Nina Simone: Wild is the Wind (1966)

[0:00]Now, my kid's in her room listening to Bob Marley, so I think everything's fine. She just got back from the party. Everything's good. She asked me how many holes of straw I have. She and their plane burned one down. Yeah. I think everything's fine. She asked me if we have any cardboard tubes and laundry. What do you call those? Laundry sheets? I don't know. I guess she's doing a craft project. She just grabbed an apple and went straight to her room. Oh, my God. I cannot tell you how many times when we were on that Lutzen ski trip, It'd be a certain person who maybe I had room with who we'd always be there and be like, Hey, you want to smoke some weed? I'd be like, yeah, of course I do. This would rule. I'm in a ski lodge with college buddies and I'm an adult. This is a great need to be like, okay, we got to find a can or an apple. I was like, what? Hey, Wes, whatever you guys do, though. What's up? Never. Don't.

[1:00]Don't. Don't do it. Just don't do it, guys. Okay. What's your limit, Matt? Matt, we missed you a week ago. We talked about how I was playing blackjack two weeks ago and I had to lend. I sat down. I was playing blackjack and this guy that I know professionally. Where was I? We skipped you. Rob replaced you with nobody. Oh, fuck. He didn't even get a fillet for you. He did nobody. He did the Clint Eastwood, like set up an empty chair. He was like, this is Matt. Yeah. I got to do two rolling goings. Can we just say this real quick? I just want to, let's go. We pull back the curtain and here's how it went. You know, Rob had, Rob was in South Africa two weeks, two plus weeks. Right. Guys, we got to record. We're going to record. I'm like, Hey, I'm on vacation. I can't do it. Oh no. And I said, but just go ahead without me. Okay, let's go. Let's see if we go Friday Saturday. Like Russell, a couple of weeks ago like it was like, oh man, we're like, we were Just, should we do it? Should we not do it? We were like.

[2:00]Just hemming and hawing for days about it. In 13 seconds, Rob. Nope. We'll do it. You guys even canceled a double episode. You did the one single for me when I was out, but you canceled the double. Rob was like, fuck it. You can only carry one. Let's go. I think honestly, I think all of us could be gone on this show except for Aaron. If Aaron was gone, this show would be. I couldn't be the main host. No, I couldn't be the main host. This is Rob. This is like a humble break where Rob's like, I think all of us. I think. I think I could be gone and the show would go on. You know what? I was out with some St. Olaf people a few weeks ago. We were watching our good friend, Manny, coach a great game in South St. Paul football. And one of our buddies, Joe from Woodbury said, I love the parts of the podcast where Rob leaves for about a minute and you guys just bomb and you have nothing to say. So no, we could not survive. Maybe we can do the show, but it'd be a lot faster. We can just do a 20 minute show. You know, it'd be like, no problem.

[3:00]So anyways, man, let me set this scene for you. Ross is at a blackjack table with somebody he knows kind of from work professionally. Okay. Well, but in your company or like, no, not someone I work with someone in our industry That I've met for maybe 15 combined minutes. Gotcha. Gotcha. He says, he's playing. He says, Hey, borrow me five bucks so I can double my bet. He, he says, sound with like no money, right, Matt? So he's not really playing. Give me five bucks so I can double my bet. Absolutely. Five. Throw it to him. He loses. Then he says, Hey, throw me 25 bucks so I can keep playing. So I haven't, I give him the money. He loses again. And then he asks for a third loan. And I finally, I say, no, I'm done. I'm done loading you money. What's your, what's your strategy? Are you loading? I would actually call him out. Like, so what am I, what can I expect this money back? What's your plan here? Like what's, what's going on here, Joe? So did the guy pay you? Did the guy pay you back?

[4:00]Not for the 30 I lent him. No, but I, I would imagine I'll never talk to him again, but I bet that's just kind of The, that's the cost to pay the boss, right? Like he just, I did it. I'm never going to get it back. Wow. Jeez. What can you imagine? It never even, Aaron, it never even dawned on me that I would get the money back. Yeah. You were like, Oh, this is good. This money's gone. Right. Is there a chance? This is like one of those, like you got to unlock the door to see if the girl Reaches across and opens the door for you or whatever kind of a thing. Or she unlocked. Was there any chance? This is like a test. No, no. You know, he's like, how far can I push Mr. Russell and how much will he give me if it's More than 50 bucks that I'm not doing business. Matt when someone sits down and they don't know what they're doing at the Blackjack table and they sit down, they just start throwing and they're like, you knew What? It was just a mess. Yeah. I will say this. So one of the first years we went to Vegas, Joe from Woodbury, one of our good friends, He goes to Vegas every year. He had an industry colleague that sat down with me and we were winning. And I lent him a lot of money.

[5:00]It was not Joe from Woodbury. Now, my good college friend who if like I've lent it, like if I let you guys money, I wouldn't Even think twice because I know you guys would give me the next day. You give me within a week or whatever. Yeah. But this is a guy I'd never met before. And he was kind of like he came off as like a Barney Big Nuts, like Big Spender type guy. He did. And I remember loaning the money. Except he was the guy who was like, oh, no, you don't buy drinks at the table. You go buy drinks in the bodega off the. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember I let this guy like a material sum of cash. And then I think I he lost and he was betting big money. And I just assumed I'd get it back. And then I eventually had to go to Joe from Woodbury and be like, hey, you got to pay me for this. And Joe did because he's he's a stand up dude. And then Joe, as the middleman, went and got the money back from him. Wow. Did he break some fingers? Yeah, really? Yeah. That would be embarrassing. I anytime I haven't paid somebody. It's always been one of the most embarrassing things of my life.

[6:00]I hate owing people money. I've said this more than once in the podcast. I still owe Russell for the room from twenty two. I think so. I think everything shakes out the end. Have Russell paid for this year's room, which is going to be a thousand dollars. Yeah. In twenty four. Friends decide to listen to everyone. Flamingo. Matt is Matt being real. What he says we're doing the flamingo this year is booked. Right. I did not book yet. But like that, you look, Russell, you tell me. Like that is the only place that is a hundred dollars cheaper than everything else. Now, the flamingo is classically a rundown casino. Russell, do you care how nice your hotel room is? Really? I mean, if the ladies of the night are a little cheaper, I'll sign up for it. Rob, bleep that. Rob, you have to bleep that out. We talked about this before. When I want to bleep something out, you got to bleep something out. Rob, she's standing upstairs. Ron, she's upstairs. Listen. Russell, we can never let all of our significant others know how much we spend with the ladies

[7:00]Of the night when we go to Vegas. Oh, God. Okay. I will never let them know exactly how many times we've gone with professional escorts. Okay. We definitely have done that. Do not. Yeah. Do not disclose the number. Yeah. If you think I'm less embarrassed about that than setting an alarm at 730 so I can run To the sports book to bet early college games. How about this year, Russell? Let's all write down what we eat when we're there and let's read it on air for our next Podcast. Do you want to do that instead? I thought the Spearmint Rhino was a petting zoo. I apologize. I thought the Rhino was a zoo. And I know we say it. We say it every year. We say it every year. Everybody always asks me, oh, do you guys like go to like any fancy restaurants? I go, no. I said, the group that I go with, I tell everybody at work and everything. I go, I said, here's, here's the group I go with. We could go spend a hundred dollars. We could go spend a hundred dollars at a steak place, but that is $95 more that they

[8:00]Cannot spend betting on sports when they can just go get a hot dog for five bucks. I'm doubling my Wagobi dose when I get down there. So I'm not going to eat anything. I'm going to be a gambling machine. We did the Gordon Ramsay burgers one year. That was like about a 35 down. We had it delivered. Didn't we? Like somebody, we did have to take out to the, like we had it like take out to the sports Book. It's the thing is when you gamble with money, you actually make more money. That's what a lot of people don't realize. It comes back. It's an investment. And if you lose it, well, then you just bet more because eventually you're going to get It back. Or if you're Aaron, you deduct that on your taxes. That's right. You need to itemize. I have $800 set aside currently for bubble grabs. It is going to make me so much money this year. I have a scheme. I have a system that is guaranteed to work. Okay. 100%. In 2020, four friends I saw that I saw it on Tik TOK, a hundred, four friends said, listen, Everyone in 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums

[9:00]Is decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that's celebrating the music, excoriated the order and led us To make this podcast. You know what? I'm doing this as loud as I want. Okay. Nobody controls me. Nobody tells me. Nobody tells me what to do. Yeah. We can tell. We are far from experts and promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own. Unless you disagree. Some guys run their house. Some guys run around their house. Beck did it better. I just thought if my kid comes in and slams the door, I'm going to be so mad. We're all the way up to album two. And from 1966, we have maybe the most intimidating singer I have heard yet on this list. She will let you know. And I don't think that indicates any weird mom issues I have. Okay. It's not a big deal that when I hear a forceful woman, I immediately get very scared. Okay. And I'm worried that it's Sunday night at five o'clock. I'm never going to hide these sandwiches in my pocket pants again. It's Nina Simone. I won't do it, mom. I promise. Wild is the wind. That would I don't know. You know what? I got to say, if my kid put sandwiches in their pocket and we wash it, I would be so

[10:00]Fucking pissed. I get it now. As an adult. It's terrible. Nina Simone. Wild is the wind. Listen, let's not mess around. Let's turn on K-Rob. Let's get right to it. Now, I'm going to say this is going to go down. I know we still did parody songs. What's this portion? What's this portion of the pod? I don't know. I don't recognize this. Is this a new? Is this a new thing? I think from now on, I'm going to do parody's nuts in your mouth. If you don't look out, I can't even think of anything. Got him. Now, listen, this is going to go down as my worst parody song ever. Parody Brown as I hide these eyes and slam it in your face. Parody Brown. Think how cool it would be to have two penises. You know what I mean? If you had two penises along with two balls, just think about it, guys. I'm just going to do one motion with my hands. So two in one and flip it. Yeah, you're ski racing. You're ski racing all the time. You're like what I mean? Like, you're really pulling. I don't like when Rob. It makes the jack off noises, though. It makes me feel very comfortable.

[11:00]What do you do? That's what he was doing until you said it. No one had to know that's what he was doing. Here's the question, Aaron. Would you do them both at the same rhythm? Like, or would you go like double time out? Like, well, it's like I, when I used to, when we used to go to Like cross country style, I used to like to drink the two for ones. Do I get the same? Like, instead of leaving one for the, like, instead of drinking them Sequentially, I like to drink them equally. Oh, that's fucked. That is so messed up. If you would drink them, like you drink them down evenly. That's like, do you get two for one beers? The Hercule back in the day, drink them even. That's so bad. R.I.P. Resonance. R.I.P. Hercule. How would you jerk it? If you had two dongs, we going milk in a cow style or are we doing Probably how you like weirdos try to lift your, when you, When you call that when you're dead lifting you got like The opposite. So maybe like inverted. That's who you're going to mix grip. One thumb up, thumb down.

[12:00]You're doing the Cisco and Ebert. You're doing the Cisco and Ebert jacket. I'm two dongs. Well, okay. Russell, how about you? You got two dongs. Are you doing the milking the cow or are you doing what we call the Inflating the bike tires where you're going like this at the same Time? I'm going cross arm over arm, Rob, right? Right to left, right. Like degeneration. Wow. You're going, you're actually doing two dicks for you. Teacher during the suck it years? Don't slam the door. Please. Okay. Come here. I have a Question to ask. Please. Ask her. She wants a bologna sandwich. That'll be a thing too. How are you? I lived on earth and they lived at Beatus. Oh boy. I have an almond joy candy bar in the fridge. Do you want it? It's like the one with

[13:00]Coconut in it. Okay. Good to go to bed. You're good. Ask her if she wants a bologna Sandwich. You want a bologna sandwich with cheese? Pass. She doesn't like sandwiches. I'm raising an Aaron. This is great. It says stuff like I don't like sandwiches. I love Sandwiches. What are you talking about? Hey, actually, you don't like sandwiches? You don't Like sandwiches? Get out of my house. Okay. I don't need you. She wants to speak with A real dead cool Ross from the year older than Rob. Can I ask you guys a question? Okay. Do you think storytelling is genetic? You know what I mean? Did you get a little more than you bargained for in there? A few more details than you were Expecting. Well, it's still going. Yep. Still going. We're trying to be quiet up here. Did

[14:00]You see how quiet she was talking to? See, we all know. We all know we live in a house Of horrors and we need to be quiet. Otherwise, we will be punished. We're like the kids Under the stairs with daddy running around to the leather stuff. Well, that took a turn. You did it, Rob. Your child made it home. It's, man, you're father. Never a doubt. Father of the year. I am a good parent. So let's play the other song that I had to Sing in front of my kid as she was getting ready to go to Halloween thing today. This is Going to go down as one of my worst parody songs, but it turns out when you sing with no Music in the background, it's really hard. So let's listen to K-Rob, K-R-O-B. Hey, Everybody. Welcome to K-Rob, K-R-O-B. I'm just here to wish Aaron some luck in his upcoming foursome. Oh, yeah. Oh, four women. Aaron's with a foursome of guys playing the field. Watches the balls with his eyes. They're out of bounds. It's revealed.

[15:00]He brings all his supplies. A big wood he wheels. Aaron likes when they're long. He gets to play and the other guys agree. Yeah. Aaron feels strong. He wants to be straight, But his balls seem to do what they please. So he hits his three wood while that feels. His shaft is whippy. Yeah, he bought it at Shields. Two of his balls hit a tree. Well, that soon will heal. Aaron is long. He's got a good lay. His ball's on a tee. And he's golfing good. Golfing good, man.

[16:00]Aaron, when you opened your work, have you golfed yet? Have you done your golf yet? No, the golf thing's probably happening in December. But I've been back to the driving Range a couple of times because if I can get one stick with me, then I go. It's been a while. Did you use my wrist video I sent you? I've not yet. I've not had the chance To use that video. I've been, I watched the video. I've been practicing in the basement, But I've not been back to the range to actually put it into practice, but I've been practicing With my swings in the basement. You've been swinging in the basement. Aaron is officially In old dad mode. He has gone to full old dad mode. I'm down there swinging the club. And does your wife at any point say, what are you doing? Why are you down there? Are you going to come up? No, she seems weird. She doesn't seem to miss me. Yeah. Well, let's go. Let's go to the record store together. All right. So listen. Okay. I've got Three guys here. This is back to the better. I've got three guys here. We're going to talk about Nina Simone. While is the wind? Okay. I've got Russell. Oh, and I didn't write a joke for that.

[17:00]Did I do the one about the Santa Maria Simone? Yeah, last week. What's the same week? That's right. No, you didn't. If you like pinta coladas, did I do that one? Russell. Okay. Is in Minneapolis. Russell, How are you doing? Rob, anything I have to give is not a lot to give if I'm giving it to you. Oh, Wow. Okay. Aaron, you're not next. Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Well, I don't really bone or really grown. Good, Rob. I woke up in between Memory and a dream. I think I got second hand high for my kid. Hey, Rob, would you mind calling me? My name tonight is the sweetest thing. I would like to be referred to as sweetest thing for the rest of the episode. Russell. Russell, Change your, change the name on the zoom call right there. There's so many risks with

[18:00]Changing a name on a zoom. I can't do it. Come on. It's for the bit. Come on. Norma Stitz. You're going to be softball admin pretty soon. Now listen, you guys got to tell me if I did this one before because I feel like I have, But I've done so many derivations of this joke. I'm not sure. I was talking to Aaron earlier And he was saying that the square root of 69 is eight something. We've done it. Okay. I thought that sounded familiar. That might have been the episode you replaced Matt with Nobody. Aaron was telling me that you should see the look on a genie's face when you asked For a third blowjob. Oh my gosh. What the hell? I can apologize to my uncle. I'm sorry you haven't Listened to this stuff. I can apologize to the genie, the Nina Simone estate too. The genie, The genie has to be like, are you sure? You can friend. Really? Like that's what happens when You find a genie is like a 13 year old boy. You're like, okay, I know exactly what I want.

[19:00]I'm set. There's nothing else on your list. You know, Rob, we have some 13 year old listeners. What would you say? Listen, Listen, genie rules. I'm making a couple of changes. Okay. We know you can't wish for Infinite wishes. Okay. Oh, I'm adding something. What's something else that you wish for? The three blowjobs Russell, what I just talked about. Sorry. Can you wish for a car that'll give you a blowjob and then you don't have to Oh, Aaron, what the hell? I'm just trying to figure out the rules here. Aaron, I got to put that into my second standup. I didn't even touch the things that would get you Off that you could buy. I don't think this song is on this album, but Rob, I just wanted to know That I just want a little sugar in my bowl. Let's talk about Nina Simone. I'm super stoked. Talk about Nina Simone. An Eames chair that gets you off. How much would you pay for that? Infinite, right? Same as a regular Eames chair. Plus like the footstool moves around a little bit or

[20:00]Not? The footstool moves around. Yeah, it moves around a lot, Russell. Have you guys ever seen There? Have you guys not? I don't want to talk about this too much, but have you ever seen Like really expensive male mask, budgetary advice devices? No. Like really where it looks like You're putting it into a car wash and it's like spinning around and going up and down. No. Neither am I. All right, so let's get to our voicemail. What color is that, Rob? Someone just got an all the joy behind Rob. I'm just going to let her go To bed before I make this joke. On one hand, who's to say that those devices wouldn't be so Much better? It would change your life. You know what I mean? Like it's good now. What if it's like 10 times better? And all you have is a giant thing that rolls around that you Have to put underneath your bed. A car wash thing. Yeah, a car wash thing where it looks like it's

[21:00]Those circle cheese graders. That's what it looks like except the opposite. It looks nice. Yeah, I don't want a cheese grater anywhere near there. And then do you have to plug it in? See, that's the thing. That would be, I assume it's like a drill. I assume you could take Like your black and decker drill thing, your 12 volt, and then just stick it into this. Right. Hey, we've got a circular saw. We've got the flashlight. We've got the Jacker 5000. I think that would be a good Father's Day kit. You know what I mean? Well, if you're going to Get the Jacker 5000, you got to get the 18 volt version. It's like a hammer drill, but it's Also never by the warranty. Don't buy the warranty. Don't buy the warranty on those. No, it's never worth it. Hello, guy in Chicago, just wanted to thank you for what I guess was a shout out. It was good. It woke me up because I was dozing off as you guys Discussed what kind of backpack was being purchased. I still don't know why I'm listening.

[22:00]Russell, I think I'm going to read between the lines in this guy. And I think he wants A little backpack check-in. How is that backpack doing? Okay. We purchased an expensive backpack. You wouldn't even tell us a price. You were on one of your mousy, done censorship ramp pages. I think he said he was falling asleep. Like I think he said it sucked. And I don't know why It was boring. The episode was. He was saying is how boring it was. No, no, no, no, no, no. He wants more backpack content. And guess what? We're going to give it to him. Russell, How's that backpack going? Is this still kicking? Was it worth it? Let's go back. Rob, there is a feature on the right side where you stick something in there and it's Like a car wash thing. It's amazing. I mean, really though, those brushes. Did that wake you up guy from Chicago? Because you would start with the thing and it would be Like the strips of leather just hanging down in the car wash. You'd be like, well, This isn't going to get me off. But then those brushes would come in and you'd be like, I got your L train right here. The hot wax on you? You'd be like, damn.

[23:00]Or would it be, would you want the self wash one where they had that very high power Gun? Do you like the backpack Russell? Was it worth the purchase? You were stressed about How much it costs. Oh, look at it. Do I enjoy the backpack, Rob? As Jack Nicholson said, You're a goddamn right. I enjoy the backpack, Rob. Look at this thing. It's got so many Different packs. You know, the greatest thing about the nice backpack. I know Matt, You're a duffel bag guy now, but you can put a rucksack like Aaron. You could put A hundred pounds of weights in this thing and you carry it around and it feels like nothing. And your hands are free. There's something about the way it works. It's amazing. So Guy from Chicago, I got your backpack right here for you. Love it. Aaron is blown away by that. Your hands are free. That seems to be a big deal. You know, when I travel last weekend, it's fantastic. Then you get your water bottle, You can carry a water bottle. You can sit down and have a beer. Russell, I have a problem with my backpacks after about a month. They fill up with cookie Crumbs. Do you have cookie crumbs? Every backpack I own gets cookie crumbs in it.

[24:00]I've had no food crumbs in the backpack yet. All right. Jenny came and sat down next to me At Amelia's Swimming on Friday and immediately she goes, oh, I haven't had lunch. And I was like, No, no. She opens up something that is teriyaki broccoli and like cabbage. And it smells so bad. And I said, that smells bad. So then she goes and moves and sits by all the parents. And I was like, no, what are you doing? It's time to see what everybody's up to. It's time for rolling, rolling, going. Aaron, how's it going with you? It's going great. I, our friend Matt noticed, not too long ago that I, He was, sleuthing on LinkedIn and he noticed that I had a 10 year anniversary At my job. And he said to message and he said, now what does one get

[25:00]For doing 10 years, where Aaron works? And first things first, it's a big, It's a big national company, right? Yeah. Big company. Yeah. Big company, big Corporate America. So I did get a plaque in the mail, but it turned out that this plaque was Actually just a plastic magnetic frame with a piece of paper in it that said Congratulations on 10 years. Cheap. Yeah. But also importantly, I got a link to Gifnetonline.com. Oh, you're going to pick a gift, get to pick a gift. And so I'm here, I'm here for you and my listeners to help. No, this is, I'm, you guys are going to help me. So the thing is like, I, there's actually some cool stuff on here that I'm probably Going to use to buy a Christmas present for my son, but I just want to I'm going to re-gift to pick a gift. Yeah. You can't re-gift to pick a gift. You don't think so? Sure you can. Yeah. I've always wanted a gold watch.

[26:00]Do you know what's like the monetary value of your ability to pick is? I don't think so. It doesn't tell me. You guess like a hundred bucks, $250. I'm going to guess like a hundred. Hey dad, can I get a paperweight for Christmas this year? No, man. Listen to this. You got, it's going to be, Dad, can I please get a stand-up? All right. So let's, let's see. I got to, I pulled this up and then I had to, I pulled it up last week and now I had to Pull it back up. Now it's not telling me the monetary value. So I got a Novel Grants by Utica Sleep Happy Body Pillow. Sleep Happy Body Pillow. I got a Vivitar Aerial Chopper. So this is a remote control Helicopter. Oh, I'm in. I'm in. Yeah. Right. I mean immediately. I was like, The real control helicopter. That's it. There's also a drone. Oh yeah. You have to. I can do a blue topaz ring. No, what? Oh my God. Ring? Yep. I can do a

[27:00]Pearl Lariat Necklace. Oh, yes. Rob, just Aaron sit it out. Let Rob just go for a Pearl Lariat Necklace. Can you imagine if you worked at a company for 10 years and you're like, Hey, like this necklace, I got it for working at a company for 10 years. Unless that company Is you driving cows around the Southwest, you should not be getting a Pearl Lariat Necklace. That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life. I would use that Pearl Lariat Necklace to hang myself for my office door while jacking off. Oh, jeez. I gotta think. Now, here's a good, no, this one, this might be a good deal. By, this is a good brand name. There's a D-Walt stud finder, which obviously as a dad, First thing you do, find the stud, found him. It's the D-Walt stud finder. It is not Expensive. Aaron, it's a $12. You've earned a $1.20 a year that you've worked in gifts.

[28:00]What, where are you working that they would give you a stud finder? It's you discounted that at the net present value error that's literally like a $2 gift. That's crazy. That's really bad. Jokes on Russell, he went out and bought a nice backpack. I have the option to get a Triple play backpack. Oh, triple flat backpack has a large volume capacity and modern styling Triple play backpack. It just worked for my company for 10 years. Actually, That looks like something Aaron might use. I mean, maybe. Yeah. I mean, It kind of looks like a diaper bag. This is 84 bucks. This makes no sense to me. This catalog. It's all over the place. You know what they're doing? They're giving you like the, Hey, here's the cheap one. Here's the kind of cheap one. So like you feel good about the $84 gift because they, Right? They floated the real cheap shit in front of you. Yep.

[29:00]And I guess I want a $80 backpack at $12 stud finder or a pearl lariat necklace. I got it right now. I believe it turns to necklace. I'm going to eat all these pills. That's what I want to do instead. I think it's got, so far it's got to be the Vivintar aerial chopper, right? Like a remote control helicopter. Yes. Dicast helicopter. Hey, does this have cameras? You can like look at your neighbors over the fence, whether Or whatever. There is a drone, a Vivintar remote control drone with camera. Nice. So I could do a drone with camera. I'll just give you one more and then I'm going to give up, Give up, I'm going to seed the floor. I saw one other good one here. Oh, there's a, Of course there's a Crockpot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, Rob, this one could be for you. A singing machine party microphone. Oh, there we go. Maybe I could take this one and gift it to The karaoke. But it's just the microphone. So like the music comes out of the end of it. It does say it features a big time blasting audio and dad's like music. No

[30:00]That's not true. You know, it's going to sound like shit. You know that. Can you imagine being the HR person who gets to update this every year? It was like, You know what we're going to do? Throw the, throw that stud fighter for $12 bucks. $40 for a party machine. Aaron, do you work for a catalog that sells magazine subscriptions To elementary school students? I mean, this is what I would get for fucking Selling boys life to all my cousins. Like this makes no, We used to get like weasels or whatever those things were called like the little wristbands. I think you mean weevils because they were they don't fall down. They don't fall down. Okay. Yeah. I know my kid got into that with a rubber duck. She's like, I want to Collect every rubber duck. I was like, who are you going to sell this shit to? Nobody wants to buy it. Don't sell it. We're not getting any more magazine subscriptions. We're still getting real simple for some reason. We can't cancel it. It's like a SCD. Aaron, you're leaning towards, I kind of think you got to go with the helicopter. At least

[31:00]You can take that out and you have one fun afternoon with your son. You probably crash That ship. But at least you say, Hey, we had fun with it. Like, could you imagine If every morning you wake up with your goddamn body pillow thinking, I got to go to work today? Like, Oh, thank God my boss got me this body pillow. That would be terrible. My sister had a full body pillow and it was the best. It was like you were sleeping in the Bed. It was incredible. We have a sister Rob. There may be a body pillow in the upstairs Room as we speak. You know what I'll say. It keeps people on their side. I was going to Say, yeah, that body pillow, there's not even, there's no clothes. There's no pushing over to the Middle. Like I don't have to sleep with my, my body hanging off the bed anymore because of the full Body pillow. Unless the body pillow is in the shape of a triangle. I do not want it on my bed. What do I mean? Okay. Again, I've made the sex pillows joke a number of times. I'm showing

[32:00]You the sex pillows now. You guys don't know what I'm talking about. No, no, no. Here we go. This is on Amazon, by the way. First of all, look at this picture on Amazon. The first one, look at this. It's a guy giving it to a girl. Yes, it is. All right. Would you go, As it says, sex toys, adult toys, pillow, cushion, flatable, triangle, inflatable, Ramp, furniture, couples, toys, position, support pillow, men, women for Couples. That's what this item is called. Rob is showing us a picture. This is A price is what Eric gets for 10 years of working there. It's $18. $1796. Rob is showing us a picture of what appears to be a small ramp with a man and woman in Some sort of sexual position. There's 3,500 views. But wait, wait. There's another photo where A lady is just like working on a laptop on there, right? It's like, oh, and you're not having sex On here. You can put your laptop on it. Do you wash it in between? I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, hey, why is there so much come on the laptop? Well, it was by the Sex pillow. That's the only reason. Okay. Let's look at the reviews. Rob,

[33:00]Can you imagine being the model where that's all they show is your ass on the pillow? What is that? There's one with a woman putting your finger into a half peeled orange. Guys, Go to Amazon and look up sex toys, adult toys, pillow, push and push, and triangle, Inflatable, ramp, furniture, couples, toy, position for deeper positions, support, Pillow, men and women for couples. And you will see all this. This is terrible. Oh, there's a lot of what, some of the stuff that you also can buy. I mean, Look at this. Look at this one, the sex bar is restrained. Did you see what the... Can you guys all mute for a second? It's just... Hey, Rob, what's that? Can you save that in your Checkout box? You know what? I would. So it's an outline of a woman with her hands and legs Tied to like her shoulders, but it's $12. Do you think restraints are really that good For $12? I don't think so. Okay. Back to the orange. Back. This woman is literally new. This is crazy. Okay. So right there. This is porn. Perfect playtime edition. I recently adult. This is from R. Ussell from Minneapolis. For the people that have no idea

[34:00]What he's doing. Rob is reading reviews of sex toys on Amazon. That's what's happening. For the people that have no clue what he's doing. Okay. This is number one in Sex literature, ramps and cushion. Because while I keep talking about the triangle pillows, And you guys never know what I'm talking about. No, we didn't. No, we never knew. Love this pillow. Great product. Okay. Go to some of the ones and two. Yeah, go to the one. Okay. Let's go to let's say a one star. The thing is tiny. Spent more time repositioning than you Know what. Now that would be a bummer, wouldn't it? Yeah, a lot of logistics. If you are, instead Of having sex with your spouse, you are constantly repositioning a tiny pillow you bought off Amazon for $18 because you're the cheapest person in the world. What a bummer. I inflated To sit on the couch unused overnight to make sure it would stay inflated. Okay. So this guy's Checking ahead. As we woke up the next morning, I checked the pillow and it was completely deflated. That seems questionable. Who's the guy who's like, Hey, I'm going to inflate this and just

[35:00]Leave it there overnight to make sure it's inflated. That sounds like someone did something Nasty with it and pop that shit. And then they tried to play it off. Guys, There's a lot of naked women pictures on Amazon. It's kind of crazy. Okay. I'm Just going to do one more. This is the multifunction sex position enhancer chair. Okay. It is a chair that has two triathlon bike handles in the front. Okay. And there is a Slight slot in the chair. So I think this might be a face sitting chair. I think that's what This officially is. Okay. I could sit on top. All right. Well, thus concludes my rolling Going. How's it rolling going with Matt? Good. Hey, Matt, welcome. Quite the rolling going. Yeah. Welcome back this week. Hey, welcome back. Hey, are we Going to fuck? I got to blow up this pillow. What do you mean welcome back? Why are you Welcome back two weeks ago when Rob? Hey, save me time. You put on the condom while I'm blowing Up this pillow. Oh, I got to confuse. I got the pillow on my cock and I'm, what am I

[36:00]Doing? Oh, Rob, can you play a song? You know what? You play Turpentine by Brandy Carlyle. Oh, Brandy Carlyle. What a treasure. Oh my goodness. Started something new. You guys know I work downtown Minneapolis. There's Skyways down there. Right? Yeah. Sure. I've started Raw dog and walks outside or what? Nope. Just no headphones. You mean no headphones. Wow. Me, myself and I talking to me, myself and I like it raw dog. And it's the greatest Thing I've done in a long time. Feel good? I just, it's talking all the time, talking to People and just walking without any sort of podcast or music or anything. It's a very therapeutic. I've learned to enjoy it. Man, I kind of envy this because I've, I've gotten in the habit of Like putting headphones in your ear pods and everywhere I go. If I walk into Target, If I walk into Walgreens in the sex toys section, Rob, the chairs we were talking about,

[37:00]I've got headphones in everywhere. So you're saying you're out. You're, you've, you've gotten Rid of the noise. I was like, I was so distracted. I feel like I overstimulated if you Will. And I just walked one day and I'm like, and it's been great. And I've, so I've been doing It for like two months now. I just go in like a little 40 minute walk at lunchtime when I got Time to do it and raw dog. And so I, Russell, I would try it sometime just to see if you Could do it. Rob, if I know you, there's no way you can do this. You realize what we're Doing right now. Right? Like I do. We're making, we're making a podcast that people are listening To walking around at lunch at work. How much money are we making off this Bad boy? None. Yeah. There you go. It feels like the real podcast is the friends we made Along the way. I want bigger headphones that block out more noise. I want headphones that Cover my eyes. So I don't see my family. This is, I'm going to call Rob out for This. Rob sends us pictures all the time. I like, he's in New York city. He's Going to jujitsu or something. Rob walks around with the big headphones on his head.

[38:00]I could never do that. I've got like the Bose like little earbuds and they're fantastic. But Rob, you walk around with big headphones all the time. I could never do that. Never. New York is loud as fuck all the time. The trains are loud. Everybody's the, Everything's loud all the time. The headphones are so nice. It's like, quiet. I couldn't, I couldn't be without them. So now you just do it at lunch or do you Like the morning when you walk into the office or? Oh, like I once I leave my car, I mean, I don't like put AirPods in or anything like that to go up to my office. That's another seven, eight minute walk. Yeah. All the time up. And it's hard to play, but when you got two dicks and only one ball, right? Wait, you have only one ball in the scenario? Are you saying this is a wheelbarrow Scenario? I looked down and it looks like a wheelbarrow. Is that this episode? That's so different to the Nina Simone estate And all the Nina Simone fans out. You know what? I would do Russell's water. Ski it with both hands on sideways like this. No, no, no.

[39:00]Like I'm holding on to the water. You can't, you can't water. Ski it. Man, that is Russell. This has been a long one. Yeah. So I like to try it out. Russell's we're going long. Roll it going. Guys, I have three topics. We've done this before. This is Trivial pursuit style. Here are the categories. I'll let you guys pick the category that we're Going to talk about. All right. You can go food and beverage, travel and leisure or arts and Entertainment. God, Russell, that's so tempting, but we got to go food and beverage, right? We haven't had food and beverage hot take. I went up. We went out to eat last night. We went to a restaurant. We got a dessert and the dessert that we got came in a jar. Hot take. I think any dessert in a jar is the best dessert ever. What do you guys think of that hot take? Well, it was like an apple thing. This was a Nancy Silverton, who's a famous chef, butterscotch boondini. A butterscotch boondini. Any dessert in a jar you have to get. I highly recommend any dessert

[40:00]In a jar. Do you get like a special size spoon for it too? Do they give you just the right size? They give you the right size spoons. Yeah. No damn well they do. Yes. And I'll say any jar dessert that has butterscotch in it, That's a lock. That's a lock to be in easy. God, I love butterscotch so much. Travel and leisure, arts and entertainment. Aaron, what do you want? You know, I'll say to Russell, I don't mind drinking out of a jar. You know what I mean? If a restaurant has jar glasses, I think it's fun. I think it's a Whimson for that. I want to hear arts and entertainment. Today, I, one of my nieces is very into art. She's 10 going on 11. So probably a little younger Than your kids Rob. Man, probably about your oldest age, right? She's really into art. She always wanted to go to the Minneapolis Institute of Art. My sister and her family Came up. I met them at the Minneapolis Institute of Art today. And so what I was going to ask you Guys, and I had a great time with them, what is the perfect amount of time to spend at an

[41:00]Art exhibit or a museum? I'm going to say you're with kids. We were with kids 10 and eight. Then I would say 10 and eight, 45 minutes. I was going to say an hour. I was going one hour. I was going right at one hour. I have the right answer. We were there about an hour and 25, I would say. Oh, nice. I think the right amount of time is one hour and one minute. I think you want to be there long enough to say you were there for more than an hour Because that's respectable. Yep. And we made it through most of the third floor and part of the Second floor. So it was great, but I think it's one hour and one minute is one hour and one Minute for an art exhibit or a museum. The one thing I will say my favorite. We don't need to, I know this is an art podcast. We've talked a lot about art over the years, but Number one, travel and leisure. Who's up next? Matt, travel and leisure. Well, Yeah, let's go travel leisure. Oh yeah. I love it. Travel and leisure.

[42:00]I was down in Rochester the other day, Rob's home town. Right by Cannon Falls. It's way past. So close. It's way close to where I live that where Rob lives. I'll just say that. I almost pulled over on the way back to show Rob how far it is. We were down there and I Had to go to a building and I went into a parking ramp and I'm just going to say this. This is embarrassing for me. I do not like driving in tall parking ramps. I don't like Going up steep inclines. I've told you guys before at concerts, I don't like heights. I had to park on the ninth floor of a parking ramp in Rochester. And I'm just going to say I about had a medical issue going up that high. Yeah, let's ask your P every, Every time I turned in the parking ramp, I could see a clear wall because they have a Lot of clear walls in this parking ramp where you can see outside, see outside. So when you pull up into the side, you're, you're pulling up into, in my mind, nothing.

[43:00]Yeah. No, that's bad. There shouldn't be clear walls. That's crazy. I park on the ninth floor of this ring. Russell, let me ask you, do you, What if it's a straight curly queue up? Do you mind that as much as that worse? Oh, I can't sand the straight curly queue up. This one was actually very flat. Yeah. And so it was very, it was reasonable, but I was still freaking out. I love the time. I love driving in the ramp though, when I'm turning the tires are squealing, Doesn't the tire seem to feel more and I feel like I'm, I'm like, Fast. Rob, you think eventually you're going to have to run in the wall, right? Like you can only hold strong and that turns so much, right? Yeah, that's great. But so we get up there and I'm like, we get out and it turns out right Next to this building, all the elevators are right next to like glass doors and windows. So everything you see when you get up and you're walking to the elevator is glass windows, Meaning guys like me that are scared of heights. I had a fucking freak out. I had a meltdown. Oh, no. So we go in and we get to the elevator and I style freak out.

[44:00]I'm going to guess also this was, oh, God, man. I'm going to guess this was not a situation where you had the freedom to melt down. Like this was a situation where you needed to be a little like the solid person, right? And so I have a point where we're walking into this elevator on the ninth floor. And the only way you can get to the elevator is walking by a window that is Florida Ceiling to ground. So you're walking by and there's, there's nothing there, but a window. And so I walk in and I'm literally grabbing the cement walls. Like my hands are on the Cement walls. I'm having a freak out of all freakouts. Yeah. Oh, no. And the upstairs roommate says, what's going on here? And I go, I don't like heights. I just said, and I go, I go, I don't like heights. And I said, Please don't make fun of me right now. I just need to get out of here. That was what happened. That's my, that's my travel and leisure.

[45:00]That's more travel than leisure, but thank you for sharing. The next line she said was not, I've never been, there's turned out in my entire life. Please don't make fun of me. Oh, this is what I love, but I can't stand. Like this happens sometimes in downtown Minneapolis. I'll go to a game or something. You have to go up the ramp and it's one of the steep ramps where you're Like, if you don't drive fast enough, you'll start rolling back, right? You got to go fast. I can't handle it. I've got major problems. These are my problems. Rob, can you handle like the ramps? I do hate heights. And then I had to do a filter with my seventh graders this week, Where it was a rock climbing place where I had to put on a harness. That's the first thing you do when you get away. So now I'm a big guy in a harness. And then I have to go up on a ropes course up top. And I was just like, I have to just suck it up and do it. I have to not look scared in front of all these kids. It was terrifying. But I get it, Russell, because I don't, I'm not a big fan of heights Myself. Like when, when there's a lot of airplane jiggle like turbulence,

[46:00]I'll be like gripping my seat tight. And Jenny's like, what are you doing? Like she doesn't say like, what's going on? She goes, what are you doing? Are you scared? I'm like, oh yeah, the thought of us dying in the plane crash. Yeah, that does actually Scare me a little bit. Airplane jiggle. So when we leave, when we go down, Like the little airplane jiggle, we go down the ninth floor ramp when we're leaving. And I'm driving like, it says 10 miles an hour. So most people might guess drive probably 15 Going down around that ramp. And I'm going like four. I'm barely moving. And I, there's no reason I Should be afraid. Like there's no chance I'm going to drive through a cement wall and drive off the Ledge of this building. I couldn't do it. There's something fucked up with me. I'm really messed Up. There's something wrong. Rob, how's it going with you? I get it. Listen. Wow. Hey, Thanks for that trivial pursuit adventure. It was great food and beverage travel, leisure, Arts, and entertainment. Thank you for bringing this. I'm going to pick Russell. I'm going to pick

[47:00]Sex toys, cushion, triangle bed. Now. Okay. Next week, I will be going over. I will be playing You my standup act. That is my plan for next week's rolling going. Oh, wow. Okay. That is Where we're going to be this week. I came back to work from South Africa. My boss said, Oh, did you go on a safari? I said, yeah. I said, look at this picture I took. He then took my phone. Okay. He then proceeded to say to me, can I scroll through these pictures? No, you can't. I had someone your phone. I can't say no. You got to say no. It's an older guy. I can't. Russell, if he says, oh, excuse me, Rob, can I scroll through your picture? I go, Well, God, would you give someone your phone? I would never hand it. I wouldn't hand one Of you guys my phone. Yeah. If I was going to show you a picture, I would hold My phone up to your face like this. I would never let Aaron hold my phone. He wanted to scroll through all the animals and all I was thinking is like, I just sent a picture

[48:00]To the guys of how every night at the hotel, we had turned down service and every night they Would put my wife's vibrator right in the middle of her side of the bed. And she would have it Like hidden somewhere and they would always bring it out and put it up. Like it was like My side had like mints and her side had this big vibrator and I'm like, He could get to the vibrator picture and I was like, what is going on? But what do you say? You can't say no, Russell. What do you honestly might not know what it is? Like that thing, Once again, we discussed before the podcast. You always want to talk about this. Please. Every episode I have to edit it out. It looks like an irrigation system or something. To me, it's normal sized. It looks like it could water a small Farm. That thing is huge. She's got a type. Okay. What do I say? No, don't scroll.

[49:00]Like once he has my phone. So my mistake, Russell, is my mistake was handing the phone over. You should never hand your phone. I wouldn't hand my phone to any of you guys. Never. I'd be scrolling so fast. But I think it's just people who are older than you, right? Like young people know not to take your phone and scroll. Like I would never take Any of your guys's phones and scroll. I don't want to see the pictures that bad. But guys, you can't say no, don't scroll to my photos. You absolutely would take One of our phones and scroll. No, I would. I would feel terrible if I found Like a sex picture with you and your wife or something. I would feel awful. That would not be fun for me. I would never scroll through a phone. I really want to know what I do on the ninth floor of a parking ramp. Russell's like, oh, I'm so nervous in the car. Let me blow up this pillow. I'm going to say this. I'm going to be nice about it. Rob did his first

[50:00]Standup act ever within the last week. And he's like, fuck you guys. I'm going to make you wait A full another week for our listeners three weeks before he tells us about how it was. Listen, this, this pisses me off. Like no other place. There's nothing that says this All the time on texts. You should quit your job and you should be a standup comedian. Listen, You did your first standup show and you're like, I'm going to make you guys wait. What are we talking about? You don't realize big for it. This is one of the main host duties. We're at an hour 10 right now of recording this. Okay. I've got, if I do the standup bit, I want to be able to give that a nice big amount of time. We're going to do it next week. Russell, This is a decision that I have to make. And you know what you don't always have to Like what you get, but it's what's good for you. Okay. This is not what you like, But it's what's good for you. You got to trust me. Okay. We're going to let this thing Breathe. Russell, we've already got the blow up pillow bit that we're going to do at the end.

[51:00]We've got the two penis bit. We're going to be at the end. We're set. We don't need Any more running bits. Wait, wait. Is the two penis bit this episode? The two penis bit is this episode. And I've been literally moving my hands. Rob, I apologize. We should keep going. I apologize. I messed up. Trust the process. You got to trust the process. We're talking about Nina Simone. Wild is the wind. Now the only, this is the least detailed thing I've ever seen on Wikipedia. It literally was like one paragraph for the album. Basically, this album was a bunch of, This was recorded in 66. It's just a bunch of leftover recordings from other sessions From 64 and 65. It's a very strange choice first. Was this on the original list? It's very like, she has such a huge catalog. I don't know. It's very interesting that This is what they chose. And I'm not even quarreling with it necessarily, but it's, It's an out there choice. It's the only Nina Simone list album on this list.

[52:00]I mean, come on. That's crazy. So I got to give you the whole Simone background, Because there's not that much about the album. I don't really have much else to say, But Simone's story is fascinating. So Simone was born in North Carolina, family eight. She wants to become a piano player. She gets into New York city's Juilliard. Goes to Juilliard for classical piano. Rob, snap it. Let's all clap. We might have come back to that Juilliard school in about 15 minutes. All right. I love it. I have multiple kids that I teach, Go and try out for piano and Juilliard. Okay. I mean, she was a virtuoso. Yeah. But Aaron, they're like practicing like 12 hours a day on the weekends and like Six hours a day when they get home from school. It's crazy. And then the kid who did it, I said, how did it go? And he goes, I got destroyed by some nine year old from South Korea. And I was like, yeah, I bet that's how it always goes there. I read it's like Five to seven percent acceptance rate very low. It's insane to know that you've got to do that Is crazy. So then after that, she plays in Atlantic city as her job. And they say, hey,

[53:00]We're too cheap. We're not going to get you any accompaniments. Now you got to sing with the Songs you're playing on the piano. So she starts to sing. She goes on to record 40 albums between 1958 and 1974. Yeah, just prolific. Martin Luther King, junior gets killed. Nina Simone Is friends with him says, I don't like where the country is going. She leaves the US in 1970, Never to perform in the US again, never to return until 1995 to collect music royalties that were Owed to her from record companies. 25 years. And she still didn't sing in the US after 1970. So let's get into Nina Simone. And I got to say, I told you guys, this is a very, To me, it's a very serious album. This voice is crazy. I love your loving ways. But you can tell this wasn't an album. Like it's not the songs all sound very different. Yeah, you can tell they're all recorded in different places.

[54:00]Different bands. So when you say that, like, was this released originally? Is this the greatest Dance or not? No, no, it's like the B sides. Yeah, it was like on and anything was released In 66, right? Yeah, they were never released anywhere else, Russell. These were cut from all Of our other albums. Because at the time, like I don't know when like, so console would Have come out. But this feels like it would have come from like, so console sessions. But then Other stuff could like, could have come from pastel blues or other Nina Simone things, the blues Or other stuff she did. What album would you recommend people do? Aaron, they had to listen To Nina Simone. I have always loved her. So here's, here's really interesting, Rob, as you You said, the album feels serious and kind of scary. And I agree with you, like she has An imposing figure. But I've always enjoyed her live albums, in part because the her banter from The stage is actually very funny and sort of witty and like has a great banter with the Audience. So the thing that I always had on CD was might have just been called Nina Simone

[55:00]In concert, but it starts with I loves you porgy and has pirate Jenny on it and Mississippi Goddamn and a couple of others. So I've always loved her live stuff. My absolute favorite Album, though, of Nina Simone's is, I think the album is called to love somebody. And so It starts with the cover of the Bee Gees song to love somebody and has a Leonard Cohen cover On there and a Bob Dylan cover. I've always loved her covers of pop tunes. Yeah, I could see that we're having that banter be fun. I would like it if she got out There and she goes, Hey, I want to lose enough weight to cheat on my wife. You know what I mean? She is witty. She's very funny. It's, I just want to lose enough weight to be invited to my co-host breakout Comedy podcast episode. Listen, which I guess is happening in three weeks from now instead Of tonight. You guys will come when I get a full 10 minutes. I needed 10 minutes to Get in my orgy bit. I had to cut a whole orgy bit from it. We'll get into it.

[56:00]But like that sounded kind of like a doo-wop song, like with a band and everything. And then We have four women, which is this very serious civil rights. I mean, Nina Simone is a famous Civil rights activists. This is about four women who are African-American stereotypes. And the song was actually banned on a New York jazz radio station due to concern over the Lyrics. Howards. Erin, can I ask how would you describe her voice? Yeah, she has, I, I wouldn't Describe it as beautiful necessarily, but I would describe it as commanding and I would describe It as versatile and expressive. What more can I say? I mean, I just feel like, I mean, how old is she here? She's not old, but she sounds like somebody who's seen the whole world In 25 or something. Disappointed with it. Born in 33. Oh, so she's 32, 34.

[57:00]But see now this is like almost like a show tune, right? Like it totally switches. But listen to This. Some fun builds and stuff. Yeah, these first three songs are very clearly from different Sessions. Gosh. Now the next song Lilac Wine, of course, we remember hearing this on the Jeff Buckley album. Okay, it's probably the song we remember the best off that album. This is, he does, he basically does a note for note cover of hers, right? Like he clearly Listened to hers over and over. This is a song about getting intoxicated and how great it is, Which once again, I will be doing tomorrow because it is handing out candy day. Guys, Is there anything better than when you know you're going to go drink the next day and You've got all your stuff done? You can go to bed early. It's a good feeling, right? I'm not going to get blindsided and drink too much. The only better rub is when you have a book

[58:00]That pairs Nina Simone with a cocktail. Wow. I'm drinking a gin Ricky, which they suggest on This. Have you guys ever had a gin Ricky before? Rob, you're a bartender. What's A gin Ricky? Wow, it's stolen a lot of bases. Oh, that's gin Ricky Henderson. That's Different. Well, I would tell you guys what that one, but I left my hands. I left my book upstairs And I was rushing. So I think there's a gin and some lime and you're supposed to do club soda with it, But we were out of club soda. So instead I stole this can of green bubbly. Do you guys see The bubbly? That's the same. That's exactly. There you go. Yeah, that's it. So I'm drinking A gin Ricky tonight in honor of Nina Simone. Wow. Love it. It definitely feels like one of those Old sailor drinks, right? It was like, Oh, we're trying to get scurvy. So we'll put some gin with The limes and then keeps. Oh, look at that. Nice. Russell's got a nice glass. Coop. I always think

[59:00]Of a gin Ricky as a very old person's drink, like a slow gin fizz or something. Now let me ask You guys this. Wait. Oh, I was on joy division. I was like, this is totally wrong. I, when I hand out candy, I'm doing, I'm doing a couple of bits. Okay. So what do You think of this bit? The bit number one, I reach into the kids bag and take one of their Candy pieces and say, Oh, thanks so much. How old are the kids? They are like elementary School. That's who I'm doing the bits with. And reaching into the, reaching into like a six Year old's bags. It's like a bit much. So funny. The look they give me when I say, Oh, Thank you so much. And I put it, Oh, it's so good. And the other bit I do is I say to The kids, you can eat as much candy as you want. Your parents can't tell you what to do. I have had parents get pretty mad at me for saying that. And it makes me laugh every single Time because again, I am hammered. The goal and I have been drinking. We were handing out candy. You know what? We are gone. Rob jokes about him being hammered. He is hammered at this event

[1:00:00]Because I believe a year or two ago Rob was going to beat me in Halloween and he was too drunk To beat me. I was in New York city. I was in like Manhattan or like in a nice hotel. We're Going to find a time to like watch a football game and he was too drunk to beat me. And you know What, Rob? I had respect for it. He just finally at one point I think he texted me and said, Like, I'm super drunk. I'm not going to be able to beat you. And I was like, And so what are you drinking? What's your tip on the Halloween handout? We bring a bottle. We bring, first of all, we bring a, the nice big mug of ice. And then we just have a bottle of whiskey and we add very little amounts of Diet Coke to It. And then just drink that while we hand out. Who is we? We like Nicole. There's no way, There's no way your wife drinks this. No, but she was blasted two years ago. That was something. What was she drinking? Oh, I think she's not drinking whiskey Diet Coke. There's no way. She's drinking whiskey. Yeah. Whiskey is your drink. No fucking way. Yeah. That's what she drinks. Whiskey and Diet Coke. He'll drink whiskey. It's whiskey. She'll drink it just straight

[1:01:00]On the rocks. That's what she orders. Monster. That's what she orders at the bar. I know. That's all I asked. Listen to this soft voice. She played the piano on this one, Aaron? I think she plays piano on almost all of this. Yeah. I mean, she, that was her main instrument. And any videos you see of her, she's at the Piano. So I would imagine it's almost always her, but I didn't look up to see for sure. Break down and let it all out. I mean, this voice. But this voice is, is great. I was not expecting this. Yeah. And Aaron knows Nina Simone Way more than I do. I was almost expecting a Aretha, and a James, and a Dale. I was expecting

[1:02:00]Like a huge voice. Does that make sense, Aaron? Yeah. I wasn't expecting this. It threw me For a loop, admittedly. You know what? This is almost like Amy, what's her name? Amy Winehouse, Right? Where it's like a singer with a very distinct voice. Like it's a very... Right. I'm sure Winehouse listened to this. And like that particular song, like, yeah, I think she went through she's called the high priestess of soul. So she definitely, You know, is a soulful singer and recorded some soul albums. I think the things that lean More toward jazz are the ones that I tend to gravitate to, but the one we just heard like was Certainly the kind of thing that was like in conversation with Motown and Stacks, right? It's like it fits in that lane, but she did many other things too. And I have Nina Simone songs in my head. And when I was like, oh, they'll be on this album, Because I was thinking about parody songs. And then like none of those songs are on this Album. It's such a strange choice. Why keep on breaking my heart?

[1:03:00]It is a little off-putting that they were recorded in different places. You can just tell, Like every one sounds different. It would be really interesting if she sat down in a place and just Hammered these out with the same musicians and the same producer. Yeah, I think she has other studio albums. You mentioned Juilliard School. And so like Juilliard, that's that like Aaron or Rob, maybe you guys can talk about it, but That's like the theater school. That's the music school. That is the school for performing arts, Is that right? Dance. So I thought we could do a quick list of the greatest artists ever That went to Juilliards. Wow. Oh, wow. Let's hear it. The greatest artists that went to Juilliard? Russell, I cannot wait to hear that list. We're not doing actors. There's all Sorts of amazing actors and actresses. There's not as many like pop stars or musicians that you would Think that are musicians we would know. I'm excited to learn here. Wow. I'm going to be surprised.

[1:04:00]The first one is in the fall of 1944, Miles Davis took a scholarship to go to the Juilliard School. So we're going to listen to Miles Davis for a little bit. I'm always happy to listen To Miles. This is what got him into New York. And then he started getting to the New York Scene. He started playing with Charlie Parker. I think it is Aaron in 1945. But so I don't know That he graduated, but he went to Juilliard for a while. That's really what got him to New York And kind of connected with him with a lot of people there. Wow. I think you're right. I don't Think he was there very long. Turn pro. Actually, when I was reading about a lot of these artists That did go there, that's what happened with a lot of them. They would go there, They'd meet some people and then they would take their career in a different way. And as we all know, if peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. That's not a joke, by the way. Short season over finally. Don't have to worry about peeing my Pants so much. I pissed my pee in my pants, right? Next up on the list is John Williams,

[1:05:00]The composer that did all the Star Wars, Jurassic Park, all that stuff. Yeah. Juilliard school guy. Did you guys know that? No, I didn't know that. So he's sitting at Juilliard and they're like, okay, what would you do if there's like a huge, Awesome guy in a black cape walking through a space station? He's like, yes, finally I got a good Assignment. I'm curious what you guys would have picked. I could have picked ET, Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones. What would you guys have picked for your John Williams song? I'm going off the board. I'm going off the board wrestle. I'm going Jaws. Didn't he do Jaws? He did do Jaws. I think you got to do Jaws. I'd go Indiana Jones. Yeah, I'd go Indiana Jones. It's tough for me, Indiana Jones. I was thinking Superman, but Jurassic Park probably. Jurassic Park for me. Like, because I played in this whole band. That one brings out for me. I would do ET because that's how my doctor asked to describe my feces when he's doing a Checkup on me. He's like, which ET does your feces look like? Is it the scared ET with a

[1:06:00]Long neck? Okay. Is it the gray ET who's dying at the end? Okay. Or is it normal ET with a wig And hat on? What? Man, I'm confused. Well, I don't know, but there are some Reese's pieces in it. So That's next up on the list is down for me. One of my favorite jazz pianists that we talked about A few weeks ago. It's, it's Chick Corea. Chick Corea went to Julia. Right that Before you forget, ready to go. So he made it into Juilliard, but he didn't stay there long Year. He didn't make very long. Okay. He was there and then he started becoming a jazz side man for Mondo, Santa Maria, Stan Getz, and Miles Davis. Miles and Mitchersbrough, right?

[1:07:00]Oh man. This is fun. Last artist on the list is actually an actor that you guys may know. The actor is Tim Blake Nelson, but he actually sang in the movie. Oh brother, we're out there. Yes. He went to Juilliard. I did not know. And actually, when you think about, oh brother, we're Out there. You think about like George Clooney, did George Clooney really sing or is he just Removing political candidates? It turns out Clooney didn't sing, but Tim Blake Nelson Sang on that song. He's actually singing. He was the only one, the only actor that actually Sang in that. And he is in the jail house now. Yes. Oh, that's a great scene too. So those are the Greatest artists ever that went to Juilliard. Wow. That's wonderful, Russell. Great list. But actually it's crazy. Nina Simone, I think she went there for a while to like pay her bills

[1:08:00]And she was like playing accompaniment. She was there for a while and she Applied to go to some Philadelphia school and she didn't get in. Yeah. You imagine like being the school That didn't let her into your music school. That's like, that's like if not letting Aaron Into the only choir, that's crazy. He's on an award-winning podcast. She does famously point To that as a place that started her civil rights activism. Cause she's like, oh, I know why they're not letting me into some school in Philadelphia for sure. Wild is the Wind. This was originally a Johnny Mathis song. And that was his version was nominated for Best Song Academy Award. But we have heard this song Once before. Do you guys remember what album we heard the song on? I mean, Cat Stevens has a song Like this, but I don't know that it's on that album. This was on an album that I forgot was only Six songs long. David Bowie, Station to Station. This is the closer for this album.

[1:09:00]And now that I've heard the original, David's version is brilliant. Bowie's version. We're not That good friends. Sounds good. Hey, Matt, can I ask you sent us a message the other day When Willie Nelson was covering one of Beck's songs, Lost College. Is that right? Yeah. Album comes out November 1st. I think it's kind of that. It seems like it's a, I don't know if he's covering a bunch of songs or that was just the one cover on the album. I believe the album is called Last Leaf on the Tree. He's covering Lost Cause by Beck Hansen On song three on that album. And I don't know if he's released it, but you sent a cool Instagram clip of it. You guys know who he's covering on song four? Is it? It's Nina Simone. He's covering the song Come Ye by Nina Simone. So Matt, you sent this cool link of Willie Nelson doing Beck. It turns out he's also doing Nina Simone. So when it comes to covering Nina and Beck, who did it better? Willie Nelson

[1:10:00]Did it better. Willie Nelson still left her doing it, man. Can you imagine? It makes me Not want to stop smoking weed. All right, black. He stopped smoking weed. What? He stopped smoking. No, you're thinking of Snoop Dogg. No, he still consumes weed, But he stopped smoking it. What does consume mean? Yeah. He uses it another way. It's like, Maybe consumes the right heat. Maybe consume is the wrong word. Do you think Willie Nelson And Snoop Dogg eat like gummy bears like we do in Vegas? Or do they have like some other Contraption? They probably got some other stuff, right? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Gummys are such a Nice delivery system, though. Like you can't really improve upon it, can you? Do you think They ever eat a butt of Rob's dirty, lint filled pockets? I'm going to guess no. Oh, wow. Yes, That's nothing. Black is a color of my true love's eyes. This is Simone on piano. She recorded the songs a few times. I'm sorry. My true love's hair screwed that up because

[1:11:00]I was going to say, do you guys remember when you were younger? I was obsessed with, I'm going to marry somebody with blonde hair. Like that was my, I was like, Only women who are blonde hair are attractive to me. Did you guys have any hair color you were really Attractive to? No. Okay. I did. Now, I gotta admit, now that I think about it, There's some hot burnets, too. Oh, what was this hair color that you were, what hair color Were you out on? Well, hair color, am I out on? Like, are you like red hair lady? Is You're out? I don't want to say this, Russ. I don't want to say this in front of you. You say what you need to say. It's white hair. When it was white hair, I was Out on. It's Dorm. That was it. The guy in Mad Ben. What? The guy in Mad Ben. Yeah, Exactly. The guy in Mad Ben. They all like gray hair. If I should lose you, I was listening to this album kind of in the background and I had to find this part

[1:12:00]Because it made my jaw drop when I heard it. Listen to this voice here. People could sing this and make it, you have to listen to it. She really draws you in, yeah. She's vulnerable. She really does this in a way where you're just On the edge of, yeah. I mean, a true like, crazy. Either way, I lose. This is such a weird ending song. Just a bizarre, this whole album is a bizarre choice. It's so strange to me. Well, that's Nina Simone. Now, Aaron, did you ever hear, Let me ask you a question. Did you ever hear about Nina's two sisters? I've known them. No, they're distant cousins, the Mayflower.

[1:13:00]Trying to think of other famous ships. Can I only think of four famous ships? USS Enterprise. I mean, that's Star Trek. That's not even a real ship. This is our ship now. What was that? Didn't you play basketball with the one guy? Oh yeah. Yeah, but Captain Phillips, but he wasn't on the USS Captain Phillips. I don't know what his ship was named. What's another famous ship? The Titanic. Oh my God, Aaron, you nailed it. Good job. I was going to say Red October. All right. Listen, we don't care about the song. We care about the list. Okay. Edmund Fitzgerald. Man, that's so good. Good. Rob, you should play that whole like 18 minutes song and then do a funny joke at the end of it. We cannot play the whole Edmund Fitzgerald. We'll get a copyright strike so fast. Oh, you can. I don't know if I said this before. Some people in this house thought the barking dogs for eight minutes Before the joke was very funny. They did not think the airplane beeping noise for

[1:14:00]Eight minutes before the final joke was similarly funny. It makes, what? It doesn't make sense. It's the same bit. Did we do that? We did the same bit twice. Of course we did. We did. We're not, we're not going to do that. Okay. I definitely won't put the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald at the end of this song. Okay. But you know what? The winds of November make them We'll see. Russell, you're on a streak of great ideas. Ending the comedy podcast With the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is probably one of the greatest things I've ever Heard in my entire life. If we get copyright strike for that, I'm down. That's what ends us. All right. I could go under feeling proud of what we've done. It's been good to know you. We're at album 212. If this belongs at 212, that would be a rolling Well toned. Okay. It's right here. Great toned. We love it. Is this, listen,

[1:15:00]This is a weird album. It's all chopped up. It's all over the place. Should it be lower on the list? That means that this is a rolling groan. We did not care for it or is, should have been higher on The list. And we think this got rolling bone. This is my sneaky beat of the week. Okay. Did it get rolling bone? It should be higher up on the list. What do we think? I forget how weird that one is every time. Aaron, what do you think rolling well toned, rolling bone, rolling groan, Nina Simone, Wild as the wind? I think I know what they did here. Rather than choosing a best hits or greatest hits Or a compilation, they chose this album, which is something of a compilation, but it does Include sort of every genre that Nina touched in her life. So I get what they did And they were able to avoid using the greatest hits. I think there are other I'm not an expert. I do listen to Nina Simone a lot, but she, her catalog is so vast and she's

[1:16:00]Such a mysterious figure that it's hard to choose one thing for her. I think it's An odd choice, but I think she's a very important artist. So I think there's some great stuff On here. I'm going to give it a rolling well toned. Matt, what do you think rolling Well toned, rolling bone, rolling groan, wild thing is the wind. I have tried to get into Nina Simone. It feels like all the cool kids listen to Nina Simone. Everybody Knows Nina Simone, if you understand music and all this stuff. And I certainly hear the voice And I certainly can see why the music's so important. It's just not for me. And so I think It's way too serious. The long, very maybe dramatic. I don't know. It's hard for me to Listen to. I think sometimes because it's probably so well done it elicits that emotion Or whatever, but it's hard for me to listen to. So I think I'm with Rosie, where I understand the

[1:17:00]Place in history more than anything. And there are some good songs on here for sure. So I'm going To give it a rolling well toned as well. Russell, what do you think rolling well toned, Rolling bone, rolling groan, wild is the wind? Or it could be wild is the wind. We're not Sure. Actually, nobody's ever heard it said a lot or wheeled as the wind. Yeah, wheeled as the wind. I'll piggyback off Aaron and Matt a little bit. I was captivated, interested, Confused, that it was strange. And I think I said this earlier. In my mind, I thought this Was going to be this big, loud voice, like this voice that you just couldn't contain Like Aretha or Edda James or Adele. That's not what it was. It was so different And strange. And I'm a bit confused by that. This to me seems like a little bit of a, It's not greatest hits, Aaron. You said this earlier, but it's not an album either, Is it? I'm just, I'm a little confused by it. So I'm going to say it's rolling, Rolling well toned. I think she's got to be on here. I think she's too important not to

[1:18:00]Be in. Also, you guys know her first hit ever was from 1959. It was a rendition of The song, I Love You Porgy by George Gershwin. And as Aaron said, this is very Gershwini, Right Aaron? Gershwini. Yes. Yeah, there's some stuff in here. Yeah. So I'm going to say rolling Well toned. I was expecting something different. This was one of the ones On the list where I put it on in the car and I was expecting something totally different Than when I got, but it's amazing. She's so unique and so different. I'm going to say Rolling well toned. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect. This gets it a rolling emo shown. Emo shown. Yeah. In a voice, you can feel all the songs All the way down to your feet when you're listening to it. Anybody else, if you, If we had almost any other singer we've had on this list with a few exceptions, Sing these songs, it would sound like a cheesy lounge act for almost all of them. But with Her, you're just like, holy shit, this is serious business. Like I got to find out what

[1:19:00]The color of this person's air is. Now next up, okay, we have an album that I got to admit. We're just doing it for Aaron's wife. Because it's a Fiona Apple. The eyes of his wheels, Wiser than the drive of the screw, and the whipping cords will serve you more than the Ropes ever do next week. Here, Russell, I got a joke. I got a joke here. But you're just too lazy to look at a banger. We'll do our headroom fixture a little bit. We'll see what the roommate thinks of that. I already got a plan in my head. I know exactly what I'm going to do. It'll blow your mind. Yeah, you'll have to listen. Did you know that what's Weird, Aaron? Is you know what Fiona Apple was going to call this next album? Sex toys, adult toys. I got to let my kid go to bed here. Just wait until you Walked out again. Sex toys, adult toys, pillow position, cushion, triangle, inflatable ramp,

[1:20:00]Furniture, couple toys, position for deeper position, support pillow, men, women for couples. It's almost as poetic. It's crazy. That has to be like, that's only 1796. That's a lot of words For what the product is for 17 bucks. I feel like a sex toy, adult, swing, pillow, Position, cushion, triangle, inflatable ramp, finish position, couples, toy position, For deeper position, support, pillow, men, women's couples for couples. It's not something you skimp on in my room. Yeah, you're going to spend at least what I mean? 96 for that. You know what? Let's, let's, let's be a one to Vegas and just see what happens. I'll tell you what, Russell how if I had two dicks, what it would be like? What's that? I'd be doing the Pewee Herman back and forth just like Pewee Herman was Doing in the movie theater. No, no, no. I'd be doing it up and down. It would look like I'm on that triathlon bike. You know, this fun song to end on this way. Yeah. Is this on the list?

[1:21:00]The Tequila's, the Champs, I think they're at 501. Just missed it. On the Chippewa on down of the big lake they call Gejikumi. It is said never gives up her dead When the skies of November turn gloomy. Load of iron ore more than 26,000 tons more than the Admin fits Gerald Wade empty. That's good ship and crew was a bone to be chewed when the gales

[1:22:00]Of November came early. The pride of American sign coming back from some mill in Wisconsin. As the big freighters go it was bigger than most with a crew and a captain well seasoned. Put in some terms with a couple of steel firms where they're left fully loaded for Cleveland. Then later that night when the ship bells rang could it be the north wind that Fell in when the way breakfast had away came slashing afternoon came it was freezing rain in

[1:23:00]The face of a hurricane west wind who time came the old cook came on deck saying fellas it's been Rough to feed you in hatchway cave then he said fellas it's been good to know you and water

[1:24:00]Coming in and the good ship and crew was in feral ship when a sign in the wreck of the Admin does anyone know where the love of god goes when the way turns the minutes to hour 15 more miles behind her and took water the wives and the sons and the daughter

[1:25:00]Liquor and rose water mansion seems like a young man screams and the islands and bays Are for sportsmen takes in what like here we can send her the mariners all know We're the gales of november remember ain't 29 times