James Taylor: Sweet Baby James (1970)

[00:00]you know what guys let's let's get right into it today why why mess around i think you know what i mean it's robin john show the rob oh no i played that wrong this is the wrong way to go this is the wrong way i'm just gonna give you a warning this is not what you want to do the wrong intro well that's my bad and now you say that it wishes i would have maybe picked to some other parody songs for the next two episodes all right let's get into it in 2020 for you wish you would have actually taken russell's notes and done a best of show he just doubles down maybe you wish

[00:31]you listened to your mom 30 years ago not everything is a joke i i started too sorry i started playing that song and i saw three very stern faces looking back at me okay you guys ever think about all the work i'm pretty sure rob just deep dicked our podcast on us last week without us knowing about it i think that's that was my impression if you look at the numbers of downloads uh not many people are going to be able to download it uh not many people are going to that episode so i wouldn't worry too much about it and let's just say this let's just get out of

[01:00]the way russell aaron we cannot show rob the side text that we had oh no when we figured out that came out do not no one goes to our grave do i have to take the picture down on the dartboard or no i'm changing my phone number and burying my phone and i asked verizon i did the double extra delete of my data so so last week i did a what i thought would be a fun gift because you know what i wish i could do sometime listen to my podcast and be surprised by it i can never it's like pandora no it's like uh

[01:35]no no i can know how funny the podcast is or i can listen to the podcast but i can never do both rob here's a hint for you what's that called it it's it's our podcast which when did i say are not our podcast you just said it's my podcast i want to buy it's our our our podcast well i can't either see i am listening okay i'm working on it actually john was really good for that he helped

[02:01]me out a lot and you guys apologies go this is clinton ask depends on what the version of it is is i did not deep dick our podcast i categorically deny okay listen this is requiring us to get to the parody song right away i think it's gonna i think we're asking a lot of questions that the parody song is going to answer in 2024 friends decide to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in text chain that celebrated music excoriated the order and led

[02:32]us to make it this podcast you know it never occurred to me to not play the robin john sorrow right away as a joke it never even flashed through my brain that i that might be oh yeah we know i don't like this where you guys are big b look like a sociopath although it would line up with a lot of things actually in my life just a little bit yeah like oh why have i had so many co-workers i've had so many co-workers i've had so many co-workers in the last two years who work directly with me and they keep quitting every year after year that's so strange my marriage has been kind of just slowly going downhill i'm like

[03:02]i wonder what's changed with her yeah guys i'll tell you what though if i'm going to be the narcissist i'll be the best narcissist of all time uh actually technically you'd be the second best narcissist the first lex luger if you guys remember the narcissist transformed into the all-american who took on but never won the title from him but remember he had a bus it was called like the lex express

[03:30]and he drove the bus all the way across the country in the early 90s so he was the true narcissist that's beautiful i just need to go downtown can i take the lex local is that running right now i gotta transfer the five okay who would be the local the local would be like bob backland the bob backland logo wow stew hansen stopping everywhere by stan hansen yeah you're far from experts uh dodge uh dealer what okay what now aaron dodge iowa i got i got i got stew

[04:02]hansen and stan hansen confused stew hansen was stew hansen's dodge city stew hansen's dodge city smart place to go for your future yeah but i was thinking of stan hansen i think i think the most famous whatever is eastern motors you guys remember the eastern motors commercials they're like the out east commercials and it's got like carmelo anthony and all like nba players rapping about eastern motors where your job's your credit you guys haven't heard that one no let's pull it up we'll pull it up at the end of the show rob i'll remember it i i gotta hear that at eastern motors your job's your credit i i gave some i did some

[04:38]consulting for um who was it i want to say dennis heckersley but that's not the right name russ what's the joke i'm trying to make i consulted for a guy denny hecker denny hecker yeah i gave him some advice did not go well no okay so that put that you know what i'm putting that on the board if we're doing denny hecker fraud jokes this is like really inside

[05:00]look it up it's so good magic mike is saying what in the hell are you now i just won't i was like calling the star tribune i was like are you now you're saying that somebody who makes a living selling used cars is dishonest i will not stand for this sir okay i will not stand for this that's people that downloaded the rob and john show our car dealers uh we are far from experts we promise

[05:30]to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better we are all the way up to album 182 guys that feels like we're getting somewhere lord knows where we are it's right whiplash we have an album that your elderly neighbor definitely got laid to it's sweet baby james by james taylor imagine what the what the old lady who lives down the street from us is thinking while she's using my upstairs roommate's blender that she stole oh my god just thinking about back in her days with james taylor i was gonna say like i'm pretty sure rosie your parents listen to this

[06:06]i'm pretty sure my parents did so now rob just insulted all of our parents calling them elderly oh boy here we go right geez my parents aren't even 70 yet my parent my parents favorite band is lmfao they're always party rocking in my way of an apology can i just say here is my apology to you guys okay i went out and i tried some stuff and it turns out it wasn't it was fun okay i'm just gonna say

[06:34]that i did have a good time all right there were some things that were nice about it all right okay but i realized okay there's no place like home so i'm back okay so please just accept me and don't worry about it rob just for the record you are gonna have to wear a condom for all episodes going over now yep you're gonna have to wear a condom for all episodes going over now that's so weird because he said no do not know where john from edina has been no we don't okay and i'll tell you what you should hear

[07:06]what i had to edit out at the end i'll play the raw files sometimes what he thinks happens after the show i said john tell a joke and he told three of the jokes that made my hair stand up i was like are you serious i can't use any of these jokes in the podcast forget about it anyway let's you know what i'm so bored let's let's turn on this screen and we'll be right back crank radio and you're bored all right oh you're bored maybe you gotta go out and entertain yourself oh i'm so sorry you're bored rob just had a deep exhale did you see right he just did

[07:34]like a deep exhale yeah this is gonna be rough i can already tell okay the gang's against me but i gotta ask what would michael jackson and the subway station do okay and he would dance his way out of the gang fight all right immediately hit with a battle oh no all right here we go let's turn on the radio what's up everybody welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b you know sometimes you don't realize

[08:04]what you have until you don't have it but now it's back oh yeah last tuesday morning there was a podcast with john suzanne couldn't make it but she wanted to i love it when we were done recording john said i know what was wrong there was no aaron here to laugh at you

[08:32]recording without aaron is kind of lame there was no one here talking about their breakfast this weekend turns out on aaron's laughter is what i depend but it was nice to record at six 30 p.m when i talked about people doing 69 sounded kind of bland

[09:07]i couldn't make fun of anything john had to say i need someone on here who can laugh at my jokes on demand and plus i can't imagine what aaron would order at burger king i can't wait to hear about his favorite coffee blend

[09:37]and i never want to leave behind a friend next time i'll do robin john and aaron oh i'm not sure if that's helping so is this what you decided to do i don't know so rob kind of had these comments but all it was really tough he goes some of the the texts i saw this week were it was really tough doing a two-person show and it was really hard doing it without aaron we needed aaron to make it good i was like matt what have we ever done wrong in this world

[10:16]as i told yoko i mean john i mean yoko as i told him i said i've been i have been pushing for years now to have him fill in for me and he can just take over my spot but again russell

[10:30]yep i mean even aaron you you could just you've got a laugh track for aaron rob go ahead and play the laugh track i mean it's right there i don't you got it right there i deleted the fact that you're cutting out russell of all people the russell the guy who makes this thing run the father of the podcast yeah well okay no it's insulting okay so last week i honestly thought you guys would enjoy a podcast that was like i don't know a parody of the podcast kind of okay and it turns out i'm serious it was hard to do okay i'm not lying i miss each and every one of you guys

[11:06]you got a rough life rob very difficult it's not easy it's not easy okay i salute we salute you yeah we salute you over here do you know what happens when you record at 6 30 jenny hears what you're saying and it turns out i'm saying a lot of stuff she does not agree with wife swap what you know i mean it's like okay wait for my kid i think she should hear you right

[11:31]look jenny does i oh it's true she is same look tell me about it i don't like it oh it's terrifying so listen guys i'm i'm so happy to have you back okay i'm sorry i did that podcast really they are grouchy about it they are not these people they don't appreciate i mean i'm not worried i didn't ram was a good album okay i'm gonna say that ram was a good album do you know what i'm saying like sometimes you could just kind of do a thing and come back and it's actually fine ram is pretty good that's true i do appreciate you

[12:03]guys did did do a good job you did give me a shout out when you called back you guys talked about um what's the humpty dance yeah and you did you did talk about when i brought that song up on the list once on this podcast before right mm-hmm oh god i was i did i didn't do a lot of research oh my god why did you bring up the humpty dance again russell

[12:31]we don't need to bring it up now i figured you guys would cover it in like an extended episode i'm guessing rob russell you've got your copious you could probably tell us right now right i mean within like 13 seconds you could tell us which episode because you keep copious notes and you know like if we ever need it we'll tell you which episode it is and if we ever need it we'll tell like a best of i mean you just you list out oh this will probably be good for the best of before we go to any of the notes right on all episodes so oh listen in fact right in front of her face

[13:00]i turns out it was a quick google search the clash songs when we did that clash album god i remember going over the humpty dance russell for sure okay that's a humpty dance on the clash that's that is wild by the way i wouldn't that would have been my last guess i can't yeah that's guys i love you you know that i'm happy you're back okay i am sorry i thought i honestly thought you would kind of be thrilled i texted you i said oh i think john's gonna really like this best of i think it'd be fun i thought it would be a fun thing you guys are

[13:30]i was gonna say wrong but i realize that's not what i'm going for you are right okay to be mad at me i apologize the dumbest of the dumb okay i cannot promise i won't do it again though because it makes for good content it was very hard to record without you guys i realized that i should not be talking as much as i do because i was like john and i would just get done talking we'd look at each other and be like we feel for you rob and we're here we're here tonight i am so happy i told you guys i texted you guys what did i text you guys today i said i'm psyched to see you guys tonight i said i'm very excited i did i got

[14:01]hyped felt like a mini vegas trip how many uh responses did you get back to that text i i was in i didn't look oh you did okay i did i was in i didn't look i responded okay i'm that guys i'm trying okay i'm trying to be a better person it's tough though i've got three guys here who will finally quit asking me when will there be a version of oh suzanna on this list nice tonight's the night made it okay tonight is the night uh definitely

[14:34]not a guy with a drug problem coming up with the album songs he's like i don't know suzanna i gotta get out of here i gotta i'm busy uh i've got uh matt minneapolis matt okay and let's put a smile on your face how are we doing tonight matt oh just just great rob just thanks for having me really appreciate you letting us partake tonight this is really nice of you oh this is chilly as if the first three and a half years of us spending three hours a weekend

[15:02]together wasn't enough to confirm our commitment rob huh i was i was here i was i'd like to point that out but i've got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing tonight guys i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend but i always thought i'd record this podcast again until rob replaced aaron matt and i with john last week you know what john kind of replaced me and i replace you guys does that make you feel better

[15:31]it's when i started i was like this might be better and then i ended up like that was not better i should not i don't think it matters who's on top and who's on bottom here it just feels like i don't know if you walked in aaron it might matter you cannot see certain things honey i just want to say to you i you you cheated on me with rob and that hurts but the position i found you in is what really hurts honestly because i did not like what the way i came in and found that

[16:01]not great i felt like anthony mason staring deep into your asshole oh i had a i had a camera and a mirror all set up uh listen i've got aaron out in california now aaron aaron unfortunately couldn't make it last week because he was a little he was a little bit of trouble because his kid burned down part of the school he goes so he burned down part of the school aaron heard about it ran there came to the school you know the cops had the kid and the cops

[16:34]turned aaron to go well it was arson aaron goes oh thank god i thought it was mine that's a good joke that's pretty good thank you like i hope we're not giving you a steamroller tonight i'm not sure i struggle with this one let's talk about james taylor that sounds gross and now the bit i have for voicemail also seems to be very bad after what we just went through no no what we just went through this is yeah like well i assume this

[17:01]hurts you as much as it hurts me i have a prediction of what this will be i'm gonna write it down uh all right here we go it's actually we it's a bit of a two-parter it's a bit of a two-parter so i got this picture on the back line my stocking game is off by a month and it is magic mike writing in saying my stocking game is off by a month he is at the carnival court he is at the carnival court right now that's awesome that's the best photo of carnival court i've ever seen it makes carnival court look exactly what it looks like

[17:30]which is gorgeous wonderful i went i honestly when he sent it to me i was like i wish i was there right now i think i was at like my kids middle school graduation or something i was like oh god i'd love to be a carnival court right now the memories that there has to be like a a 50 51 chance that he wasn't hanging out in vegas or down the strip and he just went out of his way just to send us that right yeah like he walked like a mile he was staying up at like new york new york he's like i'm gonna go he's a big sphere guy so i mean he's a good mile away so depending

[18:01]on that was my nickname in high school unfortunately the big big sphere guy it's a it's a medical condition it's better than being the little sphere guy right that's very true or the big little sphere guy no the big little sphere guy the big little sphere big and little russ remember that joke from two weeks ago god we had a good time then oh we had a nice time this is russell what would you do on a date like this where you're just

[18:32]getting blasted on all sides like what do you do do you just like pretend like your computer got stolen and you drive away or what what was just going really bad or what yeah yeah yeah what was your did you ever have to make like a gracious exit what was your move if you ever had to do that no i always do that i always tried to have fun i never i never i had friends who have told me about how they've done like the fake phone call that they've left dates they've walked out on people they've i would never do that i try to make the most of it except for the one lady when she kept asking me about german spousal support laws that one got a little weird whoa is that real yes no this is a story we have

[19:06]not heard yet yes russ was it could be nine husband we went and got brunch at lush which is kind of a cool it's like a they do like drag bingo and stuff like that but we just got we went and got brunch there and immediately like within five minutes you could just tell she wasn't into me and there was no connection and she she knew i was an attorney and we got like five ten minutes in and she immediately started asking me about what i

[19:30]thought was fair compensation for people who have been divorced and lived in germany for a while and so she had lived with her ex-husband in germany and so we talked about how i didn't know anything about german spousal support laws for about 40 minutes before the date ended wow it was one of the few dates where we walked out and we both just kind of said there was there was like not even like a like a handshake there was like a nothing it was just like a both walked the other way well at that point like unless he and this is this was i don't know how long ago this was in your life for us so like at least one to two weeks ago probably

[20:02]it had to be more than eight to nine months ago that's all i know uh you probably weren't gonna like call another date at that moment right so your choices were like hang out see how this goes and then you're like oh my god i'm gonna go to germany and then this goes i'm out maybe maybe the food and drinks are good so you're gonna stick with it because your other option is like we'll call it and then what are you are you do you have the audacity to think that i never had more than one online date in the same day oh no i know you did but it does require some planning to make it happen no no of course of course but you really

[20:33]did you couldn't necessarily have done it like on the you know like oh this one's not going well i'm gonna just hook up another one you know you would plan more than one in a day russell isn't that like didn't didn't i tell you guys the one time where i used to have the notes and i would keep it in my uh my uh first one takes off land flight visit nine my game just rewind like that's not russell does it we might need to delete all this let me get a cd down from your uh visor no don't look up there what's this lisa equals big

[21:03]boobs no what kind of notes are these no no no moving along did you play your parody yet uh yes i was very good and everybody loved it we're on to our second it wasn't the best for the so our second voicemail comes in form of a this is just why podcast review we got our podcast review and it

[21:30]is a two star it is not good we got our first truly negative podcast review hold on is that like michelin stars where two is like pretty good i think so like getting a star at all is like hey you did the thing and i know i think one is the lowest i think you have to go one you can't go zero on this listen okay two stars uh from somebody by the way i tried to friend on instagram from the account so we'll see if he responds because i want to see what he says about this it's better i have to say this this doesn't this review doesn't make me mad when i first read

[22:00]it of course i was furious okay i was flat out furious i don't want any feedback how dare somebody criticize what i do unless you're actually friends and then it's just kind of we can josh each other it's fun um but i have to say i have to respect what this guy says nate from this guy not what i two stars not what i wanted i was searching for portis head as a fan and i hope this would be a deep dive analysis of dummy uh-oh so i'll tell you wasn't it we did 45 minutes on the album minimum like how many deeper dives you're gonna find than that i well i will get

[22:32]into i think i figured out right there i think i figured out why he's bad though when i listened to the episode because he does bring up some valid points of these next parts oh dang okay okay it was the exact opposite all right so it is the exact opposite of a deep dive analysis oh you don't think me writing down three points off wikipedia into my google keep counts as deep dive excuse me okay pretty sure

[23:02]we warn people right away right it's right there and this is wild 45 minutes of unlistenable drivel he listened for 45 minutes i'm sorry i don't want to do this i don't want to do this but i don't think he spelled drivel right i don't i don't think drivel is spelled correctly there technically from our notes too it was 48 minutes of a listenable drivel god you pulled it up quick why did you pull that up so quick that is like a whole catalog of this russell can i just say i love it when you pull up those notes

[23:33]like that it fills me full of joy we do way more drivel now than we used to oh what just because i'm glad you like it rob because russell shouldn't be doing notes any longer because clearly nobody uses them ever so that's just a whole bunch of garbage well here listen listen listen that's uh then an hour of your life you're not gonna get back russell then you sound like nate you sound like nate here on the review then when they finally got into the album they admitted they'd never heard of it and i had no idea what it was all about what does he expect i was i think

[24:04]being honest is good like we didn't pretend we were portishead fans and we were like this is new to us well we gave it an honest listen we technically we did call it the best portishead podcast so yeah so he hated our conversation he listened for 45 minutes okay he then listened to our review of the album realized we didn't do anything and then listened to his next part i just read the premise of the show after the fact and now realize why they were so lost yeah it's right there okay it's right there i did appreciate their minimal research

[24:34]i learned a thing or two between all the nonsense thank you that's actually the sweetest thing anybody's ever said and that was that a two-star review he learned something i was gonna say that's about all we've ever promised right just learn a little couple things i mean this is a five-star review right there this guy doesn't i'm pretty sure this is how magic mike started too because he want he sent in like a bunch of he's like you guys know nothing about hey magic mike guess what you're out okay now i'm trying to woo this guy i want people who don't

[25:02]want me okay now you want me to never out he's on the mount rushmore there's mike i'm making some changes around here okay so let me know if you want to do a podcast together is there anything good in the review rap or not uh uh yeah i would never listen again he says to them for trying i guess but i would never listen to again even for my favorite albums on the rolling stone 500 now i gotta say if you are looking at portishead dummy what other albums are you listening to on the rolling stone 500 like that's crazy to be so guys you know that i had to do my research i listened

[25:36]to that portishead album and i'm now going to play for you tonight's first list of the top moments from the first 45 minutes of unlistenable drivel just for this this writer here's the first line of our writing okay for all you lot lizards out there it could be sweet if you downloaded this week's episode about portishead and the 131st

[26:01]greatest album of all time dummy you don't need to be a double d long haul trucker license to ride these roads that's what the guy read is like this is what i need yeah this has got to be it he didn't like my story about how the school bus driver on my middle school trip told me about lot lizards his favorite part is that when they got in the truck they would do anything like that's what he told me verbatim was his favorite part of being a trucker i was like i get it could you imagine him just like sitting there getting pissed listening to that be like i i need more more portishead lot lizards aren't even on the top

[26:33]five okay the top five funniest part so let's listen here's the fifth funniest part from our episode of february 21st 2023 episode 131 portishead dummy beck did it better we are all we have to album a 131 and that's a palindrome my friend okay thanks a lot obama for all those palindrome strikes instead of boom okay that's a it goes joke slash kind of a zero res get your carpet clean by zero

[27:05]we're up to album one spells backwards and forwards you listen to that to start the album and you're not happy i mean it's good stuff you said boobs what is your problem palindrome thanks a lot obama i mean that is good that is good okay my fourth favorite clip all right it's just a clip i call a lot of finger cut off

[27:30]finger cut off is the fourth best joke in that 45 minutes of unlistenable drivel here's finger cut off what is the best finger to cut off probably a ring finger on your left hand ring finger on your left hand that was a good bit that's a good bit and it went right into a shocker bit is that before or after one of our we don't need to talk about losing a finger okay yep karen why are you bumming us out i may have

[28:03]realized that text jokes about that two family members don't go over that well so let's that but we don't need to do this i'm honestly trying to figure out if we were talking about that it was that unrelated next up third best joke in the portishead episode in the first 45 minutes of unlistenable drivel we are up to album 131 and from 1994 it's the album that goes like this what's there was this boy what do you want wait a minute we're doing dummy by portishead

[28:30]okay guys i need to take i need to take about a 49 minute break before oh boy we start recording that's my bad i listened to the wrong album yes all right we're definitely going down the drivel path you are serious that you listen to that you said this is unlistable decent joke i would say it's a great joke because then we also talked about how francis scott key said hey what key is national anthem in yep it's a joke that doesn't make sense when you think about it but it's just good just feels good my second favorite joke of

[29:03]the 45 minutes of unlistable drivel this one's just called love triangle and keep in mind while you're listening this is my second favorite joke let's imagine if you had a love triangle between blanche from the golden girls and j-lo like you were you were playing them against each other oh wow hey come over here and sit on my face no no wait yeah there's a lot of me bossing people around if i had a love triangle with blanche and j-lo

[29:33]it would be blanche in the closet with a camera i mean at this point the guy's gonna just unplug his headphones and be like what the fuck right he will be back we have to follow this guy somehow i wish we could track him he'll be back i guarantee he'll be back i know i found him on instagram i'm gonna get him okay and i'll tell you what you listen to that and you're like okay i hate all this but i gotta hear what these guys

[30:01]gotta say about poor to said like the number one joke from this episode isn't such a great joke that it has manifested itself as a text chain joke this will be a joke we'll make on episode 500 and this guy thinks it was the part of the 45 minutes of unlistenable drivel as he says let's check this out this one's just titled 69 russell do you deserve to be treated well yes absolutely russell you're the man okay you somebody wants to take your ass out and take

[30:37]you to red lobster guess what 69 you all you get out you get wine proposed you get done i think it's great i think it sounds awesome and i would say on valentine's day 69 guys on top okay that's our promise to you on valentine's day this year 69 guys are on top okay switch it up this year guys on top for 69 and i gotta say that was the number one joke that's canon from that episode of poor to

[31:02]said did it better list by russell 69 guys on top part of the next write-up next sentence in the write-up for this guy who listened to the drivel but before we get to the music we respond to an email about unopened gifts and wonder what's in the glory box no like i mean it's right there what was he expecting it does he doesn't read he just turns on a podcast and starts listening it's like aaron buying a computer just throwing it in there i don't know grab it it's good now there is a little case can i give you a little

[31:33]this is my little secret song because as i listened to this episode i heard something that led to a future bid on the show this we were planting seeds for the future listen to what aaron says here we haven't done any in-person stuff for three years i have a couple coming up this year so i'm gonna i'm gonna rely on you guys for advice about that yes aaron you did come for us for advice for the team building and we showed up in spades we helped out okay you took all your co-workers out to the park avoided all those needles you guys had a great time water balloons

[32:01]it was wonderful oh god that's right it was the water balloons oh i forgot about the water balloon and then i do say i have to kind of agree with this guy when we actually did get to the album listen to what we sounded like when we this is how we started talking about portishead dummy uh listen about the album we are doing dummy by portishead now let me ask you uh matt and aaron have you guys ever heard this album before no honestly it's the best policy yeah so he listens to all that stuff

[32:32]he's like oh i hate all this god this is unlistable rival true and then he gets the part he's like finally you're gonna start talking about it we're like we've never heard this we have no idea what's going on the truth will set you free man oh my god that means he also hated our james bond song list that that's a that hurts unbelievable it's really unbelievable i it's but you know what you gotta respect any man who hates a podcast enough to give it two stars and write a review okay it's it's kind of like the current political climate right like if we have people that hate

[33:03]listen to us we'll take it right we'll take it yeah all all attention is good attention exactly they're listening to us they're not listening to somebody else do you what do you think he's listened to at least part of another episode yeah hell yeah i'm gonna get him on instagram and see if he'll listen to the part where we talk about him listening to unlistenable drivel maybe he'll like that yeah you know i mean it really is this is inception he's like what i'm on a podcast talking about a podcast anyway rolling

[33:31]going aaron how's it rolling going with you and you know what guys i feel like we're off to a good start you know what guys i feel like we're off to a good start it's really going great um my mind just went blank for a second i had something i was going to say to you oh one of the things i was going to say is that you asked about or in your song you talked about uh what i'm eating for breakfast and a couple of things one i've got some great really good turkey sausage in the freezer but it's in a big chunk and i should have when i bought it i should have portioned it out and then frozen it in patties i didn't do that so every

[34:02]weekend night i think like shit i should have got that turkey sausage out of the freezer so i could have it for breakfast tomorrow and i haven't done it and uh so i'm hopefully going to remember by the time we get off of this record to take my turkey sausage out of the freezer because my son has really decided that he loves a series set a reminder for tomorrow tell aaron to take out the turkey sausage like it thank you i got it he loves chilaquiles that's his new thing and i don't make a great version i make a kind of like dumbed down bastardized version but he does like the chilaquiles so that's what we've been doing for breakfast

[34:33]or snacks or brunch when we can and i'm going to be back in a couple of weeks and i'm going to be um but that's not actually what i wanted to talk about what i was going to talk about that wasn't even guys that wasn't even what he wanted to talk about his kid loves chilaquiles and he's not i mean that's just we're just i came here this is the number one chiles chiles podcast and i came here just for this yep and so far there's been 30 already moved on i'm already moved on well i yeah i mean there's not a lot to say like i i bought some it's not that complicated i bought

[35:01]some sauce from a jar i tossed the chips in the sauce and chips in the toaster oven it's it's not major like i'm not making the sauce from scratch i'm not making chips from scratch none of it you know like i'm not russell did you have thing russell do you have any idea he was talking about a meal where you just put chips in salsa and then put it in your toaster oven the only thing i was thinking about the whole time is how my hot take is i don't like eating things out of the freezer if i have to defrost and i'm not eating that shit you gotta defrost it overnight yeah no no no no no no no no you're not here if it has to go into the freezer to begin with

[35:36]russell's freezer is just empty there's just ice in there nothing else the life of an unmarried man i'll do whatever i want at any time if it wasn't if it wasn't fresh enough to be in the fridge for like a couple days and then you cook it otherwise i'm out russ is going windy style never in the freezer did you guys ever did you ever eat chilaquiles at the uptown cafe never know what they are can you tell me what they are they're chilaquiles are in a microwave chips yeah no like

[36:04]traditionally they would be made with like chilaquiles and then they would be made with like so you would you would go all the way you'd take fresh tortillas you would cut them into triangles you'd fry them up into into chips and then you would take a chili sauce toss the chips in the sauce let them braise for a minute so it has that texture so they're like chili are you saying chili sauce yeah they're just like cheez-its then i don't they're the same as cheez-its except instead of cheez-its like spices okay i'm picturing a cheez-it like the best ones

[36:31]and they're eaten for brunch typically or breakfast and so you they they're tossed in a chili sauce and so they go they have that texture that goes from like crispy to kind of like a little bit soggy but also crispy and so then and then they typically serve them with a fried egg on top maybe some avocado queso fresco some crema sometimes some beans on the side is this like nachos they're kind of like nachos yeah but they're but they're fully tossed in a sauce so that you can eat them with a fork they're not like nachos where you

[37:01]would like pick them up and dip them in something yeah gotcha okay they're really marvelous and they used to have them at the uptown cafe in minneapolis which i think has closed so do you prepare this on like a daily basis aaron no no no no no this is like a weekend special okay all right i was gonna cafe is that the one on hennepin but it's like like 24th 24th south of lake street right south of lake street yep but like almost to franklin right like maybe i can't remember now but it was like it was close to amazing thailand but it's on hennepin you know john never talked

[37:32]about where things were john didn't want to talk about where things were john didn't once mention where things were down to my new detail because he knew people don't like it oh god that's still sensitive okay sorry about that joke i got once again three stern glances aaron what were you actually going to talk about before you got distracted with your kids i was always going to talk about my son because uh i gotta tell you aaron that did pay off me saying talk about your breakfast on the weekends i knew i knew that would get you i mean of course you're

[38:00]gonna like you you're you're baiting me with it of course i have to tell you what i'm gonna but typically we do like one or two times a week and then we're like oh my god i'm gonna eat this one morning i make breakfast which sometimes is just bagels and cream cheese and one morning and it makes pancakes but once in a while i do the chilaquiles but i do need to get my turkey sausage out of the freezer because i like to have a little sausage with my chilaquiles yeah or maybe make some patties and do some sandos but my son doesn't eat egg sandos that was that was my wife's you know that was my wife's wedding vow what's that i like a little sausage he's like this needs to be in my

[38:31]wedding vows i was like this is humiliating i know i was there it's bizarre i don't remember your vows that's good that's very good uh i mean i love you and i love you and shit those are aaron's vows like he just bails you're the fucking best of shit i love you uh i mean we're almost i feel like we're almost at my time limit but i i will say so full disclosure my happy hour today is time limits on this i feel like yeah i started happy hour today

[39:04]45 pacific so give me a second on this uh so if i'm losing a train of thought that's why uh my son started martial arts this week so he's gone to two martial arts classes and of course as rob predicted so we we're not doing jujitsu at this moment because the other place was closer and more convenient so he's doing a sort of striking you know style martial arts um honestly i don't know what style it is hey hey can i just play a

[39:34]quick song for your nuts aaron's nuts i just want to say it's so good having you around you will feel the full force of a child's karate chop perhaps while aaron is sleeping aaron's nuts lived a great life they were honored by many years of not being struck by his son and then in 2023 after rob and john deep dick the podcast

[40:04]aaron signed his son up for martial arts where he learned how to use num chucks and nothing else from that day on which ninja turtle would have hurt the worst to get hit the nuts by it might be donatello honestly i don't know who's the one that's got the stick the staff like yeah or their their car would throw a sewer plate at your nuts and hit them that'd be bad to aaron's nuts yeah we'd be able to salute you

[40:31]well you guys all right the you hit the nail on the head he went to his first class what did he and the class was thumbnail to your dickhead the very first woman said that very first skill he learned was to stand in his fight stance and kick using the front foot and the top of the front foot and so immediately that were you immediately he comes home from class and he said dad the first kick i learned i could kick you right in the penis so that's what he knew rob you predicted it i texted you about what to do

[41:01]that is what the child is excited to learn in martial arts i've just pictured aaron's neighbors looking out and being like all right what are they up to today and aaron just gets blasted at the darts by his kid goes down and they just kind of go huh then they look away yeah so that's it you guys know you guys you you you had it you had you're ready matt how's it rolling going with matt uh good rob can you pull a song up for me of course love if

[41:31]you could you know what morning phases are you matt i'm happy to do whatever i'm just having a great time here uh i've put up morning by beck because his album morning phases to which he won album of the year is now 10 years old as of february of 2024 boy just like me if i worked at a union job 10 year beck's got some jams you know we use him that's a bit of a punchline but this one's got 12 wow this is his 12th

[42:01]album and he had taken four years off before uh doing this one because he'd gotten pretty hurt and kind of just needed a little break from singing and everything to correct his spine or something like that so yeah this sounds so much like golden age right off of um which album was golden golden age on it sounds like that one but sure hands on the wheel what album was that on cg change

[42:31]but see that's where that's where this album is supposed to be like the follow-up to c change 12 years later and so it's supposed to be very similar to each other yeah good vibes there you go uh this is my favorite song this is on matt's soft jam slow jams not the top not the hundred list though not the hundred list no is there any back songs loser was that it loser i think maybe that's the only one on the top 100 uh i got a lot of i got i have a i have a beck top 20 beck

[43:01]songs of all time that i've got that list that i throw in every once in a while this is on that then i have matt's soft jam slow jams which there's i think three or four beck songs on that so uh but congratulations to beck 10 years still going strong it's pretty amazing album of the year a long time to be doing stuff you know sometimes you just make one little mistake and things can just fall apart so fast that's what you realize i have been on the mission and i think all of you guys think about where where this mission falls in for you while i'm talking about it but i've been

[43:35]on a mission to find the perfect pants oh god i need the perfect pants for travel i need the perfect pants for work and i need the perfect pants for the weekend and i cannot find them but i think i finally found them in their golf pants they're extremely comfortable water wicking feel like you're wearing pajamas things like that really then i've also been on this mission to find the perfect joggers because that's what you know all the cool kids wear these days and i've

[44:01]realized that if you're short like me and rob not tall like russell you know they do not make joggers god damn it unless you order them uh you know shorts i gotta go 27 inch joggers otherwise they look like balloon pants on me so my mission right now is to find perfect pants i think i found travis matthews and then the abc joggers from uh lululemon i also have reffing pants now that are lululemon reffing pants oh what's the cool new thing what are some of the characteristics that

[44:31]you're looking for in pants man like do you want to stretch or what are the things that you want a little stretch yeah because you got to move a little bit but the problem again for short people like me and rob is is they if you don't get them hemmed or you don't find the right length sure they start bunching up at the bottom and you look like a doofus can i just tell you for years i thought i was a first for a waist and a 29 leg or no i thought it was a yeah 29 leg and after years of just stepping on my hem of my pants i realized i think i thought i

[45:02]was taller than i was it's kind of clicking for me actually it's true i do remember seeing some of your pants where the like the your jeans were just fucked up on the bottom so i so i i you know this is true you can't really buy pants you can't really buy pants without 30s kind of the bottom no yeah 30s kind of the bottom of the list unless you're like a 30 waist then they usually they give you the 28 and so i've just figured out i just have to get everything hemmed now and i've never done that and i think as i get older but rob you were you were finding 29 inch pants and you're

[45:32]still stepping on them you are yeah my legs are very short it's kind of crazy though that we ever thought pants needed to go down to your shoes at all anyway right like couldn't it is like couldn't ankle length pants pretty much cover what you need because you're wearing socks you don't need the pants to touch your shoes i know that's like a stylish thing russell you wear a suit so you probably get yours tailored and all that but i don't know if it's a good thing to do that's but like we probably could get away with pants that just went to our ankles no problem well i had that for a while because you know who i hired to as my clothing consultant john from edina a

[46:03]little known man a little a little known man named pain stewart okay and that guy got me some short ass pants thank you pain stewart i think he had short pants right he had short ass and that's the other problem my ass is so short aaron my ass is two inches tall do you know that i did not i've not spent a lot of time with you i can barely sit on a toilet i feel like we talk about this all the time maybe we've brought it before but are you guys

[46:31]is there anything that you're trying to perfect right now we were talking about t-shirts maybe a while ago and i don't wear t-shirts anymore but it's pants you guys perfecting anything at this at this moment i'm i'm trying to dial in my underwear still i'm all over the place i gotta find some underwear that aren't artificial fabric and also don't look like i've given up on life you know what i mean like i want to find it somewhere where i want the natural fabric and it doesn't look like i just jumped out of the bed to go with charlie to the chocolate factory because that's what my underwear looks like right now

[47:01]old ass underwear i mean i'm still working on pants so i'm very happy to hear matt's pants thoughts and then i always want to dial in the long sleeve that's not a heavy sweatshirt so i've got some good ones in my in my quiver right now but i can always use more anna's parents gave me a beautiful timberwolves long sleeve t-shirt for christmas this year so that's like that's the platonic ideal right now it's a gorgeous shirt so that's like where i'm at i've got one pair of pants matt that i would pay a

[47:31]thousand dollars to get copies of they're the perfect pair of pants i have right now they're vintage from like a goodwill i can't find anything anywhere fabric nothing oh it's so frustrating because they're great and i know they're going to go at any time and that's where i've got if i found these travis matthews pants and they're like 120 bucks each they're me too they're they're not cheap kind of a thing right and it costs 25 bucks 20 25 bucks to have 22 98 or something like that to hem them but i think i just need to order like five pair and i think you do it yeah but then

[48:02]100 are they gonna go out of style in a year that's my that's my problem with all this shit you're at the age where going out of style does not matter anymore does it no i don't know i i kind of i kind of like being at least somewhat hip now with it and wow was you know like you can't have big balloon pants anymore right and you can't have your pants bunched up in your body we gotta have them the short pants things like i like i like to try i think i gotta try to stay up with at least at least moderately stay up with fashion i don't know

[48:32]i don't know maybe maybe i need you guys to tell me i should just give it up but no you gotta stay 43 because i've been thinking about this with our vegas trip like we're close we're like we're not old men but we're you know we can see it from here we're pretty old you know so we're like we're gonna have to still think about how can we be out of our homes and look like we know what's going on you know uh you know what i'll tell you what though you always can rely on the younger generation to make you feel good though because

[49:03]remember the guys sit next to us at the thing where they're like we just fucking went out bought these matching sweatsuits that's true we're like and we're like okay guys like that was big literally three years ago like you guys have totally missed the bomb shots oh yeah you're cool it was crazy to me it's not like we ever wore matching t-shirts with rob's face on them in vegas or anything that's different thing that's different we were really cool okay oh by the way also mentioned in that portishead episode

[49:30]dauber so that was an episode we mentioned daubers uh seen us in vegas i almost passed out when i heard us talk about that oh oh this is unlistable rival yeah daubers there so get ready because he's actually a recurring character on the show believe you're gonna enjoy it as a fan of this podcast welcome yeah russell rolling going how's it going with you things are going really good i i took a trip i was gonna see what you guys thought of this city i went to savannah this last weekend for four days

[50:01]have you guys been to savannah no yeah a few times oh wow matt what we're like i'd never been before i went for a work thing i took the uh the upstairs roommate came with me for we kind of went a few days before the conference had a few days in the city there's something about like a a southern city kind of a relaxed atmosphere a lot of like parks and everything i had a great time matt what do you think of savannah uh it was great first time i went there was with sarah we went we just went on a trip we went to

[50:30]charleston and savannah because charleston's about a two-hour drive hour and a half two-hour drive so anybody just needs to get and i've said this for years that us living in minnesota we never think of the southeast other than florida like nobody goes to the carolinas nobody goes to georgia nobody goes to alabama nobody even goes like the panhandle they just go to orlando or fort myers that's where the twins are or miami because i think that's where they got to go but the carolinas is awesome and then you get outside of that to the coast and savannah awesome and so sarah had set up this whole thing we stayed there we

[51:05]you know there's a big park almost like a central park it's not quite it's not as big a central park obviously but you know in the middle of savannah there's there's uh i forget the name of that it's like paula dean or somebody has like a restaurant there where you go and you sit down do family style it's great and they got bars there that have been there since like the 1700s it's great they got these old spanish moss trees awesome you know it's just it's it's historic it's nothing like we have

[51:31]anywhere close to us and it's awesome to go see it what was your highlights russell some of my highlights uh first you guys know i love doing these i did a hop on hop off tour they do trolley tours hop on hop off where you get like the two-hour tour you can find all the cool things in the city so we did a hop on hop off trolley tour and we did a hop on hop off trolley tour on day one i always think the key to it one of those tours you got to do it the first day you're there because then you know where do you want to go back where do you want to spend more time at right yeah i'll say this russell we're going to we're going to london in about two weeks with the

[52:04]kids first time they're going overseas day one hop on hop on love it perfect that's what we're doing yep yep yeah well i don't know whatever they got yes is there any urge where you want to dress up like our favorite british person austin powers no yeah baby yeah kids we're in london i thought you were gonna say noah gallagher dress up like noah gallagher oh yes that'd be so good

[52:30]david beckham he was awesome in the offspring i'm gonna dress up as the guy who runs red bull racing oh oh god so one of the other things is savannah is one of the most haunted cities in the country i didn't know this but one of the big things down there is um a ghost tour so either walking tours trolley tours that type of thing so we signed up for one of the ghost in the graveyards tours where they drive you around savannah you know at night they take you in a few of the haunted mansions and everything it was super cool but at one point there's probably like 25 people on our

[53:04]tour and they ask like who who on the tour does not like scary things i am legit like the only person i raised my hand i'm like yeah i do not like that stuff i don't like scary stuff you raised your hand on a haunted mansion and a haunted graveyard tour that you don't like scary stuff i did i did davis i thought wow this guy's what are you doing yeah yeah but it was it was it was really fun some of the some of the other highlights i think my favorite thing about

[53:31]savannah is they have all these squares like their parks just every other block or whatever right and you could pick one of like 40 parks within like a couple mile radius and sit down and just look at the trees and relax and do nothing and be in peace and it was so nice the one i spent the most time in forgot the name of the park but it was so nice and it was so nice and it was so nice the park but it's essentially like forrest gump park it's where forrest gump sits on the bench and tells a story during that movie and we just sat there multiple days for multiple hours it was so amazing but some of the other highlights the casino boat from the tv show ozark i don't know

[54:05]if you guys ever watched ozark yeah the casino boat in that show is in savannah that's where they shot some of that and so we got to see the boat which was cool rest in peace uh saddam hussein is that what you're gonna say rest in peace ruth but spoiler alert i have to bleep that up just in case you know what if you haven't watched the ad forget it saddam hussein is a

[54:30]spoiler alert too if you're watching the netflix series i mean uh spider hole hunters it's like house hunters except they're looking at various people's spider holes okay and so far one episode and the guy was not happy to sell it another interesting thing we bounced around to a bunch of bars and one of them we went to was called the savoy society it was a a vinyl bar i thought you guys would appreciate that vinyl bars yeah they were playing a lot of r&b music some uh records russell shows up to the vinyl bar like he's like hey i'm here for the vinyl bar oh no it's not this

[55:06]kind of vinyl did they have that one or did they go upstairs was there like the names of different bands on the way i didn't i did not see that at this one the most interesting thing i saw this one was they had probably you know a couple hundred records there and i watched them like take and they were moving stuff around and clearly putting things in order but i couldn't figure out what order they were putting them in so literally i just sat there

[55:31]drinking staring as they put records away wondering is this alphabetical is it by genre are they just putting records away so they know hey we're not going to play these for the next few weeks i was entranced by how they were sorting their vinyl autobiographical you could be right here the other thing the last thing i would bring up is matt had mentioned paula dean's restaurant we didn't go there we went to the pink house the pink house is like one of the famous restaurants in savannah but there's something about great southern food whether it's fried chicken biscuits just

[56:01]everything you can get the hospitality was amazing so i would highly recommend it it was an amazing city i think it's like uh matt you said you and sarah when you didn't bring your kids to savannah right oh this is i mean yeah we went like 10 years ago so we i was just gonna say when we went forrest gump they had like a statue still on where you were sitting and they removed it about five years ago because it was just like getting too old or something like that so you know but then i i go there for work every once in a while and so i end up going to the bars and restaurants more than

[56:31]walking around looking at the touristy stuff but it's an unbelievable spot yeah so i would highly recommend if anyone's looking to do like a airing a trip with your lady or something like that rob and you if you and john are looking to go celebrate your first and only podcast episode well only i think we need to talk as a great city you know in savannah and then charleston are like the uh essentially like the bachelorette destinations of the southeast you know there's like nashville now is yeah like bigger than vegas almost kind of a thing from bachelorette parties

[57:04]but charleston they've had to outlaw uh airbnbs because there's too many like bachelor parties going on so like the downtown charleston and then i think savannah's got something similar where you know something with there's just too many people they're trying to preserve like the historic nature of it would you guys go to a bachelor party right now if we all had to stay in the same airbnb yes i told you i wanted to do that for vegas 100 really i would make breakfast every year i look

[57:30]aaron and in vegas to see if there's something like that that that fits too far from this you know well yeah and they're it's just i mean relatively speaking it's very expensive yeah you know compared to what we pay pretty cheap yeah yeah matt had mentioned charleston rob charleston and candy your thoughts rolling going get out of here terrible okay below tootsie roll below below tootsie roll below the orange tootsie roll even okay that was the one that only took one ticket at the ankeny little league concession yeah like one ticket charleston shoe oh you want anything

[58:03]better you want anything better you gotta get two tickets you better be mvp of the game if you want something better than charleston if you saw they had they have the individual laffy taffies yep yes you could buy it yeah yeah 100 yeah or the square now and later so they have the now and later is as well oh the worst if i saw a kid walking around with just a one charleston shoe and he's like looking at it like he was gonna eat it i'd be like well i better blindside this kid and adopt him because obviously he's having a rough life okay sorry kid i'm blindsided you let's go you can't

[58:33]live like this all right and also i would like 70 of your future earnings just sign here don't worry about it just come on just do it all right your life's gonna be good i'd be a good conservative trust me yeah don't at some point didn't he see the movie and he was like wait a minute what the hell like it didn't seem to come out till way later there's a movie about him like nobody said hey like she actually did she actually adopt you like nobody ever said that it's wild to me listen i gotta

[59:01]show you this okay speaking of airbud okay for my rolling going speaking right were we speaking of airbud i just want well we actually were on the portishead episode so i think that might be what i'm thinking of but i want to show you this now one thing we never thought of is that airbud two airbud buddy is playing football okay he is of course an offensive wide receiver okay now of course you might say to yourself wide retriever yes that was the subtitle of the movie okay here's the thing maybe maybe it was a guard dog oh like it holy shit russell oh yeah oh my god

[59:37]that was so good oh that was so good i loved it line parker although now oh oh oh oh put him in a white and black shirt and he's the rough what he liked to waggle his tail oh you'll be waggle his tail there's no drivel on this episode of that guy this guy all killer no filler he's back and he's listening to portishead one

[60:04]headphone and us and the other one but you but you you forget one thing with football guys is that airbud is not going to score a touchdown every time he's not randy moss against the packers on thanksgiving okay okay check this out airbud catches the pass well this is legit airbud too yeah the dog's playing football he gets rocked did you see that airbud got he got tackled look at this look at airbud just get dropped i think it's hilarious that like the

[60:36]players are like all pissed and he got tackled like that's the game do they just expect the dogs allowed to catch the ball and run freely or what russell tackling airbud gets up like he's on miami like he's at the u he's he's dancing around like burton hanks after blasting a wide receiver into the ground murton hanks never blasted anyone but he was a good player but he didn't do that dance when he got an interception i mean yeah yeah it's true murton hanks chicken dance that

[61:03]was my i was like if i ever got an interception i would do the murton hanks chicken dance now it might surprise you i never got an interception okay what was your glory moment did you ever like recover an offensive fumble rob oh i had a guy uh there was a guy rushing the quarterback who and it doesn't matter who was supposed to block him and he put his hand up tip the pass way up in the air now i of course was also turned around looking at the quarterback and it's not important why okay it's

[61:31]not important why an offensive lineman be turned around look at the quarterback so i see this ball sail through the air i rise up okay like randy moss all right i'm up i'm up your hand and chin seam i grab it i get a reception i catch it immediately think of my buddy in high school who did the same thing ran two yards and got blasted and fumbled the football so i just went down for a one-year loss so russell my college receiving record is one catch negative one yards

[62:00]okay how do you even look yourself in the mirror like when you get the ball you're like i gotta do what these coaches told me and go down that's that was in college yep russell i was more i was more machine than man i just didn't matter anymore like in college you guys should have been doing whatever the hell you wanted like high school is different but college you can fuck around i should have you're right because i i can i'm picturing myself scoring a touchdown that would probably be a better highlight than me going down for a negative one yard loss right okay where's the quarterback at the time of that one i'm i'm not really good with names

[62:33]rob did i do that did your team ever do like the hey we're gonna we're gonna run the tackle out on like a fake play a fake throw to the lineman and did you think oh they might put me in there and then you realized they weren't going to let you do that either or not uh no they never said we should do this play nobody ever said we should do this play i never thought about it and jeff from apple valley would have been the one that they would have yeah he was taller they probably they probably wouldn't have picked both the fattest and the shortest guy on the team like listen okay let's talk about the

[63:05]album about the album oh sweet music podcast we could do portishead again we want to give it another cracker can you tell me one thing about portishead tell me anything anything you remember beats it's like a hip-hop it's trip-hop yeah they sound like bond music aaron i listened to the old episode i did tell you about music that's right nice job you guys are so smart okay i love doing this podcast with you guys uh james taylor okay born in boston goes to a boarding school drops out all right

[63:34]goes to nyc lives in the village he's playing his guitar in washington square park okay gets good at his guitar performing for people also gets really good at taking heroin okay which is a major theme of this entire thing in this entire album he goes into recovery okay he makes his first album then he goes into recovery uses what they cite on wikipedia as a family fortune inheritance to fly to london where he is playing and he is signed by a little

[64:04]record company named apple records he is the first non-british guy signed apple records and he's signed apple records after his demo got listened to by mccartney and george harrison the album is great okay he he makes he makes his album uh this i'm sorry this is his first album so he makes his first album in london right he is recording james taylor's first album at the same time that the

[64:34]same place making these albums which is a crazy it's a crazy fun probably where the cellist came from right like he's got some major instrumentation in this album you're like how did they do artists get all this money they definitely brought people in well that was his first album this is his second album okay okay so after this first album they're like hey james taylor we love having you why don't you go promote this album and he's like hey i am super hooked on heroin can't go promote this album right now that's on me okay hand up okay one hand out okay that's on me uh he goes into rehab after

[65:06]this i shouldn't laugh that's not a good joke he goes into rehab well don't say that out loud don't say what you what do you what do you think of that don't say it all he plays newport everything seems to happen to james taylor he played the newport uh festival for 15 minutes and they came out and said hey just let everybody know we landed on the moon and so he just walked off stage he's like well i guess i'm done like 15 minutes into your set and they announced that we landed on the moon and then you're like okay this

[65:30]one's called steamroller you know what i mean uh then he gets in a motorcycle accident breaks both his hands and feet oh he is now broke okay he moves to la he is sleeping on people's couches it's into kind of a collaboration with carol king on this album and comes out with sweet baby james a historic run of bad album names for james taylor it's amazing the bad album names he picked listen to these albums james taylor fine it's his name i get it sweet baby james terrible album

[66:06]title great can we agree to that i know but it's a terrible i mean if you were like hey check out this album it's sweet baby james that's embarrassing to say his next album james taylor and the original flying machine which of course was his band from before the next one mudslide slim and the blue horizon this guy cannot name an album well he fancies himself a blues man and i which is kind of embarrassing but i think sweet baby james is fun to say i don't know like i would like i would

[66:33]love to be known as sweet baby james sounds like a barbershop i would love to be known as sweet baby james sounds like a barbershop i would love to be known as sweet baby james sounds like a barbershop barbecue sauce it does well there's sweet baby rays right which is a barbecue sauce james taylor himself says this is the best song now i was confused because when i had to play in a basketball game okay against this team i hated okay they were terrible i came out spinning my ball to the song because i thought this was sweet georgia brown oh nice and this is i was like wait a minute this doesn't seem right to me and i was so mad i was gonna throw water on the crowd but guess what

[67:03]russell just confetti it happens sometimes i was thinking of matt when i heard this song i feel like you hear this song you know exactly what you're getting right yep 100 we have two weeks in a row of waiting track one side one titular track that fucking slams this song rules next week's track one side one is a titular track and it rules we've not had this unprecedented infected a better

[67:30]you already listen to next how are you already a week ahead i just know i know i know two great titular tracks two right away is the right number of titular tracks three would be too many three is three would be way too many what did porter said i could listen to this song all day it's in three four time he composed this for his nephew who was also named james he wrote it on the car right now they're just seeing for the first time it's kind of so good what do you guys have any relationships like that where nephews or uncles or

[68:02]aunts you know people have the same name in the family or not i got it my brother jim and i got an uncle jim so what do you think we've got big jim and little jim go ahead oh well i'm you know in my family i'm little rob you're little rob oh yeah i'm not big rob i'm a little little sphere rob oh don't say like that i'm in this small and tall section or whatever we said no uh but but you know like in my family russell the the greek tradition is that

[68:36]you name like your firstborn son after the father and so like the name so there's james's and george's and michael's and jim's and you know there's just like forever my my mom broke the trend with with uh with me so i should have been george that's my middle name he's like jesus christ that umbilical cord wrapped around his neck there's no way i'm i'm using this name well that's a callback it is a good callback deep callback so she listened rob and to think

[69:06]we thought maybe we're having troubles and then it turns out actually was listening and i cared about you guys okay funny it's always the bad stuff about everybody well i don't know about that time aaron when you play that football game and you fumbled it i lost the state championship game and then you guys never you know sent you that deep depression for 13 years and you're finally coming out of it do you remember that you remember that russell day and the pregnant lady

[69:30]you're right i am addicted to bad news about you guys just to make just to be clear we did win the state championship and i didn't fumble but i nearly missed recovering of humble okay we did we still won anyway all right it's a good story let's move on we don't care about yeah two stars unlistenable guys talking about other stuff terrible lo and behold i gotta say this album is very clear this sound is nice yeah when when rob was talking about like all the problems

[70:00]with james taylor like i think we've talked about him before with the heroin and all that stuff but like i only know him as like the old guitarist and like hearing like he had all these issues was it kind of blew my mind i just always figured he was like this straight-laced because like my parents had the james taylor greatest hits that was on all the time it was just like oh this guy seems like he must be happy and content wasn't he didn't he have quite quite uh love life the sword's been you're saying yeah well he was with johnny mitchell right we talked about him way way back on blue yeah yeah i mean can you

[70:36]imagine alice cooper and james taylor meet each other and you're like hey which one of these guys has a crippling heroin addiction it's obviously james taylor sunny skies now james taylor wrote sunny skies during his treatment at the austin riggs center so it's kind of like a cheery not cheery song some of these songs are kind of corny though right oh yeah i mean just oh yeah what i don't get like james taylor like he's got great songs right but he feels like the

[71:06]what's that group who's the best-selling album of all time the uh eagles the eagles right he feels like he's like the eagles of like full music to me like everybody can do it but how did he become so popular i don't know i think he's a crazy good songwriter i think the guitar sounds good right like he's i think he the problem is he kind of defined the singer-songwriter genre

[71:32]right and now when you hear it it's like oh he's kind of i just think he was writing like i mean his yeah this whole album is like on a razor's edge of perfectly well done song with great sentiment and great emotion and if you teeter on either side you either become like sunny skies like saccharine happy garbage or i mean you know blossom also we're gonna get to that like the or fire and rain could have been just terrible like

[72:01]too sad like he's just he's riding a thin line and he he gets it perfectly fine but he's not perfect sometimes i i think i always think about this as as like boner ads you know like boner pill ads like when you hear a song like this doesn't it sound like you're advertising boner pills yeah that's true like hey come on out get a huge boner it feels like sorry no okay i'm gonna say i'm gonna summarize mine and you summarize yours and we'll see who's gonna go i'm gonna ask how viagra works

[72:31]if you have a boner all the time what are you gonna say are you gonna say the same thing nope okay so let's go with yours i'll come back to mine we'll circle back okay i was just gonna say it does sound like he is writing a song for a cereal commercial in 1976 with every single song he does and like just somebody's gonna come on smiling at the end of it and then there's gonna be a box that says root loops james taylor rose something like that it was like two middle-aged people sitting in a pool like like a like a like a bathtub that's a bathtub shouldn't be

[73:02]on like a beach yeah oh yeah and they're like oh thank god my cholesterol is lowered with this medication you know what i mean like that's the ad but if you could be the soundtrack for that that means you've got some good songs right there's the guys there's like some hooks you got some jingles three legit bangers on this album okay and i have to say steamroller to me absolutely not one of them now every time i heard this i literally cringed and then i read on wikipedia that he wrote this to mock the into inauthentic blues bands he would

[73:34]see on the music scene and that made sense to me until i got to the second to last song on the album and we'll see because that seems very the whole i'm gonna mock other people by doing exactly what they do i i don't know it just seems a little too cute doesn't it yeah and when you when you're capable of writing sweet baby james or fire and rain why are you wasting album space with this

[74:02]right right it's it really is wild to me and then he comes down and says hey let's let's put the hammer down to country road i'm all in pieces i mean this is a song you can have you know what i noticed the first time listening back to this one is the piano in this i don't know if you i never really heard the piano before but this this song is just flat amazing isn't it it's got all the way up to 37 on the charts why don't you just leave steamroller off and make it a 10 out 10 track

[74:34]oh he he had to make it a certain length to get the 20 g's that's why the last song is called sweet for 20 g's he had to come up with a song i probably would have doubled up the time on old suzanna i think oh god well if you want to add more time to stuff i highly recommend uh talking about valentine's day that's what we did on our portishead episode big hit okay because that was when russ was not admitting that he was going with someone and asked about hey they planned my whole valentine's date

[75:02]do i need to and paid for it do i need to reimburse them i'm just glad he didn't pull some random dude off the street and they just decided to try to write like some like coy song that like maybe like under the the guise of something else and like surprise his producer and something i'm just glad he didn't try to go that's true that would have been terrible uh beyonce drops a surprise album and everybody's actually quite happy and supportive okay well not always jay-z you guys never mind that's not a good not a good metaphor

[75:31]uh now here thank you god this song is on this album it's a song okay that immediately if you were like i'm gonna put on this album i'm gonna start making out with my lady okay this would be a killer oh suzanna is it is oh suzanna is that a folk song what do you can what's up is it a folk song what's the name for old suzanna type song standard i would say folk song yeah

[76:01]with my banjo on my knee traditional song it's yeah like who wrote it we don't know kind of like i vacillate on this song between thinking like hey it's kind of fun you hear how talented he is but it's so porn ball right i think it sucks i think it's square i don't like it the sun was so hot i froze l7 footlong and i like this album overall i do like this album i don't like this track can you imagine

[76:31]you're this guy and you're playing this song and then you're like god i can't wait to hear this song like that's wild to be you know what i think you know i think the heroin thing is so surprising to me and aaron i mean this respectfully he's like a bald dude he's got like a bald he's like a bald an old man bald you know like but it's not like he's not he's not like a shaved he's not like a shaved cool looking bald he's like got the horseshoe bald guy and it's like i've never i never saw that guy as being like the hair i sound like i figured that would be like nick jagger or

[77:04]rockstar it's not james taylor russell that's because uh james taylor and aaron both got addicted to no heroin no heroin fire and rain i'm back baby i'm back this is like a top 25 song maybe this is this is so good i mean the singing the wordsmith it's just it's a perfect song it's just this is a song you couldn't exist imagine it not existing in the world

[77:33]yeah no way you know where i remember it existing i don't know if you guys will remember this he actually performed this he was a guest on the simpsons on the episode deep space homer i do perform this while homer was on the space shuttle and actually rob i gave you the clip if you pull it up he had to change the line because he's singing a song about flying machines falling into pieces on the ground and he realized this

[78:02]is probably not the best lyric yeah because someone's in the space shuttle homer's in the space shuttle that's the one where the rod saves the day and everybody cheers for the rod in rod we trust sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground um sweet dreams and flying machines flying safely through the air so he changes the lyrics for the simpsons so sweet such a good bit so i thought we could do a list of the greatest musical uh what do you call them

[78:36]cameos in the simpsons history here wow are you guys simpsons fans like i watched it probably the first probably till i was i don't know the first six seven to eight seasons but i probably haven't seen an episode in 20 years all right first song on the list this is from the episode stark raving dad this is michael jackson lisa it's your birthday oh my god this is so good and this was a moment right yes it was so weird though because it wasn't michael

[79:08]jackson in the show no it so the show was this guy leon kompowski who was impersonating him at like a mental institution and michael jackson was not credited for that but it's because he had a part of his record deal wouldn't let him do it wow and so that is really michael jackson on the show but he's not credited for that because he had a part of his record deal wouldn't let him do it he was uncredited for doing that song in the simpsons can you imagine how far he fell where

[79:34]at that point michael jackson was like actually i don't want you to use my name on your show i mean that is wild to think that michael jackson is the reason that he wasn't on there they were going to do another episode of this aaron you'll like this and the same guy the guy who thought it was michael jackson was going to be prince and they tried to get prince to do a simpsons episode but prince wouldn't do it not after michael no if he could have done it first he would have but not after michael jackson he already did

[80:00]it it's we are the world all over again right all right next song on the list rob i know you love birthday songs you've said happy birthday is the best song ever this is the ramones singing happy birthday to mr burns check this out hey up your springfield yes we gotta let this go for a second too you'll be fine go to hell you old bastard

[80:32]isn't that so good it's so great i love that so i think there were two of the ramones that were passed on so they had some fill-ins but two of the ramones were the original ones were actually on that simpsons episode rob that was for you i know you love you the birthday song it's it makes you happy when you hear it all right next song on the list i i think this is kind of in matt's wheelhouse this is the reddit song it's called the reddit song it's called the chili peppers this is from 1993's crusty got canceled check out the chili peppers

[81:02]now boys uh the network has a problem with some of your lyrics would you mind changing them for the show forget you clown hey our lyrics are like our children man no way well okay but here what you say what i got you gotta get and put it in you how about just what i'd like is i'd like to hug and kiss you wow that's much better everyone can enjoy that the chili peppers of the simpsons that's awesome isn't it that's so good

[81:34]so they they were getting the chili peppers for part of crusty's comeback special on that special was johnny carson you have near bet middler and luke perry wow yes and so the night before mo supposedly had told the chili peppers that mo's tavern held 30 000 people and they were not happy when they found out most tavern didn't hold 30 000 people can you imagine seeing luke perry in real life he'd be like i loved eight seconds

[82:02]how many other things was he in what else do you got well i mean just eight seconds 90210 right like that's i think the main thing he's probably recognized for wasn't eight seconds like the bull riding where he gets stepped on by the bull and the nuts million dollar baby is kind of like a copy of eight seconds if you think about it oh my god it is that's one of my life's great regrets was that i saw philip seymour hoffman in peace playing foosball in new york and i did not say i loved your work and along came polly and

[82:32]i wish for the rest of my life i wish i had said that to him yeah no you blew it yeah all right next band on the list next cameo this is from one of my favorite simpsons episodes ever it's from the flaming mose episode of season five it's aerosmith yeah happiness flaming mose welcome for aerosmith oh we're just hanging out come on guys free pickled eggs

[83:01]that's springfield steven oh yeah right are you ready to rock it's so good are you ready to rock i mean it's so good rob is so confused and aroused right now so this is season this is gonna be like 1993 94 we're like 13 14 years old for that flaming mose episode oh

[83:33]happiness is just a flaming mow away i could see i also thought of aaron i figured aaron would be into like pickled eggs when i heard mo i was thinking with pickled eggs because i was thinking like i think the best way to eat a pickled egg is thin slices i think if you bite into a whole pickled egg and try to eat it in two bites it's too dry it's not gonna work but if you didn't thin slices fuck maybe put it on some toast or something then you're then you're and it's good eating you're cutting up wait you can buy pickled eggs not just at a bar you can just buy a bar yeah

[84:04]you can buy a jar of pickled eggs come on i'm i'm gonna door dash you some pickled eggs before this is over it'd be so good honey uh hey it got here yes the pickled eggs no no we're gonna cut them really thin yeah we really want to taste that pickling just put them on some toast but don't forget about the eggy flavor i mean that was like a meal they ate aaron when they when they like stopped eating each other like that's like a donner pass meal they're like when i ate the guy next to me i might as well eat these pickled eggs when yeah it's like when my wife is like is

[84:33]the pepperoni in the fridge bad i'm like no that's the whole point of pepperoni it's never gonna go bad it's cured meat it's fine nice i like i like i like to picture you screaming at your wife no it's pickled pickled eggs damn it it's the fucking point comes in kicks you in the balls it was the top of the foot hit me right it is my pickled eggs last thing on the list this is not your typical rock star any anyone but this for me is from the

[85:02]greatest simpsons episode ever this is the guy who wrote talking baseball this is terry cashman with talking softball yeah yeah well mr burns had done it the power plant had won it with roger clemens not once not twice but thrice from those sideburns madly while wade box i was reading all of the baseball stars that did the cameos in this were all good with their kind of weird quirk or whatever except for one player

[85:32]jose canseco made them rewrite the canseco part in the show that man was never comfortable in his own skin was he yep i think did he end up having to like pull people out of a fire is that the was that the end result yeah that's exactly so i don't know what they had him originally doing but it's not a good thing i don't know what they had him originally doing but it's not a good thing it changed wasn't that the one where mark mcguire where they're like hey isn't there steroids and baseball mark mcguire's like you want to see me hit some dingers they're like yeah like oh that's

[86:00]rather prescient talking softball so that was the list of the greatest cameo appearances from musicians ever in the simpsons what a bunch of drivel oh my god what a bunch of drivel russell that was a top two list tonight like i didn't know the simpsons that well i've not seen that many simpsons episodes in my life actually but i know many of these songs from russians russell's napster and from watching a couple of the episodes with you russell and so i love how this takes me back down memory lane oh aaron on sunday night oh i'll do my homework no aaron you don't do your homework until after the simpsons and then you tell your mom hey i'm doing a project

[86:32]i need 200 cotton balls i forgot about it sorry blossom let's do blossom hey we're good show right and that's age we nailed it aaron she's fine yeah how'd that go for on jeopardy aaron oh what is a bad host looking for attention other ways aaron rogers is like thank god i'm not her blossom it's been much too all right again makes you think that i don't know it's pleasant it's

[87:07]fine i didn't but it's a boner medication song it just is like you listen to this and you almost now can i ask you guys let's circle back real quick if you just take viagra are you just hard like for right away or hours or what does anybody know what's going on feels like it's knowable i don't know is viagra just work like if i was in a room by myself like

[87:33]looking at like pain samples and i took a viagra it's been much would it work or does it need to be like depends on our weight are you are you gonna tell us that you don't get a boner looking at pain samples otherwise oh taupe you thought i was gonna say nude there and i didn't switch a room you're like white okay so you guys don't want to talk about viagra all right so you're saying does there have to be some sort of instigator beyond just the pill yes i don't know the answer

[88:02]to that no me neither all right it sounds like we have our next special episode for the best of i gotta get on the horn with john we're gonna figure this out anywhere like heaven you guys were mentioning back earlier i was reading so in 2002 he pivoted to more the singer songwriter kind of sound like this kind of bob dylan leonard cohen jenny joni mitchell and also

[88:30]he specifically cited james taylor he said i've been really getting into james taylor people don't understand that as much as punk was rebelling against guys like james taylor he was rebelling against punk just singing from the heart so i'm gonna give you a little bit of an idea of what's james taylor actually we were talking about this album earlier with sea change that came before morning phase right yeah and rob i gave you one of the songs from sea change but you can kind of hear where the influence from james taylor came from this song is so good oh god that's a great

[89:02]i hate it it's so good maybe a little more stripped down kind of similar to taylor i guess right so good yeah i mean you can hear it for sure you know if james taylor is going to be kept going this is what it would sound like so i would say when it when it comes to being inspired by singer songwriters like james taylor who did it better beck did it better next fine next up after oh baby now this is where you start to think okay if steamroller was a gag and we're

[89:35]just making fun of things explain this it's just the same shit yeah i mean he he probably wanted to play the blues but like there wasn't really a place for him to do it okay i gotta stop i can't take it much more after that and this one he needed one more song to get his 20 grand album contract so this song is called

[90:00]sweet for 20 g's because he just put together a couple songs to fill out the album very similar to album what is it 499 on the list here my dear by marvin gaye but that was a whole album that's where he had to do the whole album to get to satisfy the contract there we go like chinese democracy you think they were like listen this album okay we got to come up with one song that's filler

[90:32]he's like oh fuck i thought that's what oh suzanna was oh shit now i gotta think of another one like for them to say like oh we need more and oh suzanna is on his album that's wild to me let's get into our very popular very bad rating system now folks okay this album it's great fire and rain great sweet baby james eric like aaron said

[91:07]it's a great song country roads unbelievable okay it also has legitimately a song i will be making fun of for weeks in oh suzanna okay i every time it came on i didn't want people to see what i was listening to on my phone can you imagine if my headphones came unplugged and i was listening to oh suzanna at work it's not unpleasant though like do you do

[91:30]you if that's if you're listening to this album do you track it or do you let it play track it you track it just because i feel corny listening to it aaron would you track it or let it go i'd probably let it play i think i'd let it play oh well you guys are stronger than me is this album okay a rolling well-toned it is perfect at 130 182 oof going back to portishead is this album rolling grown okay it should not be

[92:02]what was it that play we should not have listened to this album now okay it should be later on the list i can't believe it's up here or was this a rolling bone okay this should have been right before portishead 180 130 i mean get it right up there okay we could have had maybe use this as a launchpad for an actually a good portishead episode which we're gonna do we're gonna redo it all right so what do you think matt rolling well-toned rolling bone i would only do no don't think we didn't catch that we're not redoing any

[92:30]uh it's rob's version oh i wish i wouldn't have said that too you guys are mad at me again uh rolling grown is the answer this has got a couple of good songs but again once we get to wildflowers petty at 214 i mean that is just like how this is not an album this is like a couple good songs you know that were done in the 70s kind of a thing and i think we've talked about it enough how many how many albums do we need between 1970 and 1974 on this list there's like a third of them are

[93:01]from that little time frame so while james taylor great artists great songs all that stuff this album is rolling grown it should be lower on the list uh aaron what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown james taylor i love this opening track i love fire and rain the rest of it i sort of don't mind having on james taylor just reminds me of like being a kid and it's on in the house so i i actually like the album i don't think it belongs on the list

[93:30]at all except for fire and rain so i've got to give it a rolling at all i don't understand why it's on the list except for fire and rain so maybe maybe it does because it has the one great song but either way rolling grown for me can i tell you aaron this album reminds me i had a fifth grade teacher she loved two musical artists james taylor she would play you got a friend all the time and then like make us think about it would be like damn james taylor is right okay did not tell us about the heroin part and then the other song she loved was mc hammer too legit to quit so she would

[94:04]also play that and make us think about it it was a wild back-to-back it's kind of right teacher loving too legit to quit you name your fifth grade can you guys name your fifth grade teachers toller see russell teachers do make a difference okay tickets don't just forget the teachers you said that the other week and it really is stuck in my craw no technically i remember everything through everyone through fifth grade and none from sixth through high school not i couldn't i don't think i can name one teacher from sixth grade to high school especially not science no science teachers

[94:33]in middle school at all except for one aaron knows this do you guys know that we had we picked a teacher gives a speech rob maybe you've done that before at graduation or something like that so i actually we had i graduated like a class like six seven hundred kids and i actually got a shout out from the teacher in you're gonna have to bleep out my last name aaron but i appreciate it

[95:00]so rob mark this everyone's gonna clap mark that rob mark that but so way to go aaron johnson but so the the the teacher knew i was into like the ufc and wrestling and all that stuff and he he gets up on stage and he's like he's hollering at me yelling my last name like in front of the whole thing and he's like are you ready are you ready let's get it on like he did like the whole john mccarthy are you ready let's get it on after calling me out so not something you should that's

[95:33]kind of a michael jackson and russell went on to be part of this podcast and it was a really great thing in his life yeah that's the only teacher i remember rob oh my god that's so hurtful you guys that's terrible that's what spurred him on to become part of this podcast aaron i did give two graduation speeches at two different schools and aaron you think i used the same speech for both schools yeah no i did yes you did you know i did hey reuse it work smarter not harder my friend i am not a part of the podcast that rob

[96:02]missed having he only missed having aaron matt if i remember correctly i couldn't think of anything that rhymed with russ sorry actually russell john remembered me john john gave me a shout out i can't believe the harmonica for you i know i listened until that i got they robbed in like an extended blowjob bit where i'm like okay we're literally just posting porn at this point i'm like we i can't it okay yes listen i think it's just us

[96:31]and john listening at this point it was tough to record a show with somebody who also was me is sick you know what i mean like there was no governor like i would say something he'd say something worse i was like oh no this is bad because then i'd say something worse it was literally like a big fish eating a fish eating eaten by a bigger fish except it's all just you know sex jokes uh russell what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown you know you guys were mentioning like the great songs of this i got kind of have to take exception aaron saying there's one great song i think there's

[97:01]three i think sweet baby james is great uh fire and rain and country road i think all three of those songs are great so to me if you've got three like all-time crusher songs i could see why it's on the list but i think you know matt brings up tom petty you know i've not been the biggest bob dylan fan but when we talk about like singer songwriters and i listen to this and then i go listen to some of those dylan albums it's kind of in a different world so i think the three songs are amazing i'm gonna say it's a slight rolling grown i'm glad it's on the list i'll

[97:30]probably listen to this again but there's too much of the the corny stuff where i'm like i just don't see how you can put this on the all-time you know way up there so i'm gonna say it's rolling grown slightly but i did enjoy it unfortunately you guys are incorrect okay shit no this gets a rolling heroin heroin heroin heroin guys this is one of the biggest heroin albums except for the one from shira what era she was he man's she was a heroine heroine oh when you want to hear about the that's

[98:03]bad that's the only heroine i can think of is shira what's the one uh song where they nico and what's the other one his name if you want to hear from guys didn't we have a whole james brown on the start time or one of those yeah heroin yeah better got a lot of heroin by the way i forgot i forgot something i'm gonna apologize next up we have an album for when my italian neighbor nicknamed his son after a bad

[98:32]math test oh d'angelo oh d plus angelo he's getting better come on that's bad very bad joke oh i love having you guys at the show rob i was gonna say that i i took one of those pills you were talking about and i've been looking at some paid samples but now i seem to have this problem with this drivel i don't know what to do oh it's careful if your drivel lasts if your drivel lasts longer than 45 minutes you must call doc you must write an itunes review you can still

[99:02]impregnate someone with that drivel so don't pre-drivel is sometimes anybody near that russell's uncle hates the pre-drivel can you imagine pissing off someone so bad that they leave a two-star review for you that is pretty it's brutal now russell i just want to circle back real quick you went to somewhere in georgia called the pink house i did i you know i've been there i had a party of three yeah and they only had a table for two in the pink house russell do you want to guess where i had to go sit by myself

[99:35]where's that it's in this it's in this dinghouse i saw that one coming from so far away