Derek and the Dominos: Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs (1970)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by

[00:07]rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the

[00:13]order and led to us making this podcast we are far from experts and we promise to do almost no

[00:18]research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy

[00:23]we are up to album 226 and from 1970 we have leila and other assorted love songs which is

[00:33]the reverse of charcuterie board russell had on valentine's day what which was what was the sort

[00:39]it was which was assorted meets what matt might need to work in his comedic timing here

[00:44]i didn't know that was part of it i was like uh i was like uh i was like what's his name i just

[00:50]read whatever's in front of me say this joke again

[00:53]you

[00:53]right from here we have leila and other assorted love songs which is the reverse of charcuterie

[01:00]board of the charcuterie board russell had on valentine's day what was assorted meats

[01:06]which was assorted meats and he is trying to get laid uh i think that works it's that's good

[01:16]okay it meets and trying to get later that's that one in the joke hall of fame

[01:19]dude you're talking about you're talking about my valentine's day i'll just give you

[01:23]a warning

[01:24]aaron i aaron aaron had some canceled plans that sounds like the last night or two i had a

[01:30]canceled plane tonight which i'll tell you about later oh but also we were gonna go see the bob

[01:33]dylan movie for valentine's day yeah we bailed two two minutes too much ice on the roads roads

[01:40]are too icy we've reached a point in life where we're making smart decisions like why do we need

[01:46]to fucking drive in the snow wow if it's bad roads like we can just stay home and listen to bob dylan

[01:52]records

[01:53]actually tonight i will give the upstairs roommate props you guys know i've got my new record playing

[02:00]player up and running and i told you guys about a week ago then you get home i figured out the

[02:04]toner arm aaron i lied that night i did not have the toner i figured out it turns out people for

[02:09]the toner arm there are two dials on the toner that's a wild thing to lie about but when you

[02:14]look at the when you look at the the directions it makes it look like there's one dial there's

[02:21]not there oh yeah you gotta set the one to zero

[02:23]and then turn the other one right iron these fuckers they they make it look like it's so easy

[02:29]and so i figured i'm like i i'm like oh this is sounded so good and it's like super scratchy and

[02:33]shit and upstairs roommates like this is this can't be what it sounds like no i think this is

[02:38]what like having a good record playing no i was dead wrong yeah so tonight we listened to two

[02:42]records both picked out by the upstairs roommate one was a new purchase fly by the chicks she got

[02:49]me by the chicks when she heard our episode that's gotta be fun it's gonna be fun it's gonna be fun

[02:53]is it is it two sides or is it four it's four but yeah some people in this house decide they're

[02:59]gonna play them in backwards order which i made a comment about aaron oh my god i bet your wife

[03:03]chaos reigns you probably know people people put a lot of thought into the ab ordering cd of the

[03:11]album and the ordering of the album they have to uh yeah can i can i just say this i love you guys

[03:17]but this record player talk is so boring to me oh my god when i edited it i was so sorry that we're

[03:23]boring how can i take out any of this terribly sorry i want to get back to my charcuterie boards

[03:28]joke i think that was really good so then we put on another record we put on uh david bowie uh space

[03:35]invaders from mars or whatever oh yeah amazing one so then i get a text from a buddy and i'm like

[03:41]you know what i've had a few drinks i'm drunk dialing this buddy so i pulled i don't know if

[03:46]you guys ever pull this he does the text like kind of like hey we should get a beer in the

[03:53]i'm floating it out there you called him on a shit i fucking drunk dialed his ass right away

[03:58]yeah it's about four rings i can imagine him sitting there going like god oh i did not sign

[04:05]up for this oh he picks up we talked for a while guess what i do what i invite him to fucking brunch

[04:11]tomorrow i'm like come meet us for brunch there's no time like the present and immediately he's like

[04:16]oh yeah what do you got going on you guys know what it's like though like when people when you're

[04:23]kind of having been in haun right like yeah man if i said hey let's go get brunch tomorrow you're

[04:27]like i i gotta do pokemon cards we're getting old man i'll find i can find a really good reason

[04:33]on a drop of a hat to not go hang out with anybody yep but when but you're not used to

[04:39]getting like the call and just someone putting it on you within like five seconds are you

[04:43]he thought he was being a good friend and i flipped it on him man i flipped it on him

[04:48]sorry is he coming to brunch is it happening i don't know yet we'll find out russell the

[04:53]easiest one is kids oh i got kids stuff tomorrow you know he doesn't have an excuse like that

[04:58]yep and you better see him at brunch he better be buying flapjacks let me ask you this russell

[05:04]if he declines are you going to take it personally i told him actually on the call you guys will

[05:10]appreciate this this is who i am i said look you should come with us it'll be fun and if you don't

[05:15]come i don't give a shit and so i gave him the easy out because i am always worried if someone

[05:21]invites me and i don't go that they're gonna

[05:23]like that it's a thing but i don't think it's a thing to anyone i don't think people give a shit

[05:28]you're a true gentleman and so i went out of my way to say like just very straightforward if you

[05:33]don't show up i don't really care so he's got an easy out but here's here's right i came over the

[05:39]top over the top on him yeah yeah after i talked to him on the phone i sent him a text yeah i said

[05:45]we have a reservation for x people at x time tomorrow i expect you to be there and i got a

[05:53]does that mean he'll be there or no yeah he needs to be there the chance of him getting sick tonight

[05:59]russell very high i would say there's a hundred percent chance he's gonna come down with something

[06:02]i've had two experiences like this recently in fact the last night that we were recording two

[06:06]weeks ago i started getting some texts from rusty from hayward wisconsin rusty you guys know he was

[06:13]at he was in green bay saints liars and saints he was in green bay at an atmosphere show and

[06:19]sage francis was there too and he was like hey i remember it's just a 10 letter word

[06:23]yes i'll be quiet keep going keep going and he was like you know send me some videos because

[06:29]he knows i was a big atmosphere guy back in the day and i didn't respond to him

[06:31]i'm part of the mesosphere it's the largest portion of the atmosphere

[06:42]my hole has been plugged thank you guys and i didn't respond no longer have a big hole

[06:49]i didn't watch the videos until

[06:53]saturday morning and then i responded and said hey that was really cool thanks for sending

[06:56]and he writes right back and he was like hey i'm just sitting here having coffee do you want to

[07:00]you want to talk on the phone and i'm like he didn't wrestle he did the thing and i was like

[07:05]baller fuck yeah let's talk on the phone he's like do you want to facetime i was like yeah

[07:09]let's facetime i was having coffee too yeah it was fun as shit yeah i haven't seen him like i

[07:14]haven't seen him for 20 years and i was like yeah dude let's have a facetime call you know what erin

[07:18]would hear on the phone if he called me on the phone you hear this you hear a big bottle of pills

[07:22]getting ready

[07:23]and then me just eating it be like oh yeah i'd love to talk to you oh no wait i'm coming down

[07:27]with something is your insurance covering that would go be yet don't even get me fucking started

[07:30]i'm gonna say stuff that it needs to be edited i swear to god let's just say i'm agreeing with

[07:36]some people right now erin i would never text and just say hey you want to talk on the phone

[07:42]or whatever i would just call you well right don't you just call i guess yeah i mean he was

[07:46]like hey you're already texting you know that you know you're i got my phone in my hands that's

[07:53]and then the same thing happened today wallace and i had a little play date to play some yugioh

[07:59]because on tuesday a friend of ours was like hey wallace was talking to my son about playing yugioh

[08:04]would you guys ever want to play and i was like yeah that sounds fun we should do that sometime

[08:07]and he's like do you want to play this saturday and i want to do it now yeah let's do it no but

[08:14]we went to games of berkeley last night we hooked up some yugioh a yugioh starter set we like went

[08:18]over and did the whole thing and man no time like the present guys you got to seize the moment it's

[08:23]people people flipping it on you and being like hey we should do something down the road and then

[08:27]being like you know what we should do it now that and you don't regret it on the other you go like

[08:31]yeah you on the other side you are put under the gun and you gotta be like god dang like it's either

[08:36]happening or it's not happening and if it doesn't it's on me right yes i mean we're old enough now

[08:43]i mean you guys are way older than i am but we're old enough now if you say hey let's hang out we

[08:48]should get a beer sometime that's not happening it's just not happening you either have to your

[08:52]point russell you'd have to say let's go now or or you have to say like okay how about next tuesday

[08:59]how about a week from now you have to put it on that had to pick tuesday on that one rob

[09:03]yeah respect to the people who put it put their chips on the table putting on the calendar love

[09:10]it i i'm guys listen i love i love going out to do stuff with people we had ike sent you a picture

[09:16]of somebody from saint olaf that came out we had a spontaneous brush amazing oh morning okay but guess what

[09:22]as soon as my wife told me that this was planned for me i was very mad okay i was furious so rob

[09:28]what's the ideal amount of time if you're gonna have plans with someone like do you want three

[09:33]and a half weeks because you don't want to schedule six months out but you don't want to

[09:37]schedule you don't want to do this weekend with no notice what what's the proper amount of notice

[09:42]to go out with friends two days three days

[09:45]let's do i don't want to be thinking about it i don't want to be thinking about it all week i don't

[09:52]want to have

[09:52]another calendar i want to know like two days out maximum like i'll ask jenny on like a thursday

[09:57]what's our plan this weekend what are we doing that's where i find it out okay then i'm down

[10:02]with it it's better than the day up but i can't be listening to that the weekend before are you

[10:05]sure you're not doing that when you're just trying to pick a fight when you're like let's what's our

[10:08]plan because i because i want to get mad about it first of all i would never pick a fight okay

[10:13]that's crazy that's not who i am okay but second of all we are having a state of the union uh

[10:19]meeting here on the podcast pretty soon because i have i have some

[10:22]things that i think need to be brought up what number one oh okay let's get him out okay no time

[10:27]let's do it right now number one please welcome the speaker of the house and his accountability

[10:37]buddy mike johnson yes my account would be bully buddy right now would be that's who i would be

[10:43]calling to have brunch with i can tell you that and a blue gate saturday morning i'm gonna order

[10:47]a blue gateway don't ask me why here's the thing i think there's a huge delay between

[10:52]aaron and i on zoom because i have noticed okay i don't want to say anything but there's a number

[10:56]of times where i will tell a joke and nobody will go with it okay but then there's also a number of

[11:01]times where other people are telling a joke yeah is this over this is it and then people where i'm

[11:06]saying a joke is this the part where matt and i are supposed to stand and clap people yes this is

[11:11]the part we're supposed to be saluting right now president biden starts yelling part of it or not

[11:16]i have just noticed that there must be a big delay because sometimes when i start telling a joke and

[11:21]the joke is going for quite some time people will jump in and say things okay and those people aren't

[11:26]me so the thing is is that i would like to have uh more attention on you more attention on me i

[11:32]think that's where i think that's where we're going right now so this is not the state of a

[11:35]union this is the state of rob's confidence no i but see then the problem is is that i listen back

[11:42]and i like all the stuff you guys are doing but i'm not listening to it at the time because i'm

[11:46]thinking about how i was interrupted so that's what i'm working on okay is that when you guys interrupt me

[11:51]i'm gonna listen to you okay so from now on that's my vow to you all right we appreciate that now as

[11:59]you guys can tell part of the reason i would even say such a more coming is that i am i am so sick

[12:04]tonight okay i am just crazy sick my i was like i was this sick i was like this apartment's freezing

[12:09]and my kid was like it's not cold in here at all oh no shit and i was like you know what i better do

[12:15]i better go take a 45 minute hot bath that's gonna make me feel better and not throw off my internal

[12:21]all night okay so i am shivering i feel like garbage my throat okay is sore no matter how

[12:28]many quick quick episode so this is your flu game like it this is rob it's for sure it's a hundred

[12:33]percent gonna be my flu game actually he clarified he clarified on the last dance it was it was not

[12:41]the flu game it was the food poisoning yes the food poisoning game yeah he claims the pizza

[12:45]place like can you kind of imply that the pizza place got him sick on purpose i disagree i said i

[12:51]didn't think he implied that they poisoned the pizza in utah yeah well that was flu for sure

[12:55]i can't imagine but i will say this guys i don't think he shadows pants one time that game

[13:00]that's what i'm talking about i'm sorry rob rob i'm so sorry what i'm talking about right there

[13:05]i'm listening rob i'm listening here's the deal okay i'm gonna have a little light go off in my

[13:10]background when that happens i thought i you know what though i will say earlier you said you were

[13:14]doing it when you were telling jokes and i i'm not really well i was just because i was thinking

[13:19]to myself what is

[13:21]would there be a worse sport to play when you have food poisoning and just the die die like crazy

[13:26]than basketball oh like listen best horrible swimming no problem hey guess what no problem

[13:33]maybe even get me going faster i'm fine worst i think is basketball right because you're jumping

[13:39]you're stopping you're changing directions yeah you're in your defensive stance not good all right

[13:44]let's get right into let's go turn on the radio guys i'm sorry the only reason i lashed out is

[13:49]because i was in uh

[13:50]i'm sick lee so please don't take any words i think i honestly think russell didn't you think

[13:55]that fly episode was one of our best we've done in a long time i thought i told you i thought it

[14:00]was top 10 and matt i think you you had um some of our listeners who texted and said they really

[14:04]enjoyed the the chicks episode yeah what was the didn't somebody on the text chain say it was not

[14:10]good or something why there's a counter argument what was well we i think neil from lakeville is

[14:15]just not going to fall in line with any country music or country adjacent music but that's

[14:20]that's okay that you know he's consistent can i tell you we did get a distraught voicemail from

[14:25]one of our listeners about that album but we're not we're gonna wait till next week to play that

[14:29]but it's no it's something play it now what do you mean play it now voicemail i have is more time

[14:33]sensitive no no playing ball we got we got it's a single episode now we can go oh my god you guys

[14:39]oh no no it's fine okay well we can do our intros first because maybe some of us have fun

[14:46]yeah who the hell's on this podcast oh i i okay after we come back we're going to do our intro

[14:50]i'm going to come back from this song i'm going to tell you about how i am not sleeping in my

[14:53]bedroom currently oh all right so let's get started and by the way russell i'm just going

[14:57]to apologize in advance for this song oh what's up everybody welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b this week

[15:05]for valentine's we're only playing love songs so get with the person you love hold their hands

[15:12]and then get upside down and get on the bottom oh yeah you know the rules oh god it's valentine's

[15:20]time yes i know it might not be appealing

[15:25]i'm high energy in this song i need your face under my thigh oh yes

[15:36]this guy on top 69

[15:40]i'll lie down and lower myself on top of you

[15:46]oh my god i'm so specific

[15:48]oh

[15:50]or i guess we break their 69 and we spin till you're on your back

[15:54]i mean we need to build a swing

[16:00]oh maybe we need scaffolding oh yes i can't remember how we did this last year

[16:10]i'll go find the videotape

[16:14]all right

[16:15]when you want to hear about the greatest

[16:19]again

[16:19]aaron you get a videotape to your door it says rob sex tape valentine's day art on your side

[16:24]you put that in your uh yeah watching it watching the bcr you're watching that

[16:29]thanks aaron i appreciate that i could learn it'll be like i'm sure it'll be like i'm sure

[16:38]another person's gonna come into any moment here that's gonna be rob just staring deep

[16:42]into rob's asshole listen listen i've got aaron what the hell he has to say it it's contractually

[16:49]obligated uh listen i've got three guys here okay who if leila put them on their knees they would need

[16:57]some help getting back up the world is out uh i've got matt in minneapolis man how are you doing

[17:02]good rob if i could choose the place to die it would be in your arms oh wow that's so good

[17:09]i would probably do it at uh this guy who used to bully me in high school i'd probably do it

[17:17]place of work a bug in my butt

[17:19]you know what i mean who's this guy what's his name i can't remember his name but he used to

[17:25]bully me on the bus all the time but if i showed up and then just died right at the uh denny's or

[17:29]everywhere he worked god that'd be good they'd have to drag me oh just my last i would be like

[17:34]fuck you a strong move guys i'm in a negative mood today i gotta get myself out of it i've

[17:38]got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing get me out of this negative mood russell

[17:41]rob have you ever a flexible woman with brain damage so much you tremble in pain

[17:46]oh

[17:47]i guess that is that we are going to be

[17:54]russell's over here

[18:05]in the beginning song you're talking about lowering myself down and he's like oh come on

[18:10]oh geez

[18:11]first of all that song

[18:16]is biographical for me but i've every part any part where anybody would know about that has

[18:21]been bleeped out of this show a million times over oh sorry it's been like bleeped bleach tossed

[18:26]burned it's out of there russell i can repeat it if you want oh please don't you need a clean

[18:33]sample oh goodness gracious oh hey rob okay well that makes me not feel so bad what i'm about to

[18:40]say about aaron oh god uh listen i've got aaron and he was telling me on valentine's day he felt

[18:45]like a child left behind

[18:46]oh my god

[18:46]what is the bush got him acting so stupid uh

[18:49]that one is for all my teacher friends out there that is wild rob do you want to see me crawl across

[18:59]the floor to you do you want to hear me beg you to take me back wow i'm glad to do it let's talk

[19:05]about derrick and the dominoes listen today we've got a special treat just for russell we've got two

[19:10]voicemails and guess what it's two and two it's not a big deal can we do can we do like a two and

[19:15]two yeah two what's that two called uh that was love connection with chuck woolery russell you

[19:19]should look up what he's been up to chuck woolery's been up to lately it's very cool the first time

[19:23]you've made a what's chuck woolery up to lately well i just joke you my my son in covet 19 had a

[19:29]good time on their first date if you want to go for a second one we will pay for it all right that

[19:34]was from two and two that was from love connection yeah you guys again i'm thinking i'm finding that

[19:38]i watch way more tv than you guys okay uh here let's get hosted no that's that's remote control

[19:45]i think that's singled out yeah i was thinking of singled out that was singled out with jenny

[19:50]mccarthy right yeah i was thinking of that now i like a lot of her later stuff i don't know what

[19:54]it is about these people yeah uh all right let's get started hey boys it's krista from minneapolis

[20:04]calling um i have a question for you and it is what song do you hear that is a great song but

[20:14]you simply cannot listen to it what song do you hear that is a great song but you simply cannot

[20:15]listen to it what song do you hear that is a great song but you simply cannot listen to it

[20:15]anymore because it brings up bad memories for you i will tell you mine because you triggered it on

[20:25]the chicks episode um i have told you the story before of the person that i dated that wore a free

[20:33]breathalyzer blow here t-shirt well our song as naive high school students was how do i live

[20:45]and i can't listen to the song like i was so irritated listening to that episode because

[20:50]no i was so dumb when i dated that person yeah and um

[20:56]so that is the song that i cannot listen to and please don't play it again

[21:02]if this if this isn't looped for like the last 12 minutes at the end of this episode

[21:10]this is not of course leanne rhymes this is trisha yearwood okay so this is a totally

[21:15]above board totally we are not doing exactly what the our listeners asked us not to do

[21:21]so rob here's the deal they released the song on this same day in 97 it's crazy that's so crazy i

[21:27]i still was i you know do you know that both of them were up for the emmy a gram yeah i believe

[21:33]it's a grammy yeah they're both up for a grammy did you know that i literally had this discussion

[21:39]with my wife we had rhymes perform i'm sorry rob they have performed at the grammys while

[21:44]right before they're gonna give out this award and she doesn't win the award they give it to

[21:50]trisha yearwood russell understands they give it to them would anybody be mad if this is just playing

[21:55]in the background until yes one of our biggest listeners would be furious she made that very

[21:59]clear kirsty from minneapolis i mean i mean us oh let's well would anybody have a so the question

[22:05]is a formerly great song that you can no longer listen to yeah i don't have this i know i know

[22:10]everybody seems to have i can't think of one that yeah i think you can i think you

[22:14]can probably always find a way to still enjoy the song even if it brings up i you know what

[22:19]you know what would bring me to my knees though is oar crazy game of poker because that just feels

[22:24]like a ghost chasing us that feels like we listen to that so much our senior or juniors of college

[22:30]that'd be tough for me to really go 318 listening at a football house this is the old kenya shotgun

[22:37]seven beers during the song yeah it just that just feels like too much wait you know i i told you guys

[22:43]i think a few weeks ago we're looking at doing red rocks and this is one of our three options

[22:47]this summer we are at red rocks yeah wow what was what is it you said earlier this is the old now

[22:54]now first of all when you say stuff like that i kind of assume i'm going to know what you're

[22:57]talking about this is the old shotgun seven beers during this song this song is eight minutes and 42

[23:02]seconds long this was the this was the deal when we were in college this was a this this is probably

[23:07]a top 20 played on my win amp yeah that's what's happening i haven't heard this song probably 15

[23:12]years i gotta it's amazing and actually this whole album is very good there's a number of good songs

[23:18]by oar of a revolution i believe if you give them the long name right yeah but um yeah we we used to

[23:24]play this all the time but the the game the like the uh what do you call this like uh what do you

[23:30]call that aaron like alcoholism no no no no no but like it's like the story behind the song

[23:37]the the legend oh like song explorer or song you're supposed to be able to shot see if you

[23:42]can shotgun seven years no wait what how where did that come from you just started acting like

[23:47]that's like google prime and nocta okay all right that was the legend i don't know if you called a

[23:54]legend but that i don't know what song shotgun seven beers so this is not just a thing you made

[23:59]up russell because this sounds like no no russell express i feel like lars from decora could have

[24:03]done it and maybe brian from lake city but we don't know that many others who could have hung

[24:07]hung with that brian from uh east saint paul yeah all right i'm gonna say

[24:12]crazy game of poker poker shotgun seven beers i don't see anything about it well that's because

[24:20]we lived in the pre-internet era wow this is this is truly a remnant of it i'm gonna call you

[24:26]tomorrow morning i'm gonna be like hey let's shotgun seven beers in this song right now

[24:30]right now i would die uh i would die i'll tell you the one song i was i was trying to think of

[24:36]like a romantic reason to not like a song or something like that but the one song i cannot

[24:40]listen to is shotgun seven beers i don't see anything about it i don't see anything about it

[24:42]is that uh the green day song i hope you had the time of your life okay yeah fucking hockey house

[24:47]played that at the end of the night and they every single every single night they played that at the

[24:53]end did they really yeah and so that's the one that gets me i never seen uh never made it to

[24:59]brandon from lakeville singing this i can just you know see him doing it so yeah

[25:04]i i turn this one every time this great album but i this it's kind of like a purple rain great album

[25:11]but i turn it every time this song yeah aaron you got a song that you just can't that gives you bad

[25:16]juju when you're listening to it well none of them can be bad juju but i was saying the oar i couldn't

[25:21]really i don't think i could handle that emotionally and then probably sir mclaughlin

[25:25]that will remember you sir how does that come up on our text chain today but i think russell hasn't

[25:29]gone yet manny from south st paul not east st paul but south st paul wrote it up this song

[25:37]so so aaron let me get this straight for a second because i want to point this out the song that

[25:40]you're picking is the song that you're picking is the song that you're picking is the song that

[25:41]is this song yeah who the hell wants to listen to this why would you want to listen to this like

[25:47]oh just so i can like have a good cry no i mean i'm good kyle mclaughlin would yeah

[25:52]hey this is about my sister is this this is not the one with the dogs it is that's the other thing

[25:58]is this from the dog video yeah i don't need it it's too much it's too harsh too

[26:01]too many emotions don't get me wrong it's a great song but i don't need it in my life

[26:06]you know what it is for me okay first of all russell texas

[26:11]russell texted me his song by the way

[26:14]oh hold on in the arms of the angel that's the dog song we go this is like well once every 100

[26:22]episodes we go through this the arms of the angel that's the dog i like that one but but in the arms

[26:27]of an angel oof like these are great songs but like who sets out to say like i'm gonna make the

[26:33]saddest songs possible for everyone mclaughlin does cry come on i get why erin would have an

[26:39]issue with this after that you know i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[26:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[26:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[26:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[26:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[27:11]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[27:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[28:09]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[28:11]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone

[28:41]i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone.

[29:11]so i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone i'm gonna make the saddest songs possible for everyone.

[29:41]and that didn't work out either can i just tell you russell this one i think is a great choice this is a crazy mix cd with this one russell can we get a list of the top 10 songs you put on the burn cd for the upstairs i just want to know i just know which ones aren't you want to go to brunch tomorrow or not if not i've got a great song that you i just heard on the radio earlier that you could put on that mixtape if you want i mean this was this

[30:11]was a pretty big song at the time but this was one where i don't know if i could do it anymore

[30:15]is that matthew mcconaughey in the video listen we cannot get stuck watching this big and rich video

[30:23]but i will say this that's big that's big i love big and rich i love big and rich i love this era

[30:28]of country music videos because it gave me a whole new channel to jack off to at this point because

[30:33]at some point cmt every once in a while you just see garth's big you know large pizza size face

[30:41]green though his videos were always him like in a barn playing the guitar with the rain coming down

[30:45]on the glass now you would have big and rich all of a sudden they're like you know what we should

[30:49]do have a bunch of attractive women walking down a bridge with these two guys in front it's perfect

[30:54]we're back to that aerosmith philosophy i thought you were waiting for the any man in mind video

[30:57]that's an hour or whatever gosh any man i honestly don't know if that one's

[31:02]sexy we might have to do a full we might have to do a full view

[31:05]all right cool can you guys sing can you sing the whole thing uh

[31:11]probably yeah i can't do that one two three four we should talk you gotta be careful with

[31:16]shania twain if you guys go to nashville there are certain songs they will not do shania twain

[31:22]unless you pay him 100 bucks oh really are you serious they've done them they've done

[31:27]little songs and shania pearl jam is going to be in nashville end of april so i'll be there

[31:33]end of april can i just say this guys listen this is our video breakdown oh yes everyone

[31:41]video breakdown

[31:48]how stupid that is all right here we go any man of mine if you want to watch it with us just go

[31:54]and push play in now

[31:56]trotted cattle right off the bat this their their last week

[32:02]yeah man she is absolutely gorgeous in this video

[32:11]shania twain this was an absolute like a little bit hey it might shock you guys that

[32:17]pre-teen rob loved the shania twain see i wasn't wrong i wasn't from heaven

[32:24]although i gotta say i don't know if my wife and i was wearing a jean jacket vest like she was

[32:31]earlier i don't know if i would be well never mind it's the greatest thing i've ever seen

[32:36]changed my mind jean jacket vest short white crop top sign me up

[32:41]okay

[32:42]look at this belt she's got

[32:46]she has a santa claus belt look at the size of her fucking belt it's santa's size

[32:51]yeah it looks like she won

[32:53]who got some fiddle going here this video that would give you the impression that she is canadian

[33:01]right

[33:02]she's got a denim on top denim she's got a canadian tuxedo yeah i didn't know she does

[33:10]look kind of cold in there

[33:11]she looks like she's freezing and maybe we'll get to it but you know at the uh grammys not the

[33:18]emmys did you guys realize that kendrick was wearing a canadian tuxedo just another dig

[33:24]just another dig at fucking drake just hilarious that guy is hilarious over the top or a canadian

[33:31]tuxedo she's down a bubble bath

[33:34]and when i'm cooking dinner and i'm burning like you better say

[33:39]i like it like that

[33:41]what's the horse doing the horse is taking her clothes off the

[33:48]is this like elizabeth or who's the queen that did it with horses katherine

[33:54]what erin what did we talk about thank goodness you're here because i wanted to talk about that

[33:59]too let's get into it that was the rumor yes one of the worst rumors they have spread about

[34:06]you of all time the fact that it's like hundreds of years later and we're like oh my god i'm not

[34:09]like isn't that the queen that sent you the horse yeah yeah that's the one just a terrible yeah

[34:13]katherine the great i mean whatever who knows look at i don't know yeah i don't ask about it

[34:18]every time i go to versailles hey what about katherine the great we talked to you yesterday

[34:23]oh look at this she can go day tonight she can go canadian tuxedo to a little black dress

[34:28]did she straight out of this table did she have other hits on this album if not it's

[34:34]kind of it's it's the whole album all right let's look

[34:39]at the whole album any man

[34:40]he changed that was around is that around the part of the song where there's a backup singer

[34:49]it's from her it's from the woman in me now that's a i saw that on bing the other night but

[34:55]it's different um let's see paul ain't where his heart is anymore any man of mine whose bed has

[35:02]been under oh that's a good one classic uh the woman in need needs a man in you and that's it

[35:09]god bless this child so it doesn't have her mega hits but she did god bless the child on there i'm

[35:14]not sure i could stomach that maybe it's a sexy video like this one make her a shake

[35:21]i cannot tell you how many times girls come on over is number 300 by the way

[35:27]that's our only shania twin i'll be fun oh there's a shine i'm on the list

[35:31]that's the other one guys i cannot tell you how many high school girls avoided eye contact with

[35:38]me to this

[35:39]song in 1998 they all knew because they knew if they made eye contact with me

[35:43]it was a question of whether it was going to be a bump or a grind

[35:48]would you go over and be like rob would you like to dance no no if they looked at me it was

[35:54]automatically bump and grind time it didn't matter that i had to see you the next monday in math

[35:58]class like two rows up we were bumping and grinding okay until your friends say oh come with me to the

[36:03]bathroom which i now realize what they're really doing okay trying to get away from not trying to

[36:09]get away that's not what i said it's not trying to get away from me didn't we have a second

[36:12]voicemail no what the hell is even happening let's get let's get into rolling going we will do our

[36:20]we're already at 45 minutes i'm on it i'm literally about to pass out yeah

[36:29]not figuratively take some of these bad boys all right oh they want my cholesterol to go down

[36:38]slowly i'm not going to do that i'm going to do it i'm going to do it i'm going to do it

[36:39]i don't think so i figured this shit out uh let's get into rolling going aaron rolling going how's

[36:44]it going with you it's rolling going good uh quick break is my sound okay to you guys you

[36:48]guys are breaking up a bit for me but my you're doing this at 40 minutes in yeah great uh so two

[36:55]things one uh just my reaction though why you didn't laugh at a lot of my jokes my reaction

[37:00]to the beginning of this podcast you're breaking up worst queen this is going to be an admission

[37:09]makes to rob at like episode 501 i didn't hear anything for 12 and a half years i make sense

[37:15]the um so i mean i don't want to get too maudlin but you know there are times i really miss my dad

[37:21]one is that one of our listeners had a new baby uh well i actually don't know if his wife listens

[37:26]but one of our greatest listeners wife had a new baby on saturday was it saturday wow nope it was

[37:33]thursday they had the baby thursday uh really missed my dad that day also when i heard rob's

[37:38]song today i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die

[37:39]i was like god i really wish my dad could have heard this so i don't know two two sides of the

[37:45]of a coin but he would have he would absolutely love that one um now aaron if you want me to send

[37:50]you a usb drive okay that you can take and place at his grave with the 69 upside down song in it

[37:58]i will do that let's get a little macabre is that the right word listen if it was my grave

[38:03]i'm gonna have a usb thing in my gravestone with a tv up there he would have left me

[38:09]a voicemail about that one no no doubt he would be like rob rob's sick but he's kind of funny

[38:13]uh but i did also just want to share i i was a little bit late tonight because i had to run

[38:18]back down to the garage to get my props for the evening i am sure that our listeners all right

[38:24]oh let's hear it i'm sure that our listeners are tired of hearing las vegas content from us

[38:29]but i had so much fun this year uh playing craps in las vegas learning craps from rob

[38:35]i keep thinking about it and i've been doing some workouts lately where i have to roll dice

[38:38]to choose how many sets and reps i'm gonna do and i was like i've been using siri like hey

[38:44]roll a die and then it says like it's a two and you're gonna go that's fine and i was like no

[38:49]i can't do this anymore i need to get some real dice and so this is dumb because i was just there

[38:55]and i didn't buy any i was there but on i found you can on amazon you can choose from any number

[39:00]of casinos casino use dice so i had to get the flamingo our most recent our most recent trip and

[39:08]i was thinking about the link but the link did not say viva las vegas so i had to get i had to

[39:13]get the flamingo set and then on the other die it says that's way that's way more baller than yeah

[39:20]yeah so i'm so excited i just keep them in the they come in a little like this these dice were

[39:25]used in this lovely casino and i keep it in there and i roll them when i'm doing my workouts and

[39:29]sometimes i just grab and hang on to them when i want to think about you guys aaron can you smell

[39:33]those real quick do they smell like uh uh camel crushes by any chance i just a little yeah i think

[39:38]you might have used these yeah i'm pretty sure aaron what's your uh address rob's got some other

[39:44]dice well i did i did look up aaron because as soon as you said dice i always think about

[39:50]sex dice man you've had sex dice before right i think every couple's had sex i've never even

[39:55]heard of this concept oh never heard of this concept sex dice is a great way to stop using

[40:00]sex dice there's nobody i mean look at these dice right here sexy dice game for couples

[40:04]funny intimate adult dice game with 12 sided positions guys 12 you

[40:08]could be rolling this all night it's crazy unique brush night so look at this this one just says

[40:13]okay the three we can see you choose suck and kiss and this one down here says inner thigh

[40:19]fingers and then ass you see where you could get in trouble here uh pretty quickly yeah you're

[40:23]sucking ass let's go to the one let's go to the one star okay let's go to the one star

[40:27]we want to know what the one star reviews okay the one star review says got stuck nine percent

[40:32]of them are one uh there are numbers all over the dice just there are numbers all over the dice just

[40:38]numbers in no order what are they for these i'd be used for two of the dice i think are

[40:43]behind to be used together the other show two positions with a random number is that time

[40:47]makes no damn sense going to return first of all don't return that shit don't return your sex dice

[40:53]nobody wants to get that return can i get this slightly used that's one of those where amazon

[40:58]will say can we just give you a dollar back and you keep it that's like yeah we got to go to ebay

[41:04]and see if there's any sex dice for sale sex dice yeah there's a lot

[41:08]this one just says suck lips whoa this this one has thighs and ears on it at the same time if i

[41:14]got ears i'd be so mad uh let's look at one more uh one star review are they durable and long-lasting

[41:22]who would ask that question uh let's see what you're doing oh no my ten dollars sex dice they

[41:31]uh they wore out i'm gonna have to get a terrible news sex dice broke oh well how are we gonna know

[41:37]what to do anymore

[41:38]we're not just gonna do the same three things for the last 20 years of our marriage that's crazy

[41:42]watching rob navigate these comments is just like mind-boggling he's like scrolling all over

[41:48]like how did like your kids don't watch you scroll the web like this do they this is i do

[41:52]have a thing where i click on words when i'm reading them like this i'll highlight it and

[41:56]i'll read it roll it up and down and it drives people crazy it drives people absolutely insane

[42:00]when i'm doing it okay i read the reviews and i was excited to purchase it we relieve the package

[42:03]it was literally just the case no dice i gotta say that was no dice you're

[42:08]ready to have no with dice you ready to be told what to do uh the dice have spoken you guys nothing

[42:16]nothing for you guys this last one this last one is just titled slimy and illegible slimy why are

[42:25]they slimy yeah where the dice excuse me excuse me the joke was supposed to be the slimy not how i

[42:30]said illegible all right pictograms are illegible they are blobs you need glasses to see them even

[42:37]if you have 2020.

[42:38]seemingly they looked used and dirty and you can't return them there goes 15 down the toilet

[42:44]oh wow people are not enjoying the sexy dice the upstairs roommate and i've had some like

[42:49]um card games where you ask questions and it's like a conversation starter and

[42:54]we did have one of them that got like where they was asking like too serious of questions and i was

[42:58]like i we gotta get rid of these like i can't handle these serious questions i can hardly read

[43:03]these pictograms they're blobs uh that's how it's really going with me how's it you know that would

[43:08]be fun to do that's how it's really going with me how's it going with me that would be fun to do

[43:08]funny russell that would be funny if it was sex dice or serious question dice and it was like

[43:12]having ass so it was either like get blown or like what's some childhood trauma that you don't think

[43:18]you're like oh i hope i get blown what suck suck balls you know what i mean or what's the

[43:30]worst emotional pain you've ever experienced look at my balls sucked okay that's four so we need to

[43:38]two more russell okay so i'm gonna go with their 12-sided die yeah i'm gonna go with eat lips oh

[43:45]i'm terrible this is why i got fired from the last sex dice place eat lips

[43:50]i was wondering who's the person who's working at shipping and handling at the flamingo that's

[43:56]like god damn this is the first pair of dice we've nailed out in like 42 years

[44:00]how somebody finally bought one of these like cars occasionally but dice

[44:07]that's so funny that you made because it's got to be somebody's like hey you know that thing that

[44:13]everybody buys at the airport on the way home right some guy actually fucking ordered it online

[44:17]i know it felt so dumb like i was just there why didn't i buy it when i was there but you can

[44:21]choose from any number of casinos and i had to get the viva las vegas ones

[44:24]a whiff how is it really going with russell suck lips do you think your spouse would

[44:30]secretly be happy with somebody else

[44:32]what

[44:34]what

[44:37]that's the two that's the two options

[44:38]rob didn't want this to go on for too long

[44:40]rob i'm gonna um pull up a song sam levine charleston

[44:46]it would be nice if the dice said things like tell your partner they have a big one

[44:52]you know what i mean like that would be nice she rolls up and just looks at you goes

[44:57]you have a big one you'd be like this is great

[44:59]oh yes so i've got a few different stories we can talk about uh this last weekend i went to

[45:06]charleston for the first time and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to charleston for the first time

[45:07]south carolina i didn't i didn't have any of the chew but i did have a good time a few a few quick

[45:13]stories um one i stayed at a hotel that matt recommended the dewberry amazing hotel one of

[45:21]the things i learned about this hotel you want to know what the key to a great rooftop bar is

[45:26]what's that you got to be able to see 360 and be able to see the whole city from the rooftop

[45:31]okay yeah yeah yeah but it's a yep i agree and a lot of rooftop bars try to get around that don't

[45:36]they

[45:37]they try to make it where it's just a hair yeah excuse me this is not a rooftop

[45:40]russell were you freaked out by the turndown services as i was i didn't even notice the

[45:47]turndown service because this time we got back to the hotel on the first night we were there

[45:53]this friday night we get back at about midnight oh there's a gentleman standing outside his door

[45:59]and his what appears to be his date and kind of like a sequin type dress sitting on the floor in

[46:05]the hallway next to our room i'm like oh my god i'm gonna go to the hotel i'm gonna go to the hotel

[46:07]is it his actual date or lady of the night where you don't i they look like they were together about

[46:11]the same age like late because when i was there i was at some conference and everybody at the

[46:16]conference was staying there and there was definitely a gentleman who had uh a call you

[46:22]know a call person but it was a sex worker it was not a lady of the night it was a guy of the night

[46:27]and you know and you could and there was some pretty thin walls there let me just tell you that

[46:33]oh first of all i gotta tell you if i was going out to find a male sex worker

[46:37]the one thing i'd bring would be a grip strength tester you know what i mean like squeeze this

[46:41]tell me what you get no no like you're just rolling with like a like a gallon of ice cream

[46:47]and a scoop if you want to see what they can do yeah hey you in the cold stones hat

[46:51]but so we get up there and this is our first night and it's a beautiful hotel matt gave a

[47:00]recommendation a great spot i'm gonna chat with matt about the location but we get up there we

[47:06]come back

[47:07]two people standing out there oh manager's talking to him there's nothing i can do he says

[47:12]we get back and we stand and i just stand i've had a few drinks and i just stand there

[47:16]and i'm just listening for about a minute and eventually the upstairs roommate hits me it's

[47:20]like we gotta go like yeah we're lingering now they got locked out of their room and the hotel

[47:26]could not how is that possible you guys ever have you guys ever had that happen where the hotel you

[47:31]got locked out and the hotel could not get you back no how could that even be what do you think

[47:37]was it like one of these hotels where they give you a physical key or you have to take it down the

[47:41]lobby or what it was an electronic key just key just like you would get at any other hotel but

[47:46]obviously something with their system wasn't working and they didn't have like the hard key

[47:51]to get in there so we went in and for about the next 45 minutes it was silent for a while

[47:55]eventually the guy came back and they were sawing at the door they were trying to drill the door

[48:01]this is one in the morning at like man this is like a five-star hotel it's an amazing hotel

[48:07]and they are literally sawing at the door no and trying to drill out the doorknob to get these

[48:14]people stuff out of the room what it's three hours of hammer i don't know why this video exists but

[48:20]i kind of want to watch it so did you ever figure out what like did did you see them the next day

[48:26]were there was there any did not see they were not in there the next day but they the guy was

[48:30]telling him that like their maintenance person with whatever key was off site and he wasn't

[48:35]going to be there for a while and so what would you do if they were there for a while

[48:37]what would you guys have done if you went to a hotel and you couldn't get back in because i was

[48:41]saying i would be fine like if you put me in a different room i'm good for a good night like i

[48:46]don't mean all my stuff i'm good but what would you guys have done for that i don't know they

[48:52]were also doing a like an electronic sawzall rob if you want to do it yeah i mean i just like the

[48:58]comment says why the fuck does this exist i love it three hours of hammer yeah i think i would just

[49:03]say like well do you have any other room open where we can go sleep for tonight

[49:07]this is a lot russell i mean the last time i heard this much saw i was asked if i want to play a game

[49:21]so i texted you guys and i said matt thanks for the great hotel recommendation unfortunately

[49:26]there are people that are locked up but this was a great hotel how do you think it happened russell

[49:31]do you think that they here's what i'm thinking they came back from a night out a day too late

[49:37]and they no longer own the rooms and they can't let them in but then how do they get up there

[49:40]i like that my my initial idea was maybe there was some sort of you know how there's the like

[49:46]the gold latch there's the latch on the the door yeah part of me thought maybe they like were

[49:52]walking out and were messing with the door and somehow the the latch got like that was the only

[49:56]thing i could or maybe they have a hand lock on the knob and they lock the knob i don't know they

[50:01]got locked out of a hotel i've never seen that matt travels a lot for work you've ever seen that

[50:05]well somebody locked a door our lock on our door at our apartment which didn't work they didn't know

[50:09]this at the time so we now have drilled out the lock and we just have a hole to the hallway you

[50:13]know our apartment doesn't have a lock on it like in in the business we call it a peeper yeah you

[50:19]could you could look in and see me i don't know what you could see from that angle not much but

[50:23]give me doing some fucked up shit though i bet with my hotel locked door oh why does it say

[50:29]locked door this is the worst dice i've ever gotten i can barely read it it was it was a

[50:34]great hotel matt had a great recommendation they had a great bar like i said earlier it was an

[50:39]amazing rooftop bar a lot of times people will advertise rooftop bar you go up there it's not

[50:43]really anywhere to sit you can't really see out this was 360 degrees of the whole city it was

[50:49]amazing but i wanted to share a few other things with you guys i want to share a story of amazing

[50:53]customer service and dog shit customer service i'm going to give you the two opposite ends

[50:59]of the spectrum so the first story is the is the great story so

[51:03]one of the probably the most fun things we did when we were in charleston we did a

[51:07]a haunted tour which was a carriage tour so you get on it's like a horse-drawn carriage

[51:12]you get on with a couple other people there's like four rows so you could probably fit anywhere from

[51:17]like 8 to 16 people on this carriage they take you through the old historic charleston and they

[51:21]tell you ghost stories for an hour hour and a half right right and so we did a carriage tour

[51:28]earlier in the day where they do a history and they tell you all about the city but we had so

[51:32]much fun during that we're going to do the ghost stories and we're going to do the ghost stories

[51:33]one so when we went earlier in the day each of these rows of seats would probably fit four people

[51:39]wait wait a minute wait a minute i'm so sorry russell so you you you went on two horse carriage

[51:44]rides in the same day uh two and two days two and two rob two and two if you talk to my buddy

[51:49]that's a lot of horse carriage rides you guys are horse carriage couple so the one was an hour tour

[51:54]where they walk you through and it's like a history tour you're and it's it's a great it's

[51:59]kind of like the hop on hop off we talked about before but it's perfect just like that

[52:03]so we decided we're going to do the haunted one where they take you through by the graveyards and

[52:07]charleston is one of the three most haunted cities in the country up behind savannah and new orleans

[52:12]so we go and we get on but part of what we did is when we were there earlier we only had just

[52:18]the two of us in a row so like it's like the perfect seating oh no for two people but if you

[52:22]got four no especially people you don't want to sit with that's not like you don't want to do that

[52:27]right like rob you and your wife and kids could do it but you don't want to do with strangers

[52:31]would i like to say

[52:33]horse-drawn carriage with strangers hmm let me think about that russell no of course not

[52:38]i can't even imagine a blanket that big that would cover all of us so we so one of the options which

[52:43]i thought was really cool when we did the when we did the evening tour you could buy out the rest of

[52:49]your row for like another 25 bucks then you can lie down and so i'm like oh yeah we're doing that

[52:54]so i buy out the room oh yeah that's back in the marching band stuff yeah stuff going on so we get

[53:00]there and we get there and it's it's probably

[53:03]8 30 at night there's only four people on our tour another couple of then me and the upstairs

[53:08]roommate we get on the tour we get on the bus i don't even think anything of it an elderly lady

[53:13]who works there comes up to me and says hey you guys bought out the row but it didn't sell out

[53:18]we're gonna give you your money back i'm gonna give you 50 bucks back because you guys didn't

[53:23]need to buy out the row and i was like this is this is the beauty of humanity is it not yes

[53:27]that's outstanding the beauty yeah what a what a dummy

[53:30]that's crazy

[53:33]do you even capitalism bro i would be suspicious because the ghost story they told was a guy went

[53:38]to a restaurant and the date never showed up there were these dice and he died because of the dice

[53:46]right rob get suffocated and a guy on top oh oh aaron that would be now i gotta say this aaron

[53:52]if i killed my wife by 69 on top i would make up something else i would make up a story you have to

[54:01]yeah you can't tell yeah you gotta love it

[54:03]listen she died doing what she did not like so i wanted to share that was an amazing customer

[54:09]service story i thought you guys would like like they just said hey we're gonna give you your money

[54:13]that's fantastic i didn't even expect them to give you my money shout out the company so when we're

[54:17]in charleston we can get on the horseback ride it is charleston carriage chewers they do carriage

[54:21]during the day and the evening it was fantastic russell can i ask you this yes sir did you think

[54:26]twice when they gave you a blanket to put on there's something about a shared blanket on a

[54:29]ride i just get a little skeeved out by it it's like oh there were no blankets on this one oh

[54:33]well how did you is that like you'd be bringing a black light to see what that blanket looks like

[54:37]yeah everybody could just see what you guys are doing back there that's crazy aaron aaron knows

[54:42]the way i think he's bringing up a black light here's some horrible customer service tonight

[54:47]tonight tonight so we we had planned to do one episode aaron had planned something went south

[54:54]and i said oh i had plans we couldn't start to like 10 30 i probably could have started a little

[54:58]bit earlier but i wasn't in the right mental frame i told you guys before i had gotten the

[55:03]room made a few um tickets for events yes for christmas and one of the events we got was for

[55:08]tonight it was by fever up we've talked about them before they do the dinner in the dark they

[55:14]do the concert and the like concerts everything right uh brian from woodbury took his wife to

[55:19]i believe one of their events he's saint paul and um so tonight we had a date scheduled

[55:27]and it was for called neon brush paint in the dark it was at a brewery what and you would go

[55:33]and it would be like you're painting it's in the dark neon paints what rob black lights all over so

[55:39]i've got to be prepared like yeah you got jeans got to go in the wash before we double wash

[55:44]just go get just go get new just get new jeans just brand new jeans and pants rob what would

[55:50]you do if you were going to paint in the dark event neon black lights all over what would you do

[55:55]i'd wear my oldest mesh shorts okay

[55:58]where i was pulling the umbros out of retirement ah where's my umbros out of retirement where's my umbros out of retirement

[56:03]my black adidas sweatpants perfect russell i went i went uh bowling with some some of our listeners

[56:10]one time my hat and i had no idea this whole black light this is probably like college right after

[56:14]kind of thing and like one whole leg just had like it was like you spilt a whole beard on the leg or

[56:20]something like that oh no and but like i was like what the fuck somebody told me somebody somebody's

[56:26]like well how do you do your laundry and i'm like i don't put the laundry in and put the soap on

[56:31]well sometimes if you don't suds it up you know

[56:33]i don't know whatever the excuse was but it was not it was definitely like way down the leg and i

[56:38]was like thoroughly embarrassed so this is yeah this is uh two things number one you're using you

[56:44]should be using warm water and number two don't come into your washing machine you know what i mean

[56:49]like that's rule number two that's just weird maybe one maybe one a and one b it's one of those

[56:56]things you learn you know when you first live with your wife put it somewhere else right okay

[57:00]that's why matt hates washing

[57:03]right it is like the perfect height though isn't it

[57:06]well yeah it actually it is well i was thinking about the dryer i was like that

[57:11]that's crazy if you got a top load washer that's well i guess if you get up exactly

[57:16]practice and you practice for valentine's day so this is our big date night i told you guys

[57:21]earlier we didn't go out because of the roads the other night on valentine's day so tonight's

[57:26]our date night i ordered us these tickets for this you know paint in the dark i'm like this

[57:30]is super fun yeah something different right yeah

[57:33]we get there 8 30 we walk into the it's in a brewery it's called 56 brewery in northeast

[57:40]minneapolis walk in oh nice brewery a lot of people they've got oh they've got like holiday

[57:47]lights up top you're like oh this is a very nice place right right go in walk into the dark room

[57:51]ladies come up to us there is no 8 30 show what we show them our piece of paper saying 8 30 now

[58:01]you can't see them because it is dark in the room yeah

[58:03]well we can see them enough and they can see my pants in there and so they say they change the

[58:10]schedule of these events how are you just matter factly going and saying there was no notice no

[58:17]emails no text no nothing yeah that's some fucker and there's there's probably a hundred people in

[58:23]there like painting away that's the craziest thing i've heard yet so you can see people having fun

[58:27]and we walk in and they're like yeah we canceled the 8 30 show and we're like we never got a notice

[58:33]nothing and they go yeah and so they start going into this matter of fact yeah they scheduled the

[58:38]shows in december people who bought show tickets in december they they changed the times and dates

[58:43]in january and there was no like we're sorry or anything is that is there anything worse so

[58:50]literally the upstairs room at night ubered 15 minutes to this brewery to go to the paint in the

[58:57]dark and it wasn't happening that's crazy so what do you do then you're not even a beer drinker like

[59:03]so what then if it was me big smiles leave i love it when my wife's dates get destroyed and i get to

[59:10]go home i have to i'm gonna give the upstairs roommate props normally the upstairs roommate

[59:15]oh yeah i shouldn't say rude would be the no don't think about what you're gonna say russell just talk

[59:21]from your heart right now she would speak her mind about the results of it and we got in there

[59:27]and we were both just so shocked yeah like you don't expect to go to an event and have them say

[59:32]well actually the event that you signed up for is going to be a big event and i'm like well i'm not

[59:33]going to go to a big event and i'm like well i'm not going to go to a big event and i'm not going to

[59:33]up for isn't happening and it's not like they were like oh we're so sorry we got to make this

[59:38]up to you you know we're going to get you your money back right now we're going to get you a

[59:42]gift card to the nothing they're just like oh this is why it happened we're like i don't give a shit

[59:46]why it happened we're here and then i you guys are like this i go oh yeah i guess this was not

[59:52]a great holiday gift by me so i put like the oh yeah on these people did you get a free cookie

[59:56]or anything we didn't get shit we didn't get shit they gave us a little coupon that said like here's

[60:03]a here's the fever up um customer service so you can scan it they gave us a customer service thing

[60:11]talk to someone else fever up you know what i gotta say to you fuck you tonight you fucking

[60:18]ruined my night kiss my ass we went out of our way to go to one of your events we show up

[60:24]and for you to say oh we changed the times and didn't give you a notice

[60:29]fuck you right in the basura i thought that was straight

[60:33]garbage and aaron you're right i don't drink a ton of beer anymore and you know who doesn't

[60:36]drink beer the upstairs roommate doesn't drink any beer so now we're at a brewery that we drove

[60:41]we ubered we ubered yeah we took you had to out of your way yes and i i paid for uber xl because

[60:49]i thought it would be more day night we get there oh probably 15 20 minute dollar uber right get

[60:55]there what are we gonna do we don't we're not bearded so i we're sitting there i ordered the

[61:00]uber and i was flabbergasted i didn't know what to do

[61:03]so we're kind of just laughing about it and like well i have to get a beer we're not sitting in

[61:06]this damn brewery not getting something out of here so i got some beer and pounded a beer in

[61:12]like five minutes then we got in the uber and we came home but i gotta say this to fever up

[61:16]you fucking ruin my holiday gift you pieces of shit that's fucked up they should have made it

[61:22]right so yeah so what what so 8 30 i'm just trying to put this together yeah 8 30 you get

[61:30]there and they say no they wait like five minutes it's probably 10.

[61:33]yeah okay 10 minutes and then you know you get an uber maybe five minutes for there so now we're up

[61:38]to 8 45 yeah and it takes 15 minutes to go so nine o'clock you've been home i could have texted

[61:42]yeah okay a couple reasons one one oh no no no we don't need it we don't need to know we didn't ask

[61:51]that's fine whatever you and the upstairs roommate do with your time that's okay those dice we're

[61:55]not yeah put away those handcuffs so that was that was my night the the the great side of customer

[62:02]service on one hand and on the other hand we're like oh my god we're like oh my god we're like

[62:03]one end in charleston at the carriage tours and the worst side with fever up and the worst is

[62:09]i've got another fever up event we're going to see a candlelight concert with queen starring

[62:14]queen songs coming up in a week i kind of don't want to go i'm upset about them screwing me over

[62:20]i'm upset that roland going how's it going with you uh good it's uh we're we've been we've been

[62:27]on for a while so i'm just i got i got one thing on my list here and we already talked about it

[62:31]says kendrick wears canadian tuxedo

[62:33]i just wanted to talk about kendrick is brilliant are we going to talk about the

[62:40]halftime show at some point or is that next week you want me to play the voicemail right now all

[62:44]right sure play the voicemail quick now we're now we don't have any voicemail so i just let

[62:49]everybody know please call in with the voicemails what's your review of the kendrick lamar halftime

[62:55]show oh oh no first of all can i stop you real quick listen to this in the background what's

[63:03]the name of the show i don't know i don't know what the hell is this is a coffee child coffee child that is a coffee and small child so you know what yeah this is a true fan who's got a kid at home sick as hell sounds like it's young enough where it's really a pain in the ass but what they really want to know okay they're not calling the pharmacy to get medicine for baby okay what they really want to know is what we thought of the kendrick lamar halftime show what'd you guys think i'll go for his second best one ever it was awesome britney spears

[63:30]no i love that i think i'm gonna go with prince prince's show is pretty good

[63:35]people have people have said there's a couple other ones so let's just say it's a top three

[63:41]top four uh but i thought it was awesome i didn't know i maybe i knew a third of the symbolism and

[63:46]then you start reading things like you know i didn't know that that was serena williams and

[63:51]then i'm like oh well serena williams was dating drake so yeah of course he's gonna trick out

[63:55]oh she's doing the crip walk okay she's from compton all blah blah oh

[64:00]no it was because in when she was in wimbledon and she did the crip walk after she won she got

[64:04]lambasted for doing it and you know the the holy land of women so awesome i mean like just

[64:10]unbelievable the only thing they could have done better the only thing and you guys could tell me

[64:15]if i'm wrong here they could have had white they could have had one white dancer just to have it

[64:20]just to have one out there just that's about the only thing they could have you should design

[64:25]halftime shows man that's so good yeah yeah so that's it that's that's my review i love

[64:30]it i was hanging out with a bunch of old people who are thoroughly confused and couldn't understand

[64:35]anything and then everybody the whole crowd yelled a minor and all that stuff it was just

[64:40]awesome i absolutely loved kendrick's halftime show matt said it all that could be said i'm

[64:47]if i could be selfish if i could have my druthers i would have loved to see more musicians out there

[64:55]with him the dancing was great symbolism was great i would have loved to see uh kamasi

[65:00]out there play saxophone and hear some stuff from pimp a butterfly but that's me selfishly

[65:04]wanting to hear the tunes from my favorite kendrick couple go ahead man i i'm just gonna i'm gonna i'll

[65:09]say one thing the the halftime shows have become you know how many people can we get out there and

[65:15]how many you know cameos and all this stuff and this was kind of there you know and he had mustard

[65:20]to come out mustard yeah came out mean mr mustard but i i kind of like you know because there was an

[65:30]there was an actual like thought to everything that went into that whole damn show right and

[65:38]it wasn't just like you know the star power we're just going to sing some songs like it was

[65:42]an and i probably still don't know a quarter of the symbolism of stuff i haven't uh dug in

[65:49]far enough or long enough to kind of really read if there's more and there's probably some deep

[65:54]dark reddit pages or something that have the whole thing listed out but it's just it's unbelievable

[65:59]it was unbelievable i was the best

[66:00]to hear luther too luther's my favorite track off of gnx i was really happy to hear luther

[66:04]and sysa killed it i i thought the biggest symbols were at the end where they hit him and they went

[66:09]hello is there delay is the delay again did we miss the delay but i thought the delay was only

[66:16]when you're telling jokes though russell did you did you watch the halftime show russell

[66:21]hot take guys i was in charleston i didn't watch any of the super wow probably good

[66:25]this culture on this guy i love it it's kind of free to like not give a shit

[66:30]about the super bowl and we're just out we're eating seafood in charleston yeah we're having a

[66:35]blast but i did watch the replay of the i did what we did watch the replay of the halftime show

[66:41]thought it was fantastic i don't really get into the this is the greatest ever it's not the greatest

[66:46]people i feel like everyone's got to say that everything's got and we do a ranking on this

[66:51]podcast so i get it but like everything's got it's got to be the greatest ever the worst ever

[66:56]and there's no in between right like can't it just be like it is what it is like it's

[67:00]it's a story he did a great job it was super fun to watch and there's so much symbolism to it but

[67:06]i don't always think it's got to be it's number one or it's or it's horrible you know what i'm

[67:10]saying i'm usually with you russell but i think this one for whatever reason hit me that much

[67:14]like just the bloods and the crips coming together to make the american i mean just

[67:19]everything was just on point that i it just felt like it was some sort of like top level for me

[67:26]top shelf so we watched it and i had seen like all the people saying oh my god it's

[67:30]they love it they don't like whatever so we watched like six other ones on youtube that night

[67:35]oh yes we watched prince yeah which was amazing and the other interesting thing about prince if

[67:41]you go back and watch it he's got like three covers in that he's got like a foo fighters song

[67:45]he's got a bunch of other ones and we had to look up why is he doing all the covers and it was like

[67:50]because he wants to be like the father of rock and roll like there's it's it's you don't expect

[67:55]it when you go back and watch it we watched the michael jackson one which is a fucking

[68:00]trip that is a wild where he starts he starts way up on the sign and everybody's looking up

[68:05]there and then he jumps in and that's the one that supposedly started the modern halftime show

[68:08]because there's something about the year before michael jackson some crazy thing the year the

[68:13]year before they lost all their audience to no this is how awesome this is to in living color

[68:19]at a halftime show during that halftime and they lost like half the audience they're like shit we

[68:24]got to put on a real show yeah because of in living color so we watched the michael jackson

[68:30]the tough thing when you go back watch the old ones and i don't know how much this happens with

[68:33]kendrick or um the other ones we've seen in recent years like how much lip syncing like the jackson

[68:38]when he's not clearly not singing at all right right yeah but but you watch it as prince was

[68:43]singing for sure prince was singing michael jackson is clearly not and you're watching and

[68:49]it's a bonker show it's so wild you watch him like this is the biggest show you've ever seen in your

[68:53]life to jackson so we saw watch those two we went we went back and watched the uh dr dre snoop dog

[69:00]mary j blige the one from that was fantastic yeah that was cool it was so yeah it was so good 50 cent

[69:07]hanging upside down yeah that 50 cent hanging upside down we saw that um and then we watched

[69:11]a bruce springsteen one and then we watched a couple other ones but like i think most of them

[69:16]are usually pretty good although i was reading in minnesota when they hosted the super bowl a few

[69:21]years ago it was like like ice skating like brian boitano like i don't even remember i don't remember

[69:25]but it was supposedly horrible jt yeah one of our listeners was uh on the setup

[69:30]pushing the stage out pulling it back hearing from minneapolis but rob weren't you saying i

[69:35]think i i feel like you years ago you said like the lady gaga was the greatest one oh well that's

[69:41]the one that we watch in the house i would say once a month we still watch that so that means

[69:45]that for you guys it doesn't there's some there's some personality types in this house or if they

[69:48]watch the same thing a lot it kind of calms them down so we throw on that we throw on that video

[69:53]with lady gaga jumping in and it was good it was a banger she was really good yeah now listen

[70:00]my turn rolling going i'm just gonna say something and i want you to say the first

[70:05]word that comes to your mind i want you to be honest oh god shit okay 12-sided jack off now

[70:10]my christmas tree is still up that's that's marvelous i love it it's real it's very real

[70:18]that isn't it's a real tree it is february 15th how come nicole hasn't taken it down for you first

[70:26]of all that's a good question okay i'll have to ask her that next time i have my video game you

[70:30]ask nicole why why have you not taken down our tree yet nicole we my kid had a valentine's day

[70:35]party yesterday and her friends came over and the tree was still up and we're like oh it's a

[70:39]valentine's day tree even though it still has all that i mean this is decorated no it's got all the

[70:44]santa stuff on it dude we're not gonna russell you think we're gonna take off our decorations

[70:48]and just leave the tree up that's sick no our tree is still up the tree's probably been dead for six

[70:52]weeks yeah oh fire hazard way longer it looks terrible russell it's like brown technically it

[71:00]brought it to the i mean it looks like ben roethlisberger it's like oh all sorts of it's

[71:05]turning gray it's drooping over i gotta i gotta ask this how can two world champion power lifters

[71:11]be so fucking lazy okay first of all first of all the building will come up and take the tree

[71:21]at any time they'll put it in a big bag they'll grab it we can just tip the guys 20 bucks february

[71:26]or march well some people in your house would tip the guys more than that that thought

[71:30]has come to my mind that uh just we're past the bagging so we might have to go the full year now

[71:35]i don't know what's gonna happen with this tree the tree honestly is a good representation it's

[71:39]just the symbolism of my life i feel like a christmas tree still up on february 15th and

[71:42]this is not our record by the way we've had one go to march before we told you this i told you

[71:47]yeah oh absolutely okay and we've got you'll never guess where our christmas cards are

[71:52]they're in my wife's closet next to the christmas cards from last year the christmas tree is still

[71:56]up we're pathetic you even have you've told me you've got like

[72:00]the the stand where you just step on it and take it right out it shouldn't be hard to get it out

[72:04]not at all shit you know jenny she reached out and said is this your address and i said no it's

[72:09]one off she goes oh good and this was like at a normal time yeah send out so she even like was

[72:14]checking in on addresses and has proper addresses for your cards okay yep no we're uh busy uh we're

[72:20]going out every night and we're painting in the dark so we don't have a lot of time

[72:23]they've been open and actually it's a blast it's one of the most fun things i've ever done in my

[72:29]life

[72:29]you

[72:30], you guys were not taking that tree down you also went you'd send us a text you went to jean

[72:34]george which is like the number one restaurant in the u.s i gotta i gotta hear how was jean george

[72:39]it was it was a meal i think it's the best meal i've ever had the piece of duck i've had no duck

[72:43]i've never had duck and said oh that's good now do i bought you duck i think it's spoon and stable

[72:48]when you were in town but that's okay trick that's when russell ordered one of each entree

[72:53]he was prepared that duck i think about all the time russell okay okay and

[73:00]this time in gym where a kid threw a ball at me i think about that duck too but i will say don't

[73:06]you guys want to eat those ducks outside of a chinese store oh yeah the ones hanging out

[73:09]the barbecue duck god damn that looks it's it's smiling at me oh just put it in my mouth let's go

[73:16]when they start the dinner russell and i thought of you you got to go with us sometime when we

[73:19]come out when you come out they said here's the bread the whipped butter we flew in from france

[73:24]from this town okay i was like i thought of russell right away when he said that i was like

[73:28]russell would fucking love this shit

[73:30]is that is this is it kind of the inverse is this why you don't uh tell jenny how much you're

[73:36]winning on gambling because she would just it would it would put her in a bad mood for the

[73:40]rest of the week yeah she would want to just go to uh nicer and nicer places except for the last

[73:45]five years speaking of can i tell you guys a real quick story i promise it won't be long

[73:50]so i'm at my mom's i'm helping her out with some stuff today and i'm

[73:54]helping her get her stuff ready for her taxes like getting her pension or social security or

[73:59]retirement and all that stuff and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm

[74:00]all the stuff in the folder for all that illegal drug the illegal drug she's selling you know you

[74:04]gotta claim that cash she's asking me she's like hey can you get out my 2024 and 23 stuff i want

[74:10]to make sure i'm not missing something that i had to give them previously right get it out and

[74:14]looking through it i look she's got a tax form in there for gambling winnings oh so she's got a tax

[74:23]form for like 1200 bucks in gambling winnings you must have to report like over a grand or i don't

[74:30]know so i'm like i kind of start giving her a little shit i'm like joking around but i start

[74:34]i start thumbing through she's got another form she claims the losses

[74:39]so she's got a form in there it must be like if you've got like the the the card yeah you must

[74:48]be able to like track it and she had like a sheet yeah that was provided by the local the local

[74:54]gambling establishment she's like she's like a member she goes in she's like oh i'll draw some

[74:58]on my account yeah i'll draw some chips on my account yeah i'll draw some chips on my account

[75:00]oh and so i was going through month by month and i was kind of joking and going god dang june and

[75:04]july of 24 were not good months for my mom were they and she was she was laughing about it but

[75:10]yes claiming the losses i was like good on you if you gotta pay for the winnings you gotta claim

[75:16]the loss russell would you want to see a form like that from your years in vegas

[75:19]oh my god no i'd rather have the dead tree in my house and see that form when i was reading

[75:25]about craps the guy who wrote the book on craps i was reading was talking about how much better it

[75:30]was to get an account at the casino because then you get the money for six weeks interest free you

[75:35]don't have to pay it back it's way better than using the atm at the casino that's fucking smart

[75:41]that's really fucking smart guys we should be doing the whole vegas trip on credit right i

[75:45]didn't even think about that and the numbers weren't extreme or anything like that you know

[75:49]there's a couple hundred bucks here or there whatever but i was like you know we don't have

[75:53]to have an event we don't have to have an intervention there was definitely not an

[75:56]intervention required but when i saw the winnings i was like damn i have to have an intervention

[76:00]i've never had to claim it what is her game what what is her is it the slots slots man it's a slot

[76:05]so you must if you win over a certain amount you must have to claim it because i remember once

[76:10]at mystic lake which is down matt what would you say it's off like it's not 169 and 169

[76:16]kind of down by shock you can take 42 over there you want to take 42 west yeah you know off of 35

[76:22]but i remember like 13 to 42 and then aaron and i used to go to the casino together when we were

[76:28]a little younger yeah

[76:30]i had a few i had a time once where i won canterbury road that's what i won canterbury

[76:33]i would say a couple almost a couple grand whoa one night and i cashed it out and here's what i

[76:40]did i went to four different things because i did not want to get the tax form so i went to like one

[76:46]window and cashed in like 700 another window 700 another window 700 so i cashed them all out

[76:52]separately because i didn't want the form wow it's the moment you moment you have the form

[76:56]now you got to claim the losses right yeah you got to that's true you got to do it

[77:00]right so we did get a new we did get a new tax guy jenny was like do we want to talk about do we

[77:04]want to do any of your gambling stuff and i was like no we don't know that i would have to explain

[77:09]the complicatedness of that i'd be like this is actually kind of an llc

[77:13]to have to look someone in the eye and explain those numbers

[77:18]i'd be like listen it shows i've lost five thousand dollars but what if i told you that

[77:24]most of these bets involve 20 to 10 guys at any time so actually it's like i lost 50 bucks

[77:29]and that 12 was actually um some alfredo pizza that i got right outside of paris yeah listen

[77:37]i did enjoy that alfredo pizza that's good those of you on the text chain who heard aaron say that

[77:45]he is reading a book about craps don't think i didn't notice that okay that's in my head i am

[77:49]thinking about that but this episode's too long i cannot ask aaron about what a book about crap says

[77:53]okay what the chapter on the past line says now listen there's the there's the pig vig and the

[77:59]only pays on wins sometimes it depends on wins and losses part of me wonders if if craps is going to

[78:05]be the end of our trip because i think it's going to break our team into it is there's going to be

[78:09]the crap team and the blackjack team i feel like matt's with me but the craps team has been growing

[78:14]in the last couple years that's fine russell when they just crap out and they'll be back with us

[78:20]don't i did worse than craps this time yeah aaron and i are moisturizer and knuckles yeah that's

[78:25]part of the thing is that you guys first of all you two i just want to say that you two man russell

[78:29]you two every time you guys can go play cards off by yourself you always come back and you're like

[78:33]i won like 800 bucks yeah every time i go with you we get fucking killed

[78:38]destroyed and then i'm like fuck and then i leave when i come back and you're like i'm up 600

[78:43]it's never been me not once has it ever been me and i'll have a good time at like craps i'll be

[78:50]like i doubled 20 to 40 aaron and i are out who knows what on this trip okay we come back and

[78:56]everybody's like this is the best gambling night ever yeah we're like okay we took

[78:59]you guys can go play cards off by yourself you always come back and you're like i won like 800

[78:59]we took the over and it lost by a half point on a safety like it's unbelievable the thing i will

[79:05]give rob i gotta give you credit on your gambling style though you are the guy you you pull chips

[79:10]off the table when you can so like if you're playing blackjack with rob and he wins a couple

[79:15]hands there's chips going in pockets where most of us i'm not a pocket guy i'm not

[79:21]i'm leaving it out there i gotta i gotta show people this is what's up

[79:26]i just gotta know what i'm rob pockets chips and then he'll be like

[79:29]i'm kind of loose and he'll get up and he's actually winning that's true that's just smart

[79:34]that is a great way to stand there for two hours while your friends have fun and you stand behind

[79:39]them like a pathetic loser and that one of them will get you a vodka and red bull you can drink

[79:46]yeah and you're praying they get up because you realize you made a huge mistake by standing up so

[79:50]early just an absolute idiot now layla and other assorted love songs brought to you by

[79:57]home of the wife swap

[79:59]oh you get a free pair of sex dice when you show up okay it's the wife swapping this time we've

[80:05]heard yet oh this is the king of the wife swap the king lick toes inflate doll i don't like this

[80:13]22 why do i gotta do it 22 times it's just it's just sex dice that i made

[80:19]they all say lick toes yeah they're all like every side turn on vcr push play what take off my socks

[80:29]oh my god take off my socks take off socks would be a great sex dice i'd be so happy

[80:33]oh my god if i know listen i'm gonna edit this out but i'm just gonna tell you if i could bust

[80:40]well somebody was taking off my socks we gotta we gotta we gotta get past this i would feel like

[80:46]the buddha i would see the world moving i would see the future in the past all at once last we

[80:51]saw eric clapton was in cream okay they broke up in 68 this album comes out in 70 cream off the

[80:57]list vetoed right that was the one that was one like five hours no longer on the list we thought

[81:03]it's like 72 or something we thought it's because of eric clapton's questionable political views

[81:08]lately okay we've totally forgot about it it's from like the 70s right and yes oh yeah he's a

[81:15]he's a piece of shit but he was in like a million bands one thing about eric clapton is if you read

[81:20]what bands he was in he was in a million bands you'd never even heard of so for example cream

[81:25]breaks up he's out touring with blind faith

[81:27]oh steve winwood right it's not the band faith no more it is steve winwood and ginger baker the

[81:35]drummer oh okay right they don't have enough material on their tour so they play cream and

[81:40]traffic songs which is what steve winwood was in traffic and so it everybody the crowd loves it it

[81:45]bums out clapton because he's like is this what i'm doing so instead he starts hanging out with

[81:49]the opening band this album by the way is a crazy story he starts hanging out with the opening band

[81:54]delaney and bonnie okay this becomes his back

[81:57]i was wondering if anybody heard the blind faith stuff i heard i had to google

[82:11]he tours so they back him up on his eric clapton eponymous debut album which by the way bombs

[82:20]okay they tour delaney and bonnie tours with him and friends with george harrison post

[82:27]feels breakup okay during this tour often becomes infatuated with patty boyd who's george harrison's

[82:34]wife right they live in this house the band gets together they jam all day they get whatever drugs

[82:40]they want they're just going crazy and basically it's a jam band with this opening band from the

[82:45]tour they love it and so they say hey we gotta get out we gotta make an album okay so what do

[82:50]they do they go down to miami and they all get hooked on heroin almost immediately they're like

[82:57]we went to miami and we just started doing heroin like crazy okay they go out and they

[83:03]record a couple songs and then they see a guy named duane almond almond god damn it i said

[83:08]duane almond they see duane almond and they say you gotta get more thoughts on your on your thoughts

[83:13]on the amount of water they're killing the salmon crop around here like we just let's be done with

[83:19]almonds there's probably other nuts we can have instead he always says that i don't get it i don't

[83:24]want to ask because they divert the water from the delta for the salmon crop and they're like oh

[83:27]the almonds and then the salmon don't have a place to spawn that we didn't have fucking king

[83:30]salmon season for three years in a row now the president the president opened up to see yeah okay

[83:35]yeah we're good okay price is coming down all right okay they close the delta i recommend

[83:42]flying southwest all right so here's the thing okay it's not funny the salmon are dying

[83:47]they release this album duane duane almond is on three all but three songs you can hear a slide

[83:54]on this album oh

[83:57]no he's on almost every song no he's on three i did not no it's all no i did not realize that

[84:01]i was listening to this thinking like i don't know if this is better than

[84:04]or i don't know if the almond brothers is better than this and i mean just spoiler alert for my

[84:08]ruling my okay now it's all i was listening to a couple of these songs and i was like god damn

[84:13]this sounds like the almond right this is crazy and then i'm like okay yeah so then this album

[84:19]comes out 1970 absolutely bombs nobody thinks eric clapton is a lead singer nobody thinks

[84:26]eric clapton is a lead singer nobody thinks eric clapton is a lead singer nobody thinks eric clapton

[84:27]it doesn't get big until leila charts in 72 two years later meanwhile in between what happens

[84:33]clapton's idol jimmy hendrix dies 70 duane almond dies in a motorcycle crash in 71 band breaks up

[84:40]who would have guessed a bunch of guys going to miami and doing heroin turns out they all hate

[84:43]each other they break up break up clapton gets uh sober he comes out and this album is absolutely

[84:49]huge so let's get into leila wow and other assorted love songs i looked away way too soft

[84:56]for an opener speaking of assorted not love songs but i got the upstairs roommate um assorted

[85:02]sherry's berries chocolate covered strawberries yes wow what is the appropriate amount of chocolate

[85:08]covered strawberries to get your um your special someone on valentine's day is it 6 12 or 20 boom

[85:16]you didn't say the option that i was hoping that i would have zero yeah i was gonna say zero zero

[85:21]hey how do we know who how do we know the guy that's not married on this podcast because he's

[85:26]asking how many chocolate chip strawberries do you get for your significant other if i bought

[85:31]my wife something with chocolate in it to eat she would be so fucking pissed at me she'd be like you

[85:35]know i've got to make weight in may i got my wife a card you know what i got for valentine's day oh

[85:39]yeah man jack shit oh jack shit and i'm fine with it i'm fine with it worst adult holidays top three

[85:47]worst adult holidays right second runner-up halloween sucks oh first runner-up fucking crazy

[85:54]okay first runner-up

[85:56]valentine's day yep and the worst holiday for adults ever new year's new year's

[86:01]you know i love fucking new year's you know i love that valentine's day does suck balls though

[86:08]you know my wife and i actually we went for a date on valentine's oh let's hear about your date

[86:13]well it was after we were at the gym we went to a sushi place and we were hoping it was open

[86:18]because we had a brother yeah brother brother i had to leave the dinner before the bill came

[86:24]because i had planned a massage at 6 30.

[86:26]i had to go my bad not a couple's massage just a rob massage okay and that's not what you get at

[86:33]robmassage.com which is the totally separate thing i did when i was in college don't look at it all

[86:38]right uh russell i would say 12 i think is too many well but now six isn't enough because six

[86:43]you're gonna eat three you're gonna eat three about the correct answer is 12 yes 12 is the

[86:50]correct answer love it and then down to 10 after you put two on your nipples in your whipped cream

[86:54]outfit

[86:54]you're gonna eat three you're gonna eat three you're gonna eat three you're gonna eat three

[86:56]so we might need to pause this for a few minutes maybe throw it in the belly button too why not

[87:00]now next up bell bottom blues russell did she like the sherrys berries they're always a hit in this

[87:07]house this is how i know i'm a simple person this was always my favorite song on the cladton greatest

[87:13]hit cd i was gonna say that's crazy i have an announcement oh uh-oh we have a new entrance on

[87:21]the top 100 i mean the song's right

[87:24]you

[87:25]i had another song i was gonna predict that was matt's perfect song that was not leila

[87:30]this is it so i gotta remove a song guys from the list and i've cut it down to two

[87:38]to keep my list at 100 because this is going on perfect but i gotta have that man you keep a list

[87:43]of perfect songs yes and so shut your eyes by snow patrol this is such a good song i can listen to

[87:50]yeah or just breathe by pearl jam which one gets axed how many other

[87:55]songs

[87:55]like that's probably one of eight now i've been hearing it back

[87:59]just breathe gone now this song of course is about clapton's unrequited love for patty boyd

[88:08]that's here's his wife rob yeah yeah we're gonna talk more about her on leila but i just want to

[88:15]ask you guys this oh by the way clapton did all the guitar parts on this man he's playing guitar

[88:19]multiple layers on this which is kind of cool i think he does a lot of that doesn't he what kind

[88:23]of jeans are you guys wearing like when you go buy some jeans and you're like oh my god i'm gonna wear

[88:25]some jeans what are you thinking are you athletic travel pants that they're like they're like

[88:30]very stretchy now aaron do you not have any jeans i do but i hate them i wear them in the garden and

[88:35]they're so tight and i can't stand it so i switched to corduroys wait a minute i gotta turn my video

[88:39]off aaron gardening in tight jeans are we doing the tubing again i hear it yeah where i jack off

[88:46]thinking about aaron gardening in tight jeans oh russell turned off his video it says taking a jack

[88:52]break oh sorry sir aaron have you not like tried like some of the new ones i mean they get expensive

[88:58]but like they're essentially like wearing sweatpants i'm not some of these some of these

[89:02]jeans yeah they're pretty good what do you got recommended for jeans man i mean i i'm not a big

[89:09]jeans guy either but the banana republic of all places usually has like deep discount jeans for

[89:16]like 30 or 40 bucks kind of thing and so whenever they go on deep discount i always buy it was a

[89:21]deep discount i don't know i don't know if it's a deep discount i don't know if it's a deep discount

[89:22]i would love a pair of jeans i just i can't find any that are comfy i wear size 65 i'm a big guy

[89:30]oh bye-bye bungalow oh now you know that i love finding fun covers this cover is insane to me

[89:39]it's share oh listen to the vocal choices she makes on this song five years later never talked

[89:44]about her have we no maybe once oh my god it's so crazy she's singing the same red

[89:52]register that's the same key i'm gonna add this to my songs

[89:56]wow holy fucking shit this is better rules i do not like this

[90:07]listen to the music i mean leave you listen to the little the music in the background it sounds

[90:15]like a cover band yeah you're right yeah share's voice is great if you love share's voice because

[90:19]she's never changing it every song she's doing all those

[90:22]keep on growing

[90:26]all right we gotta talk this album is this is late i know people might not like it this is

[90:35]this is an unbelievable album yeah yeah this music is so good it's probably it's very good

[90:41]music it's very it's very problematic how good this music is to me the musicality off the charts

[90:46]hey hot take this is better than beatles albums in the top 30

[90:51]oh

[90:52]this is where the podcast came from in the first place and this is i'd rather listen to this than

[90:57]a lot of stuff russell russell i want you to look me in my fucking eyes and you say that to me when

[91:02]we played the last song on this album when we play the last song you're gonna say that same

[91:08]sentence again let's play the last song on abbey road then too okay now it's time to say good night

[91:15]nobody knows you when you're down and out this of course i i knew from his acoustic yeah same

[91:21]eric clapton i really know better from his acoustic uh what's unplugged which i think is so good

[91:27]russell if you like this you should listen to clapton's unplugged album i disagree actually

[91:32]i don't know i think that has really well i don't want to hear it i think i gotta go back and listen

[91:38]to kind of like listen to sarah i don't mean to i know i know that doesn't hit you well and i

[91:42]disagree i apologize you guys were talking about clapton and you know i think i remember i think we

[91:48]remember from unplugged right we remember yeah for some of those songs the kids fell out of the

[91:53]window and blah blah blah oh god i was trying not to say it why am i laughing man you want to do

[92:00]your whole bit on this or you're gonna do this no not doing the bit on it's very sad so so i was

[92:06]looking though and they'd always fucking mention it when the song would come on i'm trying to make

[92:10]out with a chick in the car i don't need to hear why this song came up so eric clapton that's too

[92:18]bad he won best male rock vocal performance in 1991 for bad love 1993 from plug he was

[92:29]nominated again in 1997 rob i think i gave you one of eric clapton's songs if you want to play

[92:35]that yes this is where she gets nominated for 97 best male rock vocal performance is this a big

[92:41]thing out this album this one i don't really remember clapton from late 90s i don't know if

[92:48]guys do but he was nominated best bill i just remember the album he did with bb king right

[92:52]the king i don't remember this at all well i think you may remember who he lost to in best

[92:58]male rock vocal performance in 97 it was back wow where it's at back beat eric clapton wow for the

[93:05]grammy yes the habitation i gotta ask you when it comes to 1997 best male rock vocal performance

[93:15]who did it better than eric clapton

[93:16]you did it

[93:18]oh i might have to save that one as a sound effect russell do you hear how good that sounded with my

[93:23]sick voice here's the other nominations for that year brian adams the only thing that looks good

[93:30]on me is you i don't know that yes oh that i remember that only thing that looks good

[93:37]russell this is that i remember this song is a classic banger

[93:41]this was because everybody was so excited for brian adams next song after the robin hood

[93:48]and then he came out with this everybody's like oh this sucks nuts like this is so bad the video's bad

[93:53]the other nominations for bruce springsteen dead man walking yeah wait and the other one was john

[94:00]hyatt cry love oh i love john hyatt no wonder beck won like no wonder what beck what the hell

[94:07]the camel's ass the llama's ass when it comes to these guys right john hyatt cry love what is this

[94:13]shit like if someone were like your kids

[94:18]coming to you one day aaron or matt rob and they say these were the this when you were 17 this was

[94:23]the biggest this was the biggest song what are you talking about no idea this is a great song

[94:29]the great song but if you're back where it's at you got it's that year you gotta be like

[94:35]fuck yeah this is great i'm with this shit no problem is this the guy who's saying have a

[94:41]little faith is that why i know his voice we don't have to take a detour i think so john aaron the whole

[94:48]episode it's been it's been a long we're gonna drive on a long strange trip

[94:52]john hyatt have yeah okay aaron you're so good that's a great it is a good song

[94:58]and you can look at how sweaty wow this is back that's as sweaty as any rock star in the history

[95:07]of music this is back when singers could be ugly as shit this guy looks like skeletor with bad hair

[95:13]bruce hornsby oh yes

[95:17]he is pulling such high wind would all these guys just yeah it looks like he's wearing levi's there

[95:23]rob you can see the patch of his jeans it's true what size is he oh my god he's a big jeans guy he's

[95:28]65 i didn't realize that john hyatt big jean guy all right the big jean guy uh now i will say this

[95:38]guys i will say this first of all you can hear that this album like you can hear a lot of it

[95:44]comes on jams for this song i just wrote this sucks my balls i didn't know that this was a

[95:47]you guys did there's songs like this on here there's some shit on here yeah there's some

[95:53]stuff on here that's skippable for sure maybe i listened to too much 12 bar blues growing up

[95:59]but i'm just not as impressed anymore get him get him rob get i don't to me i'm just like i

[96:06]i i don't know and then he's doing blues karaoke do it but listen to this song you're gonna listen

[96:12]to this song what is going on here this doesn't need to be a double album i will say this you

[96:18]tighten this to a single album so good yeah the thorn tree song like the john denver type song

[96:23]that one sucks and now i won't be negative anymore any day this next one this one is the one i'm just

[96:30]gonna claim this is my perfect one this is a good one this is what i thought you were gonna say

[96:34]i listened to this five times in a row on the drive home from work the other night this song

[96:39]wails this is so good yeah great

[96:42]listen to dwayne allman back there though just crushing it i mean

[96:46]okay this is good this is good right it's hard to resist this shit

[96:51]when it hits it hits does this feel a little beatles to you guys or no

[96:57]not at all why do you say beatles russell why do you say that i'm curious a little bit here that

[97:04]it sounds like mccartney singing to me that right there yeah that sounds like mccartney

[97:12]that sounds like mccartney to me

[97:12]sounds like him from oh darling right here

[97:13]it also sounds like uh who's the guy uh joe crocker i mean it sounds like a lot of people

[97:23]yes i mean so that's good russell's paul mccartney impression is unmatched that we just heard it was

[97:29]crazy that was a crazy impression i'm gonna pull it and play it again right now wait to make the

[97:33]music i'm gonna play that impression again right now next up key to the highway this is an old blue

[97:40]standard okay but get this i'm gonna play it again right now i'm gonna play it again right now

[97:42]this russell is a highway now that song fucking rocks and by the way super hard to do a karaoke

[97:47]speaking of karaoke can i tell you this russell they heard the song sam samudio in the duane and

[97:53]eric are sitting there playing guitar they hear sam samudio playing this in the recording studio

[97:58]next door they start playing in and the recorder goes the engineer goes shit push record which is

[98:03]why it starts halfway through they never recorded the beginning now russell sam samudio have you

[98:10]ever heard that name before no well russell it turns out sam samudio had a self-named band or he

[98:17]was he actually had a fake name he was part of the pharaohs as sam the sham no of course saying

[98:23]allman airclaps and dwayne allman are next to the guy who did woolly bully i mean here's something

[98:34]he does he goes fuck we gotta record this right now like what if it was woolly bully and they're

[98:38]like shit we gotta record woolly bully

[98:40]crazy slays them the sham tell the truth you're talking about uh dwayne allman yes uh we we so we

[98:50]did whipping post play whipping post we did that once before right yes and so i was reading a

[98:55]little bit because dwayne allman is like a killer slide guitar player with a ton of artists it's not

[99:01]just the allman brothers he was uh he was part of the uh what was that yeah muscle shoals yeah

[99:09]muscle shoals

[99:10]so i thought we could do a list of dwayne allman's greatest guitar riffs outside of the allman

[99:17]brothers is that fair yeah russell i've never looked so forward to a list in my life

[99:21]and all these songs i believe fall within the years 1969 rob

[99:29]nice and 1970 so all these come within like a two-year period wow well i mean he died so

[99:37]yeah there's nothing still

[99:40]but still to be alive in 1969 how sweet so the first song this is boz skaggs loan me a dime from

[99:48]1969 check this out listen russell it's june 9th 1969 you know what you're doing

[99:55]guys are we gonna make it to 2069 it's gonna be tight it's gonna be close oh on june 9th 2069

[100:03]i'm gonna call you guys i'm gonna be 69 and in space we're just gonna be spinning around

[100:08]oh my god 69 in space i didn't even think about that

[100:13]so all men had been playing outside of the muscle shoals group for a while and then they

[100:18]persuade him to come back play with boz skaggs on this we've talked about this before his guitar

[100:23]sounds like it's talking to you isn't it take me to your muff eater that's what an alien would say

[100:31]if it's all you doing that on june 9th next song on the list we've talked about this one before

[100:36]this is one of the original records that is up on june 9th and it's called take me to your muff eater

[100:38]on up by my player i got this from my mom's house it's from push push it's herbie man the song is

[100:44]what i'd say oh wow i saw the cover of this russell when you emailed it to me and i was like

[100:50]goddamn herbie man still got it these guys the cover of this herbie man see that chest of course

[100:56]herbie man uh classical from our early episodes look at the chest hair and stuff like that i mean

[101:04]this guy if you look at this album cover i have them i mean it's

[101:08]to be a guy in the 70s and be sexy it was not hard do you have a face and a hairline okay it

[101:16]doesn't matter what it is do you have any sort of body hair yeah you don't care about what your body

[101:20]looks like i mean herbie man has he ever worked out a day in his life look at this guy he's played

[101:26]the flute and made love to exotic women from around the world i guarantee this guy has made

[101:32]love to women that don't speak english you know that's true you know that's true sign

[101:38]of a true cox listen to him listen to him play that flute they want to know how that tongue works

[101:43]can you imagine you're spinning around in space with herbie man with that embouchure i'm sure to

[101:50]come next song on the list this is johnny jenkins i walk on gilded splinters check this out walk on

[101:59]gilded splinters if i die and that's the last thing i say aaron well worth it 100

[102:08]oh what is this russell i like this johnny jenkins 1970 again who's johnny jenkins playing with johnny

[102:15]jenkins johnny jenkins said my brother played his ass off in this his dobra work on this song

[102:21]was just flat out evil yeah is that any better right god if my sister had to admit that like

[102:28]my one of my podcast episodes was so fucking funny that would be so satisfying evil oh i'd

[102:33]put that in my wikipedia page that i'm gonna make all right next song on the list i don't know if

[102:38]we talked about him before maybe once or twice on the list it's king curtis the song is the weight

[102:42]is this from live at the film work i'm not sure we have to have talked about king curtis right

[102:49]didn't he play on some aretha albums i think once yeah he played on the aretha album oh did he die

[102:54]of a heart attack i think so then i know we've talked about him that's unfortunate that i know

[103:00]so this song is famous it's kind of got kurt king curtis and the horns going back and forth with

[103:06]all men

[103:07]oh yeah you hear that this here's the wildest thing about that yeah wildest thing about this

[103:17]1969 he plays the way with king curtis he comes back in 1970 it does the same damn song

[103:23]with aretha play the aretha version

[103:25]wow there's the same damn opening why not if it worked once it works again

[103:32]my damn this guy's a killer this is awesome isn't it

[103:37]yeah this is a banger back years to play to the same song like we've got a whole other uh

[103:46]trisha yearwood thing going on this is crazy

[103:48]ah this is good what's this other time stamp he gave me for this russell

[103:51]oh yeah just a little more aretha

[103:56]damn and there's this guitar back there just singing to you isn't it

[104:02]i did have to look at i want to correct the record king curtis uh we did memphis souls too

[104:07]and he did not have a heart attack he was stabbed

[104:09]oh that's right outside of the brownstone and and the weight was written by the band

[104:15]and we lost our very last member of the band there's no longer a really the band

[104:19]he died he died there's no more members not important how celebrities die guys

[104:27]he's just he's old so he's old what band was that

[104:32]the band who who uh oh

[104:37]i'm sorry i stepped on your joke wait i'm sorry it's not a band yes

[104:43]last song on the list is from 1969 we've been talking i mentioned the beatles earlier but this

[104:49]is wilson pickett hey g you check out the guitar oh

[104:52]shout out to my new nephew

[105:00]his name is wilson yeah

[105:07]he's ripping it

[105:18]so the most interesting thing about this is eric clapton eric clapton hears this

[105:24]he hears this song in 1969 he's like who is that guitar player so he reaches out to atlantic

[105:31]records to say who is the guy playing the guitar at the end of the wilson pickett song and he that's

[105:36]how he gets to the end of the song he gets to the end of the song and he gets to the end of the song

[105:37]he gets connected with dwayne allman and so he said to this day i've never heard a better rock

[105:41]guitar playing on an r&b record than dwayne allman it's the best if that's coming from eric clapton

[105:47]you might not like the guy but if he's giving you props on your guitar you gotta take that

[105:51]wow that would be getting a call as a guitar player from eric clapton would be like if i was

[106:00]at work and they're like rob there's a big balls mcgee on the line for you one of the greatest

[106:07]man i was gonna wait for it but i was gonna say you know you you brought it up russell that the

[106:12]uh you know whether you like eric clapton or not if we're gonna get into some of these songs now

[106:18]we've already heard a few if this guy is going after one of his best friend's wives this hard

[106:23]you just know he's a dick i mean that's like the biggest thing right there but even before he gets

[106:28]into all the political stuff and you know whatever else but the amount of the amount of many songs

[106:35]that this guy has going after his buddy's wife is just pathetic it's at but they're great songs

[106:40]it's unbelievably bizarre but it's also pathetic now i would say like if it turned out he was on

[106:46]a text chain with some of the wives and then they like started texting on the side that would be

[106:50]okay maybe that happens that's fine i rob did also make a comment about how he thought aaron's wife

[106:58]making the sex the matumbo joke was very attractive i can't say no to that if my wife said that i'd be

[107:04]like oof

[107:04]let me make you some lunch gotta go jack off into the toilet why does love got to be so sad

[107:10]gosh that's when you know it's medical you don't even like it

[107:15]this is very cream to me this sounds a lot like cream okay yeah

[107:18]next up we got a song originally by billy miles have you ever loved a woman

[107:25]oh yeah and i think i i want to like say out loud what i think is despicable about clapton while i

[107:34]love how great this music is he was openly racist about yep people of color while outright using

[107:43]their music to become a star and how he could not how he could how he could say the things he said

[107:48]about keeping england white on one side on one hand and then play this music and take from this

[107:54]culture and not be able to give back to it is deplorable so that said you know i think it's

[108:00]important to acknowledge why we all also listen to and rip on the guitar

[108:04]it's crazy isn't it yeah he's good at his craft he's good at it some of us you will notice

[108:10]celebrated dwayne allman on this record list about him instead i like it i like it russell

[108:16]little wing now of course this was a hendrix song put onto the album as a tribute because

[108:22]hendrix had already died uh this was released on the b side of bell bottom jeans i believe

[108:28]yep this song actually won a grammy for stevie ray vaughn's album in 93 did you realize his big

[108:34]album in 93 with a posthumous album he had already passed away and then i don't want to even tell you

[108:40]how he passed away i thought he died he had passed away i wouldn't i didn't know he had an album come

[108:43]out in the 90s yeah his big album was out after all that stuff posthumous album wow yeah hot take

[108:49]i don't think i know any stevie ray vaughn songs i know is it texas flood or is like the famous

[108:54]one or but like i if you played it for me i wouldn't know any of his songs would you guys

[108:59]oh i think you would know old shot at least a handful of them can i can i say i use a lot of

[109:04]music i use a run with a guy who all he listened to is stevie ray vaughn all the time i know all

[109:09]these songs like pride joy you would know i'm i mean this is rob when you say run was like that

[109:16]like running or like you hang out at perkins we were in a we were in a band together oh like

[109:22]running like ripping and running like so he would play all these songs yeah i do do this he would

[109:26]play these songs and i would be on bass like i can't play any of this shit next up it's too late

[109:34]oh i wrote i hate this next to this one play are you gonna play here while i read this all right

[109:39]on monday august 27 1990 at 12 50 a.m vaughn and members of eric clapton's touring entourage

[109:47]played an all-star encore jam session at alpine valley east troy wisconsin i saw pearl jam there

[109:53]they then left for midway international airport in chicago in a bell 206b helicopter

[109:59]oh it was a helicopter way for them to exit oh wow only one road the helicopter crashed

[110:04]into a nearby skiel shortly after so wow yeah with air clapton's touring band crazy this was

[110:11]an otis redding song right i don't know if otis wrote it though he recorded it first

[110:14]and then kanye sampled speaking of deplorable people wow the big boy on this album layla

[110:22]the song of course was inspired by her secret love for paddy boyd now listen to this

[110:27]after this album george harrison and boyd divorced clapton and

[110:33]boyd russell you realize they got married they actually married he married the girl he sang

[110:38]songs about russell this is the exact opposite of your mixing situation honeymoon at cole's resort

[110:43]wow and was harrison good with it harrison was not bitter about the divorce he attended

[110:50]clapton's wedding with ringo starr and paul mccartney now i gotta say guys

[110:55]me attending my wife's next wedding pretty erotic i gotta say because it's one of those times where

[111:02]you just don't know what's going on because it's one of those times where you just know

[111:03]you know what i mean we talk about couples knowing when couples have sex

[111:08]that's one of those nights this is up there with hello i'm johnny cash for like

[111:12]phrases i remember from a live show where he says see if you can spot this one and then he

[111:17]plays it and the crowd goes nuts like i listen to that upload the album so many times tons

[111:21]russell another song about paddy boyd wonderful tonight he wrote oh

[111:26]then after he writes this song he goes back to the album he hears jim gordon playing a piano piece

[111:34]and it was actually written by jim jordan's girlfriend who never got credit for it

[111:38]and that's why the song has the world's what i call the world's shittiest ending

[111:42]where it's just a piano thing playing into oblivion nobody likes that part

[111:46]i love that part and there's one there's one one reason i really love it is because of goodfellas

[111:52]you know and they play it at the end of goodfellas and there's that piano part

[111:56]plays right into it it's awesome at the end of goodfellas because we've talked about this before

[112:02]and i was i love this kind of thing because we've talked about a list maybe once where it's like two

[112:06]songs in one or something like that i was like is that i was looking it wasn't we we talked about

[112:12]this song once before on the sex pistols never mind the bollocks wow and that was on a list

[112:19]about the best songs ever where the artists or band only had one album

[112:25]that's a good list russell dominoes russell who else is on that list layla was number one yeah we

[112:32]had jeff buckley hallelujah wow good call he died the laws there she goes oh yeah okay mad villain

[112:40]oh yes meat grinder tripping off the meat grinder and then the last one mad it was temple of the dog

[112:46]hunger story i guess the last song russell we we always think we're still figuring out this

[112:52]podcast thing it turns out we've been turning out gold for years we know exactly what

[112:56]we're doing yeah coming up on five years this summer speaking of that episode rob if you want

[113:01]some notes yeah please the greatest hits we did have a greatest hits on the sex pistols episode it

[113:06]was rob comparing sex to a peloton ride yeah because i'm real close to the camera i'm getting

[113:13]sweaty i'm in your face i'm trying to turn down the resistance but it keeps going up yes

[113:20]and then you also had a parody song about uh feet make air and cream if you do remember that one

[113:26]wow not his only parody song about aaron and feet yeah but instead of big air and cream i remember

[113:32]that's how it started what a great song uh also uh we had a bex caller that is annoyed that aaron

[113:39]is patronizing over some elliott whitmore guy i don't remember that oh wow he's the one who wrote

[113:44]black eye with dirt we always talk about him russell looking at matt we've got to conclude this

[113:52]russell say what you said about i'm going to play the last song

[113:56]thorn tree in the garden and you say what you said about the beatles

[113:59]what's going on oh what the i talked about this this is the last song you said your

[114:06]about the beatles that you were going to say some of these songs are better than the beatles songs

[114:10]listen to this what is this why did you put it i'm so confused yeah i don't know

[114:17]this feels like a favor to somebody right but then i figured it out aaron

[114:21]i did a little investigating i went into my mind palace

[114:24]and i remembered where are i

[114:26]else have i heard the worst closing song on an album of all time because this is terrible yeah

[114:32]right this is awful like this this this shouldn't be on the album this sounds like it's on that love

[114:36]album we did this is awful do you remember the closing song on disraeli gears mother's lament

[114:45]which makes a thorn tree in the garden looks like god's gift to earth wow

[114:52]great callback

[114:55]if this was a sex dice it would say lick shots because this song licks my nuts

[115:02]but isn't that a beatles it's the same thing no stop don't say that this is not the beatles listen

[115:09]to this this is terrible it's like god bless the queen or whatever they put at the end of that one

[115:13]it's crazy it turns out the poor little thing was so skinny first of all that was a good song

[115:21]turns out eric clapton just sucks at putting last songs on his album

[115:25]it's a that is a thing he does how do you not finish with leila at the end absolutely

[115:29]it's crazy after leila yeah especially with that piano outro the titular track just finished with

[115:35]the tip just hang out on the titular track if you're popular you know what i just realized i

[115:40]went back in my mind palace and i realized we're kind of the opposite of eric clapton because our

[115:45]strongest parts of our shows are always the end and a lot of people don't realize it for some

[115:49]reason they don't seem to mention the parts of the end they don't talk about the parts of the end or

[115:53]say what happened at the parts of the end they're always the strongest parts now right now we're all

[115:58]going to put our hands up to our cameras and we're going to promise to make this the strongest part

[116:02]of the show i was looking at you know actually maybe the strongest show i've ever had might have

[116:06]been the sex pistols check out these two back to back yes russ moments gotta hear it sid vicious

[116:11]versus and that's so much first ever entry of back mongolian chop squad on the sex pistols that is

[116:21]the russ episode like that's my grammy nomination it's crazy that almost every episode we pull up

[116:26]has some huge transcendent moment for the show and we had no idea at the time absolutely no idea like

[116:32]if you went back and listened to the first big i'm a big fan you'd be like what this is stupid

[116:36]we didn't know we were launching at the time yeah listen unfortunately we don't care about the music

[116:42]okay we don't care about that we care about the list and of course right now derek and the dominoes

[116:49]with their only album ever

[116:51]okay uh layla and assorted love songs by the way what do we think of that title

[116:55]layla and assorted love songs great have a fun one i gotta admit also the cover is kind of an epic

[117:03]cover yeah to an album is it not it's very colorful or i don't know what about it something

[117:08]about it is it feels big it almost looks like a dolly painting or something it's kind of crazy

[117:13]do we think this album should be at two and don't erin don't be so fucking surprised that i said

[117:18]salvador dolly at the end of this podcast okay i know

[117:21]lots of artists and we've talked about this before van gogh

[117:24]uh we're up to album 226 carnavaggio oh the sculptor see now you're going sculptors erin

[117:32]that's crazy to me up to 226 okay oh duchamp oh oh i'm sorry russell you don't think a urinal in a

[117:39]museum is art well guess what that's the whole fucking point oh is this snow shovel art okay

[117:48]brilliant

[117:48]226

[117:51]okay does this belong at 226 if it does it is a rolling well toned okay this is a perfect place

[117:59]to have air clapped on the list for the first time somehow okay even though we've already seen

[118:04]all the bits from the earlier show is this should be lower on the list therefore a higher number

[118:08]and we are going to get to it in the future okay now what would the future entail okay

[118:14]will mind palace become a running bit that we do for the next 100 episodes who knows 69 in space

[118:21]that could be there too we're all thinking it

[118:23]and that's where we'd see this album if you thought this was a rolling

[118:28]groan you did not like it we're just gonna hit one little groan here

[118:31]okay still have to go back and find that erin one uh or do you love this album listen

[118:36]matt loves it and matt's a really smart guy this has a perfect song that's on this

[118:43]all right so this definitely should be higher up on the list it got rolling

[118:46]boned okay this is when you open up your sherry's berries and you're like oh my god this is a rolling bone

[118:51]there's only seven what's seven how can i even split that why would you make seven why would

[118:56]you send me seven that's an insane number of berries to send this is happening more and more

[119:00]restaurants you go to where they bring out like three servings of mozzarella sticks why the fuck

[119:05]would they ever put an odd number it's so ridiculous what do they think we're doing here

[119:10]you know you're causing problems they're doing the joke they're bringing everything out in

[119:14]fibonacci sequence that's a great point oh the pleasure principle is loving that one

[119:19]wow no squares now except seven's not in the fibonacci sequence it's five into eight don't

[119:26]get me started sorry okay put another fibonacci on my bed post three five eight thirteen yeah

[119:33]sorry i'm gonna put a fibonacci on my bed post to make it go around every

[119:37]now and that was a good fibonacci sequence joke for everybody out there

[119:42]this is a prime number though so maybe it's all primes

[119:45]fibonacci fibonacci worry

[119:49]hey you'll be here about when he went to italy and he tried some pasta fibonacci

[119:59]yum yum give me that stuff just kidding nobody's favorite pasta is gnocchi although

[120:04]i did have some gnocchi at suzanne's house the other day from gnocchi on ninth

[120:08]how did they come up with that name they were i don't know but they're on seventh avenue it's a

[120:13]big ripoff but it was good it was good gnocchi but the thing about gnocchi is is that she gave

[120:18]me a little bowl of gnocchi and she gave me a little bowl of gnocchi and i was like oh my god

[120:19]you eat a little bowl of gnocchi you're full that is dead there's potatoes in there

[120:25]she's like do you want to take some gnocchi home i was like absolutely gnocchi i do not want to

[120:29]take it home i am already so full i can never eat gnocchi again for the rest of my life i think

[120:33]there's some still in me i think it's going to be like king tut where they cut me open at the end of

[120:37]their gnocchi at least she got you store-bought stuff this time i can't get over how she makes

[120:43]you eat her homemade homemade birdies and it's a carrot cake too the most insane cake to make it home

[120:48]now

[120:49]don't worry this is the end so she's definitely going to be listening it's everybody's favorite

[120:52]part they love it it's patented it's popular aaron what do you think rolling well-toned

[120:55]rolling bone or rolling grown eric and the dominoes yeah another assorted love song i

[120:59]don't understand uh clapton's worldview or the things that he said uh after making this music

[121:05]but um i think it's great music and i think it's better than a lot of what we've already heard um

[121:12]it's some musicians at the top of their game and playing great stuff so i've got to give it a

[121:17]rolling grown no sorry

[121:19]rolling boned sorry rolling bone this oh be careful yeah yeah okay do you want me to explain

[121:23]it again i can explain no no no i meant to say rolling bone should have been this this did pass

[121:28]the jenny listening to it in the living room while on instagram test which is i played it and she

[121:33]didn't say stop please stop yeah it's a big step to do big test so it must be pretty good matt what

[121:39]do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown uh this is like i think if aliens

[121:45]came down and they said yes give us a rock and roll album this would be like a quintessential

[121:51]like this is what rock and roll is kind of essential you know i don't know like you got

[121:55]some love songs you got some bangers i think the whole album is just one rock and roll banger of an

[122:02]album and somebody texted on the side text chain for the dumb shit listeners and said

[122:09]a while ago that we use banger too much but they thought that for the dixie chicks using

[122:15]was appropriate but i think saying banger right now this is a banger of an album with a bunch of

[122:21]banger songs particularly leila and the ending of leila rob the ending of leila is awesome it's such

[122:28]a good song it's such a good outro it should have ended the album it would have been a great ending

[122:33]to the album to have that as part of the song um i can't get enough of this i i don't remember

[122:38]listening to it the first time i listened through i must have been like on going quick or something

[122:43]like that because i will come back to this album

[122:45]time and time again this is a top 100 album for sure for me but um you know i think so this is

[122:51]definitely rolling bone should have been way higher in the list just gotta tell you guys

[122:54]double albums i still think they should be illegal you cut this down to a single album it's

[122:58]hits it's hits hits what if they cut out the wrong stuff if they cut out any day i don't want any

[123:03]part you're telling me you're telling me that this album is just going i'll just write all the ones

[123:07]where i said suck my balls on it okay you're telling me you go from i am yours you're being

[123:11]selective you're but you've already we've already determined that clap that doesn't

[123:15]the best judgment he probably picks the wrong this one it just says i hate this

[123:19]i hate this and then to this one that says this sucks so bad

[123:24]i mean that's not your write-out russell they could have they could have kept those songs and

[123:30]cut layla and bell-bottom blues you're totally right yeah they don't know that's different take

[123:35]i don't mind i don't mind that one at the end there i think it's that guy whitworth or whatever

[123:39]he's the one singing right and he's on the whole album writing the whole album for him so he's just

[123:44]throwing him a bone and he's like i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with this

[123:45]at the end to put his song on i don't mind it i don't mind it that is the sign that somebody is

[123:50]on heroin uh russell what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling groan it's

[123:54]like how they had to i think this is a this is a killer you know what i would say my my only

[123:59]hesitation when i'm putting this way higher is there are five covers on this right that are just

[124:04]straight cover true so that that to me we we hear a lot of albums that have samples and stuff i

[124:10]don't know that we've heard that many that have that many covers yeah in the top 250.

[124:15]broad stewart might be the only other one right that's the one that comes to mind it's not very

[124:19]mad about rod stewart i forgot we fucking did that album yeah jesus christ but yeah you're right

[124:24]right russell i mean i would say led zeppelin is what this is similar to yeah sure this this kills

[124:32]though like if you put this on you you got your new record player your whatever it's called and

[124:37]you've got it zoned in on the two dials the toner arm thing aaron yes like you put this on no one's

[124:42]this kills this slay that's great music it's a banger it's got

[124:45]it's got all-time songs like if you think about matt picked the perfect song bell bottom blues

[124:49]it's fantastic i had a favorite song any day which i think is a great song too

[124:54]you've got those two and layla's on there that's like an all-time like that's got to be on anyone's

[125:00]top 50 you got all those songs good i don't think the weak weak things are enough to knock it off

[125:07]rob so i'm going to say it's rolling grown rolling bone it should be way higher in the

[125:10]guys need a lesson hey you know what here's the thing

[125:15]some dice on one dice it says rolling on the other one it says bone it says grown

[125:20]grown was that the other one you know the only thing i will say though about this too

[125:26]i'm going to pile on what aaron said a little bit earlier

[125:29]there's plenty of artists we've listened to that are probably bad people

[125:33]and we don't typically go into that whole thing here but when you're a bad person about the music

[125:39]that is making you that seems it's crappy right and so that's tough yes and i feel like sometimes

[125:45]when people are horseshit people have done bad things we're not talking about that we're not

[125:49]getting into that but i there's something that doesn't feel right when the thing that's making

[125:53]you a star is the thing that you're not giving appreciation yeah yeah so that's the only thing

[125:58]that kind of cuts against it for an album of michael jackson singing children's songs would

[126:02]not make this list i will say if you want to go back and re-watch that uh that halftime show

[126:09]it's a pretty epic halftime show and then you've got about a thousand kids standing on stage with

[126:13]him and it gets fucking oh that's oh i feel the world or whatever that song then he's like i'm

[126:20]glad i have my hair i'll never burn it off all right now of course he did in a pepsi commercial

[126:26]which is also very funny to get badly burned in a for pepsi i do it for coke not even mountain dew

[126:32]yeah i mean maybe a diet coke they'd be like we could burn a little of your scalp i'd be like yeah

[126:36]sure no problem i love diet coke for pepsi god i wouldn't even come indoors for a pepsi disgusting

[126:42]i had edited out last week

[126:43]but i'm going to say it again it tastes like cardboard rob has anyone ever gone to a restaurant

[126:48]and you go i'll have a coke and they're like we have pepsi products has anyone ever asked for a

[126:52]pepsi product other than mountain dew and you know what's sick you know why why the world is sick

[126:57]russell coke has mellow yellow and pepsi has mountain dew we should just have one soda

[127:04]conglomerate and they just have mountain dew and diet coke and that's it the world would be better

[127:08]mellow yellow get that shit out of here what's dr pepper

[127:13]the coke or that's that no that's actually owned by green mountain russell so this is a little bit

[127:18]of business that i hope i have a friend who works there and he was making dr pepper pods for the

[127:22]green mountain coffee machines but if you go to or if you go to like a game or you go to a restaurant

[127:26]they've got they got that on there with coke or pepsi right i assume it's the same company as

[127:30]barks i mean who knows who these geniuses are who just own one company imagine barks and being like

[127:37]hey we're competing with dad's root beer you're competing with dad's root beer what

[127:43]wait is a and w not in the picture anymore you cannot y'all a and w is so far ahead of the

[127:48]maron that's crazy that you would bring up a and w in the same conversation with dad i was confused

[127:52]yeah you could have skipped over the big one yeah i mean that's like dr pepper being like

[127:57]what about rc cola shut the fuck up about rc cola it's gone royal crown now unfortunately

[128:04]you guys are incorrect this gets it no this gets a rolling horny for the wife of george harrisone

[128:10]harrisone

[128:12]damn this guy has a crush on his friend's wives which is the opposite of me because i'm hated by

[128:18]all my friends wives they can't stand me they think i'm a bad influence they know

[128:23]they're his own i want you to ignore what i just said about me being a bad influence and i want you

[128:30]to think about this can you imagine how good that first bust felt for clafton when he got with patty

[128:36]boyd like that first one he wrote leila he wrote bell bottom blues he wrote you look wonderful

[128:40]tonight and finally he wrote you look wonderful tonight and finally he wrote you look wonderful

[128:42]he's going full on deep dicking her like crazy oh my god that had to be the bust of a century

[128:48]or do you think you think it was one where like somebody knocked on the door right at the wrong

[128:53]time he's like oh he's like oh what this is what this was for what if it was steven tyler knocking

[128:59]on the door at the wrong time oh and a kabuki mask why does he have a kabuki mask on it doesn't make

[129:05]any sense why is that my thing now robbie immediately afterwards he's got to think this was not worth it

[129:12]right oh no i i have best go for like my best friend you know when she's walking down the aisle

[129:18]he's like oh damn this is this this went too far i just listen i didn't sign up for this the

[129:26]forbidden fruit is one thing but we just want to fuck our friend's wife we don't want to marry them

[129:32]to marry nobody's ever said oh you probably want to marry my wife don't you no nobody's ever accused

[129:37]somebody that are you trying to marry my wife no i'm not trying to marry your wife i'm just trying

[129:42]i don't want to get a long-term relationship where we're now we oh are we going to have our

[129:47]separate bedroom should we split one no i just want to fuck them and not think about like oh

[129:52]what kind of mattress do i get the mattress where's the mattress come from probably it's

[129:55]my new ones i guess i can't have the old mattress for my place i'll i'll help i'll help you out here

[130:01]you're gonna have to cut this whole part just for your own good you're gonna have to you're gonna

[130:06]have to cut it you might as well list which wife yeah you might as well have relations with

[130:12]number one do you want to go five to one you're gonna go one to five listen you're gonna have to

[130:17]cut it all anyways number one wife i would want to sleep with would be mine okay it would be awesome

[130:23]because last night i've been snoring so loud that i slept on the couch last night because i am sick

[130:29]and so i snore and i fell asleep at a doctor's appointment and i snored there too and the lady

[130:33]doing an ultrasound on me woke me up talk about embarrassing well you needed an ultrasound wait

[130:39]you okay what are you getting ultrasounds for

[130:42]oh i'm stronger than ever all right okay yeah i don't know something about my carotid arteries i

[130:47]was like yeah ultrasound them up let's go i was i don't know the cardiologist said you got to come

[130:52]in for another check-in i said okay then there's nothing i was like why am i here why are you

[130:55]stressing me out about stuff yeah you're stressing me out blood pressure is 120 over 80 every time

[131:00]here and i feel great god love it matt speaking of sleeping on the couch so rob what when i came

[131:04]back from vegas and didn't feel good from the the joe flu yeah i got back and i was freezing one

[131:12]day and i was like well maybe you should sleep in the other room and i was like nope i'm too sick

[131:15]i'm sleeping in the main room tonight what do you what do you guys say i feel like aaron take to take

[131:19]the bullet aaron would go sleep in the i usually do the couch yeah i usually do the couch matt i

[131:23]could see doing that too yeah we gotta yeah we gotta pull out this couch right here is a pullout

[131:27]couch i usually flop that thing open russell you were so sick that you took the room you put down

[131:33]stakes in the main room she stayed in the room too but i was like i i don't have it in me to like

[131:37]go sleep in the other bed i was i couldn't guys marry guys let's give it up for russell give it

[131:43]up he's doing what we want to do give it up honestly taking the room is so such a baller

[131:47]move russell god damn that's good well i don't think it was appreciated listen let me just say

[131:54]this do you really have any friends where you're like wow i would love to marry their wife no

[132:00]there's no way right why are you still asking this question i don't know

[132:07]i just cannot imagine meeting somebody like i want to marry that wife it's so crazy to be

[132:10]all right listen next up next week we have the album here's little richard by little richard

[132:18]wow wow okay that's awesome that'll be this should have been the valentine's this should

[132:22]have been the album we did over valentine's day week because last night i got a little

[132:26]wop baba lubop but i wish for more womp bamboo it's terrible why did i write that

[132:32]hey how about this i'm just reading this boy married george harris in 1966

[132:37]but then they they got divorced in 1977 and she didn't marry clapton until 79

[132:43]wow so he was had he had this for like 70 years he's pushing for a long time and they got divorced

[132:51]in 89 i think he was holding out the whole seven years rob waiting oh i'm sure a respectful guy

[132:57]like eric clapton oh my god seven years in tibet crazy oh it'd be crazy

[133:07]matt do you want to give us a killer uh fibonacci sequence joke at the end here

[133:13]uh no that's all right i just want to play i i totally blew it i was gonna have when i was

[133:18]doing my rolling going i was hoping that we could play uh independence day or whatever that song is

[133:24]that kirsten doesn't want to hear so maybe if you got enough time if you if you got enough time you

[133:30]can play that over when i'm talking yeah rob before you do that do play the the drilling out

[133:35]there the song the thing for a few minutes noises okay so wait we're going the saw noises

[133:40]thought we're doing the sound effects the saw sound effects and then we're going to what

[133:45]the trisha yearwood song again sure oh this is why i know we listen to the end we're

[133:50]we're antagonizing people now russell looping it russell real quick okay i'm just gonna um

[133:56]i'm just gonna roll these dice real quick all right what does it say what did i say

[134:03]okay it's so funny now i can't remember what i said

[134:05]god damn it i dropped the ball

[134:08]listen to the end sounds just like what we listen to where's the ding

[134:17]that's what patty boyd said right now oh that was a terrible ending that's what uh

[134:27]that's what uh what's his name jim morrison said this is the end oh my god

[134:35]i gotta we're doing both of those now there that was so much better it's time to say

[134:41]man that's a bummer because i'm with jim morrison and i just rolled two dice and it says

[134:49]put in end he was hoping to get this is the end classic song

[134:56]oh rats i've got two dice here they say ellie and woman on it

[135:02]what's up everybody this is k-rob k-r-o-b listen we're talking about a guy i love his name is

[135:24]aaron and we're gonna talk about something aaron loves oh yeah

[135:32]feet make aaron cream he looks at them constantly he's supposed to be working

[135:44]but to computer pics he's jerking he loves his little toes they really make him blow

[135:53]oh but what really makes his balls blue is some high heel shoes

[136:00]this

[136:02]he really really likes feet he really likes them a lot

[136:07]if you were to send him some feet he would really think that's super hot

[136:14]when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time

[136:19]but you're just too lazy to look it up online

[136:23]if you want to hear four guys who chat and then they get off track

[136:29]i've got the perfect podcast for you jack

[136:34]beck did it better