The Smiths: The Queen is Dead (1986)

[0:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 113. 113. From 1986. This is The Queen is Dead by The Smiths. And I can tell you at this moment... What? The Queen is Dead? I can tell you at this moment, there has never been a harder album to research than this one. This is almost impossible. You know what's been a real bummer about The Queen dying and what didn't happen, what happened in the movies? What's that? In the movies, the whole royal family died and John Goodman became King Ralph. Yes, King Ralph. You guys remember King Ralph? Yes. I told my son that story as a bedtime story the other night. I'm fully out of ideas for bedtime stories and I just told him the plot of King Ralph as a bedtime story. He liked it. Dude. Dude.

[1:00]When the Queen did die, I posted on Facebook, can't believe the Queen died taking a photo and all of her relatives also got electrocuted. And I got like two likes and I was like, yes, these guys know King Ralph. The only guy in the world who could be the King and Babe Ruth in back-to-back movies, right? I forgot he was Babe Ruth in a movie too. Wow. Listen, one of the things about this... One of the things about this podcast that always amazes me, guys, is that we always seem to find a running joke, okay? And I'm always thinking to myself, what would happen to an episode if we didn't find that? And then we did that Janet Jackson episode two weeks ago and it turns out it wasn't that bad. We still survived. We couldn't quite find it. But this is one of the biggest things in the podcast is finding a bit. So I've written a song, okay? I've heard that there's a song playing on the radio that's about that very topic. This is weird, guys. It's all collapsing on itself. Let's listen to it right now.

[2:00]What will be the running joke tonight? Will it be too dirty with some beeps or is it about a flight? Will we take it too far? Yes. And then we have to edit whole chunks because we... Talk about a sex movie. Imagine she gets in between the mattress and the fox spring. What will be the running joke tonight? Well, if we don't have one, I don't even know if we can survive. Yeah, and we'll say something bizarre. And then we can all make fun. And then I will have to apologize for things I've said before. It's not even a joke here.

[3:00]It's all the truth. So I'm counting on you, Russ. Find a running bit for us. Yes. You need to decide and then I'll take it over the line. If it gets a few cheap yucks. If I start to cuss. So keep this in your mind. We need to find the bit. The repeating bit tonight. The repeating bit. Repeating bit tonight. The repeating bit tonight. Like Aaron loves feet. We could bring back the part. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time. That's a good thing. To repeat forever. Look it up online. So it turns out on that one I forgot to do the DJ drop before it. I don't know. I don't know what I said.

[4:00]Whoops. I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Back to the better. There is a bit that'll never get old. There is a bit that'll never get old. I remember when Matt said one of the dumbest things he's ever said in his whole life. And he goes, I don't think that foot stuff is very funny. And I was like, you just don't get it. Everyone thinks it's funny. I think he said it was played. I think he had played out at that point. Well, we all make mistakes and are totally wrong sometimes. Listen. I think that was by. Like the third Jody Mitchell album. I legit think that was 114 episodes ago. Oh, now you guys are going to tell me that when I play blue, that's not very funny either. Because I get a lot of texts about that too. Holy shit. When that remake came out, I got so many. Listen, I've got three guys here who we're going to what? We're going to get a little sad with the Smiths. So we're not going to lie. This is not going to be a fun episode. We're going to be bummed out. And that's the way Morrissey would like it. Honestly, he'd be excited about that. I've got Russell in Minnesota. Russell, how are you doing tonight? Frankly, Rob. Since you ask, you're a flatulent pain in my arse.

[5:00]I don't mean to be rude. Still, I must speak frankly, Mr. Skanky. Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing tonight? Good. We're doing band from Manchester, England, right? So I figured this is good. Just some random band. It's got some random songs. You might as well start assigning them to the Minnesota Loons that we either do goals on, right? Oh, yeah. Might as well. Just an English band. Let's just randomly make a goal song out of it. So I'm excited. We'll pick it out later, okay? All right. Queen is dead. Yes. The Vikings score a touchdown. And it's just like. It's really not. No connection to us at all or anything. They're English. So we might as well just. It's so good. Do it. It's like, oh, it's a song about dirt getting thrown on me. Again, there's like four songs in this album about dirt getting thrown on them. I've got Aaron in California, actually. And Aaron is. He's realizing that life is depressing because when his kid turns 18, getting him, buying

[6:00]Him extra iCloud storage is actually going to be a pretty sweet gift. He's going to enjoy that quite a bit. So that's your life now. Aaron, how are you doing? Wow. That's that's too real. I mean, if a double becker bus crashes into us to die by your side, it'd be a heavenly Way to die. So let's talk about this. Oh, it's just a single level bus. Aaron's like, fuck. I was hoping it was a little bigger. It's true, though, isn't it? Like. Listen, let's get into our voicemail. Oh, we got a voicemail. A Bex or a voicemail? It is a Bex. How do you get it? How do you send a Bex? I forgot. Ah, 218. No, wait. 802-277-BECK. That's 802-277-BECK. Don't try to type in every 218 number. Eventually hit maybe somebody with a voice you would recognize. Oh, yeah. One of your dumb shit listeners here. Also part of the show. The complimentary movie door group.

[7:00]A full-bodied red with a fruity finish sounds like Rob after too many figs. The fact that you guys had fucked me like Clubber Lang. And it's greater than Ben Roth. Less burgers, dick in the same episode as pure genius. Keep up the great ish work. Lastly, radio head still sucks. So there we go. That collar. First of all, said ish work. Fruity finish. Something about me eating too many figs, which would never happen because I would never eat a fig. Gross. I did purchase fig. I did purchase fig Newtons at the airport on my flight back from last week. How were they? Russell, I'm serious. You need. Do you need some money? I can loan you some money. They were good. You're buying fig Newtons at the airport. We did an alarm go off and they were like, wow, we've been waiting since 1986 for somebody To buy the fig. They sold a fig Newton. Russell, they're not good. They're not cookies. I don't know if you're aware of this. There was an ad campaign that highlighted. I'm team Russell. On this one, Russell, I'm team Russell.

[8:00]I'll eat some fig Newtons any day. I think they're good. Gross fig. I remember that the listener was proud. We got Ben Roethlisberger and the clubber laying into the same episode, huh? I mean, that's got to make you feel good about yourself, doesn't it? This is what we're accomplishing. That's the thing is that people are always like, oh, you should do this with the podcast And do this and do that. No, I want somebody who talks about Ben listens to us talking about Ben Roethlisberger's gray Penis, which by the way, is in the court document illegally. It's a real thing. And clubber laying. And then saying, this is good. I like this enough where they send a message. That's our real audience. Now, if only that guy could like tell somebody about it, but they can't because they're also The audience for this dumb podcast. So they're too embarrassed to admit. They probably don't have any friends. Yeah, exactly. They can't admit that you can't be like, hey, what podcast you listen to? Oh, listen to this one. And immediately we're talking about Ben Roethlisberger's gray dick again. And actually the second episode in a row we recorded tonight where we've talked, started Talking with gray dicks. It doesn't shock you that guy who's. Into this part of the comedy portion of the podcast was also part of the complimentary

[9:00]Movie group when he was a kid. Absolutely not. Because when I got that text, I saw his text from the last two years and half of them were Just pictures of his feet. So literally this is our super fan. We should be sucking up to complimentary movie guy. He needs to get some more devices and download it on all of his different streaming services. But other than that, I love the guy. I think it's great. The Fig Newton ad campaign. I want to get back to that. First of all, Fig Newtons are disgusting. You're wrong, Aaron. Or do you think? Do you think they're good? I haven't had one for many years. Thank you. End of story. Don't, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't be nice. That's it. That's done. Their ad campaign where they were like, it's not a cookie. It's a Fig Newton was the most confusing ad campaign to me because I was like, who would Want something that's not a cookie? That's crazy, right? Like if you said, oh, I don't want that. It's a cookie. Like everybody wants a cookie over anything else. But I think there's a, there's a chance a kid could make an argument that a Fig Newton is healthier than a cookie. No, it's not. But it's not a cookie.

[10:00]Like a cookie is a pure dessert thing where I think you could argue a Fig Newton might Not be considered a dessert. What do you think, Matt? That's the whole argument, right? Like you would say, I'm going to have a cookie tonight, right? And you're like, no, I guess I'm not having my cookie and I'm having my Fig Newton. So it's kind of like I have an ice cream or having Sherbert or Whatever it is it's not ice cream. Sherbert. Is that what that ad was? Is that you should eat more Fig Newtons because they're not cookies. Yeah. You don't have to feel bad about it. They're not cookies. So it's not like you're having a sleeve of Oreos or anything. You just want your Fig Newtons. This podcast has made me realize I might've just been a dumb kid. Like that might be, has that ever occurred to you that maybe you were just dumb? All this stuff you didn't understand. Like Rob, if you look around the room and you can't figure out who's the dumbest, It's probably you. It's probably you were the guy who called it and left that last voicemail. Yeah, really? We're making this trash, but you're listening to an idiot. I generally realize. I'm the dumbest one.

[11:00]When I look at my computer and it's 1130 on a Sunday night and I'm starting to Record a second podcast. No, this is good. When you listen back to this podcast, you'd be like, I think I was just a dumb middle-aged guy. When you're 80 years old and you're listening, I think I might've been dumb at that time. There's no way that fricking 70 year olds are smarter than we are right now. We're at the peak. We really are. I think we're at the peak. I mean, that's fucking half of Congress. I would hope they're smarter than they're not, but yeah. Let me ask you this, Russell. Do you feel like you're getting smarter? Do you feel like you're getting smarter every day from here on out? Like you're learning from your mistakes? I think I'm smarter than I was three years ago, but it's hard to know three years from Now if I'll be smarter or dumber. I think there's a chance I'll be dumber. You know what change I've made is that I've just taken all the mistakes I make and I just Go, well, it's too late to change now. And I just keep doing them. Like I'm not changing anything, not trying to get any better at anything. I'm just like, yep, this is good. This is my life now. This is who I am. Like you can't fix it at work. You know what? My bit is at work. I'm the guy who doesn't read emails very well.

[12:00]And like I said, I got rewarded for that. Everybody like explained stuff to me and I'm just like, yeah, I'm rolling with It now that my mistakes are now my personality. So like, let's see. That's where I think, like I was going to say, I feel like I'm getting wiser, maybe Not so much smarter. Like Rob that's a wise move to just do that with your emails. Yeah. But the dumbest thing I do on a weekly basis is stay up extremely late talking to you guys Doing this podcast. That is one of the dumbest things I do in my life. Well, it's fucked too, because like when you're younger, if you stay up late, it's like, oh, You're cranky the next day. You're tired. When your guys are age, it's like, oh, this increases your risk for heart issues. It's like, well, Sarah and I went out for our anniversary. We went out in the town for our anniversary last night and I legit was like getting tired And I'm like, oh geez, I wonder what time it is. It looked down. It was like eight, 17. I'm like, good God, we are fucking old. But you made it out. You were out. You were out. We got messages from you as late as what?

[13:00]Yeah, we were all late. We made a night of it. Went to Russell's pinball bar, which was hop in, played a little paper boy, played a little Paper boy. Yeah. They have the arcade game paper boy. It was awesome. Yeah, that's a great one. What else did you play? Not to ban paper boy, which Rob is playing over the top of this. No, no, no. Something about a ditty, right? Ditty, ditty. If you want to, because damn, I can see the arcade game. Now you got to try to line up my voice with the song. The only reason I say that about paper boy is I used to play paper boy and Nintendo all The time and it was the hardest fucking game. It was so hard that I was watching tick tock the other day and said, have you ever seen The end of paper boy? And I was like, oh, hell yeah, this is what tick tock is for. And I just watched like 30 seconds to the end of the game paper boy because I had never Ever seen it before. That paper boy song. That guy was not from Minnesota, was he? But that was a Minnesota hit. Like, I didn't know that song until I lived in Minnesota and everyone, everybody in Minnesota Knows that song. I don't know.

[14:00]This is calm. Come on. Little nine deuce. Another fat track. This is a great song. We're going to get, we should pull this up now. We should do a video. We should do a video breakdown. I'm going to keep talking about the video game. I got to be honest. I never owned paper boy on Nintendo. You guys know I'm a judger. I kind of always judge the kids who had paper boy as a Nintendo game. I thought that was a weak game. Like you should be playing tech mobile. There's so many better games than paper boy. I was never a, do you have paper boy at your house for Nintendo? Get the fuck out. I don't know. I don't know. I'm out. Yes. This is a jam. Such a jam. I have never heard this in my life. He's from San Diego, California. Moved later, moved to Oakland. Oh, really? It's from San Diego. Not a lot of rappers from San Diego. Associate acts for R. Kelly, Eazy-E and Rhythm D. Wow. Yeah, this was 1990. Everybody in Minnesota knew that one.

[15:00]And I didn't, I didn't hear it in Iowa. Such a jam. What else did you play, Matt? So you played paper boy? Did you play pinball or what else? I played a little Simpsons because Sarah used to play that with her, With her stepdad back in the day. And I think I caught a glitch. I was playing with Maggie who has like a jump rope or something. Yeah. Every time I die, I still have four. It still said four up to the point where I literally just walked away from Machines. I'm like, I'm sick of playing this. I'm sick of playing this thing. And so just left it. So somebody has probably got the new world record. And then we played some skeeball. Nice little skeeball. It was good. So let me ask you, man, when you play skeeball, Are you a throat as hard as you can bounce it off the net guy? I'm a finesse. You're a finesser. I got two 90. That was my score. And everybody was very impressed with me. That's really impressive. I watched my kids play skeeball and it was one of the most Embarrassing moments of my parenting ever. They were, they couldn't even roll it to get it under the slot. Like they would roll it and it would bounce and hit the net and then come

[16:00]Back. And I was like, how can you not even roll a skeeball? You're idiots. So at what point do kids get over the hump? Cause I've been out with my nephews and they're probably Between that five to seven year old range. And at about five to six, That can be a dangerous thing for a kid to throw one of those skee, Because it's never going up the ramp. Like you said, Rob, it's like slamming against the plastic. It's flying all over the American funniest home video. It's an American funniest home video. You getting hit in the nuts. With a skee ball is just, it's, it's, it's inevitable. They learn quick. I can tell you this because the Lawrence hall of science on the Cal Berkeley campus right now has a whole exhibit devoted to games. And so it's basically a free arcade because remembers there. So they have skee ball and pop a shot and some other things. And the first time we went to do the skee ball, it was exactly that Russell. I was terrified. Like the kid was just flinging the thing all over. That would hurt. And all you have to do is roll it.

[17:00]I was telling my kids, I was like, you just roll it. Just, and they can't do it. They can't, they can't roll it. It ends up bouncing up there. But by the second time we went, he had it down. And now he's like, he's pretty decent at skee ball. He's still only five. They learn fast, but it's scary as shit. The first time Aaron, you say others, give me two other games are at this pop. It actually let us guess. Let us guess if there's pop shot, basketball and skee ball. I'm going to guess if it wasn't California, I would say there's the old rifle shooting a BB game, You know, where it's like the old, Like when I went down to, Daytona that was in the arcade and my kids were like, what the fuck is this game? It's like a real gun and you're shooting stuff. I was like, well, yeah. What else do you think was there? Russell? What about a whack-a-mole? A whack-a-mole game? That'd be a good one. No, no, that'd be a good one. Well, there's pinball. There's pinball. There's some mini golf. And then there's another game where you, it's like you launch a ball toward a target on a, On a rail kind of thing. So you pull back out any foosball. There's no foosball. Is there? I don't think so. No, that's not really an arcade. Air hockey. There's an arcade one. You can get blisters from that one.

[18:00]Oh, I used to play. We used to have an air hockey table at my house and I knew just how to hit it and flick It. So it would come about three inches off the table and I just fucking drill my sister's Hands all the time. Like she would be terrified to play against me because I would just chip it into her hands. At the time I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. And now I realized when my parents were always mad. Did you guys ever do the thing at the pop a shot where you would sneak in between the Machines and then you would just hit and you'd tap the bottom of the net with your hand. So it showed like that. You got like 400 baskets in a minute. A half or whatever. I did not know you could do that. Oh, just so many tickets. I think I learned that from one of the guys who, complimentary movie. You get like a million tickets. You go out there and they're like, Oh, it's time. Wow. You can pick from any of these erasers. All right, let's get into rolling. Go in Russell. Roll and go. How's it going with you? Rolling going. Things are going good. I, I know I was in Nashville probably about a month ago. A month ago for work, I told you about some of my Nashville escapades, specifically finding

[19:00]All of the Euro stands, but when I was down and I would actually had to go To Nashville again for another work trip. So I've been in music city for about 10 days over a month. So I've almost hit my limit of how much time one person can spend in Nashville. But do you guys, I was going to ask you, I've got really into one specific song. Do you guys ever get into like one song and you listen to it over and over for weeks upon Weeks? Absolutely. So the time, so the song that I got really into over the last couple, probably two months Now is true, but, or by George straight, I can't stop listening to it. I listened to it over and over Rob, maybe you could pull it up this one, kind of a country Ballad country hit here coming up course is coming up here. If you watch this video, it's exactly what Russell looks like right now. Yes. So I've just gotten really into this song troubadour.

[20:00]And so I, when I was in Nashville, I've probably requested this at about 10 bars over the last Month. Are we going to do Russell's Venmo? Please. We are doing Russell's Venmo. But so all these bars and they kept not knowing troubadour. I'm like, how can you not know? Like if you're an acoustic guitar player in Nashville, you've got to be able to play troubadour. You have to, don't you? I've, I've, I've got a friend, Mike for me, Dinah, who has every single CD. There's like 38 CDs by George. He's still buying CDs just to have the collection. So I've heard George straight my whole life. And I've, I've never heard this song before by, by George straight. Yeah. Everyone has to check it out. So do you guys want to play the game of checkout? Russell's Venmo in Nashville or not? Yeah, let's do it. But here let's look, what Rosie, what is your song you listen to right now? Well right now, yeah, right now I've been listening to it. I'm listening to the creator has a master plan by Pharaoh Sanders.

[21:00]We're going to go. Oh my God. Okay. So first of all, just the, this is, it's long. The song is 32 minutes long. It's a whole video breakdown. Here we go. It's not going to be a video for it. Aaron just gave us a 32 minute song that he's addicted to. Yeah. But you got to actually, if you hear the opening notes, then you can really hear Pharaoh's real sound. Let's go to the open notes, opening notes. I mean, this is the greatest tenor sound. It sounds like the Jessica Rabbit singing. I do like the sound. You guys know I love Pharaoh Sanders. Okay. I don't want to talk about what song is stuck in my head because I feel so stupid after Aaron says Pharaoh Sanders, the creator has a master plan. Own it. I think I'm dumb guys. I do not. No, you're not. No. I'm into Troubadour. Yeah, but that's like a song nobody's ever heard of apparently. Like that's, you guys are like picking this cool stuff.

[22:00]Rob, what's your, what's your song you're listening to all the time now? Oh, well, it's never changed. I heard this the other day and I had to listen to the whole thing again. I mean, there's just one jam up there. Oh yeah, it's a great bass line. And it's D-Lite, Grooves in the Heart, who's only mentioned the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Twice. I checked for the whole thing. I mean, if, if, if you don't have like early nineties NBA all-stars coming out to the, All-star game for this song get out of here, right? This is perfect. I mean, this is, I think, a perfect song. And from the Chicago Bulls. I do want to point out this song is a 10th of the length of Aaron's song that he picked. It's a 10th long. Hey, that sounds like a familiar relationship between you guys too, isn't it, Rob? A 10th is long. I guess that's it. I have a smaller penis and I'm dumber than Aaron. I made my family listen to it first. I made my family listen to it first. I was listening to Aaron Sanders all day yesterday. It wasn't a popular choice, but it's some of it's difficult music to hear.

[23:00]Do you think that's why I make fun of Aaron so much is because I know he's better than Me? I don't think that's really true. I don't think that's, what's Matt's current obsession? Matt, what's your current song obsession? I always have three or four, but the one I've listened to a lot is Southern Cross By Crosby, Stills, and Nash. This is some yacht rock it looks like to me. Oh, you're going to get driving a yacht. Slow bone. Yeah. Did not think Crosby, Stills, and Nash had a yacht video. Oh, nice harmonies though. I like that. This is a banger of a chorus though. Matt, you're right. Yeah. While it's getting there, my old soul's warning by the killers. Here it comes. Here it goes. Here it goes. Think about how many times I've had. Oh, they're wailing. Ooh, man. Yeah. You got the video where they're in the dark.

[24:00]It's kind of, it feels a little bit like a Bohemian Rhapsody there a little bit. This is a banger, man. That is a sailboat. Hold on right here. Hold on. Get ready. It gets better. Turn it up, Rob. Just driving around listening to this song. Matt, you make me want to listen to that rock. Roman girl. We should have some of those dumb shit. Bexters, they should text in or Bex in or call us and let us know what song they're Listening to over and over. I'd love to hear it. Well, I told you guys that when I have nothing to listen to, I put on Steve Wynwood radio on Apple. Okay. And it's just all songs I get. And that song comes on like fourth every time. And I'm like, God, this is a great song. So that's the one I've been hammering lately. Listen, what song are you currently listening to? What is your obsession? It's 802-277-BEC. Text it in. Let us know. Oh, you can do it. Right now, just sitting there. What do you think? And plus, or you can make fun of Aaron too.

[25:00]That's something that cool, smart people are doing. Actually, it's me and Albert Einstern. All right, Russell, let's hear these receipts now. So I made some requests, I think earlier and probably used a little bit of cash, but I Actually was at this bar. I was at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. It's one of the famous bars right in Nashville was at the upper level Listening to a band. And I ended up getting a table kind of right up next to the stage. You got a table? Oh, the best spots. I watched someone leave and I was like, I zeroed in like, man, I could see you being Good at this. When you see a table open up at a prime spot, there's just a way to maneuver to get to that And take down. Oh, you better believe it. Because it makes the whole night so much more fun, doesn't it? Can I tell you, Russell, when we were in Ireland, we did, we found a spot at The bar right in front of the Irish band. It was like, these people would just show up right and play their instruments, like They're classical Irish instruments and somebody moved and we got a spot literally like, you Know, I could touch them, I could reach out and touch them. And you know what I did that night, Russell, the ultimate baller move that when the band

[26:00]Went to get drinks, I bought them for him. Nice. So I had this whole Irish band say thank you to me all night. And I was like, God damn, I should be living in a pub, right? My dumb ass with my small dick. Like that's what I should be doing with my life. Small gray dick. We talked about how Frank Sinatra got known for being five pounds of dick or whatever It was, Rob. Like Rob is just. A couple weeks ago. Reinforcing his place in the, the pantheon here, right? Yeah. It's too late now. It's too late now. I can't reverse course. Mount Dickmore or Mount Dickless. Mount Dickless. Mount Dickless that I've just frowdy. Aaron's on Mount Dickmore next door. Why did I even make this monument? He's just like looking down from his castle. You guys just frowdy. I figured out the shirt. That's the shirt right there. You got a Rosie.

[27:00]Mount Dickmore. Rob down here. Mount Dickless. Hey, get a mouse pad of that. So before, actually, before I went to Tootsie's, I went to this place called the Bourbon Street Blues and Boogie Bar where they've got blues music, rock music. It's a great, I've probably been to this bar five times in a month now. Is that on the strip or is that Printer's Alley? Printer's Alley. So it's kind of off the strip. Probably three four blocks it's much quieter it's great right yeah so one of the coolest things i've Ever seen you guys will get a kick out of this i didn't want to forget to tell you about it they Did a thing essentially called amateur night where you've got all these musicians come in let's say There's about 30 of them it's on a monday night and they put everyone's name in a hat and they Draw six names out of a hat and those six musicians come up on the stage and they've just got to talk To each other for about 30 seconds to be like what do you guys want to do and they just start jamming So like six musicians who don't know each other just come up and start killing it on stage

[28:00]And they'll play for like two or three songs and then the mc depending on how well they do Will come up and kind of usher them off and then they'll pick six new names out of the hat It was amazing it was so much fun so who calls out the songs did i miss that who chooses what They play they've just got to collaborate up on stage and decide like what the singer can do and What the band members can do and they just come up with it and they go that sounds exciting Russell's in the crowd with his saxophone he's like please pick me What's the best song you heard in that format actually it the some of the bands got We're playing some funk music and flashlight was the song that really blew me away oh nice It's in parliament Flashlight for sale that's so good i thought they were playing like Blues boogie wingham and stuff that'd be easier to play you had all these different artists so at Some point like someone would just kind of take control up there and say like this is the direction

[29:00]We're going and then everyone else would just have to fall in so you'd have like a saxophone player Standing next to a bass player and they've never met before and two guitar players a keyboard player Two lead singers and they just have to make it happen and it was one of the best music shows I've ever seen in my life it's all fun that is super cool so eventually i make it to tootsie's Tootsie's orchid lounge the first time i went to the orchid lounge and i was like oh my god i'm gonna Go to the orchid lounge the famous country bar and i'm up i've got my great table up front Now i'm getting some you know songs and probably using a little cash but at some point We've got to go to the venmo so this is another edition of russ's venmo receipts Oh i love it oh wait can i what's what's a good song to play Russell's venmo receipts So generally to get a song played in nashville you need to pay 20 bucks but i decided If i start venmoing 40 i'm gonna get their attention and they're immediately gonna have To play it they can't put me on pause for 40 minutes my song's gotta come first right

[30:00]Oh it's the smartest thing i've ever heard russell you're you're using capitalism So the free market one was at 1207 in the am oh it was i and here's my new move i give them Options because if they don't know one they're just gonna skip it so you got to give them options So i gave them troubadour which i wanted to hear i gave them copperhead road by steve earl Oh there you go and i gave them jolene by dolly parton so i gave them three of those Hits that they could choose from and what they choose they ended up playing jolene and they Killed it yeah of course they're gonna they're gonna pick jolene if you give that choice So that was at 1205 or so about 40 minutes later 1244 in the am at this point small hours At this point my request for forty dollars was two of the guitar player's choice i just wanted The guitar player to pick two songs that he could kill and just let him pick what the fuck are you

[31:00]Doing russell you're going to let them choose that's what they're doing for free my dude what Like what's going on actually so it was kind of cool because the guitar you know sometimes when You're watching the band and you're like the guitar player is the star here right like that's The one who's carrying everyone i think the guitar player was just killing it and i don't quite Remember what two songs he played but the cool thing about it is he pivoted they were playing Almost all country but when he says well if it's my choice we're going to play rock so he played Like two alternative rock songs from the 90s and it just like completely changed the tone of what They were doing up there oh russell you're brilliant you found a calling so at this point I'm starting to realize i can't keep doing forty dollars a minute you're right or eventually it's Going to catch up to me so slightly later at 120 in the am venmo received a call from a guitar player Seat for twenty dollars i asked for whole celebrity skin smashing pumpkins or queen Holes no way they didn't do queen they didn't do queen did they this is which was kind of a bummer

[32:00]They did do queen they did fat bottom girls i was really they had a female lead singer and another Lead singer and i thought the female singer because she was doing some rock i thought she could maybe Do the whole song and she went i could see her talking to the other singer and he said let's do Queen and they did Fat bottom girls which yeah was fun people had fun but that's not really what i was hoping for Yeah no i'd be open to the whole too all right last receipt of the night that venmo receipt Time 124 in the am this looks like it happened about four minutes after my other one Final request for twenty dollars the band is guns and roses i requested guns and roses they Played sweet child of mine they killed it it was a great way to end the night Yes What if they would have played like some shitty like slow song What no patience is really good it's slow though what's the one where he turns into a dolphin if

[33:00]They use your illusion that's what i that's the one he's like this is the one where he turns into A dolphin we're like what so essentially it was 120 via venmo to this band when i probably Could have just listened to music for free but i wanted to hear what i wanted to hear and i wanted To hear what they wanted to play and it was a great time you're supporting the arts russell you're a True hero yeah it's probably more it's probably more money than we've contributed to that charity And found us right you're a patron of the arts yeah just like my license plate how's it going With you all right good i still haven't figured out it's been a couple weeks what the flashlights To see menzies is Flashlights I gotta know what that is i know i did too i gotta figure it out No i've been reading this i've got like three books going which is just how my brain works

[34:00]But so first book is i'm halfway through dave grohl's book his biography pretty darn good It's kind of turning into just a commercial for dave grohl which is interesting and we don't have Enough of those out there pretty awesome guy though yeah pretty good Pretty good guy you never hear anything about the his size though there must Not be a lot out there right rob like typically we've heard about everyone else we've heard about Rob and sinatra we haven't heard any rumors on the size of dave grohl's penis i have not Heard you know my ears to the ground at all times and i haven't heard that thing hit the Ground yet so it can't be that bad it is not a liam neeson situation i've got another book I forget what it's called it's about habits or something it's like the number one book in the New york times for a while it's one of those not self-help but one of those kind of non-fiction Books and how to do things and so i've got that reading that but then i'm trying to get through

[35:00]And finish i don't think we've talked about this but chuck closterman do you guys ever read Any of chuck closterman but i love chuck closterman's books he's got a book called The 90s which essentially starts on january 1 of 1990 is going through it and it is Have you guys i've heard of this book at all i've heard of i've heard about i've heard people Really like it i you guys will absolutely love it if you read it because it's essentially everything That we went through growing up in the 90s you know we're the first people to Not you know not have cell phones but then get internet and then have cell phones and all through That stuff and stuff but you know one of the one things he's talking about is how cds have ruined Albums and all these musicians who are before cds came along Don't like cds at all because all of a sudden now instead of having to like cram everything Into like 45 minutes or so or less you know you can have 75 minutes on a cd and it completely

[36:00]Changed the way things are at i thought it was pretty apropos for what we're doing here And a lot of the things that we talk about but it was just interesting to go through so Do you guys think cds ruined albums because i after reading this i absolutely think they do i Think you used to have eight to ten songs and they're pretty tight and if they weren't eight To ten there was a couple long ones like rosie's just had his 32 minute song that was side a Right you know what i mean that kind of a thing but all of a sudden when you get you can do double Discs and you're throwing all sorts of random songs and things and secret songs and all that On the back of you know i am very nostalgic for the old way of doing albums after kind of reading Through all this stuff it's funny you mentioned about cds because i've had a lot of cds that i've Had similar conversations with my brother and some others about streaming because now you have Like the game put out a album that had 30 songs on it you got people like dj khaled's most recent i Think had like 30 songs and like stuff that could be 10 or 12 or less so i hadn't thought of it in

[37:00]The context of cds because streaming has made it so much worse yeah drake came out i you know Whatever drake album did we do a drake out we did a drake yeah you know that one was like 17 songs Right from like two to three years ago and i think it's a really good album i think it's a really good One 2004 it's just too long but here's the thing right if you went and you bought a cd now let's Remind ourselves cds were expensive as hell that's part of what we're forgetting right cds were like 25 bucks and they came in this huge thing we were like wow this is gonna be so big and then it comes Out it's like tiny if you bought a cd and it was 30 minutes wouldn't you feel ripped off by that But that's kind of goes to the record so the other part of this which was going to get to Goes to the record side of things is that people are making the same amount of money they made on Vinyl as they did on cds because of the production you know that's what the record companies are Saying about it all and so like that didn't help the artists at all right it's just helping the Record companies and the people that are putting them out i was reading in the intro to the booze

[38:00]And vinyl book actually it says in 2020 vinyl sales surpassed cds for the first time since the 1980s They've gone from a relic to relevant yeah i'm gonna take this opportunity public service Announcement don't buy vinyl from Because it's just cheap plastic they're trying to you know go buy an actual album it's so much Better than the cheap plastic stuff so they put outside at what store i didn't For you fancy cowboy hat There's different quality vinyl i didn't know that i thought it was all just the same stuff What's the is it just heavier or what maybe the but like you know i got what do i got Listen you know me if it's not a real zipper on an album and i can't unzip it and see what's Underneath i don't need it It's both the quality of the vinyl and the quality of the master recording so some stuff that Gets mass produced they take it from a digital recording and then put it onto vinyl and if it Didn't come from an analog master then you're just like it's trash but also just like the you know

[39:00]The sleeve it comes in like the ones that target are literally just two pieces of paper put together And they slide the album in there whereas you get like the actual album right you've got the It opens up and you've got the liner notes and all that stuff which is just so much better and i gotta It's so much better for the artist but i don't have no idea if it is amazing isn't it how Much music quality is affected by like the size of the file i i try to for this podcast get flack Files if i can like lossless files that's what i'm running through our little system here that we have And it doesn't appear on the podcast because i have to mix it down so it's not a giant file that I but when i'm listening to it on this as a lossless it sounds so much better than when i'm Like streaming it through amazon i don't like i think i'm telling you guys it's time to invest In a network drive with a backup and you just download everything as high quality as you can And listen to it you know what i mean you can't rely on streaming services it's all gonna go away No it's it's somebody said why do you have this you can just you can subscribe and i was like i

[40:00]Don't want to i want to just have everything i want all the time which is kind of what's led to Where i am in my life right now where i just do it whatever i want at all times and just worry About it later so yeah so i killed that live a little bit i don't know i don't know i don't know Yeah no so i don't know a couple things buy real vinyl not vinyl is good not from They are they gonna shut us down i don't think so everybody i think everybody gets that Well good well rosie rolling going how's it going with you my friend it's going good i do so i gave Away a bit of my rolling going when you asked me what i've been listening to because i do listen To ferris sanders a lot i listen to him if i want to celebrate something i listen to him if i want To think about something but he passed away yesterday and i'm not going to turn this into a Sad podcast oh this is the episode to do it rosie this is he was he was 81 81 years old He got his start playing with john coltrane met john coltrane i think in san francisco and he

[41:00]Got started in in oakland and then he he played with coltrane near the end of coltrane's life and Career john coltrane near the end of john's life and career and he's the other horn you can hear On the live love supreme live in seattle record and then went on to play a lot with alice coltrane And then his solo albums sort of spearheaded this spiritual jazz movement so If you read his song titles his album titles they always have to do with love and unity And peace and that's the kind of guy he was but he was a ferocious player of the tenor sax He was 81 passed away yesterday his most recent album matt i think you listened to a little bit The one with floating points and the london symphony orchestra yeah pretty fantastic to Listen to and i think it's i mean whether this actually matters or not he died the day after john Coltrane's birthday and he and john were you know very closely entwined in life so you know that

[42:00]Might mean something it might not but i i listen to pharaoh a lot and so all day yesterday i listened To pharaoh sanders he does have some great songs and i think he's a great singer and i think he's a That can be harsh on the ears so like sometimes we walk in the house and i don't be like what the Hell is this but go ahead matt yeah the second line of his wikipedia page says known for his Overblowing harmonic and multifonic techniques on the saxophone so yeah that's exactly right Yeah he came up with sounds that no one would ever hear before me sometimes yeah especially Like on john coltrane's ascension recording he's making sounds that sound like From another dimension and he but he played he can play really sweetly Too so he was just i i think one of the great musicians i saw so many great Tributes to him on on the internet yesterday someone called him the last of the greats And yeah so so that's that's the first thing little rock arkansas he's from little rock yeah Little rock arkansas and then became one of the greatest jazz players of all time now do you guys

[43:00]Ever think about like when you see somebody who's 81 who dies and obviously this is the depressing Episode for everybody because we're listening to the smiths and you just think to yourself well i'm 41 right so i can get another 40 years till i live as long as pharaoh sanders what am i gonna do with All that time like what is do i am i just gonna sit every sunday and watch football and then go To work and then do this like is this just the rest of my life because i'd prefer not to waste Like 20 years of my 40 doing this like maybe five yeah no pharaoh was yeah pharaoh was it was Playing right up to the end of his life so i'm also i'm very excited because i i am just recovering From covid and i'm gonna get real wild with my newfound immunity there are two very small Record stores in oakland that i never went to during covid but now i've got i've got a couple Of weeks where i'm pretty sure i'm immune so i'm gonna go see if i can find any pharaoh sanders Records at the groove yard awesome or contact records in close quarters what if you go to the Small record stores and they're literally just selling small records like it's a giant store

[44:00]But all the records are tiny you're like i did not understand with people with really small hands Like looking through them Like cabbage yeah rosie do you know where he went to college i don't i don't know where he went To college oakland city college i know he got his i know he got his start in oakland in fact i read An anecdote that he would come back to oakland in even in the 90s and just show up at clubs and They studied art and music that'd be so fun yeah i know he got started in oakland aaron what so Other than pharaoh sanders because you know when we go to a record store you got to run Some sort of plays you got to run a system what what's your system what are you Looking for well i'll i'll go in and look for pharaoh sanders and they'll be like no he just Died of course there's no pharaoh sanders records well maybe there's an alice coltrane record and They're like no of course like pharaoh sanders just died they bought up all the alice coltrane Records sounds fun so far yeah i mean i the one i'm planning to go to well there are two so The one i'm planning to go to specializes in jazz i'm kind of interested in coleman hawkins and

[45:00]He's more of an earlier guy than pharaoh so maybe i'll see if there's any coleman hawkins The last time i went into this other one i went specifically to pick up an art blakey record That they had posted on instagram and then that record is called behind his delight it's a great It has a moon river on it but that was they were selling for 150 dollars so i had to like Moonwalk back out of there like i was like hey i was looking for that record right there and he's Like yep it's a great copy and i looked at it it was 150 and i was like thanks i gotta go Yeah is that one that you have to take the tag off if you bring that home and leave it on the Kitchen table is that one like you have to take the tag off if you bring that home and leave it on the Yeah that's one that like maybe when my son is in his teens i'll spend that much money on a record But now with a five-year-old in the house we were down in stillwater and we went into a record Store and this lady is more of a vintage store lady said she had all these band t-shirts and i Think a lot of them for like reprints and stuff but she had an original pressing of oasis wonderwall It was still in the package and everything and she's selling it for like 200 bucks and i'm like

[46:00]Really 200 bucks that's a lot of money and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god That's a lot for a record right yeah did you play it like what have you scratched yes i mean That's kind of why i didn't buy it because it's like well i want to play it so i'll just go buy A 40 you know used old vintage copy or whatever you know so yeah you should buy that marquee Moon i heard it's jazz inspired yes damn it i don't agree have you heard the last song Cordon spark yeah So that's what that's it That's it for me how's it rolling going with rob listen i went to the comedy seller first of all i Want to say aaron i also have covet this weekend but i did i got i tested myself twice that Means i have double covet it's actually worse i went to the doctor does it make me a bad friend When you guys texted and said you had it i didn't show any like care like i wasn't like oh Are you i just ignored it what are you gonna do about it no i mean mostly it was just like

[47:00]In case i can't talk i'll let you guys know but you can't do anything i was shocked when i found Out it was real i'd been listening to aaron this whole time and i was like this covet is a real Thing what's going on scandemic i went to the doctor though and took off my pants and he said Well at least you don't have long covet so we went to the comedy seller the other day jenny and i And some friends as we were wanting to do and as as it was going there was a group of it was very Funny because they were a super conservative like frat guy but they were chatting the whole time Chat chat chat these and they are Monstrous guys i mean they're like six four they're huge they're just the most giant guys And i was like you know i'm not gonna say anything i'm just gonna sit there because i was right next To him and i was like i'm just gonna sit here i don't want to cause anything and they're not Like it's not that bad but it was distracting from the act right bedazzled pant pockets or Back no it's like it's like fancy like from martha's vineyard like they would know a good Place to eat martha's vineyard for example like it's this kind of group sweater with the arms

[48:00]Tied across the chest pretty much yeah pretty much and i was like oh my god i'm not gonna say anything Yeah pretty much and so of course this problem is immediately solved when jenny Leans across me oh no and goes This doesn't sound familiar at all and And says you can't talk during the show it's distracting right so i do the very brave male Thing of looking straight forward do not acknowledge that this happened whatsoever Meanwhile jenny is in front of me like look at like eye contact with him right So they say oh okay and they quiet down a little bit or whatever when we get up to leave The guy that she shushed gets up oh no and he has scars on his face fresh he has stitches here Here it was obvious that the night before he had gone out and had gotten hit in the face with a With like a beer mug it was there was it was the only thing his face looked like i mean he had just

[49:00]Gotten hit with a glass last night like a mug it was it looked terrible and then he got up and he This is the guy that jenny shushed she looked at a guy and shushed and he looked over and his face Was so scarred i was like what the fuck jenny why would you shush the one guy that she's shushed is The guy who obviously loves to get in bar fights get him while he's down he's probably recovering From the night clearly you're the you're the guy who can't take a bottle of the fate i mean Got a bottle of face like she found the weak one all right no no you guys are wrong about this This guy got hit with a fucking bottle the night before and still went out the next night yeah But you're like the you're like the american champ raw lifter like i've thought about this Rap like if you were to play football right now wouldn't you just dominate for how strong you are If we don't have to do anything over five seconds long yeah could anybody yeah but could anybody Push you around right now i don't think anybody could you are you're a lot stronger than i think You're a lot stronger than you know what would actually hurt though you know it doesn't Matter how much you can squat is if somebody hits you in the face with a fucking bottle Which this guy learned the night before that he has to do it before somebody hits him with a bottle

[50:00]I'm lucky he didn't just do preemptive strike on my face with a bottle kobra kai strikes first right Oh my god and of course that's who jenny fucking shot i mean you would you wouldn't believe it if You saw this guy i mean literally it's the only injury you could have had fresh stitches that's The move though you got to go with the toughest the biggest badass in the group and you got to Challenge them because if they back down they all back down you if you pick on the pick on one of The weaker ones then they're going to gang up on you so i think you got to aim for the Who agrees with you jenny because she did that and then slinked away back behind me so i was Sitting there and they all turned to look at me god damn i almost got my ass kicked at the comedy Club aaron matt what would your be your style so i'm again i'm a walker not a talker i used to be A talker right 10 years ago i would have certainly said something and now i've just passed it i just I don't care i don't want to get involved in that stuff i don't want that to ruin my night What's your guy's style would you ever sit over and shush someone or not yeah life is too short

[51:00]It'll be just fine odds are there's a jenny in the crowd who's going to do it anyways and let them Let them yeah handle it from there right i wouldn't be saying anything they can be the bad Guy and you know shush them and all that we can just sit and have fine yeah no i would not i would Not be getting involved you know the main reason i didn't do anything too is that there was like Eight of them and i was like when you get a college age guys going out together they're Looking for trouble like they're looking for any excuse at least one of them is yeah and The rest of them might have to back that one up oh my god i mean it was i mean the only way to Approach that right i think would be is if you just very gently went over there and said guys My wife over here she's a little hard hearing she's a you know she's not all there she's she Really can't hear do you mind i mean just while the show's going on do you mind just Not talking as much i mean i i really appreciate it for my wife she's got She's got problems that's very thoughtful of you and then bash a bottle hits your face

[52:00]There's a jenny in every crowd let them handle it you don't need to be the bad guy Sometimes there's more of them out there than you think she's gonna cause trouble Nobody's favorite this is everybody's favorite part Erin this is the part my uncle skips he literally just turned it off every week Not as enlightened as he needs to be maybe we should start saying goodbye to everybody All right well thanks Probably I'm sure joe from woodbury he hates music i think brian listens to the whole thing Yeah let's see brian and his kids everybody we're starting the music section All right when you hear great music like this why wouldn't you want to stick around in here And by the way that song that you just heard is going to be the most positive thing You're going to hear for the rest of the night like that was the happiest bit of music that You're possibly going to hear we are talking about the smiths

[53:00]Album their third album i believe the queen is dead the smiths are made up really of the Guitarist johnny marr and the front man famously morrissey of course and morrissey just a i'm just Going to tell you right now morrissey is just a bit of a bummer right like you always have That person at work who when you get talked to him you're like oh yeah that's right i forgot this guy's A total bummer that's morrissey is a professional bummer he is the he is on the mount Rushmore of bummers he's on the mount rush bummer like he's he's the only person out there he's A rush bummer in fact he's such a bummer that i actually his wikipedia has the word forbade Three times because morrissey forbade people from doing so many things for example he he instructed The band to never get photographed eating meat with his after the album meat is murder right Well maybe that meat looked like that package of whatever replacement meat that resembled rob The other day two weeks ago impossible beef

[54:00]What is it called nobody's interested in that meat whatsoever but he picked the name the smiths Morrissey because he said i wanted to pick the most boring name imaginable sounds like somebody Had some mommy issues apparently when he came on stage he had a he would have his glasses on and He would he was wearing a hearing aid which you can imagine i bet this is the first artist we have Who performed wearing a hearing aid and yet this band the smiths is one of people think this Is one of the most influential english bands ever Of kind of like emotional rock and going this is pretty much a direct kind of going the Opposite of pop at the time right is really being poetic talking about your feelings are they before Or after the cure or are they contemporaries like before influence two there okay all right so what Is this first yeah yeah before but this is like the cure was at least like i think more poppy Than this like i was i've never listened to the smiths i was shocked with how well recorded the

[55:00]This is i thought this was going to be kind of like a like this sounds really really i take That back the cure started in 78 and they had a few bands right around this time so they're probably You know contemporaries like sharing ideas stuff that i heard from the cure is like 84 to 87 kind Of stuff yeah the really good stuff and so yeah and so basically they did one more album after This and then surprise they broke up and swear they're never ever getting back together And they said that this breakup was primarily because morrissey was irritated with the guitar Players work with other people and they're never ever getting back together and they said that this Their artist and the guitar player was frustrated with morrissey always wanted to do the same songs Over and over which well you might hear a little bit on this album but let's get Into it the smiths the queen is dead not splooting no she's totally dead not splooting But it is funny because this song caused a bit of a stir when they released it But he always said he said you know it's a double entendre because morrissey's gay and he says well

[56:00]So the queen in this song as well so in classical morrissey fashion he's like no the queen isn't dead It's about me being dead everybody's like oh god what a bummer I read there was a harmonium on this track i don't know i didn't know what a harmonium was It turns out it's a reed organ or a pump organ and the pump organ could be a hand pump organ Or a foot pump organ it looks like an accordion oh you could foot pump it if you're Not many people are into the foot pumping yeah you're mostly playing your own harmonium that's What i find maybe if it's like your birthday you gotta be standing up so that doesn't really go for You rob does it i did read too like that part of it was like you didn't want to attack The monarchy right but he was kind of saying like hey we act like this is such a big deal Everyone follows like the queen and all the you know the royal stuff and it's kind of just a joke Because they're really not that important did you guys ever get into stuff like that or not i know

[57:00]You're not that important you're not that important you're not that important Last week you were talking about your dad not being an anglophile but did you guys ever like Do you follow the megan markle stuff do you follow any of this stuff no and i'm actually pissed off About it i'm sorry that you brought this up russell because i i've been so fucking annoyed Since the queen died that like you i go to look at the new york times i go to look at apple news And like half the time there's queen stuff on the front page like you guys know me i'm not super Nationalistic but like we fought an entire goddamn war so that we don't have to care about whether the Queen lives or dies and it's all over our damn news i'm so sick of it sorry i'm done i'm done Patriot when i think of patriot i think of rosie right yeah we kicked him out so we don't have to Care i think the there wasn't the royalty bigger before reality tv don't don't you think reality tv Killed the royalty like the royalty was the thing where it was like oh my gosh princess Dies cheating and then you know the prince said oh i want to be your tampon you know i had to

[58:00]But we kind of have to and like that was like the hot goss of like celebrities before reality tv now Reality tv you see people acting like crazy all the time i mean if i want to see flavor flay find A woman to date that show exists i don't need to hear about the queen and all of her dogs and how All the trouble these i feel like it was just like tv in general right i mean you just had you Didn't have celebrities before you had presidents and congress people you know the queen you know But like there wasn't like movie stars and there wasn't athletes and things like that I mean it's just who are you going to write about i don't know like the fact that prince Was like i don't want to be in the royal family anymore we're leaving boohoo right oh this is so Hard i'm just going to want to be a normal person that is the same as when i saw kim kardashian lose Her engagement ring in the ocean from chris humphries that engagement ring it's one of the Funniest scenes on tv ever it's great she has this huge ring she jumps in the ocean it's gone Forever it's wonderful it makes you laugh that's what the queen used to be right yeah that's right

[59:00]You're right thank you guys very much i appreciate it so kim kardashian is on the same level as the Queen one thousand percent they're exactly the same i kind of agree ding ding thank you And frankly mr shankley this song is bizarre No i'm gonna tell you right now this album is an all-time college vibe album you put this on You are set up a vibe not a great vibe But it's a vibe and you're sending out a message this is the vibe of like the three guys who have No other friends are playing this is not a good college vibe by those days i will say i Vibed with this one today because we're recording this on a sunday and tomorrow i get a new boss My seventh boss in my tenure at my job and it did start to curl up my soul a little bit so This one spoke to me today hey guys this is going to be known as the depressed episode let's do all The depressing stuff this episode and we'll just say it was the

[1:00:00]Smiths that caused it and morrissey and everybody's going to understand that song and just to pile on That song described by morrissey was the resentment and emptiness caused by fulfillment of desire and Success i mean that's it right it's like hey i've done as well as i possibly can in life i've done Everything i know what yeah what are we gonna do now i'm gonna die when i'm 81 god only knows what I'm gonna do i mean do you think other people are jealous that we have this podcast that we have Something that we do like this they are yeah absolutely yes people are because we're here Together with each other and that just goes To show how fucking dumb our listeners are because this is absolutely a nightmare every Time we lie down we're like the people who express jealousy about it to me don't actually Listen to the podcast they just think it's cool when i talk to my friends i i read that linda Mccartney actually declined playing the piano on that song they wanted linda mccartney rob if i were Linda and i came to you and i said hey morrissey wants me to play the piano on this Paul what should i do what would he say he'd be like oh linda the one thing you can't do is play That hand pump harmonizer because you only have one leg

[1:01:00]You can't play that hand pump harmonizer because you only have one leg Right was that her oh or was that a what i think that's the only thing that might You get blown off by landmine or something what was it oh This is the depressing episode this is the episode to talk about this stuff what happened to her leg I don't know wasn't she a photographer with only one leg i mean that you gotta imagine like these She had a ton of pictures that were sideways because she was falling over Putter never read the breaks the average number of legs in the united states is below two all Right i know it's over i saw greg olsen on tv today speaking of that guy's got a big dick too Disney he says his dick is like a tripod third leg greg yeah i saw him on tv today who's that And that reminds me teddy bridgewater got into a game you've seen have you guys seen you've Guys seen his louisville picture right

[1:02:00]Okay sorry i brought this up oh no teddy bridgewater penis and don't bring up Look at his school picture that was him at louisville that's his school picture look at That thing look at it why are we how did we get here again it's as big as the number on his Jersey literally if you compare it to the number of his jersey his dog is the same size it looks Like a towel hanging down It's unbelievable who's greg olsen he was a tight end at miami and oh gotcha he's like He's a he was the announcer guy i know i don't even know if we're allowed to play this but you Know what greg olsen was originally famous for that rap being part of the seventh floor crew With the miami hurricanes how is he even how is he not got canceled for that G-regg what you do get hit how you drop my drawers and let us see my third leg

[1:03:00]That's a good question That is a very good question i think if you go to the university of miami they're just like Okay whatever like it's good like that's you're good for whatever don't worry about it It's it's the two life crew rule i know it's over so just to let you know now listen i don't Want to bum you out but the opening lyrics of this song says oh mother i can feel the soil Falling over my head as i climb into an empty bed oh well enough said p.s happy birthday He is a clever person he's very good i will say The english are in general though i think you're right yeah that's a good point but i will say like He's got a moody voice the songs are moody but there is some humor to it too of like It's so depressing that sometimes he knows it's over the top and like plays with that What do you guys compare this to or what is it what does this inspire when you hear this like What other bands or artists do you think of i thought of the cure but i don't know a little

[1:04:00]Duran I mean a little talking heads a little crash test dummies Not crazy i don't think that's crazy it's the tone is kind of similar I just thought russell was trolling for rob to sing the crash test But i do think like there's something to be said about these songs that are so outwardly depressive And then His voice is depressing and yet the songs are beautiful right like if you're carrying hearing Them through a door they're legit beautiful songs yeah i've never listened to the smiths on purpose But they do get played in bars and restaurants fairly frequently oh my god you got to go to some Different bars if i do this like triple rock social club places like that like anytime i'd walk In like and the smiths run i'd be like oh i like this band this is good this is why i don't go to Coffee shops what if the next song on the album was like judo game

[1:05:00]You bring the bang into my heart instead we have a song called Never had no one ever and my only note for the song is just so depressing i just wrote so depressing Maybe like a sad rem song i don't even know what this is like well russell It's interesting that you would bring up sad songs Okay it kind of got me thinking a little bit like you were thinking i really don't like sad Stuff like to the point where my wife loves sad stuff it's her favorite thing to do we Interesting we were meeting new friends at when my wife was in medical school And we had these people over and we've been lifelong friends with them but the first thing We ever did hanging out together ever first thing is jenny goes hey i got this movie on netflix Do you want to watch it and this couple's like yeah sure let's watch it it was a documentary About orphans in romania who huffed paint

[1:06:00]What in the subway where they lived because they also had no home Oh and at the end of the movie we're all crying and jenny's like that was pretty good i Mean she loves it she's like a vampire for being sad she loved i can't do it like because she'll Say to me like oh i i like this book i'm reading but you like where the crawdads sing right she Read that she's like you can't read it's too sad i won't go see sad things i only see comedies now Like in theater and stuff like i just cannot man oh But you know sometimes with music listen it's not always jitterbug sometimes you have to Listen to some sad songs so i was thinking russell oh i was gonna ask real quick though rob if you Don't want to look at sad things did you get rid of that full-length beer in your bedroom I replaced it with a picture of teddy bridgewater i thought this was our depressing album i thought We were just doing sad stuff yeah actually you know my the lower Part of my body is the best looking part so that's the full-length part is that i need

[1:07:00]You know what i need is i need a mirror that's from like my shoulders up and like the bottom Of my balls down like that part of my body i'm thrilled with it's like those when the magicians Would like cut people in half and they would like take their feet apart somewhere saw me in half Those are the parts i want take everything else out you know the people getting taller surgery I'm doing the opposite cutting it out getting shorter love it so russell i decided to think About what are the saddest things in the world and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like What are the saddest songs of all time so we're doing a list we're just going all we're leaving It on the depressing album i told you guys it's the sad l now listen rolling stone had a listener Poll so i was like hey rolling stone magazine it's what we've based our whole dumb podcast on Let's do it the saddest songs ever well it turns out those songs were actually sad and they're About sad things like i'm not even going to tell you what the number one song is because you will Get too sad just thinking about it so instead tell us what Was it about a middle east man in minnesota huffing paint or not it's gotta be no it's much worse

[1:08:00]Actually sam stone by john prine the saddest song recorded that's on the list but it's i know it's That is shit so here's the deal is i'll tell you at the end of the okay after the song i'm going To tell you guys we're going to cap it with the saddest fact of all that's going to be the big Reveal we'll work up to it here's the deal so i combined the rolling stone saddest song list With my own saddest song list and we're going to start with a song that has made me cry when I was in high school i listened to the song i listened to the lyrics i absolutely cried my eyes Out you cried this is johnny cash with i hung my head jesus yeah i set off running and this is a Song about a kid who accidentally shoots somebody like in cowboy times went into the sheen and then Gets arrested and hanged for his crime to the south land and i just i was listening to this One day i don't know what it was i was like in my car driving and i just cried and cried So sad incredible i know aaron's brought this up before but the and then the old johnny cash songs

[1:09:00]Are just heart-wrenchers aren't they yeah so then you hear about him growing up like in the Dust bowl on a farm all by himself you're like yeah listen right here there's like this chime It just tears right now i'm like tearing up just a killer yeah it's just like how can you Sing a song and make a halfway through his life Man cry like that's crazy next up just for man listen there's a song that the guitarist brought With him when he joined the band he had written it as a demo pearl jam i don't know any other Fact about the song but here it is black by pearl jam it's all about how listen i know You're gonna be the bright star in somebody else's life like oh yeah i mean jeremy's about A kid shooting people in his class jeremy You know better man dreams and can't find a better man all this stuff i mean they sing

[1:10:00]Some depressing ass shit man you think about a song talk about a song that's perfectly recorded And mixed this thing sounds fucking great because my flack yeah oh god yeah so that's maybe this Is a terrible idea guys we should not be doing this no right let's keep it up okay so we have a Classic you did this rob can i tell you that two of these songs i just pulled from the soundboard I have because you know this oh jesus yeah this is aaron we aaron and i have had a this Is probably about a year ago where aaron and i went off on one king of the hill episode but this Is famous for when bobby got gout so this is a sad song this is about when bobby from king of the hill Got gout oh think about aaron with gout i got gout figs are piling up His feet hurt and then he's going to the dance with suzy the neighbor dragging his foot up he's

[1:11:00]He's got a rascal yeah he ate too many chickens so he's got a walk on his gout chicken livers I got gout i think you've had too much i couldn't finish this list well we're not finished but the Third song on here from the end i mean i had to go back it's i hurt my How could you not I have heard this song songs in bars i've heard this on a jukebox in the bar like During the day let's go give that person a hug right yeah right the lyrics are myself today To see if i could feel the song that's so big nobody thinks of the nine inch nails versions Anymore right this is the version that is see i still love the nine inch nail version like Everybody else knows That one but the nine inch nails version is awesome

[1:12:00]All right we'll talk let's talk about some more depressing ones One of the other songs that i listen to all the time now and god we can't have rob play them but It's warning signs by coldplay and we should pull up some lyrics it's just depressing But you're breaking up with somebody things like that like depressing yeah Shit smashing pumpkins siamese dream i mean the whole album i just get in a bad mood sometimes After i listen to it i don't listen to it that often anymore i don't know I just want to make it to heaven I just want to make it in Oh Listen this is a good time for me to tell you a real life sad story i have going on

[1:13:00]What's your depressing episode i because of covid i had to cancel my weight lifting power Lifting meet this weekend which is a bummer sucks yeah but even worse it was my daughter's First power lifting me today yeah how'd it go and this is i want to be just like you dad isn't it And i had to watch her over a live stream because i couldn't be there in person it was totally just Like the number two song cats in the cradle oh yeah look at this sign my daughter made for my Other daughter look at that she's never made a sign like this for me ever literally when she Started i cried at my computer proud dad moment cried because she didn't set like a national Record or no she says state record at the bench of course hey and she's only a bit away from The national bench record but here's the deal and i did miss one of her lifts because i was

[1:14:00]Putting together a list about sad songs but i missed her lift and i was like oh my god i Missed one of her lips do the podcast now i think one of the saddest songs though is we have been Talking about getting older this is kind of in a toy story type situation where we just Talk about getting older depressing actually one of the most depressing songs you can think about Is is there going to be a time in your life where you can ever use this song again Wait no weddings no i mean there's nothing big coming up on the horizon there's nothing great So ironically the song celebrate by cool in the gang reminds you This is actually one of the most depressing songs ever all the fun is in the rear view I'm going to the wedding of one of our listeners in in october in kansas city so i will let You know if they play cool in the game well i hope you don't get covid and have to skip it Hey rob you won't be invited to that one either

[1:15:00]Hey aaron i hope you sing and ruin their wedding like you ruined rob's wedding too I've not been invited to sing at this one i don't know what that says about me Aaron if when i get remarried you're definitely gonna be singing my wedding whether you like it Or not this is the way it is so listen this is a song cemetery gates this do you know What this song is about a lot of authors friends hanging out in a cemetery Talking about authors guys everyone is hanging out in a cemetery except for me They're using gravefinder.com they are finding those graves Kind of sounds like someone mentioned this band the other day it's fair dakin ladies a little bit There is something about his voice with the super bright guitar sound isn't it and like It works kind of the fun like super fun rhythms rob you mentioned the guitar Sound on this i believe the guitar player is johnny marr is that right yeah so actually there was a Another artist that we know a few years back who played a song pulled in johnny marr for a song it

[1:16:00]Was back and the song was milk and honey and he had him do these leonard skinner type riffs check This out yes That's the guitarist from the smiths is playing the guitar on this Song with that when it comes to playing songs about things that give rob digestive issues With people from the smiths who did it better back did it better every time and i like beck's Other song called baby guinnesses from two weeks ago all right so now we have This is the lead single so they had not made an album for a couple years before this one And they released this single to show them that hey a new Smiths album is coming out and it's called big mouth strikes again

[1:17:00]I know i'll join of arc as the flames rose to her roman nose and hearing aid began to melt Oh can you jump to the beginning of this one just weird i mean this is i love the lyrics on this is So good i heard mumford and sons i think there's no Yes And i actually i googled to see if there was any connection and i couldn't figure out the Name of the blog but there was definitely some sort of message board where they were having an Argument over who the worst fan in the world was the smiths or mumford and sons The smiths were up four to zero on the page i was reading It votes no no i think i'd rather listen to the song than listen to the song Listen to the smiths and mumford what's your alias on that message board yeah pile of shit three

[1:18:00]Made his murder Raw is gonna be depressing for you the boy with the thorn in his side so this one might be a upper I don't know let's let's listen so this was the thorn is the music industry They don't all sound depressing though unless you listen to the lyrics right no you just Tune out the lyrics like matt's pretty good at tuning out the lyrics sometimes they don't all Sound depressing they don't all sound depressing they don't all sound depressing they don't all sound Depressing do they no not at all what do you think of this one matt the album These ones feel like they're on some 1992 yes indie film or something right i guess the background for It so i like these ones you know to russell's point i don't listen to the lyrics i couldn't Tell i didn't know the one before that they didn't know they talked about joan of arc and Roman nose and all i just i never listened to that so the ones that are a little more upbeat I'm fine with but the ones that are Dark and dreary man they're dark and dreary so i'm blown away that this sounds so good i i

[1:19:00]Always thought of the smiths as like a kind of a i don't know what a garage band almost but the Recording of this and that's another way i think that they're like the cure where it's a super clear Sound and they really pay attention to having those high frequencies and low frequencies Kind of mixing at the same time a vicar and a tutu I have a more silly one actually Kind of rock and roll Yeah yes Oh yeah guitar work too Yeah they're very assessed at incorporating different musical styles I don't know guys this might be an album i keep listening to after this it's kind of a It's kind of a vibe right this is the type of music you listen to when you're at 41 in the But you're on the third half of your life and you got nothing to care about right you can't play the horn Like ferris sanders so what are you gonna do what are you gonna do listen to the smiths

[1:20:00]Just stare off into space this one is what a lot of people think is the quintessential there's One smith's album on the 500 list they think people think this might be the perfect smith song And as aaron alluded to earlier the lyrics and if a double-decker bus crashes into us To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die and if a 10-ton truck kills the both of us To die by your side The pleasure the privilege is mine Can you imagine this russell mentioned rem and this is what makes me think of rem because I i wait the entire album to hear this track and then i put this one on repeat Yeah it's just like night swimming for me it's like i don't care about the rest i just want to Get to there's a life that will never grow out because i love this song this might be one of The top 10 songs we've done on this list to me such a great love song I just love it yes listen just listen right here It's so good

[1:21:00]What do you think of morrissey's voice there and how does he use his voice it's kind of Unique right yes he's so he has a really pure like he's singing really beautifully here he has a Really pure voice and he's singing really well and i think that's what i'm looking for in this song is like well i think in the opening track where he just comes off the melody entirely and doesn't seem to bother with melody and then he he's you know he does a lot with what he has he's he he chooses A unique way to to approach each song in a way that his voice wouldn't lend itself to you guys will never believe what bands inspired the smiths if i told you that it was The smiths if i told you that it was Velvet underground and the stooges would that surprise you at all No no no it's like the i would say elvis costello too but yeah but those bands didn't have what this

[1:22:00]Band does for the closing track finally a song about breast size some girls Are bigger than others technically true have we done any other songs i don't really i don't Understand the choice No the song is great it's about what we all want to think about here's the thing Have we done any songs just about breasts i couldn't think of any Such a weird song that song about my humps my little bit lovely I think that's a 115 we're gonna get to it soon It's just so funny where he's like how should we end this album ah i know Listen i got this great song very now i can tell you some guys are bigger than others and let's go

[1:23:00]Back to that lenny kravitz clip okay rob has his list it's all i can think about a spreadsheet or How do you keep track of all this rob it's all up here Spreadsheet now we're in a spreadsheet Back did it better rating system Oh yeah Listen that was the queen is dead honestly compare delton john a favorite album because It's not a fucking double album that takes 10 years to listen to that is a half hour album You get done with this album you're in you're out you're it's it's great hey the smiths they Got a thing they're very good at it it's what all these bands are trying to do all the time They are at 113 on the list okay kind of a sad number if you think about it actually pretty Fitting for them 113 a sad number is that a perfect place for the smiths that means that They are rolling well toned if you think this album okay if you would love for it and you

[1:24:00]Together to be hit by a double decker bus okay you're you're walking across the street in jolly Old london town with your mates okay and this record you're holding it your hand in hand okay With your tiny Tiny hands and you're holding this tiny record you went to the tiny record store you got this Tiny record you're crossing the street all of a sudden you look to the left to see if any cars Are coming you step out but unfortunately you're in london the cars are coming the other way because On the left side of the street immediately double it's twice the horns yeah it's double Horns because there's one guy up top also honking the horn it's a double decker bus it hits you You are in heaven it's what a you're privileged to die that way that means this album is A rolling bone it should have been higher up you love the album okay or should this be lower On the list okay and i know what you're thinking lower on the list well that's going to be a lower

[1:25:00]Number no lower on the list would be a higher number we of course are going from 1 to 25 much Like they don't do in a beauty contest you don't see that very often where they say the number one And then they go all the way to the end and you find out who got last place would be a bummer at A beauty contest if that was you and it's kind of something that morrissey might sing about with The smiths and this album the queen is dead at 113 if you don't think it belongs up there This is a rolling groan okay now folks we have to hurry up we're running long so please don't Waste any time tell me what do you think of the queen is dead at 113 makes me laugh every time Russell what do you think i don't know this was fine i thought it was interesting it was kind of Bopping around i i didn't quite put the lyrics to the vibe of it didn't i didn't think sounded Through the whole thing but the more we talked about it it made me honestly dislike the album Even more than the first time around so i thought it was fun to listen to i can't see myself ever Coming back and listening to this again though so i'm gonna say it's rolling groan it's too high on

[1:26:00]The list for me russell can you say that last sentence again but make it sound like morrissey Please it's rolling groan and so i'm not gonna come back and listen to this ever again perfect Rosie what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling groan morrissey the queen is dead I i am always surprised at how much i enjoy the sound of the smiths and i For this one also just kind of let a lot of the lyrics wash over me Except for there's a light wood that'll never grow out which i love Forever but i just don't think there's enough here musically i think there's you know i think There's good musicians but there's just not enough here that justifies it being higher than some Of the stuff we're gonna hear eventually so i'm gonna have to call this one a rolling groan Groan thank you i was gonna say i do excuse me i did hear mr morrissey speak on that oh by the way I know what he banned anyone from ever calling him stephen because he hated his first Name that was forbade from calling him by his first name so matt what do you think rolling

[1:27:00]Well-toned rolling bone or rolling groan morrissey and the smiths i know you can forbade and i know You can forebode but can you ever just forbide I You know again i think this whole list is you know i said it a couple weeks ago This whole list comes for how it was influenced for the artists that came after it i think there's A strong connection between hair metal and then this depressing ass shit that like depeche mode And ah good one you know echo and the bunny and who else talking heads and the cure and all of You know you take hair metal you take all this stuff you put together and you get to my favorite Stuff grunge right you kind of get the deep dark feeling stuff but also some long intro you know

[1:28:00]Noodling solos and things like that so i personally long noodling like this a little Yeah a little bit a little better than i thought i would than i thought i remembered the first Time i listened to but i think it's because i've kind of gotten into this synth pop Really rock british sound from the 80s lately and so i don't know i can definitely see where It came from if this is the album that kind of kicked it off great i don't think it is but You know from a again from a concept standpoint i think this is rolling well toned You kind of feel where everything else comes from after this listen well oh i'm sorry man i didn't Hear what you said i said rolling i know but i don't know how they got i don't know i can't do It It's like it's like just open up your mouth 55 right open up your mouth 155 a year place right I mean it's late you guys are warriors tonight it's rosh hashanah tomorrow i don't have to go

[1:29:00]To school open your mouth real big man say and just talk from the back of your throat and then You're talking like morrissey oh perfect you nailed it listen there are very few albums where Cats in the cradle is actually one of the more upbeat songs we listened to today Like that was we're kind of like that's kind of fun this album is a little bit more upbeat than This album is a rolling depression okay yes when you are in a bad mood and you want to hear Somebody else who's in a bad mood listen to the smiths it's going to pick you up because you're Like hey my life's not as bad as this guy i mean he's he's a celibate vegetarian that sounds like A nightmare to me that sounds like the absolute worst that's tough i mean that's that's rough That's tough not a lot of pleasure he is not the principle of pleasure he's not living by the Pleasure principle He's the opposite hey come on over revving leaks tonight and having no sex Listen next up i was so excited because i swear that we were doing the first clarence carter album

[1:30:00]But it's not it's it's is this it Oh god is this it oh fuck i'm gonna have a lot to say about this one When you want to hear about the greatest album of all time But you're just too lazy to look it up online Do you have a joke russell if you want to hear i got my i might need some help with it i can try Yeah you do your joke and i'll do my bit i've got the perfect podcast for you jack What do you got rob It was tears in heaven Oh when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time I hope this is the one my uncle stayed listening to the This is kind of depressing and it's so

[1:31:00]Please give us some tuba music to go out on a high note Lou reed looks at the smiths and is like boy those guys are bummers And if it was the two of us