D’Angelo: Brown Sugar (1995)

[00:00]Guys, I feel like someone's standing, right? She's wearing a Macho Man sweatshirt. Yeah, I've never seen her awake this late. What is going on? This is really bad. No, John's not here. Don't ask about John. They're really mad. I know. I thought it was a good idea, too. She didn't say that. Are you asking me why it smells out here? I'm on the podcast. Stop embarrassing me.

[00:30]Did you wake her up? You're in trouble, dude. Stop saying it smells so bad. Get out of here. You're fucked. You're sleeping on the curb tonight. No, she hasn't gone to bed, Aaron. Wow. What's the deal? Oh, wow. I'm going to touch her blood with a hot copper thing like in the movie The Thing and see if she's the alien that's taken over her body because I'm pretty sure this is very... Oh, she just showed up again. What? Yeah, I'm telling them you're awake.

[01:00]Oh, no, please. We cannot get into why you're awake. I'm begging you. Please. Okay. Seems important. Seems important. It doesn't. I'll talk to you guys about it. Is it time to bench? Is it time to bench? We're not... I'm not talking about that on a comedy podcast. I will talk about it. After. It's an after podcast. Who could have tried to hold that? It's really not a comedy podcast. This is all just drivel. It's a drivel podcast. He's like, oh, you should tell my mom. Yeah.

[01:30]Tell us, Rob. What are you going to not tell us? Amelia had a swim coach. She has a swim coach who punished her for doing... And she had to do an hour of lunges around the pool. Okay. And that... So Jenny and I are now officially furious. And Jenny has crafted a letter. Now, I'm going to show you guys this letter. Why are you furious? Okay. She went to swim practice and he's like, do four laps around the pool doing lunges. What? Because she was late.

[02:01]Well, you got to abide by the rules. Don't say that, Rob. And then... She left five minutes earlier. She... Hang on. Can you open that gambling folder too? Can we just... So here's the thing is that then he said, well, that four laps wasn't good. Do it again. And he kept doing that for 50 minutes and then let her swim for three. And then she had to get out at the end. So it was just like... And then go to dry land. And then go to dry land training. It's very strange. It's like... So I was like, well, this is not appropriate.

[02:31]So Jenny writes a letter. Jenny says, I'm going to write a letter to the board. Oh, my God. I'm going to show you guys this letter. Ready? Hey, as someone who... Oh, my God. Oh, that's... You cannot write a letter this long. That's a very... Oh, no. Look at this. It has references. Footnotes. Any message that cannot be conveyed in like a paragraph. Oh, hang on. There's references. You cannot send that. You cannot send that. Are we referencing peer-reviewed studies in here? Well, if you notice, I also signed this letter. So it's kind of like... You're a part of it. Well, yeah.

[03:00]I just want to know what... So we're referencing like research? Guys, I don't... I love it. I'm telling you I don't want to talk about this. I'm telling her I don't want to talk about this. I'm telling everybody. This is coming from Rob, who's a teacher. Too late talking about it. Is the best. Yeah. Rob, that's why you get a letter like this. You just got to eat shit. Oh, trust me. This happens all the time. That's the thing is I was like, listen, he got in trouble. He's not going to do it again. Trust me. As a teacher who has screwed stuff up before, even if you say like, oh, it's not my fault, you just don't do it again. So it's fine. Oh, yeah.

[03:30]Then Jenny went to practice. Jenny went to practice the next day. Jenny. Okay. You got to go. Jenny went to practice the next day. I didn't push her. I just was putting my hand out to see where she was. Why are you making her do lunges around the apartment, Rob? That's fucked up. Yeah. I'm not making Jenny do lunges around the apartment. You just told her to do lunges all around the apartment. She just wants to bench. And you told her that wasn't enough lunges. I'm doing lunges all the time around the apartment too. Wait, did you guys say lungeables?

[04:01]Oh, my God. I got to do an hour of lungeables. Can you imagine? You would not believe how slimy these ham patties are. Charcuterie board in a box. I got the pizza lungeable. My parents. Oh, my God. My son loves those. And they're so gross. It's so gross. What the fuck is in that sauce? All right. Where were we? Are we? Did I even start this yet? Is this a podcast? In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest, 500 albums. Last week's episode wasn't drivel.

[04:30]This week's will be. It's all getting edited out. We're shooting for a one-star review, Dad, this week. We're trying to get there. But it's a one-star like the Michelin star. Like, if you get one, you're doing great. Hey, guys. To me, we're four stars. Equally important to this podcast. Okay? Let's bring it in. Let's put our hands in and let's say team. And break. Even with the fingers up. Okay? Which was an ET bit that John and I did, Aaron, if you listened. It went over pretty well, actually. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest,

[05:00]500 albums, as decided by Rolling Stone Magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to make this podcast. I do feel like in the movies, you know, where you're dating two women at once, and one of them thinks you have a mustache. Because I'm thinking of bits that John and I did. I'm like, I can't do those bits with these guys. It'd be like. It's like if one of us brought you a burrito, but John brought you a different burrito. Oh. Who would I pick? I mean, yeah. I think you made this joke last week, but it's like, oh. I got that from the Peloton. You don't have like four episodes in the bank with him already, do you?

[05:33]No. Okay. No. Although when he did pick the Humpty Dance, I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. This is not a good start for us. We are far from experts. Hey, I need to make something clear. Oh, okay. Yes. Any issues that anyone on this podcast has with the Rob and John show are not with John. John has done nothing but be a great listener to this podcast.

[06:02]Jumped in with ass. I need to make clear. John is amazing. Can I tell somebody? Can I tell somebody, you guys, this is a safe space? Hear, hear. Hear, hear. Harumph. Harumph. John pointed a gun at me and made me do that podcast. Okay. I didn't want to have to say that, but I had no choice in the matter. Okay. And then he made me edit it and add some sound effects after to make it funny. Make a couple of parody songs.

[06:30]That's intense. Are you okay? No, actually, I don't know if I'll ever recover. Okay. I'm glad I'm back here with you guys where I'm not stuck here forever by gun or any other reason. What's that? Oh, my espresso. Well, thank you. All right. Keep those lunges nice and low, please. All right. We are far from experts. We're having to do almost all opinions. Knees over toes. But not past the toes. Please sit back and enjoy.

[07:01]Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 183. God, what a bullshit exercise, too. Like, lunges have no good purpose. Like, they're truly just a torture. I don't know, man. No, it's bad. We're up to album 183. My God, one is so hungry. I get it. It's not. Don't, please. It's so bad. I get it. It's there. There's something there. And we are talking about Brown Sugar by D'Angelo.

[07:30]And guys, can I just tell you right now, let's turn on the radio and let's listen to a song that my sweet wife described as, why are you singing that way? You should be singing in your range. And she kept saying it over and over and over and giving me singing feedback. Now, of course, you know me. I listen. When I get feedback, I take it in. Okay. I kind of roll it around. I sit with it for a little bit. And I told her, one thing about you. Is that you're a terrible singer. Don't ever give me advice on singing again.

[08:00]So this went well. Sounds like she may come from a family that has perfect pitch. Yeah, she might. That whole family has perfect pitch? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. They all are. They all are great singers. Breathe, Russell. Breathe. Breathe. Stop laughing. Breathe. One thing we know they're known for. I remember during Christmas, we'd all gather around the piano. Okay. And say, hey, can you turn on the TV? We're gathered around the piano. All right. Let's get in.

[08:31]Let's turn on the radio. I actually, Rob, went to a Christmas like that once. But unfortunately, I ate a bunch of Buffalo Wild Wings at the airport the day before. So I wasn't able to hang out around the piano for the next couple days. My wife gave me that salad. That's why I got sick. It's not my fault. Okay? Made me feel terrible. It wasn't the 40 Buffalo Wild Wings. She's doing the Mike Johnson back there. It wasn't the Buffalo Wild Wings we ate later. It's like watching the State of the Union. It's so uncomfortable watching her just hover right next to me. Let's see what we're doing with this. Well, I had this salad.

[09:00]I better go eat 40 Buffalo Wings now. That makes sense to me. And it's not a sign of some weird thing I have. Can you imagine? You are on a plane, and you see a guy just housing 40 Buffalo Wings in the airport, along with more fries than you should possibly give a person. And then you just go in the airplane, and you're walking out, and there's one empty seat. It's next to that guy who you just saw eat a bunch of Buffalo Wild Wings. You'd be like, oh, no. This is going to be a disaster, and I'm on the aisle. I'm going to have to get up.

[09:30]Lady on the plane. I'm going to share some more plane stories with you guys coming up. But lady on the plane, I'm going to, I think it was Charlotte, for my connecting flight to Savannah. Lady on the plane gets on, sitting next to me. Full-on box of a hot quesadilla with, like, multiple toppings. Oh, yeah. So she's, like, dipping the quesadilla in the sour cream. I was like, you've got to be shitting me. From Chili's, you think? It's got to be from Chili's. Listen, we can't be bringing Mexican food on the airplane.

[10:00]I'm just going to say that right now. But isn't it one of those, like, real heavy cheese quesadillas where you're like, whoa, like, they could have done half the cheese on this thing, and it still would have been fine? Aaron, shut up. She didn't let me figure that part out. That's awesome. That's a quesadilla Jesus would have eaten. It's perfect. You could have a fork and knife, sure, but not to take on the plane. Oh, no. I would love a big cheesy. Push the stewardess button. My quesadilla is so cheesy. Please help me. Let's plug our headphones into the plane. Let's turn it to the station. Let's turn it to the station and listen to what comes on on the plane. Maybe that's our hope now, we get on a plane somewhere.

[10:31]Here we go. What's up, everybody? Welcome to K-Rob. No, I meant, what's up? What were you guys talking about? I'm sorry. I wasn't really listening to you back there. I was trying to think of a joke. Sometimes they think that Rob isn't listening. Just because he doesn't respond to what they're saying.

[11:08]But I promise I'm trying to get better. I will listen and I'll understand. Okay, maybe I can see where she's going. I won't be distracted all the time. Just because I'm thinking of my next line.

[11:32]But now Rob will do this today. He'll hear what they have to say. Oh yeah, Rob will be listening better. It comes as no surprise. Rob often ignores all the guys. Oh yeah, tonight Rob is listening better. All right, guys, beautiful, that's nice.

[12:00]Two things I can tell you about the D'Angelo album. It's going to be a clean episode. I'm going to listen to you guys. Oh yeah, all of it, all of it. If you want to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track. I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Beck did it better. Ah, my favorite podcast theme song. Let's get into Brown Sugar by D'Angelo. This is Beck Did It Better. I've got three guys here who keep wondering why their sugar gets browner as they get older.

[12:33]Oh, I wish I wouldn't. I've got Russell in Minnesota. Russell, how are you doing? This is my hard reaction. Rob, after that night in Vegas, my eyes were a shade of blood burgundy. But the way we kissed was unlike any other way. Yep. At 2:00 p.m. when you came down. No, it was 5:00, 5:30, 5:38 p.m. I knew it was bad because Dave came out. He's like, God damn, this guy sleeps a lot.

[13:01]Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Great, Rob. Thanks for having me. Pleasure to be here. And I've got Aaron. Thanks for thinking of us. I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron recently was having some computer problems, guys. Aaron was having computer problems. And he said that he made his password St. Paul Hi-hat. St. Paul Hi-hat. And I said to Aaron, I said, why did you make your computer password St. Paul Hi-hat? And he said that it asked for a capital and a symbol. Capital and a symbol? St.

[13:30]Paul Hi-hat? Aaron out in Oakland. How are you doing, Aaron? Well, shit damn motherfucker. I'm going to stick out my tongue and hit this bitty-pitty-gritty with persistence. I don't think you'll hear me. Let's talk about D'Angelo. I'm sure that might have been filthy. Listen, I rock hard. I know I said it was going to be a clean episode, but I'm so hard after it. That was crazy. Aaron, that was so good. Listen, guys, we don't have time for this. Let's get into the voicemail. The Freaks on the Road. All right. All right. All right.

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[77:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[77:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[78:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[78:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[79:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[79:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[80:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[80:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[81:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[81:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[82:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[82:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[83:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[83:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[84:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[84:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[85:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[85:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[86:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[86:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[87:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[87:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[88:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[88:30]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

[89:00]All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Tell us anytime you're jerking that gurgling.