Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002)

[0:00]Now, if I was naked, when I turn my video back on, it would be a good bit, but it takes Me so long to take my clothes off. All right, it is 2020, Poor Friends Decided, the volume's too loud, I gotta check it out. Poor Friends Decided, yes, listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by Rolling Stone Magazine. This results in a text chain that's celebrating the music, extorting the order, and led us To make this podcast. We are far from experts, we promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy, Beck Did It Better. Oh, this makes me want to listen to some David Ruffin. We are all the way up, uh-oh, we're going to pause at the same place again, guys, I'm Going to hit the pause again. We are all the way up to album 225, and from 2002, we have Wilco with Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. You know, I screwed up when I was preparing for this album, and I watched the Steve Martin Movie, Sergeant Bilko. So, are you guys not going to listen to this album? Are you guys not going to laugh at my Sergeant Bilko joke?

[1:00]Come on, let's analyze why that didn't get a laugh. I don't know who Sergeant Bilko is, come on. I don't know what that, I don't know what Sergeant Bilko is. Sergeant Bilko was one of the movies where you realize that Steve Martin has a bunch Of shitty movies, because my mom would take me to the theater to every Steve Martin movie, And I saw, like, L.A. Story, My Cousin Vinny, Sergeant Bilko, the one where he's got the Big nose, I saw those in- Is Steve Martin My Cousin Vinny? No, not My Cousin Vinny, My Blue Heaven. My Blue Heaven, I got it wrong. I saw those in the theater, and they were terrible. I wanted to see The Three Amigos. I did see My Left Foot in the theater with my mom, that's not a joke. Is Steve Martin in that one? No. No, that's, what's his name? Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis, yeah. Yeah. My Girl. Guys, it might blow your mind tonight, but guess what? My Girl 2. What a great. Let's have the kid go kick the bees. Yeah, that'll be fucking hilarious.

[2:00]It's a crazy, that's a crazy ending to that movie. Yeah, there's no way when parents bring their kids to that My Girl movie, like, 90% of the Way through it, it's like, hey, this is Veda Saltonpuss being really cool. Like, there's no way you think Michael J. Is going to die because of bee stings. Wait, he dies? Spoiler alert, geez, spoiler alert. Wait, my parents said he was sleeping. I want to remind everybody, there is a My Girl 2. It does exist. Okay, we've read the synopsis before, and it's, guess what? It's extra depressing. Because it starts with the end of My Girl 1. That's how it starts. It's not good. Do you think I made a parody song for this album? Guys, I did. I was struck. Wow. A lightning bolt. I said, there's a, I heard a song, and I go, I know exactly the parody song. I wrote it in three minutes. Here it is. Let's turn on K-Rob, K-R-O-B. I'm proud of this one, actually. What's up, everybody? Welcome to K-Rob, K-R-O-B. You know, for some of us, we've got the Geek Squad.

[3:00]Some of us have McAfee, Antivirus. Oh, no. And some people, well, they just have Russell to make sure everything's going to be okay. Oh, yeah. Russell came downstairs. The phone was in her hands. He saw the website up, and it said, call this number. Russell grabbed the phone from her. He said, don't call strange numbers. That made her furious. She said, don't worry. They know just who we are. I gave them both our social security numbers. Please don't be a bummer. It was an international phone number. Don't tell me what to do, Russell. You always tell me what to do at home. Oh, no. Why would we have to do that? Of course. You make me turn the thermostat way down. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is that true, Russell?

[4:00]When you want to hear about... How's the thermostat doing, by the way? I was a bit of a pretty legion on recently. Oh. Although I do often say that sometimes we all need a little micromanaging. You don't give her your... She doesn't know your social security number. She doesn't. God, no. After that incident. We wouldn't have said that if it wasn't for the thermostat today. I've been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for the last few years just so we don't fuck that one up, too. There you go. There you go. Or 20-69-69. I don't think this is really a social security number. You've been spelling your name like all your friends spell it, right? Not the traditional Russell. One L. One L. One L. One L. Yeah. It's only one L, dear. Russell's kind of strange. Dumbest of a dumb. Russell's like a submarine. He's gone strangely quiet since we've started talking about it. He could be in trouble at home. Is she scooping out... Is she making the garlic faster these days, Russell, after your micromanaging? Is that helping? No. We haven't had another garlic incident. All right.

[5:00]Listen. Okay? We are here talking about Wilco. I've got three guys, okay, who this album reminded them of the business they started where they could have sex with 20,000 women. Oh, wait. No. That was Wiltco. Wiltco. That was the business. Wiltco. We were like, we should start a business where we get to be like Wilt Chamberlain, but not for the basketball part. Listen. In the Bruce Lee movie. That part. I've got Matt and... Is it Kiss of Death or... That was the... No. Wilt Chamberlain was in the... No. You're thinking of Kareem, though, right? It's not Wilt. It's in the movie. Fuck. Fuck me. Sorry. God fucking damn it. Shit. You're totally right about that. God damn it. It's not Kiss of Death. I can't remember which one it is. Fist of Fury? No. It's the one where he has to go through the room, the chambers, something. Yeah. Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? There you go. Watch the drag. Oh, okay. Rob, I sincerely miss those heavy metal bands. Heavy metal bands. Oh. Wow.

[6:00]That's it. Just play the music. Matt nailed it. He got the essence of this album. There we go. The Game of Death is what he was in. Great scene where he kicks Bruce Lee with a 10-foot long leg, and you're like, oh, that Is erotic. Say it again, Matt. You got the essence of the album. I sincerely miss those heavy metal bands. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Guys, I'm doing good. And I also, I shake like a toothache when I hear myself podcast. Wow. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron came home, and he saw that there was a note on the fridge, and the note said, I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the kit. So, Aaron unplugged the fridge and said, good luck, you son of a bitch. Like, the fridge is leaving him. Taking his kit? Like, open its doors and say, hello. Hello. According to my mom, refrigerators may be the most dangerous thing in the world. The number of times I was told not to lock myself in a fridge by my mom, I was like, oh,

[7:00]Mom, that is so insulting to me that you think I would lean over into a fridge and fall in. It's kind of like, have we talked about this? Like, didn't you guys think that we'd be stop, drop, and roll a lot more times when we have In our life? That's true. Never stop, drop, or rolled. Well, maybe rolled, but no stop, drop, or roll. Based on all the practicing we did? No. I had to take, I took, I got CPR certified the other day. And it reminded me of once, I actually saved my daughter. She was two years old. She got a piece of bacon stuck in her throat and was choking in a Smashburger. And I hit the back of her, and it came out, and then she started crying, and I immediately Gave her some Diet Coke. So it looked like I was swatting my child and then getting her to have Diet Coke to Not cry. But the problem was, is I also had given her that piece of bacon in the first place, because I thought it looked like a delicious snack for a two-year-old. So all-time bad parenting move on my part. I was going to say. I was going to ask. I was going to introduce myself. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. And say that, Rob, our love is all of God's money.

[8:00]Let's talk about Wilco. You guys were talking about getting stuck in a fridge. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to search that on Bing right now. For the Christmas holiday, the upstairs roommate got me a little mini fridge for my office Here. Oh, love it. It's probably about 10 inches high. I haven't even plugged it in yet. Looks like the size of a bread box. About the size of a bread box. It would fit six 12-ounce cans in there. So if I want, I could put some ginger beer in there. If I'm drinking mules with you guys one night, maybe put some kite sodas in there, Rob, because It's the Pepsi house, right? Kite sodas, yeah. Yeah. I'll get you that 50-milligram drink I had down in Memphis. Oh, 50. That's crazy. Russell, what could you fit in there? Can you fit six cans in there? Six 12-ounce cans. You can see the inside. Russell, can I ask you this? Does it have a lock on it? Rob. My wife and I are looking for a fridge with a lock that we can put in our room away from

[9:00]Our fucking kids. So I'm showing you guys it has a latch, like a latch that spins like an old fridge, and There was a fucking card with a warning saying that people should not go inside the fridge. Like, legit, a warning. The fridge, Russell, try to put that fridge on your head. Can you even put your head in that fridge? It fits a six- Oh, no chance. There's no way. But Russell, try to put your head there. Come on. Can you for me? You can maybe get like one fist in here. Yeah. Like this. Look at this fist going into the fridge. I kind of like that. I like that little fridge. That's so cute. A couple fingers probably fit in the top. Okay, Russell. Now I feel like you're taking it too far. Russell, what are you going to put in there? What are you thinking of? I'm thinking I will always have two diet ginger beers in here for podcasting if I want to do Moscow Mule. That's usually my go-to cocktail. And a couple of pig eyes. Pig's eyes. Pig's eyes. And you know what else I might put in there, Rob?

[10:00]Pig eyes. Maybe a diet A&W root beer. Yeah. Oof. That sounds even better. A&W root beer. Zero sugar A&W root beer, Russell. There you go. Same thing. Look it up. No. It is not the same thing. It tastes superior. Au contraire, Moe Frey. What is the difference between a diet Coke and a Coke Zero? They taste different, but why do people pick one? It's a fake sugar, right? I'll drink. I'll drink. The Coke Zero is fine, but what's the difference? Just a different sweetener? It's a different sweetener, and my kids hate Coke Zero. Is it time to kick them out of the apartment? That's crazy. Who likes diet Coke better than Coke Zero? Well, I think people drank diet Coke for so long. Coke Zero didn't exist like 10 years ago, did it? I love Coke Zero. Love it. You know what I would have down there, Russell? I mentioned it before. Nobody reacted to it. Pig eye. Pig eye beer. That was the first beer. Pig's eye? Pig's eye was the first beer I ever got drunk to. Is it from New Orleans? I visited Carlton. Sleepy eye? Where's it from? I visited.

[11:00]I have no idea. Yeah, sleepy eye. Sleepy eye. It's a Minnesota beer. That was the first. When I went to Carlton College for a visit, I got drunk for the first time on that beer. What was the first beer you guys got drunk on? I can tell you. It was in Barry from Burnsville's dorm at Moan. First beer I ever had. I told Pete from the Berg about this the other day when we were in Vegas. It was a Blatt's Light. That was the first beer I ever had. Where would you even? It was gross. It was gross. So that's what was like my introduction to beer. I'm like, whoa, I can't drink this crap kind of a thing. I drank so many pig eyes, though. Pig's eyes. Pig's eye? How do I say it? Pig's eye? Pig's eye. I drank so many pig's eye that I bet I drank more beers that night than I have the rest Of my life combined. I can almost guarantee it. And I barfed my guts out in their bushes. Not a good experience for you. And plus, no wonder I don't drink beer now. I started on pig's eye. I think my first. I think my first beer ever was a Coors Banquet in a can. The first beer I got drunk on, though, was Natty Ice.

[12:00]There. So that's the thing. Similar to the Blatt's Light. Yeah. Yeah. We had a bad run of ice beers freshman year of college. Yeah, we did, man. We thought it was higher alcohol, so you got to get the ice beer. Oh, so bad. I don't even think those exist anymore, do they? I don't see them anywhere. How can college guys even survive? Because that's literally a conversation we'd have of like, well the ice beer Is a higher concentration of alcohol. We're like, that's a great point. We'd be like, that guy's a fucking genius. We'd be like, that guy's a fucking genius. We got to listen to it. But then you'd be in there like doing the price by alcohol. You're like, okay, wait a minute. I know there's a formula I could use for this. It's crazy. How much change am I going to get back if I give this guy $60? Five bucks for that case of beer? How much do I have to get back to the freshman? Take that straight to the QB club. You can get five burgers for that. I remember I sent a junior to go buy alcohol for me on the football team, and you would Be shocked at what I got. I got like orange liqueur, amaretto. Looking back, I was like, this guy must have thought I was nuts. Because I was like, oh, I'm going to make amaretto sours. I'm going to make like, I was like, can you give me some grenadine?

[13:00]He's like, why do you want grenadine? I remember getting like root beer schnapps. Yeah, root beer schnapps was a big one. Root beer schnapps is up there with lime vodka on my cannot drink list anymore due to an Unfortunate incident I had in Wisconsin. Barry from Burnzo one time drank a lot of lime vodka because the firehouse liquor or Whatever had, they always had like the cart. Right when you walked in of like the stuff that was 60% off or whatever, he must have Found like the mother. I had a load of lime vodka at one time. So all I remember for like a month and a half was lime vodka. It's hard. It's hard to fault him too much. Like if you just told me, Hey, there's a bottle of lime vodka there, I'd be like, I could Probably drink that straight. Oh, it's really good. Well, if it was like 15 bottles, $15 was an average bottle and it was like $5 Barry was like, Oh yeah, I'll take all these $5 bottles I can take. I remember one time when I was like 25, I bought some liquor, just a bunch of liquor Bottles and not a single one was plastic. And I was like, I'm all right. I'm all grown up. I've really moved up in this world. Well, I think I've told you guys this before, my big mistakes.

[14:00]I don't think I drank a cocktail with ice in it until I was like 25 years old. Oh yeah. That's how you say it. I never had ice in college. Never had ice. I had ice one day and it's when I also had a blender and I was just making frozen drinks. I was like, I should be doing this my whole life. I stayed at a place once where they had a Margaritaville blender. Have you guys ever seen like the pro Margaritaville blender that you can buy? No, but rest in peace, Margaritaville, Las Vegas. We walked all over trying to find it, realized we were staying in the hotel where Margaritaville Was and it's not there anymore. Now look at this blender. It has ice on the top. You add it, it grinds the ice and it makes perfect frozen drinks. Guys, it's only $263. Get it right now. Buy it. Add to cart. Buy it. Do it. Go. Three, two, one. Do it. Listen, Jenny just reimbursed you. One, two, three, do it. Let's go. Come on. Jenny just recently asked me to vacuum something, so we're making progress there. I cannot get a huge blender.

[15:00]She would go crazy. When's her birthday? Yeah, let's do it. Russell. I don't know. Sometime in the fall, I think. We'll throw 20 bucks together. Sounds good. To Jenny for her birthday. Listen. Okay. We are getting, let's get right into the voicemail. Oh, the voicemail. All those freaks. Won't leave me alone. By the way, this is our last voicemail, so please call and leave more voicemails. Who is your favorite Bond? Bond. Okay. Now, of course, mine is gold. Got in there before you guys could. What? You guys don't think gold bond is a funny joke? I mean, it's good. It's great. I picture me like my high school. Kind of the opposite. I was a big fan of former late 80s gopher backup forward, Walter Bond. Oh, my God. You nailed it. I was much more of a fan of Bobby Bond as opposed to Barry Bond.

[16:00]Oh, wow. So Aaron. It depends on the reverse yield. How far I'm in bonds. Well, I'm not sure. Is that the duration? The duration joke? Yeah. I had to put my video off. I was doing my two-bit when Aaron, my Jeffrey two-bit joke, when Aaron brought up the yield Curve. The yield curve. That's what I was doing. Is the curve. Oh boy. Yeah. Depends on what kind of duration you're looking For. Oh, oh, oh, hold on. I got to put it back. The thing is that Russell has a screen that comes up and says, I'm jacking off. That doesn't, that seems to be To love it. You shouldn't have that. It turns out you got to go into your Settings. You have to log in to Zoom to be able to change that. Now, in this email you sent out, you said that The employees could now jerk from home. Was that a Typo? I think the Bond movie that I've seen The most number of times is Moonraker Because my best friend growing up had it on VHS.

[17:00]So is that Roger Moore? That's Roger Moore. Yeah, he would have to be my favorite Bond Then. Oh, he was Roger Moore was kind of fun because he was just super suave, But he was also like 60 Years old. What's the Lyric I'm thinking of where we talk about Roger Moore? Oh, I don't, sorry. What are you thinking of? I'm not sure. I loved, I got to say, Amy Winehouse. Amy Winehouse. Ah, you're totally right. Roger Moore. Ah, she does. You know, I'm no good. What the hell? Sorry, guys. I think You tear men down like Roger Moore. I think it might be this newest one. What's his name? Daniel Craig. No, Daniel Craig. No, not the easier one. Are they going to make an Idris Elba one or not? I don't think so. I think that's the talk And I think it would be great if they did, but I'm with you, Rob. Like, I think It the low-hanging Fruit is Sean Connery. I've just never watched. I've never watched those ones. The ones I've seen Are the Daniel Craig Ones, which are great.

[18:00]And they're on Delta Airplanes all the time, so they're easy Enough to watch. The Sean Connery ones were made In the 70s, and one thing that I love about 70s Movies is if they got into a car, They show that car drive for way Longer. You don't realize now how much car Edits happen in movies until you watch a movie From the 70s. They get in a car, They start it, they back it up, Then they go forward to get out Of the space, and then you kind of follow the car For a little bit, and you're like, damn, I Could have just seen him get in the car, and it could imply What's going to happen. The movies are slow as hell. I just want to bring you guys to remember. The answer's got to be Pierre Bronson, or Whatever his name is here. Pierre Bronson! Pierre! I've heard Christmas only comes Once, mon frere. He's the guy who is on the cover Of the video game, and to me, the video game Is bigger than all the movies. I've never seen one Bond, And I think it was the first Daniel Craig one where he's playing some sort of card game. I've never seen another Bond. You've never seen any of the... I've never seen any of them except

[19:00]The Daniel Craig card game, or whatever The card game one is. Could you even play the video game? Did it even make sense to you? Because there's a whole scene... Hey, Rob, slappers only, right? I was going to say, there's a whole scene in the Pierce Brosnan movie where he's just slapping Oddjob, And the game Doesn't really make sense until you get that. Game's still fun. I hated that game. I was terrible at it. I was so good at PC games, And I could move in a mouse, and then when I'd play That on probably what is... Can we just say it's the worst controller of all time? The controller makes no sense. You know what I mean? It's like if Batman Got drunk and designed something, you would have The Nintendo controller. It made no sense whatsoever. Rob, put your thumb up and Put your thumb around like this. This is how you Played it. You know what game I played, Russell? I played Perfect Dark. It was like the second James Bond game. Don't get me started on this. I don't know. As a video game kid Growing up, I have very little

[20:00]Respect for those who claim That computer games are any superior. The video game kid, I would laugh at you. I would Mock you if you were to come in and be like, Oh yeah, I don't know how to play this, but check out This game on my computer. Get the fuck out of here. It's true. You're playing Super Mario 3, and I'm playing Oregon Trail, trying to act like it's fun. Your life's boner. Everyone in elementary school, Your life's boner. You'd be passing a grave, you'd be like, Here it comes. What was the Rammstein game or whatever? Doom. That was on the computer. That was a big one, right? Doom was a good one. I used to call Sam On the phone With my modem. From the Sam and Rob and Sam show? Yes, with my modem, and we would play Duke Nukem just one-on-one. That was a game. And we would play Over the phone, so nobody in our house could use our Phone because I was playing Duke Nukem. And guys, I was so much better than Sam. I would work him up and down. We'd go to football practice,

[21:00]Go home and play Duke Nukem against each other, And then come back for the second football practice of the day. God, I wish I could go back. God, my life sounds so sweet then. I thought I was busy. A couple other game questions for you guys. One, the other computer game people used to play Was Leisure Suit Larry. I don't know if you remember that one. Yeah, never played it, but I'm aware of it. I vaguely remember the name. The other game that we've never spent time talking about Is for the TI-82 or 85. It's Drug Wars. Do you guys remember Drug Wars for the graphic Calculator? Yes. That was huge. Does it still exist somewhere? I bet it does, right? I asked my daughter what game she has on Her TI calculator now, and she looked The disgust she had in her face When she looked at me that I would Have a game. And I was like, well, you gotta Understand, we didn't have a phone. We only had... We only had one way to spell boobs on a... Yeah. Oh. Yeah. 5-8-0-0-8.

[22:00]Hey, that's how you spell boobs. Hey, I'm selling lewds. It looks a lot like Boobs on this calculator. Oh, my God. I mean, that was it. Like, now, can you Imagine, like, being a kid now And getting, trying to, oh, I'm gonna Work to get a TI-85 game? You'd be like, yeah, fuck off. I'm gonna watch TikTok, you old piece of shit. God damn. The other amazing game, and this is Incredible. One of Our friends who went to Vegas When you're with us, who played football With you, Rob, he made a calculator Game about our other friend, the Pleasure Principle, on a mission To find insulin. On a calculator game. You guys know This? No. You could play as the Pleasure Principle. Our buddy Zach did that? It essentially made, like, a rip-off Of Drug Wars, but it was The Pleasure Principle trying to Find his insulin. That reminds me that when I was in college, Remember those twins who never passed the basketball? Yeah. I made a whole website About one of them. What?

[23:00]Where I put, like, his head as the border, and We were not that close of friends. And I spent, like, three days Making this website, and it was just a joke website. He must have thought I was an absolute Psychopath. I just, I haven't thought about that In years. Can you imagine if somebody you don't really know made a joke Website about you? You'd be like, ha-ha, okay. That's totally normal stuff. Time to wear a phone book under my shirt in case This guy tries to stab me. Alright, let's get into Roland going. But I'll wear it up top so I look bustier. Oh, yeah, that reminds me. In class the other day, I brought up the term Phone book, and I was made fun of for about two minutes. Phone book? It's going to be so cutting. Yeah, it's true, man. They made fun of me For talking about a phone book, and you know what? They were right. I deserve to be made fun of. Aaron, Roland going. How's it going with you? Yeah, I've got a couple of things. I've got, uh... An update. I've got a lament, and I need Some advice. So, um... I want to celebrate... The dolphins?

[24:00]It's the dolphins. It's a dolphins Lament. Dolphins are lamenting? No. It's the dolphins... Guys, again, You're thinking of the hit song Dolphins Cry. Well, I guess I'll... Let me start with the lament, because maybe you guys Maybe you guys remember this. I should Have remembered this. I was at Trivia on Tuesday night, And the trivia question Was, what band Has the all-time highest... What band has the all-time highest Selling album? And I knew the answer, and I let my team Talk me out of it. Say that again, Rob? Eagles. Yeah, Eagles. Fucking Eagles, and I knew it, and I let them talk me out of it. They were like, well, it's gotta be the Beatles, right? It has to be the Beatles. I was like, no. I'm pretty sure It's Eagles. I'm pretty sure, and I... Ugh, you guys, I knew it. You know what, Aaron? It wouldn't be a trivia question if it was The Beatles. I know! It's a trivia question Because it's Eagles. Eagles. I know, and then... And then, maybe when She read the answer, she said, the Eagles, and I was like, No, not... It's not the... Eagles. It's just Eagles, but then... Oh, my God. No one wanted to hear that. It is the Smashing Pumpkins. Yes. Sir, one bonus point for you for being

[25:00]So smart, is what Aaron dreams As he gets thrown out of the trivia for being Annoying. Yeah. Aaron, it is Time for you to quit that trivia team. They are Fucking morons if they think the Beatles sold More albums than Eagles. I know. It was hard. I knew I should have stuck to my guns, Man, but I knew it, and I said it a couple Of times. I also, though, the problem with This trivia team, I know at least one of the guys Doesn't hear very well. I don't know If people don't hear me, or if they're Ignoring me. And it's also A problem because you're at the trivia night, it's loud in there, You're trying to say the answer So you don't give it away. Yeah. So I don't know if they didn't Hear me, or if they're ignoring me. So it's a tough thing. Say something Super offensive one time, see if they react. Yeah, let me give that one a shot. Cock Balls. So that happened. The thing I want to celebrate is that This morning, my... One of our great listeners, maybe even our Greatest listener, my lovely lady Made a sex-moot-tumbo Joke. So, Rob, congratulations.

[26:00]She made a sex-moot-tumbo Joke. You were Going in, and she gave you the Way that she's waving the phone. Blocked. The ball was blocked. No, she was giving him a Prostate exam. Oh, my God. All right, but I do need some advice. I need some... This is serious. What was the joke? He could sit a chair across the room and give you A prostate exam. Aaron, did she say anything about nobody Dunks in the house of Mutumbo? You know what? I've got a couple weeks. I'm going to make sure this is Clear. So she asked me To make some lunch. We both Were going home today, and she asked me to make some lunch. And she said, if you want to sex Mutumbo, you got to make him some lunch. So, I mean... I got to say, Aaron, No disrespect to your wife. That's So fucking hot. That is one of the hottest Things. If a woman... Referred to herself as Mutumbo And then I was allowed to make a love to her? Holy cow. Aaron, do you think... Do you think, theoretically,

[27:00]She would Maybe sub that in for other NBA Superstars? I hadn't thought of that. Can you imagine? Just roll through All of that. Hey, do you want to have sex with Dominique Wilkins? Whoa. I didn't think I did, But I kind of do now. I would rather it would be like a Really shitty player. Like, do you want to Have sex with Chris Carr, former Timberwolves backup swing man? Jeff Hornacek. Gary Trent Sr. Can I tell you? Well what, Aaron? My wife did this. And she said, listen, You want me to be A.C. Green? And I was like, no. That's the one I don't want. That's the only one. It's the only one. The only one. What? Why? Why? All right. It's late. Should we move on? Sure. That was a good one. I like that. Let's move on.

[28:00]How's it really going? Your partners have Kind of NBA fantasies. Speaking of NBA, in this House, it is out of control. Now The upstairs roommate beyond Timberwolves Podcast, she's now, I've got Her into the Bill Simmons. She's Telling me every other day that he's dropped A new episode. Our episode, Our podcast has dropped. We're up to at least fifth or six on the podcast List for you. It used to be It was listened to every morning. Now it's Like multiple days behind, if at All, because of her Timberwolves Pete, what do You call that, Aaron? A pinache Penchant. Yeah, she's got a penchant for the Timberwolves. If you're asked, where do you go bear? Yeah, we, we. Yeah, it's good. Well, how is it In other people's worlds Like Matt, for example, today To tell you I'm good buddies with Nick Swartzen now. Have I told you? Yes. Yeah. How did this Happen? I mean, do We, do we talk about on the podcast? No, No, I don't know. You texted About it. We can talk about the podcast. It's a comedian

[29:00]And he's on a lot of stuff. He's, he's best Friends. I'll Get to the end, which was the Like the greatest thing you could probably Ever tell somebody. He said, yeah I'm like, I'm best friends with Adam Sandler. I said, you're best friends That I'm saying like, that's a pretty sick thing To be able to say to somebody in a bar that you just Met. So I'll, I'll try to get through it quick because I was Trying to play it really cool, but we were, I was at A retirement dinner on a Sunday night And we, so we're having this Retirement dinner for a guy and we said, we're going to go out For one or two after. So we were At the butcher and the boar Russell In North loop. Yep. You know, It was just North of Washington, A little bit, East Of 94, you Know, I think it's third Avenue. That makes sense. So great place. It's down Portland. Why Would, why would anybody take Portland to get there? Well, maybe that's where your first apartment was and you Forgot any other street that's in Ridgefield. Yeah. So we went over to the free house For a couple of beers afterwards because there was a Football game on to walk

[30:00]In with the two guys that I was with. And One of the guys is significantly older than Us. It was his retirement. And so You know, he's sitting and I'm in the Middle and I bumped the other guy and I say, Hey, X words. And over there, this guy Is just drinking by himself Across the bar. Okay. And watching football, like He's watching into us and we're watching Into him kind of a thing. Right. And so You, so you can ogle and see if you think It's him without being awkward. Right. You know, kind of get some glances, Right? Get some glances. And so my Buddy goes, I think it is kind of a thing. So free house is closing down At 10. They say, Michael, where do we I'm asking The bartender, like, where do we go now? And he across the bar says bunkers Head down to bunkers. That's about it. You know, and so bunkers on Washington About two blocks To the, what is it? That'd be the North West of the Free house on Washington. Dumb. And so, So I

[31:00]We'd elbow the other guy. He, he leaves First, Nick does. And so then all we got To go to, we got to go to bunkers now, right? Kind of a thing. So go to bunkers And sure enough, he's sitting kind of close to the Bar when you walk in and he goes, Hey, you guys Made it like, yeah, You know, so now we got to play it cool. We don't know this is Nick Swartzen, right? We're just, it's just a guy. And so so Hey, So Hey, from around here Like this place. Yeah. They got live music Everyone sometimes. So stuff Like that, like just Chit chat. He asked something else about Something going on. He goes, where are you from? And I said, You know, from Richfield and it's Say God's Country. He goes, no, he says, nobody Calls it God's country. Oh yeah, they do. He goes And then he says, I was playing at the state Theater and I wish I would have known this Because I would have led with that joke and it would have got a Whole bunch of laughs. And so I'm like, what? You know, and I knew he was at state theater. He was here For standing. Now you're playing dumb. I'm playing Dumb. I said, you were at, what were you

[32:00]Doing at the state theater? He says, I'm a comedian. I'm like, what? I'm playing it off, but You play the state theater. He goes, yeah. I go, well, you got to tell me I'm sorry. You got to tell me who you are. You're like Nick Swartzen. I go, oh yeah, you're from You're from St. Paul, right? Yeah. So then we kind of get it. Oh, you're Terry from Reno 911. I think I played it. I think I played it smooth, guys. I played it smooth. What'd you think? That's real smooth. And did you ever let on that you actually Knew who he was? Did you ever? No. I mean, like I kind of use that As like, oh yeah I think You know, I certainly have heard of You, your comedy and stuff, but you're kind Of an actor. And so he's, yep. You've done much better than My celebrity encounter in New York. I went to a Friend's place and Kyle McLaughlin was there because Their kids are friends. And he was like, hi, I'm Kyle. And I was like, hi. And that was it. Because I was like, I don't Know what else to say because I want To say like, oh, I loved you in Dune. But you can't tell him like, I love

[33:00]You in Blue Velvet. Like, you can't Say that, right? That's crazy. Loved you in Dune? That's all you gotta say. I would have started singing, in the Arms of A single. That's a different McLaughlin. Oh, that's it. You're missing it. Tiller does. Yeah. Stop singing over those things for all The dogs. I got my sound machine turned To pound Dog pound and I'm hearing all this singing. Listen, I had that happen, Matt, where I was At a bar in Warroad once and I was Watching TV And I go to the bathroom and a guy Comes in. It's not a big bathroom. He comes in behind me. He goes, What the fuck you been looking at all night? I was like, oh, what? Because this is like 1030 in Warroad, Minnesota. Okay. Where you know A bar fight could very easily break out. And here I am peeing at a urinal. Okay. Usually a fun place For me, a place where we actually make lots of jokes. Back in the day When you couldn't be staring at your phone, though. No, exactly. There's no TikTok. I said to

[34:00]My wife, I said we were taking pictures of each other at the Urinal in Vegas. She goes, you fucking love taking Pictures of people on the toilet. I was like, You got me. I have so many of them. Like, I look back to my Vegas photos and I'm like, Why do I got all these pictures of guys in the urinal? People on the toilet and feet. I don't Know, Rob. I'm going to have those with those pictures I took Of my wife when I'd kick in the door and take a picture Of her. So she's always surprised on the toilet. I thought it was funny. And so it turns out that this guy, I said, I don't know what you're talking about. It turns out We go back out. He's sitting At the bar with his head right below The TV. So to him, I had Been staring at him for the last half hour With a dull, glazed look in my eye. He must Have been like, what the fuck is this guy's problem? It's crazy. We had at least, we're like, We were looking here and he was like looking At the other so we weren't like having to Look across from each other. No, I think You played a cool man. Good job. So we're good buddies now. Yeah, me and the other guy We, he sends me Like Instagram updates like, hey, everybody, Nick is in Madison this week And stuff like that. We should see if he wants to hang out.

[35:00]You're going to be the next Paul Blart. Paul Blart. Yep. So that's good. Russell, rolling, going. How's it going? Rob, pull up a song. Barry Louise Polisar, All I Want Is You. Is this a joke? Are you trying to get me To like type this? All I want Is You. See, I nailed that part. All I want for Christmas is you. I watched This movie on the plane, Russell. Matt, I did Too. I just watched You. Oh, yeah. I watched it. Week and a half ago. Al, this movie's soundtrack Was on a constant loop for me. I love this soundtrack. I think it's one of the Greatest ever. Absolute killer Soundtrack. I watched half this movie I think coming back from Vegas. I watched the other half Going out to Atlanta. There's nothing better Than picking up a movie where you left Off, right? Yep. So, and this music hits So good in the very end of the movie When they're playing the song at the end and then The guys run by again. Such a fun Movie. I think it's fun. I think

[36:00]You'd call it a fun movie. Yeah, I think it's worse. It ends well, right? I think it's fun. Such A good movie. So I had to share that song. Rob, We'll just let it play for a little bit. I always tell everybody just every Time somebody's got yellow on. Why does everybody think yellow is gender neutral Every time? Nobody ever picks it up. The quote. Such a good Movie. So I was in Atlanta for work after I took That flight. Sometimes we typically play the Flight tonight before I go into the movie That I listen to on the flight, but that's okay, Rob. Yes. I can only play one sound At a time. I can only play two Headphones. I go and I got to stay at a nice hotel. It was the St. Regis. The St. Regis in Buckhead. Buckhead, okay. Matt, could you Buckhead is north of the airport. Yeah, we'll see Atlanta. You go through They call it the martini glass, Right? And so you got 85 that goes Up towards Kentucky. You got 75 that goes up towards Never been to New York and stuff like that. And so, yeah, Buckhead is essentially

[37:00]In between. It's in the martini. It's where You want to be if you're going somewhere. So there were a few things I wanted to share about my Hotel experience. One of them is They had a huge whirlpool with doors That open into the living room. Who sits in the Whirlpool with the doors open in the Living room? Does it face the TV? I think you can maybe See the TV. It might be tough to see The TV, but yeah. Look at the pelicans. Fly pelicans. Listen, Russell, forcing people To talk to you while you're in a hot tub Is an all-time power move. I can see you doing that, Rob. Everybody thinks that you are better If you are in a hot tub talking to them. Another Quote, which I never remember What it was until today. He's sitting in the hot tub and so Many comes in and says, fuck you. He goes, Fuck me, fuck you. Fuck me, fuck you. Yeah, fuck me, fuck you. I forgot what that's from. Great movie scene. So the other thing they do, like the

[38:00]Turndown service, I go back to my room And there is A towel on the floor with slippers. Look at this picture. Nice. So they put a Towel next to your bed. Is that like Because people don't want to put their feet On a hotel carpet? What's the deal? I just heard About that. I think if you Google it, it's A huge thing. People think like they're the Grossest. They never Always have socks on. Nobody. They Don't want to touch that. I've never heard of it. Never heard of it. So it is a thing, though. So here's the real question I wanted to share with you guys. Had a few drinks for this work dinner. Also at this work Dinner, assigned seating. Oh, wow. Which Honestly is kind of a relief. I think it's great. You figure out Where you got to go and especially for I'm Good with I'll figure out people. I Can sit with people I don't know and be fine. But My guess is for people at like some Of those things, it's probably the biggest Relief in the world because they They don't know people might be out of

[39:00]Their league from like a professional. They don't know who to sit with. I think at work it takes Pressure off. Yeah, it does. Me when I'm in a thing with the work and You have to sit by picker sitting by I use it as a symbol of power. I'm Aggressively picking my seat. I'm aggressively telling other people sit By me like I'm setting it up. I want people to show I'm a leader. I'm In charge. You're not in the booth. You're in the chair. So You don't if you got to go to the bathroom, you don't got to tell Everybody to move. Exactly. Yeah. Middle seat on an airplane. Here's what I really wanted to share with you Guys. I had a few drinks and I went back. I'm like I'm taking something out of the mini bar. I'm getting a snack from the mini bar. Yes. So I thought what I would do is share With you the mini bar snack Options to see what you guys Would choose. Does that sound like a good game? Did you happen to write down the prices or know the Prices? There were no prices listed. So I have no idea. I was in Charleston one time and I Got I got like a I Just flew flown in and I had like a M&M's or something like that

[40:00]Just to try to tie me over and I was Shocked. Russell, if you're getting stuff from the hotel mini bar, You're big pimping for Sure. Well, this mini bar had like a Whole table full of booze and stuff And I was like, I'm not touching that stuff. They'll charge you like probably 150 bucks for like a small Bottle of Tito's or something like that, right? So, but here were the options Gummy bears Would appear to be Peanut M&M's. We can't tell for sure. It's Got it says St. Regis on them. Oh, okay. So all right. All right. So They're not going to be big sour kings, but I got To say peanut M&M's a Classic hotel food. I have eaten M&M's In a number of hotels. I think it's a perfect Match. The next one that Surprised me. I was shocked to see this In a beef jerky. I was just going to ask if there's any beef Jerky, beef jerky. It would never done to get beef jerky. I'm going to be jerky beef jerky In a hotel room because to me it's like

[41:00]What if somebody comes in And wants to make love to you like you're going to Have a beef jerky breath. That's crazy. Like you're in the whirlpool Eating beef jerky. Oh my God. The Upside down pineapple you put on your hotel Door at a work conference has worked. Somebody's come in. You're in there eating Beef jerky in the hotel. It would smell like soup in there. Russell, if you're eating Beef jerky in the hot tub, it'd be crazy. The next thing was Two packages of Like snack mix, which appears to be Like the Gardetto stuff without the You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. What would you Call that mix? The greatest hits mix When I was in Vegas. I Did have Gardetto's. I bought a Gardetto's Gardetto's to me is I don't know, but It is a hotel airplane food though. Like you listen, you're Chomping on those brown, big brown Chips in the Gardetto's and then a little Pretzel rod comes along. Oh, that's Sweet. Oh, that's a good stick. Oh, Oh, some sort of fancy Chocolate bar. XO

[42:00]C-O-L-A-T-L. So it's some sort of Atlanta chocolate Crackling crunch chocolate bar. Yeah. No, an espresso chocolate Bar. Oh, Russell can't You're going to say the thing with chocolate bars in a hotel Room is this. You're going to get chocolate on Your fingers. You're going to get him on the bed sheets. Everybody thinks you poop the bed. Sorry. We're working. I went To his, I went to his place. He was in the hotel Room. His bed sheets were covered in brown Streaks and it smelled Like soup in there. And it's not like they're going to look and check the Mini bar and be like, oh no, it's okay. I like that. The subject Here is that in a hotel room, Rob Only eats in bed. Like there might Be a desk and a chair. Nope. Rob's Taking whatever food from the mini bar Taking it straight to bed. He didn't have a desk in the hotel room is the most Depressing thing ever. Yeah, that's terrible. If I'm eating at a Desk in a hotel room, something's gone terribly Wrong. I'm eating That shit in bed. And guess what? I'm not cleaning It up. I'm throwing a yogurt container on the bed next To me. Not my problem anymore. Sorry. I tip five bucks for this.

[43:00]The other snacks. Just kidding. I never Tipped the hotel cleaning staff. Small can of sour cream And onion Pringles. Slaps. Small can Of, I don't know what the red Pringles Whatever red Pringles can is. Regular. Can I say this about Pringles, Russell? I recently found out And this kind of turned me off for Pringles That dehydrated Mashed potatoes That technology is how they make Pringles. Pringles is somehow Made from dehydrated Mashed potatoes. And this is something I heard and I now realize I don't quite know how It comes together. So you're voting for RFK Jr. Then. Hey, listen, My balls are so full of microplastics. We got to Do something. It was bigger before, But now it's got microplastics. I don't know. I don't know If there's any microplastics in this, but the Last two things were two bags of Corks popcorn. One

[44:00]Was classic and simple salted It out here. And the other One was caramel maple pecan And butter. Oh, that's What I'm going for. Now you're talking. That's the one. That's the winner. I'll Tell you what, Russell. I think we're going like this. I what? When I'd see that, I'd Say, Hey, guess what? If I'm going to get one thing for the Minibar, might as well fucking get two. I'm Going to go peanut M&Ms and the Gardettos. That's what I'm picking, man. What are you Picking? I'm going caramel corn First, then probably the peanut M&Ms. Aaron, what are you getting? Start with some beef Jerky, wash it down with the caramel corn. I ended up one thing. If you guys will look at, if you look At it like this, you'll see the caramel popcorn Is much bigger. Oh, okay. Then some of those smaller M&Ms One, right? That's a great point. So I ended up going with the caramel maple Pecan popcorn, Which had like the little pecan Pieces covered in Candy. That's a real delicacy. Awesome. That's really good, Russell. That's a Great snack. You did a great job. So I

[45:00]Grab it. I didn't Know if I wanted to tell you guys this, but I'm going to tell you It anyways. Okay. We can always Delete. I grab it and I'm not really Paying attention. And I open it and start kind Of eating a few and I go, was that Bag already open? Oh, Oh, and I started Thinking, I wonder if someone opened this Took something that like A bite of it and put it back Out. I wouldn't be Able to sleep. I would not be able to sleep That night. That's all I'm thinking about. So then that's all I could think About. I'm like looking around. I'm like, where's the Thing? Where's like the thing that I ripped? Cause you rip off the top. Then you open It. Yeah. I couldn't See like anything ripped off the top. Oh my God, Russell. But I had Taken a picture for this. Podcast. And If you guys look here, Someone had ripped the Top and I ate a bag Of opened Popcorn. How long ago was this?

[46:00]It was a couple. It was two days ago. I'm still alive. Two days ago. Still here. I don't think Joe Made you sick. I think eating strangers Popcorn made you sick. Russell they're licking Their fingers after they had the first bite. Put their fingers back in. Get back in there. You'd grab The bag. You would never think like, oh, Is it already open? No, that's a mistake. I think I just grabbed it like it intuitively kind of opened It up. Russell. And then you realize You should look at that hotel room comped. No. There was no like rip. I never ripped the top off. Russell, can I ask you this, Russell? Yeah. Did you get an STD and this is a story that you're using To cover it up? This seems Like an STD cover-up story to be. Very complicated. Very low probability. Russell, here's a scenario for you. Man and woman. Doing some hand stuff. Get done. He decides, Hey, I'm a little hungry, but I don't want to pay. So you know what I'm going to do? Sneaky minibar grab. Russell, he puts his hand in the Popcorn. You're the next one to eat it. What do you

[47:00]Think about that? Terrifying? It's either that Or I've been blaming the influenza on you Guys from Vegas, but I haven't Found a gonorrhea excuse yet. I gotta Say, Russell, that is Really gross to me. I'm not a germ guy. That's gross as hell. Would you have stopped? At what point? Because I was like, I don't Remember opening it, but It would never dawn on you that it Was already open, right? It looked closed. It was full. It never dawned on me That someone probably ripped it open, Took a bite out of it, didn't like it, and put it back. No. It's like trying on a bathing suit At Target and it's warm. It's a bummer. Bummer, man. So, yeah. Rolling, going, Rob. How's it going with you? Well, I thought I was having A bad day, but it seems to be better and better The more I talk to you, Russell. Listen, I gotta take us back to TikTok, okay? Because I found A TikTok. Can you

[48:00]Guys explain to me, what is Generation Z? First of all, have you seen this TikTok? It's a good Name for a bit. Gen Z. You guys are Gen X. You're not, Rob. I am. I don't feel like We're Gen X. What generation are we? January 1, 1981. That's crazy. Who's the actor In the Jack Black record store? We're Gen X? Cusack. John Cusack. John Cusack feels like a Gen X guy. We're not John Cusack's generation. This is Gen Y and this is Gen Z. I looked it up. Gen Z, otherwise known As the Zoomers. I hate that. They were born Mid to late 90s and early 2010s. It turns out that TikTok came out About Gen Z's favorite Kinks. We want to relate to these people. Let's get into their kinks. Russell, I know you're not kink-shaming. Some love oiling up rubber Sheets. For people like Aaron, yeah, they love sniffing feet.

[49:00]They're kinks. I was going to make a rubber sheet joke to Russell About all of his sheets on his bed, but I decided not to. In respect, I'll make a rubber sheet. If there is a TikTok about open Caramel pecan popcorn bag, I am in. Russell, Remember those books in elementary school with the Scariest drawings of the skeleton And it was the story of the girl with the red scarf? Remember the stories you tell in the dark? You know what I'm talking about? That sounds like a story from that book About a guy who eats the popcorn. It was already open. It's the most scary thing I've ever heard In my life. Gen Z's top kinks have been ranked. Let's get into it. It turns out that Gen Z Here are some of the top kinks they had In 2023. First one, I'm not going to say. Too gross. But it's continuing after you're done. First of all, what? What are you talking about? Continuing after that? That's crazy. Number two, Russell, what do you think of this? Sex on balcony? Oh, no heights. No way. I forgot you have a

[50:00]Heights thing. Okay. How about this, Russell? Sex while playing video Games. I've actually been thinking about Taking up a new hobby And I've been thinking it's either I'm going To start collecting cards again or I've got a Buy a video game set. What Other hobbies could I possibly pick Up that would be fun? Not Work like reading, not Reading books, not Any of that stuff. What would be a fun? Number two is coming out. I think you should go With the video games over the cards. I'll tell you, Russell, I'm playing Marvel Rivals Right now and it's all I can think about. I've been Dreaming about this video game. I come home and play It. I am deep into it right now. It's kind of Ruining my life. Actually, I highly Recommend it. Has it ever Led to relations with your wife? Well, it's funny You bring that up. Number three, sex while playing Video games. How? Oh, wait, I already said that. I forgot Because I was thinking about Oddjob and Slappers again. I don't think I could Do sex with video games.

[51:00]Number four. I don't know. Yeah, that's I don't get It. You know what? I bet it is Something to do with a joystick. You know What I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. You know what I mean? Like that's the mean joke there. I bet it is. Have you ever had the urge to work out with your partner naked? Have you ever had the urge to work out with your partner naked? Have you ever had the urge to work out with your partner naked? Uh-oh. It seems like you guys have. Yes! Okay, tell us about working out with your partner's naked, please. Okay, tell us about working out with your partner's naked, please. I mean, now that you mention it, it's like a pretty decent idea. She's doing like squats. Oh, I'm sorry I said that. Disrespectful. Jesus. But I can't edit it. The button broke. Jesus. But I can't edit it. The button broke. See, that would be the problem. Workout? I don't know.

[52:00]I mean, like I'm doing squats. I mean, like I'm doing squats. Think about that. That's what you want to see? You think that's what my partner wants to see? You think that's what my partner wants to see? Is me doing an unbelievably deep squat? That's crazy. A deadlift? You want to see me do a deadlift nude? That's crazy. A deadlift? You want to see me do a deadlift nude? Nobody, who wants to see that? That's crazy. It's funny it's funny, Rob. Rob's definitions of working out is three lifts: bench, squat, deadlift. Rob's definitions of working out is three lifts: bench, squat, deadlift. Rob's definitions of working out is three lifts: bench, squat, deadlift. So sit-ups, you're going to see me doing sit-ups and get turned on. I'm all like yoga. I'm all Like something similar. I assume exactly. Things like that. That's a workout. Too much hair. Too much hair for yoga. It turns out that Gen Z now, guys, is changed. They're Actually, they're doing more boring stuff. Number one position for Gen Z, missionary. Number five, The captain. Now, I don't know what captain is. Do we look up captains? I don't know what these Are. Captain, and then we're done. Captain's sex position. Okay, I'm going to guess that

[53:00]You put on a big hat, blue hat with a C on it, and you're, it's the captain crunch position. Oops, all berries. That's a good captain crunch joke, okay? The captain sex pose. It's just where you're holding your ankles. That's called the captain. You know why? It's because it looks like a guy's fingers when you go on the captain now. That's what her legs look like. Oh, God. All right. And with that thought, let's get into The album. Oh, right. Why don't we hit some kink top? What are the kinks on the coming up actually? The Village Hall of Preservation Society Or whatever. We're talking about Wilco. We're talking about, I believe Wilco were kinks Fans, guaranteed. Yanky Foxtrot. I can never remember what this is. Yanky. YHF. Yanky Hotel Foxtrot. The, Wilco is a Chicago-based band, so shout out to Lershan and Chicago.

[54:00]Okay. Before this album, they recorded two albums with Billy Bragg. That movie is too short. Chicago-based bands. Those Billy Bragg albums are short. Those are one of the albums that in my family, we listen to the same albums over And over and over. Our personality types dictate that we'd never listen to new Music. We have the same music and those Billy Bragg albums are on heavy rotation. They're so good. But what you realize is that this started a whole problem. What you realize is that To get along with Steve Tweedy, the lead singer of Wilco, I think it's very difficult. Okay. Steve? Is it, what is it? No, Jeff Tweedy, right? Jeff Tweedy. I think it's very difficult to get along with Jeff Tweedy, the lead singer. So now they work with Billy Bragg. They're getting a huge fight over that album about mixing it. Billy Bragg wants it one way. They want it this way. Huge fight. This happens over and over.

[55:00]They get in constant battles with production. And listen to this, Jay Bennett joined the group as a multi-instrumentalist. There is a documentary About this, making of this album called I'm Trying to Break Your Heart, which is the first Name on the song on the album. And apparently it's super good because you get to See all this because the album is, the drama behind this album is insane. Jay Bennett joins The group. He says, okay, I want to play and I want to mix the album. They say, okay, Jeff Tweedy goes and plays with a guy named Jim O'Rourke at a festival in Chicago. And they start a band with a third person Glenn Kochke. So we have the lead singer of Wilco Starting a new kind of side band. Tweedy and Bennett, the lead singer and the producer And the guy who's mixing it, want to decide if it's going to be a normal album or more Avant-garde, kind of more like a radiohead type direction. Behind Bennett's back, Tweedy invites O'Rourke to come mix it. This guy he played with at a festival. O'Rourke comes in and mixes it. Everybody says, oh, I like this better, including actually Bennett. And he kicks out the drummer

[56:00]They have and replace it with the drummer he had with the guy on tour. So now he's like, Replace two people in the band during this album. And as soon as the album comes out, This Bennett guy is fired. He's out of the band. Meanwhile, the record company that they're working Under, the label. And then he said, I'm the captain now. He did the captain pose like this, Which is all I can think about. Reprise is a label owned by Time Warner. At this time, Time Warner bonds with AOL in one of the greatest mergers of all time. So Time Warner says, We got to save money. We need to go down and monitor this Wilco album that's being made. Well, they send somebody down to monitor it and give Wilco advice. How do you think Wilco takes that advice? Not great. Like Rob takes advice. We're all working on things, We're all trying to grow and that's actually fine. Okay. And the fact that you said that kind of Bothers me, but that's actually going with your point. So I can't let that happen. Reprise is under Time Warner. They hear the album from Wilco and they say, This album is so bad. There's no singles on it. You're off the label and we're not going

[57:00]To release the album. And so instead of getting paid, they say, we want the album, We want the master. That's all we want. And they say, okay. And this, I thought of myself, Have there been a lot of albums that have been released and been rejected by the label? And The answer is that there has been, and I'm going to do a quick list in the Middle of the album, rejected by the label. These are albums that were made And the label said, actually this sucks balls. We're not related to releasing it even though we're Paid. First one. Now I got to admit, this is kind of a half list. It was hard to find this. I thought It was a good idea. Then it turned out it really wasn't the first one, the toadies. Oh, the Toadies came out with Rubberneck and then came out with an album called feeler. This is what People say is the best song off of it. The label heard this album and said, nope,

[58:00]You guys suck. We're not releasing the album. The toadies. I mean, I thought the toadies were A one hit one. Am I wrong? But there were one hit. Possum Kingdom, right? Oh, I don't remember. Oh, you guys will know this one. I know this one. Yeah, this is a great song. Possum Kingdom. I can hit the, can you hit these notes? You'll know this there. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay. So listen, I said it was a tough list. Okay. So I'm starting with the one I didn't know as well. Well, it turns out this is very similar to the song Cherry Pie by Warrant. Wow. They heard Warrant's album and said, we're not releasing this unless you put a hit on it. The lead singer wrote the song in 15 minutes on a pizza box, added it, And it was such a big hit that they changed the name of the album to this song. So this album almost got rejected by the label. It doesn't quite fit the list.

[59:00]It would be an atrocity for anything on Monsters of Rock to not exist. It's, this song is so good. And you know who plays the guitar solo on it? Who's that? D.C. Deville from Poison. Oh, really? I mean, this is a banger. 80s, those guys. Yes, this is a good song. You know what band this reminds me of? Spend X-Fation. Neil Young goes into a barn and in one evening records an entire album. He calls the album Chrome Dreams. He's going to release it in 1977 with Pocahontas on it. And the label says, these songs suck balls. They sound terrible. We absolutely are not Releasing this as an album. Whoa. And it was on acetate for a long time, And then that got bootlegged. And eventually he released a lot of the songs on other albums, But they said, nope, it wasn't recorded well enough. It didn't work. Now finally,

[1:00:00]By far, this Carmel Popcorn sucks. I'm putting it back. No one has sex with the host of my tumble. Russell, I can't stop thinking about that Carmel Popcorn. The only recording I know of that song is Johnny Cash. Yeah. No, same here. The most famous one of all time, most famous album. We talked about it last episode. It's the number one album on the list. What's going on? When Marvin Gaye brought this to Barry Gordy, he said, fuck off, this sucks. It's one of the worst songs I've ever heard. They released it. Some people at Motan released This single behind Barry Gordy's back. Becomes a huge radio hit. He comes to Marvin Gaye And begs for him to make the rest of the album, even though earlier it said, You're not going to make one of those fucking protests. So actually Russell Categorically the best album of all time technically was rejected by its label.

[1:01:00]So Wilco buys the Masters. They were planning on releasing this on September 11th, 2001. Just like so many other songs that was a list that got cut. Actually, Nobody's ever heard that list. But they started getting shared on like Kazan, Limewire, Low Quality, the songs. And so Wilco said, well, fuck that. We're going to release This high quality. They release it for free on their website. They become big. It kind of becomes big. And guess who fucking signs them? No such records whose owned by Time Warner. It's literally the same company hires them back Up. It goes to 13 on the Billboard. The next album they release Ghost is Born wins two Grammy awards. Ghost is Born sucks. Really? Because on Reddit, that's the one everybody loves. They think it's So. That's the one that put me off Wilco for a life. I'm trying to break your heart. Ghost is Born. Damn, Jones's documentary, the head of non such records for the first 30 seconds

[1:02:00]Of this song and signed them. He said, this is all I need to hear. I love it right here. I've never I've never done that handshake drugs, which is great. But the rest of it, I can't handle. I've never heard a little song until today. At least that I thought I was aware of Wilco. I mean, really, they kind of started as a folk band, right? I mean, they want to Grant me for best kind of country. Well, they formed out of Uncle Tupelo and Sun Volt, right? So they were like out of the old country kind of movement of the late 90s, I think. Now this album is like good songs that have buzzers and bells on either side of it, Right? Like that's what it is. Yeah. Listen to this. I mean, this is fun. And then you get to the end and guess what? It's fucking weird again. Yeah. It's a very pleasurable

[1:03:00]Song. And then it's like the beginning to the Wizard of Oz, Pink Floyd, what's that album? Dark Side? Yeah. Or Day in the Life. Like it feels like you're just putting some dark side Of the mood or you're right. Day in the Life. It's real beatlesy. Yes. I mean, so here's camera. Banger. It's great. Sounds great. Very enjoyable. But I had to sit There in my headphones and listen to like us tune in a radio to get to this song. And then I get to this and it's brilliant. By the way, camera what my kid wanted for Christmas? A digital camera. I was like, what are we doing? A digital camera. You've got to find that. He's like, all my friends have digital cameras. That's why the kids are going back to doing Captain Pose. They're just taking it to the basics. No, it's because you know what kids Want to do, Aaron? Spend your fucking money. Do you know how much a digital camera is? They're still like 300 bucks. I was like, are you serious? We're paying three hundred bucks.

[1:04:00]So you know what I did? I had my dad find a digital camera at her house. That was from like when this album came out and I gave that to my daughter and she's like, Oh, these cameras suck. I'm like, oh, yeah. Father of the Year Radio Cure. This song is rough. I had a hard time with this one. I think Jeff Tweedy has gone through some mental health Battles and like this song sounds like mental health battles. And it was hard to listen to The documentary too. This guy and the Bennett guy are big in time into drug addiction at this point. Okay, right. I mean, that's hard to listen to. Skip to like the second half. I don't know if the second half is any better or not. But better or more music with little bells with the urea. And that's the thing is there's so many parts of this that I think are like brilliant. Who do we compare this album to? Oh, it's

[1:05:00]Bad Radio, some of it. The Radiohead. That's what I thought. But I enjoyed this more than Radiohead. I will say that Beatles and Stones and then The other Radiohead. This is a song called War on War and War. You know what it would be if you think of Aaron? Oh, they have War in the Casino and we almost went and sat and played it this year. I kind of regret that we didn't try it. Have you ever done War in the Casino? Is it really a game? Like you just sit down and they get a seven and you get an eight and you win? Like it can't be. It was right there in the Casino Palace. That can't be it, right? I wish I had tried it. You have to be the fucking stupidest person in the world to sit there and play that game, Right? You'd have to, King. How much stupider could you be just gambling in general? The table was empty. I was like, we should go over there. And then what was it? It was like a $25 minimum. And we're like, what? I've not been $25 for me to get a three and you get a five and that's it. That's the game.

[1:06:00]Doesn't make any fucking sense. You know what we should do, Aaron? We should get a War app on our phone. So we'll be good at it next year. And then practice, Jesus, etc. Rolling Stones said this is the 67th best song of the 2000s. This is a great song. Great song. Yeah, I really like it. By far the most popular song according to genius was looked up the lyrics. This is the, this one I will always picture the Replacements guy singing out loud, singing Along and doing the tear down his face. Replacements guy loves this. I saw the, I saw these guys at rock the garden with him and he got so excited and drunk that he wandered Off in the middle of the concert. And we found him later walking down on 26th or something And stopped at little Tijuana's where he, I think he drew me a Batman on the Placement. As we get a little Tijuana's was, I think it was on Nicolette in 22nd, But maybe it was on Linda. I can't remember. I don't think we'll tease. Nobody likes it.

[1:07:00]It was the late night spot after shows. Crazy. Let's see. Ashes of American Flags. A lot of people think this is a, like a 9-11 Album because it came out after 9-11, but this was all actually written before. And they said, somebody said, Jeff Tweedy carried around a copy of the Tropic of Cancer with him for eight years. Is there a book that you could carry around for eight years? Yeah. The Art of War by Sun Tzu. That's kind of a small little one. You can put it like in your back pocket. Like the next Swiss sandwich, Rob. Yeah. I would probably pick the Kamasutra. Just carry that around and be like, Hey, what about this one? We're both sitting in a chair, but there's like a, I don't know. You guys don't want to get more into the Kamasutra? One guy who didn't get into the Kamasutra was back.

[1:08:00]But what he did get into was covering, one second, Was covering as part of one of his song reader projects. He covered an album by Skip Spence. The album was called OR. And a lot of those songs he actually covered with Wilco. So Rob hit the music. Back with Wilco, Vice and Jamie Liddell recording. They recorded the whole album by Skip Spence or So when it comes to covering Skip Spence with Wilco, who did it better? Beck did it better. I heard Beck in some of this album, didn't you guys? We really are lucky to do a podcast about Beck of all musicians. We'd be so fucked if we did like warrant. I mean, there's just not that much meat on the bone.

[1:09:00]You know what I mean? Like, I don't think it would have been over a long time ago. Yeah. Although they did make a good video. I gotta say, I did enjoy that video. Beck and Wilco performed Loser together at the Jones Beach Theater as part of a tour That tour also featured Bob Dylan. I don't know if we ever got to this. Did you guys ever see the Dylan movie or did we talk about this or not? A hundred percent. I loved it. And then he was on SNL and he was doing Bob Dylan songs As the musical guest as well. It was so good. Yeah. Did you end up seeing it or not? Haven't seen it yet. Nope. No, you guys should see it. It's very good. I enjoyed it very Much. You know me. I'm a cynical guy. Hate everything. I had priorities. Dog man, Had to watch dog. Dog man. I had to nap, take a nap through dog man. Heavy metal. Oh, my nephew, Henry, went and saw dog man for his birthday. That's what He was waiting to do for his birthday. But the real reason I bring him up, He's the one who's gotten big into cards. The other day he pulls some Jared Goff card, Which was like an insert. Him and my brother look it up. It's selling for like 700 bucks.

[1:10:00]They list a card. They listed a card on eBay, the first card they ever listed. My nephew, Henry sold the card for $325. Man, I was thinking about you guys. Very nice. It's the Pokemon. Ungraded in everything. Just ungraded in everything sold for $325 and they ship something like that. I would get so stressed out to like some sort of authenticator or something like that to prove It's a real card. But, yeah. So they sold a card and then my, we may be, maybe we, Maybe we'll have to see if we can do our live show at this. The river center At Excel has a huge card show in April. My brother sent me a thing. My nephew, My brother are coming down 450 tables of people selling cards at the river center. It would be in April. It'd be a bummer if you saw the Dudley boys walking in there. You'd be like, Oh, this is a disaster. Hey, Rob, get the tables.

[1:11:00]Listen, next up, heavy metal drummer. Hold up. Can we do one more thing? Yes, Please. If you were to hold up someone in the, what position was that with the Captain ankles up and I would come off the top rope right before I came off the Top rope with the head, butt to the balls. I'd go was, ah, my last thought would be Russell's hitting me with the captain position. Yes. I know because I've been Carrying around the conversation for eight years. Heavy metal drummer. I love this song. Yeah, this is the only Wilco song I know. You like my brother. Yeah, like this song. This is if they say this is the crowd Pleaser in their live show. Yeah. Is that actually like has a little bit of a beat? Talk about being a drummer. Great message. You know, talking about being a drummer, Like we haven't talked about this, but if we were in a band, what instrument would you want to play? Like drums, you'd want to be the drummer in the band. I'd want to be the drummer.

[1:12:00]I'd kind of want to be the lead guitar and singer. I know that might shock you guys That I would say that, but that's how I, I think that would be the most fun. Russell, my brother loves this song and he's the one who hit me to the fact that this song is talking About embracing the things that you love and not worrying about guilty pleasures. And here's this guy in this artsy rock band and he loves bands that plays kiss covers and Sincerely loves it. Yeah. Well, we know the Midwest has a lot of kiss cover bands. Russell Seen quite a few of, as he's been kind of moseying around. Des Moines. Yeah, we know. I'm the man that loves you. I had a revelation the other day and I want to ask you this and Russell, You can't answer this question. Okay. It's illegal for you to answer this question. Do not answer this question. You two, the other two. When's the last time you've taken off A bra? You've taken off a bra the last year? No way. Oh, yes. I haven't taken off a bra in like

[1:13:00]Five years. You've taken off a bra? Yeah, it's all, it's all part of it, Rob. It's all part of it. I don't know. Usually that's like, taking off the bra happens like two hours before Anything happens in our house. That bra is popped off almost immediately. Oh, I was over here With Nicole and she was back and I was playing video games or whatever. I think she was folding Clothes and I was playing video games. Isn't that Gen Z activity sex too? That's one of their Big kinks. Yeah. Yes. Jenny comes out topless because all of her shirts are out in the living Room. And I said, Jenny, what are you doing? Nicole's here. She goes, Oh, I know I'm topless Around Nicole all the time. Nicole's like, yeah, she is. I was like, what is happening? How is this possible? Guys, this is my life. Oh, and speaking of crazy things that my Partner does, we did have the party. Yeah. So yeah, for everyone, you had 10 people over

[1:14:00]To watch weightlifting on TV. Yeah. By the way, all of our windows, we, Jenny has ripped down All the shades off the windows. So it's super bright. So nobody could really see the TV. So we have one of the worst TV watching locations you could possibly have. So everybody was Miserable. And after treadmill, she's walking on the treadmill in front of all these people too. Well, we're trying to find places to sit like people are sitting on our bench press Two thirds of the way through. Jenny and I leave and go to the ballet. People stay. No, They don't. Yeah. Everybody stays. They're watching the weightlifting competition. That's insane. It was bizarre. It was crazy. And then when we came back, they'd put all The dishes like on the counter. I was like, well, that's not really. Oh, that's not Really in the sink. I thought that maybe they'd wash it, like put it away, but apparently not. So something to think about. Hot kettle black. How long were they there without you guys? I've been an hour. Maybe an hour and a half. Do you think they left like

[1:15:00]Two minutes afterwards or like this awkward, we should leave? Oh, after the Competition, no, they watched it. So you guys walked out. Do you think they got Up and left like immediately? No, I guarantee they watched. Look, I have pictures. People Took pictures of the competitions. I know they're there. Russell, this is what Powerlifters are like. They're crazy. I see this kind of stuff. I thought it was fun. I'm thinking to myself, oh, maybe I misjudged this album and then we get to poor places. It's fun. And then you get to reserve. But again, lots of beeping, lots of radio noise. Yeah. And then this one, reservations. I mean, guys, did you listen to this album on headphones? It's not freaking me out. I actually did not listen to it on vinyl, but I did. It was the first full album I listened to on my new Glacier 3 speaker.

[1:16:00]It's why? Now picture me at the gym listening to this album at the last minute, Trying to bench press. Crazy. A crazy album to try to bench press too. All right. Listen, let's get into the race. Especially while a nude person is squatting over. Right, Rob? Doing naked workouts. I can't, what would be the sexiest workout I could do? Planks? It's got to be something Where my legs are closed. Croquet? Probably that machine, the adductor machine. That's what I'd want to do, nude. Chest flies. Yeah. Okay, Russell, forget about it. Can you think of the accidents that could Happen with that? Be crazy. Listen, this is Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Okay, the motif is a radio. All right. Do we think this belongs all the way up at 225? Listen, people love Wilco.

[1:17:00]People fucking love Wilco. You go online and I don't think you can be a music person and Say you don't like Wilco. Everybody loves them. You know me? I'm a sucker for that. I've got a very small brain. I will do what people online tell me to do. Okay. That's why I've eaten so much cinnamon. Now. And turmeric. Yeah. I forgot you guys don't teach in middle School where kids would just be eating cinnamon and doing that. My favorite TikTok challenge is Where they would put their lips in a shot glass and get a vacuum seal. And then they Would come out and their lips were really big. Every single kid in middle school had bruises Around their lips for like three days after that. It was one of the funniest things I've Ever seen in my entire life. Made me laugh. Now, is this album belong at 225? Okay. Were any of us excited to listen to it? I don't know. If it belongs there, It would be a rolling well tone. And of course, there's no song clip for that. I didn't look Again. Or is this a rolling well, a rolling bone. It should have been higher up on the List instead of 225. Maybe it should have been 224. Maybe it should have been 223.

[1:18:00]Even Aaron, guess what? 232. No, not that one. Cause that's in the future. Not for us. Future Rob, that's your problem. Next up. No, we're not to that part. Or is This a rolling, okay. When we listen to this album, did we think this was as fun as the Dixie Chicks album or slightly less fun? That would be a rolling grown. We don't know. What Were you going to say? It's a big mystery. Aaron, what do you think rolling well tone, Rolling bone, rolling, grown? Wilco Hotel, Yankee Hotel, Foxtrot. I really wanted to like this album back in the day because Wilco was cool and it played at The Walker and it was cool. And I liked their album before this one. And I never actually Listened to this album in its entirety until this week. And I still like parts of it, But I'm going to give my, my past self a pass for not loving it because I don't Think I love it and I'm not sure it belongs this high. So I'm going to give it a rolling

[1:19:00]Grown. Aaron, what was the family's opinion of listening to this album? You know, they kind of didn't mind it. I mean, Anna knew a couple of the songs, So she was enjoying kind of the Blasch from a past vibe, but also Some songs would come on and people would be like, what the hell is this? Or the, The weird sounds would come on and someone say like, what are we listening to now? If the number one radio aficionado I know doesn't like this album, There's too much radio on it. It's too many radio noises. That's right. Russell. Yeah. Okay. I know when I say radio noises, you're thinking of, Of course, Cuba good in junior. Okay. But I'm talking about this album, Rolling well-toned, rolling bone or rolling grown. I thought I was not going to like this. And maybe it's cause I was doing other stuff while I was listening, But I actually really enjoyed it. Every time I noticed the strange stuff, But I was reading my instructions on the setup of my audio, Technical 120 Bluetooth record player. And so I wasn't really paying attention to all the music While I was listening. Every once in a while, I'd look up and I've been like,

[1:20:00]This is kind of strange or we're weird or I know I don't like this part of it, But I really enjoyed it. I can see why people are into it. I think I would come back and listen To it again and maybe listening to it too many times would turn me off with it, But I'm going to actually say it's rolling well-toned. I thought it was something Unique and different, enjoyable to listen to. And the parts that were strange, I'm sure I will not like the next time I had listened to it, but rolling well-toned, I enjoyed it. Matt, I am fascinated about what you're going to say. Willco rolling well-toned, Rolling bone or rolling grown. I had to take the notes. I would say that I'm a person who likes Music and I don't like Willco. I said that you can't like music and can't like But I, that's what the internet says. I got Boney Bear and I got Fish. I got these, These bands that everybody says that you should like and you should love this person. And this Is Willco for me. Like everybody you want to go to the Willco concert,

[1:21:00]You like Willco, all this. I've tried hundreds of times to get into Willco. A couple of times To get into Willco and I just can't get into them. I think they're, I don't know if it's Jeff Tweety and he's like really slow on how he does everything and it's really kind of like drawn Out. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out why I don't like them. Obviously I have a couple songs, But Willco is not for me. So I think this is rolling, groaned. Should be lower on the List. I mean, we're going to put it up against, the blue album. I'm listening to the blue Album all day around this. Now, are you going to put this one lower than the album we listened To last week, Fly or whatever, by the chicks? No, no, no. These were crazy two albums to be Listening to back. It was just, they were insane. They drove me, they drove my mind crazy. I have to say this, man, have you ever listened to the Mermaid Avenue albums? Yeah. I mean, I've tried to listen to all, I love those. I've been went through this one and I'm trying to listen to, trying to get into Willco. This is supposed to be cool to like

[1:22:00]Willco. Right. And I get it. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect. Shit. This gets a rolling tome York. This is the American radio head. This is the equivalent. There's got some bangers and there's some beeps and boops Everywhere. Insults of radio. We've got the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps with some of This music. That's the way it is. Yeah. Next up, we've got Derek and the pizza hut. Oh, sorry. I misread that. Excuse me. We've got Derek and the little Caesars. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. We've got Derek and the Casey's. Oh, now you're talking. Fourth largest pizza seller in the nation, by the way. Casey's. Wow. Oh no, it's Derek and the Papa Johns. That's probably the most accurate actually. Those are the two guys that would be together. We got Derek and the Domino's with Leila And other love songs. Who knows? Who was the one at 70's cream?

[1:23:00]Hey, just like Rob's cream salad dress. It's got booted off with this new weight loss Medicine. It's like, that got edited out. Guys, I got to go. I'm just going to turn off my video. My wife, sorry, but she wants to make love to me. So I'm just going to turn off my video. Yes. Yes, honey. I'm coming. Don't worry. Yes, I will do the odd job. Rob, you should have just played this theme song. This should be The loop over and over for like 10 minutes and see if people, see when people get to the end. It would get you hyped, don't you think? Just listening to that rustle, does that make You want to get a video game system? I was going to ask if you were going to take her on the level Where you're going to play proximity minds. And if she got close to you would explode. Oh my

[1:24:00]God. You know, the problem is Russell what she said to me? What's that? Hey, you got to make some lunch. If you want a sex, Scotty Pippin. I was trying to think what NBA player I'd want to have sex with the least. That's the one that came out.