Simon and Garfunkel: Bridge Over Troubled Water (1970)

[00:00]Speaking of, the other thing we've been skipping other than the opening, Rob, is you haven't been doing the gong recently either. Just saying. Oh, no. That's, well, so where is the gong? Now, none of this, of course, can be on here. Russell recently sent a text message saying, do not publish the parts before your introduction. Okay? Which I appreciate. All these great jokes. Which I do appreciate. Because it is true. At one point, it got to like seven minutes and I was going, yeah. That's a little bit much, I think, even for us. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone Magazine.

[00:30]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Guys, it's on the podcast. You know what it is. You selected it. Unless you're listening on a Samsung phone, then you might somehow be getting this accidentally. Okay? And my advice is download other episodes, please. I cannot tell you how much of myself worth this podcast. We are all the way up to album 172, and from 1970, it's the fifth and final album by Simon

[01:09]and Garfunkel. It's Bridge Over Troubled Water. I mean, guys, this is such a symbolic- They made five albums? Yeah. Yeah. Well, they did the- Rob and the Garfunkels? Yeah, Rob and the Garfunkels, they did. I Hate Mondays. That was with Simon and Garfunkel. That was with Simon and Garfield. That was a different album.

[01:30]I'm trying to think of another GARP person. John's out there trying to get dates. Yeah. Have you guys seen The World According to GARP? Yep. Oh, yeah. Where he does- Isn't that the guy on his knees, the Tim Conway stuff? No, that's Dorf. You're thinking of Dorf. This is a classic- I'm all confused. I'll tell you what. This is a classic GARP-DORF mix-up. Okay? I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times. What's it called when you put all the peanuts and the M&Ms into a snack?

[02:03]What's that called? GARP. That's called GARP. That's GARP. Okay. That's about it. Now, Russell, who was the guy on Star Trek who had the ridge on his head? No, I think you're talking about the 3 and D defender from the Oklahoma City Thunder, Lou Dort. Lou Dort. Oh, Dort. The Dort. Yeah, he's a baller, man. I think I was thinking about that guy from Star Trek who had the ridge on his head. Remember? Never seen Star Trek. Not one episode. Not me neither. Me neither.

[02:30]What the fuck? His name was Worf. That was going to be a great joke, and you guys blew it because we were going to say, oh, this is, hey, I'm having GARP with, I'm having GARP with Lou Dort, Dorf. Rob Worf. Garfunkel. Rob Worf. Garfield somehow. Rob Worf. It kind of rolls right off the tongue. Rob Worf. We can't say that. It's so close to my real last name, Stud. All right, guys. You know, Bridge Over Troubled Water, what we're looking at here is really an album of a group that made beautiful, beautiful art, and yet this title of this, you know, it's

[03:04]their relationship is the Troubled Water. This album was the bridge over it, and it just is like sometimes when you're really having trouble and you're just about to stop, that's when you make the most beautiful art. So, guys, I think we're going to keep going for a long time. We're set. No fear for me. No great art yet. We're going to be okay. Hasn't happened. All right. Let's get. I don't even care anymore. Let's turn on the radio. I'm not even coming up with bits anymore.

[03:31]Okay. Let's turn on. Let's turn over to G.O.R.P. Gorp. It's the old Gorp station. And let's listen in. Eat your Gorp. Listen to your Gorp. That's the guy that invented the Internet. Let's see what's on the radio. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Aaron said, oh, I'm going to be on so early tonight. He gets on and then takes a phone call for five minutes. Okay. That song has nothing to do with that. I know. Hey, he said, hey, I don't want to get anybody a job, but I'll be on before 10 o'clock. I was on. We're starting at 10 o'clock. Aaron, excuse me.

[04:00]Excuse me, Aaron. I'm trying to play my song. Okay. Don't go all dwarf on me. I can barely see you on your knees. My water heater went out. Aaron's on his knees. Aaron has shoes on his knees and he's podcasting just like Dwarf. Okay. Whereas I am more like Worf. Okay. Because he was actually a cool guy on the show. Are you drinking eggnog too, Aaron? I'm having an eggnog. Oh, my God. You're having an eggnog? Yeah. I got some Hennessy in there. It's the first. I've got to go to the bathroom after you hear that. It's good. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to turn on the radio and go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. What's up, everybody?

[04:33]Welcome to KROV. K-R-O-V. You know, some of us don't have basements. Oh, yeah. Aaron says, would you look at the time? For him, late's a quarter to nine. It's four times. Oh. His kid goes to sleep at midnight for me.

[05:01]The guys don't understand how hard it is to record in New York. I respect you, Rob. Oh, thank you. My kids are close by. I record right outside their door. Well, I talk about dirty stuff. I can hear them both snore. Just a man. Imagine your dad had a podcast and Friday's at 10.

[05:32]Well, he talked with his friends about eating ass. Oh, God. It's hard to record in New York. I mean, that really does put it in perspective, right? Are we the number one ass-eating podcast? No, we're not even close. There's got to be way better ass-eating podcasts. Aaron, you hear. Rip rap on the roof. What do you do? You get up. You throw back the sash.

[06:00]It's that magical day. You go out and you find your dad doing a podcast where he's talking about eating ass. It would be the all-time disappointment ever. Rob, what would you have thought if you would have overheard your dad having that type of conversation like back in the mid-80s? We would have done high five, two high fives, two hands, high 10, high 20, okay? We would have been like, yeah. And then we go like this, high 10. And then our handshake is we go high 10. Then we go like this. Because we know we're talking about diving on that back muff.

[06:30]All right. That part's getting edited out. And then pointing up at the disco ball. Oh, no. That part's actually not funny. Diving on the back muff. If you don't think this is going to be the diving on the back muff episode, you don't know us very well. Oh, my God. So anybody who's a new listener, see you later. Good to see you. Goodbye. I've got three guys here, okay? And we are talking about this. Beck did it better. We're talking about Simon and Garfunkel, Bridge Over Trouble Walls. I got three guys here who recently tried to order the El Condor Pasa special at El Cantina de Mexico down the street, okay?

[07:05]They thought it was a dish. I mean, come on. Sounds great. Oh, boy. Spanish for? Oh, boy. I'm in trouble. El Condor Pasa. El Condor Pasa. Yes. Could I have the, oh, yeah, I'll have the California Condor egg, please. Spanish for the Condor Pasa. I like my eggs over easy and endangered. Give me the California Condor. Is it probably not as big as an ostrich egg, right? Pretty big, though, I bet. I bet a Condor egg is pretty big, and I bet it's pretty delicious.

[07:32]Wicked omelet out of that, yeah. Oh, God. It'd be so good. I got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing tonight? Oh, Rob, I'm down on my knees. I'm begging you, please, to make sure this podcast doesn't go more than an hour and a half. I got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing tonight? Robbie, this podcast is breaking my heart. Our lack of voicemails is shaking my confidence. Oh, Robbie, just like Matt, I'm down. I'm down on my knees. I'm begging you, please, to call this episode Rolling Coming Home.

[08:02]Wow. Everybody's on their knees tonight. I mean, I'm playing Dorf. These guys are on their knees begging you. They're on their knees. Is Cecilia about Dorf? Yeah. Huh? Dorf? Now, picture this. You got Simon. He's playing the guitar. You got Garfunkel. God only knows what he's doing. I mean, imagine Dorf walking out. Listen to this. It's already a better song, right? More Dorf. Okay?

[08:30]Less Worf. You guys don't even know who that is. And I've got Aaron. How weird would it be if we were in Vegas and recording and one of our buddies came in and we were all down on our knees begging you, please, to come home, Rob? Home. The idea of, like, somebody at home being like, please come home. We need you so bad, Rob. That is so laughable to me. Like, I could easily miss, be gone from this place. I don't think anyone would notice. No. All right. As long as you ordered dinner, right? I think my wife would just sleep better.

[09:01]She'd be like, yeah, I was wondering why you weren't waking me up four nights coming into bed, putting on your headphone, elaborate headphone setup you have to sleep with. Listen, I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron, normally I make a joke here, okay? But you texted me ahead of time and said you wanted to say a nice little eulogy for Henry Kissinger, one of your heroes. I see you got the shirt on right now. Aaron, what do you have to say about Henry Kissinger? Say hello, silver girl. Okay, Aaron, that was a bomb. I'm going to go with my backup idea. Stop for a second, okay? I'm going to edit all that out.

[09:30]Here we go. Ready? Okay, you did not do a good enough job with that. So now it's down to my backup idea. What the fuck am I going to do with that? I've got Aaron out in California. Well, you could do a Henry Kissinger impression. Oh, yeah. I'm carpet bombing heaven. I'm carpet bombing up in heaven. You know what I mean? Like, when you do what you love, you never work a day in your life, Aaron. It's me, Henry Kissinger. All right. That's a bomb. So that's all getting taken out. Now, Aaron, I've got Aaron out in California now. Aaron, I was recently talking to Aaron about the artist, the singing artist, Dua Lipa.

[10:00]Dua Lipa. And Aaron's like, oh, that's so weird. That's what an Italian long jump coach would say. Hey, Dua Lipa. Say hello, silver girl. Let's talk about Simon and Garfunkel. Oh, mama mia. Just Dua Lipa. Aaron's not even playing along. He's just, like, moving along. I mean, Rob's got to get his joke in. Like, he did two of them tonight. One was good. The other one was bad. That's also a joke. Oh, no. The princess is in another castle. I need to do one more Lipa's.

[10:30]I'm not sure I'm supposed to respond in these moments. I can't. I mean. I was trying to think of something about Chef Boyardee, but it's the only other Italian person I know. All right. Let's get right into the voicemail. All right. I've got a question for you guys. If you take 100 kids that are 11 years old from each state and they go to war.

[11:04]Okay. I'm going to stop you right here. Okay. That's Barry. That's Barry. We haven't heard Barry since about episode 16. Is that who this is? That's Barry. All right. Let's see. Let's see. Well, whoever this is, when they call, their business that they work for is a registered Google number. So I saw who they work for, and I know they're calling from work. They are calling the Beck line from a work phone. So I guess work smarter, not harder.

[11:32]To be fair, I didn't know Barry from Burnsville had a job. Or in a battle royale type battle, which state would win and which state would lose? Can you guys please each give your winner and loser? I've got a group of friends that are having a huge discussion about this. And we're wondering if you guys could weigh in because we think you guys would have some pretty good insight on this. This is not Russ. Oh, it's not Russ.

[12:01]That's good. I like that tag. Thanks again to not Russ for calling. Need to do that. Now, listen, we've got it. So here's the theoretical question. We've got 100 kids from the state. Now, are we going to say these 100 kids are randomly picked or they are the best of the best fighters? It's got to be random. It's got to be random. So we have random kids. Oh, OK. A random 11-year-olds. And they're going to fight. We're going to fight 111-year-olds from every other state. Which state is going to win this battle royale? Which state is going to lose? All right.

[12:30]Does anybody have any idea what the answer could be? I'll take a crack. I'm going to go Montana. I think Montana wins. I think you're taking some country kids that are out working on a ranch. I think a high percentage of them are going to be just like tough kids where if they get injured, they rub some dirt on it and they get up and they go build another fence for their cattle. I'm going to go Montana. Take. Makes the win. I think a loser would be probably the state of Iowa because I would simply say, hey, what's that over there? They would turn and look very slow.

[13:02]They'd look very slowly and boom, those 11-year-olds. This might get Aaron off the podcast. Would get smoked. The foot's done, right? This is so funny. This has been like, it's so funny. I lived for 18 years. Like, I didn't know that making fun of other states was a thing. I literally, you guys, I did not know that. Totally foreign to me. I did not know my entire life. I moved to Minnesota. And it's. It's all you guys think about. It's like Rob thinking about me thinking about feet. It's all you care about is making fun of other states that are so similar to yours.

[13:30]It's almost as though it's like a little too on the nose. Maybe it's, it's very strange. I never knew that this was a thing. 18 years of my life. Never knew that making fun of other states was a thing people did. And actually no one else from any other state I've ever met does that. You guys are the only ones. We don't make fun of people from Iowa and Wisconsin. We feel bad for them. Yes, you do. Okay, we feel bad for them. Because they're so far below us in almost every regard. He pities you. We don't think about you at all. It's so weird. Yeah. Hey, Rob. Hey, Rob. Do you know why Southeast Minnesota is so windy?

[14:01]Why is that? Because Iowa blows and Wisconsin sucks. Right? Like, this is crazy. Like, this is like, you guys, these are like your bedtime stories. Did you hear what you get in Iowa if you fail your driver's test five times? A blue license plate. Now, that joke's not funny anymore. Okay? But in 1991, that made me crush. Okay? That's where you license. license plate heads out there who love talking about license plates it's great what do you think this was like a legitimately interesting phone call russell made a legitimately interesting

[14:30]response and then you went to the lowest common denominator iowa joke like why would you do that rob is a new yorker aaron actually so he's technically a new yorker making fun of your state you're playing yourself i can tell you new york kids would not beat anybody else at least the kids i'm dealing with like they would not these are the softest kids who all think they're going to the nba i mean you've never seen so many short kids thinking they're going to the nba is where i'm teaching right now it's crazy and then they play against other short kids who also think

[15:00]they're going to the nba so everybody is just reinforced until like i don't know they go outside like immediately realize they're going to get destroyed like i don't know uh erin who do you think wins i had a similar thought as russell it was a western sparsely populated state but i was thinking alaska i was thinking that alaska would also be kids who are out there like catching fish with their bare hands and wrestling bears so i'm gonna go with alaska yep i i think that's uh i think that's probably what they're doing up in alaska all the time they're not like every other

[15:30]kid just on an xbox or whatever or maybe a 43 year old man you know it doesn't matter uh russell who do you think is gonna oh you said russell but matt who do you think is gonna win i i was trying to go a little bit different on that i'm gonna go with illinois oh let me just hear me okay so illinois has got enough farm country where they got some farmers right and they've got i think the number one like murder rate in chicago and all the country and so like if you're gonna grab a hundred random kids it's actually not you know like i'm gonna grab i'm gonna grab

[16:02]some of those kids out of chicago and i think any alaska kid is smoked so i'm gonna go with like illinois that's that's a clever thought i've got to go probably minnesota because it's the best state and everybody there is just the best okay especially if you're there when you're 11 all right so i'm gonna go minnesota i i don't know who's gonna lose that fight i gotta say i i honestly think it might be new york city just just lily soft that's what i think i don't know i

[16:31]mean you might be right rob if if you think about but if you think about new york it has the huge population but like you don't ever hear about like a middle linebacker who came out of new york high school foot no right no no nobody ever does because there's no football field okay all right russell russell these people are impressed by a park you're in the middle of the city that these people i would then he refers to people as these people yeah right such a superiority complex this guy yes i was also thinking like a state like rhode island maybe

[17:04]or something there's like somewhere where it's like it's you know probably nice and you know there's like a few people who live there i think florida florida would have to do well right like who knows you get a kid and he's like oh yeah you want me to go to new york city bring my own crossbow or what you're like what the fuck like i think that i think that's a good choice i or maybe minnesota because matt i know we get your kids out there with some cardboard stuff they're unstoppable we know they already kicked your ass once i think that's i think that's

[17:30]a good way to go it's true i i'm gonna go iowa for all i know all the good iowa wrestlers come up to minnesota to wrestle at minnesota schools so i'm gonna say i suck at wrestling they come they leave i believe matt they blow and suck at wrestling in iowa so i'm gonna say all the all the tough iowa kids go elsewhere they move out of the state you guys there you go door fun door fun trying to wind me up is that something it's time to see what everybody's up to my wife just came in okay she came in and she was talking to me while i was

[18:03]talking to you guys and i was like what the fuck like i am you know i'm podcasting right now okay this is my life all right i put so much time into this and then i took out my headphone she's like do you want girl scout cookies i was like this this is the greatest damn right i do i love you so much she gets she completes you you complete me i love you so much i hope i die first she's like yeah i'm not worried about that i was like what uh now this is girl

[18:31]scout cookies like i okay you want to guess what kind of cookie she's going to bring me you guys guess right now what kind of girl cookies the gross peanut butter was dosey dose wait those are good the tagalongs are good russell shut up they are good okay guys i'm gonna say i love you i'm gonna say junior mint because she knows what i love okay but i hope the plastic's on there because i don't want the calories so i practice safe sex with those junior mints i keep them in the plastic i get him like four or five times i don't know man rolling going how's it going with

[19:05]you oh my god uh good rob i need you to pull up a song for me all right yes remember the rule too this runs through matt's rolling going now yeah don't don't shut it off rob i'm gonna shut it off listen you guys haven't heard the last episode i did a good job of that you did a good job uh what is my song i left my wallet in el segundo so this is a i've been really getting into tribe called quest because i'm needing to try to find what my you know outside of outcast what's my hip

[19:32]pop avenue i guess and i think it's i think it's a tribe called quest good choice yeah i don't know so this is a song that was on let's see if we can oh man this is a song that was on literally it's just i mean it might as well be like a night with us like in vegas where he's just he just explains that he took he just they went and they went and got some tacos and hit on some chicks and he left his wallet so he's got to go back and get it so i don't know i like it but is there anything worse

[20:04]is there anything worse than when you leave your wallet somewhere like the feeling you get of just like the pit in your stomach when you realize all the stuff you're gonna have to do when you've left your wallet somewhere you know what i've realized is there are people that live like with a different mindset than i do that must be much happier like i'll know people that will like lose a credit card lose their wallet lose a phone and they kind of just go about their day like it doesn't bother them it would wreck like my month if i

[20:30]lost a credit card tonight it freaks me out i am constantly like checking wallets to make sure i don't leave anything anywhere like and i i could not get over it but some people can kind of just go with the flow i really envy them the worst part about losing a credit card is the bank calls you need to verify if these purchases are yours i'm like okay they're like twenty dollars at taco bell yes that was me who spends twenty dollars at taco bell and then they're like no there were two duplicate orders of taco bell at different times you're like yes those were both me yes i heard

[21:02]the exact same thing both times thirteen dollars at dairy queen fourteen dollars that was for my kid we had to get something different for her because she she doesn't like tacos 850 at orange julius i didn't even think those existed anymore like and you have to just be like yes yes and then it's like the last time my credit card got stolen a couple weeks ago they were like anyway and they bought thirty dollars at health food and i was like no that wasn't me that's not me whoa look at that 149 dollars life-size sex doll all green

[21:32]folks the girl scout cookies are here we've got see this spread thin mints we've got the coconut those are the best don't say it guys don't say what they are good we've got the do-si-dos yes we've got the tag alongs so this is like i mean look at this is like a charcuterie board of girls we've got this one which is like peanut butter inside now oh i haven't seen that and then i've got the uh what are these now these are like a sandwich ice cream damn where'd you get

[22:04]all these it's december where'd you get all these girls all right hold up no rob don't eat any don't eat any of them i think wait until rosie's rolling going and then just start see if you can eat them all while rosie's doing his rolling going and then just start see if you can eat them all while rosie's doing his rolling going and then just start see if you can eat them all while rosie's doing his rolling going and then just start see if you can eat them all while rosie's doing his rolling going so then you're not going to interrupt him this week oh boy so he can just get out i don't have that much to say i'm not sure i can i was gonna chill this week now the pressure's on yeah oh okay so jenny wants me to tell you jenny jenny hey can you shut the fuck up

[22:36]no i was talking i was talking to aaron you know no it seriously bugs me how you always tell me what to do i'm sorry i'm talking to russ this feels so good you know it seriously bugs me how you always tell me what to do i'm sorry i'm talking to russ this feels so good my therapy uh she bought oh my gosh she bought the these from somebody who was selling them at work what is your stance on people selling girl scout cookies at work and cornering you on that i double up i buy i buy whatever i normally would and then i double it up because yes probably for

[23:03]someone's kid you know that they gotta you gotta help them out if you work with someone you gotta you gotta you gotta drop some money on my only question is my only question is isn't girl scout season like february and march okay so i'm trying to holler at it like what's going on that's part of it we are recording this december okay jenny just informed me that this order was given a year ago okay i was gonna say and she showed me that the box uh it this uh uh what do you call the date the expiration date i just want to show you this it's now first of all did girl scout cookies have

[23:36]expiration dates that's news to me okay that's crazy dwarf on girl scout cookies here it's september 2023 it was three months ago and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god it was three months ago oh that's fine that's fine office today jenny ate him she's fine oh i've never seen rob so in love look at this sweet moment we just witnessed yeah well it's better that you bring me cookies and some of the fucking shit you make me do all day sorry man what else is

[24:02]going on your wallet song here uh well i mean the song's over now so i enjoyed this does that mean i'm done yeah no it's a good song no the only other thing i had is that uh the current and i texted this the current had a they always do like a holiday weekend thing where they do um so i don't know they have some sort of theme and over thanksgiving weekend it was the 90s so we had another awesome four days of the current 89.3 the current in minneapolis for anybody around the country needs a great

[24:32]radio station but then every day about 9 30 they do a thing called the the coffee break and it's some sort of weird theme around it and they did the other day they did um the best uh greatest hits albums that by by an artist okay so they had like johnny cash and stuff like and they played one song off of it and of course they went to immaculate collection by madonna yeah

[25:00]and the song they played it just i mean it just i made me feel so good they played borderline by madonna which basically means that all of my campaigning for the last like four years that the best madonna song in the world is going to be the best madonna song in the world and i'm going to play the best madonna song in the world is borderline it's just came true so you know independent independent uh of anything if i have no influence on this borderline by madonna nice was chosen as the number one song off immaculate collection and so i just think that's proof that

[25:31]borderline is the best madonna song there's ever been wow i don't want to have a fight for me it's like a prayer but i'm not gonna but i'm not gonna argue with this choice it's a good choice i for me i would love this song if it didn't have that baby piano in the beginning oh i love that oh i love that it sounds so much like a whitney houston album to me it's like so you talk about this part or like that very first the very first part 15 seconds very first 14 seconds now let me ask you this guys this is about taking her to the borderline

[26:00]i that's a myth right like what i don't know listen if if if i'm taking her to the borderline i'm more like uh ice you know what i mean i'm finding everybody trying to cross that border and being like no no no get back there i think all right if you took her there you'd get to see your lucky star or not oh russell that's my favorite that's my favorite madonna song is the lucky star because it's got the nursery rhyme or what was that nursery rhyme or tall tales or something it's got

[26:34]nursery rhyme about ghouls and goblins or whatever it was in a fairy tale or a nurse hobgoblins that's right it's hobgoblins yeah man this is that you're it's a good song man you're not wrong i'm still going like a prayer but i'm not gonna start a fight oh yeah all right that's my rolling going uh rosie rolling going how's it going with you he's rolling going was mostly about girl scout cookies what's so weird i took a uh i did take

[27:01]a flight on thanksgiving day and what sunday yeah flew what the fuck to arizona no it's closed here be quiet for a second we have to my program is not this is where we said we were gonna inform you about rob and bring a job yep all right wait i thought he was taking my stuff these are the stories that i like tell us about the trip you're on we're gonna hear about your

[27:36]flight tonight flying tonight uh yeah actually this reminds me so rob was talking about uh some risky food safety behavior uh and i actually gotta be honest i engaged in some risky food safety behavior over the last uh couple of weeks so the first one was just two nights ago i noticed that all the hot sauce in my fridge was like near the bottom level so i was like i gotta like

[28:00]clean out the hot sauce i gotta do some hot sauce cleanup so i was like using just make a blend did you make a blend no i was just trying to eat this that's how they blend you know that's how they blend wine right they just take the bottom of all the bottles and just that's what i've heard i've heard that we had some people over the monday before thanksgiving and then things got like we were hanging out for long enough that people were making their own rosé with the red and the white but uh that was not putting it into the bottle but no just a couple nights ago uh i had been like throughout the week like oh i gotta use this apoteca i gotta use the scorpion like there's just like a little bit left

[28:33]and then i had this um so those are fine because they got preservatives in them they're like bottles you buy at the grocery store but then i had this other stuff uh this uh shota which is like a red pepper hot sauce that's made what the fuck is this about your flight why did i play that song what's going on i'm gonna get there i'm gonna get back to it before the flight yeah i made a food choice you shouldn't have made before a flight actually no this one's at no i'm about to hear that part because my wife is running the blender as loud as she can apparently for the last 10 minutes confession to aaron's wife

[29:00]at gmail.com uh but before but after the flights now i'm gonna jump around in time here so you gotta come with me it's like doc brown and lauren you gotta jump up and get down me following a non-consecutive timeline right now not difficult easy for me in the headspace i'm in no problem as as found that i was already lost with your story i was like say a couple nights ago so i i'm trying to use up this hot sauce that was made by this restaurant in downtown oakland so like it's not it's definitely no preservative it's definitely

[29:30]should not have been in the fridge as long as it was but i was like i'm gonna use this up threw it all in a bunch of food took a bite and i was like that tastes like gasoline i was like oh well i guess but we made it 24 hours it was fine but on a similar vein so my son and i took a flight on thanksgiving day to arizona to see my dad and my stepmom and my grandson yeah i took the flight on thanksgiving day which was amazing i can't edit i can't edit these are the stories that i like tell us about the trip you're on

[30:07]we're gonna hear about your flight tonight tonight oh yeah oh yeah aaron goes on a five-minute rant about worcestershire sauce i'm gonna go crazy i will not i will say the flight was magical we took the flight the flight was at 2 30 p.m on thanksgiving day so you get to the airport it's quiet nothing's happening we walked through all

[30:32]the stores bought you treats you guys you guys really want cheap tickets bad yeah you want cheap tickets so bad you're flying at 2 30 on thanksgiving god damn you want cheap tickets who was it was it like you and like one pilot who i mean that's crazy whole road to ourselves like we get on the plane they say there's 75 empty seats on this plane no problem while it's gonna be got our own room so here's but here's the confession i have to make i think we're fine now because it's uh it's been a full week since we got back i bought some pretzel m&ms we ate the

[31:04]whole bag of pretzel m&ms and then i realized when we got down to the bottom of the bag that there was like a little hole in the back of the plane and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die the bag like i don't know when it happened if it was something we did or if it was like that when i bought it but it's definitely the kind of thing that if like my wife had been along it would have been she would have been very concerned that there was the hole in it when you before you ate it we'd already eaten a bunch of m&ms at that point so they were like well this bag was ripped so i hope but i think we're fine i think we're fine but i'm making that confession right now instead of having

[31:32]an m on it this this candy has a k it spells ketamine you're like oh shit that's not bad i had this moment a few weeks ago and i bought like a little bag of trail mix right and it and i got home and i was gonna eat it and i looked on the back and there was like a slit through the back of the bag that's what this i didn't know what to do i sat there for like a minute or two eventually i tossed it what would you guys have done eaten it or pitched it i would have tossed if i had seen it but we were through the bag by the time i saw it it was too late you know i avoid this by never ever putting away

[32:03]groceries i'm never in charge of putting away groceries i have no idea what shape they're in when they get put away i'm set don't worry about me guys but then the flight was marvelous i you know wallace is a angel on the flight he gets his ipad out he watches his movies and then we were on southwest head live tv that day so i watched one quarter of the cowboys game on the flight had a wild turkey it was great got to arizona my dad picked us up we had a beautiful time hung out in the hot tub that night ordered some room service for thanksgiving

[32:31]dinner so it was all marvelous and we had some nice thanksgiving did everybody everybody shower off before they got in the hot tub um no we showered they got a lot of bathrooms by that hot tub there yeah yeah we got plenty bathrooms by that oh yeah i'm sure yeah i'm sure i'm still tripping on that ketamine in the hot tub don't say that anymore i got a question does your son like does he exhibit similar behavior on a flight that you do does he like recline his seat oh no no he just he kind of he still do he i don't really wait i don't recline

[33:02]my seat oh you've said you recline oh i do not i was gonna say no i do not i don't recline my seat he he's in a habit of kicking the seat in front of him once in a while but then he gets like he gets extra pissed if someone kicks his seat right like he's that kind of you know but uh no he kind of curls up with his little ipad and then like as soon as you can put the tray down he gets the tray and then gets an apple juice man he's a professional flyer he's so good can i tell you guys about my thanksgiving okay thanks for asking by the way uh listen i started

[33:34]no no no this is not my rolling going this is still yours i got on thursday morning i woke up we've got people coming over for thanksgiving we've got eight people total okay including a teenage boy and two teenage girls okay how much turkey would you buy for that 12 total or eight with your family how many total with your family total with my family i would buy a 12 pounder

[34:04]12 pounder what do you think man no i have no idea i i never buy a turkey my dad always does it so i have no idea russ what do you think you know i also don't buy the turkey but it doesn't matter no one has ever run out of turkey you could buy like an eight like the smallest one they have and it's not gonna if it gets eaten you your people are fucked there's something wrong with you guys it was a seven pound turkey it was so small i took a picture of it next to my hand and sent it to aaron and said i am i'm not sure like did that turkey have legs it looked like just no

[34:34]no we don't eat dark meat so we don't buy them with legs okay so i didn't even like you sent me that picture and i didn't it was it was thanksgiving i didn't want to like overreact but so this was not even you don't eat dark meat no gross what's the story there no it's gross it's greasy dark meat is for dummies what dark meat is for uncouth losers okay so says the milk man now i'm just saying okay it's like wait so i'd love to i'd love to taste what worms tasted like

[35:01]if they were bigger i love dark meat like sent me a photo rob said we have an eight pound turkey and i'm thinking that's about as small of a turkey as you can find seven and then he sent me the picture i thought well it seems weird because that turkey must have had really small legs because i can't see them in the picture but it wasn't a turkey it was a turkey breast like that's a that's a good size turkey breast yeah but with no it wasn't it wasn't big enough and we finished we did finish it there if it had legs it would have been big enough well i know but we're not eating dark meat aaron we're not you we're not idiots dark meat is like what zombies eat it's like slime it's so gross

[35:34]so anyway the rest of my story thanks for asking is that i was not feeling well thanksgiving morning i was able now am i a hero was i able to keep up my energy i did not feel good and i let my wife know was i able to cook the turkey yes was i able to make the stuffing without any help for my kids because they didn't wake up till 1 30 yes okay unfortunately though guys as soon as we ate dinner and it was time to do the dishes i could not fight

[36:04]anymore my fighting days were done i had to lie on the couch i was too sick to help with the dishes and for the rest of the weekend within a number of activities with the kids i was too sick i had to lie down okay that was my thanksgiving break am i a hero for being able to power through as much as i did kind of yeah i am kind of superman and gandhi rolled into one but the good parts of gandhi aaron keep going with your rolling going geez louise that's it that's my whole rolling going oh that's it i'm just gonna ask you this can i connect how does

[36:34]hot sauce connect to this story i still am unclear about this it was two times that i committed uh risky food behavior aaron let me ask you this bread moldy don't have any more bread in the house you okay picking off that mold and eating that bread no there's gotta be some other starch i can have in the house i'm gonna say yes okay picking off moldy eating that bread fine okay and if the kids don't know that you did it that's actually fine okay they can do they're fine

[37:02]all right maybe i did it wednesday and then got very sick on thursday could not dark turkey meat we throw that in the garbage while people throughout the world are starving honestly honestly the worst stuff in the world russell are you what are you doing with the mold on the bread you're picking it off no i i can't do that i pitch it i don't even i don't even eat things to the end of the bottle like when aaron says he's got to make sure he gets the end of the bottle out of like a hot sauce if it gets close to the end that shit's got to go i'm i'm out i'm out at the end of the bottle it's gone i feel like oh there's

[37:30]all this stuff i gotta clean out like this is gonna be eaten but matt what about you come on you backing me up you my bread brother you taking that bread eating it no i i i chuck things way before yes uh somebody in my house says i should chuck them but you know so i i know i i do you guys follow uh expiration dates even if like they're like fake x like water always has an expiration date on it right like does water really go bad in a bottle no but like do you follow those for everything and it does i don't i hate my job so much that i'll eat anything

[38:04]at any time oh no i gotta miss three days of work with mind-bending food poisoning that causes me to have diarrhea 24 hours a day guess what it's better than my job it's better than going to work so you hate how do we how do we speed this you're firing up then like how do we get this podcast into people's don't worry so that you can just start your stand-up career i've been working on it the last couple weeks i'll tell you i've been that sounds like a good rolling what are these questions that you're listen when he heard do

[38:34]lipa he thought it was his italian long jump coach oh wait i'm reading the wrong notes i'm sorry hey do a lipa uh all right listen okay uh jenny and i we have these friends i don't know do you guys have a set of friends who are just your fun friends like they plan fun things they're good at finding fun things do you guys have that i am that sounds amazing yeah that's russell yeah russell man you got fun friends okay i'm trying to think i mean what what are we going like going out to

[39:02]cool places to eat or like no they've said i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know you're going to you're going to axe throwing or something or they've set up a night where you're going to top golf or something that's like a little bit change of pace kind of but i also kind of fight against doing that stuff like why why do why do we have to resort to you know antics and things like that to have a good time why can't we just go have a beer and hang out but yeah we've got this we've got this couple that we go out with and uh these two guys are our fun

[39:34]friends and they will find fun things to do in the city and invite us to go and it's like every two months maybe every month and a half we go do this we went out to mini golf we did mini golf in new york city okay now that at that was there a waiter that walked around the mini golf course and brought you drinks whenever you wanted yes there you go okay were there lots of people because this new york city is very busy bars all over tvs you can keep track of the games yes however i want

[40:04]you guys think of this we get up there we're a group of four they give us each a putter the guy then says all right this is how you do it your group gets one ball and you play the hole one at a time no no what no exactly i immediately was like what the fuck who's playing mini golf one at a time so we had to play the same hole it was so you watch you watch your wife hit the ball like seven times while you're sitting there having a drink and then and then your next friend goes

[40:34]12 times then you go you hit it in twice oh yeah oh why would you do that they also said oh the max number of times you can hit it is six i was like six that's not even that high it's it should be eight to ten right at least like 12 this is this is the thing with new york everything is five times as expensive and it sucks my balls five times as more like playing one ball at a time did you ask

[41:00]about getting more balls they just say we we don't allow it or what no no this is what the at the start said and it was very clear there is no option like everyone who goes up there has to think that's the stupidest shit ever right well this was a this to me i was just like well this is barely even mini golf like we did mini golf in the city like three weeks ago and i there was a family in front of us for a while a family of five three kids and they were annoying and we eventually had to like we had to play through mini golf because they were so slow but at one

[41:30]point i heard them play through we had to play through we had to jump around them because they were so slow did you did you know let me ask did you say something to them like hey excuse me can you stop the windmill for a second we're gonna play through here we just went around no i didn't want to talk to him but i heard the mom say to one of the kids it's not a competition no like this is literally a competition like you can you can make it as nice as you want you can like you don't have to make it angry but like this is a competition i'm sorry you're if you want it to not be a competition go to the art thing and draw some pictures which is also great uh so listen guys

[42:04]okay mini golf with one ball hey i suggest next time you go to mini golf try it okay and you can see it's not that great although i did get super drunk uh rolling going russell how's it going with you we're only going we're into december so that means it's the holiday season so i thought i had a couple holiday things to share with you guys i told you guys a few weeks ago that um you know i've got the espresso martini problem i've still not being able to shake them correctly i've gotten

[42:30]new glasses i've gotten a new boston shaker which is like the professional the professional shaker which gets more air in there to get the foam going but still not working right but i did also go out but you guys know my other problem is record store i've been going to the record store recently and i went again this problem love it i went back to the what was it called what's the one called matt not electric fetus but the other one hear that russell you go to so many electric record stores and you never know what it's called you have not once gone to a record store where you know the name of it nope not no name records this one's by

[43:04]street matt eat streets in minneapolis it's not electric fetus i don't know this is the one i told you guys before remember how i said they have uh a part of the record store where it's new releases it says sunday monday tuesday wednesday so you can see all the new releases that came in the last week and i was like you know what i should just go check the new releases again when i was doing it they had a holiday section so i picked up four holiday records i wanted to see what you guys

[43:31]thought of them i think three of them might be the three best holiday records in the history of music now i i will say if you do want to hear the best holiday records ever i think we already did that episode once right that was our christmas episode that's when we were like hey let's do a fun episode to get in and then we did it we're like we're never doing that again that takes us one week away from that's going to make our podcast one week longer the first one i got we've talked about this guy before how he's done some bad things but the record is still amazing

[44:01]it's a christmas gift for you we've talked about this one right that's one wow that's some bad things some very bad things yes phil specter we've got the crystals the ronettes darling love a ton of great songs an all-time record we've already listened to it probably christmas three four times yeah that honestly that record should actually be on the list like that should be on the real list that i think it was originally wasn't it i think it was yep yeah because i remember listening to it like in april and i was like oh my god it's a christmas gift for you

[44:31]i was like this is messed up i was like lifting weights and listening to it i was like this is messed up let's lifting to this the next one i got on the list this is probably my personal favorite it's a charlie brown christmas the vince quarry trio yeah wow amazing record right you guys are you guys uh charlie brown peanuts fans russell is that the new reissue or is that was it used this is new it's not used is it candy cane print on the record yeah it's green

[45:01]oh nice yeah those new ones they made a bunch of fun colors russ russell i'm gonna tell you right now i think peanuts is another example of why old people are so lame like they used to watch this stuff and be like wow this is really good it's not it's not good the comic have you ever said that this is one of his favorites no i said the music is the music i love the music have you ever read the comic it's one of the most depressing things like if you read early charlie brown it literally is a kid being like i think i have depression and that's like that's the end it's

[45:33]like oh no this is terrible suck my real shit merry christmas guys amazing so i also got one used the three of them i got were new they only had new ones so i got them but i'll save the one the last one for last the one cheap one i got for two dollars was the tony bennett christmas album i think uh lady gaga made it record this oh my god don't eat wait no he's younger than the lady gaga right oh no lady gaga is coming at me with the cattle prod again i gotta go sing

[46:04]hey oh shannon bomb our home and grace sorry lady gaga what are you singing i could not i started singing oh tannenbaum and i realized i did not know the melody for it the final one that i got and i've got to say i'm gonna say rob's right on something we once gave him a hard time because he confused what she was wearing but i got mariah carey merry christmas which features all i want for christmas is you as the second track on side a and hold up that record also got

[46:35]and rob if you i will hold it up for you we've had discussion before whether she was wearing a snowmobile suit or some sort of slinky red outfit on the cover she is wearing a hot red outfit it is not a snowmobile suit oh look at that hot red outfit i mean that is real guys it exists this this might be the first time i've heard this song all year what i think so i guess it is only december 1st so as part of getting the holiday records you can

[47:07]let this roll for a little bit rob while we continue to talk about my holiday experience we went and got uh the first christmas tree of the new place i'm living in so it's not my tree anymore it's our tree i've been told yep yeah well that's i mean that's kind of how that works she's like she's like why do you have so many ornaments of nba players does she wonder that why that is definitely we're part of the conversation with yeah do we need to have a macho man tree topper

[47:35]where he's like coming with an elbow off the top rope off your tree well let's just get right to it then there was definitely a point where my tree topper was given to me by my nephew a few years ago it is a disco ball star so you plug it in and it is putting like disco ball lights all over the the ceiling of the living room right can i can i have an amazon link to that i know somebody in my life so i can see how your dad gets down to that it's pretty cool

[48:02]i saw santa eating ass under the christmas tree what oh my god so it goes up and it's up there for about an hour and and what i've realized is that i have all these christmas ornaments i got some from my mom a few years ago and i've got stuff from my nieces and nephews over the years but i've got stuff from when i was a kid right i've got two boxes full of stuff so it could fill up most of the tree not fully but i've got lights i've got everything the new uh humbug we might have to call her here oh no shots fired a humbug she didn't have

[48:37]anything like that we have a few ornaments together that we've gotten like when we went on the wine train we got something but she didn't have any of that stuff and so the the tree topper went up and she looked at it and said you know what she clearly was not happy with the disco ball tree topper and she said i liked it when it was in your house i do not like it but it's in our house yeah whoa can i can i tell you russell i had this same exact experience

[49:04]two times once when i brought a fake toy moose head that was stuffed and you put it on the wall like you had shot it yes and my wife did not want that in our apartment and it i was totally befuddled i was like why would you not want this it's brilliant and then the other time when i without asking the family bought a darth vader tree topper and the family decided that was not good they were like we don't not like christmas being associated with darth vader and i was like that makes sense so then there was definitely a comment and i worked the the humbug at the house

[49:35]may be out and ordering their own our tree topper because my tree topper is not cutting the cheese or cutting the mustard here wow what are you what are you going angel or star for all i care the damn disco ball star is staying up there that thing is awesome there's no getting around that being awesome that's great have you have you put this side hey if you want it you take it down if you want to take it down no go ahead you know but i'm not taking it down that is let her let her man if i said that it will be gone in under eight seconds i'll tell you that there's

[50:04]we have a stool in our house it'll be gone gotcha do you think a tree topper would be the worst christmas present to give somebody my nephew got me one i was amazing i well if it's a disco ball one that's awesome but you get it and then like immediately you got to take it down you know what i mean like it's a present that you can't use post-present like it would be great next year but i don't know the other the other comment matt is there are definitely a couple i've got a rick flair and a john scene ornament my nieces and nephews they get me uncle russ ornaments and if my nieces

[50:33]and nephews give me stuff that shit is going up on the tree without question there's no question good man and we'll just say the humbug made a comment this last week the comment was just because your nephew got you something doesn't mean you need to put it up oh and it struck a chord with me what would you guys have thought of if the if the the significant other made that comment to you well this is one of those ones where you say look there's hills of ion there's not hills to die on making fun of my nieces and nephews that's a hill i'm gonna die on

[51:05]dear and just you know leave it at that let's see let's see how let's see how the tone goes from there i wonder what if some of her nieces got her a bunch of christmas ornaments this year special messages on it and then she did how about this next year she'll hang that up russell and she'll say oh these are my special ornaments from my nieces and they say you know i love you you know and then you say get that shit off the tree hey russell it's a long con but i think it's so good if you want to see how that goes go to episode

[51:34]2 22 that's next year's christmas okay 222 see how russell's scheme to get back at his bah humbug went so that's that that's my holiday update so we've we're going through not my tree anymore it's our tree wow makes sense but yeah you gotta stick up for your your family man it's not my venus he's not your venus he's welcome to uh being a relationship russell okay sometimes they're making you throw away stuff you

[52:09]love and sometimes they're bringing you uh girl scout cookies you never know what's gonna happen hey rob and sometimes they're locking themselves out of the house and you've got to come home early from work oh let's just move it on it's this is a music podcast you locked yourself out of the house again oh yeah it was me i locked myself out rob uh so listen we've got simon we've got

[52:31]garfunkel okay this is their simon ampersand garfunkel what go ahead are you making a gorp joke because i'm down you know i'm down i want to hop into this uh listen they just got done simon and garfunkel i said this is their fifth and final album they had just gotten done doing the graduate soundtrack which was a ginormous hit of the year and they just got done doing the graduate soundtrack soundtrack which was a ginormous hit of the year and they just got done doing the graduate soundtrack soundtrack which was a ginormous hit of the year and they just got done doing the graduate soundtrack soundtrack which was a ginormous hit of the year and they just got done doing the graduate soundtrack soundtrack which was a ginormous hit of the year and they just got done doing the graduate soundtrack which was a ginormous hit for them debuted at number one huge and so basically simon would always come in and work on songs and then they'd take a break and he'd write songs and they'd come

[53:03]in and record and then simon would write songs and take a break so our garfunkel said hey this time when you're taking a break i am going to go pursue my dreams and i'm going to be in a movie called catch 22 all right and simon paul simon's like yeah fine whatever just get out of here well it turns out recording this movie took way longer than they thought and art couldn't leave and it's so it totally screwed up recording this album and it caused a ton of friction between these two who already pretty much could not stand each other

[53:32]so the whole theme of this album is basically they know this is the end they are this their relationship is the troubled water the last song in this album is literally a song of like this is my song to you goodbye um and so they take forever to record this thing in fact it takes so long they have to turn down going to a little uh festival upstate new york called woodstock ever heard of it okay speaking of charlie brown uh and so they're recording this album and we start to see

[54:00]them getting away from folk they're getting into more into um experimental music and we're going to hear some tinges of world music even that we see paul simon uh pursuing later this album comes out juggernaut there's just no other way to put it it won six grammys it debuts at number one it's album of the year and at the time it comes out this is the best-selling album of all time and what year okay say the year what year was it released this was released in 1970 okay okay so

[54:36]let's get into this and listen to bridge over troubled water when you're weary so he wanted this simon wrote this song and this is one of the big things that simon has cited all the time is i can't tell but i think paul simon might be a dickhead just from the stories about him and one of the things is that he wrote this song he begged garfunkel to sing the solo he said

[55:03]i need your voice i want this to sound like gospel i need this falsetto and then he said every time he sang it and the guy was playing piano and paul simon's off of the song he said i need your voice and the crowd's going crazy paul simon would go fuck you that's my song and it's like oh what wait a minute he said one of his biggest regrets is having art garfunkel sing this song and get all the attention art garfunkel is a good singer this is he's good singer right but other recordings of

[55:31]this are better right like willie nelson's is better or reha's is better great song though it's a brilliant song i think art garfunkel maybe is not the strongest singer of all time although i do love how his voice meshes with paul simon's but this song was number go ahead aaron i mean he's really like he's out there really naked like he's like his this is very vulnerable the way it's recorded so i respect that well speaking of naked bridge over troubled water i did that once when i was a junior in college that's you

[56:00]and your dad yeah it was double high fives yeah it was double high fives high tens um this song was numbers one for six weeks when it came out just a huge huge next up el condor pasa now did they get sued by somebody from south america for copying this song yeah damn right they did you know i love talking about that stuff i love copyright infringement sometimes what's crazy is then yeah he didn't learn from

[56:32]it right he did this in 1970 and then did it again what 15 years later so i can just keep stealing from indigenous peoples i mean i will say go ahead rob well i was just saying you this is kind of where you start to see his love of world music well here's the thing about that song rob is that he's not the only person who loved world music and specifically wind instruments oh it turns out a lot of rappers love wind instruments too nice rappers love the flute

[57:00]he's not the only one so i thought i thought with a little help from a friend of mine who happens to also be in this podcast i thought i would make a list it's my my night for a list of flute rap songs we've talked to flute on rap before you guys remember to the dr dray it was the kid who made out with samantha removes the boss that played the jazz flute on the chronic yep yep so we're gonna do a little more and i was gonna say i am the best friend who helped him with this list i

[57:32]was a little sick though so i couldn't help out with some of it but did rob come up with the list then tell you to do it like it happened to be a week ago or not no no i had i had a collaborator i had a different collaborator who had some music and i was like oh my god i'm gonna do a little more great great ideas on this list so the first song on the list that was one of my personal favorites this is who you think i am by mf doom off of the album operation doomsday i suggest i suggest proper cop the buzz i cop the dutch i got a lot of love with no strings you can hear the flute loop in there we got plenty times times times too many

[58:05]aaron where's where's mf doom out of mf doom is out of anywhere i mean he's east coast he's definitely new york city and he's a one of the all-time best songs in the world great underground rappers he just died maybe two years ago um definitely a new york rapper and influenced a lot of people and his legacy lives on for a long time does mf doom have a lot of like interesting instruments in his songs we heard about we didn't have the accordion on one

[58:30]of his songs once that we listened to too yeah the meat grinder song off mad villainy yeah he was great with finding samples because he did a lot of his own beats as well as as well as rhyming so he had he was always digging in the crates finding cool stuff that sounds like me at great at finding samples i mean i'm great hey yeah hey it's me italian guy i had not to get to pizza yet give me a slice of pizza too if you were a rapper rob would you be called rob wharf doom oh russell i can't believe you didn't say that till the end that was so good i enjoyed that

[59:05]here's me here's me at costco it's me coming by and i have a mario hat on the second time i'm like oh do a leap i give me a pizza please and then the next time i come by i'm like oh i'm wearing a luigi hat i'm like oh it's a me i'm a different guy give me a pizza next rapper is a guy we've not heard from yet and might never hear from again a great freestylist the rapper russ did you guys know the rapper named russ i've never heard of this i had no idea this is russ doing the flute song i love this this is great

[59:38]i don't believe yeah i do whatever i want russ does whatever he wants anytime you can get like a combination of a monty python scene with rap music i gotta give matt the credit matt found this one but i do know the rapper russ a little bit from watching his la leakers freestyles but i did not know he had done the flute song so check

[60:00]it out russ doing the flute song next rap song i think it's sick but the fact that that guy's name was russ i'm insanely jealous right now i'm like i'm so jealous that russ got the slight modicum of attention any rob on here uh here's a classic i think most people know this one future with mask off great flute on this one by most people would you say more than one person on the podcast or not yeah this is like the podcast knows this one you russell you should know this song just

[60:32]in case somebody asks you what's a what's a recent rap song that's good like you know how much little i know about current music i don't know we can talk spotify rap maybe next week or something like that i don't know if you guys got your spotify rap song i don't know if you guys got your spotify rap song but i saw that minnesota had they had the list of like the top five most played songs over the last year i had literally heard of none of them and then i went and listened to them and i've literally heard none of them that was the exact same thing i think there's isn't there one taylor swift song otherwise the other four there's some guy i took a screenshot of it

[61:04]i had no idea hold on let me find the guy's name quick uh morgan wallen never never heard of star isn't he a country guy i think so i'll tell you what amazon music has fucked up again they do no sort of rap they do nothing i would pay money to see what songs i've listened to the most over amazon music they won't do it they're a useless service oh sarah got it there we got that but yeah

[61:32]you know no rap though i wanted it so bad 1993 doggy style actually we're talking about uh in utero i think next week right and i was looking in utero we'll get to it but was made it to number one that year and you look at some of the artists that were number one in 93 man i think you matt said 93

[62:04]or 94 one of those 94 94 but 93 has got amazing amazing number one albums got it there's a garth brooks we've got the bodyguard there's me and i've got the bodyguard there's me and i've got the meatloaf it's just endless amazing albums and one of them snoop dog was on the top made it to number one in the the album of the year the hot album of the year whatever for like three four weeks amazing can i can i just i want i want to stop down here for just a second and tell

[62:36]everybody in case you were listening a couple episodes ago and we were confounded by snoop saying he's not doing any smoke and we were so sure that snoop was doing like edibles or something like that i my mind was blown when these guys texted me and told me that snoop was endorsing solo fire pits i could not believe that he was in i i was just like how can you be endorsing a fire pit and still i think you're cool like he is so cool he's like

[63:05]stratospherically cool anybody else endorsing a fire pit as a celebrity i would roast him i can't do it with snoop he's too cool oh jeez jeez oh gosh i think

[63:33]first air first air uses the term pleasure yourself earlier the podcast and now this aaron's aaron's man he didn't use a different word for this too one word he likes to use quite a bit now i will say this guys my wife and i were taking a nap the other day i put on this album and she was like this out this is great we like had a nap together to this music and then all of a sudden the last

[64:02]track on this album he is going like plonk plonk plonk plonk it's it's so and i was like are you serious i cannot and after this so i had to tell alex to turn off and then jenny woke up and then that was it and then i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry as a whole waking up the mummy it was very bad but that's it that's the list the list of flute rap songs shout out to my my inspiration on this list shout out to rappers who put in their music or you might even play it themselves just like paul simon hired some you know to me it's just

[64:33]it's such a weird instrument to put in any sort of like modern music the fruit and it's all over and you just see it all over it's like one of those things so i don't know i love it i love the jazz flute herbie mann lloyd mcneil i'm all about it bobby humphrey so are we just do you think we're just fucked on this podcast like we're doing rap songs that have flutes in it we're just we're in trouble aren't we like we're starting to have to like do weird combinations we only got 300 something episodes left right good you know what actually

[65:04]i'm kind of thrilled that kind of makes me happy you guys have to talk to somebody has to talk to me uh next up the song that saint olaf alumni magazine said is the number one song that people got manually brought to orgasm by in 2000 okay there is no way that you did not either come or know somebody who came to the song what are you talking about this song was on every dorm room like if you went to a woman's floor in saint olaf in 2000 this song was playing out of at least three

[65:34]rooms always the only other son that played more out of those rooms rob was sublime caress me down wow didn't know she had that gi juggle kung fu grip guys is there one episode where we're not talking about sublimes caress me down please pulled out my mushroom tip oh that got all the way down drip drip drip aaron we are running so long i have to not i have to ignore that you said

[66:05]that uh listen that was got got all the way up to number four on the charts this song now i gotta say guys when i when i put on this album i was disappointed because i'm so used to their greatest hits album and i was like there's songs on here i want to hear america i want to hear some song and then i heard this song which i had never heard before and i thought it was great one of my favorite songs on the album it's like rockabilly and they're talking about their exhausting truth feels like highway 61 inspired to me oh but with harmonies i mean the hook on

[66:36]this song i was singing this slander libel words i never heard in the bible right it's so good yeah this is a good song there's horns on this plus this one yes there's an organ there's a lot of music going on in this album and this song the bells oh this this this whips it whips so so long frank lloyd wright is is this the only song ever about an architect

[67:04]well you guys haven't heard this i am pay uh freestyle that i'm coming out with pretty soon oh what a pull what a pull there's some uh congas on this uh i was reading the drummer on this album was a session musician named hal blaine this guy was a legend i just had to share some of this stuff with you he played on six consecutive grammy award record of the year winners six in a

[67:32]row where he was playing the drums on it he had herb albert and the tijuana brass for a taste of honey a little taste frank sinatra strangers in the night 1967 the fifth dimension up up and away in 68 and then simon and garfunkel mrs robinson in 69 and then the fifth dimension again aquarius let the sun shine in six straight where he played on like the number one album of the year and then he's also played on 39 songs that made it to number

[68:04]one 39 wow wow help me ronda by the beach boys i got you babe sunny and share good vibrations beach boys one of my favorites uh windy by the association oh good song aaron maybe one of your favorites thank god i'm a country boy john denver it's this guy on the drums they've got some musicians on this that that really whip is the way you said it rob yes this hal blaine man you start reading about his his that's quite a discography rolodex of songs he whips you can you

[68:34]can hear the good vibrations right when it pauses and it goes good yeah he's i mean you just that's pretty iconic yes he is in the wrecking crew if you want to see interviews with him that wrecking crew documentary is an all-timer it's a must if you like this podcast it's a must watch uh i was disappointed because i thought so long frank lord right was about uh frank lord writes i am pepe you know what i mean in his pants so long anyway the boxer the boxer i am pepe was that a good joke this

[69:07]aaron said he had the the list this week and i thought for sure he was gonna go best songs ever on snl paul simon did this on snl after 9 11 have you guys watched this or have you ever watched this back no it's a must watch um i think it's on like mbc.com you can't get on youtube or whatever but right after this is when like before rudy giuliani like completely went

[69:30]off the deep end right and like i think people some people liked him i don't know if anyone did but some people did seemed like he met the moment at the time but it turns out but it's right after 9 11 and giuliani comes out with the policemen and the firefighters and then they pan over to paul simon and he plays the boxer it is so good fantastic song i love it this is the opener to side two of the album the session to make this was a hundred hours they used they were the first people ever to use 16 tracks they had two eight track recorders

[70:00]and had to synchronize them to get all the different sounds that are on there oh can one one other thing on that rob can you go to the end on that last one on the boxer is it like a ship horn or what's going on at the end of this song you're talking about like this right there right what is that i'm almost positive that's a contrabass because i saw that there was a contrabass in the song that was like a ship horn explain to these dum-dums what a contrabass is i don't i'm not sure it's like a bass clarinet right this is a wind

[70:30]instrument or not no i think it's a double reed though okay well a clarinet is a double reed oh do you think a clarinet's a double reed like an oboe oh it's not it's a single reed oh you're right oh who's the music expert on the show you're correct me baby i think we've talked about this once before i bought this record a few weeks ago and i've listened to it a bunch of times but this has to be the most insulting record cover in the history of records it is literally just paul simon standing right in front of garfunkel's face you can see him from the nose up why would they do that

[71:04]why would they put paul simon in front of garfunkel's face paul simon's face on the front of a record either like what i mean there's no album art like who's thinking about there's only one reason there's only one reason that paul simon's in front of our garfunkel and that's because if you made it the opposite you would see zero percent of paul simon he's approximately four foot three i guess so he's tiny anytime you see him in concert it's shocking how tiny he is baby driver this song is very very jim croce to me one of my favorites i

[71:30]love jim croce it's very beach boys it's about a rich kid who wants to go get laid finally a song we can all relate to guys this album is getting jobbed at one third at 172 just there's bangers on this including this one of my my favorite song on the album only living boy in new york the only living boy

[72:00]i love this now listen at the there's a part here where you hear him say ah art garfunkel said they're in the studio screaming as loud as they can and they mix it down so it sounds like they're just going ah listen to this right there oh there they were screaming their brains out to get to that part of the beatles and they mix it down studio they come out of the studio after and who's standing there it's bob dylan who's come to see him that day and all he saw was

[72:30]him in the studio going ah i mean dylan kind of yeah dylan definitely kind of hangs over this record as a specter to me like it feels like they're they're singing songs for dylan in some ways yeah and he's got a gun like the other specter we talked about today phil yeah uh the other person they were singing this these songs for was beck you guys know beck huge simon and garfunkel fan huge fan matt hello hello hey hey huge i'm huge garfunkel who are you

[73:00]so a lot of people a lot of people if i'm huge garfunkel matt who are you huge beck i don't know you're huge simon and we're huge simon and garfunkel man man those improv lessons i got you did you even go i bought you a gift certificate i was there for like five minutes yes and i'm gonna leave so a lot of people a lot of people consider morning phase by beck to really be a tribute album to

[73:30]simon and garfunkel actually check out this song this is turn away from morning phase check this out see if you're the similarities quick wow i mean you can just hear it right there you can hear it like crazy simon and garfunkel yeah but he's doing it with himself right it's just it's all you're right aaron i'm absolutely right he said in an interview with npr in 2014 he was talking about the harmonies of this song and they mentioned it and he was like oh my god it's so

[74:00]dumb and he said that garfunkel's voice always did it for him that kind of singing a very soft unforced high register he said it's very difficult to do and he liked it so much that he just did the harmonies by himself he played did both parts but so when it comes to being influenced by simon and garfunkel on an album of the year who did it better beck did it better let me ask you this beck can sing simon garfunkel but could art garfunkel sing loser

[74:30]i don't think so okay something to think about uh next up did garfunkel ever do anything else is he like a loser outside of simon and garfunkel or not they both they had singles and his didn't do as well but he really wanted to do acting that was like his big bug that he had uh why don't you write me this is kind of a reggae not gonna lie end of this album snooze fest i think bye bye love

[75:00]aaron where did they record this in ames iowa and there's some question about whether or not the liner notes are correct or is this yeah no one's exactly sure what this concert was but it seems like it must have been related to visha which is the spring uh festival in ames but no one's entirely sure how they ended up there or why this ended up on the album right i i don't know why it's on the album and i also don't know if you're in a crowd and a band starts playing bye bye love you stand up and go crazy

[75:30]like i think you stand up and you start clapping it's a fun song who's the original singer of that everly brothers right yeah i mean like that's a it'd be like if uh some song from 20 years ago came on i mean i'd be like if whitney houston stole the bodyguard right or well she didn't steal it'd be just like doggy style right if doggy style if somebody came on and said doggy style we're like yeah this is great but i didn't know they were from iowa too man aaron that makes fish came on and started singing so much drama in the lbc

[76:00]it's good straight off the window i love that fish song it's one of my favorites uh song for the asking now i gotta say this is the basically a song where they recorded saying we know we're gonna break up okay so let me tell you they did break up the year after this album and then they put out singles it didn't go so well they tried they would get back together for like little concerts here and there little fundraisers and pretty soon so beautiful they started to say

[76:30]hey i think this is actually working out between us let's do a world tour like in the 80s within three weeks of being on tour together they stopped speaking for the rest of the tour never to really they just figured like we cannot work together we are not good together this is literally the case of two people that you'll never see them produce this kind of art again they just they're they're gasoline and fire they're too combustible together we should tell uh magic mike 69

[77:00]that we know that uh fish did not cover that song right we're gonna call it was not we don't need him calling it again it was on every like kazaa and lime wire was fish gin and juice and that's what everybody believed and meanwhile the gourds were like what the fuck one duo that also covered this song were the brother and sister that wrote booze and vinyl oh wow bridge over troubled water

[77:30]oh my god they got a they got a drink for side b but before we get to it i had to share this when do you guys think is the right time to spin this record when you're in a depressive state and no hope and the world is looking bleak yeah maybe winter right at sundown i would say probably a kid's birthday party these guys you're all up you're close to right it's drinks with old friends is what they're saying drinks all right oh hmm so they call up all my friends

[78:00]my old friends on side b they're recommending an air mail have you ever had an air mail no i've had an air bud but you know and you know what the thing was now here's the thing about air bud russell i looked and i looked through the rule book and you want to guess what wasn't in the rule book there's no rule saying that dog could play basketball there's nothing about dogs play basketball turn out can you imagine

[78:30]you go to watch a game you get off work early you leave somebody has to do some work for you go there and you watch your kid just get fucking dominated by a dog in basketball you'd have to pull them off the team i would i would be mad at the kid i would be mad at the coach all dogs just be mad at every dog you've ever i'd be like how did you guys get beat by a dog you are humans look at the size of your brain that dog i just saw it outside eating somebody else's shit you know what i mean like

[79:00]if you saw michael jordan peeing outside and then sniffing where somebody else peed like he's in the trough at the metrodome sniffing he's not going to come and put 60 on you he's not going to yam it in your face okay that's what air bud did all right he ate grass so he could not be constipated and then won a basketball game it's my dream come true okay russell go ahead who won this podcast has seen air bud matt nope aaron nope i gotta admit i've never seen air bud either okay

[79:30]so what they they're recommending this air mill drink they said it tastes a lot like a french 75 but it's perfect for listening to the soft contours of listening to art and paul's dulcet towns wow dulcet tones we have one and a half ounces of gold rum three quarters ounce fresh lime juice three quarters ounce honey syrup no way and then topping it off with champagne or something like that

[80:00]sparkling wine with a lime peel and if you guys notice i'm drinking it in my new espresso martini shaped glass i'm drinking the air mill tonight wow nice and did you have all of these ingredients well aaron i don't have honey strips so i just put honey in there there you go and let it rip it's pretty good i recommend an air mill sounds all right what's gold rum you guys were talking basketball quick i have to mention my brother called me today

[80:30]his son's playing basketball for the first time this year so it's like not like a traveling team it's more like hey learning the game having fun listen russell can i just say if he's playing basketball i hope it's not traveling team that's a violation i think he's playing on a three-second team oh don't say that you're going sensitive about that so he was telling me they have their their last game of the season tomorrow is a tournament they could he said they could play anywhere from three to six games and he's required to be there for eight

[81:00]hours is that insane or what that is not yeah no not going to encourage the kids to come back to basketball right for an end of season ending tournament one day out of 365 playing basketball eight hours bad do you do that with your kids eight hours at the gym no but if you're in a tournament you know you have to i mean your brother lives out you know he doesn't live like in the city so i mean i'm guessing he's got to travel a little bit no this is a local tournament up in bemidji okay wow eight hours seems like a bit of time i'm guessing he's got to travel a little bit

[81:30]rough i'd lose so much money i'd be down i'd be down two thousand dollars by the end of that oh my god listen betting on the games the other team had a dog i thought it was a fucking lock buddy i bet five thousand dollars but the team had a goddamn dog you've got to bet it if they run it out there like they're not going to run out a dog that doesn't know how to play right well you would think that if you looked in the rule book there would be something about how

[82:00]dogs can't play basketball or avoid the bets okay but i guess what i looked i looked aaron and you know what the rule book said nothing about a dog playing basketball okay it's crazy if you had if you were gonna if you were gonna have a basketball team full of kids from wyoming but they got the teen wolf on their team versus a basketball team from new york and they got air bud who wins the team led by air bud or the the teen wolf oh a teen wolf teen wolf is teen wolf would

[82:30]destroy air bud you think so yeah teen wolf played high school basketball air bud played for the knicks wait that's a great point but boy now you've got me thinking i gotta watch air bud and wait so now russell has seen air bud as well i'm assuming i think air bud's got to be a pro player he didn't play like a middle school basketball right no he didn't air bud when you think air bud is playing like against dikembe mutombo it's got to be who who want to fuck air bud what team did

[83:00]air bud in the club saying who want to fuck air oh no i almost passed out oh okay air bud is in vegas with carmen electra can't get back to the team all right listen okay let's get into the race join the school basketball team i don't think yeah no i don't think they got an mba license to listen air bud maybe division

[83:30]three you know who he could go play for okay he could maybe go play for st. olaf coach kaz yes i think coach kaz would get air bud and do okay all right couldn't do much worse all right listen dude this album the the cover of the movie shows air bud dunking he's not just bumping it up from his nose like he's a like he's a dolphin at sea world he's dunking the ball with his front paws it's pretty advanced

[84:00]now i was gonna do this afterwards but i just want to say there's also an air bud movie where he plays baseball i feel like that would be one of the least effective things that a dog could do is baseball right like i could see a dog playing soccer great a dog playing water polo actually probably better like it makes sense to me a dog doing baseball i mean i'm just gonna say one word and i want you to think about this a glove where's it going where's it is it going on his nose it

[84:30]makes no sense i gotta see what air bud unless he was a manager i mean you're not you're not required to wear a glove in baseball so he could just catch it with his mouth wow you know oh my god oh my god man a dog would be one of the best outfielders of all time if it could catch the ball in its mouth how do you get it in back into the infield run it in fast yeah guys i didn't want to tell you this but the other day i saw the commissioner of baseball speaking and i saw a little tail coming out of his and i realized this was an air bud ceiling situation what hey there's

[85:05]nothing in the rule book saying the commissioner can't be a dog i was wondering why he said that the contract negotiation with the players union would be rough you know i i do have my uh basketball rules book as put out by the nfhs yes and it says here rule three section one each team consists of five players one of whom is the captain does not say no rule dogs are not allowed to play okay

[85:31]this has five players there is literally there's no definition of player in this book either so it does not say that you know what what the definition of player is so it's not just because you crush a lot does that cover middle school basketball because my eighth grade told coach told me it was in the rule book i was too fat to play technically eighth grade is covered by the nfhs all right so matt do you also have the rule book and does it say anything about mini golf and whether dogs are allowed to play more than one ball at a time do not have that rule book

[86:03]now 172 bridge over troubled water okay it's beautiful it's simon garfunkel when i told people i was doing this album they're like wow okay but have you covered sonic youth no nobody said that now here's the thing do we think this album belongs at 172 or should this be higher this is one of the best selling albums of all time everybody knows this people could everybody could name three or four songs on this

[86:31]album okay if it should be higher that would be rolling boned it should have been higher up should it be lower on the list it's a rolling groan okay or that wasn't quite loud enough let's get another that was way too loud don't like that in my ears i don't like the way it makes me feel okay it makes me feel complicated that would be a rolling groan if it should be higher on the list which of course is a higher number or is this perfect at 172 okay is this the perfect that would be rolling well toned uh russell what do you think rolling well toned rolling boned or

[87:01]rolling groan bridge over troubled water an album i know you own on vinyl i love the boxer i love celia that's got to be on everyone's win amp there to me there's hits on this song or album there's super catchy songs all over it i know that bridge over troubled water is a little more delicate than some other versions we've heard i like other versions i think aaron said that too so i'm on board with that but to me this is super catchy this is fun when i got done with it i turned it and i ran it back again i also say rob you brought up all those accolades at the beginning it was the best selling at the time it won album of the year it won all those things like if you're

[87:34]winning all the accolades and i think you've got super catchy fun songs i know i don't know if paul simon is considered kind of a if people don't like him or what but i like the album i'm gonna say it's rolling boned i think it should be higher on the list i'll listen to this again uh aaron what do you think rolling well toned rolling well toned i don't know if people don't like him or what but i think rolling bone or rolling grown now that was just the right that was asmr to me uh what do you think aaron paul simon i can't disagree with anything russell said but something about i

[88:02]don't know uh something about the week i had where i was at this week this was not what i wanted to listen to so i don't know this one some had some great songs on it i can't argue with the musicianship um but i i didn't run it back once i got through it i don't know why it's just where i was at this week so i'm gonna give it a rolling well toned uh right matt rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling grown i'm gonna say about the exact same thing that aaron said you know i can't disagree with anything russell said but i think

[88:31]my new uh maybe benchmark for these albums is if they have more than two songs that are good you know like because we're getting into the part of the list where i think you've got one or two great songs and then an album that kind of fills in the rest of it i think this has got three the boxers cecilia and bridge over troubled water after that i mean i could i could take or leave the rest of it and just not listen to it ever again so i'm gonna go with rosie and say it's rolling well toned uh listen unfortunately you

[89:01]guys are incorrect shit okay this was unrolling end of relation ship okay yeah this is two guys who just know that this isn't gonna work out relation they know that all the work they've done on the other albums have been leading up to this they know this is going to work out this is going to be their last stand this is their alamo okay this is them this is everything and you can hear these guys really pour their heart out and i'll tell you what i mean with

[89:30]this title of this song okay i mean bridge over troubled water you just realize what they're going for and that reminds me we're actually changing the name of this podcast uh to uh uh our podcast is now called beck did it better and one of you guys keeps sending my wife dick pics and it's a big one when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time no offense but i think it's aaron well i just think a name should be listen i'm not gonna lie that was supposed to be my

[90:02]opening joke and my closing joke was their best work about to split up so i think we'll be together for a while and somehow i got them mixed up i don't know better rob earlier i was talking about that guy hal blaine the drummer who had all the hits one of the hits that we didn't get a chance actually richard gear's favorite song by captain and tenille it's muskrat love it wasn't a muskrat that would be huge muskrat is giant russell that'd be like that'd be like a scene from alien oh well maybe maybe something was sucking and blowing one way from the other

[90:36]right oh team team bring it in bring it in listen dwarf wharf hey give me that gorp i am pay now listen we're down to 10 points in the fourth quarter okay we're going we only have four players okay but i just had the craziest idea