Beck Does It Again: TLC- Crazy Sexy Cool

[00:00]I do have a coffee. I am tired today, and you're going to find out why during my alone go on, okay? Oh, did you have to teach three classes? No, that's not it. It has to do with poor choices I made today after work. That might shock you. I'm here for that. In 2024, Francis, I... Do you think you make enough good choices in life to determine when you make poor ones or not? Oh. Like, is there a clear-cut line where you would know that was bad? I don't know when the last time is I made a good choice.

[00:30]Russ, let's keep... Russ, will you get a yellow legal pad for us? We need to put a... We need to get a... Put a line down the middle. On one side, we're going to put the good choices Rob made today. On the other side, we're going to put the bad. Rob, let's start off with a good choice. Two words. Stafford Interception. What a great choice, baby. The perfect bet. What a thrilling bet to make. People love our... Rob, Rob. Best things that we do on the pod. One is the maps thing. Number two is our sports gambling tip.

[01:00]They love it. That's what people love. Easy. They think it's great. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by Rolling Stone Magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Russell, here's the problem, though. We had two choices to make.

[01:30]So, we actually made the wrong decision because it was either Stafford get an interception or Love have it over... Was it over a 35-yard pass? No, 39 so far. 39. And both of them hit. So, we should have been parlaying that shit the whole time. Rob chickened out and just did one of them. Did you guys see there was a story about some guy who had like the biggest bet of the year, $3 million on the Eagles to beat Carolina coming up? I mean, I did hear that. I did hear that. How much do you guys want that guy to lose, right? Like, if anyone's got...

[02:00]Did he bet $3 million on the favorites so that it's $3 million to win $3 million in one? Somebody might have said we should be betting on Carolina all year. Our super secret gambling text chain has already covered this. We are betting against this guy, okay? It's called hedging our bets against some loser that's willing to bet $3 million on the favorites and then advertise it. Like, who would tell everybody that? What a loser. It's nothing like bringing up pop culture events with your friends and realizing they've already talked about it with your other friends. Wow, yeah. I'm not on that text chain. Are you, Russell?

[02:30]No, I'm not. Oh, that's the pay-to-play text chain. That's the Patreon text. You guys don't want to be on that text chain. I'm not willing to risk it all. Not lately. I don't want to be on that lately. I'm saving you guys from that text chain. Trust me. $500. There's lots of, oh, that was a good idea until it wasn't type text. We're like, oh, that was a great bet. It didn't matter if it hit or not. It was fun. Aaron, it really makes you wonder how the text chain started. Like, it had to be Aaron and Russ, I hope they don't come to Vegas this year, and then they started talking about something else, right? Right, how's this happen?

[03:00]It's like everyone going to Vegas except for Aaron and Russ. That's our dream is having less guys come to Vegas. Okay? And plus, Russ has to come. Otherwise, who's Joe going to stay up with? And that Saturday night when we're all like, okay, we're going to bed. It's four in the morning. Russ is like, one more table. I believe you were squatting people in the casino on that. I was still in bed at that point. Sunday night. We were squatting women. We were squatting women. I was also. Did Jenny know about that? Did she see the pictures? She'd be pissed at us. Are you saying that when I,

[03:30]I took the woman by the crap stable and then said I could squat you and then I'd put her on my back and squatted her? I don't think she's seen those pictures, but they have come up on the digital picture frame. What do you think is the heaviest human you could squat? Because that's different than squatting a barbell, right? 350 pounds. Maybe I could do 400. You could do two of us, probably, if we chose the right two. Yeah, you, listen. No, yeah, if we chose the right two. You listen, listen. Aaron, you and I might be over Rob's limit. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, we're going to have to be. Yeah, you're right. I think I can squat.

[04:00]I can squat anybody until they get their own show on TLC. You know what I mean? And when you get your own show, that means I can't squat you anymore. You know what I mean? Like, if your weight is the title of the show, I've done a squat of you. The most embarrassing part was when Rob was squatting that woman in Vegas. He had to put, like, plates underneath his heels, you know, like amateurs that have to have little help to get them down and up. It was just amateur. Well, I was, you know, I had to wait for him to put his lifting shoes on. He's like, I can do this, but I got to run into my room first. My knee sleeves. Put my mouth guard in. Get my smelling salts.

[04:30]I had to pick up slightly smaller women to warm up with. I swear to God, I'm warming up. He got a wide stance. So really, he just went down about three inches and then back up. He's like, just a complete cheater. That's bullshit. Don't ever say that again. Back to Blackjack Dealer. Back to Blackjack Dealer spotting him from behind. I always squat to depth, man. Don't even joke about that. And we're up to album 218. And from, ooh, look at that. It's 1994. It's TLC with Crazy Sexy Cool. Do we have two albums in a row from 1994?

[05:00]Well, definitely, maybe it was 1994. I couldn't see the stage in a row. Wow. Hold on. Rob. Let me shut the fuck up while we're talking. Rob's trying to tell a joke. He's telling a joke. I know. TLC is one of the few. Does nobody have any respect for a comic's comedic timing? Nobody? Sorry. Be quiet. You know the secret to telling a good joke timing. TLC is named after, one of the few bands named after a TV station. Okay. Which reminds me of when I went and saw TLC.

[05:30]I've heard this before. When I went and saw Spice in concert, but I couldn't really see him that well. All right. Oh, that's a pretty good joke. I get it. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. It's a good joke. It's a good thing you're on Spotify. No, good thing you're on Audacity so we can actually hear you laughing. It's got to be something when you come downstairs and you see your kid jerking it to a scrambled channel. You're just like, God, this kid's got problems. You know what I mean? You can't even imagine something better than what you're looking at right now. You can't imagine something better than these lines

[06:00]moving around. Just terrible. Not a creative. I mean, there's audio too, right? How many times do you think your parents actually witnessed you in the act? Oh, God. I don't think, well, now that I'm an adult, I'm thinking it's a lot more than I thought. Like, they probably knew. You know what I mean? It's like, this kid's really... This kid's really sleeping under the blanket in the back of the car. Oh. Like, okay, sure. All of a sudden, he's so sleepy. I have to tell this story.

[06:31]One of the complimentary movie guys who has never called in, he's the one who's never called into the podcast, and I'm sure has never listened. Him and his girlfriend, they were probably late teens, early 20s, did a road trip with his parents, and he had sex with his girlfriend in the back of a van while his parents were in the front seat driving down and claims they didn't notice. What are your thoughts? There's no way. No way.

[07:00]There's no way. Come on. What could you do? I mean, if you look back and your kids were having sex in the back of the car, you could just be like, uh, do I, like, you stop the car? Like, slam on the brakes and act like you're having car troubles? I don't know what you'd do. Like, I mean, like, that's the story. Aaron, what is your problem, Aaron? Why are you so perverted? You want the full thing? I mean, come on. Oh, he's probably reaching under his shirt and touching her breast. Ugh. Aaron's like, oh, I'm disgusted by this story. No, I'm just saying, like, how would you disguise if you were, like, fully doing the thing, you know?

[07:32]You would need a big seatbelt. You know what I mean? Like, you're pulling that seatbelt all the way out. First, you need a big seatbelt. You're right. This is bad, Russell. Well, Johnny, why'd you order these extended seatbelts from Ace Auto, from O'Reilly's Auto Parts? Russell, was it a full van? Was it, like, a swivel chair? Like, could you swivel that chair all the way to the back and be like, hey, don't mind us back here? I don't know what the size of the van is. Like, given the timing, like, when minivans were big,

[08:01]I know minivans were... My guess is it's a regular, like, a silhouette. Is that a minivan? I'm guessing it's a three-row minivan. Wow. But I could be wrong. I don't think it's, like, a full-on van with, like, four rows. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, it's not a passenger van. He's not getting shuttled to the hotel. It's, like, a family van. That would be... You think you could pull it off, Rob, or not? Absolutely not. No, why not? Are you kidding? They'd be like, why do you keep saying is it in back there? Oh, no. You don't? Why?

[08:30]Stop saying that. Speaking of coming and going, Weird thing to say. Let's get right... Don't mind me, but I do need some Gatorade. Could we stop and get some Gatorade? I've got a terrible cramp. I cramp my hamstring. All right. Let's get into... You know what, guys? I say today for TLC, let's turn on the radio and just see what's on. I think this is... It's not a big deal. Okay, maybe we're all looking forward to a song. But maybe I'm not going to talk about how great my songs are anymore, okay? I've learned my lesson. Wait, wait, wait. I'm now humble. We're back to doing

[09:00]the parody songs? Baby, we never left. I love it. Back like cook crack. Throwback. Throwback episode. Welcome to KROB. K-R-O-B. Oh, Russell, come on in. Yeah, we're going to... We're going to have Thanksgiving. Yeah, take off your shoes there. We can... Oh, take off your shoes. Buzzer. Buzzer. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, I told you to stop it, Russell. Don't worry about it. They just get a little... They just get a little... They get a little protective. That's all. It's going to be fine.

[09:30]It's just... Okay, well, you were a little aggressive. Don't stand... Don't look them right in the eye, Russell. Oh, yeah. Russell's getting ready for Thanksgiving and he's eating with his roommate's relatives. This weekend, Russell just wants to relax. Sometimes his hearing can be so sensitive. Woo!

[10:00]Russell brought a gift. It's a bottle of wine. But he was worried when he knocked down the door. Oh, it's a gas. He heard a dog bark. He said, one dog is fine. But then it turned out there were six dogs more. What was he thinking? Russell doesn't like... your dogs at all. He flinches at the parking

[10:31]that everyone else is used to. He can't hear what anyone is saying at all. Plus, there was those three or four cats. Russell feels like he's eating in a zoo. It's like he's dining out in Noah's Ark. Russell can think

[11:00]of lots of better dates where he doesn't have to jump at every bark. Russell pretends that he likes the dogs because he wants the family of his roommate to like him. But Russell planned to leave this party at about 3 p.m. But he was out the door before 2.10. He was leaving.

[11:31]Russell doesn't like your dogs at all. He thinks that they should all be kept outside. When his roommate asked if he had fun with her family, he said yes, but he actually lied. Oh, no, no, no. Gotta believe that. Now, I was gonna... I was gonna rhyme euthanize at the end there

[12:01]somehow, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. Oh, God. The worst is, this is Rob's comedic timing again off. A few weeks ago, he insisted on doing an inappropriate beat song that we couldn't play. And he could have done Creep with Feet this week easily and... Just when you guys thought I was gonna do Creep with Feet, I switch it up. I knew you guys thought I was gonna do Creep with Feet. Listen, this is Back to the Better. We're talking about the greatest, 500 albums of all time. According to Rolling Stone magazine, we are talking about

[12:30]TLC Creep, a song, an album that came out when I was 14. It's right, it hits me right in the heart, but I've got three guys here. Right? Right in the heart or right below the belt? Tell the truth. I've got three guys here who are getting a ride in my passenger side. And they're leaning out to holler at somebody. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, I've been watching you, and you've been watching me, and I know you want this podcast. Oh, wow. Let me kick a little game with you. Oh, guys, this album.

[13:00]I'm just going to say for a couple of these songs, we're going to be watching the videos, okay? We're going to be doing some live streaming. I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing today? Good, Rob. Sorry there. I had a little prickle in my throat. People try to say you act a little funny, Rob, but that's just a figure of speech to me. Oh, wow. Thank you so much. I'll take that as a compliment. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron said that he wouldn't mind getting shot if the bullet said, this guy has a big, big dick on them. Oh, no. You stole my joke from next week.

[13:30]Rob, if I was your girlfriend, would you let me undress you? Let's talk about TLC and Creed. Listen, this guy, I just found something on these bullets. They all say this guy has a big dick and you see Aaron's corpse like turned into a smile like, yes, this is going to be in the news. Guys, we cannot, we can't listen. We cannot turn this into a manhunt podcast because it's all I want to talk about. I don't want to talk about it. It's still out there. I'm out. I'm out. Russell and I talked earlier before the podcast that Russell is 100% disinterested in this fascinating story. Good for you, Russell. Your life's better for it. Thank you. Yep. Yep. No, I am, of course,

[14:01]I do go to work and I stopped right at that city bike at the station that that guy took off into the park. Okay. I fully inspected the next day to see if I could find any clues. Okay. Did you know that allegedly you can like hack into the system and just see where the bikes are going and who's renting what bikes and what time they take off? I saw somebody on Twitter was doing that. He's like, I just happened to scrape data every minute for where all the city bikes are. I was like, oh, you're a creep. You're the, you're the creep of the apartment. You're looking for people on their bikes. Yeah. Oh, you're okay. You're a weirdo. Thank you. Good to know.

[14:30]Okay. Good to know who I should block on Twitter. Not that I'm on Twitter anymore, by the way, Beck did it better is officially off Twitter. I am too, man. It was bad for my mentals. It is now on blue sky where it is now following not as much. There's not as much sex stuff going on in blue sky. I will say that, but I will tell you right now, tick tock guys, all my tick tock is all the Beck did about tick tock is right now is attractive women in the office walking toward you. I don't know how I got there. I don't know why I'm there, but I like every video and I feel I cannot let anyone

[15:00]know that that's what my videos are. Okay. Don't tell anybody. I won't tell anybody. Keep that under your hat on the download. Hey, at least it's not just tick tocks of Rudy Gobert interviews because I'm not saying it's me, but someone in this household has got a thing for Rudy Gobert interviews. I'm just saying. I can't believe they don't tell me. It's just the interviews. It's not even the game. It's just the interviews. Bobster's roommate is now super, super into not only the wolves, but has to watch all the postgame interviews. I've been there. She wants to hear what Chris Finch

[15:30]has to say about every game. I love it. I've been that person. I just got a text. She's listening the next morning. Just enjoy it. Just let it wash over you. Enjoy it. I love it. I just got a text saying Draymond Green is a big baby. He just got a technical foul for arguing. She's got thoughts about Draymond Green, Aaron. He's playing tonight? I thought he wasn't playing tonight. He can't be recording. We're going to be watching Wolves Warriors. Listen. Do the music. Listen. That was my Rudy Gobert impression. No joke whatsoever. I had no joke to follow that up with. What would be a good Rudy Gobert joke? It's like his playoff

[16:00]career number, his career playoff number. Oh, Aaron. Why would you bring that up, Aaron? That is a joke. You asked for Rudy Gobert jokes. The last time I ever make my Iowa State lock is my college football pick of the week, Aaron. Oh, no. Don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. People from Lakeville knows what I'm talking about. Let's get right into it. Let's get into the voicemail. Well... Started out with a kiss How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss It was only a kiss

[16:30]Now I'm falling asleep And she's calling Us on the back line. Oh, my God. 802-277 Again, I forget it's there. 802-277-2325 Every time. Dude, as someone who has attended his fair share of comedy open mics, let me tell you, that shit was hilarious. Yes. You killed it. I hope you will continue to perform. That was such tight set that was well thought out and well done. Awesome job. That is a voicemail from let's give it up for our number one fan. It's Magic Mike.

[17:01]Nice. All right. Magic Mike left a message saying that it was actually a good set and I did a great job, which is good news because guess what's happening again on Tuesday? Are you performing at Magic Mike Night 69? I am performing at Open Magic Mike Night 69. Yes. I am telling a couple new jokes. Okay, guess what? Wife's pubic hair bit, out. Yeah. Yes, I agree. Wife's boob and butthole bit, in. Okay, we're switching it up. Junior mint one?

[17:30]We're doing the junior mint. We're doing the sand monsters. Okay, we're doing the my wife's breasts look like they're reading a book and then you look down like this. You know what I mean? Oh, you can't. No, not as recorded. You can't. They look like pillows that I've been sleeping on for five years. Oh, no. You should change your pillow. Like, you shouldn't sleep on the same pillow for five years. It's bad for your neck. Tell me about it. I mean, I knew you were a belly sleeper. Did I tell you what I did? I, okay.

[18:00]I messaged, I put out, does anybody have a pillow for a side sleeper? And my old Achilles heel, a girl I had a crush on in high school, messaged me. Wearing a person dead t-shirt. Oh, yeah, tell me about it. Here is the pillow you need. That got edited out, Aaron, by the way. That got edited out. Nobody knows what we're talking about. Now you sound like the creep. But she messaged me and she said, hey, here's a pillow I really like. It's a Tempur-Pedic. So it's like a very hard memory foam pillow.

[18:30]Okay? So of course, I buy it. Sight unseen. 150 bucks. Buy it. Don't even think about it. Just do it. Guess what? I can't even put my arm under it. It's not for side sleepers. It's for like back sleepers. So this pillow I bought is now just sitting by the side of my bed. It's totally useless. We need to diagram this out. I'm not sure how we're going to do this on a podcast. So your side sleeping method is, arm under the pillow? Yes. That's fine. I go with that one. I'm that way too.

[19:00]Arm. Yes. I'll go with an arm. Pillow is in between the crook of the arm and the head. What are you doing, Aaron, that there's no arm under the pillow? I guess I just keep my arms. Are your arms at your side? I think so. Are your arms at your side and your face down? Yeah. No, I'm generally a side sleeper too, but I guess I've never put the arm under the pillow. I've got a rotator cuff there. Where's that other arm at, Aaron? Where's that other arm at? It just shows that Aaron's not that big of a guy because the idea of lying on one of my arms, it would instantly fall asleep. Like my arm under the pillow falls asleep.

[19:30]I wake up and this thing's basically been neutered off my body. It's all tingly. And I wake up in the morning with a tingly arm and I'm like, hmm, I wonder what I should do now. Matt, that's usually your comedy bit. The stranger. Yeah. Yeah. The stranger. Matt's watching something. Matt's watching sports. I'm trying to find my pillow because I was going to... I got like a $120 pillow. Go to mypillow.com That's where you bought all your pillows. That's what you told me earlier. Yeah, they can't get to that website. I don't like his pillows,

[20:02]but he's got some good ideas. What is your pillow, man? I'm trying to find it. I was going to try to find a time to go find my phone. My phone's upstairs. I could go get it. I think we bought it on Amazon. I washed it. I tried to wash it one time. Washed the wrong thing. What? Washed your pillow? How do you get a new one? Oh, yeah. You put the whole pillow in the wash? You can wash pillows. Oh, okay. No, that's not true. That's actually new to me, too. That's not true. That can't be true. Google washing. Just Google it right now. Washing.

[20:30]Can you wash your pillow? You kind of have to, right? Or otherwise, you should be throwing it away at some point. Arthur Stewart says, how to wash your pillow the right way. You put it in. Okay, a mix of dead skin and dust mites. I do know pillows gain like three pounds after like five years because they're getting all your dead skin in there. Pillows should be cleaned every three to six months. Oof. Okay. That would be, I'm 44 years old, so that should have been, I should have cleaned my pillows 88 times. I have cleaned them zero times. I have never cleaned

[21:01]my pillows ever. That's crazy. How do machine wash pillows? Pre-treat stains. Okay. Okay, I'm done. I'm closing this site. Pre-treat stains. Okay, Rockefeller, I got all the time in the world pre-treating stains. Get the fuck out of here. Can you imagine if someone caught you and you're like, what are you doing today? I'm like, I'm washing my pillow. You'd be so ashamed, right? You just throw it in. What's he throw it in? What's he throw it in with the rest of your? Listen. You got your comforter. That's got to go in by itself. But then you got your sheets and your pillowcases and you throw the pillow

[21:30]in with it. Is there anything that ruins a night when you and your spouse come home and you're just ready to hop in bed at just getting like a Friday night, you're ready for a long sleep. You don't have to do a podcast. I mean, you don't get to do the podcast that night. You're ready for a long sleep and you go to your room and the bed is not made. You forgot that you had washed the sheets and it's a bare bed and now you have to work together to make the bed and it's the worst. Except, you know what I make my wife do when we do that? You go to bed earlier than you. I lie down on the bed

[22:00]when we put the bottom sheet on and then I make her fluff the top sheet on top of me because that's what my dad used to always do to me. Like all the way through when I was in college, he would come in and then fluff the sheet on me and then put a pillow on me. Oh, they put a blankie on me. Oh, so night when Jenny first slept over my house when we were first married, my dad tucked her in. Okay, there's something I wish I wouldn't have said. Whoa. Let's move on to Rollin' Going. It is time. I thank God, man, that got up to get his phone. He'll never know what I said. That's a truly bizarre thing you just said. Yeah, he did the thing

[22:31]where she was, oh, okay. Never mind. Never mind. Okay. Matt, I didn't say that my dad tucked my wife into bed one time. Rollin' Going, Aaron. Huh? Nothing. Aaron, wouldn't you want me, how about this, Aaron? We're going to Vegas soon. Yeah. Okay, January. Yep. I'll tuck. January 18th through the 21st. New York, New York. We'll see you there. I will tuck you in, Aaron, to your bed. I'll come to your room

[23:00]and I'll tuck you in. You lie down. I'll put a sheet. I'll kind of blow it up on top of you. Okay, I'll pick up that top sheet. I'll tuck you in all tight. And in fact, it'll be the tightest you've ever been in a bed. It's going to be so tight it's going to blow your mind. We'll shove that pillow in between the crook of his arm. Yep, yep. You can lie face down or however you sleep, whatever messed up way you sleep. Okay? If a guy that looks like Dauber comes into the room, it's normal. Just let it happen. I don't know who my roommate is yet. We had a, there was somebody left, it was like a hanging chat out there. Like, hey, who's going to room with who? And I was like, whoa,

[23:30]it feels like kind of early to be doing rooming assignments. Like, let's let, let's let this thing ride until January. It felt like, it felt like a premature commitment. Yeah, right? Like, I don't know who I'm going to be sleeping with for until after the new year. We got to see how this plays out. Maybe Aaron wants a room with me. You never know. We're going to switch it up. But Aaron comes into rooms with me. All right? We end up going hiking together. Yes. You know, you know that can't happen because you're the only one who can stay with Dave. Yeah. You guys got to get your smoking room.

[24:01]You got a special, special thing going on. Anytime we have a smoking room, I smoke in the shower and I'm like, this is terrible. I feel awful. That's amazing. I do want to have a cigarette in the shower. That's incredible. If you were going to do the smoking room, Rob, who would be your preferred roommate from the people going on the trip this year? I think Matt and I have roomed together before. Haven't we, Matt? Oh, yeah. You guys got caught watching Draft Day one afternoon. The only problem rooming with Matt is that I do end up buying, every time I'm with Matt, I end up buying T-shirts

[24:31]that at the time I think are very funny. And then when they show up, it's the, I make the THX noise when I come shirt. Oh, look at this shirt. This is great. Oh, yeah. You got to buy that. When am I ever going to wear this? Matt, bad T-shirts on the notepad right here. Yellow notepad right there. There you go. You don't think a MasterCard Sex With Me priceless shirt was worth it? That's crazy. Aaron, we're only going on as we're going with you. Hold on. One thing. Well, last time we stayed together, remember when Russ was just all of a sudden in our room?

[25:00]We're like, how are we doing, Russ? I wasn't in your room. I was in Rob's bed. Yeah, you thought we were in your room. We're like, Rob's just kind of hanging out like waiting for what's going on here, Russ. Yeah. I should have tucked Russell in. I'm going to tuck one of you guys in. Okay, get ready to get tucked. I'm going to tuck you so hard. I'm not opposed if you want to tuck me in. I guess it's fine. You know what, Aaron? I can tuck you. I can finger tuck you. No. I can tuck you in from behind. Oh.

[25:30]None of these are sounding good. There's so many ways I could tuck you in. I could tuck you in hard. I could tuck you in soft. It doesn't matter. I could tuck a lot of different ways. I'm going to go for soft, I think. I'm not sure. Whatever's the fastest. I'll tell you what. After I do it, you're going to be a family that lives forever. That tuck is going to be everlasting. Oh! I did not see Tuck Everlasting coming up on the show today. Okay, go ahead. I mean, that's... That might be the joke of the entire podcast. 218-plus episodes.

[26:00]We nailed it. Goodbye. Tuck Everlasting. Rob's also going to have a funny haircut and be wearing a big brown robe and be playing Brian Adams while he fryer-tucks you into that bed. Everything I do Everything I do Everything I do Everything I do Yes, Russell. I do it for you as I tuck it, my fingers brush it. No, it's true. My fingers brush your face as you close your eyes. Raise your hand if you may or may not have had a small streak

[26:30]of time in the last few weeks when you listened to the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves soundtrack. Whoa. Is it just me? Russell is getting laid. You love to hear it. You love to hear it. Aaron, roll and go. I was going with you. It's really good. It's mostly good. I had a kind of rough experience tonight. I'm wondering, like, what have you guys had the experience where a takeout spot just falls off and it's like you've been been to the takeout spot

[27:00]a few times and maybe it's been like a while since you went and then you go back and it just so the Thai spot in Rockridge Thai food. That's mine, too. Yeah, it's always been OK. Like the one in Rockridge has been good. It doesn't have sticky rice. Wallace wants sticky rice, but we can usually talk him into going down there because they got egg rice rolls. It's fine. They got a catfish dish down there. I like they switched up the catfish from fillets to steaks. Have you guys dealt with fish steaks in your lives? I don't think so. Oh, man. Like, what the hell are you

[27:32]talking about? Fish steaks. A steak is a fish cut. You know, now I've heard of mistakes, but fish steaks. You know, a fish steak is basically instead of doing a fillet, you take a take a fish and if my arm is the fish, you cut it in cross sections. So it's like you cut it like it's a carton. You're just cutting it so you can see. Yeah. And I make this mistake about once every three years. I buy I buy salmon steaks because I'm like, oh, look at that. It's beautiful. It looks like I'm like, that's what that's what a man would eat. Right. And then like I cook it up

[28:00]and I can't get it cooked right. And then there's a you got to deal with like bones in a way that you weren't used to dealing with bones. It never works out. And yeah, I deal with those bones. The fish steaks from or switch the catfish from fillets to steaks and the whole thing was off. And so what do you get? I mean, obviously I got to like not go back. But have you guys had that experience where like your solid spot just turns south? Road Osha. Road Osha, the Thai spot in Minneapolis. No. Road Osha went south? Well, it was on 26th and Hennepin.

[28:30]Yeah. So, you know, a little bit north of Lake Street, but not quite, you know, to like Lowry neighborhood, you know, kind of a deal. So like straight over from the wedge, but not. Yeah. A little bit, a little bit south of the wedge. Okay. Kind of by kind of by what's the they got Lake Lake is it Lake? Like the Chipotle Lake or whatever. Yeah. And south of one parking lot keeps flooding. Oh my God. Right. Yeah. So that used to be a standalone, a standalone building, right? It had its own restaurant.

[29:00]It was cool restaurant inside. The guy that owned the building ended up selling it to put up a Dave Paradise, put up a parking lot, but it was like a CVS with a drive-through now or something stupid like that. That's what we need. So then Road Osha had to move. I need condoms. Hello, I need condoms. No, not that many. No, not that. What is that? Ribbed. Can you get some of the body washed out of that locker while you're at it too, right? Herb. Geez. Why is that guy putting

[29:30]poking pins in these? What? Do you have anything that's the opposite of lube? There's too much lube. What's the opposite? Too little? Sand? I'm putting down kitty litter. I don't know what to do. Oh God. What? What? Oh man. How would you do? How would you do that? I don't know. Guys, don't think about it. Can you guys stop letting me interrupt you so much? Please. Road Osha had to move to Calhoun Square, which you can't call Calhoun Square anymore. It's called Five Crowns, which is at

[30:00]Edipen Lake. Wait, it's not called Calhoun Square anymore? No, because Lake Calhoun is now Bede, La Casca. So everything that's got Calhoun is out. Is Famous Is Out still there? Nothing. No, that closed as well. That's really turned into quite the... Now we can't go to Aaron's favorite restaurant, Colonizers. So it's changed hands about three times and it's still okay. It's still okay.

[30:30]But they don't put cashews in anymore. A big cashew guy. Hello. A big cashew guy. You know? And so, and it's just, and they only take, the restaurant only needs about half its space. And so when you go in to pick up the food, the back half is like just dark. And so it's just, it's just a weird setup and weird layout. So we've been going to... Russell perked up though. Russell perked up when you said the back of the restaurant was dark. He's like, sounds like a good date. Yeah. There's another Thai place across Hennepin

[31:01]on the other side. So kind of by the, used to be the Apple store. Now it was, there's a new venue there that used to be a movie theater. What's that venue? Isn't it a concert venue right there? Russell went there this summer. The Granada? Yeah. Yeah. But right next to there, I think it's a... But there's nothing more heartbreaking, Aaron, than your favorite takeout place just starting to go downhill. I know, man. And you end up sticking with them until the very, very end,

[31:31]which is also the very sad thing. Yeah. So we've been trying to find a new Thai place. Well, I'll be, yeah. Nothing's quite like it. I mean, I'll be sticking with Soy Ford because it's right next to George and Walt's where I can get a bonded Jack Daniel's rye and a Death in Texas for $9. So, I mean, what am I supposed to do? Well, I'm waiting for my takeout, but have a little shine of beer. The pizza place on Roosevelt Island has a problem right now. Basically, here's the deal. They cannot deliver a pepperoni pizza. What about a cheese pizza?

[32:00]They can deliver a cheese pizza, but there is no option for a pepperoni pizza on their app. So if you want... Okay, this is crazy. So when my kid wants pizza, I have to tell her, okay... Let's order a pizza right now. Let's go see this. This can't be true. So here's the deal. I told my daughter, I was like, do you want a pepperoni pizza? You got to go pick it up. You need to walk 100 yards and go pick it up or they'll deliver it and it's cheese and every time she would pick the cheese. She's so lazy. She's like, I'll just take the cheese.

[32:30]I don't care. It doesn't matter if it's not what I want. Yeah, that's amazing. You can get your own pepperonis and put them on there if you want. Russell, you went out and what happened with your nephew? We went to a restaurant where the tavern in Apple Valley, I'd recommend it. It's kind of by my mom's house. There's a tavern, off of France. You know what they call that? You know what they call that? I believe it'd be the Tavern on France. Tavern on France. There's a few of those. There's one up in Blaine. There's one in Apple Valley, which is South Metro, I would say, Matt. There's one in Blaine called. The thing is,

[33:00]is that this is exactly, you guys are joking, but this is exactly what people from the cities sound like when they talk. They think it's so fun to remember like these little roads. What is the cities? What are you talking about? What's the cities? Anywhere from Blaine all the way up to like, I don't know, Forest Lake. All the way down to Lake, Lakeville, the whole thing. Now I'm doing it. It calls a tavern. But we go to this restaurant and get, you know, burgers, pizza, salads. They got everything. Huge menu, right? And my nephew is running off the kid's menu and he orders pizza with like sausage,

[33:31]no cheese. And I was like, damn, and he liked it. So I'm like, power to you if that's what you like and you don't want the cheese. Do they do the thing where they like, you get a little notepad and you're like checking off what you want on it and stuff? No, no. They took the order, man, and they nailed it, right? And I was kind of worried because I feel like that's like a 51% chance that gets messed up, right? Yeah. Is this kid, is this kid probably smarter than all of us because, you know, ever since Rob was talking about his tummy

[34:00]with ice cream and stuff, I've realized that, you know what, I've got that same affliction. I just, it's a, if I love ice cream, but it's going to be two days of rolling the dice. Oh. Let me tell you. Wow. You know what I think would be nice in that situation, though, is no mozzarella but like a little sprinkling of Parmigiana. Like, I think that'd be nice. Just like the No. Sausages and cheese. That's what my nephew also said here. He was like, could you guys please sprinkle a little Parmigiana on there? That's what I'm talking about, man. Me and your nephew should hang out. I'll tell you when to stop. Can you,

[34:30]you guys, I hate to say this, but you guys are actually the problem right now with America. Russell should have immediately picked up his nephew and spanked him. This is not appropriate to get a pizza without cheese. At some point, an adult needs to step in and say, no, you're just ordering a bread with meat on it. Okay, this is a sandwich. This is an open-faced sandwich. I'm going to argue the same thing about a cheese pizza. It's not the cheese. You need cheese on a pizza. That's like, put some meat on it. I think any of the pizza I would say that pizza

[35:00]is more masculine, Aaron. Yeah. Or Rob said that the pizza no cheese, that the cheese pizza. Just give it to me. Just give me the bread and the sauce. Maybe throw some meat on there if you want. You put way more meat and less cheese. You know what, Russell? Yeah. That is a masculine pizza. That's like a pizza that a man would eat. You're a hundred percent right. Yep. The bandwagon. Wow. Can I ask you, Rob? Is either of you guys getting tripped out by Rob's shirt at the angle of the lines? Yeah. A little bit. You guys are lucky I'm wearing a shirt today. It's fucking freezing

[35:30]in this apartment. I think some kid has a window open. It's so cold here. It's crazy. All right. Let's get it. Oh, we are in Rolling. That was my Rolling going. So that was it for me. I was Rolling going with Rob in his trippy shirt. Listen. As you guys know, tonight was one of my biggest drinking nights of the year. That's why I'm so tired. It was the holiday tree lighting at Roosevelt Island. Okay. Where they light the tree and they bring out Santa and it's freezing

[36:00]and it's me and a bunch of little kids. And once again, I do what I did every year. I drank two drinks too many and I went and I yelled at Santa. Okay. So I now have some tape that I'm going to play of you guys of me at the Christmas tree lighting festival. Okay. It's going to be happy last Santa. Oh God. Yeah, Santa. That girl's staring at you. And you can see Santa's only like 10 feet away. This time he came to me. I'm very excited about Santa. Santa,

[36:31]yeah. And then if you go to the next video that's in my camera roll. your daughter, she's concerned about getting you kicked out of the tree lighting. No, that's my friend Nicole. Ah. Okay. She wasn't that concerned. Rob has all his videos and pictures up. There's no one, Santa. Oh my gosh. He's right here. Woo. He's holding up a big Yenny tree like a mere hours ago. Oh yes. So then, I've been- Rob has the top 1%

[37:00]of selfies in his phone. I guarantee it. I love selfies. You should always take pictures. You know what's boring? A picture of the Grand Canyon. I can look it up and lie and say it. You know what's not boring? A picture of me with the Grand Canyon behind me. Yelling at Santa. Yelling at Santa. This is not a picture of me. This is not a picture of me. This is not boring. But, well, first of all, this is a big event for my family. I've been texting about it all day with my kids saying, are you guys excited for Santa? Are you guys excited for Santa? Jenny's saying, it seems like it's very cold out. I don't want to go. Everyone's saying, I'm doing something. I'm busy. And me forcing everybody to go.

[37:30]And then my older daughter did something. Oh no. She announced that she was bringing a boy. Nice. And she wanted me to meet this boy. Is he 6'2"? Wait, this is different than the other boy? The boy is, I believe, taller than me. Okay. Which was, psychically harmful. Except for, when he did come in the apartment. Now, here's the question I had. Do I hit him with the, when I shake his hand, do I hit him with the, hey, I'm Mr. Okay? Or do I hit him with the,

[38:00]I'm Rob. You have to bleep that out. What? shit. Okay, do I hit him with the, I'm Mr. W. Or, I'm Rob. Which one do you do? Rob. You do Rob. You don't big time at Russell? Come on now. I think you go first name and you lure him in as a buddy and then, and then you. Oh, right. So, it turns out that is what I did. Jenny, on the other hand, had a little bit of a different tact. She didn't say doctor. She did not. She's got to be lifting. She was like, I'm doctor. I got, I got a, I got a hundred dollars

[38:30]to say she's lifting when he comes in the house. No, she was sitting, she was sitting on the couch, but the moment he came in, she goes, right now, any number of reps, you and me, let's see who can bench more. You pick the reps. It can be as many reps as possible. We can rub, one rep max. And then she turns and she goes, I don't even need to warm up. And I was like, oh, dang, this was right off the bat. And she kept saying, let's bench, let's bench. And he was like, okay, we're going to see you guys. She lost. He, he was so confused because if you see this woman

[39:01]just yelling at you, how many reps max I'll rep. And he's like, what are you talking? He didn't even know what she was talking about. I had to like explain to her, like Jenny, not everybody is thinking about bench press all the time. Okay. But he was big timed by this girl's mom saying that she was going to bench more than him, which I think she could have. Is bench press the, the standard for assessing a person's strength? I would have thought she might've squatted him, but bench press. No, no, no. It's gotta be the bench. Yeah. To be beaten by a girlfriend's mom on bench press would be

[39:31]the most humiliating lift to lose to. Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, is there one, maybe if she curled more than you. So anyway, you guys are, you guys are trying to inhibit this from going well by doing that though. You're aware. She is. He left and I turned to her and I go, I go, Jen, have you lost your damn mind? I said, what are you doing? Telling him the bench press. I said, we have to at least be normal for a little bit. She doesn't. Jenny likes to cause trouble. Everybody thinks I like to cause trouble. I want to remind you, Jenny's the one who got dressed in her spandex and benched in the middle

[40:00]of one of Amelia's parties. So there was no bench press competition tonight. There was no bench press competition. It was, he was immediately shuttled off and taken back outside. She was too embarrassed. So. What do you think was going on outside then? I did hit him with the rob. So I was kind to him. So we'll see how it goes, but I don't know. It's tough, but that's the tree lighting ceremony story. Did you give him like a handshake or a bro hug or what was I did? I did give him a handshake, but I did do that thing

[40:31]where I put my middle finger in the middle and kind of wiggled it like this too. I actually think, you know, that's the funny, I'd like, I know that the strong, extra strong handshake is like a, that's a thing that we've grown up with, but I think like a big hug where like he can feel how strong your posterior chain is. Wow. I think that's it. I think you know, you give the guy a big hug. Right. If I would have hugged him, Aaron, and then Jenny starts challenging him to bench, it would have been the weirdest. You'd have been totally just, he couldn't do, what could you do for the rest of the night? Yeah, man. He'd be like,

[41:00]okay, well I'm going to, you know, treat this house with respect. I mean, you have to realize that the mom challenging him to a bench is probably like, it decreases the odds he goes out with your daughter by, at least a third. Oh no. No. Increase. At least. Oh no, don't do that. Look at the danger. That would be terrible. He's like, I'm doing it. And it also, it also increases the odds she never brings people to your house again and goes out other places. Wow.

[41:30]Listen, when you come into our house and Jenny's bench pressing and I'm playing video games with my noise cancelling headphones on, why do you want to bring people into that environment to see what's going on? Yeah. He comes in and I'm like, do you know if Matt Stafford threw an interception? I'm playing video games. I'm not even watching the game I gambled on. Rolling going, man. How's it going with you? Can I ask one thing though? So Jenny, Jenny got competitive and wanted to show she's stronger than him. What, what did you do to like show that you were cool? Like, did you talk about your video game

[42:01]or what, what did you do to kind of be the cool dad? The problem is, is that they came in. Remember that video I played earlier with me yelling? They came in about 10 minutes after that video was filmed. Okay. I was totally exhausted. Okay. I was kind of, I was, you know what I was doing? I was eating a giant poke bowl. So immediately I was emasculated. He came in when I was using chopsticks. You were in your refractory period. Yeah. I was in, I was in my refractory period, Aaron. Thank you very much. I had to reload before I started yelling again.

[42:31]Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, Russell, I didn't do anything. I kind of stared at the ground. It was, I was not good. I didn't talk to him. I should have done a better job. Next time I'm going to focus, I'm going to be ready and I'm going to give him a hug. I think that's a good advice by Aaron. I'm telling you, man, like get in there and just like let him, let him feel your. Or you could do, this is the, what the pro wrestlers always do. They do like the limp handshake. It's to show that like, it'll be easy with you in the ring. It's kind of like a very soft handshake. Maybe you could go with the, the soft handshake route. Maybe that's your move.

[43:00]I had a, I brought a friend over once to another friend's house and he pissed the dad off so bad because he would only shake with his left hand. He would reach out his left hand to shake and it drove the dad fucking nuts. The guy would leave and he'd go, he only shakes with his left hand. What the fuck? And I was like, oh, I didn't even think about that. But that's like the, it's like, you know, it's kind of the equivalent of the Trump handshake where he brings him in real close and like yanks him. I always like that too where you kind of grab him and you're kind of yanking him around a little bit,

[43:30]showing him who a real man is. I used to always joke that I've got a mental edge on someone. If you were a left-handed handshaker, you have a mental edge on everyone. Oh, totally. I'll never forget you. Matt, rolling going on. How's it going with you? Good. Did you hear what the word of the year was from dictionary.com? No, what was it? Word of the year was something called demure, demure. Oh yeah, demure. Demure. Yeah. You know what the definition of demure is? It's like very, it's like very casual,

[44:01]right? Reserved, modest, and shy. Typically used of a woman. So a demure young lady. I can't say that. That's the word. You got it. You're right. That's the word of the year. Why would that be the word of the year? Because there was a TikTok. Yeah. Very. I know this one. I know this one. Yeah. Where they're saying they're being very mindful, very demure. Very mindful, very modest, very demure. But I mix them both because I'm what? Very demure. I'm very cute with. So basically,

[44:30]it just shows people that they played that song clip. Aaron, don't, I can't explain TikToks to you. That's a sound from a different video on a different video. No. Okay. If you're not putting in three to four hours over Thanksgiving like I was, don't even talk to me about TikTok. I was in the mines over this long Thanksgiving break. I was in the TikTok mines every day, clocking in, clocking out five, six hours a day. I know. No days off for you. And all it was, sexy ladies in the office walking toward me. Being demure. So mindful, so demure.

[45:00]Those ladies are very demure. So there was five runners up. One of them really caught my eye, but I thought we'd go through the runners up. Love it. Just to say. So the number two one really caught my ear. Caught my eye? I don't know. Okay. Let's go from number five. Number five word of the year was weird. Oh. That's the year's most surprising word is the short list. Fuck off. Weird. Generally a word. Weird. Such common usage. Yeah, but I don't know.

[45:31]Typically, what does it say? Yeah, I got a text from Tim Walz yesterday just about flew off the handle and I was like, oh, I can just write stop. It's okay. Aaron, it's not really Tim Walz. I'm just going to tell you right now. But they put his picture in there. I was like, I never want to see this guy again. That doesn't mean anything, Aaron. I suppose he and Colin Geertz. That's why weird. Yeah, that's why I got it in there. Well, this is maybe a slight theme because number four is Midwest nice. So I'm guessing it's a word of the year? Wait, Midwest nice? I've never heard of Midwest nice. Oh. That's a word? It's Minnesota nice. In Minnesota, it's so nice.

[46:01]Midwest nice. You know what? Get the fuck out of here. It's a fucking bullshit. Midwest trying to take our shit. Oh, yeah. Minnesotans. Oh, so nice. Fuck off. They're not fucking nice. They're not at all. Ohio's in the Midwest. Fuck off. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. It's Minnesota nice. We get it. The rest of these fucking Midwest state fuckers. Number three. Number three is extreme weather. That's the number three word of the year. These are multiple words. That is multiple. It's just a roll of stone, guys.

[46:30]I'm going to go to number one and we're going to skip over number two. But number one is brain rot, which is technically one word. Yes. But brain rot. Brain rot. That's a good one. There is so much brain rot at my school this year. It's crazy. Okay. Number two. Number two. Number nine. Is the word. The number two on the list is brat. Oh. Brat. Robbie. Robbie. Robbie. Robbie. That's me playing all these sounds, Robbie. The new usage of brat

[47:00]redefines the word, using it to refer to someone who is confidently rebellious, unapologetically old, and playfully and unapologetically defiant. God damn, is that hot. Oh. I mean, just somebody who is not going to do what you tell them. Oh, my God. Okay. Wait a minute. I'm not going to bet your wife in your apartment, Robbie. I think every female in my life is a brat. I don't have a female in my life that will listen to a thing I say. Who did this list? This is dictionary.com. Dictionary.com. All right. They clearly do not know

[47:30]what a word is. They're going by the search of the word on their website. Allegedly. So we, you know, Russell is brat. How many times has Brad show up for Beck did it better in our SEO? It's got to be in there a ton. Russell, we're going to make bank with this new words. If they listen. If one of the words of the year is Locktober, we're set. We've got to be a top three Locktober podcast. It could be for sure. What if it's Drew Locktober? Drew Locktober. Yes.

[48:00]Does he still have a starting job anywhere? Damn. I don't think so. That's crazy. What if, what if, what if, how about this? What if I put a cock cage on a mythical creature who lives in Scotland? It's Locknestober. Wait, Lockcock, Cocklock, Nestober. Have you guys heard of that new advanced NBA stat? They call them stocks. It's steals plus Blockstober. I love a new stat.

[48:30]Like baseball. I don't know what war is. I have no idea what war means in baseball, but every time they're talking about it, every time they're talking about wars, I'm like, fuck yeah, I get it, man. What do you think our word? What's it? What's our individual war on this podcast? If you replace it, we are under replacement level. All of us. Uh, the B.U. And I guess, yeah, you're right. We're just Ted Williams of it. The rest of us are like, that's true. Where we got to go now. Russell rolling, going, how's it going with you? Rolling, going guys. I thought I would share. I know. I think there was a, maybe something on the text chain.

[49:01]I got my Spotify rap this week. I thought I could share some of my Spotify rap things with you. I want to hear about it. Just a heads up. I'm total minutes. Listen, 46,437. Oh, wow. Really? Tell what's on your rap, Russell. I got to hear this. Well, you thought that was, this was crazy. My number one, I'll go my top five songs for the year. Okay. I'll go five to one. Okay. Five to one. Number five is exile featuring Boney Bear by Taylor Swift. Okay. Really?

[49:30]Yep. We did that one. I still don't get Boney Bear. We did that one on the list. It was on a, what album is that one, Aaron? Boney Bear? Yes, we did. Taylor Swift. That's Roy's favorite album. Hopefully. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I still don't get Boney Bear. You guys like Boney Bear? I love this song, but I don't. I like his, I like the track he did with Chief Keef. Kanye, which we're unfortunately going to have to listen to

[50:00]on Yeezus, but it's a good track. Somehow this one's on there which makes me think this system isn't right or I must, I must have put something on repeat and didn't remember it. It's a choir song called Barbara Allen by the University of Michigan Men's Choir, which I don't remember listening to at all. Nope. What? So how does it, I don't know. Let's hear it though. We got to hear it. Russell, what the fuck is going on? Pulling up for number three.

[50:30]Are you worried? We're going to get through this. Aren't you worried that this is on your list? Like somebody's breaking it down? You're going into your house and like, I don't know. This is scary. If you woke up and went downstairs, this is playing. choir songs during the year. So I could have played it. I don't know what happened, but it's on the list. Number three, which I definitely know this one. And I, this is my favorite song of the year. Number three, it's Beastie Boys Rhyming and Stealing. Okay. Rhyming and Stealing. This is what I, I listen to this every day

[51:01]in the car multiple times. Every day? Not every day, but every day for about a week, a couple weeks. This is the Zeppelin sample. Yes. This is a good one, Russell. I like this. Matt, this is the number one Beastie Boys song. Number one. It's, it's a top 10. And you guys thought it was crazy. I could see why it would be on here. Number two on my list.

[51:31]One Shining Moment by Darren, David Barrett and Luther Vandross. One Shining Moment. This is so, this is so crazy to me. There's a reason the top two are on the list. I'll have to tell you guys those later, but. So I bet I listened to this 200 times this year, at least. Russell, are you okay? I've, you might not think so after this last one. Oh, was this, was this work related? Yes. Is that why I didn't watch Shining Moment? Yeah, that's all he was. Yeah. And then the number one.

[52:01]I just picture Russell sitting in his car when he pulls into work, play this song, tears. Screaming down his eyes. The song is you're going in to start your day. Like, what more do you want? I couldn't do it. Emotionally, I couldn't do it. But I get it. I get it. Just one Shining Moment over and over. My number one top song, which we discussed this guy a few weeks ago, is by Danny Elfman. It's the Batman theme. Danny Elfman. Danny Elfman. Danny Elfman back again. Batman theme.

[52:31]What are you talking about, Russell? What is going on? Right here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is badass. Yeah, you're right. Guys, once again, this proves Russell is getting ass. I love to hear it. Russell is having sex with a Batman theme. This is so great. So it's beyond the top songs. Spotify rap gives you a bunch of other things. And so they give you an evolution of music where they tell you, here's what you were in February, June, July. So here's what they told me

[53:01]I was listening to. And they were like, we've never seen a Spotify rap like this. We want to study you for science. Yeah, Spotify's data science team is good. And they're just counting things. They're just counting. Counting matters. How many listeners do we have? Don't count stuff like that. That doesn't count. Actually, Rob, we might have to share that Spotify rap because I think we really do know how many people listen after that. Next. So this is what I was listening to in February. They say I was into Sweater Weather Strut Pop

[53:31]featuring Taylor Swift. Sweater Weather Strut Pop. Taylor Swift, John C. And Michael Jackson. Really? Yes. Sweater Weather Strut Pop. Wow. And then in June, I moved into my psychedelic beatless classic rock season. Okay. All right. And then in August, this was obviously when I moved into the Danny Elfman time frame. It was theatrical Hollywood soundtracks. Oh. So something about August, something about the middle of summer, Russ is like, oh, that's hot out.

[54:01]Better put on this fucking Batman theme. I also listened to Danny. So Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, and John Williams. And I think we talked about John Williams back in August. John Williams was awesome. That was part of it, too. My number one artist of the year, Danny Elfman, tattoos and all. Wow. Look at this shit. There's my picture of my Spotify rap there. He's right there. He's right there. Danny Elfman. Danny Elfman is like, if Carrot Top made a few different choices. Me and Danny Elfman.

[54:30]He's like if Carrot Top and Danzig had a kid. Like, he's ripped. Yes, exactly. That's exactly what it looks like. He's got weird red hair. Danny Elfman is once again a person whose penis looks just like his body. Oh. It says, I was a top 1% fan. I spent 301 minutes with Danny Elfman this year. 301 minutes. That's all it takes? That doesn't seem like that long to be the 1%er fan of Danny Elfman. So ultimately, my top five artists, Danny Elfman won, The Beatles 2, Taylor Swift 3, David Barrett

[55:00]from One Shining Woman 4, and Beyonce number 5. But Rob, I was going to ask. We talked about my spot. I think you sent this out or I believe you sent this out and isn't it essentially we have like 37 listeners that listen to us all the time and no one else? What was the stat? It was, let's see what it was because I've got our Spotify rap for Beck Did It Better creator right here. Okay, so we can watch it. It was, but this is just Spotify. And actually it showed that it showed

[55:31]that we did have a little bit of growth this year. It's kind of exciting, kind of exciting time. Just a little bit. Just a little growth. Just a little growth. It does get bigger as you get older. Just a little bit. Okay, and then it gets smaller and then it gets lower. We gained 16% in our listeners. Pretty good. Hey, so that's like one out of eight. That's 1,500 for most years. We gained 1.6 million then. Okay, 31% listeners, 15% followers we gained. 5 million. Now, I don't know what a follower is, but 75% of our listeners

[56:01]are new fans this year for us on Spotify. So that's kind of fun. That's a million and a half. And the fans have a clear favorite. Which episode was it, Aaron? Of course, it was Bob Dylan bringing it all home. Who remembers that? Russell, can you look up bringing it all home and see what classic bits we did on that episode to make it our favorite episode of the year? Because we got to just do that over and over. We're bombing today. We got to go. Let's just do bits we did that day.

[56:30]This is what it says from our, this is truly what it says directly from Spotify. Yeah. Yeah. The album title is missing a word. It's bringing it all, it's bringing it all back home. Did we upload the wrong album title? Listen, our SEO is not good. We got a problem. That sucks because I'm actually very careful. I always check to see how things are spelled. Okay, I'm sorry. Damn it. Ugh. But you can't change it now, right? Because that'll mess up all the, it's going to screw up everything. That episode was streamed 419%.

[57:00]So obviously, there's some other dummies out there who think the title, the album title is also called it. That's what they're searching. Ever wonder who your audience is? No, I know all the guys. I'm on a text chain with them as well. Well, listen to this. Listeners by age, Russell, you'll like this. Our listeners, 18 to 24, 3%. 3% of our listeners. Where's the 9 to 18 range? 9 to 17 range? We've got at least two. A third of our listeners are 55 plus. So we have just tricked a bunch of old people

[57:30]into listening to this show on Spotify. Well, we just lost one, but we'll get to the rest. Two, actually. We lost two. Great job, Rob. Well, listen, I've been going to bring that up. I've been going and downloading on my mom's phone. She doesn't know how to use Spotify. So that counts for one. I'm always getting my family members phones to download this podcast. There we go. Listeners ages 25 to 29 grew by 73%. I mean, our key demographic. Yeah, exactly. We travel the globe. We were played in 26 countries.

[58:01]United States was our top country. So obviously, very good. Bob Dylan. America first kind of people. Yeah. Bob Dylan being our top episode is absolutely mind blowing. Russell, did you find anything on that? Do we have anything? Are we sure we did that episode? Bob, you got a new log into Slice. Oh, I'm not logging into Slice. That pizza place is not on there anymore. You got a new one. No, I'm not. I'm not getting fished again. I'm not getting fished by me. The only fishing my pizza place should be doing is some anchovies.

[58:30]Rob, what episode was that? 165? 181? Russell's not sure we did that. I don't think we did it. Go look at Spotify. We did it. Beck did it better. Bob Dylan. Bringing it on home. Bringing it all back home. Back home. Whatever. Bringing it all back home. Bringing it all home. Here we go, folks. Okay, here's the description of it. Folks, I'm in a work meeting. I can't write anything funny here. It's Bob Dylan.

[59:00]We talk about Moby Dick. What more do you want? I was going to say, I had no comments on that. That must have been a late Sunday. You know what? We also have no comments. You know what this is, Russell. It's Rob talking. This is, no. You know what the parody song is. That's why this is the best play. Oh, it's the Chupacabra. So this is all just John from Edina listening over and over again. This is John from Edina. This is John from Edina listening over and over. Let's hear this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Russell's in the basement jacking off the cryptids. Block that monster.

[59:30]Gives him a boner. Chupacabra makes him whack off. Back off. He grows big foot. Okay, I get it. Russell admits he jacks off. I just love Russell as soon as it's over. Makes him want to blast again. Then he pulls down his pants looking at some mermaids. A woman with a body of a fish will make a Russell spring. He wants to fuck the Jersey Devil. At least it's country for a roll. Oh, yeah, it's country for a roll. When you want to hear him out the rain is down. That's also what Russell, Russell, I remember, I can still picture him. He's looking down like he is and he goes,

[60:00]oh, what the fuck? I might have to check the Upstairs Roommate Spotify rap and see if I can get and see what she's been downloading this year. When he rhymes whack off with jack off. I mean, it's like, why didn't we just quit the podcast right there? Oh, we should have. That's one of the few songs where we got done and we're like, okay, let's play that again. It was three times in an episode, I remember. Oh, God, that was so funny. That was so funny because I forgot to end it with skunk ape oral. Probably one of the only songs that have that lyric in it, I got to say. All right.

[60:31]Are we done? Should we get into the album here? Oh, yeah, let's talk about music. All right. We got to move this thing along. Hey, Rob, Rob, I don't mean to make you nervous. I think we're on chart for a top five episode. Wow. I can't wait. We'll check next year's Spotify rap to see. Crazy, sexy, cool. Okay, this is TLC's second album. All right. And this album, they actually had some trouble recording it because for a majority of the album, Left Eye was basically,

[61:00]so we got, who do we got? We got T-Boz. We got Left Eye Lopez. And we got the other one. Who's the other one? Left Eye. Chili, she's Usher's baby mama, right? Chili, okay. Of course, is Raymond's baby mama. Okay, Raymond Usher. All right. You still... What? Is Raymond his last name? No, it's his middle name. His name's Usher Raymond, isn't it? Usher Raymond? Is it? What's his last name? I don't know. Oh. Well, that's not very helpful.

[61:31]Well, he goes by Usher. His first name is Usher, and then sometimes he also gets to say Raymond. Two of the coolest names. Yeah, I think so. Oh, my God. That's so cool. He is Usher Raymond IV. He's the fourth? No wonder he's pulling what he's pulling. He comes from a whole line of Usher. Hey, Usher Raymond, how you doing? Oh, my dad. Hey, my dad's Mr. Raymond. You can call me Usher. The fourth. Did he have kids with Chili,

[62:00]or was Chili the subject of confessions? I can't remember how that worked out. Wow. Matt, you work on some research. Well, Rob. Rob, can I ask? Your dad has the same name, and I've never heard you go by Junior or the second or anything. Did that ever pick up or not? We have different middle names. Oh. So we... That doesn't matter. I am not technically a junior. Yeah, and then like three years ago, somebody goes, it doesn't matter. You can just say you're a junior, and I was like, fuck. I could have been Rob Jr. I could have put a fun little thing instead of getting all my mail

[62:30]to Dr. Roberto Esquire in college like I did. Rob, you're going to have to bleep that out again, too. Damn it. No, he said Roberto. It's fine. Oh, yeah, that's true. Nobody will know. It's his alias. Who cares anymore? 36 people listening on Spotify. Oh, hell no one's listening. So Left Eye, for a lot of this album, was actually in rehab. She was struggling with alcoholism, and of course, her famous relationship with Andre Rison, where she burned his house down trying to set his shoes on fire. There's a bad moon, Rison. Yeah, well, and now I got to say,

[63:00]not to bring the podcast down, but if you look to see what was happening in that relationship now, like if that happened now, she caught so much heat for that. First, it was like, oh, she's crazy. Then it turns out Andre Rison was a total piece of shit. Yeah, I don't think he was treating her well, right? Yeah. Can I read this about Usher and Chili quick? Please. Usher, Raymond. Raymond, Usher, we're not sure. In 2001, Usher began dating TLC member Chili Thomas, and the relationship lasted for three years. In 2003, Usher started working on the album

[63:30]that would become Confessions, so his album, which contained songs inspired by the personal lives of Usher, and his collaborators. The songs about infidelity and pregnant mistresses were not inspired by Usher's private life, but by Dupree's own personal challenges at the time. Dupree deliberately intended to create an air of mystery about Usher and arouse fans' curiosity about how much of the infidelity story was Usher's own confession. Whoa! The unintended results of this

[64:00]was to arouse Thomas' suspicion about Usher they broke up in December of 2004. Wow! So, that's on the internet, and they can't put anything on the internet, it's not true, but that's cited Wikipedia stuff. So, Jermaine Dupree was trying to get, or maybe he just took the blame for it? I don't know, but somehow all that stuff broke him up. I wouldn't feel for it, too. He's a producer on this album. Oh, yeah, he was producing everything at that time.

[64:31]Yeah, that's crazy that he was like, Hey, you know what? Or Babyface, it was him. I love Cheating on My Wife, but we should make an album where you talk about cheating on your wife. Like, it's so crazy. Everybody's just like, we should sing about cheating on our wife. It's going to be really fun. Can you imagine Confession comes out and you're married to Usher and it's a whole album about him cheating and then he's like, no, no, no, it's not me. It was the guy in charge of the recording cheating. You'd be like, well, that doesn't, that can't possibly be true. It'd be like if Russell was the one squatting ladies.

[65:00]I need to put those plates behind my heels. I'll just say that right now. You guys were talking about Jermaine Dupri. There's a ton of like famous producers, backup singers all over this album that I would have never known until I pulled up Rob's research website for this. Oh, absolutely. Wikipedia actually was full up on this album. We've got, listen to this, Babyface, Jermaine Dupri, Aaron's favorite, Diddy. Diddy's on that voicemail before the poop joke. Is that the sexy interlude? Is that the bathroom one?

[65:31]There's like a skit where Diddy's on the phone and then she's like, give me some tissues so I can wet my ass. The bathroom one is a bottom three song we've ever heard on any of the albums. It's almost disqualifying for the whole album. I agree. Listen, if you guys don't want me at my creep, you don't deserve me at my bathroom skit on the same album. That's true. That's hard. Yeah, that's a hard bargain. You gotta hand it to them. And basically, this is a super sexual romantic album compared to the first album, which was mostly rap. It peaks at number three

[66:01]and it's on the Billboard 200 for three years. I did not realize what a, I hate to say this, I use the word again, juggernaut this album is. This is the best selling album ever by any girl group, okay? All four singles get up to the top five with two of them getting up to number one. It gets nominated for six Grammys, loses record of the year to Kiss by a Rose. Okay, just to let you know what 1994 was like. Alanis Morissette, by the way, Jagged Little Pill also coming out this year. It's, and she wins.

[66:32]Oh, and then she also loses best pop performance by a duo or group of women with vocals to Let It Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish. Guys, what a year for music, okay? Matt's talked about 94 multiple, multiple times and every time it gets better and better. I was wondering when I was thinking about, when I saw 94, I was thinking about this. Are people that are like four years younger than us crazy about like 1998? Is 94 really that good? Or is it just that was the year for us as like you,

[67:00]your formative music years when you're 13, 14? I think 1994 was the year for us. I think 1994 was that good. I think it's- Okay, like Dookie by Green Day. That's their kickoff album, right? Weezer, the Blue Album. That's their seminal album. Ill Communication, Beastie Boys. Downward Spire, Nine Inch Nails. Grace by Jeff Buckley. Vitology. Wow. Illmatic by Nas. Wow. Ready to Die, the Notorious B.I.G. No Need to Argue by the Cranberries. Monster by R.E.M. Crazy, Sexy, Cool.

[67:30]We're doing that today. Southern Playalistic, Cadillac. Oof. Funky Music. Funky by Outkast. Smash by The Offspring. My Life by Mary J. Blige. I'm trying to skip over some of these and just go with the big ones. You know, but it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable year of music. Did I say Vitology by Pearl Jam? You did. Definitely, maybe. The one we did last week, Oasis. Super Unknown by Soundgarden. Wow. Look at this, though. 1998, Titanic soundtrack. That's almost- That's like the first 10 weeks.

[68:01]And then It's Hot, It's Dark, and Hell is Hot by DMX pops up. So- Things were going crazy in 1998, for sure. Hello, Nasty by the Beastie Boys. That was awesome. Listen to this. To promote this album, listen to this concert, this tour they did. You could go see TLC with Boyz II Men, Montel Jordan, and Mary J. Blige. And they were joined at some shows with Blackstreet and Monica. I saw the Blackstreet one. That is a murderer's row of

[68:30]hip-hop and R&B acts from the 90s, right? Although Blackstreet would come out and be like, we're going to perform three songs. I'd be like, it's too, too many. I've seen them, I believe, at half-time of a Wolves game. Did they play- I think there's two. There's one beyond the main song everyone knows. There's two that I- What's the other Blackstreet song? I don't know. You've got to look it up. It's Don't Leave Me, Girl. It's got the same sample

[69:01]from the Tupac song. Wow. It's like I'm at the concert. Let's get into TLC. Rob, you would have known that if you were on the side text chain where Aaron and I talk about 90s rap samples. Oh, okay. Yeah. Boy, I really want to get into that one. You can bet on which sample is really a sample. Hot as hell lately, Rob. We've been winning big bucks. On a streak. This is Introlude. So there's a bunch of skits, basically, in the middle of this album. This one's featuring Phife Dawg.

[69:30]Wow. But I'm going to skip the Interludes. We start right away. They're first, first single, Grammy Award. Best R&B performance. They win a Grammy for this song. Best performance by Silk Pajamas in a video. You said we're going to watch the video. Oh, my God. Yeah, let's watch the video. This video breakdown. The song, it's a video. You know what, Russell? Goddamn, Russell, you're right. It's been a while. It's been a minute. We're totally, we got to do. Get out our Alan Jackson cowboy hats and our floaties. Where is my video breakdown song?

[70:01]Maybe I don't have, that might be on my dad's computer. Oh, that's a good one. It's very strange. I don't have video breakdown. Oh, well, I'll just play this. We'll check what else you left on there. Your dad's computer's tucking Jenny in right now, so. Oh, my God. You can't do that. Don't say that. Oh, okay. Listen. Okay, let's do. That thing's got more viruses than 2020. Oh. DLC. Now, can I just say this? When I heard this horn start, I was at work. I had my headphones on and my penis moved a little bit. It was like a Pavlovian response.

[70:32]Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little. Rob, what about a parody of me wearing silk pajamas that are only buttoned at the top with my stomach hanging out like they've got here? This, Russell, it would probably also make it move. Okay? That's how trained I am on this song and this video. Have you guys seen the deleted scene from Atlanta where Donald Glover is doing the, like, it's Donald Glover and Brian Tyree Henry and they're wearing silk PJs and doing the moves? It's great. I mean, this video is iconic.

[71:02]Okay? And it was, probably since we've been doing this list, it's a number one all-time jack-off video for me on this list so far because we haven't done any Aerosmith yet. But, I mean, but props, though, like, props to our imaginations, our 14-year-old imaginations. Like, for our listeners out there, these women are not scantily clad. They're wearing baggy pajamas. Silk pajamas. Or big baggy jeans and tank tops. They are unbuttoned. There's one button on the top.

[71:30]I mean, sure. There's some suggestion there. But, you know, this is not a raunchy video by any stretch. But, Aaron, this video is so embedded in my mind as, like, sex and hot and awesome. And then you listen to the rest of this album and you're like, oh, this whole album is, like, sex on a record. Freedom sex. Right. It's very much, it reminds me of a lot of the Boyz II Men videos from that, like, I'll Make Love to You and that type of thing, right?

[72:00]Remember all those Boyz II Men videos that had this same vibe? And it's, like, and it's probably, they both kind of have, Aaron, you'll know more, remember we did the list on New Jack Swing. There's got to be some elements of the New Jack Swing on this album here, right? I do think so, yeah, because this is when the bass got really turned up in R&B where you've got, you took classic R&B, you wed it with hip-hop. In this case, there's the trumpet going on, so it sounds like Roy Hargrove in a way. And that's probably before Roy Hargrove. And, yeah, it's definitely

[72:30]a New Jack Swing descendant. The next one, Kick Your Grip, Kick Your Game. This is with Jermaine Dupri. Now, this is, TLC is now teaching boys how to flirt in the club. Guys, if you had to flirt right now, what are you opening with? Aaron, what line are you opening with? Now, I did try to do a game where I tried to train AI to be a stripper at a club, and I was going to have Aaron say things to her to try to bring her home, but Chad GBT will not pretend like it's a stripper at the club, to my humiliation

[73:01]after I signed in with my Google account. Aaron, how are you flirting with somebody now? What are you saying? Well, if I'm flirting with anyone, it'd be my own wife. Aaron, of course. She's gone. Let's just, just for tonight. Let's just for tonight. Let's act like she's gone, Aaron. Drop the charade. Yeah. Let's just say she's out of town, out of work. What are you saying? Oh, God. Yo, that helps. Thanks. Yeah. She's in a different zip code. I guess I'm probably saying like, oh, have you read a, what are you reading these days? Oh, Jesus. Jesus Christ.

[73:31]What's your favorite book? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Aaron. Hey, have you, have you ever had sliced persimmons on your yogurt? I'm telling you, hey, listen, guys, I peeled the persimmons from our lady today. She sent me a text from the other room. She was like, ooh, those persimmons are good. You peel them, they're way better. Aaron, when you see your wife, you hug her and you don't ever let her go. You're so fucking lucky. I cannot believe how lucky you are to have somebody that cares about that. Every person I've talked about persimmons has made fun of you

[74:00]for five minutes at a time. My sister's neighbor came over and gave her persimmon. And it's all my sisters and I texted about for like two weeks. Okay? Was making fun of you through that exchange. It was crazy. Speaking of eating shots, man, those persimmons have really done it to me. By the way, when Aaron says to the girl, what are you reading? You know what they're going to say to him. What are you reading? Aaron, what book are you reading right now? This is Aaron's response. This is how he's going to keep flirting. I was reading the books of Jacob, but I set it aside to read The Underground Railroad by Colton Whitehead.

[74:31]Colson Whitehead. Sorry, Colson Whitehead. It's here under my microphone. Aaron, can you yell it like you're yelling over like music at the club? I was reading the books of Jacob about that 17th, 18th century messianic figure in Poland. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. We're in the club. That one is the thousand pages. I had to cut it down. What? You were in that audio book? I was traveling and so I needed a book I could fit in my fanny pack and so I grabbed The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead,

[75:00]which is number six on the New York Times 100 best books. What else you got in that fanny pack? Uh, actually, honestly, right now I have a sanitary napkin in there and then also some shoes. Oh my God. Okay, we can go to the bathroom. You can do stuff over my shirt, but that's it. Okay? That's it. I don't want to hear any more about Moby Dick. Yeah, please. I don't want to hear any more about the sanitary napkin in your fanny pack. Okay? Are you just spilling a lot, Aaron? Like, is that what you have with that? You never know

[75:30]when you might need I had a little microfiber cloth in there. I got really pissed off the other day because I was in the car and I was like, I was trying to hand Wallace a banana and I did that and then I was like, I hate peeling bananas in the car. It's my least favorite snack and I reached back into my fanny pack to get my microfiber cloth and it was gone because I think I threw it in the wash or something. Oh, and then Wallace opens the windows and throws a banana peel out and you look back and there's just chaos and cars skidding around. Exactly. All right. Matt's got something to say. Oh, sorry. This is for Joe from Woodbury.

[76:00]In 1994, Blackhawk by Blackhawk came out. Oh, there we go. Which has Goodbye Says It All as the number one of their first songs. Goodbye Says It All. So 1994 even had some great country music. Oh, I digress. Bring people together. Thanks, Matt. A great year on NHL for Sega Genesis, by the way. Digging on you. Is it Geyserman? I kind of do. I think NHL P93 is the real game. I think if you're a 94 guy, you can go fuck yourself. You don't know shit about video games. I'm judging you in your video games

[76:30]if that's what you play. I actually loved NHL 95. Jeremy Roenick and Ed Belfort. I was dominating with those Blackhawks. This is their fourth single, by the way. This is looking like the second sexiest song on the album, I think. It's crazy. There's all these songs. I was like, I have to go try to have sex to this album. Okay, but then, you know, what's going to pop up is these intermissions, these interludes. It's like that flute album where he got all loud at the end. Case of the fake people.

[77:00]Do you guys ever remember listening to this? Like, I know that the green, like, two, three commercial hits. Have you guys ever listened to the whole album before or not? No. No. It kind of does have an iconic, the album cover is pretty iconic, right? Like, the red, kind of the faded out faces. Their eyes. I don't know how to describe it, but the album cover is pretty. And everyone knows the name of the album. Everyone knows that the album, oh, what's the TLC album? Oh, it's Crazy Sexy Cool, but I had never actually

[77:30]listened to it. Top to bottom. Crazy Sexy Cool interlude, with T-Boz. I'm skipping all the interludes. Do we need to listen to them? One of the interludes, some of the interludes were pretty in your face. They were very, I don't know if vulgar is the right word, but I guarantee if Aaron Sun's in the room, he's got to turn down his Sonos speaker. Well, I mean, it's close between this week and next week, which has the lowest moments of interludes. Oof. Oof. Yeah, this is a, this is a headphone, this is a headphone week for you. Red Light Special. Now, I want to play

[78:00]the video to this one, too, because I had forgotten this video, and then when I saw it, I had some thoughts, okay? If the computer wasn't out in the public space here, I mean, look at this. This is the one where they're playing cards, and they're, like, in charge, and then all the men are, like, hanging on them and stuff. Guys. It is a crazy, sexy video. Would you be a good sexy band servant, Rob? I think I would be.

[78:31]I think you would be, too. You know what I mean? Because it's, like, so much of this song is, like, talking about, I mean, really what it is is it's talking about oral sex. Like, getting oral sex from a guy. And it made me think, how do you initiate oral sex? What do you guys do when you want to give some oral sex? No, no. Because I think, I think, come on. No, no, no, no, Rob, Rob, Rob, no, I'm warning you. This is going to be a no-go.

[79:00]I'll just announce it. I'll be like, hey, I'm going to do some oral sex. I'm going to do some oral sex. I'm going to do some oral sex. I'm going to do some oral sex. And they're like, okay. But I think there's got to be a better way. Yeah, who's they? Whoever is in the room. Who's ever listened to me? I don't know. I feel like you've got to announce it. You can't just be like, whoa, whoa. Going on a trip. The gentlemen in this video are wearing some hot pants. Yeah, I know. Did you guys know in 1994, did you guys know in 1994, Mellow Gold by Beck came out with a title track?

[79:31]Who would have known that? First song, Loser. Wow. That's crazy. 1994. That's why we love music so much. Next up, Waterfalls. You're saying, Matt, who put out records the same time as TLC that crushed it in 1994? Who did it better? Beck. Oh, there you go. I would say Beck did it better. That's cool. Wow. He's bringing it with that. Matt, I'll Venmo you for that one.

[80:00]Thank you. Next up, Waterfalls. This is the third single on the album. It's the first number one song ever to refer to HIV AIDS in one of its verses. That's crazy. 1994? That's insane. This song is just an absolute killer. This is a slayer. This is probably a top five song of our generation, right? Like, if this song is played at a get-together, everyone's on the dance floor, right? Yep. You have to. College vibe album, Aaron, or not?

[80:30]I think so. I think if you take out the... The interludes. If you could take this album and snip out the interludes, it's perfect. It's a Winamp classic. But I will also say, it was interesting to me, Rob, you talked about how much their first album was more rap-inflected and this one is not. I completely forgot that Left Eye has a verse on this song because it gets edited out of the radio and probably even MTV. I was listening today, and I was like, man, I don't even know this verse. And I think it's a fire verse. It is. I think she's really going. She's really good.

[81:00]You might have to cut this out. What's the... You might not know. What's the, like, the bubbly hip... What's that sound? It's not like a wah-wah. What's that... Like, play that just a little bit more. Oh, yeah, I don't know. You want the very beginning? I know exactly what you're talking about. Who's the producer on this? Is it Jermaine Dupri? Oh, Jesus. Yeah, right there. And then the guitar. It's, like, bubbly. I hear bubbles, but I don't know how to describe it. I think it's a guitar with, like, a flanger over it to make it sound like it's underwater.

[81:30]There is some really nice, yeah, like, rhythm guitar, sound all over this album. And I don't know if it's a... if they brought in musicians or if it's samples or what, but it's some very cool, like, carryover from 80s funk kind of stuff. Awesome. Let's do it again. In this one, TLC talks about how much their man satisfies them, and they'd like to do it again. You ever hear that, Rob? That phrase? I don't think my wife would ever tell anybody that I've satisfied her in any way. I think I've just come to accept, guys.

[82:00]I think I just have to look it in the eye and just say, I'm bad at sex. Oh, no. And I'm not afraid to say it right now, but I just think I'm bad. I think I've thought to myself, oh, I just gotta get my abs in shape. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I think I just don't get it. One of the last time I satisfied the upstairs roommate? Yes. Aaron, you'll like this. I made white chicken chili the other day. Oh, yes. White chicken chili and the upstairs roommate was satisfied. Held it. Oh, way to go, Russell.

[82:30]That perked up and did inappropriate. Yeah, that's satisfying. I was going to say, Jenny was on before the podcast a couple of weeks ago or whatever and did say, Rob is a lot. You could cut that. Rob, it might be that you're good at sex but bad at the announcing part. It might be all the announcing that you're doing that's a problem. Right. I've cut that out where I announced oral sex. Maybe cut that whole bit out. I think there's still some more meat on that bone. I think we can go back to that. I think there's some funny stuff we could do. If I was your girlfriend, it's a cover of a Prince song. Do you do it like in a Mike Green voice?

[83:00]Like, bang! Or like, how do you announce it? Yeah. Oh, of course, a Marv Albert voice. I'm going way downtown. Yes! Bang! I'll be down here for five minutes until you tell me to stop. Bang! Was Prince okay with this? Or did he work with him at all? He didn't have a relationship with Aaron. I was Googling that earlier. Prince had like a rapport with them or something. That's cool. I think he was going to do something with them and then something prevented it. But he did have some sort of rapport with them. That's very cool. Then another interlude

[83:31]and then take our time. Take our time. Guys, I was reading on this one that TLC was the first all-female group to sell 10 million records. So at the time, it was the biggest selling album ever by a female group. And I thought we could honor some of the other female groups that are amazing by doing a list of the top five female groups ever in terms of biggest album sales for one album. Oh, yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Russell, can I just say

[84:00]the joke I had for Take Our Time? Please. Is there anything that you said to girls more when you dated them in high school of like, listen, I just want to take it slow. And you just knew that was a lie. You just knew that that wasn't true. I didn't want to take it slow at all. This has never happened before. What's that? Never mind. Sorry. No, I just want to take it slow. OK, you can sit on my face

[84:32]if you want to. Like, just write it down. Right to 12. Right off the bat. OK, I'll have sex in your dad's van. OK. That is this episode while they're driving down the road. Hey, can you take it slow? Don't get there too fast. Mind the speed bumps, sir. Yeah, no, go back over those speed bumps. Yeah. Turn around. All right, on this list. Now I got to keep the van sex part in. We're going to go from one to five. So we're going to go with the one

[85:00]that actually topped TLC. Right now, TLC is still number two. Number two of all time. They have, I believe, I don't know how many. It's like 13 million albums sold. So this album we're listening to now is still number two all time by a female group. Number one is the album Spice from 1996. It's the Spice of the West. 23 million albums sold. For the most double. 23 million? Double from the number two album. That's crazy amazing, isn't it?

[85:30]Wow. I feel like this reaches across like all genres. It plays on every single radio station. I mean, how many times did you hear this growing up? 9,000, a billion. This is up there with Santana Smooth. That's in that kind of category for me. Look at that. The banger, though. Let's get some beer handed to him. Wow. That's 96. What a guy. 1999. That's the guy who's good at sex right there. She's bringing him drinks. That guy is good at sex.

[86:00]Congratulations, Aaron. Next up on the list is from 1999. The female group is Destiny's Child. This is Say My Name. The album is writing on the wall. Writing's on the wall. I think this is about 9 million, so this did not pass Crazy Sexy Cool, but still very high. Don't you think they'll be on the list at all, Matt? Or is it just Beyonce the solo album? I don't know. They have to be. Don't you think there's a test

[86:30]you could do to see if you're good at sex, though? You know what I mean? Like when you go to a trainer and they're like, you know, we're going to see how far you can bend and let's see how far you can do at lunch and let's, you know, they're kind of doing an evaluation. I feel like there should be an office somewhere where you go in and like they strap you to a machine and you kind of like wiggle around or whatever you do during sex. And then they would say, okay, you're getting like a, you know, you're in 75 out of 100. Here's what you could do better. I think that's a great business idea. You know what? I'm cutting this out. This is going to be our business idea. A sex evaluator.

[87:00]It's like a sleep study, but it's a sex, guys, a sex study. A sex. You know, that's, there's a lot of people, Rob. There's a lot of people all over the world that have tried this and they're all either dead or in jail right now. I'm trying exactly what you're doing right now. But see, at this point. Oh, yeah. Why don't you come in and let's see how good you are at the sex. And if you're really good, I'll give you a different colored scarf. I mean, this guy, this is all making sense to me. $2.90. Russell, just to bring this back on, $2.91.

[87:30]So they're coming up in about a year and a half. About a year and a half. Yeah. Maybe two years. Two years. We're not out of the $300 yet. That's crazy. Next up on the list is the Pussycat Dolls. This is PCD. The song is Don't Cha. Wait, how many albums did they sell? This is 9 million. 9 million? They only had one album, right? Well, this is fourth out of female groups ever. But no, there's a few repeats with TLC and Spice Girls, but eliminated repeats. This is number four. Wow. Wow.

[88:00]Do you guys ever get into this group and listen to these songs or not? No, I listen to it, but I never like sought out the album or anything. I like their early stuff. So far, so far, there's a huge team here, right? Like, super hot, extremely good dancing, extremely good musicality. Oh, man, it's about to get real on this next one, man. 8 million albums sold. Is it a person or is it a group? It's Wilson Phillips. Hold on. Wow. Oh, man.

[88:30]8 million. It's so easy. Goodbye. Until next week. To that day. I'm gonna let him hold you down and make you say goodbye. Did you know? Did you know? Did you change? Change. You think? Go your way. What cigarettes do you think Wilson Phillips? Oh, no. One more day. Rob, Matt's cooking. Don't. Right. Rob interrupted. It's gone. Okay, I'll see what I said again because it was worth it. Bring it on. What cigarettes do you... Hold out for one more day. Whoa.

[89:00]Whoa. Yes. That was so good. I'm gonna take down the music and emphasize Matt's voice during that part. What kind of cigarettes do you think they smoked? Wilson's? Wilson's? Oh. Isn't there Phillips too? Yeah. Is there two guys? Wait a minute. You know who doesn't get enough credit ever? Who's that? Phillips. Phillips. Listen, it's my favorite screwdriver. It's number two after Starbit. Starbit, number one favorite screwdriver. I love to screw in a nice Starbit screw.

[89:30]Number two, gonna go with the Phillips. Number last place, the Flathead. The Flathead screw is the worst one to screw in. When I see an Ikea thing coming in, it's all Flathead screws. Get me out of there. Do not want to. So boring. Why do they even make those anymore? It's the worst. Rob, favorite generic brand of schnapps. Let's hear it for... Phillips. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Phillips. One of the drinks I can't drink anymore. Rip your schnapps. Rob, Rob, favorite volleyball

[90:00]to be stuck on an island with? Probably Wilson. Wilson! All right, last group on the list. Rob, let's talk more about what you got caught doing in the 1990s. Hey, Matt, Matt, what do I do with my car in a gas station? Fill her up? Fill her up. Russell, say that again so I edit that last part out. Do your intro again. Let's go back to the mid-90s and what you were doing in the basement couch. It's Salt-N-Pepa.

[90:30]The album is very necessary. Seven billion albums. It's shoot. Wow. Here I go. I didn't know it was going to be that. Okay, then. Guys, they had on a... They had on a bodysuit in this video that blew my mind when I was growing up. This and the Moulin Rouge video. Forget about it. If you could have this, you could pick this song free for waterfalls. You only get one on a desert island for life. What are you taking with you? Oh. I think I got to go.

[91:00]That's a tough decision. This is this one because waterfalls is kind of depressing. Creep, I would just get too thirsty on the island if you know what I mean. I think this is a fun one. It's just like shoot. Yeah, you can memorize the lyrics. I mean, when you can sing along with this, the voodoo that you do, it's fun. Rob, I want to ask you to just go to the very beginning. Is this the greatest beginning to a song ever? Listen to the beginning. Hey, yeah. I want to shoot, baby. That. That's really good. I mean... How about this? Wait, that is awesome.

[91:30]That's really, really good. That's you. Russell? That was a top five list. That was a top five list. Were all of those from the 90s? It was another. What? All of those from the 90s. Well, what is Wilson Phillips? Let's hold on. I think it's 90s. Every single... 1992. So every single best-selling girl group is from the 90s? We should watch that video. Hold on. Hold on. Watch that video. On a beach? Are you requesting

[92:00]a video breakdown? Video breakdown. Play the bit. Play the sting. Play the sting. Come on. Well, this looks like a Northern California beach. In fact, that looks like the Desolation Wilderness. Oh, there's on top of them. I would never sit on a mountain. I don't care how hot she was. I would never sit on like a cliff of a mountain. This video has more women on beaches in collared shirts and vests than any other video and recorded history. Dude, that's the Northern California beach scene, man. It's cold on the beach up here. Yeah, look at those shoulder pads. They're wearing a suit jacket. I mean, I would wear

[92:30]a suit jacket on the beach if I was on Goat Head Beach. That looks like, well... Aaron, if you wore a suit jacket to the beach, I'd walk away from you. I would not walk to the beach. A suit jacket on the beach is just wrong. This is a killer song. This is so good. The video is entrancing, too. It's just their faces. And it makes me think, guys, what if I was a before and after thing for the sex clinic that I'm talking about? You know what I mean? I could be you the before and be like,

[93:00]this is how I have sex. And I'd be like, oh, ouch, ouch. You know what I mean when you always say ouch? And then Aaron could be the after. Like, that's what you learn at the clinic. And you always say ouch. It would show like the doctor's like moving Aaron's butt and be like this. And Aaron's like, Aaron's going like this. Oh, no. I think I was thinking of Goat Rock Beach. I can look that one up in Sonoma. All right. Okay, you guys, hey, you guys don't want to invest in the sex clinic? That's fine. You hate making money? That's fine with me. You're missing out. I'd be the guy

[93:30]that aced the Scantron but failed the over-the-road test. All right, Poindexter. Let's get in this and try it out. Oh, my God. Aced the Scantron? Can you imagine? Oh, that's good. Russell's looking and it's like, there's like a penis and Russell's like, okay, okay. Where's that going to go? And then he gets in the car. He's getting tested. He gets in the van. My dad's driving the van. Russell's in the sex part in the back. He's like, oh, man, I'm going to fail this totally. I just go ball

[94:00]in the back of the van. I failed. Russell, are you intentionally failing your sex license so you can just go back and have more sex during the test? I haven't thought about it like that. I didn't know. What? Guys, March of 1994. Tim McGraw. Not a moment too soon. With the hits like Indian Outlaw. Not a moment too soon. And Don't Take the Girl. Just classic country. I forget. Is he really? Is he related to Tug McGraw?

[94:31]Yeah. Tug's his dad. Kind of call back to our Tuck joke, but I couldn't quite get it. Oh. Reminds me of that movie Silence of the Lambs. Wasn't that the giant lineman that blew off his fingers with the July 4th fireworks? Oh. Tuck, you mean Yura? No. Who is that? That's Jason Tuck. That's a rule that Tom Brady doesn't even tell. Justin Tuck. I messed up my giant steel lineman. I apologize. Neil and Joe. Neil and Joe, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[95:00]Wasn't his name Jason St. Paul Pierre? Isn't that the one who actually blew off his fingers? Well, that was a French guy. That was a French version. I think you're thinking of Kabir Gbajam and Emilia. Can I get a... No. Can I get Witnesses and Interlude Switch? So sexy. And then finally, Something Wicked This Way Comes with Andre 3000. Look at this. This immediately sounds like an outcast song, right? You're like, oh, cool. We're in the dungeon. When you look at the way it's written... They're all in Atlanta. I mean, all of them are

[95:30]off of Atlanta. Is everything he's listed at is it always gray from outcasts? Because that's the way it's listed on when you read the list. Really? Yeah. I don't know. I also... I tried to do some sample sleuthing in this song because I thought it was the same sample as the Rappin' Forte song, Play His Club, but I can't figure out what the sample is. The internet does not tell me what the sample is on that one. That's like a bad ice cream shop. Yeah, you can't get a sample. No. Yeah, you said it

[96:00]better than me. I was working with you. I'm here with you. We're on a show together doing bits. I'm anti-ice cream samples. Never have gotten a sample. I always just pick it. You don't know until you finish the whole thing, right? What does the sample tell you? I just get the whole thing. Yep, I'm with you, Russell. My greatest weakness is if I go into an ice cream shop and there's a question mark flavor, I'm getting it every time. Oh, no way. I cannot resist the allure of the question mark flavor. I'm the guy who bought the jelly beans that were half of them tasted bad.

[96:30]God, I bought a lot of those. I thought that was so fun. I think tasting Bean boozled? Yes. That's terrible. I love bean boozled. That was coming in a couple times. Oh, it's so gross because the one they're like, this tastes like barf and you're like, yep, it does. It's so acidic. Oh, it tastes like worms, yeah. What the fuck, Aaron? I don't know what worms taste like. Listen, we are not talking about Crazy Next to Cool, the album. We are talking about the list and where does this album belong on the list? We've got it right now. Of course, we all remember 218. If that is the perfect place for crazy, that would be crazy

[97:00]and that would mean it's rolling well-toned, okay? Or would this be sexy? Okay, sexy means that it's too low on the list. It should have been higher up. That doesn't make any sense. That would be rolling boned. It should have been higher up on the list. We should have heard this already. Or is this a rolling groan? Okay, sir. Okay, good. That's good. That's good. This is Russell and I. I had the sex clinic next to each other. Rooms next to each other. If this was on a scantron,

[97:34]I would get it. Process of elimination. You haven't lived a real life. You're doing the math problems, Russell. Russell's solving all the math problems and then trying to have sex and it's like, hmm, can't figure that out. Okay, now, goodwill hunting. Okay, it's not making any sense. What do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan? Let's start with Aaron, TLC, Crazy Sexy Cool, 1994. I like this album.

[98:00]It's very fun. It is unfortunately placed on the list to me given what we're about to hear next week and because I listened to them both today, listened to this one and immediately the next one, I'm going to give it a rolling, a low rolling well-toned because I like it. I think the group is amazing, but I think next week's is going to be better. What do you think, Matt? Rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan? TLC, Crazy Sexy Cool. I think my 1994 self thinks that this album

[98:30]should be way higher in the list. Way higher in the list. That makes sense. Again, a lot of it comes from the MTV era. The videos were on all the time. Waterfalls is like everybody knows that song. Stuff like that. So on the Russell scale of having just banger after banger, this deserves to be way higher on the list just from an album standpoint. I can't believe that the Spice Girls sold, this is the second, you said this is the second most popular.

[99:01]At the time, so this came out in 94. It was the first all-female group to hit 10 million. And I think they got 12-ish or so. And the Spice Girls two years later in 96 passed it and hit 23 million. Spice Girls is, Spice Girls, that album's not on the list, which, you know, again, it's not a popularity contest. It's the best albums of all time. But you would think that that album would be on the list too, I guess, somewhere. But I'll just say it's rolling well-toned. Rolling well-toned right here. If I really, somebody told me it should be way higher on the list,

[99:30]I wouldn't argue with them. But I'll just say it's rolling well-toned. What do you think, Ross? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan? I'm gonna gotta say this is rolling well-toned. If you can be, at the time when you came out, if you were the greatest album of your type of group or your genre of music, this has to be on the list. It's got the two commercial hits, which I think are, the only thing to me that I don't think holds up are the interludes. Maybe at the time, the interludes were popular, but the interludes to now, now are an instant skip. If I had this on vinyl, it would be painful