The Police: Synchronicity (1983)

[00:00]All right, everybody ready? Yeah, let's hit it. All right, let's rock and roll. Synchronicity. All right, let's get some synchronicity with this. Let's get some clap. I'm going to clap like this. And how are you going to clap, Aaron, to do some synchronicity? All right, good. We made it. We nailed it. All right, here we go. Do you prefer my spotlight on or off? On or off? Wow. Or off.

[00:30]On or off. I'll tell you, that's going to be the second spotlight that wins some Academy Awards, Russell. Can you turn that on? Because I love the look. First one, of course, is about the Catholic Church. God, there's so much khaki in that movie. All right, here we go. It's full of khaki. Like, why do you get Rachel McAdam in the movie and just put her in khaki the whole time? Wait, that's your thing is that the movie is full of khaki? That's what you learned about the movie Spotlight? Yeah, what's it about? I don't remember. I'm joking. Don't do it. I get it. I get it. Aaron, you got me good with that.

[01:01]Just couldn't get past the Catholic Church. Couldn't get past it. Aaron, you tricked me, and I'm fucking furious. Don't ever do that shit to me again. Okay? I trust you. All right, here we go. In 2020, four friends decide to listen to everyone. Aaron coming in hot, by the way, with a spotlight joke right off the bat to start. It's like, well, I wonder what kind of episode this is going to be. We just get a text to the Bex line saying, please, more spotlight jokes. And I'm like, okay, we'll do it. Aaron, your sense of humor is spot on. You keep going with it. I appreciate it.

[01:30]Thank you, Russell. I appreciate you. Now I need to put a leash on the dog, because neither one of my kids wants to take it. Give me one second. Rob, have you ever been naked in front of your dog? I think the question is, has Rob ever had a day where he wasn't naked in front of that dog? The real question is, well, I had to when the dog was giving me lessons at one time, because he was showing me something. I don't want to tell you guys what it was, but it was a special. Anyway, do you think dogs could tell when humans have gone to shit? Like, are you gay? You know, let's say 15, 20 pounds.

[02:00]Does the dog recognize it or not? Is it like, God dang, could that guy just go out for a, take me out for a walk occasionally or what? You think the dog is like, the dog is acutely aware of you going through a depressive episode? Maybe, I don't know. This is rough. It's rough. Literally and figuratively. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated. The music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast.

[02:32]We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Not a best of this time. We're doing a real one here, folks. We are all the way up to album 159. And from 1983, it's the police's final album, Synchronicity. You know, guys, I heard Sting was born out of wedlock. So I guess ACAB. All right. So that, there's a, you gotta do some, you gotta connect the dots a little bit there.

[03:02]That's, that's, that's impressive. That's actually great. I don't have time for this. I'm actually proud of the intro song. So let's get right to it. Let's just turn on. Often you guys have moments where you were like, people make jokes and you're just like, I'm not smart enough to understand like all their worldly knowledge. It is a good night for Rob's blue line flag that he's always got flying behind him. So tonight's, tonight's the night. You finally nailed it. Oh, that's a good joke. That's a good joke. Rob's not happy. He's not happy with me. Turned about is fair play.

[03:32]All's fair in tantric love and war. I told you guys that is a specific big boss, big boss man flag. Okay. That's why his picture is on there. I have to explain to everybody that passes by. It's really, it causes problems. There's nothing wrong with Cobb County, Georgia, is there? Let's get, let's turn on the radio. Okay. Here we previously on Beck did it better. After intermission, there were two ladies sitting a few seats down. Oh, that moved over a seat for you.

[04:01]So one of them was now sitting in front of my musical theater fan that I'm with and my musical theater fan all of a sudden was not happy about it. Tough luck shaking her fist, angry that people were sitting in front of her, even though like they weren't our seats. Anyone could have been sitting there beforehand, right? Yeah. She was not happy. Should I have offered to switch seats with her or just kept by it by aisle seat? You need to offer a question. You need to offer to switch seats. Yeah. Well, let's, let's move on to the next topic.

[04:31]If you're Russell's date and you're at a play, well, you better pray. No one's in your way. Russ won't switch with you. You can turn his way. You can even say, I think this is it. We should go.

[05:00]My seat's behind my new bowl. He won't switch with you. Oh, can't you see? Yes. The soliloquy. Yes. You're in rage. Nope. Cause you can't see the stage. Yes. If you're Russell's date. At home. You should have. He's got an aisle seat while you're close to the potty, but he won't switch with you.

[05:37]Oh, when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time. I do have to ask. I heard an adult call the bathroom the potty a while back and I was like in shock. It wasn't to a kid. It was just like to other adults. Like I've got to run to the potty. Like, how do you guys do with that? Do they have a kid? Do they have a kid? I don't know. They're saying it. Like 98% of the time they have to say it to a kid.

[06:01]Like, do you need to go potty? That's about the only way that's acceptable. You've got to be able to transfer your head back to where you're at. It's not okay. Russell, was this in the context of like, I just moved in with, I just moved in with you. Why is there a camera on the potty? Stuff like that. You know? Well, maybe we need to revisit the conversation then. Hey, I heard you can't get pregnant in this outdoor potty. Stuff like that. I got to say guys, I listened back. I did. I really did listen back to some episodes. Just like I was watching film and I was thinking about jokes that I should have made. And I realized I'm not stepping in enough.

[06:31]So you're going to hear me stepping in more this episode to have some of those great jokes. Like I just said. Some more uncomfortable insertions, huh? Yeah. Don't worry. There's going to, there's, I got two guarantees. More and Rob. Okay. That's how I'm going to answer right now. So please don't interrupt me or you will go to the hag. Oh, all right. Welcome to Back to the Better. We've got four guys here who are definitely not off the rails. And we are talking about Sting and the police. And we're all wearing our. Our Sting sweaters are blue and yellow sweaters,

[07:00]except for Aaron who has a green and red sweater and a glove with knives on it. He's got the Freddy Krueger. He got a little mixed up on it. I've got the Sting mask and underneath is another Sting mask. Oh no. But I haven't wrestled for years. What's up with that? I can't believe we got into Sting that early. What else are we going to talk about? Are we talking the finger poke of doom? Listen, all I know, okay, is thank God for the police. Because when RoboCop was in, wait, was he in the cage? RoboCop wasn't in the cage, right? RoboCop freed Sting from the cage. Is that what he did?

[07:30]This is WCW pre-NWO. If you know this, you've got fucking problems. Even I don't know who's pre-NWO. Look up, look up the Sting. Have you guys ever seen that? You've got to be from Cobb County, Georgia to have been watching WCW back in like the mid-90s. RoboCop wrestling. I'm just going to type in RoboCop wrestling. Okay. The link is purple. So here is Sting, okay? So who we just heard, okay? And watch what they thought was real wrestling back then. But you can see now. This is RoboCop 2. And I know what you're thinking. Why don't they pass out samples of nuke?

[08:01]Okay. The drug that was in RoboCop 2 that everybody remembers and not just me. But instead, they put Sting in a cage. But luckily, who comes down to rescue Sting? RoboCop. RoboCop? RoboCop. He's slow as shit. I could beat that guy up. Look how slow he is. Hey, and that, Rob, just to clarify that, there was big, big Sid Vicious. Not needed. Guys, you've got to watch this clip of RoboCop.

[08:34]Sting. Dead or alive, you'll sing for the police. Is this what we're doing instead of the voicemail? Because we don't have any of the speakers. No, no, no. We got lots of voicemails. But this is RoboCop rescuing Sting, guys. This applies to the police in so many ways. This is 1990. So we were nine or ten years. We were ten or nine years old. And so this explains a lot about how we ended up. The thing is, too, is that when Sting was leaving, the thing goes, he goes, you know, RoboCop, I'm starving. I'm starting a new band. What should I call it?

[09:00]Okay. And he looked at RoboCop's car and he was like, I've got an idea. All right. Hey, you guys down with OCP? That's a RoboCop joke. All right. Let's get into the voicemail. This is why we don't do multiple weeks in between recordings. Look at how much work Rob put into the pre-jokes. Who's on this podcast, though? Are we going to introduce anybody or no? Oh, that's right. I forgot about that part. Russ got me distracted by saying pre-jokes, and I've got a couple. Good jokes about pre-jokes. You can still laugh from a pre-joke.

[09:31]A pre-joke can still make you laugh. You got to be careful of the pre-joke. It's actually sometimes funnier. Hey, guys. Pre-jokes are not funny. I'm just going to say we need to move on now. Did you guys ever see that movie where pre-jokes ran around and they got in a car crash? All right. Is that the one with Tom Cruise where they caught the pre-joke? The people with the pre-jokes before they told the jokes? When I'm at a hotel and I rent a movie called Pre, and it's about a runner, I cannot tell

[10:05]you how disappointed I am. Hey, Matt, we're going to talk about Pearl Jam in like six hours if you want to hold on. Right. It took me 45 minutes to jack off to that thing. All right. I've got three guys here who want to talk about the police and Sting. Dead or alive, you're talking about it with me. I've got Matt in Minneapolis who looks very happy. Matt, how are you doing tonight? Good, Rob. You know, this podcast, I guess someday we'll see it come to its fruition.

[10:31]So, you know, we'll just patiently waiting for it. Love it. Patiently waiting. Patiently waiting. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing tonight? Rob, every drag of pot you take, every corny joke you make, every weightlifting record you break, every minute of Matt's life you waste, I'll be watching you. Yes. I want to point out that the past tense of speak is spake. So you could use that as well. Something to think about. Something I've learned in my parody. And I've got Aaron out in California.

[11:00]And Aaron, we were talking before the show about just, you know, technology and stuff. And Aaron said that he thinks of all the inventions that we've seen in our lifetime, okay, from RoboCop to Sting and the police, he thinks that the whiteboard is the most remarkable. Whiteboard, huh? It's the most remarkable. It's remarkable. You can re-mark on it. Yeah. Rob, that joke was so good. And embarrassingly, one day at school, it was pre-markable. So... And the pre-marking can also be remarkable. It can also be as potent as the regular marking. You can read just as well from a pre-marker.

[11:31]Rob, these jokes are so good that I'll be wrapped around your finger for the rest of this episode. Nice. Let's talk about the police. I was... I had almost a whole song written about toilet cams, and I'll be watching you. But there were too many sound effects. You could barely hear the music. So... All right. Let's get into the voicemail for the second time. These guys don't want to hear the voicemail. They want me to talk about stuff. Here we go. Nice.

[12:00]On the back line. Yeah. 802-277-BECK. That's 802-277-2325. I thought for sure I'd get Aaron with that one. All right. No, no way. I'm learning. I'm learning my lesson. Part two of our trilogy. Oh, my God. I'm at a baseball game with Russell. Oh. He's such a freak. He's just whining for minutes on end about how dirt isn't manicured to his liking. What? Can you believe that? Can you believe that? You didn't know anything about sports?

[12:30]He's a dirt freak. He's in a music podcast. Russell, this is kind of the Empire Strikes Back where it ends with Han Solo frozen in the carbonite. Okay? We get kind of a nasty taste in our mouth. Maybe next episode that's going to change a little bit. But, Russell, when you were at this baseball game, were you complaining about how the dirt was manicured? Do you have a problem with that? Oh, I do have a problem with this. I have actually brought this up to a state champion high school baseball coach that we know from the... Jesus Christ. I don't... I don't like going to a baseball game and seeing how they watered down the whole infield.

[13:01]The infield doesn't even look like dirt. It looks like mud. Like, if you're a pro baseball player, you can handle a speckle of dirt that might cause a hop that's going to hit you in the face. Like, that's why they give you the fucking glove. You don't need to have the whole dirt watered down. And, like, when you watch other games on TV, it's not like every stadium is watered down. I'm not a fan of the watered down infield. Matt, you're a former baseball player and coach. What do you think? I think you're nuts. Because as soon as the one second, the one play, the one time that that, you know, just

[13:35]a divot in the infield or something like that causes a ball to go by and they lose a game in the playoffs or something like that, you know why this happens. Because that has happened. There's been a bad bounce. What is the guy? Bucky Dent? Or who's the guy from the... Bill Buckner? Bill Buckner, right? You know, how do you... Do you think that they manicured back in 1986? Probably not. But now they do. They do every single time. And they're not doing anything between the innings anyways.

[14:00]Have 18 people go out there, rake the thing up, put a little water down just to mat it down just a little bit so it's not getting any dust in your eye and call it a day. Now, Russell, are you sure? I got two jokes here, so don't cut me off after my first one. Are you sure that you weren't actually reading a book about rabbits? Okay. And instead of the dirt being watered down, it was water shipped down? Okay. On to joke two. Are you sure, Russell, that you were there? Were there a bunch of monster trucks driving around in the infield? Because if that was, that was not a baseball game, okay? You were at a monster truck rally, okay?

[14:31]And you may have paid 20 bucks. And Matt, how many trucks would you have seen for that? Did you do the first joke yet? Oh, my God. Shots fired. My guess is for 20 bucks, my guess is you got to see just about 20 trucks. And that would be true, okay? You can buy your whole seat, but Russell will not sit there because he's at the bar. I have to fire back, though, Matt. If I watch a game on TV, it's not like every stadium has... Yeah, they are. They're not allowed. They're not all watered down. No. Yeah, they are. They use different dirt, so you might not be able to tell.

[15:00]There's different dirt. Every single Major League Baseball field has a hose, and they water it down before the game. Every single one. You just don't watch it. You don't see it before the first inning. I'm good with it being watered down. They got to change the color of the dirt so it looks like a baseball diamond. If it looks like it's mud, that's not what I paid for. But if you look at it, and it's not, but it's not mud. It's just the dirt that they're using. So your perception of it being mud is... Is just wrong. This is heated. Yeah. I mean, can we get any more picky about the dumbest shit in the world?

[15:34]That's the only reason our podcast exists. Yeah. Wait a minute now. I would say this is wonderful. This is probably what's going to break up the podcast, is our thoughts on infield dirt. Let's get into... I was hoping to go out with a joke, but instead, I'm just going to relish and revel in the thought of you guys fighting about the dirt in the infield. Guys, call in. Let us know. What is your favorite kind of dirt in the infield? Let's see what everybody's up to. It's time for...

[16:00]At the end of the pod, I'll show you two pictures. We'll see what you guys prefer. All right. Okay. A visual joke. There's one where it's next to a shampoo bottle, and one where it's next to a travel-size shampoo bottle. This is so strange. Aaron, rolling going. I was going with you. It's going great tonight. I've got some vermouth in my glass, and I've really taken the... Just vermouth? No. We're going to stop right here. Aaron, are you drinking just vermouth?

[16:31]I am, yes. Aaron, we're actually going to have to have an intervention right now, okay? It says it right on the bottle of vermouth. If you drink this straight, you must have an intervention. Aaron, why the fuck are you drinking vermouth? What is going on? Are you okay? Do you need money? I'll Venmo you. I think this was like $33 for the liter. This is a Spanish vermouth called... I think it's called Casamario. I got to check again. I read a great article in The New Yorker by... It's a B. ...by author Helen Rosner, whose work I really enjoy,

[17:01]talking about Spanish vermouth and how delicious it is. So I've been bringing it back for the summer, and I'm really enjoying it. And I finally got some good ice trays, man. I don't know if you can see this right here. I got a spherical ice cube right now, and I also have some trays that make big square ice cubes, and it's really changed the whole game. So you took that conversation we had, because I did listen to film. I did listen to some film getting prepared, and I had to listen to that ice cube conversation where Aaron interrupted a great story I was telling, okay? And he said, I want to start making my own ice.

[17:32]So you actually went out, and you are now making your own big ice cubes, and you're loving it. Yeah, I mean, I bought some molds, though. I didn't go full on and, like, make a giant chunk and then cut pieces. I bought, like, I bought some molds. They were, like, these are not, you know... I'm not doing a professional style here. Aaron, I did notice that ice isn't totally clear, okay? So I'm just going to tell you right now. I know. I'm going to be the first to tell you. You got shitty ice, and you need to work on that, okay? Ah! Hey, it doesn't bother me. Maybe it bothers you. I'm not sure if that's going to be something you obsess with over the next week,

[18:00]but your ice is no good. Aaron, are those rubber or plastic molds biodegradable at all or not? I don't know, Russell. I did agonize about it. I wasn't sure if this was really okay to buy or not. And I bought them from Amazon, which I didn't feel good about. But that's the only place I could find it. So now you're cutting right to the heart on this, Russell. You know, I was thinking about this earlier today. At this new place I'm living, the ice maker, it's not an ice maker where you put your cup in and it puts out ice, but it just drops ice, like, into the bucket in the freezer, if you will, right?

[18:31]Okay. This is one of the best damn ice makers I've ever seen. It's constantly putting ice in. It's constantly full. Like, you open that thing up, there's never a lack of ice. I'm like, how can this ice maker be so perfect, but, like, Xfinity can't figure out cable if you're on the phone for, like, eight hours, right? I'm still trying not to make a puts-out joke after what Russell just said, so I'm not really sure how to continue after. A puts-out? I'm telling you guys, if I went to a bigger, if I lived in a bigger house, the first thing I would do is do what my sister did

[19:02]and buy a separate ice maker that is making the sonic ice. It's making the small Metrodome-style ice cubes. Pellet ice. It makes everything so great. I love it. You put some Diaboutin Dew in there, you're in heaven. Listen, Helen Rosner has written an entire article on pellet ice, Rob. You could find her. She lives in New York somewhere. You should find her. You guys would really get along. Rob's right. Yes, I bet. You know what? I bet. Same one. That's not the one I meant to play. Yeah. You can find her. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about pellet ice.

[19:30]I love pellet ice. Anytime I get a drink and there's pellet ice in there, I know I'm going to have a good day. The other fine living thing I've done, it's been a couple of weeks now, but it's been a while since we talked. I got my first manicure on my anniversary. Wow. I know Rob has had a manicure. How about Russell and Matt? Have you done the manicure thing? Never have. Never have. It's nice. I have never done it. I've got this weird thing about strangers touching me. I don't know how to explain it, but the idea of a massage for me, I can see how it would be so relaxing.

[20:00]It's just not what I'm comfortable with. Matt, I don't know about you. Manicures, pedicures, massages, it's just not my thing. Aaron, did you get your fingers, did you get your manicure because you hurt yourself masturbating? No. What? Because my butthole is so torn up. I'm thinking about doing it. Oh, no. That's one of my stand-up jokes I've written down. I think it's a good one. It's a good one. I mean, I feel like that's just play the outro. That's it. We can just, I mean, that's it.

[20:31]It's time to say. No, I, you know, I've never, I've thought about, I've never gotten a massage either in my life. And I'm not opposed to it. Oh, my God. It's just, I don't know. I don't know. And to Russell's point, like, yeah, it probably is great. And it probably would be great and all that stuff. I just never done it. So I've never felt like I need, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. So there's all these self-care things, right? Everybody should be doing and, you know, skin care and all that stuff.

[21:02]And it just, it's never, I don't know if it's a upper Midwest thing or age thing or what it is, but, you know, there's, there's a couple of professions that need to have manicures, right? So I know our old friend, Scott, who lives in Alexandria now, he's a dentist, right? And so he gets a manicure because he's a dentist. Can I tell you this? My sister gets manicures all the time. Or I'm, because she's also a dentist. Dental school graduate, Rob. Dental school graduate. No, we're not. Please, I'm begging you.

[21:30]Dentists wear gloves. They don't need manicures. That is a lie that dentists have been telling us for years. They are wearing gloves. Why would they need a manicure if they have gloves on? But Rob, if they came and sat down, like in their introductory, but they come down and they sit down and kind of start chatting you up and they don't have gloves on yet. If you see they've got like a big hangnail or something, like that, that doesn't fly, right? That's a bummer. Yeah, because you're going to have to swallow it. You're going to have to swallow on that thing. Yeah, that's a good point. You can tell they've been eating something with mustard and they wipe the mustard off, but you can still tell there's some mustard there.

[22:00]You know what I mean? Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, forget about it. Hey, that dentist or dental school graduate has definitely had a Cheeto within the last few days. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, no. Aaron would be like this. Hey, what kind of mustard is that? What kind of mustard? Is that finely ground mustard? It's pretty good. It's brown, I think. I like it. Rob, do you get manicures and stuff or not? Of course he does. Absolutely. Yes, of course I do. Okay, what am I going to cut my own toes like an animal? Russell, the idea that you think I can reach down

[22:30]and cut my own toenails is the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me. But I can recommend it. It's a gentle introduction to strangers touching you. I enjoyed it. It was a date on our anniversary and I was like, I kind of want to go get a manicure today. I was like, let's go together. And it was great. I really enjoyed it. Matt, how's it really going with you? Good. I made fun of you maybe a hundred episodes ago. Because, and this has finally happened to me, but I finally have a workout shirt that just smells and I have to throw it away. It's dead.

[23:00]Sometimes you got to throw it away. Yeah, I've never had it happen. So I don't know again. Is this old age where all of a sudden we just smell that much worse now or what's the deal? I think so. Can I tell you guys something? I feel like I've made a huge error. I bought new headphones. Okay, now the reason I bought new headphones is I had my noise canceling beats that I wear around town to block out sounds at home. With my family to block out sounds. In bed with your wife. I had to change my earpads on it. So I took a screwdriver and jammed it up there

[23:31]to take off the earpads, right? What could possibly go wrong? Well, it turns out there's some wires in there that help it charge that if you touch those, it's very bad. Why are you touching the wires in your headphones? I jammed a screwdriver up there to get the earpad off, Aaron. Keep up, okay? You'll never graduate from RoboCop school at this rate. Here's the thing. Is that then I wrecked that $250 pair of headphones, right? Just immediately. Just wrecked it. Had to throw in the garbage. Felt like shit. Feel so bad. I went online and bought these. The Apple AirPod Maxes.

[24:01]Okay? Now, do you want to guess after tax and AppleCare how much these cost? $600. $600 is correct, Aaron. You are 100% correct. I spent $600 on headphones. And do you know what I found out? They are great. They sound great. There's noise canceling headphones. They have these removable like soft cushions that you guys can see right here. And it's so airtight that nothing escapes when you put it on your head, including all the sweat. So now my $600 headphones that I bought

[24:32]are starting to smell like Matt's workout shirt. And I feel like an absolute fool. Because I know at some point I'm going to take them off and my head is going to smell like sweaty earphones, even when I'm just walking around. It's an absolute disaster. Two things. One, do they come off so that you can wash them? Like, can you throw them in the dishwasher or something? Like, have you Googled that? I mean, it seems like they would come off that easy. I'm so busy. Did you hear that new sting for the voicemail? I've been working on that all night. Okay.

[25:00]Yeah. But I, you know, so I don't know. It feels like if they come off that easily that they're meant to come off to maybe to wash them or something. I get nervous now doing anything with my headphones after just sticking a screwdriver in my last ones and breaking them like a caveman. The second thing is, and I don't think that we think about this stuff enough, but how much time, how much do you wear those headphones? Because you are in New York. And you don't want to talk to anybody. So you wear those things daily. Yes. And probably multiple hours a day kind of a thing.

[25:30]I now have a routine where when I wake up, I walk the dog, I put them on. I then wear them all through my morning, getting my coffee ready, go to my bike that I have to bike to school. I then put on a different pair of headphones because these don't fit with my helmet, put those in a backpack that I brought just for the headphones. When I get to school, I put the AirPod Maxes back on. And then when I'm at work, not teaching, I also have those headphones on and then I wear them home and then when I play video games, you know I love to turn off the sound and turn on a podcast at the same time. Geez, aren't there artists who get paid

[26:00]just to make sound for video games and you're just disregarding it to listen to some dudes talking? There are. My kid is into them. He knows all of them. Just fucking loves them. Listen, I'm listening to Beck Did It Better trying to figure out what I should have said last time here. I'm doing the work. But $600 for something that you use that often, I mean, that's like a no-brainer, right? You don't want to buy the $100 pair. $50 pair, like get the good shit, right? No-brainer is so close, but so different from what my wife said when she found out what I spent to buy a new pair of headphones

[26:30]after breaking the last one. How long do you have those ones? No-brainer. I bought those for her for her last birthday. Yeah. And then she never wore them and I wore them for a year straight. The one thing I was going to ask you though, Rob, so I wear headphones a lot when I'm walking around. If I go to a store, if I'm doing stuff, I've always got headphones on, but they're earbuds. I don't ever wear like, my Beats by Dre. I don't ever walk around with big headphones on. Do you guys walk around with big headphones on? No. I did for a short period of time,

[27:01]but I don't have a, I don't have a nice fancy pair right now. Yeah. Airplane only, airplane only. And these have a button where I can push it and then it turns on microphones so I can hear the world around me. So I'm not like the predator. I can actually hear better than I could before. But when I am talking to you with like headphones like this on, some people think it might be a little disrespectful. Hey, Rob. It's pretty perverted, isn't it? Oh, well. Listen, when you're watching hardcore pornography and talking to your doorman at the same time and he doesn't realize it, that's perverted.

[27:30]Hey, both these guys have packages for me. That's basic. Russell, rolling going. How's it going with you? Rolling going. You know, I was, it's been a while since we've talked. I was trying to think of some of the fun things that I've done or some fun experiences I could share. But instead, I was talking with my co-tenant and we were, I was saying like, hey, what have we done? What should I bring up on? And what she calls a, a check-in. She calls it the check-in, not the rolling going. So what should I talk about on my check-in? And we started talking about the things and she started bringing

[28:01]some things up and I thought I could share five or six of the things she brought up about her experiences with me as a co-tenant and I could get you guys feedback on her behalf. Wow. Russell, this is, I am, this feels like rear window. Oh, Aaron. That's why you have that big camera? So the first question she asked is, she's kind of getting annoyed. We've got this kind of pattern. She works at home. I work, I usually work a little later and when I come home, she's usually watching

[28:30]one of her shows and if we're going to spend time together, she kind of understands, oh, maybe I'll turn my show off or whatever, but she's kind of getting annoyed because when I come back, I just kind of want to, I don't want the TV blaring. I don't want like all this stuff going on. I just kind of want to chill and so she's been watching shows like The Walking Dead, The Last of Us, Riverdale, Sex Education, these shows and I'm not really thrilled about watching those when I come home, but I'm not really thrilled and she's annoyed by that. Is she allowed to be annoyed that when I come home, she's got to turn her shows off? She's got to turn my...

[29:00]It feels like there's a happy medium in here somewhere. Matt and Aaron, I just want to ask you right now. You come home, you tell your partner, hey, you got to turn those shows off. I don't tell them to turn it off. They just feel like they have to. And Russell, would you say they're right? I get it because she wants you to be into the things she's in. She would prefer to be doing this together. Yes. It feels. I mean, it feels like then you got to find another way to connect, you know? If it's not going to be the shows, then it's got to be sit down and have dinner,

[29:30]you know, other ways for people to take a walk, things like, things of this nature. Oh. Russell's face fell when you said take a walk. So the follow-up question... Russell, can I ask you this? Yeah. One question. Do you have $600 that you're just lying around? Because I got a great idea for how to solve this problem. I'm a sweaty guy too. I don't know if they'll work for me either, Rob. So good. The next question they had would also be, what if the co-tenant you're living with has somehow convinced you

[30:00]to be into all these sports documentaries like The Quarterback, Hard Knocks, this made-up high school football team called BS High, The Dream Team documentary, The Last Dance, and The Magic Larry HBO. Somehow, this is coming from us now, me and my co-tenant have gotten super into sports documentaries and my co-tenant seems to be okay with this. What do you guys think of that? Kind of sounds like she's going to be she's trying to meet you halfway in the middle of your show. Russell, tell her to knock it off. No more sports documentaries.

[30:30]Okay? Oh, you want to sit down and watch this What About Bo Jackson or University of Miami that I've seen 10 times? Absolutely not. I will not be watching this with you. It feels like the goal here is some quality time spent together and one person is willing to make some concessions to make this happen. Russell, can I just, I can just tell you right now, if my wife said, hey, come on in, I got a 30 for 30 on ESPN I want to watch, I would immediately try to put her in the blender because she is a pod person. She's not real. She has switched bodies. Okay? You should be kissing her toes

[31:00]when you guys are watching sports documentaries together. That is unbelievable that somebody wants to do that with you. Okay? Mine, mine wants me to take off my headphones while I'm playing video games so I can hear what she has to say. In one of those sports documentaries, Magic Johnson was talking about kind of his promiscuous days or whatever and one of his interviews he talked about how at one time he had six women in the bed at the same time. I've seen this interview. Question from the coach and it is, could all of these women or people really sleep in one bed? How many people in a bed is two bedding? Okay. Let's think about this.

[31:30]We got to fit six people on a bed. Okay. Let's say it's king size. Obviously, we're going one normal. We're going one head to toe and we're going another one normal. Right? That's how we're sleeping three across, right? How do we get the other three in that bed? I mean, we know that if it's Russell, any more than one in a bed is too many. But I've done three in a bed with Zach from Colorado and... Nice. I don't know. Maybe that's Steve. But we went crossways and just found a way to prop our feet up off the bed. So we did the crossways

[32:00]zombie laid out on your back. Do you think you have to... You need to link and log it? You know, put those other people on top of this like... Can you imagine waking up in a bed and there's just five other people there? That would be a bummer because you know that you'd be sleeping in the middle. You'd be like, oh, fuck. Nobody else is up. I can't even get up. I got to just sit here. It's like when you were at a sleepover at your friend's place growing up and you wake up unless it's that one friend who just had snacks just where you could grab them. That was always crazy.

[32:30]You'd just open the thing and there'd be snacks there and you're like, you just grab these? Your family's not hiding these from you? Let's eat all of them right now. Yeah. All right. Going to go talk about that in therapy, I think. We call that a pantry. They had a pantry that you could just go in and there would be stuff. And my house didn't have a pantry with just stuff to grab, right? We had a snack drawer. Just one drawer. Like some chips. Cheez-Its and Little Debbies in there. Little Debbies? You had Little Debbies in your house? Yeah, I think so.

[33:00]Okay, I got to turn off my camera for a little bit. I'll be right back. All right. Next question from the co-tenant. Speaking of beds, what would you do if you want to sleep in the middle of the bed and your co-tenant is like, hey, you're way too far to the middle here. You've got to, there's got to be some sort of sharing of the bed. What are your guys' thoughts? Co-tenant thinks they deserve the middle of the bed and they can just take it away. Shout out, Russell. This is how it starts. It starts with just these little things like this. Next thing you know, you get 50 fucking pillows on there. No, he's leaving stuff out.

[33:30]This means there are two wet spots on the bed. That just means you're doing good work. Oh. That just means there's only one non-wet spot that's in the middle. That's just nice work if you can get it, you know? When you jack off and then cry afterwards. Why are there two wet spots? But speaking of spots on the bed, the other question that my co-tenant had was, what if Russ just showed up one night and tried to take the other side of the bed? I would go to the right, I took the left,

[34:00]and just try to establish that the left side is now my side. Oh, Russell. That is so fucking sick. That is the most perverted thing you could do in a relationship is try to take their side of the bed. Oh, my God. Russell's like dressed as the bed. He's like, I hope nobody lies down on me and squishes me with all their weight. I wouldn't love that more than anything in my life. Russell, you might as well try to get on that bed and sleep head to toe with that. Like, just switch it up. Just be like, this is the head now. You guys have never tried like a switcheroo on the bedside when you've had your lived with your wives?

[34:30]It's usually consensual when we, yeah, I mean, it happens, but it's consensual. It's like, oh, hey, maybe we should switch it up. Oh, but you've switched it, Aaron. Yes. Yeah, there's two wet spots on Aaron's side, so everybody has to sleep on the other side. Rob, Ben, have you guys ever switched sides or no? No. Russ, we'll go into a hotel room and sleep in two separate beds. We're still on the same side that we would be at home. Like, there's no... Do you know how big the divot on my side of the bed is compared to her? She would be sleeping like the lowercase u. She would just be like... She would not be able to handle those.

[35:00]Those divots are made for my body with some pillows. All right, last couple questions and we'll move it on to Rob here. Well, don't you have a bedside table, Russell? Like, what? There's a bedside table on each side. Why can't we just switch? Yeah, but doesn't your side have a fan and a sound machine and all the chargers that can all be moved? All those deep batteries. Hey, let's not get started on how... Half the nights I go into that bedroom, my charger is no longer there. It has been moved. Let's not get into that. That, Russell, that is breakup territory if somebody's taking your charger. Well, what if it's...

[35:30]What if technically it's their charger but you've just been using it on that side of the bed? Eight-tenths is the law, right, Russell? I don't hear anything about breakup territory until we get a party out of this whole situation. That's true. Russell, can I ask you this? Does your significant other ever buy chargers that have, I would say, approximately the brightest light known to man on it so when they plug it in, it lights up the whole bedroom yet they're wearing a sleep mask so they never know that the bedroom is lit up like a carnival? Me neither. Just wondering. Possibly.

[36:00]All right, last couple questions I had. How would you feel about your co-tenant listening to his own podcast and laughing at his own jokes? Just joyful. It's just joy. I like it. I feel great. I'm doing it every day, okay? I'm getting mad I didn't have more jokes. Matt, have you ever been caught listening to the podcast or not? Never been caught listening, no. But every once in a while, I listen like in the car or something, but never been caught by anybody else listening, no. There is nothing more humiliating,

[36:30]humiliating, Russell, than being caught listening to your own podcast, though. I will say that. Like when you're sitting there laughing and if it's a joke you told, it's extra sick. Honestly, it would be the equivalent of like if you're, if somebody came in and just caught you jacking off and crying in your bed. Like it's exactly the same thing listening to your own podcast. It feels different. To me. I mean, I don't know. I think that's about all the advice that my co-tenant needed. Rob, rolling going, how's it going with you? Rolling going, how's it going with me? All right, listen.

[37:00]Is this the perverted episode or is it next time? It can't be the Pearl Jam one. It's got to be this one. So listen, my wife, we decided, okay, we're like, listen, tonight, we're going to make love. Okay, that's the way it is. Turns out, we got too tired. I get into bed. Jenny is lying there like this. And she goes, do you think you could have a fetish for mummies? And I can just lie here like this. And my brain is so, my brain is so fucked up.

[37:30]Do you know what I said? You're goddamn right. I can. I said, I'm more into step mummies. No, we're not even related. I opened this tube and this mummy's trying to fix this dryer and it's stuck in it. Rob, have you watched the beginning of Superbad lately? No. You should, we should pull that up sometime. We'll watch it after this thing. So it, it like fits you to a T. It is hilarious. The first 30 minutes of Superbad is some of the best writing. I, or improv,

[38:00]I don't know. I love it. I would never not watch that. And then I also say this. We bought a ninja ice cream maker. So we are now just making ice cream at home. Okay. The other night, peanut butter ice cream and we made homemade cookies. Chop those up, put them in. What are you guys making? If you can make, here's what I'm trying to get my kids to do. Vanilla with Captain Crunch in it. Yeah. There's an ice cream. What's that ice cream you guys would make if you had the ice cream, the ninja ice cream maker? I'm going to go, I don't, we're not at Trader Joe's that often, but they do have those

[38:30]spicy sweet pecans. They got the pecans with the spicy sweet coating on them. I'd put those. Get those at Bucky's. That's what I would, yeah, throw those in. Russell, Russell, what's your thought on spicy ice cream? Where are we sitting on spicy ice cream right now? You know, Aaron's a great friend. If Aaron took me out for spicy ice cream, I'd yell at him for not taking me to vegan barbecue. What about the sweet part? I said the sweet part too. I didn't say just spicy. It's a mix. Spicy and sweet. Give me some milk. This ice cream is so spicy. I can barely eat it.

[39:01]Matt, what are you making for your ice cream? I, probably something fairly simple. Like, you know, either Oreo or like some sort of, almost like a blizzard. I think of it as almost like a blizzard. Right? So. Russell, what are you putting in ice cream? Yeah, I'm kind of with Matt. I have no reason to believe that I'm smarter than the, the executives at Dairy Queen I'm going to take like a, some sort of banana split type, just throw all the stuff in a banana split, make an ice cream out of that stuff. Oh God. That sounds good. I want to try.

[39:30]What do I want to try? Dandelion green. Dandelion greens. Yeah. All that lice ice cream I made was so spicy. I hope this one's super, super bitter. Yeah. Oh good. Did you go rolling going, man? Did we do it? Oh my gosh. We can't do anything but talk about music on this music podcast. Oh yeah. Left with no choice. We have to. Is this a music podcast, right? I've heard, I've heard things about the music podcast. Here's the deal. We are talking about synchronicity by the police.

[40:00]Now here's what you have to understand about the album. There's one thing you got to understand. Police go huge in the early eighties, right? They're coming out in like 78. They're coming out with albums. They're getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger every album. And with each step, these guys absolutely hate each other. And the number one reason that these guys hate each other, is they, and this, I thought, I thought of you guys when they said this, they said Sting basically turned into Bono. And that Sting was like, Oh, I'm the most important person in this band. I'm doing this.

[40:30]I'm doing that. You guys, I could do this all without you. Okay. And it's like, Oh, I hope he writes Fields of Barley. I love that song. It's my favorite song. I said, nobody, nobody likes that. Nobody likes Sting and solo stuff, but it turns out they were also, he was also kind of correct. He wrote basically every hit song and you can hear what happens on this album. Actually, I think Fields of Gold kind of rules, but I like Ava Cassidy's recording better. Fields of Gold, I screwed that up. Hey Sting, I've, hey Sting, this is Stuart Copeland, your drummer. I've got a song

[41:00]I want to play for you. It's about my mother. Okay, let's listen to it right now. And he'd be like, what the fuck? How are we going to put this on an album? But essentially the police started as a reggae band, right? And off their first album, one of their big hits, Roxanne, you can hear the reggae. This is reggae. I mean, it just is, right? Yeah, it's like reggae rock. right? Yeah, it's like the whole tradition of punk taking from reggae. I mean, so now

[41:30]they're all of a sudden we jump forward and they're getting away from that. They're getting into world music. Sting discovers sequencers and synthesizers, which we hear a ton of on this album. And basically what you're listening to on this album is a band that is awesome musically. They can write a hit song. They can play their instruments like crazy. Stuart Copeland and the guitar player went on to, I'm sorry, Andy Summers went on to do music

[42:00]for movies, right? Super, super talented. By the way, Stuart Copeland on TikTok is a really good follow. He talks about the drumming for the police a lot and they are falling apart. They are recording this album in different rooms in a house, literally because they cannot stand to be around each other. When they mix this album, one person would be in the studio, the other two would go out skiing. Okay? Because they would get in physical fights when they were together. So let's start it out. This is a song, Synchronicity 1. This is what they opened that tour with was this song. Listen to this. I think this would be

[42:30]a baller opening. What do we call this track? This is the first titular track. Now on this album, Aaron, guess how many titular tracks we have on this album? Two seems like the right number of titular tracks, right? Any more than that, it's like martinis. Three's good, or whatever you said the first time. Synchronicity. The two titular tracks, one gets a little bit

[43:00]bigger than the other. That's fine. That's normal. Okay. Next up, we have the first song that Sting used a sequencer on, Walking in Your Footsteps. This definitely fits in with, like, what, Talking Heads, and then it feels like they're also borrowing from, you know, Yes, or prog rock from the 70s. I heard some of Paul Simon's stuff. Remember when Paul Simon kind of ripped off some of that tribal music? That's what I heard when I heard this. Yeah, it's definitely

[43:30]that world music influence. You know what I thought of when I heard this album a lot? Cocaine. I think these guys are doing copious amounts of cocaine when they made this album. Yeah, this does seem like a cocaine album. We need more beats. We need to be faster. We need to... More notes. I don't know enough about Sting. Is he most famous for The Police, or does he... Is he famous for being a solo artist, or what's he most known for? I think he's... He's famous for being Sting, right? Well, I mean, first of all,

[44:01]are we talking about Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner? Okay, which is... And you would think, oh, is that an anagram that spells out Sting? No, it's not, which would be cool. I mean, he doesn't... I don't think as a solo artist he has a bigger hit than Every Breath You Take, does he? I mean, because that's a massive... Like, that's one of the biggest hits of all time. I do think Fields of Gold is a great song. Englishman in New York? Sucks. That's it. I think it is The Police, but I think, Russell, he's like The Police. He's like... He wrote almost every hit song you can think of in The Police. And then he took a real serious turn,

[44:30]and obviously, like Bono, really takes himself seriously, so later in his solo career did stuff with, like, what, Irish musicians or something like that, and, like, really, you know. All you need to know is that the album after this was a jazz-inspired album, right? And it was named The Dream of Blue Turtles. I think that's all you need to know. You need to know right there about what Sting is up to when he's doing this. Next up, we have Oh My God. Not the Busta Rhymes version. I don't think so.

[45:01]Let's listen a little more. Yeah, let's see. You know what? I was listening to this one. I was kind of waiting for it to, like, kick into some big chorus or something. It just felt like this kind of steady beat, this steady drone. You guys get where I'm coming from with that? Feels like filler, right? I just think even though it's like a 48-minute album, some of these songs, I'm like, let's get into it faster. Like, even this song, I want you to listen to how this starts. I think this starts in the worst way any song can start in. I did not add this.

[45:30]This is a fade-in that they put in. I hate it when songs start like this. Right, what's the point of that? Just start the song. It's like you've just walked into the studio and it's like, oh my God, it's the police singing Oh My God. Like, no thanks. Yeah, it just feels like a filler track. I was left a bit underwhelmed with the first half of this. I think the second half in the middle of it is just fantastic. But the beginning left me, I was confused as to how this was so high at the beginning.

[46:00]I think I see why in the next four or five songs, but to me, it suffers from the same thing as the R.E.M. album where you're just like, well, when do we get to the real good songs? And then you hit the great songs. Like, well, these are great fucking songs. But up until then, I don't know. And here comes the king. Here's the queen bee, right? Right here, right? The bottom line is the album, this album, the foreplay is not very good. It needs a manicure. You know what I mean? And here we have Mother. Aaron, how long

[46:30]did the manicure go for? Is it like a half hour? An hour? How long does it go for? It's just the right amount of time. It was like 30 minutes. It was perfect time. Like we, you know, stopped in, had the manicure and then went out for a pre-dinner cocktail and then had dinner. It was great. Was it painful at all? I feel like it would be painful. No, no painful. No, not painful. Russell, nobody would do it if it was painful. It's terrible. It's very, I don't know. It's very mild. Now, can I ask you, Aaron, what did you get? Did you get any paint on there? Did you get it buffed? I just did the buff. Yeah, I just did it buffed. No, no, nothing.

[47:00]No tricks. Don't get the clear polish. It feels weird. That song was in 7-8 Time inspired by Captain Beefheart. Yeah. The guy that we listened to on our first run and we were all like, we all text each other about that album. We're like, I don't think we can do the podcast. This album is too fucked up. It's so weird. We're going to get there someday. Now, is he still on the list? He is, right? I don't know. I think he's off the list. I could be wrong. I thought he was like in the 400s. Matt's on it. He's looking it up.

[47:30]I'm looking. Miss Grudenko. Okay. To me, this is where the the album kind of took a turn with like catchy songs, if you will. Yeah, this one's fun. The bass is really doing some work. I don't think it's an all-timer. I don't think it's an all-timer. I don't think it makes Matt's 100 perfect song list by any means. I just think it it starts getting a little more catchy here. Yeah, I agree. I think Captain Beefheart's gone, guys. I think it's out. Wow. Off the list. Something to think about.

[48:01]About time that Rolling Stone got something right. Finally, a song about Miss Grudenko. I've been waiting years for that one. Next up, Aaron, we have our second titular track, Synchronicity 2. This song is about a guy coming home and then that he's not a great husband to be around and then that raises the Loch Ness Monster. Wow.

[48:30]I recognize this song. Do you guys recognize, do you know it from anywhere or not? Because I do. I don't know it from anywhere. The Guitar Hero? Matt, you are right. It is from Guitar Hero Encore, Rock the 80s. Wow. And this is the game that's going to be for one of our great friends, The Pleasure Principle. When he got married, on his registry was the game Guitar Hero. And I got him Guitar Hero and I got him Guitar Hero. That's how long he's been married? Good God. I got him Rock the 80s

[49:01]and Guitar Hero for The Pleasure Principle as his wedding gift. This was the game. And he's still married. It worked. And to celebrate Guitar Hero, Rock the 80s, this song, and The Pleasure Principle, I thought we could do a list of the greatest songs ever on Guitar Hero, Rock the 80s. Good one. Yes. This feels, I gotta, Russell, I love your list. Yeah. This is a little derivative. I feel like, I don't know. Nope, nope. Could be. I'll tell you, you'll have one more fan. My brother Luke

[49:30]listens to the podcast and he, I remember going to watch him compete in band, or rock band, what do you call it? Guitar Hero contest at bars. For real? That's how much he was in it. So like, there used to be a thing. It was a thing. It was a fad, man. It was a thing for a long time. Yeah. All right. So, the first song on the list, man, there was a ton of them. It's hard to eliminate. Now, can I ask you this? Can I ask you this real quick? If you're a woman and you're looking for somebody who is adept in the bedroom, a Guitar Hero contest

[50:01]has got to be a great place to go, right? You're taking a slap at it and you're just like, hmm, like that. Hold on. Hey, Rob, riff for a few minutes. Let me pull something up. Riff. Okay. You know, just riff on fingers and guitars and ladies and just see what you come up with. Just, just. Well, it would make you come, Aaron. I mean, it would make them come so fast because they would stimulate their G-spot and clitoris. I wanted to give you guys the categories from Guitar Hero the 80s and see what you thought of these, these category names. Okay. Let's hear it.

[50:30]We had the Relentless Riffs. Yes. Return of the Shred. Yes. So good. Rob, we had Opening Licks. Okay. That's, that's maybe more for people who have been married so long. We had the Amp Warmers Encore. Oh. And we had the Furious Fretwork. Oh. Wow. I mean, that's, I mean, the Furious Fretwork is the only thing that works on me anymore, really. Rob, was that worth beat you riffing for a few seconds

[51:00]when I asked? Russell, that was so good. You'll know when you listen back, Russell. All right. So here are the greatest songs from Guitar Hero Rock the 80s. This goes out to Matt's brother. Enjoy this list. The first song is from 1980. It's from the Go-Go's We Got, The Beat. And I've got a few cues for you, I think, but you got the part of the song you guys know, but I'm also going to give you the guitar solo. So that's the first song. Everyone knows this part of the song. Maybe pull up that guitar solo.

[51:30]Yeah, I wouldn't have picked this as a... Oh, nice. Kind of a groove, right? Right. It's got a little Pulp Fiction feel to me. Whatever that song is. It goes... No, no, no, no, no, no. And actually, the Go-Go's were signed in 1980 by IRS Records by Miles Copeland, who also managed The Police. Wow. Oh, my God. Great, Russell. Russell, can we just... Can we pause for a second? I'm trying to think of a joke for We Got, The Beat. I just can't. I can't do it.

[52:00]It's impossible. Sorry, guys. I will say that song made it to number two in 1982 behind one song. Do you guys want to guess what it was behind? Some Michael Jackson. Purple Rain. It was behind another great female artist. I Love Rock. Rock and Roll. You're right, Rob. You got it. It was behind I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett. Nice. Nice work, Rob. All right. Next song on the list is from 1984. This is the band Rat. The song is Round and Round. Yes.

[52:32]And is that Rat with two T's? It is with two T's. And, Rob, maybe you can pull up the guitar solo real quick, too. This would be a good song if two overweight people got married. Like, you're rocking this on the Guitar Hero. Magic Brother, you're winning that contest at the bar. That was a pretty good solo, yeah. I love these videos where bands are just disrupting a dinner party

[53:01]like that was the video. My understanding is Milton Berle plays the uncle in the Rat video. Wow. And we all know what he's famous for, right? It bends where other people's end. Yeah. Noted for having a giant dong. You know, we've made quite a ways into this. I may have been deceived by the internet. Oh, no, she is a rat. She's not turning into a rat, right? She is. Can you guys, can you guys imagine how big your dong must be

[53:30]for everyone in the country to know that before the internet? Like, think of how that would get around before the internet. Like, you would have to call people and be like, hey, you know that Uncle Melty guy? He's got a huge dong. Pass it on. Like, everybody in the country knows that. Your pants ripping that gets played on this podcast on a regular basis. On a regular basis. I mean, she's kind of like dancing around in a new costume with like a rat leg. Yeah, this is definitely an oversell by the internet. I love the idea of us getting burned that this woman did not turn into a rat. We just watched a whole video hoping to see that.

[54:00]All right, next song on the list is from 1989. The band is Skid Row. The song is 18 and Life. 18 and Life to go. Great song, right? Great song. So good. I love, like, I love these songs that, like, Skid Row was scary to me. Like, when I was in grade school, right? Like, I felt like Skid Row was like, that music is harsh. You listen to this now and you're like, these are beautiful melodies. This is a great pop song. Well, what's great about these songs, I love songs that automatically sound

[54:30]like you're in a giant stadium. Yeah. Like, literally, the stadium rock sound. It's so great. Do you guys know the guitarist's name for that band? Dave Snake Sabo. What a great name for a guitarist, right? That's a great guitarist's name. Yeah. And actually, this guy was part of Bon Jovi's original lineup and got replaced by Richie Sambora. So this guy was supposed to be in Bon Jovi. He got swapped out. Do you think Dave the Snake had a small penis

[55:01]and that's how he got that nickname? He's the opposite. He's the opposite of Uncle Miltie. Next song on the list is from 1988. The band is Poison. I don't think we've ever talked Poison. The song is nothing but a good time. Great song, right? Just an anthem. Poison's like a top three or four 80s hair metal. Totally. Yes. And the thing is, they're not looking for anything

[55:30]but a good time. That's all they want. Yeah. And you know how this video ends? They get their watch fixed. I mean, is Every Rose Has Its Thorn? Is there a better song from the 80s than Every Rose has outside of Guns N' Roses? No. Wait, I remember the album I had with that on it was the Monster Ballads. Remember Monsters of Rock and Monsters of Ballads? Yep. That was on Monster Ballads and it was a must listen. You're spot on, Matt. This was also on Monster Ballads.

[56:00]I was working on the podcast I've got my jokes to write when I realized Also the scariest song ever. We're not that far away from the scariest songs. We are not that far. I thought of that the other day. I go, well, it's always October. I better go. You better start thinking of scary songs. The annual scary songs list. I have something for you guys and also something from Barry from Burnsville. Did you guys know that Poison originally interviewed or had someone audition to be the guitar player?

[56:30]It was Slash. Slash got beat out by the guitar player who ended up being with Poison, CeCe DeVille and Slash was unsure of, hey, I don't know if I want to do the whole glam rock thing or whatever, wear all the makeup and everything, but how different would the world be if Slash would have been in Poison and not GNR? Very different, right? I mean, listen to that. I mean, that's an amazing, you're rocking out to guitar here on that. That's fantastic. The phaser on the drums,

[57:00]so good. Matt's brother, you're crushing that one at the bar. You're winning the contest, right? Winning. I was always bummed because you never saw those glam rock bands just have like one fat member. You know what I mean? Like maybe the bass player is in there. He's in tights and everything, but he's just really fat. And you're like, well, that may also have to do with the cocaine, right? That's true. Those are all the death metal guys, the big headbanger types. Like the leather pants just don't quite fit up all the way, Rob. They just kind of

[57:30]are hanging down around the ass just a little bit. All right, last song on the list is from 1983. The band is Quiet Riot. The song is called Metal Health, otherwise known as Bang Your Head. I did not know this song had another title. I just always knew it was Bang Your Head. Bang Your Head. It's called Metal Health. I never knew that. No, I didn't know that. This is when my kids would come up to me when they were younger and they'd go, I banged my head. I would say, Metal Health could drive you mad, so you got to be careful. In 1983,

[58:00]Quiet Riot became the first American metal to have a debut album reach number one. The song also reached number one. It got replaced. Who do you think it got replaced by? The police. The police? Yes. Oh, this album made it to number one and it got replaced by the police at the synchronicity at number one. Wow. Russell, think about this. That's some synchronicity right there. You're a woman at a bar. You see somebody up there doing this solo at a video game. You know,

[58:31]there's something about 80s guitar solos that just crush, isn't there? Yes. I will say, there was one thing I learned about rock hero or guitar hero rock the 80s. People gave it bad reviews because you paid 50 bucks for it and there were only 30 songs. People thought the song to cost ratio was not right. It should have been more songs for 50 bucks. That was another. Russell, the problem is is that when you buy that,

[59:01]you're looking oh, yeah, shit. I talked over the thing. I couldn't come up with a joke and I talked over the sound clip. No, that has to come up with a joke, Rob. We trust you. Hey, Rob, we won't, we won't kill time while you think of one. It's something, nothing but a good time, but I can't think of a joke that goes with it, so this is going to have to be a creative edit. Next up, of course, we have Every Breath You Take. Now, I got a lot to say about this song. Go for it.

[59:31]You don't like it or what? Go off. No, no, no, no, no. There's just so much. This won best song of the year, best pop performance to a duo group. It lost record of the year to who? Guess who? Matt. Guess who, Matt? Yes. No. The Manhattan Transfer. Michael Jackson, who won eight Grammys that year for Thriller. Yeah. This is the police's only U.S. number one song. Okay.

[60:00]This is not the guess who. No. And this is the number one Sting. A couple of years ago, 30% of his income came from that song. It is the number one. Oh, because of the remix. Because of P. Diddy, right? Yes. And so EMI said that that is now their number one grossing song in their whole catalog kicking out Oh, kicking out Righteous Brothers You've Lost That Loving Feeling.

[60:30]So he got an award. Are we not going to play Puff Daddy? Come on. What do you guys know it for? The police version or the Puff Daddy version? Well, both. No, police. Guys, come on. I mean, every breath. But I mean, I mean, yes, but no, I immediately think of the, the Puff Daddy version as soon as I hear it. I hated this song. Oh, come on. I hated Puff Daddy's version of it. I did. Everything that Puff Daddy There has to be a point where P. Diddy's dancing in all white clothes like my painter suit when I was a kid, right? It's kind of like lurching forward. Yes. This video is something.

[61:01]He's on the Microsoft screensaver. This brings you back to a point in life, right? In a leather jacket. You don't want to be one of those producers who's all up on the records. Yeah. And it's, and what's really funny is that, you know, he's singing this song. You know who he's singing this song about? Biggie, right? Biggie Smalls. Oh, okay. There we go. I mean, it's just so funny that he's like, I miss you so much and Biggie's like drinking pickle juice. I don't know

[61:30]which one to stop here first. It's very confusing. Where is this video being shot, by the way? Iowa, it looks like, right? It looks, yeah. Probably looks like a community where they gamble illegally on football. Oh, geez. Yeah. Turns out it's too hilly. Get in. That's all they got him for. Good job. I think at the end, Puff Daddy turns around and waves to all the sick kids. Oh, geez. I actually heard Aaron made a comment that there was going to be someone at the Cy Hawk game this weekend who had a lot of criminal charges and I didn't know if it was a politician or just all the players

[62:00]that have been gambling on football recently. Well, or both. Maybe both. Maybe both. One of those persons' charges have been settled. That's it. The legal part is done. All they got him for was underage gambling. They had to pay a $645 ticket and that's the whole thing. Like, good job, state of Iowa. Underage gambling? Yeah, that's all they got him for. Did you guys ever do any underage gambling when you were kids? Any poker games in the basement or anything? Oh, poker games in the basement for sure. With quarters, yeah.

[62:30]Actually, you know, I don't know if I ever told you guys this. In between. Did you guys ever play in between as kids? Oh, that's the game, yes. That's the worst. It's the best and the worst all at the same time. I don't know that one. And any game where you potentially have to like pay double the pot, whether it's guts or in between or any of those, those were the ones that just killed you as a kid, right? I'll tell you, if I had to pay a $625 fine, I would simply bet the under on Iowa about $300 and have that covered. No problem. Not a big deal. God, he's been saving that

[63:00]for so long. If you'd have your wife take your used headphones to the pawn shop, you'd be covered. I thought underage gambling for Rob was that time in high school where he had a milkshake before he had to stand up in front of class and give a speech. It's a gamble. We gambled on Mario Kart in high school. Like we did. I thought underage gambling was when Rob brought both Jennys to a football game and had them both bring burritos. That was a gamble that paid off. You didn't even have to edit that one in, Rob. You nailed it. You know what?

[63:30]I had some of my grown up friends, the complimentary movie club, one or two of them, at least one of them was part of this. We did the thing where we played, we used to play poker in someone's basement all the time. We did this thing where we played where we set the deck. First hand coming out is like four aces versus a royal flush. So you've got like the one kid who like goes and gets, he's like going back to his house to get more money to like go all in or whatever that he loses four aces to the royal flush

[64:00]in a set deck. Thoughts? That's called a scam, Russell. Like you're running a scam. When Russell, like this happened, like this happened. That's what happened in undergrad when like Russell would just like tell stories about his neighborhood growing up and you'd just be like, those things never occurred to me. Like these people, they were playing a different game down there where Russell grew up. Like they were smart. They were too fucking smart with nothing to do. I would be a little suspicious

[64:30]though if I was playing a game with Russell and I like, I had a, you know, a royal flush firsthand. I'd be like, wait a minute. This seems very strange. He's sitting there in his cowboy hat. I'd be like, I don't know about this. Next up, this is a game This is the second single off this album. This got all the way up to number three on the chart. King of Pain. I love the melody on this song. I think it's so good. This song, he wrote this after he and his wife got a divorce and he said, you know, I had to think of things

[65:00]that caused me pain and that's what I wrote the song about. Now, what he doesn't say is that he left his wife for his wife's best friend and everybody hated him for it. But it's so great. The story is old as time. It's so great that Sting was like, well, I better dump my wife for her best friend and I'm going to write a hit song about it. And play the victim. Good job, Sting. So I wanted to ask you guys, your wife got any hot best friends? What? Does your wife

[65:31]have hot best friends? Gay? All of them. They're all gorgeous. Robo, would you rather have your wife leave you for like a complete stranger or your best friend? She only hangs out with tens. My wife, would it leave me for a stranger or my best friend? What would hurt more? I would love to see Matt married to my wife. I think that'd be great. So I'm going to go with best friend. Matt has his eyes that are real big. He's like, huh? You know, I'd try that out for you, Rob. That'd be all right.

[66:00]At least he would end his time on the podcast, right? Here's the thing. Here's the thing you always think about. I don't always think about this, but you think about it when somebody leaves their wife for their best friend. How does the husband, the new husband and the best friend now wife, how do they ever trust each other? Because they both cheated to get to that relationship. So, I mean, aren't you always looking, just kind of looking over your shoulder for whoever the next hot best friend is? I think you just have to accept that if it happens to you again,

[66:30]what goes around comes around, right? Yeah. My key is that the guys I hang out with are just ugly as dog shit. My wife will never cheat on me. Okay? There's at least two of them that take offense to me. Because obviously my wife's big thing that she's attracted to is looks. Like, Rob, can you imagine like your wife cheats with a guy that like can't squat 145 pounds? Right? Like literally can't deadlift the bar. I think that's the worst, right? Is if your wife

[67:00]cheats on you and it's a guy that looks just like you. You'd be like, what? This doesn't make sense. Or that plays the organ. Oh, God. All right. Moving on. Wrapped around your finger. Oh, speaking of fingers. This might be our best episode yet. I mean, this album has hit its stride in the last five songs, right? Yeah. And I just cut off the first half. And I think what you're hearing is Sting being like,

[67:30]okay, let me write some songs here. This was a spiteful song about turning the tables to somebody who has been in control. It kind of sounds like Sting is being a little bit of a, a little bit of a brat. Okay. He doesn't want to do what that person in control is telling him to do. Stingy. Stingy. Tommy. I don't want to be rescued by RoboCop. I got to say, Rob, I appreciate you putting that best of together because I had no idea where you guys have been talking about brats for a month.

[68:01]I had no idea where that came from. I listened to the best of episode and there, oh yeah, that's where it came from. Tea in the Sahara. I think this is kind of pretends what we're going to see with Sting after this where he's like, I can do jazz too. Pissing off everybody in jazz by doing that. You know, this actually inspired me to open up a book of mine. The book is Booze and Vinyl 2 and the police and synchronicity is in Booze and Vinyl 2. Oh my gosh. This is crazy.

[68:30]I got to find this page. I don't even know where it is anymore. It's been so long. I got to ask you guys first before we get to my drink, Booze and Vinyl, as you know, always says, hey, when do you drop the needle on this? When would you guys drop the needle on this album? When would you listen? When would you listen to it? Probably if I had to for a podcast, even though school is starting this week and I didn't have much time to listen to it. Okay, so I can't just listen to the good song. You can't because of Mother. It's kind of like a, I think it would be a decent party album actually if it was like people were up moving around drinking some drinks, but you'd have to figure out how to skip Mother.

[69:00]You can't have it on vinyl. Imagine you go to Aaron's house for a party and you walk in and this is playing and you'd be like, yep, this is just what I thought a party at Aaron's house would be like. He's like, we're on the floor with my kid playing Legos. Well, according to Andre and Tania Darlington, you drop the needle right before you break out some comfy blankets. Don't forget to smudge some sage. I mean, okay. What the fuck are you talking about, Russell? I don't know. First of all,

[69:30]almost all blankets are comfy. Are we sitting on the blankets? You want me to sit on the floor? No. No. Fuck no. Come on. Let's not sit on the fucking floor for anything. I would rather switch sides of the bed with my wife than sit on the floor. For any given amount of time. Well, for on side B of this album, they do suggest a drink. The drink is called Tea in the Sahara. Tea in the Sahara. Have you ever had that before? No. Only Tea in the Sahara. The guy who was drinking straight vermouth just said no. So I don't think any of us have had Tea in the Sahara. It is a soothing and sultry cocktail.

[70:00]I'm going to tell you what's in it. We have two ounces of brandy. Nice. Tablespoon of honey. Okay. A lemon wheel for garnish. And the real question, do I have this? Six ounces of brewed mint tea. Six ounces of tea? Brewed. Wow. Mint. Aaron, let's think, does Russ have any tea? No. Russell does not have tea. He might have been able to step at the gas station and pick up some tea

[70:30]in a bottle. Lipton's iced tea and heat it up. I've actually heard from some people that you have low tea. Is that true? Oh, no way. Is this meant to be served hot then? Yeah. So actually, I have a drink tonight. I'm drinking tea in the Sahara, as you can see with a Kohl's bug here. Oh, he's got it. Part of having a co-tenant is they know how to make tea. I've never drank a glass of tea in my life. This is the first drink I've ever had that has a tea bag in the drink. Russell,

[71:01]let's hear you take a sip on Mike. We've got to hear this. Am I supposed to take the tea bag out or is he just sitting there the whole time? How long has the tea bag been in there, Russell? Take it out or no? Russell, I'm just going to ask, how long has it been in there? Since we started the episode. Is it supposed to come out? Yeah, after five minutes. No, I think it's going to be fine. That's normal. Don't worry about it. It takes me like five minutes. Russell, have a drink and we'll tell you. I mean, it can't. What's it going to do to you, right? It's just going to taste strong. Russell,

[71:30]I'm just going to say I've drank two monsters so far. I think I'm getting more caffeine than I had. Well, Russell, you know what I'll say? My co-tenant was nice enough to make me the tea to go to my Sahara, tea in the Sahara, but I had the choice. She said, well, it calls for mint tea, but it might be a better drink if you have cinnamon tea. And guess what I chose? Mint. Mint? I bet you picked mint. I bet you're like, I chose the cinnamon tea. That sounds way better than mint. What do you think?

[72:00]What's the verdict? Well, it's been sitting here for an hour cooling down with a tea bag in it that I didn't know was supposed to be in it. I don't know. I don't know. That's his response. Hey, you see this book? What a great book. I'm showing it to you guys in the Zoom right now. It looks fantastic. Russell, that is so funny. Wow, that's so good. Russell, do you check each episode whether Booze and Vinyl has this album in it? I try to. If I get a chance, I try to check

[72:30]if it's in the album. I will say that, Matt, I was disappointed because I know we've got Pearl Jam coming up next week. Pearl Jam, not in either Booze and Vinyl 1 or 2. I thought that was an opportunity. An abomination. It's probably very grungy that it's not. I'm mad about what, yeah, I guess like the drink of Pearl Jam would be like an Olympia or a Rainier. I think Tea in the Sahara sounds a little bit like Sade. I feel like that's where they're like trading influences with other sort of like groovy, jazzy English bands. English bands in New York. Nailed it.

[73:00]Murder by Numbers. I'm an English band. I forgot. I didn't pick. The thing is with this album, I didn't pick time signatures and every song starts like this. Oh my God. Let's go forward a little bit and see what it really sounds like. Almost like a drummer is in charge of the beat. This is a good one. A catchy number if you can get to it, right? Yes, for sure. You're right. We should just chop this album in half. Perfect.

[73:30]It's a perfect. It's a nice little EP, right? We don't care about the albums. We care where it goes on the list. So let's get to our rating system. And now it's time for everybody's favorite part of the show. The passionate and very popular Beck Did It Better rating system. Oh yeah. All right. Okay. This album is at 159. Okay.

[74:00]And I think we have to compare this album to our favorite Murphys. Okay. Is this album a role? Did it get rolling boned like the Dropkick Murphys? It should be higher up in the list like the Dropkick Murphys. It should be. They're so good. That would be rolling boned. If you think this album is perfect right where it is at 159, moms would love it. Then we're going to give it a Murphy Brown. Okay. That's just like moms

[74:30]love Murphy Brown. I watch almost every episode of Murphy Brown. Could not tell you what happened in one episode or why I watched it. It was for adults. It made no sense to me why I watched it. Could you even tell us what like, what was the purpose? What was Murphy Brown? What was the, if you could explain Murphy Brown in a sentence, what was the plot of that show? She was on a news show with her producer, Miles. That's literally, and Cookie or Corky, her like dim sidekick. And then she had Dan Quayle on for some reason when he's misspelled potato and everybody thought that was bad politics.

[75:00]Ah, what a joke that was. Now, is or is this just like a Murphy that got rolling groaned because he got his body blown away by the gangs? Murphy. Okay. What's your name? Robocop? Murphy. Okay. You guys don't watch as much Robocop as I do, but that of course is the famous last line from the movie Robocop where again, I want to remind you the movie ends 30 seconds after you throw somebody out the window. Very satisfied. I have to say Robocop was a movie that my neighbor had

[75:30]and I remember it being on at a sleepover. Like remember when your neighbors, they'd have movies that you didn't have and you always thought it was kind of weird. Like I'm never, I'm not really into Robocop, but their family really is. It's kind of a weird thing to watch like at a sleepover as a kid, right? Hey, watch him drive this van through the toxic waste and get totally mutated. Oh, time for bed. Have fun going to bed on the floor. Yeah. Have fun not raiding that pantry. Or if your friend is lucky, if he was my friends, all of my friends growing up, of course, had, and it brings us to our waterbed corner.

[76:00]All of my friends growing up had waterbeds, so I am now sleeping on waterbeds. Aaron, we've talked about our neighborhood. We had the incident at a sleepover once with a kid with the red, the sleeping bag that may have wet the bag. Can't get enough. Where it leaves like the red stain on the white carpet. Oh. So then at every sleepover in the neighborhood for like the next, you know, as long as we were kids, there were always sheets going down under anyone's sleeping bags on the off chance that someone had a problem. Oh, man. That was the greatest part

[76:30]about sleeping in a waterbed. You could piss yourself like crazy and you could just be like, must be a leak. I gotta go. All right. Rolling well-toned, rolling boner, rolling groan at 159. Aaron, what do you think? Synchronicity. Synchronicity. Yeah, there's some high, good highlights here. Every Breath You Take is a great song. Wrapped Around Your Finger is a great song, but there's just too many skippers on here for me. I'm gonna have to give it a rolling groan. Just like the Barbie movie. Some skippers.

[77:00]Too many skippers. Matt, rolling well-toned, rolling boner, rolling groan. What do you think? I'd like to give it a Murphy Brown and saying it's rolling well-toned here, but we are listening to 10 next and 10 is way better than this album, so I have to say it's slightly... Hard to argue with that. Not Dropkick Murphys. What was the other Murphy? Murphy. Murphy. From RoboCop. That was his name. Murphy, RoboCop. So it's slightly Murphied. All right. Slightly Murphied. That's our new scale. We gotta stick with it

[77:30]for the next 100 or so episodes. Russell, rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan? What do you think? I was torn. The first half of this I thought was terrible. I thought it was so just kind of meh. There was nothing memorable about it or anything, but then you hit your stride, Miss Grudenko, Synchronicity 2, Every Breath You Take, King of Pain. These are all fantastic songs. These are commercial hits. I love them. I can see why this was way up there at number one for so long in the early 80s. I just think you guys mentioned it. Both Aaron and Matt said it. There's too much filler

[78:00]on here for me, so I'm gonna say a slight rolling groan and touching on Matt's thing, what we got coming up next to me blows this away. So I'm gonna say it's a slight rolling groan, Rob? Lower on the list? It's a slight, yeah. This rolling groan should be lower on the list, which of course is a higher number. All right. You know what? The other thing I'll say? Yes. God dang, that mother song is like, if you're listening to this the first time and you're trying to give this album a chance, I could see how that

[78:31]would be very off-putting and get you out of it before you ever get to the murderer's row of songs in this album, right? I forgot what that sounds like. Let's put that out there. Put that back on. I forget what it is. Rob, the telephone is ringing. Rob, is that your mother on the phone? It's not funny. I don't like this. I don't like this bit. Rob, my telephone is screaming. Here, let's get to the... How is this on the same album as Every Breath You Take?

[79:00]That is shocking to me. Well, it feels like it's the one song that Andy Summers got to write. Yeah. They threw it on there. Can you imagine you're mixing this album and you sit down and you get to this song and you're like, seriously, we're seriously putting this on the album. Like, we're going to do this. It's kind of like what Rob lets me do a parody every couple years. You guys are incorrect, unfortunately. Okay. This gets a rolling... Again. This gets a rolling implosion. Implosion? You can hear this band imploding throughout this album.

[79:31]This album is a mismatchio and I'll tell you, we're talking Pearl Jam next. That album is so much better constructed and has kind of a theme coming through it with the sound. It sounds good. It's a consistent sound for the old album. This thing is just three guys that happened to be playing in a band for the last time and you can hear it on the album. It's way, way down and then way, way up. It's all over the place. Okay. And it's just a shame when you get these guys working together and doing something creative

[80:01]and they end up hating each other forever. Can't imagine that happening to anyone else. Okay. I'll say it again. Next up, we talked about the Loch Ness Monster earlier but this band is actually, this next band is actually has a front man who's a cryptid. Yeah. It's a Yeti Vedder with Pearl Jam 10. I don't even know what a cryptid is. When you want to hear about the greatest Yeti Vedder.

[80:30]Oh, if you don't know what a cryptid was, you were not in the same section of the public library growing up that I was. Apparently not. Rob, can I share my screen or no? Yeah, I think so. I've got to somehow pull up Zoom. Zoom changed some stuff. Beck did it better. I was on a call with a famous singer in the past that tried to turn back time and you know what she tried to do to my screen? She tried to share her screen too.

[81:01]So I'm sharing a screen. Here is the target field with the wet down field. Look at it. Right by home plate is nice and nice and light like a normal baseball field. Different dirt. Look at this dirt. But if you go to target field on a different day, that looks like a baseball field. Wow. What's the difference? I don't know. You pulled from the one part of this podcast that everyone wanted to hear more of. Yeah. This is going to get some angry calls. You already knew that though. You were ready. You're prepared for it. You already knew. I would never invite

[81:31]antagonism. That being said, I do need to show you this real quick. Is it the rat video again? Because I don't think that lady turns into a rat. It's a part where it's a part where it's a part where Robocop evolves into a rat. I literally have never seen Robocop. I don't think so. I haven't either. Yeah. Are you guys fucking serious? We went this far and you haven't seen Robocop. It was one of the neighbor movies that we never had. He's half man, half machine, but you know what? He's all cop. We have you up. Matt, you a Robocop guy?

[82:01]Jones is wanted for murder. Nope. Never seen it. This is absurd. You guys fucking serious? You don't get any of my jokes? I've made so many Robocop jokes. You're the weird neighbor. You had the bilk man. That's an officer of this company. Dr. Jones, Robocop, brownie mix, the cake mix. You're the weird neighbor. I didn't eat cake mix. We've covered this. Disco balls everywhere. Passport this a little more. The chopper with my hot sauce. Well, so now I'm showing you the end of Robocop. I feel bad doing this if you guys have ever seen it, but oh well. At this point. You're fired!

[82:30]Thank you. He elbows him and then blows him away through the glass. I would assume. One other thing my co-tenant has noted to me is that when we do watch shows together, I tend to laugh at things that aren't supposed to be funny. Oh no. A super like pilot thing, I find that to be entertaining. I think I laugh at it. Like the cow in No Brother. Yeah. Why wouldn't you laugh

[83:00]at them shooting those cows? Here's the line that will explain my joke. Okay? Shoot him, son. What's your name? Murphy. Huh? The payoff is there, folks. It's worth it. Murphy.