Paul Simon: Graceland (1986)

[00:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts, but we promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. This is album 46, Graceland by Paul Simon. You know, guys, I've been doing some thinking. I've been doing some inward thinking, thinking about Rob, not just always giving, giving, giving like I normally do. And I was thinking about what makes this podcast so wonderful. And I realized, you know, it's not just my jokes or my editing or my planning or my posting or my videos I make for Instagram that gets four views. There's also a special ingredient. And I think now you're going to hear about that special ingredient. And it's also going to be the hit song of the summer. So let me crank on this for a little bit. Song of the summer. Crank it up. Okay. And then I'm going to stop cranking. I'm going to. Reach over in the other direction and get my radio.

[01:01]It's a visual joke. I realized that I wrote it. All right. Let's play. Well, our intro song. God damn it, Rob. You wrote all this stuff down. And then he. I like it. I like it. You know, a great fan once said, what's a war without any generals? What's channel nine without Arsenio? This song is going on for the guy we call Mr. Elmer's because he's the glow. Yeah, that's true. I'm on a zoom in New York City. And I think I've got this really funny joke. Yeah. Then I said on the podcast, Matt and Russell look at me and they say, no, no. That's why I'm counting on Aaron. He laughs at my jokes like they're the finest works of art.

[02:02]Yeah. Even when it's just a fart. He thinks it's so good. I didn't see that one coming. And then when Aaron laughs at me, it makes me happy. Yeah. Sounds so much better when they end in Aaron's laughter. Aaron. My jokes can never bomb when Aaron is around. He's the only one that gets me. Fair enough to show my jokes would only be so. So I'm counting on Aaron. When you want to hear about the greatest. But you're just too lazy to look it up. Oh, you thought it was not interrupted.

[03:01]It's so weird. I was like, why do I hear myself laughing in my life? That's how long this happens. Did it better. That should do it. That should do it. All right, everybody. Welcome to Beck did it better. You know, I got all those laughs just from our Illmatic episode. There was not a repeat in that whole. There was not a repeat in that whole song. And you heard he had one laugh at the end. That was almost. The length of our entire theme song. It was absolutely unbelievable. So, Aaron, that was a thank you gift to you for being so sweet and being such a great person to have on the podcast. And speaking about laughing at length, Russell in Minnesota, how are you doing? Rob, your wife's a doctor. Do you know why I'm soft in the middle when the rest of me is so hard? And I've got I also made a clip of all Matt's laughing. Let's play that right now. All right, great. Here's Matt in Minnesota. Matt, how are you doing?

[04:02]Great, Rob. Thanks for having me as always. Aaron out in Oak Town with the laugh. How are you doing, Aaron? Well, I appreciate the shout outs for my laugh. But the other thing I love about you guys on this pod. And you guys would know exactly what I'm talking about. You know, you know, just what I'm talking about. Childish Gambino. And from the streets, mean streets of NYC. It's me. It's Rob. Listen, we're going to start with something new today. We're going to hop right in to the spanking of. Someone was a bad little boy. It's time for Big Papa Rob to give you. I wore a special undergarments in my spanking. It's time for the official. Did it better. Spanking of the week. I like that fog wearing the best. So the other day for the Omatic episode, I got up to, I don't know what, turn off the AC or be a parent or something like that. And meanwhile, you guys didn't realize it, but I had pushed record. Let's listen to what.

[05:00]I want to, you guys, I went on a laugh boycott last week because Rob told me to shut up. So I went five minutes without laughing. So good work. I'm going to have to bring that. That's what he wants. Good work. Hey, you, whatever your slam was. I forgot it until now. He said, shut up, Rob. Let me. I got it. I got to fight back. I heard it. I listened to the episode. I heard it. It was good. I can't. So that's why this week's spanking of the week is me. I'm getting. He gives what he takes. How do I stop this spanking? It's still good. It sounds like one of those congas slaps, right? Rob? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, it's a, this is an open hand, open palm slap for sure. An open tone. So here's the deal, Aaron. I have to say, I am sorry to you. And for that, we're going to play the nice to Aaron theme, which is just the making fun

[06:03]of Aaron theme, but it's back there. We're coming on. I didn't have time to actually make a new team. We're nice to Aaron. Matt is laughing hysterically at this. So this is not going to say anything for interrupting me, but this is now, this is now a be nice Aaron podcast. We all love Aaron. Okay. And please tell Aaron's wife at gmail.com there. I did it. Okay. Please don't bother me about it. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. All right. I can tell you, did you guys have trouble? Did you guys have trouble naming your kids? Naming your kids for me as a teacher was almost, almost impossible because my wife would be like, how about, um, you know, how about, uh, Hannah? And I was like, Oh no, I had a Hannah in class. I didn't have a Hannah in class that I hated, but I had a Hannah in class. I couldn't stand.

[07:00]You know what I mean? Like I couldn't name my kid after some kid who swore at me. What'd she do to you, Rob? What'd she do to you? Why couldn't you stand her? Huh? Oh, she, she was always like, Oh, I'm going to tell the principal that you showed up late. No, your shirt is all the way unbuttoned. And I'm like, don't tell me what to do. I'm the teacher. I'm in charge. Okay. If I want to practice my drum kit right now, instead of teaching you guys, that's what I'm going to do. Okay. I didn't have too much of a tough time. Yeah. Aaron, what, what, what names got crossed off your list right away? I, uh, I, I wanted to go classic and then we ended up going classic, classic with Leo, but I wanted to go with like a Tommy or a Johnny or something like that. Uh, you know, and they say that together and you think of St. Thomas and St. John's and I don't know. Nobody else does. Yeah. You know, the one that got crossed off, not that quickly was Riggins. I really wanted to name my kid after Friday night lights or it was like, it was in the running for a middle name too, but it just felt like you're tempting fate if you name

[08:00]your kid Riggins. So that one, that one eventually got crossed off. Well, naming your kids is always tough, isn't it? I mean, like I, we named our second one, Annabelle, and then I went on a website where people reviewed their names and they were like, yeah, everybody says, like, Kyle, cause my name is bell. And I'm like, Oh, why would you do that? And then the nurse was like, how do you want to spell it? And I was like, what is this? A spelling test? Like, I don't know. How do you spell Annabelle? Like, so I made it really long with lots of vowels, a nightmare. I had a friend and she, she had her second child and it was a son. And she texts me all the info about the name and everything. And I asked what the name was. I was like, Oh, that's a great name. So many people name their kids after athletes or someone famous. And then they end up regretting it because they do something bad. And then right after, I kind of went on this whole rant. She said, yeah, we named his, his middle name is Brady after Tom Brady. And I was like, well, now I feel like an asshole. I would have doubled down. I'd be like, that's fucking stupid. You're stupid for doing it. Do you know how many people in Boston have already done that?

[09:01]It's not a grandpa or an uncle or something that you could take over Tom Brady. I don't know. I mean, and plus it's like, Oh, you could just name him Brady and never tell him. Don't tell anyone you really named it after Tom Brady. Like it's a common enough name. It's not like you're naming him Jameis or something like what any of your guys' wives would that have been a deal killer. Why? I like the name Jameis. Would one of your, would that have been a deal killer for any of your wives? If you guys would have said, Hey, I need this middle name for my oldest son or someone to be after some sort of famous athlete. Is that a, they walk away? Yeah. My, you know, we've got our, my youngest one's Eddie and depending on who I'm talking to, I either is. And we wanted, we wanted, we wanted Eddie, but I didn't want Edward. So we were trying to come up with some other name. So he's an Edwin. And so depending on who I'm talking to, I say we named him after Edwin Encarnacion or if it's somebody who doesn't know baseball, I just say we named after Eddie Vedder. And you know, that gets Sarah to roll her eyes every time. Yeah, definitely would have. So I, I have,

[10:00]have you ever tried doing Eddie Munster? That's what I would think. Am I old? Am I like 80 years old that I bring up the Munsters? Yeah. Eddie money, the Bay area zone. Eddie, do you ever call him Eddie money? Oh, Eddie money. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Eddie money. We, yeah, we got him right. He was a really sweaty baby. So sweaty. Eddie is. Oh, great. Sweaty Eddie. Nicknames are so man. I tried to do that move once in college and is actually worked out really well. Believe it or not. Still married. You tried to, you tried to run the sweaty Eddie. Yeah. Eddie wasn't happy about it, but I was thrilled. I thought it was really fun. You know, the kid that came out before and not when I say came out, I mean of the delivery room, Aaron. Okay. Stop making those hand gestures. But the kid who came out at right after Amelia, they pulled him out and they had his little name tag on there. And it, it said Talon. And I was like, Oh yeah. I was like, that kid is going to be trouble. But that name chickens have large Talons. I mean, could you imagine like going to somewhere and you're like,

[11:00]what's your name? Hi, I'm Talon. It immediately is like a, it's immediately a baller move. Like you automatically have the upper hand. At what point in life does that lose its appeal though? So I would say through early teens, early twenties, at some point, there's a tipping point where talent is no longer a positive thing. If you're trying to meet people or make friends or meet women, right? You, you don't think some girl wants to date a Talon. Oh God, that'd be so awesome. I'd love it. I would name a boy Talon. I think that's a great name. I mean, just, I think it, I think it depends on how you look. If I'm on Bumble and I'm swiping and my name is Talon and I look like me, I think it's bad, bad news. There's no way women are swiping right on a Talon. That looks like a normal, schlub. If it's, if it's some guy sitting on a motorcycle, it probably works, but everyone else, no go. Do you have a picture of you on a motorcycle, Russell? Yeah. Maybe this is what we're missing here. That's the sexy Rob voice. Get thee to a dealership. Maybe they would think it would say tall one. And then you could go from it.

[12:00]And if you want to, if you want to see Russell on a motorcycle, text, call into the, to the Bex line, right, Rob? How do you get ahold of it? 802-277-2325. If you text, strap your hands across my engines, Russell, to the, Bex line. If I get 10 of them, we're going to get Russell on a motorcycle with a picture. And it's going to be awesome. That is the ultimate payoff for all of our great super fans out there. We're constantly calling in and leaving voicemails and we love it. And folks, let's get into. I've actually been on a motorcycle once. Have you guys ever heard the story about me on the motorcycle? Nope. We need to hear it. Yes, we need to hear it. Technically it was a mini bike and not a full-fledged motorcycle, but it was a motorcycle. Is a motor, is a, is a motor bike or a mini bike, the same as a motorcycle or not? Uh, absolutely not. What you heard in the background was a bad to the bone plane. And then when you said it was a mini bike, you heard a record scratch. That's going to take me some time to put that together, but it's going to be worth it. Some of our listeners may know this story. We used to always go up to a cabin when we were in college,

[13:01]one of our friends cabins. And I was up there with some of our good friends, Chad, Steve, some of our listeners. And I was like, and we went out, we took out these go-karts and we had a mini bike, AKA a motorcycle for the people that are bad to the bone. And I got on this motorcycle, this motorcycle, and I'm revving it up and I go tearing down the road. And then I come flying back up the road on this dirt road. And I realized I've never ridden a motorcycle before. I don't know how to slow this thing down. Not realizing I just need to like, kind of take my hand off the throttle, move it back the other way. So you got, so you got on a, um, a moving motor vehicle. And at no point were you like cycle. My name was talent. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was going to say, this is not what most people think when you talk about Russell's hog story, but, um, so you got on a vehicle and at no point where you're like, I wonder if I should learn how to break this, like hit the brakes on this. And then you're like, ah, I don't need to learn that time to go.

[14:00]Like when you guys said, when you guys said a mini bike is not the same as a motorcycle. I just figured it couldn't be that hard. Yeah. So I come, I'm tearing back down this dirt road and I'm flying. And all of a sudden I realized I don't even know how to stop this. I don't know how to slow it down. I'm going very fast. And so I just aim right for a tree and I, and I ditched the bike into a tree. So I come flying back down. All of our friends are staring at me and I slide the motorbike, the motorcycle right into a pine tree. I tore up my leg. It was a complete disaster. So I don't know. It's going to take a lot of backs to get me back on one of those motorbikes. My fear with motorcycles is that there's going to be another fat guy on a motorcycle next to me. And it's going to look like that, like that picture from the book of world records. That's always a fear of mine. Anytime I'm on a bike. Cause I also ride mini bikes in the summer at this place that we go to. And I'm always concerned that somebody's going to be next to me and take that picture. And it's what were those guys Guinness records for like fattest twins? Like, that's not a real record, right? I don't know what you're talking about.

[15:00]Don't you know the fat motorcycle picture? You really don't know. I don't know. It would kind of be a bummer to be known as that. Like what if one of them, had this amazing accomplishment in physics or something. And they're only known as the fattest twins. And the other guy had like, you know, like the tiniest scrotum for the biggest body. And they're like, ah, you guys are the fattest twins. They're like, wait, no, actually we have all these cool things about us. We could, we'll really be a bummer if he had the tiniest scrotum and the biggest balls. That would really be an unfortunate circumstance. Well, Rob, if you ever can't make it as a power lifter, you can always go for that. You're in the running for that one, right? It's a new goal. Well, I told you that one time I was at a power lifting meet and there was a guy who was so big. He was trying to get into a, uh, uh, bathroom stall next to me and he couldn't fit in. And his name, of course, you know what his name was when he went up to lift. It's gotta be everybody. Welcome tiny to the stage. And he could not fit in the bathroom stall. I said, when he was trying to get in there, I go, this is the greatest competition I've seen all night. So strangers in the bathroom in New Jersey, check, check that off my bucket list. I am set on that one.

[16:00]Aaron, have you, did you not read like that? I used to read the, I read the Guinness book of world records is like a book for the book at once for like pizza hut to get a pizza. I was like, read the Guinness book of world records. So I have a fingernail. Have you seen the fingernail guy? Yeah. The fingernail was the lady. I was thinking of bringing the lady, but yeah, I definitely read it, but I don't recall the motorcycle picture. I got to go back and find the two, the two twins on them. How about the tall guy? Tall Waldo. Well, I think the real one we need to talk about is that one of our friends recently sent us a video of a woman crushing three white men. Watermelons in under seven seconds with their eyes. That is a record worth writing home about. Yep. And you see Russell like in the background, like he's like holding a watermelon up to his head and he's like, Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. He's like, that's a word that the watermelon couldn't hear anything. It's great. All right. Okay. Now I'm going to stop there and I'm not going to make fun of Aaron because this would be nice to Aaron podcast. What do you mean?

[17:00]The watermelon couldn't hear anything. Oh, that's because of the noise canceling headphones with the thighs and the, you know, I see. Okay. So the thigh. So if you were listening to an episode like four ago, you got that joke. I want to use your thighs like noise canceling headphones, which apparently somebody said to Russell in IRL the other day, which is mind blowing that my jokes on this podcast are taking off. Someone did quote your, your joke, Rob, but you're, I don't know if it was a joke or just an actual thing that you do, but it was fantasy. Thighs, noise canceling headphones. They get called out. Next thing you know, people are going to be saying, I'm sending you a parody songs that took way too long to do for what they actually were. That's going to be the next step. And to that person who's copying my jokes, you better fucking knock it off. Those are mine. Okay. Don't take credit for that. Those are my jokes. And I definitely didn't steal that from a different podcast that I listened to probably the day before this one. All right, rolling, going, everybody. It's time to see what everybody's up to. 20 minutes. It's time for roll. This is going to be an all time. Oh, yeah.

[18:01]Yeah. Anybody want to go first? Yeah, I do because I, I feel like you guys were baiting me. How's it going with you? I did not want to bring up bird content for my rolling going, but you guys are talking about talons and you leave me no choice. We got the talent. He's got the bird cage tattoo. You leave me no choice, but to give a bird update, which is that last night we look across the street and in the tree across the street from us going to town on its dinner. It was like wild kingdom right in my living room. So that's, my bird update. So the Hawk did not get chased out of the neighborhood by the crows. It was there eating a rat or a rabbit. I'm not even sure, but it was one of the former tenants of your garage. Yeah. Aaron was like, no, so that was fun to watch. I was recently listening to something. They were talking about Templeton's voice in the old Charlotte web movie. Do you remember what his voice was?

[19:00]It was that Paul Lynn. He's like, he's like the cover. He's like, Oh boy, I can't wait. We didn't get out and get some food. Like it was the opposite of what you think a rat would say, Matt, do your Paul into pressure. You do a better one than I do. I don't know. I don't know if I can remember what it is. Rob, help me out. Let's hear yours. I can't wait to get out of this fair and eat all this stuff out. Not letting you know that at the end of that movie, you're going to cry your eyes out like crazy. So Aaron, when the Hawk was there, did you take a picture of it and send it back to your wife? No, because she was in the room with me. We took a video and sent, sent it to my brother and his wife because his wife has become a bit of a birder. So we're not going to be mean to you. Not going to be mean to you. What time of the day was this that you saw this? And what day was it? 7. PM yesterday. Oh, 715. Maybe right after my son went to bed. This is somewhere in between. I know. I know Rob. I know you were hoping that it was during the middle of the day, but I will tell you what I did today during the middle of the day. If you're ready for a switch gears,

[20:00]which is, yeah, I, I'm, I need a sleep aid. My sound machine is turned off. So tell me, please. I'm sorry, Rob. I'm sorry. Nice to air an episode. Don't let me talk to retail last week. And I thought it would be great to keep the retail talk going because I went to a specialty store today and man, shout out specialty stores where you go into the store and they only have good shit. I went to heat a tool up on San Pablo. They only do knives, gardenware, kitchen knives. And that was the name of the store. Heeta tool. Oh, that was my nickname in high school. Yeah. Well, then, but yeah, yeah. Guy who always, guys, guys who room is always locked when his roommate comes back, breathing heavy. I show up. I was looking for kitchen shears and I went into the store and the store entirely a specialty store only has sharp things, mostly Japanese steel. So I say to the woman, I'm looking for kitchen shears. And she says to me, we only have one, one brand. And I look at them and like a dummy.

[21:00]I say to her, would you recommend them? Like, yeah, of course you would recommend them. Yeah. Only carry sharp shit. And they only carry one kind, but man, shout out specialty stores. Like know what, you know, do what you do. Do it. Well, I really had a nice time doing that today. When Rob, as you might comment, I could have been working instead. I love the idea that you went into a store where it's just sharp stuff. Yeah, man. Gardens, garden tools, kitchen knives, all of it. It's like, do you have a hammer? No, actually we have claw hammers, but the claws are so sharp. You have any mallets? Get the fuck out of here. This isn't a mallet store. This is a sharp store. When they were singing, they were like, happy birthday. And that's one for Aaron's wife at gmail.com. She'll get that. Uh, Roland going, Russell, how's it going with you? Roland going. I, the other day, I know all you guys have kids. Some of your kids are old enough to be playing sports. I know Matt is coach Matt.

[22:00]Now coach coaches, kids, coach that still undefeated, still undefeated. I went down to fun. Watch my niece play in her first soccer game that I've seen her play in this weekend. It was a hundred degrees. I went down to Rochester about an hour and a half away. Watch my niece play soccer. And I got down there and I came away with these things about parents and sports. And I had just had to run them by you guys. Russ is mad that Aaron took his Hawk eating some food outside the house. So the first thing that jumped out to me was my niece is six and this is not a competitive, not some sort of traveling league. It's an in-house league. Nothing super competitive. It's kids just trying to have fun. They had, did you light a flare and throw it into the crowd? Like in those European soccer matches, your Boban Zella or whatever. You're singing, you're singing wonderwall. You know, my dad used to yell all the time when I was, when we played youth sports,

[23:00]he thought he was so funny. You know what? He'd always yell. What's that? Don't you care? Go. It was just a joke. It was a joke to him. Like everyone else thought he was serious. And he of course couldn't care less. And it was the funniest. He'd be like, don't get go. I don't you care. And we just roll our eyes. Meanwhile, I had to have sweatpants. They had to sew my pockets shut because I kept putting my hands in my pockets, walking around. Russell, go ahead. Okay. So I go to this. Just your left hand. No, I'm not. No, I'm not doing this. You're not an extra. So you can go both hands. The pocket. I mean, I was just doing it when I was telling that story, but now I'm not doing this part of the story. Are we all putting our hands in our pockets for the rest of this podcast or not? All right. Zoom down. We're doing a crotch. Let's point the zooms at our crotch. We're tubing. Let's tube the rest of this. Oh God. Oh, that's really, those are way shorter than seven. Those are some five inch shorts. It's 10 pounds and a five gallon hat or however that works out.

[24:02]I will say this. If those were five inch in seams, whatever else Rob's got going down there is way shorter than that. That's why I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records. Yes. Yes. Just a sad picture of me. I did a sad face, by the way, for everybody listening to the podcast. The saddest man is also the smallest man with the shortest shorts. Yeah. The saddest man with the smallest balls. Let's just picture me going. Give us book of world records. Okay. Sorry, Russell. Go ahead. Anyway. So my six year old soccer game and somehow spiraled out of control. Unknown. How that happened. Probably Aaron's fault. So my niece, it was the first time she ever had a double header. It was a double header. I was like, okay, they're going to play a couple of games. Maybe they have an hour break in between or something like that. They had one game at nine and another game at three. So essentially six hours split apart for a six year old. That means her parents had to bring her to the, you know, drive 20 minutes to the field to get to this game. Games over,

[25:00]go home and have to come back four hours later for another game. And I was just wondering, like, at what point do your lives as parents no longer become your lives? You're literally just schlepping. Your kids to different events over and over. Rob, have you gone through this? Matt, your kids are starting to get older. At what point are you guys just bringing your kids to sports and you, you no longer have a life? Well, you know, that's, I'm telling you that's an advantage of living in New York city. My older one. Now she can get on the subway. She went to central park on her own the other day, walked around like she can walk to all of her sports and she's just fine. The down part is there are almost no sports going on because you are in New York city. So what she does is swimming, which is just like that. Where you go and you watch her race and it takes her 30 seconds and she gets like third and she doesn't want to look up at you. Cause the whole time I'm waving with my short shorts, you know, I got my, I've got my scarf. I'm throwing the flares and everything. And then, uh, and then like, it's like two hours till her next race. So I go and walk around. Like I know where all the goodwills are next to the,

[26:01]uh, the swimming areas and all the different parts of town. So I go there, but it's a nightmare and we don't have a car. So sometimes we got to go up to Yonkers and we're like riding a train or we have to be in a 40 minute Uber. Forget about it. But that's, that's, that's parenthood. Russell is like, whatever you're doing, you have to take care of what these kids dumb hobbies are. It's terrible. I get a dumb hobby, but a double header spread six hours apart at the same field. That's kind of crazy, right? Matt's going to defend it. No, not at all. I think it's absolutely ridiculous. It's, it's a double edged sword. It, it sucks big time. Okay. But then on the flip side, it's like, well, your kids having fun doing an activity, hanging out with their friends. And you know, if they happen to halfway like it, or, you know, that makes them say that they don't like baseball. They like soccer. They don't like soccer. They like, you know, robotics or something. I mean, I don't know. It's just, it's better. It's, it's a, it's a double edged sword, but it's better to be more active than not. If you ask me, it sucks to have these spread out like that. But these, these towns do that on purpose.

[27:01]I know they do. Cause they'd make a ton of money, you know, and the concession stands make a ton of money for all this stuff. And the hotels make a ton of money. And so they love having these tournaments come in. And spreading everything out. So people stick around for a long time. I can't speak to this from the perspective of a dad, but I can speak to this from the perspective of someone who's had to schedule some shit. I worked at the university of Minnesota school of music and I had to schedule audition days. And sometimes you would get two different instruments. This is so great. Or, you know, auditioning. I need to schedule my audition. Right. So like the kid is coming from Wisconsin or Missouri, usually Wisconsin. And I spent hours trying to make, make sure, you know, cause sometimes they'd have, they'd be auditioning on two different instruments or they would audition. And they also had to do an interview for music education. And it was always cold as shit. We did these in January and February. And I spent hours pouring over these schedules. Like, well, I don't want, you know, Johnny apple seed from wherever.

[28:00]Between his two auditions. Cause that's terrible for him and his family. And you pour over it and you pour over and you work at it. And then finally the day before the event comes out and you go like, well, I know Johnny's getting screwed, but fuck it. I'm going home. I'm done messing around with this schedule. So somebody, was trying to make sure that Russell's niece did not have to wait six hours between matches. And then that person finally said, you know what? I need to go home and rest. And this schedule is what it is. I can't, I can't torture myself anymore. Matt, but you can hear kind of Matt's competitive spirit coming out. So the other question I had about you guys as being sports parents at what age is sports, not about being fun, but very competitive is five years old, six years old. At what age are you yelling for your kid to win, win, win? Because I was watching, I was watching my nieces game and the parents were pretty cool in that one, but there was a field over same age kids and parents were going crazy. They were yelling for their kids to get in there, not to have fun. It was, it was winning to score. And, and I understand that energy and helping your kids have fun,

[29:01]but at what age does it change from my kid needs to be the best or my kid needs to have fun. Never. It never, ever, ever changes. And if you think that you're going to get your kid, a scholarship because you put them at some camp in that is an eight year old or something, you're nuts. You're absolutely nuts. There's like 2% of everybody gets a full ride, you know, and all of these other sports, other than football and basketball, you're getting like a quarter of a percent of a quarter of a scholarship max. And so all of these sports, baseball, soccer, all of these crazy ass volleyball, stuff like that. You're, I mean, the, the idea that you're going to get your college paid for, you might as well put all that money you're going to put into camps and everything into some sort of, IRA or something or some five 29 account. And you'll get way more money out of any scholarship than you ever get. So the whole thing, youth sports, 100% percent should be, will that kid play next year? Did they have a good enough time, make enough friends that they want to play next year? You know, if 2% of people only get a full ride in college,

[30:02]that would explain my freshman and sophomore year. And I'm paused for laugh. Do you see how I've let it sit in there? I did what you guys said. Let it breathe. You're learning. Parents are parents are psycho. I used to, when I, and you know what? A lot of it is, is that like when I used to coach middle school football, I was a psycho too. Cause I thought that's what I like grew up with. And I thought that's what everybody was. And then as you get older, you're like, none of this matters. Like I, my, my youngest one has zero interest in sports. I put her in soccer and they've quit. I mean, they've quit almost every sport we've done. And I'm like, yeah, okay, fine. Like, I'm not going to be like, Oh no, we got to go every day. Cause I'm like, try it out. Who cares? You don't like it. Let's not do it. And I'm not going to make you do it. And have we already discussed what happens when you quit a sport in Russell's family? I've already made Russell tell this story. Russell, what happens when you quit a sport? Well, I know we weren't being nice to Aaron today, but we didn't have to be mean to Russell. No, we have to do it. I like this. Russell, have I made you tell this story already? Uh, I don't know. I, I was never a great athlete and everything.

[31:01]I played everything up until I was about 13 or so. And then kind of just started. Everyone gets weeded out at some point. Right. Right. But I got weeded out of hockey very, very early in life. Aaron, is this where you're going? Yes. I love this story. Okay. So I was five or six years old and I was playing hockey for the first year in, in Minnesota. Hockey's a big deal. You're either you're in it and you're playing all the time or you're going to get past. You're not going to be good enough. You're going to, you're going to get past. And so I was in hockey, but I wasn't super into it. And so I played for one season and I could barely skate. And there were kids skating circles. Around me. And I wanted to quit and my mom wouldn't let me quit. So every day I had to go to practice and they would give me a chair and I would just push this chair around while I was skating behind the chair. My mom made me play the whole season skating behind the chair while everyone else was just skating around, shooting pucks in the nets. So like, if this isn't part of my problem with where I'm at in life,

[32:00]that's gotta be, I should have just quit earlier. The thing about this, that I, the reason I have to ask for this, is, is I just Russell's attention to detail with his memory. Russell's recall for amazing that I love to hear these stories. Cause he knows all these details and I have to ask, I'm sorry, Russell coach looks over and Russell's sitting on the chair in the corner of the ring. He's like, sorry, coach. That coach is like, if there are ever dating apps in the future, that kid is going to get no swipes. He needs to be a better skater. Russell. I'm sorry to turn your own ruling going back on the other dump. The other dumb thing about youth, sports and like, especially like six year old, right? Like my Eddie's sick. He just turned six this week. And so I believe he likes to go by Edwin on the podcast. Edwin on the pod. Right. Said Ed, you try your whole life to get them to share and play. And maybe we've talked about this before, you know, that you'd try to hate, be, be a good person, play with everybody, involve everybody. And then all of a sudden you get two teams and you throw them into the

[33:00]middle and it's all about getting the ball, get away. No score. No, don't do that. You know? And they're just like, wait a minute. You just said to, you know, and so it's, it's just, it's ridiculous. And when I try to get my kids to share, they're like, I don't even like turn back time. All right. Uh, who doesn't like Matt? Yeah. My dumb kids. That's why they're at soccer camp. If I want to punish him with double headers, uh, Matt rolling on, how's it going with you? Matt's got his list. Good. I got a list. I try to make it quick here. You guys went long. No, I'm kidding. I got a list though. We've never heard for $200 please. That's what Russ's date said. Oh, yeah. That's the opposite of the joke. I just made. I texted you guys this earlier, but Patty Smith is coming to Minnesota. Are we, am I obligated to go to see her in concert? Just to say that I saw Patty Smith in concert. Is that one of those things? Like, you know, 30 years from now, I can say that I saw Patty Smith in concert or the thing about Patty Smith and you, Matt, is that you did very clearly say,

[34:01]yeah, going to a, a Patty Smith, like you're on record saying, going to see her like in a live show would be awesome. That's where you got to see. Yeah. So you gotta, you might have to be a, a person of your word, man. I've regretted, um, I was thinking about this and I was, I was listening to the killers, their new album, uh, blowing up. The mirage is just phenomenal. Rob's brought this up. I've been listening to a nonstop last two weeks. I don't know why, but I, you know, I went to their concert, hated them live. So I've really done about five years of coming back around. I've, I've, I was, that was back in the day though, when I wouldn't go to a concert by myself. And now I'll go to a con, I'll go to any concert by myself now, because I went, I missed out on seeing Chris Cornell, uh, acoustic live because I was like, Oh, you know, I couldn't find a buddy to go with. And then a year later he dies. Right. And so now forever, I'm like, God, I cannot miss these shows. And I'm like, yeah, Patty Smith is legend enough. You know, should I go see her? And I, you know, if, if, if I'm got nothing going on, I'll probably go see it.

[35:00]But I don't know. Is there anybody you guys have missed in concert? Maybe this is more for Rosie than anything, um, that you wish you would have told the story. Prince is the number one for me. I had, I, I had tickets when Prince was here in Oakland in March of 2016. It was just Prince at the piano, Prince piano, microphone tour. I was in on ticket master to get tickets. It was at the Oracle arena tickets were 275 bucks. I don't know. $275 in this giant arena is just him at the piano. Like, should I do it? Yeah. It's like 10 orders of fish and 10 orders of kids, fish and chips at Aaron's restaurant. That is kids go to. Yeah. And then the next time I logged in, all the tickets were sold. And then he was gone six weeks later. So that one, that's his confidence. Russ's confidence with that joke was so good. Cause he told the joke. And then immediately before anybody did it, he goes, he reviewed his own junk. He was like, right. And you can kind of tell he tailed off. He's like fish. I love that. That's a good joke. That was a good joke. Yeah. That's a good joke.

[36:01]Yeah. Really? Like, I mean, now I've been, I think I've told that story before. Like now I, you know, my whole bank account, like if, if I could bring Prince back from the dead, you know, Jenny went and saw guns, and roses at Madison square garden. And I declined to go with her. And I don't know why she went on her own, like by herself. I went on my own at the U S bank stadium and saw them. I regret that. Cause it's like, why would I not go to that? Every time I saw it, November rain live. That's all I wanted to see. I wanted to see November rain live. And I saw it. It was great. Yeah. And he jumps into the slash, goes into the wedding cake. And it's so good. Rob. So Jenny comes to you and says, Hey, we should go see guns and roses. And you say, no, I'm going to pass. Yep. What were you doing? I don't know because she's, we should get Adele's plan tonight at Madison square garden. We should get tickets. Well, you can imagine buying tickets secondhand to Adele in New York city. It's a pretty penny. It sets you back quite a bit. And guess what? Totally worth it. I have no idea how much it costs. It was an unbelievable concert. I've never seen anything like it. It was so good. Totally worth it. And then she asked me to do the same thing with guns and roses,

[37:01]a band. I actually enjoy quite a bit with, and this was with slash and with Axel, you know? And yes, is it like, is it like the bully in high school that when, you see him later and he's like 50 pounds heavier than he was in high school. And he's this big fat guy. Yes, that is it's fat guys Axel now, but I still should have gone to see it. Like I have figured out in life, Rosie, maybe you have to, that I'm an experienced guy more than a things guy, like when buying things. And it's, it's hard for me now. I mean, obviously it went just flew out and saw Rob. It was great for his birthday, things like that. Like I will spend money on doing that before I buy a new car or something. I'll let my car, you know, I don't know. And so I just, I was missing concerts over the last year, year and a half because of COVID there's, I'm going to, I'm going to lose a lot of money here in the next, in the fall and the winter going to some concerts. So I mean, then the answer is in the question. You got to go to Patty Smith. That brings me to my rolling going because I love buying things. It's one of my favorite things to do.

[38:00]And I just bought myself a server with two, four terabyte hard drives. I was up till three o'clock last night sitting up and you might be like, Rob three o'clock. Oh my God, it's so late. What about work today? And the answer, is school's out for summer. This is officially the summer of Rob and it is already off to a rough start. I got about four hours of sleep last night. How do you guys, how do you guys, what are your sleep techniques? How do you get enough sleep? If I'm left to my own devices, I will just stay up all night and then I wake up early and then I'm miserable for the whole day. What's your, what do you do? What's your sleep routine? And, and, and go into a lot of detail about it, please. Okay. And tell me your wife's sleep routine and go into more detail about that. Please. I mean, I don't know if I have a sleep routine. Oh yeah. And if you want, okay, fine. If you want to take some pictures of your wife sleeping and send them to me, do that. Thank you. You know, we, we start this, we, we, we were going to start this show about nine o'clock and it turned to nine 15. And,

[39:00]you know, slowly, we've been pushing this thing back about 10, 15, 10, 12. You know, like I don't go to bed until like one o'clock. And so then, you know, my routine for the next three or four days is just completely left. Totally. And then I'm a miserable person, horrible father, mean to Sarah, you know, mean to my mom when she's folding my clothes, things like that. So I don't know. I mean, there's some things that, yeah, definitely interrupt my, my routine. I mean, I typically go to bed at 11 and pray that my son sleeps all night. And lately when he gets up, he wants my wife. So I sleep a little bit more, but last night after a protracted battle, he let me come into his room and help at 11 and then got up at 4 30 with Wallace. And he didn't go to bed. And he didn't go to bed. He didn't go back to bed. I mean, you don't, I don't, you don't want to get into sleep conversations with me. There's nothing fun about that. You're telling your kid like, Hey, last night there was this hawk eating this. And the kid's like, I, I love getting up early. I'm a morning person.

[40:00]Of course. The whole thing, but the whole thing is this like with kids. Such dad energy. He's up early, like taking stock of like his extension cords. He's like, Oh yeah, this is great. Like from nine o'clock, it's about the only time I can watch like a show if I want to watch it. Right. And, and I don't know. So like, there's this time where everybody else is in bed. That's kind of me time. And so it's a big decision. Do I stay up and hang out and do the things I want to do? Or do I go to bed so I can get up early? I don't know. Let's do the crossword. Yeah. Street journal. But I think we should all feel honored. I think what Matt is telling us is that one night a week is valuable. Me time is spent with us. So I think we should, we should appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. You guys should appreciate. No, for this man. Matt tells me he has meat time after this. So I don't, I don't know what the, I don't know what that is. Meat. Yeah. Well done. Oh, I usually do like, yeah. If I got some meat in the fridge, I go in and eat it right at the podcast. Like if I got some chicken leftover or like a sausage, that's what I go for. Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah.

[41:00]Make a quesadilla and go to bed. Ah, that's good living. Listen, man, I I'm like, I'm like one hour sober of making fun of Aaron and I can stick with it. That was tough. That was tough. You tempted me there. You tempted me there to, because what you just told us, the mouse is over the snake. It's just like so close to be like, I'm not going to do it. Speaking of meat and eating meat late at night. How about Graceland? Hmm. I guess I don't see how that goes. I don't get how that goes together at all, but you don't want to eat meat late at night. Like I guarantee. Oh, he ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Well, he must've, he must've had buckets of chicken once in a while though. Oh yeah. I got to admit though, dying on the toilet like Elvis did. I could, I, that would be okay. Wouldn't it? If you're just like, Oh man, I'm having trouble. And then you're like, Oh, I'm dying. Oh, well like, like your last thought in life is like, Oh, I got to wipe. Like I cannot have somebody come in. You know what I mean? Like it's bad enough to begin with. Oh my God. I don't know. Like,

[42:00]like it's like, like that one time you brought a bagel into the bathroom with you at the same time. And you're like having a heart attack. You're like, Oh my God, throw this bagel out, flush it down the toilet. You try to flush down the toilet so they don't see that you're eating a bagel. And they come in and you're dead. And it looks like you've shit out this bagel. And everybody's like, Whoa, God, there's a whole bagel. It's not even chewed up or anything. Like that's wild. That would be my life story. You know what? And if that happens at my funeral, tell that story. Okay. Play the, you know what? Play the sound clip. And to everybody at my funeral, don't steal my jokes about noise, canceling headphones. Okay. That's my, would you rather, you interrupted him. He was on a roll. Would you rather go out in auto erotic asphyxiation that we'd have to cover up? Or would you rather have us cover up the bagel in the bathroom? I think if it was a bagel in the bathroom situation and you told, I, everybody was auto erotic asphyxiation. They'd be like, I don't know. I heard it was a bagel in the bathroom. Like nobody would believe you. It's like, that sounds like a lot of work. I don't think Rob would be able to set up all that belt stuff, but I do believe that he would try to eat a bagel in the bathroom and then try to flush it as he dies. My last sight would be a bagel not getting flushed on the toilet.

[43:02]I'm like, the only question is if you can do auto erotic asphyxiation lying down, if it can be done lying down, then they'd believe it. But if it's a standing up situation, they know it's not Rob. I don't know. I got to have some meat time. Figure that out. What do you think? What do you think is more difficult? Auto erotic asphyxiation while laying down or eating a bagel while laying down? Oh, I'm a champ. I'm a champ at laying, laying down, eating stuff. When I was younger, I used to tell my dad, can you go make a sandwich for me? And he would just get up and make me a bologna sandwich and cheese and heat it up and bring it to me in bed. And so when I first got married, I was sitting there in bed and I turned to Jenny. I go, Hey, can you go make me a sandwich real quick? And she goes, what the fuck did you just say to me? And I was like, wait, what? Like, I was like, I was like, I was seriously confused. I was like, what, what is going on here? Like, why, why is this not happening? And then I said, my dad used to go make me sandwiches and she goes, what is wrong with you? And I was like, Oh, I thought that's like everybody's life. Like really, this podcast is really therapy for me. Like it makes me realize why I am the way I am.

[44:00]It's possibly because my dad used to just make sandwiches. Now he also once was going upstairs to get something. And I said, Hey, grab me whatever you're getting. I'll take a bite of it. Comes down. He goes, Oh, here you go. A little bit on a fork or whatever. It looks like chocolate ice cream or whatever. And I eat it. And I was like, Oh, what is that? And he goes, Oh, this is a cat food. I was feeding the cat downstairs. So fed me wet cat food. Oh yeah. I distinctly remember that he denies it up and down and then brings up the cake mix stuff. But I'm going to interview him about that too. I'm going to interview him about the cake mix on the cat food. And we're going to get this to the bottom of this. I thought he was going to give you a piece of his best friend's wife when he was deep. I thought he was going to bring you a disco ball. I like that one too, Russell, because you gave up like halfway through. You're like deep. Now, I figured, it's just going to be my bit. I give up on jokes halfway through. I think, I think that's a great bit. Just like I wanted to quit hockey when I was a kid. I wasn't allowed to. That reminds me of another story. My dad, he was in basketball, got cut and they were like, or he didn't, they couldn't cut him. So they said, here, you're back for practice today. Jump back and forth over this bench. And he did it for like 15 minutes and nobody came back.

[45:02]And he was like, Oh, I get it. And then he left. I think that's so great. Well, we can't cut anybody, but you in the locker room, just jump over this chair. And he was like, maybe that's what they're doing. Russell, they're giving you the cut. And it's like, I can't, my mom won't let me quit. All right. Talk about Graceland. This is what? 86. Paul Simon is having a tough go of things in the eighties, right? His partner, the only guy who could possibly make him look handsome. Art Garfunkel hated him. His wife, Carrie Fisher decided that she was not his only hope. And his last album, he was married to Princess Leia. Yeah. For real? Wow. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He's he, he, I think Jabba literally has a better haircut. Then he does. She must've whooped his ass. She is so much tougher than him. Like he must've been terrified of her. Oh yeah. Oh, totally. And that is hot. Like the thing about Carrie Fisher just dominating you would be so great. Do you think Paul Simon ever asked Princess Leia to make him a sandwich while they were laying in bed together or not? Yeah.

[46:00]But he did it like Jabba. He was like, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh God. Hey, can you make me a sandwich? Why did Africa get your own sandwich? Uh, so then he, uh, on top of all, all this and his haircut is seriously fucked up. If you look at him in every picture, this, all this guy was ever a super, this was like a superstar before videos. That's why call me. I was like this, the stencil animation video, right? Like he doesn't even appear in that one. No, no, no, no. He appears with Chevy chase. That's the video where he's there with Chevy chase, Chevy chase lip sync. Cause he made a video that he hated so much. And then he was like, Hey Chevy, come on in. And then Chev, it's just the major, it's like super dad energy. Like they are doing extension cords and like discussing what kind of hose roller up they have and which one they like the best. Matt knows what I'm talking about with the hose roller upper. You got to have a good one. Well, I did have, I'm an HVAC tech in the spring. I've, I've perfected my sprinkler game for my front lawns. I got that on my list, but we'll, we'll save that for next. All right. Matt is masturbating while he says that. So is that he,

[47:00]he had a Saturday night live band member came to Lauren was like, wants to do her own album. And Lauren said, Hey, you should meet my friend, Paul Simon. Cause of course it was just this huge flex. And she goes, okay, Paul, I want this, my album to sound like this cassette. And, and it gives her this bootleg Baconga, which is like a South African type of music. Like kind of a, what's like a rhythm and a beat. Yeah. Township, township jive. Paul Simon calls it township jive on the liner notes. Don't like that. Is that, was that the name of the album or is that what he does? How he described the music. That's how he described the music. The album was called a 40 and jive volume two or gumboots, gumboots, accordion jive volume two. Yeah. He did not, he did not, he does not come off great, I think in any of this, but so, he, he tells, he tells this woman who comes to him being like, Hey, I want my album to sound like this. He goes, you know what? I'm going to make an album that sounds like this. And Wikipedia says their relationship deteriorated after this. He went, he then decided to go to South Africa, which was a huge deal at the time. Cause the UN had put on a cultural boycott.

[48:01]And before he left, he was singing at, we are the world. And he talked to Quincy Jones and Harry Belafonte. Quincy was like, yeah, you should go. You know, it's going to help everybody out. Harry Belafonte is like, yeah, you should go, but wait for me to go. Okay. It with these, um, anti-apartheid people in South Africa. And to which Paul Simon said, ah, no, I'm not going to do that. And he just left and went, took him and his producer on like a guy's night over to South Africa. And basically he came in and said, I didn't have any songs written. They would perform their music. And then I would just make up lyrics over the top. And that's what would record. Right. So basically he got criticized like crazy for this album because people kind of compared it to modern day colonialism where basically he went and strip mined whatever he wanted from him and then brought it back. Now, of course it's, it's not the same because he paid the musicians, you know, 10, probably tenfold what they would make normally when they flew around with them. He made sure they flew first class, but it is kind of that a lot of people thought it was that case of sharing money and fame with them.

[49:00]But at the same time, he never once made a stand against apartheid at the time in South Africa. So I think he rightly got a lot of criticism for that, but let's get into the album and we can kind of talk about this as we go through. We have the boy in the bubble. And by the way, Oh, that's a start. It's a great start, but you can tell his lyrics are just like, they're off the wall for most of this album. You can tell he's just like, well, he seems like he's just doing Dylan. He's like doing Dylan caricatures over and like, you know, Springsteen, it's just, he's following the like, well, I'm going to just, and then, you know, it grows into like Craig Finn from the whole study. Eventually someday it's just like, I'm going to just say whatever I'm thinking. It doesn't really matter. But right. Yeah. I mean, I, I've said before, I know, every lyric on this album, absolutely none of them make sense. I mean, at one point he's like sunsets on a watermelon town. And it's like, wait, what are you talking about? But what you, what I love about this album, what I loved growing up is that it's like this. Addictively happy album with these base and,

[50:00]and, and this noise that I'd never heard before. I just, I loved it. Here we have Graceland. By the way, if you go on genius to learn about the song Graceland, you know what they give you? There's a girl in New York city, calls herself, a 17 minute YouTube video of a professor talking about Graceland. I thought that might give you highlights of Bruce Jenner's college career at Graceland college in Lamona, Iowa. That's what I was thinking about. You know what? I thought this was that Kevin Costner movie, 3000 miles to Graceland with Courtney Cox. Ah, yes. You know, this is the first of some crazy appearances on this album. So the, the credits on this album are wild. So first of all, you're on the whole album is buggy to Kumalo. I don't know if I'm saying that right, but the bassist who plays on most of the tracks, uh, I think he was South African buggy to Kumalo is incredible, but our guy, Adrian Ballou, the guitarist from talking heads and Bowie shows up here a whole bunch.

[51:01]Um, but I didn't know this. That's your band talking heads. That's awesome. I love them. I didn't know your favorite band. I don't have to like this one title. The Everly brothers do vocals on Graceland. Like Paul Simon was like, he had serious clout. He could just call up anybody and they would. So I don't know a lot about the politics of this, of this record. I think that's definitely questionable, but he certainly had clout to bring in great musicians and you hear it all up and down every track. What's the most famous Everly brothers song. What's the song that I should know of theirs. Wake up a little Susie. I was going to say bye bye love, but yeah, either they're probably equally, uh, equally famous Everly brothers of Shenandoah, Iowa. The other thing I love about Graceland is it has inspired one of my favorite covers of all time. Check out Willie Nelson. Oh my God, Rob. Oh yes. This is a winner. I love Willie Nelson. Really? I'm here for it. When you bring up Willie Nelson, I was listening to, if you listen to the extended version of the,

[52:01]whatever the, what's the new version of the, the 25th, uh, 25th anniversary and, and Paul Simon's talking about it. And he, he said that the drum beat is kind of based on like a Johnny Cash, kind of that, the, the, the drum. Tennessee too, right? Yeah. And that was very cool. So when you hear Willie Nelson singing it, it makes perfect sense there. Doesn't it? Yeah. Right. I know what I know. I mean, this, this, this album is so sonically rich and just fun. I love this song. I thought this song was so fun. How can you not like bop around with this and have fun with it? I didn't, I never heard this song before, but I absolutely loved it. It might've been my favorite song on the album. This is a good one. It is fun to hear this combination. It's a good combination of his, you know, obviously musical talent with this African sound in the background. This song is all about making small talk. Do you guys have any tips for making small talk when you're at a party? Like, like if you're,

[53:00]if you're talking to an adult, you don't know, do you guys have any good advice for small talk? Oh, definitely. Ask them what they do for a living. That's a really interesting question. Just make sure you talk about what you do for a living. That's a good start. This isn't applicable anymore, but I had a friend who was back in the day. I had a friend who was back in the days of Netflix DVDs. I'm with Matt, man. Like, do we don't, we, you work all day. Don't talk about work when, like, if you can avoid it, you know what, if you do what you love guys, you never work a day in your life. And that's why I milk racehorses for semen. Once again, Rob asking us a question for the express purpose of telling his own job. But I had a friend back in the days of Netflix, Netflix DVDs, who would ask what's in your Netflix queue. And that seemed kind of dorky and scripted, but honestly, like that would kick ass. Take off some conversations. So like, what are you, what are you reading? You know, have you eaten anywhere fun? What did you cook for lunch today? Those are interesting questions for those sounds suspicious. The question that Aaron wants to wrap around back to him to be

[54:01]asked, ask me what I ate today. Ask me what I read. That's also especially like what Aaron brings up on his own. Hey, did you see any birds eating anything like outside your house today or anything like that? Why don't you bring this up? I saw these two crows chasing a hawk today. Oh, I mean, I don't happily talk about the NBA playoffs, but nobody wants to hear me talk about the NBA playoffs. I got to try to expand. And whoever talked with Aaron is afterwards. Like Aaron leaves the party early and to go put his son to bed or whatever. And, and they're like, damn, did you hear the guy talking about the two crows and the hawk? I heard he's got a podcast. We all got to check it out. Yeah, exactly. They find him next morning with a bagel in the toilet. I've always heard of the Ford method. Have you guys ever heard that? F O R D. You ask somebody about their family and then the, Oh is, Oh shit. I forgot what their name is. So the, the disaster. Now I'm not listening to what they're saying. R stands for Rob is my name. So I'm going to take over this conversation. And D is something about dreams is actually the end of the Ford, but I can't imagine. Can you imagine asking a stranger at a party about their dreams?

[55:01]Like, Hey, you had any dreams lately? It's like, no, I think you, wow. Yeah. What do you guys have any sort of re recurring dreams or anything or not? I used to have a one where a dog, speaking of sharp things, I used to have one where a dog on my street would chase me with the shears, like gardening shears. And it was scared the hell out of me. That, and slime, or used to always come slime me in my dreams. And it scared the hell out of me, which now it's like, slimer and I are buds. I, you know, my hot dogs I've eaten in the last two days. I'm like a modern day slimer. It's great. And this is the part where you guys say something fun. And then we do a podcast about it. We put it out. I really, I honestly, we're listening for Matt's recurring dreams. We're listening for Matt's recurring dreams. I honestly think Rob, I don't know. You're, you're on a tear tonight. So as much as we can stand out of your way, just let you do your thing. That's kind of what I think we should. I've got a lot of good bits about slimer because I bet his penis looks a lot like his body. You know what I mean? And you're Donovan Mitchell. Okay. So Aaron just killed that. Okay. So I quit. All right. No, sorry, Aaron. That was a good point.

[56:00]Thank you for bringing up Donovan Mitchell. The only, I know, I know we, we, nobody really cares to move on to music. So I, we can talk about my two recurring dreams. And I think some psychologist is going to call up and just have a field day, but don't ever Google your dreams. You will only feel bad about yourself unless it's just, it's just me. Yeah. Because one of them is that I run, I cannot get to first base in time. So like I'm running, like I'm running in quicksand. You get your hand on there. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then the other one is just, it's, I think a lot of people have it where they're, they're trying to get somewhere, but they just, they never get there. Like they keep coming into different obstacles or new things happen. So, so I don't know. Yeah. Matt's running to first base and he wakes up and he had a wet dream. He's like, wait, what now this is really messed up. I don't get this at all. Hmm. Aaron, do you have any recurring? I love baseball. I mean, I wish this is not, this is going to be such, I have, I have a lot of really boring dreams. Like if I,

[57:00]we will be the judge of that, my friend, Rob, literally Rob, be nice. He dreams about a dinner in his backyard and he wakes up covered in sweat. Oh, Oh my God. No. Like that. So, so once again, my lady has been in charge of the middle of the night. Wake up. So for at least the last three months, but there have been periods in my son's life where I was up with him a lot in the night. And when I came back to bed at like four or five in the morning, I would just, I would just have regular old dreams. Like I would just dream that I was getting up and making coffee. And like the day was starting like that hours between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. I would just be like, I'd just be waking up like normal day. Like, and those would be my dreams. Like that's not fun. Those that's not enjoyable. That's like every year before the dreams for the school year starts. I have a dream that I'm in school, but I have, I have failed a class. And so I need to teach and take the class at the same time. So I'm like in a foods room with my, and it's always like foods or something. I'm in a food room with a coworker and I'm also a student,

[58:01]which I don't know why. I mean, how did I not pass foods in high school? Like I nailed foods. You're talking like this is a normal class. What's that? Like, you know, like a home ec class or something, but I don't want to say home ec. You're just like, oh, you're calling it foods. I don't know. Cause we had one, one semester was food. Like you made food, you learned how to make food. And then the other semester was like sewing and stuff, which was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Cause the kid spent the whole hour sewing his pillow on his, you know, he's sitting there on his, holding on his lap, sewing a pillow bell rings at the end. He gets up. The whole fucking thing is sewn to his pants. He has sewed the pillow to his pants. He's like, oh no guys, I'm going to, I'm going to try a joke here. That sounds like given where Rob grew up, they were training some of you. And then some of you, they knew the best you could do is marry a doctor. It's get it. Rob, you buried it. You get it. You got it. Joke's on Rosie. He also married a doctor. And it's a shame. You didn't remember that. Okay. Respect women, Rosie. Think about that. That's true.

[59:00]No, that's absolutely true. I did. Exactly. I know what's true. Listen, I've been 100% looking at those pictures you sent me of her sleeping at night with an extra PhD. She's got a little cap on. She's got a little mortarboard on. She's like, are you right? I should have said medical doctors. Damn Rob. You, you, you, you took the high road. I still think non-medical doctors, they work hard and they earned it. So I don't care what you think. And don't give me the thumbs down over Zoom. I go low and you go high. Nice job, Rob. All right. Thank you. And that was also something that happened sophomore year of college. Okay. Gumboos. We arranged my position on this friend of mine who had a little bit of a breakdown. I heard this. I said, yeah, you know, breakdowns, common breakdowns, goals. Go ahead, Ross. Why doesn't Aaron go first on this one? Well, I think, man, you know, I got a story about gumboot dancing. You guys want to hear my story about gumboot dancing? I would love to hear the story about gumboot dancing. All right. So I had to look it up again today to know exactly the history.

[60:02]That was Aaron's left. No, shut up. No, I'm sorry. Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, yeah. I didn't mean to tell you to shut up. I got to say though, you cannot. And this was a text we got today where Aaron just said, oh, I have a story about gumboot dancing. I, I have no idea what gumboot dancing is. I thought that's what John Kerry got out of the election for was something with a gumboot gunboat kind of Swift boat. Really? But I mean, if he was Canadian. Yeah. Okay. Let me tell you the story first, because I, I remembered seeing gumboot dancing and then I had to, I had to look up the history of it. But when I was 13, I was in the Des Moines children's chorus. And so the funny story is that I was still in the children's chorus. So I was trying to sing Alto after my voice had changed, which was, not really a pleasant experience. And we hosted the, I think it was called the Des Moines international children's choral festival and the artists in residence,

[61:02]the featured artist was the Drakensberg boys choir from South Africa. And one of the, so this would have been 1992 or three, I think 1993, summer, 93, maybe some of them just miss the cultural boycott. Okay. So you're lucky, right? Exactly. Right. So this was a big deal. Like this is an integrated boy choir, from South Africa. We're going to bring them to the United United States. There are black, black kids and white kids singing together. This was a big deal. And to me, I thought this was an amazing, you know, world changing experience. And these dudes could sing their asses off and they sang traditional choral music. But one of the things they did as a showcase for us, when it was like, everybody let their hair down was they showed us gumboot dancing where it's, they're wearing these Wellington boots and, and you, you know, it's, it's really, it's really similar to the, uh, in black fraternities and sororities in the U S where there's rhythmic stomping, everybody's stomping in the same stepping in the same rhythm. And then they're slapping the boots to make some additional noises.

[62:02]So I remembered seeing this, uh, when I was a kid watching the Drakensberg work wire boy choir do this. And the crowd is like, that's a really good gumboot dance and good job. Yes. Well, no, I mean, the thing was like, also, you went through handsome and like all the girls were like, Oh, I love the boys from South Africa. And I was like, yo, I'm like, look, I almost have like maybe talk, but it never, it never worked out. Um, but, uh, then I, I had to look it up. Gumboot dancing comes from the gold mines in South Africa. So it's not actually that, uh, not that pleasant. And it was a way for, uh, work crews to send messages to one another across long distances, because of course they weren't encouraged to communicate with one another. But, um, yeah, that's my gumboot dancing story. So I've seen it in person, but I didn't understand the significance of it until, I looked it up, uh, this week inspired by the quest and the podcast, right? That's yes, that's right.

[63:00]Where are we? The beauty, the beauty for me on this, this song was the accordion. Did you guys hear that accordion? Play it again. I was having this discussion in a taxi heading downtown. That is badass accordion, is it not? Isn't that bass? There's two or three songs on this album that are heavy accordion. So I thought what we could do is a list of the greatest accordion songs ever. If you guys remember, why don't I have the countdown sound clip on the list page? That would make sense, right? Not smart enough to do that. Aaron would make fun of you, but it's be nice to Aaron and Rob day. I like that. Be nice to Aaron and Rob day. Okay. So we, we, we heard the accordion in some of these songs. We're going to go back and get some of some famous polka accordion. We're going to get some current accordion. We're going to start with one of Rob's favorite. And I know Aaron doesn't really like the songs. Aaron's trying to look at the songs. I see you here and trying to spy the songs. Stop looking at the songs.

[64:01]Before we talk about it, there's one accordion song that does not make the list. We don't need to replay it. Matt, your boys Pearl jam have a song called bugs, which is accordion heavy. It is a terrible, terrible song. It's one of their, it's one of their filler songs. And I didn't want to play it and have you get mad at me if we played it. And then I ripped it. So it's not on the list. So I got one or two of those songs in every album. So, it's, it's a, and they actually play that live and people go nuts because it's so bad. I think that they're happy to see it. Yeah. Talking heads have a few songs like that too. I feel really bad guys get, but I gotta be honest. This whole list today is based on dividing Rob and Aaron. I didn't realize you guys would be getting along. I thought you would still be fighting like you have been for the last four months. Oh no. Wait, have we been fighting to continue the division between Rob and Aaron? So the first song, Aaron, I know you're not a weird Al guy, but weird Al has some amazing, amazing polka. And the first one was one of his biggest hits. This is, I love Rocky road by weird Al,

[65:00]which was a parody of, I love rock and roll. Check this accordion out here. Have you ever seen the video of him playing the accordion? It's pretty crazy. Good. You have, he's pretty good. I'm a huge weird Al fan. I've, I've watched so many videos of him when he, he plays the accordion. That's his thing. He plays because his dad was a famous polka guy. Or am I not supposed to say that? No, you can. Yeah. His dad was a famous, famous polka. And Yankovic is a famous name in polka. You know, I had polka at my wedding, by the way. And I had polka that wedding night. No, that's not true. Actually, we both, I had a serious case of poison Ivy. My wedding night, it went all the way down my back and Jenny put a caramel in down the front of her dress. And so when she took off her dress to reveal her decolletage on the wedding night, it was covered in melted caramel. And I was so turned on. I was going to say that's right. That has to be the moment. You know, you made the right decision. Exactly. Yeah. Me covered in poison Ivy and her with caramel over her decolletage.

[66:02]I loved it. So Aaron, you've said once before that you're not a weird alpha and you don't like the message he sends. And so I apologize for giving Rob. Rob really likes weird. I had to give him some, some songs, but Frank Yankovic, Rob said it is very famous. He's famous for like beer barrel polka. He's one of the most famous polka stars in the world. And it turns out that Aaron weird out who you don't like actually performed beer barrel polka. With one of your favorite bands, the roots. Check this out. Let's hear it. I want to hear it. That would be questionable if you guys have ever heard of him playing the drums like the dragging beats, dragon. No way, man. He's right on it. I know you can, you can, is it, if this weird out, if that's weird out playing, he's really ripping it, man. That's cool. He's a legit, extraordinarily talented accordion player. You're going to hear in the background right now. I knew all the rolling stone songs growing up from his polka collection, where he would play.

[67:00]I cover rolling stone song in a medley as a polka. There are a ton of them. And he has a whole album of just polka, but his, his rolling stone polka medley is how I learned like every like brown sugar and start me up. Like all these songs were from polka. And then when I heard him in real life, I was like, Oh, that's what the song bitch is about. It's not a polka. Like it blew my mind. I didn't have a lot of dates when I was younger. You guys are being too nice to each other. I don't like it. I was nice to Rob. Nice to Aaron. I got to be nice to Rob back again. We have never played a song by they might be giants on this podcast before. The next song is called particle man. They might be giants featuring the accordion. Check this out, Rob, just for you. They play it in concert. People love it. Now I am going to say, there we go. I am going to say when people bring up this song with, they might be giants. I always kind of give them this look, not their best. So that's the thing is I was going to be like, I actually liked this song, but this is like what a basic,

[68:01]they might be giants fan would like, right? Like I was like, I like this one. If you're into, they might be giants. I'll take it. Matt, did you know, I've heard Rob talk about, they might be giants over and over. I did a little research on them. It's only two guys. It's not like a whole band. It's two dudes. Did you know that, Matt? I had no idea. I couldn't name one. They might be giant song. And I should probably know a few just for Rob. Well, now you know particle. Once again, I forwarded you guys their concert dates, got no reply, no text reply whatsoever. Aaron's because I forwarded him to you like a week before Aaron's text about the birds. Got way more reply. Just a text of a picture of birds. And he goes, Hey, if you have live photo, you can see these birds move. Like even that got more response to me being like, Hey, here's some concerts of, they might be giants. So I don't want to be too nice to Rob. I got to, I got to favor Aaron a little bit too. I got to be nice to Aaron. So the next song is last week or a few weeks ago, we were talking about villains. This is MF doom, mad villain. This song is called accordion. Check this one out. Yeah.

[69:01]This MF doom rapping over an accordion sample, right? Yeah. I live on the beat. The mad villainy record. Nice to be old. I don't like the air enjoying this though. Cut, cut the music, Rob, cut the music. I don't like that. Aaron's enjoying this. So the next song on the list is a song that has over a billion YouTube views, which I assume means Aaron has never seen it. So this next song is not for Aaron. This is Don Omar. Don's a Kuduro. Do you guys know this one? Check this out. Oh yes. That is an electric accordion. I worked with somebody who is from Mexico and every day she would play this song in the classroom. And I was like, she would play this over and over. And then she stayed with us for a summer actually. And then she would play this song on my Alexa. So for like three months after she was there, when we asked Alexa to play songs, we would like, it would play like this Mexican uptempo music like that.

[70:01]It was so fun. Every time you turn on and be like, yes, let's rock and roll. That was tough. So air in or air out. Has Aaron ever heard of that song before? It's got over a billion YouTube views. It was the most played song on Spotify in 2011. Has Aaron ever heard of it, Matt? I'm going to go with no Rob. Oh, absolutely not. Aaron, have you heard of that song? I have not, but I will be listening to it from now on. So good. Right. It's turned on KDWV. It's pretty popular. So I've gone back and forth, back and forth, but I feel like we got to wrap this up really strong here. And so we're, we're listening to a South African band. And so there's, there's another South African, South African American band that had their parents have ancestry in South Africa and they're famous relatively recently. This is Congo's come with me now. Check out the accordion on this. I don't like the part where they were throwing the barrels. Donkey Congo's. There you go. You know,

[71:00]this one, Matt? No, I don't think so. Their lyrics. What is this? You know, this song. It's like a heavy metal. I thought you guys would know this one. No, no. What is Congo's? I mean, I love the movie, but hated the book. The band actually said, though, they were heavily influenced by quite tone music, which as you guys said earlier, was a blend of South African jazz and Western house music. So I thought that was a pretty cool way to wrap up the list. Oh, that's so great list. Russell, you know, did you ever hear what David Bowie said about accordion playing? No, he said, it ain't squeezy. Oh, you know, we've never been known on this podcast to run a joke all the way into the ground. No, sometimes known as beating a dead horse. We would never do such. No, I'm over here with my copy of Graceland. And I can see that on gumboots, the accordion is credited to John,

[72:02]John and Kalali. And so I wondered about like, okay, so obviously it's a great song. Paul Simon didn't necessarily play the accordion on the song. Do we have, Rob, do we have any songs where the artist, who wrote the song is also playing the accordion? We bring that up. You want me, is that your cue to play it? Can we play Jägermeister pie? Cause you literally just sent me an email with no timestamp, nothing else. It just said this. It didn't even have a subject. Like, like I think it asked you, do you want to add a subject to this email? And you're like, no, just send. So this is the cue. Okay. Okay. I'll edit all that out. Don't worry. Who is this? Who is it? This is Jägermeister pie. Jägermeister pie. Buy back. Oh, Oh, I gotta, I have to be honest. There is some dispute on the internet about whether this is an accordion or a wind organ, but I just have to say, because as far as we know, this is Beck playing Jägermeister pie. When it comes to playing an accordion like instrument on your own album,

[73:03]Rob, who did it better? Yes. Yes. Yes. What was it Aaron? It's either an accordion or what? A wind organ. I don't know. That was my nickname my freshman year of college. I promise baby. The wind organ is fun to play. It's fun. Hey, it can be a wind organ. If you play your cards, where are you going? All right. Where are you going? That's how 99% of my dates ended. Okay. Let's do. Oh no. All the, oh yeah. Diamonds on the soles of her shoes. So I wanted to include the two different bites from this because there's the beginning part where he's, the band that he really did a lot of this with was Lady Smith, Black Mambosa. And so this is actually the last song that they recorded for this album. They actually had the album all ready to go.

[74:00]It was all done. And Lady Smith, Black Mambosa came to play with Paul Simon on Saturday Night Live. And he was like, Hey, if we're in New York, we might as well record another tune. They go into the studio. They do the same thing they did before where he was like, okay, you guys come up with something. And then he came up with the lyrics over the top of it. So this is actually the first time that Lady, Smith, Black Mambosa has ever played, has ever been recorded with an instrument because in the background, they have this Senegalese, uh, uh, you soon to do her. Yeah. Musician. Yeah. To put musician. That's so hard for me to say. I'm on a music podcast for God's sakes. But listen to this. I mean, and I think a lot of people think this is the best song on the album. And it's just a late entry. He makes the shine. This is certainly the most well, this and this. And the next one, probably, but I put this up. Maybe he's more famous than compensate for his call me out. But I don't know. It's certainly a better song. Oh, a way better song.

[75:00]I'm going to do a rap on this song. This song is better than almost any song. Correct. I love this song so much. I would listen to this song every day and twice on Sunday. It's such a good song. It's perfect. It's almost a perfect song. It is. It agreed with me. It makes me think. Maybe I was just wrong. Oh, my God, Rob. I love this song. Hey, hey, Rob, be nice to Matt, too. He agreed with you, too. Okay. Well, no. See, when Matt agrees with me, it's good. When Aaron agrees with me, I think maybe I've made some bad choices in my life. I don't know. But Aaron, I think it was last week. I was setting this up and somebody got on early and they said, hey, if you listen to that 25th anniversary edition of the album, they have that song, but it's just the drums and the bass. It's a different version. Stripped down, right? And you know, this album was big for me. I mean, this is a huge album for me growing up. And it was right around the time where I wanted to learn how to play an instrument. And this is a big reason why I got into playing the bass. I'll talk a little bit about that in the next song.

[76:00]It's a little tease for you guys. Pre-sweater vest or after sweater vest? This is pre-sweater vest because I remember my girlfriend at one time had to help me move my amps around, which was humiliating because I was not in a band. I don't know why I was moving the amps around. You were busy laying on your back, eating a half of bologna sandwich while she was moving it around. Another story of me bringing my bass amps to places where no one was nobody asked me to, there's no band just like a college football that one time. All right. Now for the song that got all the way up to 44 the first time. And then after the video, this was like the beginning of MTV. This is a huge video on MTV. You can call me Al. And this is another song. Yeah. This is another song where he made the video and he hated it so much. And Lorne Michaels like, Hey, you should hang out with Chevy and I and the Hamptons this weekend. And like, Chevy, can you do anything for this Chevy chase? Can you do anything for this video? And Chevy's like, yeah, I'll get in it lip sync and play instruments. And I remember growing up thinking like,

[77:00]Oh, this video is so funny. It's so great. When I watch it now, it's kind of embarrassing that it's like this, you know, it's like this African music, like whole thing. And then it's just Chevy chase, a known racist and Paul Simon, a known ugly person. But it's still fun. I don't want to be a total downer. I think it's fun, but I will say there's a bass solo in this song. Okay. So picture me like in, I don't know what, fifth grade, my parents are paying for me to take bass lessons, which again, I'm in guitar center or whatever with some guy. And he's like, okay, play this boom, boom. And I'm like, he's like, Oh my God, you're the best bass player I've ever heard. No, but listen to this bass solo. This is what wanted, this is what made me want to play the bass. Yes. It sounds like the night court opening or something like that. Doesn't it sound like the night court TV show? Oh yeah, totally. And of course, night court was a huge thing for me. You know, my penis's nickname was bowl. Like, it was not a big deal. But, why am I making so many jokes like that tonight?

[78:00]It's just, it's so gross. But the thing is, yeah, with that fretless bass, like it has that really unique sound. And so I went in, picture me in fifth grade. I go into the bass lesson, never have played bass, never nothing. And he's like, well, what do you want to learn? And I played that. I remember I said, I want to play this. And he was, and he basically was like, Oh, okay. And then it was like, how about this? Boom. And I wanted to play concrete jungle by Bob Marley. And then finally he kind of showed me how to do like a, a blues bass scale, which is all you do. I mean, there's not that much going on in the bass. And then I heard flea and I was like, Oh, I actually suck at the bass. But, um, it turns out that that bass solo is a nasty trick. It's impossible to play it. And you know why? It's a musical palindrome. Paul Simon loved the bass solo so much that he reversed it and put it on the end. So if you listen again, you can hear the bass solo is played once. And then it's the tape is reversed and it's played in reverse at the end. Listen to this right here.

[79:01]So to Paul Simon, I, I give a big fuck you for ruining my whole life. I could have been playing guitar and meeting chicks instead of playing a bass. Do you know what kind of girls are attracted to a bass player? It's not good. Okay. It's not great. Especially a bad bass player. Nobody wants to date a bad bass player. Well, I should return that base. I just bought on Amazon earlier today. Then I thought I would be super cool. Like I would be like, Hey, I'm going to add the guitar to my, my repertoire to meet new women. And it turns out I bought a base. Like what a disaster. Oh yeah. Hey, come on over. I'm going to play you a song. Okay. Pick, pick out with this. This song is bass player here. Looking for a roly poly little bat face girl. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.

[80:00]You stop playing and you're like guitar solo. This is my friend. Talon. He's going to play the guitar while I play the bass over here. Hey, where are you going? All right. Under African sky. Listen to it. I mean the sound on this album. So this song. It's like, is this the one where we like when, when he starts out with Joseph's faces, his black is the night. Are you like, I'm infringing a little bit. And you know, who's singing that pick up that album cover. You nerd. Because that is somebody that is Linda Ronstadt on there. Sing. And that was actually one of the most controversial things he could possibly do on this album because guess where she had played three years earlier, sun city, South Africa, right in the height of this whole thing. And so she was roundly criticized for that. She claimed she didn't know that what was going on. She didn't have time to make a decision. He puts her on this album. She gets blasted even more.

[81:01]Speaking of South Africa, I was wondering where a city boy could go to get a little conversation and drink a little red wine. And so tonight, I went and got some wine called spire 21 Gables Pinotage from South Africa. So I'm drinking a South Africa wine tonight. It is velvety tannins. They give it balance and lead Rob to an opulent and lengthy finish. Oh, finish. All right. Homeless. Not going to lie. Genius was kind of bare on this album, but I don't, I didn't even want to look up anything. I just love these songs. I would sing this song in my car all the time. Oh yeah. And this is, we never heard anything else like this. This is Aaron in that boy choir, right? You just watching those guys like this. What'd you got? No, I was just saying everything on this,

[82:01]everything else in this album has like this tempo and this pace. And it's, it's kind of catchy. They're all almost things you can bop along with. This was the one that kind of jumped out as being a little bit different than a lot of the album to me, but I really enjoyed it. I thought it was bad. That's top senior tracks, right? Yeah. Crazy love. Volume two. Is there a volume one? I'm confused about this one. No, it's because you, it's, it's a little bit louder. Huh? You like that one? That Rob shit. The crazy love was a little bit bigger the second time. So it's volume two. It's weird. Cute. Cute. Sometimes when I hear this album, I think this is the skipper track and then I'm listening to it now and I'm like, well, I love the guitar in here. I love all these songs. This is the part. This is the part you can skip at the end of the song. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Get some of that stuff. This is like a rehash of call me out, but not as good. So then we go all the way from South Africa and those lush African rhythms.

[83:01]And Paul Simon's like, you know what else everyone loves? Zydeco music. We're going to go down to accordion. We're going to go down to New Orleans and we're going to play some Cajun music. And guess what? That was your mother. And this was a band. The band playing on this is a classic Zydeco named band. It's named good rock and dopsy and the twisters. Every band I've ever known that does Zydeco is named like that. Like crazy, hairy, crazy, hairy and the apes. It's like, you know, booty Jordan and the down home mudskippers. It's just interchangeable. It's like three guys playing this music. It's just the same over and over. I don't know what it is, but I love this music. If you said I could take this song or I could take half the songs you've listened to on the first 45 hours, I'm taking this song. Maybe Patti Smith will play this in concert, man. Yeah. Play. That was your mother. There's a poem I wrote about UFOs taking my dad's scrotum.

[84:00]You know, she plays glory. You know, she closes. Does she close or open with Gloria? Do you think? I don't know. You can look that stuff up online now, you know? Oh yeah, that's right. I don't do, do you do that before you go to a concert? Oh yeah. You got to go in with no research. I absolutely. You look at the set list. Uh, yeah. I'll, but I'm more interested in what time the, they actually come on. Dad move. Dad move right there for sure. I want to show. I get home to yell at my kids to run faster in the morning. No. Yeah. And then, you know, we'll just know what time to get out of there. I don't know. Well, if you're downtown Minneapolis and you're like enjoying some potato wedges next door, you don't want to have to like leave your potato wedges behind. Exactly. Yeah. It was not starting yet. That would be way worse. If you were to die at first, dad eating potato wedges in the bathroom, but that would be way worse than bagels at home. Way worse. If that happens, you better put that in my eulogy and on my gravestone died, eating wedges in the bathroom. And then a big picture. Hey, thumbs up. The thumbs up. I'm giving the camera a thumbs up. Extravagant. Yeah. You don't want to get to a concert. Seeing an opening band. I still remember when third eye blind opened up for Rolling Stones.

[85:01]They got booed off in like two minutes. It was so funny, but you don't want to go and see the big James and the squiggly slugs playing this Zydeco music. You know, I will say though, shout out to my mom. I don't think I give my mom enough credit when she would go on trips for work or whatever. She would always try to buy a CD if she went somewhere and she came home from a trip to New Orleans with a Zydeco CD that I used to play all the time. That's a, and there's the song that played it. All the songs are so fun. And like the same super fast rhythm. I loved it. So tonight I was like, Oh, I told my Alexa, play, um, play Zydeco music. And so it did this Cajun mix. And the first version was the original Colin Batten Rouge. The guy who wrote it, I think, or Garth Brooks. Oh, it was one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life. I took, I asked who was playing it because it sounded so bad. So now he's that good. Paul Simon, a little bit of hot. Water going over South Africa, stealing music for this song. He calls in the hit band. Los Lobos.

[86:00]Can I stop? I got a question. I know we normally don't go this route, but he's, he's hiring musicians to play. What makes this stealing music versus sampling or what? Why, why is this criticized as being stealing? We can, we can delete it. I just, I'm curious. Why did, why is this stealing music? I think he generally, you know, Russell, as you're to the question, you're asking about the music and the musicians. It seems like he, he kind of did it right in terms of giving them credit. You know, they're all over the liner notes and he writes a whole story on the back of the album about giving them credit, but the album is still called Paul Simon Graceland. Like, you know, he could have called it anything you wanted. He could have formed a new band and called, he could have called it the, the Boyonga boys. Right. And joined the, joined that band. So I think he, he took good steps toward crediting the artists, but it still has his name front and center. You know, it's all words and music by Paul Simon on every track,

[87:00]which means any royalties, like he's getting those, like, wasn't no time. Did Paul Simon stand up and say, Hey, apartheid is really bad. Like I've been over there. I paid musicians to come in and play. They had to leave by dark time by night because they didn't want to be out past curfew. Cause they couldn't be because they're black in the country. Like at no point was he like, this is actually really, really bad. I think that if you would have done something like that, people would have been a little bit more appreciative of like, Hey, I've been there. I've seen it. I, it was terrible. So then on this last song, he invites Los Lobos to come play with him. They jam for two days. Cause he didn't write any music, right? Los Lobos is playing a song. Paul Simon goes, Hey, what's that song? I really like it. They play it. And he's like, Oh, great. Okay, sweet. We're going to split writing credit on this song. It's going to be great. So that was all around the world. Well, the album comes out. Guess who doesn't get any writing credit? We're doing music by Paul Simon, right? Yeah. Los Lobos gets no credit. And afterwards they, they told him and his response was fucking, sue me, see what happens. That's what he's quoted as saying. I don't know how to feel now.

[88:05]I feel like I'm not allowed to like this album anymore. I, I don't know. I think it's still great music. I still love this album. And I think in as overall different kinds of music getting into it, it's huge. Russell, you have to understand who I am. I love taking things. This is my, one of my favorite albums of all time. I'm fascinated by what you guys think of this album. I can't wait to hear your rolling, whatever the dumb ranking system is, but I love, I love to tear things down that people love. That's, you know, I liked you. I've told you my Kirby pocket Twitter stories. I just, I cannot get enough of it. It is so good to me. So I love this album, but there's no doubt that Paul Simon could have handled it better. And I love tearing down Paul Simon. And guess what? I'm a big art Garfunkel fan. Okay. That's why I'm doing it. This whole thing. I think he's the best. I love him. Art and I have always been close. Yeah, exactly. Uh, all right, let's get into rolling going. I think it's perfectly okay for you to love this album. Russell, I'm a negative Nelly and I'm running the show. So sorry. It's time to see what everybody's up to.

[89:02]This is a legit top two album for me. What's the other one? I'm going to have to go with the Bob Marley one. That's coming up. Ah, there we go. I love that one too. This is, this is why I know nothing about like popular music or people. It's because I was listening to these albums. All right. Uh, rolling, going, Matt, rolling, rolling, going now. God damn it. What am I doing? Well, Hey Matt, that's great. Cause you didn't get to finish your list anyway. I know how to operate a sprinkler better. There's ways to move it back and forth. Plug in the hose. You can, you can, uh, you can figure out how much pressure you want out too. So you can lengthen the stream and shorten the stream. So, and then when your neighbors and white shirts walk by, you turn it on. Oh yeah. All right. The mill flunter has conquered his prey. Matt, what do you think? We have a ranking system here, Matt. It is a rolling well-toned.

[90:01]That means that this album is perfect at 46. Oh, we love it. Is this album a rolling bone? This album should not, uh, be this high. It should be a lower number, which in this case is good. It's like golf. We want to get a lower score. That is a good thing for these albums. Everybody knows that if your album 500 junk, okay. Album one. Good. Just like golf. I golfed a 500 once. Not a big deal. Not don't want to break. Uh, or is this a rolling groan? Okay. Does nobody like this album or no, does, did you not like this album? And it should be not at 46. This is a rolling. Matt, what do you think? I think it's rolling boned. I think it's a, uh, a musical masterpiece. I think the, the musicality behind it is awesome. Uh, the sound, like you said, the quality awesome. So I think it's rolling bone. It got rolling boned. It's another album. That sounds, super good. I love the good sounding albums. It's so fun. Uh,

[91:00]Aaron, what do you think? Yeah, I can't disagree with Matt or with you, Rob. I think this is a great album. This is definitely one that I will be listening to for the rest of my life. Um, I, I hadn't listened to it for quite a while before we were, uh, doing the show, but I love it. I love all of the sounds that he's bringing together and it's complicated. He really, he clearly thought this through. He respected these artists, uh, for me, musically, I would call it a rolling. I think it musically is, is better than some things we've heard, but given the political considerations we've, uh, talked about that knocks it back down to me for rolling well-toned. All right, good. I'm glad that my negativity has gotten ahold of you, Aaron. Nobody can escape. Russell, what do you think? Rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown? I think it's hard to it, to put into perspective all the, I don't know if you'd call it political, cultural things that were going on at the time when he made this album. It's hard for,

[92:00]for me to listen to it and have a full appreciation for that. I'm trying to listen to it now and just say, do I love the music or do I not love the music? And so for me, this was a super catchy album. I loved almost every song. I would be hard pressed to find a song where I said this song was weak or I didn't like this song. And we've gone through so many albums where there, I just wasn't into a lot of it. So for me, I could listen to this over and over. I think it's rolling bone. It should be higher on the list. This album. I love this album. I can't get enough. I love this album. I was excited to listen to it. I was happy to listen to it all week. And it corresponded with the end of the school year, which just fit my mood perfectly. Imagine walking out of your job for three months, not having to come back with this album playing in the background. It's sweet. And then you go home and eat like 30 hot dogs. Like my best bud, Slimer. This gets a rolling recognition. Listen. Yeah, he did some shitty stuff. He probably should have gone about it differently, but there's no doubt that this opened up people's ears like crazy to a whole different world of music, whether it's Zydeco, or Lady Smith,

[93:01]Black Mambosa, or anything. I think anytime you can get out and not just hear, I mean, you compare this to like a bridge over troubled water, which Russell listened to for about half the week. There's no doubt that this album is unbelievable mixture. He's so incredibly talented. I just, I cannot say this. This should be, this album should be in a top five in my mind. Easy. No problem. Guys, next week. Okay. We have got, we have got an album that has zero guitar solos and costs. $600 to make. And most of that $600 was spent at Wilson's leather. Wilson's leather is our sponsor tonight, guys. I didn't mention this till the end. It seems like the worst time to maybe put in a commercial Wilson's leather. And they gave me some stuff to read here. Do you like, do you want a strap to whip that ass? Get one at Wilson's leather leather. That's so good. It'll make the Ramones Ramone. Oh, the Ramones. That'll be awesome. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time. But you're just, just to look it up online.

[94:03]Hey Johnny, if you want to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track. I've got the perfect podcast for you. Jack Beck did it better. You guys think going out in the bathroom with the bagel is better or worse. If you're using honey, walnut cream cheese. Wait, that's not honey. Walnut cream cheese. I mean, a lot of people are allergic to walnuts, so that could be the answer. Oh my God. Aaron would cancel me post death of my bathroom with a bagel. That's terrible. I love that.