SECRET LIVE SHOW------ Buzzcocks: Singles Going Steady (1979)

[00:00]Here's the deal. 16-song album. We're going to talk about the first eight and cruise through the last eight. Last eights are all the B-side, so we're going to give them B-side time. Are we going to talk about how disappointing our listeners are that this is not a live show? I wasn't going to, Aaron, but you do. Do we need to get into that now? Should we analyze that right now? Rob, let's say it is a live show and throw in a bunch of sound clips like you would hear on a sitcom.

[00:30]Like have people cheering in the background and act like we did a live show. Let's say we're at Kohl's Resort and say it's a live show. Oh, my God. Say it in Minneapolis and then people think they did not get invited. Were we going to say we're at the Ice House? Here we go. Who would be more upset, John or Chad? If we did that and didn't tell them, who would be more upset? I think Chad would be. John? Oh, yeah. Okay, so I'll put a bunch of echo on our things here for this opener.

[01:00]Okay. Hey, thanks to you, everybody. Of course, this was the live show that we did in Minneapolis over the summer. We only told some of our biggest fans. Okay, excuse me. Exclusive yes list. We were doing a live show here. We're trying to. We're trying to. Give it a round for us, guys. All right, thank you. Thank you. The Ice House has been great. It has been great. Thanks for coming. We took the time to set this up. All the love in this room.

[01:30]Oh, my gosh. Thank you. We'll talk to you later. And you know what? Thanks for coming out and playing guitar on the intro song just like I was planning. You can't say that. Yeah. It's a live show. Rob doesn't get the bit. It's a live show. What can I do? So, anyway, should we get started with the show, everybody? What do you think out there? It's great for Magic Mike to come up, and hopefully maybe Magic Mike will stick around for another week and do Elton John with us next week, too. Right, Rob? Can you believe? I would love that. I think that'd be great.

[02:00]Guys, can you believe it? We're really doing a live show. It's amazing. Should we touch fingers like always? We're always going to touch fingers. Yep. Okay, we're touching fingers. There you go. There we go. Okay. We all thought about what shirts we were going to wear, and we all wore our Beck Did It Better shirts, and that's kind of embarrassing that we're all wearing up in stage. So, you know what? This is going way better than I thought. But I just wanted to say, gray penis. Gray penis. You finally got a laugh for that one.

[02:33]You did it. Yeah, good. Hey, does anybody out there want to hear a parody song today? Let's hear it. Rob didn't. All right. Okay, I can't. Okay. Here we go. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums. Think of how bad that went. Think of how badly that went. We can never do a live show. No. We were right. No. We were right. We had to totally plan it and do all the work and then cancel it because we realized that

[03:02]it wouldn't be good enough for our fans, and actually, they only deserve the best. Only the best. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone Magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated, and not because we were worried that nobody would come. Can you imagine, guys? If we put out a podcast, the only person there was like Jenny, and she's pissed that she's there. Oh, my God. That'd be so bad. Celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to make this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research.

[03:30]All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 250, and from 1979, we have the only band named after a method to make your penis look bigger, the Buzzcocks, with singles going steady. Why would you buzz your cock? Yeah, why would you? That's crazy. There's no hair on there. The hair doesn't grow up there. It's so crazy. When you get older. I'm a control. Permission to buzz the cock.

[04:01]Permission denied. Permission denied. It's too dangerous. You got to put a guard on there. Be very careful, especially if you have a certain anatomy. You got to be careful. Now, listen. Actually, Aaron, but that reminds me. There was an indie band I listened to. You maybe have heard of them. It's called Weights, Ropes, and Some Velcro. That's the other band. All right. You know what? From there, let's just go. Why mess around anymore? Let's get right into it, and let's turn on. K-Rob. K-R-O-B.

[04:30]And yes, there is a Buzzcocks parody, which I thought would never happen in a million years, but here we are. What's up, everybody? Welcome to K-Rob. K-R-O-B. Well, where is Russell? I just, I made him this delicious roast, and he said he'd be home by six. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, Russell told his partner, yeah, I'll be home by six, but he still is looking at electric feed as he's a wreck at the door. And the room, we finally had it. He's walking down the aisles, and they're much as thin, and he's looking for a super

[05:02]perverted album. He's a wreck at the door, had it, and the room, he finally had it. Russell, when are you coming home? We can be on the couch looking at our phones. He comes home and says, yeah, look what I bought. It's an album with a naked lady holding a gun. He's a wreck at the door, had it, and the room, it's really strict. Russell comes home, it's time to punish him, and he spanks his ass with every album.

[05:33]It's a wreck at the door, had it, and his butt is getting calloused. Uh-oh, you bought a double album? That's a double spanking. No, I didn't turn up the heat. Oh, my gosh. Why would you mention the heat could be turned up again? That's so crazy. Just because winter's coming up, and Russell has to go work overtime to pay for his heating bill. Now, Russell, you probably didn't think that song was going to turn into you getting spanked, but it did.

[06:03]I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Yeah, that surprised me. That did it better. I have to say, while I was writing that song, I did picture Russell getting bent over somebody's knee and spanked, and it made me laugh. It made me laugh really hard, Russell. Sorry, it did. With a wooden spoon or without? Whatever you, well, I guess, whatever you want, Russell. Now you're kind of making it weird. Who do you think would be the funniest on this podcast? To see you get spanked? I think it's Russell.

[06:30]Don't you? Like, just, and I mean really spanked. Like, as hard as, like, it's relieving marks. What are we talking about? Okay, well, let me set it up again. Which one of us would be the funniest to see you get spanked? It's so simple here, and all you have to say is an answer. Rob. Yes? Definitely Rob. Yes? Guess what? Anyway, I've got, we are here talking about the Buzzcocks and Single Going Steady. I've got three guys here who know this album. It's a collection of singles. Just like what Aaron goes through at the strip club and what Russ went through in his 30s.

[07:04]I've got, I've got Matt, I've got Matt, Matt, no, Matt in Minneapolis. How are you doing? Good, Rob. I used to bet that you didn't care. Wow. That's a lyric from the album, I know. And I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, I heard you got caught sneaking out of the front door of the airport Hudson News with stolen dirty magazines. And everyone asked, are those peace? Stains on his jeans? Oh, ho, ho, ho.

[07:31]Let's be clear again. There's only two people on this podcast who have bought pornography at the airport. And it was two of you together doing it at the same time with one magazine. I think we had other friends with us too. Kind of like a lady in the tramp style date, except it's them holding the spread open. I'm like a hustler. This is the greatest vacation ever. Oh, this long plane ride. What am I going to do? Well, I guess look at pornography. That's the correct answer, of course. And I've got Aaron out in California now. Aaron was wondering, you know, how smart can these phones be if it's just made by these little kids?

[08:02]Oh, sad. Jesus. God. It was hard to get past orgasm addict. Like you read orgasm addict on this track list. So that's really, it's the only thing I'm remembering about this album. Let's talk about the Muscox. I've got so many notes on that song. It's crazy how many notes I have on that song. I cannot wait to listen to it. There's nothing else. Listen, no need to mess around, okay? Maybe this is our second time. This is our second recording and it's so late that everybody's mad at Rob for some reason.

[08:31]No big deal. But let's get into the voicemail. The freaks. Won't leave me alone. It's Ross. I just happened to see the Ying Yang Twins this past weekend at a rock slash country music festival. Ying Yang. You might be thinking, what the fuck? And you're correct. That's what I was thinking. Also at this festival was Afro Man. Wow. I'm a big quote 45 guy. What are your favorite funny rap story songs?

[09:03]Hello. I'm a big quote 45 guy. I love this song. And everybody knows from Afro Man. Is this supposed to be funny? I mean, this feels like a good vibe song. No, it's funny. Okay. Afro Man is fucking hilarious. Afro Man, When I Got High is one of the all time funniest songs. Great song. I mean, it's one of those songs where like, you didn't know what it was like to get high and you listen to Afro Man.

[09:32]You're like, oh, I get it. It's like a cautionary tale is really what it is. So guys, the caller is asking about our favorite bunny rap songs. And I'm going to go first. I'll tell you right now to me, because I'm worried somebody's going to take it. You still got to go back to the basics sometime. I like big butts and I cannot lie. It's funny as fuck. It has the, I've noticed that now. That it has the lyric rumpel, rump of smooth skin, steel skin.

[10:02]Is it steel skin? That's what he says. I mean, it sounds like that's what it is. I thought he said, I thought he said rump of smooth skin. Oh, he does. You're right. You're right. You're right. No, you're right. Aaron, what are you into? Okay. I was watching the end of the fight. God damn it. That's not going to make any sense. This album's coming out first. Guys, we just recorded Elton John with a very special guest, but we did it first and now this. This one is coming out this week and that one's coming out next week and we cannot reference

[10:32]that at all. Time machine shit. Oh my God. No, Aaron. You're rumpel smooth skin. That's a great idea. What if you opened up your time machine and somebody from the future just taking a shit in there and send it back and I was like, hey, time machine shit for sure. Where were we going with this? Oh, so. Funny rap song. The song is funny. The video of course is, honestly should probably be in the Smithsonian. It's one of the greatest pieces of work. I've ever seen. It's, it's just absolutely incredible.

[11:00]What is your guys' favorite funny rap songs? There was one, there was kind of like a, it was like a sub genre of like working class dudes who hate their jobs, rap songs. I kind of like those. There's one by, it's called fuck a job and it's by blueprint and it's just fuck a job and what it's all one word. Aaron, you, you know what I want to hear, you know exactly what I'm thinking about at all all times i mean this is basically like johnny paycheck it's one song called fuck a job yeah

[11:32]yes give it to me oh yeah it was soul position it was yeah it was blueprinted rj i like this one i like to be like the guitar and he's mad about his job computers to be clever so this is like rap over like old punk stuff yeah rj d2 was the dj okay russell did you hear what the dj's name was

[12:00]rj d2 that is a great that is a great all-time name god damn that's good soul position this is so good yeah this might have been on rock stars yeah it's maybe it's not in the fully fully funny category but like a guy rapping about hating his job i was always always on for that honestly not that funny to me you know i mean like very very real maybe too relatable right very very sad god i hate my jobs i hate work so much i hate work

[12:32]russell what do you think what's your favorite funny rap song uh with ski low i wish that's kind of a funny rap song right i wish yeah uh ski low now ski i'm not going to talk to you guys about how my ad blocker is not working right now it's this well i hope you fix that for next week grab tune in to find out it's the lack of ad blocker and your slow wi-fi the combined that is making

[13:04]it really rough i knew you guys are gonna roast me for this this would be a considered a funny rap song right oh yeah well certainly when the video is a forrest gump parody yeah i mean now of course this i will take this time to remind you that have you ever read the forrest gump parody forrest gump book that the movie is based on what why would you do that he does oh i'm sorry aaron that uh i like to read this is the guy who says i don't eat plums because

[13:32]they eat nerd clusters i don't read the book because i've seen the movie well but if you see me reading a book and i have like my glasses on i'm really into a book and then you see that it's forrest gump wouldn't that make more sense in the book though he does all different adventures he like goes to space and at one point he's a wrestler named the turd he dresses up like a turd and wrestles people so maybe you do have to read it okay thanks for nothing yeah there you go glad i came to my senses man what do you think funny rap song

[14:02]i don't want to take any errands but i'll just i was trying to think of it's kind of hard to think what is a funny rap song right because i don't know there's uh there's one that instantly comes to mind it's called yo mama by the far side yeah we got a glass eye with a fish in it mama got a big stand yeah that's a great i really don't think of it as like a funny one but there's uh you know i left my wallet in el segundo by yeah who did i i'm drawing it aaron who thinks who's

[14:33]tribe called quest you know which i think is i don't know if it's funny one but i can't i listen to that one all the time but if i had to do like my favorite funny one and aaron tell me if i'm stepping on toes or whatever but i would do a humpty dance by digital oh yes all right we're if you remember we covered that once on a list i should find what list we did over that i don't think we did a deep dive all right i'm not familiar with this who's it who's it by i'm not sure

[15:01]i'm not uh how did i click the wrong video it's still playing i hate this i hate okay this was the song i was gonna pick but i thought it would seem like too much of a joke we deep dive this song on the clash when we did nursery rhymes now russell were there any hobgoblins mentioned in this song that's all i want to know i don't

[15:31]remember why did we mention this oh humpty dumpty and folks this is really at no point is humpty dumpty referred to as an egg that is just art to keep our children's eyes sanitized from a man who is horribly broken from falling off a wall it is an incredibly incredibly sad story now i do have to say this while we get into our rolling

[16:01]going can you imagine going to a rock festival and the ying yang twins show up everybody's up to it did you say one i did i say i said fuck a job by sole position gotcha yeah yeah i think we also have in the place to be there's gonna be some honorable mentions for like cisco and shaggy and they're right like they've got they've got funny rap songs is marquee is marquee's got one i was i was thinking like you like you got what he is

[16:30]inherently funny just because of how he sings it right yeah or when he does benny and the jets like that's funny slick rick i think a lot of slick ricks there's some funny stuff in there yeah uh and of course we can't forget wnut like we can't forget all the skits on some of those albums i think are yeah i mean there's some good ones uh listen aaron roll and going how's it going with you it's going great i last weekend took a trip to the great state of iowa i was on a flight wow nice oh yeah you flew there okay well i flew there

[17:02]went through denver both ways and of course or beck did it better plain old story it's been a while yeah all right all right these are the stories that i like this is legitimately a good song by nazareth about the trip your on we're gonna hear about your flight tonight oh yeah now aaron are we actually going to hear about your flight tonight

[17:31]uh i don't have a whole lot to say about the flight uh i had to take a 5 a.m flight flight out of oakland and went through denver to get to des moines and uh fortunately had i was i had a tight uh turnaround on the way there but it got extended a little bit so i was a little bit delayed getting out of denver which gave me just enough time to drink a ice cream cold coors banquet from the dedicated coors bank with tap at great divide brewing in denver uh and i was able to do that both ways the denver airport man that's a great place for layover you can go outside the little markets have really good food i found some jerky that

[18:04]was called teriyaki balboa you can go down and talk to the illuminati down in the basement that's right that's true that's true if you're brian from apple valley growing up you can fly to denver to play at the arcade and then fly home because your mom worked for delta airlines or whatever oh yeah brian from apple valley would say oh yeah we used to fly to denver just for the arcade and then fly home that's amazing yeah so that guy's rich not a lot to say about the flights but i did i landed into one i had a whirlwind awesome weekend i landed into one on friday uh my brother and i

[18:34]went out for lunch my sister joined us i got to go out and see the headquarters of the way you got a sister yeah i mean i sent you guys you know i sent you a picture i got to go out and see the headquarters of the all iowa attack shoot some hoops in an indoor gym a beautiful hour time yeah although i wasn't i wasn't supposed to be shooting they don't like to allow adults on the court but i got some special dispensation yeah and then saturday was saturday would have been

[19:01]sorry matt go ahead no you say i know somebody i knew somebody i got it i got in there yeah it's your sister can your sister shoot a basketball well like is she a good shot uh no no she's it's this this is actually the wild thing is that her entire life her work life now is devoted to basketball she was never an athlete she was never an athlete she was never an athlete she was never an athlete like she never it wasn't that's hilarious it was not her thing she's not she's a huge fan now huge iowa state football fan huge basketball fan but it was never no she sat playing

[19:30]softball at like age nine at the latest like she was done with sports really early on but now it's a big part of her life so you're saying she was no ac url she was no ac url she was no lefester rhodes she was no justice thigpen she was no hurl beachum i can go on but it's so gross we yeah so friday was great we hung out at my brother's house with his sister shooting those hoops just greater and uh julius meekly there's no way anyone likes this saturday oh i guarantee oh there's people

[20:07]there's some people eating it up saturday was the cyhawk game so this is iowa visiting iowa state biggest day in iowa and the game was in the 11 a.m game the fox big noon show whatever was there and it would have been my dad's 70th birthday so i had to be there it was like well this happened on dad's 70th birthday so i go my sister got there at 6 a.m to start tailgating my brother and i didn't get there till 9 30 a.m

[20:34]we were doing 6 a.m tailgating but 6 a.m tailgating yes she was making espresso and the game is at what time why would you not get there at that why would you not get there that early what the 6 a.m the game was at 11 a.m dude i was like okay it was enough to try i'm on west coast time trying to go two hours east and we also had to take we were taking my uh what is he uh is he my step

[21:02]bro nephew yeah my step nephew needed a ride to the game you were you were i would say you you were kind of a weak tailgater like if if the game's at 11 and you show up at 9 you probably got to walk into the stadium at like 10 15 so you're like you're like a show up for one beer type of tailgater well russell i had three beers from a little bit from the time from 9 30 to 10 30 yeah but my walk took longer because my foot hurt really bad i couldn't figure out why that was that was

[21:30]so strange but yeah we got there at 9 30 the game was at 11 we never were able to find my sister because she was already like wrapping up her tailgate at that point but we just we had a backpack cooler full of beers did a little walk around cyclones ended up winning 16 to 13 on a 54 yard field goal with the last minute to go it was unbelievable and somebody out there cool somebody out there set an alarm for me for the next cyhawk game and please remind me to tell aaron aaron you need to nut up and get up and go

[22:01]tailgate at six there's just no i don't care if you got in at three yes you have to it's the one day you you if i went in rome when in if i found out my sister was getting up to a tailgate earlier than me i would be furious i would never let that happen i would show up 10 minutes later i would never be dominated like that even if it made my life miserable there's just no way i could do it aaron all right so come on all right next year come on next year well it'll be 20 20 27 will

[22:30]be there but i realized this was 2025 the last cyhawk game that i attended that that the last one i attended was 2005 and the cyclones won that one too so that was pretty it was pretty spectacular good luck and then uh hey man they should be bringing it back every year every year they should be flying aaron can i tell you one thing though i didn't want to say anything on the text chain i took iowa state minus three and a half so i was actually quite pissed okay i was pissed off matt can tell you on the text chain he was on it looked like i mean they started out like it was going to be fine and then that's i could have told you

[23:04]rob matt campbell loves three-point victories he's from ohio he all he wants is to win a game by three points that is his number one thing why would you give me a gambling tip for a game you're going to if you would have said this guy loves three-point victories and then i hammered a three-point victory we won you would be a legend that's legendary instead you're in bed while your sister's out tailgating and you're not giving me gambling tips i failed i definitely failed you would think that matt

[23:30]campbell wouldn't be that good of a coach being he just got done spending all those years playing for pearl jam oh russell that's such just retired i can't coach right now i'm drumming for pearl jam yes but yeah absolutely magic day and then you hang out everybody sings sweet caroline they do the alma mater it was all it's just wonderful fun super great so yeah it was a spectacular weekend and then sunday i went to a

[24:00]batting cage i got to go to a batting cage take some hacks in a batting cage it was fantastic weekend so uh that was it that's what's rolling going with me how's it rolling going with matt uh good guys we had i i finally i'm in a sixth fantasy football league this year and i don't want to be but so many fantasy that's a lot that's that's too many fantasy creep is real though it happens but then you know so for like five years at work i've heard of like this fancy guy the upper big bosses have this fantasy football league and the

[24:30]guy that i know who runs it i'm every year i'm like hey when are you gonna let me in when you know just as a joke kind of like you know when are you gonna let me in and so they finally said hey one guy retired you want to come i'm like hell yeah i'll come so i go the most boring draft in your life oh no the most you know it's in person and it's guys just a bunch of eggheads that are just around you know the worst the most boring draft the other thing is to be fair at least they show up to a draft some leagues i know a couple of guys do a yahoo auto draft now look

[25:03]there's there's no draft right rob uh yeah and some people actually have to run it because nobody else will they don't do it it's gonna die no some people don't want to run it but they are even though they should be technically they should be able to run it they should be able to run it they're probably the worst person possible to be running something of this magnitude especially when they're sending out texts the week before did i pay last year last year who won can you imagine if can you imagine if adam silver came out or

[25:30]or whether he was just like did i pay you guys can you just tell me real quick i can't quite figure this out check your pay stuff but is there any worse thing place to go than to check something than venmo venmo might be something i use the most that has the worst interface of all time is it's venmo especially especially for you because you your your venmo history is unbelievably large it's pretty big but if you're trying to like search it or like searching for somebody's name on listen don't get me started on venmo i can't you can't we paid our when we were renting we were

[26:03]paying our landlord on venmo and then that became a real problem we were trying to buy a house it was like have you you know it's like send us the records that you paid your yeah paid your rent everything they're like we can't send a venmo screenshot for your for these records it was terrible and how come everyone says a label like sex toys haha or for sex for sex not for sex oh this one you put not for a second that's totally so on top of being boring uh my boss's boss ordered pizza for everybody okay and you guys know

[26:35]oh i have issues with vegetables fancy pizza wasn't it not one just straight up pepperoni not one just straight up cheese they were all fancy pizzas not what everything had a vegetable onion yeah i'm gonna tell you what i would have done onion and then you tell me what you would have done what you did or what i

[27:00]did yeah even if i hated what was on there i would eat a piece of pizza because i'm with the bosses and i want to fit in it's like when i drank a beer when i went to that coach's meeting that one time and they knew something was up because it took me 45 minutes to drink one beer uh i would have eaten the pizza i would have eaten the pizza i would have eaten the pizza i would have eaten the piece of pizza russell would you have eaten the piece of pizza yeah you gotta you gotta choke it down you you certainly can't and i mean this respectfully matt you certainly can't say is there is there a cheese pizza only yeah no and i would not you know okay no i'm not gonna go

[27:30]so wait wait what would you do go ahead i would eat it because i was hungry i love aaron so much man what'd you do so there was one there was a pepperoni mushroom okay and so that's the one i decided i gotta figure out am i gonna eat a pepperoni mushroom and there was one piece that had one mushroom you know so i found the one piece that had just a little bit of light mushroom on it and there was one bigger mushroom and so i grabbed that piece and i kind of just quickly picked that off and left it on the side of the you know and so

[28:02]i did have a one slice of pepperoni mushroom pizza that maybe had a little bit of mushroom but that's what i had to go thankfully man not a vegetable fun guy it's a whole different kingdom i mean if you want to be honest it's a very fun guy yeah it is it's a whole different kingdom that's the way that's all the way at the top it's a different kingdom well not anymore aaron i hate to tell you kingdom is not at the top anymore it's not there's one that has to do with wait so what is it because it used to be king philip came over

[28:30]from greece saturday what is it now now it's a domain it's above it sorry oh are you a eukaryote are you eukaryote or prokaryote so if anybody can learn anything if you're hosting a pizza party you got to have one plain cheese pizza you have to have a plain cheese pizza or just a pepperoni or yeah or you know especially if you're a leader if you're a leader of a business don't you have to be thinking about stuff like that of like oh what's one something i'm you just get or just a cheese pizza you know everybody's right just get a cheese pizza i i would russell i

[29:02]think i think if you have a straight pepperoni that would qualify i i think for a room of adults to order a cheese pizza is strange to me it would be strange if someone did that you think it's a coward's way out no maybe i don't think about it from like a uh um a non-meat eaters perspective so there are people that are gonna maybe want that but it would never like like if we were ordering like four pizzas at work it would never even dawn on me to say we need a straight like to me that's like a little

[29:32]kid thing i would never do it russell let me tell you something that happened to me when i moved to new york yeah i found out that here they called cheese pizzas plain pizzas and it blew my fucking mind because it took me a long time to figure out what a plain pizza was and i was like oh my god what a plain pizza was because i'd be like what's what's up i actually think i i wasn't i think that's a pizza purist's order like that's a legitimately good pizza so you just get the plain pizza if you're ordering a cheese pizza childish shit get it out of your birthday party shit a plain pizza

[30:02]gentlemanly scholarly oh bring it to my university where i'm getting my phd pretty hard dick yeah you know i'm talking about a pop thanks for that five russell so i think if we had to do it you could get four pizzas and i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea you're getting one pepperoni one sausage one you get if you're an adult you get a margarita pizza yeah there you go you get a margarita you get a margarita that's what you get because that's kind of fancy cheese it's cheese in between the cheese spots yeah you know maybe it's got some tomato

[30:34]chunks or something i don't know basil whatever whatever they got in there and then you go with one exotic whether you want to do some sort of classic or something i think it's like one one works you gotta have one yeah exactly something yeah some sort of the works whatever so there we go that's my rolling going uh russell how's it going guys i'll stick in the food world with you guys the other night uh i went to something called the synergy series at spoon and stable rob spoon and stables kind of over by washington in the north loop area

[31:02]kind of kind of over by downtown close to the river you're right matt north but um i was very excited we went they're doing this uh spoon stable is this thing where they bring in like four chefs throughout the year they do like two nights at the restaurant i think one of the days they'll do like a like a talk or something like that i didn't go to talk but the chef that we went to go see was gregory gorday and he's been on top chef a few times he's been a finalist multi-times

[31:31]um he's he's a super uh there's his personality comes across as fun positive he's a likable chef from the tv show that can't possibly be his real last name it sounds so much like gourmet you can't think of anything else a chef named gorday that's like a dentist named crentis it just doesn't exist so so we had recently tried to go get tickets to this and these are things that sell out really quickly so a while back the tickets for this went on sale on like a certain time like you know noon

[32:03]on a tuesday didn't you get fucked over by one of these one time russell like you went in and it was full or something we did we couldn't get in because of it but this one i tried to go online and buy the tickets i went on at 1207 one day and i didn't get in because of it but this one i tried sold out and so this was one the upstairs room and i were looking forward to doing because we've seen him on the show so often we're like this would be a perfect one to go to sold out but then we find out later they're doing a special bar seating where it's a more limited

[32:32]menu but you still get to be there for the whole thing it's his food and everything we're like perfect so we get it we get to sit at the bar love it russell's in on the special chef russell you deserve it they do a wine pairing they've got three specific cocktails to go with and i think i sent you guys a picture of one of them but i figured i would share the menu and so gorday he's based out of portland and he has haitian traditional haitian flavors inspired by cuisines of africa and the

[33:03]caribbean so yes and he is the his restaurant is named con it was best james beard best new restaurant in 2023 so this guy's legitimate here's the menu rob cue about it the music james brown you can't even do that oh my god okay okay sorry all right uh start let's start you off aaron with a plantain brioche roll love it love some plantains wow and it came with like

[33:31]some sort of spicy butter oh okay the next dish was the most beautiful dish i've ever seen it was fall fruit it was um it had all this beautiful fruit aaron there was figs figs some stuff in there yep but it also came with a squash juice and coconut dressing so covered in like this beautiful yellow dressing oh and then here's the one we needed to hit for you guys wait was it squash juice is that what you said yes like jus like jus or juice juice squash juice yes

[34:09]what apple juice but made it from squash but from squash what it says i gotta tell you somebody brings me a cup and says hey don't worry this is good squash juice there's no way i'm drinking that that feels like it's like it's it's like a it's a sauce rob

[34:31]it's just over the fruit it sounds like it sounds like a nickname for like an for an o-line you know like the oh the detroit lion's o-line squash juice there's this cryptid outside jacking off of my tent i know because there's a lot of people out there and they're like oh the detroit lion's o-line squash juice afterwards we got that picture of it that's gorgeous oh i think russell didn't hear what i just said he'd be all up in my ass about editing it next up is the third course seared rockfish there

[35:00]we go there we go and we got a little can we get a little crispy skin on there actually the skin was not very crispy i don't think it was supposed to be but there was skin on the fish i looked around everyone i saw ate the damn skin you do not peel the skin off and send it back that would have been embarrassing wow wow man where are we what is this world is any who are these then he comes in strong with the i would call this the main course it's a smoked beef short rib pepper sauce yes that was my uh nickname when i was a porn star smoked beef short

[35:38]rib that was or african pepper sauce yeah that i got some questions thought about that one longer okay in his early years he went by squash i'll just say when i showed up at the studio they were they were surprised yeah and and disappointed quite frankly yeah you had a fit when you're finishing movie either included the squash juice or the

[36:04]coconut dressing uh coconut dressing hey put the hey excuse me coconut put that furry dress you have back on so then the dessert was baked haiti coconut bavarian cream spice pineapple rum cremas so baked haiti instead of like baked alaska baked haiti that russell sounds like a delicious night with the roommates at the fancy restaurant

[36:30]we've talked before about meeting celebrity chefs chef kind of was making his way around and i knew the upstairs roommate was getting kind of antsy you could see her kind of wanting to at least have a moment to talk to her and she was like i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do so he's talking to a few people he's about to walk back i give him the high the quick two-finger salute high sign he walks over we talked to him for about a minute i made sure it is like try to not want to monopolize his time he was like the most humble nicest guy you could ever imagine it was an amazing experience and he

[37:04]was smiling the whole time i think he would have talked to us for a few more minutes but i went out of my way to like not monopolize this time because there are other people because you're a gracious man what i would have done is i would have been like i would have been like i would have been like i would have called him over and then i would have said hey do you fucking mind i'm on a date here and that's how you get back in there russell that's how you big time people and then i spilled i spilled my coconut juice all over robin to go uh can i pick up hey uh squash juice hey i just want to say one thing to you my compliments

[37:38]my compliments yeah to the chef awesome if he's ever heard that before so the one thing i was telling someone i was gonna do this the other day that was terrible i was gonna do this celebrity chef thing and one of my co-workers asked me do you ever journal about this like when you when you go to these restaurants do you ever like take notes you ever write stuff down i thought no but that was a great idea and so it made me wonder do you guys have like i know

[38:05]you have facebook or something that's constantly documenting everything you're doing rob but like do you guys ever journal or ever write down memories i was curious i do not but jenny and i went on such a journey yesterday explaining to our kids what it was like moving from minneapolis to war road to like duluth to the iron range that i was like oh this is a funny

[38:30]story and it's never going to be documented and so i was actually thinking and my my dad was doing this this summer he was on a roll telling some story and so i think this winter i'm going to go down and ask my parents to speak to me on a podcast of like all their fun memories and memories so you got a record just to have a smart yeah the only problem is a little hard to do that without being like doing this because you're like getting older you know i mean like it's hard to do and be like oh there's no reason don't worry about it i just want you to recall maybe key moments of

[39:02]the life or maybe me when i was younger i think we talked about this before i met years ago is one of the worst gifts i ever bought i bought my mom three they were like uh pre pre-structured family tree guides so like it's like an adult would in theory go through and put everyone in all the way up to their aunts and uncles and as far as they could go and i remember by it was the one gift that actually made my mom cry because she said this is this is not a good gift this is

[39:31]like something you give to them when you're getting old oh russell russell russell to me yeah giving a gift making your mom cry in a bad way yeah that's an all-time bad day right there that is bad that's tough that's not great that's super bad so i will say aaron something to consider um i started just taking because it's so easy on your iphone just random videos when we go on vacations of my kids and you know we've been to england we've been to ireland we've you know like the recap just new

[40:05]york you know kind of a thing but like i'll just take video and then at the end of the trip you know be like hey you know eddie where we at he's like we're at times square you know leo where we empire state building things like that it's a vlog and and you go back and putting it together real easy with an iMovie and like just like super easy and then just uploading it to youtube and now i've watched one of them the other day it was like four years ago or one last

[40:31]whenever we came and visit rob we had one in new york and leo had braces and was just talking really high voice it was really funny to listen so you know that's about the only thing i do but you know i've got a trip when manny and i came for rob's that was your 40th birthday you know rob i made a video of that uh you know a bunch of just weird things like that so you know if we ever did some sort of live show we'd probably do some live video and make a little just but it's only for like me like i don't i publish it and it's out there on youtube or whatever but nobody's

[41:01]searching for stuff like that but it is kind of a good way to more or less journal things that are going on to look back real quick i have one of the greatest pieces of advice of all time that i'm doing right now which is very similar to this because it leads to me sending a lot of pictures texting it to people i go into my google photos and i type in today's date and i go through and delete every bad photo or photo that's like a screenshot that's like taking up memory and so by 365 days i'm gonna have cleared out my photo like all the bad photos and we're gonna have good

[41:31]ones but when i'm doing that i see so many fun old photos i'm texting it to the kids i'm texting i think texting is like it's a major way to share and journal like old memories too it's it's really fun when you have kids and they're texting and making jokes over text oh it's just a blast yeah the rest of the rest of the time though i'm trying to play video games and they're like oh i'm hungry i need some food order me a sushi guess what well i'm hungry too why don't you love me rolling on rob how's it going with you having a day today that i would repeat forever and ever

[42:03]once again i'm having one of those days just a great day and it all started at jujitsu so i wanted to give you guys some of my jujitsu news of course the big one today the instructor at the end of the class goes hey we're going to give out some stripes uh and of course i famously got my first stripe i think two and a half years ago and then i have not gotten any since then okay uh and he goes but you know sometimes i try to be more technical than strong but sometimes you can just be strong i was like oh fuck he's talking about me for sure fair enough i get my second stripe

[42:34]on my belt yeah way to go man i now have that i'm very i was there's just you cannot not be happy about it it's just like it's it's so fantastic it and so there's no there's no test you had to pass it's really it's a no an objective or subjective kind of thing they have they have standards they have like moves you need to know and i know i don't know them there's no way i know the moves on that list this is way of like making sure you don't you keep paying and coming back well well here's here's part of the problem is that as soon as they did that they said

[43:03]hey second belt by the way after class there's an optional 10 minute abs if you want to do it and i was like i just earned i just earned a second belt i gotta stay and do the 10 minute abs and let me tell you it was an absolute fucking nightmare it was one of the worst things i've ever experienced in my whole life it's a long 10 minutes yeah the first one i couldn't do i was like i can't do the i'm fucked this is 10 minutes of me just anyway and finally let me just tell you other jiu-jitsu news it finally happened i had one of my students in my class with me oh no

[43:36]as a fellow jiu-jitsu practitioner they had one less stripe belt or like a formal oh now what you want a current one or a former uh one that is currently like in eighth grade or ninth oh you gotta stop going there yep so i was like oh this is great and of course so i didn't roll with them i didn't you know at the end i can kind of graduated him and asked him how it went and but then it's time to go to the locker room no you can't and i'm like nope i'm gonna sit out here and

[44:06]talk to his dad until he comes out because when i go in the locker room guys i'm the biggest guy the locker room is about the size of the room i'm in right now that you can see it's tiny and there's all these guys and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna sit out here and talk to his dad until he comes out guys in there and of course i'm the biggest by like a factor of two i strip all the way down to my tidy blueys every single time i give them that old guy as you know i'm just on my brief shit right now i have not worn boxers in months and so when i go old guy and briefs with them and i'll tell

[44:34]you what aaron i'm losing weight so much that i got a bad case of what i call making waffles going on down there and that's where my scrotum spills out the side like i'm making waffles at a hotel oh god it happens all the time my wife is like what is going on and i was like i call making i was like oh no they're coming out because they're coming out the side but now i can't feel them because i'm so small my underwear is getting too big what there's no and here's the worst part

[45:00]there's no solution i can't even think of a solution okay because i'm not going to order new small underwear so anyway what yeah that is that's what's going on my jujitsu news and now it's time to talk about that's an hour talk about my waffling deep did your student know you were going to be there was it no surprise no it was a surprise for both of us trust me i don't think he was happy that can't be fun for him either i well i can tell you he wasn't back the next week so we'll see how that goes i will keep you updated we are but there

[45:31]was almost for sure a conversation with him and his dad about i can't go back there because my teacher is there what if he brought you waffles to school what if he was like mr here's yeah brought you something it's waffles and just like the waffles i saw they had chocolate i have chocolate sprinkles on them oh but they're way longer than they should be like just imagine right now i'm not gonna get into it i cannot aaron do not get me on the shaving my balls a bit i'm not doing it around i gotta talk about this album we gotta go to bed

[46:01]yeah we are talking about singles going steady by the buzzcocks now we all know the buzzcocks pete shelly born 1955 steve diggle okay 1955 steve garvey 1958 and john mayer wait a minute john mayer what the fuck talk about time machine 1960 all these guys from manchester this is their third album russell but it's a collection of the singles and b-sides from the first two this was an album that was solely made to be sent to the u.s as an introduction to the buzzcocks oh

[46:32]that's all it was they sent it to the u.s and it did not chart it did not get on the billboard charts it did not and but people now recognize this as one of the greatest punk albums of all time pete shelly and howard devito drive across england and see the sex pistols yeah at that concert they decide to make the buzzcocks now devito left like a year later but shelly is now the front man but here's the crazy thing shelly can fucking sing he wants to do a punk band that can sing and here's

[47:04]the even crazier thing this is like early 70s shelly is openly bisexual so now you have a punk leader who is openly bisexual it's just like it's it's like the truest form of punk you know it's so great and so here uh i mean really the buzzcocks when i listened to this i was really surprised i thought it was going to be a punk album like the ramones like you know the sex pistols but it really is much more musical like this is a pop

[47:33]punk aaron i mean is this what leads to like blink 182 yeah probably i mean it's i don't know i was trying to think because it's if this came out in 79 uh is the clash by the clash in 77 maybe and then elvis costello's around the same time so it's definitely of this wave of music where there was so much clash that's what i heard listening to this so so so much the buzzcocks say they're big influences on one hand you got the sex pistols the ramone and on the other hand they

[48:01]were big fans of velvet underground yeah you can kind of hear hear that because then yeah i mean bands like the replacements end up taking from this too but it i mean at some point punk took a turn i've you know i'm not a punk aficionado at all but at some point there's a lot of people who were like oh yeah this is a different like family tree that includes you know black flag and people like that where it's hardcore music i guess and much more lo-fi and less less melodic but this is kind of on the other side of that i mean i i to me there's no surprise they put this close to

[48:31]american idiot you know what i mean it just sounds right it's it's just so leads to it yeah this the buzzcocks was kirk cobain's favorite band and he asked them to open for him on his last on his last tour and they opened for him in paris you could go see buzzcocks and irana in one concert uh let's get into the album what'd you guys think about uh orgasm addict this song is so fucking good

[49:03]it's about being addicted to orgasms now famously of course a football player gave me advice to take my wife to the gym to a sex shop on a second date and it turned out that that football player later suffered from a crippling sex addiction and became a therapist no that's why i was taking advice from aaron it's a wild topic for a song for sure yeah how would you aaron i wrote this down to ask you how would you improve the male orgasm do you

[49:34]think how would i improve you wrote this down to ask me me specifically how would i to prove it in one way hey you know what orgasms great but let's spruce them up a little bit what are we doing uh make them longer yes that's what i was thinking too aaron yeah they're so fleeting 10 15 minutes yes yeah let's go back and kick it why not minutes yeah how long are how long is a block of commercials like three minutes six minutes right yeah i mean

[50:02]three to six perfect let's go that perfect oh my god that'd be so good russell how would you improve the male orgasm now man has gotten up and left and i don't think that's uh it's not a bad sign at all i think russell's maybe on the tired side russell how would you improve the male orgasm how would i improve it yep i don't know if i got an answer for that one seems seems to be a functional russell talk dirty to me baby yeah this is what i like it works i wish it didn't make my legs

[50:33]cramp up all the time does that count i guess if we like if you could choose when to make it messy and when not to like if you could choose to have a clean one i was thinking that i didn't say it i was thinking it and i didn't say it i think all of our listeners were to you sick pigs you were doing what aaron was doing okay you're no better than us you listen to this slap and you'll like it man thank god you're back man how would you improve the male orgasm extend it a little bit oh that's like the answer for me oh my god my wife was saying

[51:09]the other day she goes you know i could get a breast lift and i said yeah great let's do it i said get it let's get them bigger too i said i'm totally for it let's go and she goes oh so if i wanted to you would get surgeries to look better i go yeah of course i would is there a big cock surgery let's go you know i would do it right now let's all look as good as we can who cares

[51:31]and then she went out get her got her weights and measures or hooks or whatever yeah she's like here's my string weight and velcro and i was like i love that band it's a waffle iron oh i came to this holiday and express or a nice night and a great continental breakfast and instead the waffle mix is all over the place and it smells weird smells like mulch oh what do i get

[52:03]what do i get this is their most popular song on this album by the way every song i just picked beginning who cares this was the one song i recognized but maybe it's been on a video game or something did any of you have fun listening to this album let's just say it let's get out here not really it's a lot of this over and over but it's like oh this one's kind of like

[52:30]the ramones there's some that are kind of like the clash like there's like it feels like every one of the songs is like all right i'd like to hear another band do the same song russell this is one that like you and i talked about where it's like reading about the band before you listen to them and for me it did because i was like oh this is like the beginning of that offshoot of melodic punk along with the clash i don't mind now russell this got all the way up it's 55 on the uk charts 55 yep

[53:01]what doesn't the song's called i don't mind is there anything that doesn't bother you guys that seems to bother other people i feel like the older i get the more things bother me like the old man i don't mind shaking his fist at the cloud thing you know like i feel like i'm getting towards that i need to figure out how to get away from that it's tough stuff sucks man that's the problem right and you have something that's nice and then it sucks after a while and you're like it's like have you guys

[53:31]gone to a movie lately going to a movie sucks like it sucks it's super expensive the food is super expensive and then everybody in there has just been like oh i don't fucking live in society anymore i'm gonna do whatever i want in a movie i'm gonna be in a movie i'm gonna be in a movie on my phone i'm gonna talk it's the fucking worst and you just get done you go this is no better but what doesn't bother me i guess you might ask hair in my food oh never i can pull a hair out of a food and eat the rest of it don't even think twice about it hair and the food not a big deal

[54:02]to me oh i'm not looking at you know what i'll say about the movies going back and rewind over yeah they've got to get they got to get rid of the 30 minutes of previews that we can't live in a the world is the world is too fast moving like baseball's got a you know pace of play thing to move the game along you cannot add 30 minutes of previews to a movie and now they even advertise like on the website there are 25 to 30 minutes of preview how do you how do you turn like a two hour

[54:32]two and a half hour movie into like a three and a half hour thing because of right 40 minutes of nonsense like three trailers is like the perfect amount right just like three to get you psyched up if it was just previews i would love it i love previews i love i don't i don't need nicole kidman right walking through like a dark movie theater talking about how amc is making story like get the fuck out of the fuck that i don't want your corporate you are advertising the movie theater chain to me

[55:01]yeah like anybody goes and goes oh yeah i really love this movie theater chain fuck off it's the one that's nicest and closest to our house we have no brand loyalty when it comes to movies we actually hate it here hey i don't give a shit that all your the way your uniforms have changed over the last hundred years i don't need to see every delta flight attendant uniform since 1940 on go fuck yourself give me give me my movie jaws just let me watch the damn movie you want to tell me some safety shit that's fine keep me safe i don't give

[55:32]a shit about the history of your company oh ails the worst the russ what doesn't bother you what doesn't that bothers other people well what are we talking about i thought i would you know i don't mind cleaning bathrooms i had to do it when i had the pizza place let's like to do it like every day so now i could you know that doesn't bother me at all the same thing happened to me at starbucks i cleaned bathrooms and at this at a certain point no matter how bad it was it didn't affect me at all so i'm the one who cleans all the bathrooms

[56:00]at home jenny doesn't has never cleaned a bathroom since we've been married even though she loosens up that toilet seat like crazy i mean i gotta read i gotta tell you that toilet seat all the time sir makes a lot is listening to that from the grave is he dead is he alive and he's saying he's saying oh a line about tightening the toilet seat would have been the perfect cherry on that little sunday listen if you see me in the video standing on the giant butt you know i've gone back in time

[56:34]to give sir makes a lot of advice it does not have him it has him as years active 81 to present it does not have him as died so he's born he's uh 62 years old they're still time let's hit the remix sir mix a lot i've got some ideas of what to put on the glass as well love you more this is a minute and 29 second song it's one of the shortest singles to ever chart the uk

[57:00]hitting 34 but guys like so many other things in life they got me thinking what were the shortest songs to ever chart and that's where we're doing a very fast short list list it's it's time now i feel like we've done this list before i don't think so the shortest songs to chart it got too weird when i was looking up shortest songs there's all these bands that put out like one second songs so i narrowed it down

[57:31]the shortest songs to get number one on the billboard charts okay okay this one's number five is clocking in at a minute and 58. good time for song this is the letter by the box tops it was at number one for four weeks in 1967 oh i like this song well what you're listening to is a little bit longer than the next number one hit of all time

[58:03]in 1957 this song propelled the sales of teddy bears to high the sky high levels it's elvis bear oh 1957 a minute 46 yes oh man number two on this list blocking in it like i don't know i didn't write it down 141 is a song

[58:37]that has kept coming up on this list a million fucking times and i never would have guessed it in a million years is the second shortest number one single of all time russell sitting back down this is the third shortest single ever

[59:01]a song that has come up a million times on this podcast for no reason i don't think it's ever come up on this podcast it's only come up because i believe you have people that are familiar to you that this is their go-to song and i don't think it's ever come up on this podcast it's only come it's a go-to song karaoke song 1960 hey let's listen to the number one hit in 1960 it's a minute and 36 seconds long now we're talking morris williams and the zone i mean guys to me making love to this song i actually take way longer it's a problem maurice williams the zodiac stay

[59:36]it's number one in 1960 it's big again in 1987 because of what jackson brown dirty dancing oh yeah propels it back up the charts a movie that dictated my musical taste as a unit for sure yes now that song was a minute and 36

[60:00]seconds long the number one shortest song of all time is actually two minutes and 12 seconds long but the reason it's so short in fact it's so short it didn't even get to number one it only got to number three so not only did it fall short of work out of the charts this is the shortest number one single of all time that didn't get to number one it fell quite short and it is actually longer than the other short songs but i got in my head that it'd be funny to

[60:35]list about short songs then play you a short song is this the funny part i feel like if i let it be fun it's gonna get funny i really do it did my heart of hearts actually i mean our live audience here think this is super funny rob right yeah they're loving it well let's check back in they love this yeah they love it can you imagine being a thank you can you imagine being a bartender

[61:04]and i break out my making waffles bit and you're like what the fuck is this show oh big scary so nice to see you thank you and enjoy your pepperoni and mushroom pizza guys hey guy from the calf thanks for coming yeah hey don't that guy up front with a popcorn don't listen to him oh okay that's not us that's a different that was another aaron got porta potties outside they remind him of his russell that was easily a top five list oh yeah

[61:35]next up it's a short list as well as shorter list shortest list we've heard damn russell that was the best way to end that list ever fallen in love today i asked my wife what percent of men could you marry why would you do that because i asked myself that question for women and i thought it was five percent guess what she said five percent we're on the same page

[62:03]you thought you could only marry five percent oh yeah are you saying like hold on hold on hold on hold on they're real picky about some stuff i'm saying but my question is rob are you saying like five percent of women ages like 18 to 100 no no are you saying like five percent of women your age and are you saying you want to be married to five percent of them at the same time

[62:34]you want to marry five percent of women listen i don't even know what that means what are you talking about i don't know i think you're saying rob let me see if i can get this okay out of all of the let's just say eligible people to marry right yeah you you would instantly not instantly but you would it would be pared down pretty quickly just five percent of those people yeah then if you were forced to marry you could marry any one of those people but even inside of

[63:00]that you try to find somebody better right yeah oh if i was put into a disgusted forced marriage and i had to have sex with somebody i didn't know oh yuck no but i think i could but i think it's i think it's five percent like i would say of my wife's friends like one out of 20 i'm like i could see that oh geez well which one would it be i mean i already said i knew you're gonna ask oh man i mean do we cover your wife could you marry man what do you think higher or lower than five i was

[63:32]gonna say something like five percent it might be lower you know it might be lower but just if you take in the general but like yeah it's probably five percent of the people you know wow aaron what do you think i'm not entertaining this question this is so bullshit your wife will listen to this part hey aaron's wife push that fast forward button 30 seconds i've never thought of that i like aaron i'm just gonna ask this higher lower than five percent you don't have to answer a percent just higher lower lower lower yeah oh that's such a answer okay okay what percent would you say though one out of a hundred what do you think

[64:04]well technically it's euro right now right no one has captured his heart of a unicorn yeah but you could you could marry like if you had to i think it's like five percent i really do uh promises well but you know what i bet i could i bet i think i could marry one out of every i'll say 300 guys i bet i could be married to

[64:30]one every 300 guys easy it's like a third of a percent two of us are there for the fantasy draft you know what i mean like we're all hanging out together promises don't you think man i know i could be married to a guy i don't think i could i don't why not i don't know i probably know too much about guys i don't know that's true i like you come home and your husband just rips a huge shit oh well you don't mind cleaning the

[65:02]bathroom yeah yeah exactly that's why i'm there although rob also claims he won't replace the toilet paper so that's a problem the other thing is well see but that's the other thing if it was two guys our toilet paper budget our toilet paper budget would be nothing if it was two guys we'd be fine you get a bidet australian i like that aaron i would marry australian guy it'd be hard to be married to a guy because then you like you really have to draw the line between like this these are my friend guys this is my husband guy it would be too weird like this my

[65:30]is my husband my friend guy like i don't know yeah my wife is my best friend i know that was when we learned that that's a different kingdom the friend guy yeah i'd just be we'd just be like sitting there watching deadwood over and over i'd be so pissed you know what i'm already pissed i envision my husband like taking my shoes and wearing them oh i was just getting the mail don't fucking put on my shoes well technically don't you just wear crocs oh yeah that doesn't make it better russell because i know he would not wear them with socks either he doesn't need

[66:03]to wear socks with him either it's fine god damn it roly socks put your socks in a box oh that would piss me off shoes with laces that were we talked about this before yes i have shoes with laces russell fuck you yeah he wears them to lift rob are you still buying all your shoes off ebay used today jenny goes you have two of the well yes actually today and he goes do you have two of the same shoes they just have different colored soles i go yeah one's pink

[66:30]and one's yellow i wear them with different outfits what the fuck is your problem how do you not understand this just said the word excessive which is not a word she said it was often and you said the word outfit yeah that's how i dress okay i'm serving looks all the time everybody's happy nowadays this sounds so much like the strokes it's crazy it does you're right i just wrote a question here are you happy nowadays there was about half right halfway through this where i thought it was getting a little repetitive and then occasionally it would

[67:01]kind of not feel as repetitive and feel a little musical there'd be a little bass riff or a drum feel that kind of spiced it up so you're welcome yeah i agree i don't know where it belongs to this list but it was enjoyable yeah you can see if you were trying to start a band you'd study these guys first this is the this is the last single and then it's gonna be all b-side so we'll speed up a little bit but this is the guitarist diggle he smoked 20 cigarettes to get this voice and you know what question i gotta ask okay have you did you what is your night where you just smoked too many cigarettes

[67:34]where you're like that was too many cigarettes that we smoked but not a smoke that we smoked we need to start calling pete from uh we gotta start calling him diggles pete's the one who'll get me because rob rob rob doesn't care you can you know if you go out with rob and you're not smoking it's fine but pete always is gonna hand you one if he's having one so pete he gets me pete's yeah i remember we had a night in russia where we brought i told you we

[68:00]brought the carton of marlboros because they said in russia you can trade them for stuff because they're like american cigarettes but we got there they had him in the fucking airport yeah we're like fuck we're 21 year old guys in russia for a month studying the orthodox church of course what are we gonna do with these carton of marlboro cigarettes i wonder what we're gonna do we smoked i the first night i smoked like two packs i've never been so ill in my life the next day i felt terrible awful russell you ever smoked too much i don't think i'm probably

[68:31]under three cigarettes in my life russell's not a cigarette man oh i'm the same that's i don't know you what about cigars russell you got to do cigars sometimes don't you just for your job cigars yeah i smoke cigars occasionally but but that's probably maybe like two a year smoke too many cigars because they take forever i can't smoke cigars i can't be like with a i was always embarrassed when i was with a group of guys with cigars i just was like i just tasted bad i don't know am i missing out russell should i be no i should not i think it's a good idea i think it's a good idea i think it's a

[69:01]social thing for some people and i guess i guess it could be fun if you're sitting around doing it but it's not really my thing whatever happened to my sister just went to her high school reunion that she had a great time it was very uplifting like it was like i don't think i've ever been to a high school every i've gone to most of them if not all of them and every time i don't want to go and every time i leave having a great time that's what she said yeah that's exactly it yep

[69:31]i went to my tenure no not as a professor not even in school so i don't actually have tenure uh but i went to my tenure and it was too competitive everybody was like bragging and stuff and you know i was like a and as like a teacher i was like what am i gonna brag about i'm a teacher who cares and then i went to my 20 year and i was teaching in my school and that was super fun i had a blast that time like meeting everybody and talking to everybody it was great rob what percentage of the women at your 20 year reunion could you have married

[70:01]at that night a hundred percent see i knew i knew immediately what rob said five percent earlier that's bullshit rob would go way higher can i just say this russell you you will not you you might not be surprised that i over indulged a bit at my reunion okay it was uh rough oh shit i think the numbers are very skewed between you'd have a one night stand

[70:31]or you date somebody for a couple months versus you would actually marry them good point man you know what i mean good point i think that number though is inverse with guys you know what i mean because i'm not attracted to guys my number of one night stands would be zero but the number of guys i could marry is actually higher so something to think about it's like okay you know what it's like a parabola y equals x squared you might have all sorts of video games set up you're in for that guy you mentioned rob he's already got the playstation five tell you what russell one

[71:01]word two tvs i would have two tvs up in my living room we both can play video games yeah two tvs beanbag chair maybe rob oh waterbed hey if waterbed in the guest room if i married a guy he had a waterbed i'd be like sorry this is not gonna work out i can't actually you know i that makes me sleep with my head lower could you guys imagine you like wobbling back and forth in there oh just

[71:31]I was just two just two rhinos under the it would be like the blob i'd hop in and that guy they'd get thrown off autonomy all right good one when you started living on your own did you ever make a huge fucking mistake like when i uh lived at the football house during the summer at st olaf where i paid rent to the football players

[72:00]so every single day i would go to the football house and i would go to the football house every week i came back and there was just a keg in a garbage can in the living room from the weekend and i was like oh this is my house now i slept on a mattress on the floor when we moved in the kitchen the uh fridge had been unplugged but all the liquid had drained to the bottom and so it smelled so bad it was something my dad called the beast forever it was an incredibly bad time in my life what about you guys you fuck something up when you lived by yourself for the first time i remember painting my living room

[72:31]a very very bright creamsicle orange and i thought i was going for like a like a nice muted kind of soft color and it was i mean it was bright and so that that was really fucked up i had to change that pretty quick have you ever wanted to have sex in an orange julius have i got an opportunity for you all right you guys are all good at living by your own way to go i mean it's like i had a

[73:00]messy room like what i mean i don't have anything good i mean it wasn't i mean aaron like wrecked his car on day one so that was not a home thing but how about be aaron where i took my whole paycheck for my first job and i bought that tv yes i then had to move around 61 inch cabinet tv yeah it was like picture in your head the day that nobody's buying cabinet tvs anymore that's when i shell out an entire paycheck to buy a tv a couple days later my roommate comes like okay you gotta pay rent and i'm like hmm

[73:30]already i just bought this tv nose noise and noise i got bad news speaking of noise and noise jenny has been claiming that i'm now a loud juror oh no bad very bad you know what it probably means you've been like that for 25 years i know i would have seen it too i cannot imagine being married to a loud juror i'm so mad at myself do you recognize it now

[74:00]that she told you you know you're doing it that's the problem russell's i'm always wearing these noise canceling headphones around the house all the time so i can't actually tell so this means you're an open mouth chewer like you've got your mouth open i don't know i of course i don't think i do but i must now aaron i'm not going to ask you if your spouse makes a noise that annoys you but if somebody were to ask somebody like you i was thinking it's funny like i find it amusing like wallace has some friends who are loud chewers it's like it's one of those things it's like funny when kids do it like especially like kids really enjoying their food you're like oh that's

[74:33]adorable that's sweet it's cute and like it's an adult thing you're like that's not don't do that don't be that person bad so bad so what does your wife do would you say what she's very quiet she makes almost no noise doesn't make any annoying noises at all no matt do you want to comment on this conversation i'm trying to think i can't think the noise of a being left on the counter

[75:00]matt you wink so well that's crazy lipstick you saw this you wrote this song after seeing lipstick smeared on a mirror at a party oh that's a party why i why can't i touch it now oddly hold on hold on hold on what what's jenny's lipstick story i'm trying to move it along man why would you look at my notes jenny has a lipstick that she loves now this may shock you this may even surprise you

[75:37]this may even rock your world to its very foundation jenny only uses this one shade of lipstick and she will not use anything else now what what is your thoughts on this color rob oh patterns i mean honestly who gives a fuck who gives a shit like i could you imagine me caring about what lipstick my wife wears i who gives i couldn't imagine i can't i don't even know what

[76:04]lipstick is for doesn't make sense to me nobody likes it like she kisses me on the cheek i get lipstick on there when i was younger i was like oh that's fun not anymore pisses me off hate it i do i'm like don't we're good she gives this shade of lipstick to my friend suzanne a year later they discontinue the color so of course she immediately goes and buys like two dozen

[76:32]but has been slowly running out of the one lipstick as she likes so suzanne said to her oh well why don't you could take mine that you gave me and she goes okay and took it and it blew suzanne's mind suzanne's like she took the lipstick i go yeah i could have told you yeah i was like you should not offer things to jenny that you don't know i want her to do she's not fucking around so that's a lipstick story man thanks for asking yeah great story ask me about the story for this song why can't i touch it oh

[77:03]touch it did you guys ever break your jacking arm what did you ever break oh karen you heard me i think you want me to say it again excuse me you want me to say it again fine i will did you ever break your jacking arm oh great now i've woken up my kids now they're in pop right aaron i can't see did you

[77:30]no i was thinking today i was like i'm 45 years old do you think i could teach myself to throw left-handed in the next no 40 years of my life if i just exclusively right now could i do it no no karen you do not realize how hard to throw is until you throw it left-handed i know it is hard it's crazy but could i learn to do it this has been in some movies hasn't it this song feels very familiar yeah it's a fun one but it's a six minute song so not only they have a minute 24

[78:07]song they have a six minute song oh ted lasso oh who's in ted ted lasso there you go the buzzcocks something gone wrong again this sounds a lot like judas priest to me like a break in the law type thing oh yeah and that's the end of the album folks okay i just got a couple more questions when i ask these guys our story that hey actually if you guys notice when i ask you a question sometimes it just leads to a story i

[78:34]have i'm not sure if you guys have ever noticed that part episode 250 he reveals the secret you know what i heard though aaron if you really and i don't know where i heard this maybe i read it somewhere but there's this great plan that people do if they really want to learn something really quick but like it takes a lot of time yeah you got to go to bed at a decent hour then you gotta get up at like four o'clock and you're like oh my god i'm so tired i'm so tired four in the morning yeah okay i would get up at three and then go from like four to like six four

[79:02]to like seven four to work and then you know i don't know where i heard this from okay that really helps okay i'm gonna put it behind you man that's so strange it looks like rivets and i didn't notice that you have the towel of me hanging up behind you of the right so huh wink anyway this is uh buzzcocks something singles what was it called singles singles going steady great name for an album is it called rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown we don't have time we simply

[79:32]we're like a bad green grocer we don't have the time aaron rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown the buzzcocks you know i enjoyed listening through these tracks with you guys because as we hear them and we toss out bands and influences that we hear from it it's fun to think about who took something from this music and made something out of it so i think that's very cool i think it's cool that it's on the list i don't i don't know if i mean it's not really an album right so i'm gonna give it a rolling uh groan but i enjoy it all right all right russell what do you think rolling well-toned rolling boned or

[80:02]rolling grown i didn't enjoy it more than i thought i would i thought a little little one note at times still feels like the same thing over and over to me but that's kind of like typical with some of the punk i i i mean this is like a it's a rolling stone it's a it's a i don't i know this is not a new york band but any any sort of punk thing i feel like rolling stone's always going to put way higher in the list than it has any business being so i enjoyed it i could see myself listening to it again but it's rolling grown it's it's way too high

[80:31]all right uh here's the question yeah if the first 250 albums in the world didn't exist is this number one no no god no not even no chance no you're totally right uh man what do you know but yeah man what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone really grown uh you know i again i i guess i kind of liked it and i thought i got better as it went so like the last three or four songs i there you go ones on the a side or you know or side one if you want to call it that um so you

[81:03]know it was okay and i'll listen to some of these songs again uh particularly that ted lasso song now that i remembered it you know because it was pretty good song actually um so i think it's rolling grown shouldn't be even close to being this high on the list uh so we'll just leave it at that everybody else made great points rolling grown uh unfortunately you guys are incorrect 250th time and congratulations to us i'm making it halfway through i think we thought we were going

[81:33]to do this in the beginning and then at about episode 17 we're like i don't know if we're going to be able to do this then it kind of went up and down and kind of the neil young episode i remember being a low point the bob dylan episode is a bit of a low point what do you think is the highest point of this podcast what's our what's our cake farts what cake farts wow god we should just end the podcast right now sorry to our very special guest next week but you do not exist because we're done

[82:01]russell has told the perfect joke to end it and if i were a good host i would end it right here too but this gets a rolling show in manchester englund remember that remember that show i told you about i've talked about it before guess who else was at that show the guys from joy division guess who else was at that show morrissey that show that spawned the buzzcocks spawned punk across england i don't have a way to tie that together so i'm going to try next up we have elton john

[82:31]talking about what his french house is like on the freeway at rush hour honky chateau hey i'm trying to drive by chateau during rush hour i'm with my buddy aaron hey aaron you know what i don't get what don't you get finally why am i driving on this hey rob let's see an idea for you yeah next week you should do a like a funny bit about honky cats

[83:08]but they're like cats that are honking a horn oh that's a great idea russell like like a cat you know what i'm saying like a feral cat but they're like in a car honking a horn you want to know what i'm doing because by the way russell just fucked me for everybody at home i was queuing up proud laughter for your final jokes russell i was being nice and supportive

[83:33]guess what you're not one of the 300 i would marry anymore okay sorry to tell you that when you want it thanks for coming everybody thanks for coming to the live show we'll see you for our next live show down the road 100 episodes from now right we're gonna be we're gonna be at some we're gonna be at some uh festival in lakeville that everyone with the text shade talks about but no one knows what

[84:03]all your big cars there for sure pronto pronto proper pronto prog or something panoprog panoprog now for the closing act of our live show lightning crashes a new mother her plus no i'm not doing dolphins lament i know that's what you want to hear they're gonna love my cats

[84:34]that would be a great bit it would be what's a good idea you should put that in your queue rob hey you know how i would improve movies i i'm putting waffle batter at the bottom of my popcorn buckets can you imagine if a live show ended like that and then what we just walk off we just look at the crowd you would be able to end the live show rob it would you would be incapable of doing it

[85:03]i don't think that's true it would the end the end would be so bad because you would never you would never let it end there's no way that's true you think that i would look at individual people and try to impress each one by going dirtier dirtier and longer and longer but then really only focus on the one person who didn't want to be there at all and wonder why they didn't like the show and the whole time i obsess about it until unfortunately i say it out loud and it makes it awkward because they were just there to have a drink and didn't know that a live show would be

[85:31]going on because there was no advertising budget put into the show whatsoever and then you think i wouldn't be able to end something that's crazy Thanks for watching!