Red Hot Chili Peppers: Blood Sugar Sex Magik (1991)

[00:00]erin all right disgusting all right so okay now we're having a fresh start after rob said a joke that apparently was too funny s2e2 second episode of season two do you guys ever watch that jerry springer too hot for tv one no yeah no okay all right let's move on uh in the guys okay just go for it in the last episode you gotta go just go for it in the last episode we said that it was the rolling stones starting their greatest four episode run ever okay with their album i'm going

[00:33]to declare right now this is episode number one of our greatest four out episode run that we're going to be on so this is number one of the greatest episodes okay so get ready for a great episode all right in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you

[01:02]disagree please sit back and enjoy back did it better we are all the way up to album 186 it's he's so hungry and from 1991 we have the red hot chili peppers okay otherwise russell's underwear track 1991 what's that it's a huge year in music huge 144 days actually if anyone has ever listened to the podcast there was a a time period where multiple great albums came out in 1991

[01:34]including this one well blind came out yeah came out 10 a black album straight out of compton no that was earlier than that here in the black planet maybe when did they might be giants release no we cannot put they might be giants in the context of these other great bands so 91 second greatest year because flood came out in 1990 for the giants

[02:01]i should have known it was 1990 because they say in the song it's a brand new it's one of the songs about them releasing the record it's complicated we're up to blood sugar sex magic by the red hot chili peppers guys at my house we have lots of these and not so much of others there's a lot of sugar we have so much sugar where did it all come from i've been stealing these packets every day when i've been going out so we have just so much uh unfortunately jenny's magic wand is an actual wand where flowers come out she's working on a show

[02:31]that she's doing that's a call that's a that's a shout out there to my vibrator heads who know different names of different vibrators russell and matt's not reacting to that joke makes me think their marriage is doing fine things are going i thought that was an actual joke about her becoming a magician oh you know she's always picking up new hobbies like you know maybe that's her new thing i'm just going to give you guys a warning i've had a very long day right now i might need to put the sunglasses back on oh yeah it changes it brings out just a little bit

[03:07]of a different attitude it's a different russell oh the intimidator oh yeah oh yeah uh now okay guys let's not listen russ is right we're in a big rush and i realized i didn't upload the song yet and don't worry about that that's not a big deal okay we're gonna get that here we go okay so uh let's russell let's turn on can we turn on your

[03:32]bluetooth record player do you want us can you stream your computer to the bluetooth record player right now crank up the volume and let's play this over tonight tonight what i had going on oh you took i don't know if i if i ever guys if i ever show you guys a picture ncaa tournament i moved two tvs and a laptop into the living room so night one and two of the ncaa men's tournament four tvs going at once wow the second tv is still in the living room we're we're into the final four

[04:02]tonight we go out and have some drinks the upstairs roommate kind of you know falls asleep i've got ncaa tournament on one tv right wrestlemania on the big team wow and i'm playing the red hot chili peppers through my bluetooth speaker record player in the back is that a multimedia multimedia multimedia extravaganza or what russell russell if if russell from 1991 okay just picture this russell flash of light okay smoke smoke rivets door opens it's a time machine in your yard okay because we

[04:39]know you got the nice view so he stops or he's right by where he gets out there's a port-a-potty right next to him if it was in 1998 i did mow the utah jazz into my backyard because i didn't like the bulls so i did it could have been a utah jazz yeah it's a utah jazz in my backyard for my uh graduation party you do kind of a greg ostertag haircut right now russell so i think oh what

[05:00]other way rock russell i don't know if anybody's told you but your haircut is terrible more like hornacek to me oh jeff hornacek hairstyle that's the worst thing you could say to a man you cannot say if you say anything like oh you kind of look like jeff hornacek you remind me of jeff hornacek oh boy that'd be terrible what's going on now listen we'll just wait russell what's going on the time machine yeah rivets smoke door opens russell from 1991

[05:34]gets out okay he looks in the window he see he sees current day russell yeah wrestlemania on one tv big 80s 80 inch tv oh 80 inches ncaa tournament on another tv small tv which is like 40 inches red hot chili peppers blasting through the bluetooth speaker and a woman sleeping next to him on the couch

[06:04]91 russell would simply salute you because he is wearing full rotzy whites salute you get back in the time machine and go back russell you would be pumped if 91 russell saw you tonight i think you're right yeah i do and with those glasses on you do kind of look like 1990s russell but let's get into it let's turn this on can you send this up to your bluetooth player so everybody in your house can hear this no we can't do that again we had a problem with russell's russell's serious about

[06:30]this one you know what russell i am going to do it okay right now okay and let's turn on the record player the blue welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b honey i'm home well it turns out that when russ is coming home from work the first thing he has to do is check the knob to make sure he's not going to burn himself turns out that things at russell's place lately have been getting hot but it's not what you're thinking

[07:02]oh yeah russell comes home to his apartment but he starts sweating when he's walking in the temperature to where the breathing is painful the eggs on the counter have started to fry the living room feels like he's at the grand canyon the bedroom makes him think that he's in a fry pan

[07:47]the air is all blurry cause it's a hundred and five it is a skinny thermostat

[08:02]russell you could make some in this place we stay it's so hot in here rus feels like a souffle russell can't survive he gets dehydrated but this might be a trick to get russell naked yeah yeah russell yeah yeah

[08:31]the temperature has turned up at your place day after day despite what you've commanded because the upstairs roommate wants to see you buck naked sitting on that couch watching two tvs that's what it's about she's just a lady she's just trying to get you in your drawers i've got a perfect podcast for you jack pretty sure that's not the reason you sit around in your underwear russell um actually i do occasionally nice occasionally i'll come back

[09:01]it'll be from work the the upstairs roommate is sitting in her spot she's got a spot do you guys have a spot at your house like matt do you have a chair or a spot on the couch you're always sitting in or not uh yeah it's whatever you know the kids get the first two slots you guys just take whatever i'm just wherever whatever's left whatever's left over i watched a show the other day russell from my bench press i had to sit on the bench because the couch was full we had a friend over man of the house sitting on a bench press unbelievable

[09:30]do you have a spot i have a chair yeah i have a beautiful eames chair that anna gave me for my 40th birthday and as long as my son is not reading uh x-men red in there i'm good hey russell you should have kids it's a blast that's the general vibe that you're getting an eames chair oh i see what an eames chair is yeah it's a nice chair this one's seven thousand dollars aaron you're gotta be kidding me look we got we got friends in the business we didn't pay full retail for it

[10:01]wait you have friends in the chair business you play wow oh my god new house new backyard i should have known this prompt would have wrecked getting dogs euthanized 70 or 100 dollars i honestly don't know what paid for it it was a gift oh my jeez it's a very nice chair there's an eames chair on here that's double the price but guess what it does what's that

[10:30]drags you off all right listen i've got rob imagine if someone got you that 7400 go back to that picture of that chair yeah it looks like a nice chair 7400 bucks i mean it kind of looks like it might work for aaron or matt it might not work for me or you if we lean back in that thing russell it looks like it's made for somebody who doesn't mind a warmer set thermostat you know what i mean they don't want to keep things very cold because they're constantly generating so much heat so that's where i sit all the way to put on that

[11:01]i don't think that's happening yeah no this that chair looks like it's gonna collapse you're right aaron has a 7400 chair i've got three guys here heaven forbid he pays his fair share who was just i've got three guys who who were just psychos sexy until king charles came along and said hey suck my kiss and now they're sir psycho listen guys we'll get through this episode we're just trying to have fun okay i got matt in minneapolis matt how are you doing

[11:30]good rob hit me you can't hurt me let's talk about uh red hot chili peppers okay uh and i've and i got a guy who uh like joe flacco better than lamar for some reason okay with these sunglasses on i've got uh russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing rob what i've got you gotta give it to your mama i promise i disinfected this disco ball you should give it to your papa

[12:00]aaron out of california now aaron recently admitted to me he only knew you know the alphabet the alphabet all the letters okay something crazy if you think about it the alphabet he only knew 25 letters and he didn't know why i don't know much of this album so i'm gonna have to piggyback on russell and say what i got you gotta get it put it in you let's talk about blood sugar sex magic that was just vulgar i don't get it

[12:32]i'm not sure either to be honest what i got i gotta get it put you is it in is it in okay it's in yeah again funny or not funny depending on how things are going interesting thing about that song it was actually in an episode of the simpsons yep on your list of the simpsons anyone i'm so sure back on the other joke hey you got a list no no he didn't send me a list he knows he didn't send me a list

[13:00]listen russell we don't have time for this we have to get right into our voicemail did we get one russell we don't have any people need to call please i beg you them hey i just met you and this is crazy actually russell we've gotten more things about your co-host 802-277 that's 802-277-2325 and we're getting a lot of like complaints that they're not on the bracket but nobody is calling to say oh good rob wants me to be a co-host

[13:31]not a single person has said that so nobody all right so this is a uh text i got and russell you wouldn't let's just say russell this is this is this call is coming from very close to where you are currently this is not rus russell lives the temp was at 75 degrees no this was the text sent to the beck line you claim this is the biggest crock of shit i have ever heard 78 which is a crazy

[14:01]it's it's such a crazy number 78 like it's so crazy that when i said it to my wife she was like wow that's a high number and this is a person who likes to make me into a piece of beef jerky at night who knows math i'll tell you what normally if you think we're doing beef jerky at night great but the way my wife does is she gets the room hot until i'm like romple peel in there the new thing in this house is you know what i think someone who accuses other people of gaslighting

[14:30]is probably a gaslighter that's what i think i'm just gonna say it and let it float out there this this russell these glasses yelling about his upstairs roommate is one of the greatest things i've ever witnessed in my life so russell she is claiming that it was actually set to 75 and you are making kind of a big deal out of nothing at 75 no i'm not gonna even respond to such nonsense by the way the idea that they would say no i had it set to 75 75 is still extraordinarily high 75 is like if i came home i would assume somebody made a mistake

[15:02]you know what i mean matt you come home your house is set at 75 what do you do just i would go russell on it say what the fuck you'd have to go russell you'd have to go russell i mean is there something about overheating your house that would make you so mad i mean that is a classic i would literally i would literally walk around and open every single window when i possibly could and just cool that thing down as fast as possible i don't what is it with these people

[15:30]they want to live hot russell just so we don't have to comment on that russell okay we don't know who's telling the truth who's lying okay has there been any further developments in what some people are calling hotgate uh hotgate update uh hotgate update there there is there was a discussion today that the reason this person always wears the same couple hooded sweatshirts is because it's too cold in the house all the time i've been told the house is too cold all the time do you guys ever get that where your uh your spouse

[16:01]your yeah anyone is saying hey this house is too cold or not yep yeah we got a drafty old house so that's just how it goes in the house sometimes we do our best i don't get to pick the temperatures you have no say rob none none if i open a window i have to i have to when i open a window in the apartment it's like i'm cheating on my wife like i kind of have to look like look in the bedroom and see if anybody's in there or anybody's sleeping if i hear the keys on the door i close the window immediately that's like the first thing i do

[16:30]are we dealing with a situation where you're you're starting to say like hey it's getting to be april now and i don't remember what's under those big hooded sweatshirts and she's saying yo if you want to see what's in these sweatshirts who are you holding here i'm just saying like aaron disgusting me russell is he right aaron have some respect now why did you say i pray you didn't say why do you wear the same clothes every day did you say that to her russell no that's not what i accused i never i didn't say well it sounds like somebody said something because she's like the reason i wear the same hoodie every day

[17:01]so it sounds like maybe somebody tried to make a point and it kind of got out of control but that's not what happened i think the point was was that the upstairs roommate would prefer warmer temperature in the house i don't know i don't like the warmer temperature in the house we have to find we have to find a place in the middle right yeah or one of you has to find a place in the basement like you're a chud russell's now a subterranean underground oh it's a a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller

[17:32]russell that's what a chud is if you've ever seen those movies rob you're are you an oldest sibling yeah of course matt you're oldest aaron you're we're all three of all four of us are oldest siblings yeah the best the best matt aaron rob are your wives oldest siblings or are they middle or the youngest where do they fall in their family only child only child oof yeah oof that would be a tough slot to fill middle i don't want to do an only child

[18:00]middle aaron yeah aaron's a middle russell it will probably not surprise you that my wife is also an eldest child i can't imagine doing an oldest child versus oldest child headbutting constantly well we don't think of our marriage as a versus but we think of it as we are wait let me read what she gave me we're working together as a team who succeed in our goals

[18:30]and why didn't you lift on that first monday aaron do you ever kind of make comments be like of course that's what a middle child would do do you ever do that type of thing or not no you don't no what do you mean did you start aaron should you think about it no i i make comments about like what that's what a minnesotan would do but not not a middle child too close to home too harsh not a middle child but i do say well minnesotans you know they can dish it but they can't take it you guys we'll turn the cameras and we'll keep the microphones on cameras off

[19:00]aaron do you ever do you ever think about it like that's what a middle child would do think about saying that no i don't actually no i mean i mean i not to get like too boring about this but i think my i think my wife's kind of unique because she's middle but also like sort of a youngest because there were three girls and then a boy so she was like youngest girl but then she's got the middle vibe so i feel like it's a little both but aaron would you say that she listens to you when you say what to do when i say what to do

[19:31]yeah just answer the question yes or no does she listen to you i say what to do no that's not what i asked does so she doesn't listen to you okay so would you say she listens to you when you tell her what to do yes or no you can only say yes or no i don't tell her what to do stop saying that i'm editing that out i don't tell her what to do i'm editing all that out do you tell her does she do what you say when you tell her what to do yes or no i don't tell her what to do blink twice if it's no how do you do when you tell her what to do yeah

[20:00]aaron's sitting in his 1700 chair like these records are unclean who's going to clean these records who's going to clean these records all right we're in the place who's going to do the uncleaning of these records i clean my own records only russell will call it uncleaning it's time to see what everybody's up to it's time for that was the only voicemail we had oh yeah

[20:31]it's the only one that fit because the you want to go back to the temperature talk i have to interrupt i was told that there was going to be another voice bill this person must not have called in like they said they were gonna i gotta tell you guys something we talked about the tournament we talked about the tournament we talked about the tournament we talked about the tournament a few weeks ago rob was shocked to find out there were two complimentary movie guys i gotta tell you guys something there are three wow three complimentary movie guys the third complimentary movie guy i was talking to you on a text you will love this complimentary movie guy number three

[21:01]who i don't believe has ever texted or called in said he wants complimentary movie so he walked by like the kid taking tickets just like stormed fast him goes into a movie for free and he's like About 20 minutes in, the movie sucks. He goes out, demands his money back. Oh, what the hell? Wow. That's the smartest person I've ever heard in my entire life. You can't get your money back for a movie. No, Aaron, you're not listening. Aaron, he didn't pay. He didn't pay. I mean, that's clever.

[21:33]It's like shoplifting a candy bar, eating half of it and giving it back. I'd be like, I taste terrible. It's like shoplifting shit from an airport. Yeah. That's crazy. It's shoplifting shit from an airport and then returning it, Russell. Now I'm thinking, I've got $34 in Hudson News credits. Listen, rolling going. Okay, Aaron, rolling going. How is it going with you? Okay, and people listening or not listening to what you tell them to do around the house. It's going really great. I, before our spring break extravaganza, I also had an adventure in San Francisco.

[22:03]I saw Bruce Springsteen in concert. Oh, the boss. Wow. Saw the boss at the Chase Center. It was incredible. Russell. Russell last week mentioned how great the harmonica can be. Did you run into a listener there at the Chase Center? I did not. And I don't know if we were, I was there on Thursday. What are you referring to? I know one of our listeners was there. Who was it? Magic Mike 69. Oh my gosh. He was, he had, he had first row behind the stage in his Insta, which seemed like awesome.

[22:35]Bruce Butt. Those are Bruce Butt seats. You want to see Bruce's butt. That is the seat to get. Yeah. You can see a lot going on. He was sitting down from where he was sitting. Those look, those look pretty cool. So was he there a couple of nights? He was there at least two nights, maybe more. Cause we went on a Thursday and then I know I had a, I had a friend who went back. We went on Thursday and then one of the women we went with also went back on Sunday with her family. So, uh, yeah, it was great. It's amazing. Like, it's just, what was your, what, what's, what did he open with Aaron?

[23:02]He opened with something in the night. Oh, he opened with, um, not thunder. He did play. Thunder road. I was surprised by how much of thunder road I could remember the words. Um, but he opened with something in the night. Uh, he played such a great story here. I was surprised by how much I can remember from thunder roads. Like, like we're all going to look at air, but like, that's awesome. Aaron remembered so much of that song. I mean, because he's like, that was one where he like cut out the band, cut out the mic

[23:32]and like had everybody sing the words. And I was like, I kind of got this. I wouldn't be able to sing any of thunder road, Aaron. I'd be standing there like saying watermelon. You know, the one that everybody knew was fucking Rosalita. Like they turned the lights up at one point and played Rosalita. And like, that's when, that's like that moment at the Metallica show where they start playing, like seeking destroy and you realize who the real fans are. Like the people who know the words to Rosalita, like those people have been listening to the boss. Like they really get it. But Russell was talking about the power of the harmonica and he did come when he played.

[24:02]Uh, so he came out and he played, he played a bunch of stuff from darkness on the edge of town, which is my favorite album of his. So I was really stoked on that. So he did back streets. He did something in the night. He did bad lands. But when he, when he played promise land, he came on, like, that was the first time he got his harmonic out and played the intro to promise land. And like that really, that's when the show took off for me. So it was pretty awesome. He played for almost three hours. Just incredible. Uh, and then it's very cool. So the, the saxophone player now is, uh, his name is Jake Clemens.

[24:33]I think, is that right? And Jake is Clarence's nephew, the big guy. And he does, he's great though. Like he plays. It sounds great. It sounds a lot like Clarence. They get the same kind of banter between the two of them. So it was marvelous. It was absolute once in a lifetime experience to see the boss. So Aaron, you've seen plenty of good concerts before. Like if you were going to put your, your Mount Rushmore, I know you always like to rank things in a Mount Rushmore type level. Oh, do I?

[25:00]And I would even say a double Mount Rushmore. Let's go top eight, top eight concerts. Double Mount Rushmore. Is this your top eight or not? I think of Aaron, I think of Mount Rushmore rankings. I haven't seen that many. I haven't seen any of his concerts to be honest. So I don't know. I mean, the ones that really stick out for me are, I saw Pearl Jam on the Yield Tour. That was like, that was early in my life. So that was cool. And Matt was probably at the same show at the Target Center. Nope. I saw him at East Troy. Oh, wow. My, my favorite concert I ever saw was when I went to Aaron's senior recital.

[25:35]Oh, I loved it. I had a good time and seen my friend. He made my friend do so well, made me happy. That's, that's, that's sweet. Did you go to that at Rob or are you just making this up? No, of course I was. I bet he did. You did. Yeah, I supported my bro. Okay. Bros got to build each other up. Hey, Rob, did your mom go to that concert or not? No, my mom. Yeah, my mom was there for it. So you're not as good of a friend as I am because my mom went to it.

[26:02]Russell's mom was there, it's true. Your mom didn't even go, Rob. Russell brought me flowers. Mom, why didn't you go to the concert? God, you're such an idiot. And I went to other concerts. One of the concerts that stand out would be Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings in Minneapolis. There we go. And the Teenage Prayers at the 400 Bar. Can I bring up a Minneapolis music thing? I was going to text this and I thought I would wait for the podcast to bring it up. I saw the Black Keys have a new album that came out.

[26:31]And on the album cover is a visual of Bryant Lake Bowl. Aaron, this is like right up your alley. You love like this. You like the Minneapolis spots. I love Bryant Lake Bowl. And the bands. What do you think of that? I think it's marvelous. When I lived on Replacements Guy's couch, he was living in the... Matt, could you tell Rob where Bryant Lake Bowl is located maybe? You know I pulled it up already. Well, it's right at Bryant and Lake. I mean, it's... It's like Lake Street. Yes.

[27:00]Bryant. So, you know, it's kind of like they called it Bryant Lake Bowl because it's right at... Rob, that's people's favorite part of the podcast. Russell, hearing about Bryant Lake Bowl, I'm like, oh my God. Bryant Lake Bowl makes me think about your haircut. West of 35, but like, you know, east of the lake. So, kind of right in between where the lakes and then 35 is. It's across from the Dunn Brothers. That's still there. When I lived with Replacements Guy, we lived basically in the parking lot of Bryant Lake Bowl. And some nights, I didn't have a key to the place and he did.

[27:31]And so, some nights when I got off of work, I would have to go find him either at Bryant Lake Bowl or the Herkimer so that I could go home. Which meant that I had to drink some beer first. I love the idea that Aaron's... Herkimer on Linnan Lake. Linnan Lake, just north of Lake Street on Linn. So, Linnan Lake. And then you can go over two blocks. Abbott and then Bryant. So, that's Bryant Lake Bowl. Two blocks to the west. Knock hockey at that bar, right, Matt? Knock hockey. Knock hockey? At Herkimer? What is knock hockey, Russell?

[28:01]Knock hockey, you would like take this little chain thing and you'd slam it against the wall. It's kind of like air hockey, but it's no air. Okay. So, I... I don't understand a goddamn thing you're saying. You take a chain thing, you slam it against the wall. It's like air hockey with no air. It's like a disc. What? It's like you're playing air hockey, but there's no air bubbling out of a table. It's like you slam this little metal disc across the side. You bounce it off the side and it's got to go into the goal. Well, now I get it.

[28:31]I can't believe I ever didn't. Seems so clear in my mind. I'm going to have to look it up. Knock hockey. Aaron. Yeah. Why don't you talk more about your life? Don't skip it. Just because I... Because I'm a fucking drunk idiot tonight. No. Let's talk more about what's going on. That's it. That's the most important. That's a whole lot of stuff. How's it rolling going with Matt? I see what you're saying, Russell. Knock hockey. You can see it now what I'm talking about. It's really just air hockey, but it's like no air. And it's like the knock without the K and the C.

[29:02]You just don't know which K we're talking about. That's deep. Wow. See, Rob, I wasn't making it up. I had... Something that happened to me that maybe signifies I'm getting old. You don't have a song of the week? No way. Yeah, I do have a song of the week. Please. That's my favorite part. Did you buy an Eames chair for $7,400? I can't believe Aaron has an $8,000 chair. Oh, God. I can't believe I revealed that. That was such a dumb move.

[29:30]$8,000. $8,000 chair. We didn't pay that much for it. But again, I don't know how much we paid, but... You didn't pay $700 for it. I'll tell you that. It's a great chair. So, Rob, will you please... I don't think we listened to this one. Tell me if we listened to it. But I've got it in my notes still to play it. Will you play Wholehearted by Xtreme, please? By Xtreme? Xtreme? You guys, it doesn't matter what you type. If the right stuff comes up, why would I ever type the right thing? It doesn't make any sense. I heard this on...

[30:00]I forget if it was on The Current or something else. And I'm like, damn, that's a good song. I think I got to add this one to the top 100 list eventually. This is Xtreme 2. Your album, Porno Graffiti. Porno Graffiti. What a great name. The more you say it, the more of a great name it is. Porno Graffiti. Porno Graffiti. I went to yoga this morning. And Saturdays, I'm quickly learning is the hardest yoga class of the week. Why is that? I don't know.

[30:30]I don't know. But there's also the most people there. And, you know, I always try to be in the front of the class. I'm not the creepy guy looking at everybody from the back kind of thing. So I'm up front, which is kind of nice. Because then... Then you're just, I don't know, you're just looking at a wall and not all the people there. But then everyone's looking at you. And I don't care. Drink it in. And I don't care. I'm not worried about that. Oh, man. Right? I'm not worried about that. Let them get a look. You know, but they're so close that when you turn sideways, I mean, like, you have to stagger so that you're not doing it.

[31:00]Oh, you're that close. It's close. Yeah. I mean, there's probably 45 people in this little... And so, you know, hard class, really... Sweating my balls off, right? It was just, it was a hard class. I come home and, you know, I got to take a shower, all that good stuff, got ready for the day. And I, you know, had to use the facility. So I come down... To your basement. Yep. Where there is a bidet. That's nice. That's, you know, that's where things go.

[31:31]But when I was reaching around, I got instant side cramp. Oh, no. The hardest side cramp I've ever gotten in my life. Oh, no. Never happened to me before. Yep. And so, I can't tell if I'm getting old or if it was just dehydrated or what the deal was. But, you guys ever get any cramps? If only you had a device that would give you so much more water than you could possibly handle. Honey, I think I'm dehydrated. You still need, you still got to wipe once or twice.

[32:00]I mean, it's not a be all, end all. You still got to... No, out. I'm out. Sharks, I'm out. Yeah. So, have you guys ever had a cramp that bad in a worse spot? Sitting on the shitter? Nah. That's it. That's the... Yeah, directly after making love to my wife, I get an insane hamstring cramp every time. Every time. It's almost every time now. Yeah, it's like I can't sleep. I have to go run that warm water over it. It's the worst. How about this, man?

[32:30]Just one hamstring? Have you woken up lately with like a bad neck? No. When that shit happens now, I know it's going to be like four days of me not being able to turn my head. It happens to me probably three times a year. It's terrible. So, you're a world... I mean, you're legit, Rob. Legit. World-class squatter. Well, no. Squad better than most. I mean, I love Rob. Rob's one of my best friends. I love him, respect him and everything, but like... World record. We always talk about how he's this world champion. He doesn't compete against anyone. Rob, can you address how come no one competes against you on these championships?

[33:02]You are your only... This is so good. Your best competition. You're the only one who can qualify. You're going to compete against yourself. Russell, I can only play the teams that are in front of me. That's true. There's nothing else I can do. I would love to have this. Hey, we'll see. I'm going to Worlds pretty soon, hopefully. On to Indianapolis. So, you are a world-class athlete, squatter. How do you get cramps in your legs? Is that like a squatting thing? Yeah, I'm not drinking nearly enough water. My legs are always very exhausted.

[33:31]Got you. They're always tired. And I got a new coach who... He said, no. The only time you can go work out at the gym is late at night. Yeah. Makes me go late at night. She doesn't want me around. Staying up late, when you just want to be in bed, going to sleep. I mean, staying up late is the worst. It's just the worst. You said it wasn't because she was cheating on me with my old coach. So, you're going to clear that. Yeah. Did you ask her that or did she just come out and tell you that information?

[34:01]She came out and told me, yeah. A lot of times. She yelled it at me. Matt, did this cramp in your side, did it go away like after a day or was it like a week-long pain? Oh, no. No, just after a little bit. But, I mean, I went like... It was just... It was shocking. It never happened to me before. These things, when you're getting older, when they never happened to you before... Not good, is it? I get it because I think you... I bet you were dehydrated, too, because I went to yoga. I thought of you because I went to yoga last weekend. I went to hot yoga and I was sweating my buns off in there and it was crazy.

[34:31]And I was just like dehydrated the rest of the day. That's what I do, 95 degrees and then you add 45 people in there. It was crazy. Wow, I've never done the hot yoga. Wow. It's the best. It's something. But I do... I'm sweating like crazy in there. It's like jiu-jitsu. One of my number one concerns at jiu-jitsu is like when I have to mount somebody and get on top of them so we can practice a move. Hey, Rob, could you slow down so I can type this down? I'm trying to keep notes here. Yeah, yeah. Type this down. When you're wetting, what are you doing? Mount someone. And about three times in the last month, sweat has come off my face onto somebody else's

[35:03]face during jiu-jitsu. Like, how can you even apologize for it? Or as I call it at home, missionary style. Oh, God. So that's my setup, Rob, is I've got... You know, I use one of the mats from the gym, but I have a towel. You know, I put a towel over it, and that thing, I mean, it's just... It's unbelievably so good. When a woman says, oh, I want to use a mat, do you ever say, well, you'll never believe what my name is? Hey, spray and wipe down the mats.

[35:32]It's not a come up. It's not a come up. All right. All right. Just a question. Opportunities missed. Put it in your tickler files. I'm going to think about it. Wipe down the mats. Russell. Okay. Rolling, going. How's it going with you? Hey, Russell, you know what I'm changing my names to? Eames Lounge Chair in Ottoman. Aaron, you have a legitimate $8,000 chair. You can sit on me. Come on. Matt probably sat in it when he was here, but I didn't make a thing of it. I would never sit in an $8,000 chair. No, come on and sit in it. That's a friendship waiting to end. Dude, could you... How much...

[36:00]Rob, hold on. Time out. Yeah. How much is your mattress? We were drunk when we bought that. We've talked about this. Jenny and I got drunk, and we purchased a mattress. And it did cost... It cost $12,000. No. In my life. No. The mattress did cost $12,000. He's making fun of Aaron with a chair. He's got to smoke. That's so fucking insane. That's insane. And the mattress was delivered. No. The mattress was delivered. No. It was given to us. Once it was delivered, you canceled the credit card? We got on.

[36:30]No. We got on the mattress. And I'm going to give you guys one guess. Do you think Jenny liked the mattress? When we bought it? Or did she complain about it? After we paid $12,000 for a mattress? I can't. I can't. $12,000, Russell. Goodbye. If that mattress can't... Now, Russell, do you want to guess? Does this mattress seem to be holding up better than any mattress we've ever had? Where it's not, my side is all low. Because the mattress is too big and heavy for us to rotate it every month like we're supposed to.

[37:00]It's falling apart. If you have to stay on the far, far 10% of the mattress. You got to stay so far away. You only get a little slice. What do you think is going to happen? If I can only stay on this far end of the mattress, right? Yeah. No, the mattress is falling apart. It's just like every other mattress. Do not buy a $12,000 mattress. You are getting ripped off. I told you guys when we bought that mattress, Jenny, we were drunk. And we went into Bloomingdale's. And we got on the bed. And Jenny said, yeah, to the lady selling it to us. She goes, yeah, we need to buy a new bed because you fucked me too hard.

[37:32]She said it as a joke. She said it? She said that as a joke. Oh, no. Okay. Nobody thought it was funny. Nobody was happy about it. I was not happy about it. The worker was not happy about it. Because, I mean, that's what's implied. And when you look at me, you know what I mean? It's like when my wife was pregnant, we went to the appointment. And the doctor goes, yeah, your baby has short little legs and a huge torso. And I was like, hey, we're all looking for the guy who did this. You know what I mean? No, nobody thinks it's implied that you.

[38:00]Oh, God, I can't even. Oh, I'm sorry, Russell. You don't think I can talk about deep dicking the mother of my children? Russell can't even say that out loud. Russell, you are talking about the mother of two children. Okay. Who I actually take to pound town. Okay. So bad that we broke the bed, Russell. Hey, this person has given life. She made life. Okay. And I jackhammered her so hard into the pavement of our bed that it broke.

[38:31]And we had to get a new one. And she told the workers about it. You didn't break the frame. You broke. The actual mattress? No, I think it was the frame. I don't know. Yeah, it was the frame that broke out. But we were like, oh, let's get a mattress. You know what? Let's go to brunch. Let's get a couple of drinks and go buy a bed. What could possibly go wrong with that decision? Is it going to set us back years? Financial years, it's going to set us back maybe. So the moral of the story is, is that Aaron's $8,000 chair doesn't seem so bad.

[39:00]Not so bad. No, it's bad. Because at least two of us can sleep on a bed, Aaron. I mean, it's a big bed. It's huge. A chair, that's crazy. Chair is just me or my son if he's. I'm going to read an X-Men read. Aaron has invited Matt out to his house. I was out in the Bay Area, Aaron. I never got the invite. I know you probably have not got the invite, Rob. But like, Rob, can you imagine you show up at Aaron's house and you go sit in that $8,000 chair. The whole time he's thinking, that motherfucker. Better not break my fucking $8,000 chair.

[39:31]No way, never. That is a mortgage payment for like 90% of the country. And Aaron's like, that's just my chair. That thing's got, you can see if you go right where it hinges a little bit. Yeah. I bet, man, you'd probably exercise those hinges. Aaron would be pissed. He would be pissed. Yeah. Russell, now I know Russell's putting that. Can you imagine if I said, Russell, come over to my house and hang out for a while. Russell's not coming to my house. No way.

[40:00]Yeah, Russell. Hey, yeah, you're in San Francisco. Why don't you come over and hang out at my house. I got to go do something fun. I got to do something fun. My kid wants to meet you and show you some Legos. No, I would sit in that chair and I'd be like, oh my God, Aaron, I broke your chair. I'm so sorry. Listen, I feel terrible. Let me just write you a check. And they'd say with a chair, I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Of course. I can pay for 12 French screens for the amount of this chair. Hey, Aaron, I was in the bathroom and I knocked over something that said Fabergé egg.

[40:31]Let me write you a check for that real quick. Okay. But I will say, guys, having your wife tell the bedroom. Person that you got fucked too hard. No. Is awesome. And I'm going to edit this out of the podcast because this is a bit I'm working on. And I'm trying to think of how to make it. We know you're not going to just tell them. No, I am going to edit this out because it combines two words too close together. I got to figure out how to word it. Oh, Chris. But the other day, and this is true. We had, for the first time, a child walked in on Jenny and I having sex. Oh, God.

[41:00]And this was. First time? Yep. First, because they know to knock. They know to, you know, like, because when you're in an apartment, you just kind of have to like. We just knock. And they didn't. And it was not good for anybody. And I was like, hey. And then they closed the door. Of course, never discussed it again. Never talked about it. Oh, my God. But Jenny did turn to me. And when we were talking about it, I was like, oh, you know, that's. Well, that just happened. You know, you kind of. Because you know what you're thinking. It's like. There's no way they're going to open the door again.

[41:31]You know what I mean? So we're safe. Which one of us is going to get up and lock the door? There's no way. So now we can really go crazy. Turn off the noise machine. Let's go. Turn off the noise machine. She goes, yeah, I think she saw your huge cock. And I was like, that's the nicest thing that anybody's ever said to me. Well, we all know your kids. At least one of them has seen you naked before.

[42:00]Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I'm a nude guy around the house. I'm naked all the time. Sometimes I when I now that my kids are older, when I walk out, I do hold my phone in front of my crotch. Which is why I have an iPhone XL. All right. But. That's why I use an iPad for a phone. Also, can somebody tell me where are we in the show right now? I think you got to call me to do rolling. Rolling, going. Rolling, going. Aaron, I was going with you. No. I'm going to do a lightning round. Can I do a lightning round again?

[42:30]Because I don't have enough organization. Lightning round. My brother, we've talked about he has a resort up north. Mm hmm. I decided. A week ago, instead of doing the four hour drive, I'm doing the 45 minute flight. What are you guys on the super short flight? I love it. You did it. I did it. What do you guys think? That's a baller move, man. OK, so here's this is Joe from Woodbury's thing, right? Your time is worth 100 bucks an hour. Yeah.

[43:00]How long is the drive? Four hour drive. Four hour drive. Was the ticket less than four hundred dollars? Yes. Yes. It was 260. Yeah. All day. No brain. Yeah. But here's the thing is that I know Russell is showing up at the airport earlier than he needs to. Yeah, but that's not all the man might as well get a nice little meal and a couple of drinks out of it. And then sure, you can take a phone call. You can read a book. You hear that? We upstairs room and I, we go up to the Coles resort up in Brumagee, Minnesota.

[43:30]And you swap capital of Minnesota. Wife's off capital. You know what? I've decided when you're going up north, you don't want to do like a two day trip. You don't want to go up north. You don't want to go up north. You don't want to go up on a Friday, back on a Sunday. You got to go up Thursday. I've reached the point. I don't want to drive up in shitty weather in Minnesota, in northern Minnesota when the roads are bad. So let's like, let's try to fly. We go up. We do the 45 minute flight. Check this shit out. I get fucking upgraded. I'm first class bitches. So this is MSP to Bemidji?

[44:01]Where do you fly to? Yeah. Bemidji. Bemidji. So Minneapolis to Bemidji. It's, it's legit. You, you're not even up in the air. You're up in the air before they say, we're going to be starting our descent here in 20 minutes. Yes. Yep. Here's the question. You get upgraded. You get upgraded to first class. Would you rather sit first class next to someone you don't know or in the back of the plane where you've got your own road to yourself? Ooh.

[44:31]How big of a plane is it? Pretty, pretty small. Probably fits a hundred people on it. Yeah. You got to go first class. Russell, you got to go first class. You take the upgrade. Hey, Rob, I took the upgrade and the upstairs roommate. She had to sit in the back of that. Oh no, you took the upgrade without her? Ooh, I didn't quite get that. What are you doing? Aaron, if you, if you, if you got an upgrade, would you let your wife take the upgrade? You would have sat in the back? Yeah. Oh, we got to turn this, we got to turn this episode off.

[45:00]Let's, no, no, let's cut this episode. We're done. We're done. So like she had to walk by you sitting in first class. Did you look at it? Did you make eye contact with her? Here's the funniest thing, Rob. So I'm in first class and I'm in the very front row. And when you're in the very front row, you don't even have like a pocket to put your stuff and you only have a wall. So she had to take your bag. The upstairs roommate walks by and I'm just like, I shoo her away from me because I am trying to figure out where I'm going, where am I going to put my free bottle of water?

[45:31]Where am I going to put my cocktail? Where am I going to put my phone? I don't have any place to put it when I'm sitting in first class. If you could just keep moving it along to the back of the plane, I would appreciate it. Right? Russell, can I ask you this? I happen to know some people like your roommate. Does the roommate, does your roommate, I'm just going to, we're not going to like, let's make this a theoretical thing. Theoretical. Do you think if somebody like your roommate got on a plane, would they have a, the correct amount of stuff?

[46:00]B, not enough stuff. Okay. Or C, way, way, way, way too much. So, one thing I've realized is when you're traveling with someone who likes to have way too much stuff, here's the other thing. We're checking bags. I'm a Delta member. Wow. We're checking two bags. So, we're dropping off bags, Matt. No carry, we're just backpacks. No carry-ons other than backpacks.

[46:30]You're raw dogging it. You're raw dogging it. We're raw dogging it. So, we do have to wait 10, 5, 10 minutes. Then we get to Northern Minnesota for our bags to be brought out. Yeah. You can put it, you can put as many powders in that bag as you want. It's getting checked. So, what'd you, did you rent a car when she got there? What was your, what was your mode of transportation? My brother, my brother came and picked us up from the airport. Yes. So, on the way back, the whole time I'm thinking, I'd probably, there's part of me that would

[47:01]just rather have like the back of the plane in like a seat by myself where I'm not sitting next to it. I get up. I get upgraded again. Oh. Did I, did I? Guys, the image of Russell wearing his Oakleys of the podcast, listening to the Billion Dollar Man theme song, talking about getting upgraded and leaving his partner in the back of the plane. And not only leaving her, but when she walked by and she tried to like make conversation,

[47:34]I shooed her away. Yes. Because when you're in a plane, you're like, I'm not going to leave her. You're in your first class. That's your first class. Yeah. You should have done the, uh, oh, that's my, you know, that's my sister. She couldn't afford the ticket. So I was able to get her one last minute, but I like to help out, you know, I will say this though, Rob, we went to the Minneapolis airport and we, I did not do anything inappropriate at the Minneapolis airport.

[48:01]So we go to the airport. Have you guys like, I know Rob. Rob has spent a lot of money at like Buffalo wild wings and getting salads from vending machines and all that. Have you ever like went to like one of these restaurants at the airport, had a few drinks and meal, like, like a full meal. Yeah. When you, when you pay like a couple hundred bucks at the airport, it is enraging, isn't it? A couple hundred bucks. Okay. Let's just real clear.

[48:33]How much money did you pay for a meal at the airport? We went to like a state. Steakhouse. I don't even know where we went, but all I noticed, I was like, we need to get on this air. We need to get on this plane and get the fuck out of this city right now. I am so jealous of Russell's life. Like he is eating at a steakhouse in the airport. He is living the baller life. I am stealing candy for my kids. Dogging it onto the airplane. Okay. And he's getting first class getting on the steakhouse Russell. So we, so here's the question I really had.

[49:01]We go up north. We had talked, maybe we would record a week ago. Mm-hmm. And I, well, we had it planned. We had, we had a plan. Yeah. Actually it was on the calendar. It was planned. It was planned. Yeah. And it seemed that we all knew what was going on. We all understood what was going on. There was a, there was a plan where you're going to record. And I, uh, I mentioned to the upstairs roommate that I know we're going up north, but I'm going to be doing recording a podcast while we're up there. And I was told, no, you're not. Oh, and I said, John, John loves Yoko.

[49:32]Huh? I said, typically you were asleep by the time we recorded. This podcast. So I don't see the issue. I was told, no, you're not. Wow. So we get up, I, I text you guys and I said, I had a misunderstanding. I cannot record this week. Yeah. Reasonable. And part of it, it was like, if I'm going, if I'm taking someone up to my family's thing, upstairs roommate is probably in the right. Like if, if, if, if you're coming to my family and you're like, Hey, you can't take me up

[50:03]here and then not spend time. I 100% right. Bail to the lodge to record. The real question is eight 30 rolls around on, on Friday night, upstairs, roommates asleep eight 30. You knew, you knew. Yeah. Your upstairs roommate or Rob or Matt or Aaron, your spouse, your significant other, you knew they weren't going to make it up that late. What are your thoughts?

[50:31]Did you, did you think about some of the bad signal? I almost set out the bad signal, but I was worried. If the upstairs roommate woke up and found out there would be a problem. Have you guys ever tried to record Matt's recorded Matt goes up to his cabin. Rob's recorded the cabin before you guys ever as, as, as your significant other ever said, you cannot record. You got to shut this shit down. It feels like every once in a great while, there's something going on like a night out

[51:00]or a birthday or something. Yeah. I've had, I've had a few where it's like, that's the schedule. We record so goddamn late. It's just usually again, it's okay. Sarah is asleep and does not want to even come close to staying up for the time that we are recording this thing. So I will say this, the, obviously the noise and stuff, we've talked about that a lot, but what really used to get me in trouble, Russell was editing it's editing and, and I would skip things to edit the podcast.

[51:30]And she would be so mad at that. Cause in the beginning, it took me a long time. I can edit it now very quickly, but now what it is, it's the next day. If I have any, any, if I step out of line at all, any disagreement, any sorta like, why, what are you thinking? Like, can you just explain to me why you did or said that? Or like, actually I'm in the kitchen first. So you can't get mad at me for being in the kitchen when, just cause you're hungry, you know, stuff like that. It's pointed out that I stayed up too late the night before and that's why I'm always

[52:01]so grouchy. So that is a classic move that is pulled at my house is blaming the podcast for me being grouchy. Aaron, do you ever get blamed those podcasts ever get blamed for anything or no? Yeah. No, I mean, but I wouldn't say it gets blamed, but I do have to like, I mean, my son now stays up to like nine or nine 30, so I do have to like, try to stop whatever we're doing and get on. Cause I know I'm keeping you guys up too late. So it'd be, you know, it's like, it's like, can be a little bit like we're rushing the,

[52:31]the evening routine. No, there was the one time when I recorded, when we were in Tahoe and that was like, no, maybe don't do that. Maybe don't do that again. But otherwise, no, this was the first time where I was explicitly told, because I waited, we're going to the airport, we're in the cat, we're going in the Uber to the airport headed up Thursday night. I was like, this is a heads up, we're going to do the podcast tomorrow night. And I was told you were not doing the podcast for you. Here's my real question.

[53:00]Russell is what do you say the next day? Okay. So you're up there. He had fallen asleep. No way. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Question. Hold on. Stop. Stop. Hold on. Russell. You got to take your earphones. Do we think that Russell said anything like side sidebar? Do we think Russell said anything? I bet. Yes. I bet. A hundred. I'm putting a hundred dollars that he said. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was there with his eyes open. And when she woke up, he was like, what the fuck?

[53:32]And it was as passive aggressive. Yeah. It really was. Matt is like, like, oh yeah, I, I, uh, geez, I just didn't have much to do last night or something like that. What would it be like? Oh, I noticed you fell asleep real early. Something like that where she would have to bring it up and he'd be like, I didn't bring it up. You brought it up. All right. Russell, come on back. Come on back. I'll just say, uh, for those of you that think I may be a passive aggressive person, you don't know me well at all. I'm just very straightforward. And I'm just like, damn, I could have been fine. We could have recorded last night because you were asleep two hours before we were getting, uh, I'm just saying. And how'd that go? I don't know. Cause I noticed your, I noticed you're kind of trailing off there and not saying how the

[54:09]rest of that conversation went. Well, I'm starting to hear some stomping around upstairs, so we might have to move it along. Rob, how's it going? Rolling, going with you. Just Russell. If you just, you know what I say sometimes I accept your apology, okay. That one love it. They think it's great. Rob, Rob, uh, please don't talk to me while I'm sitting up here. Can you just move it along?

[54:30]Rolling, going, how's it going with you? Listen. Okay. Listen. TikTok. Okay. This is now the part of the show where I watch a TikTok with you guys and we talk about the TikTok. I saved this one because I thought of you. What? This is a worker at the Mustang ranch in Nevada. Now, let's look at Nevada. Mustang ranch. Mustang ranch. Now, of course, this is a sex worker ranch, uh, where you can. First of all, Rose, first of all, Aaron, I mean, what, what do you call it? Nevada. Like a smart guy.

[55:00]Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. It's Nevada. Yeah. Nevada. Aaron, how do you say Nevada? Nevada. Yeah. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. St. Olav. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Rob, Rob, Rob just pulled up a picture of the world famous Mustang ranch. My first, uh, thoughts when I see it is. What? Like the per, the guy who's got to go to the, um, the, the ranch, if you will, for sexual

[55:34]favors. That's way out in the middle of nowhere. Like, why do they, why did they make you walk up a huge staircase beforehand, Rob? Like, can you imagine you take limo out to the Mustang ranch and then you see like, you're, they're going to make me walk up a huge fucking stair flight before I go in there. Leg cramp. Oh, so, so, you know, it's like a date when you're on an early date and you have to walk up stairs and you have to act like you're not breathing hard. You're like. Yeah, I guarantee that place is closer to Rosie's house than it is to Las Vegas. I'll tell you what. They keep saying.

[56:00]I would not know. They keep saying like, oh yeah, we're in Las Vegas. We're in the, we're in. Look at that. That's closer to your house, isn't it? That's true. Yeah. It's not that far from Lake Tahoe. This is a seven hour drive from Las Vegas. This place is like Rosie going down to St. Louis to meet that girl. What was that story again? He did something like that. Anyway, we don't have time. So here's the thing. What? Right. Is that she works at the Mustang ranch and she is now going to tell us that per year, we're going to have to go to Las Vegas. We don't have time. And she is a sex worker. You can pay her and do sexual things with her. But the Mustang ranch also has other like perks for their members. And Russell, I was thinking maybe we could watch this. You could tell your brother about it. See if any of these would fit into Cole's resort. I think that would be a good thing. Can I ask you a real question? So you're Rob's got this video up of a woman. I mean, I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie, but I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie.

[56:30]I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. Can I ask you a real question?

[57:04]I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. Can I ask you a real question? I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie.

[57:34]I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie.

[58:00]I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie.

[58:30]I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I don't know. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I don't know. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. I'm not sure if you're a fan of the movie. But if you need a shot, come over and see me and we can do butt stuff. Is that the bit? I feel like that wasn't the bit before. Okay, bye, Russell. Russell, can we?

[59:00]The butt stuff is a new addition to the bit. That's the new, that's Dirty Grandma Canon, which is a search term for later. We didn't even get to Rob's TikTok. I feel responsible for what just happened. Russell, we're all looking for the guy who doesn't want to watch the sex worker TikTok. So these are perks, again, that you get at the ranch. Okay, let's hear it. Okay, well, Russell has his notebook out. I don't know why he's taking it. Okay, here we go. Ranch offers a lot of perks to clients that you may not know about. One of them being the bar.

[59:30]If you just walk into our bar and order a drink, you do have to pay for it with card or cash. Now, Russell, let me ask you this. Are you going out to this brothel in the middle of nowhere? And just because they make a really good old-fashioned, how good of an espresso martini would they have to go? If you walk into the bar, you do have to pay for it. You do have to pay for the drink, Russell. Are you going? Now, Russell, would it be? It would be fun to go to a brothel where you know you aren't going to purchase any sex. But just sit at the bar where there's a guaranteed beautiful women around? Do they have TVs or no TVs? They only have cartoons on.

[60:01]All right, here we go. But if you book with a lady, it might be on the house. Oh, free drinks. It's like when you go gamble in Vegas. You can go play blackjack and get free drinks all night. Did you notice what she said, though? It's on the house? No, that's not what she said. Do you want me to rewind it? No, let's rewind. Okay, listen to this. If you book with a lady, it might be on the house. Your lawyer brain doesn't activate there? It might be on the house. There's not even a guarantee that you're paying hundreds of dollars.

[60:33]Could you imagine, Rob? You book this evening, and then at the end, they're like, oh, yeah, you owe me another $12.50 for that gin and tonic. I put in extra cherries, and that was an extra dollar upcharge. You didn't realize that. That would be such a bummer. You tipping on that drink, Russell? And you know, like the guy who came in the day before, they didn't charge him $12.50 for that.

[61:00]Yeah, that would be. Hey, that was on the house. I'm sure they don't charge like a normal rate. Like, it's got to be $22 for a drink, right? Oh, for sure. Or, yeah, for sure. It's got to be expensive drinks, because you know what I would get there, Russell? What's that? Long Island iced tea. You want as much? Booze possible, right? Biggest one, let's go. We're not messing around. I drove seven hours to get out here. Here we go. The perks you receive will depend on how much money you spend with your lady. And because it's not legal for me to talk about pricing with you,

[61:32]I would if I could, I promise, but I can't say anything. So we're not a hotel, but we can accommodate you if you book with one of our ladies. Man, are we planning our next trip to Vegas? Because I have a crazy idea for where to stay. Well, we're obviously going. We usually plan about six. Six months out. It's a little early. We could maybe get a free round of drinks. Guys, it's not a hotel, but they can give you a room if you book with one of the ladies. This could be a cheap hotel.

[62:01]It might be able to. It might be. Because now listen to this. We can even accommodate you in your own special suite overnight without your lady. Russell, is that tempting to you? To stay at this place as a hotel? As a gag? It would be a fun gag, right? She kind of mentioned you would have your own room. I don't ever get my own room in Vegas. I always have. Just to stay with one of you guys. I probably take the deal. Russell takes the deal. I mean, solid reasoning. I get a free drink in my own room.

[62:30]I'll pay it for it. Dave made me pay for his drink last time. This is terrible. All right. Which is usually not a possibility. We have staff for every one of the ladies' needs, including going out and running errands for us. So, sometimes we'll even lend you our personal drivers to take you to and from the hotel or the airport. I get an Uber driver, too? Why is it all this sometimes stuff? She said sometimes. Sometimes? I mean, Aaron, if you go in there and you're like, listen, is it in? You know what I mean?

[63:00]Like, it's just not going well. You get out and she's like, yeah, you better call an Uber. What's it going to be like that? You know what I mean? Like, the driver's right there. And again, we've talked about it before, but that driver coming to pick you up. When you're an Uber driver and you see coming from the world-famous Mustang Ranch, you're like, okay, do I really want to take this? I know it's going to be a long drive. I know it's going to be a long drive. I know it's going to be a long drive. I know it's going to be a long drive. Okay, but this is going to be awkward. It's going to be seven hours. Yeah, it's like when you see your friends coming out of the bungalow next to you. You know everybody's had sex. Everybody knows it. All right, here we go.

[63:30]Can you imagine being at the Mustang Ranch? You're like, I need to get an Uber to the CVS to pick up some oatmeal cream pies. You're like, I'm sorry. That previous promise about the Uber driver. Yeah. We don't really, my Uber driver might not be able to take you there. Okay, well, you can just send dinner up to my room. That I've privately here. Wait, what? I don't. My bags are all up front. There's no dinner. Yeah. Excuse me. Can you, can you imagine telling a driver?

[64:00]Can you go to the CVS and pick me up some of those oatmeal cream pies? I might be able to. Hey, the only one they had was an open box and one was missing, but it was at the store. What are we watching? I don't even know what we're doing. Here we go. Next part. An exorbitant amount of money to take a taxi out here again. Oh, can you imagine if you're a taxi cab guy and you take a guy to the Mustang ranch, how much you charge him? You'd be like, pay me $500. The guy'd be like, what?

[64:30]He'd be like, yeah. What are you going to do? Pay me. Otherwise, give me your phone. I'm going to call wife on the phone. Like, you know what I'm going to do. Here we go. Matt and I had to wait in line like an hour just to get a cab to the, the, the airport. I can't imagine how long we would have waited for the Mustang ranch. Meanwhile, Aaron pulls up to the Mustang ranch and guess what he's got? Fast pass. He gets in there. He gets in there right away. Anyway, lightning, lightning pass. He sits down in a chair. He's like, well, this chair is not very nice. What is this? A $5,000 chair? Anyway, how much do I have sex with you?

[65:00]Oh, you can't talk about it out here. Okay. Who have already booked with their lady or have placed a deposit for a future appointment. It turns out that this place takes deposits as well for future appointments. How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[65:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[66:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[66:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[67:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone? How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[67:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[68:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[68:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[69:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[69:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[70:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[70:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

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[73:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[74:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[74:50]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

[75:20]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?

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[99:49]How horny are you that you're making a deposit to go have sex with someone?