The Pervert Hour at Pervert Corner

[00:00]The weekend I had last weekend, I am toast.

[00:04]Not this time.

[00:05]I am toast.

[00:06]Jenny's been pissed at me since Monday.

[00:09]Get me out of here.

[00:12]I'm ready when you are.

[00:15]Rob's right.

[00:16]Yeah, man, I am ready.

[00:20]Rob's right.

[00:21]I had a problem at the zoo that ended in tears.

[00:25]I don't know why.

[00:26]That's how it goes.

[00:27]Oh, too much fun.

[00:28]Yeah.

[00:29]Meltdown.

[00:29]No.

[00:30]That's the way it is.

[00:30]Mom and dad said yes to churro.

[00:32]Here's your reward.

[00:34]See, that's the thing is people always act like they always say, like, why are parents

[00:36]so stressed?

[00:37]Like when the kids are running at full speed and seeming to be having fun.

[00:39]And that's because every time something bad happens, it's after maximum fun.

[00:45]So as soon as you see maximum fun being approached, you're like, we cannot do this.

[00:48]Now, listen, the crash is coming.

[00:50]Let's clap real quick.

[00:51]Ready?

[00:51]All right.

[00:52]Yep.

[00:52]Oh, God.

[00:53]Who's going to say it?

[00:54]We both looked at each other like the other.

[00:55]We're looking for that.

[00:57]This is sick.

[00:57]This is like, you know what this is like, Aaron?

[00:59]It's like.

[00:59]It's like you and I are like, I don't know, like, like our wives are friends, but then

[01:04]we sleep with each other, too.

[01:06]You know what I mean?

[01:07]Like behind their back.

[01:07]Yeah.

[01:08]Like, we're kind of like, well, we're here.

[01:09]It's the first time.

[01:09]We're here.

[01:10]Yeah.

[01:10]We could hang out or we could just, yeah.

[01:14]We could just get to it.

[01:15]We can fucking suck, too.

[01:16]All right.

[01:17]It'd be weird if a dad's night happened that way.

[01:19]All right.

[01:19]Here we go.

[01:19]One.

[01:20]Oh, man.

[01:22]It's good to be away from the wife of kids.

[01:23]Well.

[01:24]Hey, you want to.

[01:26]You want to give me some dome or what?

[01:29]Hey, you want to watch the Tyson fight and maybe jerk each other off?

[01:33]Yeah.

[01:33]Oh, no.

[01:34]This is not.

[01:34]Oh, it's just the computers.

[01:37]I can't believe their servers aren't better.

[01:38]Well, I don't know what else to do.

[01:40]Here we go.

[01:42]Ready?

[01:42]All right.

[01:43]On three.

[01:44]We're going to do it.

[01:45]No, we'll do it on four.

[01:46]All right.

[01:47]Ready?

[01:47]One, two, three, four.

[01:49]So, oh, Aaron was so far behind.

[01:52]So, here's the deal.

[01:53]Aaron had to miss part of the last episode.

[01:56]So, on the episode, I said, I'm going to do a

[01:59]makeup episode with Aaron to show him the rolling going of mine that you missed and

[02:05]the list that you missed.

[02:06]I thought you would enjoy both.

[02:07]And now, I have to admit, on the episode, they didn't really say yes to that idea, but

[02:12]they did not say no.

[02:13]Weird.

[02:13]Okay.

[02:14]So, Russ and Matt do not know this episode is coming out, but this is a Rob and Aaron

[02:18]unedited special.

[02:21]Okay.

[02:21]Off the cuff.

[02:22]So, we're already not, you know, the prudes aren't here.

[02:25]Okay.

[02:26]This isn't your mom and dad's podcast.

[02:29]Nobody's here to tell us.

[02:30]Unless you're our kids.

[02:30]To rein it in.

[02:31]You know what?

[02:32]If you're my kids, this is your dad's, your daddy's podcast.

[02:34]So, but guess what?

[02:37]If you have a podcast that's worse than daddy's podcast, by the way, daddy's podcast, write

[02:42]that down.

[02:43]That's a great idea for a title.

[02:44]If you have one that's worse than your dad and you're my kids, you should go to jail.

[02:48]You're going to jail.

[02:49]You're at the hag.

[02:50]All right.

[02:51]You've done it.

[02:52]Made it as far as the end.

[02:53]I do just want to add, because Matt's not here.

[02:56]Matt would have added.

[02:57]I missed this.

[02:59]I missed this part of the podcast because I was babysitting.

[03:01]Yes, you were babysitting.

[03:02]So, I wanted to make it up to him.

[03:04]And I think it's, you know, Russ is probably going to be pissed about this, but he's not

[03:08]going to listen anyway.

[03:09]But this is going to come out the Tuesday we are flying back from Vegas.

[03:11]So, sorry for the short episode, but that's the way it is.

[03:14]So, Aaron is so sweet to agree to do this.

[03:17]Let's get this.

[03:19]Russ is very sweet to stay up late with me.

[03:21]So, we're all, everyone's sweet.

[03:22]Listen, I am so excited.

[03:23]I cannot wait for Vegas tomorrow.

[03:25]Oh my God.

[03:26]It's going to be so great.

[03:27]I've got all my funny shirts.

[03:29]I'm going to see you so soon.

[03:30]I've got the, I made the THX noise when I come shirt.

[03:33]I've got the MasterCard sex parody shirt ready to go.

[03:37]I've got the stick figure shirt where it says you and me and one has a large dong.

[03:41]They're all ready to go.

[03:43]And I've got the shirt that I showed Russell I was going to buy off Instagram and I did.

[03:47]So, he's going to see that too.

[03:48]All right.

[03:49]I just got down to $6 on my Craps app.

[03:52]So, Craps is going great.

[03:53]Not me.

[03:54]I'm up times five.

[03:55]I got the perfect system, Aaron.

[03:56]You hang out with me.

[03:57]We got it.

[03:57]I'm up times five.

[03:57]Okay, Aaron.

[03:59]I'm up times two, but now I'm down.

[04:00]Right now, I'm just going to tell you, here's my prediction for the end of the trip.

[04:03]Up $300.

[04:05]That's my prediction for me.

[04:07]Oh, I like it.

[04:08]Overall.

[04:08]I've never finished a trip up.

[04:10]Across all media.

[04:12]Jenny today was like, why have you been taking so much cash out of the ATM the last couple

[04:18]days?

[04:19]And I go, are you serious?

[04:21]She's like, yeah.

[04:22]I said, you need cash in Vegas.

[04:24]She said, how much are you going to gamble?

[04:26]And so, I just cut it by half.

[04:27]Whatever the correct answer was, I cut it by half.

[04:29]I cut it by half.

[04:29]And she's like, okay.

[04:30]And I was like, hey, I just lied to you.

[04:33]It's double what I said.

[04:35]But it doesn't matter because I'm actually going to make money.

[04:37]You bring it.

[04:38]You know what you do, Aaron?

[04:38]No matter what, you come back.

[04:40]You give each kid $60.

[04:42]You give the wife $200.

[04:44]Even if you had to desperately take that out of the ATM at the New York airport on your

[04:49]way home.

[04:49]You give that to them and be like, that's a little treat from daddy.

[04:54]A little treat from daddy for the ladies.

[04:57]All right.

[04:57]I'm just going to bring a little something home.

[04:59]I'm just going to bring a little something home.

[04:59]Yeah, exactly.

[05:00]Okay.

[05:00]And another thing home.

[05:02]Hello, hello.

[05:03]Another thing home that I had to get medicine for.

[05:05]Oh.

[05:07]The doctor says it's a cream.

[05:09]Okay.

[05:10]But I don't need a very long applicator stick.

[05:13]All right.

[05:14]Let's get into Aaron and I's new podcast that we're trying out to catch Aaron up on the

[05:18]stuff he missed.

[05:19]The ketchup.

[05:20]Aaron, do you think I wrote a theme song for this?

[05:22]Do you think I put quite a bit of effort into this, actually?

[05:24]You know I did.

[05:25]I think you actually did.

[05:25]Let's go.

[05:26]I'm sure you did.

[05:26]You did not attempt to adjust your podcast player.

[05:29]We can pull the 50-second skips.

[05:32]This is a very special episode.

[05:35]Wow.

[05:40]Today it's just Aaron and me.

[05:43]The last episode he left a bit.

[05:44]So I called him and said, you and I should redo it.

[05:48]Aaron said it sounds fun.

[05:49]You know that I am into it.

[05:51]So all this stuff he missed.

[05:52]Well, we will now review it.

[05:54]So welcome to the pervert hour.

[05:57]Talk about sex.

[05:58]Talk about sex.

[05:58]Talk about sex.

[05:58]battery power.

[06:00]Russell and Matt only talk about your

[06:03]power, so Aaron and I now

[06:05]have the pervert hour.

[06:06]Oh, yes. I'm here for it.

[06:09]This is the pervert hour

[06:10]with Rob and Aaron.

[06:12]Pervs only.

[06:14]Listen, welcome to pervert

[06:17]corner. Okay, this is the pervert hour

[06:19]with Rob and Aaron.

[06:20]Hello to all those perverts out there. Aaron, do you have anything

[06:23]you want to say?

[06:23]I'm happy that all these perverts are joining us.

[06:27]Aaron's one of the number one perverts out there.

[06:29]That's why this is pervert hour.

[06:31]We're going to be talking about perverted stuff.

[06:33]First, though, we do have a voicemail.

[06:35]Let's get into a voicemail that's so perverted

[06:37]I have to play it on this show. I can't play it on the regular show.

[06:40]Oh, wow.

[06:40]Hey, Rob. It's your cousin Emerson.

[06:43]I'm here with my eldest daughter,

[06:45]who's also a St. Ola

[06:47]student.

[06:48]They were enjoying the hot tub right now

[06:51]at your Uncle Mark's house.

[06:53]Overlooking the little pond out front.

[06:56]And just really enjoying

[06:58]ourselves outdoors. Oh, sorry, I got to put my pinky

[07:00]down. Whoops.

[07:00]Anyway, Rob, just wanted to say

[07:03]in light of your recent hamstring

[07:06]injury, I feel kind of bad

[07:08]for the smelling salts industry because now

[07:10]they have to add another paragraph to their warning

[07:12]label. Toodle-oo!

[07:14]See you later.

[07:15]So, I have recovered.

[07:17]That's pretty good. That's a good bit.

[07:20]In case you just started listening, I did

[07:22]injure my hamstring deadlifting

[07:24]after I was having sex and got a

[07:26]hamstring injury.

[07:26]I got a hamstring injury after I was having sex and got a hamstring injury.

[07:26]I got a hamstring injury after I was having sex and got a hamstring injury.

[07:26]I got a hamstring injury after I was having sex and got a hamstring injury.

[07:26]I got a hamstring cramp.

[07:27]And that story, realizing I told it on the

[07:30]podcast, made it very awkward to go home

[07:31]for the holidays because I know my mother

[07:33]and my mother-in-law are with your wife.

[07:35]So, I was kind of complaining about my back injury

[07:37]and then I looked skew at my mother-in-law

[07:40]and felt awkward about that.

[07:41]But it would be funny if on the smelling salts

[07:44]it said, do not use this

[07:45]if you just had sex and you could

[07:47]be cramped up.

[07:48]Do they cause cramping? Is that true? No.

[07:51]Smelling salts? No. I guess they're salty.

[07:53]I actually, I thought of you yesterday,

[07:55]Rob, because I was doing

[07:57]jerks and I felt a pop in my

[07:59]adductor and so I hurt my adductor doing

[08:01]jerks. I just realized

[08:03]I should have made a second pervert

[08:05]hour sting.

[08:06]If I was going to do this, I'd go back and give another

[08:09]little pervert hour sting that I could play.

[08:11]I was really worried. I was like, is we putting

[08:13]20,000, 25,000 steps a day when we're in Las

[08:15]Vegas? But I'm doing better today. I got some ice

[08:17]on. I'm doing okay. But no more jerks for a while.

[08:19]I'm too old for that. Can you believe we are going out to

[08:21]Vegas? We got a weather report that

[08:23]knocked my socks off, right?

[08:25]So it looks like it's going to be like

[08:27]31 there. I was like, what is

[08:29]going on? I need to bring a hat. Do I

[08:31]need to bring gloves to Vegas?

[08:33]I'm thinking about gloves too. I'm trying to think about

[08:35]how many layers I'm going to need. That's

[08:37]crazy. That's crazy cold.

[08:39]I'm cold even thinking about that. Vegas should be

[08:41]warm and fun. Okay.

[08:43]Just imagine, just picture this right now. Okay.

[08:45]This is a perfect way to get in a perfect corner.

[08:47]Imagine going to

[08:49]a strip club while it's

[08:51]cold out. What?

[08:53]You're going to a strip club when it's cold

[08:55]out?

[08:55]That would be... I'll tell you

[08:57]what. Strip clubs are in Atlanta. You know why?

[08:59]Because it's warm. Because when it's

[09:01]warm, that's when you go into a strip club. You're not

[09:03]going to a strip club on a cold day.

[09:05]No. That's why

[09:07]are there any strip clubs in Alaska?

[09:09]Actually, Aaron? Probably.

[09:11]That sounds kind of fun. Going up to Alaska

[09:13]just like Johnny Horton.

[09:15]I'm going north to

[09:17]Alaska. Who's Johnny Horton?

[09:18]Doing some ice fishing

[09:20]and then staying warm

[09:23]in the strip club right after. And can you

[09:25]imagine? Can you imagine what the

[09:27]strippers in Alaska look like?

[09:29]Wow. It'd be crazy.

[09:30]Now listen. We've made

[09:33]a huge mistake. Man, rush a beer. This is a disaster.

[09:35]We're bombing. Of course I'm listening.

[09:37]Okay. I hate to say it, but it's true. We're bombing

[09:39]and I'm not editing any of this out. Already?

[09:41]Yep. We're bombing already. So you

[09:43]know what? It's time to do it again. I did my jerk's joke.

[09:45]I liked it. I liked it.

[09:47]I had cramps coming back from

[09:49]jujitsu on the train the other

[09:51]day so bad that my hands cramped up and I had to

[09:53]reach with my other hand and peel it

[09:55]back. Oh.

[09:56]Everybody on the train scooted away from me

[09:59]when I was doing that. I was looking like

[10:01]I was just, like I was so high

[10:03]I was just discovering my own hands. It's like a villain origin

[10:05]story out of the, yeah. It was crazy.

[10:07]It's so bad. Listen, let's get

[10:09]into the

[10:11]pervert corner. And Aaron, for pervert

[10:13]corner, we are just going to talk about my

[10:15]rolling going from the last episode.

[10:17]Okay? Which I alluded to a number of times.

[10:19]Yeah, I know a little bit about

[10:21]this maybe. So let's find

[10:23]where that would be right

[10:25]now. Aaron, oh, by

[10:27]the way, I should say this. I should say this. I've got

[10:29]Aaron out in California. This is so rude. I'm Rob.

[10:31]I'm in New York. I've got Aaron out in California.

[10:33]Aaron, now, I got a question for

[10:35]you. If a woman

[10:37]asked you for help, what would you say?

[10:39]Yes. Aaron, I would listen.

[10:43]Okay? So you want

[10:45]to think about that.

[10:46]Aaron, how are you doing today, by the way?

[10:49]Before we start pervert corner, why did you

[10:51]agree to do this with me? You know everybody's going to

[10:53]be mad, right? Because

[10:55]it's important.

[10:57]You reached out.

[10:58]I knew you had a plan. I knew you

[11:01]needed to execute. And when Rob has a plan,

[11:03]somebody's got to be there to follow through. And

[11:05]even as

[11:06]controversial as the Rob and John show

[11:09]was, it did bring us to another certain

[11:11]level of togetherness. And we will have that

[11:13]to discuss the next time we're together. So I'm

[11:15]here for it. And I think we're going to do

[11:17]beautiful, magical things together over the next

[11:19]15 minutes in the pervert corner. It's true.

[11:21]It's kind of like how watching

[11:23]Oh, never mind.

[11:25]Never mind. That's too far from me. Okay. So I just

[11:27]realized I'm not editing it.

[11:28]He just pre-edited himself.

[11:31]I'm like, can I bring that in? Hey, you know what?

[11:33]I'm really proud of myself there. Good job, Rob.

[11:35]Okay. Give myself a little pat on the back.

[11:36]Listen.

[11:38]Okay. I had two different plans

[11:41]for this episode. One is that I bring in

[11:43]Matt and Russ like a

[11:45]Royal Rumble.

[11:46]Where like every five minutes, one of those guys would

[11:49]show up. You know, like we'd hear the Undertaker's

[11:51]music. And it just gets better and funnier. Yeah.

[11:52]We hear the Undertaker's music and Russ like,

[11:55]rises up. And then the other plan

[11:57]was right at the end of this episode, I called

[11:59]John and you log off

[12:01]and then he logs in and I do a secret

[12:03]Rob and John show episode.

[12:04]Oh, that would be diabolical.

[12:06]That's the Paul Bearer version. That would be absolutely

[12:09]diabolical. I was too lazy to do

[12:11]either though. So what we're going to do right now is let's get

[12:13]into my list that I had

[12:15]on the last episode. Now, Aaron,

[12:16]I did miss the list entirely. Yeah.

[12:19]I'm excited to hear this. You totally missed the list. We

[12:21]talked about CES was going on to Las Vegas

[12:23]last week. CES. Now,

[12:25]what is CES? It's the Consumer

[12:27]Electronics Show. It's where

[12:29]a bunch of companies are going out and they are

[12:31]showing their products that are going to come out in the next

[12:33]year or two. So it's like super futuristic

[12:35]stuff. And starting in

[12:37]not just a sex show.

[12:38]No, starting in

[12:40]2019 or

[12:41]2019 or something or was the first

[12:44]year they started having sex products. It was actually

[12:46]very controversial whether CES

[12:48]was going to feature sex products. You would guess

[12:50]would you guess that I follow on closely

[12:52]with that news just because I was interested in what was

[12:54]going on? I

[12:55]would guess you're reading. I

[12:57]love new sex

[12:59]products. I'm telling you,

[13:00]I love the idea of new sex products like

[13:03]the idea of there's somebody at a company being like, OK,

[13:05]we've got vibrators that go

[13:07]buzz buzz. What if

[13:09]there is something on there that also spins around

[13:11]like a finger stirring, you know,

[13:13]soup or whatever. Right. And then somebody's like,

[13:15]yeah, are these people

[13:17]bored in their own life or are they like,

[13:19]well, I'm totally fulfilled, but I'm someone else

[13:21]might not be or how's that work? Right. How do you

[13:23]how do you become the inventor of

[13:25]a sex product? You know what the new vibe, you know

[13:27]what the new women's vibrator is?

[13:28]It's like a sucking thing.

[13:30]That's what's popular now. So some guy

[13:33]was not just like, we need the buzz. We need the

[13:35]rotation. Let's put some beads in there

[13:37]and spin it around or whatever.

[13:38]What I heard. I mean, anything I saw

[13:41]on sex in the city, I think.

[13:42]But then somebody was like,

[13:45]hey, we should make one that just sucks.

[13:47]And some guy was like, damn, it's like

[13:48]it's on the whiteboard just as sucks. It's circled

[13:51]like starred like it did it.

[13:53]I love I love those. I mean,

[13:55]those sex. And it turns out today you're going to see

[13:57]some sex toys from those inventors

[13:59]hard at work.

[14:00]I mean, the best that America has to offer

[14:02]is you hear my pun there, by the way,

[14:04]hard at work. Well, got

[14:07]it now. Sometimes the listeners

[14:09]might be laughing, even if I'm not.

[14:10]Thank goodness we have the soulless

[14:13]pro now the soulless pro.

[14:14]Okay. This is the what

[14:17]I showed the other guys. Okay. And I just

[14:19]spilled some diet on my keyboard. So I hope

[14:21]this works out. We're having another

[14:23]diet coke at midnight. How are you going to

[14:24]go to bed?

[14:25]Yeah, we're getting started early with Vegas

[14:29]baby. First, I'm doing this

[14:31]with you that I'm betting on Chinese basketball.

[14:32]Here's the deal.

[14:35]Okay.

[14:36]This is the soulless pro. If you people

[14:38]want to look it up. This is

[14:40]what I think is the funniest part of

[14:42]the sex toy space,

[14:44]which is the male masturbators

[14:46]something that even

[14:48]guys

[14:49]think is perverted. You

[14:52]know what I mean? Like, yeah, like if you

[14:54]bought one and listen, this

[14:56]is not, I'll tell you right now. Okay.

[14:58]This is not, we are not a kink shaming podcast.

[15:00]Okay. We are not.

[15:02]You want to do some kinky stuff with consenting

[15:04]adults. That's fine.

[15:06]But all my friends out there, let me tell you this right now.

[15:08]If you own a male masturbator.

[15:10]Okay. Do not

[15:12]tell me. I don't want

[15:14]to know. Now you would think I'm a guy that might want to know.

[15:16]I don't even guys think the male

[15:18]masturbating guys are weird.

[15:19]Yeah, we did buy a must have

[15:22]been. Yeah, we had. Well, I think we've talked about this.

[15:24]Gentleman before on the podcast, our friend from

[15:26]Jefferson City, Missouri, who was

[15:28]17 when he started at St. Olaf

[15:30]when he turned 18, just like that

[15:32]flashlight, just like that winger song.

[15:33]No, who is that? She's only

[15:36]he was only 17.

[15:38]I edited

[15:40]18 a life to go by Skid Row

[15:42]when he turned 18.

[15:44]We bought him a flashlight and then

[15:46]I'm fairly certain

[15:48]that he announced that he was going to go and

[15:50]try it. Like, I think it was like the whole

[15:52]you know, like you have that joke about like, you know, when your

[15:54]friends are having sex on vacation together, like

[15:56]everybody knew when Jeff from Jefferson City

[15:58]is going to town with his flashlight.

[16:00]That's the only person I've ever known who's

[16:02]had a male masturbator. And he

[16:04]also gave us then like a very

[16:06]sort of plain

[16:11]review of it. Like, well,

[16:14]it was this, but I probably thought you're going to say

[16:16]he definitely gave us the. Oh, never

[16:18]mind. Forget what I was going to say.

[16:19]Rob, you're self editing. There's

[16:22]no editing. You know what? Crazy. You know what?

[16:24]This joke is too good. I'm going to text it to you in the

[16:26]chat. Just wait a second. Just let it

[16:28]fly. I thought he was

[16:30]going to give

[16:32]you a plane

[16:34]and then look at this word, Aaron.

[16:35]Don't eat

[16:40]that. Oh,

[16:42]listen, you can figure out

[16:46]what the one word is that I didn't say.

[16:47]You're going to get a great job.

[16:49]You are an A plus

[16:52]listener. You got that one.

[16:54]John, for me, I don't get it.

[16:55]So now I got to ask

[16:58]you, Aaron, why did

[17:00]a bunch of guys, this kind of goes

[17:02]back to my thing. Why would a bunch of guys

[17:03]buy a fleshlight for one

[17:05]of their fellow? Was this a pod mate or

[17:07]floor? Yeah, he was

[17:09]on the same floor. He was turning 18 in

[17:11]April of our freshman year of college, which just

[17:13]seemed so weird to us. Just like

[17:15]bizarre. He graduated high school

[17:17]early and it seems so odd.

[17:19]And so I think he was the baby of the

[17:21]family kind of thing or whatever. So it's not.

[17:23]Oh, little Jeff. He's turning 18. Let me

[17:25]guess. Was the guy odd?

[17:27]I mean, objectively, was he

[17:29]odd? Yeah, of course he was. Yeah, absolutely.

[17:31]Nobody did. I think he

[17:33]did, I think, have a little dalliance with

[17:35]our friend Elizabeth Holmes. Well, not

[17:37]friend, enemy of the pod.

[17:38]I think they got together for a while.

[17:41]Wow, that is. You know what? If

[17:43]you want us to delete this part of the episode.

[17:45]Freshman year, second floor killed all

[17:47]rabbit holes right now. Things are really

[17:49]taking a turn. If you want us to delete this

[17:51]part, you need to send Aaron a free copy of

[17:53]the book, which he has been demanding for quite some

[17:55]time. This is it. Yeah, we can.

[17:57]We've got her. We've got her. Yeah, now

[17:59]we've got her. Let me. So no, I

[18:01]can I tell you what phrase has never been uttered before?

[18:03]I got knocked up by that guy

[18:05]who graduated high school one year early.

[18:07]You know what I mean? Like that

[18:08]safe sex has never been a problem for the

[18:11]graduating one year early from high school guys.

[18:13]Can you imagine like being like

[18:15]man high school?

[18:17]My senior year of high school is probably really going to suck.

[18:19]I better get out of here. Yeah, I

[18:21]gotta go. Yeah,

[18:23]right.

[18:23]Let me graduate early. Yeah. Now listen,

[18:27]is me talking about how great my senior year of high

[18:29]school ultimately sad when you really think about

[18:31]it? No, I mean

[18:33]on a long enough timeline, everything is sad.

[18:35]I was on homecoming court.

[18:37]The big deal. And I was at a big school. It's a

[18:41]real school. Okay. I mean, it had

[18:43]AP classes and shit, right?

[18:45]It sounds like mayonnaise. If you say it

[18:47]now, I didn't win.

[18:48]Okay, because I did. That's even

[18:51]better. That's actually even better.

[18:53]Then you were on the court.

[18:54]That's true. That's a great point. That's a great

[18:57]point. I think so. It's good. It's actually

[18:59]good. I didn't win, dad.

[19:00]Okay, stop bringing

[19:03]it up every time I come home.

[19:04]Maybe you can take down

[19:07]the second place at homecoming

[19:09]King voting banner that you

[19:11]have in my room. Yeah, dad.

[19:12]Sorry. I wasn't a soldier like you.

[19:14]Yeah, I'm sorry. I got second place at homecoming.

[19:17]You can

[19:20]remove their voting results from

[19:22]the screen saver on the

[19:24]Apple 2E downstairs.

[19:27]I don't know.

[19:27]Are we bombing again? No.

[19:30]Okay, the thought of my dad getting mad

[19:32]at me for second place at homecoming court.

[19:34]Now,

[19:36]let's get into this. Okay.

[19:38]Male masturbator. Back to the male masturbator. This is

[19:41]the LoveSense

[19:43]Solus Pro. Now, this is

[19:44]the Pro. To me, is this like an

[19:46]iPhone where if you get the Pro, it's a slightly bigger version?

[19:49]Okay.

[19:50]Look at the size of this.

[19:52]The size of this thing. So, first of all, Aaron, can you describe

[19:54]this to our audience that don't want to look this up

[19:56]right now? Yeah, I mean, it looks

[19:58]like a telescope with a

[20:00]blob of

[20:01]Play-Doh on the top. Yep.

[20:04]And then there seem

[20:06]to be some controls on the side. Watch

[20:08]this now. Not necessarily something

[20:10]for me, but it could be for you.

[20:12]This is the Solus Pro. It's an AI

[20:14]powered remote control male

[20:16]masturbator. Okay, so let's

[20:18]break that down. It kind of looks like

[20:19]it kind of looks like something that Bruce Willis

[20:22]and Ben Affleck might have taken to

[20:24]blow up an asteroid, but

[20:26]it's a close-up, so I can't, you know, but it's like

[20:28]if it were life-size, like, you know,

[20:30]1,000 times bigger. I don't want to close my eyes.

[20:32]I don't want to fall asleep.

[20:34]I still love you, babe. Hey, you know what?

[20:36]I know we're supposed to blow up this asteroid, but

[20:38]what if we just hop over

[20:40]here and... What if I stuck my dong

[20:42]in this thing? Right? Yeah.

[20:44]I mean, I think about that movie, but the problem for me

[20:46]is, like, I think about Armageddon more often

[20:48]than the average person, so someone helps you

[20:50]make that connection.

[20:52]When you're lasting too long in bed, you think

[20:54]about Armageddon.

[20:54]He was so brave.

[20:57]He was so brave.

[21:00]It's just Bruce Willis, the

[21:02]thing is closing, and he's going

[21:04]straight, oh, God, every time.

[21:06]That's it. You see him try to stick his wiener right in the

[21:08]closing door. I know.

[21:09]That's a different part of this joke.

[21:11]We're fine. All right, so

[21:14]now let's break it down. They said it was an

[21:16]AI-powered,

[21:16]remote-controlled

[21:18]male masturbator. Now, when I think of AI,

[21:22]I would think of, aye, aye, aye,

[21:24]this feels good.

[21:25]Yeah, well, how is it AI-powered?

[21:27]You've got to tell Chad GPT, like, turn on

[21:30]the Jacker. Turn on the Solus Pro.

[21:32]You know what I mean? I don't know.

[21:33]There's still

[21:36]some kind of power source, right? There's a battery, or it's

[21:38]plugged in, or, like, I can't tell what the hell's going on.

[21:39]It's plugged in, right? It's actually USB-C.

[21:41]I already know this song.

[21:43]It is not waterproof,

[21:45]but it is water-resistant, so don't

[21:48]take it in the hot tub with you. Now, look at

[21:50]those stats. Oh, geez.

[21:51]You just stopped right on the labial shot.

[21:53]You just saw right the hole on the top, and I got to say

[21:56]this, Aaron, and I said it last time.

[21:57]I think with all these devices, and I'm not

[22:00]bragging, the hole looks too small.

[22:02]Like, I think it's, it's, the hole

[22:04]is too small. It should be bigger. Like, I would be

[22:05]scared to stick it into that, you know what I

[22:08]mean? Is it, but, is that where

[22:10]you stick it in, or what? Because it kind

[22:12]of looks like it. Oh. That looks like

[22:14]where the... You think this is just

[22:16]the airtight, so it's not airtight?

[22:17]No, I think that's, like,

[22:20]an enhanced penile head.

[22:21]So that you can, like, look down and imagine that that's

[22:24]the tip of your own penis,

[22:25]and then you're like, oh, I'm going to shoot it out of there.

[22:28]So dirty, Aaron. God damn, it's so dirty.

[22:29]Dude, you call, you call it pervert's

[22:32]corner? I don't know. Look at it.

[22:33]Well, I thought that's what we had agreed to.

[22:35]It wasn't my idea. Well,

[22:37]I thought it was. I don't remember. Who remembers who did

[22:40]what? You know what I mean? I like, also,

[22:41]I think it's, it cracks me up every time I hear someone

[22:43]say water. Like, I know you live on the East Coast, so

[22:45]it's not a thing to you, but when someone says water, like,

[22:47]I can't. It is very funny. Now, Aaron. It's funny to me.

[22:50]Aaron, look at these stats. Water resistant.

[22:51]Okay? But not water proof.

[22:53]No. So, which is strange,

[22:55]right? Because to me, it should just be liquid

[22:57]proof. Like, just, let's just say liquid

[22:59]proof in general. Just any liquid. Let's just, let's just not

[23:02]say what, but it's not, it's not.

[23:03]Okay? And you know

[23:06]that's because guys would take this in the shower.

[23:07]That's 100% what they're talking about, right?

[23:09]You can't take this in the shower, or it's water resistant,

[23:11]so maybe you can.

[23:12]Now, this goes back. I don't know. I was just thinking

[23:15]that it was like, maybe you just, like,

[23:17]can't go too many

[23:19]times. I don't know. Listen. Now, listen.

[23:21]Aaron and I did edit something out.

[23:23]Aaron and I just stared at each other for about 30 seconds

[23:25]in silence as we thought about having this in our shower

[23:27]and how much better it would make

[23:29]every morning when we woke up and had to go to work.

[23:31]And again, it goes back to my theory

[23:33]that everything would be better if it

[23:35]also jacked you off.

[23:37]You know what I mean? Like, if you got in the shower knowing

[23:39]that was going to happen, you'd love to,

[23:41]like, I would be springing,

[23:43]I would not be in bed checking Instagram

[23:45]for the first 10 minutes. I would be, if I

[23:47]had one of these in my shower, I would be springing

[23:49]out of bed, okay? Just like the

[23:51]Christmas story. I would be opening

[23:53]the sash. I would be jumping in the shower. I would

[23:55]be the most excited guy to wake up ever.

[23:57]Now, post-shower,

[23:59]very sleepy. Fighting

[24:01]not to go back to that bed. Exhausted.

[24:03]Yeah.

[24:04]Hey, guess what, Rob? You got to vamp for a minute

[24:07]on your own because I got to plug in my laptop. All right. Sounds

[24:09]good. Hey, now,

[24:11]this does make me think that... No editing. You can't

[24:13]edit this out. Oh, that's right. I almost forgot.

[24:15]This does make me think Aaron is now going to

[24:17]check, put something in his shower because that's

[24:19]what I feel like. I feel like he's

[24:21]been inspired to do that. Now, let me

[24:23]tell you, okay? Doing a two-person

[24:25]podcast, it turns out it's very tough.

[24:27]Okay? It's not easy.

[24:28]Now that I'm down to a one-person podcast,

[24:31]simple. Okay?

[24:33]Lots of things running through my mind. Want

[24:35]to talk about them right now. I think

[24:36]would I like to go to CES? Because the thing is

[24:39]is that it would mostly be people with

[24:41]like AI

[24:43]programs that are stupid

[24:45]and they would come up to you and you'd have to listen to

[24:47]them and you'd feel bad. I think if...

[24:49]I don't think it would just be sex products. I feel

[24:51]like if it's just... Plus, if it's just sex products,

[24:53]am I just going by myself? I'm just

[24:55]going to check out all the sex products by myself. Oh, what are you

[24:57]doing here? Oh, I'm just a weirdo. Or are

[24:59]you a journalist or something? No. I'm just here

[25:01]because I think sex products

[25:03]are funny and I'm coming here as a joke.

[25:05]So everything you've done with your life is a joke.

[25:07]There have to be people there checking

[25:09]out sex products by themselves. So I was confused

[25:11]because there is a guy that I know in the neighborhood

[25:13]who was at CES. Yes.

[25:15]For work. Oh, so you thought... And so I was

[25:17]like, yeah, I was like, dude, does Jake work?

[25:19]In the sex business? Nice. Like, I didn't know this.

[25:21]Nice. Yeah. Yeah, well, the good thing I told

[25:23]you, that would be an awkward conversation.

[25:24]Like, hey, have you seen the Solus Pro for work?

[25:26]Yeah.

[25:28]That's so good. For your professional

[25:31]job. Aaron, also on these stats,

[25:33]14 hours of battery

[25:35]life. So listen, you want

[25:37]to take this camping for two,

[25:39]maybe three days? It's going to have enough

[25:41]battery for that time for you. 14

[25:43]hours? That's a long,

[25:44]long time.

[25:46]Okay? I don't care how... I don't care. Listen,

[25:49]I don't care if the wife is out for

[25:51]a three-day weekend, is out of the apartment and took

[25:53]the kids. I'm not going

[25:55]through 14 hours of battery life.

[25:56]At some point, I'm going to look like

[25:59]the knight at the end of that temple

[26:00]that Indiana Jones where he just dries up

[26:03]to dust. That's what I would look like

[26:05]if my wife left for a three-day weekend and took the kids

[26:07]and I was left with a Solus Pro with

[26:09]14 hours of battery life. I would

[26:11]just look like this dried-up husk.

[26:13]I would be like... You'd be like a guy on a rack

[26:15]that's like, I have to wear a still suit to capture this.

[26:17]Oh, my. Exactly. It's all gone.

[26:19]Exactly. Doing myself

[26:20]too much.

[26:21]I would look like a California raisin when my

[26:24]wife got home. All right.

[26:26]And then also, Aaron, look at the speed here. 300

[26:28]times a minute thrust speed.

[26:30]So, first

[26:32]of all, 300 times a minute, that's making me

[26:34]do a lot of math, right?

[26:36]That's like... How many minutes? Five times.

[26:39]Yes, five times a second.

[26:40]Okay. That's

[26:42]fast. 1,001.

[26:44]Okay. Actually, Aaron, I got to go. Podcast

[26:46]is canceled. I got to go see something.

[26:48]I got to check something out.

[26:50]I got to do some math. My typical...

[26:52]What's my usual rate? Okay, let's keep

[26:54]watching, okay? I know you just want to stare at this picture.

[26:57]The top is made of silicon, and as

[26:58]you can see, there's a hole for, you can

[27:00]guess, one of the most interesting... It is

[27:03]for putting your thing in. Oh, so

[27:04]that's where the thing goes. But then it's upside

[27:06]down in the demo. It is. The demo,

[27:08]just to let you know... The demo's upside down.

[27:11]If you... This looks like... Imagine

[27:12]you're standing at a urinal, leaning up

[27:14]against the wall, like, because you're hammered. You know when

[27:16]you're hammered at a urinal, and you're really given the full

[27:18]lean? And then you're taking photos

[27:20]unsuspecting of the guys next to you?

[27:22]Yeah, this is where you would put it down.

[27:24]They have it facing down at a 45-degree

[27:26]angle, so you'd have to be above it. It's a weird angle.

[27:28]It's a very... I don't think...

[27:30]Honestly, I don't think it would work.

[27:32]You know what I mean? You'd have to be hanging from the ceiling

[27:34]maybe, or doing a handstand? This would be

[27:36]like if you were in a farm run by

[27:38]some, you know... I mean, if you got...

[27:41]Aaron, can you even imagine if you got captured

[27:42]by a tribe of sexy women in a post-apocalyptic

[27:45]future, and all they wanted to do

[27:46]was hook you up to one of these machines in their barn for a

[27:48]14 hours at a time, because that's all the battery

[27:50]is? That would suck.

[27:52]That would be a wild...

[27:54]That movie must exist.

[27:56]Yeah, it's got to.

[27:58]Check out Bing.com later.

[28:00]Alright, here we go.

[28:01]...about this product is that it actually can

[28:04]sync to your video content. So over here

[28:06]they have a demo that's showing

[28:08]non-adult content, because we

[28:10]are in a public... So Aaron, this

[28:12]is showing a video. Now at this point, I have to

[28:14]say, during the episode, and I know you didn't listen.

[28:16]Okay, good for you. But at this point, Russ

[28:18]kept saying things like, let's move on.

[28:20]Matt, you need to re-engage.

[28:21]I don't want to talk about... He physically said, like,

[28:24]I don't want to talk about this anymore. He said, Matt, you need to

[28:26]re-engage? I mean, it was kind of like...

[28:28]I kind of felt like... Matt disengaged?

[28:30]Yeah, I kind of felt like, well, I don't want to say that either.

[28:32]But you know what? I'm going to chat it to you.

[28:34]Was there a game on? That might have been one. I felt

[28:36]like, blank,

[28:38]from the movie

[28:40]back

[28:42]to the future

[28:44]in the

[28:47]blank.

[28:48]blank at the end

[28:50]when I was talking

[28:52]to Russ.

[28:54]Yep. You know what I mean?

[28:58]Like, he was trapped in there with me, and I felt terrible

[29:00]about it. Okay, so Aaron, what's

[29:02]happening here? On the video, there's a video with

[29:04]a woman jumping out of bed.

[29:06]Yeah. And there's a...

[29:08]And they're kind of just waving her arms back and forth

[29:10]in a random fashion.

[29:12]And this machine, this AI-powered

[29:14]masturbator...

[29:16]AI-powered? Has identified

[29:18]it says, hand and hand with a box

[29:20]over each hand, and then a hand over...

[29:22]And then the most disturbingly

[29:24]over her entire face is a

[29:26]box that just says mouth.

[29:28]The whole box over the face.

[29:29]No, this is disappointing. This is a bummer.

[29:32]But my kid does work on...

[29:33]It's a bummer that your kid's working on it.

[29:36]So she just saw me

[29:38]looking at a picture of a woman with two boxes

[29:40]over her hands that say hand and a box over her mouth

[29:42]that says mouth.

[29:43]Honestly, that's the worst thing she's seen probably.

[29:45]Aaron, are you serious?

[29:48]I hope so. I'm not like... This is not like

[29:50]what I'm doing in my free time. I'm only doing this

[29:52]for you, Aaron.

[29:52]And you can see how it is

[29:56]identifying certain... This is work time

[29:58]for me, okay? I'm on the clock.

[29:59]...movements, and so that way you can stay in sync

[30:02]with your toy.

[30:03]However the hand or mouth

[30:06]moves with the video, the speed of the

[30:08]Solus Pro changes. It doesn't just sync with

[30:10]video content, it also syncs with open

[30:12]world RPGs and virtual reality.

[30:14]Solus Pro is detachable, so you can

[30:16]take it on the go. It starts at

[30:18]$200, and it is available

[30:20]now. And Solus Pro also has the ability

[30:22]to sync with other Levin's products,

[30:24]so you and your partner can be in sync.

[30:26]So this is...

[30:27]Now, it turns out, Aaron,

[30:30]that's going to be a big theme.

[30:31]Men's and women's products syncing together.

[30:34]Oh, okay.

[30:36]Cool, yeah. So let's get into it now.

[30:38]For our friend John,

[30:40]there is a Norwegian company

[30:42]called Odoki, and they famously

[30:44]two years ago, this is at CES

[30:46]2024, okay?

[30:48]They come out with something called

[30:49]the Handy.

[30:50]Here is the Handy. It's made by a team

[30:54]in Oslo, Norway. This woman is

[30:56]on the CNET. So what we're doing is we're looking up

[30:57]CNET videos for these. This woman

[30:59]is on the CNET sex toys beat.

[31:01]Somehow she got... Oh, it's her job.

[31:04]Somehow she got that. That's like my cousin used to

[31:05]work at a sperm bank,

[31:07]and she was a secretary there, or an assistant

[31:10]there. And one of

[31:12]her jobs, she told me, is that

[31:14]she was in charge of going to the pornography

[31:16]store and buying pornography.

[31:18]For the sperm bank.

[31:20]And I said,

[31:21]I could have done that job. And she said,

[31:24]every single guy I talk to says

[31:26]that. They make that exact same joke.

[31:28]And I was like, I don't know.

[31:29]Can you imagine, though, you go

[31:32]in as a job to buy it?

[31:34]You're like, well, let's see.

[31:35]Let's see. This is my job, so I've got to

[31:38]make sure everything is correct.

[31:40]I'm going to look at these Google

[31:42]form responses that people did. I do see

[31:44]that they want more

[31:45]Latina asses, so

[31:48]I'm going to have to pick that up right now.

[31:49]Oh, God. Well, it's for the job.

[31:51]Is that the name of the magazine?

[31:52]I mean, when these guys, listen,

[31:55]when you find a sperm bank that you like,

[31:57]they will cater

[32:00]to you. You stick with it, right?

[32:01]That's what I say. There's probably like a punch card

[32:04]or whatever, like your sixth one, you get a free

[32:06]plain yogurt or something.

[32:08]Aaron, a punch card

[32:09]is a brilliant idea.

[32:11]Yeah, you go in like, oh, if you did five

[32:14]and then your sixth one, you get a bonus.

[32:15]It's free. Like a free

[32:17]froyo. Oh, that's a great

[32:19]idea, Aaron. All right.

[32:21]Go back here. The Handy by

[32:23]Is the Handy. It's made by a team

[32:25]in Oslo, Norway, who aim to revolutionize

[32:28]sex tech and be the future of masturbation.

[32:30]So it's very similar to the other one.

[32:31]Basically, it looks like a

[32:33]I don't know. I don't like when they say sex

[32:35]tech. Like that's just too much like

[32:37]the Terminators having sex. Yeah, that's

[32:39]it's totally true.

[32:40]Is there any sex in any of the Terminator movies?

[32:43]Well, I mean, in the first one,

[32:45]she does get pregnant by the guy sent back

[32:47]to save her. That's John Connor's dad.

[32:49]Okay.

[32:50]And then I thought there was a scene where Arnold

[32:53]was kind of like he was jerking

[32:55]it. It was implied. You know

[32:57]what I mean? Where he was. Is he too?

[32:59]Yeah, he had been watching the Jeffersons

[33:01]and he saw Rosie the robot and it's

[33:03]you could see his vision, you

[33:05]know, where it kind of zoomed in and it said,

[33:07]you know, stimulated.

[33:09]Did you mean

[33:11]the Jetsons? Hang on.

[33:13]Did you mean the Jetsons when you said

[33:15]the Jeffersons or is there a robot?

[33:17]The Jetsons.

[33:18]The Jetsons.

[33:20]Was there a robot in the Jeffersons? Yeah, wait a minute. Which one had a sexy

[33:23]female robot? Because there was one of those in Rocky

[33:25]4, if you remember.

[33:26]I do not remember. Pauly's robot.

[33:28]And did you ever see the controversy with Pauly's robot

[33:31]with Rocky 4? So in Rocky 4,

[33:33]Pauly, there's a big subplot where Pauly

[33:35]gets a robot and he

[33:37]eventually makes it have a sexy voice. That's a

[33:39]subplot in Rocky 4.

[33:40]Okay. Sylvester Stallone

[33:43]about two years ago was on Twitter

[33:45]and he was saying, I'm recutting the movie.

[33:47]I'm redirecting it.

[33:48]Every question after that,

[33:51]every reply was,

[33:52]what's happening to Pauly's robot?

[33:54]What's going to happen with Pauly's robot?

[33:56]And to everyone, he never missed one.

[33:58]To everyone he wrote, I'm cutting out the robot.

[34:00]I'm editing out the robot. The robot is gone.

[34:03]So everybody was furious.

[34:05]They're like, how can you cut out the robot out of Rocky 4?

[34:07]They're like, Han shot first.

[34:08]So, here's

[34:11]the deal. I like that, by the way.

[34:12]My friend doesn't like you either.

[34:14]This looks like kind of a

[34:17]candle to an immersion blender, where on the

[34:19]side, there is a clear, something

[34:21]about the size of a salt and pepper shaker

[34:22]that is going up and down the side

[34:25]of the device at quite some speed.

[34:26]Okay.

[34:27]The handy is an automatic stroker that

[34:31]does up to 10 strokes per second and

[34:33]can even connect to online Wi-Fi when

[34:35]it's in Bluetooth and online mode.

[34:37]So this one, Aaron, we're talking

[34:38]10 strokes a second. So if you thought the

[34:40]Solus Pro with five strokes a second

[34:42]was nice, Aaron,

[34:44]you're a fucking idiot. Okay?

[34:47]So this is really amping up the strokes.

[34:49]This one is amping it up. Aaron,

[34:50]I would say this, okay?

[34:52]What band does this device remind me of?

[34:57]What band

[34:58]does it remind me of?

[35:01]All right.

[35:02]Here we go.

[35:03]Buzzcocks. All right.

[35:06]The handy can also improve long-distance

[35:08]relationships by simply sharing a connection

[35:10]key with a partner and giving them

[35:12]control of the device.

[35:16]Ah, whoa.

[35:17]So they can make it go up and down.

[35:19]I would tell my partner, I'd be like,

[35:21]please, I need it 10 times

[35:24]a second. I have been using it

[35:27]a lot on my own, and I have been

[35:28]spoiled. There's no way

[35:30]that someone wouldn't mess with you where

[35:32]they'd be like, yeah, like, isn't

[35:34]the Wi-Fi working? Like, I'm giving you 10 times

[35:36]a second. You're like, it's not happening. And you're like, no,

[35:38]no, well, I don't, gosh, maybe

[35:40]reset your router or something?

[35:42]That was the first thought I had, is that if I

[35:44]got this for my wife and I, and we had a

[35:46]long-distance relationship, I would buy this. I'd be like, listen,

[35:48]I bought a male masturbator. Don't tell

[35:50]any of my friends. They think it's weird.

[35:52]Some of them don't even want to talk to me about it.

[35:54]They say, move on. Guys think it's weird.

[35:55]Okay? Only one of my friends actually wants to talk

[35:58]to me about this stuff.

[35:59]Yeah, it's Aaron from the pervert. And here I am.

[36:02]From the pervert corner. No, the show

[36:04]is the pervert hour. The location

[36:06]was the pervert corner. That was what we called our

[36:08]studio. See, my wife never got that part of it.

[36:10]But I would say to her, hey, listen,

[36:12]I bought this male masturbator. Don't tell my friends.

[36:14]And you can actually control

[36:16]it from long distance. So I was wondering if you could do it

[36:18]tonight sometime as a surprise.

[36:20]And then she would just never,

[36:22]she would complain about setting up the tech.

[36:24]She'd be like, what's my password for the Apple

[36:26]store? I can't get into my phone.

[36:27]Okay? Jenny is,

[36:29]you know what Jenny did on Monday?

[36:32]I said, hey, what's the number

[36:34]so I can get a new credit card? I got to get one for Vegas.

[36:36]I don't actually have an active credit card right now

[36:38]in my wallet. Jenny goes,

[36:40]well, I'll do it on the app. I'll

[36:42]get you a new card,

[36:43]but it'll keep your number good so you can use it

[36:46]on your Apple pay. Oh, okay, good.

[36:47]She types in the number wrong

[36:50]three times. So the card is

[36:51]canceled now. So my card

[36:54]doesn't work. And then she goes,

[36:56]oh yeah, they can't mail you until after Vegas.

[36:57]So I said, well, that, so why did

[37:00]you, and I

[37:02]was asking her for the phone number so I could

[37:03]call. And then she took over and screwed it all up.

[37:06]That's why you have all the cash.

[37:08]Then I got in a huge fight about something else

[37:09]and Aaron, but I'm going to save that for the main show now.

[37:11]Ah, my wife would

[37:13]not do it to me. She would complain about logging

[37:15]on. She would not be able to sync it to her phone

[37:17]and eventually she would get so frustrated. She'd say, I just

[37:19]want to go to sleep and here, you know, what's, would you know,

[37:21]it'd be sadder than owning a male masturbator

[37:23]is only one that your wife refuses to

[37:25]run from across the globe. Well, yeah,

[37:27]you just, so you're just imagining that you're just,

[37:29]you're just in this thing flaccid all night

[37:32]just waiting for her to, oh man.

[37:33]I don't know. I mean, how else would you do it to be surprised?

[37:36]Well, I don't know.

[37:37]I've had this experience. I'm not

[37:39]sure. Neither have I.

[37:40]No, my eyes aren't darting back and forth.

[37:45]Um, so check this

[37:47]out. Now this blew my mind when I saw the handy.

[37:49]It is also said to be compatible with

[37:51]a headset, including some VR and phone

[37:53]based headsets as well. The handy

[37:55]uses. I got to admit,

[37:56]that looks like a Nintendo Wii controller.

[37:59]Can you imagine if my parents walked

[38:01]in and they caught me jacking off with a machine

[38:03]with a headset on like I'm home for the

[38:05]holidays?

[38:06]Like my parents

[38:09]would see that and then just

[38:11]go right out by the lake,

[38:13]load up a coat with heavy rocks and then just

[38:15]walk.

[38:15]Into the water with big smiles on their face.

[38:17]When you said headset,

[38:19]I thought you were referring to head

[38:21]gear. Like, uh, I was, I was picturing

[38:23]like headgear, like what are you doing in

[38:25]here?

[38:25]What are you doing in here? I was going to sleep with my headgear.

[38:29]I told you I was so tired. I had to go to sleep

[38:31]early. Why are you in here?

[38:33]Yeah.

[38:34]It sounded like somebody was running a rock tumbler

[38:37]in this room. You know what I mean? Like I was wondering

[38:39]what was going on.

[38:40]As you know, these devices to, you know,

[38:43]they're about five times, 10 times louder than

[38:45]they need to be. Like that's, they don't

[38:47]care. Yeah. A hundred percent.

[38:49]How's those rocks, by the way, they tumbling away?

[38:51]They just finished tumbling. I

[38:53]don't even know. Yeah, we'd be in, we'd be in

[38:55]trouble right now because my family's still awake. So

[38:57]I'm not even sure how we would handle it if the rock

[38:59]tumbler were still tumbling, but now it's done tumbling.

[39:01]We got to, we got to get the rocks out and see how they're

[39:03]looking. All right. So here's the second part of the handy

[39:05]Velcro grip and a flexible thermoplastic

[39:07]elastic. So I don't get

[39:09]what that was either. I think that attaches

[39:11]to the clear gel

[39:13]part on the outside. I mean, all of these

[39:15]things look so insane. Flexible thermoplastic elastomer

[39:16]sleeve, which attaches to the device to be

[39:19]used. Now look at this. This is what I'm

[39:21]going to show you next. Multiple sleeves. You can

[39:23]buy. No, both are sold separately.

[39:25]Are you kidding? The sleeves

[39:27]are sold separately. That's how

[39:29]you know what, Aaron? That's how they get you.

[39:30]You think you're buying a male masturbator

[39:33]that it's going to add the sleeve? Less than $200

[39:34]and now. Now you're adding

[39:37]the sleeve. They have a sleeve

[39:38]subscription for the rest of your life. Yeah.

[39:40]The sleeves are only good for one to two uses.

[39:42]They're not waterproof. They're water resistant.

[39:45]Literally, when you go to Amazon, it says

[39:47]this is most often ordered

[39:48]once a month. Subscribe and save.

[39:50]It's 100% subscribe and save.

[39:52]That's

[39:55]crazy. That's crazy that it's a

[39:56]subscribe and save for your hand

[39:58]sleeve. Price starts at $199

[40:01]with the sleeves varying in price

[40:03]depending on the style. So let's go right

[40:04]to the sleeves. I'm sorry.

[40:06]Did Matt and Russell view these as well?

[40:09]Is this the list now? What's in the list?

[40:11]Are we in the list now? Have Matt

[40:13]and Russell seen this? No, no, no. We haven't done the list.

[40:14]This is not the list yet. No. So let me go

[40:16]to, let me just show you this.

[40:18]So wait, where'd you... I thought I had it.

[40:21]You just asked me to join you tonight

[40:22]to look at your YouTube history

[40:24]of enjoying... No, no, no.

[40:27]Oh, so I should explain.

[40:28]I saw the Solus Pro. That's why I showed Russell.

[40:30]He hated it. Did not like it.

[40:32]So then I was like, well, I'm going to show Aaron

[40:34]it. I said, but I got to find some other sex

[40:36]stuff. And then it led me down this old

[40:38]odokie... Yeah.

[40:39]I also want to pull back

[40:42]the curtain for our listeners that earlier this week,

[40:44]Rob was like, do you want to do an extra thing with me?

[40:46]It'll be like 20, 30 minutes. Don't worry about it.

[40:48]We're at 40 minutes of recording now.

[40:50]I think I said... Okay, so just

[40:52]check us out, Aaron. Do you think the Handy is...

[40:54]Oh, purple link, by the way. Handy Amazon.

[40:56]Do you think the Handy

[40:58]is on Amazon?

[40:59]No, I think it's some knockoff version.

[41:02]Oh, no, it's there. The Handy's right there.

[41:04]No, it's the Handy. And what's crazy is...

[41:06]Oh, wow. What they really

[41:08]sell a lot of... Is this a Men's Health endorsement?

[41:10]Where did it go? I had a...

[41:12]I had one.

[41:14]That was just the Handy.

[41:16]Okay, I'm going to try

[41:18]one more time, and then I'll bail on this. Ah, here it is.

[41:20]Of course, you got to go to the Handy

[41:22]Adult Game

[41:24]Sex Toys. Okay? And now we're

[41:26]looking at the very... So first of all, first thing you see

[41:28]up here, the Handy. The second one,

[41:30]a sleeve for $30.

[41:31]Those sleeves look like glass

[41:34]versions of tiki glasses that you would steal

[41:36]from a tiki bar. They're very

[41:38]scary. They're very, like, bumpy.

[41:40]Like, you can see how bumpy they are

[41:42]all over. It makes me nervous. And

[41:44]this one only has three and a half stars.

[41:46]That seems, like, too low for a

[41:48]masturbating sleeve to me. I would want

[41:50]four... I would not accept any less than four and a half.

[41:52]Four or above. Okay? I'm

[41:54]not going cheap. And then the next thing on here, of course,

[41:56]is a clamp, like a microphone

[41:58]stand, but it's for the Handy, so you can put

[42:00]it on your desk.

[42:01]Okay. Yeah. It's...

[42:04]This is... Right, because anything less than four,

[42:06]like, that's got to mean it gave you a rash

[42:08]or something. Like, you can't mess around.

[42:09]But now look at this. We've got the Handy

[42:11]Dream Collection sleeve. We've got

[42:14]the Handy True Grip sleeve. Okay.

[42:15]And now this one is the Handy Mermaid Collection.

[42:18]Okay? So I just wanted to show this

[42:20]to you real quick. It's short.

[42:21]Okay? The reviews are...

[42:24]Listen. I can't

[42:26]believe this is happening. There's two... There's a

[42:28]couple one-star reviews. How did I get here?

[42:30]Okay? We're not going to read the one-star

[42:32]reviews right now, but I wanted to show you this. Look at this.

[42:34]I'm sure they have the word rash in them. They do show

[42:36]various sized items going into

[42:38]the sleeve, so you can tell. Okay?

[42:40]They have zucchini,

[42:42]banana, and carrot.

[42:44]Oh. All right.

[42:45]All of them fit. They have what they consider

[42:48]the measurements of the carrot, which is length

[42:50]12 centimeters, width 2.5 centimeters.

[42:52]Listen. I'm not European,

[42:54]but that sounds really small

[42:56]to me. A width of 2.5...

[42:59]It was. Long and thin.

[42:59]12 centimeters? I don't think

[43:02]is that... Hold on. Wait a minute.

[43:04]It's like Snoop said. Slim with a tilted brim.

[43:06]You know what? I got to start measuring

[43:08]myself in the metric system. I know the joke's

[43:10]been done before, but 12 centimeters sounds huge

[43:12]to me. It really does.

[43:13]It sounds much better. Yeah. All right. So, listen.

[43:15]Next. Lastly, this company

[43:18]now came out with a female

[43:19]vibrator this year. This year, this is a brand

[43:22]new female one. From the company that brought you the

[43:23]Handy, now brings

[43:26]a different product for another crowd.

[43:28]This is the... Oh.

[43:29]Oh. Oh. Oh.

[43:31]Oh. It's a silent, high-tech

[43:34]vibrator. So, Aaron,

[43:36]describe what this looks like. Silent.

[43:37]Okay? Because it's not your classic, like, it's not a

[43:40]sex shape or anything. It's a...

[43:42]It looks like a fancy Bic lighter,

[43:43]Yes. It kind of looks like if you...

[43:46]Like covered in silicone? If I told you this controlled

[43:48]a Nintendo Wii,

[43:48]you know what I mean? Like, that would make sense. These all look like

[43:51]game controllers, yeah. Now, check this out, though.

[43:53]This is a vibrator that doesn't

[43:55]vibrate.

[43:56]That actually uses sound waves to develop

[44:00]the vibrations and...

[44:01]It's the Howard Stern joke. It's the Howard Stern joke.

[44:03]It's literally sound waves.

[44:05]And they keep... It's straight out of Private Parts.

[44:07]They keep advertising. Now, Aaron,

[44:08]do you think I spent at least an hour of my life

[44:11]today trying to find a real video of

[44:13]how this works and what it looks like?

[44:15]I do. Because I wanted to hear the sound.

[44:17]I thought you were going to say you spent an hour of your life trying to make the

[44:19]exact sound to make this work for Jenny.

[44:21]You're like, no, no, no, just wait.

[44:23]Just stay right there.

[44:24]Wait a minute.

[44:25]This is when we need Russell to do the overtone singing.

[44:29]Oh, yeah.

[44:31]He's over the overtone singing.

[44:37]Okay, check this out. And it's customizable.

[44:39]It uses Bluetooth and wireless

[44:41]connection, similar to how the handy

[44:43]works. You can use it if you're in a long-distance

[44:45]relationship and your partner can control

[44:47]it for you. And also, if you

[44:49]own a handy, they can work together

[44:52]in sync. Now, one cool thing

[44:53]about O is that you can actually connect

[44:55]it to music, audio, content,

[44:58]your Spotify, and it'll actually

[45:00]the vibrations will work in sync.

[45:01]I gotta go.

[45:03]I gotta go.

[45:05]How did I not think of that?

[45:09]And you know what's crazy?

[45:12]They can sync together.

[45:13]So, like, I could be in one

[45:16]room. My wife could be in the

[45:18]other room. I've got the

[45:20]handy. She's got the O.

[45:21]I put on... You're hanging out.

[45:23]I don't know. Bob Dylan bringing it on home.

[45:26]Okay? I put that

[45:28]episode on. We're both loving it.

[45:30]You know what I mean? And listen, you can

[45:32]listen to upward of seven episodes. It's got a

[45:34]14-hour battery life. It's great.

[45:35]So, this thing, there's no vibration, so it's

[45:38]silent. It uses Soundwave, Aaron.

[45:40]But wouldn't that not be silent? Wouldn't that be even louder?

[45:42]Are there any

[45:43]co-branding opportunities? Can we do a better

[45:45]branded O on our

[45:48]site? Oh, my God. That would be so

[45:50]good. You know what? That would probably

[45:52]be actually our number one seller. We've sold, like,

[45:54]three shirts and, like, five O's.

[45:56]With the music

[45:58]or the movie. Now, this is

[46:00]coming out in Q2 for

[46:01]$150. This could

[46:04]be the best O you'll ever feel.

[46:06]This just goes back to my idea.

[46:08]I just don't know

[46:09]who's buying vibrators where they want patterns.

[46:12]It doesn't make any sense.

[46:13]It doesn't make any sense to me.

[46:13]The guy who invented the car alarm

[46:17]also invented the vibrator, of course.

[46:18]Why do they have those

[46:23]patterns? It should just be a consistent

[46:25]I mean, I don't know.

[46:27]I've never used a vibrator. I'm not sure.

[46:29]Listen, Max Power. Who's doing anything

[46:31]besides Max Power? Stop fucking around.

[46:33]Just kick it up to Max Power.

[46:34]What are we doing?

[46:36]I mean, what are we

[46:41]talking about here? Max Power.

[46:43]Are men and women that different where they

[46:45]just don't want Max Power? Now, I have to say, I made this joke

[46:47]with my sister, and she said to me,

[46:49]oh, do you want to know what there's different speeds for?

[46:51]And I said, no.

[46:52]We are going to eat in, like, two minutes.

[46:55]Do you think I'm going to be able to do that when I'm thinking about you

[46:57]telling me this? No.

[46:59]But if anybody

[47:01]knows, you know what?

[47:03]Leave a voicemail, but

[47:05]make it to Russ. Say to Russ,

[47:07]oh, Russ, I heard you were asking about this.

[47:09]Okay? Please.

[47:10]So, of course, I went

[47:12]on then Amazon.

[47:13]Amazon, okay?

[47:14]Amazon does have the O for sale, Aaron.

[47:17]Okay?

[47:18]Okay, for less than $150?

[47:20]The O right now is $120.

[47:22]You're getting a deal right now.

[47:24]See, this is what's happening. It's not even

[47:27]January 20th yet, and things are already

[47:29]prices are coming down.

[47:31]Hi, and welcome to the O.

[47:32]Pleasure through sound waves.

[47:35]I don't get how

[47:37]this works. What is going on in my eardrums?

[47:39]I was trying to fast forward it. That's my fault.

[47:41]But I can't edit it out, Aaron, so I'm really sorry.

[47:43]Edit it out?

[47:43]No, it's in there now.

[47:44]And, of course, all the reviews are really good,

[47:46]but they've all been given free ones.

[47:48]I don't know.

[47:49]But see, then again, this technology keeps changing, Aaron.

[47:53]See, this is why I love it. Now, finally,

[47:54]okay, of course, the most famous

[47:57]thing that happened in CES, everybody was talking about it.

[47:59]We're here with Aria, made by Realbotics,

[48:00]a company that's on a mission to make humanoid robots.

[48:03]So, Robotics has made

[48:04]an AI-powered robot.

[48:06]And they gave it

[48:09]everything you would think a robot would need,

[48:11]including long-blown,

[48:13]hair, a look like

[48:15]Jack Nicholson in the movie The Shining,

[48:17]and

[48:19]one of the biggest chests I've ever

[48:21]seen on anything of all time.

[48:23]They gave this robot an enormous

[48:25]chest, okay?

[48:26]Now, do you think I did some research into this?

[48:29]Oh, look at this. Look at what they zoom in to.

[48:31]Oh, wait.

[48:32]So, Realbotics makes an AI that's designed to be more conversational.

[48:35]So, listen to it talk.

[48:36]I'm currently unable to provide specific

[48:41]details about my AI programming.

[48:43]But I can tell you that I'm designed for engaging

[48:45]and meaningful conversation.

[48:46]Now, Aaron.

[48:47]Oh, meaningful conversation.

[48:49]Did you see that while the robot talked, it reached a handout and hit the guy?

[48:52]Yeah.

[48:53]Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would make you?

[48:55]Can you imagine?

[48:58]All this stuff.

[49:00]I feel the way about this particular robot

[49:03]that I do about

[49:04]Greenland, which is

[49:06]if this is what Boston Dynamics wants to do,

[49:09]if this is what they want to do,

[49:11]I'm good with it.

[49:13]Make all the sex robots you want.

[49:15]I don't like those videos

[49:17]where the robots are like, oh, this robot can

[49:19]do an obstacle course and then shoot a bunch of rounds off.

[49:21]No. No. Watch one fucking movie.

[49:23]No.

[49:23]So, if we're focused on buying Greenland

[49:26]and we're focused on building sex robots,

[49:28]that means that there's a lot of other bad shit that's not happening.

[49:31]So, I'm okay with it.

[49:32]It goes back to my theory.

[49:33]Even robots would be better.

[49:36]They do the hunk of chunko with you.

[49:38]Aaron, I got the message you wrote in the chat.

[49:41]Yep.

[49:42]Can I change this robot's face to look like people I know?

[49:45]And, of course, the answer is yes, Aaron.

[49:47]As you know, you can.

[49:48]You can try on different faces that are magnetically attached

[49:50]and they're working on putting in RFID tags

[49:53]into the faces so that it can recognize when a new face is on

[49:55]and adjust its facial movements.

[49:57]Aaron,

[49:58]you gotta get one face from a guy from the podcast.

[50:01]What do you do?

[50:02]Which face are you choosing?

[50:03]Yours, 100%.

[50:05]Oh, God, Aaron. Yes, that's so good. I'll take man.

[50:07]It's you all day.

[50:08]All right.

[50:09]But I did some more

[50:12]investigation.

[50:13]Weird shit.

[50:14]I did some more investigation, Aaron.

[50:15]You cannot have sex with that robot.

[50:17]It does not have parts for that.

[50:20]So, literally, this company made

[50:22]a busty female robot

[50:24]that you can talk to

[50:27]and you can have conversations with.

[50:30]Okay? Like, long conversations.

[50:32]And this robot

[50:34]will talk to you all night long, Aaron.

[50:36]It's the movie Her, but they just made

[50:38]an actual physical thing.

[50:40]I don't think I've seen it. In addition to the voice.

[50:42]Are you thinking of the hit movie Sim 1?

[50:43]No, I'm thinking of Her

[50:46]with Joaquin Phoenix.

[50:47]Or are you thinking of that? What was that sex doll one?

[50:50]Lars and the Real Doll? Or whatever.

[50:52]Or whatever it was.

[50:52]Aaron, you listen. We don't have any more time to be so perverted.

[50:55]Let's get into tonight's list.

[50:57]No, we're not out of time. Now we have to get into tonight's list.

[51:00]What's the sting to get out of the pervert corner?

[51:02]Oh, you know what?

[51:04]We do need a sting to get out of the pervert corner.

[51:07]Please, let me out.

[51:09]I got in here willingly, and now I wish

[51:11]I hadn't.

[51:13]I'm stuck in a silicone hole.

[51:15]Somebody's gripping me tightly and moving it

[51:16]ten times a second.

[51:17]This is my sneaky beat of the week.

[51:21]Time for us to go to the pervert corner.

[51:22]No, the pervert corner is the studio, Aaron.

[51:25]This is the pervert hour.

[51:26]Oh, okay.

[51:28]We're only eight minutes away from completing the pervert hour.

[51:32]And it's pronounced pervert hour.

[51:34]It's not pervert hour.

[51:35]The emphasis is not on the hour.

[51:37]It's on the perverts.

[51:38]Alright, so let's get into tonight's list now.

[51:42]On this episode, Aaron,

[51:44]I talked about what a juggernaut

[51:47]Madonna is.

[51:48]Okay, and this is kind of pre...

[51:50]Russ argued that this was pre-Taylor Swift,

[51:52]but most consecutive number one singles,

[51:55]every single she released from 83 to 89,

[51:57]number one single.

[51:58]Okay?

[51:59]Wait, every single single for six years?

[52:03]Yes, was number one.

[52:04]That's amazing.

[52:06]It's crazy.

[52:06]She has 46 number one singles as an artist.

[52:10]Oh, my God.

[52:11]She's one of the few artists,

[52:12]she has a single in like the last five decades.

[52:14]A number one single.

[52:16]She has 68 MTV Music Awards.

[52:20]She has the highest selling tour of the following years.

[52:23]2001.

[52:24]Wait, were any of those number one singles,

[52:27]this used to be in my playground?

[52:28]Because that one, no way.

[52:29]That can't have been.

[52:30]You know what?

[52:31]Let's check it out.

[52:31]This used to be my playground.

[52:35]Okay?

[52:36]So first of all,

[52:38]we're going to play it in the background.

[52:39]I hope it's the right volume,

[52:39]because again, I'm not going to edit this.

[52:42]But that's great.

[52:44]This was a bummer of a song,

[52:46]because when was this?

[52:47]This was like post.

[52:48]I think it's from League of Their Own, right?

[52:51]It's so slow.

[52:54]It is.

[52:54]Oh, my goodness.

[52:55]And this was kind of like post-sexy Madonna.

[52:57]That's a very slow song.

[53:01]Yes.

[53:02]Okay, I'm sorry.

[53:04]I know our listeners already went through this with you.

[53:06]Well, we got to get to the chorus.

[53:07]Billboard.

[53:09]Disused.

[53:12]To be my playground.

[53:13]See, now the listeners are hearing

[53:15]what normally gets edited out.

[53:16]This used to be my playground.

[53:18]Now you're in.

[53:19]This is a little behind the scenes.

[53:21]Behind the music.

[53:21]Behind the podcast.

[53:23]However, it was not available on the film's soundtrack

[53:26]due to contractual obligations.

[53:27]And it was later added to the Olympics-inspired

[53:30]Barcelona Gold compilation album.

[53:32]What?

[53:33]Wow.

[53:33]That's crazy.

[53:35]Reaching number one on the Billboard 100, Aaron.

[53:39]This was number one.

[53:40]People must have been bummed out.

[53:42]In 1995.

[53:43]I don't know.

[53:43]Wow.

[53:45]Golly.

[53:46]Rob's 15.

[53:46]I mean, this is a perfect time to be talking about perverted stuff when I was 15.

[53:50]Right?

[53:51]You're trying to J.O. to this video?

[53:52]I know that this used to...

[53:53]Well, you know what?

[53:54]The video's right here.

[53:54]I didn't want to talk about that, but let's see what this looks like.

[53:57]Okay.

[53:58]Oh, yeah.

[54:00]It's very serious, I think.

[54:01]Oh, geez.

[54:02]It's like Nickelback photograph.

[54:03]It's a photograph flipping through.

[54:05]Oh, boy.

[54:06]Yeah.

[54:06]And clips from a league of their own.

[54:09]Almost impossible.

[54:10]Oh, my goodness.

[54:10]Almost impossible to J.O.

[54:12]to, for sure.

[54:13]But it's definitely a heat check.

[54:14]She's like, if I can even hit number one with this thing, I'm number one all day.

[54:18]Well, so here's the deal.

[54:19]She has the highest selling tour of the following years of any artist.

[54:22]2001.

[54:23]Yeah.

[54:23]2004.

[54:24]2006.

[54:25]2012.

[54:25]Her 2008 tour is one of the top grossing tours of all time.

[54:30]Wow.

[54:31]Nine number one albums.

[54:33]Nine times.

[54:36]But, I think that joke was actually made on the show.

[54:40]Oh, no.

[54:41]We're not talking about that.

[54:42]We're not.

[54:42]We're not.

[54:42]We're very predictable.

[54:42]She had five number two albums.

[54:47]Five albums that did not reach number one.

[54:49]And you know what, Aaron?

[54:50]Not only am I going to show you those songs off those five albums, I'm going to play the

[54:54]songs that beat it.

[54:55]These are the top five albums that beat Madonna's number two albums.

[55:00]All right.

[55:02]All right.

[55:03]These are songs or albums?

[55:05]These are songs from the album?

[55:06]These are songs from the album.

[55:08]So.

[55:08]All right.

[55:09]All right.

[55:09]In 1990.

[55:10]I'm going in chronological order, by the way.

[55:12]Like a clock.

[55:14]Hey, let's start at 12.

[55:15]Sure.

[55:16]Why not?

[55:16]I mean, what the fuck?

[55:17]It makes sense.

[55:18]Does it?

[55:19]Shouldn't it be zero?

[55:22]Shouldn't midnight and noon be zero?

[55:24]Yeah, that's true.

[55:26]Zero.

[55:27]We should start over.

[55:28]What time do I have to be there?

[55:30]Oh, 030.

[55:30]No.

[55:31]Although, hey, that sounds pretty fucking cool when I said 030 there.

[55:34]Yeah.

[55:35]Sounded like I was going after Bin Laden.

[55:37]Now.

[55:38]You know that Bin Laden.

[55:41]That's in the playoffs.

[55:42]He goes to 0-dark-30.

[55:43]What's that?

[55:44]That's what LeBron does in the playoffs.

[55:46]He goes to 0-dark-30 mode.

[55:47]Exactly.

[55:48]You know that Bin Laden was like, the one thing I'm not going to do is get in a spider

[55:52]hole.

[55:52]If he had been, if we had caught two guys in spider holes, you know what I mean?

[55:57]Like, the second guy, you'd be like, you went into your spider hole, too?

[56:00]Remember how they found Saddam?

[56:01]It was like in a hole buried in the sand.

[56:03]What?

[56:04]I don't remember any of this.

[56:06]Bro, look up Saddam's spider hole, okay?

[56:08]It's going to be worth your time.

[56:09]You know your military history far more than I do.

[56:11]I do.

[56:12]I do enjoy history.

[56:13]That's like every kid I teach in middle school is like, I actually enjoy history.

[56:16]I'm like, oh, really?

[56:16]History of art or history of technology?

[56:19]They're like, well, it's mostly military history.

[56:21]I like to look at tanks and shit.

[56:23]I like fucking machine guns and shit.

[56:25]Excuse me.

[56:26]You're in school.

[56:28]It starts so early.

[56:30]My son came home and he was like, Henry knows how to get to the U.S. military website.

[56:35]Yeah.

[56:35]Oh, yeah.

[56:36]Okay.

[56:37]Bro.

[56:37]That's great.

[56:38]U.S. military website.

[56:41]That's how they get to the U.S. military website.

[56:42]That's how they get you.

[56:42]Yeah, I know.

[56:44]Then the kids are all looking at Chinooks or whatever.

[56:46]See, that's what you should have gotten that kid for his 18th birthday instead of a flashlight.

[56:49]You should have gotten him a draft card.

[56:50]You should have signed up for the draft.

[56:52]No, instead he's, you know what?

[56:55]That's what's wrong with this generation.

[56:56]Back in my day, we signed up for the draft.

[56:58]Okay?

[56:59]Nowadays, everybody's just buying their friends fleshlights.

[57:02]No, they're just buying fleshlights.

[57:03]I think he's a CPA now.

[57:04]I'm not sure.

[57:05]It took him a while.

[57:05]I think he graduated college at 30.

[57:07]Really?

[57:08]The guy who graduated early graduated college late?

[57:11]I think so.

[57:12]I think so.

[57:12]Shout out if you're listening, Jeff.

[57:14]Jeff, if you're listening, call me.

[57:15]Nature is, always writes itself.

[57:17]Nature is perfect.

[57:18]Okay?

[57:19]It's weird how that works.

[57:20]Now.

[57:20]Peter and Roger says.

[57:21]In 1990, Madonna releases a soundtrack with this song on it.

[57:30]This is on a soundtrack?

[57:33]The soundtrack is called I'm Breathless from what movie, Aaron?

[57:37]It's the character's name.

[57:42]And she's voluptuous in it.

[57:45]Is this on Dick Tracy?

[57:46]This is on Dick Tracy's soundtrack.

[57:48]What was on Dick Tracy?

[57:49]Yes.

[57:50]Holy shit.

[57:51]She released an entire Dick Tracy soundtrack.

[57:52]And we did talk about it a little bit.

[57:54]But guys, how crazy.

[57:55]Can you even explain to a kid?

[57:57]Like if I showed my kids Dick Tracy and I said, at one point in the United States, literally

[58:03]everyone was talking about this movie.

[58:04]You couldn't go to a birthday party sleepover.

[58:06]You didn't watch this movie.

[58:07]You didn't own this.

[58:08]Everybody owned this movie on VHS.

[58:10]Every babysitter in the world showed.

[58:12]Dick Tracy.

[58:12]Even better.

[58:13]I owned the NES game.

[58:15]I owned the NES Dick Tracy game, which had nothing to do with.

[58:18]There might've been those like still frames of like, here's a lady who's sort of.

[58:24]If I said right now, tell me an eighth of the plot of the movie, Dick Tracy, because

[58:29]you've seen it.

[58:30]I bet you a bunch.

[58:30]Could you tell me the plot?

[58:32]No, no.

[58:34]I mean, I think Warren Beatty plays like a private eye type and then Madonna is the

[58:38]femme fatale.

[58:39]You're just going through the cast list.

[58:40]That's not what I asked for.

[58:41]Yeah.

[58:42]No, no idea.

[58:42]Nope.

[58:43]No idea.

[58:43]Yeah.

[58:44]A little jacket, something like that.

[58:45]There's a, the light.

[58:46]Roger Rabbit in it.

[58:47]I can't remember.

[58:47]They use warm lighting on the set.

[58:49]I remember that.

[58:51]I don't remember.

[58:51]I barely remember anything from that movie.

[58:53]Oh, I might try to watch that tonight though.

[58:54]I've got a new TV.

[58:55]I've been checking out different various.

[58:57]Oh my God.

[58:57]It's way better for movies than sports, unfortunately, but I just think I'm still going to keep it.

[59:01]I'm not sure.

[59:02]I came out late at night and my wife was watching Dick Tracy.

[59:04]I would call an ambulance and have a wellness check on her.

[59:08]That would be the craziest thing if my spouse was watching Dick Tracy.

[59:12]It really is a man's world.

[59:13]Here's the deal.

[59:14]What song, what album beats Dick Tracy, 1990, Madonna at her hottest?

[59:20]Well, it's a little song.

[59:22]It's a little album called Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Them.

[59:25]Oh.

[59:26]By a guy named MC Hammer.

[59:27]Okay.

[59:28]And I was reminded that when I downloaded this video to make this soundtrack, you know

[59:35]how this video starts?

[59:36]No.

[59:38]It's a 30 second montage of people just opening envelopes.

[59:42]Giving MC Hammer awards for his song.

[59:44]It's the dopest thing you've ever seen for the song to be prefaced by the awards that

[59:50]that song you're about to hear has won.

[59:52]It's incredible.

[59:53]Yeah, that's incredible.

[59:55]I mean, this was an absolute phenomenon.

[59:57]Hammer was a phenomenon.

[59:58]My favorite.

[59:59]It's hard to argue with.

[60:00]My favorite is if you look up stories of Hammer, people being scared of Hammer beating the

[60:04]shit out of them.

[60:05]Yeah.

[60:06]There are a lot of stories.

[60:07]Or not even Hammer, his associates.

[60:09]Yeah.

[60:09]Where like, yeah, there's the famous interview where Too Short is like, oh, Hammer didn't

[60:13]have to pay anybody to fuck you up.

[60:16]Like, that's just how it went.

[60:17]Like, yeah, Hammer was a scary dude.

[60:19]How big was this fucking song, by the way?

[60:21]Hammer in the 2017 Warriors Parade.

[60:24]Hammer rode in the same float as the Oakland Mayor.

[60:26]So, so wonderful.

[60:27]That tells you everything you need to know.

[60:29]And I do want to remind you, I did have that cake at that football party with a hammer.

[60:34]And I would put the claw end into the cake and say, ding, ding, school's in, sucka.

[60:39]It's Hammer time.

[60:39]It's Hammer time.

[60:39]That is weird.

[60:42]I'm trying to think of how many girls I Frenched that night.

[60:44]How many girls?

[60:45]Oh, yeah.

[60:46]The answer is zero.

[60:47]Under 0.5.

[60:49]That's, I mean, I don't know.

[60:51]That's, Vogue is an incredible song.

[60:54]Incredible.

[60:54]You Can't Touch This is one of the all-time great, you know, top hits.

[60:58]Can you imagine, like, if you're Madonna and your Dick Tracy soundtrack doesn't get to

[61:03]number one because of MC Hammer, you'd just be like, well, hats off.

[61:05]What can I do about that?

[61:06]I mean, I think so.

[61:07]Like, the whole world bought that cassette tape.

[61:09]I don't know.

[61:09]Can I tell you, I didn't hear a lot of what you just said, because I was picturing my

[61:13]freshman year roommate, and I know-

[61:15]First time ever I'm talking, Rob didn't hear me.

[61:17]And I know that if I went to see my freshman year roommate now, like, if I had a room with

[61:21]him again, the chance of him having a male masturbator would be so high.

[61:25]This guy, I'll tell you right now, my freshman year roommate at St. Olaf-

[61:28]Wait, was his name also Rob?

[61:29]No, his name was Nick.

[61:30]Nick's?

[61:32]I didn't know Nick.

[61:32]You've heard the name.

[61:35]Okay, you know what?

[61:36]I'm going to type you the last name of the chat here.

[61:38]Because I'll tell you what.

[61:39]You'll also see how I spelled Nick.

[61:40]That's important.

[61:41]I can't say it.

[61:42]Oh, yeah.

[61:44]Okay.

[61:45]So that name.

[61:46]This guy would 100% own a male masturbator.

[61:49]Like, I'd show up, and this guy would have a male masturbator.

[61:51]Because I remember, I went to college, and I was like, oh, I'm just going to be best

[61:53]friends with my roommate.

[61:54]I'm going to meet his friends.

[61:55]It's going to be awesome.

[61:56]Not once, and this might surprise you, that not once did I think things would go wrong

[62:00]for me.

[62:00]Not once did I imagine that I would be rooming with one of the grossest, messiest, nerdiest

[62:06]people of all time.

[62:07]Yet, he's still there.

[62:09]He's still pulled tail.

[62:10]It was pretty impressive, I got to admit.

[62:12]Now, next up, 1991.

[62:15]This is a year later.

[62:16]She comes out with the Immaculate Collection.

[62:18]Okay.

[62:19]Oh, yeah.

[62:21]And, of course, I picked here.

[62:22]It's been on the list.

[62:22]The Like a Prayer version that's very popular on TikTok right now.

[62:26]I love this so much.

[62:27]Oh, it is?

[62:27]This is from Deadpool vs. Wolverine.

[62:30]It's like a redo.

[62:31]I was going to say, this is on the Deadpool soundtrack.

[62:32]Yeah, and it's so good.

[62:34]This is huge on TikTok.

[62:35]Huge.

[62:36]Well, I can see why.

[62:38]It's very good.

[62:39]Unfortunately, this Immaculate Collection, one of the greatest albums of all time, with

[62:46]so many hits, did not get to number one.

[62:48]I think I have Like a Prayer, not that version.

[62:50]I think I have Like a Prayer in my current top five songs list.

[62:53]Yeah, because we had this issue when John was on.

[62:56]I was like, play Like a Prayer.

[62:57]And he was like, you mean living on a prayer?

[62:59]And I was like, no, play Like a Prayer at a party.

[63:02]People are going to love it.

[63:03]That was one of the dumbest arguments I've heard in my life.

[63:06]That did not hit number one.

[63:08]Exactly.

[63:09]The album?

[63:09]The album did not hit it.

[63:10]Instead, there's an album.

[63:12]Wow.

[63:12]To the extreme.

[63:18]Oh, fuck.

[63:20]No.

[63:21]Now, I don't want to tease that we might have gotten a video voicemail.

[63:27]For one of the first times ever, we got a video voicemail.

[63:29]What the hell is a video voicemail?

[63:31]It's a voicemail that has a video in it.

[63:33]I mean, Aaron, listen.

[63:36]Machines can jack us off now.

[63:38]You think we can't get it?

[63:39]If we can't get voicemails with videos in them, we can.

[63:41]And I did.

[63:42]Right.

[63:42]Okay.

[63:43]Hey, robots.

[63:44]Aaron, robot women can talk to us all night.

[63:47]Hey, robot woman, tell me about your day at work.

[63:50]Yeah, I got Like a Prayer in my top five songs right now.

[63:54]Still there.

[63:55]Can you imagine if you asked your robot woman, what was your day like at work?

[63:59]How was the meeting today?

[64:01]How did it go?

[64:02]Oh.

[64:06]Oh.

[64:09]Vanilla ice, by the way.

[64:11]Huge.

[64:11]It was huge.

[64:13]I mean, that's true.

[64:13]It was huge.

[64:14]Oh, so I got a video voicemail of a member of the podcast doing karaoke to that entire song.

[64:19]And we will be watching it on the next episode.

[64:21]So that's a little teaser for Joe out there.

[64:23]Oh, I'm excited for that.

[64:25]Now, that's in my tickler file for sure.

[64:27]I mean, but were you, I remember that tape.

[64:30]I remember that whole vanilla ice tape.

[64:32]And that was banging.

[64:34]Vanilla ice when Ice Ice Baby came out.

[64:35]What makes vanilla ice so popular?

[64:38]Is it just like white wrapper?

[64:39]I mean, what is it that made him so huge?

[64:41]It was white wrapper.

[64:42]That was it.

[64:43]It was just, it was everybody who lived in places where I did, like where I did, wanted

[64:48]to be able to listen to hip hop.

[64:49]Because at the same time, what year was that?

[64:50]92?

[64:51]Yes.

[64:52]I mean, that's right after the Chronic.

[64:54]Oh, same year as the Chronic.

[64:57]I mean, all this stuff's going on.

[64:58]And then you go like, well, I really want to listen to this stuff.

[65:01]Oh, now I see a white guy doing it.

[65:03]And it was, he was from Miami or posed as he was from Miami, right?

[65:07]He's wearing like the hurricane stuff.

[65:08]Yeah.

[65:08]That's when the U.

[65:09]Yeah.

[65:09]Yeah.

[65:09]It was like, I mean, all of it was just like perfect storm of pop culture coming together.

[65:13]I think one way you could test to see if a Terminator was trying to infiltrate your human

[65:17]base in the future where women hook you up to milking machines would be to have them

[65:21]sing the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby.

[65:25]First couple of verses, third verse I'm not so familiar with, but I think every single

[65:29]human can do that.

[65:30]I think my dad, if I said, can you sing Ice Ice Baby?

[65:33]No way.

[65:34]Like stop, collaborate and listen.

[65:36]I guarantee.

[65:37]Maybe that part, he can maybe get that part.

[65:38]Every human can do that.

[65:39]If he couldn't do it, that person is a Terminator and they're there to try to see if they're

[65:45]there for the sex scene that was not shown in the movie.

[65:47]John Connor on the cutting room floor.

[65:49]One thing I need to survive is human interaction.

[65:52]I am lonely.

[65:53]I need love.

[65:55]I need love.

[65:56]I need Mr. Right, but I'll take Mr. Right now.

[66:00]Right now.

[66:01]Yeah.

[66:04]That's when the Terminator and John Connor were at that dad's night and it was like,

[66:08]well, that's yep.

[66:09]That's what we're doing.

[66:11]It's guy's night with the Terminator.

[66:13]What you do?

[66:14]Are we fucking or what?

[66:15]Yeah.

[66:16]Hey, I don't think the Terminator can get me pregnant.

[66:18]Wait a minute.

[66:20]I'm not worried about getting pregnant at all.

[66:21]You know what, Aaron?

[66:22]Glitch.

[66:23]Cheat code.

[66:24]Guys having sex with each other.

[66:26]Don't worry about it.

[66:27]Okay.

[66:28]No long-term consequences.

[66:30]Oh, no.

[66:32]Certainly not.

[66:32]Ask the 80s.

[66:33]Madonna.

[66:34]Erotica.

[66:34]Oh.

[66:36]1992.

[66:39]Oh, think about this.

[66:40]1990.

[66:40]Dick Tracy.

[66:41]1991.

[66:42]Mac of the Collection.

[66:43]It's a compilation.

[66:44]Is this the Black Pleasure-y video?

[66:47]Erotic.

[66:47]Is this the video that was like banned?

[66:49]Or was that sex?

[66:51]Wasn't there a video called sex?

[66:52]This might have been banned.

[66:53]This was like an S&M video.

[66:55]That's the way I heard it.

[66:56]That's the way I heard it.

[66:57]Right.

[66:57]There's a certain sex.

[67:01]Unfortunately, not number one because of an album called The Chase.

[67:05]Garth Brooks.

[67:08]That one.

[67:09]Oh, the pleasure principle is enjoying this one.

[67:14]So now, Aaron, think about this.

[67:17]Madonna has been cock-blocked by Garth Brooks.

[67:20]I mean, what could you do?

[67:21]Garth Brooks, 19?

[67:22]Yeah, Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Garth Brooks.

[67:25]I mean, yeah, these are...

[67:26]So this is what it takes to knock Madonna off of the number one.

[67:29]It was an absolute 10 million seller or whatever.

[67:32]1992 Garth Brooks.

[67:33]Can you think of anything more powerful in your life?

[67:35]I mean, just his head in 1992 was at...

[67:39]Maximum Garth size.

[67:40]Garth's head in 1992 was huge.

[67:44]It was giant.

[67:45]His black and white shirt made his head look even bigger.

[67:48]Everyone was listening to Garth all the time.

[67:50]And it was so funny because you know on the cover of his albums.

[67:53]His tours were going crazy.

[67:53]Somebody told Garth, they go,

[67:55]Garth, you're actually kind of a sex icon.

[67:57]Women love you.

[67:58]And so he had all these poses where he was like being sexy.

[68:00]Not once did he look like anything but a Macy's Day parade balloon

[68:04]with his huge head floating above this weird-ass shirt.

[68:07]Well, then it was always like...

[68:09]Super close-up.

[68:10]Yo, oh my God.

[68:11]Aaron just did the Garth close-up.

[68:13]And I...

[68:13]You know what?

[68:14]It's like an album cover.

[68:15]Just like...

[68:15]Kind of tuning me up.

[68:16]Yeah, shoving it.

[68:18]Yeah.

[68:19]Hmm.

[68:19]I wonder if I'm handy.

[68:21]I ordered that handy at Amazon now.

[68:22]I hope it's here.

[68:23]Next up, 97.

[68:27]Madonna Reaches releases another soundtrack album.

[68:31]Listen to this voice.

[68:34]She worked on it.

[68:35]Oh.

[68:39]Now, she did work on The Voice.

[68:42]I would also say 97 is where we start to see a lot of

[68:45]corrective things in the music industry as far as plug-ins

[68:49]and stuff you can do electronically.

[68:50]I'm not saying there's any connection.

[68:53]But I'm just saying.

[68:55]But I mean, this is, yeah, this is certainly...

[68:59]I mean, like, do we have a recording of Patti LuPone doing it?

[69:02]Like, I mean, is there a real...

[69:04]Let's see.

[69:04]Patti LuPone.

[69:06]Uh-oh, I almost put it...

[69:08]No, I don't even...

[69:09]You know what, Aaron?

[69:09]I'm not going to tell you.

[69:10]I'm not going to type it in the chat what I just put it in.

[69:12]Don't cry for me.

[69:13]I mean, I think Madonna's doing great.

[69:17]But, like, let's hear somebody really do it.

[69:18]Okay, here she is at the Grammys.

[69:19]All right.

[69:20]Oh, my God.

[69:25]This is where I should have edited it.

[69:26]Oh, yeah.

[69:28]Now everyone's stuck with us.

[69:29]Oh, yeah.

[69:32]Okay, here we go.

[69:33]Yeah.

[69:39]Good point.

[69:39]Oh, yeah.

[69:43]She's rocking it.

[69:44]Wow.

[69:48]Patti, don't hurt him.

[69:53]Yeah, that's fun.

[69:54]Yeah, that's fun.

[69:55]I mean, no shade.

[69:56]Madonna did her best.

[69:57]I just wanted to hear a Broadway person do it.

[69:59]Unfortunately, that album did not reach number one, Aaron.

[70:02]No way.

[70:03]Because you know what did?

[70:04]A little album called Tragic Kingdom.

[70:07]Oh!

[70:09]Okay.

[70:09]All right.

[70:10]I mean, again.

[70:11]I mean, come on.

[70:13]How many times did you hear No Doubt in 1997?

[70:16]One million?

[70:17]If I said one million, would you say no?

[70:19]Oh, it was all the time.

[70:20]Yes.

[70:21]I mean, crazy.

[70:23]Yeah.

[70:25]This is when we were like, wait, does Scott fucking rule?

[70:29]Do we all love fucking Scott?

[70:31]Are we all Scott out?

[70:33]Give it up.

[70:34]Give it up.

[70:34]Give it up.

[70:34]Yep.

[70:35]Turns out it was just the one great album.

[70:37]Yep.

[70:37]That was it.

[70:38]That was it.

[70:39]I might put this album on tomorrow.

[70:40]Even the singer was like, you know what kind of sucks is?

[70:43]The rest of my band.

[70:44]Maybe I'm going to do my own thing.

[70:46]Yeah.

[70:46]Maybe I'm going to do my own thing.

[70:47]Man, maybe I'll go out in the living room and put this album on and then watch Dick Tracy

[70:51]with the sound off.

[70:52]See how I sleep tonight.

[70:54]I can tell you, Aaron, if your wife came out and found you asleep with the Dick Tracy DVD

[70:59]menus just repeating and like a running candy going next to you, you'd just be like, boy,

[71:06]this guy's having a rough day.

[71:07]This podcast is a number.

[71:08]I understand.

[71:09]I get it.

[71:10]In 1998, Madonna reaches this album covered by a lot of great podcasts.

[71:17]I've heard.

[71:17]Oh, yeah.

[71:18]Ray of light.

[71:19]I would love to hear a podcast.

[71:20]98, 98, 98.

[71:22]So all these albums have been in eight years.

[71:24]It's a really nice intro.

[71:25]Very nice intro.

[71:27]It's a great song.

[71:27]Yeah.

[71:28]Unfortunately, Aaron, not number one.

[71:32]This one didn't hit number one either?

[71:33]This album did not hit number one.

[71:35]Nah.

[71:36]I know.

[71:37]But I'll tell you what.

[71:38]All the other albums I've shown you look like the smallest dot of nothingness compared

[71:47]to the album that cock-blocked this from getting to number one.

[71:49]Oh, really?

[71:50]MC Hammer, nothing.

[71:52]Vanilla Ice, nothing.

[71:53]Guard, nothing.

[71:55]Compared to the power of this next album.

[71:58]Are you ready for this, Aaron?

[72:00]This is the last album that cock-blocked Madonna from getting number one.

[72:03]Now, this is a soundtrack to a movie.

[72:06]Okay.

[72:07]Okay.

[72:08]It has the song, My Heart Will Go On.

[72:10]Oh!

[72:11]Theme from Titanic.

[72:12]Can you imagine?

[72:14]What else is on that soundtrack?

[72:15]Is it entirely just the score and then My Heart Will Go On?

[72:18]Titanic?

[72:19]Is it every track like Jack Hangs On?

[72:21]Like Jack's intro at dinner?

[72:23]No.

[72:24]Jack and Rose.

[72:24]Jack Paints Rose.

[72:26]Hey, listen.

[72:26]Like My Heart Will Go On?

[72:27]Your wife asks you to hook up the handy to sync with the movie Titanic.

[72:31]What do you do?

[72:31]I think you say, well, you listen.

[72:35]I learned that from you earlier.

[72:37]Oh, Aaron.

[72:38]That's what he said.

[72:39]God damn, you're good.

[72:40]First you listen and then you just pray you get done by the car scene.

[72:46]You got to get done by the first half of the movie.

[72:48]If you're still going the second half of the movie, if they're...

[72:51]If Billy Zane is trying to get women and children out of the lifeboats

[72:57]and you're rocking the handy, you're in for a bad time.

[73:00]Who does he know, man?

[73:00]If you associate masturbating with the sound of whistles from a boat

[73:07]identifying people, you're in for a bad time.

[73:08]People who are still living in the water, that's a bad night.

[73:11]Now listen, I wish I could edit out what I just said, but I can't.

[73:15]Okay, so I apologize instead.

[73:16]It's going straight out.

[73:17]This album, Aaron, I mean, imagine releasing an album

[73:21]and then the Titanic soundtrack hits.

[73:22]Who would have thunk it?

[73:24]No chance.

[73:25]Do you want to guess what Russell said when I played this song?

[73:29]That he's never seen Titanic?

[73:31]He saw it a year ago.

[73:32]Oh, that's even better.

[73:34]Can you imagine?

[73:35]I mean, as you say, I'm glad that Russell's...

[73:38]Russell's getting laid.

[73:38]That was easily in the top five.

[73:40]And you can't edit that out.

[73:42]That's a great point.

[73:43]You can't edit it out.

[73:43]That's a great point.

[73:44]So now we fit a real sticky time of the podcast, Aaron.

[73:49]Ooh.

[73:49]How do we land the plane?

[73:51]How do we end the pervert's pervert hour?

[73:55]Pervert hour.

[73:56]You're at pervert's corner.

[73:58]And I think the answer is,

[74:01]I just don't know how we end this.

[74:04]This is bad.

[74:06]I mean...

[74:07]Yeah, nothing.

[74:08]We've got nothing.

[74:09]We've been going all night.

[74:09]See, I should have had John show up.

[74:11]That would have been a real kick.

[74:12]We're going to go for 14 hours.

[74:14]That was just what we need.

[74:15]All right.

[74:16]I guess there's only one way to end it, folks.

[74:18]My name is Rob.

[74:20]My name is Aaron.

[74:22]Okay.

[74:23]And we're...

[74:24]Say it with me, Aaron.

[74:25]We're both perverts.

[74:27]Oh, I'm going to pass out.

[74:34]I'm going to pass out.

[74:38]We did it, Rob.

[74:39]We made you a dual podcast.

[74:42]Now what I'm going to do is I'm going to move my eyes up to where the time,

[74:46]how long we've been recording has gone for.

[74:47]Now, I promised you earlier, 30 to 45 minutes.

[74:49]I'm just going to check the time real quick.

[74:51]Whoa, it's an hour and 15.

[74:52]75 minutes.

[74:54]We did it.

[74:55]My alarm goes off in five hours, so I can go to a full day tomorrow.

[74:58]Oh, my God.

[74:58]Oh, Lord.

[74:59]But you know what, Aaron?

[75:00]You know what's happening after that work day?

[75:02]Flying to Las Vegas.

[75:04]I'm fucking going to Las Vegas, baby.

[75:06]Yeah!

[75:07]Yeah!

[75:08]Fuck yeah!

[75:09]I will see you there.

[75:10]All right.

[75:11]This is going to be awesome.

[75:12]All right, Aaron.

[75:12]I love you.

[75:13]Can you...

[75:14]Oh, here.

[75:14]Love you, Rob.

[75:14]I'm going to stop.

[75:15]You know what?

[75:16]I'm going to stop my recording right now.

[75:18]So all these little perv heads out there, that's what we call our fans, aren't going

[75:22]to be able to listen to any of this anymore.

[75:24]Bye, perv heads.

[75:37]Bye.

[75:37]Bye.

[75:37]Bye.

[75:38]Bye.

[75:38]Bye.

[75:38]Bye.