Janet Jackson: Control (1986)

[0:00]In 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the Order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research All opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy becca did it better We're up to album oh my god i typed in 11 in my notes it's 111 but i saw 11 and i panicked i was Like no am i in some sort of nightmare time loop here and from 1986 this is control by ms jackson Janet if you're nasty you know sometimes i think that maybe we're not using this podcast to Make enough money so i've decided to devote the part of this podcast where we do a song This is totally about making money so if you listen close you might hear some subtle Product placement okay let's do it what's up everybody welcome to Camera I've decided to use this portion of the show to advertise things from our red bubble store

[1:00]I got a red bubble and type in beck did it better to search and these are some of my favorite Products with the beck did it better logo on it we've got socks we've got masks we've got mugs We've got an apron how about a mini skirt shower curtain we've got a shower Mats we've got a poster we've got a debate all these things that when people say oh what is that You will need to explain that you still listen to the podcast and pray that they don't oh Oh Oh yeah You know it's good it starts with shirty Mouse have a comforter for your bed it's only 130 It's a place where you can shop Yeah we sell a crop top oh Guess who set it up Get a bag for your laptop I realize now i i meant to put online store where she sings control and i forgot

[2:00]Whoops Get a coffee mug i'll try to fill it in here Get some leggings we'll cover for your duvet There's all that crap they make i'm gonna store you can buy an acrylic block Online store or get some back to the better socks online store if there's something you can't see Online store you can always email me When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time that felt dirty just doing that I'll tell you what we have sold two items believe it or not You purchased her didn't purchase they were used back to the better side You guys know you know me no we really have i was blown away welcome everybody this is back to a

[3:00]Better i'm here with some guys or whatever but i listen i was blown away by the fact that we had Sold a greeting card and then what else did we sell god we sold something and it blew my mind i Was like are you serious somebody actually i mean if the duvet cover goes that's obviously Going to be someone who russell's taking home for sure can you imagine russell you Show up oh my god and she's like she's like so tell me more about this pocket it's like well we Do have bed and she's like wait a minute i just bought a bed hang on you call them bed covers how Old are you aren't you a 47 year old man you call them bed cover you want to come back to my can you Imagine she's like come back to my place and you didn't know and then she's like oh this is my new Duvet cover and it says back to the better and you're like what do i do do i tell her or not So old you're still using a mouse pad Who uses a mouse pad anymore i don't even need those well no but man don't say that during the

[4:00]Episode where we're selling our crap can you imagine that at least the woman would know when Russ is making love to her wearing his noise canceling the headphones what he's listening to You know what i mean like she looks around the room and it's all beck did a better gear She's looking at him the best about it rob is i've got those mirrors on my ceiling so if she Can see it she can see the back did a better design from any position she can't miss it This will never there's nowhere in the room where she won't be able to see that did better Rob's right god and then what if you were with a woman who used to date back and she actually Tells you like i'm sorry beck did it better like that would be the ultimate I think the ultimate would be if the person i brought home was leonardo dicaprio and he was Wearing noise canceling headphones and listening to the podcast while we were on The bed cover and then he asked you how old you are and you're like well i'm sorry i'm actually I know i look 25 but you know what guys i was worried that we haven't been together in like three weeks that we Had lost our magic we still 100 got it we are starting out right away i mean look at this

[5:00]Imagine russ you bring your date home she rips off your beck did it better lightweight sweatshirt For 39 dollars and 10 cents underneath you are wearing a beck did it better tank top for 22 32 Yes mini skirt size russian dolla beck did it better merchandise she tells you i'm gonna get Something more comfortable She comes out wearing beck did it better leggings with the repeated logo yes over a under a beck did It better mini skirt you fluff up your beck did it better pillows and say to her oh let me get out my Computer for my beck did it better laptop sleeve and then you have a poster i mean that's pretty Boring a poster and then when she's leaving in a couple hours you can pay her out of your beck did It better wallet that you got now be fair i don't think they actually have a beck did it better Wallet now they do have a pin look at these socks go up there's a there's a phone wallet Oh my god right there russell rob can you go up to the very top for the red bubble

[6:00]Store i gotta say these hats here are very low quality hats i have to say i judge people if They have low quality baseball hat like you know like those i don't even know it's like a canvas Type material it's not like a a baseball type hat it's not like some sort of stretch thing it's just Like the cheapest hat you can get if i see people wearing like a cheap you know i don't even know Would call that material but if i see those types of hats i definitely judge now can i tell you i Personally set up every one of these items and decided what they look like and a lot of them i Did just put up because i thought they were funny for example the dad hat there's a hat up here It's just called the dad i was gonna buy one for man you could definitely wear that going fly Fishing that looks like a hat you wear fly fishing yeah i do think though one of the funniest things Is i do love the beck did a better backpack the little kid onesie but there's also an apron like Guys what oh Somebody that you respect them more than getting them a beck did a better apron a podcast by four Guys for somebody let's face it you're gonna give it to your wife she's gonna be the kitchen wearing

[7:00]Your podcast apron oh my god that's so great or or maybe russell's date comes downstairs The smell of eggs bacon waffles wafting to her nose she looks and what is russell wearing Nothing but the beck did a better apron oh oh come on now Well there is 91 days till christmas rob so all these things make a perfect christmas gift for People wouldn't they i i did notice rob that the socks only come in pairs they don't come in singles I don't know what that means john from rice lake will be disappointed about that Listen if you want me to make a separate one i can just make whatever you guys want to so tell Me but we have sold two things we have decided that all the money that we sell from these that Is going to charity aaron you have picked out a charity do you want to tell us about it real quick Sure i chose the save the music foundation which goes a long way to help children learn

[8:00]Music in school so it's a we're a music podcast we're for the children so the save the music Organization i checked them out they are a highly rated charity they do work all across The united states in in the service of music education well do they do real music or just Bullshit with computers that anyone could do like are there Guitars or drums or anything yes they provide lessons for kids and instruments as I don't know their website says it's bullshit music with just computers and shit so i don't Know i like it i think it's really good so yeah go check out the store and we know you're Not going to we know you're not but whatever just humorous say buy somebody for christmas Then the money goes to charity or so i mean i've never heard of this red bubble right red And then bubble like bubble gum yes i'm gonna say our t public this is a very boring story but Public beck did a better store has been reinstated due to some emails sent by me saying that i'm very Upset with them or we don't want to do business with them get rid of well but so what they did is

[9:00]That they reinstated our store but there's absolutely no way to search for beck did a Better merch if you put in beck did a better into the search it takes you to shirts that aren't at Ours it will not show ours so i have officially abandoned the t public site even though There was some cool stuff on there if you can hustle you can maybe find it but the red bubble Has i mean guys a miniskirt if i see somebody wearing a beck did a better Miniskirt my life will be made okay and i don't even care who it is aaron think about it okay so Just maybe i'm in my birthday is coming up i think i'd look in the minute what if i did what if i Showed up in new york wearing a beck did a better miniskirt where would we go where did you take me First oh i've got well i think that would call for us going to a nice drag brunch in the morning We would head down and see a drag brunch and then i would take you back to my house because it turns Out i made 10 bets on various football games that you didn't know about when you showed up and i Have to find out only that i've broken even i've broken totally even on the day and essentially Wasted my time and money so listen i got three guys here i've got matt in minneapolis matt how

[10:00]Are you doing today good my phone just buzzed me and said it's time for bed so you know i'm Doing great right now doing great energy i've got matt i've got russell in minnesota russell how Are you doing today this is a podcast about control my control of what i say control of when i In this episode i'm gonna do it my way my way i was gonna say i love that song by old blue Eyes another guy with a famously huge hog i love those stories then again oh yeah apparently he was Like tiny guy what was his somebody in the biography about him said that he was like 98 pounds and like five of those were just dick Like Unlike my life where we have a We have a text chain among friends where they two bad parts of this they emailed out these Vegetarian sausages that were these little short gray and they looked those looked pretty awful

[11:00]They looked awful and somebody sent it out saying oh this is rob's penis and you know what the worst Part is it literally looked exactly like my penis i was blown away they're like these short Post those on instagram or not yes i'm going to actually these short little stubby gray things They looked exactly like an uncircumcised penis it was blew my mind But what's the deal with those like you're the package is supposed to lay flat right but it's Like they stored them in a they stored them vertically and like vertically so you could Display them and everything just kind of shrunk down not cold enough either like i don't think The storage there is is right i wouldn't eat those i mean it's not meat so what does it matter Yeah i don't know imagine being able to store it vertically anymore i mean i'm so old But so that would that's going to be my like i realize now this is kind of my legacy this podcast And all this crap we're going to fill up landfills with that we're selling that's my Legacy and it's just going to be me talking about how weird and small my penis is so that's great Unlike frank sinatra who famously huge dong and i've got aaron out in california now aaron just

[12:00]Admitted something to us earlier he said turns out he's colorblind and he's shocked because the Diagnosis it came right out of the red aaron how are you doing oh just like this album cover rob Let's let's let's wait a while before we go too far What What What What What You do one song, I'd hear about abstinence there. It's like, I better zero in on that one. That one struck a bit of a chord For my Bumble and online dating days. Listen, let's get into the voicemail. I just called to say... You're so stupid. You can kiss my ass. God, our listeners are dumb shits. They're just the dumbest of the dumb. God, our listeners are dumb shits. Just the dumbest of the dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb shit listeners. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb shit listeners. You think only dumb music is made on the computer. Hey guys, Matt from New York. Just a few weeks ago, Rob went over to Ireland

[13:00]And if you recall, he came back Sounding real whiny and scared About the driving conditions over there. So a fellow downloader and I Decided to investigate. Oh my God, Russell about this? I headed over and You know what? Rob's actually really smart. It is completely terrifying. We got in not one, but Two trips in the first three days Of trying to avoid these rally car racers Through the Country field. And yeah, Just absolutely insane. Relatedly, Well there, Over in Belfast, We had a night out With a few too many Baby Guinnesses, Which if you don't know what I'm talking about, You should look it up. They're the cutest drink you've ever seen. But anyway, we had a few Of these and got a little frisky at a Belfast pub

[14:00]And within about four seconds had a bouncer come And tell us to stop Or that we would be given the boot immediately. So question here is middle-aged adult PDA. What do we think? Oh, that kind of frisky. I thought you guys were like joining the IRA. I get it. - Jesus Christ. - I don't know. - Yes, okay. So you're definitely wrong. - Had a few too many Guinnesses. - Our listeners are not running guns. - Yeah. - What? - We joined Sinn Fein and I don't know. Things really took a turn. - So clarifying, Matt from New York and his buddy, They were getting a little frisky together. Like they were having a good time. So they were slapping each other. On the back. - Yeah, I don't know. - Things like that. - All these people are going out with their roommates And having a great time, man. I don't know. We, I'm missing out. I'm not having any fun with my roommate. I can tell you that right now. - But the question was PDA.

[15:00]What are your thoughts? That's the ultimate question, right? - Middle-aged PDA. - Yeah. - I got to say. - Like among buddies or like among? - I'm assuming the downloader is a female friend of his. Knowing that. - Is that what downloader means? - Downloaders are females. - I don't know. - What? - I don't know. - I don't understand. - What? - Now I feel stupid. - Yeah. - Matt, if your view goes a certain way on this, I could meet you at a public park Within the next five minutes. - Oh my God. How about a rest stop? I heard that's pretty private. - I was actually, I once went out with a lady a few times And I met on one of the online dating sites And she was very much, she said very much, "I'm a public display of affection person." And I said, "Well, I am really not." - What? - I remember at one point we had a disagreement And this didn't happen, but I said like, for example, Never hold a woman's hand walking through a Home Depot. I've told you guys this, right? - No, no, it's not. - Like I'm not a hand holder. - Wait, is it just Home Depot or is it other? - Any sort of like big box retailer. - The mall is fine, Target's fine, but not Home Depot.

[16:00]- Any sort of big box or like big building retailer, Like if the sun is out, There cannot be any hand holding of out. - If the sun is out. - Can I write this down on my list Of least surprising things I've ever heard? Ah, yes, number one. Russell does not want to hold hands With somebody out in public. What a huge shock. - No, it's only if the sun is out And it's like in a huge public place. - So you want to get like, So I'm going to assume right now That you think making out with somebody at a bar, Like middle-aged person at a bar is wrong, Russell. - Oh, I would be horrified. I, there's no way. - See, that's what I was going to go with. That was going to be my line. Like a little hugging, snuggling up, Maybe a little pat on the ass, right? That's fine. But like when tongue starts coming out, I think that's just a little bit too far. - That's when you got to take it To the single stall bathroom that they have there. - Right. - You know. - Yeah. - I think if tongue comes out in any form or fashion, That's the time. - Any type of it. - So I think that's actually a good idea, man. I think making, So you think public display of affection is okay As long as there's no tongue.

[17:00]I like that. I think that's a good- - That's the line. That's my line. - And is that for everyone Or is it specifically middle-aged? I mean, is there an age scale or not? - I think- - That's the other question. - I think when you're young, I think when you're young, I mean, Aaron, just imagine, I just want you to imagine this. Making out with somebody. - Sounds good. - Who's not your wife. - Sounds good. - I mean, unbelievable. I can't believe you said that. That sounds good. You sicko. - Nice try. Nice try. - Usually if you're at a pub. - Right. - Like this guy and his- - Downloader. - I'm still baffled that downloaders are females. I just didn't put that together. - I never caught that before. - Our miniskirts are flying off the shelves. - Usually if you're there, I mean, you're half in the bag, right? If not fully in the bag. - All the way. - And it's just not a good display anyways When you're drunk and getting, Getting after yourself. - Yeah, and I don't like watching From the other side of the pub. Watching. - I want to be watching right up close, right Rob? - Yeah. - I mean, my general feeling is like any kind of making out Like nice work if you can get it. And if if people don't want to see it,

[18:00]They don't have to look. But my concern- - That's true. - My concern here is Rob is showing us the ingredients, The recipe for this baby Guinness. And it's two ounces of coffee flavored liqueur And a half an ounce of Irish cream liqueur. There's gotta be a point where like, You just don't feel good. Like I'd be concerned about someone just yakking on someone. - Rob's belly is grumbling just thinking about that. - I mean, if you're all hopped up on those, I'm concerned about how everybody's feeling. - I mean, at that point, You just point that out to the balancer. You're like, look, this is what I'm drinking. I need to make out now because when I go home, I mean, I'm going to have insane diarrhea And we're in a, we're in a, we're in a hospital. - Explosive? Would it be an explosive? - We're in a small, I hope. It would be mind bending. - Mind bending? - Yeah. - I'd come out drinking a Gatorade. It'd be crazy. - Electrolytes. I need those electrolytes. Bring them back. - And you know, that's the time where you got the hotel That was so fancy. It's like a barn door on the bathroom,

[19:00]- The barn doors are the worst. I ran into another one in Nashville this last week. It's the worst. - Oh no, honey, I'm just dumping some old water Down into the toilet, Big excuse. Yeah. - Turn the shower on. Yeah. - The old, Why did you take a 25 minute shower? Well, really it was only about a three minute shower. I got to say, I thought a baby Guinness was just, He was drinking Guinnesses that were small. - I thought so too. - And instead it was two ounces of coffee And a half Irish cream. - I just, yeah. I figured it was just the size of Guinness That they give to children. Like it was just like. - You know, I spend a lot of time in pubs there And I would just get the cider and the whiskey. Like this is, seems like you're kind of, I mean, honestly, this kind of seems Like a baby shower drink. - Well, if he was in Belfast, yeah. - If he was in Belfast, that's Northern Ireland, right? So he might as, Might be just different up in Northern Ireland. I don't know. - Jenny went in classic Jenny fashion. She went up there and went to the Titanic museum And it was like, oh my God, it's so great. They have a hotel. We should stay there. I was like, she loves depressing shit.

[20:00]It's her favorite thing is to be depressed about things. I think that's why she married me, honestly. Let's get this straight, Matt. - That's the best jokey man all day. - Matt's line is no tongue, Russell's line. Russell's line is any contact in a public place whatsoever. So that's. - It's out, especially big box stores. - Especially Home Depot, especially major retailers. - What if it's like stuff for your, What if it bed, bath, beyond, same thing? - Same thing, big box, it's out. - Target? - Out, it's out. - I'm begging you to stop saying big box stores. I have used all my willpower. I really have. Please. - Hello. - Also, I want to say guys, how's. - I'm a big box. - You're a classic dad. How stressed would you be crashing a rental car three times? - Three times? - Yeah, how bad, well, how bad of a driver are you? - I don't know, like three crashes, right? Like after the second one, you switch drivers or what? - And I, the only reason I can say this,

[21:00]The only reason I can say this, 'cause I spent four days hammering an Audi eight All the way through that countryside And not one scratch or anything. So I can confidently. - You did it. - Come after this listener and their downloader, Who's a female, it's still crazy. It's still mind blowing. - If the downloader, and I'm gonna edit this out. This is just for you guys. It's just a little secret treat. If this downloader, it just, you can call back in, okay? You don't have to say anything, But if the downloader was driving For maybe the majority of those accidents, Just call back in and just cough. Just cough into the phone and we'll know. And then tap three, clap three times. - That's right. - You don't have to say anything. You don't, you don't go on the record, but we'll know. It's not it at all. Rolling going, Aaron, how's it going with you? - Oh, it's going great. You guys, it's been so long since, Since we last spoke. So the last time we talked was on a Friday night And a lot's happened since then, But on the Saturday after we spoke the last time, That Saturday was my lucky day. It was absolutely my lucky day. - Wow. - You guys wanna hear? - Oh boy. - Do you wanna hear how my lucky day went?

[22:00]- Go ahead, Aaron. We're just gonna play this. - Okay. All right, so it was a Saturday And my sister-in-law was here to visit. So we got up and I said, Oh, I like this. And I said, well, how about if I take Wallace to the library? We were trying to figure out how to spend our day. I said, why don't I take Wallace to the library? So I took Wallace over to the Montclair Library And literally it was my lucky day. On the lucky day bookshelf was the book "Dilla Time" By Dan Charnas. And the lucky day shelf at the library Are high demand books that somehow they have there For no wait, no holds, nothing. You get to 21 day checkout, no renewals. You check out this book, you're committed, You're gonna read the book. It's a great book. I just finished it, highly recommend. It's about Jay Dilla and his manipulation of time, How he makes beats, the way he changed music. The whole thesis is not just that he changed hip hop music, But he was the first hip hop producer To change how other musicians,

[23:00]Particularly jazz musicians, play their own instruments. People like Robert Glasper, Kareem Riggins. And one of the really excellent things about this book Is that one of the central figures In Dilla's life and career was a DJ from Detroit Named DJ House Shoes. I did not know about DJ House Shoes in Dilla. - DJ House Shoes. - DJ House Shoes was an contemporary of Dilla. He was a guy who hoarded Dilla beats And released some of them early in Dilla's career And was important in the Detroit music scene. So that was "Lucky Day" part number one. - Aaron, I'm gonna play one Dilla song under this. What should I play? - You should play "The Look of Love" By Slum Village from "Fantastic" volume two. - All right. - I'm gonna listen to that. - All right. - Oh, I like this. Gotta be that kid. - I think Aaron and I might have different definitions Of a lucky day. - Oh, your lucky day doesn't involve going to the library

[24:00]And seeing a book? I mean, I really try, guys. I try not to make fun of him. I hear the audience, everybody's telling me, "Oh, you're so mean to Aaron. You're so mean to Aaron." He just told a story about going to the library And getting a book. - Just let it breathe. Just let it breathe. - It was a fantastic book. - You gotta let it get to the ground. - You gotta let it get to the good part. Remember, it's always the last part. It's always the good. You gotta let them get to the good part. - Yeah. So that was lucky day, part number one. Part number two, went to the donut shop. Got a couple of donuts, the Colonial Donuts, The finest in Oakland. And then of course, that day happened to be The Iowa versus Iowa State football game. As you guys know, I am afflicted With Iowa State Cyclone fandom. It's what my family does. It's what I do. It's the only football game That I get invested in every year. We went out to our friend's pool in Concord. I brought the iPad along. I watched the game poolside with a margarita in my hand. And the Iowa State Cyclones defeated the Hawkeyes 10 to seven In one of the ugliest but most beautiful World you'll ever see in your life.

[25:00]And I was there watching it with my family. After I got the Dilla Book and donuts. It was beautiful. - Fuck off with that. - Oh, such a perfect day. - That was it. So that was the day. And I've been waiting weeks. To tell you guys about my lucky day. Last Saturday, September 10th. - I cannot imagine that you say that you're watched That with your family. Like they were doing anything. I know what happened. You, you went, you go, listen, I'll go to this thing. But I'm going to watch the football game. And everybody's like, okay. And then you get there to go, just let you know, I'm watching the game on this. And everybody goes, okay. And then you're in the corner by yourself going, yeah. Like your kids are playing. Like, why won't dad come in the pool? - I was in the pool. No, I was in the pool the whole time. I mean, I did. Eventually the iPad died and I had to finish watching it On my phone inside for the last two minutes. But the rest of the time I was in the pool, man. - You were in the, They might not have had a public bathroom for your new use. So you had to go in the pool at some point. Right? Right Rob?

[26:00]- Yeah, he looked like he was noodling. Cause he was in the pool, but his arms were on the side. He was watching the game like in the sun. He could barely see the iPad. He's like, this is still better than hanging out With my family. - What a dad move, Aaron. I love it. - When I was in Florida last year, I actually was doing research for the podcast And I brought my laptop down to the beach. What are your guys' thoughts on that? Electronics or computers on the beach? - It should be outlawed. You should be executed. - It's not a good idea. Not a good idea. No. - I'm against, I'm against capital punishment, But in that case I'd be like, okay, let it go. Cause you cannot bring It is two totally different things. And then what, it's a guarantee. You're never going to go in the water, right? Cause you can't just leave the computer Or you just cover it up with a towel and come back. The seagull's flying away with it. Like. - Rosie, I'm guessing you're against Corporal punishment too, But what's one thing that you would allow Corporal punishment for? - We should save this for Morris Keeper Smith's album. - It's like people who return stuff to the grocery store,

[27:00]Like multiple days later, And like, they're like standing there Holding up the whole line Because they got to tell somebody a story about it. I don't know. That one maybe, that might be it. That might be the one. - That's a good one. - Thank you. - I saw a guy once at Home Depot. He was returning a dead tree. Is that the same? - That's allowed though. - Was he holding hands with anyone or not? - A lot of times those, like Bachman's, Bachman's in Minnesota here. You can return stuff if it didn't last a year, It says right on there. And so you can literally not water it and return it. It looks like the dumbest thing in the world. - That's pretty, what kind of psychopath Do you have to be? - Right. Well, that's true. I know. I have no idea. - People are so cheap, Russell. They'll go to no water. No, I mean. - My, my corporate pun, corporal punishment one is The people who have a ton of stuff in their basket Or in a cart and do the self-checkout and take forever In a self-checkout line with a lot of items. F those people. I'm willing to, I'm willing to flip the switch on them.

[28:00]I could get a shit. - Are we talking about corporal or capital? - I was going to say. - I was going to say capital, sorry. I'm taking it up a notch. - Oh, wow. I believe there should be corporal punishment For me every night. The only thing I like anymore. Listen, I'm going to strap you to this bed And I'm going to feed you five baby Guinnesses. All right. - That's it. That's all I got. How's it rolling going with Matt? - Oh, Aaron. So good. You remembered. - Yeah. Good. I, I've started making a list so I can remember this stuff Cause it has been a long time since. Then I, half the stuff on my list, I don't even remember why I put it on the list. So I got to like blow right by it. I don't know. It's something about flashlight to see Menzies. I don't know what that means. - What? - No idea. I saw somebody driving down the road the other day That had a license plate that just said tequila. So they got a personalized license plate

[29:00]That said tequila. I mean, the only way that you could have a license plate That said tequila is if you were dry, right? I mean, there is no way you would even come close If you were driving at night, Maybe not even having one beer of having a tequila. - You could have a tequila license plate. Would you? You got to think. - You're just asking for trouble. - You got to think that you were, Oh my God, I picked the, Is this really the best version? The first version that comes up? - Just a disaster. I was trying to see if Rob was, Rob was flailing to try to find the tequila soggy version. I found it from the Saturday Night Beach Nuts show From 1958. - That guy looks like Joaquin Phoenix. - And do you think, Do you think the person who has a tequila vanity plate Like drinks high eds? Or is it just like Cuervo every day? - Just any tequila that you can get there. - Yeah, I have no idea. I mean, it just seems like the biggest red flag in the world. I don't know why you'd do that. I, yeah. - And you stopped the song before they said tequila.

[30:00]- Okay, fine. - Tequila! - There we go. Perfect. - There you go. - They're dancing like Pee Wee Herb in there. - Yeah, we should, hey what? We should watch the Pee Wee Herman tequila dance. - That's another, it's a good one. Now I will say that the champs do have tequila Just written on their drum, on their bass drum, Where you would have like the Beatles or whatever. That makes you think that maybe their concerts Aren't that long. When a band has both the band name And the name of a song on the drum, You're like, these guys can't have that many good songs, Right? - Last thing, it was hanging out with a few listeners This past, a couple of days ago. Yeah, on Friday, right? One of them may or may not be one of my wife's friends That I can actually stand, but-- - The one. - The one. I still haven't told the one yet which one they are And it's actually caused a little bit of a problem, But I'm still not gonna tell you. One of them may or may not have been there

[31:00]Or may not have been her house, May or may not have been. But I think I found a new favorite thing of drinking Is to listen to people talk about all of their, Old friends from high school That they don't talk to anymore And they always wonder about what happened. Like, what happened to Michelle? I don't know what happened to Michelle, And so do you guys ever sit around And just think about like your old friends That you don't talk to anymore or anything? Like, I feel like I don't, Like there's people that come up randomly And you're like, oh yeah, that dude. But like, I never remember them Until somebody brings them up. But it's turned into one of the great things In the world is to be like, Oh, I wonder what happened to John From Rice Lake, Wisconsin. He never calls anybody anymore. Things like that, right? - I definitely do. I think the most about a friend of mine named Scott Who had the tiniest hands I've ever seen. And he's either- - What? - Smells like cabbage. - That's what you remembered him for?

[32:00]- He's either a billionaire or in jail. Only one of the two, only one of those two choices. And then my friend, Michael- - Hold on. How do you spell his last name? - Facebook, small hands. - Oh, this isn't right. - That's terrible. I shouldn't have said that. - I'll bleep out his last name. - My friend, Michael, who knew the soundtrack To the movie "Mulan" backwards and forwards. And now when we listen to the Disney playlist On Apple Music, I can't hear anyone else's voice Except for Michael's voice when I hear the songs From "Mulan" and I haven't seen him for 20 years either. So yeah, it happens to me all the time. - I was- - There was a guy named Abel that was in college. I think he was your guy's age. And like Barry from "Burnsville" Used to always talk to Abel in the dorms. - Barry never calls in anymore. I don't think he's called in- - No, he never calls in. I don't know what's going on. - But Barry would always talk to Abel. I just like, those are the people that I worry, Wonder about, not worry about. I wonder about like Abel. What the hell is Abel up to these days and things like that?

[33:00]- I wonder about people all the time, man. That's one of my favorite pastimes. - But it was a lot of fun to sit around And hear about all these people that you just like, Oh, what are they doing? Oh, well. She wasn't doing so hot. She had to go over to Dubai. - Oh no. - Now she's back. Good things like that. - Her hands are so much bigger now. Like everything's gonna be fine. - Yeah. All sorts of stuff. - Enhancements. - Hand enhancements. - Yeah, hand enhancements. - Have you heard about the lengthening That's going on for people who are short? And then like you could put- - During COVID, that was a big, They had a big outbreak of that. - Yeah. - Break their legs, right? - They like break their legs And they do like a half a spin every week Or something so you like can gain six inches Just by lengthening your femur. - Sign me up. - Yeah, that's crazy. - Let's do it. - That's so weird. - Can you imagine you show up at work post-pandemic And you're just taller? Like who wouldn't notice that? Who wouldn't notice that you're tall? I love guys who are obsessed with being like taller

[34:00]Are the same as like guys who are obsessed with like, When I see a guy who obviously dyes their hair. - Their penis size and want like larger penises. - That's normal. That's actually normal stuff. Psychologically, that's fine. - Oh, okay. - I have a college roommate who used to give me shit. I'm about six foot even and he was a taller person And he used to give me shit saying, "Girls will never grow out with a guy who's under 6'2". - Yeah. - What are you guys' thoughts on that? - You proved me wrong, Russell. - I happen to remember that gentleman. - You did prove me wrong for many years, right? - I wouldn't put a lot of stake in most of what he said, so. - Yeah, whatever happened to that guy? - Yeah, whatever happened to that guy, right? - I feel like this is a show that's- - He doesn't even call us anymore. - But don't you see that? Don't you see a guy who like dyes their hair? Like I saw a guy this weekend, he dyes his hair like black, But it comes out as like a light brown You can just tell. And I'm like, is this really what you want? This is what makes you- - I believe it's called chestnut. - What if you had some nuts on your chest? What would they be called?

[35:00]- I was gonna say, I bought this stuff called chin nuts. - I did. I would, I reffed a football game yesterday In the afternoon and one of the other refs, This guy makes a tackle and then gets up and totally Slides his nuts right across the other guy's face mask Like on purpose, right? And the ref in the middle of the game And everybody could hear said, "If you slide your nut sack across his face mask "one more time." And it was the funniest thing that I'd ever heard. Like, good for you. That's a good description. - Stuff you never thought you'd say out loud. - High school football rules. - See, if that would have occurred at nighttime, Matt, It would have been cool. That shit can't happen in the daytime. Daytime or at bed, bath and beyond, that is out. - Get it out of here. Russell, rolling, going. How's it going with you, my friend? - Rolling, going. Last week, Matt, you were saying you were getting excited For the Viking season and you were starting To watch the games with your boys. I actually went to a game today. I went to the Vikings Lions game. I went in person. - Nice. Wow.

[36:00]Whoa. - I was like what? - What event got you to actually go To a live sporting event? What happened? - You know what? I always love going to, I love going To events. I love going to new fun things. - You do like going to things live. - I go to a Vikings game maybe every couple of years Or something like that. So not too often. I was like, they're going to be playing the Lions. They're playing against Dan Campbell, The worst coach in the league. We're going to win this game, right? So I go, and we've talked before about like, Going to sporting events can be a real bummer if they lose. It's not always that fun. And you're like, man, this is kind of sucked, waste of money. You know, the team didn't play well. Whereas most of the time concerts are just, are good. But there's something about live sports Where there's just these ups and downs. And swings of emotions. And today it happened with the Vikings. They were down 14. They came back, they were down, they came back. And then they ended up winning like in the last minute Of the game. So it was super fun. - Boom shakalaka! - Yeah. - It was a very tough game to watch on TV. I'm not going to lie. It was just like, well, wasted my life

[37:00]Again, another three hours down the drain. And then it was like a sigh of relief when they actually Scored that last touchdown. - But to be in the stadium when they come back And then they ultimately, they take the lead and they close Out a game with the interception. It's just pandemonium in there. Like you can't get that same type of feeling at a concert. It's just, the ups and downs are crazy. So it was a great time, But I thought I'd share some of my experiences from the game. See what you guys thought of that. - That's good. The one thing I saw on TV, Russell, before I don't want to, Hopefully this isn't taking away from your thing, But the one thing that was always great on those comebacks To watch on TV is when they cut away to like 40 year old men Who are wearing 20 year old jerseys and they're high-fiving And spilling their beers all over each other. That is one of the greatest things to watch on TV. - The other thing is, and I used to be one of these sports Fans, but I'm really no longer like if they lose. It doesn't, it doesn't bother me any more anyway, But you see all these middle-aged people that are just living And dying with this right now, and they're getting so angry

[38:00]And they're yelling like these coaches don't know anything. And they're you can see they're making motions With their hands. Like they know where everyone needs to be on the field. These guys are just idiots, - Absolutely. - And it's like the people around you talk, Like they know what's going on, But really all's they're doing is yelling, get him, Get him every couple minutes. It's just the worst. - I would say we either need to run the ball more Or pass the ball more. And then when they do that, they get mad. Like. - You guys didn't ask me what I would bring Corporal punishment back for. I was going to go take the high road and say nothing, You guys, nothing is that bad that we could, we should have, You know, but we figured it out right here, Russell. Fans in the stands are yelling at coaches and refs Because they think they know better. And there should be a weird place in this world For those people. - So one of the coolest parts of the game, I know we've had people call him before. - Like the back of a Volkswagen? - That's a weird place, sure. So Matt's friends had called in. We've had callers, this has been a while, But call in about the soccer goal song at,

[39:00]At the loons game, right? We discussed whether it was an Oasis or offspring Or whoever that was the right. - Wonderwall. - But you know what they have for the Vikings When the Vikings score it's let's go crazy. It's Prince. And we talked about whether that should be a goal song, But that was a fantastic touchdown song. What do you guys think is that for a touchdown song In a Vikings game? - Perfect. I mean, how could you pick? - I think it's great. It's also great for tonight when we're talking About a Minneapolis album, that's the Minneapolis sound. - Yeah. - They don't do this part, do they? - Yeah. - Like they score it and you have to kind of wait for it To like, this was the part I was just singing During normal parts of the game. Then people next to me, Rob. - But it kind of, again, it's a Minnesota sound. - Everyone's great. - It's a Minnesota team. They're purple, all that good stuff, right? - It's perfect. - Still with the loons, they're taking Oasis, Who is a big Man City fan and all this stuff From over the pond and trying to bring over here. Like it makes no sense. Makes no sense. Great song, but it makes no sense. So I love it. - Let's go crazy, great choice.

[40:00]- The other thing I thought was interesting here Is after a touchdown or after a field goal, They put something up on the Jumbotron. It's called the scoring summary. And it has how many plays and everything, But it's sponsored by something. It is sponsored by the state of South Dakota. South Dakota scoring summary. What are your guys' thoughts about like, When you see state ads Hey, come to Nebraska or come to South Dakota. Like why is South Dakota sponsoring the scoring summary At the Vikings game? - That's wrong to me, right? South Dakota, guess what? They're not your Vikings, okay? Fuck off. You don't get to just advertise. - Yeah, but if you owned the Vikings, You're happy to take as many South Dakotas. - I understand. I understand that, but it's like- - I do recall some of the most rabid Viking fans I knew In college were South Dakotans. - Yeah, 'cause they got jack shit to do over there. - What they're all about. - They got jack rabbits and jack shit else to do. - What else, what do you want to do today? Oh, let's go see Mount Rushmore. Okay, that was great. What else do you want to do? Oh, let's go to the Badlands. Okay.

[41:00]- I've been to Pierce- - Wall Drug, Rob. - That's my life. - They got Wall Drug and they got the Corn Palace. - That's true. - Don't forget about the Corn Palace. - Yeah, it's all shit where you're- - Terry Redland, that artist. - When you're driving through to a better state, You're like, well, we got to stop And go to the bathroom somewhere. What are we going to do in South Dakota? - Please note that I am not joining in on this. I am not part of this conversation. As someone who is not from- - The only thing good about South Dakota is they can be Like, well, at least we're not fucking North Dakota. You know what I mean? Like, if you're North Dakota, What do you put on your state quarter? Who knows? Who knows what's on the North Dakota state quarter? - Tatonka. - Tatonka. - Wait, what's on the Minnesota state quarter? - Oh, I assume some lakes or something. I don't know. - Cool shit. - A loon. - Oh, how about this? Maybe a professional sports team. Fuck off. You don't just get to say whatever you want. - I was just curious. - You know, in South Dakota, they also have a governor That's got some really good views. - Oh, God. - And I think she's really going somewhere. - Oh, God. - Thanks, Aaron. Thanks, Aaron. This is what you caused. - Another thing I noticed at the game, I don't know how many times you guys have been To US Bank Stadium. You know, I had a horrible concert experience there,

[42:00]But I actually got pretty good seats in the lower deck. That lower deck, so I could see, Because I've now decided I will never Sit in the upper deck there again. I'm too afraid of the heights. I'm not doing it. - You're a successful guy. Just pay a little bit more. It's all good. - Now, let me ask you, Russell, To buy just a single ticket to this game. I mean, was it a lot more to go down? - Did it come with a t-shirt? - Yeah, just one ticket, I'm sure, Is all you got down on the lower level. Is that a lot, or? - I may have made it clear to the Vikings fan That I was with that we would not be buying t-shirts At this game. - Oh, no. - Oh, so there were two tickets. There were two. Oh, there were two tickets. - I love these. Russell's officially entered That stage of a relationship. We are not buying t-shirts at this time. But so one thing I noticed on the, In the lower deck in the chairs, They had armrests, the armrests flip up or down. What do you think I did? Were the armrests up in my seat, Or were the armrests down? - Where are you gonna put those drinks? Oh, the drinks holders are in front, aren't they? - Up front, yeah. - They're in the seat in front. Armrests were up.

[43:00]These little armrests, everyone had them up. It was a great deal. It's kind of like arms up. - Armrests up. - There was one part of the game, I don't know if you guys saw this, Where a player on the Lions had a touchdown, And he started kind of doing like the ravishing Rick Rude. - Ooh. - He might not have even shown it on TV. - No, he got a penalty for it, yeah. - But so they gave him a penalty. It was funny, 'cause right when he did it, I heard this middle-aged woman behind me, And she goes, "Oh, that's gonna be a penalty "for excessive celebration for gyrating." - Yes. - So what are your guys' thoughts on gyrating After a touchdown or a big play at a sporting event? - Oh, my God. - Gyrating. - I am a huge fan of gyrating. - I am a huge fan of all celebrations, So long as they're not in the face of the opponent, right? If you're just having fun with whoever, Especially if you're a pro, right? You're a pro, you're getting paid to do this. - Yes. - Have at it, gyrate all you want, moon the crowd, Use the goalposts, all that good stuff. I don't know, I'm for it. - What would your celebration be, Matt, If you scored a touchdown in the National Football League?

[44:00]What would your celebration style be? - I like the, I don't know Like Adam Thielen likes to copy everybody else's dance So I'd probably just try to copy everybody else's dance Like him, 'cause I think it's a pretty easy bet for not, For somebody who's not very, Who probably is not a very good dancer himself, I don't know. So I think stealing other people's bits is a good way. - I've always, and I've said it before, My sack dance would be me starting up a chainsaw And sawing through some logs. And so I tried doing it once after a big squat at a meet, And I can tell you, it is not camera ready. It does not look like a chainsaw, it looks like you're Just like going like this, like in a weird way. You need to really like show that you're starting The chainsaw and then move it through. That would be my dance. - The last thing I wanted to share about the game. So we were talking about fans you can't stand. I have a way to identify these fans Before you even start watching the game. There's one characteristic about fans that if you see this, You know you will dislike them.

[45:00]- Let me guess, I'm gonna guess too nice of a jersey. Like if the jersey is too nice, I, that's fine. That's always a bad sign. Like it's crisp. - Nope, I'm gonna go the other way. I'm gonna go the other way. They have a jersey from somebody who hasn't played On the team in 20 years. That's what I'm gonna go with. - What, a good Chris Walsh jersey? I mean, you can't go wrong with that stuff. - They got a jersey with their own name on it. - Oh, that's so fucking good, Aaron. Oh my God, that's so good. - It actually has nothing to do with the jersey or anything. This might just apply to people across the board. And I gotta watch it 'cause I feel like Rob may potentially Have this, but it's people that have any sort of bedazzled, Jean, back jean pocket. - Oh, there you go. - Any people that have designs on their back jean pocket, I can almost guarantee that I will not like them. - Or they wear a Flixion shirt. - If you can hear 'em sit down in a plastic seat, It sounds like they scrape when they sit down In a plastic seat. That's bad. - It's so strangely specific. - Can you imagine what it sounds like When you put those in the wash?

[46:00]I mean, it would be so loud. Like you'd be like, "Oh, I got some coins in there." No, no, no, those are my good Vikings jeans. - Yes. - They're totally bedazzled. So listen, here's the deal. - See how that system's working pretty good. - I teased it the other week. I've got a problem. Because my school has banned me from using the computer To do this podcast through stupid stuff, okay? Stupid rules. I've started not bringing my computer back and forth, Which means I don't bring my bag back and forth to work. But here's the problem. I ride a bike every day, so I've got a bike helmet. Now I teased this last week when you saw my notes And it just said helmet bag, question mark. I don't know what to do. Do I get a small bag for this helmet? Because I have to carry it with me on the subway. I have to walk around with it. One day, Friday night, I was walking around Until like eight at night carrying a bike helmet with me. Now my bike helmet looks cool. It's a 1000 bike helmet. It's got like the Le Mans cream and red and blue. But if you're walking around carrying a bike helmet,

[47:00]You look like a serious dork. So here's my question. Do I, A, A smaller backpack, put my helmet in that and carry it around? B, not care, just carry my helmet around? Or C, what I have been doing is when I'm on the subway, I've been attaching it to my belt buckles. I've been attaching it to my belt And having it hang off the side. Like I'm working on telephone poles somewhere. You know what I mean? - Is there an option to just wear the helmet all the time? - Oh my God. - Just wear the helmet on the subway. - You know what, I'm going to go get the helmet. You guys can see what I look like. - All right. - My initial impression is Rob should get One of those little... - Yeah see, just wear the helmet. - Just wear that on the subway. - Just wear it. - Yeah. - Like the string backpacks with the Beck did it better. There's white you pull it, The cinch on it in the back. I think that would be perfect. - That's what I do. But then the problem is, is I was wearing it And the guy at work there, he goes, "Wow, that's a really small backpack on you." Which is a huge fucking insult. - Oh, that's true. - It is a normal size backpack. - Well, Rob, it looks like you should be driving Herbie the Love Bug or whatever that movie was Back in the day with that white helmet.

[48:00]- I'm telling you, man, just wear the helmet. - I look like I should, my kids say, I look like I should be riding a horse somewhere. - Wait, what, aren't you carrying a fanny pack? You should be able to clip that to your fanny pack. - I don't have a fanny pack. - What? - The problem is with my fanny pack, The only thing I store in there are edibles If I'm going somewhere. So I can't just wear that. - Like, so you don't bring your computer back and forth? - No. - I mean, don't you have other stuff that you bring? - No. - Like, are you not like a... - No. - Like a charger and stuff and nothing else? - My computer doesn't work, I don't... No, I grade all of it. - All the papers I grade are online. I don't need it. So what do you guys think? Bag or do I just attach it to my belt So I can still play iPhone games on the train? - I kind of like attaching it to the belt, Walking around with it. - Yeah, definitely belt. - Okay. - If you're not going to just wear it, I mean, I still say wear it, but otherwise belt. - Why, yeah, why introduce another bag? Why bring another thing along? Why have another bag or something? If you're not going to use it, Just attach it to your belt. - All right, good. Well, now I know. The three coolest guys I know are telling me to do something. So I got to listen to them.

[49:00]I mean, that's... - Helmet bag, question mark? - Listen, there's some people Who've been on tenterhooks waiting for that. - Let's talk about the helmet. - It's true. - Tenterhooks. - Oh yeah. - I believe next week's episode Might have a reference to tenterhooks as well, Rob. - Ooh, excellent. - This is the difference between my life and Russell's life. Because Russell's like, "Today I went to the Vikings game And I did all this fun stuff." But I'm like, " where should I put this helmet When I'm walking around?" That's interesting. I made fun of Aaron for going to the library And I'm talking about the helmet. Listen, let's- - Library is awesome. - Let's talk about control. Control is 1986, and we have complained. We have complained on this podcast That the number one genre that is lacking from this list Is pop from the 1980s. And this one comes in And puts the absolute fucking hammer down on that. This is quintessential 80s pop To the point where you do not realize What a juggernaut this album is. And I've said that before, and I've always been right. Listen to this. This is- This is-

[50:00]Jackson, this is their third album, right? It's her first album to top the Billboard 200 album chart In the United States. She released five singles. All five went up to the top five on the Billboard 100. She's the first female artist to ever have top five From the one album. It was on the top 100 for 65 consecutive weeks And on the top 200 for two years. I mean, this album was huge. And basically, it's a huge shift in her life. She's getting away from her dad, who she's like, I'm going to quit this, I'm not going to have you work with me. I'm going to go find a new person. And this new person hooked her up with Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis out of Minneapolis. And basically at the same time, to rebel against her dad, She had married the singer, DeBarge. And do you know what- - Oh, DeBarge! - And she said that he was so immature That he was like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she was like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she was like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she was like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she was like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she was like, "I don't know what to do with you." - Oh, DeBarge! - And she said that he was so immature and using drugs

[51:00]And that she had never really liked him, But the marriage dissolved. And of course that affected her. You know what the reason was? - He was also from a musical family. Yeah, he was from- - Yeah, exactly. So very similar. You know what the reason was, Aaron, that they broke up? - I do not. - She said she couldn't get any sleep. You know why? There's too much at night, there's too much rhythm. - Yeah, DeBarge is one of the all-time great voices. I mean, this is one of the greatest voices, yeah. - That's a guy singing that, by the way. That blows my mind. - Yes! - The video, by the way, is awesome as well. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was When I downloaded, ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪ ♪ Oh Lord ♪ And it turns out that was not DeBarge. I was like, "Oh shoot, that sounds like a song That's by a guy named DeBarge." And so basically this whole album, Control, Nasty Boys, It's all about her breaking away From this whole thing. It was nominated for Best Album,

[52:00]And it won for Best Producer. So there we go. And like I said, recorded in Minneapolis. Let's get into the album with the first song. And Aaron, we've been doing this lately. The first song, guess what I'm bringing here? - Bring it to me. - And you know, a lot like the Super Bowl, It's a titular act here. - Oh! - Control. - Oh no! - Now this, Rob, This is not the first funk song of all time, But this is '80s funk done exactly perfect. This is on the one, this is funk. - I saw somebody describe this album as funk, pop, and disco, Like touches of disco. But basically before this, She had been a real kind of pop ingenue. - Right. - People saw this as a shift To more of the independent woman phase of Janet's life. ♪ I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T ♪ Do you know what that means? - I can't do it again. I already put that in one. - I have to do it every time. - I can't help it. - That song got all the way up to five on the charts. I thought that song was an absolute banger.

[53:00]I love that. - It's the Minneapolis sound, right? You just hear it. You hear everything that was going on. - Explain that to me, Aaron. What do you mean by that? - Well, to me, it sounds like Prince, right? 'Cause he, I don't know now actually enough About the relationship between Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, and Prince, But they were all recording around the same time In Minneapolis. And it's this funk, dance, driving rhythms, Shimmery pop, some guitars. Yeah, that's to me, the sound. - And if you really want to get a taste of this album, 'cause I'm gonna tell you, The first time you put on this album, It sounds dated, I think. I think it sounds like an album from the '80s. It sounds like '80s pop. I mean, do you know who played almost every instrument On this album and did the background singing? - Who's that? - It was Jimmy Jam and Terry. I mean, they did everything. There were no other. - Yeah, they did it all, right? - There were almost no other musicians on this whole thing. And what you need to do though, Is to watch the videos for this album. The control video is nine minutes long. And it starts out with Janet Jackson Literally getting in a fight with her dad. - Rob, any chance you could made it

[54:00]Through a nine minute Janet Jackson album? - This one, I could. I tell you, until you get to this last one. - No, no, no. We're not talking about the same thing. - Yeah, I have great control, okay? It's not 'cause of some weird blood flow thing, okay? Where maybe it takes too long And actually that's just as bad, if not worse. Especially in a long-term relationship, Sometimes you just don't. Anyway, listen, Russell. But the video is so good. When you watch the video, You realize Janet Jackson is insanely talented, man. - So real quick, I just am looking up Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. They all went to high school in Minneapolis. They didn't actually meet in class, But they all are from the Minneapolis area, okay? Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis had a band That ended up opening up for Prince When he was touring around. So they were on the local scene, toured around. Then they kind of got into the production side of things. And a couple of the other bands that they were in Other band members were pushing them As a producer for a few things, Kind of all eventually made it to where they were

[55:00]Both the band and the producers Of a couple of the local artists and the local bands. And so then it all kind of got mish-mashed into that. And then they just had a whole bunch of success And got Janet to come work with them. And then that kind of really put them Into a different stratosphere. - And they said that- - They were musicians before being producers. - And they said that they had to Stop Joe Jackson from sending people over To give advice and input. And like, the break from him was really, And like she's singing "Control." She's in control. I mean, she said, "I used to do what my father say And let my mother mold me, not anymore. Now I'm in control." Like it's, it's- - Yeah, there's no subtext there. She's telling that's like- - Yeah. - Putting it right out there. - And here's a joke I've been saving for a whole episode. And I think now is the time to drop it. Who would have guessed that Joe Jackson Is the second worst Jackson, Eric laughed a little bit he got a little laugh out of that all right russell there's no way i

[56:00]Could say it what i think about holding hands with you what i think about holding hands With you in a home depot i think that's nasty isn't andrew jackson pretty awful too i'm editing All this out jackson's we could get a pair of those work gloves before we do it right Excuse me where are your gloves we'd like to hold hands in public I think you're right The drum programming And the synths here Like put it exactly In the time period That it is But this is the best Of what was going on At the time Listen to what's Making the melody here They describe this On Wikipedia As a timpani melody And I was like Oh Oh you're right Very percussive I actually was reading That the songs This song And a few other songs In this album Were really touchstones For the New Jack Swing sound Oh there you go You guys know anything About New Jack Swing? A little bit Just from a song Where they sing I've only heard New Jack Swing Referred to In New Jack Swing songs Where they're talking About it So my understanding Is New Jack Swing Was kind of this Rhythmic subgenre

[57:00]Of R&B Where you have Production elements That are typically Found in hip hop So you've got Tempo and rhythm Which is the swing If you will You've got drum machines And you've got sampling And so this really Starts coming into play In the 80s And a lot of people say This Janet Jackson album Was kind of one of the Touchstones for New Jack Swing So I thought we could Maybe do a list Of the best New Jack Swing songs ever I love this Oh my god Is it New Jack Swing? There was like a lot Of backlash against New Jack Swing too But it's a great one And there's some great hits I'm excited to hear What we're talking about Don't you think Part of that backlash Though was like How they appeared Like it was such a different It was almost like Pre-boy band right? Like wearing the same outfits Kind of Almost a connection Between Motown And like New Kids on the Block God damn I'm smart Yes Rob you are smart So I was reading There was this guy Aaron I don't know If you know him His name's Teddy Riley He was from New York And he was a producer Of R&B And hip hop songs He was a teenager When he had his first hit It was Go See the Doctor By Cool Moe D Oh wow I don't know if you guys Remember that one or not Didn't he produce Blackstreet eventually too?

[58:00]Yes absolutely So after this hit He starts kind of Diving into this New Jack Swing sound And then Janet Jackson Hires Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis To produce her album So it kind of Starts building But a few years later The first song in the list Is from this guy Riley In 1980-74 In his own group Called Guy I don't know if you guys Remember this one But this is Groove Me From 1987 I don't know this one Oh yes Yeah Yeah So a lot of people Say like this is the song That really sets the groundwork For New Jack Swing It's got like that beat Funky bass Harmonized vocals The synths That's the sound What year was this Russell? Is this post? 1987 So this is one year Post Janet Jackson One year after There's no doubt That's a nasty boy Yeah they're using This is great God dang it And so you're right Aaron This guy Teddy Riley Formed a second group Blackstreet And he was also the guy Who helped formed Rex and Effect

[59:00]Rex and Effect This was one of the guys Who helped form that group He also actually went on I don't know if Rob's joke Stayed in or not But he went on to work With Michael Jackson On Dangerous Which is actually considered The best selling New Jack Swing album ever Dangerous Maybe the last New Jack Swing Right? That was like the very end Of New Jack Swing By the time Dangerous came out So moving forward A couple years here This is 1989 From Don't Be Cruel Bobby Brown My Prerogative Check this out By the way If you heard Russell mention My edited out joke You don't know What I'm talking about The joke wasn't that bad I know you're thinking It was like really bad It wasn't that bad So my understanding Bobby Brown Prerogative New edition He leaves new edition In 1985 To start a solo career He has a couple hits And then this one Really takes him off And so my understanding Is like My prerogative Is kind of him

[1:00:00]Taking on people Who ripped him For leaving new edition It's kind of like Similar to Control Right? Where he's like Hey I'm doing my own thing I'm gonna go out And like screw you people For giving me a hard time About it right? Yeah and that same thing Of like I was a child star But now I'm grown up It's like you know Britney Spears did it With Toxic right? It's that they gotta Like do their thing Where they're like Claiming their adulthood And their independence Can I ask you guys something? Do you see how My prerogative is spelled On this thing? Is that really how You spell prerogative? P-R-E-R-O-G-A-T-I-V-E Yeah I think it's P-R P-R? It's a word that starts With P-R-E-R I'm prerogative Prerogative Prerogative I mean I know you can be Pre-rogative And post-rogative But can you ever Just be Ogative? Rogative Or rogative? Well I think I dropped My rogative No that's mine Oh you're a long distance runner? Yeah I'm I'm pre Maybe you've heard of me

[1:01:00]That's my rogative I'm prerogative So Bobby Brown leaves New Edition And there were three Backup singers That were in New Edition That wanted to Kind of replicate What he had done before They ended up Forming a group called Bell Bib DeVoe This is Poison From 1990 Oh man Oh man Okay I mean it does sound like All these songs Have the same drum track right? Yes I think that's a big part Of that sound though Yes It's the same drum machine Aaron Yeah This is a song that If you put it on for your kids And you sing every word They look at you like You're from another planet They're like What is this shit That you're listening to? I'm like Oh I've heard this song A million times That and I like big butts And I cannot lie I really Now can I ask you Russell I know you've got Something with this But can I ask you I sang this song A million times I know all the lyrics At the end What does he say? ABC BBD Do you guys know What I'm talking about? ABD Bell Bib DeVoe Listen ABC BBD BBD is Bell Bib DeVoe

[1:02:00]Right? Yeah East Coast Family Is that Oh I missed it there Okay so what are they saying? ABC I think ABC is There's a There's another Hip hop group Or another Group kind of In this genre of music And then BBD is Bell Bib DeVoe ABC Yeah ABC was Another bad creation There you go Well Then they're all part of The East Coast family That's right Time to die That's the last thing I ever wanted to know In my life Goodbye And so those guys Were backup singers With New Edition Their names Bell, Bivens, and DeVoe And the person Who actually recommended They do an album together Was Jimmy Jam So Oh no way So Bell Bib DeVoe Also had Bobby Brown But his name Wasn't in the title Like No Because it was After the New Edition Before Bell Bib DeVoe Wait so was Bobby Brown And Bell Bib DeVoe What? He was in New Edition But that's And so was Bell Bib DeVoe Yes But then Bobby Brown Left to do a solo thing And they changed Their name to Bell Bib DeVoe

[1:03:00]Yeah The three remaining Backup singers Formed Bell Bib DeVoe Way better name Than New Edition Bell Bib DeVoe I bet they were just waiting They're like Bell Bib DeVoe Brown It's too much We gotta get rid of This fucking guy Get him out of here Rob you were talking About the lyrics I thought the lyrics You were gonna bring up Which is an all-timer Is never trust a big butt And a smile What are you guys Thoughts on that Trusting a big butt And a smile I've always known Not to do it I just know It's part of our DNA You can't trust it That's why my wife Never smiles at me And it's good But here's the thing How would you see Both at the same time You know what I mean Really a butt Is just a smile That's turned sideways If you think about it That's what my dad Always said Growing up Next song on the list We're gonna go 1990 But I figured We needed to get Beck should deserve A bigger laugh Ever trust a big butt With a disco ball Shining on it We got all these We gotta get some musicians From Oakland So the next one We're gonna get is From 1990 This is Tony Tony Feels good Oh yeah This one's on the radio All the time out here still

[1:04:00]Raphael Sidi Yeah When I found out Tony Tony Were guys Wait are they? That blows my mind That still blows my mind That blows my mind In 2022 They may not even have Anyone named Tony In the group I'm not sure I'm not sure No they don't I believe It's a reverse Belvedere DeVoe situation The guys who produced Tony Tony Also produced another group From Oakland Aaron We'll see if you remember them This group didn't make the list But you guys remember En Vogue Oh yeah Do I remember En Vogue En Vogue was another Oakland group That had some Never gonna give it Never gonna give it That's true That's true Yeah Raphael Sidiq Produced a lot Then he ended up Working with D'Angelo And he's done a bunch of hits I think I think I think I think En Vogue Literally taught me About racism With a song I think that's the first time I ever heard about racism Was through that En Vogue song Cause they said You wanna hear a song About racism Here you go So good Alright last song on the list For The best The best New Jack Swing songs

[1:05:00]This is 1991 We've talked about this band before But normally we talk about The super low voice guy Instead we're gonna talk About their first hit This is Motown Philly Boyz II Men From Cool High I just played this I just played this From the house the other day It still rocks It turns out These guys got their First big break They were backstage At a Bell Biv DeVoe concert And they sang For Michael Bivens One of the guys At Bell Biv DeVoe And that's what got them Signed for Motown Records Oh my god Can you imagine that Amazing You'd have to be so good Can you imagine How BBD They all had the same Jeans on And Bivens said Why do you guys All have the same jeans on And they said Well because we're a group And then they just Busted into this right Isn't that what goes Is that true No I don't think so I just picture them In these videos They had dressed all the same Can you imagine Can you imagine If that happened to us guys You know what I mean Like if we were We're at a If we were all In Dante Culpepper jerseys

[1:06:00]And we were backstage In white jeans Right And somebody goes What are you guys And we go We're a singing group Group Girl East Coast Your butt crack Is just a smile Turned sideways I don't know I love it When that disco ball Hits your sideways smile Girl I will not hold hands With you inside of it At Hope Depot So that's it Those are the greatest songs For the New Jack Swing Which are inspired By one of Janet Jackson's Greatest hits Honestly That was fantastic Honestly Again it's probably Because we were That you know Like just getting to music But like That's some good stuff there The New Jack sound All of it Yes Is good stuff The amount of times I watch people grind Those songs During middle school dances Was unbelievable Yeah Were you ever Were you ever the one Grinding Rob or not No I'd go to the bathroom Doing slow songs You know that I told

[1:07:00]I said that My girl was going to a To a middle school dance And my wife and I You can tell We had very different experiences Did I tell you guys this No I don't know She was like Well I'm going to middle school dance And I was like Listen During the slow songs You can just go to the bathroom It's not a big deal You get out of it It's fine It's easy And my wife is like Oh my god School dances are so much fun You're going to have a great time You can just dance With anyone you want It's no big deal And I was like Yeah Exactly Very different experiences Aaron and Matt What was your school dance style Were you out on the dance floor The whole time I've told you my school dance story Where my Where my date Got together with Her ex-boyfriend On the dance floor But yeah I was always on the dance floor I was always out there I was out there The entire time Yes The entire We used to get there I don't know It was like 830 Or 910 Every school dance The entire time Yeah We had a lot I didn't I was too nervous to dance I thought people were Like judging me And I was there In my silk shirt And like slick Because I would still Slick my hair back And then of course

[1:08:00]They would do that Classic Rob thing Where it would be Curly on the side still So I'd have slicked on the top Curly on the side So I looked just like a clown And in retrospect I should have just danced That's all I wanted to do Is dance the whole time I love to dance You know that Russell knows that He's seen me break a leg I've seen it I kind of want to I kind of want to listen To some new Jack Swing now By the way Great name We are It's Janet Jackson It's this new Jack Swing We have really A bad time for it You can hear actually That the new Jack Kind of bumped up The tempos a little bit Like this is a little More laid back Now that we Come back to this So this song What Have You Done For Me Lately Was a major MTV catalyst It's Janet Jackson Dancing in her apartment With a chair And it's one of the Sexiest things You'll ever see And guess what Guess who the Choreographer was I'll give you a hint Think about somebody Having sex With a cat Okay With an animated cat Yeah It's Paula Abdul That's very interesting

[1:09:00]Because all week When we were listening To this My wife kept saying This makes me think Of Paula Abdul Totally Who I would imagine Paula was probably Taking her sound From Janet But I did not know They'd work together Elsewhere You don't think Paula Abdul Influenced Janet Like Janet listened To Paula Abdul I was like wow I love this one song I think it was probably Janet first But no I gotta give Anna a shot For that one She just realized How powerful A cartoon cat is When we still talk About Paula Abdul She had like That one good song That's it Because of MC's Cat Right Were you watching No Were you watching The rest of the video You were watching The cat Well yeah Didn't she have Sex with the cat Isn't that what happened I don't No I don't know Let's pay attention To the cat They might have Just been dancing I thought they were Holding hands In a Home Depot Pause Is this another Mariah Carey Video Situation Where Rob's Recollection Of the video Is part of You guys know What we might Have to do Sometime Could be Sometime Not today Might have to Do another Four Three Two One Four Another Another Video Breakdown

[1:10:00]Long way to go It was worth it I did read that song Was about an annulment Yep An annulment Of her marriage I was wondering Rob if this is Where you were Going to talk About your Previous Annulments What does That mean An annulment Like is that Just like Where it's like Everybody's like Yeah this church This sucks We're out of here It never happened Like so you can Get married See you get married Again in the Catholic church But what's the Difference between That and like a Divorce like Is it just like Everybody says Yeah this is bad Or what Divorce isn't Allowed in the Some Christian Very interested In this topic Yeah No Things are going Fine I don't I don't know If you can get An annulment After 15 years Or wherever You're at Rob I think there's Going to be Need to be A divvying up Of assets Yeah that's what I'm talking about Divvy up that Asset You can be Mine This is a jam It is right Yeah This is a Badass keyboard Solo in the Middle of this One too Now you're

[1:11:00]Telling me that New kids on the Block didn't Take the right Stuff from this You gotta be kidding No it sounds Just like No absolutely It sounds just Like it right I mean Aaron Why would you Defend the new Kids on the Block and not Defend Janet Jackson I mean that's Crazy that you Would bring that Up I'm so confused You think the New kids on the Block are better Than Janet Jackson Aaron That's crazy What is happening Here Wow I can't believe That happened in Some parts that Were edited out Earlier and it Wasn't an offensive Joke Didn't that one New kid burn Down a building Or something What was the New kid that Got in legal Trouble back in The day It's probably Donnie Wahlberg Right I think Donnie has Again then he Showed up in The sixth sense As a trouble Former patient Of Bruce Willis Then he married What's her name Jenny McCartney McCarthy He did Oh Aaron Jenny McCarthy Don't you watch New Year's Eve He's at Every one And gets to Make out with Jenny McCarthy Donnie Wahlberg I mean can you Imagine making out With the real Jenny McCarthy And not her Maxim picture What do you mean What's the real What does that mean Like the real

[1:12:00]Rob's saying that He may have spent Some time He used to make Out with Maxim Magazines Yeah You guys remember Maxim Maxim was so great He was like Hey do you like Porno Okay you can Buy this And not feel Embarrassed He was always Like There are some Great articles Yeah it was always Like things Girls like About guys Girls like it When guys are messy We had a bad Experience with Maxim Yeah we had a bad Experience with Maxim Because we tried To watch all 50 Of the They did the 50 Greatest sex scenes Of all time Yeah And it included Movies like Angel Heart With Mickey Rourke And Lisa Bonet What were some Of the other Like oh like I think probably Fucking Jason's Lyric was in there Or something Just like Depressing movies Like hard to watch Movies except for The sex scenes But we Probably Plowed through We watched all of them But it was not pleasant Especially when you're Watching it with a Cartoon cat It's really awkward You take two steps Forward then you Eat my ass What? That's trying to

[1:13:00]Think of a rhyme We don't need to Do those again Rob Don't tell my wife She thinks it's A normal thing That you You should It has to be done Medically I could get Really hurt I've got blue ass Alright Rob's been thinking For three weeks About how he could Do more ass eating jokes No I'm done I could get Really hurt I know Russell Doesn't like it Alright And she's a doctor That's even funnier Because she's a doctor Now She's like looking Through medical journals All weekend Trying to figure out There's just There's no There's no science Behind it Rob I don't get it What How can you get hurt I have blue walls It happened You guys The worst I've often said that I will not have A hot for teacher On my Weight room Playlist When I work at school Right It's a disaster You can't go by See a teacher Working out to Hot for teacher But imagine If you were a principal And you're in your office And you're listening To some music On a Spotify station Or whatever And this is on Principal of pleasure

[1:14:00]Principal of pleasure If you're listening To the pressure principal In your office That would be a bummer Can't be doing that Has there ever been A wrestler Called the principal Of pleasure? Oh that'd be so good That would be a great Wrestling name This character Would be an erotic principal So good This is her only single To not hit top 10 Until her next one In 2001 From 86 to 2001 Every single she released To hit the top 10 Jeez I think that was The only one on the album That wasn't written by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis I mean it's crazy You can hear the difference This album is huge Now you hear the difference That's true Yeah It definitely is more Of a generic pop song Can I ask you guys a question? I know Matt brought this up On Michael Jackson albums before Is there any part of this That it felt too sterile to you? It's almost like too perfect Yeah Like it feels like It's made in a lab If you will

[1:15:00]Do you guys get that feel at all? Yes I do And I used to think That I was against that But then Beyonce came along And I'm all for it now But yeah I definitely know What you're saying there Russell For sure I think Yeah you're totally right Russell And it's also It speaks to the fact That it's only nine songs This was definitely A tightly controlled No pun intended Effort to make a hit album That was Just hits And super tight It kind of gets to my My final point Which is I don't know I don't really know How you choose between this And Rhythm Nation But I do think Rhythm Nation Has some more You know Some rougher edges And is possibly Kind of bloated But I think Yeah you're right Russell This sounds like It was just created Specifically to make Radio hits Pumped right into people's ears I mean if you would have said What's one of the biggest albums Of the 80s Would you have said Control by Janet Jackson I mean I'm starting to think This is like a Seminal album Of the 80s pop

[1:16:00]I mean it's already led To all this stuff We've already talked about But it's just huge It's like Selling wise I mean how it's set up How it sounds It's just like It sets the tone For a lot of it When I think of you This is Janet Jackson's First number one hit Yeah Yeah a little more space In this one A little more minimalist Yeah And a little bit more Probably what they expected Out of a pop song At the time right Like yeah This feels very radio Friendly Damn she can sing though Looks like Control Was the 60th Best selling album Of the 80s Boy Yeah Yeah Yeah You gotta wonder If she was white If that would be like More like 6th Two steps in front of Madonna Madonna's self-titled album From 83 Was just below it In terms of sales Oh that's interesting Yeah I wonder if it's just Too in front of its time

[1:17:00]The whole front half of this Is all that new Jack Swing stuff Now that I've heard I've learned about that I'm actually pretty smart in it Rhythm Nation was a higher Selling one Rhythm Nation sold Was in the 40s So Rhythm Nation Was a better seller Yeah Rhythm Nation Has some massive hits He doesn't know I'm alive This is me In a middle school dance Right here I love her voice on this You guys One thing I have A surprise to share With you guys As you guys know We try to pair cocktails On this Quest of ours And a while back I got a text From a listener And they told me There's a new book out It's called Booze and Vinyl 2 The authors of Booze and Vinyl Have put out a new book That has 70 New albums With new cocktails And everything And Janet Jackson's In the book Oh But I thought I could Share a quote At the beginning of the book That I thought you guys Would enjoy Is it a baby Guinness? Because that's not Going to be very many Songs Sorry I've got to Go use the bathroom

[1:18:00]I'll come back and tell you There's a quote at the end From someone named John Peel It says Somebody was trying To tell me that CDs are better than vinyl Because they don't have Any surface noise I said listen mate Life has surface noise Oh that's beautiful There you go Love it So this one Control by Janet Jackson Is in Booze and Vinyl 2 They say you should Drop the needle Come up Or queue up some Janet Jackson videos And serve extra large drinks To anyone who Masters her moves And on side B They recommend A rendezvous Have you ever had A rendezvous before? No Now does it have Ron Diaz rum in it? God I hope so It does not It has two ounces Of gin Three quarters ounce Maraschino Liquor And three quarters ounce Of fresh lime juice So that's a rendezvous Not much more Than a baby Guinness Although That was a little bit healthier That almost sounds Like a health drink to me

[1:19:00]Russell Like Do you feel healthier? Well yeah I'm gonna get scurvy With all that lime juice In there So that's good I'm gonna keep The rickets away The rickets? Yeah you can take that On a cruise around the world No problem What they suggested On side A Just in case anyone's looking Was a cognac and coke Does that sound good To you guys? That sounds great Absolutely not In the same glass? Booze and Vinyl 2 Go check it out People will like it The sequel Part 2 So are you You're really drinking that drink? Let me see that Russell Let me see that drink again God that looks good It's like Fire engine red It's like so bright It's very red Well I might have I might have overdone The maraschino liqueur No such thing No such thing Russell you had All those ingredients Come on now

[1:20:00]Yeah Well I I subbed out My maraschino liqueur With just Cherry juice From the The bottle Oh I mean That's pretty good Okay Russell Now be honest Be honest with me You had lime juice? I had a lime juice I had a lime I had a regular lime Yes I was hoping You'd use 7-Up again Now the song That Russell Could most relate to Let's wait a while I love this song I I just love Them soft keys You do like this one Yes I love it It's so cheesy It's the worst I know I can't get enough of it I love it The co-writer's Experience with abstinence And it's like Hey Janet Can you sing this? Not knowing The rest of the album Was like Made you want to Bang big time As any relationship That was built on the premise Of waiting a while Ever worked out The answer is no Right? Yeah no you're right Yeah like Mine's been Gaining weight after a while But that's a different As my lady pointed out This is definitely Not a fuckfest song

[1:21:00]This one is not One you'd play At a fuckfest We should ask We should ask Magic Mike 69 If he could like See if he could work it in See if he could somehow Figure it out Cause I'm If anybody can Magic Mike 69 Can figure it out It's just like The most disciplined Fuckfest in the history Of the world Like everyone is just like Sitting around staring at Apple watches Yep Wait till it's time It would be me At the fuckfest you know Where everybody would be like Oh let's have some drinks And have some appetizers And I'd be like No that's not how this works We need to Take our time Let's wait a while Everybody's definitely Looking in each other's eyes When they're listening To that one I'd be like Have you guys ever seen Someone beat ball bull On Mike Tyson's Punch out on Nintendo I honestly think That if I was If you were at a fuckfest And you were sitting next to me I think you would just Turn to me and be like Let's wait a while Just hope

[1:22:00]You'd be like Hey let's wait And you're just hopeful You're like okay How long is a while There's a good chance This guy needs to go Use the bathroom Before this thing starts So I'm going to try to Yeah It's a reverse of the It's a reverse of the Middle school dance Right The fuckfest is a reverse Of the middle school dance Middle school dance I'm going to the bathroom The fuckfest The person sitting next to me Is going to the bathroom Trying to get out of there God my life is terrible Funny how time flies When you're having fun Now this Is so much Of the Janet Jackson That I'm used to Yeah From like 90s Janet Where she's like Oh yeah You guys want to Bang them And check this song out Right I mean this is like Future Janet right Like this is Yeah That voice And don't forget Russell You think I'm not going To mention the album cover Where somebody's Holding their boobs It's all I can think about When I think about

[1:23:00]Janet Jackson I've already done A Super Bowl joke A lot of my life Is actually Janet Jackson Boobs related Wasn't that her husband At the time Wasn't it Renee Elizondo Who was holding onto him I thought that was A Rolling Stone cover Was that an album cover I don't know I had it Pasted into a Maxim magazine I put it Made my own Maxim One of the things In Aaron's mind Is he knows Who was holding onto Janet Jackson's breasts During the album cover That's like Part of what takes up Your wattage There Yeah Not a lot of wattage But I know that one I need system Andrew Elizondo Wasn't he like The nerd In the Cosby show Was that Alvin You guys know What I'm talking about Alvin What are you talking about What Yeah Revenge of the nerd He was married To the oldest daughter Lisa Bonet Nope She was Second By the way Who At some point Was dating Lenny Kravitz Married to him

[1:24:00]And I want to remind you again There's that video Of Lenny Kravitz Jumping up And doing the splits And another guy With an absolutely Massive cock I mean it's so big It's snaked out of his pants You gotta look up this video You know what We're gonna watch it After this episode There's so much Dong wattage In Rob's brain Hey listen When I brought up Liam Neeson Peeing his pants And the pee being Way down low I had multiple listeners Text me pictures Of Liam Neeson With pissed pants And how many of them Have you not seen before You've seen them all before I had seen them all Pissed pants Pissed pants Look at that I have a very Specific set of skills I have a very There's so many I mean there's so many Where there's multiple Look at this This was just a collage Of all the time He pissed his pants Hey it feels good Listen let's get into The rating system Okay we are talking About album 111 Okay We are getting there Aaron We are slowly

[1:25:00]Climbing our way Through the list If peeing your pants Is cool Consider me Liam Neeson Look at that picture On the corner I mean just That's funny So many Pictures And I mean Don't talk about The party I went to In college Where they had The black light It just was like Oh no I don't do laundry In college Anyway Do you think like After the first 18 pictures Of this happening He didn't say like Well maybe I should Get some different Colored pants Or something that Will cover this up A little better Or is he aware Does he google this And like try to get Google to take Them all down Or not If it's anything Like me I google my name In piss pants Almost every day Just to make sure Nothing's out there And we all We all know That I do have An issue with that Liam Neeson Evian I want to look up One thing And I'll be back With you guys For one second Yeah So Janice Dickinson In her autobiography Said that Liam Neeson's Cock looked like An Evian bottle What? Neeson hung Like Evian

[1:26:00]That is That is in text Do you know Anybody who knows More about celebrity Penises than I do No No No Colors Shapes Size Everything No I really Don't You're the number One Celebrity Penis After the song We're going to watch This Lenny Kravitz Penis video Different podcast Rob Start your own Separate Celebrity Penis Podcast Don't take that Idea And think about it Dong rhymes With theme song It writes itself I mean It's so good Listen But this is What this is This is the rating System Okay We were talking About Janet Jackson Control At 111 Okay If you think This album Is perfect At 111 Okay That is a rolling Well toned If you think This album Is nasty Oh Nasty boys Ooh You nasty boys Okay That's a nasty thing To say That you don't think It should be at 111 It should be farther back This is a rolling Groan

[1:27:00]And I'm going to edit that So it sounds like It was right I found it right away Okay That is if you're a nasty boy If you think This album Should have been higher up Listen It's a seminal album Of the 80s So much of what I listened to Sounded like this album Growing up It's crazy How influential Janet Jackson Jimmy Jam The Minneapolis sound That was huge in pop This should be higher up On the list That would be a rolling Bone It should have been higher up We should have heard this already Before Tonight At 111 Okay Now we are running long guys So please don't waste any time Let me know what you think Of this album Janet Jackson Control At 111 Russell What do you think? I enjoyed the album For me I I almost would rather Just have a handful of songs On a playlist for me Like I was saying For me Some of it's like too pristine Like it's created in a lab It's just almost too perfect And a lot of the songs In the first half Felt kind of repetitive to me And then Where I was looking For something different

[1:28:00]You had these songs At the end Where there were these Really slow ballads Which weren't Really my favorite But some of the songs Are absolute jams I love how it was Kind of a pioneer For the New Jack Swing song It was We We heard on a couple Of the songs So for me I'm going to say It's Rolling Well-Toned Aaron Rolling Well-Toned Rolling Boned Or Rolling Grown Janet Jackson Control I Think Janet Jackson At this Point in the list Is Well-Toned But I'm going to Steal Rob's bit And I'm going to Say I have some Rolling Confusion Because I don't Confusion? I don't know how You could choose Between this And Rhythm Nation Because Rhythm Nation Has Rhythm Nation All Right Escapade Miss You Much Absolute Bangers So I don't know How you could choose Between this one And Rhythm Nation It's a toss up For me So I'm going to Call it Rolling Well-Toned Because one of those Albums should be Right here where it's at Matt What do you think Of Rolling Well-Toned Rolling Boned Or Rolling Grown Or Rolling Confusion And don't look What I was looking At on the screen I think it's

[1:29:00]Rolling Boned I think this whole list The ones that we've Heard before it Everything you can Kind of figure out The tree Of the Music that comes After it You know Kind of starts With some of this stuff And I think you hear So much of what Comes later And even that very Last song right I mean that's like 90s baby making R&B right there That you just Hadn't really heard Before I don't think That's the problem You know what I always Music We always talk about Music make love to Try making love To New Jack Swing It's almost impossible You fly right off the bed I mean I really Want you to think About this I mean Think about Your like You're gonna make Sweet Sweet love To your wife Right Or whoever No no wait a minute Now I am picturing I think it could work I'm picturing All three of you And I like it a lot Technically The guy who wrote Bell Biv Devoe Poison Was this guy named Elliot Strait Known as Dr. Freeze

[1:30:00]And he also wrote I wanna sex you up So actually Rob I think Wow New Jack Swing Is good for baby Making music I never figured out What that song was about But It was pretty sexy He's gonna That's when you go to the bathroom At the school dance Right? So long answer Short I think it's Rolling Bones Should be higher in the list Just from how influential And you know Rosie brings up a good point Rhythm Nation Could be the same one But the fact that we've Are now getting To 80s Pop You know Icons Is Overdue Kinda nuts to me Yeah Overdue So from Maybe from a concept Rolling Bones Album You know To Rosie's You could You could switch it off With Rhythm Nation But From a concept Rolling Bones Listen You guys are incorrect Unfortunately Although you were pretty close Actually Some of yours This is a Rolling Miss Jackson Janet It's Nasty Jackson This Guys This is a pop album That basically Was the pop of our youth And led to the pop That we heard Growing up If you listen to

[1:31:00]How many times Britney Spears Refers to This album Talking about Nasty boys Talking about There's so many things Where she'll stop The music stops Like This was a Giant album That was Paved the road For pop music For years to come And it deserves To be Don't know what I was Going to finish That sentence Listen Next up We've got an album That might be The absolute opposite Of this album That you could possibly get Okay It answers the question Is Jamaican Jerk Off The worst song ever And the answer is Yes We have Elton John With Goodbye When you want to hear About the greatest Albums of all time But you're just Too busy To look it up Online If you want to hear Four guys who chat And then they get off I think I need to get A new mic Before that next episode I'm going to get A new mic Yes I've got the perfect Podcast for you Jack Beck did it better Okay now I don't know if you guys Noticed how seamlessly I went on Bing

[1:32:00]And turned off The safe search Okay just like It was like Second nature to me But watch this I had to go on Kind of a weird site To find this Bloody Kravitz Right here he is Did you see it? Whoa Did you see it? And he covered it up Right where this video Slows down and zooms in For us So look at this Boom Yeah there it is And then he covers it up Right Wait how many of these Sam are there? Yeah that's a much Better legacy I do definitely Do not have a legacy Of my pants splitting open And my Whatever Rob calls it You know what Zad is I've done that so many times Split my pants open Just so many At work sitting on a stool And then I'm just Sitting on the stool For the rest of the day Ah class No need to walk around Or do anything Bye see you later Sorry Russ Wouldn't you just have Another pair of pants Just sitting in the Sitting in a drawer Yeah and guess what They still rip Okay or maybe you ride A bike to work every day

[1:33:00]And you get on the bike And your pants rip And then you're A big problem Because you're walking Into work with ripped pants And where do you put the helmet? Over the rip Sounds like you need A new bag To carry an extra pair of pants With it Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Thank you.