Beck Does it Again- Bruce Springsteen: Born in the USA (1984) orig aired 5/9/23

[0:00]All right, here we go. Nothing can possibly go wrong today. Oh, I think Jenny came out and just started the dryer right next to me right before we started. She was like, hey, Rob, are you going to do a podcast? Yeah, I am. I'm going to just turn on this fucking dryer and put it on towel cycle. It's like two hours long. This thing has been going. Throws like a hammer in the middle of the dryer. Let's have a little racket to it, right? Honey, did I put a belt in there again? No, don't worry about it. Not a big deal. Why does your belt always need to be washed, Rob? How's a belt get dirty anyway? I've never seen a belt this sweaty. Get it, Rob? Yes, it's because I tie the belt around my neck and use it to help me masturbate. Those of you that knew the podcast, welcome. Okay, welcome. Welcome. By the way, I did, I watched, I've been watching Shameless. It's the show, I think it was on Showtime. It's hilarious. Wildly entertaining. It's not appropriate for kids, but they talk about auto erotic asphyxiation.

[1:00]The guy who's sitting at the end of the bar, he said, if you're going to do it, you got To put a lemon in your mouth while you're doing it because if you pass out, eventually The sweetness or the sourness will get into your mouth and it'll cause you to wake up. So Rob, if you're ever doing. I don't think that's the problem. I don't think that's the problem when they accidentally kill themselves masturbating Is that they. No, I think you just pass out. You just need something to wake you up. Can I ask if a citrus squeeze truly will work? No, probably it'll work. Just put a truly in your mouth. All right. All right. Put the whole can of truly in there. If we caught you in a hotel room dead and there's a belt around your neck and a truly In your mouth, I would lay it on the floor. Would you clean it up for me or would you let it come out? I would tell your family that you died masturbating with a belt around your neck and I would not Tell them about the truly. That's how good of a friend I am. Can you imagine? That's part of the reputation by saying there was a lemon. But. But there were, you wouldn't make any mention of the truly, right?

[2:00]And I would say, Hey, that was for everybody out there was listening to the podcast. We appreciate it. Can you imagine me giving that podcast bit at your funeral, Russ? I'm looking forward to it. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided By Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order and led us To making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album one 42 and from 1984. It's the number one Hugo. In my mind, the boss, Bruce Springsteen with born in the USA. There's a lot of layers to that. Hugo boss joke. You go, you got to really dig deep. Did you say porn or born in the USA? Born in the USA. Oh, gotcha. Not porn in the two essays as the people who just listened as they fall asleep. And then the next episode starts just hearing that joke. And then the same joke again with the next two minutes. Anyway, today, guys, is coronation day.

[3:00]And I think started. I log in. I log in to do my wordle today. And the first fucking thing I got to see is King Charles is in his get up. We don't have to do that shit, man. Well who I know that was at the coronation. For fact, is on her Instagram. Elizabeth Holmes was there. She's giving away signed copies of her book to almost. Anyway, it's total strangers. She was giving away copies of the book. Did not care if they knew her or whatever they said. She said, I'll send this to absolutely everyone. Except for one person. Except for that naturally spare. So anyways, guys, as my joke was going to be. Yes. Today, we're not doing a coronation. We're doing a hardcore nation. We're going to make this show more hardcore tonight. I promise this is going to be the most hardcore show we've ever done. Russ is going to be sitting there chewing his nails to the quick trying to decide what to edit out of this thing. Oh, yeah. This is going to be great.

[4:00]So hardcore, Rob. I'm going with Ruby Grapefruit instead of 11 one. Oh, my God. Ruby Grapefruit. Oh, I got a canker sore just hearing that. All right. What if you came in, Rob? It's just me with the belt. And there's just like a dozen truly cans sprinkled all over the floor. And the first 11 works. And the last one let me down. You didn't pick up the cans in between during the refractory period. You did not pick up any of the cans. You just left them on the floor of your hotel. So you get tired after that. Okay. I'm going to catch a nap here and there. We know he doesn't tip the room staff at the hotel. We know that for a fact. He's let that slip before. So he's putting all those truly cans on the ground and not to actually. Wow. Before you get to your song, I will say there was a let's call this a listener of our podcast. And they listened to my story about the bartender issue I had with the espresso martinis. Remember how there's that one bartender that keeps coming around? I can't get rid of him. This listener of ours said, did you tell them that you're such a good tipper? That's part of the.

[5:00]The reason why the guy keeps coming back is I'm a very good tipper, Rob. And that's part of the reason why the guy won't let us go. Can you believe that my that you let him on that your good friend is giving you that kind of encouragement of like, you're a good tipper and just gassing you up like that. Meanwhile, my spouse with Matt says, no, when the comic ass doesn't matter how big he is in bed. Like, that's the difference of support we're getting, Russell. Interesting. So, yeah, it's very interesting. Maybe you should tip better. You should give better tips. Listen, I would, but it's so hot. I'm trying, but it's so hot. It's red hot. All right. Let's get into the radio. And I think it's already fallen asleep. Here we go. No, I'm trying to find that. Send you that link. Now, a lot of people out there have dated this man, Rob, because of his looks. There's more to me than that. Where is there? I was dating this woman, but she broke up with me.

[6:00]Oh, no. Oh, no. Wait, what? I didn't know exactly what I should say. Said there's something about me. She said there's something that she disdains. And now I'm thinking, but that's the problem. I have a little brain. He's a sapiens actual. Yes. She won't go out with you unless you're smart. And now she's blowing. Some guy that's reading Rene Descartes. Oh, yeah. I could have put it Mozart or the juggles art. I'm not a great student, but I'm reading every book in my bookcase. And now I'm hoping that she'll come over and sit on my face. I'm broken up by my artists.

[7:00]I know David was done by Michelangelo. And now I'm hoping. Yeah. That knowing this fact will get me fellatio. She's a sapiens actual. She's attracted to guys like Bill Gates. And now I'm hoping. Yes. I'm at least smart enough so we can mutually masturbate. What do you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time? But you're just too lazy to look it up online. If you want to look for guys. I'm sorry. It's the perfect podcast, guys. We had a song to end with the words mutually masturbate. Oh, finally, my dream has come true. Anyway, that was a song written by a pretty funny guy, obviously. And I did say we were going more hardcore.

[8:00]Do you guys know that chat GBT will not give you the response with? Can you tell me? Things that are smart and things that are sex acts that rhyme. It cannot do that because I had to be like, I'd be like, okay, sitting in my face. What rhymes with that? That's also smart. And I was like, bookcase. Ah, yes. Very smart stuff. Sending a rocket into space. That would be a smart thing to do. What the fuck? That's way better than a bookcase. Dang, man. Dang. You got me. Listen, I got four guys here who can't believe this album isn't at 123. Oh, wait. Let me say like Bruce Springsteen would. One, two, three. I've got Russ in Minnesota. Russ, how are you doing? Hey, Aaron and Matt standing over there in the corner. Today's your lucky day for sure. All right. Me and my buddy Rob. He's from New York City. We got $200 and we want to rock all night. Yes. Yeah. And a lot of people are losing their jobs.

[9:00]200. Is that all it takes? All right. I was continuing the lyrics and I did one of these songs. I was like, I think I would stop hooking. I might stop hooking if I was only getting $200 a night. For two dudes, right? I mean, come on. Like 200 to rock all night with two dudes? You got a chart. That means the normal rate is only 100 or do they like compound it? So far, this is the most hardcore show we've done. This is so good. The dog is scratching at the door again. Oh, no. Oh, that's hardcore. This is hardcore. Oh, yep. I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good. This podcast is just trying to recapture a little of the glory of. Yeah. But as time slips away, leaves you with nothing. But Rob talking about his glorious penis. Oh, God. Shoot. That would have been a good song, too. Instead of glory days, I could have done glorious penis. If you don't think I tried to write a song about glory holes to glory days, You don't know me very well.

[10:00]What if we just glory grays talking about your pubic hair? Glory grays. Oh, no, no. It's scratching on Jenny's door. Wait. You got to be right back. Jenny's going to wake up. Jesus Christ. What if we just took over the podcast and let Rob sit it out and he can come back with His glory hole days song. And I've got out in California. Now, listen, after Aaron was just telling us before the podcast started that when Aaron's kid was born, he pulled the doctor aside and he said, listen, Doc, I know it's A weird question, but when can we have sex again? Oh, the doctor said, well, I'm not sure, but I get off work in two hours. That's what she said. The doctor was a woman. You guys, did you picture the doctor being a woman? Yes. If you didn't picture the doctor, the woman having sex with everybody, you have preconceived Biases. You better work on it. Okay. But please, not only are we hardcore, we're teaching you about your biases. I was going to make a you thought Aaron was having sex with a man dressed as a doctor. Think about what you just said. That's biased.

[11:00]Well, I think we're going down. Let's talk about born in the USA. Dan, rather biased. I want to make an announcement right now. And I was going to say, I'm not going to make an announcement right now. I'm not going to make an announcement right now. I'm not going to make an announcement right now. I'm not going to say this out of the show, but it seems like I should make it out too. The last two emails we've gotten from Russ about the episodes have both started with Too long for me. So this episode, we are going to try to shorten it up. Okay. Literally, he just writes too long for me. I'm like, well, that's not good. That's very bad. You are actually one of the things that this show is aimed at. Like you're our number one audience. People who know us. Like that's it. That's generally been one of the reviews I've been giving what I've been hooking recently Also, Rob. That is too long for me for only 200 bucks. That's a review I've never gotten too long for me. Now listen. Okay. And so podcast listener out there, look at the time that this episode goes and see, is It under a one 30? Did we make it? Did we do it? Are we successful? You know, our fate. We don't. Do people Yelp their sex workers?

[12:00]Is that a thing? I wouldn't do. I mean, it's got to exist, right? I bought my car out the other day. I had a lease and I bought my car. Yes. This goes right to a story. And I, afterwards the, the process was fine, but the guy texted me Directly and was like, could you please go on Google reviews and leave a review just For me? And I just ignored it. Like, I'm not doing that. What do you guys think? Do you ever do that? Do you leave reviews like on public sites for things? Can I give you guys a embarrassing story? When I went down to Florida, I got a free jujitsu lesson at a place and they said, all You have to do is leave a positive Google review and we'll give you a free lesson. And I said, oh yeah, sure. I'm happy to do it. And I went in really nice place, had a great time, super clean. Everybody was really nice. And I left. And that was six weeks ago. You guys want to guess what I'm going to see next? I have not written the review. It's in my head. I think about it every day. I'm like, I should write that review today. There it is. Tell them, listen to the podcast.

[13:00]There's your, oh my gosh. Just put a link to this episode. Two stars. Not great. All right. There's the review. And now let's get into our bullet. Oh, yes, I do. Russell all the time. That's very kind, man. You what? What were we talking about again? Seriously. What were we talking about? Never negative ones, just positive ones. So do you use like the server's name in them? Well, no, it's like we went to that vineyard out when we were out near Napa Sonoma and people were very nice and there were new vineyard and stuff. Well, this is great. You know, things like that for sure. Well, But it's like a new business or like there's young owners that are just like, we're Working so hard. And then you're like, you leave a review and you're like, number two, you're like, I'm A goddamn hero. I'm a folk hero. Like if people should be worshiping me, I'm the, I'm keeping what's America. I'm I'm what's America right now. I'm keeping it going.

[14:00]So I think this might be a cry for help. I don't know why I'm calling, but in two things happened. Okay. So good start. Right. Great. Might be a cry for help. Might be a cry for help. If you've already figured out that it might be. Yeah. Hey, if you're asking the question the answer. All right. I'm steady sat at his kitchen table and his nuts touched his chair and no one really raised Any questions about that. Yeah. Cause everybody does it. Everybody has sat at their kitchen nude guys. Hands up. Have you done it? What's that? Have you, what, Russ, what are you doing? We're doing a show. I asked you four times to turn that voice bill up. I can't hear it. I didn't refuse. I can't turn it up anymore. Wait, let me check one thing. I think this caller has got a ball gag in his mouth. It's going to be amplified through the podcast where you can hear it. Like I can use your diet. This guy said that when I talked about sitting my nuts down at the kitchen

[15:00]Table, you guys didn't think it was weird. You didn't say anything. You just let that slide by with no conversation. I don't think anyone would be surprised if you're walking around naked. I can't cause my, my entire backyard is in view of, or my kitchen is in view of my kitchen. I can't see anything. My kitchen is in view of my neighbor in the back. So I have to watch the nudity. Have you ever sat at the kitchen table naked? Matt, you have. Come on. Never. Never have. You guys have never done that? Russell. I mean, these chairs aren't that comfy. I don't know. Like they're wooden chairs. That's my point. You wouldn't like being naked. No, it's not great. I'm telling you. Russell. Come on, Russell. Come through for me. You know what? I don't really. Don't lie, Russell. I don't really have a kitchen table. I have a table in my kitchen. That's like a, that's kind of like a. Is it hold the mail? Yeah. It's a hold the mail, but it's a, it's like a built-in bench. And honestly, like, I just don't like sitting there. It's like a booth that's built into the wall. I don't like sitting there. So I have a table out here, but for the last three years, this table has been full of Like computer monitors and stuff. So I don't think this is really considered the kitchen table, but no, I don't sit out

[16:00]Here naked at either one of them. Russell. I got to ask where you eat meals. My man sounds like there is no place to eat a meal in your house. I would usually move if I need to. If I'm going to eat. If I had the table here, I would eat. If you need to. I like it. If I'm going to eat. Yeah. What are you doing? I just, I moved my keyboard. You see this keyboard I have? You got a coffee table? I mean. I do have a coffee table in the living room too. Yes. Russell, it sounds like you live in a space pod somewhere. I mean, your house sounds smarter than Aaron's. We might have to do it. We might have to do a camera tour. Russell, get that laptop moving around. Russell. We got to see. Russell, I, I feel you, man. If I'm going to eat something. By myself, I'm going to sit at my ass down in front of the TV or something. I'm not going to just go like sit at a table by myself with my nuts hitting the chair just To feel a little feeling from something like, what are you looking at? Would you just stare? Are you watching your phone or what are you doing when you're sitting at a kitchen table By yourself, Rob? I would want to sit at the kitchen table naked before I sit on my couch naked.

[17:00]Really? I mean, my couch, it's, it's suede. It's like microfiber. Like there's a, don't need that. Like what if what I mean? What would you be more embarrassed, Rob? If you were sitting at the kitchen table naked. If you were sitting at the kitchen table naked. If you were sitting at the kitchen table naked. If you were sitting at one of them naked and the whole family came home, which one Would you be like, oh fuck, this is bad. Oh, on the couch. Cause you're so reclined. You're so reclined. So that would be the door opens and you scramble. Yeah. Yeah. I would, I don't know what I would have to act like if somebody robbed me. I don't know. I think at least on the couch, you can just claim you were doing something in like private That you shouldn't be doing when other people walk in. But like at the kitchen table, what the fuck? Right. I mean, maybe it's just that you got distracted by like a Cadbury egg. You were like, oh, I was going to the shower, but oh, actually I'm really excited to eat This cabbage or whatever. The dog jumped in my wife's bed. She was out here yelling at me about it. My God, my life's over. All right. Let's get back to this voicemail. Hey, under one 30. I think we can still do it guys. Then there was a voicemail from a woman, very kind woman named charm who was keeping praise

[18:00]On you. And you said she was the only one that called it to know you. Well, I don't know you. I'm in Chicago. And I think the reason this was recommended with me, Because I listened to see change right back. And next thing you know, I've listened to more than 50 episodes of this. Yes. This is for real. This is real. Totally worked. You were right. I, yeah, I thought I, I honestly, I thought this was one of two people. Yeah, me too. I thought it was Brian from Woodbury at first, but then they started talking about sitting With your nuts at the table. And there's no way that Brian's talking about that. I thought it was John from Edina. I thought it was John from Edina. And then I'm looking John from Edina has been a lot of places naked and sat A lot of places. So that would be completely another internet stranger, another internet. That's crazy. See change is my favorite Beck album has lost cause on it. Yes. Aaron, keep this SEO going. I love it. And now to make it even weirder, I recommended it to a friend from St. Olaf and he knows a couple of you guys.

[19:00]So seriously, why am I listening to this? And we know that person didn't go to St. Olaf because he called it St. Olaf. It doesn't bother us. It doesn't bother us. We're fine. Wow. Someone's doesn't even know a lot of stuff. It doesn't even know the limestones. Wow. I think this guy nailed it right on the head is like, he's what the fuck am I doing with My life? But I actually love listening to the podcast. So it was like a back handed way, back doorway of saying, he really likes us. He likes you, Rob. He really likes you. He's stuck with us. He's out there. Yeah. He's stuck. It's all I want. Waiting to get us in his ear holes. What? Yeah. Okay. Guys, I got it. He's scratching at my wife's door. Get out. This is craziness. This is good. Guys. Rob is fucking off the chain. What is going on right now? He is off the rails playing these voicemails that don't make any sense. And then he's getting pissed at us for not understanding them.

[20:00]And it's like, you can barely hear it. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. And then he just gets up and he's left like four times. Okay. He's back. He's back. All right. So, that's it for the voicemail. Hey, another stranger. We salute you. Did that guy leave his name? Did he? Did that guy leave his name or no? I don't think so. Okay. Cause I just want to salute whoever you are from Chicagoland. Thank you for listening. We salute you. Not AI generated voice. Some of us appreciate you listening. We'll take a shot. Thank you Mr. Chicagoland. Oh Lord. Oh, that's so gross. All right. Let's get into everybody's favorite part of the show. We'll put, we'll put some Jardineer on our hot dogs. Oh yeah. I like that idea. It's time to see what everybody's up to. What's Jardineer? It's time for. Roll it. It's like pickled peppers, man. It's like some sort of Chicago thing. Pickled pepper relish that goes on Italian beef. I wonder how much I could get. Could I get a peck of it? And after watching Shameless, that guy definitely does not live on the south Side of Chicago. He's definitely a north side guy or like a forest park or whatever the outer suburbs

[21:00]Are. Guys, we can't do maps of multiple cities. I can't do it. I don't see why not. I mean, I think it's really. Aaron, rolling on. How's it going with you? It's going really well. I, all right. Let me see if there's anything else. All right. Let me see if this works. Okay. I've got something very important to talk to you guys about. Can you guys still hear me? Can you see me? Yup. All right. Are you quitting? Nope. Nope. I just want to, I want to read a few things to you. When we have all this silence. This is what I'm going to drink. My mango truly is to keep me awake right now. What the fuck's going on? All right. I just want to read. I just want to read a few things to you. Okay. You ready? I want to know your body. Okay. How you make me feel. Yeah. Yes. Beside you. Yes. I keep calling you. Okay. Get gasms. But if we don't have each other, I need to look at my dating apps, roll around.

[22:00]You fill me up. And finally I fit in there, you guys, this is the track list from smoky Robinson's newest Album. Gasms released last Friday, this man is 82 years old. And the album. It is as delightfully awkward as it sounds. It's, it sounds great. It's worth a listen to everybody. Check it out. But like this man is still out there, but now track lists like that, it's a extremely Horny album. So good for smokey. He's 82. I hope every 82 year old out there is working like smokey is. If you notice that one of the songs on the album ends with the words, mutual masturbation, I'm going to tell you right now, that is parallel thinking. Okay. I did not copy it. Or it could be perpendicular. Oh. Do you think he's always been this way or do you think now that he's like eighties, He's just says, fuck it. And I'm just going to start, I'm going to guess he's always been this way, but he had

[23:00]To kind of like he, he, he had a, he had to keep it Motown. He had to keep it radio. Right. He had a lane. Right. So he had to kind of like, but he started the quiet storm. I mean, his, he literally has now I'm called the quiet storm, but I, I recommend people Go out. There goes the dog. Yes. You know, if you're hanging out with somebody fucking Rob's gone again, you guys believe This shit. I think he, I think part of smoke, he's probably doing it. Like he realizes his relevance is up. And so you kind of have to throw some sort of shock value into what you're doing to keep An audience. Right? Yes. You're exactly right. Because he's also running around doing Quincy Jones style interviews where he's like, Oh, Back in the seventies, I had an affair with Diana Ross and we were both married. Like stuff is just like, wait a minute. Like nobody needed to know. He's just throwing everything out to like make whatever. Right. News article he can, or to get interviews or to, to we could probably get him On this podcast at this point. Right. Is it any good? Did you listen to the album? Is it any good? It is absolutely good. Yeah.

[24:00]It's top notch. R and B. I mean, it's really good. Like the band is good. They're good grooves. No, it's absolutely worth a listen, but also just amazing. And I've been, I've been watching this for at least three months. I was like, I've been planning my rolling, going around gasms, but I wanted to listen To it before I talked about it. I talked about it and I knew the release date was April 28th. I've been looking forward to it, but now I've had a week to sit with it. You know, the gasm is released. I knew the gasm is released. Get out there, get yourself some gasms, everybody. I highly recommend. Can you imagine this is, I think this is all a ploy that Aaron got his internet history Found out by his wife and was like, no, I'm really into, the new smokey Robinson Album. And then he asked like Paul smokey Robinson, he's like, smokey, you owe me one. You have to make an album. It's called gasms. I got to get out of this. You know, this is a week later, if I had that kind of clout with smokey Robinson, I'm not Sure that's what I use it for. There's been a lot of albums that have come out by like 80 year olds, right? Like, Neil young he's put out stuff.

[25:00]He's put out music lately. It's just not that good. Right? Like things are going downhill. Bob Dylan. I mean, he keeps touring and keeps putting out stuff and he hasn't had anything good, You know, since about 2000. So I don't know. I would be very leery of anything that comes out. But if you say it's good. See, not me. I'm I will always there are some, there's, there are limits, but I love old Guy albums, man. Like Johnny cash is very last one is too hard to listen To, but man, like there's some Joe Strummer albums. I really like, I like, some Chris Christopherson stuff. I love old man albums. Okay. Yeah. Gasms. Check it out. That was it. That's my whole long gone. You guys remember the movie orgasmo? Yeah. Yeah. I remember I watched that movie with you more times than I can. What would you guys think of someone who has a friend and in their favorite movie, Was orgasmo for at least a year. It wasn't me, but Aaron and I had a mutual friend that this was their favorite movie. What would you think? That's you can tell that's in a predating world where you had to laugh. Like it's like, it's like me when at work, when somebody asked Oh, what book

[26:00]Are you reading right now? And I have to like say the same book I've been saying for the last two years or whatever. You just have to sit, come up with a movie. That's not orgasmo. When you're on a date. Hey, what do you want to watch you panic orgasmo? What is my favorite movie? God. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. I think the dating was not that easy for him anyway. So he was so busy from his late shifts at McDonald's, Rob my go-to book, Right? I've told you once before, it's the game penetrating the secret society of pickup Artists. That's what you tell people you're reading when you're out to date. I'm negative. You dummy. I'm a sapiosexual. Russell rolling going. How's it going with you? Rolling going. Things are really good. I actually, I went on a trip last week. I went to the nation's capital, Washington, DC. I went for a work trip and I thought I could get some advice from you guys. I might need to go to the advice corner here for something.

[27:00]Oh no. I said I would never stop this song. Once I started. Oh, we got to play it then. Yeah. I do both. Oh yeah. Can't wait to play God save the King on our podcast. We don't have to do this. Yes, we do. Aaron. It's not God save the King. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do this. God save the King. God save the King. This is actually the other song. Yes, by liege. Yes, by liege. Let's all put up our piggies and swear an oath to the real King Charles. Back to the better, swear allegiance to King Charles. Whatever he does, I'll do it. And whatever he says it's fine. Yes, by liege. So anyways, I was out in DC last week for a cool work event and I thought What? There's this purse. Traveler that i know and this traveler had started giving me some grief in recent months because i'd Been to arizona a few times i'd been out of minneapolis i've been out of the weather and

[28:00]I've gone to nice places for work trips and i have chosen not to invite this traveler along Because i would rather it just be a work trip where i can focus on getting my job done and i Started go ahead don't have to say why like we get it russell we we get why i mean those you'd Want to go on a trip by yourself okay those dating apps are better when you don't have to Worry about you know the three of us understand more than you could possibly imagine if you told Any of us right now that we have 30 minutes to get out of the house to pack our bags and we'd Be by ourselves for five days we would even pack a bag we just run out of the house I'd be like i'll pack a bag wherever i'm going let's go five days i'll buy a bag when i get There so so i i go to this trip and i i i say hey to this traveler you should come with i we can stay A few extra days in dc we can explore the city we can go to some fun restaurants it'll be fun so The traveler takes me up on this offer they come out to dc i finish up my conference and we

[29:00]Do some fun things we do ford the ford theater where lincoln was assassinated i i don't want To give rod really super fun i really didn't even want to bring that up because i don't want Rob to go down that route because i feel like that you know we could have the authorities Called on us if rob starts making those types of jokes i just have one thing to say to that russell Yep Extempore tyrannus okay the real ones know but we ended up going to some fun restaurants we Walked down to capitol hill we we did some of the monuments we did the number one speakeasy in dc Which was fantastic we went to georgetown for a night we did so we did a bunch of great things A bunch of fun things one of my favorite things you guys will love this the traveler is Is a runner this person wants to get out and do their run every day so one of these days they were Going to say i'm going to go do the run i was Like you should go down to the mall you can go do all the monuments and everything it's like one of The best runs you can do right i did i'm sorry i must have misheard you because you said we should

[30:00]Go down to the mall right is that what you said to that i said you should go jogging down At the mall together you should go down you should go so here's the reason i let this person Go not that i wanted to go running with them to begin with but i let them go running so i could Sneak away and go to a baseball game what are your thoughts about how long of a run was this Seven miles i guess with the pitch clock you can yeah is it okay for me to bust away and go do Like something fun while the traveler is going for a run on the mall like if that's what They want to do in cdc i should be able to go do that right did you tell them that while They were going on this run you were going to the base yes i did matt i did i didn't get any it Wasn't like well i just go you know i'm gonna i'm gonna go find something to do for the next Hour and a half two hours and did you say it before or did you say it before you said it before you Did you say it while the plan was in motion like you're like yeah i'm in a car there's nothing i Could do i have to go how long you how far you're running about nine innings you're gonna run like Or maybe you're gonna run like seven innings how many innings would you say this run's gonna we

[31:00]Were definitely planning like a brunch and all this stuff and these things and at one point i Realized oh this is a possibility and i may have pushed for like a certain brunch spot that opened At a certain time so that my schedule would line up to get to the ford's theater in the morning Get to this brunch spot and then it's the logical time to run which just happens to Side with 107 in the pm in the eastern time right so this enthusiast will run after brunch It's an it's a travel and a running enthusiast aaron i'm impressed that's great i would like a Nap after brunch but the real question i had to ask in fact i would say brunch is one of the Worst meals you could eat before jogging right like there's there's alcohol there's salsa There's like tostadas i mean there's lots of stuff where you gotta be a coffee just think About that it's tons of coffee alcohol And salsa that's what a brunch is oh my god some people it's bloodies yeah oh no and bloodies You cannot have bloodies and go running you will have a bloody if you do that oh my god so the

[32:00]Real question i had wasn't about my dc trip it was a great trip we had a lot of fun but my question Was after this we came back and it turns out this traveler had a trip coming up with their friends And they went to mexico and i didn't get an invite how should i handle if i went out of my Trip wow and then this traveler just decides oh i'm gonna go off and have fun in mexico and no Invite they gave me a courtesy invite like three days before when i brought up i said hey just Saying courtesy i didn't get an invite they said that well do you want to come i was like well It's a little late for that right so how would you say that's an invite my dude i don't know If you're traveling if you're a traveler in your life you invited them and they didn't invite you Let me think if my traveler in my life was going to leave my house for five to seven days and i would Be by myself what would i do sit in the kitchen naked right yeah i would sit

[33:00]Right down the kitchen table balls on the chair i would think about it i would use their phone to Book an earlier ticket and wake them up early tomorrow and say you have to go the flight's Changed you got to go now goodbye again what is i need a little bit of context so I've been planning it for months was it a whim a couple weeks ago and then they just like sprung it On you and said like oh you know matt that would be implying that i've been listening for the whole Time and i can't i don't remember if this person had told me about this trip or not and then so Then the second thing is is have you ever invited this person is this like a girl's trip or you know I don't know is this a girl or a guy who is this a travel enthusiast i guess i shouldn't really Technically it was a girl's trip so i had no business going but i thought it was fair for Me to be like what the heck So did do you invite this travel enthusiast like on your vegas trips with your buddies and things And technically the last time i went to vegas on a work trip this traveler did get to go

[34:00]Remember i spent seven days not on your guy's trip though but not on your guy's trip right like This travel enthusiast is not going to show up at the king's corner and start taking Yag shots is she next time we go i'm just i'm just trying to say i'm trying to figure out where We're sitting for our next vegas trip january 23rd 2024 Staying with mike don't say that mike's gonna send another human head to another hotel Now the guy from chicago is going to show up too with all these crazy people we need to shut this Show down do you guys your guys erin man i think your wife's taking a trip didn't she go to ireland Or didn't she go to europe somewhere yeah all the time we want to be by ourselves i mean what We you this what don't you get about this i've tried to be subtle about it we hate our families Leave us alone have you wait a minute don't love me in there erin quit That was like wildly inappropriate like erin's erin is like everyone is yelling at me in this House everyone hates i i mean i i'm under the camp for all things involved right

[35:00]A little bit of time away everybody who's saying that michael mcdonald everybody needs a little Time away it's playing in the background right now you can hear it away i heard to say peter Satara from each other erin isn't your wife on a trip right now without you she is yeah she's in With her sister and some friends yeah so erin what are you chilling man i'm having fun what Do you do what's your what's your favorite thing to do while the wife's away or your lady's Away that do you find something though didn't you used to like cook shrimp or something like That yes i got a new i got a new thing when she's away though i go downtown To the shawarma g yes and i eat i order a shawarma and i get the big bowl of tomb which Dipping sauce and i just put so much of it on there i just go for it and then i bring the Leftover tomb home and i put it on everything for the rest of the weekend because if i eat that much

[36:00]Garlic otherwise i'm generally asked to sleep elsewhere if that happens so that's that's my new Jam is this so your thing when your spouse is away is getting something and pouring a ton Of oil on it is that what i heard it's like an oil it's not oil no but it's like a greasy kind Of oil right would you say that are you what are you trying to that's just like what i do My spouse is away rob why'd you stop the music i think this is a good background for you guys to Talk about what you're so rob what do you mean the best part and then i go on red tomb i'm like Aaron i go on red tomb.com and i look up what's the highest watched movie today on red tomb Your wife and kids have taken some trips recently without you what do you like to do when You've got the house yourself i i do what i do every day i come home and i put on my noise Except instead of having sexual relations with a young woman i'm playing video games and listening To podcasts at the same time because i'm pretty sure i have adult onset adhd you can do that you

[37:00]Can you can yep don't the video games have sound i think i don't i really don't want to think about Anything i don't want to have any thoughts i don't want to just like if a thought creeps in I'm like oh you gotta push it out put on yeah really i'm like maybe i should get something That makes the smells too you know what i mean like all my senses at once just give it to me How about what about matt what about you man yeah why Does rob keep shutting off this song we're getting to the best part rob you are not on Point tonight we're just gonna warn you're not on point oh yeah join the crowd here russell Everyone hates me i mean i'm under the impression look i'm under the impression That sarah needs a little time away to just go out hang out with friends and not just deal with My bullshit every day right so and the kids and all that so i think it's good i think it's good Maybe get a couple days away and just you know come back god russ i missed you man you know so i

[38:00]Don't know i i don't know so what did you end up doing what did you that's the question i just did Like everything i normally do just like rob does i didn't do anything different you didn't go to Mexico you stayed at home there's not a cap to the story that you went to mexico i actually i Went out to a sports bar with some buddies last night and had an interesting moment where we were Sitting at these tables and the people behind us were playing pool And they wanted they asked one of us to get up out of a chair so they could shoot their pool shot What do you guys think of people who do that at a bar like we're not sitting at a high top we're Sitting at like a normal table and like the 16 year old kid asked us to get up so they could Shoot the pool shot thoughts i can answer that really quickly that's completely legit especially For playing pool that's fine so okay what happened did you go to mexico this is a total It was a fake invite so you did not go to mexico no I need to listen it's hard for me to say i'm sorry but i need to admit something too okay Okay yeah i can't believe this i think i'm in big trouble

[39:00]When i saw that a traveler had gone to mexico yeah i had assumed that it was possibly a secret Surprise and i might have i may have russell may have started a text chain with Everyone in our text chain i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry But you which was really hard to do actually there's a lot of them i've noticed that you guys Have been talking about text from manny all night and i'm not on it i'm guessing manny god damn it Man what are you doing and i may have said red alert russell is in mexico i had a Podcast i'm pretty sure he is getting engaged well yeah that when it came to tonight i was like What we did schedule like friday or saturday didn't seem to mind i pictured maybe a mic in Mexico and your big announcement because i was convinced you had gotten engaged And i was telling everybody and this text chain and then maybe one with some family members of Mine and that's it no thanks so the fact that you thanks for bringing that up rob you want to can

[40:00]We delete this out this isn't real when you were not when you showed up on the zoom and you were Not super tan i was so mad because i knew exactly what happened oh my god russell i'm sorry i Assumed you were getting engaged and i started a big thing for a lot of people and it's actually Taken up quite a bit of my time you didn't make any comments on social media Or anything did you no okay because it would be too hard to explain a lot of real life happening We're gonna need to bleep this section of the podcast out what a lot of real life going on What oh my god russell you're gonna get listened back we'll see we'll see we'll see what you Believe rolling going man how's it going with you oh no didn't go to mexico i can't believe it My world is shook right now you started a tech hold on did 1420 make the private Text chain or not yes he did You guys have a private tech chain with albie with 1420 on it that doesn't even know his name

[41:00]Even though he's gone on a trip with him no i'm gonna tell you right chris his name is chris From woodbury i definitely know chris from wood we have never used this text chain before we will Never use it again the text chain is banned okay the secret non-rust text chain is banned rob would You even be able i bet rob wouldn't be able to sleep for two weeks if we knew we started a text Chain with 1420 on there and not rob oh my god i didn't even think about that would destroy you But sometimes i do think about it Like are they texting behind my back are they saying things are they saying like why is rob Sending 10 texts when nobody has replied yet rob is still texting every night at about 7 30 to 8 That's so strange hey matt rolling going how's it going with you good Rob i my notes are all around just an airline trip i took so you might as well play The song i'll make it real quick so we can keep it under an hour 30 this week i've just got a few Notes I think i've got i've been traveling too much because i got into an argument with a gate agent

[42:00]Who told me that you should go in minneapolis there's a south and a north you know that you Can go you go through security and she and i was gonna go through the south because i said This is closer to my gate this is a real close well you're right on the border of doing a maps Bit here where you're talking about the geography of the airport i'm thinking that's true you're Trying to do a maps bit on me you know so this lady's Says you know well it's you know half the distance you get walked back there and you're Close to your gate i go no i'm not i'm closer to my gate at this gate you're just telling me that So you want me to go so then i said i'm just staying here she goes okay so i think i got a Problem there well you know what the airport is the number one place to have happened To you it's the number one place where people get gaslighted and i say it over and over every time I go to the airport you are gaslighted a million times when you are staying in security and they Have two people letting in 1 000 people into the airport and they have like two people working there

[43:00]That's the biggest thing ever and then they're like you need to get out your id before you get Up to the front of the line that's and they're implying that's what's slowing it down when It's actually them slowing it down and they're gaslighting you into thinking you're the security Problem oh man that's deep the worst gaslighter is the people who control the drug dogs and they Start yelling i told you to walk in a slow line and walk at the same pace and they're like yelling At everyone like russell's like i'm i'm keeping my butt cheeks clenched as tight as possible none Fall out yeah okay this can you imagine this condom of hashish that i have and by the way i Flew it down to mexico and then back it's it was a funny story i got three days to say no the invite But i didn't how many people smuggle drugs both ways hey rob if i were to smuggle drugs i would Use your family company's super small condoms to ingest them And then he would text everyone but you about it yes Did i tell you guys the other day down the dwayne reed i saw a

[44:00]Bunch of people who were like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry Guys they were buying 12 packs of beer and magnum condoms literally like dozens of each And i almost said what the fuck are you guys doing i gotta know and i didn't regret it every day I mean there's no way they weren't pouring the beer into the condoms right like if they're Buying dozens of those there's obviously some kind of beer that's the last thing i would have Thought of like a water balloon yeah they're doing like beer water balloons and condoms You could give me a thousand guesses and i wouldn't have been close to saying What you just said that they were going to put beer in the condoms i don't know i mean what else Would they be doing that's gross that sounds like an iowa thing that's really so matt you get Through security and what happens well so that so then i get on the plane so this Is just me being crotchety old person now i think i've just got to stop i gotta not Fly on a plane for a little bit is is there anything more annoying than the person who

[45:00]Doesn't know like how to work the screen or Work the you know just the person who doesn't know how to like flip the tray down or doesn't Understand like when the people are coming by you know take you like your drink order ask for a Snack like take your headphones off these people are trying to oh oh i didn't you know i didn't I don't know so i i got very annoyed with a lady and i felt really bad afterwards because i was in One of the aisles where the thing comes up over out of the seat you know the tray and she Just couldn't figure it out so you know what matt normally i would agree with you but i have To say i have a soft spot in my heart for rookie flyers for people that like normally fly they're Probably taking a trip let's say they fly once every five years and it's probably such a big Deal for them that like if i get in line and you see someone they don't know to take their Shoes off they don't know to take their computer they don't know any of it for some reason normally The logic part of me wants to hate that person but i try i usually find a way to like give them The benefit of the doubt and be like they're probably taking like an amazing trip that they

[46:00]Take i'm just gonna get i'm gonna be i'm gonna show them some grace and not judge them and Their inability to to run on an airport you sit and talk to russell and you're like Oh my god russell's like oh my god i bet you're having the trip of a lifetime you're the first Time flyer what are you doing he's like i've been online texting some girl down in mississippi i'm Flying down there to meet her russell's like oh my god this is the worst reason to be a rookie Flyer so russell this is you this is why i like doing the podcast the therapeutic davenport of Right here you've changed my mind completely 180 i'm with you i need to be a little more Sympathetic to these now if you if it like the dude who holds up the phone like you've talked About before it is having like the phone call in the middle of the airport fuck that guy That guy knows exactly all right so all of that my last wait man real quick i've got some Yeah oh you might say it's gold actually after you hear it but listen to this i i always tell Them what i'm gonna do i am not a rookie flyer okay you know how they know that when i get on

[47:00]This is not my first time in an airplane i'm not a rookie you know how they know that Because when i'm say henry rungarner because i'm when i'm walking or being wheeled onto the plane I'm in my full air force uniform with medals top gun instructor Not a rookie and your phone is playing the top guns theme song right as you're walking What would be your top gun No no no What would be your top gun call sign like you wouldn't be maverick or ice man or cyclone You hit play as soon as you step onto them i just i've been playing this They would be doing the first they would be doing the first like The people any sky miles members please board any current military please board and rob gets up

[48:00]They're like captain think dick thank you for joining us today You know what it was my honor serving the 69th nice brigade air squadron okay so all of that Russell and then you see me having trouble putting my movie thing back into my armchair And you're like wait a minute this guy was not you hear me say how does this plane work when It takes off i don't think after all that you flipped it over for me russell I i am calling for full-on high barriers big walls between all the seats so you don't have to Touch your bo bad breath huge elbow sharp elbow guy like a next to you i'm calling for i'm Calling for barriers all the way up so that you're just in your own little capsule and you

[49:00]Don't have to deal with your neighbor you know that sounds like to me man sounds like you want A beat suite on the plane sir the music is getting really loud Beat suite is prepared for you here's a moist towel here's some tune for you here's some Tune garlic tube it's oily yeah you could do whatever you want with it nobody can i interest You in this sanitizer sir you're by yourself i mean russell if you said to me we're gonna hit You on the head with a hammer and you're gonna be out for four days but your family will be gone For two more days i'd be like okay i'll think about it at this point i would think about it Finally get some goddamn sleeping around here all right no rob rolling going how's it going with you Okay are we being hardcore today yeah all right it's like yeah clearly listen yeah talking about I'm not gonna talk about this russell so don't get mad at me okay we got a lot or nation we've

[50:00]Got a lot we've got to edit out of this podcast okay including some lies about the text chain That some guys wanted me to say as a dare not true actor this isn't right so i got a hammer And then for rob to admit there's a side chain is the worst Wait what you're doing man you're doing the wrong thing man you're doing the wrong thing man you're I mean, Matt and I were both sitting here like, is it time to talk about this? Like, do we do this on the podcast? My sister said, are you recording the podcast tonight? You got to tell me what happened. Russell, people are deeply invested. Yeah. I'm sorry to let you down. I'm not so sure. I think you might be lying. I brought up a trip to Mexico, and you guys thought you had it down, didn't you? Yeah, we thought we knew where this was going. We did. Hey, Rob, why don't you call and leave a voicemail so we can all call you a dumb shit? Because you've earned it tonight. All right. Oh, no. Well, were you wondering why so many guys in the texting, Russell, were doing a map check-in of where were we? Right. Oh, we're going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Is anybody doing something very special for that? So this is why someone called me out on my King of Diamonds.

[51:00]I was at the King of Diamonds Club. Yes. Everyone thought there was something for you. Right. When we say, are you on a secret trip to get engaged? And instead, he sends us a map showing a strip club that I heard about. I thought it was a funny joke. I didn't know there was a side chain. It was such a funny joke, but also, I was like, devious. Russell really doesn't want us to know. Wow. He's going to get so engaged down there. All right. Listen. Dude, how do you know I got engaged and didn't get something even more committed? I know. I was looking for that, too. We still think that. We're actually texting about it on the side chain right now. Here's the thing. I'm not going to talk about it, Russell, but I got hemorrhoids for the first time ever. I got a hemorrhoid. Okay? I don't get why we're talking about it. I don't know. I don't know what I did, but I started seeing TikToks about hemorrhoids. Now, I can tell you, normally, do not want to see a TikTok. Normally, do not want to see a TikTok about a hemorrhoid. Like, that is usually at the bottom.

[52:00]And you know I'm watching, like, big blackheads and stuff. Not if a hemorrhoid came on. When you have hemorrhoids, actually, way worse to see TikToks about hemorrhoids. Not great to be constantly reminded of why you're sitting in an Epsom salt bath. Okay? So, I say that. I say, Jenny, I say, listen, I have this, and I think it's listening. My phone is listening to me. I'm, like, crazy phone guy now. And she goes, yeah, I get those annoying ads, too. And I was like, what ads do you get? Also scared to ask, in case it's, like, something really bad that she has not been telling me. You know what I mean? She's like, oh, yeah, all this chlamydia medication. I'm like, what? You said that was from the Peloton. Anyway. She goes, yeah. I see these ads on Facebook, and I wrote it down verbatim. Modeling for women over 40. I was like, what? Way to go. I was like, you get ads for modeling over 40, and I'm just getting hemorrhoid stuff? Like, life is so not fair.

[53:00]If you're attractive, your life is so easy. That's what I've learned. My life sucks. It sucked to begin with. It sucks now, guys. Got to be attractive. You're very attractive, bro. Damn, Aaron, I'm coming back. I'm feeling it. Okay? I think you're right. You know what? I'm going to search for modeling. Modeling for men over 40 in New York City. The live Google search. That'll bring us back from the brink. So, it took me to a site where it just says hooking. That's not what I meant by models. The old $200 affiliate. So, that was it. That was my rolling going. Do you guys want to expand on that at all? Nope. Oh, it's a music podcast. I'm trying to stay under an hour 30. And did you guys think I was going to do it? Do you guys want to do a poll to see if any of you had gotten hemorrhoids? Because I'm not going to. Okay? We are not that hardcore. Yeah, that's... Yeah, nope. That's not... Hey, man, put your hand on, man.

[54:00]All right, here we go. I didn't do the poll. Let's talk about the album. We were talking about Born in the USA. Oh, my God. I almost forgot. That's what we're talking about. Born in the USA is the seventh studio album by Bruce Springsteen. It was released in 84. And it's kind of a departure for him from talking about him growing up in New Jersey And all that New Jersey stuff and being on the edge of town and how he's born to run Out of that town. And now, We're talking about kind of America and Heartland as a whole. Huge commercial success, the album. It spent 84 weeks on the Billboard 200, 30 million copies. It had seven top 10 singles. I want you guys to guess right now. Which one of these songs charted highest on the list? Just say it right now, and I'll tell you when we get there. Glory to... My hometown. Dancing in the Dark. My hometown, Dancing in the Dark. Russell? I got to go with the opener. Born in the USA? Nice. I'll tell you when we get there. I'll tell you when we get there. Musically, Born in the USA. It's more... This is what I think of when I think of 1980s rock music.

[55:00]This was a car cassette for a long time in my life, where this was one of the cassettes In the car. So you could put it on. I'm on fire. Was it I'm on fire? I'm going to tell you later, man. I already made the premise. We're moving forward. I'm going down. I'm going to Arlington County. Was it I'm going down? Down, down. I'm going down. You guys thought I was going to do it. I was going to do a list on I'm going down about the best songs with repeated lyrics. Oh, what? But I didn't. We've already done a list about the best songs about going down. Oh, God. I forgot. I was like, you were going to do a list about oral sex? Wow. That is hardcore. And Aaron's like, no, we did that episode four. We did it in the Beyonce episode. Because she's talking about Skittles. Dang, Aaron. You have such a good memory. Where does... Does this immediately follow Dancing in the Dark? Or what's the album that precedes this? No, Dancing in the... Nebraska. No, this is right after Nebraska. He recorded a lot of this when he was recording. When Nebraska was after this one. No, Nebraska's before this one.

[56:00]Right before. But not on the list. We're going to hear it in like three albums. It's coming right up. But this won Grammy for Best Male Rock Vocal for Dancing in the Dark. And a lost album of the year, too. Can't Slow Down by who, Aaron? Lionel Richie. Yep, Lionel Richie. Oh, Lionel Richie. Lionel Richie's. No, Manhattan Transfer did not win an actual Grammy. You know I would buy that on eBay. So. Let's see. Let's get into this. I'm just telling you, when I hear this opener, it's 80s rock. Yep. Big time. They mic'd the drum in a weird way. Best opener of all time. Yep. You think so, Matt? Iconic. Oh it's up there, obviously. Everybody knows. But like exactly what it is, right? When you hear it. It's one you've got to call your buddies about when you hear the opening 10 seconds, right? Oh, you'd have to call somebody on this album. If you put this cassette in, and this is what you heard. And what's... What's wild is that the intro was kind of improvised the day of,

[57:00]And the drum was like mic'd that way randomly, And it made that perfect sound that you cannot think about anything else when you listen to the song. Now, this got all the way up to number nine on the Billboard. This is not the number one single, Russell. What? I'm sorry to tell you. It's kind of crazy, isn't it? How does this not get above nine? Part of the problem is, listen to this, the lyrics at the end of the song. What is he saying here? Can you tell me? Cool Rockin' Daddy on a USA? He's a cool rockin'. Daddy on the USA? Is that what he's saying? I mean, he's got a little bit of Otis Redding in him where he just like, When he gets real fired up, he just says some stuff that you're like, I don't know if those words are words, but it sounds good. What do you think he's saying there, Russell? I don't know. I just know a lot of these songs are actually quite depressing, But the songs don't sound depressing, do they? No. Yeah. That's a lot of Bruce Springsteen, though. Right. Right. Even some of the stuff on Nebraska is like really pretty songs,

[58:00]And then you're like, oh, we're going to get to that. But that's why all these politicians who you have to admit is the most like Skin-shallow job you could possibly have. Like, you just have to be fake all the time. They pick that song because they're like, yep, Love the part everybody can understand, born in the USA. Listen, can't understand the rest. I heard some stuff that was a hard rockin' daddy. I think that's okay. And they don't realize that they're running for president on like a song That's about how unemployment and racism and all this terrible stuff Happening in the USA. It's like it's been happening to Twisted Sister now, Where everybody we're not going to take it. And everybody, All the Republicans are playing that We're not going to take this Democrat. And so then Dee Snider has to come out and say, Do you understand what that song was? Like that kind of a thing. So it's just, it's hilarious. Matt, can you read the last lyric of the song? Rob pulled it up. Can Matt read the last one? I'm a cool rocking daddy in the USA now. That's literally the best lyrics I've ever heard in a song. That's poetry. I'm a cool rocking daddy in the USA. Hey, Maya Angelou, you're out of here. Bruce Springsteen, you're in.

[59:00]Best poem ever. I think he just blacks out. He blacks out sometimes and says stuff. Oh, it's so wild. You know what? Here's the thing. He is an incredible live performer, right? I mean, he is just giving it his all for three hours every night. I mean, you can't expect, I think he just, That's just the way he does it. He's just shouting into the mic because he's playing guitar and a lot of Stuff too, He is not doing this in concert. He is in a studio. He literally said, I'm a cool rocking daddy. He's probably like, I'll fill that in later. And then they just. This is a classic, again, classic, A person who records music because they're, They're so good live, right? And then there's people who do live shows because they're so good at Recording music and Bruce Springsteen absolutely falls in the category of He is a wonderful, awesome live performer. And the only reason he's got studio albums, Not the only reason, but his studio albums, You can't capture the energy that he's got in his live performances, Which is why everybody likes him. And I think it might've been the butt on the cover of this album, man. Did you know that was Annie Leibovitz picture of just,

[1:00:00]Just, Just his butt that was on the cover. That is a famous, But I would say, Would you guys think, Is that a top three, But in music, What are the top three butts in music? Do you think JLo's number one? I got to say, No close. Number one is sir. Makes a lot that what are you standing on the video? That's the number one most famous, But in music history, What's number two JLo. I would say JLo is number two, But I Bruce Springsteen, But is up there guys. I was going to say where, How far do you have to get before it's an actual guy's, But it feels like the top 20, It would be. What about, I thought, I thought Rob used to wear Prince pants. I see. I don't think Prince butt is as nice as Bruce Springsteen. It's his butt did like a hard boiled egg. It's in that thing. Not great. You're like, Oh, Prince's ass is going to be hot. And it was kind of like, Oh, It's kind of like, Like a seal. I'm going to show you one of the greatest butts in. This is one of the greatest butts in human history. And it is a male butt, Man. Just to let you know the video for faith guys, Get ready for this.

[1:01:00]What is that? What is spinning into our eyesight? Right now. See, But I mean, Excuse me, Aaron, Aaron, I was just trying to George. Michael's butt is a top two, But, And it ain't number two. I'm going to tell you that right now. I'm trying to compare it to Springsteen. I'm not sure, Man. Oh, It's a miles better than Springsteen. And it's almost up there with the Sir Mix-a-Lot, But wait, Wait till the music starts. Just inducted to the rock and roll hall of fame. By the way, Classic wind amp song, This song. So I never had any George Michael on my wind amp. None. Watch this. Get ready. Okay. I thought that was going to be his butt, But it wasn't my bad. All right. So we're at, Oh, Look at that right there. Do you see what that was? I was thinking we had yet another Mariah Carey, A snow suit situation. What that was. Look at this. Okay. So side note, Rosie brought it up. George Michael going to the rock and roll hall of fame. Yep. Yeah. There is a documentary out there. And I think it was done by George Michael finished in like 2017. And it's on Delta.

[1:02:00]So anybody's flying Delta could watch it. Wonderful documentary to kind of cap. I'm too busy jerking it in my beat suite. Who's who George Michael is and how important he was to like record Contracts. You know, Nobody knows that what he, We don't remember what things that he does for record contracts. And, You know, He tried to get out of his, Cause it was essentially a, He was a slave to his contract with Sony and he finally got out of it And stuff. And so he absolutely deserves to be in the rock and roll hall of fame, Not only for his music, But for what he did for record contracts. So that's my side. Yeah. So if you see it, Rosie, You should watch it. I will a great crossover artist to like a, One of the white people, We've got to play it on black radio. You know, I met him once. You guys are not this. You guys are not going to believe where I bet George Michaels. Was he on a separate text chain that the rest of us were not? No, Man. Was it through George Michael or George Michaels? Do you guys know where I bet George Michael? This is going to blow your mind. There's this bath house. Okay.

[1:03:00]Downtown. He and I would be there all the time together. Like a lot. So yeah, Do you guys watch the news? Like what's going on? Are you on the news, Matt? Can you tell them why that's funny, Please? I don't know. You know, Sometimes when you, I don't think it's blowing out other people's candles. Doesn't make your shiny. Right. Rob, Just want to let you know that somebody went to a bath house. That's just like a thing that people do or did getting a hand job in there. Aaron, That was, You know, Back in the eighties and nineties, It wasn't so accepting. And these people, You know, They had to don't make my jokes. I'm like, I was mean. I'm being supportive. I'm in there with George Michael. That's in the job. I'm there. How much more of an ally can you be? I'm jacking them. Jeez. I loved faith. I love that video. All right. Listen, I agree with you. That was pretty next up. Oh God. We're only on song two. We got to go guys. We're never going to make an hour, An hour 30 cover me. Did you say this was his top song, Man?

[1:04:00]It's a great groove. It might not be the one you're talking about, Rob, But how can you not love this? This song, Well, He wrote it for Donna Summers and decided to keep it for himself. A good call, Right? Oh, Wow. Yeah. You may hear this with a disco beat in the back, Don't you? Yeah. Yeah. With the rhythm guitar. What's the deal? Is this, Is this the E street band or not? I don't know who's playing on the record. Cause it's not credited to the E street band. I mean, There's a couple of times where he yells to the big man. Like you hear that in the mix. I mean, Clarence Clemons and him in that video are dancing on a globe, Aaron. I think it's the same band. It's, It's Roy Baton who we talked about. He played with meatloaf. It's Clarence Clemons, Gary, Talents, E-Band's aunt and Weinberg. I think it is. Okay. It says the album was recorded with the E street band. They also had Nils Lofgren on this album because he is coming up on a solo. Get ready for that little bit of a story. Darlington country County. Yeah. This has the guitar solo by Nils Lofgren.

[1:05:00]What a great segue. I screwed up. This one also has, I think this album does a great job of putting the big band in with some Sacks, But not overdoing it. Right? Like he comes in, Hammers it for like 30 seconds. Then he kind of goes away again. Yeah. Yep. I would say this would be the, The second best sacks after that one that embarrassed Tom Brady. Okay. You guys know the game I'm talking about. All right. Working on that. I was trying to think of a historic sack and I couldn't think of one. Maybe when Dan Orlovsky ran out of the back of the end zone. Well, I'd probably be with member when straight hand sacked, Brett Favre. That was such. And who, And you know what? I trusted Brett Favre. Yeah. And I would always trust Brett Favre. And I would always, If Brett Favre asked me to help his child play volleyball, Wanted me to send him money, I would do it. Okay. And if he says he didn't scam it and then use that to do something else, I can't remember what it was. Oh no, Wait, He, We took the money from the million dollar man's son.

[1:06:00]Wouldn't the most famous sack be LT and Joe Theismann. That's gotta be. Oh God. Aaron. Aaron. You guys know what I'm talking about? What were you guys talking about earlier? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Vincent. Come on. Come on back. Something Vincent. What was it? Please guys. Who got sacked? Who was yours? Russ? The big sack. Oh, Michael Strahan and Brett Favre. No joke after that. Okay. Nevermind. I had a Vincent price laugh. I'll cute up. Do you guys know why? A million dollar man? Oh yeah. Everybody's got a price. There you go. Vince. Thank you, Russell. Thank you. I knew that Joe was hitting me. Get over this finish line together. And then do the next. Does he play Darlington County live? Like, Is it, Is Darlington County a sad song too? That sounds fun. Yeah. I think they all are. Yeah. That was fun as shit to sing along with. Russell, That song did not top the billboard charts. It only got up to number 25.

[1:07:00]Yeah. Technically Aaron, I believe that song's about financial problems. So yeah, I don't think any of these songs are positive. He'd be a good person to be in a relationship with though. Right? Like he'd come back and be like, I lost my job and I gambled all our money away and you'd feel good about it afterwards. Right. You'd be like, Okay, Well now I feel, The next song is about him working on the highway. The next song is about him working on the highway. Let's see. Wait, No, This is about when he was working in the danger zone. Dang it. I got it screwed up. I mean, Well, No, It is about the highway though. It's just going to the danger zone. This was, This was on episode three, Bob Dylan, Best songs about highways. That's when I still put the effort in to think of clever titles. I did read somewhere that he has all these songs about like blue collar workers. And he's never had a real job other than singing in his life. That's kind of funny, Isn't it? Yeah. He's been an artist. I mean, He's been a rock and roller since what he was like 16, 17 playing in a bar band. And somehow he's able to capture the zeitgeist,

[1:08:00]The feeling. Rosie, You asked if Darlington County's played in concert and it's been played 404 times by Bruce in concert. And it's been played five times this year. Okay. In the 2023. So full disclosure, We have tickets to see him in December at the chase. So I'm just, I'm just trying to get fired up. I'm trying to get fired up. I said it once already. You didn't hear me. Oh, Oh no. I'm sorry. 1984 played 62 times. Listen, Working on the highway. It's about a guy who works on the highway. I love the rockabilly kind of thing. Yeah. So it's a good title. So it's a good title for the song. I mean, To me, A song about working on the highway. What else are you going to call it? But here's the thing. You know what I don't get? I drive high on the highway. Yet I park on the flyby. Hmm. Okay. I screwed up that joke somewhere. All right. Next one. We also forgot to mention that the first song was the titular track.

[1:09:00]Didn't we? Gosh. The titular track right away. That's just like how I met my wife. Yeah. That last song, That last song, Deceptively upbeat about working on a chain gang. It's never like, Who's ever been excited to work on a chain gang? The fucking boss is right. What are we doing here? Bruce? It's amazing. I look terrible in horizontal stripes. I could not be. You couldn't. Couldn't do it. Oh. And the hat. You imagine how hot it would be, Rob. Oh, And you're just doing that. What a chain gang does. And I know what they do. Okay. To me, It's not, I know it's not making chain. It's not whatever he was doing in a big wheel. Keep on turning where he said he popped a lot of chain in Memphis. Is that what he was doing? Hmm. Does anybody know what that means in those lyrics? I pop a lot of chain in Memphis. I assume he's making chain, Right? I don't know. I don't know. Is it popping a lot of, I don't, I, I just like, If I, If I'm singing along to proud Mary, I'm full on making up the lyrics, Man. I don't know. I mean,

[1:10:00]I don't know what any of those lyrics are, But I will happily sing along. Listen to the lyrics. Now downbound trained Russell. You might ask yourself, Is this song a bummer? Is this song going to Bruce? Are you going to bum us out with this one? Yeah. The opening line is he works at a carwash where it always rains. The Linus type stuff. I think he says that this one, I once had a job, I once had a girl that everything goes south. It's crazy. Can you imagine working in a carwash where it's always raining? Nobody who gets their car washed in the rain. Even if you have one of those coupons where you can do so many a month, You can do it for free. You could go right in there. You're still not going to Matt. You got one of those coupons. Don't you, Man? Well, I've been doing the organ on this one. And the lyric is I pumped a lot of Tane T A N E. Yes. I bet he did that dog. Pumping that Tane. Ow, Ow, Ow, Down in new Orleans. So pumping a lot of gas. Yeah. Making that Tane speak to you. Nothing about a being nothing about working on a note.

[1:11:00]Part of the song was about getting laid off from a job. I was curious. Have you guys ever been fired or laid off from a job before? No, No. People say this out loud. Now the recession's like, Oh geez, The U S government's going to run out of money in a month. Let's just ask anybody if they've ever laid off. You didn't hear us earlier. We're no longer part of the U S we are sovereign citizens of Britain. We pledge allegiance to the kingdom of God. The King. My lead. We don't have to worry about these things in the colonies. Aaron. Man, Don't jinx anybody. It's Royal coronation day. Yeah. Yeah. Everything's fine. I all, We all took a day off from our jobs that are fine and we've never gotten fired from. What'd you get fired from Aaron? I never have. I didn't want to say that out loud. Wow. I assumed you got fired from Walmart. I don't know why, But I've always had that assumption in my head. They're just like, That would have been a really good. You were like, You know what? Unfortunately, We would have more power if we, If we, If we, If we, If we, If we, If we stood together, But what would we call that? That perfect combination of people to come together like fingers into a fist

[1:12:00]And strike a blow against the tyranny of corporations. Why? It would be the perfect union. Just like my friend Russell saw the head of when he went to Ford's theater Before he went to Mexico on a secret trip. Do you guys remember that when Aaron did work at Walmart, He used to sub in for the greeter named Ernest. That's right. Yep. Don't make me say it again. Ernest is my guy. Yep. Ernest is my guy. Listen, I'm just going to say it because I'm afraid accents now are going to get me canceled. Do you know what I mean? Vern. Okay. Not going to do the Ernest accent. Can't get canceled for the Ernest accent. By the way, One of the trailer moments in the movie is him going, They were like, This part of the movie is so good. We got to put it in the trailer. And I watched that trailer. I was like, Damn, Bob, I know my mom took me to the theater. Oh my God. I just had a core memory unlocked.

[1:13:00]I know my mom took me to see Ernest goes to camp in the theater. If my kid made me go see Ernest in the theater, I would find that hammer guy. I would hire him. Put me out. Let's go. I wish our listeners could see when Rob is hovering over the soundboard about to play the next song. And he will not. He won't play the next song because he's kind of really just core memories. I had a core memory I locked the other day. You want to know what it was? Yes. Yeah. That Frank, That Frank Thomas and Jeff Bagwell were had the same birthday. How do I know that? How do I know that? Is it possible that you were in Applebee's and on one side, You wouldn't believe who's sitting at that table. It's Frank Thomas. And you won't believe you guys won't believe who's sitting at the table on the other side of us. It's Jeff Bagwell. We were in Mexico. And all of a sudden they come out. You think that's how he's in Mexico? They come out. That's Jane. They have two flaming desserts and they are singing happy, Happy birthday. We happy,

[1:14:00]Happy to let's say happy. And half the restaurant said Jeff Bagwell and half the restaurant said Frank Thomas. And then Frank Thomas was like, Hey, Do you guys want to do like steroids, But they're not really steroids. They'll get you so hard. I'm going to advertise that for the rest of my life. I'm Frank Thomas for dry eugenics. What does he sell? It is kind of, It is kind of weird. They're like, Hey, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mash in the steroid era, But I didn't use them. And I'm a hall of favor, But now I'm promoting performance. It has so wild. It's weird, Right? Yeah. It's strange. That's like my Pete Rose gambling app. I have on my phone. It's terrible. It's not well run. That's one hit. He didn't get. All right. I'm on fire. God, I love this song. This is a great song. And so it's a really short song, Right? 240. Yeah. You got me. You got me on a kick. Now I'm looking at all the,

[1:15:00]You know, How many, How many times he's played it in concert. So he's played it 293 times, But it's been played 1,761 times by other artists, Mostly by Mumford and Sons, 94 times. Soccer mom, He's 68. And then, You know, So there's a lot of people that have covered this song. Do you think that now he still says little girl? Like, Like, Because he uses little girl an uncomfortable number of times on this album, Right? Do you think he's changed that at all? We're going to find out. I don't know. Hey, Aaron, Way to lead into, Way to lead into some high comedic, High comedic bits. Yeah. This is, This is a, Wow, You've led us to the orchard. It's right for picking. Let's go through this and pick out all the jokes we can make. I'm sorry. Well, I'm going to tell you one that a joke that I made, And I think it's really close. Oh, You guys. Okay. And that is that I bet Leonardo DiCaprio goes to this concert. And that's what he's got. His noise canceling headphones. It seems like little girl. And he's like, That's actually pretty smart. No, The show should have an arc, Right? You can't, People can't just be laughing their asses off the whole time.

[1:16:00]I don't think they've been laughing. They've been laughing their ass off the whole time. No surrender. All these songs are fun, Aren't they? Yes. They're anthems, Right? He did not want to include this song. And Stevie Vanzant made him. I could see happening. It was scary. I mean, It's crazy that like another album of this time would have had like two major anthems on it. And this thing is like, No surrenders is like a, It's like a deep cut of this album. I couldn't imagine him singing this album. Anywhere, But a giant stadium, Right? You could not go to a club in here. Born in the USA. You need to hear that. Well, That'd be fun to shit at the, In the top balcony of us bank field. Okay. You're saving some bucks. You're getting up there. Sure. It's going to be fine. They got to figure it out. They said next up. Okay. Just like when a cop is going casual Friday in Britain. Oh, I nailed this one. Bobby Jean.

[1:17:00]Thank you, Aaron. This is a goodbye to Steven Vanzant, Who is quitting the band after this. He said, I don't know. I got to go do this show on HBO. You know what? I think when I hear this music, I think of heartland rock. And I started thinking of like all these artists that we used to hear in the Eighties and like the early nineties that like, It was like all these songs about Americana, Like that straightforward music. And so I started thinking we can do a list about the greatest heartland rock Songs of all time. Wow. Oh, Wow. You know, Who didn't have the greatest heartland was Elvis. Came out on the toilet. The worst time. Yeah. The worst heartland. Oh, My heartlands. My heartlands. Not so good, Baby. We need a lot of deep fried sandwiches, Baby. So heartland rock developed in the seventies peaks in the eighties. This is kind of considered like the peak of heartland rock, Right? Okay. Russell, Can I ask a question? A clarifying question.

[1:18:00]Do you mind if we bring up songs that we think you might've either left off? Okay. You should 100%. All right. There's only, I can only do five. So I know you can only do five. But there's like a couple really good ones for this. And I'm not looking ahead. I'm just, I'm going to wait. Do you want me to say some songs, Man, To just text on another chain? Hey, And I'll say those songs too. And then Matt, When heartland restaurants still open, They were used to be in St. Paul. And then they moved to downtown Minneapolis. No, This is just the breaks. I do think it's just to see Rob's face. Even I, Even I think this is a too far of a tangent. I do these things just to see Rob's face. All right, Russell. All right. First song on the list is from 1976. This was his breakthrough. This is Bob Seger night moves. Oh my God. Such a good song. I love this song. Now, Matt, You might want to do a lyric lookup on this one too. High points all in our own. That's what I remember from this. And it always, It was one of the few songs that was erotic to me. This song was very erotic to me because of the high points.

[1:19:00]I was like, Oh, That's just what I'm looking for in a woman. He actually said tempo was influenced by the song jungle land by Springsteen. And some of the lyrics were influenced by him. Piano player, Roy Baton, The same guy who played with the street band and the boss. That's a piano player on this song. Yeah. This is such good piano. Oh, So good. What, What, What lyrics you looking for? It's like Steve. She had high points all on her own. It's right in the beginning of the song. I was a boy. It'll use a few pounds. Night moves, Moving all around tight pants, Points, Hardly renowned. What black haired beauty with big dark eyes. Yes. Now this points of her own sitting way up. Yes. That is a hot lyric. Is it not high points? Yeah. I'm sitting way up high. Nobody wants to know what Rob just did with his fingers. No, No. That's another one that when we're on YouTube, That's really going to be a lot better.

[1:20:00]I better bookmark that site as well. I have more to look into. All right. Next song. I love that song. It's from 1977. This is a Matt favorite. This is Tom Petty. The song is American girl. Oh, I'm glad you put it. I think Petty is like a top five, Like rock and roll Americana. Right. You're right. You throw him up there with Springsteen. And I mean, Wouldn't he be number two behind spring? Like if you're talking about a heartland rock, It's him and Springsteen to me. I've wanted to do something for a long time. We're going to all sing the background part that goes, Makes it last all night that you cannot not sing when you hear the song. Okay. Right. You are always singing the background. Nobody sings the Tom Petty part. Do we, Are we singing it in the Tom Petty crypt keeper voice or regular voice? No, We're just singing it together. Don't rustle. Are you trying to get me distracted? Please. Sorry. Are you going to, Are you going to cut us all together so that we all are singing this together? Yes, I promise. I'll do that. All right,

[1:21:00]Let's do. We'll last all day. Here we go again. Make it last all night. You know, It's the background. Are we doing it individually though? No, All at once. Here it comes. Nailed it. We really are friends. I think, I think you guys are right though. I think I was reading that it's Springsteen. And Tom Petty that are really credited with like keeping older rock and roll alive. Like when disco and punk and glam rock and all that really became prominent. Right. These guys kind of kept that type of music popular. That's my understanding. Yeah. Like suit and tie rock and roll. Questlove said that about too short one time. He was like too short. It's like a suit and tie rapper. Like he just did his thing and never changed. Yes. Aaron. Damn. You're so smart. I love it. Bruce Springsteen said when Tom Petty died, He said he always envied the guitar, Band of Tom Petty. We tried to push the guitars with the E street band, But it never quite worked with us. They were a real guitar band. The music was beautifully written and beautifully constructed. He had an ear for the classics, But Tom's attitude and personality,

[1:22:00]His vision gave it a modern edge, But there was kind of a cool homage to Tom Petty, Right? Can you think of a time where Tom Petty was modern? Can you think of a single time in your life? I'm the grip keeper. I'm the grip keeper. That's what the grip keeper would say to Russell. You nailed it. You've been thinking of bits. I think I'm confusing the grip keeper and the leprechaun. No, I'll give you a hint. One of them was in the hood. Okay. It's like how the big bopper voice and the Elvis voice tend to work together. All right. You know what? I'm going to say when he, His, When his wildflowers album came out, That was, And he was, That was good. You know, That was a pretty, You know, That was a pretty modern album for the time. I think it was kind of a throwback to at the same time. Right? Like it was kind of a, I, I love that album. I do. I love that. I love that whole thing. I think it's one of my favorite. Yeah. It's mad. I had to decide the creeper Russell. It's me. The crypt keeper. You might think I'm a leprechaun. Well, Instead of a pot of gold,

[1:23:00]It's a pot of dye because you're getting old. That one is too close. 128. We're at one. Next song on the list is from 1984. This is one of our favorite Canucks. Brian Adams, The summer of 69. This is Heartland Rock, Right? I hate it when people have one guy's and then two guys names. You don't like it. Brian Adams. People with two first names. You can't trust. Yeah, But no, No, Wait a minute though. Brian Adams doesn't have two first names. He's got two. He's got a first name. And then the last name is two guys. Oh, Because it's Brian Adams. Nobody's named Adams. So it's not two first name. So it's really three guys. Yeah. Three guys. Two away from a burger chain. Okay. Brian Adams. Here we go. Let's see. That was a good joke. Thank you. I think I bought this on my cassette. Yes, You should have. Aaron's like, God damn, I miss the summer of 69. Let me tell you guys about when I had to sing everything I do.

[1:24:00]I do it for you at a wedding. That's Robin Hood song. Yes. Yeah. That's actually pretty. I like it. How do you do? How have you not said, Aaron? Guess what? You're actually going to jail for not telling us this earlier. This should have been podcast episode one. Did you have to sing the whole thing where you got really into that? I'm going to die for you. That's the whole thing. That high point? Yeah. Aaron, Before you tell it. You know, It's true. Look into my eyes. You see. Do it. What do you mean to me? All right. So search your heart. Search your soul. And when you find me there, You'll search no more. It was on the same. Yeah, This was on the same album. Don't tell me. Oh, It's not what's trying for me. I mean, It's hard to see who this is. It is. It was a six 27.

[1:25:00]That's a long who didn't fumble with the bra. Listen to this song. You know what I mean? This is an ultimate bra fumbler. So it's a broth. When this song was out, Bras were a huge mystery. There's hooks. There's loops, But it's not Velcro. Why don't they just make a Velcro? It'd be so much easier. And you're like, Wait, You're like, Wait, I almost got it. I almost got it. I almost got it. We got to get, Can I just do it? A fumbler trending on some sort of book face or something. You know, You're a bra fumbler. When you say, Can I just go up? Like, Can you just like, We're taking off a uniform at the end of the game with the bra. What would happen if we just Google bra fumbler? Oh my God. The number one person is Mark Sanchez. Did you mean broad Tumblr? No, I meant broad Tumblr. Broad Tumblr. Wait a minute. I did not do, I did not do a good job singing this, But I sang it with a cassette accompaniment. And this was at a wedding of this. This wedding was the summer after I graduated high school.

[1:26:00]Summer. The groom, The groom was a year older than me. The bride was a year younger than I. So this was one of those, Like, Are they still together? They met on the, They met at the port-a-potty at the gas station on route 61. They've been in love ever since. I had to give permission to let the young lady get married. I think they might still be married. I probably have like six kids. Child brides. Child bride is like, Hey, Can I perform at this wedding of a child bride? Do very well. Hey, Aaron, Do you have like a spreadsheet where you go back and you keep track of Like the marital success of the weddings you sang at? No, I don't. I don't know. I've never done that. No, That's, That's a good, That'd be a good, That'd be an interesting exercise. I don't know. There's one that I'm never sure. There's at least, At least one where I'm never sure how it's going. Depends on how the dog's doing that particular night. Aaron, Not great. Well, Too bad. Aaron was on the secret sheet. You, You won't get, You're invited to Mexico. If that was an Excel spreadsheet, Aaron, I would color it in with the light red right now.

[1:27:00]It's getting close. It's getting close. Trending. Yeah. You shouldn't use red in case people are colorblind. You should use different color. Conditional four banding, Rob. Okay. I'll use green. Easy. Next song on the list is from 1985. This guy was called the poor man Springsteen. It's John Mellencamp. There were a lot of songs to pick from, But I picked my favorite. I picked small town. Wait a minute. Do I have small town? I don't think I have it. Oh, Fuck. Who cares? No, No, That was the one that I was going to say. What one did I give you, Rob, Jack and Diane? No, I don't know. I didn't do anything. I, I, I didn't have any. Yeah. I didn't see it on your list, Russell. And I was going to say, Boy, Anything by Mellencamp. Russell, You know what it is? I was looking for John Cougar Mellencamp. That's my bad. And I was looking for John Cougar after that. You know what I mean? No, Not John Mellencamp. I was looking for John Cougar. Dang it. Man, I checked the Gmail. I did. I sent it to Rob. He must've been too busy on,

[1:28:00]On the side chain. There was like a 1988 NBA. Yes. That's why I like video. And this was with, With, Bill, Larry Bird, Larry Bird. Awesome. This is such a good song, Russell. This is so good. What's what do you think Mellencamp song? Would you guys have picked? Well, I would have picked this one, But he's got like 17,000. Big house in the USA. Jack and Diane, Right? Can I tell you, Can I tell you my favorite? And can I tell you my favorite, Song on a chili dog outside the taste of free? I've always wondered who, Which one of them was sucking the chili dog though. Can I show you my favorite song? Yeah. And you're going to guess why I love this video so much. Now this video came out in 94. So Rob is better, But Rob is 14. Okay. So I just want you to picture why would Rob be into this video when he's 14? This is John Cougar, Mellencamp and Michelle DiCello. Wild. All right there. That I would say is a top five, But in my, That, That was a core memory. We just unlocked and guess who it is.

[1:29:00]Frank Thomas is Jeff Bagwell. No, I'm going to pass out Russell. Jeff paper Bagwell. Back, Back, Back, Back, Back, Back, Back. Go on. Please don't do this to me. I might die. Please. At mercy Russell. He's got hemorrhoids. You can't, You can't make him laugh this hard. Don't say Frank Thomas out of the blue anymore. But I, I don't want to say somebody's name, Especially whose underwear I just saw in a video. You say Frank Thomas, This is another RuPaul situation. This is a RuPaul Love Shack situation. Oh my gosh. All right. So it is, It is the teacher from Billy Madison. I think that Veronica Vaughn, It is Veronica Vaughn getting dressed to a rocking song there. Therefore, That is my favorite John Cougar Mellencamp song.

[1:30:00]Veronica Vaughn, I believe was married to Pete Sampras. Look at me, Mr. Sports guy today. I did read that he was younger than Springsteen and Mellencamp was really Influenced by him, Obviously. Right. And he said Springsteen put down a big footprint and he said, Here, Fill it in. So that was what he was always trying to do is follow after the boss. Right. And they actually played together. They closed out the rock and roll hall of fame ceremony a few years Together. They played together. I think it was one of the first times they'd ever played together. So that's pretty cool too. Wow. And actually I think, He just recorded a new album and the boss played three songs with Them on Mellencamp's new album. By the way, Mellencamp 70 years old. That's fucking old. 70 years. I'm going to ask you a question. Yeah. Are any of John Mellencamp's new songs about getting Gasms because that's what I'm listening to. Old guys thing. I also want to be thinking about them thinking about orgasms. Yes. Listen, Old guy orgasms, You know, They're coming. You don't want to think about it right now. Springsteen is 73.

[1:31:00]Nice. Old Bruce. All right. Let's go. Last song on my list is the first Significant female artist to be in the heartland rock genre. It's Melissa, Melissa Etheridge. And my favorite song of hers has come to my window. So that's rocks. You know, She's married to who it is. Definitely not the big hurt. Who played the Bamba? Richie balance diamond Phillips, Lou diamond. Phillips is ex-wife left him to marry Melissa. That's rich. She's a pretty rock. And I'm hard to argue. Bad ass. Yeah. I would be like what? No young guns. Three. See ya. I was reading, She w she grew up in Kansas. It was listening to this rock and roll station. And she heard born to run, Came on the radio. And she said, This was it. This was the moment I got hooked on music. And she said, Bruce Springsteen is the artist she wanted to be. She wanted to write songs that make people feel the way that Springsteen made her feel. And so she actually performed at the Kennedy center honors did have Springsteen song.

[1:32:00]And I don't know if you guys remember this. I actually gave the song to Rob. She did funder road with Springsteen on MTV, Unplugged and talked about how big Springsteen was an influence on her. And then just listen to this song. It almost gives you a chills. It's really cool. That's beautiful. Isn't it? That's right. Great song. So those were, I had for the, The all time Heartland rock songs, Matt, What did I miss? No, You didn't. You, I, I didn't think you had a melon camp on the list. And I was going to say, If you don't have small, Town and or Jack and Diane, I mean, Those are like the quintessential, I think eighties, Small town, Art land, America song. I would have put a rush on there. Probably. But that's just me. Listen, Russell, You know what are we talking about? We're about sacks. Yeah. Russell, What was that last song called under road?

[1:33:00]I liked that when Garth Brooks did it under road. Next one. I'm going down this got up to number nine on the charts. Only Russell, Not one of the top songs, Not a parody song tonight. You guys were shocked by that. I know he only sings this man. Speaking of set list, Look this one up. He only sings this in 7% of his set list. It's the one intense chance. It's like winning the lotto to hear the song live vampire. We can just saying it in concert 38 times. I don't know if I'd like to hear it by trampled by turtles. I'm so good. The concert three times next. I'm going to have to clean this one up the loose glory days. Is this it? The number one, Number five, Not the number one single off this. Wow. I, It's a good video. Great to enjoy this song a lot more like in my thirties,

[1:34:00]Even my late twenties. It felt fun to listen to glory days. It's kind of sad. Your glory days. Yeah. Yeah. It gets a little real now, Doesn't it? Yeah. You're like, I've never like every day I get older, Slower, Fatter, Dumber. Song gets more and more depressing. It was like, I meet your old baseball buddy. Great. Well, Then you meet the gal who used to be really hot and she's divorced. And okay, Great. And then now, Well, But geez, My dad got fired from the, Oh man, In your head that you think about when you hear the song. Cause I do. I 100%. I have a bar that I'm walking out of when my friend walks in. Yeah. For me, It's Westerns in Minneapolis, But it's not there anymore. So there you go. You know what it is for me? It's roosters. I swear to God, It is roosters. I, For me, It'd probably be getting, It'd be getting nachos and two for ones at hula hands. Oh, That's a good one too. Those are my, Those are my bar glory days. Oh yeah, That's true. Next up an album.

[1:35:00]It almost didn't make the cut. Spring things. Springsteen thought it was way too pop for the album, But it turned out to be his highest charting single on the album. This is it's dancing in the dark, Dancing in the dark. It's probably cause this, There's like, This is like, It feels more like a techno song, Right? There's a synthesizer on it. Yeah. I think he wrote this one with a drum machine and then rerecorded it, But this is a very, I mean, He's not only doing eighties rock Russell, He's doing like future dance music. I mean, It's sort of new wavy, Right? This is what, From 84. You know what? I should've, I should've guessed it was number one because a band we know covered it. It was the Muppets. The Muppets covered this song in episode two 11 of Muppets tonight. Now, You know, Is Ms. Piggy going to be Cordy Cox? Yes. Yes. Right.

[1:36:00]Yeah. Oh, Then she, They can't get her on stage. Is that the joke? There was also a Sesame street version of born to add, But we've never done Sesame street. We're a Muppets podcast. Oh my God. We cannot, We can't get her on stage. Is that the joke? There was also a Sesame street version of born to add, But we've never done Sesame street. We're a Muppets podcast. Oh my God. We cannot, We cannot, We cannot branch out to any more bits. Russell. We have too many bits to begin with. We've got one more bit coming on this last song. Oh, Great. Next up my hometown. Number six on the hot 100. It's about freehold, New Jersey. The changes he saw. I'm mad. I'd say this is a good ender. The whole album is so fast and has so much tempo. And then this is so slow, But maybe that's perfect. I don't know. You know, He's remember he's big on the four corners. We've talked about a killer. He ends. He's a killer. He's a killer. He's a killer. He's a killer. He's a killer. He's a killer. He ends and begins. Everything crushes. I don't know. What do you, What do you guys think of this is the endless listen to this album born in the USA. That's the opener side one closer side one. I'm on fire opens with no surrender inside two ends with this inside too.

[1:37:00]I think it's a perfect for it makes you want to hear the album again. Like, It does with you. And it makes you want to start it. I think, I think I read that they recorded between this and then the Nebra ultimately was the Nebraska album, Like 80 songs during the session. And they got essentially The two albums out of it. Writing 80 goddamn songs For two albums. Like you're able to craft it. Can you imagine If maybe you've written 120 parody songs every week And almost nobody Has commented on it ever? Including a song That had ended With the words Mutual masturbation. That guy from Chicago called. He probably likes the songs. He didn't say it. If you notice, He did not say it. Okay? Noticeably abstained from voting. Rob, Would you say like Mutual masturbation Is a team effort? Like a super group Would be required to do that? I would definitely say It's like a super group Because mostly I'm thinking About Roy Orbison. Well, in 2016, There was another super group And they played at a fundraiser

[1:38:00]For the Boys and Girls Club. The super group was Chris Martin from Coldplay, Chad Smith from the Chili Peppers, Jacob Dillon from the Wallflowers, Roy Baton from the E Street Band, And Beck. And they played Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd, Surfing in the USA, By the Beach Boys, And My Hometown by the Boss. This is my favorite Beck recordings that Russell finds. It's like where it was recorded By a guy. This was recorded by a guy On the toilet next door Listening to this concert Like through the wall. When you watch it, It looks like it's played In someone's backyard. So when it comes to Mutual masturbation With super groups, Who did it better? Oh, God. Beck did it better. Bringing y'all back home. All right. Let's get into it. Jacob Dillon, Wallflowers, 501 on the list. Can't believe they didn't make it. That album is good. What's it? One Headlight? Was that the album Or what is it? Yeah. That's not on One Headlight? No, it's called Such a great album.

[1:39:00]It is good. Guys, I think about that album. I listen to that album All the time When I had a good friend of mine In high school leave And I never saw him again. Dan Gravedal, where are you? And I get sad. I still, when I think about it, I'm 42 years old. Maybe he's listening. Dan Gravedal, I saw him on a plane recently. Maybe he lives in Chicago. Could not figure out the screen. Coming out of the handle. Couldn't do it. If somebody knows, What is it, Dan Gravedal? Somebody knows Dan Gravedal out there. Tell him to listen to the podcast. I'm worried about him Because he showed up at my place And he had a bag And I was full of Trulies and belts. So, I don't know. Listen, let's get into The rating system. Let's get into the rating system. If you remember, That's a joke from this episode. This week? Yeah. Russell, in your write-up, Can you write down Every joke bit we did This episode? Thank you. Please write that all down. Okay. All right. So, is this album, Born in the USA, If this album deserves To be higher Than 143? Okay. Is this above Born to Run? Is this above some of his others? [100:00] Okay. [100:00] So influential. [100:01] Such a powerful one. [100:03] Should we have listened

[1:40:00]to all these other albums? [100:05] This would be a rolling bone. [100:08] It shouldn't have been this far on the list. [100:09] It should be a lower number, which is sooner on the podcast. [100:12] If this album should be farther back, not as good. [100:15] Hey, what about Nebraska? [100:16] Hey, we got to hear that still. [100:18] This album would be rolling, groan. [100:21] You didn't like it. [100:21] Or is this a rolling well-toned? [100:23] It is perfect. [100:24] Okay. [100:25] Just like the synth and the drums at the beginning. [100:27] And I wrapped it around and I nailed it. [100:29] Russell, what do you think? [100:29] Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling it groan? [100:32] Rob, you mind if I unwrap that belt quick and take a drink of my citrus squeeze just so? [100:37] You know, this is what's making the podcast long, actually. [100:39] It's like this. [100:40] I think for me, I really love this album. [100:42] Not everything is a joke. [100:43] I can't imagine like being in my car and one of these songs come on and I'm like, nope. [100:47] And I track it. [100:48] I just can't see that ever happening. [100:49] This album has just got bangers all over. [100:51] There's commercial hits all over it. [100:53] Rob's saying like, what's the number one hit? [100:55] I could have guessed seven or eight of these songs. [100:57] So I really love this album. [100:59] Even the end,

[1:41:00]I think Aaron put it really well. [101:01] The last song makes you want to listen to it again and I want to listen to this again. [101:05] So for me, I'm going to say it's rolling bone. [101:07] I think it should be way higher on the list. [101:08] This might be my favorite. [101:10] We'd have to go back and talk about all the Springsteen albums we've done, but this has got crushers all over it. [101:16] Rolling bone, it should be higher on the list. [101:18] Love it. [101:18] Matt, what do you think? [101:19] Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling grown? [101:22] Much the same sentiments as Russell. [101:24] I think it's rolling boned. [101:27] We often talk about the influence that an album has. [101:30] I think that's got that. [101:31] You've got number one hits, it's got that. [101:34] It's got number of albums sold. [101:35] It's got basically everything that we're talking about. [101:42] And so I think absolutely it should at least be in the top 100. [101:46] So rolling boned. [101:47] Rosie, what do you think? [101:48] Well-toned? [101:48] Rolling boned? [101:49] Rolling boned? [101:49] Or rolling grown? [101:51] Great music. [101:52] The Boss is unimpeachable. [101:53] I think the songwriting in a way is tighter than what it is on Darkness on the Edge of Town, but I personally prefer Darkness. [102:01] And I'm wondering,

[1:42:00]we haven't heard Tom Petty yet, but that's not necessarily Bruce's fault. [102:07] I'm going to give this one a rolling well-toned. [102:10] Boy, Aaron coming up with a nickname not many people use for Springsteen, the Bruce. [102:14] Well-toned like his butt on that iconic album cover, which should also be considered in this being a great album, right? [102:20] An all-time cover. [102:22] All-time cover. [102:23] Good opener, good cover. [102:24] I mean, it's got everything. [102:25] Did you hear why Springsteen said he chose the butt? [102:27] Why? [102:27] He said the butt looked better than my face, so he went with the butt. [102:30] I was like, damn. [102:32] I was like, God, you're quick too. [102:33] He's good looking, great singer, funny, charming. [102:35] What a catch. [102:36] God. [102:37] Rob, that's what you should say when your family comes back and you're naked in the kitchen next time. [102:42] At least it wasn't my face on the catch. [102:44] Yeah, at least it wasn't my face. [102:45] Why does it smell like tomb in here? [102:47] So much garlic. [102:48] And that was also from this episode, by the way. [102:50] Or if you're naked with your face on the couch, then they're really getting it. [102:54] Darren, would you admit that you were eating shawarma or would you tell your wife that you were sitting naked on the couch and that's why it smells off? [103:02] I would blame the shawarma. [103:03] I got hired by this

[1:43:00]Models Over 40 company and they told me to get naked and take pictures with my webcam. [103:11] Upload them to the site? [103:12] I don't know. [103:13] That's strange. [103:15] They said they'd pay, but it hasn't hit the Venmo account yet. [103:17] My dryer's working fine. [103:19] I don't think I need to stick my head in this thing. [103:21] All right. [103:23] Maybe that's why I got that hemorrhoid ad. [103:25] All right. [103:25] So the answer, unfortunately, you guys are all incorrect. [103:28] The answer is it's rolling unbeknown because this song will, Born in the USA will continue to get played by dumb political candidates who don't realize what the song is about. [103:38] And I will point it out to people every time and feel really smart about it and actually be attractive to a lot of sapiosexuals out there. [103:45] Next up. [103:47] Okay. [103:47] And guys, partying is such sweet sorrow. [103:50] You know what I mean? [103:50] Like if this episode could go just a little longer, I think it'd be good, but I bet we got to move on. [103:54] Next up. [103:56] We decide to find out if the problem was Nico. [103:59] It's the Velvet Underground. [104:01] We know the answer. [104:03] Yeah. [104:03] Oh, no. [104:05] That is not the right button. [104:07] Something's switched. [104:08] Somebody switched those. [104:09] The honky tonk man in the theme. [104:13] Wow. [104:13] We got a honky tonk man

[1:44:00]reference in this episode too. [104:15] Can't believe it. [104:16] Oh, it's all there. [104:17] Russell, how many post jokes do you have written down? [104:20] I've got at least three. [104:21] I've got the word. [104:23] Zeitgeist. [104:23] I was going to try to do a side text chain and get people to text you, but I was focused on the podcast unlike you earlier. [104:29] And I already used my citrus mango squeeze one. [104:32] So you might have to be you this time. [104:34] Okay. [104:34] Imagine this in a intercom voice. [104:36] Okay. [104:38] This is Thick Dick requesting a flyby. [104:41] Requesting a flyby. [104:43] What was it? [104:44] Your beat squat? [104:46] What was the beat? [104:47] Beat suite. [104:48] The beat suite. [104:49] Aaron, what would they say to him if he did request a flyby? [104:53] If Thick Dick wanted to fly by? [104:53] Let's try this again, Aaron. [104:54] This is our improv school again, right? [104:56] Oh, okay. [104:56] Sure. [104:56] Yeah. [104:57] This is Thick Dick requesting a flyby. [104:59] Requesting a flyby. [105:01] Negative Thick Dick. [105:02] The pattern is full. [105:03] The pattern is full. [105:06] And all of a sudden,

[1:45:00]who's this visiting the airport being wheeled in? [105:11] It's Colonel Rob. [105:13] He's fumbling with a bra. [105:18] Do you think Tom Cruise fumbled with the bra during that sex scene when he licked your face? [105:23] Oh. [105:24] For sure. [105:25] Yes. [105:26] There's no way. [105:26] I guarantee there's no way Tom Cruise is a slick bra taker. [105:31] I bet he fumbles. [105:32] He fumbled. [105:33] Yeah, I bet he fumbled. [105:34] I mean, did you guys know some bras are like, they have like four to five snaps. [105:37] Like, it's going crazy over here. [105:40] They shouldn't have played this when you got your first one successfully unhooked. [105:43] Right, Rob? [105:44] Yes, right. [105:46] Like, you're high-fiving the ice man at everyone afterwards? [105:49] It's this one and then the THX noise right away. [105:52] Hey. [105:52] Whoa. [105:53] Hey. [105:54] Your bra was dangerous, unsafe, and flew in the face of all regulations. [106:01] And it was an honor

[1:46:00]to fumble you. [106:04] That's right. [106:04] I am dangerous. [106:08] Fumble me anytime. [106:10] Bullshit. [106:10] Oh, that's me. [106:12] I'll fumble you. [106:12] And don't worry. [106:13] I'm going to be in the second Top Gun movie, but it's actually going to be depressing when you see me ice man. [106:17] Oh, no. [106:18] It's going to bum everybody out. [106:20] Oh, my God. [106:21] They're going to act like it's actually cool, but it's actually a bummer. [106:26] I, Dave, will salute you. [106:28] On this royal coronation day, we'll see you next time.