Black Sabbath: Master of Reality (1971)

[0:00]His dad is the public defender wasn't that the oc the famous line for that That does sound like that line from the oc his dad i do not remember We've been on the run in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums is decided by the rolling stone magazine right back with the rolling stone Magazine this resulted in text chain that celebrated music excoriated the order and Led us to make this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research All opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy back and did it better This is a good song this almost too good to be a tv song how key is a good theme song for a tv show It's it's super key right cheers all of them i mean if you have a good song it really Helps because you get people pumped up coming in this is a good one i loved when the The replacements played that song for friends i mean the replacements basically made friends i

[1:00]Liked it when keanu reeves took the field this jason schwartzman's band or what's the guy's Name that jason schwartzman fuck he's a coppola he's in rushmore these are my or pants oh are they Oh i saved what i saved latin what the fuck are you i know exactly what you're talking about God this is think about it the best has got to be yeah this jason schwartzman sinatra it's got to be Married with children right the i think he was in phantom planet right aaron's on his own show I think you're right i think married with children did benefit from that song Okay and i have to say from when i got older whenever i heard that song it's kind of erotic I had a real thing for peg bun jason schwartzman was in phantom okay thank god fucking coppola Thank god that one guy is turning off his car exhaust and taking the hose out of The window i mean now that he found out goodness gracious so here's the thing the one aaron fan

[2:00]Rob's in a dark area he said like four horrible jokes the last why i feel like i'm switching it up So that is true you are being creative and guess what this album we're getting dark we're getting Real dark because we're up to album 234 from 1971 we have black sabbath with master of reality and I'm just going to say this right now black sabbath is real fucking good at naming shit that is one of Our really good at they've got a lot of kick-ass names on this album okay they are very i mean Iron man that's a fucking name right there for a song it's about an iron man is this our second Black sabbath we did aaron it's funny you say that because oh it was on episode 139 of this Podcast oh where russell did the theme song that was almost a hundred episodes ago and aaron have I got a little treat for you A hundred episodes later russell has come out of retirement we're back and has once again done a

[3:00]Theme song for the podcast what well let's listen to it right here on hey rob k r o b f this is a Replay aaron well no russell that was the fucking joke that was the joke i was trying to blow it way To blow it that was i was gonna do that joke i get to edit that out we each get one edit of the Podcast that's my edit okay edit that out brand new song here hey what's up everybody thanks for Joining us today Rob is out today with an injury it turns out our favorite iron man's hamstring couldn't hold up to A little bump and grind this next song is dedicated to our main house and all he does To create this podcast russell at the end of this just yell remix and we'll say it again in the next Two episodes He's the greatest song i've ever heard

[4:00]Though see rob's yearbook picture there it's andre the giant with grandma's hair We're talking about Water The pressure's all the way Cramping my hamstring oh no god now it's moving to my heart i wait till i get my Keep and drive after you oh god does anyone else smell toast oh no Oh If you would have told me that there's a macho man in this song i would have paid you a thousand Dollars Rob's the best athlete on the softball field last week he raced and kicked an automobile

[5:00]If rob could travel time he'd make out with himself take a mustache ride Oh listeners love him his parodies rock their whole world Oh Russell i'm so glad we thought about playing this What is rob's new kink that he will soon unfurl I'm doing jiu-jitsu but it's tough because every time i get choked out i get a massive erection I don't know if i've ever jerked off to somebody in a suit before but i'm gonna try Right now My dad comes home from work he's like why are you looking at me like that Oh The time is here for rob's training system to reappear Rob cramps when he's burying his bones but none of his jokes get a rolling groan

[6:00]Downloaders love him why don't they tell their friends Oh wow Russell i forgot how good this was The attention would help him Because jimmy won't let him go Hey Robbie, how's your rolling going? How's it going? Robbie Don't be a brat Robbie? Robbie Is it a bit of a cunt? Robbie? The brat, man This is a fucking brat This is a fucking cunt, man I'm so bad Robbie Oh Oh What? That's how it is The water bed sounds There's a water bed sound When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time Russell, our secret reddit page still has that as the number one parody song

[7:00]Wow We just can't have it in front of Rob because we can't shoot him down like It's about Robbie, it's even more impressive Hey son, I heard these sounds coming from your room Oh, those are just water bed sounds Don't worry about that Ha ha ha Was there really a bit about me jacking off to my dad in that song? Ha ha ha I wouldn't know there wasn't a bit that was you making me do That was your promise It's not like I made it up Boy, that seems wrong to me Hey, why are you looking at me like that? They're going to think about my digital footprints then when I die This is going to be what remains of me forever You know how everybody's like, oh computer, they're just going to upload every website And like that's going to be the consciousness of the world and the future is just computer This is what the world's going to remember from me You know, some people dig up like the Rosetta Stone And some people are going to pick up an episode and be like, oh You mean people at this time made fun of jacking off to their dads All right, that was a normal thing apparently All right, so Let's get where am I? I'm so lost right now I've got four guys here Oh, this is back to it better, we're talking about Black Sabbath

[8:00]But I've got four guys here who like their Sabbath with a little bit of cream I've gotten bad in Minneapolis, man, how are you? Ha ha ha Good, Rob, my future is shrouded in dark wilderness Oh, wow, that reminds me of that high guy I took in Switzerland Russell, I'll take you there sometime, Aaron Russell at Minneapolis, how are you doing? Rob, this podcast means nothing, our fortune is less Our listeners, they are gone Wow And I've got Aaron out in California, now Aaron was mentioning earlier that What a coincidence it is that Dale Earnhardt Crashed famously And also his great-grandmother Amelia What? Amelia Earnhardt Oh, she tried to fly You think that they would That one of those neck restrates they put on their vehicles now, right? I was wondering, she didn't have the halo what I mean But I was wondering, you knew it was bad when she had a big eight on her plane

[9:00]That's when you knew that was Aaron in California, how are you doing? Good, I wish I had some of that sweet leaf to get me through this episode Oh, yeah, so do I Let's get right into our voicemail The Freaks on the Phone This is a short but sweet one Hi, I just wanted to call and say that Rob is right about the meltgubs And that's all I have to say about that Thank you so much, collars You win, the Beck did it better Great collar of the week Okay, you guys, don't act I forget what the Milk Duds situation is Are you guys fucking serious? This is huge for the listeners that I had You guys don't even know what we're talking about I don't know what you're talking about Milk Duds are duds Milk Duds are bad

[10:00]Milk Duds are one of the worst candies you can possibly have It's terrible, it's a waste of your time to get Milk Duds in the movies The worst candies that exist Beside whatever Aaron likes, like the Good and Plenty's Aaron's are a six let's Hot slashes I mean Milk Duds are hard to eat This is gonna be an insulting take Hot take here Okay People who don't like Milk Duds are too stupid to eat candy You're supposed to suck on the candy Like it is a caramel It is a caramel with chocolate You're not supposed to bite into the date You would never bite into a normal caramel like that You wouldn't do it You gotta suck on it for a while, Rob First of all People who don't like Milk Duds are too stupid to eat candy I feel like I should be insulted by that But honestly, I don't understand how You know what I mean? How am I too stupid to not like You're chomping right away You're not sucking on the candy See, that's not enjoying You're not enjoying

[11:00]I'm gonna tell you something I personally went to the movies last Sunday My, and I was so proud of her My daughter comes to me and goes, Dad, Jason Statham has a new movie out We need to go see it now A lot of you probably didn't realize this Because when you watch the movie It looks like it made about $500 to make And right away the first thing that says It says, from Amazon video And I'm like, why the fuck did we just pay Money to come see it in a theater But guess where we went To the theater that's 4D with the seats movie You guys know I love it And this was a movie where Jason Statham Was a working man, he was a construction worker But his boss's daughter gets kidnapped And it turns out you'll never guess What Jason Statham's past was Driver Ice cream scooper man You guys Maybe Seal Yes, thank you I was gonna say if you guys Never watch a Jason Statham movie Because it's the same as every movie Where he says, that's not my life anymore I don't do that stuff And they say please And he's like, I can't do it They're like, please And then he's visiting his friend Who is in the same thing And they're giving him all the guns I saw no less than 20 people

[12:00]Get stabbed in the neck in this movie And the movie ends with him throwing A hand grenade at the final two villains And at the end of the movie Everybody in the theater cheered They literally clapped We clapped and my kid I clapped, it was great There were two women sitting next to me Talking, almost the whole movie And you know what? It didn't even bother me Because they were there to watch a Jason Statham movie When people got stabbed in the neck They'd go, oh great When he told the kid to stay in the car The kid didn't stay in the car They yelled at the kid I loved it And guess what I got at the movie theater? Junior mince Which I also chomp I don't just chomp them, Russell I chomp around the outsides And I open up the Junior mince Around the outsides Around the outsides Like it's an oyster And the white goo inside is the sweet pearl And it's kind of like an Oreo in my mouth I'm delicate My mouth, Russell If you saw what I did to these Junior mince You'd have thoughts I'll just put it that way Alright Two Junior mince that are about this big, Russell

[13:00]You know what I mean? So why are you such a bucket head When it comes to milk duds then? Because Junior mince are so superior to milk duds It's not even funny And you know what I got at the movie theater? You don't have the patience for milk duds Is what it is That's such a dumb take That's like saying Jolly Rancher By your theory Jolly Ranchers are the best candy No I didn't say that I'm just saying you're too stupid To know how to enjoy it Yeah we're the attention deficit generation We don't have the This is just like You know who I always wanted to fucking punch That owl on the Tootsie Pop commercial Because I always felt like that owl Was taking a direct shot at me Because yeah I don't have the patience To lick, lick to get to the center I'm biting that shit And by the way I like blow pops too But the mascot blow pops had Was not suitable for TV's from Europe So like Robin Just immediate gratification Robin you're buying like a box of milk duds Like a box of candy like the bigger Like a little bit bigger box right I think of the tiny Halloween box The head tube In my mind that should take you

[14:00]Through the first hour of a movie If you're gonna eat that That's not a ten minute treat That's a treat that should Last you the whole movie If you're eating them right You're right and I'll tell you what Russell You know what the Rob's rule is When we go in and I got it from my dad No eating popcorn And no eating candy until The movie starts Not the previews That's discipline The ads Nobody eats until the movie starts Because guess what happens otherwise It's gone right away Is that you will eat it all During the ads And your candy is gone During the previews is one of the worst What do you do about the popcorn That's spilling over the top You can't even just like Take a little top seas You can't just like One finger One to two finger pinch for those Yeah On the walk to the theater The rules do not apply The walk to the theater Is kind of a no man's land We're putting our tongue right in there We're holding it Putting the tongue right in Eating it That's a move What I'm not doing anymore Is mixing my Junior Men's With the popcorn Because otherwise you know What would happen My kids would just

[15:00]Put their hands in And take out just the Junior Men's Defeating the purpose Of the whole exercise I think Rob too You also have to wait For the real movie to start So the lights go way down So you're not ashamed Of like eating the big bucket Like by yourself It's true You gotta wait for the lights To go down It's less shameful This is why you gotta have kids When you have kids You could order all kinds Of shit at the movie theater They don't even like They ordered an AC And that box of little Butterfingers That you like Because there's actually smaller There's more chocolate Yes please What were you telling me Rob You have to You gotta wait for the lights To go down before you could poke The hole in the bottom Of the bucket I was wondering If that was the joke Russell was gonna make But I thought no He's much too classy To make that joke Rob's like 12 minutes into the Jason Stay at the movie And he's gotta go back out For the refill On the popcorn Oh we spilled it Or something Bro Bro I'm telling you But when we saw the Meg 2 Also in that theater Which is another Jason Stay at the movie So good Expendables 3 Seen them all The only thing I'll say About milk duds is my

[16:00]Number one Candy of all time Like just Absolutely love them The problem is The problem is Is they are Very different Box to box Completely different Box to box Existency You know what There's not a good consistency You know sometimes They've been sitting around For a while Sometimes they've been Like they are nice And they You know You don't have to chop down On them So there is a very Very different consistency Box to box You know what It's kind of like nipples You always think You're gonna know What somebody's nipples Look like Looking at them With their clothes on And it's Yeah you're kind of Like I can kind of picture Like are these Like those nipples Or are these Like these kind of nipples Over here And it's always a shock You know what I mean Like it's always a surprise You never quite know Like peeking through the window And the shades are A little bit shut, Rob Like you do They do just look A little different I am not a peeping Tom That was a bit we did With Aaron Not me Speaking of peeping Tom's

[17:00]So This is your number one Peeping Tom Podcast Russell turned off his Zoom care I'm out of the flight I told you guys last week I saw the Bob Dylan movie Matt I watched your flip side Documentary That you recommended Which I enjoyed But I I watched another movie I thought this would be An all time great Flight movie Back to the future Do you guys remember How he meets His mom When he goes back to the future She hits him with a car And why does he Get hit with a car Break up a Because he's taking pictures Of her bedroom The dad From the tree The dad is in the tree Peeping in the window And he And he like Freaks out and falls Out of the tree And almost gets hit by a car Because he's a peeping Tom That was That was him Back to the future Listen That's weird Movies of our generations Taught us anything It was that Being a peeping Tom Was not only okay It was actually funny A lot of the times That's funny stuff that

[18:00]Happens I was like This is wrong This is best stuff Top three Peeping Tom Movie Number three Back to the future Okay He's got it Like a camera Right Like he's got a camera Up there Number two Okay Naked gun Where he's trying to get in the hotel And he keeps grabbing the penises And he starts the fire Do you guys know what I'm talking about? He's kind of over there Okay Well There is a clear number one And if you don't get it right Number one is Animal House There you go Animal House is number one Where it was like Oh, peeping Tom's is actually okay Especially if you look Just like the guy doing The peeping Tom Which is just what He looked like in Animal House All right Let's get into Rolling Going Thank you You do kind of wonder The writers of those Right They're always writing in Like weird shit like that You're like Kind of revealing some stuff Here A 12 year period in society Where like that was That was the thing It makes no sense When I saw that I was like I never would have guessed

[19:00]It's been forever Sexy back in the future I never would have guessed That was like A major plot point I didn't I didn't I tell you There's another thing like that Growing up Was always played for humor Every time And that was flashing And now that I've seen like Naked people Randomly in the streets Of New York You could not be More wrong About how you feel After you see it Okay When you see When you see somebody Going to the bathroom On the subway platform It is not humorous at all By the way Speaking of something That is humorous The other candy mat That's like The milk duds for that You know what they are Whoppers I am a big Whoppers fan You guys know I love the Fucked up candies Some malted The chocolate It is crispy It is light It is delicious And some of them You do have the patience Hey The Broxlin Russell He has the pay If he says The whoppers are different You get to the middle Of a whopper and it almost Dissolves Like the malted milk Dissolves The caramel in the milk

[20:00]That does not dissolve That's flat out caramel It's true Except Russell There are some milk duds That have what I call The cavity Where it feels like You're biting into a Tooth's cavity It gets hard And it's brittle And something has gone wrong In the process That's what Russell's saying You have to let it melt A little bit It's only one out of 20 Malted milk balls that are bad Hey guys If you know what I'm talking about Text it in the back 281 218 No wait That's my number again 802 277 802 277 Beck If you know what I'm talking about With the malted milk balls Because the looks I'm getting from these guys Is just like Oh let's stop this And go to bed So they must not If they If they get like A candy bar or something Eight and a half inches Or a treat like that They've probably got a Maybe not Aaron Matt's got to have like A group of five He'll go back to like The five things Like Does your candy world Is it like over A hundred items That you could maybe get

[21:00]During the course of a year Like are you Switching it up all the time I want to know If he Like in the last Two years Has had more than A hundred different types of like I will occasionally Like a Snickers bar Or maybe A Reese's or something Like I don't have more than Like Four or five things That I would get I would say that's Fucked up that you'd even say That but I gotta admit I did buy another Salted nut roll the other day There we go And I was like I was like I was like I was thinking about rustle But I was like I was like That is And the fact that I mean Boughts and big beans Pretty much every day And you've talked about Ruts And all these other good Plainies For years Yes Sometimes I feel like A milky way I want a little caramel Into that new good You know what I mean And sometimes I want a little crunch So I'm going to go with the Snickers You have a lot of diversity with it And I will say this Like every day at work I'm having a York Perman Patty The person buys Many York Perman Patties And I guess what was there this week Little bags of Skittles I was having those too Oh my God

[22:00]I'm an adult with a candy obsession I've had this realization Before this podcast And it hurts every time A hundred episodes later It's the same fucking thing God damn it But you know when you know You know when I'm really having a bad day Is if you ever saw me Eating a baby Ruth You see me eating a baby Ruth You know I'm at the bottom Of my Halloween bag Those were the I mean I'll enjoy I wouldn't even eat Baby Ruth is like the last Rung down that I'll eat What's the last rung candy bar That you'll still eat do you think What's the last rung down Like a plain Nestle Oh yeah That you're right You're praying for a crackle You know what I mean You'd much rather eat a crackle So boring you know That's where my real candy bar Heads would get the crackle Matt what's your last What's your bottom rung candy bar I don't know maybe Maybe three musketeer I think that's Is that the one that's got kind of It's just all cream on the inside Kind of a thing Don't actually you don't know Matt I've asked for thin chocolate Like the milk chocolate's really thin

[23:00]Guys sometimes you don't want To use your teeth when you're Eating a candy bar And that's where three That's where three musketeers Really comes in well You just put it in Munch it with your mouth Wait a minute Wait a minute Aaron come on Just ham What the fuck Sometimes you don't want to use your teeth When you're eating a candy bar Come on Aaron Fuck a sale This is where you can hear If you're eating like a Eat like a nut rages Or when I come When I come back to Minnesota I'll get that goody bar Shut the fuck up bro What the fuck You're so tired from chewing your food I'm just saying I ate my whole meal I can't chew the rest of my food I really need to Slurp down my Jenny chews it up and like Spits it into his mouth Like he's a small baby bird He's a baby bird He's gonna His baby birding it to himself My mommy's candy My mommy's candy Listen Sometimes I'll eat a nut Goody bar when I'm in Minnesota You know what I mean Like that's the kind of candy You're powering through that thing It's tough I'll eat a turtle sometimes But sometimes

[24:00]You just want to go old man And just gum that shit You just kind of want to You're like I don't want to chew too hard I don't want to Take care of your dentures Yeah And that's where three musketeers Is good It's gonna go right down the hatch Listen From Eating a candy bar to poop The three musketeers Your body's doing the least amount of work You're burning the least amount of calories Russell This all makes sense now He can't eat milk duds He just wants to gum your candy bar And get it in and out of his body As fast as possible Guys listen If you said You could have a three musketeer And some banana cream pudding I'd be like No two thousand You know what I mean? Slurp that shit down Oh some bosom clam chowder Thank you very much Will do My teeth rubbed it on my head So here's the candy bar I'm kind of a slurp head I love stuff that you could slurp Like a frosty Oh Give me a frosty Right now A creamy Sometimes you need that Boston baked bean crunch Aaron Still confused why a creamy Is that It's called a milkshake Yes Aaron Rolling going How's it going with you Oh wow

[25:00]It's going good Last week I talked a little bit About our adventures in Legoland After we left Legoland We went further north up the coast To Oceanside, California Which is close to San Diego Where my brother-in-law Hooked us up with a super nice place to stay So we stayed there for two nights Spent a ton of time on the beach It was wonderful And there are also the top gun houses there So the house where Tom Where Pete Mitchell goes to meet Charlie The house is there They've got pies there now So that was pretty awesome See the top gun house It's a pie place now There's like a pie store Where the house used to be There's a business inside the top gun Do they memorialize it? Yeah There's a plaque There's a plaque This is where Maverick went On his motorcycle And the motorcycle's out front too So they get the motorcycle out there They get the house I don't want to expose myself as a slurp head But can you imagine having a French silk pie right now? Oh, damn!

[26:00]That would hit It would hit so well right now So then Also, we were down there on the beach And we were coming up from our day down at the beach And there was a guy playing the drums on the sidewalk And he had his drum kit set up And some speakers and stuff And my son said, Oh man, I wish I had some cash to give him a tip And I looked at it I didn't have any cash But you know what I did have? What? Venmo Venmo Yeah Nice Oh, so I thought you were saying I get why you're staring I get why you're staring at me Hold me I get why you're No, don't That's not fair I'm going to find the session very fast Aaron, I thought you were going to say Your son went up and gave him a tip Go get a new job or something I thought you were going to do like something vicious Oh Yeah Take two weeks off and quit Yes You should be You should be buying stocks like my dad He's rich with his stocks He's bought so many stocks when he was younger And he's so rich now And we'll be rich forever with these stocks

[27:00]No, that joke did get as many laughs Listen to your song man We got to listen to the song Get out of the hacerlo Mo, venmo, venmo. Venmo, venmo. We could sell this to that company. He paid them with his phone. It's time for Russell's venmo. Yes. Wow, that's amazing. Yes. So had to borrow Russell's technique and use the Venmo. That's a song I should have thought of. So this guy, his handle was the street drummer. His name was Larry Lear. And he's playing drum beats. And so like I hit him with the Venmo. He's like, I didn't even know he was taking requests. Like I thought I was just going to give him a Venmo. And he's like, yeah, man, Do you get anything you want to hear? So then I'm on this. Right. What am I going to do? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you think Aaron possibly requested?

[28:00]What could he possibly do? Something by the roots. What's it? Something by his favorite. Something by the roots. Russell, what do you see 2.0 by the roots? I think that's a good guess. Oh, nice. I'm going to say he asked for the Purdy shuffle. What do you think? I see all those things. All of those things would have been better. All those things would have been. I, I froze and I said, Is it too early to ask for funky drummer? Oh, that's a good one. He's like funky drummer, James Brown. I said, yeah, Clyde's double field. And so that's what he played. But I was like, it was like, it turns out it was like, He was just setting up. It was like his first song of the day. And like, sometimes you like request that the big hit It too early. The DJ is like, no, I can't play that already Because it's only four in the afternoon. But he obliged. He played the funky drummer And I was really protesting. But yeah, I kind of froze. I was like, I don't know. I don't know what I should ask for. By the way, I have 10 hours of the funky drummer break. This is a 10 hour video on YouTube. Getting put on the spot for something With music can be tough. Like this will happen once in a while. Like, yeah, people ask you like,

[29:00]Oh, what albums have you listened to? Or what are some of your favorites? And I'm like, I don't listen to you. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of, But he did. He nailed it. This is so good. By the way, man, the first comment on this 10 hour video, Play this at my funeral. And everybody has to shut up and sit there for 10 hours. Matt, you guys were mentioning drummers there. I finally also watch Matt's recommendation. This is two flights. LA is a four hour flight. I got into a bunch of movies. A long way. I also got in the Yacht Rock documentary That you recommended a while back to. So I got to see the Jeff Baccaro Toto and all that stuff. It was very good, Matt. Pretty good, isn't it? It makes you respect Toto like crazy. Doesn't it? Yes. Yeah. All a bunch of session musicians who are, You know what, Very good as their craft. You know what I would ask for Aaron? I said, oh, can you play when the levee breaks? Oh, good one. Right. I want to ask for the BC boys,

[30:00]Rhyming and stealing version of it though. Oh, well, Russell, you might, You might be happy later in the show. Just a little something for your tickler file. Like, man, if I, It's harder, you're on the spot, But I thought me and the street drummer worked it out. So that was, that's how it's really going with me. How's everyone going? Aaron, can I just say with Matt, I'm so impressed that you asked for the funky drummer. That's really impressive. That's, you couldn't do better than that. That's so good. He did all right. Yeah, it was good. The root question is, How much was the tip, Aaron? I did $10. That seems fair. That seems big, Spender. I like that, Aaron. I didn't want to do nothing. You know, I would have said five, But I think 10 showing out in front of the kid. You're like, Oh, I think there's, Think I'm kind of fucked up in some ways. I will watch this $10. Boom. Don't worry. We got lots of stocks. We're fine. I got lots of money. Yeah. Just not that liquid right now, But it's fine. I will say, I'm going to, I'm going to give Aaron props for this. If you do give a tip like that, You have to tell as many people as possible. Like, this is a side that you're a good.

[31:00]You can't just give that tip. Just and let it go out into the ether. People need to know that you are going to reveal that. I don't know. I was, I didn't, I didn't know what the going rate was. I wasn't going to say that, But yeah, the guys out there playing his, Played his ass off on the, Would you get the screenshot of me? I thought this message is in the chat that said, Ask us how, ask me how big the tip was. I thought that's what you wanted, But I guess, I guess that's not the point. Oh, wait. I see. I got the picture you sent to nevermind. Then you're, I was confused. You were sending something else. My, my apologies. Now the tip is all fucked up, Aaron. I agree. Listen, rolling going. How's it going with me? Okay. I did stand up comedy the other day. Awesome. For the third time. Oh, way to go. We didn't know about this one. I do not have an audio recording of it Because I was so thrown off. I go second in the show. I actually did. Okay. I did my joke about stuff that would make guys have An orgasm that you could buy it.

[32:00]It went over well. Okay. You got to fill our listeners in. You sent the text to the text chain, But I don't think our listeners know what you're talking About. I've got that bit, of course, about How everything would be better if it made you come. Basically I think that'd be like if you had a car with a purple light. So we've talked about it on here. And so I did, I basically put that into joke form where I said, Oh yeah, What if this coffee table had that had the whole of a thousand Tongues, right? And then I, And then I did a bit about the Titanic having it in their State room and me staying while the ship went down and I'm going down with the ship while the ship goes down on Me. Anyway, Listen, There's lots of good jokes in the bit. Can I ask quick? Is this the same audience you've performed for before is a Different thing? No, Because here's the thing is that there's different performers. So this was not a standup comedy tonight. This was a variety show. But your first one was a variety show. Right. But the people doing the variety shows are totally Different. There's totally different characters in there. Yeah. Okay. Well, Except for the old gay guy. He was there again. But is the audience the same or different?

[33:00]No, Different audience. All right, Gotcha. Different audience, Maybe the same bartender, But that might be about it. But here's the thing. I go second. The woman who's going first says, Oh, I need to go change. Okay, Sounds good. So I'm sitting there watching kind of going over my Head, Being like, Okay, This is going to be okay. She is A burlesque Dancer. Okay. So she gets up on stage. She's wearing like lingerie, Yellow lingerie. I'll never forget this as long as I live. She takes off one glove. She then uses her butt cheeks rustle to take off the Other glove. Oh, That's a clever move. Yeah, It was pretty good. Then She takes off her top And guess what she's got? Castles And these tassels are spinning around. They're spinning and spinning. I'm clapping. I'm going nuts. I think this is the greatest show I've ever seen. Next thing I know,

[34:00]She pulls out a rose. And a staple gun. Oh, I'm out. And she takes these rose petals, Puts one on her stomach and staples it to herself. Now as soon as I see the staple gun, I've seen enough Japanese hardcore matches. I know exactly what's going to happen. I stand up and I stand up And I go, She staples herself. Staples it on her leg. Russell, She puts a rose petal on her cheek. Kuchonk Staples it. I would probably have to leave. It's too much for me. Her finale. She sticks out her tongue. No, No, What's a rose petal on the tongue? Oh, Kuchonk Joe ends. Oh, I'm going nuts. How much blood is going on? No, no, no, no, you can't see any blood. I'm going nuts. I am cheering like crazy.

[35:00]The host comes up and goes, And now Rob's going to come tell some jokes. And I'm just up there. And I was like, I was up, Wait to cheat on my wife. Oh God, I was like, I can't think about anything else. All I could think, I didn't even record myself Because I was so thrown by the act. I forgot to bring up my phone And record myself. I have no memory of the stand-up act In my mind though. Aaron might shock you. Great all-timer. God, I killed. It was crazy. How well did you at least start with a joker? You look up to the side and like be like, Hey, Thanks for stealing my bid asshole. Well, I was like, I was like, Oh, I'm sponsored by office max. This is a disaster. Cause it's not staples. You know, Just kick up a new tic-tac page for you. Now your tic-tac feed is just filled with chick staples. Now you've got me on something else. My tic-tac feed. I'm really worried about what my tic-tac thinks I'm up to. Cause you know what my tic-tac is right now? By the way, This is the Beck did a better official tic-tac.

[36:00]My tic-tac Is one thing. The scenes in porno movies that are not the sex. I'm flipping through. It's the non-sex scenes in pornos over and over. It's like And I hate to even say this. It's basically the last temptation of Christ. Every time I see one of those movies, I'm so tempted and I have to be so strong here. Do you know what it's like just to watch the talking parts of pornos? Weird. Definitely weird. Well, I wasn't going to say weird. I wasn't going to say hard. Oh, but that's weird. Now that I say that, You're right. So anyway, That's what the Beck did a better tic-tac is up to. Who knows? Maybe it's the stuff I'm liking. Who knows? Russell Rowling going. How's it going with you? And it's all tall women. Cause you're a woman. Rowling going up. I don't know if this qualifies as the advice quarter, But I need to get your guys advice on how you would have Handled something In the home front. Recently.

[37:00]I would have said, What if I asked you to marry me tomorrow? It's time for Russell's advice quarter. Oh, yeah. Please, please, please don't say that. Breathe beer tomorrow. So we've gotten into recently. We've been, What are one of the grocery store delivery services? Help me out with those. I came a lot of fresh. Instacart. Instacart. Yeah, we've been doing Instacart probably over the last Four or five months. And the upstairs roommate, I was gone one day. She did an Instacart order. Oh my God. I get a phone call. I get a phone call. Not happy. I ordered a bunch of stuff on Instacart. They said it's delivered. They called me and said it was there. I said, oh, you can leave it there. Didn't go down right away. It goes down a little bit later. Yep. The delivery is gone. The delivery is not there. So not good. Makes me so happy, Russell. I hear a,

[38:00]A few thoughts about Instacart and how they suck and all this stuff and how, How it, now Russell, I'm actually going to ask, I'm, I hate to apologize. I hate to apologize. Was it really a few, like if we're going to, I don't want you to quantify it, But was there a few complaints about Instacart? Would you say it qualified as just a couple? Maybe several. Would that be okay? I was going to say, okay. Was it a diatribe? Hey, the whole point of it doing Instacart is I shouldn't have to Change out of a bathrobe. I, they should drop everything off. I like, my whole point of paying them to do this was for them to get this right. And then in my mind, I'm like, okay, we just don't use them again. Like it less alert. We don't have to know fool me once. So anyways, so here's where the story pivots. If you will. Okay. You know me. This is like when we lost a car across the street a few years ago. I'm thinking a lot twist. Maybe they just dropped it off at a neighbor's doorstep. We live in a townhouse thing. It, the numbers get kind of confusing.

[39:00]It would be very easy to drop this off at the wrong house. Like we do door dash. We do other stuff where stuff goes to the wrong place on the regular, right? Russell is going by the theories. The grocery it's kind of like Descartes, the groceries exist. Yes, they're there. They're somewhere. The groceries are there. They were delivered somewhere. We just have to find out where I think therefore I am the groceries. You know what I mean? Yep. So we had a plan for dinner tonight at what we were ordering. They didn't show. So this is causing anxiety and it's causing stress on the phone. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, we'll, we'll deal with it. It's, it's, it's fine. Hey, two words for you. Relax. She does say, well, I've already contacted Instacart And they've refunded my money. Okay. Yep. Great. Okay. Oh, I do say that sounds like Rob. I do say my language. I do say it probably wouldn't hurt for you to just go out and Take a look because they could be at one of our neighbor's steps.

[40:00]It would be very easy for them to be out there. The woman's like, oh, thank God these groceries are here. I was going to make this tabooly with this food processor. I have, I'm still using it every day. My favorite thing that I have a little short back And forth and we have a plan. Maybe she'll go look, take a look to see if they're outside. About half hour passes. I get a text. Oh, the groceries were at the neighbor's doorstep. I've got the groceries. Yep. So I'm like thrilled. I'm like, great. She got them. Everything's good. Here's where the story pivots again. And they're free now because you got to refund it. Oh, this is where we're going to talk about guys. This is exactly where I want to go with this. Matt, can I ask you what happens if you pivot with Two feet? That's traveling. Oh my God. That's blowing the whistle. Russell, we're getting very close to follow. Watch yourself counselor. I'm going to put the ball on the floor. I'm not going to travel. We're going to keep this fast break going. So later that night we end up going out to eat Because I had said, let's just go out because our groceries

[41:00]Are not there. We don't have to worry about. So we made plans. We went out. Then I ask, so did you call or like let Instacart Know that we got the groceries so they can charge us For them? No, her answer is absolutely not. They screwed it up. I'm taking a refund. My response is absolutely not. We have the groceries you have. Good man. So I would ask you and I would like to preface it like this. I would like to say I had guesses over what you guys Would do and I also had guesses what your spouses would Do. My initial guess was Aaron's wife at Gmail and Matt's Wife are probably contacting them saying we got this Stuff. My guess was it sounds a little familiar that maybe Rob's wife would not do that. No way. It seems familiar. She would do it with Greg Lee. She'd make an Instagram post about it and tag Instacart At it. Not paying them to deliver it one door down. So what do you guys think?

[42:00]I need to know what you I thought it was almost a When there was a back and forth about whether it Should be returned. It was almost a. Is this a breakup thing for me of like this has to Go back. Oh, this has to go back. Oh boy, not a breakup thing, but I was like in my Mind if you don't send it back, there's something wrong. It's like a character flaw that you get over Russell. What are you guys like Russell? Let me ask you this. Yeah. Who is losing the money when you don't get pay Instacart The grocery store guy paid. Who is losing the money? Instacart. I'm guessing the delivery. I guess they probably don't have a job with They hit with that happens. No, you guys there's Instacart mistakes all the Time. Instacart makes mistakes all the time. They are not getting in trouble for little stuff like This. This is what they call my clearing the conscience. It's about doing what's right in the conscience. You want to probably if you call them and say What, I actually found them there. They're either going to say, yep, fine. We come to the groceries, whatever, or they say, okay,

[43:00]Well, here's 20% off for your next time. Something right like they're going to still be deputies For sheriff. Nottingham. This is the worst thing I've ever heard. I do 100% this was how it would go. This is what I said the other night at dinner. You're licking, you're licking Instacart's boot. This is so disgusting to me. Oh my God. You know what Instacart is? Nothing to do with Instacart. Rob, it has nothing to do with Instacart. It has everything to do with Instacart to do. How much money did they make in the last quarter? $883 million dollars. You took the product. Like you took the product to pay for it. Yeah. If it were outright stealing from Instacart. If she had a plot where she was doing an Instacart Heist, I'm all in on that. Like yes, if she said I'm going to steal from Instacart today I'd be like what? Do your Robin Hood thing. But that's not what happened. Do you know what the chair of Instacart does? She's on the board of directors at Open AI. She worked previously at eBay and Facebook, Erin.

[44:00]You're telling me that some CEO that worked at eBay And Facebook deserves anything other than to have Every single tricks and Oreo yogurt Or whatever Russell's buying. I don't know what he's buying. But Rob, if all of you put this back On the company what she does? She pays her people fucking less and that's on people like you. Like, that's crazy. She blames it on shrinkage and shit like that. People feel like they got to get into a union. So then they unionize and then they just shut it down All together because of the union. You guys know what I'm not. I cannot on the podcast are talking about what I think About stores opinions on shrinkage. You know, you and I'm not making a joke. You seriously know what I think about that. I've mentioned it over and over personally, okay? It is the all-time greatest scam. We should be stealing Instacart all over the place. If you went in and took $1,000 of cash from Instacart, I don't think I would report it. Okay, we should be doing whatever we can. They made 10% they went out.

[45:00]They went to make 10% profit. Here's my question. So at what point do you so I get that There's at least a question because you didn't know You asked for the refund. You found it later. Like it's not how do you reach out and say, Hey, I got this. I get it. But at what point is like, Oh, they put it at my neighbor's step. I'm not paying for it, but I'm going to take it. What are we talking about? This is yeah. This is not like a basic need. This is not like they're providing water or they're like, You know, a bus service or something like, No, you are calling them and saying, give me my food. I am too lazy to go buy a store. So you're calling them and saying, give me the food. And then when they call and they bring you your food That you ordered to them and then you say, Oh, no, I'm not going to pay you. That is just straight up stealing. So upstairs roommate, I was told today called her, Her mom and dad to ask them. And I said, I don't know what they're going to say, But I hope I know what the answer is going to be.

[46:00]And I was told that they told her Russ is right. You should tell them that we need to return that. Yeah. I got to say, when my kids told me in laws that I was stealing From the airport, they were not pleasable. And I had to have a little sidebar conversation with my kids Of like, that's not something we share. We don't share that with people. That dad's chocolate. Nark on our own dad. First of all, I know of Narkin on your dad. That's terrible. I didn't read snitches. What would blacks have it do? That's the better question. Now hammer the album. It would be funny though. Tomorrow, it's the cards like we're out. We're broke. We're going bankrupt. And I was like, Oh, God damn. Russell's right. Here's the deal. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Rolling going. Man, I was going with you. I'm not fucking talking about any rolling going. All right, let's get done with this. So here's the deal. Okay. All right. So I was going to do a bit about Ozzy Osbourne socialism, But I think I'll skip that right now. We're talking about actually, let's talk about the album. We're talking about black seven birthday master of reality.

[47:00]Watch this Karen. If you think I can't come back from people being mad at me, You don't know what my marriage is like. Here's the thing. You got it. No, we're here's the thing. Ozzy Osbourne born in 1948. Is that later than you thought for him? I thought he'd be born earlier than that. He seems older than that to me. I think the TV show because that TV show is like 20 years Ago now and he was, he seemed so, I don't know. What's the fragile? Yeah, it was like you described him on that TV show. You know, senile like, yeah. Yeah, not every functional. I would say like Lady Gaga watched that and then like Looked at Tony Bennett was like, I have a good idea. So we again, in black Sabbath, we have Ozzy Osbourne, Tony, I owe me great name. And then the bassist Russell. You remember the bassist name a little something named Geezer butler. Okay. Bass really shines in this album and like there's some Real bass moments on here. It's big time.

[48:00]And what they say is that the first two albums they had, Including paranoid or I'm sorry, what was their album Before paranoid? Right? What do we do? Yeah, paranoid was the album before this and they said They were rushed. They were touring. They didn't have to. This is the first album where they could really take Time on it. And it was kind of a double-edged short, right? Because they got to do what they wanted, but also Kind of too many cooks spoil the kitchen. Sometimes when you talk about something for too long, You know, it drives everybody crazy. I don't know if that's ever happened down here. But a lot of this album, they do no effects. There's barely any reverb. It's just straight them. And for a couple of the songs, they're actually Down tuning their guitars and their basses to break It down lower. And they're like, oh, this is great. And then Ozzy would just sing really high and they're Like, oh, well, it doesn't matter. They, this album covers famous because they Released the name Black Sabbath is in purple. Ironically, the name of the album Master of Reality is in black, just like the album. But on the original printing, it's, it's raised. It's embossed. So you could see it. And a lot of people think this was the inspiration For the famous spinal tap album.

[49:00]Of course, we all know smell the glove, right? Where they just made the album black. The cover was black and then they had the scene Where they sign it with the Sharpies and they go, They're like, how much more black Could this album get in the answers? None more black. Billy Corgan comes out and says that so many People musicians love this album, right? Billy Corgan says it's the album that spawned grunge. This got all the way up to number eight And gets what the best part Of this is the album. Thirty or four minutes long. The perfect length of an album. I didn't finish making dinner. I had this on like I still, I can still have time left When I Aaron finish the album. Listen at the, at, at not wanting to get mad. What'd you have for dinner? I got to know. A case of the is it just being a cheese case of the Is and some sweet potatoes. That was it. It was, we got home from God that it was all we had A Russell. I get one edit. I'm going to edit that part out where I asked him about Dinner. That was an all time boring answer.

[50:00]I will say, I'm sorry. We did get a lot of food from Instacart and then we Spent a lot of money on it. And then when I looked in the fridge today, I was like, There's nothing in here. Like unless I'm eating raspberries, I'm shit out Of luck tonight. That's like, I opened up my pantry the other day And you know what was in there? Unfrosted pop tarts. I was like, how fat do you think I am Where I'm going to eat unfrosted pop tart? I don't think so. No, thank you. Those will be there for the decisions. Oh, I don't know why they're there. It's like a joke. It's like a sick joke. Is there at least a filling? Yeah, it's like a apple cinnamon or something. Here's the deal. I mean, I don't know what the feeling is. I haven't eaten one. Oh, oh God, Russell, you caught me. You're the greatest detective of all time. Shit. Sweet leaf. Now, if you listen, Ozzy Osbourne brought Tommy I owe me a big joint And they when he was recording a different song on acoustic And you can hear him, the result of that joint

[51:00]At the beginning of Sweet Leaf, one of the all Is that what it is? Yeah, one of the all time worst album openings. But this is an all time stoner song. Every stoner talk about this song And Russell, there's something in the audio with this That's we've talked about really loud albums Before this seemed very quiet. Did you guys hear that or am I crazy? I think that compared to songs now, I think it is very quiet And the vocals are pushed way on. Yeah, way forward. I mean, picture. This is a band right now that you're listening to it. Ozzy Osbourne is way up front in my mind. Yeah, this is kind of muddy. This is this guitar riff. I swear I've heard this before And that's what brings me to tonight's list. A list.

[52:00]A list. A full list. A full list. Yeah, it's over three. It turns out that this album, of course, we all know Released in 1971. Okay, but we've heard that riff over and over And often it's as an homage. The artists will say to everybody. Oh, yeah, we did it. First of all, you might hear the part from Jimmy, the drumman. What's his name again, Aaron? Three drummer. Deezer Butler. No. Oh, Larry Lear. Larry Lear. Three drummer. But listen to Rhyman and Steel and Russell Because the drums are Led Zeppelin, but the guitar Lacks Abath. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Amazing. I see the top five songs on my Spotify a year ago. Now, this makes your respect to these boys even more

[53:00]Doesn't when you realize they're combining Led Zeppelin And Black Sabbath in 1986. It's so good. Now, I told you that bands everywhere love this. One of those bands in 1987. A little band we haven't mentioned much, but I was Always fascinated by as a kid. The butthole surfers. I'm out with a song that is not a parody, but it's an homage, But it's called Sweat Loaf instead of Sweet Leaf, which I got to admit that hits me. This makes me want to listen to the butthole servers. Now listen to this, there's a little spoken part of the Beginning and then you're going to hear their tribute To Sweet Leaf. Well, son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better To regret something you have done than to regret something You haven't done. Think about it. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, would you Be sure and tell her? Satan!

[54:00]What is this? Yes. Oh, he's sped it up. Something to say now. Is it pepper? What's the famous one? What is it? I don't even know. Matter of fact, the server's on the list. There's a chance. Not a chance. Right? But then. We've already heard this song. We've already heard this guitar riff. Russell, we've already heard this guitar riff on this list. Oh, in 1991, a little band called the Red Hot Chili Peppers Admit at the end of Give It Away. Yeah, 30 in the mix for this very album. Oh, yeah, and they came out and for Shendi has said, Yep, I did that as a tribute.

[55:00]But then what I'm going to do, Aaron? A little pivot. Pivot as it turns out. Okay. This riff was played in 1966. Five years before the band released Sweet Leaf by a little Band, actually a giant band full of tons of people named Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. Listen to Hung... Listen to this, by the way, Hungry Freaks Daddy. What a great name of a song. Hungry Freaks Daddy. There's a comma. Hungry Freaks Daddy. I mean, really the comma makes a big difference there, Right? Because if it was Hungry Freaks Daddy, it's, It's, it's different. Check this out, Hungry Freaks Daddy. Oh, but it kind of, it's just the rhythm around it. Some people think that sounds like Rolling Stones. Can't get no satisfaction. Frank Zappa is always, I love Frank Zappa.

[56:00]And then he starts singing on my promise. Frank. It's crazy, but Russell, that is a little list. It was awesome. Of all the songs that had the riff from Sweet Leaf. Just saying all the buttholes surfers have a movie, Buttholesurfersmovie.com. Looks like it's like a YouTube type thing for a documentary That just came out in 2025. But it wants to rush up on the buttholes surfers. He's been buttholes surfing. Black Sabbath at this time are getting sick of being Called Satanist. So what do they write a song about? Christianity. Yeezer Butler was a big Christian. And so they wrote this song saying, Hey, God might exist. Oh, wow. Fucking rocks. I mean, I banged it. Go ahead, Aaron. Well, just Black Sabbath. It's interesting because a lot of their first album

[57:00]Was sort of like Peace and Love, right? And then this one, they're thinking about marijuana And God and it's sort of like not the image that I had Of them and they're pointing my head. 100%. That song kind of has two styles, right? Like it feels like heavy metal and then it almost feels like, I don't know if you'd call it like The Grateful Dead Or whatever. There's like a jam band that is, I never knew that's Black Sabbath at any part of that. When the Yeezer gets going on this bass, It becomes very like crunchy granola for sure. 100%. Then now, Matt, Do you think that Black Sabbath on a 34-minute album, Would they fill every song they possibly could With hard rock and at least lyrics? I don't know. I didn't listen to the album. No, no, don't say that. Okay, that's my one edit. I've changed my one edit. This, no, because they have embryo, right? Just wrote WTF. Loot one? No. This is the 32nd one. Medieval one.

[58:00]Oh, this is like the Dungeons and Dragons song. It does feel like I'm about to play Golden Axe. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm the little guy. That's for my Golden Axe. It feels like an English like kind of homage To the old way of doing things, Ozzy says this next song is the hardest rock song They ever made. This song was featured in 2022's film, Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe. No, that must be 2012. That can't be 2022. Can you imagine if that song kind of, That movie came out? Oh no, that was 2022. Because Beavis and Butthead Do the USA was 20. There's two movies? Oh, guys, I saw Beavis and Butthead in the theater. That's how big of a fan I was. I paid money. I saw that. That was huge. Yeah. And then in 2022, This song was used in their other movie. I thought it was the original movie, my bad. Love Roller Coaster, Like Love Lego Roller Coaster. Remember that song? Yeah. Elizabeth and Seagull? Speaking of Red Hot Chili Peppers,

[59:00]Here's the thing. I have an announcement to make. I've got a new walkout song. Children of the Grave. This is it? Oh, this is it? No. This song fucking rocks. I love this song. I listened to this about 10 times today. Listen to this shit. This feels like a guitar hero song, right? Fuck yeah, fuck you. You get, yeah. I mean, I'm listening to this, Walking down this street. My day's better. This song fucking rocks. Rocks hard. And you know how much it rocks? Guess who covered it? Ooh. This is one of the songs On Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock. This is like a great guitar hero rock, right? I gotta go buy Warriors of Rock now. I'm shocked they don't make those games anymore, by the way.

[1:00:00]They just don't make them. They don't make the guitars. They don't make anything. It's crazy to me. Russell, a little song band That you and I have in common covered that. Who's that? White Zombie. They put it on a tribute album to Black Sabbath. That's a little wobbly. I don't know what you call that. This fucking rocks too. God, this song is good. I love this song. What do you guys, You guys listen to White Zombie at all? That's more of an impact in the day. Help Billy Deluxe, Rob Zombie. Oh, yeah. Did they sing more human than human? Was that Rob? Was that White Zombie or was that Rob? That's White Zombie. That's White Zombie. Drag you with us, Rob Zombie. I love White Zombie. Hate Rob Zombie. Hate it. Can't stand it. White Zombie, love it. Russell, no. Let's say you're at the Berlin Jazz Club. Is there a chance that you're going to hear Children of the grave?

[1:01:00]Yes, there is. If you go to the band Jazz Sabbath, Which is a jazz band that covers Black Sabbath songs. This fucking rocks too. That's cool. They got it. They got it. Let's see. This sounds like Tori Emoser, Ronnie DeFranco or something. Love it. Connecting those dots. Now, that song fucking rocked. So I bet that they come up with another Rock and roll song right after that. I'm going to write WTF on my notes. It's Orchid. What the fuck? What are they doing? I mean, Zeppelin did this same thing right around the same time. I think you're right. It's a great point. English. We're going to be talking Metallica in a few weeks. And I know Metallica is heavily influenced by Sabbath. But there are certain things you hear in there That you know exactly where they're... I can hear Metallica all over this album.

[1:02:00]It's not thrash. Like Metallica. But when you think of some of Metallica's slower songs, Like the ballads, the ones that everyone sings along with, You hear it in the end. Yes. Great point, Russell. I think you can see Black Sabbath's Bigger prints all over music. I mean, just they're everywhere. Lord of the World. I wrote, what a fucking riff. I'm not going to read you the notes for this song. They were just guitar drums and bass, right? Yeah, they were just a four person band. Yo, or a quartet. Yeah. Quartet, that was the word I was thinking of here. And I said four person band. Right. Their love song. Fuck, it rocks too. I really like this. It doesn't feel as dynamic as like some of the metallic albums That come 10 years after this.

[1:03:00]Oh, for sure. For sure. Well, this is early. Yeah. Recording. Wow, that's wild, right? Because like early Metallica really is only a decade after this. Yeah. I mean, they said the drummer says in this, He goes, we really experimented, we put in overdubs. And I'm like, overdubs. That's experimenting for you guys. That's crazy. I mean, they played all of these just straight through. Solitude. I got into a little Tony Iyomi playing the flute. So this is 71. Like, when are the Beatles done? 71. Really? Yeah. I mean, their last, how much? 71. 71. They were done by now, yeah. I gotta say though, on this song, Ozzy's voice is very good. You realize he's a true singer. Wait, is this Ozzy? Yeah. I thought it was a different singer. Nope. It's Ozzy. Oh. It's good. And then finally, the eighth song,

[1:04:00]Into the Void. It's been listed as a favorite song by James Headfield And a little guy named Eddie Van Halen. Listen to this shit. Listen to this. So this is, when you hear the sad but true or Metallica songs That are like the heavy Metallica songs, not the fast crash. Yeah. This is, I could see why he would say that. You hear it immediately. Karen, do you remember why Tony Iyomi has such a heavy sound? Do you remember the reason for that? Do not. I wish they did. He got his fingers crushed in a press at the factory And he replaced him with plastic tips. Remember? He's got like the weird. Ozzy just thrashed. Yeah. So he's got a, the strings are all looser or something To it that like contributes to the sound. Yeah. That makes them different. They detuned.

[1:05:00]They were all the way down. God, this fucking rocks. This is so fun. I'm telling you, Black Sabbath is one of those bands For me guys. It's one of the, it's kind of the podcast. Like what bands have you really loved since doing the podcast? Van Morrison and Black Sabbath. Trying to figure out what songs run the first. Love. I'm a big pulp fan though. All right. This is the rating system. Okay. Oh my God guys, we're here at an all time record. I could take my time. This is album 234 on the list. We're getting so close to halfway. All right. What does this album belong at 234? Listen, we haven't seen Sabbath for about a hundred albums. It was so long ago that we forgot a lot of the parody song. I forgot it. Almost all those bits were in the parody song. If this belongs at 234, this would be a rolling well toned. Okay. This is like the perfect dad bod.

[1:06:00]Okay. What? Harry. Uncircumcised. All that stuff. All right. That would be perfect at 234. By the way, Aaron, I got to show you, I got shaved for something at the hospital. I got to show you how they shave my stomach. It's crazy. What? Crazy. Listen, I don't want to make you worry. I don't want to make you worry. But it's a great story. Right. I was talking about, I was just, I was just looking shaved. I'm hanging out. Well, that was the thing is I was just at the cafeteria. So they weren't happy about it. Did that any point, Rob? Did you say is that as low as you're going to go? Oh, well, that's actually part of the story. I'll tell you that off the air. We're going to take that call off the air. It's like when you're getting your hair cut, Rob, And sometimes they start getting down on the back of the neck And they start going a little bit lower and a little bit lower And kind of pulling that shirt back a little bit. And I am going to say this. Okay. Two things. And this is going to make you worry about me, Aaron. You should not. I'm doing fine. I'm stronger than ever.

[1:07:00]Hey, Rob, don't, we're not worried at some point. But if you could give us the password. You text that email preferably. It's MILF with a E. Okay. Here's the thing. Alf, what? It's an email. Alf. Alf. Do you know what it is? It's alf. Alf's I'd like to fuck. You know, in my head that was a really, I think if you write that out, it's a good joke. That's like a, that's like a New Yorker cartoon joke Where it's like alf, alf. Here's the thing, Aaron. Two things. And don't, you don't need to worry about me. Yeah, no worries. But I will say at one point the nurse said, I just need to prepare your groin. Oh my Lord. And I thought of you guys. I almost texted you this. I'll prepare these grains. I almost texted you this. But at some point the nurse did have, And this is going to make you worry again, Aaron. And please do not worry when you hear this.

[1:08:00]The nurse was drawing a few X's on my ankles. Okay, dude. But don't worry about that. I got to admit I didn't know why she was doing it. I was a little concerned. Drawing X's on my ankles. I was like, is this not what I think it is? But to do it, she had to pull my sock halfway off. And I was in ecstasy. I was like, oh hey, this is the road movement. Is it just me? Wait, no, that doesn't make any sense. The road wouldn't move, sir. It's your erection. There's a little earthquake going on down there. That was, Russell, I put that in the last week. Oh, so good. Now, or is this a rolling groin? Hey, when she did it, did she say, hey, Rob, Why don't you relax while I take my robe off Or take your socks off? Yeah. You slurped. I'll tell you, being in hospitals at all time,

[1:09:00]A good place for a slurped. I will say when I got done what sandwich I had? And again, this is going to make you worry that they're feeding me Food after something. Don't worry about it. You want to know what kind of sandwich I got? Two to fish. Two to fish. Oh, yes. It was a slurpy business slurped down. Oh, yeah. I could break up that thing with the top of my mouth. I was like a Bronosaurus. I'm like a duck-billed platypus. You know, sometimes I am eating that stuff like a duck. Just squishing it. Put it down to that gizzard where I've been eating stones To help me digest. Or is this a rolling bone? Okay. It should have been way higher on this list. Listen, did I know any of these songs? Not really. Okay. I once downloaded Sweet Leaf for Rock Band and then realized I didn't know what the song was. Never played it. But this should have been higher up on the list Because children of the grave fucking rocks my ass off. What do you think, Matt? Rolling well toned? Well, I don't know if I should go to Matt. Okay.

[1:10:00]Let's go to Matt first. Rolling bone or rolling groan? I think this is rolling groan. I mean, we've got three Black Sabbath albums on this list. 139 Paranoid, 234 this one. 355 we have Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath. And it just feels like a lot. Like it feel like we should have one of them for sure Somewhere on the list and 139 for Paranoid sounds great. But having three and then I'm looking, I mean there's something called Big Star That we're going to get to in a little bit. We've got three albums and we've got one Pearl Jam album And we've got Big Star has three out And even a Big Star recorded three out. Great. And then we've got one Smashing Pumpkins album And a couple of it just, It feels weird to have it. Replacements for Big Star fans. Yeah. So I think this is rolling. Your own should be lower on their list, Which means it has a higher number. Oh, I'm going to have to do a parody song For a band called Big Star. Russell, are you hearing this? Russell, can you, unless I have an idea, And you do a parody song for all the Big Star albums

[1:11:00]That we have? I don't even, I have no idea what Big Star is. I don't either. That's a problem. Aaron said that the replacements were big fans of Big Star. Yeah. I don't know their music either, but yeah. Oh boy. Matt, I agree with you. Aaron, what do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone or rolling grown? I mean, wait. No, I don't agree. This is such a bizarre juxtaposition. I feel like the last time we had something like this Was I think Rod Stewart and Otis Redding Were right next to one another And Rod Stewart was higher on the list, And Otis Redding was lower. Looking at this compared to next week, And now it's sort of switched because we've got the, Like the master is before the protege, But I can't believe this is going to be better Than the Metallica Black album, right? Even as much as I like this album, It's just so odd to me. You know, and yes, there'd be no Metallica Without Black Sabbath and all of that, But as far as like what you want to listen to, I just can't imagine this is going to be better. Don't you think this is one of the list bits They're doing is going Black Sabbath? Yeah, I think so. I mean, this is 100% a list bit.

[1:12:00]Yeah. I think so. So I mean, I like that it's on the list. I enjoyed listening to it, But I think just because of what's coming up next week, I might have to call it a rolling groan. Russell, what do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone or rolling groan? Yeah, I'm going to pivot a little bit from Matt and Aaron And take a little from both of them. Three, two, this high seems early, Like too many for Black Sabbath, But also like there's not really a lot of heavy metal On the list, right? It's probably going to be Black Sabbath Metallica. Like I don't, do you call ACDC heavy metal or hard rock? I don't know if that fits into this. Rock, I guess. G and R maybe Guns N' Roses me, But like I just looked up like best metal albums Of all time and like we're scrolling through the list And I'm like, I wouldn't expect to see like Pantera, Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Anthrax, Alice and Chains Up high on this list. So I think they're probably giving a nod to heavy metal And they figure this is the best way to do it.

[1:13:00]And I think Rob, you're 100% right. My guess is they wanted Metallica on the list a few times And they're not going to put two Metallica albums Before they do to Black Sabbath Because James Hadfield himself has said this all comes, It's inspired by Black Sabbath. So they got to give them the honor, But I think it's rolling groan. I think it's a bit too high. Unfortunately, you're incorrect. Okay, this album gets a rolling children Of the grave. Oh, this song fucking rocks. This song fucking is awesome. The title is fucking awesome. And it shows me why I love doing this podcast. I'm going to be listening to this song For the rest of my life. And when I tell Alexa to play Children of the Grave And this comes on. Oh, fuck yeah. Listen to that. Go pull up woman. I believe it's Wolf Mother. Oh, by Wolf Mother all-timer.

[1:14:00]The hell, if that's not the same, That's just a straight up steel job, right? You're 100% that's exactly how that song starts. Oh, but it's also like pretty basic riffs, right? I'm just saying like, it sounds very similar, right? You could find probably like 17 songs that have very similar. Well, this is the one I like. This absolutely sounds exactly like it. This is so good. This is my all-time guitar hero. I smat. That's a good one. All right, next up. That's a good pull. Next up, if you thought this album was black, You haven't seen shit, okay? Next week, we have the black album. It's Metallica by Metallica. The upstairs roommate has been listening. She had the Metallica black album,

[1:15:00]So you pulled that out of her collection. She told me something about how she does follows along. She says she listens to 10 albums in a row, Like over two days, and then won't listen to any of them. And then we'll listen to like two and a half months Of our episodes. And then once we catch up to her, she'll watch 10 more. She'll listen to 10 in a row over two days again. And then wait for us to catch up. Yeah. She binges the albums, and then lets us catch up. And then binges ahead again. 10 out of 10 albums. This is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard in my entire life. And I've done 234 episodes of there. She's done 244 albums there. I've never thought that anybody could do that. Russell, that sounds like something somebody would do If they were in a straight jacket. Can you imagine listening to 10 of these albums in a row? And then listen. You know what's happening?

[1:16:00]Russell, when we do our live show, You got to keep her away from John from Edina. That sounds like a very John from Edina thing to do. I partially think it's a competitive thing. This upstairs roommate has been competitive at times. And part of me thinks they want to finish the list before I do. But that's between the four of us. Russell, that is so... I can't even... We got to get out after that. I can't even think about how bad that's going to make you. If Russell does an episode with us where he's whispering in like... Episode. The big mystery. Hey guys, I got to go listen. Okay, I don't want to... My groceries are here. And I've got the groceries for my next meals. Okay? Don't. And I don't say anything. My next meals are going to be tofu, Oatmeal, Mashed potatoes, Smoothies, Yogurt,

[1:17:00]Eggs. You're going to get a creamy in there? Oh, shepherd's pie. Oh, cheese fondue. Cheese fondue is bushy, but I wouldn't... A real slurp head delight, I'll wrap it. Some risotto. There's some slurp heads out there. Milk... Oh, rice pudding. Oh, God, I'm not eating... Peanut soup. Oh, God, I have my eyes of mush head. I'm doomed. Number 501 on the list is the lemon curd.