Steely Dan: Can’t Buy A Thrill (1972)

[00:00]No, not tonight, guys. It's going to be... Have you guys seen the Adolis Garcia? My buddy sent me this Adolis Garcia thing where it says, it's a link, San Francisco Chronicle, a test positive for PEDs. You click on it, and it's this just huge dude with a huge dick. Is it Larry? Is it Larry? What's the guy's... Barry. Is it Barry? It's not people... This is a complimentary movie, guys. Can you imagine, though, just before we clap here, can you imagine having a dick so big that just everybody...

[00:32]When you say a guy sitting... Was he sitting on a bed, Russell? Yes. Yeah, okay, see? It's Barry. Your dick is so big that you're the meme for big dicks. That's life would just be incredible. People would see you on the street, and they would know one thing about you. You have an enormous wang. Oh, yeah, I'm a big dick guy. Yeah. Rob, Google it. Barry ornaments. I'm like the meme for heart disease or something like that, right? I'm the guy. They put it at the bottom. It's the bottom of a CNN article, and it's not quite a real article,

[01:01]but it's the one that says, Americans overweight. And then you click on it, and it's like you got to click 25 times to get to the punchline, but I'm that picture. Your doctor won't tell you this about eating too much butter. There's a picture of Russell that's like, Shit. That's a bummer. Okay, meanwhile, this guy's like, Oh, my cock is so big that I've got... Look at this. Yes, you can get ornaments. Look at that, Russell. I know. I was going to order one. You want a holiday ornament? Oh, yes. He's got the presents.

[01:32]I was going to order one from Matt from Woodbury. Oh, my God. It's such a good idea. I mean, it's right. And it's right in... You know what the funny thing is? The packages. So the big dick guy is sitting... Now, I want to point out a couple things about this picture. Number one, the big dick guy, and we all know who we're talking about, which is a thing. Like, it's crazy. It feels good. It feels good. I'm not going to lie. He's got a Santa hat on. He's sitting on a throne. But he also has a Santa belt on.

[02:00]Like, that's something that is not always associated with Santa, but it should be. Because look at that belt. You know it's a Santa belt because why that buckle is so tall. Nobody knows. Santa, for some reason, has the tallest belt. Santa's wearing, like, a weightlifting belt. He looks like Jenny going somewhere in Europe. He's got a big-ass weightlifting belt bringing around a huge, tall buckle. Then he's wearing boots. The big dick guy is wearing boots. It's crazy. And then he's got a bag of packages in front of him. But guess what, Aaron? The packages are small. They're small. In an ironic twist. You would think the packages would be big.

[02:30]This is the first time podcast Rob has ever shown up before we're actually recording. He's already podcast Rob. He's already podcast Rob. Count it, Matt. I'm producer Rob. Producer Rob. Yeah. On four. The real me. One, two, three, four. You know, that's the way it is, though, right? We go right from talking about big dick Halloween costumes to big dick Christmas ornaments. I mean, guys. Yeah. What about big dick Thanksgiving? You know what I mean? Everybody forgets about that. We just want to skip it on by. The least sexy holiday of them all.

[03:02]You know what? I thought Arbor Day was. Arbor Day? Are you kidding me? Arb-us Day? Arb-him Day? Huh? What about Arb-him Day? Way unsexy. So much farting. Like, there's just no way. Oh, yeah. You got to hit it in the morning, that one. Hey, you know what I want to do? Have some stuffing. I'm going to put some gravy on it. And then we're going to go have sex for like 45 minutes. I mean, you can't think of anything worse like accommodation. You know what I mean? It's like, how about pumpkin pie and reverse cowgirl?

[03:32]Like, those two things, they do not go together. You know what I mean? I thought this was going to be a clean episode. Hey, sit on my face and tell me what's going on in the Lions game. Oh. All right. Rob, because you couldn't see. What about like Thanksgiving Day and Upside Down or Upside Down 69 or whatever you used to call that? Well, are you talking about... Oh, God. What was it? Yeah, it's like sweet potatoes and I'm holding her up 69.

[04:02]You know what I mean? Like, none of that goes together. It doesn't make any sense. Pass those biscuits. I got business to take care of over here. Yeah, pass the biscuits. Rob on top this time. Okay? Rob, I got to cough today. You're going to have to mute a lot, especially if I laugh hard, so. Okay. Well, I'll try not to make you laugh. Yeah. All right. No laughing episode. In 2020. Remember when we did that for one of our first ones?

[04:30]We were like, okay, let's mute out all the laughs. And then it was like, no, this is a ghost town. This is very bad. I thought you were going to say the Johnny Cash episode two weeks ago. Oh, why? Was there no laughs in that one? We better just move on. We're supposed to keep Rob in a good frame of mind tonight. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one... No, next album. Next week. Come on. Next week. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the audience, Whoa, did you guys see that? I just saw there was a flash of light.

[05:02]There was rivets. Door opens. Russell, guess what pours out of the door? Smoke. And it was Aaron from about two hours from now talking about the next episode. That was crazy. Okay. But I did give him a little kissy. So Aaron, get ready for that. In about two hours, you're going to get a kissy. Robert, you sure that smoke wasn't froth? You see that froth on that drink there? Russell. Gosh. Russell, now that is a, that is a espresso martini. I mean, that's... Hey, Rob. But the one I did before was an ultimate fail.

[05:30]You see the lack of froth there? Oh, no. You got two of them? You got two of them lined up? One of them was a fail. I've got a major espresso martini problem right now. And it's, it's, I make one. And if it's no froth, I just pound it and then go make another one to try to get the froth right. I saw a major espresso martini strip in Kansas City, I think once. I saw it in Fort Pierre. That's the problem is going to be at four o'clock tomorrow morning when you're awake, but also drunk and dry. Oh, why can't I sleep? And why do I have such diarrhea?

[06:01]You know what I mean? Russell, who's never drank coffee, is like, why do I have so much diarrhea? It's so, so strange. I was asking the upstairs roommate earlier, I was showing her the failed espresso martini with the no froth. And I said, if, let's say this was like our, you know, third, fourth date, I invited you over. I'm like, you know, I'm actually like a home bartender. I'm going to make you an espresso martini. And I roll up with a no froth espresso martini. Like, she's got to leave, right? Fireball offense. Yep. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to make you a whiskey sour, but I don't have any egg whites.

[06:31]I'd be like. I'm just going to put the yolk in, right? Oh, God, no, Russell. That's not the same. Big Johnson. I'm just going to put the yolk in. Big Johnson. No, that's no. That's from the past. That time machine just went back to the past and said, hey. Big Johnson martini, espresso martini making. Just the yolk. No, no, you guys just missed it. I just took a time machine back to the past where I told Rob, hey, make some Big Johnson jokes on the podcast. They're going to seem so funny that night. And then when you edit them, you realize you really didn't have that many jokes. Kind of sad, actually.

[07:00]Podcast. We are all far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 168. Hey, you do me and I'll owe you one. And from 1972. What? You owe him 100 now. Oh, my God. I would owe them so much. Oh, I would hate that. Well, if it's during the Lions game, it's okay.

[07:32]Well, I know this would be during the Cowboys game later. And from 1972, it's the only album ever made about not being able to put the price on a ghost. Can't buy ethereal. Can't buy ethereal. Are you saying ethereal? You know what? I swear to God, somebody has the fucking Alexa on. Somebody has the fucking Alexa on. Who has an Alexa on out in the living room? Everyone has went to bed, but they left on the Alexa,

[08:00]knowing that I'm going to do a podcast. Okay? You know what they're trying to do? They're trying to get us a copyright strike. They want us to hear the music that's playing in the background. This is terrible. Just wait. So I've got these two espresso martinis, and now I got to decide which one do I drink. The one that is like sad and pathetic on the left, or the one that's kind of sad and pathetic, but has a little bit of froth on the right. You start with the good one. It's just like anything else. You start your night with a Coors Banquet, and then you go to Coors Light. But the froth, it'll last for a while, Aaron. If I let the good one sit there, an hour from now, it'll still look like a good one.

[08:31]Are you sure, though? But it's going to be warm. Then you're going to be drinking a warm espresso martini. Oof. That's just coffee now. It turns out, Russell, you do drink coffee. As if I had a standard over here, I guess. Rob, shut that Alexa off. We've got to get going here. You cannot say warm espresso martini. I almost pooped in my pants. Please don't say that again. And for the listeners at home, it's been about 10 episodes since, Rob's had pants on, but he does have pants on this episode. Oh, special night.

[09:00]Special. Did you go out tonight or something? I had to go turn off that Alexa. Nobody cares about audio fidelity anymore. Nobody cares about privacy. Okay, so I don't think I said my joke. Can't buy Ethereal. Nailed it. Okay? Doesn't make as much sense when it's pronounced like that, but can't believe I didn't get to that joke earlier. Okay? Maybe we heard a little bit. Or a beep. All right. Let's, guys, let's listen. Sneaky beat of the week. Let's not talk about ghosts. Halloween, it's over.

[09:30]And I'll say it again. November 1st, you give a kid's bunch of candy from your doorway, you get in huge trouble. It's like one day later. I don't get it. One day later. Doesn't make any sense. All right. Let's stop talking about the spooky stuff. Let's turn on the radio. Let's talk about Autumn. Steely Dan is who the band is, who did Ethereal. Welcome to K-Rob. K-R-O-B.

[10:01]You know, I've got some people coming over to my house today. The landscapers are coming over to trim the bush. Oh. Yeah, but they have to be careful because I've got a couple beavers on my property. You know, I just got my wife a pearl necklace. I think she's going to love it. Oh, no. She was surprised because the package wasn't that big. They said it's hard and the word it starts with a B and they said it is real. It's real knobby and it would be so hard for me.

[10:31]They said something is sucky and it never will go down. Will your friend and you be coming? We are all headed downtown. Rob refuses to be the dirtiest on the show. Oh, don't do it. Not going to do it. No matter how much you do it. We'll laugh it at the funny joke. No matter if someone mentions Aerosmith videos.

[11:06]Rob won't mention how he jacked off to it after school. What do you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time? I made that song a week ago. That joke got me good. You guys know what I love more than anything else. My jokes. Did you have any favorite like blockbuster rentals back in the day or anything? Like showgirls or striptease or anything like that or not?

[11:33]You know what I always wanted to rent and never did was just meatballs based on the video. Wasn't meatballs the one where like the guy was taking off a swimsuit with a hook and I was like, this seems like a movie that's right up my alley. That's one I never saw. But it was like, that was one of those where like the kids whose parents would let them watch dirty movies. It was like, oh, we saw meatballs over at Eric's house. Yeah. Russell, have you ever, why am I asking you guys? Have you ever seen me? If you guys have seen meatballs and not RoboCop or Gremlins, that's going to be crazy. Russell, you ever seen meatballs?

[12:00]No, I haven't seen it. Should we do a $5 pay to watch episode where we watch meatballs together and talk about it? We know who that $10 is going to come from. It's going to come from John from Edina and Manny from South St. Paul. No, Manny from South St. Paul will be $12.50. Yeah, he'll give you a little extra for your troubles. I'll send $12.50, guys. I'll send $12.50. It went too high. I don't know if you're going to get me started on that. Listen, okay. Enough of the inside jokes. I've got three guys here. This is Beck Did It Better. We're talking about Steely Dan.

[12:31]So no inside jokes. We're not talking about where that iPhone 14 Max goes tonight. No, don't. No inside jokes. Inside jokes. I've upgraded. Okay. Okay. Upgraded. Upgraded. I've got three guys here who may or may not be reeling in the eve. I don't know. Listen, we try. We're trying to have fun. You know what I mean? I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good, Rob. You've been telling me you're a genius. Since you were 17 and all this time I've known you, I still don't know what you mean.

[13:00]Wow. Okay. Well, would a non-genius have made best kisser a patch on his letter jacket in high school? I don't think so. Okay. Oh, best kisser. Yeah, it's a thing. That's right. Right there on my letter jacket. Yeah. My letter jacket. You want to find out? All right. Russell in Minneapolis. How are you doing? Rob, I'm a fool to listen to your dirty work, but I do not want to do your UFO porno dirty work no more. Oh, God. This is a time machine. It's almost like we can't talk about things that we didn't already do.

[13:30]And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron, okay, is so happy because he just found out his house is not naked. No? No, it has a dress. That's pretty good. I don't know. Does it have a dress, too? A dress one, a dress two? Like a unit number? Mine, too. I always just put in big boner. So I'm sending like my taxes or whatever. It's like IRS, Washington, D.C., 123 Main Street. Big boner. 123 Main Street. Well, do you guys do that at all for junk mail?

[14:00]Do you put anything special? Have we talked about this? No. No. What do you do? I always put anything that is like, you know, you got to put your name and address down and you know they're going to sell your data or your data or whatever you want to say. I always put Matty, M-A-T-T-Y. So then if something comes for Matty, then I know that somebody sold their shit. This guy, he knows so many life hacks. You chase those assholes down. Well, no, I just didn't. Just throw it away. You know, like if it comes in, I don't need to pay attention to this. This is four-dimensional chess.

[14:30]Look, I wanted to come up with a cool quote from this album, but this is the album that I like the most and understand the least. So I'm excited to talk about Steely Dan. So good. I would say if it sounds like maybe Dr. Roberto will make a comeback and not just from that Victoria's Secret that I got delivered to me in college. Matt, that's also a good trick for that blow-up doll. If the life-size sex doll of it shows up, you'd be like, no, it says Matty. See, I would have never used that name for this type of thing. No, I've never been. I've never been known as Matty. Nobody calls me that. I've never used that before. Dr. Roberto Studd is what I'm going to say.

[15:02]He's like, I've been asking for Matty for years, but no, still not. So obviously it's not me. I still don't think Barry from Burnsville knows my first name, but that's a whole other story. All right. Let's get into the voicemail. Which one do I want to do? Freaks on the phone. Yeah, no, you're up with this one. Oh, we haven't heard this one for a while. It was only a kiss. Now I'm falling asleep. And she's calling. Us on the Beck line.

[15:31]802-277. That's so good. That got me too. 802-277-2325. Almost gets me every time. Aaron is listening to the Beck number. We know that now. Almost every time. You guys are awesome. Saw the post about voicemails and then a certain picture of Uncle Russ will be shown. So please count that as one of those. Yeah. Keep up the great work. Radiohead still sucks. Bye. Bye. I've had to resort what may be considered a dirty tactic.

[16:00]And that is I did put on the Instagram, please. Now, listen, when you see the Instagram post, please leave voicemails. We don't need them that bad. We're not desperate. Okay. We don't desperately need your voicemails. Just a little bit? Yeah. And I may have put, if I get 15 voicemails, I will send you the picture of Russ in Napa. Right? Actually, technically, it's incorrect, Rob. Why is that? I believe you said five. I've got an upstairs roommate who may have showed me an Instagram. I was clawed back. Were you threatened to show pictures of me in Napa if people called into the back?

[16:32]How many voicemails did we get? None of these photos from Napa are anything that incriminating, right? He's just up there doing Napa things. Is Santa threatening children when he breaks into their house and offers them a gift, a sweet, sweet gift? That's like me with the photos. I am doing a nice thing by offering our listeners what they want, which is a picture of Russell calling the back line in Napa. You know what, Rob? I'll just make it. Easier on people. I'm going to make the picture available. If you guys, everyone out there just Googles the story about Adolis Garcia testing positive

[17:03]for BEDs, you'll see the picture of me in Napa. That's so good. Let's get into a roll in. You know what? I think that segment might have turned our podcast around. I bet we're going to be on board with voicemails after. I feel great. It's time for Rollin' Goin'. It would be so funny if we got hundreds. Yeah, where are you Galaxy listeners? Those of you who listen on the dumb Galaxy phone, use your dumb Galaxy. Call us on the back line. Let's go.

[17:30]Not desperate. Aaron, Rollin' Goin', how are you going to do it? How's it going with you? You know, my life's always a roller coaster, so got a lot going on, a lot going on. Roller coaster of love. Tomorrow night is the auction that I've been talking about where I'm going to finally attempt to dress as people. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Nope. Time out. Okay. You never once said it's an auction. Okay. You have never once said it's an auction. Yeah, it's an auction. Are you getting auctioned off as a date? No. Is that what's happening right now? No.

[18:00]That would be, no. Come on. Who would bid on that? No. No, sir. No. We're sponsoring. Maybe three guys long distance who want to see you do nasty stuff on the Zoom. So I really, I intended today to get my full pit bull, you know, facial hair situation going for you guys, but I didn't have time today because I was doing some other stuff in my life like work and making chili and other things. Wait, wait, wait. You were drinking and then playing leprechaun tag in the street again? No. Tonight, no, no, no. Tonight, no.

[18:30]Friday night is movie night. So Friday night, I drink while Wallace watches a movie. So tonight I was just making chili in the kitchen and drinking. But I don't know if you can see, like I tried, so I've so far grown like what is mostly a full beard for me. And then Rob, just for you, I got the little, I got the, yeah, so the flavor saver is here. It looks just past like a sandpaper level on Aaron's face right now. I gotta say, Aaron, I think you look good with facial hair. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Aaron's got like kind of a reddish facial hair look coming in and like, it's like, yeah,

[19:00]I think it's a little gray on there. I think it's so handsome. Oh, I appreciate you, Rob. So then tomorrow morning I will attempt to make some sort of pit bull facial hair. And at one point we were talking about it and Anna said like, well, he's like his mustache in many pictures, like is like more of a pencil, you know, thin mustache. You gotta, you gotta watch Eddie's sort of, Eddie's sort of mustache. I said the same thing. She was like, she was like, well, I feel like his is like narrower than yours. And I was like, I'll tell you why I go too narrow on a mustache, like you did it because then it's got to go. You know what happens if you start messing around with the mustache, guess who people

[19:31]think you look like? It's disgusting. I'm telling you. Vince McMahon. There's a, there's a fine line between the Michael Jordan and the quote unquote Vince McMahon. Yes, exactly. Exactly. So the mustache, I'm probably just not going to be in that dangerous. Get it off of there or, or just leave it as is and then make a little soul patch. Yeah. I want it. This is a tip that I learned. I learned a little hair during COVID when like no barbers were open or whatever. Yes. Just do a little at a time, just do a little bit and then take a break and walk away for

[20:02]15 minutes. It's like, come back, do a little bit more, take a break and walk because once you've gone too far, you can't, you can't reverse it. So just do a little bit at a time, take a break and then come back and check it out. As the song says, I used to do it a little, but a little wouldn't do it. There you go. More and more. And I'm like, I don't want to get down that path. I would just do it. Like I do my parenting very little at a time. Okay. So that's, that's what's happening in my life tomorrow, imminently.

[20:30]What happened to me over the last couple of weeks is that I got an email from the place where I order my meat and they're called Cream Co. Shout out to Cream Co for supplying meat, which essentially I just eat by myself now because my son doesn't really eat it either and my wife doesn't eat it, but they were offering a mystery box. It was a mystery box. Oh no. Of course. I mean, you guys are like, come on. Am I right? Thank you. You're going to offer a mystery box? Mystery box. Don't even care if it's 20, 20% more. I'll pay. Yeah. You guys know that when I went to, when I went to Rome, we went to a gelato place where

[21:03]they're like mystery flavor. And I was like, we, we sign me up. Let's go. I give me that free gelato. Not even free. Give me the mystery gelato. We were at, we were at a place in Napa. We went to this ice cream gelato place. It was really nice spot and everything. And we were in there and my Napa goer walked up and she's very much a, I'd like to sample, I'd like to try a few of the flavors. Right. She says, cool. Can I try this flavor? Whatever they say? No, we don't do samples. What do you guys think of that? An ice cream place that says no to samples. Walk right out. Come on. Who doesn't? What? I think people who get samples of ice cream are war criminals and they should be arrested. Okay. Stop. Slow. It's, it's the same.

[21:30]It's, it's just the milder version of the scratch off your lot of ice cream. Yeah. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. Right. Yeah. tickets at the gas station person those fuckers oh yeah i also i do not partake in samples at ice cream joints myself like that's i don't believe in it i don't believe in doing it myself but i think they should offer it i don't think you don't know what something tastes like until you like really sit with it have a conversation with your fellow napa goer think about it take

[22:04]some breathe in some air take a break do a little come back like you don't know what it tastes like you've experienced a whole serving so i sidetracked this aaron you were talking about bought the mystery box 20 off they told me it was 100 i think i can't remember what the wording was it was like a 200 value for 150 sign me up i mean so god get the mystery box i've been perfectly happy with the mystery box like i made some enchiladas i know matt i know matt not your thing but my son used to like them then i made them and he didn't like them but that's a whole

[22:33]different story made myself a steak last friday i've been very happy with the mystery box nice then we got an email now i mean full disclosure there were more hot dogs than i anticipated like it's a lot of a lot of very big hot dogs hot dogs the rose or the blend so what you guys just you guys just mix all this meat together or what like what am i i don't need a dozen like those things are made of right like hot dogs like as long as this like

[23:01]so i i mean like that's a big search i have later so but i mean i'm not gonna complain i'm happy it was a mystery box like it was a mystery what i got and that's a mystery meat i gotta have a email junior year in college from the company that said like hey we got a lot of complaints about our mystery boxes we're really sorry everyone now you get 20 off your next order no matter what which i'm perfectly happy with like i'm very excited but how many people had to send them complaints that's what i'm talking about who was complaining about their mystery box

[23:31]it's a mystery that's a fucked up repugnant shit right that's what i'm saying you cannot take a mystery box and then say like oh no i what what the hell this is a ripoff yeah i gotta say i get boxes of meat through butcher's box and if i got an email from the company saying listen we've had a lot of complaints about the last box i would be very concerned it's like it's like dad why does this hamburger taste like glass it's like oh i should have thrown that away for all the complaints but i mean i've yeah i served it to guests i served it to

[24:02]my son who ate like two bites fortunately my wife is free and clear so like whatever radiation that we're getting is you know mostly me but uh i sent the company an email right away and i said i'm very happy with my mystery box thank you oh this is what a suck up oh oh please corporation i love you they're a local they're a local spot they're cream coat oh don't make me look like a bad small business guy here i know so yeah that's it on my exxon hat that i have i'm you know i'm i'm

[24:32]smash the button on a mystery box all day i would do it again in a second i'm like you're gonna send me you know is there anything any kind of food where you wouldn't get a mystery box like you would just refuse to buy it you would just refuse to buy it you would just refuse to buy it you would just refuse to buy a mystery box i i have an idea of mine but i think it's seafood yeah mystery fish i wouldn't really go for that fish and seafood i think that's too that's too questionable well you know they all of these uh small farms and everything do all these like share what do they call them the shares yeah csa cs i mean that's like a mystery box every time and it's just

[25:03]vegetables i mean who wants that yeah right that's that's what i meant thing at all no you know what i would say is maybe i would say i would say fruits i don't there's some fruits where if they if they send me a mystery box of fruit i know it would just be like blueberries i'm like oh god oh i've been eating so much fruit the pears right now you guys the pears like listen i'm like i'm a little sad about the stone fruit being over because this stone fruit season was so good again we all know what you're talking about it was the best it was

[25:31]the best year ever in my life i'm getting aroused but the pears right now oh and i get like i go to the farmer's market on tuesday in berkeley and they've got this little box of 10 pair of pears in a box for 10 years and they're like oh my god i don't know what i'm doing i don't know what i'm they last me all week you went for lunch every day i love it 10 pairs so 20 you get 20 oh man that was so good okay but now i have a pear stroke as well so let's see who's joke is better uh that's my way of telling you when it comes to making a pear's joke uh i i know that aaron

[26:01]earlier was asking how to catcall women and i think going to the farmer's market is great because you can yell hey nice pears and then she looks over you can look down at the pears you can also oh my god nice peaches i mean you can there's a lot of things you can do lots of things is there a guy here who sells clams rob i have a this might have to be bleeped i have a pear's joke as well can i can i share my pear's joke as well please onions i need a hard stop here um would

[26:30]you rather eat a meal with pears that were paired with hot dogs if the hot dogs were made with my lips or mariah carey's asshole oh this russell i can't edit it out now there's music there's music there's a human centipede maybe the espresso martinis no i can't we better get to russell earlier than later then how's it really going with russell russell just took his blood pressure and it just said

[27:01]infinite what does that mean pressure i make love to pressure what's pressure infinite over infinite it's the uh figure eight on the side for hey my blood pressure is infinite over infinite it's the uh figure eight on the side for hey my blood pressure is infinite over infinite but i know fractions so it's no big deal because it's just one if i drink enough gatorade and i let it build up long enough we'll be just fine oh no russell am i up and rolling going yeah it's really yeah we're rolling you're going i have two things rob said we're past that we're past halloween we're out of october we're past

[27:30]scariest songs i have to share some of the scary that happened with me the other day and i was on i'm trying to sell my house in uh richfield oh no one two three fake street kind of in between main street and are you really giving the address of your house is that something you want out there just live there anymore i won't be there anymore yeah but kofax which is it's probably just west of kofax matt where manny and steve used to live you know you call richfield most people call it god's country just wanted to let you know i got it up god's country i'll tell

[28:02]i'll tell you russell i think some of our listeners are going to be like me when i was looking for adam sandler's uh at blockbuster checking out the deeds mr yeah they're gonna find your address and see who you are so they were so people were checking out the deeds at the county they were going through all the doing all the title work and everything and part of this matt gave me good advice he said when you sell your house make sure you have the inspector come out do the inspection and everything way in advance so

[28:31]you're not surprised by what you have to fix and all that blah blah blah i go through this whole process i have to have my my furnace inspect because it's it's older they come out of course i get the bad news they will not they will not certify this they're they're quote unquote red tagging it man hey that sounds oh boy meaning meaning i cannot sell it with the furnace in there yeah so i'm gonna call this metro you know i better watch who i'm saying here but i gotta call this this heating company so to order a new furnace or whatever so i call the heating company

[29:03]can i ask one question yeah did you know this company or was this just like go to the yellow pages and throw a dart don't get me started on this first the city of richfield which is in between south minneapolis and bloomington and probably in between i would say eden prairie dina where's the golden guys if you start saying it's on earth which is between mars and venus i'm not playing maps that's too it's five minutes it's five minutes from everything i have five minutes that's a real

[29:31]thing off of 100 there no one lives there it's just got the one record store that sunfish lake what i've been told by my realtor is this city is the biggest pain in the ass they are when it comes to selling a house they they will they will click you on everything so you can't sell it if there's any little problem so i had to put 7 500 bucks into like new garage siding there was there was a couple fucking holes in it but like they just they nail you on everything so the only time they can it's the only time they can so they absolutely take advantage of it it's brutal so brutal so i have to call and i'm calling to get this new furnace so i call this heating company

[30:04]or whatever rob and here's where the scary thing comes in lady's talking to me she's like okay let me let me get you with our sales guy and everything and i'm like okay let me get you with our sales guy and everything they put me on hold guess what song they they're playing while i'm on hold yes please let it be maps please let it be maps can i guess a heating company it would have to be uh what what if i called him a few days before halloween rob and the song was the monster mash so my scary moment last week was when i was having to wait to find out how much a new

[30:34]furnace would cost i was working in the lab late one night rob you could at least pull that up and that's such a great song at least pull up your version oh no well what do you which one do you want this one i was working on the podcast okay sorry russell i'm dropping the ball here you're right no well i turned the sound all the way down why would i ever do that so i'm waiting on hold right now on to find out how much my new furnace costs and this is what i hear what do you guys

[31:00]think of that you can't play a scary song while someone's waiting to know like how much you're gonna get taken for that's bullshit unfortunately yeah just play the elevator rob did i ever tell you about the time i did the music i did the graveyard smash oh oh god i turned the volume down again why would i ever do that the volume is never down the volume should never be down so anyways i thought that's what i tell my nutritionist i heard the monster match but i had another scary moment that popped up the

[31:31]other night i actually went out on halloween with a halloween goer we kind of bounced around and it turned out a lot of the bars we went to were dead some people don't go out on halloween anymore in certain neighborhoods i guess i don't know nobody out on halloween i suppose you guys all on saturday you're not going out on on a tuesday for halloween right we were up yeah we were up on proctor doing the doing the uh trick-or-treating scene yeah there was no going out for me in fact a dad another dad was like are we doing trivia tomorrow night i was like i can't make it to trivia at 8 p.m because i'm still going to be trick-or-treating russell i did go

[32:04]out on halloween you did yep i did because we had handed out candy on sunday which is when the island here does their trick-or-treating and i was like i can't make it to trivia at 8 p.m because i'm still trick-or-treating and then my girls went trick-or-treating with friends like up on the upper east side and like you're good so i was like okay i'm gonna go down and see my friend suzanne who lives in the village and i can watch the halloween parade that's cool okay from her apartment now every year i go to this i regret it it is a pain in my ass to get down there i always

[32:30]drink a little too much i stay there a little too late and it's always like on a tuesday so i gotta go to work the next day right so then i'm sitting there and i'm watching the parade and somebody says something that totally doesn't make sense to me and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna go to work made it not a fun parade russell see what you think about this they said oh yeah the only thing you need to get in this parade is a costume now russell would you sit and watch a parade with just anybody with a costume can get in and walk down i think i mean it's about the energy it's right like people they want to participate that's what it is right you're not gonna this is where rob like he only wants like certain costume this is like i don't like i like don't like desserts

[33:04]unless it's ice cream i don't like movies that are funny this is a rob thing i don't like golf or country club private yeah i don't like milk delivered by a guy who's paid under minimum wage so then i'm just about to leave right i don't like a sailboat unless it's fully paid for by my parents you know things of this nature i don't like sports cars unless i kind of don't fit into it i don't like a quarterback let's see girly hands all of these things at once it started

[33:35]actually hurting me pretty bad like when it's this quick and i have to realize all the follies of my life i'm just like oh boy that's a lot um i don't like talking about ex-girlfriends unless they bring me burritos to my football games that's right so i am at this thing i am getting ready to leave i'm like okay it's 9 30 i'm gonna go home i'm gonna get some sleep this is gonna be okay guess who shows up sting my wife from finland she flew from finland yes your other wife the finished one

[34:06]i wish it finishes so so she gets off a plane so she went straight i'll tell you what i think the finished wife is a myth oh okay it's so hard to do i thought i was better at having a finished wife when i was younger but i'm starting to think i'm starting to think maybe there's just less acting going down yeah that truly finish wait till thanksgiving though she's gonna be surprised just get that lion's game going

[34:36]she shows up and now all of a sudden i'm like well now i'm here another hour at this thing because she's got to say hi to everybody she's got to talk about like whatever and i'm just like so she legit got off a plane and then came from finland yeah like had her suitcase and i would never ever do yeah and of course like all the way to the village so that's what like a two-hour trip from wherever she flew into yeah no it's yeah it's probably is actually especially with that parade going on so then we've got to go back busiest time

[35:04]down in the village she's like oh you got to help me carry my luggage yeah what we are walking through a parade with your luggage like somebody oh my god it was it was it was like oh you could be in the parade you have the costume of a beaten down man on and i'm like i don't know i felt like igor i was like let me carry your weight belt you know what i mean is because of course she brought her weight belt to she can't finish without you can't finish without the belt i don't know

[35:30]there's something up oh god i actually had another scary thing happen to me i had to share with you guys quick if that's all right um so when i'm out for halloween we're out we go to a few bars there's a lot going on we go to another place um in the north loop area very nice restaurant everything we're having some drinks and dessert and everything we're sitting there and all of the sudden out of the corner of our eye we're sitting out there at the end of the bar there's probably 15 people in the bar if you hit the bar a few tables there's a fucking mouse that runs across the bar

[36:00]runs across the corner of the bar not on the front of the bar but like in the corner back by where the bottles are my halloween goer immediately reaction is mouse two to three yellings of mouse and pointing at the mouse at the road and screaming in in the restaurant how would you guys have reacted if you were in like a nice

[36:30]very upscale restaurant in the city and you saw a mouse run across the bar here's the problem right if you yell and point what if that mouse leaves before everybody looks and then you look like the first person i mean it's gonna be like a chicken little type thing it's it's it's not good okay and what if russell that mouse is driving a tiny little motorcycle okay guess what you just got steward littled that was my nickname in college i thought it was devereaux no you're right it's too little oh you think i don't know steward little okay well isn't devereaux a mouse too

[37:01]devereaux was in wasn't devereaux let's look that up this is like hey matt just spent just you know this is like the exact conversation that i had you with my halloween door and the mouse ran across the bar is that devereaux is it devereaux you're right aaron oh my gosh we know some what other mice do we know maybe much more ratatouille to me i don't know ratatouille there are no cats at the bar on so there was there was a lady like a server who did see

[37:33]the mouse with us so we were not alone good but i kind of immediately this is like a bad habit of mine i immediately kind of like shush like yeah you can't you can't like yell that in like a nice restaurant like what if people hear that and walk out or like but maybe they should be able to maybe they should know that maybe that should be free information for everyone what would you guys have done what do you do i mean is it a fun bar are you enjoying yourself it's a fantastic spot it's been probably

[38:01]considered one of the nicest spots in the city and and we saw the we saw the road i mean mice can live anywhere like it's it's not it's not a commentary on the on the bar it's not a commentary hey aaron could you could you repeat that so they could live anywhere including in your house just in case they'll in my house because my cat will no no no my house aaron no my house they can live anywhere including your house see see i don't know matt what would you have done i would not freak you out in the garage once but that's not a restaurant it's a little different yeah but it

[38:32]like was on me it was like on my chest on my shoulder like that so that'd be about the only time i'd freak my mouse like ran up and ran up my arm you know as i'm holding my drink at the bar then yeah i would have screamed but otherwise just a good story yeah i think so i would have kept quiet unfortunately russell i am with you i 100 i mean who cares about the mouse whatever i 100 would have shushed my date and then immediately been like why do i do that like why why is that even in my vocabulary to shush my date

[39:01]oh it's it's i don't know why we do it russell she's yelling mouse then we're like hey come on let's it's just a mouse let's just calm down it's bad bad news russell i was the ones out at uh drinks with uh suzanne and and the people suzanne and i we had a couple drinks and we're sitting there and this is outdoor dining and the people down about three tables were looking at us and i was like these sons of bitches they think we're being too loud you know what it's friday night we just got done teaching for the week we

[39:32]can go out and do whatever we want let's teach and so i get up typical teacher and i walk toward them all about me i say oh is there what's what's going on and they go you don't no way oh yeah i said i said what's going on because they're like looking and like they're kind of like looking and kind of like pointing at us i'm like what's going on and they go a rat just ran under your table i was like oh oh no so then i look back and suzanne didn't hear them say this and i look

[40:00]back at suzanne and i'm like oh if i tell her this this is gonna ruin you can't time i would never say a word well sure enough i go back and i go listen they were saying a rat just crawled under our table and she goes blah and she lifts up her feet and i grab my bag and a rat about the size of my forearm runs out and then runs down the sidewalk which is fun when a rat runs on the sidewalk because all you hear is ah ah ah you see like people jumping out of the way oh it's a great

[40:30]time i bet that was a super fun night until your finnish wife showed up oh speaking of finnish wives rolling going matt how's it going with you good i uh i got a perfect song rob you got to pull up a song for me yes perfect song of the week oh by the way i know suzanne's not going to hear this part of the show with me criticizing the parade because it's 40 minutes in so and you're like her seventh best friend oh yeah like when nobody else will come to her parties then you know hey rob can you come be a feller at my party for me circuital circuital circuital circuital

[41:04]s-c-i-r-c-u-i-t-a-l by my morning jacket you got to go about 2 15 in oh i forgot about my morning jacket i saw that play live once did you yeah hey rob did you forget about them too they're pretty good russell i i'll tell you what i'll never forget about my morning jacket okay go about two go about two minutes in i feel like their lead singer's name is jim or something like jim

[41:31]james or something right like he's like a very non-rock and roll name they're very country they got a very it's true yeah country rob you run that morning jacket through the wash and dryer a couple times there's no sign of any shit on it right oh none so who is how did you come across this matt i don't remember but it was on my top 100 list which was at 107 you're evaluating it and so i but i'm back down to 100 so i thought i just since this is a

[42:01]music podcast i don't know how much to talk about this week i would just tell you my seven that came off the list oh wow all right the list and some might be a little weird a lot of pearl jam a lot of smashing pumpkins but what keep it going rob keep it playing i was gonna play the yeah matt likes to have a little oh do you want to accompaniment you know you want to play you want to play all the songs if this band gets us for copyright we got other problems so you can let it roll so rosie i tried to listen to as much morning my morning jack as i could and i was like

[42:31]and you know this is to me this is their best song out of like the 20 that i listened to okay cool my my typical thing what was the band you told me about uh heartless bastards the beatles yeah heartless bastards you know so i went you know my thing is just to go to amazon music and just start at whatever their most popular song is and listen down right yeah and go from there and so you know like they've got a great couple great songs things like that but so i was trying to listen to but this is by far their best song in my estimation but a great band a lot of country twang to them more than anything

[43:01]what would you guys compare it to i don't know i was trying to think of it i can't like it's like neutral milk hotel horses yeah russell and i don't know what either one of those things yeah i think it still moves was their big album right that's this is yeah this is like i'm starting to think i think it's like a kind of a rock and roll americana that's got some piano in it that my jam so this is

[43:31]got some piano that comes in all right here's the seven songs that came off the list rob are you ready you tell me if you don't have to play them no i'm right i'm just saying oh all right blank spaces by t swift oh we were just listening to this today because we were listening to the heard the taylor swift version yeah this came off the list came off the list we had a moment with this tonight because my my son is like his head is in the clouds like he's fully not like he's first grade like he's not in on the like boyfriends girlfriends stuff and he's like he's not in on the

[44:01]like that's not his thing but the line came i like it but it's run it's yeah good song great song the line came up about uh boys only want love when it's torture and he said i don't agree with that and we were like we didn't even know you were listening we didn't even know you were listening and like you were like involved in this stuff so like okay you gotta start paying attention to what he's listening to and thinking about aaron's son hates artists wow i'm gonna think about that matt are there other are there other t-switches that you've heard of

[44:31]if songs on your list that survive or not sure there is they're not i can't like alphabet i should get like a thing there's one or two for sure and that was half of it is like a lot of these are i've got 19 pearl jam songs i gotta i gotta start cutting that down eventually right because i've got and a lot of them that i cut off or i've got like a pearl jam slow jams list so they're on that list so why are they on two lists kind of a thing there's a little bit of it's all made up man you can do what you want i know that what that

[45:01]first band you talked about with the with the morning jacket is that like kind of mumford and sons a little bit with a little bit more yeah yeah a little bit little kings of leon added in there oh kings of leon man when i saw them their lead singer was wearing a conway twitty t-shirt i'll never forget yeah well let's talk about that so waste a moment by kings of leon off the list because i had five or six songs and i had to figure out which one i needed to take off the list

[45:31]so go like 30 seconds they've got a great pace about them they kind of build to these big moments right yeah well that's like every they're really good at it yes they're very good what else survives on your kings of leon list what else is on there it's not alphabetized russell why are you torturing me i want to know what's on there i want to know what i need to listen to maybe joe's head or spiral staircase you're putting

[46:00]math through the ringer uh something like that i don't know what's on there i want to know what i need to listen to you're putting math through the ringer uh something like that i don't know what's on there i want to know what i need to listen to you're putting math through the ringer uh something like that i don't know what's on there i want to know what i need to listen to math through the ringer uh sex on fire of course use somebody kings oh yeah radioactive kings kings of leon so it was between radioactive and and waste a moment here and i chose that one this is this is one of my favorite songs yeah matt do you listen to them before you eliminate or it's just one just gone and you get subtracted oh i i mean so it was a i mean rosie we were you know this through our text chain we were going through it and we were like oh my god i need to

[46:30]know this through our text chain we were going through it and we were like oh my god i need to some songs and some artists over the last couple days and so you know i decided it was time and so yeah i do listen to them and i got that one's gonna go you know which ones left a couple on after listening to them like yeah no way that can go so is there anything on your list that you know will never go like some neil young song or something that will always be on there or not yeah i mean cripes there's a hundred of them maybe maybe next week we'll go through your whole hundred one week how about next week we'll go really quick what's on there and then we'll

[47:00]go on the list we'll do that next week i got an idea for a podcast okay no listen are we gonna you're gonna come over and shake some espresso martinis for me or not russell how would i make enough foam i don't know there's no foam and i should for a while what could i possibly do to solve this problem the foamy one that i left over to the right here is really pathetic now and now i'm bummed out russell some russell a sad russell makes me sad oh uh russell to answer your question yes there's a couple there's a song called grace 2 by uh the tragically hip oh

[47:30]the hip if you're from canada by jeff buckley's ghost and so i don't know good good joke good joke thank you yeah uh now listen man is happy birthday on that list because to me one of my favorite songs love here top 100 of all time one of the happiest songs you could ever hear every time i hear that song i'm having a good time you know what i mean what else did you what else got cut off i got rid of quick escape by pearl jam it's one of my favorite songs on their new album apparently not oh

[48:00]some great eddie vetter vocals on this but i'll count them up for next week i had about 18 songs by pearl jam this is a 2020 song this is a new one this is off their new album so i thought he only did ukulele stuff now that's the guitar here yeah good stuff so that came off uh this is yeah this is off their new album one of my favorite off the mail but it's a great song i'm going to have to listen to it again

[48:30]it's on a few other lists i've got so um through the eyes of ruby by smashing pumpkins which their live version you know see if you can find the live version of this rob and then we'll get to the drums this is where jimmy chamberlain really let's see what's the second one there go rob's pulling that up uh smashing pumpkins are coming back to target field with green day next year matt are you going to go to that one well here's the thing your buddies metallica are coming august

[49:00]17th they're coming two days no 16th and 17th two days back to back no no no no 16th and 18th yeah oh 16th and 18th yep and that fucking show is on the 17th in between so you're gonna have right in between right depth smack dab in between they can't even make enough espresso martinis to keep me up for those two both no it's a siamese dream hamburger you can hop right in there squished in there by metallica um so let's play this just a little bit here rob i would see i smash him come against who's that who's the guy who sings for that oh i had this joke billy i would

[49:35]go see billy corgan if he was talking about his political views but i don't really care about his music so you know what else he is right he's a he's a wrestling guy he's trying to run his own wrestling company oh yeah no well i yeah can you believe some sort of weirdos right running a wrestling company unheard of okay to be fair he's got a brother with special needs who loves wrestling oh so he got into it for his brother with special needs guys i'm taking it heavy today

[50:01]tomorrow night if your shaving goes wrong couldn't you be billy corgan tomorrow night oh boy wow what would you do for a billy corgan costume you gotta you gotta walk around like a blue background with like blue and like moons and stuff in the background of your head right so this song's on because the live version but the version is not as good as the live version so this came off the list off the list the band live i do like the yeah off the list you'd have to wear this zero shirt

[50:32]he's wearing that's right and then say oh the world's a vampire uh porcelina by smashing pumpkins two smashing pumpkins get the veto and i think there's one uh yeah that's it i got booted off the zoom i missed the question about my shaving going awry is that why you didn't laugh because you were looking at the screen i was like boy this is a tough no i got i got booted from the room and came back you're still here oh no oh god i was like i was like i think we were talking yeah i was like making these great

[51:01]jokes about billy corgan and i didn't hear any laughs and i was like wow he's really he's abandoned there was a lot of good jokes a lot of good jokes okay post and don't listen no don't listen back don't listen back not worth your time you gotta go like five minutes into oh really this one takes a while to get going russell you were right about the moons and stars in the background that's his costume see that's that's what the costume is that's a good costume right there that's off of melancholy right

[51:33]oh oh yeah uh it would be it would be something though if you were at that bar if you were at that bar and you were dressed like billy corgan right you had a low slung guitar you had your zero shirt on yeah and a rat runs across the bar and you're holding an empty cage i bet people would be pretty suspicious of you you know what i mean despite all my rage i still show up for this podcast every night aaron are you kicking off the zoom again i think he is he is but he's

[52:01]looking like he's kind of listening look at he's got his look at he's got his chin up in the air i'll tell you what aaron's wi-fi is a lot like suzanne's it stinks suzanne's wi-fi stinks and i tell her that whenever where there's a party at her house i'll go up and say oh your wi-fi is so slow there's nothing more hurtful you could say to somebody then your wi-fi is slow i thought it was i thought your comments robbery it's either the wi-fi or your breath you would always say like your breath you got bad breath right isn't that the one where people can't get past i think saying your wi-fi is slow is the new you've got bad breath it's like me tonight i don't

[52:33]know what's going on like i've never like i never have problems but here tonight i got problems watch this guys this is what you say aaron what do you pay for that internet you get like a discounted price it's long that's the story subject too because i'm supposed to get a discounted price but i can't get the discount because i can't get the government subsidy thing to work because it's confusing you're supposed to get i'm supposed to get it for my son's school but anyway i got man i got fiber internet i got good internet i don't know what's going on tonight aaron can you tell that story can you tell that story one more time

[53:01]i have a perfect sound cue i've been trying for months to get the discount on my internet shit i fucked it up okay do that again can you uh say that story again i've got a perfect sound cue i've been trying for months to get a discount on my internet is a vampire just when something's going wrong i think i'm going to get a discount on my internet i'm going to save this little song club i think you guys have inspired i'll send you guys a screenshot of my speed test i know it's faster than yours but tonight i don't know tonight i got problems that's that's such like okay that is such like a demented move okay to be like listen

[53:31]i'll send you a screenshot of my my test and i know it's faster than i'll tell you what i'll tell you what right now okay you know what i was going to save this for next week instead of the voicemail but we're gonna do it right now let's do an internet speed test right now guys what we got picture of it next to a ruler i know it's bigger than yours next to a travel bottle of shampoo all right here i go speed test all right aaron's just says question infinity over infinity here's the problem if hey if you hey rob if you've

[54:02]ever had to do a speed test of your internet you might have shitty internet what you got oh man i was doing the one from my proprietary what are you doing holy shit look at matt's internet i bet matt aaron look at that that's like it wouldn't surprise me if matt pays like 700 a month for a fast internet oh no six download 87 aaron he had he has an 87 upload aaron did you hear that yeah mine's slow tonight i'm telling you it's usually 107 guys i that's what's going on i get

[54:35]50 and 42 my internet is half as good as matt's yeah i'm uh that is my penis half matt size is that what this means well i'm if you guys will excuse me i'm gonna get off the phone and get on get on the phone with uh internet and tell them i'm only getting 73 and 37 that should be fixed real quick rob the other you've been red tagged if your penis is only half of matt's size and you're also twice as big as matt that means it looks it's it's the eagle's nest scenario you know what i mean oh no it's like a tiny hummingbird

[55:09]laying a egg in the eagle's nest that what else did you kick off the list uh i got rid of one more pearl jam song immortality it's kind of a slow off of vitality can i just say this a lot of you guys are gonna say rob did you edit out a bit where we all tested our internet speed no why would i have edited that out what were you talking about how many gold i got bugs bugs in my bed bugs i played that for my bugs in my bed i played bugs for my kids the

[55:38]other day and shut it off right away they opened up when i went to the concert they opened up their concert with this song and it was great is vitality only soft cover cd that ever made it big oh great great johnny cash american right weren't some of those no i said i don't think so oh hard hard to say this one takes a while so this is on pearl jam

[56:07]slow jams oh man i don't know how to get rid of this one yeah i got a lot of other pearl jam songs hey listen a hundred's not that much yeah go ahead yeah i'm telling you it's not that much but i'm telling you it's not that much but i'm telling you the next song kicked off his happy birthday i'm gonna be so upset hey can we each pick which song it'll be okay yeah russell what song would you say it is i gotta go come on ride the train i think it's come on right the train oh my god that should not songs that

[56:34]have come off the list or something yeah i think he kicked come on ride the train off the list what do you guys think do you think that one was on the list yeah i'm confused man i know you well that's on the list yeah man it's like oh that's on my making love mix i don't also have to have that on my hot top 100 i don't have to have that on my hot top 100 i don't have to have that on my go for night once in a while i know what's on that list oh boy that's true so you guys hear that train hey russell we're going through a tunnel russell here what do you think what did he kick off the list i think well let's see i think he kicked off

[57:11]uh one of the uh interludes from an outcast album because i knew he didn't kick off spodeo to get delicious so maybe kicked off like that's got to be on there yes okay matt what did you kick off and don't i kicked off my blood by 21 pilots i don't know that one at all whoa 21 pilots my kids were on a big 21 pilots kick for a long time so

[57:32]hello it's immediately it immediately is a creepy video that's circa karate kid with look at that it's true turn it up just a little bit rob i'll go with you this song makes me want to imagine some dragons yes hold on right here oh oh man this is off the list came off the list wow this is a good song do you have like a backup

[58:04]list just so you don't forget this song or something or not no oh my god greatest songs hundred greatest songs of all time you know it's it's always changing russell it's so weird that somebody on this podcast who is doing 500 albums for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows how many years has been doing this for god knows why is rigid about a made-up rule that he's nobody is making you man let me just put it this way nobody's making you keep this list okay maybe you're spending almost every friday night working on this list it actually takes

[58:30]quite a bit of your time on the weekend as well nobody's asking for the list actually some songs just went on you want to hear i mean please yeah we're gonna have it let's see the the ones that go to the bottom of the list so i could tell which one on all right um the weight by built to spill i've never heard of built to spill ever is it the weight that we know by the band like a cover or a different song no it's their song the weight by bill just built the weight like like the weight staff that saw the rat run across the farm yeah built to spill like every cup my kids had growing up

[59:05]this was a play this song till it runs love it you run it ragged so i played this song about three months ago you gotta go go fast forward just a little bit it's a long song seven dollars i'm not getting any of the hard guitars 742 it means it has to be good if it made your list means it's a killer aaron is have you noticed that russell is perked up at the list

[59:36]i think russell's russell's a listophile he's a list guy well that's how that's why we're here we wouldn't be here if russell didn't love lists that's true you know who my song you know my list is bronze all right last one i added recently was somewhere only we know by keen and i've loved this song forever i can never remember that keen sings it yeah so it took a long time

[60:07]to get it back on you at home that was not me playing the video that was aaron singing okay in case you're confused all right this is another one i could play it over and over and over these are all great songs man i have to ask what percentage of your list you think are like songs that an idiot like me would know like 30 20 190 50 50 i don't know yeah i mean well i don't

[60:35]know you would know at least 40 okay let's see i should i should say like what percentage what percentage are like commercial hits is the question right there's three sublime commercial hit for sure i've got a woman by ray charles secure pictures of you take on me aha oh man don't don't spoil our next podcast it's a special episode oh my god a special episode matt's 100 songs you know if we

[61:02]did a hundred songs that would be badass that would hey james brown sorry you're not the we're doing the guy with the most songs on anywhere all right so i'm down 100 rob rolling going how's it going with you uh listen what did i write down to talk about oh so my wife's gone and i'm going to go to my wife's house and i'm going to go to my wife's house and my wife's gone to finland right she's finished hey did you guys notice that when rob said his wife's gone he perked up yeah no that's what no it's different from when she came home to the

[61:30]halloween party and things were the big bed all to myself oh that was so terrible okay we don't need to do this bed thing again here's the deal here's the deal we of course when my wife leaves we do what we always do when she leaves and we go out and buy two boxes of oreos just immediately now i'll tell you what i had to buy two boxes of oreos because the look on your face is exactly how we felt about buying two boxes of oreos okay like a bag yeah i you know what i that's the punchline wrestle i fucking got

[62:00]a bag because they were on sale for like one for eight bucks or two for nine and i was like i cannot have two boxes of oreos at my house but i cannot not get the second box of oreos like cheap dad took over and the whole time back so i go up to the register and emilia's like i'm gonna go stand over here and i was like she couldn't even stand with you no no she was and she goes dad you can't get two boxes of oreos and i was like sweetie it's such a good deal we have to she's like dad we cannot she goes my friends could see me buying two boxes of oreos and i was like i know so i got a new friends like get another set

[62:32]of friends like would you rather be caught caught in a kfc or caught ordering buying two bags of oreos at a walgreens no i'm serious right now no i'm serious you guys picture yourself holding two bags of oreo that's all you're holding and you are walking out of a walgreens and you have two bags of oreo and guess what it's a pink bag so you know what that means russell if it's a pink bag money goes to breast cancer research it's double stuff these are double stuff oreos people don't even buy the other ones i know i'm just like isn't it scarface who said all he's got

[63:06]is his balls and his word like all you got are your oreos in your word somebody at work was like i like the thins and i it took every fiber of myself control to not scream i hate you so then i get home we're having the oreos we're talking about how we're gonna let the oreos last for a while okay we're gonna eat maybe some tonight some tomorrow night maybe a third night we're gonna get out of a box we're gonna save the rest for the party we're set okay then my kid shows me

[63:30]my youngest comes up and goes you know what i like to do with oreos i like to take an oreo split it and then i take another oreo and i split it and then i take the two sides with the cream and double it yes and i and i wanted to say to her who the fuck do you think you're going to buy me an oreo who do you think you're talking to who do you think you are talking to that i don't know how to double stuff i learned it from watching you dad you were born in this world where double stuff oreos are a thing i was born back when i had to make my own double stuff i'm down at the double

[64:02]stuff factory making my own double stuff and what do i do with the extra parts i have no stuff guess what i eat them i don't like it i don't like it it's the worst part of the oreo but guess what i gotta eat it because you know what i gotta make the doubles he's back like cook crack he's in the kitchen whipping up double stuff double stuff quadruple stuff yeah meanwhile my kid is making quadruple stuff thinking that's normal because that's the life i've given her working my hands to the bone so we can go out and buy double stuff oreo she's not double stuffing her own oreo the quadruple stuff so she was like yeah and i had it was a perfect dad moment because i'd be like

[64:30]wow sweetie that is so cool i'm gonna try that okay but i i did i was dad of the year okay now not the part where i bought two boxes of oreos that did not last three days okay but back to the part where i didn't yell at my kids so rob did you did you come up over the top with the octobomb stuff eight oreos have you ever seen a picture of octomom have you ever seen i'll tell you what not even that picture of octomom when she's pregnant is what i look like after three days eating two

[65:04]boxes of double stuff oreos look at this okay let's do this octomom now some people matt's listen fine and good but now we're searching octomom pregnant and i'll just click on this purple link here this is what i this is what i was like right here folks at home google the picture nadia suliman pregnant you know it's the one in the green shirt

[65:31]some of you know what i'm talking about okay that is what i look like after the double stuff oreos but it looks like me after that bakery in napa valley you better not post that picture rob oh hey aaron what's the what's the question here is this is this a music podcast yeah well that's why we're talking about the album i already played the sting listen to music listen you played i mean i think i did right we're talking about the album i don't care did anyone else hear it oh i heard it i think your wi-fi went out there for a little bit about the album you should really upgrade that

[66:03]yeah i'm telling him call sonic as soon as we're off this phone ask russell call the uh call the company they're easy to work with no problem uh listen we are talking about do you do you use your wi-fi at your house on your phone or just your 3g service are you what a slam wi-fi what a slam 3g gosh oh he's on 3g still damn it's none of their g's man oh sick burn bro this is for the

[66:32]g's and this is for the hustlers aaron holds up his sprint phone that he still has that'd be nice i could go rent uh listen uh this is the debut album can't buy a thrill this is the debut yeah by steely dan okay uh donald fagan and walter beck becker okay i mean you had me think about ted dancing there for a little bit i'm not gonna lie uh and their unique blend of jazz rock and pop and if it sounds like i'm reading that from a page i'm not i came up with that sentence myself

[67:01]and basically like this is what you hear here is like the beginning of steely dan because it's literally the beginning of steely dan you can hear it's not quite as like processed as as aja was uh and it was a little bit more it sounded like guys come on as asia was and i pronounced that again perfectly okay ignore the little gap you heard earlier uh and it wasn't it was still really super technically precise and they still had studio musicians coming in to do a lot of the

[67:32]part but i think it still sounds like more like a classic rock album yeah and what i found crazy about this album is just how many of these beats are latin beats i don't know if we've heard so many latin beats on an album yet like if you listen to the actual drum pattern on this album okay it is a big time big time latin vibe which is really interesting to think about with a band like steely dan because you know they were listening to all this different stuff like just there's this just the musicality with these guys is so deep and i have to say i got to get

[68:01]steely dan my award for band i now like the most after doing this podcast i thought i hated steely dan when i talked about this but i didn't because i didn't like steely dan when i talked about this i'm with and when i talked to people they were like where's steely dan on the list i'd be like who cares i love these guys now i think this is so good you know what rolling bones should be high on the list all right here we go next week rob asked this was so deep the real question is how deep is it right how deep is it deep enough to get the iphone 14 max up in there oh my god

[68:34]god i thought you thought we were doing in there in there oh i hear stomping around upstairs i might have a text coming here i didn't think i like steely dan either and then yeah although nothing like these out these steely dan albums create marital strife for me like nothing else like i put on this deal like she'll be in the other room she's like wait oh aaron yes yes okay aaron can you do that bit again

[69:03]your wife i paused in the middle of it i swear but i was like it causes marital strife for me like i put on steely dan and then she's in the other room and she's like is it steely dan week and i'm like yeah it is and like i'm enjoying it and i'm not gonna hide it anymore i like steely dan but it sounds like there's not marital strife there's strife in your fiber optic cable right i think that's what's going on tonight yeah i was the fact that it didn't pause again in the same place causes me so much pain if it had i wouldn't i would have just ended the podcast forever it would have been my favorite moment i will say my uh i feel like uh steely dan has

[69:35]actually helped my marriage you guys know what i mean like it helps out especially as long as you get caught up in customs yeah it reminds me of when our friend of the podcast uh replacements guy grew a mustache and i was like dude your mustache looks great and he was like you know i find that men like my mustache more than women do like my wife doesn't like my mustache i feel like that's a steely dan same thing yep uh steely dan and bodybuilding we're the guys uh do it again this got all the way up now think about this this is their debut

[70:05]album this gets all the way up to number six on the charts it's their second highest charting song ever so so is santana taking this erin or where does santana fit into this like they're similar isn't it am i am i in trouble for saying that or not i don't know which one came 72 santana first 72 let's see when santana was coming out i mean they would all have been taking from something else yeah i mean santana first album is 69 no i don't i don't think

[70:38]i'm wrong russell i i think that's it has to be an influence on these guys yeah i'm sure they were listening to it a bit like it i'm sure it was everywhere in their record collection like it wasn't i don't know what they were listening to other than santana but for sure it would have been santana and then i don't know what like tina puente or cal jader or either way this is a pretty epic and the epic start to your first song on your first album ever right right and ballsy

[71:03]too like two dudes who like go to college in the northeast just like yeah let's make a latin tinged pop tune hey dude grab that weero let's get going yeah i mean like we're off and running i don't know about you guys you guys know bands and names of songs better than i do i know probably four or five songs on this album maybe even more but i don't know steely dan i didn't know i didn't know any of these songs were steely dan but i know the songs same yeah i mean so many of these just feel

[71:30]like they're just like around when you're growing up yeah like rock radio is on yes this was always like filler in the classic rock you know what i mean like i felt like it was like led zeppelin rolling stones and then there's this band like i don't i don't really know what i know the song by heart but i have no idea what the band is i think you're right russell that band was always steely dan to me right that song by the way was about violence women and money the thing three things that the three things that motivate men all right uh or i would say a good two for one deal

[72:02]now let me ask you this i wrote that last week does that make any sense to any of you guys which is the two and which is the one i don't get it i don't get what i was writing this is like an x this is like a real life time machine aaron this is like hey rob from the past guess what you're excited rob yourself visiting yourself from a time machine and then you find out you're a dumb shit like can you imagine can you imagine if you visited yourself and you met yourself and you're like oh i hate this guy that would be a kiss i wouldn't even kiss myself it's like you just myself i'm so pretty

[72:32]rob from the past wouldn't know who the big dick guy was so i'd have fun explaining that i bet we both get a kick out of that russ russell from the future and from the past would both be disappointed that i can't make an espresso martini with proper froth both the 21 year old version of me and the 59 year old version of me he's just this design are we still doing this at 59 i don't think so right oh don't please no i can't that's all i'm hoping i'm gonna quit i'm gonna quit if we are if we're doing this at 59 we're not gonna do a man's hundred songs okay we have to move on we have to move faster

[73:02]uh dirty work this is the one of the this is the only song that david palmer is singing on who was quit or kicked out of the band a year after this album came out i think he also got kicked out the vikings in about 1999 because he was no longer good at returning punts number 22 it's a tough job man this is another good song it's a little yacht rocky right it's kind of slow i don't know it's kind of hard to get into this but it's easy easy listening is this easy listening what do you call this but listen to this chorus it is really kicks up yep

[73:31]yeah the harmonies are nice i mean this shit sounds good this is one of the albums you know i download all these albums as flack to do it for the podcast this is one we're on flack i was like this sounds really really good i'm glad i got it on like a totally lossless format aaron do you know what flack is i bet you don't yeah it's a lossless format oh that's because i just said it that's how you know it i know about lossless audio like because it like these were analog recordings they had to compress them to make them digital and the better quality digital file you

[74:03]have the less loss you have you know i only listen to my music as dot moves dot mov that's the only way i do it takes up a ton of space mpeg4 guys hey man you want to hop in with a file extension joke here nope his lip his lips are dot zip all right kings that was good it's a weird song but i kind of liked it yes right i don't know what any songs are about but i enjoy them all well

[74:33]i'll tell you what this song uses the tale of king richard and john from robin hood as an allegory for the american political climate look into my eyes you will see what you want to fumble a bra right now immediately but listen to this i mean this sounds so good you sing that russell and i'll sing robin hood and little john walking through the forest

[75:02]lolly lolly gollywood today and then we do all the robin hood songs all at one time midnight cruiser see this is another one you know the song right but yeah i couldn't have picked it up they put this one in trivia i wouldn't know for sure can you go to the very beginning of this rob uh yes i don't have anything insightful to say

[75:31]but i wanted to ask you guys if you heard something here i heard tom petty here is my wrong not but just delete it let's move on what's that song well yeah it sounds like werewolves of london yeah yeah werewolves of london okay wait a minute wait a minute little werewolves of london see how that starts but it's just like that warren's of on hey hey just so everybody knows rob

[76:02]that wasn't you playing the song that was oh my god i was so confused because the other thing is the other thing is that i don't know if aaron realizes with his quality microphone that he's using how good his singing voice sounds over the zoom hey hey matt matt hold on just you know that was not ufo porno that was robin his finnish wife oh boy oh boy what a pull a little bit i like that drum at the beginning i don't know what it is but it's the same piano lick i like that i think that's a brag you know what the key is

[76:34]yeah well i know i don't know the key i just you can hear it's not the same key it's the same notes as i'm saying yeah only a fool would say that a world become one i i don't want to do this to you guys because i know you hate this but this was another band where when you look up what the songs are about it's kind of obnoxious i recommend not doing it it's very pretentious i'm not interested in reading about these guys at all i like putting the tunes on i do not care a thing

[77:02]about what they're talking about this was a retort to idealism of the 70s like a lot of these songs like when you read about it you were like i i they they they rank up there with you too as okay okay the most pretentious douchebags ever don't do it i like it good to know you know this you know steely dan kind of reminds me of modern day i think our steely dan was daft punk oh yes a hundred percent where you had like this

[77:30]kind of shift in music right with these really talented kind of like particular guys and and it caused music to go in a whole different direction i'm telling you guys if you think i'm smart uh text the becks line 802-277-BECK okay hashtag rob smart okay don't confuse that with my business i started which is called rob smart which only sells normal size condoms those those requests have gone really well for us in the last six months what they're requesting is some video breakdowns if they don't get their act together and start calling in real guys just like when i

[78:05]went fishing i you know what i did this is terrible okay i put a bottle of pills on a hook and i caught some old people reeling in the years does that make any sense oh past rob you wrote that aaron looks these i didn't write that that came off top my head from present rob present rob is the same as past rob this is a disaster another song that dumb shit rust doesn't know a steely dan but knows the song yeah this is the sound the voice sounds like the guy from fin lizzie a little

[78:35]bit to me right yes like i didn't know they're saying reeling in the years aren't they there's actually a part later in this where i was reading that i think it's uh i thought they were saying reeling in the eve that's why i said that at the beginning of the podcast i was wondering why they got no traction whatsoever oh it's not reeling in the eve oh god

[79:00]i'm an idiot it's reeling in the the northerns reeling in the way i always started the podcast what were you gonna say russell i'm sorry i was reading i don't know if we can find it in here it's probably tough to find but jimmy page said this has one of his favorite guitar solos ever on it but there's actually a lot of good guitar music on here yeah i do it's kind of posed out i enjoy this sound this is a cool sound isn't it yes and there's a lot of good guitar on this i think the first song here do it again the song was actually

[79:32]on this is one of our favorite bits ever it was on guitar hero world tour wow so if we're gonna celebrate steely dan we gotta do a list of the greatest guitar songs ever on guitar hero world tour this is oh my god guitar hero world tour luke from eden prairie or chan hasten or wherever he lives he's gonna love it yes wait you don't even know your own brother well he lives in eden prairie but he's in i don't know i think it's chan hasten but his dean prairie zip code he's

[80:01]in minnetonka school of music he's in minnetonka school of music he's in minnetonka school of music school district so it's like this weird right right by uh with pleasure principle it was about a block from the pleasure principle no is that up by that lifetime fitness or where's the dinner theater from there past that i was close to the curling club or not i don't know where the curling club is no i don't know that one valley fair do you have any like streets you can tell me where the curling club help me get oriented where is it on five i was just part of the podcast rob

[80:32]remember last time i said that people did not like guitar hero 80s because there were only 44 songs people love guitar hero world tour 86 songs they doubled the songs back up that's the way to make a great video game right that's just jade we're going hey fuck it they they got 46 now we're going now we're going 92 we're doubling it so some of the it sounds like the guys who made razors then went in and did guitar hero games they're like oh fuck it i guess what we're going good we're going three blades okay hey fuck you we're going four blades okay

[81:02]put some blue shit on there to make it feel better another blade right hey i just got hired at this guitar hero place guess what i'm going to do there fuck it more songs let's go there were some great songs in here that were made our our honorable mentions that we're not going to talk about when you got 86 songs it's hard to get them all right so mr mr crowley from ozzy was on there bon jovi living on a prayer the joker one of matt's favorites float on from modest mouse we've talked about them before so we're not going to relive that and one of rob's favorite songs hot

[81:31]for teacher was on guitar hero world tour but we've talked about that so much we're not going to do it again no oh no wait hold on we are what's that oh book on that's teacher rob's music is that the music or is that my stomach after this next espresso martini oh don't oh russell that seriously upset my stomach don't say that anymore you cannot be doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please

[82:00]oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first song on the list is from 1993 this is one of rob's favorites it's lenny kravitz are you gonna go my way this is on guitar hero world tour oh god damn turned up too loud the song rules this does matt's brother you crank this out at the bar you're winning that contest right oh this is so good lenny kravitz also underrated as a as a rocker like

[82:30]you can do worse than put a couple lenny kravitz albums on for the day i gotta say too appropriately rated as a big cock guy everybody knows he's got a big guy right everyone knows that i knew that long before i joined this podcast in his book is his biography he wrote some of his formative influences of the jackson five and james brown which drove his love for soul music and then he later discovered a rock through led zeppelin kiss and steely dan if it weren't for steely dan we might be able to do a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please oh first time i'm doing a double bass drum in the toilet between these episodes russell please

[83:00]might not have lenny kravitz or his big dick right rob if we didn't have lenny kravitz that would send me reeling in the eve for sure and now i can't cut out that bit like next song on the list is from 1973 i think we've talked about this once before but it's good enough we're going to talk about it again the song is banned on the run by wings oh good good song three three songs in one yeah we might hear that again tomorrow oh yeah it feels like the classic three songs

[83:30]in one yeah we might hear that again tomorrow oh yeah it feels like the classic three songs in one yeah we might hear that again tomorrow oh yeah it feels like the classic three songs in one kind of a candidate how do you guys listen ahead so fast i'm just imagining steely dan band that kind of modeled themselves on the beatles they didn't tour a lot they wanted to record so it's kind of like the beatles right okay right yeah and they actually had i think we talked about this in the last healy dan album they had the one song where they were ripping on lennon remember they had an issue with lennon i think we talked about that once where they didn't like the song imagine they thought it was like too um idealistic if you will right and they're like this you can you can wish for peace

[84:04]and everything but what about people who have real problems so this is part of the era you might not like these guys where they're kind of getting a little uh i think but actually paul mccartney who was the leader of wings was a big fan of steely dan i was actually reading an article this might be going a bit far but they called them kind of like the american beatles because they coined a musical genre that hadn't happened before with rock and jazz you guys hear that or no like kind of a new type of music or no wow a new type of music what band would have

[84:33]done something like that in the 2000s boy if only somebody was smart enough to have pointed that out already i don't know i i don't know because i don't know what it was like at the time yeah i guess it feels like it was probably new in 1972 yeah i can't think of anyone else who was doing before can you imagine you put out an album and paul mccartney is like these guys fucking rock i'd be like it'd be great we should get him to listen to our podcast yeah we yeah we should hey hey love i'm calling the bedline just want to say love the podcast

[85:03]i especially liked all the fingering jokes that one week oh no russell's all espresso martini'd out well we were talking about the year i don't know what year we were talking about but we should also talk about the year 182 that's to do with the band blank 182 we've talked about this band once before with the concert tickets the song is damn it from 1997 check this out this song is so good

[85:31]this is a guitar jam right yeah this one will put a smell on my face anytime growing up what a classic again one of the greatest band cd makers i think ever right they had the one album that was take off your pants and jacket and then they had another album that just had an adult star on the cover when that was the first album that was the first album that was the first album that was kind of started remember in the 2000s where enema of the state yes enema of the state if you

[86:02]were a rock star in the 2000 you had to be associated with a porn star it's just the way it was damn it was such a fun song to try to sing along to it was just like it was so hard but it was like if you mastered it you really like had nailed your sing-along craft yeah so russell i would love to play that song in a video game that's for sure for sure one of the people uh travis barker that's the drummer from blink 182 i think is that right matt yeah yeah so he was actually also another big fan of steely dan he liked the version with steve gadd i think

[86:31]steve gadd played on asia if i remember right but he was a big fan of him and he kind of influenced a lot of what he did from a drumming perspective so it might not have been this album we're listening to today but steely dan a big influence on travis barker and blink 182 all right so now i'm getting to why you guys said asia when i said asia i was confused about that too guys this is not a great day not a great day for rob pronunciation this is almost an aqua mini type day for me for sure it feels like it might be too long of a day maybe the day is ever long for you rob so we're next

[87:01]song on the list from 1997 it's the foo fighters ever long another great guitar hero rock world tour song right this is so good what do you think matt your brother rocking this one or not oh for sure yep back in the day what's the main dude on what's the main dude on two fighters dave roll dave roll so so he's kind of said like in his mind his band foo fighters is kind of turning into the old man rock band right and he thinks we're kind of turning into like

[87:32]steely dan from when i was a kid like we have what the grateful dead the fleetwood back and for people now like i don't know rob if your kids think my guess is they might think foo fighters is like the old band band isn't it russell there's no way to know who fighters is my kids think flow rider is like the oldies i mean can you imagine can you imagine can you imagine can you imagine can you imagine russell if you turn on the oldie station okay and you hear somebody singing about apple

[88:02]bottom jeans okay back in my day aren't those back now back in my day they were talking about driving around in souped up cadillacs not women's whose fats are back oh backs are fat fuck okay back in those days they were singing about barberan not blowing their whistle i couldn't think that rhymes my bad either way dave growl considers themselves kind of like steely dan from the other

[88:31]generation so that's i thought it was interesting last song on the list is from 1998 this is when our senior year of high school for us matt's junior year but this is corn freak on a leash now can i can i tell you something about this song russell yes sir this song would not just be good in a guitar hero this song is also a favorite of one of my kids in karaoke club no yes no i he was like i'm gonna do freak on a leash and i go okay he goes it's by corn and again i

[89:04]want to be like who the fuck do you think you're talking to woodstock 99 yeah how's he do is like can you do the whole thing wow everybody hates it what do you think this is a terrible karaoke song what you know part of being a teacher is letting kids learn on their own jonathan davis the lead singer of corn they were asking him what is his favorite corn album he said it was this album the spent four million dollars in two and a half years making it he said their album was perfect

[89:31]he calls it the heavy metal version of asia sonically you hear asia from steely dan this is the perfect record so corn influenced by steely dan that's wild isn't it that's russell that's the wildest corn story since and you're not going to believe this okay i went and i had i had a outdoor like fire you know one of those turkey cookers and i went to this place in south dakota

[90:01]okay i went to a place in south dakota and i was like you know what i'm gonna park my car here when i get out i'm gonna cook this turkey and it's kind of raining right so i get under a little structure i get in the structure i get under i turn on my thing heat flames huge smoke all of a sudden i realize i'm in the doorway do you know where i was i'm in the doorway of the corn palace in south dakota i cannot i'll tell you what does that mean i'm in the doorway of the corn palace in south dakota it's a little bit of a disaster okay only one guy there was it was happy to see it was just

[90:30]mike miller that was a guy named orville redenbacher and he looked at me and said wait a minute i've got an idea and i saw him get into a time machine rivets rivets smoke smoke he's like i'm gonna make popcorn can you imagine that's what you i don't what did he do orville redenbacher did he make the popcorn like the right size but like was it way too big before i like that it'd be way too big why is the popcorn so big orville get off that plane get over here we're making popcorn now

[91:04]stop making those flat espresso martinis pop that popcorn again uh-oh aaron's caught aaron's like is my wi-fi bad again i don't understand anything that's going on i'm following russell that was an excellent excellent list i'm following that's the worst uh next up something that's gonna happen to russell after those double espresso martinis fire in the hole this song is a reference to evading the draft during the vietnam war

[91:34]yeah we you can't talk about the meaning behind these songs oh yeah i forgot we're not doing that i will say when i was growing up though i was like people who evaded the draft un-american very bad and now that i'm older i'd be like oh it would take me one millisecond my ass would be up in vancouver so fast it would make your head spin are we doing draft dodging jokes hey how bad is my wi-fi how did we get here somehow they all ended

[92:01]up playing baseball in los angeles right i haven't talked this much about draft dodging did it aaron yeah i did that's good i'll tell you i'll tell you what i dodged was draft day okay just kidding i saw it god sorry multiple times he flipped he flipped a lot of picks in a few days and kind of really didn't end up anywhere but somehow he's the hero of the story i think did he get did he get kush or not oh no kush is in jerry mcguire it's it's they it's a

[92:31]movie where there's zero football and yet you are totally invested in this football team there is no football play in that whole movie and you're like oh my god i hope i get they get the draft pick they want it's like we're again we're cheering for corporations it's like all these movies now where we're like boy i hope it works out for the poor cleveland or cincinnati bangles or whatever it's like what the fuck do i care i wonder if the director of that was like former vikings gm rick hey if we if we make a movie about someone who trades for like a few more seventh round picks people will be really into yeah yeah yeah hey wow you're so good at drafting you must have a huge

[93:04]penis produced by rick spielman do i have to keep all that draft day stuff in now just because that joke was okay rick spielman test positive for peds click on this link big slick rick brooklyn oh that last song fire in the hole we heard the piano but like midway through the piano is just

[93:30]rocking on it this album's got all sorts of great you said at the beginning rob musical moments where it draws you in i think so i think this is a major vibe album you put this on you've got a nice little weekend day on yeah we should this should have been on our win if instead of she fucking hates me like i like definitely stuff like this like we should have been playing this instead of the austrian i'm cold i'm i'm doing a my first ever call out on a listener erin erin's wife at gmail.com i think you were mistaken to be hating on this album like why

[94:00]would someone want this to be turned off it's great to listen to right my son loves it i enjoy it she's the only one you don't want consider yourself but i'm not trying to put her on blast while she's listening so i agree with russell eat shit erin's wife i love you sweetheart thank you for listening i really appreciate all of your support while i think thanks for all the voice who do you agree with i agree with russell yes oh wow gmail.com has got to get with the times man

[94:32]yeah man all the cool kids love it wow awful uh hey all i know is my upstairs roommate has texted the backslide a few times you guys have been married like 15 years i think matt's wife has maybe sent a message but i think you guys are oh for oh for 168 or however many episodes we're at an appearance once on the podcast it's true maybe more than once it might blow your mind that after you're married for a while you're married for a while you're married for a while you're married for a while your wife is not going to text the bex line as much as she used to okay in fact some people

[95:01]would say your wife doesn't care what you do anymore after a while oh geez that's heavy she might just run off to finland for who knows how long and then show up at your back and run your your halloween party how did taekwondo go uh change of the guard yeah i got choked out again it was great yeah it's so weird i was in this hotel room they put my belt put me in a triangle and i'm like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god i'm going to be like oh my god over the last few months or where are you at record maybe maybe one sometimes a new guy comes in

[95:32]and i'll just beat the piss out of him because he's the only guy i could possibly beat before they teach him one move the real question is though like has the one guy recovered from his broken hand is he back or where we at with that guy he is back his hand is okay but he still wears a brace sometimes and i'm like it makes me do you spar with him or do you stay away from him i do i do he's my practice buddy he's the guy i practice with all the time but i've i've stopped apologizing because every time he's like no it's fine but i think i apologized one too many times you know

[96:01]what i mean yeah like where he's kind of like okay shut the fuck up uh turn that heartbeat over again turn it over hey the plan was done some kid today saw me eating i every day at school i have four hard-boiled eggs and today by the way disaster the fourth egg not good there was a i got an email from the egg company later saying hey we got a lot of complaints about that fourth egg very bad and i'll tell you what that is a bummer when you're eating hard-boiled when you're eating

[96:31]hard-boiled eggs and the last one is bad it's almost impossible to get that taste out of your mouth it's so bad hell no don't you oh well yeah because what are you gonna do like that color that doesn't look quite right but you go for it anyways you don't even want to see the color i don't know what color the yolk was but it tasted green you know what i mean like it just tasted green not great um and a kid said to me well you eat four eggs and you're like oh my god i'm gonna eat four hard-boiled eggs you like that better than scrambled and i was like who the fuck do you think you're talking to of course i like hard-boiled eggs better than scrambled right

[97:01]scrambled eggs they're all over the place you can't scoop them up give me hard i want to eat some eggs fast i'm going hard-boiled aaron am i right or wrong no no you're wrong i you know what i like is hard-boiled yolks remember how we were talking about yolks i'm a hard-boiled guy i i don't think you're supposed to just eat the yolks russell i don't think that's a thing oh oh what aaron what do you think where do you weigh in on the great egg debate definitely not something we've covered before on the podcast i mean they're scrambled in my house more often than not

[97:30]because that's what everyone can agree upon so that's if i'm gonna have an egg myself i'm gonna scramble it man i guess i would prefer a hard-boiled egg but i eat a lot of scrambled eggs i know i mean if i'm all alone and it's just for me that i'm gonna fry it and get the edges nice and crispy with the runny yolk and then oh that's it with some toast that's something to do oh honey it smells like oil in the kitchen were you frying eggs again by yourself yeah let's say you like your first date with aaron's wife at gmail.com and you guys go out

[98:04]for brunch and she orders eggs in a way you can't like what would have been the one where you're like fucking i'm on it but this isn't gonna work oh she does like over easy or what what what there's not i don't know i'm not there's not really a type of egg i wouldn't eat poached over easy sunny side up scrambled hard fried i'm good i mean if you do over hard-boiled eggs you're gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like if you like if you want your eggs fried over hard like then it's like okay why don't you just get a hard-boiled egg like that's i don't know i would say if if if she was like uh i want it rocky style

[98:33]and then it's just raw eggs in a glass and she gulps it down that would make me think right there you see how easy that went right there hey you know what kind of looks like uh slabs of beef hanging down in the freezer my scrotum something to think about all right all right let's get into the rating taking it all the way there system why is the rating system up there makes no sense

[99:02]i was like is this really the joke that's going to take us to the rating system but the beef scrotum joke it has to it's our scrotum beef episode hey russell put that on the description please all right listen steely dan of course the band famously named the band steely dan and he's a big fan of steely dan and he's a big fan of steely dan named after vibrator if you think we could do some funny bits on that go back and listen to asia let me get that clean so i can edit it later asia and uh hear that no actually you can't it's

[99:35]quite hard oh quite hard uh is this album at 168 is this a rolling bone it should have been higher up on the list listen we love the album it's a vibe is this a rolling groan okay it should be lower on the list which of course would be a higher number rob that's where you play your sound bite one's going high you know what i'm gonna take yours and make that the new sound bite guess what that's i've got a second groan so there's mine and now just heard russell's groan right