The Velvet Underground: Reloaded (1970)

[00:00]I got to say, Dirk Nowitzki is probably, he's got to be a top three NBA player where I would want to see what their penis looks like. Oh, geez. You know what I mean? I'm just saying, like, do German penises look different? Actually, I know that because of some movies I watched when I was younger. Anyway, let's get into our bit today. Listen, I am not well prepared for these next two episodes, guys. I'm not going to lie. I had a, I went to the gym today for four hours, four and a half hours.

[00:31]Nice. I lifted for two, and then I had to sit around for two while somebody else finished up. And then I went on a surprise date, which is so, and then I came back, and then I had- Did you have to do that date because you forgot her at the comedy store the other day, and she came charging in? Man, I went to the comedy show. It's just about to start. All of a sudden, somebody shoves me. I'm like, what the fuck? I look over. And it's my wife. And she goes, what are you doing? And I go, what are you doing? You said you weren't coming.

[01:00]And she goes, I came, and I texted you. I said, you know the phones are in the bag. She's scared. First time she's ever said that, right? She doesn't usually text anyone about that. I don't know. I hear her saying it right now. Rob, I hear her saying it loudly right now. Imagine if you had one of those evenings where you had to sit in the corner and film, but instead you had to put your phone in a bag, like a Ziploc bag, so you couldn't film. Oh, wow. A Yonder bag, so I couldn't film. I could only do auto recordings. Yes. Wow. That would be crazy.

[01:30]Russell, so Matt and I did see each other in New York. Jenny did shock us. And then she was like, okay, we're going to do a table. And then we got up and moved and got a new table. It was seeing your wife when you're not expecting her. It's the scariest thing of all time. It always is. No matter what. It's always scary. I wish I had had one or two somethings. And I wish I could have recorded Rob's face when he saw that Jenny was there. And it has to be like, if all of a sudden you got caught cranking one out and somebody

[02:00]walked around the corner, his face went, I mean, just completely shocked. I'm sure you guys got a better table when she showed up too, right? It's not like you had a good spot. No, no, no, we didn't. No, man. I had a table right on the front. Great view. My neck is still. Oh, we had a great view. And all of a sudden Jenny came and we got moved to the side. And Russell, guess who we had to sit by when Jenny moved us. We had to move by. We had to move by Jenny's other husband and she, she showed up and she was like, oh my God, I can't believe he showed up. You should have seen her face when her other husband showed up.

[02:32]Oh, Ron, what are you doing there? Ron, Ron. I, we sat next to Russell to a talker and not only was he a talker, but he had a low reverberous voice like this. I didn't realize that during my bass on, wait, I'll put my bass on. He had a low reverberous voice like this. And so everything he said, yes, everything, everything he said, you could hear through everywhere. And so he's just talking. During this first guy set. So it takes me about 30 seconds, Russell. I give the guy a look. He doesn't stop.

[03:01]10 seconds later, I look at him again and I go, Hey, can you be quiet for like two seconds? And that was it. I never looked at him again. And if he would have, if he would have done anything, I would have been terrified, but that's it. I stood up for myself, Russell. I was the, uh, I was kind of the king of the castle, the comedy club. So are you guys all watching the basketball game and not listening to my story? Okay. You know what? This is a good time to get my intro. This is supposed to be a fucking. This is supposed to be an improv thing where you guys are playing off my story right now in the intro. You started with two minutes to go.

[03:30]God damn it. I started, I've been, okay. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every, did we clap? If Indiana loses, I don't think I'm going to have the energy to go through with this episode. I'm just giving you a warning. Oh my God. He's going to have to pull the plug on it. Russell's like one of two Americans who cares about this NBA final. You guys are like the three people who are watching this NBA final. Yeah. In 2020. Four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest, one of the 500, every one of the 500 greatest. Oh my God.

[04:00]You've got to be shitting me. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums is decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. Oh, is that true, Rob? Yeah, that's true, Rob. Cause I'm the only guy paying attention right now. All opinions are our own. Unless you disagree, please sit back and enjoy. Bork did it better. See, I don't even think anybody noticed that I said that. Uh, we are up to album two 42 and from 1970 we had the velvet underground now with loaded

[04:35]guys, the goal of this album and it kind of opens up your mind when you listen to this album, knowing this, the goal of this album is just like Ricky Henderson peeing on his hands. They wanted to hit, you know what I mean? Like, however, according to Wikipedia, none of the singles originally originated from loaded nor loaded itself succeeded in entering the charts. This, this guys, I'm just going to tell you tonight is a night of disappointments.

[05:02]Tonight is a night of albums that are made and the band immediately breaks up, but let's not think about that too much. Wait, did velvet underground break up more than once? I feel like where they were like a breakup and get back together team. They, they kind of had pieces coming off for a while. You know what I mean? Like their drummer's not even on this album because she's on maternity leave, which is wild in the seventies that a band gave somebody maternity leave. Wow. Progressive. Okay. But I, but then they kind of got back together with like various people, but I, I mean, you, you realize here's the thing with this album there, and I'm just going to say right now,

[05:31]here's my take. If it's not Lou Reed, it sucks. My ball, all Z's nailed it. Hey, going to edit that. So it sounds good. All right. These nuts, Lou Reed, these nuts. Hey, read this script. Oh, it's got you sucking these nuts. Rob, what's your favorite read Lou Reed or Dwayne Reed or Jake Reed? Oh my God. Oh my God. That's so good. You know what I'm going to say? Reed's up in Walker, Minnesota. One of my favorite bait stores. Oh, I'm more of an Andre guy.

[06:02]Andre Reed. Oh, Andre Reed. How about, how about Jake Reed? The third, the forgotten receiver. Did we just say that once? Did we just say that? Oh, oh. Aaron literally just said it. My wife is making ice cream in the back. Weird. It's like, now who's not listening? The difference between me participating and not participating, very small. Listen, who not listening to who there reminds me of when I say that. It's Pete Townsend. Nevermind. Listen. DC, DC. Guys.

[06:30]Who made who? Let's go over. While you guys watch the basketball game, let's go turn on K-Rob. There's a commercial. Let's get through it. Let's get through it. This is you, Rob. Let's hear your jokes. Let's go. This is your time to shine. This is like me going down on my girlfriend at high school. Whoa. Oh, it's a commercial. We got to. Oh no, I'm watching a soccer game. You know what I mean? I'm never going to go down on her. All right. Let's turn on the radio. You want to see what's on. Maybe it's something about that. Maybe I knew I was going to make that joke and I just forced it. Nevermind. Here we go.

[07:00]What's up, everybody? Welcome to K-Rob. Today is almost Father's Day and we're going to be talking about things that fathers love. Oh yeah. They are my favorite candy. They don't melt in my hand. Don't need it to be fancy to taste the very best. A simple peanut is just. Just grand. Well, I thought I had enough to last. Two dozen boxes from Amazon.

[07:33]One box is 570 calories. Yeah. Oh, they are half gone. Boston. Baked beans. Boston. Baked beans. Boston. Baked beans. I eat some every day. Soon as I get home from work.

[08:02]I know I've eaten enough. When my stomach starts to hurt. True story, by the way. My doctor said it's fine. Then I turned to him and said, Well, I'm just a little worried, doctor. Cause my shits are all bright red, Boston baked beans.

[08:33]Boston baked beans. Yeah, yeah, Boston baked beans. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time. That song was enjoyed by one person. Me, everybody else was over watching basketball. This game got worse. I'm going to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track. Oh, now it's getting better.

[09:00]Oh, oh, you're ahead of me, Jack. I'm just going to say this to you. So my friend sent me Boston baked beans. They sent me two of these. These were 12 boxes of baked beans. Now I just looked. Okay. And I hate to do math in the summer. God, I hate to do math in the summer. It's like putting on shoes that I have to tie. No, thank you. Not going to do it in the summer. This is a box of Boston baked beans. No shoelaces. No shoelaces. In the summer. Today, for example, I would guess that I ate two and a half of these. I had a bad day.

[09:30]Okay. Don't judge me. I had to go do some. Wait, hang on. What happened? What happened today? I was playing video games. And at two, then at 2 PM, I had to go to the gym. I mean, talk about a busy day. What am I? So I ate two and a half boxes of these and I just looked at the back and I found out that, Hey, says, Oh God, one serving 11 pieces is 70 calories. That sounds good. Right? Oh, that's not bad. Hey, should we 70 calories per serving? So we just check how many servings are in the box. The old servings trick.

[10:00]Possibly be 11. Who would put 11 servings of a candy in a box? I am not sharing this with 10 friends. 11 servings in a box. If 10 friends each got 11 pieces. 70 calories. Okay. Hey, makers of Zep found, go fuck yourself because you are immune to Boston baked beans.

[10:30]All right. I got to get on these GLP twos. You know what I mean? They're the one's just not going to cut it. The guy making Boston baked beans is like, ha ha. That was my moment. Boston baked beans are going to be the candy of the future because fat guys like me cannot stop eating them. Listen, I've got three guys here who are happy that Lou Reed didn't play the oboe on this because then he'd be Lou. Double read. I feel like we've made that joke before. We made that joke. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Cause I was about to say Lou Reed and we'll play Lou Reed.

[11:00]We'll play the cat. And then I remember the cat is the clarinet. We have made that fucking joke before. I hate this fucking podcast. Things are really taking a turn. Maybe we shouldn't be watching basketball. It's been a bad day for Rob guys. He said a tough one. I'm stone cold sober right now. All I have is this monster energy drink. I think this is going to be one of those episodes. Okay. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing today? Rob, that marble shower was fun for an hour, but you're over the hill now and you're looking for love.

[11:30]Hey, listen, in my showers, I want water coming out, not marbles. That would kill. You know what I mean? Was there anything more disappointing as a kid when you got like a marble run and you just made it and the marbles went down and you're like, okay, well, I guess that's marbles and gravity for you. What are you going to do? Oh, you know what? It was more disappointing. I'll tell you one word. Crossfire. Crossfire. When you watch the ad for crossfire on TV, do you guys know what I'm talking about with crossfire? Hell yeah. It's like hungry hippos, but yeah, shooting across.

[12:01]You were like, this gun is shooting these balls at a million miles an hour. It is crazy. This is a dangerous game. No wonder my parents won't get it for me. And then when you actually got crossfire, do you know how the balls were propelled? Russell? Like a little plastic gun. No, it was gravity. The gun was gravity. You dropped it in and it went down a ramp and it was just more marble run. Big marble run. Getting together. A big crossfire fucking me over. I went to a friend's house. He had crossfire. I was so excited. Never. Have I been so excited and then disappointed.

[12:33]Okay. I know what it's like to make love to me because I played crossfire. You know what I mean? Except for the excited part. You beat me to it. But Aaron, the balls are about the same size. So make love to Rob. I feel like I just experienced it. Watching the Pacers blow this game and watching the refs. Not a game. They should. I don't know. Russell, you want me to get close to the camera and you can smell garlic? The only thing that someone has ruined worse than Shea ruining basketball is Rob ruining sex.

[13:00]I see what you're doing there. You're doing the Chris Christopherson bit. We're going to listen to this in like two weeks and we're going to be like, Pacers run a final? I don't remember that part. You know what I mean? Anyway, I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Out of my way. Out of my day. Out of your mind and into mine. We're doing load by Metallica. Oh my God. Oh my God. What a good bit. Matt, that's such a good bit. Isn't that what we're doing? That's what I listen to.

[13:30]Matt, I got bad news for you. Oh, shit. Does that mean I can take the second half of the podcast off? I might just have to. I'll just go on mute. Can I just tell you, Matt, you're not going to get any fuel. You're not going to get any fire. But you know what you are going to get, Matt? Some of what you desire, for sure. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron recently had some U.S. Marines going north or south toward L.A. You guys know me. In California geography. Not sure which way they're going. And Aaron, I noticed that in the background of Aaron, I see like three or four of them in his house.

[14:02]Aaron, you dummy. Don't you even know your third amendment? Dumb shit. You don't have to quarter those soldiers. Isn't it? It's the third? I thought it was the fourth amendment. Aaron, can I just tell you? We've already had an episode where we went through as many amendments as we could name. We cannot do that again. Fourth, by the way, illegal search and seizure. God, I got to kick those guys out. I thought they could stay over. Yeah. I don't have anything clever to say. I don't have anything clever to say about this album, Rob, but I just wanted to say about your sobriety growth mindset. You're not un-sober yet. You know what, Aaron?

[14:32]You're right. But I got to admit, after what Matt and I did the other night, I got to kind of take it easy. Matt coming to visit me made me realize, okay, I got to slow down a little bit. You know what I mean? Actually, Matt, guess where I'm going for Father's Day? Where? We went to a pizza place so good that I'm taking my kids there for Father's Day. That's a good idea. That's a great advice. It was so good. That's usually. You're the voice of reason. Not when you're walking around Washington Square, man. Holy cow. Is that a mecca of people watching?

[15:02]It was crazy, Aaron. Just hanging out. Matt and I just had a crazy day. All right, here we go. Let's get into the voicemail. I had an ice cream cone. Can I just say this, Matt? I showed a picture of that ice cream cone to my kids, and they scoffed at the size. They think you got ripped off big time. It was small. It was very small, especially for six bucks or whatever it was. Do you guys want to see the size of this ice cream cone? I don't know. I've said New York ice cream is made with special water. It tastes different, right? I don't think this ice cream is getting made in New York proper.

[15:31]I'm just going to say that right now. I got a feeling this. It was out of a truck. Yeah, this ice cream. So here's the ice cream cone that we are talking about. That's a $6 ice cream cone in New York. That seems fair. It's like a soft serve cone. Look at the pictures, Russell. Look at the pictures on the truck. Look how big and strong. Russell, to me, these are big and strong. Matt is holding a cone. He's holding something different. Matt's cone, can I just say this? Matt's cone kind of looks like it's 45 years old. You know what I mean? And maybe on some weight loss drugs that have kind of taken away this cone sex drive a little bit.

[16:04]So it's just kind of small and limp and not really worth that much. White on top, a little discolored near the base. Yeah, if you would have gotten brown sprinkles that are somehow going up closer and closer to the top than you ever thought possible, that would be the most accurate cone you could get for New York City. Next time. Yeah. Hey, can you get a cone that looks like this? Show them a picture on your phone. All right, let's get into the voicemail. So Brian Wilson recently passed away.

[16:30]And so my question to all of you is that besides the song God Only Knows, what is your favorite Beach Boys song? Guys, now, you know, I have already laid claim saying that God Only Knows might be one of the greatest pop songs of all time. You didn't say might. You said it was top three. At one point. I think I said number one. I think he said it, though, when we were on our second album. We only had gone through two albums.

[17:00]Now it's like 250th on this list. After some song by Portishead. I think number two was Hot for Teacher. I'm not sure. Listen, I've expanded my musical boundaries since then. OK, but you got to admit, I've been hearing this song a lot since Brian Wilson passed. A couple, too, where it's just the vocals. In-fucking-credible how good this song is. However. I don't know if it's my favorite Beach Boys song. You know what I mean? I'm not sure if it is. What is your guys' favorite Beach Boys song?

[17:32]Russell? Or whoever. I'm going to go. I'm going to go a little different. I'm going to go Surfing USA. And that brings back nostalgia for me. Did you guys ever have like the cassette tape that you always listen to as a family? We had the Kokomo cassette tape and the other one was some sort of like Time Life CD that had like Surfing USA. Surfing Safari. And then a bunch of other like 80s type whatever you pop songs. Wait, was Kokomo on the Cocktail Soundtrack?

[18:02]That was the Cocktail Soundtrack. Yeah. Yeah. Was that with? It was probably not with Brian Wilson. Was it? Or was it not? I don't know about that. Did Kokomo have Brian Wilson on it? That's a good question. I feel like it wasn't. Did it have Uncle Jesse on it, though? That's the real question. Remember for a while, Uncle Jesse was. Okay, first question. Is Kokomo a fictional place? Second question. Did Brian Wilson reconcile with his daughter? Come on.

[18:30]Really fun stuff. The recording featured every member of the group except Brian Wilson, who did not attend the sessions. What about Surfing USA? Wow. Surfing USA? Yes. Definitely Brian. He was definitely there. And Russell, this made me think that a lot more people were surfing all over than I think actually are. Although I have to say a ton of my kids at school every summer. They're surfing on Long Island. I'm going to think about it. Some people associate this with surfing. I associate it with sitting in the back of a minivan as I drive across the Midwest.

[19:02]Now, Russell, are you in a nice minivan with bucket seats in the middle? Or are you doing the short two-seat bench in the middle? You know what I mean? I don't think we ever had the bench. I think we always had the bucket seats. See, when I was growing up, we had the two-seat middle. Or what this really reminds me of is being in the... Station wagon where we had a seat that faced the back. We could sit in a station wagon and you just looked out the back.

[19:31]And so any car coming up, you're just making eye contact with the driver. Yeah, yeah. It was so awkward. It was like the original Zoom. You kind of were just sitting there looking at each other, waiting for this meeting to start. You're like, I don't know. Hey, my life is in your hands, buddy. I don't know what to tell you. Hey, you could make any kind of rude gesture you wanted. It was a great time. You could make signs and hold them up. Yeah. We called it the way back. Yeah. You used to say the way back. Exactly. I'm in the way back. I call it. I'm in the way back. I get the way back. I always only pictured the Beach Boys as a band like surfing band.

[20:04]I didn't... Yeah. When we got on the list and they had the number two album, it shocked me. I had no idea that they were an influential band or anything. I just knew they were a pop band like this. No, and especially for heavy petting sounds, I was like, that's a weird thing for them to be talking about instead of surfing. You know what I mean? It's like... Get that up to number one. That was their head after the surfing. Aaron, what's your Beach Boys song? I... Well, I want to say...

[20:30]I mean, I hate to be this guy, but my favorite song by someone who died this week is Dance to the Music by Sly and the Family Stone. But I will answer the caller's question. And also that the Dance to the Music album cover was taken at Lake Merritt here in Oakland, California. I will say, if God Only Knows is not an option, then I think for me, it's Wouldn't It Be Nice. Very basic. But I mean, to me, that's a great pop song. Hold on. This is going to be mine, too. But we have to be quiet for the beginning. Got to hear the first sound.

[21:00]Because the beginning is the best part. It's one of the best ones. All right. Let's hear it. Well, that's weird. What the hell? I didn't know. Speaking of shitty internet service. Right here. Hold on. Here comes the break. Yeah. Yeah, I think this is probably... I mean, it's just that first lyric. It's just that first lyric, too. Right? Wouldn't it be nice if we were older that we wouldn't have to wait so long? Like, talk about a love song.

[21:30]Like, it's... What are they talking about waiting? Like, for Ross' kids. What are they talking about waiting? I think it's... I think it's... Penetration. Whoa. You know what I mean? That's what I would guess. But they're like, what rhymes? Generation. No. I can't do that unless the song is getting real weird. I... This is a great song. And when I was younger, I did listen to this. And I was like, it would be nice if we woke up together. You know what I mean? Yeah. Would it be nice if she snuck up on me in a comedy club?

[22:01]Scared the shit out of me when she said she wasn't coming? Matt saw me legitimately frightened by my wife at the comedy show. Okay. And then your phone... It's funny. Because your phone was... They make us put them into envelopes, right? So you're not recording everything. And you're like, I don't have my phone on me. She's like, I'm calling you. I'm texting you. And you're like, my phone is in the envelope. I cannot help you. It really was. It was like, I knew exactly how Ebenezer Scrooge felt. I was like, have I eaten a bad potato before he came to this comedy show?

[22:31]Did you do the thing where you replayed the last five minutes of conversations you were just having to see if he said anything that you wouldn't want her to hear? Where you're like, oh no, what was I just talking about? Matt, what did I say? To be honest, to be honest, Matt and I spent most of our time staring at things. That was kind of what... That's kind of how our night was going. I see. That's where you're at. That gives you the impression of what was going on. We stared at people in the park. Then we stared at people at the pizza place. Then we stared at the comedy place. This guy had like this like cane thing that was floating and it was on some sort of string.

[23:00]Oh man. Listen, when the hippies are out doing their fucking magic sticks or whatever and you're just stoned as hell watching it, it's an all-time great moment in New York City. Yeah, that pizza might not taste quite as good on Sunday, but let me know. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect. Of course... You didn't ask for mine. Oh, I thought that was yours. What's yours? You said it was the same one. It was, but I was going to have a top. I was going to have a top three, but I'll go with the top two. I'm going to put in Good Vibrations. I forget what movie this is on, but Good Vibrations is... I'm picking up Good Vibrations.

[23:30]That's the original low voice guy for me in my world, I would say, is that voice right there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think the Oak Ridge boy is back then? They were the Oak Ridge... I want to break and let our listeners know what kind of growth we're watching in terms of maturity on this podcast. Rob pulled up Good Vibrations and did not click on Marky Mark and the Funky Bunches. Good Vibrations, he went straight to the Beach Boys. That's how you do it. How do you know we've matured as a podcast? Can I tell everybody? You could have been a better bitch. I will. I will do better. Okay?

[24:00]But I do better. I can do better. I need to focus. Okay? Although I did make that joke once for the best braid song. That was on a list of best braid songs for some reason. All right. All right. So, yeah. This... So, we're all wrong. This is a banger, man. You're right. Hey, should we read the comments? Do you think that's going to be fun right now on these Beach Boys songs? Oh, yeah. It should be a great time. You know what? I think... You know what makes these songs? It's that damn tambourine in the background. Yeah. That makes it sound much more musical than it would otherwise. It's the tambourine.

[24:30]It's true. I liked... It gives a little extra. I liked when I saw the Beach Boys sing, and you saw what a dork Mike Love looked like, where he's always wearing that hat, and he's got that big beard. And you're like, oh, I can do great things. I'm a fucking dork, too. You know what I mean? Like, it always gave me hope. So many rock stars were out there looking cool. Not Mike Love for the Beach Boys. That is an interesting take, too, Russell. I don't know enough about... I mean, we should... We should get Magic Mike on this, but, you know, like, they're using all eight tracks here, right? Like, they're really making the most of the tracks they have.

[25:00]This wasn't back... Like, this wasn't now, where you can just throw a bunch of shit in there. Like, there's a track for the theremin, there's a track for the tambourine, there's probably a track for the drums, a track for multiple voices. But I think that's why it's the number two. That's why it's the number two album of all time, because they essentially invented and made the most of it for the first time. I will say, I do think it's quite inappropriate that Rob suggested it shouldn't be in the top 25 the same week that Ryan Wilson passed away. Well, yeah. Can you imagine him listening to that episode and then being like, well, no reason to hang on anymore.

[25:30]Russell doesn't think this album should be in the top two. Okay? I'm giving up my tenuous grasp on life. Who do you think's the most famous person that's ever listened to, like, an episode of our podcast? Is it the guy who reviewed our Dr. Dre episode? The Kittens podcast? The Evil Kittens podcast, ladies? Oh, my God. You might be right. Well, you know, we do know a couple of maybe reporters. I don't think he's listening, though. Fuck. He's definitely not listening.

[26:00]No, he's not listening at all. He has good taste. Damn it. I will say this. We did get a comment. I don't know if you guys got the text or it was just me. We did get a comment from a certain gentleman from the Fairmont, Owatonna area about a comment we made on the podcast, and it shocked me that he commented that he had been listening. Well, I didn't see that. I must have missed it. I didn't see that one either. It might have been just to me. It might have been just to me. Wow. Wow. Wow. He wasn't. Well, don't worry about that, Russell. Don't think about. Russell, I find the key to this podcast is I never think about people listening to it.

[26:34]I never in my wildest imagination think that anyone's going to hear the words I'm saying except for you three, and it helps me really come up with a lot of my great jokes that I'm coming up with. Matt, what's your number one Beach Boys song? I'm going to go with Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys. My number two, though. Number two. I thought that would definitely be, wouldn't it be nice? I nailed it. You know what I mean?

[27:01]You're Brian Wilson. If you see this video come out, you got to be like, God damn, we fucked up on our verse. Yeah, we didn't have it. Yeah, we didn't have the ad for it. We dropped the ball. Oh, yeah. We've got the second greatest album of all time. But, but Marky Bark over here just whooped our ass. Like, I wasn't curling any cinder blocks at all. Yes. You're probably like if you're Brian Wilson, you're probably like, I don't know. Well, at least this guy isn't going to get more famous than me, like in real life. You know what I mean? Like, he's not going to become one of the most famous actors of the 2000s for sure.

[27:32]It would be a great, like, parody video to, like, redo this with instead of Marky Mark, it's Brian Wilson dressed and doing the same, like, don't wear the shirt, doing the exact same bit. You know what, Russell? I feel like now would be the perfect time for us to release that video. I think it'd be a great idea. I'll dress like Brian, like Marky Mark. I can do it. We have to give. Some honorable mentions. I know you guys will probably shit on these, but like Little Deuce Coop has got to be like, it's a fun song, right?

[28:00]We hate that one. Help me, Rhonda. Like, you're telling me that comes on in your car and you're turning it off. Give. No, I'm telling you. No, I'm telling you. Yes, I'm 100% turning this off. I don't believe it at all. You're just trying to be too, to their version of Sloop John B. I like Sloop John B. Yeah, I like Sloop John B. Sloop John B is good. Let's go to Sloop John B. This is, I think this is so good. This is my favorite from the Pet Sounds album. I think the Beach Boys' Greatest Hits is a great album. I think it's like a legitimately better than almost every album we're going to listen to

[28:32]in the next maybe two weeks or so, you might say. Like, it's a great album. Imagine if we were doing Velvet Underground's Greatest Hits or the Zombies' Greatest Hits. Just think about that. I think, I think we are doing the Zombies' Greatest Hits, just to let you know. We definitely are. I think their album would be called the Zombies' Greatest Hits, just to let you know. That's how you know. The Kingston Truth. Pull up the Pet Sounds. Pet Sounds. Cover. Okay. Well, this, Pet Sounds was very advanced in many ways.

[29:01]And then you've got this cover of them, like, feeding some sort of goat. The cover was not one of them. And there's a number of issues with this cover, right? Yeah. Number one, look at this fucker, Mike Love, in the background. I'm going to say it again. Dumb shit. Looks like a dummy back there. Second of all, the Beach Boys do not look like cool surfer dudes. That's just the way it is. Brian Wilson looks like a kid I beat up regularly in my neighborhood. You know what I mean? Like, he just looks like a dork. You used to beat up kids in your neighborhood? Of course not. You were that guy? No, I did not. But if Brian Wilson lived on my block, I would think about it.

[29:32]Look at that guy. Doesn't he just look like somebody you could beat up? Now, the other problem, Russell, is that the album is Pet Sounds. So I think their idea was they were going to get pets on the cover. But it's just goats, right? I don't think when you think pets, it's goats. It should be like, you know what it should be, Russell? It should be Mike Love sitting naked. With a cat on his lap. God damn it. That's the greatest cover. That's the greatest album cover we could think of for Pet Sounds. You bet. Yeah. Heavy Pet Sounds.

[30:01]Somebody made that joke already today? I feel like we have. Listen, that's enough of our favorite Beach Boys song. Mine was Sloop John B, though. Thanks for asking. Let's get into Rollin' Goin'. It's, it's, it's, it's time to see what everybody's up to. It's time for Rollin' Goin'. Brian Wilson's estate, if you want me to put that clip. Yeah. You can do a flash drive and put it, and you can dig him up and put it back into his grave with him. Okay, let me know. I'm happy to mail you that flash drive.

[30:30]I will only charge you for shipping and handling and some administrative fees. That's going to be it. You know what? I think we should give Aaron a lot of credit for not bringing up, you know, Aaron's always said he was a bigger fan of Brian Wilson's arch rival, Phil Spector. That's Phil Spector. Yes. Right. Yeah. Yeah, thanks for not bringing that up. Appreciate it. I don't know what it was. Guys, I'm eating a Boston Big Bean while I do this episode. I'm so sorry. I don't like this at all. And when I say, I mean, three boxes. And are you really sorry? I love them so much, guys.

[31:00]I love them so much. But I don't think I'll ever eat one again after going through. I have two boxes. Now, this is not counting the mini boxes, which I went through in like a week. Remember when you cut me off and talked about salmon skin a few weeks ago? This is like six episodes of Boston Big Beans. It's a lot of Boston Big Beans. I went through, I think I had like 20 mini boxes. I don't count those. I went through those immediately. I now have. I now have two big boxes. They don't count. Two big boxes of 12 boxes each. I am now down. So I had 24 to start with.

[31:31]I am now down to eight boxes. My birthday was exactly. How many surveys? My birthday was exactly one month ago. Now, rolling, going. Aaron, how's it going with you? It's going great. Last weekend, last Thursday, Friday, Anna and I went to Lake Tahoe without Wallace for our longest. Hold on a second. Aaron, Rob, Anna. That's Aaron's wife's name, Anna. Take it out. Write it down. I'm going to write that down. Write it down. Yeah. Okay. We had a marvelous time. My mom came out with her husband, Dave.

[32:03]You went with your mom to Tahoe with your wife? Double Dave? Mom and Grandpa Dave stayed here with Wallace. We went to Tahoe. That makes more sense. Had a marvelous time. That's the most time we've ever spent away from him. He was nervous about it at first, but Grandma and Grandpa came through. They brought a bunch of cool stuff. He played, like, had a great time. Also, she brought him some wiffle ball equipment, which I think really did wonders for his swings. I'm super excited because, like, I couldn't get him to take any BP.

[32:31]And he's like... Oh, it's almost funny. It's almost like if a kid can control the bat small enough and light enough that they can actually swing and hit the ball. That'd be good for him. And I learned... Not buying a 31-inch bat. So the last three seasons, like half the kids in my little league... And I learned my lesson about... I learned my lesson with heavier bats. His last... A couple of years... Well, what was it? About five, six years ago. I was in Wuhan, China, and I bought a bat, and it was so heavy, I could not hold on to it.

[33:03]I dropped it. Never found it again. In the airport? Don't know where it went. Yeah, I don't know where it went. I was there buying a pangolin at the same time. Aaron, that's fucked up. I was going to have a joke about... What was the... Didn't the guy have a bat? The name of the bat in the... What's the Robert Redford baseball? The Wonderball. The Wonderball. The Wonderball. He had the Wonderboy, and Rob had the pangolin. Yeah. Well... I did... I did...

[33:30]The natural. I did zap in a bunch of electricity. It didn't seem to react in the same way that Wonderboy did. Not sure about that, so... By the way, deep natural cut for everybody. Deep... By the way, also, I am a big... I am a big fan of that movie. You could say I'm a big Naturals fan. You know what I mean? I just love... Give me those daddies. Hey, you see that movie, The Naturals, on the big screen? Big Naturals. The Naturals? Love them. All right, we're only going with... How's it really going with Rob? Can you just... We're only going with Rob.

[34:00]Can you just Google The Naturals? Can we see what that movie is? The Naturals? Let's look them up. No, no, no. We're not... Well, let's just look those up. Anything Rob's got to turn filters off, I don't want any... I got an idea of what's got Wonderbat written on it. Let's see what it says here. Oh, it's a book. The Naturals series. Are there any spicy scenes in The Naturals? No. Okay. Well, that's enough of that. Is it appropriate for a 12-year-old? Matt, you're a bit bombed, okay? Whereas my Big Naturals bit, sky high, baby. That's why I'm the main host right here.

[34:30]So, Aaron, how did it go in Tahoe? How was it like being kid-free? It was amazing. We had a wonderful time. We went hiking in the morning on the way up, and then we got there and went to the lake, and then the pool, and then went out for dinner. And then the next day, we hiked even more. We hiked up to 7,777 feet. Yeah, 7,777 feet. Came back, sat by the pool. And then Friday night, we sat down. We stayed at a resort on South Lake. On Friday night, there was going to be a wedding at the resort. And so we were like, well, obviously, we have to crash this wedding.

[35:00]Of course. Of course. So we didn't fully crash the wedding, but we did. The wedding was in a tent near the lake, and so we sat down in the Adirondack chairs on the lake to watch the stars come out, and we heard all of the toasts loud and clear. Wow. I know Alex and Sarah so well now. So, like, I know them, like, it's like, I grew up with them, right? Like, I know them perfectly. Aaron, I hate to say this. I hate to say this on the podcast, but did anybody eat shit during the speeches?

[35:31]Did anybody say any jokes that just didn't go? Unfortunately, I have to report that all of the toasts were wonderful. They were so good. My only tiny beef with them is that they were more scripted than I would like. But, I mean, these were younger kids, and they clearly took their job seriously and wrote out what they were going to say. But I learned a ton about Sarah and Alex. They, um... They met on a trip to Tahoe in August 2020, you know, during the pandemic, and then they moved in together really quick.

[36:01]What the hell took them so long to get engaged? That's what was wild. It was like, yeah. That's a long time ago. I know. They were saying, like, I know it moves really fast. And we were like, what the hell are you talking about? Like, it was five years. What are you thinking about? Time's a- Time's a- Time's a-wasting, right? Come on, Alex. Yeah, what are you waiting on? Wait, which one? Was Alex the guy? Alex was the guy. Alex and Sarah, yeah. Come on, what's going on, Alex? Let's go. Get that thing moving. What the hell? I like how Aaron didn't crash the wedding, but he's like, I did just kind of peek in the bride and groom's room. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, I was around. I was watching.

[36:30]Aaron, were Sarah and Alex nice people? Would you playfully shove their cake into your wife's face in front of the whole audience? Yeah, they didn't mind. Yeah, they were okay. I thought, like, I read, because we, as we were sitting, like, we were sitting down in the lake watching the sunset, and then the entire wedding party came down between dinner and the toast to hang out on the beach and, like, vape and take pictures or whatever kids do. Yeah. And I really thought, for a moment, like, someone might invite us up to the wedding, but it never happened. We didn't get an invite. Why would they not? I don't know. I mean, we weren't really dressed for it, but. Let me ask you this.

[37:00]Is August 2020, is that kind of too COVID-y to have met each other? You know what I mean? Like, is this wedding party, was there a lot of, like, American flags and stuff, like, a lot of pickup trucks, like, at this wedding party? No, because they met in San Francisco. We are, we are, we do think it's possible that Sarah is a member of the O'Reilly Auto Parts family. There were some O'Reilly Auto Parts jokes. Holy shit. So we do think that's possible, that this might have been an O'Reilly Auto Parts family. Oh, yeah. We're not sure. Haven't done all the sleuthing. On the, on the south shore of, of Lake Tahoe, probably.

[37:34]I mean, only the swankiest of the swanky people. It would have been an expensive wedding, for sure. Yeah, it was a swanky place. August, August 2020, what a terrible time to start something that you might still be doing almost five years later. But holy shit, Aaron, five years. That is so long to be together without, without getting crazy. It's like being together five years, talking for multiple hours every Friday night and recording it for posterity. And you're still not quite halfway to your goal

[38:00]or something along those lines. Yes, we had a wonderful time. So came home, Wallace had had a great time, did all this fun stuff with the grandparents. It was my mom's birthday the day we drove home. So we took her out for dinner. It was marvelous. Tacos? Yeah, there were some tacos. We went to the upscale Mexican place, but we did get some fish tacos. Oh, yeah. We went to Bombera. Blast from the past. It's over in the Diamond District off of Lincoln. Oh, this is sick. You take 13 over to Lincoln and then you get off and go down

[38:31]and you'll see the Mormon temple and the Greek Orthodox temple on your left. No, we're not. Ice will on your right and you head down, take a right. Can I just say this? It's so fucked. I tried to do this bit over the text chain and say where something in New Jersey was. And Matt goes, and Matt replies to the whole text chain. No, that's not how you do the bit. That's fucked. And I tried to join in and have fun. And Matt shuts up. It embarrasses me. It embarrasses me in front of all my good friends. God, I should have printed that out to say what it was off, right? I'm wrong.

[39:00]He did. He did it completely. The bit is stupid. Nobody cares. So that's it. How's it rolling going with Russell? Rolling going. Rob, can you pull up Kenny Rogers by the Gambler for a quick song in the background? Oh, yeah. The very rare mom's corner outro. We don't hear that a whole lot. We've been in the corner with the mom. What I wanted for a long time. So we'll just turn that down. Let it run for a little bit. Rob guys on a train this last weekend. I went to Mystic Lake.

[39:30]I went to two times. Are we supposed to cheer for that? So I don't know how to get your favorite place where I learned about gambling. So a few weeks ago, my mom, she used to like to go to Mystic a lot. She hasn't been able to go for a while. She told me one day she goes, I have a three hundred dollar ticket that I need to cash out. It expires. Next Tuesday, take this ticket. You need to go lay that money down on the table and turn it into twelve hundred. Your mom made you go. She made me go gamble.

[40:00]Is your mom talking to Pete from St. Paul about when to cash tickets? Like, don't you just cash tickets right away? She gave me one piece of advice before I went. She said, don't lend this money to Jeb. Oh, hey, to the poor people that laugh at that, you're welcome in service. There's a few more. We told the joke. We had a we had a golf tournament.

[40:31]Everybody heard the Jeb story. So it's pretty good. Now, if that gets one of the ten replies of the year from Dave, I'll be shocked that I'm not going to lie. So I had a few experiences where we get out there. So we get the three hundred bucks. Then I got just a little bit more just in case we needed to dig into my own pocket. But upstairs, roommate comes with me. We've played blackjack together before. It's gone well. We sit down, sit at a great table with some rotating people. I would say there was three groups throughout the night. Probably played for three, four hours.

[41:00]Ultimately ended up up a hundred bucks. Wow. What are some things I wanted to share with you? They had ten dollar chips. I've never been to a casino with ten dollar chips. Oh, that feels nice. Yeah. What color are ten dollar chips? They were yellow chips. So they gave me my chips for my initial hundred. And I was befuddled. That were given. Oh, it's that's did you put that in your Yelp review? Were they yellow chips? Were they five dollar tables? Ten dollar tables?

[41:30]Yeah. Fifteen dollar tables. So you were writing a yellow and a red chip as the minimum bet. Oh, the cheapest table. Mystic Lake is there. No, there were cheaper tables. But you're not. I'm living Matt's lifestyle. The other thing they had that I've never seen before. Maxing out those HSAs. A two dollar and fifty cent chip. A two dollar and fifty cent chip. Have you seen a two fifty before? No. Wait, no, we saw.

[42:00]What did they give you? Like coins? Fifty cent piece. When we've seen the silver. Yeah, when we played at Treasure Island, like before noon, they give you the silver coins. If you would have said there's a two fifty chip, I would have said, oh, yeah, two hundred fifty dollars for sure. And you're like, no, this is two. At one point, I, of course, got a few blackjacks and got some two fifties. But I had to ask. Can I even gamble this? Because I was like, I it's out of my realm. I can't handle it. So there's a few other things at the table. We were sitting there first.

[42:31]We play with these two guys that probably mid late thirties, early forties. Really nice guys. And we're playing. We're all kind of winning, having fun, winning a little, losing a little. One guy's bet. Fifteen dollar hands playing two hands, which I'm never a big fan of the guys who do the two hands, but teach their own plays for a while. Betting fifteen bucks and gets bored. Let's it ride. Table max. Five hundred bucks on one hand. Oh, nice. Wow. And what happens? He gets a fifteen.

[43:00]And he stares at their upstairs roommate and says, what are you? What should I do? And I'm like, I'm not answering this. And I kind of elbow the roommate. I was like, do not answer. Russell, you should have said, give me a dollar. I'm now your attorney. We have client attorney privilege. And I'm going to tell you. I do not give any advice in situations like this as an attorney. And I build the other four fifty an hour. So he ends up losing. He busts on the fifteen.

[43:31]So he he grinded it out for before we got there. So at least two to three hours, I would bet. And then bet it all on one hand and got taken out by mistake. Lake. Wow. Rob, you'll be you might be disappointed. OK. Mystic Lake is a no smoking zone. I walked out of Mystic Lake and my clothes did not smell like cigarettes. I've never. Never experienced that at a casino. Wow. What? I mean, way there. Hey, you guys got any reason to go pick up some Red Wing shoes?

[44:01]Any reason to head over to Red Wing? I think I know a little island over there where you can still put down a darter to go on and go on at it with two dollars and fifty cent chips. You know, Russell, think about that. What if you put out like two dollars and seventy three cents? You know what I mean? Like you just got and then you just got a blackjack and you're like, sorry, do the math challenge. Well, they had one where they put out like two dollars and seventy three cents. And then you just got a blackjack and you're like, sorry, do the math challenge. And they were like, they're I think they got out a calculator because they couldn't figure it out, like on a blackjack on something weird. Yes, for sure. But we had a lot of fun. The other couple of quick things I had to share about this table.

[44:32]We went through like we ended up playing with some younger guys at one point. And honestly, I looked at one of them and one kind of looked like Matt's oldest son. And I was like, oh, oh, like these kids, the people we're gambling with are like closer to your kids age, not even close than they are to me. Yeah. Russell. Russell. Yeah. Can I just tell you, you were there gambling. Yeah. With people. And I hate to say this to you that were born in 2007. Oh, oh, wow. These are people, Russell, that you could have had a career.

[45:05]After college, fuck somebody. And now you are playing blackjack with that kid, like legitimately. So anyways, we're having fun with these guys. Two guys that are, they're doing the bit of we're living dangerously, but they really just don't know what they're doing. So the one dealer is like doing the thing where he's giving them guidance.

[45:32]And he's like, well, do you, I'm trying to help you. Like, it's like hitting a 15 against a five, hitting a 16 against us. Like every, they just don't know what they're doing. And the one kid kind of smiles and gives them the, yeah, man, I'm just here to have a good time or something. And the dealer was just like, I think disgusted by him. But anyways, they were fun to play with. But the one thing they did do, we've never had this happen. They did a game. They were, they give away money at Mystic Lake, like through games. So they do a thing where everyone at the, every table stands up.

[46:02]And you do not sit down until you are Delta three. And so this went on for probably 45 minutes. And then finally, what happens if you are the last person, like in the whole set of tables to get, not get a three, they give you a hundred bucks. Wow. And they give everyone else at your table, 25 bucks. That's crazy rules. And that creates like fun at the table, right?

[46:30]Like sometimes in Las Vegas, I'm just like, yeah, I'd pay a hundred dollars just to sit down for 10 minutes. Like that's the point of playing blackjack is like, I'm tired of fucking standing up walking. I'm going to sit down at this table. I don't care if I lose money. We sat there a little bit longer just to kind of see how it played out. But so anyways, we end up where we're down to like our last 20 bucks. The rust man comes firing back. It just starts whooping. Some ass gives it, gives some more money back to the upstairs roommate to get us back in the game. I'm counting it down. I notice we're a hundred bucks up. We've got a little bit left.

[47:00]I tell her, Hey, cap your stack at a hundred and we cashed out up a hundred. I thought that was an amazing accomplishment. And then we took it to the bar and we lost a hundred dollars on pull tabs. Wow. Russell. They're getting the full Vegas experience with you. You know what I mean? The highest. That's exactly my, that is exactly my experience. The last night we were in Vegas last, last year was I was up at craps and then I'm about to leave and put it in my pocket and I see, Oh, Russell's sitting down at blackjack.

[47:32]Maybe I'll go on with these, one of these epic Russell and Matt blackjack runs. So I sit down with Russell, lose everything. I just smashed, smashed, absolutely smashed. You try to sit with Russell and man at the end of the night. You do not get the epic run. No. What you get is the super drunk guys. You get to hang with the super drunk guys. You were like, I can't move my hands. It's like, okay, we're just going to play a couple more that we're going to go. So the other thing I had to tell you guys a few nights ago, I went out with some buddies.

[48:01]We went to the sports. Real quick, Russell. Can I just ask this? Yeah. And I, you got eight minutes left. You got eight minutes. I hate to do it. Russell. He's not listening. He can't hear me. Were there any Iowa double downs during this project? There was one opportunity to do one. And I had told the guys across the table from us, they were kind of that you, they seemed like the type of guys that knew what they were doing in black. Check. It would kind of appreciate the fun of it. And I told him about that. And I told him the joke, Aaron, and they laughed hysterically, but no, I didn't. I chose to not do it with other people at the table.

[48:31]All right. I get that. So I, the other night I went out with a few buddies and we went and watched like a, just sat at the bar. We went to the sports page off of 90th and Lindale in between Nicollet and Penn that kind of down in one of those strip malls right by the donut shop. That's a weird place. Cause it's like, is that the place that kind of, it's kind of labyrinthine inside. Like it has one area. And then another area, each area is kind of different. A little bit. They, they added on, there's a place that they got a second bar. So you can have like a birthday party or something with another bar, but then the garage

[49:02]doors go up. It's awesome. Is that where you lost that pull tabs? Oh no, I've got a different story. So this is not where we lost the pull tabs, but we went and sat down and I'm sitting with my buddies and my buddy went and grabbed some pull tabs. He bought these $4 pull tab tickets and he probably came back with 15 of them. So I'm guessing he put in about 60 bucks, starts pulling them. He kind of slowly, slowly shows me this pull tab. Dude wins $888 on a pull tab.

[49:30]What the hell? I didn't even know they made pull tabs that were that much. How much? Well, if you think, well, if you think about it, if you're paying four bucks, like normally like the highest on a $1, like 200 shirts, right? So, yeah, so that makes sense. And he's like almost jittery. He's so excited about it. He goes back, put some money in tips. The lady and everything comes back. He's telling us about Mrs. Athman. Just so you know, that's, that's Mrs. Athman's is the, that's crazy.

[50:00]That's crazy. That's a crazy thing that you just said. If Aaron had said that I would be losing my shit. So I must do the same. That's amazing. Tips are, he's telling us about how much he tipped her. We were arguing about how much you should tip and he went big. He tipped her 50 on an eight 88, which I thought was pretty healthy. Yeah. I think that's nice. Yeah. I would think, I would think that's nice. I would think 50 at the most. So he comes back and he's got like six more tickets in his hand, rips them up, wins another eight 88.

[50:30]The guy almost $1,800 playing $60 worth of full tabs at a dive bar. Like never play ever again. You were never play ever. Just quit. Wow. Russell, you're not just a gambler, Russell, but you're a winner. That's I mean, you're, you're a winner. That's the way it is. And then, you know what he did? I'll see. What do you guys think of this? I think you have to do this. He did the right thing. He buys all the dinner and all the drinks for all of us that are the three or four of us that are out the whole night. Like that, that's a real guy, right?

[51:01]That's a buddy. The guy without even questioning knows, Oh, this is, this is my night, right? That's my dream in Vegas is to hit it so big that I can just be like, you know what guys tonight? Tell me like whatever it is. It's all mine. Oh, I've never done that yet. Damn. No. Rolling going, man. How's it going with you? We're going to get there, Aaron. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good, Rob. You know, it was a good song. Can we play the theme song to the natural? It really is. Let's see. Big naturals. There's a lot of perfect purple links here.

[51:30]Oh my God. I don't think I've ever seen the whole natural. I don't think I've ever seen more than a half hour of it. 7,000 times. I could probably. For some reason, this video is starting right in the middle. I must have listened to this at some point in the past. This is crazy. Well, you gotta, you do have to. You gotta go about a minute in to kind of get to. What the fuck, man? What is this? This is the part where he's at the circus and they find out he's a pitcher. Just wait. Here you go.

[52:00]Why are you doing the whole soundtrack? It's only four minutes. No, it's a natural theme. Hey, big naturals have been a theme of my whole life. You know what I mean? All right. Some balls coming in. He's about to hit it. Gotcha. I'll go quick. I figured out. Maybe one of the greatest like life hacks I think I've ever needed to discover ever. And I need to share it with everybody. So if you have your phone by you, everybody got their phones. Maybe this only works for iPhone people.

[52:31]So all you other savages without iPhones, it might not work. So pull up just any random text message and just start typing whatever you want to type. It could be jibber jabber, whatever. I think we should start seeing. Okay, what? All right. So like if you, Rob, started wanting to say, start seeing other people, right? So if you ever, if he just would have said C instead of seeing, you got to go over there

[53:00]and you got to try to type it right after the end of E to try to put the ING and it is the worst thing. And you're always fat fingering and can't figure it out. Try holding down the space bar and then using it as a track track bar and you can get to exactly where you want to go. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is the greatest thing I've ever figured out in my life. Did you already know that, Rob? I've been at that for like six years, man. I know. And nobody's ever told me that. Yeah. Did you know that one, Rob? No, you've been like pushing on, did you get a cursor somewhere?

[53:31]Right. I've been trying to get to, I've been trying to, yeah. Bro, I got to tell you though, I get it. Cause when I find little stuff like that with a phone, it's great. But you know what the worst is? Have you ever seen like a current teenager or 20 year old type on a phone? Like on the plane ahead of you? I've seen one use Instagram ahead of me. And I, I felt like a caveman. I felt like the oldest fucker in the world watching this person type and do an Instagram post and go do all this stuff. I was like, oh, we're on a totally different planet when it comes to the phone. We are. We are.

[54:00]Yeah. Absolutely. So. Oh, sorry guys. I actually hit send on my text that I wasn't supposed to send. That's so fucked. To make fun of me over text. I thought we, like, I didn't think it was going to send anything when I was clicking Matt's tips. I'm going to delete mine just in case I do send that. Exactly. So, man, short night. We're at, we're at an hour. That's, that was the tip I learned like maybe a month ago. I put it on my little list and I, it's, it's been like one of the greatest things I've ever

[54:30]figured out in my whole life. Hold down the space bar. Rob, you got any other tips you've been holding on to? You know what? There is one. I have a tip. Can I show it? Do a phone tip? Yes. Yeah. So a lot of times when I go to record stores, I pull up the Wikipedia list of the top 500 albums. Yeah. But it's not easy to find stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'll go into the upper right, click on the upper right of my Android or my Samsung phone, and I go to find in page and I search the webpage on my phone, which I didn't know

[55:01]I could do before. And now, and now when I go to the record store, I can easily find, like if I come across Leonard Skinner, I can look for and know immediately, are they on the list? Yep. We've got to find in page. Find in page is the way to go. Well, can I just say this? It turns out that when you go to the record store, you can find all the records that you make a sticker on your iPhone. It stays there forever in a little folder called stickers. Yeah. And so now the stickers I have is I have one of my kids sunburned legs that I just send

[55:30]out every once in a while to remind everybody not to get sunburned. And then I have that one where I'm nude in the mirror that I sent to you guys before the weightlifting meet. So do I. I didn't see it. It turns out that sticker is on my phone like permanently. So I have to be very careful now because when I go over to stickers, I'm always looking at this image of me where my, you can just see the very top. Top of my pubes, which by the way, it turns out later, I realized there's a live photo. So when I sent it, if you held on it, it just like, as the, I took the phone and it like went down, you can see my dong, which is a nice way to put what it looks like on a, I

[56:01]have, I have actually have a lot of stickers of you guys. In fact, I mean, wow. So I have so many stickers of you guys. A great time. You can send those all out. Most of my stickers are your view. Rob rolling, going, how's it going with you? Listen, went over to my friend, Suzanne's house. We watched some of the Peewee Herman's documentary as yourself. Have you guys seen this, Matt? Did you finish it? No, I didn't finish it yet. I got, I got, I got an episode of Diathlon. Have you guys seen this at all?

[56:30]No. You have half. I watched. If you have experienced Peewee Herman, as I did big fan of Peewee's big adventure, somehow a bigger fan of Peewee's big time. We had every movie in my house on VHS. I watched Peewee's big adventure. And goddamn, if I know now what I would do with my time machine, Aaron, I 100% know not only what I go back in time and hang out with myself and kiss myself in college, but I would

[57:00]do what Peewee Herman did in college. He gets to college. One of the first days he's there, he sets up a kissing booth. What? As like a bit. And he's kissing. And he's like, I kissed everybody on campus. Now, I think he was also kissing all the guys. I mean. You know what? The type of thing that would send you to jail now. I think, yeah, you'd have a tough time making this work. What the fuck are you guys talking about? This is one of the greatest ideas of all time. People are not going to jail for setting up a kissing booth on college campus.

[57:33]Oh, I disagree. Picture a woman in college. Boom. Now she's kissing you as a bit because it's a booth. Guys, I should have set up a kissing booth. Guys, you don't think on a kissing booth on like a Friday night, you'd be getting kisses from people that. I mean, let's face it. You want to kiss them. It doesn't matter. Like, oh, I don't want to kiss somebody in college. Yeah, right. Okay. I would have kissed a side of beef if you would have heated it up a little bit. How many? So Rob sets up a kissing booth in college. And our college is a smaller college.

[58:01]So probably, what is it? 3,000 students. 3,000. Yeah. Yep. What percentage of people give you a kiss in your kissing booth? You think, Rob? I guarantee. You're set up right in front of the commons right after dinner. I guarantee. This is easy. A knock. Every night. Well, hold on. I got a side question. Do you have that mustache or without that mustache? I don't know if I had the part here that goes down. You see how it barely connects here and then it's gray at the bottom.

[58:30]Okay. I don't know. Yeah. At the wrist. Like, I don't want to. I mean. And don't forget, I do look like a grandmother who's just gone through gender reassignment. I mean, but you'd have to kiss some dudes. Like, you'd have to be kissing dudes, too. I don't think that would bother Rob. I'll tell you what, though. I'm picturing a couple. I'm picturing a couple of ladies I remember from St. Olaf. I'd kiss a couple of dudes. You know what I mean? And plus, I mean, you're telling me who the dudes are? Jeff? Sure. Kiss away. Let's go. My roommate and the other guy I played football with. All of them. Okay.

[59:00]Aaron, you want to come get a smooch? I'll give you a smooch. Let's go. I mean, yeah. Okay. Let's do it. But then, maybe a famous author comes by, gets a smooch. All right. Let's get into the album. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. Oh. Oh, yeah. You're giving those ones out. Okay. Now, the difference is with The Kissing Booth, I would remember it and not have to be told about it later. All right. So, let's get into Velvet Underground Loaded.

[59:30]Let's get loaded. This is Velvet Underground at this time. This is like their, I think, fourth album. But they are out touring when they're writing this album. They're touring through Canada. They are becoming kind of a- What year were they born again? 1942 is when Lou Reed was born. Okay. 1942. And just for Matt, Matt, I'm going to look up. I'm going to look up Nico. Okay. Nico was born in 1938. So, there you go. Nico's older than- Of course. Than Lou Reed. Hey, Lou. It's time to go to bed. This is your mom, Nico, talking to you.

[60:00]All right. Don't know why the mom has the low voice there, but it's part of the bit. Now, they're becoming a tighter band on the road. And basically, they get dropped. Think about this. Velvet Underground, like three albums in, got dropped by their record, by MGM. They get picked up by Atlantic. Atlantic says, guys, you need an album with him. It's on it. Hence, the name, Loaded. Kind of a double entendre. They wanted this album to be loaded with hits. Loaded with hits. Double entendre. Double entendre. Now. We need that. We need to get that sound. But- Can you imagine if somebody asked you to double up on you now?

[60:31]It'd be like, excuse me? I don't think so. Okay? I'll double up on you in a Fortnite. You know what I mean? This is Mo Tucker, the drummer. You know what I mean? She is not on the album. No, I don't understand what you mean at all. I don't know what you mean. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if everyone is into that. The guys that'll double entendre up on a guy like me are. Just the idea of like my wife saying like, hey, can you double entendre?

[61:01]Yeah, can you make love to me again? It's such a weird- If she did that, I'd be like, fuck. She's an alien. And now I've got to fuck this alien to save her. Oh, the alien. You know what I mean? It's a great Bush song, by the way. Alien. Sixteen Stones. Is that 501 on the list? No, that's 502. I'm trying to think of a funny alien. Wallflowers. Alien sex joke. Let's not take me to your boner. Hootie. Hootie's 503.

[61:30]Okay, take me to your boner. God dang it. It's the only alien sex joke I can think of. Oh. That guy doesn't listen to this podcast anyway. E.T. Touch bone. Nailed it. God dang it, Rob. You're good. The drummer is out. She's on maternity leave. Album is finished in, like, early August. Lou Reed's like, guess what? I quit the band. Can't do it anymore. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to be told what to do. Kind of this whole album. He was like, eh. But he has a falling out with the band.

[62:01]That happens in August. The album is released in November. So some of these songs are mixed without Lou Reed. He's pissed about it. He's pissed about how the album is ordered. And I'm going to say this. When you listen to this album, I figured out what it is with the Velvet Underground. After I heard the Velvet Underground, I'm just going to tell you, not a big fan of them. Not a big fan of the early albums. Okay? I just don't get it. Lou Reed, Transformer, one of my favorite albums on the list. Transformative to me as a CD. Like, amazing. And I realized... I realized that I love Lou Reed.

[62:35]I love the songs where Lou Reed is singing on this album. I think are so, so good. When you can tell Lou Reed had a big hand, and I'll give you a hint, this one's not one of them. Who loves the sun? This is Doug Yule, the keyboardist, who sang... He sings quite a bit on this album. How old is he? This is so interesting that we have these... Like, this week and next week, the fact that they're right next together, is there a reason for this?

[63:00]I mean, they're so of the same lineage in a way, right? Like, they're like... Yeah. They're both kind of British invasion influenced. I know Velvet Underground's from the U.S., but... This is two years after that Zombies album. Yeah. And you wonder if they like... Because that's when that album got big. It was kind of like... 69, 70. You wonder if they were listening to that. Yeah. Well, it's like that, and I mean, there's... I think there's Beach Boys influence here, too. Doug Yule, 1947. So, when does Pet Sounds come out? 62?

[63:31]What's that? No, Pet Sounds is 67. That's late 60s, right? Yeah. Yeah. Pet Sounds is 67. God, what a time to be around, 67 to 70. You get to hear Pet Sounds... 66. Released in 66. And the Zombies, and this. Oof. Yeah. This is probably... This is probably the biggest hit off the album, right? Oh, this is a jam. This is... This is on the Russ 100 list. This is so good. Sweet Jane. This is, I think, the best Velvet Underground song, right? Yeah. I mean, listen. This is the best known. Lou Reed played it all the time as a live.

[64:00]Listen to when the guitar comes in, because it kind of fades in from the first song, but listen to this. You know what it is? So good. It's a pop song, but Lou Reed's voice makes it unique, right? Like, it makes it feel different. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if it's, like, a bad Bob Dylan impression or what he's doing, but it works for me. I love it. All these songs, under four minutes and 30 seconds, because they wanted to get radio time, which, when we listened to that first Velvet Underground, you know, some of those

[64:30]were long, experimental. They didn't care about the radio, right? Yeah. We talked a lot about, like, the ostrich tuning, when there was a vibe. This is like a David Bowie song, almost, right? Like, it's so... Just listen. Yeah, it's got a groove to it, and it's got a little chorus and stuff. I mean, it's super nice. Oh, it's so good. The Cowboy Junkies cover is pretty iconic, too, you know, because they don't do this as high as they do, but... I think this came out in the early 90s.

[65:10]Maybe they did their... Ooh, the Cowboy Junkies. One of Matt's Canadian bands. Hey, Matt, on Friday, they're playing in... Oh, that's Poughkeepsie, New York. I can go see them. Poughkeepsie. June 18th, they're in Berkeley. Aaron, get out there. Oh, yeah. I'll head over. This is a cool cover. Next up, Rock and Roll.

[65:32]This is a song about Jenny, but Jenny, Lou Reed admitted it was based on, you know, himself, and he's like, this is all of us sitting around listening to Art Break Hotel on the radio. Like, all these people we've talked about. Beach Boys. It's just zombies. You know they all listen to Elvis and got inspired by that. That's what this song is about, which is kind of fun. I mean, so far, except for Who Loves the Sun, first song, these two songs, I think, are bangers.

[66:00]Banger bangers. This is the guy with the high-pitched voice on it, right? It's somewhere. It'll come up eventually. But, Rob, go to level 315 in. This is not... I had mentioned to you guys earlier, tonight, we're going to cover what I think is one of the 25 greatest moments in music. This is not it. Wow. But I love this. I love this. Go to, like, 315 in, and, like, the guitar solo on this, or it's like a guitar fill or a riff quick, is just... It's awesome. Whoa.

[66:31]Yes. Isn't that badass? Yeah. Yeah, it's... I mean, that's unlike anything they've done on previous albums. Yeah. It's so cool. Yeah. I mean, on their earlier albums, that would have been 10-minute songs, you know, of that guitar and, like, a chair scraping across the back. And you know what else I'm not hearing on this? Like, Russell's not so drunk. You know what I mean? Like, when I'm listening to this album, Russell's not just fucking hammered. It's kind of different. Did that happen? I don't know. I don't know. We don't remember.

[67:00]Was that that one or not? Is that where we had to cut out, like, 30 minutes at the end? It doesn't matter, Russell. Hey, some of us don't remember kissing certain people. Some of us don't remember Velvet Underground. Cool It Down. Cool It Down. This is a song about somebody getting kicked out of the club. Out of their apartment. Very New York. No reason to ask any questions following this song. We'll just move on here. New Age.

[67:30]I love the storytelling on this. Just the phrase he's going to utter, where he's talking to an old actress. The phrase, fat blonde actress, is the difference between Lou Reed and everybody else. Like, when you hear fat blonde actress, you're just drawn into the song. You're like, what? You're, like, picturing a story in your head. Yeah, this was the one at first I thought, oh, this is almost too delicate. Maybe not my favorite, but then you start listening. You're right, Rob. You were really entranced in what is he singing about. Normally, words are just gibberish. Like, Matt, you've talked before, like, you're never listening to the words.

[68:02]But this, like, has, it grabs you by the guts. Like, if you want to listen in here, what is he singing about? Right? Yeah. Gotta wait. If he doesn't use the word fat in there, you're like, oh, you don't really think about it. And all of a sudden, you're like. What is going on? Like, I don't think any album we've listened to, I went from not wanting to listen to it, dreading it, to enjoying it as much as I did more than this album. I think this was my biggest. To me, this gets my, this gets my Dirk Nowitzki turnaround of the night.

[68:38]Shocker of the list. Of the list. Why won't it let me? Turnaround. I was the same, because I didn't want to turn off the new. Turnstile's got a new album out. Turnstile's a new album. I just wanted to listen to the new Turnstile all week, but I turned it off for this, and I still want to go back to Turnstile, but this was nice. Yeah. Head held high. The song all about.

[69:01]I got a hot take. Gotta have self-respect. Whoa, this is a rocker, man. Matt might be upset about this. Rolling Stones and Velvet Underground go into a steel cage match. Who walks out? I think it's Velvet Underground. Oh, my God. This is, why is the Stones so much better than this song here? I mean. Longevity. Okay. You know, actually sticking around. You know, Russell, if you ever got to see the Stones live, you might feel different.

[69:30]That's true. I think the other thing, too, Russell, is I think if you put this song on a Stones record, I think it would be like, you know, one of the top eight. You don't think it would be one of the top ones? It would, but I think they would play the hell out of it, too. In fact, I would love to. This also could be a Dylan song, too. It's true. But I got to say this, Russell. If you would have said, you're going to be comparing Velvet Underground with the Rolling Stones, I would have said, well, what are you talking about? I thought some of the early songs were as good as the Beatles.

[70:01]Yeah. This, I mean, this album is like, when they're trying to make radio hits, they can make fucking radio hits. They can do it. Like, I love this. No one's turning this shit off, I'll tell you that. Now. No, I'm not skipping that one. Here's something you're going to hear me say a million times next week. This sounds like a Paul McCartney song to me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Well, what's the one on the White Album that's very similar to this?

[70:32]Rocky Raccoon? Yeah, yeah. Well, Rocky Raccoon and Buffalo Bill, or Bungalow Bill, have a similar. Bungalow Bill, yes. Actually, Rob, do you hear that phone ringing? I think the phone's ringing. Is somebody calling? No, I don't think so. I think the phone ring is hard to find sometimes. No, I think the phone's ringing. Hello? Oh. Toby Keith, that's you? Toby, is that you on the other line?

[71:01]Toby Keith is here? Toby Keith, is that you on the line? Hey, everybody, this is me, Toby Keith. You probably thought, hey, you probably thought I was going to fucking run. But guess what, brother? These colors don't run, except I can't run as fast because I am missing a shoe. Toby, I got to ask you. You'll never, excuse me. Russell, you'll never guess where it is. It's up some liberal's ass. So, Toby, I got to tell you, I was listening to the Velvet Underground today, and I heard a song about a cowboy. And I thought you could join us, Toby, for a list about the greatest cowboy songs ever

[71:32]because you had one of them. It's, it's, it's. Wow. Hit it, hit it, Toby. Should have been a cowboy. Wow. What, what? No, I got to do my intro to the list first. Russell, this is a part. Did it better. And you know what? Can I just say, this is Russell? Yes. It's a real shame I'm not alive right now. Because I'd be writing some fucking song. I'll tell you that right now. You know what I mean? Protesters kiss my ass. I mean, I could just write them all day long. Okay, so now that I've ruined the bit that Russell wanted to do. No, this is your first hit, right, Toby?

[72:01]Should have been a cowboy. Oh, of course, Toby. Remember this? This is when my cowboy hat still almost fit on my head. I should have been a cowboy. It's weird how his voice doesn't sound like his speaking voice. It doesn't, it doesn't. You know what? The Beatles didn't either. You know what I mean? They sang in English. I'm singing in Mid-Atlantic. That's the way it is. Classic country song. This is such a, like, it's wild to me that this guy sang about putting boots in people's asses.

[72:35]This is the corniest shit anybody has ever fucking recorded. And if he was alive, I would tell him to his face. This shit is corny. What? Listen, as soon as that figures out what rhymes with ice, I got a whole new song coming here. It's going to be so good. You're going to love it. And to be clear, I would sing along with this song at a bar. I absolutely would. But it is corny. Toby, next song on the list, Toby, if you could cue it up on your record player up there is Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys With Waylon and Willie.

[73:03]Oh, I love that guitar. Toby, what do you think of Waylon and Willie? Wow, you know what? Waylon and I, we had an issue. Because you'll never believe what he said to me one time. He did not. And you might think this is a compliment, but it is not. He said, I was to country music what nylons are to finger fucking. And he didn't know there was going to be a podcast that would talk about that

[73:30]probably 10 times. You know what I mean? But, Russell, can I tell you what this song reminds me of? Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys. What's that? It's a new song I've been working on. It's called I Love RFK Jr. And He's The Best And I Hate Vaccines. It's really good. How does that go? How does that go? Well, back when Toby was conservative, it was still kind of like, you could be a conservative. It would still kind of be fun. Like, you would just, you know, do like pickup trucks. Now it's kind of a scary, depressing thing.

[74:01]Hey, let's continue our comedy podcast. You can't even drink whiskey if you're a conservative. Toby, next song on the list is from 1996. Can I get serious with you for a second, Aaron? There's only one thing I drink right now. And that's Hulk Hogan's All-American Beer. Okay? I bought case after case of it. And I'll tell you what it fucking tastes like. America. A closed border. That's exactly what it tastes like. Yep. Yep. And I'm down on the border and I'm wearing a sheriff outfit. I bet I could find a picture of that if I tried it live.

[74:30]No problem. I'm dressed up like, don't you know I'm dressed up like a sheriff? Oh, my God. No, it's actually, it's pretty cool. I'm out here tackling senators. Everything's fine. And the last thing she was doing was asking, where have all the cowboys gone? Cool. You guys remember this one? Yeah. This is so good. Yeah. It's a VH1 classic. Oh, my God. For sure. A hundred percent.

[75:00]I don't think I would have ever listened to this song again if it weren't for this podcast. Same. Hey, Russell, can I tell you, this reminds me of a song I've been writing. What's that, Toby? It's called Let's Open Up Federal Lands for both drilling and raising cattle on. Okay? Yes. Listen, it's going to go better than you think. All right. All right. I don't even really want to bring this one up because I'm worried we might have to have Toby sit this one out because we're going to have to almost certainly delete something. Oh, I got lots of songs about this next topic. But the next song is from 2000.

[75:31]It's Bone Thugs, Ghetto Cowboy. What? This is from the Winamp Russ playlist. Since 2001. This has been the name of my fantasy football team. Wow. This is a hard one. This is a fucking song, by the way. I haven't heard this song in a long time. This is a Winamp classic. Shit. All right. Let it keep going. So good. I don't want to stop this one.

[76:00]We've got to keep it going. Russell, I wrote a song. Okay, we'll move on. We'll move on. I had to get another country song on. This one, I think, is a banger for the people that are like 90s, 2000s country. It's Tim McGraw, The Cowboy and Me. This is a great song, right? Oh, yeah. This is classic. It was up here. Oh, yeah. Toby, any thoughts on Tim McGraw? No. Nope. No thoughts. No thoughts.

[76:30]Say it is. I don't have any. No, actually, I don't. I'm picturing. I'm still picturing Alan Jackson in my head. My actual country music knowledge is not that deep, I realize it, because I'm kind of picturing that George Strait kind of combined. It's kind of strange for me. Hey, can I tell you what this was? A theme song? A theme song, though, for? What's that? Brokeback Mountain. You know what I mean? I get it. I get it. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Okay. All right. I figured Rob wouldn't know a lot about this cowboy song, so I wanted to end the list with

[77:00]one of Matt's. But didn't you want to show it? Oh, you're going to make a movie about gay cowboys and not show me hardcore gay cowboy sex? It's pretty brief, isn't it? Terrible. Now, we should be seeing it. If they really wanted to make us thinking about it, it should be everything. It should be a whole... There should be... Okay. Okay. I just said there should be a whole. That was the end of the sentence. Yeah. I'd love to see it. I didn't think Rob would know anything about cowboy songs, so the last one I had to pick one of Matt's favorites. I believe it's Casey Musgraves. The song is Space Cowboy. Oh, I don't want to fence you in.

[77:31]You can have your space, cowboy. Wow. This is awesome, isn't it? Yeah. Casey Musgraves. Russell, can I tell you, this is very similar to a song I've been writing, A Salute to the Nation Space Force. Some of the most brave individuals in our military. We're up right now making sure space is safe. Definitely not just a bunch of money from the government.

[78:01]Russell, that was a great... Toby, it was great for you to join us, but now we're going to need you to give us some space, cowboy. Guys, I'll see you later. I am going back to hell. Okay. Do not get vaccinated. All right. I'm out of here. I'll see you later. Oh, look, it's Brian Wilson. All right. Bye, everybody. I can't, but I can't go until I see the harp sounds. I can't find that harp. Oh, there it is. Goodbye, everybody.

[78:30]I'll see you, Toby. Hey, I'm in hell. Okay. But we have to, if we've got Toby Keith doing cowboy songs, we have to do, we have to. What? Cowboy by Kid Rock. Right? Oh. This is a great song. Let me just tell you this. This is going on my playlist right now. Oh, this is a great song. I have added some Kid Rock to the weight room playlist. It gets almost no play.

[79:01]I'm like, when Bawah to Bawah comes on. Nobody cares. You should go, you should be fucking maxing out every time. That song gets me so hyped every time I hear it. Down the coast. Kid Rock really was a phenomenon, wasn't he? Just like. Bars. He was a DJ that was playing Metallica. So it was like, geez, he was mixing things that shouldn't be mixed. Yeah. Oh, so good. Oh. And then he, and then really Kid Rock too, if you think about it, like in a serious note,

[79:32]think about what Kid Rock did for pornography. You know what I mean? What? Like he took, he had. What? He had porno stars on stage with him. Remember when you started seeing like those porn star shirts, like that became a thing where you'd like, say, oh, I'm a. I'm a porn star or they had the. What? This was because of, listen, I'm talking to people who were not nerds. We don't even live in his life. He's not nerds out there. You know what I'm talking about? Kid Rock revolutionized how porn stars are treated in society and therefore should be

[80:02]put probably honestly, and this actually might happen, be put on Mount Rushmore. Okay. Kid Rock should go on Mount Rushmore right next to, get rid of one of the other guys. Yeah. Thomas Jefferson out. Kid Rock, you're in. Bah, what a bah. Next up, those are good cowboy songs, Russell. That was a great list. I loved it. That was a great list. Hell of a list. I found, and you know what? It was else, Russell was nice. I realized what song we were on when we came back because that was the Lonesome Cowboy. I found a reason.

[80:30]Land in the plane. Listen to these lyrics. I found a reason to keep living. The reason, dear, is you. I found a reason to keep singing. And the reason, dear, is you. So sweet. Woo. What a fucking song. Yeah. It's a song. It's a song. Is this the spoken word one or the talking one? I don't know, Russell. I think it is. The one where he's just talking for a while is a little much for me. Okay, let's see. This sounds like some cheesy college band stuff from the early 90s, but it's much cooler

[81:03]when it's Lou Reed doing it in the, you know, the 70s kind of a thing. But see, this isn't Lou Reed, though. Yeah, you're right. I think he wrote it. Oh. But again, I think at the end of the album, it falls. It falls off. And the reason is, I don't think Lou Reed was as involved with these songs. Like, I'm not stupid. I know an album is not made, like, in order that it is on the album. But I really think, like, his hand kind of came off some of these songs. Because I think you're right. I think if he sings this, I think it's brilliant.

[81:31]I think it's brilliant. I mean, this is like an R&B song. Just slow down. Now, Russell, next to this one, I did write Rolling Stones. Because this one, Train Rounds the Bend, this sounds like the Rolling Stones to me, big time. There was a lot of them. Oh, it's like Stones or Dylan in a bass show. There's almost some Grateful Dead in there, too. Maybe it just sounds like the voice is a little. Big time. Big time.

[82:00]You can hear that. Oh, Sweet Nuttin'. A lot of people consider this kind of an opener song to Walk on the Wild Side. This is so good, right? No joke there. I'm not alone. This song's amazing, right? Right. I thought this album was amazing. This album was really good. When this kicks in, this is a longer song. It's like seven minutes, I think. But when you get halfway in, it really starts, like, just jump a ways ahead. To me, it sounds like the Stones or maybe the band. I heard Grateful Dead on this one.

[82:31]I heard the band. It's like Jerry. Like, when you really think about this, 1970, right? It's just, this would be unbelievable hearing this. Like, it's a pop album and then a big long jam song at the end. I'm telling you guys, next week, we're going to listen to Zombies. It's so different. So different. It's crazy. You've already worked ahead to next week. What are you going to do? I'm always working ahead. Hey, I'm definitely not doing this five minutes before you guys get on because I had to go on a date with my wife.

[83:03]You know what, guys? That's enough of listening about the album. Now, let's get to our favorite part. Let's talk about the album. We're talking. We're talking music. Let's talk about the album. Oh, yeah. Listen, it's Velvet Underground. If we say anything bad about Velvet Underground, everybody thinks we're stupid about music. That's the bottom line. There's something about the Velvet Underground that it's shorthand for saying, I'm hip.

[83:30]I'm cool. I like music that you probably don't even know about. Right? And I never understood it until I heard this album. And I'm kind of like, oh, I get why this is fun. And then you go on Reddit and everybody's like, ah, it's like my fourth favorite album. It's not weird enough. And I'm like, oh, okay. Sorry. People have to look at it like it's like a sellout album, right? I'm assuming. Kind of. Yeah. They want more Lou Reed. They don't think there's enough Lou Reed on it. I'm like, oh, the Lou Reed parts are so good. It's like, oh, you know how the songs are like short and they have a melody?

[84:01]Yeah. And like some pretty guitar notes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe something you want to sing later. I don't know. And maybe it's not all about heroin. That's part of it, too. That's not totally about heroin. All right. Listen. Is this a rolling? Well, toned. Of course we are at, and I don't even need to look, but it said we're at 242. Is this a rolling? Well, toned. That would be like a full box of Boston baked beans. Probably one of the how many calories? Well, since we've started this episode,

[84:30]I've eaten 11 pieces. So I've had four servings since the beginning of this episode. So that would be about 300 calories. Listen, just like a full box of Boston baked beans. This would be a rolling. Well, tone. It's perfect. It's perfect. Nothing could be better. Okay. Just like when you find out your family's been eating some of your Boston baked beans. That's a rolling groan. Okay. Now, nobody in my family is eating Boston baked beans because they're sickened by the sight of me eating them. Or is this album a rolling groan?

[85:03]That's a rolling groan. I'm sorry. If you don't be eating all your Boston baked beans. Okay. But if you go into the bedroom and your wife has covered the bed with Boston baked beans. Okay. And you get to go lie. Down on it. Okay. Which is how I think that's kind of sad, right? If my dream sex scenario starts with me lying on my back. Hey, we, we, we don't shame for kinks. That's true. Mike. No shame.

[85:30]My kink is lying there. That would be a rolling bone. Hey, I'll lie. I'll lie here. You lie there and say, it's good. What do you think? Aaron rolling? Well, toned, rolling, bone or rolling. Damn. I got to write that down. That's a good standup. I was so lost, but I will, I'll say something bad about velvet underground. This doesn't need to be our third velvet underground album. And this is the one that is the most enjoyable. We said all the reasons why no, maybe I'm not a music genius and this is the one I like the best.

[86:02]So I think this is rolling well tone, but can we not have so many albums by the same artist that we're going to have happen again with a certain hip hop artist coming up in the next 50 or so. I was so pissed when I saw that. I used to see who's coming after this. Zombies, Russell rolling, well-toned rolling, bone or rolling grown. I thought this was super, just kind of a fun pop album. It's makes the band feel accessible to the normal idiots like me that just want to hear commercial hit type music. I was thinking Beatles stones.

[86:31]I was thinking of all the great bands of all time when I listened to this. Yeah. To me, this ranks right up there. I just pulled this one up because I thought about this today. I was listening to pet sounds when I knew we had a call coming in and I knew Brian Wilson had passed away. And then I was like, well, that kind of went back and forth with Sergeant peppers. Right. And I was like, Oh, I don't think I like this more than that. I pulled up rubber soul. Go look at the songs on rubber soul. The hell if this isn't a better album than that. Yeah. I think for me, this is maybe a top, top 50 ish,

[87:00]maybe even top 25 album for me. I really love this one. I want to go purchase it. I want to relisten to it. I think it's a great album. I'm going to say it's rolling bone. It's got to be way higher on the list. Bold, bold thinking. X man is not on here, which of course is the best Beatles song. In my life. Yeah. This is bad. I'm just saying I would rather listen to me loaded or whatever. We just listened to by the velvet. Aaron's favorite song is on here. Run for your life. He loves that car. Who haven't I asked yet?

[87:33]Aaron. I didn't ask Matt yet. Well, I asked you to kind of have to go again. Sorry. What the law of the podcast? It's rolling. Well, I know, but our, our Supreme court justices are literally just Toby Keith. Okay. That's it. Rolling. Well, you didn't set up this well. Okay. Okay. Matt, what do you think? Rolling? Well, tone, rolling bone or rolling grown. I think it's rolling. Well, tone. I feel like the whole Lou Reed experience is like a few other kind of bands.

[88:02]Like, I mean, let me be like a David Bowie, right? Where you hear one or two David Bowie songs and you're like, well, yeah, that's great. Whatever. If some guy from the seventies kind of forget about it, when you go through the whole thing and you listen to all, all of his stuff, maybe you do it chronologically. You're like, well, Lou Reed is a musical genius kind of a thing. Right. And so if you have the time to listen to it all, and I have not done that yet, but I, I've kind of started getting into that where I'll try to go through a whole bands list and try to figure out if I like them based on that or shut them

[88:34]off after a couple albums. So I got, you know, so I think if you did that with Lou Reed, yeah, it would be great. You know, it sounds great. All that stuff. And yeah, maybe he's the mouth breathers like me and Russell need to, to listen to some of this stuff, some of the poppy stuff to, to understand or get Lou Reed or kind of get into them. But I think it's part of it. So yeah, we are going to hear another one. I think of like in the two seventies, another velvet underground album. So that'll be four albums in the top two 70,

[89:01]which is just too crazy. It is too much. So let me tell you this, man, here's the ultimate test. Russell, is this album going to show up in your record collection in the next month? Oh, I think so. Yes. Yeah. I think this and like transformer, I think if you got these two albums and gave them to like a graduate, you know, Hey, it's June it's dads and grads. Okay. Go get this album to either these, those two albums, either a dad or a grad, you're going to get, you're going to hook them on it for life.

[89:30]Two great albums to go together, transformer and loaded by velvet underground. Great, great, great. Now, unfortunately I'm still, I was, you cut me off, Rob. You didn't let me, it doesn't sound like I'm still going to listen to the blue album by Weezer 10 times out of 10, before listening to this one. So it's true, which is like two 94. I haven't heard either. Yeah. Great album. This gets, unfortunately you guys are incorrect. Nah. And I hate to do that again, where I give you three options and then the actual options is not correct. Hey, I wonder if that will,

[90:00]maybe you'll be correct on the 500th episode. Tune in five years from now, 20, 2031. You can't come soon enough. Let's go. This gets a rolling final. This gets a rolling final album. Guys album. Yeah. There's something sad about a superstar leaving the group that helps him get a start. You know what I mean? You get voices from one of us. You get voices. They help hold him. And eventually they're not enough to contain his greatness, but you know what? If they wanted to keep him around,

[90:30]they should have let him do what he wanted all the time. Not keep editing out songs. Okay. That they think are too dirty about people's wives. Also, they should have sent him more wives of their picture. Also, they should have sent him more pictures. They should have sent him more pictures of their wives and more wives. Yeah. I just, is that a chat GPT? Oh, I wrote it. Ignore all the big hyphens in it. Next up. You know how we read. That's what I do on chat GPT. Now, when I'm ready, like letters to the kids, I'm like, take out all the hyphens. Is that what everybody could tell?

[91:00]It's chat GPT. Next up. You guys know this is a bad joke. You know how we record on zoom. Yes, we know it. You know how we record on zoom. Oh, well, I mean, I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. You know how we record on zoom. These guys. Hello. These guys, these guys basically came up with the idea. That's why next week we're talking about the zoom bees with odyssey and Oracle. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all.

[91:33]Hello. The zoom bees. Next week's song is so disappointed. When you turn it on and realize it's not the cranberries singing zombie. It's like an incredible disappointment. Fuck me. That's a bad joke. That's a better joke. Shit. I mean, it has the benefit of being a joke for you. Jack. Shit. Did it better. Okay. Is that the phone ringing? I just want to say. Is this when the real quick. I just. Is this the big surprise?

[92:02]I just want to say. As I take Alex's hand. Okay. I just want to say to the guy sitting out by the chair. Stop asking me if I'm going to put it in her muffler. Oh, no. No. You know what I mean? Stop yelling from the chair. You're not even in the wedding. Actually, a muffler is kind of a double. You know what I mean? Either one. I mean, really. And if that fits, I got a boot you can put up right next to it. Oh, my God. Oh,

[92:30]my God. You know what? Russell, I was good. I couldn't think of anything else for what's his name to fucking talk about. I feel like I feel like more Toby Keith right now. It gets in trouble. Hey, is that an all time set up for me? They come with a list where Toby Keith is the one running for us all the time. I loved it. I loved it. And the crazy thing is, right? We had that Willie Nelson song. That's what always tickled me is how Toby Keith had that song of like, we've got to get law and order. And then, and then Willie Nelson's like, yeah, we need law and order.

[93:00]Hey, unless you're talking about weed and taxes, I agree.