Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes (1992)

[00:00]In 2024, friends decided to listen to it.

[00:02]What's that?

[00:04]You got to have a song.

[00:06]Crepes, we can't get rid of that bit already.

[00:08]You can't, okay, can I just say this?

[00:10]What?

[00:11]You can't say you got to have a song.

[00:14]It's called production, Rob.

[00:16]We need to have, I know, we need to have suggestions.

[00:18]We need to have helpful things, not like, oh, Rob, you're missing this.

[00:21]By the way, no parody songs for the next two weeks.

[00:24]How about we go with, let's go with, let's go with.

[00:28]Cheers.

[00:30]The Sopranos today.

[00:31]Oh, my God.

[00:32]This is by Alabama 3?

[00:33]Yeah.

[00:34]Now, listen, I must have, now, I know that you guys are not going to know what joke is coming.

[00:39]This song is by, oh, God, I made my voice worse.

[00:45]What is this?

[00:46]Are you hearing it?

[00:47]What is this?

[00:50]Is this the, yeah, okay.

[00:55]This is the full song.

[00:58]This is the full song.

[01:00]This, this, this song is by Alabama 3.

[01:05]I, I must have missed Alabama 2.

[01:10]I mean, Dixieland Delighter?

[01:13]Is that, is that the one at the water park, Alabama 3?

[01:18]What?

[01:21]Walk between, walk, oh.

[01:23]Oh, do you mean Jaws 3D, Aaron?

[01:27]Where the shark is at many moments.

[01:30]Coming towards you?

[01:30]Or like a leg is coming towards you?

[01:32]Now, if you think I have, if you think I don't have Jaws 3D on my plex, you are incorrect.

[01:36]All right.

[01:37]You are incorrect.

[01:39]I do.

[01:39]All right.

[01:41]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided

[01:46]by Rolling Stone Magazine.

[01:47]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us

[01:52]to making this podcast.

[01:52]We are far from experts.

[01:54]We promise to do almost no research.

[01:55]All opinions are our own unless you disagree.

[01:58]Please sit back and enjoy.

[02:00]Boy, Beck did it better.

[02:01]Now, I've got to, I've got to reduce the music.

[02:05]I, you know what?

[02:06]It's loud.

[02:07]Can I just say this?

[02:08]If you say what I think you're going to say, I, I might drop off the, the, I, I know what

[02:14]you're about to say and I don't want to hear it.

[02:16]I'd be, I'd be okay with that, Russ.

[02:18]We should, we could just end it.

[02:19]We could just, we could.

[02:20]Let's hear the ding.

[02:21]Let's hear the ding.

[02:22]I've never cared for that theme song.

[02:23]Oh, I was going to say the show.

[02:25]If you were going to have an issue with the show, we were going to have an issue.

[02:27]No.

[02:27]I, the, the episode, the episode I think about all the time is the one where they get the

[02:32]metal terminator and they make him sell all the stuff from his sporting goods store because

[02:38]he was like in gambling debt.

[02:39]And I was like.

[02:40]Bankrupt him out, right?

[02:41]I was like, oh, oh, I just kept thinking like, what if that was me?

[02:44]What if that was me?

[02:45]Now, for a number of reasons, that is not me.

[02:47]I would never be competent enough to own a store in the first place.

[02:51]Okay.

[02:52]Especially a sporting goods store.

[02:53]In New Jersey.

[02:54]Where I could just be trying putters all day.

[02:56]Give me a break.

[02:56]I'd be so busy.

[02:57]Would you do me a favor, Rob?

[02:58]What?

[02:59]Would you play Got Yourself a Gun by Nas?

[03:01]Yeah.

[03:04]Is it them?

[03:04]Is it the Alabama Three or is it something else?

[03:06]This might, you know what this might be?

[03:08]It's, uh, it's like an interpolation.

[03:12]Yeah.

[03:12]So I don't know if it's like before or after the Sopranos.

[03:16]It's like I interpret.

[03:18]It says it 14 years ago.

[03:20]That's the gabagool, Aaron.

[03:21]That's the gabagool.

[03:22]I interpolated that.

[03:25]Because I didn't know.

[03:26]The Sopranos one was at least.

[03:27]The Sopranos one was at least.

[03:27]The Sopranos one was at least.

[03:27]The Sopranos one was at least.

[03:27]The Sopranos one was at least.

[03:27]The Sopranos one was at least 27, 28 years ago.

[03:30]So I think.

[03:30]It says copyright 2001.

[03:33]Yeah, that sounds right.

[03:34]Because it's still Matic.

[03:35]The Sopranos was what?

[03:37]899?

[03:39]898?

[03:40]So he was popping a wheelie on the side guys with this song.

[03:43]I didn't know that because I didn't know the Sopranos at the time.

[03:45]Okay, so I wrote Sopranos.

[03:48]Okay, so I was searching.

[03:50]So obviously.

[03:51]I was searching Sopranos and now I found out that Sopranos, S-P-O-R-R-A-N-S, are pouches worn with kilts.

[03:57]Hey, did you guys know that by the way?

[03:59]That's what those pouches are called?

[04:00]Sporans?

[04:01]So it turns out Sporans were shown in the 17th and 18th century.

[04:05]So I'm going to say this Nas song did come later.

[04:07]Oh, we are the Sporans podcast.

[04:10]This is your best Sporans podcast.

[04:11]Oh my God, we're the best.

[04:13]I was just going to repeat it.

[04:15]Yeah, 1999 to 2007.

[04:17]So he got right on it though.

[04:18]2001, he was right there.

[04:20]He was right in it.

[04:21]Thank you for the brief musical detour.

[04:23]Yeah, he was like, I know what this hurting country needs right now.

[04:26]And that is a cover of the Sopranos.

[04:27]Sopranos song.

[04:28]They pull us together.

[04:29]That and a strike of a first pitch.

[04:33]Yeah, I just went by and I looked out and I saw Donald Trump looking at people who were cheering in the streets.

[04:38]It was crazy.

[04:38]All right, we are up to album 233.

[04:42]And from 1992, we have Tori Amos with Little Earthquakes.

[04:45]Oh, shit.

[04:47]Guys, I just realized I listened to the wrong album.

[04:50]I listened to Tori Hunter's album.

[04:52]It's called I'm a Piece of Shit.

[04:54]Isn't that crazy?

[04:55]Isn't that wild?

[04:57]You would call it that?

[04:58]Tori Hunter's a homophobe.

[05:01]Doesn't matter if he's in the ring of fame.

[05:02]Doesn't matter.

[05:03]It's just a reminder to everybody.

[05:04]All right.

[05:05]Now that I brought the podcast down a number of times before we've gotten to the main jokes.

[05:09]At least if you did listen to the wrong album, at least you should have a parody for the right one.

[05:13]So hit the parody.

[05:14]Hit the music.

[05:15]Hit the music.

[05:16]Oh, see, look at that.

[05:17]Parody song?

[05:18]No, I don't have a parody song.

[05:20]I already said that.

[05:20]I have no parody song.

[05:21]Have you listened to this album?

[05:23]This is the point of the podcast history where Rob gets too lazy.

[05:27]He gets too lazy to do parodies.

[05:28]There's a lot of melody on this.

[05:30]This is when we're on the downside of the roller coaster right now.

[05:33]The thing is, though, I will say, Rob, you're never sure on this album if you might be trampling on somebody's favorite song that means something to them.

[05:43]You want to be careful about that.

[05:44]Oh, that stopped him before?

[05:45]What are we talking about?

[05:46]Trust me.

[05:47]When I was reading what these songs were about, I was like, I don't know if this is the best album for us to be covering.

[05:52]Zero joke podcast.

[05:52]Yeah.

[05:53]This is actually all very serious.

[05:56]Okay.

[05:56]This is a very.

[05:57]See, we could have started without it.

[05:59]We didn't need Aaron's laugh on this.

[06:01]Yeah, we did.

[06:01]Aaron's actually doing the anti Aaron right now.

[06:04]He's trying to he's trying to show us why I'm not being there in the beginning.

[06:07]The podcast is actually a good thing.

[06:08]I don't sweep the kitchen very well.

[06:10]Then my wife has stopped asking me to sweep the kitchen.

[06:12]She's still asking you to sweep the leg.

[06:14]Oh, sweet.

[06:16]Okay.

[06:17]Wait a minute.

[06:18]Come on, Rob.

[06:18]It's going to be a good joke.

[06:19]Put him in a body bag.

[06:20]Damn it.

[06:22]Okay.

[06:23]I always wondered that, too.

[06:25]I was like, really?

[06:25]Mr. Miyagi is not going to show him how to sweep the leg.

[06:27]And then.

[06:27]And then all of a sudden you played the Karate Kid video game on Nintendo.

[06:29]And guess what you could do?

[06:30]Kick down at the legs.

[06:32]I was like this and also catch flies with the chopsticks.

[06:35]You guys remember that?

[06:36]That was the bonus screen.

[06:37]I was like, can you imagine?

[06:39]Can you imagine being my parents and you come downstairs and I'm spending

[06:43]hours trying to catch video game flies with video game chopsticks for what?

[06:49]I don't know.

[06:49]I can't remember if it was an extra like half heart you got or what the

[06:52]deal was, but Rob, when you and your wife do weightlifting events,

[06:55]when you have to like shave, do you guys wax?

[06:57]Wax on and wax off.

[06:58]So that seems and listen, Russ, I appreciate the hustle.

[07:04]Okay.

[07:04]I had to make a stretch to tell a joke before.

[07:06]Absolutely.

[07:07]But you have to know you've seen me.

[07:10]You have to know that I don't shave for a power.

[07:12]We got to remember, Rob, I got rid of Facebook about five, six years ago

[07:16]because all I was seeing was your guys power lifting stuff.

[07:19]So I really don't know what you look like at power lifting.

[07:22]Well, I, to be honest, I don't remember that you actually got rid of it.

[07:25]I remember you saying you saw us all the time and I was like,

[07:27]Oh, that's kind of nice.

[07:28]And now I realized that that was an impetus for you to jettison it all

[07:32]together.

[07:32]Deactivate.

[07:33]Hey, you should come back.

[07:34]Mark Zuckerberg is actually a pretty great guy.

[07:36]It turns out.

[07:37]All right.

[07:37]He's actually got some cool ideas now that this doesn't have to be so

[07:40]woke anymore.

[07:41]Holding them back.

[07:42]Oh my God.

[07:43]You guys listened to the wrong album.

[07:44]I heard you guys listened to three story Amos.

[07:46]It's a taller three story.

[07:51]Amos would have been a better way of pronouncing that.

[07:53]She's much bigger is what I wrote in my notes.

[07:55]Just in case I wanted a little tag for that joke.

[07:57]She is much bigger is the tag for the joke.

[07:59]It's so hard to think of.

[08:02]Can I tell you what my alternate joke to that was?

[08:04]You're going to.

[08:06]Yeah.

[08:07]Oh, guess what?

[08:08]No, I'm not.

[08:09]Oh, all right.

[08:10]So now, no, you know what?

[08:12]What a brat.

[08:12]What a brat.

[08:13]Beg me, Aaron.

[08:14]Beg me and I'll do it for you.

[08:15]I listened to Tori spelling Amos was about Beverly Hills on a two and

[08:20]oh, remember when everybody was like, oh, she just got that job because

[08:24]her dad ran it.

[08:25]Yeah.

[08:25]No shit.

[08:26]No shit.

[08:27]I would.

[08:27]How about that, too?

[08:28]Are you kidding?

[08:29]God, how would you rank?

[08:31]What was your power rankings?

[08:32]Top five old school 90210 characters.

[08:35]Rob one to five.

[08:36]Who's number one?

[08:37]I don't remember any of them.

[08:39]Who's the guy with the sideburns?

[08:40]Dylan.

[08:41]Luke Perry as Dylan.

[08:43]Okay.

[08:44]I'll take Dylan because I heard he was also in the rodeo.

[08:46]What about the old kind of the old lady who's kind of the geek?

[08:50]Andrea was an Andrea Zuckerman.

[08:52]Listen, you're wow.

[08:54]You're really Beverly Hills 90210.

[08:56]Totally.

[08:57]Missed me a hundred percent, man.

[08:58]You seem like a guy that watched a lot of Beverly Hills now doing all.

[09:01]No, I have no idea.

[09:02]No idea.

[09:04]Russell, we're out.

[09:06]We're out in dangerous waters.

[09:07]Russell, bring us back quick with a show.

[09:09]We've all watched hot take.

[09:10]I could name more old school 90210 characters than I can name current NHL

[09:14]hockey players.

[09:15]How many?

[09:20]How many are there?

[09:21]How many NHL hockey players are there?

[09:23]Oh, how many 90210 people are there?

[09:26]Because, oh, I bet.

[09:27]I think I, I, I'm saying to name that too.

[09:30]And I can go over seven and a half.

[09:33]No, we got away without.

[09:35]You got to hear it now.

[09:36]Either we got to tease it for next week or you got to do it right now.

[09:39]The peach pit is not a character.

[09:41]Okay.

[09:41]That was the club.

[09:42]I am going to say.

[09:43]What about the old guy who runs the peach pit?

[09:45]Max, is that his name or something like that?

[09:47]Max was fucking saved by the bell.

[09:49]You're just, you're off on it.

[09:50]Okay.

[09:51]Yeah.

[09:51]Let me have another chance then.

[09:53]Okay.

[09:53]Okay.

[09:54]Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[09:54]I'm just, let me Beverly.

[09:56]Beverly Hills.

[09:57]Hills.

[09:58]902.

[09:59]We got, we got Brandon is Jason Priestley.

[10:02]I won Perry two is Dylan.

[10:05]Okay.

[10:05]Steve Sanders.

[10:08]Steve Sanders.

[10:10]Sanders.

[10:11]Is that Ian?

[10:12]What's his name?

[10:12]Oh my God.

[10:13]That was, that was Ian Ziering.

[10:15]Okay.

[10:15]Yeah.

[10:15]Brian Austin green.

[10:17]That guy.

[10:18]Oh, okay.

[10:19]But what was his name?

[10:20]He dated Tori spelling.

[10:22]I know.

[10:23]Okay.

[10:24]Yeah.

[10:24]Listen, what was his name though?

[10:25]I don't know.

[10:27]You're at three.

[10:28]We got, uh, is it Brenda?

[10:30]Isn't that Brandon's sister?

[10:32]Brenda Shannon Doherty.

[10:33]Brenda is correct.

[10:35]Nice job.

[10:36]Brenda.

[10:36]Um, Jenny Garth.

[10:38]Okay.

[10:39]Jenny Garth.

[10:40]What's her name though?

[10:41]Russell.

[10:41]Oh shit.

[10:42]Hmm.

[10:43]Can I get a first letter?

[10:45]Uh, K Kelly Kelly.

[10:49]Wow.

[10:49]You're good.

[10:50]Wow.

[10:51]Andrea Zuckerman.

[10:52]Andrea's Andrea Zuckerman.

[10:55]Oh my God.

[10:56]Yes.

[10:56]You're right.

[10:57]Where am I at now?

[10:58]Uh, you're at, uh, I'll say six.

[11:00]I think that's seven, seven, seven.

[11:02]I need a, I need a first letter for Brian Austin green and I'll knock it down.

[11:06]Uh, I was, I was calling that was a David, David, David, David, you're right.

[11:11]David, David, David.

[11:12]Suck it down.

[11:13]Russell.

[11:13]I think the only one, the only one I know, don't ask me how I know this guy.

[11:18]I have no idea how I'd remember this, but I think there was a crossover

[11:21]between saved by the bell and 902 and oh, wasn't there.

[11:24]Are you serious?

[11:25]Are you okay?

[11:27]Wait a minute.

[11:27]Okay.

[11:27]Let's first of all, let's bring this tab down where everybody can see it again.

[11:31]Cause I had it.

[11:31]I'm Kelly.

[11:32]Did Kelly Kapowski in the background during this wasn't a, what's her name?

[11:35]Uh, this Tiffany Amber Thiessen.

[11:38]This is a theme song.

[11:39]Oh yeah.

[11:39]She was on that show a bit.

[11:41]She was on like the later versions, I believe.

[11:43]Right.

[11:43]I remember always being upset because my friends were not as attractive as the 902 and old

[11:49]friends.

[11:49]They seemed like, I was like, is this what my life should be like?

[11:53]I mean, look up.

[11:54]What do you think your friends said about you?

[11:57]I had plenty of stages with sideburns and it never was like a, a sex symbol for me.

[12:02]Yeah.

[12:04]I never had a side.

[12:04]I can't, I still can't grow sideburns.

[12:06]Really?

[12:08]Yeah.

[12:09]Okay.

[12:09]So saved by the bell.

[12:11]No, you know what it was?

[12:13]I just met a Tiffany Amber Thiessen was on both on both.

[12:16]Yeah.

[12:16]And then to remember there was like the 902 and I'll knock off Melrose place.

[12:20]Yeah.

[12:22]Oh, Heather.

[12:24]I can, I can get, I can get three characters.

[12:27]Over three and a half Melrose place characters.

[12:29]No.

[12:30]Okay.

[12:30]No, no, that's crazy.

[12:32]Okay.

[12:32]Wait a minute.

[12:33]Wait a minute.

[12:33]I got a Rose place.

[12:34]Melrose Russell.

[12:36]What is your life?

[12:37]Okay.

[12:37]Well, Rose place.

[12:38]This is like, this was like the biggest shows in the world in like 92, right?

[12:41]Yeah, I know.

[12:42]But I was, this is when I was watching like America's funniest home videos, like a lot.

[12:47]You know what I mean?

[12:48]Like, okay.

[12:49]What, what name I'm Russell?

[12:51]Heather Locklear's character.

[12:53]Okay.

[12:54]Well, okay.

[12:55]Okay.

[12:56]What's her?

[12:56]It starts with an A.

[12:57]Hmm.

[12:58]Close.

[13:00]It's gotta be an Ashley.

[13:01]It's gotta be Ashley.

[13:02]No, it's not Ashley.

[13:02]Oh, can I get a last name letter?

[13:05]Our last name is Woodward.

[13:07]Ooh.

[13:09]Okay.

[13:10]This is a, I don't know.

[13:12]Where's my buzzer?

[13:12]I don't know it.

[13:13]All right.

[13:14]Amanda Woodward.

[13:15]Billy.

[13:18]Billy.

[13:18]Any others?

[13:19]What?

[13:19]Billy.

[13:19]Billy was the guy.

[13:21]Billy Campbell.

[13:22]You are correct.

[13:23]Billy Campbell.

[13:24]Good job.

[13:24]Uh, was.

[13:27]I might be out.

[13:28]There was Dr.

[13:29]Stevie from Grey's Anatomy or whatever.

[13:31]Uh, now you've got, now you're going to like a third show.

[13:37]We're not doing it for a third show.

[13:39]Was the OC, was the OC like the next, uh, was that the next iteration of 90210 and Melrose

[13:46]Place?

[13:47]The OC?

[13:47]That show got, was pretty popular for like, it got Fox for a while, right?

[13:50]I don't think I ever saw it.

[13:51]Yeah.

[13:52]The one with Adam Brody, right?

[13:53]You know who I was?

[13:54]Amanda Woodward, Jake Hanson, Alison Parker, Sidney Andrews.

[13:57]Now listen, you know what I was doing at this time is I was watching that show that was

[14:00]like, uh, Melrose Place for like 40 year olds.

[14:03]What was that show called?

[14:04]It was like 40 something, 40 something nest, not empty nest.

[14:09]I know that's what you're thinking.

[14:10]Listen.

[14:10]Okay.

[14:12]Great, great segment.

[14:13]Uh, let's get, let's get, that was, that was, thank you, Aaron.

[14:16]Okay.

[14:16]You were showing up on time here and this was fantastic.

[14:18]Yeah, I did show up on time.

[14:20]Okay.

[14:21]I can name one character in America's Funniest Home Videos, Bob Saget.

[14:24]Now, and nuts.

[14:26]Uh, I've got.

[14:27]Matt in Minneapolis.

[14:28]Matt, how are you doing?

[14:28]Uh, good, Rob.

[14:30]Nothing I do is good enough.

[14:31]Oh, how did you know that?

[14:35]You're on the, you're on the call earlier with Russell and I, uh, Russell in Minneapolis.

[14:39]Russell, how are you doing?

[14:40]Rob?

[14:40]Give me life.

[14:41]Give me pain.

[14:42]Give me my weekend nights to do something other than this podcast again.

[14:46]Oh, wow.

[14:48]Preach, brother.

[14:49]Preach.

[14:49]Oh, good.

[14:50]And I've got Aaron out in California.

[14:52]Now, Aaron, Aaron, I don't know if you know this, but do you know, you know, Mr. Goodbar?

[14:57]It's a candy bar I secretly like a lot.

[14:59]It's such a weird one.

[15:00]It's just chocolate and peanuts.

[15:02]I know, but it's fun because the peanuts are like, oh, this is a peanut.

[15:05]It's so fun.

[15:05]I'd rather just have peanuts.

[15:06]Are you saying peanuts?

[15:08]Are you saying peanuts?

[15:10]Peanuts.

[15:10]Peanuts.

[15:11]Oh, okay.

[15:12]I thought you were saying something else.

[15:14]Chocolate and something else.

[15:16]Aaron, did you know what the pronouns are for Mr. Goodbar?

[15:18]Her, she.

[15:21]Okay.

[15:24]Her, she.

[15:26]Her, she.

[15:27]Did you get it?

[15:27]Yeah.

[15:27]Well, that's okay, but you get it.

[15:30]Look, we don't have to crucify ourselves.

[15:32]Let's just talk about the album.

[15:33]There we go.

[15:34]All right.

[15:35]Let's get right into the voicemail.

[15:38]That would be a low point as like your life if you're a gas station attendant and like

[15:42]someone comes in and you've got to ring up a Mr. Goodbar.

[15:44]Like it's one thing, it's one thing to help people gas up their cars or get a piece of

[15:49]like a hot dog, but a Mr. Goodbar would be sad and pathetic.

[15:52]I think Good and Plenty's.

[15:54]I think Good and Plenty's is the, that's the,

[15:57]that's the low, low sell those things.

[15:59]Listen, I like those.

[16:00]I don't want to buy one, but I would, I mean,

[16:03]if I get them in a Halloween candy, I'm going to eat them.

[16:05]What the fuck did you just say, Aaron?

[16:07]I said I wouldn't buy a Good and Plenty, but if they got an Halloween candy.

[16:11]First of all, I don't think you can.

[16:13]They just kind of come into being in the ether.

[16:15]I've never seen a Good and Plenty's for sale.

[16:18]You like Good and Plenty's?

[16:20]Yeah.

[16:20]I think kind of licoricey or am I thinking of the wrong thing?

[16:22]No, you are thinking of it's licorice covered in like caulk.

[16:25]It's like the most disgusting candy.

[16:27]Of all time.

[16:27]Caulk?

[16:29]Did you say caulk?

[16:30]Pretty much.

[16:31]I would rather eat that.

[16:33]Back.

[16:34]Oh, okay.

[16:35]Nevermind.

[16:35]I was going to go to my black licorice bit, but I'm not going to.

[16:38]It's like, like white caulk, right?

[16:41]Aren't they white?

[16:42]But yeah, there's multicolored.

[16:44]Some of them are pink.

[16:44]Some of them are brown.

[16:45]Some of them are brown to dark brown.

[16:47]There's pink caulk.

[16:48]Now at the end, it's so bright, hot.

[16:50]Here's the thing.

[16:51]Okay.

[16:53]Let's get into the voicemail.

[16:54]Aaron, pick one or two.

[16:55]Two.

[16:57]Terrible pick.

[16:58]Megan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, posted on her Instagram the following.

[17:04]I did a spin on my grandma's banana pudding recipe, making homemade vanilla pudding, layering

[17:11]in fresh Chantilly cream.

[17:13]Ooh.

[17:14]Doesn't the word Chantilly make you think of that old Big Bopper song?

[17:18]Oh, Megan Markle.

[17:20]Even Megan Markle is a huge fan of the Big Bopper.

[17:23]Yes.

[17:24]Huge fan.

[17:25]Wow.

[17:26]Can you believe it?

[17:27]Oh, baby.

[17:27]Hello.

[17:28]Can you believe?

[17:29]That a caller would know.

[17:32]Duchess is nuts, right, Rob?

[17:33]What I want to hear so bad.

[17:34]Hello?

[17:35]Hello?

[17:36]Hey, baby.

[17:37]It's me, the Big Bopper, baby.

[17:39]My wife is still awake, and she's just going to, I mean, Rob's wife is still awake, and

[17:42]I'm sure she can hear the Big Bopper.

[17:44]This is always the bit that gets her so bad, baby.

[17:46]But I've realized, baby, that lately when I've been calling in, I've been talking a

[17:49]lot about plane crashes, baby, and that's not cool anymore.

[17:52]So instead, what I'm going to talk about was the original Big Bopper bit, the fact that

[17:56]I love Big Bopper.

[17:56]I love pennies.

[17:57]That was one thing about the Big Bopper.

[17:59]Chantilly Lays, stick it in my face.

[18:03]Chantilly Cream.

[18:04]Chantilly Cream, make me, oh.

[18:07]What rhymes with cream?

[18:09]It's right there.

[18:10]What rhymes with cream, baby?

[18:11]But, baby, the main reason I called you, baby, is I have somebody else here who wants to

[18:16]talk to you, baby.

[18:16]We got a guest.

[18:17]Yeah, it's in my, it's in this, it's in this special heaven for people who died in motor

[18:22]vehicle accidents.

[18:23]Let's bring her on right now.

[18:24]Oh, no.

[18:25]No, it's me.

[18:26]It's Princess, Princess Diana, mate.

[18:28]Oh, I knew it.

[18:28]I knew it.

[18:29]I knew it.

[18:30]I knew it.

[18:30]Mate.

[18:32]I just wanted to say, I just wanted to say that Prince Charles was very good at going

[18:39]down on me because his big teeth, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like a xylophone

[18:46]was being rubbed because it was crazy.

[18:47]Isn't he the king now?

[18:49]Oh, yeah.

[18:50]I've been out.

[18:51]I've been dead airing for a long time.

[18:53]Jesus.

[18:54]I was with my...

[18:56]friend, playing a dodie in a car, and we were going so fast, and then something happened,

[19:03]and I can't remember, and I woke up here with the big bopper, and I'm starting to sound a

[19:06]lot like another character, but I can't remember who it was.

[19:09]Dirty granny.

[19:10]How do you feel about your, uh, your, your, is that what your daughter-in-law is now a

[19:15]big fan of the big bopper and chantilly lace?

[19:18]What are your thoughts on that, Di?

[19:20]Can I just tell you, can I, do I want to give me daughter a taste of me nooks?

[19:24]And you know why?

[19:26]I washed her nooks.

[19:26]The Netflix show is terrible.

[19:28]It was awful.

[19:29]And you know what else she was doing for a while?

[19:31]This is the lowest of the low, and I can't believe that any member of the crown would

[19:35]ever want to do this.

[19:36]You know what she was doing for a little bit?

[19:37]What's that?

[19:38]She had a podcast.

[19:39]The worst.

[19:41]She had a podcast.

[19:42]It's the lowest form of entertainment.

[19:44]Any dumb fuck could start a podcast.

[19:46]And you know what the rumor is about Meghan Markle?

[19:49]Let's hear the rumor.

[19:51]She's also on a podcast.

[19:51]The rumor is that she didn't actually do the podcast, and somebody else interviewed the

[19:55]people.

[19:56]And then they put her voice in later, like Space Ghost.

[19:59]Isn't that strange?

[20:00]Isn't that weird, even for Meghan Markle?

[20:03]Meghan Markle.

[20:05]Chris and Diana, are you concerned about the future of British products like Marmalade

[20:10]and Paddington Bear, given the current state of economic affairs?

[20:13]You know what?

[20:21]Actually, I think it's important that a government takes care of its own country first.

[20:26]And that's why I think I'm coming out to say right now that me, Princess Diana, I'm a big

[20:32]Donald Trump fan.

[20:33]He told us there was going to be a little pain with these tariffs, and I think we're

[20:37]doing fine, actually.

[20:38]We can't.

[20:39]We can't.

[20:40]Russell, I'm dead, mate.

[20:43]Why would you not want to talk to me?

[20:44]All right, Princess Diana, you actually have to go.

[20:46]Goodbye.

[20:47]Okay, so we're going to find that harp sound effect that gets you out of here.

[20:50]We need to get a goodbye from the bopper.

[20:52]You can't find the harp sound effect.

[20:53]I can't go.

[20:54]All right, I'm going to go.

[20:56]I'm going to get in my car and drive away.

[20:58]Goodbye.

[20:59]I'm driving this time.

[21:02]It's actually fine.

[21:03]All right.

[21:04]That'll be the last time I ever get a text from someone with something about the podcast

[21:08]and suggest that they should text it instead of texting it to me.

[21:11]That was, no, thank you very much for the voicemail.

[21:16]I have to say, if I could eat Meghan Markle's banana cream pudding, you got to admit that'd

[21:23]be pretty fun.

[21:24]All right.

[21:25]I bet.

[21:26]I love banana cream pudding.

[21:27]It's one.

[21:27]I would say it's a top.

[21:28]I mean, I would say it's the number one pudding to me over chocolate over tapioca.

[21:33]What do you guys think?

[21:35]What's your number one pudding, man?

[21:36]What's your number one pudding?

[21:37]And don't say what I think you're going to say.

[21:39]I don't know if I have.

[21:42]Let me go in the bathroom here real quick.

[21:44]Hey, door is shut.

[21:47]Oh, Matt, what's your favorite?

[21:54]I think you're going to need to edit that.

[21:56]I think you're going to need to edit that a bit.

[21:56]What?

[21:57]The proximity.

[21:58]No.

[21:59]Oh, I see what you're saying.

[22:03]You know what?

[22:04]There's words.

[22:05]You know what?

[22:05]So close together.

[22:06]I'll make that.

[22:06]You know what I'll do is I'll make that space really long, like a minute long.

[22:09]Matt.

[22:10]I'll just go.

[22:12]I don't, I'm not a big pudding person, so I'll go with chocolate pudding.

[22:15]Oh, Russell, what's your favorite kind of pudding?

[22:19]Go to Aaron.

[22:20]Come back to me in one sec.

[22:21]Is there like a, is like lemon curd a pudding?

[22:25]Could that be a thing?

[22:26]Aaron.

[22:27]God damn it, Aaron.

[22:28]God damn it.

[22:29]I mean.

[22:29]I don't know.

[22:31]I think that was Aaron's left hand taking the lead.

[22:34]What the hell is he talking about?

[22:36]Neither one of the other guys are listening to what you're saying.

[22:38]I know.

[22:38]I'm taking it.

[22:40]I don't think it is.

[22:41]But it's like a gladness thing.

[22:42]Lemon curd shares similarities with pudding in its creamy texture.

[22:47]It's not a pudding itself, but rather a custard-like dessert spread or topping,

[22:51]primarily thickened by eggs or butter with a distinct lemon flavor.

[22:55]Aaron, now you know.

[22:56]And I'm not going to repeat it.

[22:57]You know my views on lemon and desserts.

[22:58]Should be illegal.

[22:59]Okay.

[23:00]I think it's a war crime stream.

[23:02]That's the only dessert you will eat.

[23:03]No.

[23:04]Listen, lemon and desserts.

[23:06]Lemon should not be in desserts.

[23:07]You should go to the hag if you like it.

[23:09]Goodbye.

[23:09]You're gone.

[23:10]Wow.

[23:10]Okay.

[23:10]All right.

[23:11]Well, then that's, I guess that's where we're at then.

[23:13]Yeah.

[23:14]There's a Central American country.

[23:15]I'd be happy to take you if you like lemon and desserts.

[23:17]Now, Aaron, let's look right now at lemon curd, what that looks like.

[23:22]Now, when have you had lemon curd, actually?

[23:24]I honestly don't know.

[23:26]I have.

[23:26]It just sounds nice.

[23:27]I'm just thinking of like a good, like a lemon curd.

[23:29]You think lemon curd sounds nice.

[23:32]I'm thinking of like a lemon dessert with like a nice graham cracker crust kind of situation.

[23:36]You know what dessert I hate?

[23:38]You're thinking of banana cream pie.

[23:39]How is there a guard for Duke who shoots less than 70% on free throws?

[23:43]That shouldn't even be possible.

[23:44]Guys, I cannot be the only one not watching the Duke game right now.

[23:47]That's crazy.

[23:48]The one point game, Rob.

[23:49]What are you doing?

[23:50]I came 20 seconds ago.

[23:51]No, I was wondering.

[23:54]I was like, why is nobody busting on Aaron?

[23:56]It's a lemon curd.

[23:56]Turns out everybody's watching the Duke game.

[23:58]Well, I wasn't until Matt was like, guys, this game.

[24:01]Okay.

[24:02]Matt and I have a little extra interest in this game.

[24:04]I'll just put it that way.

[24:05]What's up?

[24:06]The dessert that is always a letdown.

[24:08]I was at a restaurant last night, and the reason I bring this up is a pudding.

[24:12]I've had this.

[24:13]I told you guys about this once before, Rob.

[24:14]You'll have to pull it up and look at the picture.

[24:16]Nancy Silverton's butterscotch budino.

[24:19]It's got like a pudding type thing to it, and it is an all-time dessert.

[24:24]Butterscotch budino.

[24:25]Butterscotch budino.

[24:26]All right.

[24:26]All right.

[24:27]That's hard to top.

[24:28]First of all, that sounds like something dirty I said to my friends at high school about.

[24:32]Because we've talked about this before.

[24:33]This dessert comes in a jar, and we've talked about desserts in jars before.

[24:37]Now, a budino is really just a pudding.

[24:40]But with this budino.

[24:41]It could be a wrap name.

[24:42]So this is why you wanted me to.

[24:43]Wait.

[24:43]Wasn't it, Russell?

[24:44]You were looking up for this.

[24:45]You were looking up for the budino.

[24:47]See, now, Aaron, he's doing the work.

[24:48]He knows if something's a pudding.

[24:50]He's locked in.

[24:50]A budino is a pudding.

[24:51]It's called production, Rob.

[24:52]He's locked in.

[24:53]A budino is really just a pudding.

[24:55]But with this budino, it's dark, deep, buttery caramel flavor, and thick, velvety texture

[24:59]is enough to make an Italian chef's eyes light up.

[25:01]Imagine what it'll do for your guests.

[25:03]Mamma mia.

[25:05]Mamma mia.

[25:06]God, that looks good.

[25:07]You know what?

[25:08]A caramel pudding?

[25:09]Bro, I think I should be eating more pudding.

[25:11]I think this is the answer.

[25:12]I should be eating budinos.

[25:13]You got to be eating budino.

[25:14]So last night, we also made a specific choice not to get a banana cream tart.

[25:20]I've decided a tart is always a letdown.

[25:23]Always a letdown.

[25:25]They always look good when they describe them on a menu.

[25:28]I've never had a tart and been like, damn, I will have to get that if I come back.

[25:31]Never once.

[25:32]Tarts are the Fig Newtons of the dessert menu.

[25:35]You know what I mean?

[25:35]You think they're going to be fun because you've been lied to.

[25:38]All sorts of nursery rhymes.

[25:40]They were talking about tarts.

[25:42]They were talking about having tarts.

[25:43]And now everybody was having tarts.

[25:44]You're like, oh, tarts must be pretty good.

[25:46]It's in the name.

[25:47]The name is tart.

[25:48]Nobody likes that.

[25:49]Okay?

[25:50]If that's the only thing you've got going for it.

[25:50]Can you shut the hell up?

[25:51]Duke's losing.

[25:52]Duke is losing right now.

[25:53]Shut the hell up.

[25:54]It's a one-point game.

[25:55]It was 17 seconds ago.

[25:56]Oh, no.

[25:56]The dog is winning.

[25:57]Oh, that'd be a shame if somebody in his friends had put a little bit of quiche down on the dog.

[26:02]Oh, I might have.

[26:03]I ran out of quiche to put on dogs two rounds ago.

[26:06]Well, I also have a...

[26:09]Wait, this is just like when I finally give up on trying to play Blashek with Matt and Russell,

[26:13]and then they go on a run without me.

[26:14]That dog, if you don't chain him up and just let him outside,

[26:17]he probably doesn't remember where your house is.

[26:19]So if you just want to let him go on an adventure...

[26:24]This has been the historically low dog winning...

[26:29]It has been.

[26:30]It's true.

[26:30]...tournament.

[26:31]I think there's only been 11 underdogs that have won.

[26:33]If we're talking March Madness, there's only one conversation we can have.

[26:37]And that is that I got a text the other day from the upstairs roommate,

[26:43]and it was doubly insulting because here's what the text said.

[26:46]It said, I can't open my Yahoo account.

[26:50]And you tell me how I'm doing in the tournament.

[26:52]Now, I had...

[26:54]I just checked.

[26:55]So you look it up, right?

[26:58]Yeah, here's me in 11th place.

[26:59]I had checked earlier.

[27:00]I'm in 11th place with Duke winning the tournament.

[27:03]This person, the upstairs roommate, is in first place with Duke winning the tournament.

[27:10]So I was like, oh, okay, the classic upstairs roommate.

[27:13]Oh, let's go, Houston.

[27:14]Oh, man.

[27:16]It's going to get worse when he tells you the rest of the story.

[27:18]Matt's ahead of me.

[27:19]Matt's ahead of me by several seconds.

[27:21]Matt is...

[27:23]Oh.

[27:24]Wait a minute.

[27:25]Where was I?

[27:26]Oh, boy.

[27:26]Then the second text I get from the upstairs roommate.

[27:30]Oh, it looks like I'm also in second place.

[27:33]So now I believe that the upstairs roommate can see Yahoo.

[27:36]Wait, she's in first and second place?

[27:37]She is in first and second.

[27:38]Are you implying you're being trolled?

[27:40]And she is asking if she wins the cash prize for both first and second

[27:44]because not only does she have Duke as a winner,

[27:46]she also has, I believe, Auburn as a winner.

[27:49]Is her Yahoo name Pile of Shit 3?

[27:52]Pile of Shit?

[27:53]Yeah, it is.

[27:54]Yeah, Cooper Flagg sucks.

[27:55]Cooper Flagg is going to not be the number one pick anymore.

[27:59]Can you imagine if Russell was dating somebody whose name was also Pile of Shit?

[28:03]Like, that would be just such...

[28:04]It's like MFEO.

[28:06]Oh, I totally get it.

[28:09]So, yeah.

[28:09]So it turns out that she is probably going to win both first and second place.

[28:14]No, she's not.

[28:15]Not anymore.

[28:16]Not anymore.

[28:17]Not based on this result?

[28:19]It is.

[28:20]You guys didn't tell me it's a Duke game over?

[28:22]I don't know.

[28:24]There's three points some second.

[28:26]I'm behind Matt.

[28:26]Oh, my God.

[28:27]This is the worst podcast we've ever done.

[28:29]Cooper Flagg just missed his shot.

[28:30]We cannot do a game that I'm not even watching.

[28:34]Although, this is around me, the famous Rob and Sam show,

[28:37]where we watched a Green Bay game live on the radio

[28:39]and then broadcast ourselves instead of announcers.

[28:42]And it turns out that announcers have a really hard job,

[28:45]and it actually is tough to talk that long.

[28:46]Is that the Antonio Freeman game?

[28:48]That was the Packers game where it bounced off Chris Dishman on the ground

[28:53]and he ran it in.

[28:53]The other guy ran it in.

[28:54]Yeah, ran it in for a touchdown.

[28:56]It was humiliating.

[28:58]It was the worst.

[28:59]And, of course, the show after us was like, you know, like world music.

[29:04]It was a world music show, and they wanted to come in,

[29:07]and we're like, the game is almost over.

[29:09]We're live broadcasting a Vikings game.

[29:11]They're like, well, we just want to play these Djembes.

[29:13]All right.

[29:15]Now, Aaron, do I pronounce the D in Djembes?

[29:17]I don't know.

[29:19]I guess I would just say Djembe,

[29:20]but I've not been to any of the countries where they play them,

[29:23]so I can't.

[29:24]I can't claim to be an expert.

[29:26]I just took Dave Hagenhorn's world music class with Rusty from Hayward.

[29:30]I do work with a co-worker, Russell,

[29:33]who plays in a kind of a salsa band he was telling me about,

[29:36]and he goes, oh, you know what instrument I play?

[29:38]And I was like, oh, is it the Wiro?

[29:40]And he goes, yeah.

[29:41]Oh, yeah.

[29:42]I got a list for you from four and a half years ago.

[29:46]You're kind of a pale guy.

[29:48]I didn't know so much about the Wiro.

[29:49]I was like, don't tell a co-worker about the podcast.

[29:51]Don't tell a co-worker about the podcast.

[29:52]Just to brag.

[29:54]Don't brag about it.

[29:54]Don't do it.

[29:55]Nobody likes it.

[29:56]If I was in a salsa band, the band would be called Extra Chunky.

[29:59]Oh, I like that.

[30:01]I do like that.

[30:02]I was just thinking of a joke to get to the role.

[30:04]You know what, Russell?

[30:04]You nailed it.

[30:05]Rob, I can confirm that the upstairs roommate will not be winning your tournament.

[30:12]Will not be winning your tournament.

[30:14]Wow.

[30:15]Yeah!

[30:15]Big development.

[30:16]Actually, they still could unless a bunch of you guys have Houston winning it all.

[30:21]There's a couple of us with Florida.

[30:23]Famously available.

[30:24]Of course, Russell will not participate in my NCAA.

[30:26]Because why, Russell?

[30:28]Tell everybody why.

[30:29]Say it.

[30:29]Make it come out of your mouth.

[30:30]I have a Yahoo account, and my Yahoo account is named Pile of Shit 2.

[30:34]And I would feel inappropriate being in a bracket with younger kids.

[30:38]It is kids.

[30:40]It is because I opened up the bracket to kids, and kids are so disgusted.

[30:44]Russell is so disgusted by the idea of doing anything with kids,

[30:48]which is why the text that Aaron sent Russell this week was so funny.

[30:51]Where it said, hey, Russell, you are in California.

[30:54]I'm in California at Legoland.

[30:55]Come visit me.

[30:56]Aaron, rolling.

[30:57]How's it going with you?

[30:58]It's going good.

[30:59]I think my audacity paused, so I hope you got me on the Zoom.

[31:02]You just see Russell building a big, it's a huge pill bottle.

[31:06]I was just in Legoland for the last week for stream break.

[31:11]But I'm not going to talk about Legoland at this moment.

[31:13]What I am going to talk about is that after Legoland, we went, so Legoland is in Carlsbad, California.

[31:22]So close to San Diego.

[31:23]So we went to Legoland.

[31:24]Legoland, they've got some rides and stuff, and then they're all Lego, you know, themed.

[31:28]In my mind, Legoland is a thing at the Mall of America where there's a store that sells Legos.

[31:33]But this is an amusement park?

[31:35]It's an amusement park.

[31:36]Big time.

[31:36]Yeah, it's an amusement park.

[31:37]Now, are the roller coasters made out of Legos?

[31:39]No.

[31:40]I mean, kind of.

[31:41]Okay.

[31:41]Actual Legos held together by superglue.

[31:44]Yes.

[31:44]Yeah.

[31:44]Like, you remember the cool Legos that were like for 14 years and up where it was like

[31:48]they could actually do shit?

[31:49]Like the robotic stuff?

[31:51]Is it made out of that, Aaron?

[31:52]What's going on here with the Legoland?

[31:53]No.

[31:54]They're like, I mean, it's, I was surprised.

[31:56]My son really loved it.

[31:57]And it's like, he's like at the top end of the age, I think, that could like get down

[32:02]with this because it's like the roller coasters are pretty mild.

[32:04]Like they're not as thrilling as Disneyland, but they're all Lego themed.

[32:09]And so he knew all the themes.

[32:10]And then there's, you know, a bunch of different stores where you can go in and buy Legos.

[32:14]And then there's like some very cool Lego structures all around.

[32:17]You know what I'm going to tell?

[32:18]I'm going to tell like a Legoland story since we've just been talking about March Madness.

[32:23]Go ahead.

[32:23]Go ahead, Rob.

[32:24]Well, I was just wondering, what is the ratio of perverts at Legoland?

[32:28]It seems to me when I picture Legoland, there are a lot of perverts that are there.

[32:32]This is going down the wrong path.

[32:34]It's a lot of families.

[32:35]It's all families.

[32:35]Well, because when you think of Disney, let me just ask you this, Russell.

[32:37]When you think of Disney, you don't think about perverts hanging around there.

[32:40]But if I told you there were perverts at Legoland, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it?

[32:43]No, we can't do that.

[32:45]Well, let me tell you who was at Legoland.

[32:47]I'm asking questions.

[32:48]I'm going to tell you who was at Legoland with me.

[32:51]And it's a missed opportunity.

[32:54]So Legoland has a hotel.

[32:55]So it is an amusement park.

[32:57]It also has its own hotel.

[32:58]We chose to stay at the Legoland hotel.

[33:00]So then you're just there.

[33:01]Of course.

[33:01]Doing the thing.

[33:02]You get to go into the park early.

[33:04]And yes, Russell, we paid to get in front of the line, all of that.

[33:07]So Monday, we did.

[33:10]Yeah, Monday, we did Legoland.

[33:11]It was cold and kind of rainy.

[33:13]Not a nice day.

[33:14]And then when we finished at Legoland, we had friends who were down there, too.

[33:17]So we were sitting in the hotel lounge of Legoland, had a little happy hour.

[33:22]And the kids were...

[33:24]We're running around playing.

[33:24]And I looked over.

[33:25]And there was a guy playing cards with his lady in the lounge of Legoland Hotel.

[33:32]And he's playing cards with his lady.

[33:34]And his kids are kind of sitting nearby.

[33:36]And I'm certain this guy is famous.

[33:39]And I kept watching, trying to see if I could tell for sure if this is the famous guy I thought it was.

[33:45]Can I ask you this, Aaron?

[33:46]Was he wearing glasses with the big, bugly eyes on them?

[33:50]Like the holographic glasses?

[33:51]Because that's a famous poker player.

[33:53]If he was playing cards.

[33:53]Then you're set.

[33:54]No.

[33:55]But so I'm looking over.

[33:57]And I'm thinking, like, I'm sure I know who this guy is.

[34:00]And finally, Anna was like, Aaron, what are you looking at?

[34:02]And I was like, that guy over there.

[34:03]Like, I know he's kind of famous.

[34:05]And she's like, well, who is it?

[34:07]It was Mario Chalmers.

[34:09]Sitting in the...

[34:11]Wow.

[34:11]And I looked right at him.

[34:13]Right?

[34:14]And I only walked near him once.

[34:17]I looked right at him.

[34:18]And I didn't say anything.

[34:19]And then Anna was like, don't bother him.

[34:20]Like, he's over playing cards with his lady.

[34:22]His kids are like, don't...

[34:23]Don't bother him.

[34:24]And then, like, I was texting.

[34:25]I didn't text you guys because I wanted to be able to tell the story on the podcast.

[34:27]I was texting my brother.

[34:28]All these people were like, man, I'll never forget when they hit that shot against Memphis

[34:32]in the NBA NCAA final.

[34:34]Rock, Chuck, Jayhawk.

[34:37]And so, you know, I do.

[34:38]I usually...

[34:39]I'm usually okay with, you know, chopping it up with celebrities or mid-level celebrities.

[34:45]And this time, I panicked.

[34:47]I didn't go talk to them.

[34:48]But they sat there in the lobby all night.

[34:51]Like, they were there for, like, five hours.

[34:53]Their kids were just, like, playing, doing all this stuff in the Legoland hotel lobby.

[34:57]And then I was like, I was thinking, well, I'm sure I'll see him in the park.

[34:59]And then we can have, like, a dad moment, right?

[35:01]We can be like...

[35:02]Right, right, right.

[35:02]Oh, the long slideshare are longer.

[35:05]You know, like, good thing we got in earlier or whatever.

[35:06]And then I never saw him again.

[35:08]So, totally missed my opportunity to meet Mario Chalmers.

[35:11]If you asked your wife to hold a Nerf...

[35:14]Now, this is something I saw when I taught in Rochester.

[35:16]And I'll never forget it.

[35:17]They take a Nerf basketball hoop and put it right behind the person unknowingly.

[35:22]And then you go and...

[35:23]Execute a huge dunk over Mario Chalmers in front of his family, in front of his kids.

[35:30]You dunk on his ass.

[35:31]Your crotch is right in his face.

[35:33]Aaron, would your wife do that, do you think, if you asked her to?

[35:35]I'm thinking not.

[35:38]No, I think it's unlikely that she would do that.

[35:41]That's the thing.

[35:41]My wife wouldn't either.

[35:42]She's not a ride or die like I need.

[35:44]You know what I need?

[35:45]I need somebody that's going to hold up that hoop.

[35:47]Instead, I get somebody who laughs when the guy in the street goes, Batman, more like Fat Man.

[35:51]Don't laugh at that.

[35:52]But it's about your heart.

[35:53]Your husband.

[35:54]I can't wear the Batman hat anymore because every time I put it on, I think about my wife laughing at that.

[35:58]So that was it.

[35:59]On the March Madness theme, I saw one of the all-time March Madness greats playing cards in the lobby of the Legoland Hotel drinking juice.

[36:05]Can I ask you one other question?

[36:08]I hate to keep bringing up text messages.

[36:09]The idea...

[36:11]First of all, I'm looking at the Legoland.

[36:12]These cars look awesome.

[36:13]They're like Lego cars you can drive around and crash into each other.

[36:16]Those were close, unfortunately.

[36:17]I was close for renovations.

[36:20]What a rip.

[36:21]Yeah, totally.

[36:21]Can I just ask?

[36:23]Can I just ask you this?

[36:23]You mentioned, because this was the dad I related to the most, that you saw a dad with Lego minifigs stuck to his hat yelling at his kids.

[36:31]Oh, man, yeah.

[36:32]I was like, that is so me.

[36:33]It was such a vibe.

[36:34]We're in the Legoland Hotel.

[36:36]This was my second day there.

[36:37]It's a fun time, but you're constantly trying to get your kid to move to the next activity because you don't want them to miss out on the thing they wanted to do, but they don't care because they just want to stand in the big store and look at Lego sets.

[36:48]And there we go.

[36:49]A couple of these guys who had a hat that had Lego.

[36:53]Lego board on the brim and the crown.

[36:58]Yeah.

[36:59]And then they would have Lego minifigs attached to the hats, like actually a three-dimensional hat, Lego minifigures attached.

[37:05]And so he's standing in the hallway of the Legoland Hotel with his two kids.

[37:10]And he's a big guy, like kind of imposing figure, wearing this hat.

[37:14]And he goes, you stop it.

[37:16]And you stop it.

[37:18]And I just like, it was such a perfect moment.

[37:21]Like, I just wanted to say to the guy, like, sir, you're wearing a red hat.

[37:23]You're wearing a ridiculous hat.

[37:24]And also, I can relate because I'm sure I got early.

[37:27]I'm sure I got just as mad at some point earlier in the day because it's a ridiculous place.

[37:31]What's the optimal amount of time that one should spend at Legoland?

[37:35]Like, if you go to Disney World, it could be like four days, five days, right?

[37:39]One day.

[37:40]We did two days.

[37:41]That was too many.

[37:41]One day would have been good.

[37:43]We went to the water park on Tuesday.

[37:46]It was 58 degrees and windy.

[37:48]And my son was like, Dad, let's do the water park.

[37:50]Oh, yeah.

[37:51]Going on a water slide built out of Legos.

[37:53]All those bumps going down.

[37:54]Damn it, Russell.

[37:56]That's exactly what I was going to say.

[37:58]Yes.

[38:00]We mostly hung on the lazy river.

[38:04]And then the lazy river, they had like Lego blocks that you as you floated the lazy river, you could gather up Lego blocks and build little creations.

[38:12]That sounds fun to me.

[38:13]That sounds really good.

[38:14]Can I show you guys this?

[38:15]You can buy Lego minifigures that have a penis.

[38:19]I don't know if you know this, but you can buy these.

[38:22]Now, Aaron, just something to think about.

[38:23]Think about on your next trip there.

[38:24]Okay.

[38:25]And I don't want to get back to the part that Russell made me edit out, but you can buy.

[38:29]Look at this.

[38:30]Would you?

[38:30]Now, first of all, if you notice, this penis is about the same size as this guy's forearm.

[38:36]Okay.

[38:37]But it does look to be the right size with that Lego hand would go right on it.

[38:40]You know what I mean?

[38:40]Oh, my God.

[38:42]Listen and listen.

[38:43]And if I'm ruining your childhood by making you think about a Lego minifig jerking it, I'm sorry.

[38:48]Okay.

[38:49]And if you are a Princess Diana fan and a Lego fan, I'm doubling.

[38:53]This is not what the podcast is on me.

[38:55]Also, if you're a Tori Amos fan, why are you listening?

[38:58]Number one.

[38:58]And number two, once again, also very sorry.

[39:02]I think there's going to be a big crossover between Tori Amos fans and Lego minifig fans for sure.

[39:08]And people who like Lego minifigs with penises.

[39:10]So I did not see the penis on the Lego minifig, but maybe next time we'll go back.

[39:15]But I know someone else.

[39:16]Diagram, check, check.

[39:17]I mean, look, it's got little balls on the bottom and it's got like a head.

[39:20]Like it has a whole like, you know, I don't.

[39:23]I don't even know what you call that part.

[39:24]But I know I was not the only member of the podcast in Southern California this week.

[39:27]Russell, how's it rolling with you?

[39:29]We're only going.

[39:30]Things are going good.

[39:31]Rob, I'm going to have you pull up a song.

[39:33]Okay.

[39:34]Dancing Slow by Jewel and Train.

[39:37]Whoa.

[39:38]That's a combo.

[39:41]Play this song and tell me you guys won't love this song and listen to it a thousand times over the next week.

[39:46]Just let it go and I'll tell my story.

[39:48]Like it?

[39:53]Like it?

[39:54]I do like this.

[39:56]Matt, do you recognize this song?

[39:58]No, but it sounds like a country artist who sang it originally.

[40:05]I don't know.

[40:07]It's a great song, but I heard it twice this week.

[40:10]I heard it on a flight.

[40:11]This is the song Delta plays while you're boarding and while you're sitting on the plane.

[40:16]I heard it.

[40:16]I shazammed it.

[40:17]Oh, man.

[40:18]I feel like it deserves better than that.

[40:20]It deserves better.

[40:21]Isn't that crazy?

[40:23]Isn't it crazy that you could hear this song sleeping on a plane and meanwhile Jewel was sleeping in her car?

[40:28]Like that's kind of ironic, isn't it?

[40:30]Don't you think?

[40:31]I thought she was asleep with Kevin Costner.

[40:32]What's Train's top?

[40:34]Can you Google what is Train's top five songs?

[40:37]Meet Virginia, right?

[40:37]I have Train up there with...

[40:39]Save Me San Francisco?

[40:40]No.

[40:42]I mean...

[40:44]Drops to Jupiter.

[40:44]Meet Virginia, Drops to Jupiter.

[40:46]Aaron just named a song, by the way, that's on like their top 500.

[40:50]What?

[40:51]It was a big song here.

[40:52]Because it came out like when the Giants were in the World Series.

[40:55]Drops of Jupiter, Calling All Angels, Get to Me.

[40:58]When I Look Through the Sky.

[41:02]San Francisco isn't even on there.

[41:05]Oh.

[41:06]Yeah.

[41:07]I like this song.

[41:08]I got Train up there.

[41:09]This is pretty good.

[41:11]I got Train up there.

[41:12]They're just above...

[41:14]Who's the Canadian band we talked about a couple weeks ago?

[41:16]Barenaked Ladies.

[41:17]Fish?

[41:17]No.

[41:18]Rush?

[41:19]With the pictures or whatever.

[41:21]King Wizard and the Wizard Wizard?

[41:22]Oh, they were good.

[41:24]Steve Orton?

[41:26]Nickelback.

[41:28]Nickelback.

[41:29]Yeah.

[41:29]So bad.

[41:31]I heard this twice on a plane.

[41:33]I was going out to Los Angeles, California.

[41:35]Wow.

[41:36]And I was going to ask you guys first, what are your thoughts on flying low-cost carriers?

[41:43]Whether it's Sun Country, Southwest, whatever they are, what are your guys' thoughts on

[41:48]low-cost carriers?

[41:49]Just hate it.

[41:50]I can't stand it.

[41:51]Recently, it was up for promotion.

[41:52]It was up for promotion at work, and I told my wife that I would not try to get the promotion.

[41:57]The only way I would try for the promotion is if we didn't have to fly Sun Country anymore.

[42:00]I said, I will try for this promotion if it means I can stop flying Sun Country.

[42:05]I hate it.

[42:06]Can I tell you, Russell, if I'm not getting on an airplane and they're not thanking me

[42:11]for being some color member, wait a minute, that doesn't sound good.

[42:14]If they don't thank me for being a platinum member, okay, I am not...

[42:18]Thank you for being a white member of our frequent flyer club.

[42:22]That wouldn't be the highest level.

[42:24]Thank you for being part of the white club, Rob.

[42:25]Oh, no, that's not...

[42:27]What's your name?

[42:27]Are you a platinum?

[42:27]No.

[42:28]No.

[42:29]Okay?

[42:30]I'm platinum, okay?

[42:32]And I want them to thank me, and you know what?

[42:34]They do it in front of my kids, and I always look at my kids and give them a big thumbs

[42:37]up.

[42:37]They love it.

[42:37]They think it's great.

[42:38]So anyways, I booked a flight to Los Angeles.

[42:41]Sun Country was a lot cheaper than Delta.

[42:44]I knew it was a mistake.

[42:45]It was kind of a...

[42:46]I hate it.

[42:46]You know, sometimes you can push for the price, and sometimes you got to pull back, right?

[42:52]I get there.

[42:53]I've got an 8.40 p.m. flight on Sunday night.

[42:55]I'm flying out for an event, conference.

[42:57]Get to the airport probably an hour and 15 minutes early.

[43:02]I have to check bags because I'm bringing a bag and something else for the conference.

[43:07]I have to check two bags, right?

[43:09]I get in.

[43:10]I go in.

[43:11]I sit at the bar.

[43:12]I sit down.

[43:14]I look at my phone.

[43:15]Flight canceled.

[43:17]Canceled.

[43:18]Oh, what?

[43:19]Not even delayed.

[43:20]Just flat out canceled.

[43:22]All the time with Sun Country.

[43:25]All the time.

[43:25]Canceled?

[43:27]Just happened to my buddy Mike from Edina.

[43:30]We just had it.

[43:31]He was trying to come back from San Diego.

[43:33]Same thing happened.

[43:34]Because you know you're doubly fucked when it's canceled because you know what you're doing.

[43:37]You're just like all the other sheeps on that plane.

[43:40]Sheep?

[43:41]Looking for anything other way to get there, right?

[43:43]You are begging to get there, and they just have you by the ball so bad, Russell.

[43:47]So what do you do when you find out a flight is canceled?

[43:49]So I go to the desk, and they say,

[43:52]Yep, you got to go back.

[43:53]You'll have to get your bags.

[43:54]You got to wait for the bags to come back out through.

[43:56]Just straight off. No flight.

[43:56]Come on.

[43:57]Yeah, no flight.

[43:58]Wow.

[43:58]So I leave.

[43:59]I have to go back, and then I have to wait about 45 minutes for the bags to come back out of the bag check or out of the carriage set.

[44:07]Are you on the Delta app now trying to find a flight and all that stuff?

[44:11]I'm on the Delta app, and I'm on my laptop trying to get it.

[44:14]And there was a flight, and about an hour and a half later,

[44:17]I could not book it online on my phone, on the app, or on the laptop.

[44:22]I had to not fly that night.

[44:23]I didn't get to take a flight that night.

[44:25]What?

[44:25]Russell, that's terrible.

[44:28]Wow.

[44:29]Now, if you were a platinum, you would just call their SkyMiles line, and your wife would take care of it.

[44:33]That's what I find works quite a bit.

[44:35]What if you were a white member, Rob?

[44:38]You seem to have a lot of experience with that.

[44:39]Don't say that.

[44:39]I mean, I am a white member, but that's not.

[44:42]Well, then they just instantly find you another plane.

[44:45]They bring in another plane for you.

[44:47]I don't like this idea that the white member level is the highest one, too.

[44:50]That doesn't seem that we should.

[44:52]Don't be saying that.

[44:52]We got to edit that out.

[44:53]We're not the ones who created this club, Rob.

[44:54]I mean, we know about it.

[44:56]Please, please don't.

[44:57]Russell, I had the exact same thing happen a couple weeks ago.

[45:01]It was on a Delta flight, though.

[45:04]But the flight coming in, so our plane.

[45:06]So I've gotten pretty good at looking at where is my plane on the old Delta app to see, like, has it left.

[45:13]That's why I like flying early morning, because you know that that plane's there, because they got there that night, and then they're parking it that night.

[45:20]And then, like, the 6 a.m.

[45:22]flight out, you know that the damn plane is at least on the grounds of the airport kind of a thing, right?

[45:28]So I had the same thing happen and was just scrambling, just scrambling, had to try to figure out, had to, didn't have to get to, I had to get to West Palm Beach.

[45:37]And so there's not a really good way to get to South Florida.

[45:41]And so we were going to do a connection in Atlanta and then come down.

[45:45]Well, the flight to Atlanta is the one that got canceled.

[45:48]And so then there was one that was canceled.

[45:51]I got it.

[45:52]I got it.

[45:52]I got the thing just like you about an hour before, and I'm looking over, I'm at G20, I'm supposed to go to and walk as I'm walking and get the thing.

[45:58]And at G17, there's a, an Atlanta flight that's boarding.

[46:02]So I walked up to them to see if they could, if they had any openings, like, no, we don't have any openings.

[46:06]But I was like, oh, that would have been the best.

[46:08]So I had to do the exact same, just, just scrambled.

[46:11]So I ended up finding a direct flight to Orlando and then just driving to West Palm.

[46:16]So like an hour and a half to.

[46:17]But that's the tough thing if you do Sun Country, Matt, is there's not a lot of other options.

[46:21]No, I know.

[46:22]And then you're at the wrong terminal.

[46:23]You can't just like walk into somewhere else.

[46:26]You'll recall my story about the people who got kicked off the Sun Country flight.

[46:29]That was a Monday flight.

[46:30]There was no flight until Wednesday.

[46:32]They got kicked off on a Monday.

[46:34]No flight till Wednesday.

[46:35]Step it.

[46:35]Yeah.

[46:36]That's what happened to my buddy.

[46:37]Yeah.

[46:37]Sun Country is the worst.

[46:40]There's people, there's people who listen to this, whose family members work there.

[46:44]So it got to be a little bit, we got to be a little bit calm, but there's just too many stories of, of getting canceled.

[46:52]We had that where we had about a, we were supposed to fly out to see Rob.

[46:55]We were going to New York and our, and our, we, we had theater shows planned.

[47:01]We had tickets to go to the top of the Empire State plan.

[47:05]We had all this stuff planned.

[47:06]Right.

[47:06]And they're like, well, we're supposed to fly out on August 30th.

[47:09]Well, your flight's now on September 1st.

[47:11]And we're like, what?

[47:11]That's crazy.

[47:13]How does that work?

[47:14]That doesn't work.

[47:14]You know, this, at least this was like two weeks before.

[47:17]Right.

[47:18]It wasn't the day of or an hour before, but.

[47:20]And I'll tell you.

[47:21]It's tough.

[47:21]What gives you the least amount of confidence in an airline is if you ever look over to see what the fuck they're typing.

[47:27]Cause they're typing like fucking crazy at that front desk.

[47:29]I mean, they're typing like I've never seen people type before.

[47:31]And if you look to see what they're doing, it, it looks like they're using like a TI-85.

[47:35]It looks like they're playing drug wars on there.

[47:37]It looks like the oldest ass computer.

[47:39]And you're like.

[47:39]It looks like an Apple too, doesn't it?

[47:41]Like the old.

[47:41]Yeah.

[47:42]With the green, green letters and everything.

[47:44]Here lies fart.

[47:45]Diet of cholera or whatever.

[47:46]Like they, it is, it is, they are not able to do much on those computers.

[47:50]You know what I mean?

[47:51]I, if you, if you went to an airline that had all like IMAX set up and it was so slick,

[47:55]you would trust them way, way more.

[47:57]Yeah.

[47:58]So eventually I ended up taking Delta out to Los Angeles, California.

[48:02]Wow.

[48:02]And I had a couple of good experiences.

[48:03]I went to the girl and the goat, Stephanie Isard's restaurant.

[48:06]She's got one in Chicago, one in LA.

[48:08]So I did a top chef restaurant for you guys.

[48:10]I also had to share two experiences.

[48:12]We're going to call this the highs and lows of California.

[48:16]Wow.

[48:16]Okay.

[48:16]Hey, I think I know.

[48:18]Heights.

[48:19]I think I know what the California highs are, Russell.

[48:21]Oh, I paid my property taxes today.

[48:24]I'm going, I'm staying in a hotel in downtown and I get a text from one of my coworkers

[48:29]today before they say the lobby is on the 70th floor.

[48:33]I don't like it.

[48:35]Oh, have you guys ever been to a hotel where the lobby is on floor 70?

[48:39]I've never been to a hotel.

[48:40]Not 70, like 12, 12 or 13, but not 70.

[48:44]Outrageous.

[48:45]You have to get in the elevator and go up to the 70th floor and then there's like a bar and everything

[48:51]up there, but then you have to take another elevator down to your floor or your conference

[48:56]area.

[48:56]Is that crazy?

[48:57]What's on the bottom?

[48:58]What's on the bottom?

[48:59]Just like an entryway.

[49:00]That's the lobby.

[49:02]That's what they don't get.

[49:03]That's the lobby.

[49:04]They're tricking us.

[49:04]Nope.

[49:05]I mean, unless you're walking into a parking garage, that's the lobby down there.

[49:09]Was there a view?

[49:10]Aaron.

[49:11]No, Aaron, I was actually terrified because when my, when my coworker said this, I was

[49:16]thinking this is going to be like a space needle where you're outward looking through

[49:20]like a glass window.

[49:21]Right.

[49:21]Going up the elevator.

[49:22]And I swear to God, if that was an open elevator, I wouldn't have stayed at the hotel.

[49:27]I would have been like, I'm not going up and down this thing multiple times.

[49:30]Wow.

[49:31]You guys had vastly different hotel experiences recently.

[49:35]I have to say.

[49:35]Wow.

[49:36]Yeah.

[49:37]Yeah.

[49:37]I guess this is why Russell didn't want to join me at Legoland.

[49:40]But is, is there something on like floors one through two?

[49:43]There's a brief check in.

[49:44]You can check in there, Matt, but you have to go all the way up to get anywhere.

[49:48]And that's where the bar is.

[49:49]Is the hotel zero through one?

[49:51]One through 70?

[49:51]Or is there like an office building and then like a condo?

[49:54]And then.

[49:54]Yeah.

[49:54]Like the conference area is on floor five.

[49:57]Yes.

[49:57]Wow.

[49:58]That's crazy.

[49:59]70.

[49:59]So that's too high.

[50:00]I end up in a room on floor 52.

[50:02]I can't, I can't even go sit.

[50:05]I can't even sit at the table to eat my snacks like Rob did last time because I'm too close

[50:09]to a 50th floor window.

[50:10]Now, Russell, can I ask you, do you think, and I get it because I'm not a big fan either,

[50:16]but do you think you're going to fall out the window?

[50:19]Like, is that part of it?

[50:20]Like, do you think you're going to.

[50:21]You think you're going to like slip on a banana peel after a series of comical events where

[50:24]maybe a foot goes in the garbage can and you, you slip in the shower or whatever.

[50:28]If there was any logic to it, Rob, it would, it would make more sense.

[50:31]Then it would probably be that scary.

[50:33]I get it.

[50:34]But the other height thing I had, I went to Dodger stadium.

[50:37]You guys know, I'm trying to see all the stadiums in the world, man.

[50:40]I don't know if you, you're a baseball guy.

[50:42]I don't know if you've been there, Aaron.

[50:43]Have you been?

[50:43]I have not.

[50:44]I have not been to Dodger stadium.

[50:45]Here's a great place to see a game though.

[50:47]Did you try to start a fight with some of the friendly Dodger fans?

[50:51]I was going to wear a Dodger, one of those Giants hats, but I didn't want to get pitched

[50:54]over an Elstalline or whatever, so.

[50:56]But we got there and it was really cool stadium.

[51:00]I was going to ask you this.

[51:01]Everyone kept saying before I went, you got to get the Dodger dog.

[51:04]You got to get the Dodger dog.

[51:06]Footlong.

[51:06]Dodger dog.

[51:08]Yeah.

[51:08]It's, it's cool.

[51:10]It's a hot dog.

[51:11]That's about, I looked it up today, Matt.

[51:13]It's a 10 inch hot dog that extends out past the bun.

[51:18]Yeah.

[51:18]But it's just a hot dog.

[51:20]What do you guys think?

[51:20]What do you guys think about like when people like pump, it's like New York pizza.

[51:23]So great, right?

[51:24]Or like New York hot dogs are so great.

[51:27]What do you guys think when people like pump up like very basic food items at an event?

[51:32]I love it.

[51:34]You know, it's like when in Rome, you get whatever, whatever they're famous for.

[51:38]If you like it, you just got to get it right.

[51:40]It was good.

[51:41]I enjoyed it.

[51:42]Yeah.

[51:43]Like simple is good, right?

[51:44]It is fun because like when you go to the state fair and you have those chocolate chip

[51:47]cookies, they're good.

[51:49]But like what?

[51:50]I stopped my car to go buy them.

[51:52]Probably not.

[51:53]You know what I mean?

[51:54]But because everybody is so excited about it, it's fun.

[51:56]Well, you're carrying around a giant bucket of cookies.

[51:58]Well, yeah, that's the thing.

[52:00]And it's okay to do.

[52:01]It's okay to do because 90% of the people there are somehow fatter than me when I'm there.

[52:05]Like when I'm at the state fair, I'm like, I'm Usain Bolt over here.

[52:08]I'm like, why is that?

[52:09]My fit guy that I pick is Usain Bolt.

[52:11]He's pretty famously fit guy.

[52:12]He's not in your white club, but he's fit.

[52:14]Okay.

[52:15]Well, that's not again.

[52:16]So here's the thing.

[52:18]Based on Rob's other jokes today, I thought he picked Jared from Subway.

[52:20]When he's talking about a fit guy.

[52:22]That's not what a pervert is, by the way.

[52:25]That's different.

[52:26]A pervert is just a guy at Legoland.

[52:29]If you're talking about those them at Legoland, you're kind of talking about the same thing.

[52:31]A pervert is a guy who would know that penises, that Lego, I mean, that minifigs have penises.

[52:36]That's what a pervert would be.

[52:37]Here's the thing.

[52:38]Okay.

[52:39]I hate a hot dog that goes past the bun.

[52:41]And I know for a fact.

[52:42]We talked about circumcised versus uncircumcised hot dogs.

[52:46]Yeah.

[52:46]I do not want that all meat bite of the circumcised hot dog.

[52:50]I want that.

[52:50]I want that full hot dog foreskin covering it up.

[52:53]Oh, okay.

[52:53]I want, I want, I'm Aaron, you know, me, I'm a bun head.

[52:57]I want a bun in every bite.

[52:59]I hate the same thing with burgers.

[53:00]If burgers are sticking to the bun, get that foreskin over that meat.

[53:04]What do you think?

[53:05]I order burgers without buns a lot lately.

[53:07]Oh, yeah.

[53:08]Animal, you know, protein style.

[53:10]You know what, man?

[53:12]I want to make money for that, but you're right.

[53:14]It's the smart thing to do.

[53:16]It is, but I just love bonds.

[53:17]I couldn't do it.

[53:18]I got, I got nothing that can top this.

[53:20]The only thing I got, Russell, is that the, the United States of America,

[53:25]the good old US of A now has the second longest conveyor belt in the world.

[53:30]Who's got a longer conveyor belt?

[53:31]The second longest conveyor belt in the world.

[53:33]Where does it go from to from?

[53:34]I just wanted to let you know.

[53:35]We already know it's in Morocco.

[53:37]Well, the longest one's like in the Sahara desert or whatever.

[53:40]Morocco.

[53:41]That's what I'm saying.

[53:44]That's the second longest one, but that's the first longest one,

[53:46]but that's 61 miles, 98 kilometers.

[53:50]The second largest is the dune express in Texas,

[53:52]a 42 mile long conveyor belt used for moving sand for hydraulic fracking.

[53:56]So from Texas to New Mexico, 42 miles.

[54:01]There you go.

[54:01]That's all I had for you.

[54:02]That's all I had in my notes.

[54:04]Rob rolling, going, how's it going with you?

[54:05]Thank you.

[54:06]God bless America.

[54:07]I bet Rob wishes he could,

[54:08]he could do the conversion of six to nine when it comes to inches and meters,

[54:12]right?

[54:12]Yeah.

[54:13]It's 2.2 centimeters per inch.

[54:16]Russell, we all know that.

[54:17]Here's the thing.

[54:18]Oh, are you talking to us?

[54:20]Middle school science teacher who has to pretend like he cares about the metric

[54:23]system is the metric system is very important.

[54:25]And I do this motion, you know?

[54:27]All right.

[54:28]Oh, you should know what a deciliter is.

[54:31]Jerk off motion, jerk off motion.

[54:32]Here's the thing.

[54:33]What?

[54:35]I have to teach the metric system at my job and I couldn't give two shits

[54:40]about it.

[54:40]What is a deciliter?

[54:41]You got me.

[54:43]It's a 10th of a liter, my dude.

[54:44]Are you telling us that you teach the metric system and you don't use your

[54:47]power lifting as an example?

[54:49]No.

[54:50]Who cares?

[54:50]I mean, well, I mean, I mentioned it a little bit, but listen,

[54:54]it looks like, like if you said to me right now, okay,

[54:57]I'm going to give you 10 grams of candy.

[54:59]I don't know.

[55:00]I don't, is that a lot?

[55:01]Is that too much candy?

[55:02]Is that the right amount of candy?

[55:02]I have no idea.

[55:03]Couldn't tell you.

[55:04]I'm pretty sure it's, it's 2.54 centimeters.

[55:07]I was hoping you wouldn't.

[55:09]The, a lot of teaching is you just say stuff with confidence and you hope

[55:14]it goes well.

[55:14]Listen, we have already talked about fucked up candy,

[55:17]but I've got some more fucked up candy news.

[55:20]I ordered a whole box.

[55:24]As you saw last episode, I ordered a whole box.

[55:26]You'll never, you'll,

[55:27]you'll never guess what happened to the 10 pack of Boston baked beans that I

[55:31]bought my wife as a gift.

[55:32]Well, wait, I ate every single box.

[55:37]Once again, I have eaten all the Boston beans.

[55:41]I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do right now.

[55:44]Okay.

[55:44]And let me show you order order 20.

[55:47]I can't man.

[55:48]I'll die.

[55:49]Okay.

[55:50]This is like, well, you're all, you're only going to eat.

[55:52]This is how much I got to go to my God.

[55:54]It was 24 boxes.

[55:56]At least three.

[55:57]I'm eating at least three boxes of Boston baked beans.

[56:01]Oh, look at the price of that.

[56:03]24 boxes for 10.

[56:05]The boxes are so small.

[56:07]They're like five grams.

[56:08]That's like 40 cents a box.

[56:09]Last purchase, March 28th.

[56:11]And yeah, another day.

[56:13]Here's the thing.

[56:14]It says.

[56:20]Put it on a subscribe and save.

[56:21]Yeah, I better.

[56:22]I'm on a Boston baked bean.

[56:24]Subscribe and save.

[56:25]Okay.

[56:26]Here's the thing.

[56:27]How big is it?

[56:28]How often does it come?

[56:29]Well, it's going to come becoming every week now until this bit is over.

[56:32]And I actually let my wife eat some of her.

[56:34]What she says is her favorite candy is that she doesn't scarf them down in a week.

[56:37]So how good could they be?

[56:39]Robin, when they show up next week or whatever, walk into the living room and be like, can

[56:43]we not go one day without one of you ordering all these goddamn Boston baked beans and like

[56:49]throw them.

[56:50]And then walk out.

[56:50]Yeah.

[56:50]Let's talk about the album.

[56:52]Throw the whole box in the garbage and then come out looking to see if anybody's looking

[56:56]at it as I take Boston baked beans candy out of the garbage to eat in the bedroom.

[57:01]You think I, you think lady die every Boston baked beans?

[57:04]Oh, a hundred percent.

[57:05]That's probably Britain's number one candy.

[57:07]When you go to Britain, Russell, do you know what's really good there?

[57:10]The Cadbury is like the real chocolate Cadbury cream eggs in England.

[57:14]We're in cat.

[57:15]Are we in cat?

[57:16]Is it Cadbury season right now?

[57:17]It is Cadbury season, but the eggs have gotten pretty good.

[57:19]They're prohibitively expensive in New York.

[57:21]They are literally over late this year.

[57:24]Like it's not even just like, okay, listen, Trump's got some ideas.

[57:29]I get it.

[57:30]Okay.

[57:30]But when he made Cadbury eggs more expensive, I don't know how he did that.

[57:35]That's what pissed me off.

[57:36]Everybody's talking about the price of eggs.

[57:38]I'm like, they are too damn high.

[57:39]They're almost $2 each.

[57:40]And everybody's like, what?

[57:41]And I was like, yeah, sometimes they have a sale two for one, but usually they don't.

[57:45]They're like, wait a minute.

[57:47]What are you talking about?

[57:49]I'm like, I can only buy these eggs three months a year.

[57:53]Everybody's like, what the fuck?

[57:55]I thought that was a better bit.

[57:58]I thought that was going to be a better bit about the guy who just buys eggs.

[58:01]It's good.

[58:01]You just got to lay in the plane and get out of it.

[58:04]I can't laugh at every joke.

[58:05]I got to leave room for the listeners to laugh too.

[58:07]Okay.

[58:08]Listen, I can't be silent all these years.

[58:11]We're talking about little earthquakes by Tori Amos.

[58:14]Okay.

[58:15]Now, if Tori told us a tale, I would say it's Tori Amos.

[58:19]But she didn't.

[58:20]So I'm not going to say that.

[58:21]Tori Amos was born in 1963.

[58:23]If she was a British politician, I would say it's Tori Amos.

[58:27]I guess I do.

[58:28]You know what?

[58:30]I like the attempt, though.

[58:32]Here's the thing.

[58:33]Tori Amos is a piano virtuoso.

[58:36]She got, at the age of five, she got a scholarship to Johns Hopkins for piano.

[58:42]She then got kicked out at age 11 for what the school says was musical insubordination.

[58:49]Now, doesn't that sound crazy?

[58:51]That is the coolest fucking thing I've ever heard.

[58:54]To get kicked out of, like, a music school for musical insubordination.

[58:59]What was she doing?

[59:00]What was she like?

[59:01]Well, she turned the sheet music upside down and then would play it extra high, like on

[59:04]that Victor Borey bit that I love so much.

[59:06]No, apparently she wanted to play, like, more rock and roll, she says.

[59:11]Oh, because she's a classical conservator.

[59:14]Yeah.

[59:15]And in fact, when she came out, she started a synth pop band called Why Can't Tori Amos?

[59:19]Tori Reed.

[59:20]But it flopped.

[59:21]But Tori Amos had a six-record contract deal with Atlantic.

[59:25]That's how big everybody knew she was going to be at the time.

[59:27]Oh, wow.

[59:28]So she sends, she makes, goes and makes some recordings in California.

[59:31]She sends them to Atlantic.

[59:32]Atlantic says, hey, actually, no thanks.

[59:34]They're not that good.

[59:34]So she goes and reworks them.

[59:36]And this is what becomes Little Earthquakes.

[59:39]Okay.

[59:39]Which is not her.

[59:40]I mean, it's kind of her first album as Tori Amos.

[59:43]And so they release it in England.

[59:46]And all of a sudden, it starts climbing the charts.

[59:49]Climbing the charts.

[59:50]It goes all the way up to number 15.

[59:51]So a month later, they release it in the U.S.

[59:54]And basically, if you look at the reviews for this album, right away, everybody's comparing her to one artist.

[59:59]Because remember, this is 19, this is 1992.

[60:03]Okay.

[60:04]So picture yourself.

[60:05]Okay.

[60:06]You're either watching a lot of Beverly Hills 90210 or America's Funniest Home Videos, depending who you are.

[60:10]Okay.

[60:11]Who is everybody comparing her to?

[60:13]92.

[60:15]Kate Bush, right?

[60:15]Kate Bush, 100%.

[60:16]Nice work, Russell.

[60:18]Every single review mentions her.

[60:19]Kate Bush.

[60:20]But if you look at Tori Amos and listen to this, it is unbelievable who you can hear in this.

[60:25]Think about this.

[60:26]This is 92, right?

[60:27]We've got Alanis coming up.

[60:29]I think sounds like this.

[60:31]Ani DiFranco.

[60:31]I think there's a little bit of Bjork, especially on this album.

[60:35]I heard it.

[60:35]Yeah.

[60:35]Natalie Merchant.

[60:37]Sarah McLachlan.

[60:38]Listen to this.

[60:39]In 1993, a year later, PJ Harvey comes out.

[60:42]Hmm.

[60:42]Oh, yeah.

[60:43]1993, Liz Phair comes out.

[60:44]1993, Fiona Apple.

[60:46]And then, of course, later, I think Regina Spector sounds a lot like this.

[60:50]I think Tori Amos really sets that kind of mold of the, I don't want to say quirky, but you know what I mean?

[60:56]Like the quirky female piano performer.

[60:59]Like, you hear this over and over throughout the 90s.

[61:02]So, let's get into, and you know what I realized listening to this album, Aaron?

[61:06]It kind of rules?

[61:08]Two things.

[61:09]Number one, I've never heard a Tori Amos song before in my life.

[61:13]Ever.

[61:14]Okay.

[61:15]This is Crucified, by the way.

[61:17]I've never heard it.

[61:18]This is what I knew.

[61:19]I mean, once again, you have the wrong person from my house on this podcast.

[61:23]And I knew, we listened to this in the car today, backwards and forwards.

[61:26]She knows the whole fucking thing.

[61:28]And I have to say, I also didn't know Tori Amos was part of the Delta Club.

[61:33]You know what I mean?

[61:34]I just want to say that, like, part of the, I had a, I never knew, when I saw she was white, it blew my mind.

[61:41]I never pictured that in my head.

[61:43]I think, I don't know what I was thinking.

[61:44]But yeah, we are definitely wrong people to be reviewing this album.

[61:48]I'll tell you right now.

[61:48]We should have gotten.

[61:49]I think all of our partners on here to talk about this, because I, I, this album is not

[61:55]for us.

[61:56]This is so far away from us.

[61:58]Well, I wouldn't say it's not for us.

[62:01]I mean, it's like, we should still be able to listen and get something out of it, but

[62:06]it may just be themes that don't relate to us as much, right?

[62:09]Themes that don't relate to us.

[62:09]Exactly.

[62:09]Yeah.

[62:10]Yeah.

[62:10]A hundred percent.

[62:11]This song, by the way, is about her overcoming her self-hatred.

[62:14]This sounds like Madonna to me.

[62:18]This feels like Madonna's latest.

[62:19]Later stuff ripped off what she's got going on.

[62:23]I like that, man.

[62:24]I think this, that's big times.

[62:25]I, I was kept hearing the song.

[62:29]It must've been love Roxette.

[62:31]That's what I kept here when I was listening to this from the pretty woman soundtrack.

[62:35]Yeah, I can hear that.

[62:36]Russell knows the soundtrack.

[62:39]I mean, I think she, yeah.

[62:40]I mean, she probably did have like, I, you know, I mean, Anna was reading some of this

[62:44]stuff in the Carly as we were talking and it sounded like when she was like three, she

[62:49]could play in the car.

[62:49]song that she heard so yeah i'm sure she had every recorded song ever in history right this song came

[62:55]out russell 1987 wow but i can definitely hear a little bit out there maybe there was just a few

[63:07]of the songs where i was like this is this is a beat i i thought either this sounds like a adult

[63:13]version of a disney like song singer like a disney hit singer yep or i kept hearing the i

[63:20]heard the pretty woman soundtrack yeah can i just say this roxette roxette is the most attractive

[63:29]artist on the pretty woman soundtrack i'm just gonna say that right now okay now there is almost

[63:35]no competition for that whatsoever because the main person you're going against of course is

[63:39]roy roy orbison famously the second most

[63:43]ugly guy in the traveling wheelbarrows which is tough there is some competition in the traveling

[63:48]wheelbarrows for the ugliest person speaking of traveling wheelbarrows i did on the delta flight

[63:53]see the bob dylan probably handsome oh what'd you think i really enjoyed it and you know what

[63:58]what did you see i i missed it aaron was talking over you but it was getting to the end no russ

[64:05]what did you watch we couldn't hear it oh i saw the bob dylan movie on the plane uh oh okay and

[64:11]you know what i thought i have not watched that i thought

[64:13]i had like extra i was like no one else knows this like i'm like he's gonna get up there and

[64:19]he's gonna do maggie's farm and that's gonna be like the the pinnacle of the movie and i was like

[64:23]i know this because i'm on a fucking music podcast yes yes did you tell that to the person next to you

[64:30]no but i also didn't tell it to the guy in first class in front of me who leaned his seat back the

[64:35]whole time screw that guy and then here's the worst part these you know we're sitting first

[64:42]class man they give you food and they give you food and they give you food and they give you food and

[64:43]they bring you meals right oh yeah the dude had his chair reclined during the whole meal time that's

[64:49]so wow you know now his chair is leaned back and my table is like up underneath the back of the

[64:56]chair middle fingers up you gotta admit it that guy got off the plane and immediately got shot in

[65:05]the back you'd be like well oh i get it you know what i mean like that's a i get it okay if if like

[65:11]if some ice officials came and grabbed me i'd be like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so

[65:13]that guy took him to the hag you'd be like yeah he should go he had his he had his seat back during

[65:19]the meal yes that's so weird that's so spoiled that's just the worst oh that's disgusting it's

[65:26]like have you ever eaten in a recliner you know what i mean when you're younger you're like i'm

[65:30]gonna eat this recliner it's gonna be fun it's not it's a balancing act yeah it's tough you're

[65:35]spilling on yourself oh disgusting uh oh i forgot i'm doing a podcast next up girl

[65:43]a lot of fiona apple i heard a ton of fiona apple throughout all of this

[65:51]yeah it's interesting i didn't realize fiona's first album came out in 93

[65:55]i might have missed i think i maybe combined that in my notes i think i lied

[66:00]i probably prefer fiona apple to this but um there's probably no fiona apple

[66:07]97 98 is yeah uh title is 96 title is 96

[66:13]eric where does this break on like your wife's album list like if she had a top 25 album list

[66:18]does this go on there or not i think so i mean it was the kind of thing where today she was like oh

[66:22]i haven't thought of that in so long and then she remembers it so well although i would say

[66:26]yeah on the top 25 list it's probably there i would say there are some stretches in the middle

[66:31]where she felt like it's a little noodley you know where she's like man it's like she kind of found

[66:36]kind of like fish yeah i get it where it's like oh she found something cool she can do on the

[66:40]piano and built a song around it but you know it didn't but there's a couple songs in here that

[66:43]are like strongly in her top you know 20 songs i would say i know for a fact that there are some

[66:51]dorm rooms at st ola for this album was played all the time i can just picture those dorm rooms in my

[66:56]head yeah you know what i mean like and i think if you came into that dorm room and that album

[67:01]was playing you'd be like the antichrist in the probably in probably in that dorm larson or

[67:06]whatever because it was the quiet dorm no melby was a quiet dorm larson was actually some cool

[67:13]actually went pretty well this was the again this was santa's number one song i lived in a dorm that

[67:18]nobody wanted to live in and do you know why russell because it was steps away from the

[67:23]science center where i had most of my classes that's how lazy i was i i lived in the worst

[67:28]place so i was it was great hear those finger cymbals oh we should have mentioned jewel jewel

[67:35]probably also listened to tori amos yep 100 in her car yeah

[67:43]yeah this is the one i this is russell do you have a list about finger cymbals i thought for sure

[67:47]you're going into a list no i was i just heard the finger cymbals there and i had to look it up

[67:52]and see what that was you were like you hear those finger cymbals i was like all right here we go i'm

[67:56]gonna have to go to my gmail because i didn't download the list and it turns out we don't have

[67:58]one uh by the way that last song was about uh little mermaid the little mermaid the hans

[68:05]christian anderson version though where the mermaid dies at the end always crazy when you

[68:08]realize that precious things i don't know that you know who uh tori amos lists as a major

[68:13]influence nine-inch nails and she references them in this song i believe that but listen this

[68:20]this sounds like nine-inch nails big time those nine-inch nails is uh yeah they're touring again

[68:27]this year they're coming to minneapolis like but when did the nine-inch nails big album come out

[68:31]oh i mean like trent rezner came out like 88 89 and then the big one was like 91 or 94 was

[68:38]downward spiral 94 yes okay

[68:43]but that's they had albums before that didn't they yeah 80 89 they started up uh winter

[68:52]this song was uh written about by the wrestler mick foley who said he listened to this song

[69:04]and it changed his life because he listened to it before about in japan against terry funk

[69:09]oh no death matches yep wow

[69:13]wait what what what's a death match russell what does that mean oh they used to mick foley aka

[69:18]mankind i can do over two and a half characters of mick foley yeah who'd love mankind i mean who

[69:25]can okay okay we've all seen the royal rumble russell come on no uh they there were i think

[69:32]i had about a week period in college where we were ordering these on ebay it was it was these

[69:37]guys would go have like the matches with explosives in the rings with the oh the wire yeah like it was

[69:42]hardcore bats and like one of them he got like his head caught in the barbed wire ropes or something

[69:49]yeah i have a story next week for my rolling going that is basically a hardcore wrestling

[69:54]match story okay so get ready for that it's a little teaser for joe on your tickler file i know

[69:59]he loves that stuff i think that last song was my that was my favorite song on the album i don't

[70:03]know what you guys if you had favorites or anything but i think is it winter was that what

[70:07]it was called i mean it's basic but i like track one side one i think

[70:12]happy phantom

[70:13]that sounds like fionn apple yeah like kind of like awkward you're there yeah it's such a happy

[70:22]song and then she comes in and her lyrics say every day we're getting close the sun is getting

[70:27]dim and it's about how every day you're getting closer to your death this is a lot you know this

[70:33]sounds a lot like regina specter and ton like annie annie defranco rob i prefer to think it is

[70:39]every day i'm getting further away from my circumcision

[70:42]you guys wait if

[70:47]why did they do that to your penis i think you know what i okay can i just say this and we might

[70:57]let me head in the music in case i gotta edit this oh you can't yeah my main concern with not

[71:03]being circumcised oh was what if i'm getting blown in the woods no and you know what i mean

[71:12]like am i gonna have to bring out like some because you know you know the foreskin sometimes

[71:18]you do have to well okay never mind you know what we're gonna edit that out okay but really my big

[71:24]thing was what if i get blown in the woods is this gonna affect this somehow like i seriously since

[71:29]the age i was like 15 like that was my thought and how many times have you been blown in the woods

[71:34]once oh okay okay once in switzerland and then people came up the trail they're not happy

[71:42]uh they were not it was not not what rick steve said they were gonna see i'll tell you that right

[71:47]now this is the third single now this is both about the country and why was there such a long

[71:57]pause or where because i forgot what my thing was about here is this about tariffs no i i didn't

[72:04]even think of that but that's good wow okay yeah that's why i play this song 30 slower oh that

[72:12]doesn't make sense

[72:12]35 35 i like that we're doing it on those islands that just have penguins that's my favorite

[72:19]because everybody's like the island just has penguins why we put a tariff on them and everybody's

[72:23]basically like fuck it because we can we can do whatever we want you know they had all the they

[72:26]had all the protests today and they were showing like the funniest signs like they do for game day

[72:30]or whatever and they had this really really old lady who looked like she could barely walk

[72:35]and her the sign she was holding up was no tariffs on penguins let me tell you guys what this podcast

[72:41]has done to my mind

[72:42]one of the signs i saw from the protest was that uh ai video they made of elon musk sucking donald

[72:48]trump's feet every time i see that video i think aaron i cannot help myself i'm like this is what

[72:54]this guy is into i why would you that's just what i think i thought you're gonna say you're so sad

[73:00]that hot sauce and feet disappeared oh i'm gonna go find that i'm gonna put it on my plex okay i'm

[73:04]gonna download it locally here's the thing you guys have china then repost my wife and i were

[73:10]getting ready for a wedding uh you know putting stuff on the registry all of which i think is gone

[73:14]now i don't think we have anything left in the registry we got like the cheapest stuff she said

[73:18]okay we're not gonna do china i said good but china's stupid why do we need family all of a

[73:23]sudden on the registry is china she got a china set we have a whole china set here that we break

[73:27]out once a year for thanksgiving what's your china situation aaron what's your china situation

[73:31]we have bone china oh they're nice nice bone china a lot of it's chipped a lot of it's chipped

[73:39]we got bone china oh but we use them every day we got like everyday plates but they were made

[73:45]they were called bone china chef's knife because yeah well that's our white plates we use them all

[73:50]the time so they got chipped you know why are they bone china they made out of bones i don't

[73:54]know why it's called bone china but that's just what it was called that's what sounds like we

[73:59]gotta google something that's what we registered for

[74:01]is it the color why is it called bone china it says the trump tariffs are not called bone oh wait

[74:10]no uh bone china is called that because it's made with bone ash specifically cow bone ash was the

[74:16]key ingredient oh my god the vegetarians the vegetarians are eating cow bone aaron even your

[74:25]china is fucked up you know what i mean like you can't just have anything that's normal you got

[74:29]weird bone ass china you're

[74:31]oh

[74:31]my god cow bone china you just eat all your salads and all your tempes and all your yeah

[74:38]our plates are vegan they gotta go i love the idea so aaron how often you eat off this china

[74:42]often every day every day every day you're using this every day because these are like our everyday

[74:48]dishes maybe i'm wrong maybe i mean i could be wrong fucking life you're always complaining

[74:53]about shit yet you're buying a car every year it seems like you have a fourteen thousand dollar

[74:58]you're always complaining about shit it's it's quite often and you're eating

[75:01]off you're eating up you're always like oh work work once send me money please venmo it's a private

[75:07]that's the text i get send me money please you're eating up you're eating off china every day i

[75:12]don't know i'm gonna have to ask you i don't know maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm i but i think we eat up

[75:15]like we guess we got like serving plates you know when we got mine as well you start for

[75:21]china and that's what we got can i tell you guys how fucked our situation is here is our plates

[75:25]right now we have no more than creamies straight out of the creamy thing oh of course that cream

[75:31]me tiktok that was like super now i edited that out okay we each get to edit one thing out from

[75:37]the show this so here's the thing is uh oh fuck what was i gonna say oh we have about three plates

[75:44]that match each other yet we have like 15 plates we have about two bowls that are the same yet we

[75:49]have like nine bowls we are in the world with all of our plates are different i mean that's exciting

[75:55]oh not when you're trying to stack them in the cupboard forget about it's fucked you got to do

[75:58]it it's like a russian nesting doll you got to put the biggest bowl at the bottom of the bowl

[76:01]did i tell you i think i told you guys maybe a few weeks ago did i tell you about how i i we sold

[76:06]some we were doing spring cleaning and i sold my mom's silver yeah oh yeah tell you guys this no

[76:12]yeah something about that didn't you have to melt it down or something no we didn't melt it down but

[76:16]i brought it into um it's like a collectible shop or something like that they do like gold and all

[76:22]this stuff in bloomington it's over by the wells fargo building mad off of like 494 and 100 um

[76:31]between xerxes and france south side of 494 i brought it in north side of american boulevard

[76:38]part of the reason i was thinking about it is my mom had some china some sterling silver and stuff

[76:43]that she doesn't use anymore and i don't know that people like want that stuff anymore like i i didn't

[76:48]really care to have it so we decided she gave away some to extended family and and i went and brought

[76:53]the sterling silver set in and we got 1900 bucks for it wow oh did they offer were they like hey

[76:59]we'll give half of this to you in fentanyl

[77:01]you know what i mean like that's the kind of people that are coming in to sell silver to them

[77:05]they're like we'll just we'll go have these i think that's perfect you're like oh cut out the

[77:09]middle man so good but that was a very stressful experience for me because when i went out i was

[77:15]like what if they only offer me like a hundred dollars for it do i say no like yeah what would

[77:21]it be your breaking point of saying i'll take it or i won't take it well that's what i'll say you

[77:25]probably have no idea what it's worth right because if somebody said like 19 if they're

[77:31]worth it it's got to be worth at least double that they they do it and they weigh it matt and

[77:35]they give you like prevailing silver rates so they show you exactly when you walk in they show you

[77:40]this is how we're going to value it this is what we're going to pay you and they take it out they

[77:43]weigh it and they pay you they also have a free needle program it's very handy it's very handy

[77:47]for that place um so here we go let's do leather right there in your spoon uh

[77:55]look i'm stuck

[78:01]oh listen to this i was this is a quote from uh tori amo she goes i was getting wine

[78:07]and somebody said i teach pole dancing classes to your music

[78:11]and they said the song i use of yours is leather so people are out teaching a pole dancing class

[78:18]of this song russell i kind of think the four of us should take a pole dancing class before

[78:24]our live show i think that'd be a good stress relief we could hang out what would you think

[78:28]about taking a pole dancing class you know what she said after we

[78:31]she was getting that wine she goes i'm not drinking any fucking merlot

[78:34]sorry pole dancing yeah oh i'd get too sweaty i couldn't handle it i'd slide off the pole and

[78:42]hit my head or something russell would be spitting so fast they're like we he spit it too fast we

[78:48]can't stop him he's so sweaty there's no friction the idea of like seeing all the fingerprints and

[78:54]the hands and the smudges on like the the metal pole it might be too much for me yeah and then

[78:59]you look over and i'm in a thong and i'm just holding it up and i'm like oh my god i'm so

[79:01]my legs sticking my arms out don't ask me how i know so many pole tricks okay don't ask you no

[79:07]all right and now we have mother by danzig rob do you think you could do the like the

[79:12]the leg upside down figure four around it where you figure for it slide down head first listen

[79:19]first of all so those people on my instagram those uh older women out there who are posting

[79:25]their pole dancing moves thank you keep it going please i love seeing them second of all i am shocked

[79:30]they can even hold it up and i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry

[79:31]hold on a pole and just stay there like there's two things i can't do in a pole i can't hold on

[79:36]to a pole and stay there and i can't slide down a pole without looking like i'm like in stop action

[79:43]like i i when we had to do that where we have to do that for like on a playground i would like

[79:47]probably let go rob i can see this i'm just gonna guess you weren't great at like the the pull up on

[79:54]the rope and in middle school right like go climb it all the way to the top of the rope can i tell

[80:00]you when i told

[80:01]my father-in-law is a gym teacher and when i told him that i could never ever do the rope climb even

[80:07]the knotted rope he was sick to his stomach and he told me as such he goes i used to climb that

[80:12]rope all the time all the way up there because we used to have to climb that rope in gym and the

[80:17]mat they had below was no more than three inches like it was the thinnest like gymnastics mat and

[80:22]we were going all the way up to the ceiling there's no way that was safe this is tear in

[80:26]your hand or tear in your hand tell me this isn't it must have been love it's same song

[80:31]oh i like that i think you yeah you're kind of responding to the like is there some synth or

[80:37]whatever that is yeah yeah yeah i think so yeah i think you are this is one of the lyrics here is

[80:42]it's talking about breakups and she says i don't believe you're leaving me because

[80:46]charles manson and i like the same ice cream but that would be a reason to break up with

[80:51]i'm trying to think of i mean it's interesting russell that you're like we you know we think

[80:56]of her now as like we're thinking of everything after her right everyone she influenced but

[81:01]i'm trying to think of who she was listening to someone born in 1963 and then this album comes

[81:06]out in 92 so she's almost 30 so yeah there was probably some bush but what else yeah i mean what

[81:11]else was she was in her ears i wonder but then you know this it's also an album i think if i read

[81:18]right she's wrote all of these songs like three four five six years before this album came out

[81:24]she went solo you know that's when she started bringing these out so i think even some of these

[81:29]might be from like

[81:31]87 86 something like that and right uh you can hear some of the bush you can hear some johnny

[81:36]mitchell stevie nicks uh i typed in 80 single women artists how about uh the bangles the judds

[81:46]kim karnes that's what i was thinking davis eyes also cited barbara streisand leonard cohen and

[81:53]hazel scott as influences so when you never know who's his i'm gonna redo this bit to put it here

[82:01]on this song she says i don't believe you broke up with me because charles manson and i like the

[82:04]same ice cream and that made me think russell what was the thinnest reason that you didn't go

[82:09]on a second date with somebody like was there something they did where you were just like ah

[82:13]that's too much for me oh i'd have to think about that for a little bit you know i mean like they

[82:18]slurped their soup or something although that would not be oh i i i uh it was the messy eater

[82:23]lady once where she was like using her hands like shoveling stuff in with her hands like stuff was

[82:30]like constantly falling down and she was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so

[82:30]sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry

[82:31]out of her mouth and she would like pick up lettuce and like put it back oh no she's a messy

[82:34]eater oh i hear this one yeah where were you eating russell with the messy eater oh i think

[82:41]we were sitting outside at a patio at like a lucky 13 type of bar we were sitting outside and

[82:47]we we get like drinks and like a appetizer or lunch and there was like utensils being used to

[82:55]put the food in the mouth and then it was like constantly falling out and then hands to put it

[83:00]you know what i think after after the first piece it listen one piece of food falls out of your mouth

[83:05]okay it's a date so maybe i'm like i would say after one anymore i'm like okay now there's we

[83:11]gotta figure this out we've been eating a long time we can't have food falling out of our mouth

[83:15]am i right aaron i'm still just trying to picture this whole scene like okay i mean yes like you

[83:22]can't have you be russell and i'll be the woman okay yeah all right so in delaware they have llc

[83:30]and that's where that's why people incorporate their businesses in delaware i gotta go are you

[83:36]why are you dropping your food on like you don't say anything you just leave it oh you don't say

[83:41]anything aaron you just gotta just watch i give the best blowjobs of anybody in minneapolis

[83:46]well the third date isn't something

[83:49]what's that noise coming from russell's apartment let's go to the target field and

[83:55]eat chicken fingers probably chicken fingers are a good deal in a stadium always i'm saying yes i

[84:00]would take her ass russell to the messiest meals i would just have a series of dates so they're each

[84:07]one getting slightly messier slightly messier date number two spaghetti and meatballs we're

[84:12]going spaghetti and meatballs date number three russell guess where we're going for date number

[84:16]three barbecue we're getting barbecue together i gotta see what she's looking like when she's

[84:22]eating barbecue you know it's getting all over face and hands how about some peel and eat shrimp

[84:26]oh my god peeling oh it's a blueberry pie eating contest i mean russell they're so

[84:30]many dirty foods possibilities are endless we can get out there me and a gun speaking of the uh

[84:37]sopranos so yes oh go ahead rob well this became a big song uh for uh a number of anti-violence

[84:45]against women charities and it kind of became like known as like a really uh a powerful song for

[84:51]kind of with her voice and for that whole movement that really became big in the 90s

[84:56]yeah and i thought that i knew this song

[84:59]from

[85:00]her unplugged performance so i was like man i knew that i saw this one on unplugged and like it really

[85:06]was had an effect on me and then i did some googling to see if she hadn't unplugged or if i

[85:11]was just imagining that turns out she did do an mtv unplugged but

[85:16]what i just had to listen for a minute it's really fucking good

[85:23]holy i think all of the unplugs are now on paramount or really

[85:30]one of those all of them are you can laugh it's kind of funny try to let erin know i don't feel

[85:37]like i should be telling the story i know that's okay go ahead erin it song's done so i thought that

[85:44]i recognized this from her mtv unplugged performance i was even talking about it with

[85:47]anna today and then i google it because i'm like maybe i'm you know maybe my memory is weird so

[85:53]yes she did perform it on mtv unplugged but i found this blog on the dense.com okay that tells

[86:00]me that only eight of the songs were actually aired this was not one of them but in early 2001

[86:06]mtv broadcast a show called hips lips and gender benders mtv's history of sex

[86:12]and on that show they featured her performance of her doing me in a gun so it turns out i was

[86:20]turns out in the early 2000s i was watching a show called like the filthy version i was

[86:25]watching hips lips and gender benders and that is where i saw the history of

[86:30]on mtv's history of sex that is where i saw tori amos performing me in a gun so that gives you a

[86:35]little bit of that does sound like a show i'd be watching about mtv and then i'd see the title i'd

[86:39]be like fuck yeah we're gonna watch the shit out of this after about two minutes i'll be like okay

[86:43]this is totally different this is a lot yeah i'm actually yeah i'm actually gonna change the channel

[86:47]here that's where i was at in 2001 with my relationship to mtv little earthquakes meanwhile

[86:54]nas was coming up with his song based on the soprano soundtrack erin it's a time circle

[86:58]that's amazing

[87:00]erin have you felt any little earthquakes lately no it's been a while actually um i forgot i keep

[87:05]forgetting to be worried about earthquakes because like there's fires and other stuff now

[87:08]i thought of you because when i was down in costa rica with these high school kids

[87:12]the first night they're like okay just let everybody know we're not going to leave the

[87:16]hotel rooms if there's an earthquake we're going to meet out here in the lobby it's like oh fuck i

[87:20]am on the ring of fire like this is crazy yeah man you got to wear underwear to bed or keep next

[87:25]i thought i think i texted you that didn't i i was like yeah

[87:28]yeah

[87:29]the way rob's hamstrings were though i mean it really went to bad he was not the guy

[87:34]do you imagine all his students walk out he's getting stretched out like this

[87:38]so that's like deep at like shoulder end of his thigh all the way to his groin yes

[87:43]oh yeah oh oh that sounds so good actually i would do that all right let's get to our

[87:50]favorite part of the show it's popular it's patented it's the rating systems

[87:55]the stems uh-oh we gotta do it twice you're you're a cramper i

[87:59]went out and had some drinks in uh la one night probably had a couple of we were walking around

[88:05]a lot i got home middle of the night calf cramp cramped up oh what is your guy's style do you you

[88:12]point the toe and stretch do you try to rub that bad boy out of there what's your what's your get

[88:16]rid of the cramp style try to calm down and rub it through it get a breathe through it i'll tell

[88:22]you what i am standing on the ground with my torso on the bed i am bent over in a 90 degree angle

[88:28]moaning and groaning and so much pain russell trying to stretch it out but you know what i do

[88:32]eventually let's go into the shower okay take the handle put it on massage function put it hot

[88:39]do that and also eat two bananas so i'm in the shower putting a hot thing on the back of my leg

[88:45]eating a banana trying to take care of it all eating while cleaning himself russell let me ask

[88:50]you this question you ever seen a monkey cramp oh wait a minute it's my friend michael nesbit he's

[88:58]just fell he's holding his you know what i did see the monkeys okay wait i'm gonna retake that

[89:06]joke i'm gonna this is my one edit oh i did see a monkey cramp when they got tired pushing that

[89:11]bed around outside you guys know what i'm talking about from the okay so you guys didn't watch the

[89:16]monkeys uh approximately a hundred times in your childhood growing up because in the intro they do

[89:20]have a bed pushing around you know what next week we're gonna watch the monkeys uh intro and you're

[89:28]recreating shakespeare but that's more of a repetitive stress than a cramp that's a good

[89:34]you think all the monkeys are gonna have that little brace on where you're like oh don't ask

[89:39]about the brace because if you see somebody wearing that brace and listen i can't imagine

[89:42]how painful carpal tunnel is i bet it's terrible but i'm just gonna tell you if you're wearing a

[89:46]carpal tunnel brace i'm not asking about it i am not asking about your carpal tunnel because i know

[89:51]that's the story you don't want that that's it that's a turnoff for me any sort of wrist braces

[89:56]like that would be a that

[89:58]you

[89:58]that would be worse than a messy food eater for me a rip a wrist brace okay i'm just writing down a

[90:04]little joke for the end of the show i've been working cold stone with those with those wrists

[90:08]the monkeys though i gotta say some real quick last night we were listening to some of my new

[90:12]records i put on pet sounds yep i think when they do redo the list hot take i think pet sounds will

[90:19]be out of the top 25 wow out of the top 25 oh russell that is a hot take i love it i like it

[90:28]we'll see it let's see oh my gosh oh i go back to that album and i still listen to it thinking it's

[90:34]just awesome it's fair i go back i didn't like it i just i have a prediction it's gonna have a

[90:40]precipitous drop at some point can i just say this i i there's some pet sounds over at aaron's right

[90:45]now i gotta oh here's pet sounds at aaron's aaron how's the dog doing by the way he guys he is a

[90:53]great fucking dog he's saving i mean this is a story for next week but our neighbor took took care of him

[90:58]while we were out oh my god oh hold on like a week and that made them made him stay at the neighbors

[91:04]yeah because we i mean it happened how it happened like we had vacation plan we adopted the dog when

[91:10]we adopted him but he stayed with plenty across the street we came home today he ran right across

[91:14]the street and dragged his tail and came in and took a bunch of naps and hung out he's such a

[91:18]lover he's a great dog he's amazing aaron's like the dog does great i tied him to the bumper of my

[91:23]car just this morning oh my god okay so here's the thing

[91:28]russell a little joke a little laugh on that joke come on just a little laugh a terrible joke

[91:34]would you want to laugh all right here's the deal i do is this album little earthquakes by tori amos

[91:39]it should this be right here at 130

[91:42]230 don't run us back 100 albums bro this is is this is this right here it's ever been about

[91:50]he's like i'm not doing this for another year and a half past the limit guys let's just wind it back

[91:56]i bet we could do a better job hey we're doing the band

[91:58]the brown album okay we're gonna finish this in 2030 if it kills us okay here's the deal

[92:03]two this is we're up to 233 does little earthquakes belonging to 33 that's a rolling well tone

[92:08]okay this is the system we use this is a system we love the people at the airport

[92:12]they got os 0.5 whatever they're using they're using windows 2.11 oh my god can you imagine

[92:17]we're using this system if you think this album should have been higher on the list it's a rolling

[92:21]boned it should have been higher up in the list it got boned or should it or or is this a rolling

[92:28]okay and of course a rolling grown means that it is lower on the list it should be lower down which

[92:33]is a higher number which makes perfect sense matt what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone

[92:37]rolling grown or rolling well-toned i i start i struggle with being like you know i should just

[92:46]say this is fine this is great i don't understand the album being here but like i get the influence

[92:51]of it i just i if i'm being completely honest i don't think this album belongs this high and up

[92:58]uh compared to some of the other albums we're going to listen to in the rest of the 200 so

[93:02]certainly i can understand the influence that this album had um if you read through any of the

[93:10]wikipedia's or anything like that you have a whole bunch of people talking about how it was a game

[93:15]changer and was probably at a great time in the early 90s uh what was your song aaron that that

[93:21]you that she had that she thought was unplugged yeah me and the gun me and a gun you know you you

[93:27]you think about that coming out in the 80s never would have come out in the 80s that song right and

[93:32]so it was like a game changer there just from what can be on an album so that's very influential but

[93:38]you know for me i just think it should be lower on the list and there's a bunch that should be

[93:41]above it so i'm going to say it's rolling boned not rolling grown but is that it but here's the

[93:46]thing rolling grown should be a little higher on the list which means lower on the list between

[93:50]should this be an important album because we know it was like the go-to emotional album for a large

[93:56]percentage of people and i think it's going to be an important album because we know it was like

[93:57]the people about our age you know what i mean like when they're having a bad day this is the

[94:01]album they're putting on does that give it any more credence like probably much more so than like

[94:04]only built for like you're showing the list like you're sure yeah i mean right that like our folks

[94:11]didn't really like jive with only built for cuban links but like i'm looking at the list and to me

[94:16]is this better than definitely maybe yeah is it worse that not worse is it as good as red-eyed

[94:22]stranger i don't know so like it's where the list gets really weird if you actually start looking at

[94:27]either or probably okay then throw a little john coltrane in there we're going to compare that to

[94:31]tori amos sure makes sense to me why not this list is very good and actually it's so good we should

[94:35]do a podcast about it definitely put a large portion is it not as good as dale is dead i don't

[94:39]know dale is dead you know what we should do a second podcast jared where we compare the albums

[94:43]to each other really fun uh russell what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling

[94:47]grown kind of in the same boat as matt the one thing i'll say i i enjoyed it some of the songs

[94:53]i really liked i could see having this in the collection throwing it on i look forward to adding

[94:57]it at some point in the future and listening to it again if it's a mid 90s it's an early 90s album

[95:04]this is like in the height of when we're into music and i don't remember it like if if if kids

[95:11]from you know many years from now will say hey tell me about the musical acts from the 90s and

[95:16]this wouldn't have been like one of the first hundred i would have came up with i gotta say

[95:19]it's rolling grown it's too high on the list i know it's very influential but it's my ranking

[95:24]it's not someone else's ranking so for me i think it's too high i think it's too high i think it's

[95:26]too high uh aaron what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown

[95:30]yeah i listened through today i thought um i thought it was rolling well-toned i feel like

[95:36]it's a good album i think the musicality is great the songwriting is great um i don't know who all

[95:41]the um instrumentalists are but i think it's a well-done album um like i said like looking at

[95:47]the list up and down i could pick and choose things that i think it's not as good that are

[95:51]about to come up i think it's better than some of the things we've already heard so i'll call it

[95:55]well-toned i will

[95:56]say this when you look up uh tori amos on reddit right now the number one thing that everyone says

[96:01]is you have to go see her live everyone says that when you see her live to watch her play

[96:06]the piano and sing these songs is absolutely unbelievable i can see that uh this unfortunately

[96:12]you guys are incorrect this gets this gets a rolling neil game on neil game on the author

[96:20]of the sandman american gods listen she was a big fan of neil game and brought him up a lot

[96:25]it's a good book in an interview

[96:26]a very good book and if you know that she's into that kind of just the sandman just think about

[96:32]that graphic novel and then you listen to this album it makes perfect sense it's got the exact

[96:37]same early 90s gothic tone i love it the 90s were times for an angsty teens and if you were having a

[96:44]bad day tori was there tori tori was there a most of the time is what i wrote a most of the time

[96:52]oh next up in one of the all-time biggest

[96:56]tone shifts we've ever had between two albums we're we have black sabbath with master of reality

[97:02]that reminds me of what i was oh master master i cannot i'm sorry i master of reality that reminds

[97:12]me of what i was doing last night masturbating to realtors who sleep with people on house tours

[97:17]you guys ever seen those ones when you want to hear about don't answer that don't answer that

[97:23]i'm just saying if you big search realtors

[97:26]they're always showing the master bedroom i'll just put it that way

[97:31]i just you know i just sold a house oh isaac from edina he's my real name i just i'm not

[97:38]picturing it i'm just not picturing it so is this better so i guess this is when we fuck

[97:43]what please i don't get any more commissions

[97:48]my life is a living hell they changed the rules right when i got into this

[97:54]can we at least fuck

[97:56]does he still have that goatee because that would hurt it's time to say what's that

[98:04]he had a goatee i feel like kissing you guys with a goatee

[98:08]his goatee would be one it's a b it's a beer i think it's a beer he's got a full beer that

[98:12]would be one too where you'd be like because it looked like a rough one

[98:15]by the way hello this was the one who lived with my wife in that dorm room of

[98:26]four and she was the fifth and she was the one that had the rats

[98:29]okay ignore that i said that because it's getting edited out

[98:32]yeah she had two pet rats in a dorm room can you believe it a ferret i will don't bring that up

[98:39]it's all getting edited out this is my one edit it's not this is this is three weeks from now

[98:44]you gotta remember to edit this oh it's gonna be tough no way this is toward the end where i'm not

[98:49]really listening yeah oh i'm sorry the phone rang russell say hello again so i can hello

[98:56]hey hey it's me again princess diana remember we talked earlier about something i can't remember

[99:03]what but i just wanted to say you guys were talking about something that it's always scared

[99:09]me it's about going to the doctor and they say mate you've got a bad case of carpal tunnel

[99:17]carpal tunnel

[99:20]bye where's that harp sound you can't leave till

[99:26]you can't leave till the harp sound plays it's almost like you can't fight okay

[99:29]that was like rob fleeing the paparazzi just crashing

[99:35]i would make the paparazzi fill up their memory cards if i was out there if they were taking

[99:42]pictures of me i would be like sir our memory cards are full we have to go