Cream: Disraeli Gears (1967)

[00:00]I am recording on my Shure microphone, but I paid a lot of money for it. I'm not certain it's better than my other one, but it is a cool stand. I think it's better. I can tell you it's better. Rob's right. I think it sounds way better. But it's also, if anyone ever comes over to this house I'm living in now, it's like the most embarrassing part of my house. Like if you walk in there and I've got a microphone stand downstairs. 100%. Russell, come on.

[00:30]Do you have a podcast? No, I talk to girls online. You know what I mean? You're like, I talk to girls online and they help me jack off. I don't have a podcast. God, that'd be so embarrassing. With both hands. They care a lot about audio fidelity. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I have a nice mic. I have a nice mic. I have a mic stand because I like to use both hands. To all the moms out there who are just listening straight through, I'm sorry about that. Okay. But moms, this isn't for you. Turn off the dial. Okay. This is a no mom episode. Guys, no moms allowed on this episode. No moms. Rob, also.

[01:00]For all those moms out there, we've heard a lot of complaints about you kicking your spouses out of the house for mom's happy hour tonight. No. We cannot talk about that. I was just going to say. No. We cannot talk about that. All right. Here we go. It's not the... See, because it's all in the details. I'm happy to leave for mom's happy hour. All of the stuff that Aaron was saying beforehand, we probably shouldn't have any moms listening because it probably is not going to be a good one for mom's happy hour. I mean, for Aaron to call it a crappy hour, I don't even think that's that creative for one thing. It's not it.

[01:32]It's all... I'm happy... The crappy hour? Crappy hour. Which one of her friends did you have on the list that if Rosie's wife at gmail.com... Oh, yes. Who are we talking about? Which one? What was her name? It started with an S. It started with an S. You told us off air one time. I can't remember what it was. You said which one would take over. It would be a great fill-in mom, boy. Which list are we talking about? Who knows? Aaron, your head... Now, when's the last time you shaved your head, Aaron? Your head is gleaming today. It's almost distracting. It is, I guess. Yeah. It's... Uh... It's been...

[02:01]I should have the mat finished. I mean, the thing is, though, the... Ooh. Yeah. There should be... Speaking of my online setup, you guys mute yourself. I'm going to go for the mat finish. Hey, moms, take a hike. In 2020... Actually, you know what, moms? Come on in. Come back. Okay, we love it. Okay, here's the deal, moms. If you like that mat finish joke, this podcast is actually perfect for you. Okay? You'll love this podcast. No, it was... The whole thing is, Wallace played video games... He played video games the whole time, so he was super happy.

[02:31]That was fine. And if the kids are happy, you know, as a dad, you don't fuck with that. There just wasn't enough food. And I know if you... And you guys know me, if I'm hungry, I'm going to be cranky. So I'm over it now. I'm good. I had a little musker pony when I got home. I'm fine. So the worst part about this is Aaron didn't have enough food. Not that his kid was unhappy or anything. Like, Aaron got there, and they didn't have enough food. Exactly. The kids ate. There was pizza for the kids. Like, there was... The kids ate. It's just, if there had been two pizzas, it would have been fine. But there was only one pizza, so then you have to make sure your kids eat. Who orders one pizza for a group of that big?

[03:02]Well, that was the thing. No one ordered. That's the thing. It was like, oh, no one ordered. If you have more than two people, you order more than one pizza. Yeah. Well, no one ordered. It was like... Aaron, I hate to say it, but the husbands are morons, okay? That is not your fault. The husbands are morons. I do like the idea, though, that Aaron's, like, banging his fist on the table, and his son's like, Dad, stop throwing the... Stop it right now. But it's my kid's fault, because the other dad wanted to go out, and then my kid was like, I hate going to that place. And so then we ended up... Oh, no. Is this the brewery with the video games? Yeah.

[03:30]No, different brewery. It's a whole thing. You know what? He's like, I want to go to the pumpkin patch. Yeah. It does sound like a tough night, but all the other things you were telling us about home life tonight, I could see why the other one was definitely the crappy hour, right? All right. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone Magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy.

[04:01]Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 170. Guys, we're cracking a new 10. I want to say decimal. That's not right. Cracking a new 10. I don't know. It'll only be three months until we're out of the 70s. The 170s. You know what, man? What the fuck is your problem? Okay? That is so rude to say to us right now. When you know we're vulnerable. We're thinking about our lives. I didn't have enough dinner, man.

[04:30]I'm in a vulnerable spot. Oh, no. Aaron's a cranky Aaron. This is so sad. Aaron's a cranky Aaron. Aaron, if you've got to go get somebody, get up and we won't make fun of you when you're gone. Yeah. And from 1967, we have Cream. Uh-oh. That makes Aaron hungry, I bet. With Disraeli Gears. And, you know, this is funny because I've always been a big Clapton fan, but this was before he wrote one of the funniest songs of all time. Tears in Heaven. I mean, guys, the angels would be falling out. All over the place. That song is hilarious. When I saw him do that song live, I laughed my ass off.

[05:02]All right. Let's turn on the radio. Maybe we can hear some Tears in Heaven right now. No, you're not. Okay. I could come up with one real fast. Okay. Would you say, Matt? All right. Welcome to KROB. K-R-O-B. Turns out Aaron is the dirtiest one on the show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Aaron said the C word that he tried to deny.

[05:31]Wait, this song's not even on the album. When Matt's mother-in-law said he did it, Aaron said she told a lie. But when we listened back, turned out she was totally right. I have an ex-aunt-in-law who referred to it as the old f***ing mom. I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was saying.

[06:01]I didn't know what I was saying. The old f***ing mom. The old f***ing mom. It's a long introduction. When we were done recording, I heard Aaron sigh. Then he started talking. He said, I'll tell you guys. A little secret about me. I say c*** all of the time. Oh, jeez.

[06:31]No. No. No, no. What? Oh, I'm doing a new thing where I'm trying to make this song sound like the album. So I'm putting this into a psychedelic thing. But I realize now I don't really like it. It sounds more like next week's. Wow. Yeah, that's true. Well, makes me think. Listen. Just save it for next week. This is way too distracting. I cannot talk to you guys over this. What we got going on here.

[07:00]The old f***ing mom. Oh, Aaron. One more time. Did you guys listen to that episode? Aaron was all apologetic. And then when he found out we bleeped it, he was like, we bleeped it. We bleeped it. He went on and on about how it was bleeped, so it shouldn't count. It was hilarious. It wasn't a pick. It was a scratch. It was a bleep. I did not listen to that episode. Listen, I've got four guys here. Okay. Who are excited to talk about the only Eric Clapton album on this entire list. There is no other.

[07:30]So hence, I had to play Crossroads, one of the greatest songs of all time. I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good, Rob. You know, for all those people that are in your little gambling pool that you've got. What? You know, if you lose all your money in gambling and Rob's Ponzi scheme, great God, don't lose your mind as well. Oh, that's great advice. Great advice. That makes me think. And, you know, it's really worth it, though, all the time I put in it. I really feel. I got Russell. You know, it's worth it for us. To be fair, it's worth it to us. Yeah, I bet. You know, but it is the big thing where somebody all of a sudden says like, Rob, did you get

[08:04]me? Did you pay out from last week? Did you pay out? No, I'm too busy. And I just put it like, you can, you know, that you paid $20 in, that $4.13 you're going to get back. You can wait. Yeah. You can wait a couple of weeks. Let Rob just cool off a little bit. I figure if I go bad enough, the government will just bail me out. So my favorite thing about the Rob gambling thing. Text chain. And I don't participate in most of them because I can't keep up with what I'm betting on. I need to know what I'm betting on.

[08:30]But my favorite thing is Rob will go into the lab, quote unquote, where he starts coming up with bets. But about every two to three nights, he's like, guys, I'm too busy tonight. I can't go into the lab. No bets. And then it's like literally not even four minutes later. And he goes, no. All right. Never mind, guys. I think he's waiting for someone to beg him to do it. And if they don't, he's like, oh, all right, I can make it happen. I always wait. And I just say, well, how about just like. Two bets, Rob, just like one over one, just like two. And then he gets going to like 16.

[09:00]If you saw where I was, too, when I'm placing these bets, I'm like outside a subway station, like on a bench. Everybody's walking by. I think I'm a crazy person. I'm like trying to find like, oh, what Kevin? What's Kevin Durant's assist plus points plus rebounds total? Like I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, if you come over to my place for the holidays, I'll make you an espresso martini strange brew that will kill what's inside of you. Oh, wow. Strange brew. Matt, Russell, listen to that last episode where you were just drinking those martinis.

[09:31]And in the beginning, you're like, hey, guys, I'm pumped up. I got two martinis. This is going to be great. And by the end, you're like, guys, these martinis, they're too much. I can't take it. The foam is down. I also like I also like how you're like, hey, can you imagine somebody not making the right foam on your martini? Would you break up with them? And we're like, we're like, yeah, actually, at this point, maybe I would. That might be the right. Yeah. Aaron's like, yeah, Aaron gave a big nod to that after crappy. Listen, I've got Aaron in California. Aaron has just told me he is excited for the new Dune movie that's going to be coming out.

[10:01]Dune 2. You know, I am. It's a move on deep time. Dune 2 chicks at once. It's never been a part of my life. Rob, I've been waiting so long to be where I'm going. Did you say that's a different part of your life? Of your love. Like that's never been part of my life. It's never been. I don't know. It's not like that was a different part of your life. You're going to run that back and catch the bleeps. Yeah. Aaron's at a party with dads. He doesn't know. Well, his kid's having a meltdown and he's totally hungry. And he's like, God, I wish I was part of that.

[10:30]Back to the part of that life where I was doing two chicks at once. That was better than this. All right. Rob, I don't know if that many women are into this podcast, but the type that Aaron are doing two at once are, or what's the line? Yeah. Yeah. Double up on a guy like me. That's the line. Oh, it's so good. What would be the level where you would stoop to like to have like two chicks at the same time? Like, like if you had your any, any level, goodbye, I'll never talk to any of you again.

[11:04]Like, like if I introduced you to two ladies from the senior, that's all we'll take Rob to get rid of this podcast. 100%. Would 500 bucks cover that in Vegas? You think thousand bucks? How much do I got to bring? I want one of them to hold the camera and one of them hold the lights on me. That's my, that's my threesome. Okay. Meanwhile, you're looking deep into my asshole. All right. Let's get onto the voicemail. You guys are making me do this.

[11:31]You're making me, you're, you're baiting me into jokes. There's no moms listening. It's okay. Rob, talk about crappy. It's just Joe and Brian from Woodbury. That's it. How was that threesome? Oh yeah. Check my Instagram. I just called to say. So stupid. I got to kiss my ass. God, our listeners are dumb shits. They're just the dumbest of the dumb. God, our listeners are dumb shits. This was the dumbest of the dumb. This is very out of your shit listeners.

[12:01]Listeners. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb shit listeners. Dumb shit. We've seen some, we've seen some very worrying court cases lately where we're having to rethink how we treat our fans. Yes. Hi, big fan here. First time call a long time listener. I need to go to Russell's advice corner for a little advice. I need to go to Russell's advice corner for a little advice. I found a woman online that I do adore. How do I get her to notice me?

[12:30]Do I write a special note in the bathroom about how nice her tits are? Do I message her online looking for advice? Please let me know. I seem to not be able to get a response from this hot woman. Signing off, your friend, the Lifting Lutheran. Oh, the Lifting Lutheran. I forgot about that guy. So let me explain. Yeah, I mean, why?

[13:00]First of all, let me, let me explain one thing. When I worked at a school and Jenny taught with me, my wife, she taught with me. The kids once did write about her on the bathroom wall. Okay. Which was, I cannot tell you for kids to write about your wife on the bathroom stall. You feel like the coolest guy in the whole fucking school. You feel so cool. It's like I went out and threw the winning touchdown. I mean, I just felt like the coolest guy because it said, we'll just call her Miss Stud.

[13:30]It says, Miss Stud has nice tits and I want to hold them. Oh. And I was like, you know what? I get this guy. I feel like this guy and I would have been friends in high school. Because my wife does have nice tits and I do want to hold them. You know what I mean? Like I, to me, I think that's so, I mean, of all the things you could find written about you, in the bathroom, that's got to be one of the more respectful things. What's, you guys ever seen some good bathroom graffiti? That was also the bathroom, by the way, that said, why are you, why are you looking for a joke?

[14:02]The joke is in your pants. And that one hurt. That one actually hit close to home. I think I learned about memes from bathroom graffiti. I remember the first time I saw, there was that, that bathroom graffiti that said Toy Story 2 was okay. And like, I saw that and I thought like, this is so clever. And like, I sent it a picture to my brother and he was like, yeah, I see that around here too. And I was like, oh, this is a meme. It's everywhere. And I thought it was like one clever person. Why? What? Toy Story 2. Now, let me ask you this, Aaron. In the okay, was there a hole cut out? Because I think that was not, I think that was something that was not a meme. You were somewhere else.

[14:31]What's the best bathroom graffiti you guys have seen? I was going to say, Aaron, the real bullshit move by your brother is not just like giving you a ha, that's funny. He's got to be like, yeah, you're like, I've seen it. Who does that? Just play along, right? It's a, it's a brother move for sure. Yeah, right. I've seen it. I don't want to be. I don't know if there's any like good bathroom graffiti, but like everywhere you go, there's just pictures of penises, right? People just draw penises on the walls and it's like, what's the point?

[15:00]I mean, inside of a stall, but it's kind of funny after a while. I think the penis is the evolution of the Stussy S, right? Like when you're younger, you're drawing the S everywhere. Like, you know, that S, whatever, not the Stussy S, but like the S. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? With the three lines and then the three more lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. S graffiti. I'll look it up. Cause I'm seeing like this one right here, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like this. This S, I think everybody learns how to draw. And then when you get older, you're like, guess what? I can take this, kind of pull part of the S out, make the other part bigger.

[15:30]Put some hair on there, maybe some veins. Boom. You have a perfectly drawn penis. I mean, do you guys have a way right now? If I asked you to draw a penis, would you, do you have a style that you'd like to go with? I don't know that I've ever drawn one before. I don't know if I've ever drawn one before. If I drew a penis, yeah. All right. So moving on, learning some more stuff about myself. Kind of flashing back to a week ago when we talked about my candy rant. I'm having that. Yeah. I'm feeling right now. There has been a funny penis joke online or whatever, where somebody drew a big penis

[16:01]on a elevator door so that when the door opens, there's nothing. But then as it shuts, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. That's pretty funny. That is good. So I should say this, the Lifting Lutheran. So this. What was the question? There's no question. This is somebody calling who knows that there is, I, it turns out. There's being a woman on Instagram must be almost impossible because my wife now, if she posts anything, there are a number of lifters, all of them over the age of 53 and

[16:34]they will message her about her squats. They'll send her videos of their squats and, and they just want to talk to her all the time. Nobody messages me. Nobody wants to talk to me about squats. Hmm. I wonder what the difference is. It's, it's this. So there's this old guy who's basically cyber stalking my wife. Oh, and I'm, and I'm kind of like. I think this is as close as I'm going to get to one of my fantasies. So I'm into it. You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean?

[17:00]I'm kind of like, well, I kind of like watching this part happen. I don't know. What does she think about this stalker dude? Does she, she, she does know that she'll just talk to her. She'll talk to him. I don't be like, you need to stop replying to him. He will not stop. If you don't stop replying, he is desperate for attention. She's like, Oh, I never thought of that. I was like, yeah, why would you reply? Do you feel that she doesn't, maybe doesn't read social cues? Is that? Do you think that's what's going on? Yeah. Or he wants to jack off to my wife. She has nice tits and I want to hold them.

[17:30]I know where you're going there. I know where you're going there. Rob, how does it work out when you tell her not to do something? Oh yeah. Oh, it goes really well. Oh, thank you. That's so helpful. So here's the deal. I, what, what, what do you order? You guys check messages in because if somebody Instagram messages me, I'm not seeing it. Somebody leaves me a voicemail. I'm not seeing it. Email. I'll get to it eventually. Work email. Unfortunately, I'll see it pretty quick. And my text messages, the best way to get ahold of me.

[18:00]What's our message order guys. I'm ecstatic when I get a text from like, I got a text from like the furnace people, like they had to reschedule an appointment. And I was so happy. Like I can just text them to reschedule the appointment. It was fantastic. I don't have to call. It was, I was so excited. Like I just want, I want everything to be in text message. Turns out the city of Richfield, not only do they make you inspect the first furnace and then, and when they, when no one will pass it and they red tag it, and then you have to pay for a new furnace. You buy and have a new furnace installed from one of the Richfield approved

[18:32]contractors. They come out, install it. The inspector comes back out today. Has it been inspected? What the fuck do I need to have it inspected for? And they just put the goddamn thing in the house. Why does it need to be inspected? It was put in yesterday. What, what are we doing here? So stupid. How do you know that they put it in? Right. And then who decides who decides that it was put in? Why is it so cold in here all the time when the furnace is on?

[19:01]I don't know. Watches the watchman. I don't know. Margo. If there's a, if there's a Richfield employee podcast that's complaining about local citizens, I w I would be their subject today. Oh, I love that idea. I love that idea of like, Hey, let's complain about people in your city. I'd listen every week to see like who they're talking about. And they're talking about me. I think that's a great idea. Russell bunch of bullshit.

[19:30]Now, listen, before we start rolling, I just want to, here's a question. Oh, they're going to bring up, Hey, you've got some, a few little pieces of damage on your siding. I have to replace all the siding. They want a permit for the siding. Who gives a shit about permanent garage siding? What does like, what could you do wrong that would cause a problem with garage siding? Nothing. Russell, have you ever thought about how the inspectors feel? Yeah.

[20:00]Okay. Yes. I did wish her happy Thanksgiving after I expressed my, my disappointment. Oh, well, that's fine. They're probably raging at you about your garage. It probably makes them furious. Hey, can I, can I just say this? Did you guys hear a big music news? I want to interrupt our rolling going big music news. Have you heard the new Beatles song that came out? The Peter Jackson video where he put the, the old Beatles, the Beatles with the new Beatles and he made a song. Did you guys hear it? No, I knew it was out, but I have not listened to it. Do you guys know what I'm talking about at all?

[20:31]I do. No. Why don't you tell us about it, Rob? Are you serious? Well, they basically, they, they got some old tracks of John Lennon and George Harrison and Paul McCartney and they wrote a song and made a video with AI. Okay. Now my keyboard sounds like a terrible idea. My keyboard is not working right now, but can I play the, can I play the song for you and see what you think? Yeah, I'd love to hear it. All right, let's listen. We're going to listen to it right now. Good start. Seems familiar. Aaron looks at you,

[21:05]but not at your face. Aaron likes the things that help you stand. He's obsessed with the things that are your base. Because Aaron is a foot fetish man. Show your soul. Show your soul. Show your toes. He wants to see them all. Peter, what turned Aaron on? Show your soul.

[21:30]Show your toes. He wants to see it all. Peter, what turned Aaron on? You know what? I kind of like it. It's so weird. Peter Jackson's pretty skilled. How did we get here? I didn't know the Beatles were writing about me. That's really, I honored? Question mark? So I was going to say, I think the thing was they could never isolate John's voice track. Until AI figured it out or whatever. So they could never properly convert it to whatever they needed to convert it to.

[22:00]And now they can finally isolate just John's voice track without the music in the background. Oh, wow. I can't wait till AI can figure out how to get Rob out of our podcast. It would be a short podcast. I'm just going to put it that way. You think so? That's true. This is it? Yeah. Well, but you got to see this video. Look at this video. It has them like playing together. Look at this.

[22:30]Right here. Watch this. It literally has them all four playing together. As older dudes. Why? This is not, no one needs this. This is terrifying. Look at this. The world doesn't need this. Well, what you might not know is that they actually came out with a second song. And a lot of people liked it. Do you guys want to hear this? Do you want to hear the second one? Oh, I can't imagine what it was about. Well, let's see what the second one's about. Give it to me, Peter. Oh, Aaron.

[23:05]He likes something. And it's not your hand. Oh, he likes those feet. He sucks them when he can. Aaron is a foot man. Aaron is a foot man. When he sees those feet, he becomes the biggest fan.

[23:32]If you have nice feet, he'll pay for your only fans. Aaron is a foot man. Aaron is a foot man. I'll say those vocals sound really good. Let's just, let's just imagine. Let's just for the sake of argument. Let's just say that I am a foot man and I do have a foot fetish. Let's just say the craziest thing. Let's just, let's just, you just say that.

[24:00]You just said, you just, I know, I know, I know. Yeah, right. Please give me a call right away. I couldn't possibly, even if that were my fetish, I couldn't think about feet as much as Rob thinks about me thinking about feet. Can you imagine how much of Rob's brain space is thinking about me thinking about feet? You know what, Aaron? Last week I was like, he's projecting. Yeah. Last week I was in the Dominican Republic and I was at a beach. I went to a beach like three days,

[24:30]which is a lot for me. And I saw a lot of feet go by and it made me think about Rob thinking about you thinking about feet. Oh, wow. Well, now we're in, now we're in a foot inception. Pretty perverted, right? Let's just say this, Russell. Yeah. I think going on a vacation to a sunny place without telling us should be a good idea. It would be illegal on back to the better. When you went, I had, how do you know that everyone wasn't told, but you Rob, there are other text sheets out there where there are people are being told things that you might not think about that.

[25:03]Oh my God. Well, we had to turn up the engagement alert to level orange. Okay. We had to, we had to put out an alert. It went up. Okay. Went back down. Yeah. We went to level two out of a hundred. Russell rolling going. How's it going with you? Rolling. Things are going good. I, I'll, I'll, we better go to the advice corner. I got, I can, I can use some advice. All right. Quit waiting around. Yeah. It's time for Russell.

[25:30]I got a sand in my foreskin. What do I do? Oh, yeah. Uh, question, question one. If you go to, I won't do this or I could do it. The Jeff Fox. What's it? Dr. Phil. Yeah. If you go to the Dominican Republic with your significant other, and they come home and write a text, their family saying there was no ring involved, but it was still fun.

[26:00]Could you be a redneck? You could be on the clock. You were on the clock. Russell. Yeah. You've been on the clock. Now you're double on the clock. Wow. That text chain probably just doesn't have family members on it either. It's probably got people who are also related to him. That's what I heard. Yeah. So strange. And those related people probably send it around to other people. This might not be the first I've heard of that text message. Russell. Russell. I got to say this. Okay. If you are thinking, and I thought about this the other day and I almost passed out.

[26:32]If you were thinking of eloping, if you were thinking of eloping and not having a wedding party, okay, you might get kicked off the podcast. And I'm not kidding. We might have to ask you to leave. And out of the text chain. Yeah. You're out of the text chain. You're out of the podcast. No more Vegas. You've been going to Vegas by yourself. That would be absolutely outrageous. Okay. I know dozens of people that would be furious. Okay. Russell, are you thinking about eloping? Would those dozens be the ladies I had to swipe right left on when I was in

[27:02]the Dominican, right when I landed in that left, left. Hey folks, it's halftime here. The Timberwolves game. Oh, one of the dancers looks really sad. So Russell, what's your, what is your advice? Exactly. I would say you are in trouble. You are officially in trouble. This is a, this seems like it's a major, a major crossroads. And I am very worried about how you're going to handle it. Actually makes me very stressed out. The first piece of advice really came about. Uh,

[27:30]I, I do, I do a lot of work trips and Matt, you do a lot of work trips. I don't know how often your wife goes with you, but at some point I was kind of informed that if I keep going to tropical destinations for work trips, right. And I do not invite along my co-tenant, there's going to be a problem. Is that, what do you do if you are threatened? With, Hey, I need to be invited along to some of these tropical destinations. Do you bring your co-tenant Matt or what do you do? Yeah. I mean, part of it, right.

[28:00]Is like, you're going, you're going to be there. I mean, you have like work events, right. Usually it doesn't go late into the night. Things like sometimes there's parties or whatever, things like that. But I mean, like you're in this town, you've got this, probably a great hotel. You're probably going to go out to some restaurant or something like that. And if the only bill, you know, additional bill is just that plane, ride. I mean, usually you can find a pretty good deal or use miles or something. So absolutely. You should be bringing that co-tenant ears, Russell, wherever you go,

[28:30]unless it's like Columbus, Ohio or something where it's just boring as hell. So, you know, if you're going to these fancy places, why would you not bring Columbus has a good taco scene. I've not checked it out though. You've said that I've, I already knew that because of you. Russell. Now, let me ask you this. When I go to my wife's work trips, I go, after she is done working because when she is working is very boring. When I'm there, is it possible that you could extend the trip and have somebody come visit you post work? It is,

[29:00]it has happened where we have extended and had the co-tenant come visit me after the work thing is over this time. I should get a ding ding. I invited the co-tenant to come with me to the Dominican Republic. Wait a minute. I gave that a ding ding before I knew what you're going to say. You invited her to come with you and you want a ding ding for that. I, I'm not sure that I did exactly what Matt said. I did. What are you talking about? Taking Matt's advice is an automatic ding ding. Russell. I think that's a very smart thing to do. What is she bored during the day when you're like doing whatever you do?

[29:31]I don't know. I'm oiling people up or whatever you do. I'm not sure. I will just say, I'll put this nicely. This might need to be cut out. I did go to a few work events the first few days and we went to a place called Casa de Campo. It's this beautiful resort Dominican Republic. It's where it's Spanish for house. It's the house of the compo. They just had a big statue of that old Dallas Cowboys coach, Dave Campo. Oh,

[30:00]oh, geez. That's a pull. Oh, my computer just did that on its own. The computer loved that joke. So I, I bring the co-tenant with me and I will say that the, by the end of date, the middle of day two, after my conference, I got back and this was such a big resort. You had to have a golf cart to get around. It was two, two big, it's like a fifth, like a 10 minute golf cart ride to the beach, 15 minute golf cart ride, like the city with all the restaurants, the ancient city and all this stuff. Go ahead,

[30:30]Matt. So a lot of times you are running these events that you're doing. So you're going to this place and it's like your company running. Is this one where you're running it or are you just like a guest speaker? I'm a guest speaker at it. Oh, even better. So you've got like, you've got a limited amount of time that you've got to really be on. And then you've got a lot of time to be down, do whatever. We'll just, we'll put it this way. So it, this place it's like a hundred degrees and humid as hell there. So if you don't have that golf cart and you're in a suit and you've got to walk from like where you're staying to the conference,

[31:01]it's, it would be a disaster, especially for someone like me or Aaron that, that is going to sweat through all the way through a suit. You want to see a guy sweat all the way through a suit, just like wringing out a suit jacket. That would be me. And I got to say, seeing a guy in a full suit in the sun, just not a great look for that guy in the suit. Like you're lost. You don't know where you're going. Guys in suits. Belong down on the subway or bustling around in a city, not walking under a palm tree. So I, I text the, I text the coach and I'm like, Hey, cause she had free will to take the golf cart wherever she wanted.

[31:32]Well, she was going to go explore. Wait, is it, this is not, is this, isn't that, is this not a normal thing where she has free will? Right. I'm saying, I'm saying she, she's so good at lock picking now. Oh my God. She's all, she's all in a paperclip when I wasn't looking, she's able to get almost out of anything. Now she could take the, she could take the golf cart wherever she wanted. I didn't need the golf cart during the day. So she, she wanted. Russell unlocked the refrigerator for me while he was gone. Yeah. Russell, let me ask you. Grab yourself one Diet Coke.

[32:00]Hey, put that cheesecake or that carrot cake back while you're up there. Russell, were you, did she have to take off? Did she have to take you to the thing on a golf cart and drop you off? Are you getting dropped off on a golf cart? So you're like, why is he dropped off on a golf cart? Oh my God. Russell's getting, now Russell, let me ask when, when you are going to this thing, are you driving the golf cart and then switching or are she driving you? If I'm getting dropped off, I'm on the, I'm in the, I'm sitting shotgun and I'm jumping off immediately.

[32:30]The golf cart stops. Wow. Russell has listened to both Matt and Aaron on this podcast. He knows what's going on. Nice job, Russell. So eventually the conference is over and there, there was a lack of communication about whether the coach said it was coming to pick me up or not. So it was maybe a little frustration on the thought that I was going to have to walk back in the suit. You know, the, the 20 minute walk in the a hundred degrees or whatever, but eventually walk out and she's there and we walk by someone and we're going to have to bleep this Rob, but the,

[33:00]the concierge, she walks by and she goes, Hey, all of a sudden, all these people in the hotel are saying, Hey, they know her name. We've been there for a day and a half. There's at least six to seven people there that know her name. Yeah. Now it just means she's been treating people. Well, is she like Lloyd Christmas? When, when he's got the money bag, here you go. Here you go. She handed out IOUs all over the place. I'm hearing foots. I'm hearing footsteps upstairs. I bet she have a spray painted shirt that says her name on the shirt.

[33:33]Like I will say the co-tenant has claimed that they're just a very, uh, outgoing person with a good personality and maybe they just made good connections. Yeah. It turns out that they thought she was being attacked by you. Hey, look out. There's a guy, look at that guy behind you. He's the scariest looking guy I've ever seen. Oh wait, he's in a suit. While I was at the conference, it turns out the co-tenant broke her phone. And so we're in the middle of the Dominican Republic.

[34:03]And so the phone sounds like some of your wife would do. Can't throw it in the ocean. And so I will say this, I, this is, I'm going to give so much credit to my co-tenant here. Like when I'm at work, I need, I want to be focused. I don't want to be, I don't want to be bothered with like texts about, Hey, I need to get this. I need to be away from that. I need to get my stuff done. Yeah. I hear nothing about it, but I go and the co-tenant's a little flustered,

[34:30]can't find their credit card. So I, okay, we'll figure it out or whatever. Also, the reason they know her is that she had broken her phone and needed a new one. So she went into the concierge and this, this, this resort is kind of in the middle of nowhere. It's just this big, huge, beautiful resort, but the city like around it is kind of, you know, a little bit, a little more impoverished, I would say. So the hotel does an amazing job. They set her up with the car driver. They take her into town and the car driver essentially acts as her escort,

[35:01]takes her into town to the store where they do phones, translates for her at the phone store. She gets a brand new phone, comes back. The phone has been replaced before I've even done with the conference. It's been broken and replaced before I'm even picked up. Is that amazing or what? That's great. That's awesome. I think you're, you're doing a great job of training her. You're doing an excellent job. Keep up the good work. Get that shit done before I'm back. Right? Right. I'll tell you, my only concern though, is that she's bought some phone to the Dominican Republic and it's like,

[35:31]I phone 012. Like, Oh, this may not be a real. Now, Russell, I'm going to say this, Russell, if that was, if that was somebody I know, okay, who maybe broke their phone while I'm doing an important work thing. Okay. I can't even comprehend what that is, but I would get no less than 5,000 texts about it. That would just pile up. I broke my phone. I broke my phone. Oh wait, she couldn't because she broke her phone. I was going to say, there would be no phone. It's the perfect crime. Russell, that's so good. I'm so excited. Just thinking about my wife breaking her phone makes me so excited.

[36:01]There were a number of other specific requests for the hotel and the concierge over the last few days where I think almost everyone who worked at that hotel knew her by name. It's so good for her. Madam, we have your condoms pequeno. Condoms pequeno. Is this what you wanted? We drove all around the island on the smallest one. Yeah, we found those keys for El Cockage. Smallo. Those Dominicans,

[36:30]they don't, they don't use the pequeno ones. Those Dominicans. Oh, okay. No, we don't know what you're talking about. And then she points at me and they're like, oh yeah, yes, yes, ma'am. There's the first wife. There's the first wife. There she is. There she is. So I will ask on the way down there, I was going to get your, we always, I took a two, I took a multiple flights to get there. A flight tonight, a flight and multiple flights. All right. All right. These are the stories that I like. This will probably be the only time you hear me playing guitar tonight.

[37:00]We're going to hear about this. Fly tonight. Oh, that's a good rap. So going to the Dominican Republic, not an easy straight shot from Minneapolis. So you have to do a layover or a connecting flight somewhere. So on the way down, we decide what we're going to do is fly at night, stay at the Miami airport hotel, for the night and then get up and then take the next flight. The next morning to the Dominican Republic. So essentially breaking up the day, it turns out the Miami airport hotel.

[37:30]It was a miracle. We didn't get murdered there. You walk in and it's got like, it just feels like there's been bad things that happened here. Right. That feels like you need a black light right there. Like that just feels like you just, you know, like let's just check it out. Just see how covered this place is. We'll see if this black light works. Let me put it on. My pants first. Yep. It works. All right. Let's check out this room. I think it might've been one of the first hotels where like the people who check you in are like sitting down. Like they, they're not standing to help you.

[38:00]They're like sitting at a chair, like looking up at the computer. They don't get up that type of thing. But when you're at the Aldi's of hotels, that's never a good sign. You know what I mean? Hey, Russell, what, what, where, where did you fly into Miami? Miami international airport. No. Then into the Dominican. Where'd you fly? Santo Domingo. Okay. So you, that's that farther away than Punta Cana. It would have been, I would have had to go through Atlanta, get it to Punta Cana. Okay. I was going to say, cause there is a direct flight from Minneapolis to Punta Cana.

[38:30]What airline though, Matt? One that I would never take. Sun country. The problem is Matt, that doesn't fly every day. It only a certain day is. Okay. But so we, we get in there and my co-tenant is one where if the hotel has a minor issue, this could be like an amazing hotel, it's going to be, it's going to be noted if you will, which is kind of a grinds my gears a little bit, but we go into this Miami hotel and I walk in and it is

[39:00]a dump and I go into the bathroom. There's like an old towel hanging over this, like the bat, the sink, like the, the rail for what's that called? The curtain rod. Like, so like a used towel laying in there still. So I decide the way to do it is proactively just be like, this is terrible. So I'll be the one to call out how bad this is. So I don't need to hear any, any response on it. Is that the way to do it or what? Russell? I think that's pretty good. Actually. You're doing a pre-complain,

[39:30]you know what I mean? Yeah. You're stepping up. I like that. I like that. So you're going to, you're going to lessen the regular complaint because you've already complained. Okay. Already complain. There's no reason to complain more. Right. But so anyways, you can't triple stamp a double stamp. I just want to get back to the idea that going to hotel and finding a used towel in the room would be such a bummer. Because you're like, listen, I would say the easiest thing to do, just get all the towels out here. Like that's the number one, you know, what's harder cleaning the sheets. Like I would not have no faith that they clean the sheets after I

[40:03]found a used towel in the bathroom disaster, Russell. And it was really embarrassing when they had all the grande condoms in that, in that leftover too, right? Oh no. Just come, just come down. Just, you just call them the front desk for some scissors. Uh, excuse me. You know what? You're doubling up the number of columns you have, but eventually we made everything great. I'm not going to lie. The one side of that, not going to be a great condom, but the other one, fine. Eventually we made it,

[40:30]we get to the resort and everything. But then on the way back, we took another flight in this time, no overnight stay. It's, it's into Miami layover or connecting flight back to Minneapolis three and a half hour window there to should be totally fine to get through customs and everything flight coming back from Dominican Republic gets delayed. Forty five. Then we get to Miami and we got about two and a half hours left. They parked us way down. We got to go for about a 40 minute walk to get through the airport to get through customs.

[41:02]Then you got to grab your bags. There's lines waiting for your bags. You got to get bags. You got to put them on from one rack onto a different rack. Wow. You got to go through security again. You got to, they're going to send us through security a second time, right? At this point, we were running through the airport. Do you think you wearing a big white suit with sunglasses, like a, like you in big chains? Do you think that raised any suspicion of you flying in Miami? It didn't help. Yeah. So eventually we barely made our flight right before,

[41:32]right. As they were boarding, but we had to do like the full run through the airport. I know Matt's a late airport. Go review. You guys ever had to do like the full sprinting through the airport type of thing or not? I don't know. I haven't gone full OJ Simpson in the airport. I've never done it in the airport. I've done it on the Embarcadero in San Francisco because we're, because we're going to be late for our ferry to Alcatraz. So we hadn't had his parents and her brother. And I think that was it. But your family was here in town and we got there late and we're trying to catch our ferry to get to Alcatraz and like sprinting down the Embarcadero.

[42:01]Oh boy. But they probably hold the plane for Matt. He's too high status. They're not, the only thing I've ever did one time I was ordering some food or something and it was just taking forever. And I got an alert on my phone that you know, boarding, kind of a thing. And I had to walk for awhile and I had to just leave the food and walk there because I just couldn't wait any longer. And you know, I was like fifth from last to get on and things. So it was fine. I probably could have waited, but no,

[42:30]you know, proper planning, Russell goes a long way. Proper planning goes a long way. If we're going to proper plan to keep this, if we're going to proper plan this episode, to keep it going, plan, you plan to fail, Matt Roland going, how's it going with you? Good. Rob, I got a song of the week that I'd like you to pull up. All right. In the background. And it's more for my kids than anything, a cold play, a sky full of stars. It is. It's in a sing too. Well, I've heard this.

[43:00]You want this for your kids? Okay. It's in a movie. Sing too. Sing too. And it's a great scene. And so yeah, we'll just play that one. Snoop dog. Just a couple of random things. Snoop dog. He quit smoking. Oh, does anybody believe this is he's actually quit smoking weed. It's the same thing Willie did. He's like, he says he quit the smoke. He didn't quit weed though. He quit the smoke. And it's,

[43:30]and he's, it's because he's going to be selling an edible, right? Like he has. Yeah. Yeah. Again, boy, the Skechers guy is now selling a head of, but you know what? He's still cool as hell. It doesn't matter. Like I've seen him coach youth football. I've seen him become a total corporate shill. And he still is as, absolutely cool as he could possibly be like, it's crazy. How could you be that cool? Rob, do you think Snoop dog rocks around with edibles? Just in his pocket? Like not in a bag. Like, you know how you just carry them around?

[44:00]Like where you got to wipe the lid off. You got to like blow the lid off before. Is that what he does? Or how does he, I ate a super hard edible the other day. And I thought of you, Russell. It made me smile. We were in Vegas. That one time he just pulls them out of his pocket. Here you are. I got a very nice roomy, spacious, new, I heard the new term for a fanny pack is a belt bag. So I got a new belt bag. Yeah. Very nice one for the Anagami for my anniversary.

[44:30]So that can hold all of the edibles. We're calling it a belt bag. I've always called it a fanny pack, but like guys, I don't like saying the word fanny. We can't be calling it a belt bag. Can we? But I'm very excited. Like I can fit a lot of edibles in this big bag. That's true. It's a good point. And it can cover up in case you piss your pants. That's right. But Aaron, do you put the edibles like in some sort of packaging or just in the belt bag? Like where the, where the actual gummy is touching the inside? Well, that's up to you guys. I'm just thinking about it for Vegas.

[45:00]I mean, I mean, I don't, at home, I don't carry them in the belt bag, but I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about, I want to be that guy. Like I want to be the guy with the guys where it's like, oh man, who's got a Kleenex? Who's got an edible? Who's got, you know, a nail file, whatever. Like I'm going to have it. Aaron, nobody on that trip has ever asked for a Kleenex ever. - Well, you never know. They're going to be in there if you need them. - Jesus. - Aaron doesn't know this because he's only usually there for about 16 hours. - Yeah. - But when we're there, January 19th to the 22nd, 2024 at the Link Hotel, you know, this year,

[45:31]Aaron will be there for at least two days, I think, right? So you're going to get a whole new experience. - Rob, don't the Kleenexes usually just get left on your bed or not? - Well, yeah. I mean, I do use them to clean my face before I go to bed. - Just so we, you know, stay on schedule this week. The only other thing I got is, have you guys gotten into "Welcome to Wrexham" at all? - No.

[46:00]- No. - The documentary about the soccer team? - Cannot believe how well done it is. It's not just, you know, about the soccer team and then moving up and all this stuff. It's about like this town, Wrexham, in Wales. And it is unbelievable. They just had the final, the finale week 15. Or episode 15 of season two. And I'm not going to spoil it for too many people, but I think most people know that they ended up moving up and all this stuff. But what they do for that town and Ryan Reynolds and the other guy from, it's always sunny in Philadelphia,

[46:33]Rob McElharney or whatever his name is. What those guys do is unbelievable. And if anybody has anything ever bad to say about those guys, watch that documentary. It is, I mean, it is, I could not believe what they did for that town and how they told the story and everything they did. And then just the success they've had. I mean, and again, they're buying a team to help them move up, which is fine, right? Like it's all part of it. But it's unbelievable what they did.

[47:01]So I highly recommend watching "Welcome to Wrexham" on Hulu if you get a chance. - Plus it's another way to say USA number one. Okay. All we're doing, we're sending over movie stars and we're beating your ass in soccer. Get the fuck out of here. Okay? Nice. The best is when they sell that team. And then make a bunch of quote unquote, charitable contributions to offset all their capital gains when they sell that team. What I can't believe is that they're moving the Wrexham team to Las Vegas. Did you guys hear that? I mean, that's gotta be just perfect.

[47:30]- Oh, fuck off. God damn it. - It's gotta be tough. Tough to hear. - Wow. Oh, we made it all the way through with that. - Unanimous. Unanimous vote. All the other owners. - Right now. Yeah, of course they've, I mean, what else are they gonna do? They just gotta go there and print money. God. Fuck. - Rolling, going. Aaron, how's it going with you? - Fucking fine. Thanks for asking. Yeah, it's just a really good time to throw it to me. Well, let's see. So I did get to do one of my favorite things today. And it does lead me to a question, which is,

[48:02]what is... - What? Excuse me. - I didn't do that today. That would have been a better idea. I did get to go, I was out of Duke's Mayo, so I got to go down and buy the big tub of Duke's Mayo. But like, what? - Yeah. - What's a reasonable... I look back, 'cause I took a photo the last time I found it, and I bought one on August 27th, and then it was gone. I think it's like 30 ounces, 32 ounces. - Okay, so we're just gonna- - What's a reasonable amount of time

[48:30]for one man to finish that much mayo? - It is now November. You bought a, how big of a one? What are we talking? - I think it's 30 ounces, 32, maybe. But I did get to go buy a new one. But I'm wondering, like, what's a reasonable amount of time for mostly one person to finish that much mayo? Like when, should I, like... - Just to give you an idea, think of the largest Yeti cup you can buy. That's 30 ounces. Okay? - Maybe it's not that big. - So, you're taking down that much mayo. - No, but Rob, the largest Yeti mug you can steal,

[49:01]I believe, is 48 ounces, right? - Wow. That one, it's still going strong. It's cool. - Steal is kind of a strong word, Russell. Don't you think? - Guys, procure? - Yeah. - How much mayonnaise are you eating? Oh, Aaron, you ate that much mayonnaise in three... Now, are there... - It's 30 ounces. It's smaller than my head. - Oh, it doesn't look that bad. - I mean, it's not that bad, right? So, I think I'm okay, right? - What do we use this mayo for? Like, I do not see... - He's got that twang. - Tuna fish, mostly. - Really? - Yeah, I know what he's using it for. It's tuna fish.

[49:31]- It's always tuna fish. - You know what I think is amazing, Aaron, is that you finish it. I don't think I've ever finished a condiment in my life. I think they always go mad where I have to throw it away. I don't think I've ever finished anything like that that comes in a jar. It always gets tossed. - We've got fish sauce that's older than one of my kids. - Oh, I just finished some fish sauce this week, too. - What? - Yeah, used the last of it. I had some leftover Sloppy Joe's. I was reheating some Sloppy Joe's to go over some rice.

[50:00]And I was like, you know what this needs? It needs a little bit of fish sauce. - I can't. Aaron, Sloppy Joe's don't have fish in it. Why would he have fish sauce? - 'Cause it gives it, it just like punches it up a little bit. - I know how you like a extra schlappe in with fish sauce. What? What was that second part? - It's just like a little bit of that, it gives a little more salt, a little, you know, like it's got the umami. I don't like to use that term 'cause I think it's trendy, but-- - We're not talking about that. - It kind of rounds out the-- - Ah, don't worry, Aaron, it's not a term I hear too much often anywhere else in my life.

[50:30]So I'm not burned out on the word umami. - So it adds that umami to something. So I finished, yeah, I finished fish sauce and mayo this week, so that's exciting. But I do have an update that our listeners might be interested to know, which is that this is a sad one, too. I don't know if we have like any eulogy type tracks or any sad stuff, but-- ♪ Everybody hurts ♪ - We are-- - So we've got it. - Our fig tree went away today. We-- - Oh, no. - The fig tree, the fig tree is gone.

[51:00]- What? - No. - Did you run over it with a car? - I, no, no, that's a good, that's a good joke. Good joke, also a good joke. - Did it die 'cause you were peeing on it in the evenings when you were staying outside? Did you poison it? - All good guesses. - I poisoned those trees, roll tide! - The simplest answer, though, we're renovating the backyard and we were not able to save the fig tree,

[51:30]so the fig tree became a casualty of trying to get more space for my son to play in the backyard. So the fig tree is no more. This year's fig season was not as good as last year's, so I have to tell all our listeners that-- - Here's what I don't get. I set up one farm in the rainforest. It was so bad at me, okay? Hey, guess what? I was slashing and burning, okay? I was doing both, don't worry about it. - I, you know, my mother-in-law always yells at me 'cause we talk about trees going down

[52:00]and trimming trees and all this stuff, and it's a renewable resource, Aaron. You can just grow another fig tree, find a new spot for it, don't worry about it. It's okay. - I appreciate you, man. Thank you, thank you. But I thought our-- - A couple years, you'll be back to harvesting figs and giving them away. - I appreciate you, man. - Hey, and somewhere out there, door-to-door salesmen, are bummed beyond belief right now, Aaron. That would be the saddest thing I would say. - Yeah. Oh, remember when Aaron was gonna get that solar for his house? Instead, he just cut down a bunch of trees around his house. He told he-- - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any other home improvement projects

[52:30]are gone for the next two years, for sure. Rob, how's it really going with Rob? - Well, let me pull up what I was gonna talk about. Well, first of all, I don't know, have you guys heard? They actually, I just saw, I got an email about it 'cause I'm on a special list. There is a third-- - The Beatles got a new song? - There is a third new Beatles song. - No, couldn't be. - Do you guys wanna hear this one? - I would enjoy it a lot, yeah. - And I can't remember what any of these are. Let's just listen to it real quick. - He made sure to turn it way up. - Let's hear the E-I-N-E-R, can't you?

[53:04]- Yeah, it just sounds a little... - Get along with the bass on the piano. - Ooh, nice. ♪ When Aaron is at the beach ♪ ♪ There is only one thing he wants ♪ ♪ To see ♪ ♪ He thinks shoes are dumb ♪ ♪ Show him feet ♪ ♪ And when Aaron's at the airport ♪ ♪ He always goes into heat ♪

[53:30]♪ When people at security show their feet ♪ ♪ Women's feet, women's feet ♪ ♪ Aaron thinks they're pretty neat ♪ ♪ Aaron thinks shoes are dumb ♪ ♪ He loves women's feet ♪ - Ooh, I had the... - Wow. - It sounded like Bob Dylan was gonna... It sounded like, yeah, I mixed up Bob Dylan a little bit. Go back to about 10 seconds left of that song. That's Bob Dylan. - Oh, no, you were talking about this part.

[54:01]♪ Aaron thinks they're pretty neat ♪ - Right there, right there, right there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bob Dylan. - You know what I mean? - If you guys knew how much I had the pitch correction on, GarageBand, when I sang that, you would be embarrassed. Oof, that was bad. Anyway. - I think you could have... You could have turned the pitch correction up a little more, to be honest. - Thank you. - You could have been a little more correct if I'm... - Okay, well, Aaron, you don't have to hurt my feelings, actually, really rude. Listen, I'm just trying to have fun, Aaron. I'm actually trying to make a fun podcast, okay? Maybe I didn't see the multiple parody songs

[54:30]you made for this podcast. Anyway, guys, I have an update, okay? This is a very important update. There was a new delivery downstairs when I walked in the other day. - Whoa! - And it blew my mind, and I immediately pulled out my phone and wrote it down. The delivery that somebody got to their apartment that was sitting in the lobby that I saw, because I can see everybody's deliveries when I come in, was Taco Bell! - Nice! - Oh, yes! - I was so jealous. I immediately was like,

[55:00]fuck, I should order some Taco Bell. Like, that is a great idea. It was just sitting there in a bag, and it had a big Baja Blast right next to it, and I was like, god damn, somebody could just bring me that, and I could just have it? Guys, should I order some Taco Bell tonight? - You should definitely order some Taco Bell tonight. - I definitely should. - Order it right now, and if it gets here before we end, then we'll all chip in. - I was just thinking, like, I should order some food right now. - Yeah. - It's like the Thanksgiving pairing, right? Rob, the cheesy gordita crunch, and the something type of munch, right?

[55:32]- Oh, no. - Something type of munch. Russell, you silver, I mean, who is this? This is, oh, a guy with a big nose, Russell, Aaron, in that movie, what is this? A little bit of Bershiac? Nailed it. Pulled it out right away. - I'd actually love Bradley Cooper's prosthetic for the Bernstein movie. Highly controversial. - Anyway, so guys, I gotta say, what do you think is the best restaurant to get delivered? Last, the other week, we talked about the worst, the best.

[56:01]I gotta say, I think Taco Bell is right up there. I also think, you know what? I wouldn't mind, I was gonna say McDonald's, but I don't think that's true, 'cause I don't think the fries would travel very well. - It's gotta be something wrapped, so a burrito, shawarma, gyro, falafel, like, it's gotta be in a wrapped form, I think, I think. - I think you're totally right. - Maybe something over rice, maybe, but like, the sauces can get weird. I think a burrito is the ultimate. - You know what I would like? I'll tell you right now, a meatball sub from Subway,

[56:30]and you get the sauces soaked into the bread, and then we're just going full on, like, hey. - That's real. - And now that they show the calories at all the restaurants, you know how much that thing is. You don't fuck, you're not losing any weight. Ah, you're not holding up your pants after, they're not eating meatball subs, they're eating veggies, they're not eating the real boys, which it turns out are 1,500 calories for a foot long. Oh my God. - Yes. - Russell, what are you getting delivered? - It's a good start on your day. - Go to Matt first, I don't know offhand. Matt, what are you getting delivered? - It used to be road osha,

[57:01]and I'd get the pineapple fried rice, chicken fried rice, spice level three. - Extra veggies. - And now it's amazing Thailand, and I get the pineapple fried rice, the chicken, spice level three. - Wow, man. And what do you do? Do you order with no vegetables? - Yeah, I keep the cashews, keep the raisins, but no cilantro, no scallions, no onions. And usually, you know, the amazing Thailand, I think it comes with carrots and maybe like sweet peas or something like that too, so just cut them all out.

[57:31]- It's disgusting. When he said carrots, you would have thought he was talking about the most disgusting item in the entire world. - Right? - Russell, you could have one place delivered right now. What would you say? - One of the places I've been into since I moved into my new place is a place called Storm King Barbecue. Getting barbecue delivered, you get some barbecue sandwiches, get some nachos, like brisket nachos or something like that. - What? - Yeah. - You can kind of pick a few different things. It's kind of fun. I'll go with barbecue. - Oh, I think that is absolutely great.

[58:01]Listen, let's get into the album. - Oh, is this a music podcast? - We are talking about Cream, Israeli Gears, Cream, Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker, Eric Clapton, or something like that. - Okay. Bruce and, or I'm sorry, Baker and Clapton had started a group and they called themselves Cream because they had both been the cream of the crop. Literally, the cream of the crop, Russell. Is there anything you want to say to that? - Cream of the crop?

[58:30]- Maybe an impression? Maybe an impression? Just a little, just a little taste? Oh, I thought Macho Man talked a lot about cream of the crop. - Oh yeah, you seem to be sour. - Good. So here's the thing. - I am Eric Clapton and the cream always bites me. Eyes to the top and I created a band with my buddy Jack Bruce on bass and Ginger Baker at the drums and we are the cream of the crop. Ooh, yeah. - They are generally thought of

[59:00]as one of the first super groups, okay? 'Cause apparently they had, Clapton was with the Yardbirds, Bruce was with Manford Man, okay? He was just getting over a horrible thing that happened to his eyes when he was blinded by the light. And then Baker was with the Graham Bodie organization. And I was like, is there really a super group if one of the guys is in Graham Bodie organization? I was like, yeah, they're all talented. That doesn't make them a super group. I pushed back on Wikipedia saying that these guys are a super group.

[59:30]- But Ginger Baker, like people, like Fela Kuti came to LA to record with him, right? Like Ginger Baker was like a known, he was like a international name, yeah. - Yeah, genius and multiple stories of him pulling knives on people. - He was just one guy, if you were talking to him, there's a chance he's gonna pull out a knife, okay? So once again, he was that knife guy. - He's like little Sid Vicious, let me show you me knucks, right? - Russell, you're getting really good at impressions. They put out four albums in three years.

[60:03]They recorded this at Atlantic Studios in NYC, the same studio, Aaron, as Giant Steps, Lady Soul, and Danzig by Danzig. These both got at the top five. - Oh, stop. - I know, it's like wild. - That's amazing. - Hey Aretha, you're out. Danzig, come on in, let's go. - Mother. - Tell the children not to walk my way. - Basically, this album is one of the big psychedelic rock

[60:33]from Britain, mixing with blues in the United States. I mean, the fact that this album was recorded in the United States, I think is surprising to me. After this album, they went on to do really, and focus on longer jams. And so from this album, they only played "Brave Ulysses" and "Sunshine of Their Love" in their live acts after this. This album was originally at 112 and 114 in the first two lists, and is now all the way back to 170. So let's listen to Disraeli Gears, okay?

[61:03]We got "Strange Brew." Clapton is extraordinarily good at guitar. I don't know if that's a controversial statement, but I'm gonna make it right now. - It is awesome that the, you know, right from the first notes, that's what you hear. - Now, the problem is they've got, I think this is Clapton singing this one. Most of these songs, though, are sung by Jack Bruce.

[61:31]And I'm not so sure Jack Bruce is a voice I wanna hear for a bunch of songs on this album. I would love to just hear the guitar, I think. - Yeah, that was kind of the whole Clapton thing for a long time. Sorry, Russell, hit it. ♪ What would you rather hear on the super team, brother ♪ ♪ I mean, the mega powers are gonna explode, brother ♪ - Yes, the mega powers, we're a super group, right? - The mega powers, so stupid. When you guys heard this song, could you think of anything else

[62:00]beside Bob and Doug McKenzie? And a movie that you would rent when you were younger and be like, "I think I get why this is funny." Where they're just drinking beer? You guys know what I'm talking about? "Strange Brew"? No, I forgot. I forgot who I'm talking to. I am so sorry. - Speaking of movies, no one's seen, guess what I went and saw at the theater last night? - Oh, did you do it? - "RoboCop." - Murphy. - Murphy, Murphy. I gotta say, this is a crazy, it's a crazy movie. It's a very funny movie. There's a lot of funny stuff in here that I don't know if it's intentionally funny or unintentionally funny.

[62:30]- It's a comedy, Rob? Is it a comedy? - Oh, 100%, when the ED-209, when they can't get it to stop. I mean, that is the funny stuff, Russell. Blast that guy into smithereens. - Hey, Rob, is this the soundtrack that I would have been playing in my car on the way home? The way after the movie, "Back Home?" Yes, it is. - Yes. - Is this the song that the person who went with me to see "RoboCop" asked me, "What the hell are you playing in the car on the ride home?" And did I say, "This is the RoboCop soundtrack?" You're damn right I did. - Nice. - I was also informed that--

[63:00]- Russell, do you think "RoboCop" has one of the greatest endings of all time? Where he just shoots out the guy out the window and then says, "Murphy." - I think so, sure. - Okay, sorry, killed it again. Go ahead, Russell. - There was never, it's probably the biggest, biggest crowd of nerdy, 30 to 50-year-old men in one place I've seen in a long time. - Wow. - Did they cheer when the guy went through the toxic waste? - You haven't been to a Weezer concert in a while. - Yeah, I was gonna say, I'd like to introduce you to a band called They Might Be Giants. Okay, they will see you shortly.

[63:30]So, next up, we've got "Sunshine of Your Love." They're probably their biggest hit. Definitely their biggest off this album. He wrote this song after seeing Jimi Hendrix, Jack Bruce wrote this and he said he wanted to have kind of a Hendrix sound. Now, famously, of course, the most famous Hendrix Clapton story is that Clapton saw Hendrix play in a concert and was outside crying in a taxi afterwards 'cause he realized he was never gonna be that good, okay?

[64:00]- I think everyone knows this song. Matt, I think your brother probably knows it 'cause this was on Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock. - A Guitar Hero. - And if we're talking Guitar Hero, we gotta do a list of the greatest songs ever. - Oh, my God. - Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock, but we've got a special twist on it this week. I decided, you know, there's so many songs in this, there's so many good songs, it's hard to narrow it down. So, what I thought we could do is Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock, the best songs where Matt has seen these bands in person.

[64:31]So, this is a list for Matt. - Wow. - Wow. - Okay. - All right, the first song on the list, Matt, you and I both were at this concert. You enjoyed this concert much more than I did, Murphy, you can actually see it from the lower level. This is the Rolling Stones. The song is "Paint It Black." ♪ I see a red door and I want it painted black ♪ - I don't know if they played this one or at all, Matt, 'cause I don't know what they played there, so. - I don't remember. I'd have to pull up the set list.

[65:00]- Wow, this is such a good song. ♪ I see a girl's papa dressed in this song ♪ - I mean, really, you've heard it so many times that it almost becomes like a cliche, but it's such a good song. - But it's terrifying because it was in the one Kevin Bacon movie. - Yeah. - It was called, yeah. - I know what you're talking about. - Yeah, it's so scary. - Was it the invisible one where you could see his dong? - No, no, no. - No, it's the one with Gina Gershon where he goes nuts and he's digging a hole in his yard because he sees ghosts. - Ooh, Tremors? - That is a great movie, too. No, no, no, no question. - Thank you.

[65:31]- Friday the 13th, the first one. - I believe it would be "Stir of Echoes." - "Stir of Echoes," yeah, that movie is creepy. - Oh, God. - Next song on the list is from 1993. I believe that we talked about this song, but this might be one Matt listens to all the time. It's "Smashing Pumpkins, Cherub Rock." - Such a, yeah. - This was in the category of the hottest band on earth in the "Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock." - Wow. - Some of the other categories were "Starting Out Small," one of your favorites, Rob.

[66:01]- Okay. - Your first real gig, "Making the Video Encore," "European Invasion," "Return of the Shred," "Big House," and "Battle for Your Soul." - "Shredder," I'm playing "Guitar Hero" again, "Shredder." - They came out to it. Now, Russell, here's the only thing I care about with "Guitar Hero." How many goddamn songs are on this game? - I have it for you, Rob, 73 songs. - That's a good number.

[66:30]- 73 songs are on the list, so. People like this game. The thing they didn't like, they said it was too hard to play, the gameplay changed a little bit, so it was really hard to play the game. This also introduced the two guitars, so you could do the bass or the rhythm. It played two-player. - Wow, wow. Major advancements. - Your guy, Billy Corgan, I think he liked Eric Clapton, Matt. He actually played a, on "Siamese Dream," the guitar he used was a 1988 Fender Eric Clapton Signature Stratocaster that was painted

[67:01]just like the guitar that Clapton used on "Cream." - Yeah, and then afterwards, he got some of Clapton's political views, and he was like, "Hmm, I think I like this as well." - Oh. Was it a white guitar? - Next up, from 1991, enough to start the round. - Too far. - I wasn't gonna do it. I wasn't gonna do it. - Just you took it too far. - You started it wrong. - Trust me, the edit point is already in my head. 1981, this is one of Matt's favorite bands as well.

[67:30]We got Pearl Jam, this is Evenflow. - Yes. Not one of them. - The Band. Wow. This would rock. I'm thinking about Magic Mike and his friend up in the studio, and they're trying to impress Eddie Vedder, but instead they're playing rock hero, guitar hero. - It's funny, you forget about guitar solos with, I forget about guitar solos with Pearl Jam.

[68:01]That was a fuckin' face melter right there. - It was really good. - Mike McCready was just on a podcast, Shifty. There's a Shifty podcast, what is it called? - If you say The 500, which is the other Rolling Stone list podcast, I'm gonna throw it out. - No, it's like talking to Shifty or playing guitar. Shifty's, I forget the guy's name, but he's a guitarist with Dave Grohl and Foo Fighters. He joined like in 1989, joined a little later, but Mike McCready was just on.

[68:30]So I listened to it, of course, and he was talking about how he would bring in, he was a huge Kiss fan growing up. - Hello. - All of the, I forget the guy's name 'cause I can't stand him. - He's got a letter jacket. It says so right there on the patch. Junior and senior year letter man. - I can't stand Kiss, but whoever the guitarist is, is very influential with all of these guys and their solos and taking it from kind of the hair metal bands to more of the grungy style.

[69:01]That's about the one thing they kept from the hair metal bands was the guitar solos. - You had mentioned Dave Grohl. I was reading that, that I didn't know this, that Nirvana and Pearl Jam really didn't get along to some extent. I think Cobain kind of thought Pearl Jam was kind of posers is what I was reading, that he kind of was critical of them a little bit, but there was a point where they kind of came together. They were at the MTV Music Awards. I think it's in, might be '92. MTV Music Awards are playing. They're both on stage and Eric Clapton is up on stage.

[69:30]He's playing "Tears From Heaven" and Cobain and Vedder come together and start hugging and slow dancing together on stage while Clapton is playing on the stage. You guys, you'll have to check that out, Matt. It's on YouTube. - Okay. - Wow. If you put that on a shirt and said this was the '90s, everybody would be like, well, no way, that's fake. There's no way there's that much '90s in one thing. I mean, think about how many times you heard, how many times did you hear "Tears From Heaven" in your life? A thousand, 2,000 times? - All in the unplugged, right? - So many, yeah, I had the unplugged CDs.

[70:00]- Yeah, it was such a good CD. - You find it, Matt? - No, I'm reading other stuff. - Okay. He's looking for another podcast that's more interesting. - Next up on the list. - Oh, here, well, we'll just say this. So, Kurt Cobain, something called "Far Out Magazine." "We never had a fight ever, I just always hated his band." That's a Kurt Cobain describing his relationship with Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder on MTV during the 1990s. - Yeah, I would say Eddie eventually won that one.

[70:33]- Oh. - Next up on the list is from 1994. - Well, Kurt's still higher on the list, so. - We just talked about this band, Matt and I both saw it. We saw this band. We were at the concert. They were open for Green Day. It's Weezer. The song is "My Name Is Jonas." - I've never heard of them. - What? This is such a good song. This opens the album. - Yeah, I haven't listened to it at all. - You don't know this song? - I don't know. - Are you kidding? - Are you kidding? - Weezer's a big hole in my knowledge, yeah. - Oh my God, I don't know. - This album, Aaron, you need to listen to this album

[71:02]yesterday. - I know, I know, I do. I know, I do. - You know what? Actually, I'm pissed off. I'm not, I'm not, I'm mad now at Aaron. Not on time. - Great song, right? - I saw these guys at the Armory, and it was unbelievable. A huge stage. - Hello. - Hello. - Huge stage. Video screen behind them. They had the video going. It was synced up to the songs. It was awesome. - Is the Armory the one in St. Paul?

[71:30]- Nope, it's in Minneapolis. - Okay. - Just off of Portland and about-- - West of the river. - I think it's 4th? I think it's 4th and 4th and 4th. - 4th and Portland? Oh, that's kind of tucked in a little, nook and... - Yeah, right back kind of on the way to the Viking Stadium now. Just east, southeast of the government center. - Nobody likes this, I have to say it. You guys are doing it 'cause you think it's funny. Everyone hates this. They actually hate it. - Does somebody-- - Okay, they think it's dumb. - Somebody, as soon as somebody calls in

[72:02]that's not named Rob , oh, somebody that's not named Rob, you know, we'll stop. Yeah, we'll stop. I don't hear from anybody. - As soon as somebody calls in-- - Call in and say no maps. - People don't like it when I'm angry, okay? They want me to be happy and fun, okay? Let's come on, let's go here. Last song on the list, dedicated-- - Yeah, that's what we hear too, Rob. Yeah, nobody likes it. - This song is dedicated to Matt as well. Matt, I believe you guys, you saw these guys recently, they played at two concerts in Minnesota, one at Target Field, one at 1st Ave.

[72:31]This was The Killers. The song is "When You Were Young." - Pleasure Principal and I once saw with Nick from Minneapolis and Ben, new listener Ben from Minneapolis. Did they play this one or not? - We were at 1st Ave. - Oh yeah, yeah, they played a whole, it was a top five concert I've ever been to. Killers at 1st Ave. - If I could go see The Killers with you and The Pleasure Principal, that would make me so happy. That would just be it. Matt, I don't want you to hate me forever, but I did have to Google to make sure I wasn't confusing The Killers and The Strokes.

[73:02]- The Strokes, yeah. Yeah, there's The Killers, there's The Strokes, there's The Black Keys, there's kind of a whole little genre from the early, 2000s that kind of come together. - Wait till Russell hears about The Hives. I mean, we're in huge trouble when that happens. - So normally that would be the end of the list, but in Guitar Hero, when you conquer the game, you unlock new songs. So I unlocked a new song because this, this was such a good list for Matt. And one of the things that Matt really loves about musics and lists is when I add on more songs,

[73:31]just to pleasure my own curiosity. - Just pile them up. - And so this one isn't for Matt. This one's for me. This is for Russ. The song is "Mississippi Queen" by Mountain. Just such a great song. - Oh yes. - I have this album. - Oh God, Leslie West. So good. I don't know what that drum start is or what it's called, but it's like just such an awesome drum. - But this is one, this was, you guys remember the, was it a Coors video that this was in?

[74:00]- Yes. - Or a commercial? - Some sort of beer commercial, right? - I know exactly what you're talking about. - Yep. - And I was always like, what is the United States gonna put up a bikini team that can finally compete internationally? It's so disappointing. Now, Russell, there's no way there could be a connection between Mountain and the album we're doing today, is there? - There may be, Rob. It turns out that the lead guy for Mountain, Felix Pappalardi, was the producer for this album by Cream. - What? - Wow. - Yes.

[74:30]- Wow. - Some people would say Leslie West was a leader 'cause he played guitar and sang on the album, but I guess that other guy was probably important too. - Oh. - Amazing. - Oh, just big time Russell's list, I'm a jerk. - That was easily a top five list, oh yeah. - Russell, that was a top five list, for sure. - Thanks. - That's, you know, Russell, that's one of my favorite lists you've ever done. - I was looking out for you on that one, Matt. - Good list there. - You know, oh, I forgot to say, I didn't include Sabotage, which is one of Matt's favorites. I didn't know if Matt has ever seen the Beastie Boys in person, so they did not make the list.

[75:00]- Nope, wow. - The other one that didn't make the list that almost made it was the song, what's the CM Punk entrance song, Matt? - It's a living color song, Cult of Personality. - Oh, God. - Yes. - And that is an amazing song, and I know Matt has been to wrestling, and Matt's a wrestling fan, he's a low-key wrestling fan, and I thought, I bet he's probably seen CM Punk and heard this song in person, but I wasn't sure, so I couldn't put it on the list. - I feel like CM Punk, yeah, no, I had to have seen him at some WWE show before,

[75:34]but I never saw him when he was like, you know, the top of the top, and then quit or got fired or whatever it was. But when he was just coming up, I saw him for sure. - I did not hear this song, but I have seen Vernon Reed play in person. So that's something. - That's something. - There you go. - Listen, next up, okay, we've got, and this is what I call, I think there's a depression triple play coming up where the next three songs are the biggest downers on an album after Sunshine of Your Lub.

[76:02]Lub, I mean, guys, why do I even bother? Sunshine of Your Lub? What am I, a pirate? Now, let me ask you this. Am I on Yo! MTV Raps? Sunshine of Your Ed Lub? World of Pain. - Mr. Lubber Lubber. ♪ There is a world of pain ♪ - You're entering a world of pain and it's gonna feel very psychedelic, Rob. Dig it.

[76:30]- I can tell you, if I was Bear, I'd make this World of Pain so fast, it would blow your mind. - I mean, it is a bummer that, just keep playing it. - It's a bummer that these instrumentalists are so great and the source material, which is the blues in some way, is so great, and then it was like, well, we're gonna do the blues, but just sing poorly over it and play the bass louder, and that's what it is, but it's still great music, but the singing just slows. - Feels like this should be a soundtrack

[77:00]for a Vietnam movie, right? - Yeah, definitely. - 100%. Dance the Night Away. Okay, let's start. This one, I just wrote, this song could be used to torture me. This is Ginger Baker, the drummer on vocals. And I just wanna play this for you. Look at this. Here's what it sounds like in the beginning. Now this song, now here's what it sounds like halfway through. Here's what it sounds like toward the end. It's just like,

[77:30]I mean, I'm fully expecting Cream Dressed as Women to come out and be like, hello, everybody. Here's some British jokes that you're gonna think are funny, you know? - I mean, it's gotta be like their version of the- - Monty Python. - The, what's his name? The Ringo, the AI guy, Ringo song, right? - Yeah. What is it? It feels like a British thing because this happened on Hendrix's albums too, right? Where like, well, I guess everybody gets a turn to sing no matter what. - Yeah. - And we gotta just like do something for everybody

[78:00]to have their turn to take the mic. - Well, and part of it is that Cream decided they want to, 'cause Baker and Bruce had been in a band before and had broken up 'cause they got in a huge fight. Which is probably not a great start in the band before they're in the band. - I see those jealous eyes, Bruce. We're breaking up. - And so they're like- - I'm gonna explode. - So they're like, this band is gonna be more democratic. We all get to sing. And then I think Eric Clapton was like, I'm nervous about singing. And after a while, I was like, okay. - Eric Clapton never wanted to sing, right? - Yeah, and then after a while, I was like, he was like, I think I gotta start singing a little bit more.

[78:31]I don't think I can do this. Now, I will this. This is one of the first songs to ever use a wah-wah pedal. "Tales of Brave Ulysses." Listen to this. - I love this song. It was the other side of the single with "Sunshine of Your Love." I mean, this is a bad-ass song, but, but. ♪ You thought the lead in winter ♪ - This was not written by anybody in the band. This was written by a poet named Martin Sharp.

[79:01]And he wrote this poem based on a song called "Suzanne" which was written by Leonard Cohen. Listen to this. - Oh, yeah, yeah, "Suzanne," yeah. - It's just like the same. ♪ Suzanne takes you down to a place by the river ♪ - It sounds exactly the same as when they're singing, listen to this again. - It also sounds like "White Room." - Yes, 100%.

[79:31]It's the same chords as "White Room," actually. - Yeah, it is, right? ♪ Would bring you down forever ♪ - It's the exact same singing. ♪ But you rode upon a steamer ♪ - Yeah. - ♪ To the green salt ♪ - The best recording of "Suzanne," in my mind, is the Nina Simone recording of "Suzanne." - Next up. - I would say it was the Alanis Morissette episode with Rob's friend, Suzanne. - Yeah, fair, fair criticism. - Rob's acquaintance. - Like, I could swear that, like, if you just, if you were playing five seconds of that, I wouldn't know if it's "White Room" or "Tales of Brutalistics," but.

[80:00]- Oh, 100%, 100%. SWLABR, which of course stands for "She Walks Like a Bearded Rainbow." - It's also one that looks like a '90s R&B band, for sure. It's like, oh, yeah, they were, they must have been with, like, Black and 702 and SWV. - This looked to me like a advanced baseball statistic. - Ooh, that's good, too. - It's true. Hey, what's your S-S-S-W-L-A-B-R? - Oh, it's like .05. - Oh, wow. - That's unbelievable. - That's just a replacement.

[80:30]- Guys, these songs are good. When they're rockin', these songs are great. - This all reminds me of, like, "Jesus Crow Superstar." - Yes. - It's so, like, what, when was this recorded, early '70s? - Yeah, this was, no, this was '60, this was '67. - Wow. - Yeah. - Wow. - I mean, this is-- - '67, that's crazy, the same year as "Sergeant Peppers." I mean, that's kinda wild. - That is, we're going wrong. This is a 6/8 time. You guys know I like these weird key changes. Or, what do you call it, Aaron?

[81:02]- Time signatures? - Time signatures, okay, let's edit that. And Ginger Baker's playing with timpani mallets. Aaron, I was reading this, this was in a super high-pitched head voice, not falsetto. What's the difference? - Um, I don't know that I could explain it, really, but it's, there's a break in your voice as a man where you go from head voice to falsetto, and falsetto would be like Eddie Kendrick's

[81:31]of "The Temptations." - ♪ Keep on truckin', baby ♪ - Yeah, there you go, Rob. And, like, Prince used falsetto a lot, too. Like, way up high. I don't really know if I could think of a good example of high head voice, but-- - Well, how about this? - Yeah, it's like singing at the top of your voice without going into-- - Just have Rob play that, uh, "The Foot" song again. - Oh, come on. - He's gonna do a high head voice right there. - I was doing my best, my best Jack Brewster in the whole thing. - I think it had a better title than "The Foot" song, too, Matt. - Uh, actually, let me actually go back

[82:02]and look what that song was called. Uh, "Foot Man," okay? That was "Foot Man," I think is what you're talking about. - Uh, I did one where I was like, "Aaron Loves Feet," and it was like, "No, you already have a file named this." And I was like, "Hmm, that's strange. "I've already done a song called that." - "Aaron Loves Feet 1" in parentheses. - All right, "Outside Woman Blues." This is a song originally done by Blind Joel Reynolds, who I'm sure had a great life. - Oh, God.

[82:30]- What? A blues singer named Blind Joel Reynolds? He's probably like, ♪ My life is great, I went to ♪ ♪ The Dominican Republic with my baby ♪ ♪ Her phone was fine ♪ - I was reading that Eric Clapton was a member of, like, nine bands. That's like, you know, I know these songs as Clapton songs, but I never know the names of the bands that he's playing. Like, Layla is like Derrick and the Dominoes or something. Is that right? - Yeah, yeah. - But I just know them all as Clapton songs, but... - Because we had so many Clapton's greatest hit CDs.

[83:00]That's all I know them from. - And so, one of the bands he was with before Cream, I believe, was the Yardbirds, right? - Yep. - And so he's with the Yardbirds, and he's not getting along with, like, the bass player. They're going in a direction they don't want him to go. They have a song, like a single, where he's not even really on it. So he quits the Yardbirds, and he suggests that they go hire Jimmy Page. Jimmy Page is a session musician. They want to hire Jimmy Page. He says, "No, I'm making too good of money "as a session musician. "I'm not going to do it."

[83:30]But he recommends another guy to join him. It's Jeff Beck. - Yep. - So they hire Jeff Beck. - Whoa. - He's the bass player for the Yardbirds. They have a bunch of hits. Rob, I think I gave you one. I'm not sure if I did or not. - Yeah, sure. - The song is, I think it's "Heart Full of Soul." Check this out. Check this out. - I know this song. - This is so good. - Yeah. - I wish they had the guy singing over it, though, like,

[84:01]♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ - So then, then, they have this hit with Jeff Beck. Then the bass player finally quits. Then they go hire Jimmy Page. So they've got Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, in the band. Then Jeff Beck eventually gets fired. But I gotta say, when it comes to replacing Eric Clapton and the Yardbirds, who did it better? - Beck did it better. - Russell, that was so good. I gotta say, eventually, if you're Clapton and you have like nine bands, it's kind of like Jenny in college.

[84:30]She had like, I think she easily had 15 roommates. And I'm like-- - I was terrified of what you were going to say there. - At some point. - I was there. - I know, there was-- - At some point, the problem might not be-- - Organ players and all sorts of other things. - There's only one organ player. - At some-- - Oh, boy. - Matt said it first. - At some point. At some point. - I love how Rob's so offended, even though he's done five songs today about Aaron's P. Sean for feet. - Yeah. - At some point.

[85:00]- What were we even talking about? - Oh, at some point, the problem is not your roommates. You know what I mean? The problem is you, Eric Clapton. The problem is you. You know what, Eric Clapton? The problem is you. Probably because, okay, you like to boss people around, Eric Clapton, okay? You make them do stuff when they're just trying to relax and play Xbox. They've been working all damn day. And when they left, you were on the couch reading a book. No, I have to come home and make dinner? You've been on the couch all day. How come I have to do everything, Eric Clapton? Oh, I do the dishes.

[85:30]Yeah, we have a machine, Eric Clapton. You don't actually have to go down to the river and wash the damn dishes. You put them in the machine. That doesn't count. I cook dinners almost every night, Eric Clapton. That doesn't count for anything? Oh, and you got to go to bed early every night. Oh, oh, oh, I got to go to bed. Oh, what a huge surprise. Tonight again, you got to go to bed early. Oh, what a big surprise. Somebody's got a podcast, Eric Clapton. Then you're going to bed whenever you want. I'm going to join Derek and the Dominoes. Fuck this place. - He's the greatest friend, greatest friend ever.

[86:00]- Oh my God. - Did you hear that James Harden's on the Clippers? Now he demanded a trade out of, did you hear that? There's some TV analyst that went off, almost the exact same rant that Rob just did. - Yeah, I wish I had this. - Yeah, eventually you're going to have to just look in the mirror and realize it's not everybody else. It's you James, it's you. - Yeah, actually a lot, Eric Clapton, a lot of people like hanging out with me. They like it when I talk to them. They think I'm funny and cool. Okay. And oh, how about this?

[86:30]Maybe Eric Clapton asked me about my day when I get home. Okay. So yeah, guess what, Eric Clapton? I forgot to wake up the kid for early math. I noticed you were also up at the same time and you actually knew about it. Oh, but I guess Eric Clapton, that's my fault. Okay. - Yeah, maybe, maybe don't make me sleep on the side of the bed next to the bathroom. When you're the one that gets up and goes to the bathroom all night. - Oh, Eric Clapton, I was supposed to install safety things on your windows? All right. - Oh yeah, I'll go to the crappy,

[87:02]the crappy hour with no pizza while you stay at our house with plenty of food. - Oh, no, I love to shower downstairs. Oh, let me wake up and walk downstairs. I noticed you don't do that. All right. Matt's giving a big thumbs up to that one. All right, take it back. This was about a draft card, they said. And I was like, aren't you guys British? - Right. - Were they drafted? I don't know. I assumed all British people, all they had to do is stand outside the palace

[87:31]with those big hats on for a couple of years. And that was kind of like their service. Oh, I'm in the military. Oh, what do you do? I stand real still. Oh yeah, I wonder why America's number fucking one. You pieces of shit. No wonder. Hey guys, line up and stand real still. Oh, is this the same British that decided to wear big red coats and stand in a line so George Washington could blast their ass back to kingdom come? - Look at that musket ball, dummies. - You know, Rob, if you go and, if you read some history about English colonialism and their reach across the entire world

[88:01]and what their armies did to different regions. And, you know, still have some lasting effects these days. You know, yeah, they've got quite the army, quite the history. - My grandpa was good at high school football. They didn't fucking pass the ball, okay? That time is done, okay? Old British, you're like my grandpa in football for some reason. And I can't remember why, how I made that connection. All right, let's move on. - Oh no. - Let's move on. - All the way off the rails. - Mothers, well, that's like my dad. My grandpa was like a World War II vet.

[88:30]I was like, oh, what'd you do? He's like, oh, I was a doctor in Iceland. I'm like, what? He was like, yeah, I said, what's this medal from that you have? And he goes, oh, we won a baseball tournament. And I was like, okay. He was like, why are you wearing my uniform around? It's Veterans Day. Why are you trying to get a discount on a Dairy Queen? Yeah, I want the Banana Split Blizzard for free. I'm a vet, okay? Oh, is your dog sick?

[89:00]No, not that kind of vet, you idiot. Okay, I stand in front of this building and I'm very still. All right, Mothers Lament. Oh, God, I'm not playing this song. This sucks so much balls. This is the worst ending. Anytime we thought a song was a bad ending, it's not even close to the ending of this album. This is terrible. - So do the Beatles have albums before this where they've got the weird endings, or does this come before the Beatles' weird endings? - Same here as Sgt. Pepper. - Contemporaneous, yeah. - You know, it's weird though, Russell, that you mention.

[89:34]The Beatles, because I'll tell you what. - There can't be. There can't be another one. - And maybe this, I was gonna say this till after, and I realized it might not be that good of a way to end the show, so I better play it now. Actually, Russell, this is a live version where the Beatles were playing on guitar, and maybe the Beatles realized they couldn't play the song as well as they thought they could, and this was actually a big waste of time. But let's listen. Do you guys wanna hear the new Beatles song that just came out, Russell? - Yeah. - Well, it doesn't matter what you want,

[90:00]'cause we're gonna listen to it anyways. Here we go, let me turn up the volume all the way. Here we go. - Wait, is this Rob playing guitar? ♪ Aaron wants me to get it right ♪ - Get it right. ♪ He is not just your average guy ♪ ♪ Oh my, my ♪ ♪ He thinks seeing feet is just the greatest pride ♪ - You made so many songs about me and feet this week.

[90:32]- The Beatles. - I did not realize that, these are, they didn't take you. Like, was it the fourth one, Aaron, that realized it? - I finally got it, I caught on. But are you playing guitar on this, Rob? - No, the Beatles are. ♪ Aaron looks and he says, "Aye" ♪ - The Beatles. ♪ When he sees a pretty pair of feet ♪ ♪ Even his wives ♪ ♪ They are the things that make him hard as concrete ♪

[91:02]- Oh, wow. ♪ Aaron's a foot guy ♪ ♪ Aaron's a foot guy ♪ - Oh, all right. ♪ A couple of toes is what he likes to spy ♪ - Oh, okay, so there's some editing issues there. - You spent so much time thinking about me and feet. But really, is that you playing, come on, tell the truth. Can you play Blackbird on guitar?

[91:30]- Yeah, of course I can. - I'm not gonna let this go. - Of course I can. - Sounds great. - Okay, let me just play another. Here, I'll show you another song I can play guitar. Here we go, baby. Oh yeah, this sounds very similar. Let's get into the rating system. Oh God, volume is still up. ♪ Now it's time for everybody's favorite song ♪ - Aaron, I promise I don't have any more songs about you and feet. ♪ Very popular ♪ - Oh, wow. ♪ Did it better rating system ♪ - The band next week is like The Toes. I'm like, oh no, don't do it.

[92:01]- What can I do? - Listen, rolling well-toned. Rolling bone or rolling. - Grown, okay? We've got a special new grown on the grown. We've got a special new grown. That's a Russell grown coming at you. Okay, and I can play that any time. - Grown off. - All right, so we've got the Russell grown, so. - Grown off. - That's a grown off. Hey, I just cutting that and I could play it whenever I want, okay? It helps me not come. All right, so edit that out, but it's funny.

[92:31]Listen. Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling. - Ugh. - Is this, does this belong- - Rob, I'm gonna warn you. I think you've exhausted Aaron and Matt. Both of them are just staring at you. They're not laughing. - I thought they were- - I'm here, man. I'm, Matt's not even sitting up straight anymore. - I'm vibing, man. I'm right here. - Well, Russell, I was trying to get through this before you interrupted. - That was a lot of groans. - Up to album 170, okay? Does this belong at 170? Disraeli Greer by Cream. Plus side, great guitar work.

[93:00]Downside, the singing animal. And some of the songs, okay? What do we think? - Real British. - Aaron, rolling well-toned, does it belong at 170? Rolling bone, it should be higher on the list, which of course is a lower number. We would have heard it earlier, okay? Or does this, a rolling groan, it should not be here. It should be lower on the list. Aaron, what do you think about Disraeli Gears? - Hard for me to say. Very important album. You have to have these three guys on the list somewhere, I think.

[93:30]I'm a little bit biased because I do know that this album is very influential for Funkadelic. It's not one I'm gonna go back to and listen to, start to finish, again, because of some of the skippers, and it's just too British for me, but you gotta have it somewhere, so I'm just gonna give it a rolling well-toned. - All right, this, oh, I almost did mine. Russell, what do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan? - I kinda went back and forth on this. There was one point on the baseball analytics song, "SW Labor," or whatever it was,

[94:00]where I said, "This has to be higher on the list." Yeah, that "Brave Ulysses," once I got into it, was awesome. "The Sunshine of Your Love" is such an epic song. Like, we would listen to so many albums that don't have anything that comes close to that, but for some of this stuff, it just wasn't for me, and when you got to the end, I've kind of reached the point with these albums, when I get to the end, this came up on Billy Joel. Do I wanna put the album and spin it again, or do I wanna move on to something else? And I think when I'm done with this one, I wanna move on to something else, so I'm gonna say it's rolling well-toned. I think it probably belongs about right here,

[94:31]but I'm not gonna put it any higher. Matt, what do you think? Ginger Baker, Jack-- - I-- - Oh. What do you think? - I go along with "Russell," or do I wanna listen to it again? And after "Song 2," I give it a big Russell rolling groan. This should be way down the list compared to some of the stuff that's coming up. I mean, you know, the fact that it was made in 1967, I guess I didn't realize that until today, probably gets it a little bit more credit for me. I thought it was maybe more early '70s than '67,

[95:02]so I can see where it's influential, but I will not come back to this again. Too British. I don't know, I don't think it holds up other than some of the guitar playing that influenced everybody else, so I'll give it a big Russell rolling groan. - And I'd like to say this-- - Should be lower on the list, higher on the list. - To our British veterans who have stood in front of so many buildings, and they stood so still, okay?

[95:30]People were trying to get them to leave, trying to get them to move, and they wouldn't do it. Not even for a... Think of British food, Bangerz and Mash. - Thank you for your service. - I used to watch Bangerz and Mash on USA with the... - Oop! - All night. - That guy from Miami Vice. All right, listen. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect, okay? - Couldn't be. - Are you gonna react or talk? This song gets a rolling clap tone.

[96:01]- Okay, this is the only-- - Did he not hear me? - Yeah, this is the only clap tone on the list, guys. Eric Clapton is the best example. Oh, that was for a voicemail that's coming next week. Okay, I'll say it right now. It was the best example of something I loved when I was younger, but I'm grossed out by now. Eric Clapton, instead of "The Tale of Brave Ulysses," try "The Tale of Brave U-Lick-Dees." - U-Lick-Dees? - Yeah, U-Lick-Dees nuts. Next up.

[96:30]- That's a good philosophy. - Just bad Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton, for some reason. Next up, another example of youth being wasted on the young. This band was so fast that they were able to beat Dr. Robotnik. It's Sonic Youth with Daydream Nation. ♪ When you wanna hear about the greatest albums of all time ♪ ♪ But you're just too lazy to look it up online ♪ - I wish I had one more song about Aaron Speed, but I don't. ♪ If you wanna hear from guys who try ♪ - We all do, really. I think I speak for the whole world.

[97:00]- I know. - I don't think. ♪ I got a birthday party for you ♪ - Instead, I was hanging out with my family, and I was like, "Beck did it." I'm hanging out with my family, but I really wanna be making songs about how much Aaron loves Speed. And I had to force myself to hang out with my family instead of making that song. - I thought for sure Aaron was gonna say that album was a crappy hour, and that album, "Cream Did Not Rise to the Top," and it should be considered a rolling bone song. - Oh, bone song is ready. - Bone song is ready. - Bone song is ready.

[97:31]♪ I'm gonna tell you goodbye ♪ ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ - Murphy. - Did I really make fun of my grandpa going to war? Oh, no. I mean, you didn't even see the theater. No wonder you've got a milk man, right? - Oh.