The Chicks: Fly (1999)

[0:00]It doesn't relate to the weight of my toner arm, does it? The weight of your toner arm? We better just move it along. Would that be your right arm, Russell? Would you say that's the toner arm? It's probably the toner of the two, yeah. I wouldn't say it's tone, but it is toner. How does it get so toned? What do you do that makes that the toner of your two arms? It's like when I got a massage and I told the woman I just played a lot of racquetball. That's why my forearms were so tight. Yeah, it's my toner arm. I jack off a toner with it. Like a printer? Oh, printer. Oh, my God, Russell. Do you have a printer at home? You're still dealing with a printer at home? Oh, I don't think I could do it anymore. Unless that shit was like, trying to think of the first printing press. Help me out. I'll edit it out. Who made the first printing press? We're idiots. Damn it. W.E.B. DuBose. No, he did something else. He was something else. In 2020. 2020. Four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by Rolling

[1:00]Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us To making this podcast. Johannes Gutenberg? Johannes Gutenberg. You know what? Goody. The Gutenberg. You know who's related to him. My favorite is when Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press, and when he went home, Guess what he found? One of the guys from Police Academy? Steve? I was thinking of Eli Whitney. I thought it was Eli Whitney. No, that was the cotton gin. One of my favorite drinks of all time. He, when, who was it again? Gutenberg? Alexander Graham Bell? No, no, no. Don't get me confused. You think he went by Alexander Graham Bell? Like, did they say Graham Bell fast? Or was it Alexander Graham Bell? Or was it Alexander Graham Bell? As, as, yeah, Graham Bell. Like. Alexander Graham Bell. He was so grumpy that he grambled all the time. Ugh. Gramble on. That's what that Led Zeppelin song was about. Johannes Gutenberg, Rob, sorry. Yeah, Johannes Gutenberg, he, first he invented the printing press, and then he came home, And his two male roommates. You're thinking of the Wright brothers.

[2:00]Oh. You're thinking of the Wright brothers. Orville. Wilbur. And his parents' name? Cool Steve. Why would Cool Steve name his kid Orville? That doesn't even make sense. You could do two things if your name's Orville. You could fly planes, or you could bake popcorn. Or, you could hang out with Tomas Edison on the weekends. Wow. Tomas Edison. Hello? Okay. Of course, Johannes Gutenberg came home to his two male, Three male roommates, and guess what they were raising? What's that? Three men, a baby. I had to think of it. Three men and a baby. They had a baby there. Okay, Gutenberg, the guy from Cheers. Ted Dansone. Who was the third guy? And I'm not talking about the guy behind the curtains. That creepy thing. It's gotta be Tom Selleck. It's Tom Selleck. Yes. Tom Selleck, and. One of the famous mustaches of the world. You gotta admit, if you're, if you're a woman, and you were gonna have sex with three roommates, The three guys from three men. Three men and a baby would not be the worst choice. I mean, that's three attractive guys, because apparently Steve Gutenberg is famous, you

[3:00]Know, for being quite the coxswain. But isn't it? Just to let you know. Now, in the show, is Ted Danson the ladies' man, or is it Tom Selleck the ladies' man? Because I think in the second one, three men and a little lady, I think it's more Tom Selleck. I think Tom Selleck kind of moves in on Ted Danson's ex-wife. Isn't it Ted Danson's baby? Isn't that the one? Isn't it his? I haven't seen the movie in 20 years, but is it Ted Danson who had the one night stand? I can't remember who it was. It's actually his baby? Maybe it was. But if Tom Selleck could act like he wasn't a ladies' man, he would deserve an Oscar. He would be the greatest actor of all time. It's like when, what's her name? Was Eileen Wuornos? What the hell are we talking about? When she was the serial killer lady, and you're like, wait a minute, this actress is quite Attractive, and now she's an ugly serial killer. She wins an Oscar. Listen, that's how it works, Russell. I think the three men and a little lady was a top 10 watched movie of our childhood due To my sister. That was a top. Oh. Top three movie that was played in our house.

[4:00]Three, not baby, the little lady version. What about, I'm going to hit you with this one, Russell, about this, because I got sisters Too, but my sisters are younger, so I wonder if it, look who's talking too. Did you ever hit any of the look who's talking movies? What are we talking about? The look who's talking where the baby talked? Isn't Danny DeVito in that or not? I think he's one of the voices, and then, because all I remember is that in one of the Movies, all the sperm talk. I think you're thinking of twins. All the sperm talk in one of the movies. And I would always think about that as a, by formative teenage years. I really thought about that a lot. So look, who's talking, who is the voice of the baby and look, who's talking. And then there's two of them and look, who's talking to, and one might be Roseanne. No, it's Rosie O'Donnell. No, no, no, no. Look, who's talking to Kirstie Alley. You know, she's the main actress. She's not the baby's voice. Okay. Look, who's talking to, we got Kirstie Alley. We got John Travolta. Now, by the way, everybody, Aaron's not here yet. Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis is the main actress. Baby voice. Bruce Willis. Damn.

[5:00]Olympia Dukakis is in that movie. She's the gilf. Abe Vigoda. Classic. Aaron's not here yet. Aaron is still out to dinner. He's going to come back and we haven't done anything but talk about look, who's talking To. Who is the male baby voice and look, who's talking or who's the Girl and look, who's talking to, is it Roseanne? I think you're thinking of look, who's talking now. That's the third. No, no, no, no. Wait. Wait a minute. Who's talking to look, who's talking to. Okay. Let's look here. I think Roseanne is the pink one. Roseanne bar. I Roseanne bar. You're totally right. Damn. Damn. You, this is the best look, who's talking podcast out there. Well what I didn't get is when the baby sang the national anthem and grabbed Her crotch. Everybody was like, oh my God, this is the worst thing I've ever seen. I remember my parents were like traumatized by that because we loved the show Roseanne. Can you imagine sitting around with your family right now and watching Roseanne? It'd be, it'd be crazy. Who were the two sisters in Roseanne?

[6:00]What was the movie? What was the, it was, Jackie Dar, no, Darlene. And what was the older one? Darlene and Michelle. DJ was the son daughters. I'm talking now. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God we don't have a TV podcast. This is terrible. I have a, my sister-in-law, my brother's wife was big into the show. Roseanne Becky. Becky. Were you a Becky or were you a Darlene person? Rob Becky. I would bet the farm that Aaron was a Darlene guy. Oh yeah. Oh, for sure. Just ask him a hundred percent. No context when he gets around. If he's a Becky or Darlene, see if he gets it. I'm going to guess that he says that he liked the sister. He liked Jackie. No. Yep. He's going to go off. He's going to go off the chart, off the table. He's going to say Jackie. I think Aaron shrugs his shoulders and goes, never saw Roseanne. Oh my God. That's crazy. I got a dollar on it. Let's put a, let's put a dollar on it. Let's put money in. I got a dollar on a shrug. I never saw Roseanne.

[7:00]All right. I'll say a dollar that he goes off the table. Not the two daughters. So you think he's not going to know what we're talking about? I'll say he's, I'll go with the Darlene. So Becky's the wild card. Becky's the easy one. I'll say he's Darlene. All right. Becky, I'll Venmo Aaron. $3. He won't know what hit him. Yep. Now listen what movie I tried, did try to watch Steve Gutenberg movie the other Day was police Academy. I told the girls, Oh, I remember this is a funny movie. Let's watch it. I can just tell you now, a lot of the jokes, not appropriate. No. Okay. Lots of inappropriate humor that is no longer funny. So something to think about. Classic Steve Gutenberg short circuit. Are you guys a Johnny five short circuit? Of course. Yep. Johnny five where he needs more data. I forgot that was Steve Gutenberg. God, he was on a run. Now I just typed in Gutenberg penis size. Okay. And I'm on this page. That's called, Steve Gutenberg. Celebrity bulge. I'm on our celebrity bulge.

[8:00]Now look at this celebrity bulge. Russell, look at this bulge. Is that, he looks like he's packing, doesn't it? Well, it's hard to tell. That's like, if you're going to wrap it in whatever that type of material is, that's Like a silver spandex. Yeah. It's I, I can tell you when I'm doing this in a silver spandex, it looks like when I Pee, it would go straight out and not down. If you know what I'm talking about, Russell what I'm talking about? I'm busy Googling. Jack Holden is Ted Danson. So they're saying Ted Danson. That's it. Mary was up with a note saying it was from a, like a one night stand. Part of what takes a turn is three men. And a little lady is essentially when I think Tom Selleck falls in love with, I Believe it may be the actual mom. And then he becomes the ultimate dad at the end. He marries her at the end. And I believe Ted Danson is wearing some sort of funny makeup and he pulls off The funny makeup to show that he is actually the preacher. So I went on celebrity. Bulge to see what the top posts of all time are.

[9:00]And it turns out that there are a bunch of men that I don't know who are like Young men and it shows their dongs and like underwear. And I'm starting to think that maybe this is a site that's not for me. I've yet to see one of the, there are no celebrities. I did not recognize any of these except for Prince. Yeah, it's no, it's all. I thought it was going to be like who I'm used to Liam Neeson, probably one of the best celebrity penis photos of All time. You know, the funny thing is Liam. Neeson would walk out of a bathroom with P all over his pants, Rob, And make fun of you for holding your phone in the urinal. Like he would laugh at you. I mean, look at this picture. Look at how much P has on his pants. It's a crazy amount. I mean, look at this and everyone where he's pissed his pants. I mean, there's so many of them, everyone. It's so low. It's so low. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The P is coming out a long way down away from his body, much lower than it Would have my body. I'm just going to say that right now. He likes his pants up more than you do.

[10:00]You know, thinner guys can let those pants ride A little higher. That's a good point. Thicker guys cannot let pants ride high. That's a great point, Russell. It looks like a Bundt cake is stuck in there. It's trying to get out. This results in a text chain That's celebrated the music excursion of the order And led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own unless you disagree. Can you imagine if you're that baby And you grew up and it turns out of the three, Like two super handsome gentlemen, Your biological father is actually Steve Gutenberg, Like the five foot six guy. I what? That would be a bummer If you thought there's a chance You're gonna look like Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck is kind of my like, Like everything about him, Facial hair wise, face wise, body hair wise. He's kind of my goal. Of course, his mustache guy With kind of some curly hair. I mean, of course you're all over. Oh yeah. It would be like having sex with a mirror, But like a fun house mirror Where it's warped me to look at a different size. Let's see that mustache, Rob. Let's, let's see that in the camera. Let's see that thing. You know what they started doing?

[11:00]Gave it now. So there's a little lip below it. You could see a little lip down there. That's what they say. A little bit. That's what they say. Michael Jordan. It's too bad. Oh, the nickname Magnum though, like he did. Oh my God. Can you imagine if your nickname was Magnum? I can tell you there'd be a lot of people Disappointed if my nickname was Magnum. Then I was like, It's because I have a mustache. Like Tom Selleck. Magnum Rabbi. I actually get the, I actually get the Magnum small condoms. A lot of people don't know they make that. They only make really big ones. I think really small ones. We pull up a Magnum PI theme song before we start. Of course. I'm going to say this is a top 10 80s TV show theme song. This is a great one. I remember being like, I wish I could see the episode with the helicopter. You know what I mean? Cause there's that one in the opening theme. They have the helicopter And then you never saw it during the show. This should probably be up in list. This should probably, We should probably just, We should start over the intro. Start this again and then say in 2020 With this and the background. All right, here we go. Hit the music and then start it. We'll be quiet. I gotta switch them between. In 2020, four friends decided to listen

[12:00]To every one of the greatest 500 albums Decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain That celebrated the music, Excoriated the order And led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own. Unless you disagree, please sit back and enjoy. Back did it better. We're all the way up to album 224 from 1999, A bad year to graduate from high school. We just have, oh wait a minute, I got it. That what, that works. That works. That does work, doesn't it? From 1999, we have the chicks with Fly. You know what? This was a good joke. I was wrong. Why are there so many songs called Fly? Come with stuff coming up back then called Fly. Doesn't make any sense. Play the other Fly one. There's some good Fly ones From the late 90s. What else is there? Feels like there's like a...

[13:00]Oh what? I know what it is. Yep, there we go. This is exactly what it is. This is what we were all thinking of With the Fly song. I think this is Brian from East St. Paul. I think this is what, Is this what his walk-up song is? I feel like he's talking about this one. Yeah. This was a song. Is there a song that reminds you of hanging out With your high school bros more than this song? I mean, that's gotta be Chumba Whomba. Oh, Chumba Whomba. Chumba Whomba, we all know that though. Listen, we can't just be talking about 90 songs That have the word Fly. Pretty Fly for a white guy. There's that one. I would say Machine Head would be mine. That's hanging out with senior, your high school guys. Like you're getting in a car at like 7.30 in the morning And your buddy's cranking bush Machine Head. This is Russ Winamp. This is a great, this is a classic Winamp. Put it in the chat, Rob.

[14:00]Great song, Russell, great song. But wait a minute. You know what? Russell, you're rolling with kind of Higher energy crowd than I was, I think. You hear that? There might be giants getting played in this car, Is there? This album has to be 501 on the list. It's 16 Stones. It's a whiff not being on there, is it? Yeah, yep. Rob, you see the chat? See what I got there for you? No, not at all. I'm not distracted. I'm dialed in right now, okay? I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. And it doesn't matter who's saying it. We don't need to talk about who's saying it. I've seen a Fly song in person. It was Fly Like an Eagle by an old guy. Ooh, Steve Miller. That's a good one. I ain't an old guy. I used to think that I'd see the stars And listen, this unknown singer, A good singer.

[15:00]Don't even need to mention him. 21 million views from eight years ago. Let's see what those comments are turned off, I bet. This wasn't a song for the Michael Jordan 80s. I think it was, yeah. Was it? That's what made me think about it Right away was the Michael Jordan. And then you know what? You almost forgot about SEAL. Yep. You know what I mean? I wanna play at North Carolina. I mean, look at this. No, why did it switch to that? Don't piece of shit. Remember SEAL covered Steve Miller? Aaron, we're doing the best Fly songs from the 90s. So far, we've done. Can you restart the other song And redo the opening for Aaron And just watch him get pumped? And then we'll go back to the other question That we were saving. Is this the rating system? Do your intro as quick and then we'll bring it back. Listen. No, no, no, we can do this. Foo Fighters. Let's look. Okay, wait a minute. Foo Fighters, what? Learn to fly. Oh my God.

[16:00]Great song. Oh, learn to lean to ply. I wrote. Learn to play. No, that's now taking me to guitar lessons. All right. Here, let's try this. You know what? There were a ton of good Fly songs in the 90s. We should have had a lift. This is a top 10. We're gonna do Sugar Ray. I'm sure we did that right. Dude, well, we'll go Aaron. We've cruised through the other one. Yeah. Aaron, that was the first one, Aaron. The joke was what, Aaron? I was gonna say you can listen back to it, But you're not gonna do so. You might miss out. Not unless you make me. Back in the pervert corner. Don't talk about the pervert corner. What does that mean? What's the pervert corner? I'll show you. You guys aren't stuck in the pervert corner with me. I'm stuck here with you. You adopted the pervert corner. Listen to this. We are thinking now. New theme song. Aaron, close your eyes. Don't see if you can guess this theme song. Okay. 18.

[17:00]No, boss. Good guess. Do it with the read, Rob. Oh, sorry. Is that the 18? In 2024, friends decided to listen To every one of the greatest 500 albums Decided by released on magazine. This resulted in a text chain That celebrated the music, Excoriated the order, And led us to make it this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own Unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Oh, yeah. I do get energy. That's what I gotta say. Yeah. Magnum guy. We are all the way up to 225 on the list. Wow. 2001, we have Fly by the Dixie Chicks. Not known as the Chicks. There. You know what, guys? There's a lot of fly songs from the 90s. Rob, now you got to turn it Into a quick episode mode. You probably have. Okay, quick episode mode. Yeah, I promise. It's true. Here we go. Here comes the longest song of all time. Real quick before the song though, Aaron. Yes, Russell. We have a Roseanne question. Oh, no, well, no, no, that's not going to put it.

[18:00]You blew it. Were you more of a Darlene or a Becky person? Which one was on scrubs? What the fuck? What the fuck, Aaron? Whoever said they weren't a Rose, Wasn't a Roseanne person, wins the money. Yes, that's what it was. Thanks. Wasn't one of them on scrubs? Yes, Sarah Chalk was on, she was on scrubs. Throw a picture. That was Becky. There's a Becky guy. What, one of the Becky's? Oh what? Here's the deal. Was a different actor from season six to nine And then she went on to scrub. That was the second Becky. Oh my God. Aaron picked something. He picked up the second Becky and knocked off Becky. I don't know Roseanne. I don't know Roseanne. Yes, that's what I told you he would say, Ernest. I don't know Roseanne. These guys owe me a dollar. You don't have any opinions on Jackie? The bummer. Is she the honorant? You do know Roseanne. Thank you. Is she stuck in a dryer? Okay, no.

[19:00]Well, now I'm off to A.I. If anybody would know if she's ever got stuck In a dryer, it would be Rob. And he said that no, really quick. You're thinking of Mona. You're thinking of Mona. I always enjoyed her national anthem. Wait, are we just getting started? I've already made that joke, Aaron. And you'll guess what? I made that joke in a look who's talking two bit. Okay, that you missed out on. This is what happens when I go see Dog Man the Movie. Can't recommend it. A Dog Man. I saw it tonight too, Rosie. Oh my God. Russell. Like 48 of third graders. Never heard of this. At his school. I took a nap. I fell asleep as well. I missed the last 45 minutes. I have no idea. You guys must be paying less than I do Because when I go to a movie, I pay so much. I'm like, wide awake. I'm like, look at the screen. I was like 15, 36 or something like that. That's what I paid for my ticket. Oh, that's pretty close. That's such a good deal. It's crazy. Listen, let's go to the radio now. Again, I have committed a crime. I have made an entire song, parody song.

[20:00]I apologize. These always are disasters. But the song is so good. What can I do? Let's turn on K-Rob and see what comes on the radio In 1999. Hey, maybe it's a song about flying. Wait, so have you guys heard this or not heard it? No, not yet. Nope. Oh, wow. Okay. What's up, everybody? We're on K-R-O-B. You know, the holiday times are a special time, But a really special time is normally The day after the holidays. But not this year. Oh, yeah. Madden the kids get up real early Right after Christmas Day. They all go to the grocery store, Get some cantaloupe and cheese. Then they'll get some donuts making sure they're round. Then they'll get back in the car. They'll drive down Portland Avenue Has their head in four monarchs.

[21:00]That's obvious. Yeah, Nicklin. Hold on. Do you want to get there early before anyone else To get that year in sale? Because Matt spends all of his Christmas money Buying yard inflatables. He's got a sputter man hanging a pile of poop And a big old Mike Wazowski. I went and found an old pig. But he wants to get a few more, and Matt's only rule Is he needs to get them cheap. Well, Matt explains to his sons That the leftover ones are the best one for the yard. When they went inside, there was a nasty surprise. And that's when it all went wrong. Most of the blow-ups were gone. Oh, no. Senders had an early sale that couldn't believe.

[22:00]She blow-ups went to a kid's crying all day Because their daddy failed. Little fuck-but-art. Fuck-but-art. Fuck-but-art. And their early sale. Dana, I want to go with Ed here. No, you can't. You can Ed here, Rob. They looked at the ones that were left over, But they were just the worst. One was just a big brown starfish getting Fingered by Fred Durst. One was just a tax return, and another was just a square. They had one that was 20 feet tall, But it was just red pubic hair.

[23:00]Well, Matt had to pass on the one that looked like grass, Even though it was 9.38. Matt didn't buy the 6-foot pubic lice, But he turned to his kids to say, next year We're coming Christmas Day. Yeah. Menards had an early sale. It made Matt sick. Think of deals had by other males. He's crying all day. Their dad's wife, well, she was told. Oh, yeah. Fuck menards. Great timing. That's when you want to hear about the great menards. I could see your wife not being too upset about you

[24:00]Coming home empty-handed from an arts side. Oh, she would be. Why menards do you have to walk through a turnstile? Why do we need to count every person that Walks through the building? So you're not walking out. It only goes one way, Russell. So you can't go back out through those. And so you can't, like, trap. Yeah, you're trapped, so you can't take stuff with you And go out those gates. There's no other store that has a turnstile. I'm not stuck in menards with you. You're stuck at menards with me. Menards always makes me think of Fleet Farm, Where my dad said that Fleet Farm always Had very strict security. And so even as a young man, I would pretend to shoplift there. Like, I would act like I was putting stuff in my pockets, Just praying a security guard would come and be like, Empty your pockets. I'd be like, fuck you. I don't have anything. Fuck you. Mike from Richfield, that was his big thing. He'd always pretend whenever there were security guards. He would just mess with them. And then they'd say, you got to leave, sir. And he'd put his hands straight up, Like they were the cops walking about and stuff.

[25:00]That was his big, that was his bed. A classic bed. I do, I will say, I got a text from John That he sent to the group of me entering a Hudson news And it said a crime is about to happen. Maybe laugh very hard. I did not shoplift on that whole trip, though, Down to Las Vegas. I know it's very disappointing. They what? And one, they were watching me. They were like behind me. I was like, I think we have a listener to the podcast. I think they're a big fan. Listen, we are here talking about the chicks. We're talking about the 1999. One of those members of the kickball team That was watching your, Oh, that would be real. I was listening to part of the podcast last week. I don't know who brought this up. The real with the real whiff with the kickball tournament That was in Vegas. Why didn't we play? Right. We had 10 guys. Right. Yes. We should have played. We had guys and it's a perfect excuse to fuck Steve. Hey, you want me to prove it? But no, we didn't say, we didn't say that. All right, we'll prove it. Steve, who's catching Rob?

[26:00]Oh my God. I'm versatile. I could pitch or catch. We absolutely should have signed up. I think it would have been fun. It was cold though. It was really cold. No matter what, just like a kickball, I would hit Steve with the ball in the head. So that's a, Our team would have had multiple college athletes. And Rob, that's so fucked. That's so fucked. I'm a world almost champion. Russell, I'll remind you, Rob was the best athlete on his softball team, Which included Corey from Gibbon Fairfax. I'll have you know, I was a captain on the B squad Frisbee team. Mostly that's because I was willing to get naked For some of the cheers. That was kind of the main thing you had to do If you were a captain and I was, I was like, okay, I'll do it. You're naked on the Frisbee field? Oh yeah, for sure. I put a Frisbee over, They'd all surround me and then back up and show that. In retrospect, probably not okay. Probably not as much consent being assed as I should have.

[27:00]That was the case to John for me. Dinah was the captain of the B squad baseball team. He did that all the time. He just had a red cup. I was smart. He was covering his junk. If I would have known that's the best I'm ever going to look naked, I would have been naked just as much as I was, Which was a lot. I kind of thought we might get some naked John In Las Vegas, But his clothes were all the way on, Plus the panda. What a loser. Honest question. Don't you think you look better naked now Than you did in college? I would say that you'd probably look better naked right now Than you did in college. Let me go to my Google Photos. Yeah, I think so. Well, here I am tying my shoes. I don't know. Oh. That one. Applying gold. I don't think so. I think I don't think so. I think I would rather, Who would I rather sleep with me now Or me in college? No, I'm not saying, I bet you look better. I didn't see a naked in college. I don't think. You think I look better in college? You think I look like that bad now? No. I think you look better now Than you did in college. Oh, wait a minute. You might be right. God, that would be great. God, that would be great If I look better now. I mean, you're much stronger.

[28:00]You're much stronger now. You're a lot stronger than I think That I think we give you credit for. That's a great point, Matt. I'm leaving my family. Okay, I'm gonna strike out In the world for y'all goes. I'm a confident white guy. Unstoppable. You know what? You should lose just enough, Just a little bit more weight, Because you're going fat. Just enough weight. Don't get me started on that. I cannot talk to you about What's going on with my bulgogi. Hey, I can't. This has got to be a short episode. I'm so fucking pissed. Hey, Rob, I've been mad all night. God, this is great. Rob just wants to lose enough weight Where if another woman gives him a burrito, He'll leave his, He can cheat on his wife with it. I just said another woman To give me a burrito. I would be, I would be instantly suspicious. I'd be like, Then you'd be like, I don't want to eat it Because my bulgogi's fucking me up. Rob, what's going on with bulgogi? I'd be like, You're going to have a burrito drug And you're going to try to have sex with me. And do you have a second one? So today, my bulgogi, Since I've gotten back from Las Vegas, They keep saying, So I go, they said, We can't give it to you anymore. Insurance issue. So I make a doctor's appointment During the school day. I leave during the school day, Go to the doctor. He's like, why are you here?

[29:00]I'd be like, I need my bulgogi. He says, okay, I go back. He puts the bulgogi in. The pharmacy says, Insurance issue. Can't fill it out. So I go, Then I get a text from them. You need to call us with an issue And I was like, fuck me. So then I go to the pharmacy, Wait in line, Get there. And I said, what You said you wanted to talk to me And I called. You just sit in the pharmacy chair And you just stand. No, disgusting. I almost took a picture And sent it to you guys. I did not do that. But I called and of course, They didn't pick up for 20 minutes. So then I went there Because it's in the building I live in, But it's in the literally the same building. So I walked down there And then the guy goes, Yeah, I said, There's something wrong with my medicine. Like, tell me what's going on. He goes, yeah, there's an insurance issue. And I was like, motherfucker, I already knew that. You called me down here to it. He goes, yeah. So what ended up happening is I had to call my insurance company Tonight, Friday night. And I'm out walking the dog. So I call my insurance company. They transfer me To the EasyScript prescription drug company. Now, mind you,

[30:00]I just went to the doctor For the first time ever last summer. I kind of assumed that when I got medicine, They would just give me medicine forever Or until I got better or whatever. Like, it never occurred to me That I wouldn't just get all the medicine I wanted And that they would send it to me And I wouldn't have to think about it. Turns out that's far from the truth. So now I'm on the phone with the guy. He goes, oh yeah, You need to sign up with our engagement program Where you get a personal coach And we send you a scale. If you want to keep getting this, We'll go via through the insurance. Perfect, you have coaches. And I was like, I said, oh, I said, Okay, let's do it. He goes, okay, are you by a computer? I said, no, I'm out walking my dog. I'm not going to be back for another 20 minutes. He's trying to lose weight. I'm walking my dog. What the hell? And the guy goes, okay, I'll stay on the line. And I said, well, no, maybe you didn't hear me. I'm going to be out for 20 minutes. He goes, yeah, I know. But if we go off the line, You're just going to have to call back And somebody else and start over. I mean, that's pretty considerate of you. I love it. I said, okay. So I'll just, because I'm pissed at this point. I was pissed at my doctor Because I had a little bit of Tuesday to go. I was pissed at Dwayne Reed.

[31:00]Kind of perverted, huh? He just wanted to take a walk with Rob. That's all I wanted to do. No, no, no, Rob, I'm good. I'll just stay on the line for a while. I know you're going to make love to your wife. I'll stay on the line for a while. Yeah, do your thing. I'll just be on the line. It's okay. I'll be right here on the line. Whatever you're doing is fine. All he heard was the audio of the TikToks I was watching. So it was like busty grandmas Who are still in the business. He's like, what is this guy watching? So then I come back. Don't you have like a little blind dog? There's no way you're walking that far from the house. Well, no, I got to walk him. It's 25 minutes. So then I put him on mute. I keep walking. I come back to the apartment. I have dinner because I figure why not? This guy's gonna wait. I'll wait a little bit longer. So then I come in, I sit at the computer. This guy leads me through a 20 minute process Where I have to sign up for this health thing Where I'm going to be getting Multiple texts from people, have a coach, okay? And they kept saying, why are you doing this?

[32:00]And I kept writing. I am being forced to by my insurance company. Like they're like, what is about you? And I said, I'm a world champion power lifter, Which is a lie, but they won't know. So then the guy signs me. So now I said, okay, so can I get, So are you gonna give me the medicine now? He goes, guys, two nights ago, I ate two sleeves of Ritz crackers. Like in one sitting, I just hammered it. I've gained like five pounds without this medicine. I am like, Samson was short hair. Okay, it is terrible. I eat everything. It's a disaster. I've erased all my progress. Can you just make your wife pay for it? Yeah, wait a minute, I could. Oh, that's fucked too. I'll tell you, I'm fucking pissed about the money I make at school. I'll tell you about that next episode. So then, well what? This episode's longer. This is just gonna be the Rob show. So let me tell you, let me just tell you how this ends. So I said, okay, well now I signed up. So can you approve the medicine? And he goes, yeah, you gotta call your doctor again And have them send it in another request. Son of a bitch. I was like, you got to be shit me. So then I'm like, okay, well, do that Saturday.

[33:00]I look it up. My place doesn't fucking open until Monday. So now I got to wait the whole weekend After doing all this shit. I'm so pissed. And even worse, I had Wednesday off this week. Okay, that's not, okay, for a Lunar New Year. Wednesday off, and you left early for Dr. Ziport. Oh, you got Lunar New Year off? Lunar New Year off, yeah, of course. Okay, fast try. Now, Jenny, of course, on my day off, Scheduled a appointment with a new tax accountant. And we had to have a 30 minute Zoom call with him Where he would say things like, What do you want out of this? And we were like, I don't know, We've gotten audited the last three years. We need that to stop. Please do our taxes the right way. Cause apparently the tax guy we hired before, Who was the husband of Jenny's belly dancing teacher, Duluth is not doing a good job. I just want to remind you're in Duluth Like 12 years ago, we had not switched tax ties. We don't live in a different state. Say that again. Who's your tax guy? The tax guy was Jenny's belly dancing teacher's husband. I mean, there's so much unpack. The Duluth belly dancing teacher's husband. Yes, right. The famous belly dancing capital of Minnesota, Duluth.

[34:00]Are you required to have a hairy belly? We're the belly dancer. It's so cool. Like the belly dance, they can't even perform outdoors. What is triggered? I mean, I got to ask, you don't have to tell me What is triggered the audit for three straight years. It's because last year they, the guy sent in a thing That said we had $80 of stocks. We have a little bit more than that. I'm just gonna say that. And we look, we go, why did he think we had $80? That's crazy. That's the dumbest thing ever. And then every time you talked to Jenny, he would be like, You guys should be buying real estate in Las Vegas. And it would drive Jenny fucking nuts. Wait, yeah. She would go crazy. Oh, oh yeah, no. But he's a belly dancing teacher's husband. Now reminder, Jenny took belly dancing When we were in Duluth when she was eight months pregnant. So she was one of the best belly dancers. It was crazy how good that belly dancing she was. She had the biggest belly. And then I got a picture of it, Like a 12 by 10, a huge one, put it in a big frame. And the only place Jenny will let me hang it up Is in my closet. So if you move my clothes in the back,

[35:00]You can see a picture of my pregnant wife And a belly dancing outfit. Right next to the front side of her running toilet. I think we were in Lutzen and we were drinking off the luge. I think that's when like prime, I think she did a little show, didn't she? Oh yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah, she had her belly dancing. Man. I don't think I was invited to that. Can you guys imagine, how do you think that feels To hear about these things that happened? Well, I found out about the next year When we had a kid and then we were, We said, okay, when's this happening? And they said, you're not invited. You have a kid. That is what they should have done. That is true. I remember that. That is what you guys are going to bring. I remember that. Yes. You're going to bring the kid. And it was like, it's, it's, it's, it's so funny To think Rob is annoyed. Like Rob thinks other people were the wrong of this. He's convinced they were in the wrong. I forgot about that. Maybe we're 100% of the right. Listen, if there's one time where you should be Eating a ton of thin mints And getting high with David from a diet coke can Down in the basement, It's right the year after you've had a kid. I didn't even want to go skiing. Don't worry though. Jenny doesn't still bring it up. It is mad about it.

[36:00]So all those listeners out there Who are maybe married to these people. Don't worry. We don't talk about it still. Now. Whoa. Now we've got four guys here who remember When this album put on a cape And it was covered by Curtis Mayfield. Super fly. I like that. Every time we say fly, I'm just going to play that. This is a reminder. It's a good bit. Good drop. Now I've got a man in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good. I sure enjoyed the rain, Rob, But I'm looking forward to the sun. I'll tell you what you know. It's almost like when Erin wasn't here, We didn't want to start. You know what I mean? Like we just like, We don't really want to start. We tried to be tough. My clock said 40 minutes. Right now, 40 minutes. Yeah, I was like, guys, go ahead. Yeah, I know. We can't do it, Eric. Our three-minute and a little lady's stuff Was pretty strong. I'm, I'm, I think we're skipping rolling golins this week. I'm skipping mine. Just saying you can go right by me. Make it a little bit. Rob, let's get going. I can't. I can't. I made a theme song for it. No, this is Rob's show. We've had a bunch of them already. I've got Russell in Minneapolis.

[37:00]Russell, how are you doing? Guys, the other night I bought some land At a road science stand And tonight I'm selling strawberry jam And my Tennessee ham. Wow. Wow. I will not eat it in a house. I will not eat it with a mouse. Will I eat some here or there? I will eat them anywhere. I've got Erin. Now, Erin told us that recently He got a gun to protect himself against a bird That was in his neighborhood. And I said, Erin, aren't you getting carried away? And he go, no fucking way. I just shoot the thing. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Erin, how are you doing? Rob, those black eyed peas tasted all right to me. Let's talk about the chicks. Can we say, Are we, we really can't say Dixie Chicks? We can't do it? Well When this album came out there Are the Dixie Chicks, But they are now the chicks. I know, it's hard. It's hard nuts. And I get it. I respect them for them. It's hard nuts. Yeah, I get why they changed. I use the word chicks almost every day. So for me, it's quite easy. We can skip, should we skip voicemail?

[38:00]We can skip voicemail. No, skip rolling chords. Now I did pick the long song. Why did I do this? I didn't know this was a song. I didn't either. I don't know what this is. There's only a minute 43 left of this song. I don't remember this song at all. Man, if you don't call, oh, yeah. Our fans could call, But now we have a problem Because we have played them all. I don't like to do it, But I need to beg y'all. I need our dumb shit fans. Give the back line a call. Perfect. Right there. Love it. There you go. And hey, by the way, that song's wrong. We got tons of messages. Don't bother calling. It's probably full. There's a great debate That is sweeping the United States. It's dividing generation versus generation. What is your take On the top sheet

[39:00]When it comes to betting? And also, what are your guys' take On the Scandinavian Sleeping method Of two separate duvets For both people sleeping? I don't know. So, is there two parts? What's the top sheet debate? I don't even know. What is the top sheet, man? Do you have a sheet? Do you have like a duvet sheet? And then Your fitted sheet that goes on in your bed? Of course. Nope. I haven't had it in years. You just have a duvet? Yeah. What's a duvet cover? You don't sleep but make it like I do. That's the tight one around the bed? What are we talking about? That's the fluffy one. It holds tight around the corners of the bed. That's the fitted sheet that goes around, yes. You're thinking of the Velcro hand restraints. That's not a sheet. That's totally separate. What's the duvet then? Well, it's like a comforter Or it's the top, the thick. Like in the winter

[40:00]Whatever your top... Comforter. Yeah, but you put a cover over it, Russell, And then it's a duvet. It goes from comforter to being French When you cover it up with something. Like another blanket? Sure. No, no, no, no, no. It's more like, think about putting a pop tart Back in its package. That's what it would be. That's true. You guys see what a professional teacher I am? Everybody understands what I'm saying there. So, Russell, are you getting in tight sheets When you get in the bed? Your bed's all tight? Oh, there's the fitted. He's talking about the one that... When I was in college, I was like, Oh, this fitted sheet kind of also fits around me. I can just lie up here. It's like I'm going to cocoon. I feel like I'm going to feed this in a... I have strong opinions on this. Okay, let's hear it. Straight up. I called the middle sheet.

[41:00]No middle sheet at all. That's sad. And then I have suggested To my lovely wife, Like, have you heard of the Scandinavian thing When you start rolling to this way? It kind of pulls everything this way. And sometimes you're left with not, You know, just a little bit. So I suggested this and she roundly said, That would be way too weird. Really? So it is... If you look on websites, They are talking about Norwegians Having two duvets. Purple links. You're in the same bed, But it's essentially like you have two twin duvets And I think, yeah. I think that's brilliant. I do like to have my feet out from underneath The top sheet. And Anna likes to have the top sheet Tucked into the bottom of the bed. But during the 2016 finals, I read an article, 2015 finals, I read an article about André Guadala

[42:00]And all that he did to get better sleep. And he insisted that you need to have Your ankles uncovered. And obviously that's the only difference That Guadala has that he has a better ankle Sleeping. He's getting his number retired, right? I think so, yeah. So now your ankles are exposed? I prefer that, yeah. I can't do that. Okay, yeah. It's cold in here too, man. It's been like... 50? Can you imagine Aaron asking his wife Like, hey, you should expose your feet While you're sleeping? But the separate duvet wouldn't fix that Because it's all about the top sheet. Yeah, but what if you had two... Because sometimes I'll just take the sheet, And I'll just have a sheet to myself. What if you had two sheets and two duvets? Do you think you would sleep better? Would that make your marriage better, Your life better? No, because how do you snuggle? That's very clever.

[43:00]Do you guys spoon the entire night? No, I mean like in the morning. Not the whole night. You get like a second before your kid comes in And jumps on your balls or whatever. What, is this fantasy land? Your wife doesn't wake up three hours Earlier than you. That's crazy. No, we tend to get up at the same time. You can then share the same duvet When you want to do that, But when you're 95% of the time When you're just sleeping Separate or whatever, It's better. In the summer, Tara would rather Be warmer, I guess. So she would rather have a thicker blanket In the summer. I could go in the summer, I could just be a sheet guy. I just need a little bit of a top layer. Just a little suggestion of, yeah. Russell, what do you think? Two duvets? I've been looking at duvets versus Comforter pictures for 10 minutes And I can't tell the difference. They look exactly the same.

[44:00]I can't tell the difference. Are you saying strange underwears And not knowing the duvet? 15 years ago. I think of a duvet as Like a feather Heavier Middle section, And then you've got just a cover that goes over it That you can wash, but you would never just sleep With just the... You guys know what I'm talking about? Just the duvet. You need the duvet cover on it. Russell, it's a scam. It's one of these scams of a pillow. It's a washing machine When you're ready to wash it kind of a thing, But you have to... What's on a hotel bed? Depends. I can tell you that the... Jesus Christ. The residence-ins are all duvets with duvet covers. Other ones are not. They're just a couple of thicker sheets, But usually it's a duvet with a duvet cover. So they're not washing like the actual big, Thick part of the blanket. It's just the cover that's around it. You know when you would do hand stuff with a girl

[45:00]In college and you were on a blue sheet? Like there's the blue sheets on the bed? Every guy had them. That's the fitting sheet. And then you know how you had a comforter That was like animal print? That's not a duvet. You put that in a bag. Yeah, then you put that in a bag. Russell had neither a comforter nor a duvet. He had a Philadelphia Eagles blanket. Fly Eagles fly, right, Russell? No, I had a comforter. I also had a comforter. I thought you just had the Philadelphia Eagles blanket. The eagle got so much that blanket got so much squirt on it. He was like, what do I do now? Ah! And it takes years to perfect Getting the duvet cover over the duvet. And I've got it down to science after. Wow. Do you tie it inside? Yeah, you have to. You tie it and then you flip it in. No, so you pull the far corners out. You know what? Let's get into a very shortened Roll-in go-in.

[46:00]It's time to see what everybody's up to. I'm telling you, Matt, how many years are you From a two-bed couple? Never. No, we've got a big king bed. There you go. Plenty of room between us to stretch out, Not worry about touching. I don't know, guys. My own room. Be pretty sweet. Michael Jordan poster. I almost said Michael Jackson poster. You come to my house and I'm in my room With my Michael Jackson poster. You know things have gone wrong. If we did anything, the limit would be Going to the Norwegian stuff. I think didn't John's, didn't John From Edina's song about you imply That you had your own room? I feel like the song implied that you had your own room. I wish. I don't know. Because I would have the Michael Jackson poster Because it would be great. I would love to have a TV and a little video game thing. And his own bedroom. Yeah, he did.

[47:00]Yes, that's right. You know the song. You're enrolling on how it's going with you. It's going okay. The thing I'm concerned about lately Is television resolution. I have gone down A thousand and one Internet rabbit holes trying to figure this shit out. I bought a new TV. I was listening. If you have access to Max. Yep. The TNT NBA broadcasts Look way better on Max than they do on actual TNT. So I want everyone to know that. Max takes care. What kind of subscription do you have Where you have TNT, actually? YouTube TV. YouTube TV for TNT. We should be looking at the NBA and TNT. But on YouTube TV, I've got TNT, That would be NBC, the interlaced. And interlaced Is not as good for sports as progressive And Max upscales to TNT progressive. So I learned that it's not funny. It's not that interesting, but I wanted to share that

[48:00]With our listeners. And that's how it's rolling with me. Can I tell you, first of all, my TV resolution? I'm going to watch more of it. Yeah, I've been watching a ton of TV Because I'm trying to figure this shit out. I'm up till midnight watching TV. Last night I was watching, what did I watch? I watched The Cycling Ladies. I watched the Christmas Day NBA game Because that was on ABC. I watched Houston and Memphis. I watched some cycling from Mallorca. And I watched Inception. Do you know a little I care about TV resolution? I watched TV two ways. Number one, I have an antenna. Okay. I love that. And number two, I do illegal streams on my phone And then Apple play them to my TV. I couldn't care less what it looked like. It's pausing all the time. Oh, yeah. I can barely see where the football is. Oh, that would give me a heart attack. Well what? With the Apple TV, I put on the noise canceling headphones. I'm in Robland. All right. What? Oh, man.

[49:00]Nope. I only got one note so we can move on this. I thought about you, Rosie. I saw some live music. The other, was that last weekend? Were they playing the Delfin last weekend? Still your joke, right? Nope. Guy named Dan Rodriguez. He's a local guy from Michigan. Yeah. Did you send us a video of his once? I think he's, was he playing on a porch one time? I think so. And he's got a song about having a green Christmas. He's a sweet man. Stuff like this. So he had this little sec, little part of a thing where Everybody started clapping and I thought about you, Rosie, Because he said, all right, Guys are clapping on the ones and threes, Like good white people. That's right. We clap on the ones and threes and anybody who's got any rhythm Claps on the twos and fours. And I knew exactly what he was talking about. So I got the joke. Thanks to my friend, Aaron. So I just wanted to say that. That's my rolling going. That's nice. I appreciate it. My main problem is I clap on the ones and threes, But it's when I'm listening to a waltz. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. It's hard to do it.

[50:00]Russell, rolling going. How's it going with you? It's really hard. I thought it would be much easier. Rolling going. Guys, I, I, Guys, I made a purchase this last week. I, I actually took advice from one of our listeners. I don't know if you guys have ever Rob, One of our rules is we don't have sex with our listeners. Right. We usually, we usually try not to. Okay. Well, I think I followed that rule in Vegas, But I violated another rule by taking advice from a listener. I took advice. I was looking at getting my new turn table And my new speaker. And I actually waited to talk with John from Edina And Erin person about what I was going to get And run it by and tell them some of my questions, Some of my concerns. And I finally did it. And I've actually matched the same setup as John from Edina. I made my purchase. Rob, get the music ready for this. I bought an audio technica,

[51:00]ATLP 120 XBT USB, Which features, I do have a sounder out for that rustle in your face. Well, actually I was hoping you were going to pull up The James Brown and you could give me the horns On every feature here. Okay. It's good. It's a direct drive turn table. Yes. Connects wirelessly to speakers and other devices Equipped with Bluetooth wireless technology Or to wired audio systems and powered speakers Via included dual RCA output cable. Wow. Compatible with APX adaptive code. Going down. Direct drive DC servo metro motor. Oh, you did say that. Fully manual operation. Adjustable dynamic anti skate control. There you go. Wow. Can't have skating. Selectable 33, 45 and 78 RPM speeds.

[52:00]Wow. So that's the turn table. Erin's an audio technica guy. Not ripping out the preamp of mine. I'm keeping the preamp in, but you'll notice. It is Bluetooth compatible. And the reason I did this is because I did get The Bluetooth speaker. I got the Clipsch three, which is also a recommendation By John, a Bluetooth speaker. Sounds great. You can move it around if you need to. It's a bigger speaker, but I was going to ask you guys. I set it on the floor. Now could you put it on the floor and kneel on it? Oh, what? What? No, nothing. Nevermind. Anyways, I was going to ask you real quickly. Guess what the first record I played on it tonight was. I'm going to guess actually Rob, you're wrong. I didn't get to play shit because you guys made me Do the damn podcast. There's nothing like coming home and set up a brand new Record player and the sound system and everything. And not getting to even try the fucker out because You're doing this stupid.

[53:00]And then I was leaving anyway. You were, you, you have almost experienced What it's like to be a married guy, Russell. You're so close. Oh, I may have, when I played a YouTube video for the 10th time about how to set The toner arm weight, I got to look like it, That someone might be moving out. Would you get a 2.1, 2.5? It depends on your style. I would like to go to 2.0, Aaron. All right. Wow. You got the Shure needle that came with it, Or did you get a different cartridge? I used the needle that came with it, But I was told, I see there is when you can Get that, I'll probably get it, but I was, I was told by you and John, I should probably Just go with the one that came with it. And then when I need a new one, then I'll Upgrade. I believe you told me that Aaron When I need to change it the next time. I can't believe I was having fun playing Krabs while you guys were having these Conversations. I really missed out About the different needles and the, Yep. Now listen, but I know what, You know what I'm going to play on it First. What are you going to play? The bends.

[54:00]I think I'm going, well, here's a question Because I don't want to play the record, But I want to go with the greatest Album. I want to go Marvin Gaye. I want to go number one on the list first. What do you think of that strategy? I'm having trouble understanding speaker Placement. So I did not get like two Little shelf speakers that I can put on Either side of my little record area And the stand I have is just Big enough for the record player. So this big block speaker, it looks Like a big brick, right? Right. So the speaker is not going to go on the Stand. It doesn't really fit Like in a shelf per se. You're going to have to get a speaker stand. You're going to have a separate stand Or what I was going to ask you guys, My record player does have A little shelf below it, but I don't Think the speaker should go on a shelf Like that. Like, can you see that? Yeah, I don't think so. If you've got a woofer it can. The speaker shouldn't go in the shelf Underneath the record player. Should it Have missed at the same? You're going to need some Speaker stands. You need a stand. Plus it

[55:00]Would look cool. It would look very Scandinavian. It would go with your double duvet lifestyle You're going to adopt. Yeah, hopefully maybe I'll get a chance. I won't have to stay up till Four in the morning tonight. I'll get a chance To do it. Thanks for the fun night, Rob. Russell, have you Seen Aaron's stand that he's got? It's awesome. You should send us a picture. Your setup's awesome. The other question, could you have a Larger table or would the bumps From the speaker Make your record player vibrate And not play correctly? Or could you put the Speaker on the same table as The turn table? I think you can because The turn table has those feet on it. I think You probably can. It should be shock absorbing Feet too. I'll tell you right now the only stand I have in my room is Stephen King's the stand Because I love to read. I don't know. It helps My mind grow. Now, it is Actually. Now listen OK, moving on to my role in going. Did you Pass it, Russell? Were you done? I passed. That's very presumptuous of Rob. No, I passed. I'm always excited to hear about Russell's

[56:00]Record. This is a real, it was like a US Olympic team baton fuck Up. There you go. I feel a little Track and feel. And now I'm Carl Lewis. Okay, I'm the Carl Lewis of this group. A lot of people say that. That was a pretty bad Handoff. So yeah, that is like the US. That is like the US. Very nice. I get it. We're so talented, but just can't get the Record around the track. I have to say we have an all-time Sweetie alert on the Vegas trip. Oh, what? All-time sweetie. And that all-time Sweetie alert goes to Russell. What? Okay, Russell. I did not expect. Because we go To the place. We see the droids A band that Aaron hates with his full heart. I do not hate it. I need to love five times now. I don't need to see them again. Yes. We're all together at The Grand Park swan. There is the

[57:00]Thinning of the spring. We're so excited because The third night we're like, oh my god, It's a new band, span, we get there. It is the droids the dress in 80's gear and guess what, we're like, this Is awesome. That guy was good, I enjoyed that. The bartenders they brought up? Yeah. Special guest, just. They brought the special guest up. The guy, they played that song that goes like, Na na na na, na na na, na na. Oh yeah, nice to you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Yeah, that was really fun. It's so nice to meet you. Sorry, Rob, tell me about your story. Do you think, can you imagine that, Now I hate to say this, But the trim that guy gets working at the bar And then going up to play guitar? Pretty high class. He's crazy. He's already pouring drinks into women's mouths. You know that guy's getting laid whenever he wants. That was slippy or whatever. That was the night before. Slippy before, wasn't it? They say, here we got a big fan. It's slippy. And as a woman came out, She was wearing a shirt where her breasts Were just totally exposed from below.

[58:00]And we're like, slippy, yes, slippy. And then slippy turns out to be a 40 year old guy Who's playing guitar. We're like, no, not as excited. Well, they play though. They played Blink or something. Go ahead, Russell. You've mentioned high class trim before And today you just called it trim. And I was curious, like how many categories of trim are there? Listen, it's not high class at Joker's Wild At the Carnival Court. Even with their new paint job they got, We were like, oh, they painted the walls. So we were like, oh, well, they painted. We know that place so well that we knew When they changed the color of the walls. It's probably the only place in the world Where I know that. And the big shocker was We didn't, I don't know if we talked about this, But there was no Dober this year. No, I'm disappointed. Did we see anyone who recognized? It was crazy. Because I had a plan this year. Okay. Oh no. I had a big plan. Then we're out. Save it for next year. I will. I'll save it for any year. In fact, email me and I'll be there tomorrow. Russell goes up to the band and guess what? Oh, yeah. He picks a song and so you know what time it is.

[59:00]We're talking about Russell's Venmo. Venmo. Wondering what Russell. There's no way I operated Venmo at this point. There's no way. No, I think you're doing, I think you did cash, straight cash. I don't know what time of day. So Russell goes up. And there's no one else requesting any, right? No. No. Well, Aaron's convinced it's a conspiracy. Well, that they won't play what you pick or what? They typically don't. Well, because we've been burned Where we've requested stuff And then they didn't play it, But then you got them to play some stuff. Yeah, you get the magic touch. Russell goes up and requests a Pearl Jam song For Mant, an all time sweetie move. Yeah, they rocked it. They rocked it. Even flow. They do even flow. So good. Yeah. And Russell had shown me, Now Russell is wearing a Ravishing Rick Roode shirt And he had shown me, Now Ravishing Rick Roode's move. Hit the music. What I want is for all you fat, Out of shape, make a sweat hogs

[1:00:00]To keep the noise down. While I take my robot and show all you gamblers What a real man looks like. Listen, Russell showed me the Ravishing Rick move, Which is basically Ravishing Rick Roode. He hands me on the head And then he does a sexy hip swivel And Russell showed me and I said, Russell, you gotta show the group that. And he goes, just wait. He goes up and tips the band and they go, Oh my God, is that a Ravishing Rick Roode shirt? And so everybody in this bar is looking at Russell. Russell turns around and hits the entire bar With the Ravishing Rick Roode. We're wearing a Ravishing Rick Roode shirt. It was crazy. Now the only disappointing thing is the next night He was wearing an Ultimate Warrior shirt And did not try to shake any ropes. I was hoping he'd like walk around and try to, Like if he's in a hotel, he'd shake the ropes. And these guys were so excited about it That I was there to see Russell Hit the Ravishing Rick Roode. I left to go to the bathroom.

[1:01:00]I came back and they were like, Dude, Russell got up in front of the whole bar And did the Ravishing Rick Roode. I was standing right next to you when it happened. He was doing such a moment. For us, it was like the equivalent of the moon landing. But Russell wins the All Time Sweetie Award Because he just picked a song. Listen, it would never, I realized I was standing there And I was like, I would never in a million years Pay money to pick a song for some other guy on this trip. That would never even occur to me to do that. Matt seemed to genuinely be famous. I thought Matt really enjoyed it And I thought they did a great job. And then also I believe I did request They also put some money in And they finally played our rage against the machine At the end of the night. They did it. And they saved it for the end. And they appreciated it. They were happy to play stuff that they wanted to play. So it worked out. I just wanted to hear life in the fast lane. Some woman was there And she demanded that they play life in the fast lane. Everybody's like, what are you doing? Who wants to hear life in the fast lane? And then guess what? Kind of rocked. I got to say, live music, There is a lot of stress though When you pick song

[1:02:00]And then immediately have to go to the bathroom And you're like, how long can I wait? Do I have to run into that casino and run back? Or what do I do? Guys, that's going to be such a problem. Like bathroom management is difficult enough at age 45. We're just going to get older. Aaron, don't depress us. We're going to depress us. I barely made it back to the hotel one day. Like it was terrible. Okay. Can I do my, what I was going to do? Aaron, he hits us with like the funny, Non-funny medical thing. I was going to say like Gobi or whatever you're thinking. Well, I was good. I was already thinking I was going to get that part out. But I would do Aaron, If I, they haven't met at a concert, I would do a little move I call the Liam Neeson. You know what I mean? Nobody's favorite part of the show. Let's talk about the album. Just piss my pants. Aaron, that technically is a callback for this episode. So you better re-listen. I joined for a music podcast. So I'm glad I'm here. The Chicks had originally started as a bluegrass band Before getting rid of two different singers.

[1:03:00]They were just a straight bluegrass band. They got rid of one singer. They got rid of another singer before finding Natalie Mainz. And in 1998, they record the album, Wide Open Spaces, Which if you were a teenager in 1990s, like I was, And you had two younger sisters, You heard so much of the Dixie Chicks, You heard tons and tons of Wide Open Spaces, You could not turn on the radio without hearing smooth And the Dixie Chicks. It's just a lockdown guarantee. And are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Oh, alien and firm. Here, let me just say this, right? I'm gonna, I'm sorry to interrupt, But I listened to this album and I was, I had no 98% of the words on this album. And I was shocked to remember that. It's like it's been 20 years since I've listened To this album, I knew everything. But I had forgot, now you just mentioned Wide Open Spaces. And here's the songs on Wide Open Spaces. I can love you better, Wide Open Spaces, Loving Arms, There's Your Trouble. You were mine.

[1:04:00]Tonight's the heart, tonight the heartaches on me. I mean, like, listen, Is there a better two albums by a country group like this? In like three years, this is unbelievable. And then Home has some good shit out of two. Like I was just doing the same thing. Like Home's got great songs on there too. That Ray Charles album was a double, I think, So that might count, sounds of country music. Now listen. Stop. In 1998, when they had Wide Open Spaces, They sold more CDs than all other country groups Combined that year. It's crazy. They absolutely dominated it. So now, 1999, a year later, They're coming out with another album After Wide Open Spaces. 99, 99, 99, 99. And a 90. This album debuts at number one. It debuts at number one. It's the first ever country group To debut at number one on the Billboard. The debut. Debut. Debut? Debut. You want me to go faster now. This is on you. They want it. No. Debut. Debut.

[1:05:00]Hey, I'm writing, I'm fine. I can say we got all night tonight. All right, here we go. We'd rob back for all these time. Landing the planes. Debut. They, in 1999, it debuts at number one. It's the first ever country group to do it. The Dixie Chicks have the biggest opening week For any country act in the 90s, Only behind Garth Brooks. And the third biggest week of album sales For any country group behind Garth Brooks, obviously, And Leanne Rimes sold more at some point. It's a week in the 90s sold more. That's going to be like the one song from Con Air Or whatever that is, right? Hey, quick aside on Leanne Rimes. She hasn't put out shit in years. She's got a, she's got a couple of cameos On some Trample by Turtles songs. So she is collabing with Trample by Turtles. This path like three or four months ago, An album came out. So if you're a Trample by Turtles fan, You should listen to the Leanne Rimes stuff. You like getting trampled. Yeah. I heard her the other day and I was, and somebody said, Oh, this is my friend Leanne.

[1:06:00]And she said, yes, I like to sing songs. I like to sing along. I hope it's not long. And I was like, is this Leanne Rimes? And I said, but you did long twice there. I noticed that. Yeah. Amateur rhyming. Wait, so her big hit was How Do I Live? But the Con Air version was done by Tricia Yearwood. Is that the same song by different singers? Wait a minute. What? Same song. How do I live? People brought the wrong album. I wouldn't have thought they were giving the Con Air song. No, didn't they buy the album with blue on it? Why is it so slow? Oh my God, it's so slow. I could, can you sing, I can sing every lyric to this song. I think we should hear it. And I haven't heard it in 25 years. It's your croaky style. How do I live? 1997. Get through one night without you. I'm probably delayed, aren't you guys? Sorry. How do I live without you? Wow. I saw a lot of my friends in high school Making out with their girlfriends in the gym to this song

[1:07:00]While I stood at the wall. This song in Fishing in the Dark Were the two worst stag dance songs of all time. Because they just played them every single time. No. You're talking about the Con Air soundtrack, Russell. Okay, for some reason, Russell is now obsessed Tonight with this Con Air soundtrack. First of all, this Con Air comes out, Con Air soundtrack comes out in 97. It's the same year. It says Leanne Rimes. And you think that's the same? But play the Trisha Yearwood version of... But this is saying that how do I live? The performance for Con Air is Leanne Rimes. Right, but it's the same song, if I remember right. On Air. Trisha, no, Trisha Yearwood. It is Trisha Yearwood. What's going on? What is the deal? What? If I had to live Oh, yeah. Everybody calls Mary DeGarth Brooks. This is pretty damn confusing. What's going on here? Well, the only option is for us to do a Con Air watch along.

[1:08:00]The version of the song in the film Is performed by country music legend Trisha Yearwood. But that wasn't the original version of the song Or the one intended for the film. The artist who touched on initially asked To record the song was 15 year old Rising country music star Leanne Rimes. What? Wow. So Trisha Yearwood's version is in the movie. So this one was first. And then Leanne Rimes did hers. Listen, I don't understand what's going on. I mean, it's interesting because this happened in 97. Like that's the thing that would happen In the 50s in R&B a lot where multiple people Were recording the same tune And record companies were rushing to get them out. But for it to happen in 97, it was kind of. Rimes recorded it. They asked Rimes. They had Yearwood's version in the movie. And then Rimes records it later, Not knowing it was in the movie Or was done for the movie. To say who wrote it? Does it have who's the writer?

[1:09:00]Diane Warren. Diane Warren. Yeah. Oh, she wrote a bunch of stuff. Yeah. What is she? If I could turn back time. Wow. Whoa. Because you love me. Wow. I know you just share a song of all time. Because you love me? Fucking monster career. Oh my God. She wrote that song And I don't want to miss a thing. Russell, this might be the greatest soundtrack. Wow. Artist. The Nashville writer was if somebody has a song on hold, You don't record it. Yearwood told the Tribute, But Nashville rules couldn't hold a candle. The Conair rules. Wow. Rimes was eventually persuaded to release her version On pop radio, but not country radio. Wow. Which left us with a bizarre scenario. Wow. He is straight up filleting that microphone. Jesus. Both released their versions of the song On the exact same day, May 27, 1997. Wow.

[1:10:00]What the fuck? That is amazing. That's amazing. Love it. Meanwhile, Diane Warren wrote this song comes out in 98. Guys. What a career. Both versions were instant hits, Radio stations and newspapers. We're running polls where fans could vote On the song they prefer. This is like a whoop. There it is. Whoop. There it is. Deal. Wait. No, it's wrong. Trisha Yearwood said it was very uncomfortable for me. The radio stations had playoffs Where they would play both versions And people would call it and say Which one they liked or didn't like. Wow. A number of radio stations played unauthorized versions Of the unauthorized versions That mixed the two renditions together To make it sound like a duet Or a duvet. What song is this? How do I live? How do I live?

[1:11:00]How do I live? It's on there. We can fucking do two different shows right now. Plus Trisha Yearwood, how do I live? Oh my God. Oh no. Is this crazy? No. Oh no. That's horrible. It does. This is amazing. This is crazy That they would play this on the radio. It's even crazy. We went up and down. In 1998, Grammy Awards, For the first time ever, Two artists were nominated in the same category For the same song. The same song? What? Just when you think you can't get any crazy. The Grammys decided to go full WWE, Scheduling rhymes to perform the song Immediately before they presented the award They were competing for. Without a commercial break. So they had her sing the song Right before they presented the award.

[1:12:00]That's crazy. And they have this, They have YouTube versions Where you can watch the uncomfortableness. What? And then she sings it right before they present it And rhymes loses. What? Did Trisha Yearwood? Who won? Or somebody else? I don't know. I think she won. I think Trisha Yearwood won. Wow. Russell. There were backstage emotional outbursts. Yeah. Something rhymes is not denied. Altogether I was not a happy person. I felt betrayed, not by the fans, But by the people in the business. Yearwood won the trophy. The people's champ was Trisha Yearwood. That is crazy. Wow. That's crazy, Russell. It sounds like a list, But this isn't even the list yet. We already had a list. Bly songs. Here we go. Yearwood's version though Was only on the charts for 12 weeks. Rhymes spent a record breaking 69 weeks on the chart. Nice.

[1:13:00]32 weeks in the top 10 And 25 in the top five, Which is another record. Once tied by Bruno Mars Uptown Funk And broken by some song by the chain smokers Called Closer. Rhymes version rake number four, All-time top 100. It's the most successful single By a female artist on the list. And she didn't even win the song she lost. She lost a grabby to another artist. Singing that song. Doing the singing that song Right after she sang it. And she was like 15, right? Or 16 when this all came out. So that's probably they're like, Oh, well, we have to give it to Trisha. We're not gonna give it to a 16 year old Or Trisha Yearwood. And then she joined the Dixie Chicks. Hit it, Rob. No, I don't, I don't hit it. What do you mean hit it? I thought we were talking about the Dixie Chicks. I cannot believe that Russell can pull The con air soundtrack so easily. That makes me think Russell watched A lot of three men and a little lady And a lot of con air. Those are the- Right as the virus is at all times, I'd say top five million in the movie. Yeah, he was great. So terrifying. Steve Vashemi in there is even scarier

[1:14:00]If you ask me. Fair, yeah. Nick Cage's hair was the scariest thing of all time. The scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. He's like, he's like, oh, I wish I had hair like Hulk Hogan. Who holds that bunny? Yeah, I was gonna say, What was the bunny scene at the end? I got this for you. And then the music hits. Fight Trisha Yearwood. The Dixie Chicks are the first female group With back-to-back diamond albums For these two albums. They get nominated for four Grammys, Including album of the year, And they win the biggest one they win Is Best Country Album. Guess who beats them for album of the year? What's your- Fucking Santana Smooth. Oh no. I'm not playing it again. I've heard it enough in my life. That beats every album in the 90s. Anytime we're talking about it. But listen to these singles they had. They released a single Ready to Run In June 28th, 1999. The last single they released from this album Was September 24th, 2001. They released singles from this album for two years. That's why this is all we heard in college. This thing was like our runs.

[1:15:00]Freshman's Life for Junior year. These songs were on all the fucking time. And I'll tell you what, If you wanted to make out with girls, You had to like this album. It's just the way it was. Okay, let's get into Dixie Chicks Fly. Jesus. Oh my gosh, you won't believe this. The same day this song Fly came out by Sugar Ray Or whoever that was. I'm just kidding. It was not the same day. Oh boy. You had to go on. First up, we have Ready to Run. This, of course, was in the movie Runaway Bride With Julia Roberts and Richard Geer. Wait, Runaway Bride? Yes. I wrote it down. Is that the Dermot Mulroney one? No. That's my best friend's way. Yeah. We're going through all the Julia Roberts movies here. You know, with the one with Richard Geer Where she's like goes into that store And they won't sell her anything And then she comes back later and says,

[1:16:00]Big mistake. Huge. I mean, right away, You know what you're getting with this album, right? It's country, but it's definitely pop. I remember when this came out, The country people were like, Oh, this isn't really country, it's so pop, Which is such a joke now. But it's also not Just listening to the difference between this production And the rhymes in your words that we're listening to, This definitely Just having the fiddle in there makes a big difference. You hear the bluegrass? Yes. The other bluegrass. 100%. That's what it is, yeah. If you guys look at the Wikipedia page And you see all the musicians And all the different instruments on this, It's- Are you doing research on this? Crazy good. Matt uses the term musicality. I hear it all over this album. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Every single song. Every single song. If I fall, you're going down with me, There's a half, there's a half a song that's not good. That's it. Absolute killer second hitter, right? This is twins, Twins 91 World Series, Chuck Knoblock hitting second rank.

[1:17:00]Wow. 100%. Rob, I give you a live version. Did you pull the live version or not? Oh yeah. I've got it. This got all the way up to 38 on the billboard list. This was on their, I think their greatest hits. It's called Top of the World Tour live album. So it had all their hits live album for this. And on this version, The bass player is actually a guy named Charles Roscoe Beck. Oh, wow. An American bassist with a reputation As a solid bottom liner. Oh, wow. So they had this guy and I was looking at some- Listen to that bass. Some chat boards. And one of the person, People were saying I was listening to this song. They were like, who is playing the bass line on this? They looked it up. One of their favorites, Charles Roscoe Beck. Wow. So I got to ask you guys, When it comes to playing bass live with the chicks On tour, who did it better? Charles, what was his name? Roscoe Beck. Charles Roscoe Beck did it better.

[1:18:00]Oh yeah. Now, Aaron, you'll never guess. Now that of course was a live song from the chicks. Do you want to guess what my favorite live song is? Lightning Crushes. It's the Dolphins Lament. Unfortunately, I have bad news. Oh no. I knew this live joke was coming, So I went to download the Dolphins Lament. When I Googled the famous live album or song, I wasn't sure which one it was. Called the Dolphins Lament, it turns out, There is no live song called the Dolphins Lament. It is a- It's not a titular track. It is a joke we made up, And I was panicked. It's not even the name of the album or anything. It's just you just made it up. There's nothing. And I looked it up. Now, first of all, yes, The song is called the Dolphins Cry. Oh. This is the Dolphins Cry. There's a song that came out after throwing copper.

[1:19:00]And what's funny is I've said that joke for two years, The Dolphins Lament, And not one person has ever corrected me Or known what I'm talking about. Magic Mike's getting weak in his old age. Hey, if that was episode one, Who would have corrected the shit out of that? 100%. So big news in the back there better. When I saw that, my jaw dropped. I almost called the kids over. I was like, guys, there's no Dolphins Lament. They would've been like, Dad, please. How boy, take me away. This got up, this is the second single, Got all the way up to 27 on the charts. I mean, listen to this song, guys. A Ripper. When I put this on for the family, everybody loved it. Jenny loved it. We were excited to listen to it. This was fun. It's almost fun as shit. Yes. I was just gonna ask like, I mean, other than Wildflowers, Has there been a more fun album In the last 50? Like, just put this thing on and just enjoy it. I, Elliot Smith. I wanna tell you I wanna break it in my head. I mean, this song is a... Hot music does not get better.

[1:20:00]Listen to the chorus for this. I mean, it builds and it's just like, It's so good. What's up, man? I was gonna say, a lot of country music From the 90s doesn't hold up, right? I mean, to what it is now. That's why I like the country music from the 90s. There's some Casey Musgraves stuff right now That's pretty darn good, things like that. But this album, I think holds up. I think this is like You don't hear the 90s twangy country. It's very much like the bluegrass With where bluegrass music is today, It very much kind of leads into a lot of the stuff That's coming in the next 10 years. It's not so shiny like Like in Al Jacksonton, it's just a little too shiny In this like, she says she wanna touch the earth. You can hear him touch the earth. Some of the Tim McGraw stuff and Some of the, even the George Strait, It was so like pumped out, written just for them stuff. I mean, this is good stuff. Plus this album, 48 Minutes. A perfect length of the album. Shorted on this episode. We have to get more 48 minute albums.

[1:21:00]It was great to listen to. Old Day in July. I'm looking at the first four or five songs of it. This is stomp. Yeah, wait till five. I mean, you think, You think you've heard four good songs? We haven't even heard Goodbye Earl yet. Now here's what's crazy. Hey, I'm in my head. This is what's crazy about the Dixie Chicks. This is kind of what they do, right? Next song, Goodbye Earl. Highest charting on the Billboard, But didn't even make it into the country charts top 10. So this, their songs would do well in the country charts Or the pop charts, but hardly ever both. Like people really took a delineation to the chicks Like are they country? Are they not? Where are they? This is like a top 10 hardest song, right? Yeah. It's so good. Rolling Stone said number 469 best song of all time. Who wrote this song? We gotta figure out who's the writer in this. Like this thing is hard as a guess.

[1:22:00]I was at a holiday party a while back And they were playing karaoke In the U.S. There's a lady saying Goodbye Earl at my suggestion And she did a great job with it. This is a, that's a fun karaoke song. Is it about? It's a great karaoke song. Fun, everybody knows it. Everybody can sing along. Hey, call, listen to Joe Dennis Lindy. Here's the writer of the song. He's the writer of the song. Here's some of his, you're not gonna believe this. Bubba shot the jukebox by Marcia Smith. Sure as money. I don't know that one. Nice. Colin Baton Rouge, Garth Brooks. John Deere Green by Joe Diffie. Billy Bob loves Charlene. He wrote Burning Love. What a hot summer night. He fucking wrote Burning Love for Earl. And then he wrote Goodbye Earl. Come on. We should, somebody say his name out loud one more time Because he needs his flowers. Dennis Lindy. We're on a songwriting kick today. We really got it. Hello, Mr. Hard-Ake. Hello, Mr. Hard-Ake.

[1:23:00]Just sounds so good. This is like a classic country tune. It's like they can go cut. They can go country. Yeah, there's a guitar in there. Yep. So good. Of course, the Dixie Chicks did get a little trouble in 2004 When after some of the Iraq War stuff, They said that they didn't support George Bush And they were subsequently cast out of the country world, right? Like, remember how controversial that was? That was a huge break in their career. And then they never really went back to the country. Yeah. No, it's crazy. Would these hits? But it feels like it's their own choice too, right? Like they said, they took it rightfully so. Like, I'm not going to just pander if I don't feel this way. Well, if you remember, I think they did that. And then, right after that, they came out With the Traveling Soldiers song, or right around that time. Yeah. And then, that was a big part of it too, I think. Yeah, yep. That's a great song too. Aaron was mostly listening to, Matt, pull me the name,

[1:24:00]I'm going to say, the Guy Country singer. Toby Keith. Steve Earl. Boot in your ass, Aaron. I said it, Toby Keith. But I was listening to Toby Keith. Aaron was listening to Toby Keith. He didn't have time to listen to him. Rob, I can't laugh at your jokes and tell them For you at the same time. Make jokes. You'll see what happens when I edit this shit up. I was reading a little bit about some of the bands That influenced him. And one of the people, I won't bring them up further After this, but Steve Earl was one artist That they referenced and kind of took some inspiration from. But he's kind of gone through a similar thing where He's kind of a country, bluegrass, rock, folk guy That's not on the political end of the spectrum As most of his typical audience. And he's gotten a lot of backlash over the years. And there's been, he's had a lot of interesting thoughts About what patriotism means and everything. It's pretty cool to read about him. And I've told the story a thousand times. I love Steve Earl and I discovered him Because Russell and Darren brought his CD home From the radio station at St. Elphin said, Copperhead, Roar. Rosie, we thought you might like this

[1:25:00]Because it says blues on it. You see, he's an actor too. He's on the wire. He was in the wire. The wire, that's on the wire. Yeah. Yeah, he's a treasure. I was going to say, of course, if we bring up Toby Keith, I have to mention that Chris Crossoverson said He did for country music, What Panihose did for finger fucking. Yes. I can't, I can't not tell that. He said that. He did. 100%. He said it to his face. He said it right to his face. Yes. Now, see, now that's a, that's a writer. Yeah. It's an American writer. That's right. He'd come up with that line, that. It was in the, it was the fifth verse, The hidden verse, like the garth, The hidden verse of Bubba shut the jukebox. I believe. That's shit. That's shit. Don't waste your heart. This is a good song, but it's like the hat It's almost like the one that it's like, It's like go get a beer or whatever. This next song was released as downloadable Content for rock band. You could play this song with plastic instruments And sing along Sid Wagan.

[1:26:00]Right. Absolutely slayer. Fucking flames. People, her voice in here, Natalie's voice in here. It's great. This is an old timer. If you go to like the bars and Nashville down on Broadway, It's simple to pick this one will slip. The Sin Wagon comes from, That's what they called the car in Greece. They refer to it as Sin Wagon. And of course, anytime we talk about Greece, Aaron does mention it does make the girls cream. So that's what I said, Rob, I thought you were going to get to it. That's what I said. I said mattress dancing. That's a good line. They said that scared the record company. The record company was nervous about them saying Mattress dancing, which is so funny. Yeah. Without you. We're riding on the Sin Wagon. This got up to number one on the country charts, But only number 34 on the Billboard. 34 on the Billboard is probably pretty good For most country albums though, right? Well, especially considered that this was released In 2000, a full year after the album came out. Now guys, if there's a chicks concert,

[1:27:00]Are we going? We have to go, right? Is there so good? I forgot to tell you guys, I went, John from my diner reminded me That we went to this concert in 2000, 2001, something like that. Like I've been to this concert with him. We went, I think it was at the Excel Energy. That sounds fun. Some days you got to dance. How many times you dance in a year, you think? Like, what do you mean? Like not just dancing through the kitchen? Right. Yeah. Like you're at a place where you're dancing. There's a dance floor. I'm going tomorrow. Got a wedding. I'll be dancing tomorrow. I mean, I'd say three or four, right? Like we go out, well, Vegas is three nights in a row. Three nights in a row. Okay, six or seven then. That's not bad. I think anything over five. I think you've got to be dancing. 10 would be better once every five weeks. I might, yeah, in 2024, I might not have made another one after Vegas. I got to do better in 2025. I've got a coworker who is single, Who does like adult dance classes.

[1:28:00]She's banging a ton of guys. I think if I got single, I would take, I would go into adult like sexy dance classes. Cause she even the name, she said, she's like, Oh, we're doing the sensual Horshada. And I was like, isn't that a margarita with a beer in it? Isn't that what a Horshada is? Like what, how was this? And she's like, oh yeah, then we Then she'll tell us. The vampire weekend song. Oh, sensual Horshada. I'm just going to say three words For why I would take an adult dance class. Sex in car. That's it. Hole in my head. This was the one That I didn't love. Yeah. This is the other half. Yeah. Put this in. Don't waste your heart. She wails, no doubt. Yeah, the album that just makes me think of Is Lucinda Williams. Like that was a Lucinda Williams type of song to me. Big time. And you mentioned Lucinda Williams. She's not on my list here, But I thought we could celebrate a few of the artists

[1:29:00]That influenced the chicks. That's all right with you guys. We're doing a list, Rob. Oh wow. Let's get right to the list right now. And you know what, Aaron? This tonight, we're doing a full list. Ooh. We're not doing just a little small list like you had. Ooh, we're not stopping. This is a big manly birthday list. Oh, yeah. Oh, other, better. I forget. Did I do a mini list? I did do a mini list. Yeah. First one has got to be Dolly Part. We've done this song before, But it's so good. We're going to revisit it. Play this song anytime. Anytime. Dixie Chicks said we love Dolly Parton. She was an early idol for us. She was glamorous, but a really nice lady too. And she never acted like a diva While always being a true star. I can't say any better than that. Another icon on the list. This is Loretta Lynn. I believe the song is Fist City. Cole Miner's daughter. Fist City. This reminds me, this is, I think there's a bar in New York called Fist City. I'm thinking about going there.

[1:30:00]Should I go? There's something about bandanas, I have to wear. I don't know what that's about, but. I don't even get that. But Loretta Lynn, Rob, you earlier, You were talking about the George Bush thing, Kind of the backlash with that, But Loretta Lynn was really the one, The first one who kind of, I don't know if to play it, The man's not the right word, But was very controversial. Remember, we talked about that song. I believe it was The Pill, right? That guy. Oh, right. Play. Right. That's so that pill, But her other song was banned in 1975. I read Loretta Lynn had more band radio hits Than all male country artists combined in the 20th century. That doesn't seem right. That's pretty good. That feels like somebody's got it out for her. That's crazy. But they said Loretta Lynn was a pioneering daughter That changed music in the world For all daughters that followed. When she died, they said, We missed her, but her spirit lives on. So huge influence for the chicks. Wow.

[1:31:00]Next up on the list. I don't know if we've done this one. If she might be on the list. And if we already did her album, I apologize. It's Emmy Lou Harris. The song is born to run. We have not done Emmy Lou Harris. She recorded a bunch of Steve Roll. She is on. You can hear little chicks this, right? Oh yeah. Now listen that I say If you want to get into bluegrass, You just go by nitty gritty dirt bands box set. May the circle be unbroken. Emmy Lou Harris is on a ton of those. And it's brilliant. Go buy it today. Run, don't walk. Turn off this podcast. Emmy Lou Harris represents the side of music Where you put your heart and soul into songs And tell stories and you're open to other styles. They said they worked with her on a few songs And it turned out to be as inspiring As you would hope it to be. Wow. Crazy. Next up on the list. This was, I believe, a top 10 album. This was on this one. It's Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. Landslide. Wow. They covered this.

[1:32:00]They did cover it. Their cover is pretty damn good. Fuck yeah, it is. I don't know if this is a top 10 album Or if that was just a rumors. Stevie Nicks said Natalie Maynes Is her favorite person to sing with ever. No. I could happily be a member of the chicks, she said. Even though they're billed as country artists, They're very much rock and roll. And so they actually performed this together, But both Stevie Nicks was a fan of the chicks. The chicks were a huge fan of Stevie Nicks, Obviously, with the great cover of that song. So we had to recognize Stevie Nicks, right? Yes. Wow, so good. All right, last inspiration on the list. We were talking about the bluegrass. It's coming right before the chicks. It's Alison Krause. Oh yeah. Love Alison Krause. Alison Krause was especially attracted to me Because she could play the fiddle. I think, I don't know if I gave you A tune to sound post, Rob,

[1:33:00]But I think I gave you the fiddle sound clip On that song. You're about to make love to somebody And they play this on the fiddle right before. Crazy. You have to make sure that, So that's the thing, Russell, If you're upstairs, your mistress is playing the fiddle And you need a special shell for the fiddle, Because that's the thing, spend some instruments. So she's gonna play that before you make love. I've got to put some rosin in that bow. You know what I'm saying? And you can't set it down on the bed next to you Just in case. You gotta give that thing its own spot Once the magic starts. What would be a sexier instrument for her to play? It's something that was a double reed. You know what I mean? Like an oboe or something like. Like a bass clarinet. Oh, God. She's playing the oboe And it sounds like I'm about to make love to the cat From Peter and the Wolf. I think that'd be so good. Peter and the Wolf's joking. Peter and the Wolf's joking with it. Play it. You gotta play it, right? Okay.

[1:34:00]Cat from Peter and the Wolf. So just picture this. That's honestly the best joke in the whole podcast. We've got to, it's it, it's it. Let's just do number 500 and then just call it. You've taken the condom out of the package. You put it on and you hear this. There we go. You're blindfolded. You're stuck under the tight sheet. That's not an oboe, but okay. What is it? A bassoon. Wait. No. Could be a clarinet. This is a fucking oboe. It's not an oboe. This is an oboe. I don't think so. Starts picking up a little bit, Rob. The picture right here. The picture's not the clarinet. What are these? It's a clarinet. What are these comments? What is it? The comments are very strange. So we're going to skip those. Right. But at least there's none of like the normal comments That are there like, This song always makes me think about my grandma recipes.

[1:35:00]That's every song has that comment. Not this one. Nobody thinks about their grandma When they think about Peter and the Wolf. No Rob thinks about having sex with the oboe player. Oh, it's still the best joke. He's licking the reed. Oh my God. Hit it out of here. Oh. All right. We talked about all those bands that inspire the chicks. We had to do one that the chicks inspired And it's the biggest star in the world. It's Taylor Swift. Oh, yes. Check out this song with the chicks with Taylor Swift. I thought you were going to say Ravishing Rick Root. Taylor Swift, hugely influenced by them. There's tons of quotes, But the one I'll give you guys is, The band that made her do what she does is the chicks. They taught her to have a strong female voice In a very feminine aesthetic. Awesome, man. This was the band that made Taylor Swift? Crazy. I grew up listening to the chicks And my daughter right now is growing up Listening to Taylor Swift.

[1:36:00]Hit it. It's like if my kid came home and said, Dad, I saw a wrestler. It was Ravishing Rick Root Jr. I'd be like, wow, I'm really just fly. And he's got a mustache that looks exactly like yours. Dad, he came and kissed me in the crowd And then cut my hair. And I'd be like, no, That's Brutus the Barber Beefcake Jr. I know you get those confused sometimes. Let me tell you, There was nothing rude about that awakening, dad. Was he the sexiest wrestler, Russell? Or is Val Venus the sexiest wrestler? Oh no, it's Rick Root. He was like, Rick Root is very sultry, Like Val Venus is just a porn star. Yeah, okay. I mean, I think the truly sexiest wrestler Is Sean Michaels. Well, we know what Russell would say And it's China, Because of that porno that you guys bought together With the airport that one time. Let him fly. Such a pace. I have a nice slow one to end with. Guys, it's officially certifiably a banger.

[1:37:00]This was a fun week to listen to music. I had a blast listening to this album, But unfortunately, you don't care about the album. Hey what? It was fun to listen to your brand new speaker. And then after about every two and a half songs, It's interrupted by a YouTube video Of how to set the toner arm And how do you attack the girl? I need a system. Oh, yeah. Not appreciated. Russell, why is the YouTube playlist All how to trick your girlfriend Into playing clarinet? I don't get it. Seems weird. Yeah. Step one, get a blindfold. I mean, that would be step one, right? I don't know how else would you trick somebody To play in a clarinet? I need what? Here's what I do. I need CPR. It's a dark room. I need CPR. They come over to where they think They're going to give you CPR. You put a clarinet in their mouth, boom. Erotic clarinet trick. What? Okay. Matt's writing that down. Listen, we are talking about the chicks. They are all the way up to 224 with Fly, An album from 1999.

[1:38:00]You know it's a soft spot for us Because it's right during our high school years. Just like next year. No, it's not. It's right during our college years. Right during our college years, Unless you were me and you graduated A year early from high school. In which case, it would still have been During your college years. Even if I spent a year in the Special Forces. During your college. I was in the Navy SEALs for a year. You'll team six and a half. And then what'd you do the next year? Ah, the next year? Then I came back and dated my high school girlfriend In college over two years. It was great. Okay, it was awesome. And my sophomore year, I had a bunk bed that we cobbled together from parts. So the slot I had for a bunk bed Was literally three inches taller than me If I was lined flat. I could not sit up in my bed. Why I put up with that all year, I don't know. I felt like a piece of toast going in a toaster. Do you know how hard it is to have sex With your high school girlfriend When your bunk bed is the size of a toaster slot?

[1:39:00]Well, according to your mother, The size of your girlfriend Might have also been a problem. I edited that out, Russell. Yeah, the leaks. But you can't tell that story Without making the motion she made, which was this. Listen, when your mom's calling your high school girlfriend Fat and you cannot say anything, Okay, because you're like, My mom doesn't care that she can put her ankles up to her ears. She doesn't, she doesn't want to hear that, okay? If your mom makes jokes About the size of your girlfriend, You might need to call your insurance company To get your Wagovia cover. I'm editing that part out, Russell. It's gonna be a 30-bit episode, I'm telling you. Listen, that was my sophomore year in Larson In the tiny bed. Everybody was listening to Fly Because it was an absolute banger, But that doesn't matter. Where does it sit on the list? Do we think that 224 is an appropriate place For this album? [100:00] If it is, that would be a rolling well-toned. [100:05] Oh, I can't find where I put these. [100:07] This is bad, guys. [100:08] If I can't remember where I put rolling well-toned,

[1:40:00]this is like the number one thing I play every week. [100:13] Wait, what if you were playing rolling well-toned? [100:15] This is the number one part of the framework. [100:17] Oh, I don't play anything for rolling well-toned. [100:18] Thank God, I thought I'd lost my mind. [100:20] I don't know what you're talking about. [100:21] Oh my God, I had a panic attack there. [100:24] Oh, that would be a rolling well-toned. [100:25] Aaron, what does the groan sound like? [100:27] I'm not doing it. [100:28] I did one two weeks ago and he didn't record it, so. [100:30] I've got it. [100:31] I'll go find it. [100:32] Yeah. [100:33] I'll go back with a fine-tooth comb and a blacklight and ignore why they have that. [100:37] On the blue sheet. [100:39] On the blue sheet, no. [100:40] I'll tell you what, if my pod didn't want to have a blacklight party, I would have said, absolutely not. [100:46] I won't be able to sleep. [100:46] My room will be so bright. [100:48] That's why you have the duvet. [100:49] You can take the cover off and put it in the washer. [100:51] That's a great point. [100:53] Okay. [100:54] And in college, I definitely would have done the wash. [100:55] I definitely remember doing that. [100:56] The washer sheets all the time. [100:58] Yeah. [100:59] So much. [101:01] It would have smelled so bad in my bed. [101:03] I can't even imagine my musk. [101:07] Now, or is this what? [101:10] A rolling well-toned is like the movie Con Air. [101:12] It's perfect. [101:12] You watch it. [101:13] Or is this a rolling bone? [101:17] Should have been higher up on the list. [101:20] Okay. [101:20] Guys, banger after banger. [101:22] Why haven't we heard this yet? [101:23] It's a great album. [101:24] Or of course, is it a rolling groan? [101:26] Ugh. [101:27] Okay. [101:28] Is this, should this be lower on the list? [101:30] We should need to move it to a higher number. [101:32] That would be more like a,

[1:41:00]what's a bad movie of Nick Cage's? [101:37] I can't even think of one. [101:39] Face off. [101:40] I mean, that's great. [101:40] Wasn't Ghost Rider bad? [101:41] I didn't see it. [101:42] I don't know. [101:43] It seems kind of fucking awesome now though, doesn't it? [101:45] Bad Lieutenant, Portham calling New Orleans. [101:48] Oh, all good. [101:48] Treasure. [101:49] What's the treasure ones? [101:50] Oh, American Treasure. [101:52] American Treasure, one, two, and three. [101:54] Guys, we gotta be watching more Nicholas Cage movies. [101:57] Hey, there's one where he takes his face off, but I can't remember what it's called. [102:01] What do you think, Aaron? [102:02] Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, rolling groan. [102:04] Dixie Chicks. [102:05] Man, this album was off my radar

[1:42:00]for almost 20 years. [102:13] When you told us we were gonna listen to it, I thought, oh yeah, that's going to be fun. [102:17] You put the thing on and you're shocked that we haven't heard it yet. [102:20] It's shocking. [102:21] We're at 224, we've not heard this yet. [102:22] This is very rolling bone. [102:25] This is all hits. [102:26] I don't it is the absolute perfect representative of pop country, pop music in general, rolling bone. [102:34] It's like when you're looking through old Playboys and you see the 1997 College Girls Edition with the ACC. [102:39] It brings you back to a happy place in your life. [102:44] All right, I get what you're saying, Aaron. [102:45] Matt, rolling well-toned, rolling bone or rolling groan? [102:48] Aaron said it great. [102:50] The only thing I'll say, I'm a fraud because I used to say that the perfect albums that like Beyonce would put out that would have hundreds of writers and hundreds of musicians and all this stuff. [103:01] If you look at this Wikipedia page, it is covered, right? [103:04] I mean, there's a ton of musicians. [103:06] And they came up with a great album. [103:08] So I'm a fraud. [103:10] I gotta take that back on Beyonce's stuff

[1:43:00]because this is unbelievable. [103:15] It should be way higher in the list. [103:17] Probably a top 100 album at some point. [103:19] Top 100 for sure. [103:21] It's that great of an album. [103:23] And it's covering a genre that we really haven't touched yet. [103:27] I mean, tangentially, just a little bit. [103:30] And it's awesome. [103:32] So very, very much rolling bone should be way higher in the list. [103:38] Russell, what do you think? [103:38] Rolling well-toned, rolling bone or rolling groan? [103:40] Yeah. [103:41] Fly by the Dixie Chicks. [103:42] I'm gonna jump on board with both of these guys. [103:43] This was a badass record. [103:45] I think you guys, Rob, you were talking about all the singles earlier. [103:50] And we've talked before about like Garth isn't on the list. [103:52] He's got all these hits, but he doesn't have like an album. [103:55] Man, I was shocked at how good an album the Chicks was. [103:58] Like we're just shocked by all those hits being on there. [104:01] I'm a commercially hits guy. [104:03] You guys are talking top 100. [104:04] I think it's gotta be higher. [104:06] Like this might be blasphemy. [104:09] Don't get pissed at me. [104:10] Is it, is, is Jagged Little Pill

[1:44:00]that much better than the album we just listened to? [104:15] That's a hard one. [104:16] What an interesting take. [104:17] And I like it. [104:18] Jagged Little Pill is like a top 25, top 10 range for me. [104:23] I don't know that this is that high, but this album absolutely slays. [104:28] If someone told me this was their favorite album of all time, I wouldn't hold it against them at all. [104:34] It's a killer. [104:35] Would you hold yourself? [104:35] So I'm gonna say rolling bone should be way higher on the list. [104:38] Do you think this is better than nine out of 10 albums we've done? [104:41] Like if you just took nine out of the 10 albums, would this be better than almost all the nine? [104:45] You know what I mean? [104:45] I think it's a top 10. [104:46] I think it's a top 10. [104:47] It's the nine out of 10. [104:48] Yeah. [104:49] And I can't believe it. [104:50] Rob, he told us, we finally got one. [104:52] We finally got it right. [104:53] We did not get it wrong this time. [104:54] We finally got it right. [104:55] I know it's our night. [104:57] This is unfortunately, you guys are incorrect. [105:00] Oh, shit. [105:02] Fucking way. [105:02] This gets a rolling variation she owned. [105:06] Okay, finally, we're not just listening

[1:45:00]to rock groups from the seventies. [105:10] We've got an all girl country, all woman country group and it's country slash pop. [105:16] I mean, this is where you can see, you know why I talk a lot about turning points in history. [105:19] I think this is one of those music turning points that eventually leads to where we are now with Lil Nas X, with Shibuzy, with these crossover country, like rap guys. [105:31] I think this is the start of it. [105:32] Bluegrass stuff, I think it's bluegrass stuff. [105:34] Exactly. [105:35] I think you can probably draw a line to Billie Eilish in some way too. [105:38] Yeah, this is country going into the mainstream and guess what? [105:42] Churches. [105:43] I'm here for it. [105:44] Plus they called George Bush a piece of shit. [105:45] Sign me up. [105:46] Let's go. [105:47] I'll take a dozen of them. [105:48] Yeah. [105:50] Now, next up, we have Wilco with Yankee Hotel Frogs Trot. [105:57] And it reminds me of an album I released called Hotel Yankee was just a night vision video

[1:46:00]I recorded of me giving Aaron Judge a hand job at a holiday in Express. [106:05] When you want to be a part of the worst of all time. [106:11] The sad thing is that all of us when we think night vision hotel video, we all know what we're thinking. [106:16] I left louder when I was still recovering from Vegas, otherwise known as the Joe flu. [106:22] Wow. [106:23] I forgot to apologize. [106:25] I'll just say it again. [106:26] No, by the way, Upstairs Roommate has a new least favorite friend of Russ. [106:31] Whoever gave Russ the illness that is now plagued by the upstairs room. [106:36] There's up. [106:37] There's up. [106:38] It's one wife partner that doesn't hate me the most. [106:42] It was bound to happen. [106:43] It was our 10th trip someday. [106:44] Well, someday we were going to come home sick for sure. [106:47] Oh, speaking of upstairs roommate, do you guys hear that? [106:50] I believe those are French horns, which means it's Peter and the Wolf time. [106:54] The Wolf is ready. [106:56] The Wolf man, Russ man. [106:59] Wow. [107:01] That's crazy because I was this is my joke. [107:04] Is what's what's that noise coming from my bedroom? [107:07] Today we're going to fuck it's a lesson video. [107:12] This is the best clarinet solo I could find. [107:14] Wait a second. [107:14] The dirtiest. [107:15] This is a YouTube video called the dirtiest clarinet solo. [107:18] This is the most hard on the head thing we've ever had. [107:20] Russell told a perfect joke

[1:47:00]and Rob's just still trying to find it. [107:24] He's out here just like, maybe I can do that solo. [107:28] Aaron, did we do two jokes at the end? [107:30] Don't you even listen on a recording? [107:32] Why do you just play the opening to rap CD? [107:34] Oh, it's a great clarinet solo. [107:36] Oh, it's not dirty like this one. [107:39] Aaron, you want to hear what a great opening is? [107:42] Yeah. [107:44] Hell yes. [107:46] Fuck yeah. [107:48] This next week, we will get 100%. [107:54] Oh, look at him hold it a little bit. [107:59] Hey guys, I got to go. [108:01] I can't record a double tonight. [108:04] Look at the smile on Magnum PI's face. [108:06] I had forgotten there's so much ass in this opening. [108:09] Hey, that's it. [108:10] That's the before smile, Rob. [108:12] The after is him living a horrible life

[1:48:00]with some third guy's daughter. [108:16] It's been an ability.