Carole King: Tapestry (1971) (...with a side of pie)
[0:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts, and we promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are up to album 25. Guys, we are, I figured it out, we are like 5% through this list. Wow. This is 1971's Tapestry by Carole King. And I got bad news for everybody. Well, not for everybody, mostly just for Rosie. Listen, Rosie, we're actually not recording a podcast tonight. We have decided that this is an intervention, and we need to talk about this. And we each recorded a little something to talk about your rolling goings. Because we've noticed that Russ pointed out during the episode the other day that your rolling goings are mostly just what you've eaten. Okay? Or what you're thinking about eating, or things that you have made and then given to other people to eat. So, Aaron, let me, I know that you don't understand some stuff unless it's you listen to a lot of music.
[1:00]Let me play a little music to try to help you understand what we're talking about here. I'm thinking about. I got the big sir melt. What I'm gonna say. Which is a grilled cheese that has shrimp in it. On this evening's podcast. Tuesday of this week. I cooked a nine pound brisket. I've been thinking about it all day. We ate black eyed peas and collard greens. That was good. I better think of something real fast. We did it. Yeah, we had some cheese turd in one of our stainless steel. Then I think about the stories and rolling goings from Aaron. And I realize I can do just like him and do the absolute bare minimum. Like, what's Aaron's meal?
[2:00]Like, what's Aaron's meal? Like, what's Aaron's meal that he made instead of working? We made a big switch two weeks ago. We switched from veggie sausage to veggie ham. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time. And there's a part that I can think of that I couldn't. But you're just too lazy to look it up online. If you want to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track. I've got the perfect podcast for you. Jack did it better. By the way, that song is so incredibly slow compared to what you think. You can hear me. I'm trying to speed up the song. And I'm like, no, it's very slow. Welcome everybody to Beck did it better. The exclusive content for real freaks like you who like to listen to this stuff. And I'm here with a couple of freaks. These are three guys who would before the record.
[3:00]We're talking and they said they wish the song was called. You let me feel a natural woman. So I didn't like that. I thought that was very bad. Let's say hi to these guys. I got Russ in Minnesota. Russ, how are you doing? Rob, I used to think it was easy doing this podcast with you. You were light and breezy. I knew just what to do. Now you're a shock jock and I feel like a fool. Yes, I've very much changed since the beginning of this podcast. I definitely have. I've adapted a new persona. I've got Aaron out in California. Aaron, how are you doing? I'm good. I feel obligated to tell you that it was quesadilla night tonight. So everything's fine here. Well, Aaron just blew his rolling going. He's going to have to go get an encyclopedia and start reading. He's like, what did I eat yesterday? I got to think about this. And I have to say, too, I also want to say I do feel bad that I made two weeks of two songs in a row just directly making fun of Aaron. But it was so good. I couldn't not do it. And I got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Excellent, Rob. Excellent. Thanks. Thanks for having me. All right. Love the energy.
[4:00]All right. So the first thing we have right off the bat is let's start with a voicemail. Beck, did it better. Love the podcast. You guys do great work. If you could assign a ringtone to everybody on the podcast, what would it be? Love it. Okay. So first of all, I think this is the perfect call because, number one, they didn't do a backhanded compliment. They just said it's a good podcast. Period. That's it. And it was short. They had a question. They have a phone that actually works. Now, I do have to say, I don't know what time machine they stepped out of where people are still getting ringtones. Like, are people still, like, buying ringtones off the TV or whatever or making their own ringtones and putting it on their phone? I don't know. I don't know who's still doing ringtones. But do any of you guys have any ideas for us? What ringtone would you do for other people on this podcast? The first one that jumps to my mind is I would probably go with some sort of old school pro wrestling theme music. And I know Rob wouldn't like the hockey. Don't, man. But I would give Rob the song Sexy Boy, the Shawn Michaels theme song from back in the day, if you guys remember that one.
[5:00]Oh, that'd be so good. I think what? I think you're hearing it in the background right now. And by the way, that's a real pain in my ass when we do that during the podcast and then I've got to cut it in later. I think I'm cute. The last episode you guys did, like, five times. He's got the looks that drives the girls wild. Man, Rob, you would be the sexy boy. I'll tell you what. That's better than the ringtone I currently have. This is not good. When this goes off during class. It's not great. And it's so good I had to listen to it. Aaron, what do you got? Any ringtones? It's not quite as embarrassing as when your pager goes off. The only ringtone I ever paid for was back on the hip. Hit me on the hip. The only ringtone I ever bought was back in the day when your Nokia phone would play with the phone. Digital sound would actually play a song. Oh, yeah. My favorite ringtone was Grinding by the Clips. I'd have to give that to Russell because Russell's grinding on these podcasts every week. He's grinding. Yeah, I'll give either one of you guys $100 if you can sing one note of Grinding from the Clips.
[6:00]All right. Thank you. So that worked out well. Yeah, it just beat like. Still not singing. Grinding. You know how I keep in the line. Better stay in line, man. Wow. I think we have our parody song for next week. Why? Why didn't we see that coming? Why didn't we see that coming? That Aaron was going to pick some weird ass song for a ringtone. I don't know why. So I'm guessing the whole ringtone thing. These artists, they let these companies do this, right? So they can make some extra money. Yeah. So whoever that group was that did Grind and they got like a whole cent and a half because Aaron was the one person that downloaded that ringtone. That was the Clips. It was Malice and Pusha T. I mean, probably Pharrell got the money. Aaron liked that ringtone, too, because he'd be on a date and then Grinding would come on and the woman would look at him and be like, Oh, this guy likes it. He's Grinding. Aaron's like, yeah.
[7:00]Aaron kind of does the look over his phone like, oh, yeah, maybe. What do you think? That's his. Yeah. Matt, what ringtone would you assign? I'm going. I've got Russell. I'm going to go Russell. I'm going to go with a song, I think, by Big Pun. I'm not a player. I just crush a lot. Oh, yeah. I'll take that. So you can hear it right here. I don't want to be a player no more. Yep. Yep. That's a good one for Russell. I would even take the old school 8-bit Nintendo sounding. Version that would go on my flip phone right now. That would be perfect right now. I'm down with Big Pun. Yeah. I'm telling you guys, Crazy Frog is the ultimate ringtone. It's really good. Do you guys remember that song? What the hell is Crazy Frog? No. Okay, I'm going to play. It's Axl F by Crazy Frog, and it was like a. Yep. Yep. We might need to restart this, right? Oh, my God. This might be a key for the restart. It's so good. We've got Crazy Frog grinding. I have no idea what's going on. My seven-year-old has got that album. Love the Crazy Frog stuff. Do you guys have any customized ringtones? On your phone right now? No.
[8:00]Does anybody let their phone ring anymore? Anybody who lets their phone ring in public is a savage. I was going to say that kind of the next level from everybody used to have a ringtone, and Then now everybody's just silent. Like, just don't let your phone ring. Let's just. PSA, don't let your phone ring. You don't be that person. But then from now, the big thing is just have your voicemail just be full. This voicemail is full. I don't want to hear a voicemail anymore. I don't want to hear it either. I'll call you back if it's needed or text me, but don't leave a voicemail. Don't have a message and say, hi, you've reached Matt's phone. Leave a message after the tone. Like, what is the point of that anymore? And then what is the point of leaving a voicemail? This is your mom. Call me back. You know, I don't know. With that PSA, we should definitely encourage people to leave us a voicemail on the back line right now, Rob. What's the back line number for all our idiot voicemailers? To leave a voicemail, or you can send us a Bext. It's 802-277-2325. That's 802-277-2325. That's 802-277-2325. 802-277-BEC. I do have a customized ringtone for different people calling, because I do think it's very funny when people call and it's a customized ringtone.
[9:00]And the big one I have is that when my wife calls, I have the theme from Godzilla vs. Mothra that plays. So every time she calls, it's like, wah. And then it's a picture of her calling. It's just a picture of her chest. So I laugh every time I pick up the phone. I'm like, ah. It's the little things in life. And then my daughter sees. That she's calling. And they're like, you're a bad person. So let's get into our next section. Okay, so that voicemail didn't spawn a good conversation. So guys, do better, please. Okay, we're counting on you here for content. We'll try. We'll try. I did like a whole lunch table beat to grind in, like old school Hamilton style. What are you talking about? That's my best work. I'm not going to do anything better the rest of this episode. You're like, hey, call my phone. Check out this song. And they called. I'm entirely too sober tonight to hear Aaron. And say that was his best work. I don't know if I could keep going right now.
[10:00]No, that was. I would agree. That is Aaron's best work. All right. So now let's get into everybody's second favorite section on the first favorite section. Of course, is where we rate the album. Everybody loves that part. They don't ask me to explain it in real life. It's a humiliating when I have to have podcast conversations in real life. It's time to make fun of Aaron. Oh, here we go. Didn't we already do that? Oh, yeah, don't worry. He likes it. I don't own a microwave. All right. So we got a couple of things. We do have this. I did play it in the song, but I want to play it again from last week. But we made a big switch about two weeks ago. We switched from veggie sausage to veggie ham. Now, listen, we spent the whole last episode making fun of him for that. I'm not going to go back. OK, but I just want to remind you, we are trying to make an hour's worth of content. And that's the kind of help I'm getting from my one of my co-hosts here. That's why I'm not the main host.
[11:00]Big switch. Big switch. Now, what's a little switch, Aaron? If that's a big switch, what would be considered a little switch? Well, like different brand of sausage. Like if I had gone from Morningstar to Beyond, that's like a small switch. Although the Beyond stuff is really hard to cook. Yeah. I mean, you basically just heat it up, right? Well, yeah. You're not cooking anything. Yeah. No, yeah. You heat it up. He doesn't have modern heat up tools. But he doesn't have a microwave. So it's hard to heat it up. I get it. You've got to go out in the backyard and avoid the pea spot and like use a piece of flint To start a fire to heat up his triducate or whatever his sausage is called. The Beyond meat has to be heated up to a safe temperature where it's not totally frozen And you break your teeth on it. Any other temperature is fine because it's made out of like beets or whatever. The safe temperature of beets. But listen, we can make fun of Aaron for that. We can make fun of Aaron for that. Aaron, shut up. We can make fun of Aaron for that all day. But there was something that he said that we totally missed.
[12:00]And I want to remind everybody of this. So let's listen to this. So I think a chicken and churro cookie would be great. I can't roll my R's, which is why I never succeeded as a singer. So this I don't get. You should cut it just so I've never succeeded. That's why I've never succeeded. Stop it. Cut that. You see where that gap? Here we go. Here we go. That's why I never succeeded as a singer. There we go. We can put that anywhere. So Aaron, why exactly would not being able to roll your R's, Why would that cause you to be such a shitty singer and kind of ruin my wedding? Because if you're singing in a language other than English, Mostly Italian, You need to be able to roll your R's to sound idiomatic to the language. And I could never do it. I don't know. It never worked for me. You're sounding pretty idiotic tonight. I love this section of this.
[13:00]I love this section of the podcast. It's so good. We just pile on Aaron and he loves it. He really does. He loves the attention. He thinks it's fun. Aaron, say churro one more time. I just want to hear you say churro. Let me try it. Churro. Yeah, I can't. I can't. I can't do it. Churro. That's so strange to me that you can't roll your R. Can you do that thing with your tongue where you make it into a U? I'm not. We're not going to turn this into Aaron. And like, we're not just in case we're streaming this thing live. And I wish it's a visual joke. I don't wish our listeners could do it. Rob is doing right now. Rob, you can see right after you were born. What? I hope that Rob, is that the face you make when you're doing the VR, The VR and you're quote unquote snorting for certain things? Yeah. Yeah, of course. I got a story about that after the podcast. I got to tell you a very short story. All right. So let's get into everybody's what? Third. I'm not doing this anymore.
[14:00]It's rolling on. It's time to see what everybody's up to. It's time for roll it. Go. All right. We are getting into rolling going. Everybody has thought of great things to talk about, but you know what? First, we're going to talk to Rosie. Rosie rolling going. How's it going with you? It's going great. And I'm not going to talk about food tonight. I do want to say. We'll see. It's been an exciting week this week in America. Tiny tidbit that I do want to share. We've been very excited. My son was born at the same hospital where Madam Vice President was born. So that's been exciting. That's been a fun little fun, trivia point for you all. Kaiser Oakland. So that's been exciting. We've been talking about that. I spent today. Is he marching around your house demanding that he be called Madam Vice President for the last week or not? No, not yet. So lately, he's been Victor Starspeeder. That's been his main game lately. My brother sent him, some Jedi Academy graphic novels.
[15:00]And so he spends his entire day, playing that he's Victor Starspeeder, the star of the Jedi Academy. So he and Artemis are out there visiting indoor and using their lightsabers to win the Jedi lightsaber fencing tournament. Far, no, he does know Kamala Harris's name, but he's not asked to be addressed as Madam Vice President, but that might be coming. So your son, he does, he doesn't use the lightsaber to like destroy evildoers. He just does it for fencing tournaments. Oh, no, no, full on. No, no. We've yeah. He's, he's, he's all in on destroying people. We've tried to discourage that part of things, but yeah, he's ready to, he's ready to fuck up some Sith anytime. So we're, we're trying to, we're trying to discourage that part of things. What if that's the one thing your wife was way into is like encouraging that she's like, yeah, fuck those guys up. Like cut off their arms, cauterizes their wounds. They're still alive. Torture them. Slowly twist the lightsaber into their eye. That'll make them talk. And you're like, wait, what? Aaron's like sitting over there on the park bench, eating a piece of chicken out of a plastic thing.
[16:00]And she freaks out. He's like, what are you doing? And then she turns and she yells back. I'm like, get back to your fencing tournament. Yeah. Stick his head out into space. The change in pressure will make his sinuses explode. I mean, he would be into all that stuff if we allowed it. But I mean, you've, you guys have talked to my wife. She's not really the type to promote that kind of thing. No, that was actually the point of that last joke I made is that's the opposite of how she is. So the joke, and I'm going to explain this to you. The joke I made was that was something she wouldn't say. And that's why I said it like that. I was, some people would say exaggerating for comedic effect. And I said, I'm going to look that up. The other thing that was really exciting today is that it was it's pledge drive week on the jazz station. And today they've been bringing people in, in, pairs. So typically it would just be Elisa Clancy by herself, but, she would have somebody. In the studio with her. They were today all day today. They were playing. And I don't know if I can say this.
[17:00]Some people call it gypsy jazz. This is hot club style jazz. I don't know if that's offensive or not, but I really enjoyed it. A really good day. So I didn't get to do a lot of my last minute listening to Carol King. Like I usually would have, because I was listening to the, hot club of Paris jazz, a little Django Reinhardt, Stefan Grappelli. It was a nice day. So that's what I'm at today. Reinhardt little guitar. What was pledged style? Is that like a fraternity thing or what is pledged? What are you talking about? Pledge or is it like the kitchen cleaner? What are we talking here? We're going to go play jazz on the quad. Every 10 minutes. They're trying to get you to donate to become a member of, of the KCSM, which I as we know, I'm already a member. I got my, hand crank radio for my membership. So I didn't for me, I just enjoy what's going on. And that's when they play the hits like pledge drive is when it's like, yeah, we're doing all miles for a day or all Coltrane for today. And today was a hot club jazz. So it was nice. And if you, if, if everybody donates, they stop playing jazz. That's the gift. All right.
[18:00]Give me the Venmo account. I'm in. I'm in. Let's get to some real songs on this radio. They're going to launch into a WWF old school wrestling station. Honky talk man at the top and bottom of every hour. Oh my God. I can't find the honky tonk man theme song. It's I officially pledged. $10 to the news, the new station for the honky tonk man song. All it's just, give me my, it's just, oh, you're coming in from Russell from a donation. We're going to hear the ultimate warrior theme comes running down. He's going to match donations for the next hour. Matt rolling, going, how's it going with you? Good. I think I finally hit the point of, this COVID lockdown where I'm starting to get bored. Like I think I've hit the end of Netflix. I've, I don't know what else I'm trying to get through.
[19:00]You know, the list and yeah, I could use some VR. Oh man. But you know, so I, I, I'm trying to get through the list and every time I want to sit down and dedicate some time and listen to a couple of new albums, like something pops up and reminded me of college when you'd be sitting there and be bored and be like, what are we going to do on the Saturday night? And there's many different ways of, of categorizing this. We'll call it a slump buster. You know, we need some sort of slump buster to get through things. Okay. So we would always sit down. We'd literally say, we're going to watch the three star Wars movies. You know, we're going to start at like four o'clock. We'll watch it through. God damn. I miss college. Literally within like 45 minutes, something would pop up, right? Somebody's got a racquetball game or somebody who's decided to go to somebody's house. Some woman would walk in and be like, a dog took my shirt. You're like, all the guys look at each other. I go, I have an insane all of all the time. This is good. It'd be a good night. Yeah. So something like that.
[20:00]But you know, every time, is there anything that you guys, have, or in the past have You done? Is there anything that you start and either you can't get through it because something Always comes up or you're just literally like, look, I'm going to, I'm going to sit down. I'm going to dedicate some time. I really want to go through, all three godfathers and then you just can't Get it. You know, is there anything that you've used in your life to kind of either fill boredom Or. Use it as a slump buster that you can think of, Matt, I'm going right back to college When you were saying when you were in college, you guys used to do star Wars when Aaron and I were juniors, we lived in a dorm and there was a group of freshmen that decided To pass the time one weekend by trying to watch every movie of the leprechaun series. Remember like the horror movies, the leprechaun and they called it the leprechaun Of fun. And so they went out and they bought like five leprechaun movies and they literally Sat down in the living room. They sat down in the lounge. There's like eight dudes down there sitting there watching every, I'm the leprechaun over
[21:00]And over, but they couldn't make it through the whole thing. They had to quit because they could never find leprechaun and leprechaun in space. Yeah. And so they looked at, they looked on eBay, they looked everywhere. They could never find leprechaun in space. So they had to give up the quest. So that was immediately what I thought of is I remember Aaron and I going down and thinking, These are kind of the people we're supposed to be mentoring and they're watching. I'm the leprechaun. I would give up my family so fast to go back to college for one day. I mean, just hearing that sounds like so much fun. Can you imagine if now I was like, we're going to watch all the leprechaun movies. You'd be like, okay, well maybe I can do it in like two weeks, but I'm supposed to go To the farmer's market with my wife tomorrow and she gets mad if I don't go. So I'm going to taste her pies. I actually have another one. Can I jump back into, let's hear it. Okay. It was also part of this too. And this one's even way worse. You guys remember the magazine Maxim? Yeah. It was kind of like the PG or PG 13 version of playboy. Like it kind of had like all this guy stuff, really attractive pictures of women, but they
[22:00]Weren't, it wasn't nude, right? Scantily clad. Right. Right. Scantily. I heard about that magazine. In, in one of the episodes of that magazine, we were in college, they had a list of the Greatest 50 sex scenes in regular movies. Oh God. We watched them all. Do you remember this Aaron? Yeah. And so we started a list where we tried to watch every movie that had one of the greatest Sex scenes in it. So it's like basic instinct. We'd go and rent basic instinct at the movie theater from the video rental station In town. Right next to Taco Bell. And so once a week it was me, Aaron, probably two other buddies and a few female friends Did it with us too. And then we'd like seven or we'd like do seven or eight of us in a room and we tried to do Like the whole list of 50. I bet we made it through like 20 and we'd rank them and discuss them and everything. It was great. What was really rough about that list was that so many of those scenes were from the Movies that were not fun to watch. Otherwise depressing movies, Angel Heart, the Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet joint.
[23:00]That was terrible. I think Eve's Bayou might've been on there. I mean, stuff that was just like really heavy shit. And then there'd be like one sex scene that was like, that's great. And then you're like, well, what the fuck are we doing now? Like we're in the dorm. We're not drinking beer. We're just watching some creepy movie and now we're depressed. Rob, what's your, Rob, what's your favorite sex scene in a movie right now? Go. I would say like 20 minutes in and jacking at four. I think there's a real good one. Where you really do believe that she has her head stuck under the TV. And since she is the stepmom, it's like, this all makes sense to me. I think Mickey Rourke is in that one too, actually. Rob, can you bleep this out? But you also have to remember in college, we also had another adult movie moment When one of our friends found a DVD laying on the floor of the dorm and it was Called ultimate. Oh, no. All our secrets are out. We found this DVD and someone like put it in and I remember there was like You know, 10 idiot college guys like sitting in the dorm packed in someone's room right
[24:00]Next to each other watching ultimate doing the very hetero thing of watching porn Together and be like, Hey, pretty hot chicks while we're all sitting here together. Oh, this is pretty awesome. Remember the main actress in the movie, she had some sort of British accent. And then for years afterwards, we would always talk about ultimate whatever the, whatever The accident is. Do you remember this? Yeah, it was classy. I mean, it made it more classy with the accent for sure. She's a bit like, Oh. You know, lick my hair and you're like, Oh, no, that actually sounds really nice. I can think I'm in here just for mom and dad. Like it's, it's great. And then, cause that was always the thing too, is that you're in a, you're in a pod, Right? So you're in a pod and so you're watching this porn, like with a bunch of guys at any Point, any female can walk in. Like, can you imagine that now? Just like anytime they could walk in and you'd be like, what are you guys doing? It's like, well, it's watching all the, well, the first one, no, no, no, not The first one. It's like a pack of animals. There's safety in numbers. What I don't get is like, what was it? It was ultimate for. You would think after ultimate one, they'd realize it should be penultimate, right? Like they know they're going to make another, that can't be, this episode is going to wear
[25:00]Out that bleep. Like you wouldn't believe the bleeps are great, Matt. I'm not sure we answered your question, but you know what, man? All I want to do is I have a podcast that I listened to called action boys. I think it's a very superior podcast and they watch one action, old action movie. I don't know if you've heard of it, but I don't know if you've heard of it. All I want to do is watch. So this week it was Police Story 2 with Jackie Chan. My fucking family will not let me sit down and watch a movie that I want to watch at any time. My family will only watch the Lady Gaga Super Bowl Special or Greatest Showman or Elf. They've seen those three movies, I bet 100 times each. They only want to watch the same thing. My wife included. They don't want to watch anything new. So I'm trying to watch Jackie Chan beat up people. I'd like Greatest Showman, but after the 50th time I saw it, I was like, Okay, I can watch other stuff now. I just cannot get through an action movie in one sitting whatsoever.
[26:00]There's always kids like, oh, I'm hungry. I'm like, again? Like I fed you like a day ago, I think. Like I'm pretty sure it's the worst. I don't know. And being in an apartment, there's no escape, right? Like there's one room, everybody's in the room. So everybody is watching Police Story 2. Is that the worst thing about this entire coronavirus lockdown situation Is that every meal, there's another meal coming up? Like, you just made one and then it was like, oh, I made a good lunch That I really enjoyed. Oh, I wasn't going to talk about food, never mind. I knew you were going to talk about food again. I made it this far without doing it. It's not even my fault. Aaron, I think the worst part of coronavirus Is all the dead people, but yeah, you do you. All right, so I'm going to cut that out. I feel bad about saying that. Roland, go on Russell. How's it going with you? It's going well. It's going well. My week has gone well, but I've had this realization Over the last few days. That I am good at certain things, But I am also incapable of basic tasks. Do you guys ever have moments where you just, There are basic things that other people can just do
[27:00]Without thinking and it's beyond what you guys are able to do? Sending out. For me, it's alphabetizing anything between F and like P. If it's in like the J, L, like a G, I don't know where a G is in the alphabet. L, L, M, N, O, P. Yeah, I always have to be like. Troubles with the L, M, N, O, P. I have to be like. Probably get through F in his porn search On the VR machine. He can't get past F. He doesn't know what comes next. Well, let her just stepmom start with. I had this moment the other day where a few of our lucky Listeners now going forward, if anyone backs Or leaves a voice message. I know Matt doesn't want voicemails anymore, But anyone leaves a voicemail. We'll maybe try to get him some, Some back did it better merchandise, A new shirt that we're putting out there. Nice. But I was trying to mail this shirt to a few friends Into you guys and it literally took me, I'd say three and a half weeks to mail shirts. I'm incapable of doing it. I had no idea how to do this. Like, do you guys typically mail packages?
[28:00]Yep. No, I don't think I hate it. I don't think I've ever mailed a package in my life. I go, and so I was like, Rosie loves mail packages. I was like, I don't know what to do. Do you go to the, Do you go to the post office and they just give you bags? Do you get Rob snorting now? You need some time at home with your Preferred package to get it prepared. And then you can't be doing that stuff On the fly at the post office. No, I'm saying this because I would freak out too. Yeah, you got to prepare it. You got to get some time. You got to get it ready. Make sure you've got all the right Ingredients sitting right next to you. I don't like this. I don't like this. Not going to turn the lights down. And now it's not even making sense. I can't take any credit for it, right? My lady does all the She does all the hard, She handles all your packages. Yeah. And she's like, okay, Erin, We're going to the post office. Go sit in the back. I mean, he gets in the back of the car And he drives the post office and goes, okay, Stay in the car. Don't touch the keys. I'm going to turn on the AC for you. I'm going to hold on to the wall. Keep these doors locked. Keep these doors locked. So when Erin says, yes, he mails packages, He goes and sits in the post office parking lot. That's true. His son is looking at him frowning
[29:00]While holding a lightsaber. Like, don't you, don't you have fun back here, oh man. Just like Darth Vader got put down, I'll put your ass down too. You are my father. You know what? I do rustles. I go into the post office And I see whatever the most expensive Possible option is and I'm like, That's going to work for my package And I just do it that way. Like I don't ever think of like, What ways, what can I put in a flat rate? None of that makes sense to me and I panic And I just do the most expensive thing. It's terrible. It took me numerous days and trips to four stores To try to figure out how to mail a shirt. I had no idea. I've never mailed a shirt before. So I go into the post office the first day And I'm kind of looking around. I was like, oh, they got to have something. I can just grab and I can pack them in there, right? Shirt box. And so I'm kind of walking around And the first day I went to the post office it was packed And I was like, I'm out. I'm not doing this and just went home. So then I went in the second day. I went during the afternoon because I was thinking, Oh, it won't be too crowded. I went in and I saw these bags, these express bags.
[30:00]And so I grabbed like a handful of them and it said free. Grabbed a bunch of them and I grabbed a bunch of these tags And I got home and I was ready to pack it. Wait, wait, wait. Let's stop right there. Why didn't you do it there? Like there's pens, right? You just do it there And then you take care of it. And there's the people there. You can ask them like, can you help me out with one? There were like 15 shipments going on. I couldn't do it in there. I had to get the hell out of there. There's no way I could have stood in there For 45 minutes doing that. You don't know if you're going to end up With a less than friendly postal employee either, right? Like you don't want to go up there And ask them for help. And then behind the glass they're like, You dummy, you're supposed to have all this stuff done. Like I'd be terrified of that. I'm with you Russell. Yeah, no way. But so you just would default to not asking The question of the person who's there To help you pack things up. That's what I did. So I grabbed the bags and I grabbed the tags And I went home and then I was getting ready To write on the tags and pack them up. But I realized I had a regular bag But an express sticker and I don't know if that works.
[31:00]And so then I looked up the express stickers And this means I'm paying 25 bucks to mail a t-shirt. I was like, well, I'm not, I can't do that. So then I panicked and freaked out And just decided to leave it alone for another week. And then I was thinking, okay, eventually I got to get these. I finally, I drove Matt's over But I couldn't mail the rest of it. I didn't know what to do. So I started Googling, hey, how do you mail stuff? There's these t-shirt bags you can get at different stores. So I went to Walgreens. I didn't have the bags I wanted. How do you spell mail? Because that might be part of your problem With the Google stuff. If you just type mail stuff and you typed it wrong, that's bad. Oh it's not bad. I think it was, I don't want to say that. It also wasn't good that I put the question mark At the end of it. I think that sent me down the wrong path. No, no, no, you should always do that. But so then I couldn't find them there. So I just got frustrated, went home, Put it off for a few more days. Then I tried going to Office Depot thinking, Oh, maybe they'll have something. I didn't have what I was looking for. So I went to like three or four stores Until finally I went back into the post office And just asked the guy like Matt said I should have the first time. He's like, yeah, just grab those bags.
[32:00]And I was like, there's no stickers for the names. And he goes, oh, we keep these in the back Because people use them for scratch paper. They weren't out there the first time. These assholes just put them out there. I would have been fine. So they helped you and then you immediately got mad at them. You immediately got very mad at them for helping you. Well, they could have just left the stickers out there. That it's not like they're fancy stickers. They're just regular stickers that you write on. It's not carbon copy or anything. But you know, that's just why. So I sent all these guys a holiday gift Of the only thing I could think of, Which was a towel of a picture of me and a Speedo. So hoping that their kids would see it, Maybe their wife would use it When they got out of the shower or whatever, You know, or whatever it doesn't matter. You know, whatever. To me, the idea of you toweling off with my face Is very funny. I ordered four separate times And paid shipping four separate times Because I did not want to go to the post office once. I clicked, I found all of your addresses And mailed them out because I do not want to go. And the post office is only a 10 minute walk for me. I can just walk down there. I don't want to go. I hate it every time I go down there.
[33:00]I feel the same way, Russell. I feel immediately stressed. I'm always doing something wrong. There's never a pen. It freaks me out. I don't like it. There's old ladies that go in there And they know exactly what's going on. They walk up and they've got their package set. They're all ready to go. But then there's other people that go in there And they're like, me, they have no clue what's going on. So this one guy walked up next to me And he had a package, But he had the wrong sticker on it. Dumb shit. The guy behind the counter is looking at him. He's like, oh, you've got the wrong sticker On this package. We can't send it like that. And the guys think, oh, what do you mean? We can't the wrong sticker, wrong package. You have to go home, undo all that packing tape And bring it back. And the guy is kind of just frustrated. He's about to walk out. And then finally the guy turns around and he goes, What if I just pay the higher rate? And he goes, oh, you can do that. And he goes, how much more would it be? He goes, instead of $5, it would be $7. He was ready to send that motherfucker home Instead of paying five. He had to pay seven. But the guy, he wouldn't have even known
[34:00]If he didn't ask. Well, that's bad. I have found that if you go in for like, There's a myriad of different people like this, right? Like you have no idea what's going on. My lawnmower doesn't start. What the heck do I do? If you go in and you're just self deprecating about it And you're nice because there's so many old, Crotchety people that just come in and say, You need to fix this for me. You know, like, well, hello to you too. If you just go in, and this is me personally, If you say, hey, how are we doing? I appreciate any help you can have here. I'm a newbie. This is the first time doing it. How do I send this? And what's the right stuff? You know, if you just fall on the sword And you're not just a complete prick to the person, They are so happy to help you Because that's their job. But just don't go in there like, They owe it to you to tell you how to do it And you'll be fine. I don't know. I don't know if that was a man not being a prick to people. So I might have to stick to my medicine. That's a smart shit. Yeah. I'm going to five storey. I just think, I think of it as this, Russell. You spent, let's just call it two hours, You know, over four trips trying to figure this out. Oh, no, no, no.
[35:00]I'm just, I'm trying to be nice. I'm saying like, it's probably like 10 hours. Yeah. And it could have been handled in like five. If you just would have waited in line and fell on the sword And just said, hey, I got to send 15 shirts. Can you help me out? Like I really appreciate it. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm really bad at this. Will you help me out? They would have loved to have helped you out. But I've told you guys, I do this. I've done this before. I panicked when I went to the Michael's craft store once And I just left. I didn't want to ask. The record store. I panicked when I went to the record store and just left. I panicked and I leave. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's your, you got the third, You got the therapeutic Davenport of love here That you can get all this stuff out. We'll help you get from point A to point B. We'll keep talking about this stuff. And it's just baby steps. Russell, I'm going to say it again. Whenever I'm in a situation where I think, oh, I'm so stupid. I don't know what's going on. I just think back to any time I've been part of a job Interview. And I realized that I am by far not the stupidest person Around because I've interviewed people. I interviewed a guy for a teaching job where he came in Literally the second thing he said is, yeah,
[36:00]I don't get along very well with students. We're like, okay. Well, that's weird. We didn't even ask about that for one thing. So I don't know why you volunteered that. That's not a good thing to say. There are always people who have no idea what's going on. You just got to be like, I am not those people. It's like when we had kids, we were nervous About having kids because it's like this, We can screw this up. Like even picking a name Like we pick the name Annabelle. And all of a sudden we looked in the book After we named her and it's like, oh, Yeah, that's what people named cows. And people always made fun of me growing up. And I was like, oh, no, we've wrecked her life. But then it's like, there's so many people who are not As good at stuff as we are. And they've raised kids just fine. There's so many other ways you can wreck her life. Like you've got plenty more chances. You've got years to still wreck her life. But I think all those people can probably Mail a package better than I can. I would just like to return to the concept Of the therapeutic Davenport of love. If we ever create a band, that's it. Or that's what I'm going to show them a penis. Russell, can I get a couple of shirts And say therapeutic Davenport of love, please? Can you send me like two or three shirts? And then the worst part is, Is the guy would ask you
[37:00]What are these shirts for? And you're like, oh, yeah, well, we have a podcast And we made a bunch of shirts And we're sending it out to people. And he'd be like, actually, we're closed. I can't help you. Good night. I'm pretty sure that's from some... I've heard that somewhere. Like I didn't come up with that on my own. So we'll be stealing, but that's all right. Most of the stuff we do on this podcast, We steal from someone. No, we stick to fair use policies, for sure. Don't look at that. 2022, that'll be my New Year's resolution To ship something again. So I'll get on that. Rob, Roland going. How's it going with you? I'll tell you what. I'm in hell. Erin, I don't want you to laugh at this, But my wife is now really... And Erin, don't. Please. Please. Okay. My wife is way into pies right now. Erin, come on. This is a family friendly podcast. Erin, she is way into pies. She's into all kinds of pies. She's just making pies like crazy. And so her baking class has now switched to pies. And so she is coming up with her flavor story for a pie. And I'm not going to ask you guys About what your flavor story for a pie is,
[38:00]Because it'll just be too much for me. But she is making a movie theater pie. And before the podcast, You guys saw me taste a couple pies. You guys got to sit there while I ate pies And told her what I thought of the pies. It was a great joy for you. I think you all... We saw you eating your pie. And listen, this is my chance To take the listeners behind the scenes. It wasn't just that we got the chance To watch Rob taste the pies. Rob looked at us in our eye sockets and said, Don't talk, just watch me taste these pies. Well, I didn't want to spoil my rolling going, But you guys figured it out when I started eating pies And she was like, eat these pies. That's what my life is like every night Is I have to eat all these pies. Like I haven't had a real meal in a long time. It's just been various forms of pie over and over. It's an absolute nightmare. I cannot take it anymore. Okay? It's like, again, it's like the thing I thought I loved. But Jenny appreciates it, right? But Jenny appreciates it, right? Yeah. Sometimes she thinks I eat the pies too fast. You know, she's like, can you slow down and eat these pies? And I'm like I got to get to sleep at some point.
[39:00]So the pies are pretty good. You know, usually they're good. But she is making her theme now Is she wants to make a movie theater pie. So she wants to remind you of a movie theater When you go in and you have it. So she's like looking at movies And seeing what the pies are like in the movies. Yeah. I gave her a movie called Ultimate F***ing Court. No, I, she wants to have a pie that reminds you Of when you bite into it of going to the movie. So all the pies are popcorn based, which is wild to me. Was this a Pee Wee Herman movie or what movie? What movie is she at when you guys are having the pie? Listen, are you guys on the maximum list? What number of the- And he makes you work for me? You guys at Eve's Bayou? Are you enjoying a pie with some Eve's Bayou? Well, Jenny insists that we still go to theaters. So I don't know. That doesn't seem safe in the first place, But she does, we keep going and she doesn't care. Some people that got in trouble for that.
[40:00]Yeah. And then she doesn't, she doesn't wear a mask. She tells them that she has a medical thing And she doesn't want to wear a mask, but- Hey, Rob, does it ever interrupt your pie eating When you're wearing the VR goggles? Are you able to continuously eat pie With the VR goggles on? Like when you look up, Does that ruin the horizon or anything? I can eat a pie on a lot of different planets With those goggles on. I can eat a pie anywhere. You know what I mean? Like I can eat three, four pies at a time if I were to. Uranus? Can you be on Uranus on your pie? Yeah, definitely. So here's the deal. Look at Eric. But I wanted to say that somebody in her group is making, And let me tell you if this pie sounds tasty to you, Is making a sick day pie. So it's a pie that reminds them of what they eat When they're sick. So it's- They could maybe work on the name of that a little bit. So I was, well, that's what I was going to ask you guys Is what do you- Chicken noodle soup. What is your go-to when you are not feeling well? If you, or when you were a kid, What's your classic sick day food? So, Aaron, you do a cherry seven up. What else?
[41:00]When I was a kid, yeah, I was cherry seven up. Yeah, now whiskey, I guess. Just whiskey. Oh, no. Yeah, it is strange though how you have, I mean, do you ever have cherry seven up When you're not sick now? Like it's a very strong, That for me, that's like ginger ale. Like ginger ale is a very strong- Yeah, ginger ale is a good choice. And sick food. No, I haven't had cherry seven up since I was a kid, But that was what we had when we were sick when we were kids. Russ, Matt, what about you? Does that exist? We used to always, did you guys ever get strep throat When you were a kid and you had to have that pink medicine, That pink liquid that just tasted terrible? Do you guys remember that ever? Yes. We used to, my mom was a nurse and she, Her way of giving us that medicine was, You would take a spoonful of Hershey's syrup, Eat the Hershey's syrup, down a shot of that pink stuff And then chase it with the Hershey's syrup. Oh my God. And so it actually worked really well, But I can't stand to steal a line from Matt. I can't stand Hershey's syrup anymore. If you gave me a Sunday with some sort of Hershey's syrup on it, I would not touch it.
[42:00]I don't care what that pie looked like. If it had Hershey's syrup, I'm not eating it. Honestly though, this concussion explains a lot for me. Russell was very avant-garde in his cocktail choices in college, And I'm not going to say the names And some of the ones that he came up with, But Russell was always pushing the limits Of what a true cocktail was. And now I know it's because he was doing that from a young age, Combining flavors, experimenting. He was always out there. It's all his mom's fault. Yep. Oh, I didn't know. I don't want to say that. Teaching him young. Yep. Oh, the chocolate with medicine. That sounds great. That's like me giving my dog, Like I put a pill and I put cheese around it And then he goes, That's exactly the same thing with you, But it's medicine and chocolate sauce. What did he say? He goes, What is? Yeah, he loves it. Matt, what about you? What was the sick food for you? Well, I was going to say I don't know. I just, I can remember being like, Sitting home sick and having like a grilled cheese sandwich. You know, that wasn't like, Oh, that's great. You know, things like that. And so I'm trying to think of like a pie That's a grilled cheese sandwich. Like maybe that works.
[43:00]I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Cheddar on apple pie, right? That's like a thing in a place in the country. I've never had it, but I know what I'm doing tonight After this podcast. Big news, guys. It's now a pie cast. Okay. And that's a good joke. Okay. So let's talk about, what are we talking about? Tapestry with Carol King. Fun, great. So it's a 1971 album. This is her second album. Although she had hits from the sixies on That she had written. I mean, Carol King is really a songwriter For other people, right? Like that's what she's, That's what she's mostly known for. I do like her voice. I think my main issue, and we can talk about this. Well, the main issue is just how the album sounds. It sounds like it's a little too soft for me, Especially after listening to some of the ones we have Already. It was just kind of like, I don't know. But anyway, let's talk a little bit about the album here. She has written or co-written 18, 118 songs That have ended up on the Billboard top 100. Like that's, that's crazy. This album was selected as album of the year
[44:00]At the Grammys. She also won a Grammy for best female pop vocal performance, Record of the year, song of the year. I mean, this album crushed. This album remained on the Billboard charts for 300. The top 200, it stayed on there for 313 weeks. So think about this. Holy shit. That's six years. Like it's, it's a, this album is an absolute monster. It's on there longer than any other album. The only other album on there longer is Dark Side of the Moon. And we could go 313 weeks of this podcast And Matt still won't get to talk about Pearl Jam ones. So I, sons of bitches. This was on there for that long. Maybe Green Day, but not Pearl Jam, Matt. Sorry. As a solo female artist, She's the longest that's ever been on the list Until Adele Pastor in 2017. And so I guess when I was listening to this album, I had a very strong opinion. This is our new section that I just came up with. Okay. And we're going to do this from here on out.
[45:00]Who do you picture? And you can picture anybody at any time. You can get in a time machine. Who is listening to this album? And I'll start. I'll tell you what I think. I think this album, when I heard this album, I picture this is like a mom in 1987, Whose family has left for the Saturday And she has a Saturday afternoon at home Where she can do whatever she wants And just relax or do the dishes Or maybe pick up the living room Whatever she wants, she can do whatever she wants. And this is the album she puts on In the house wide stereo system. Like this is a major, this album gives me Major mom energy. Russ, have you ever, If you were going to seduce a mom, I would use this album. And they've got time to themselves. All moms should just be doing chores. Is that what you're saying, Rob? Well, that's how I picture it, Which I realize is problematic now That I say it out loud. Rob, luckily for you or for me, I should say if I'm going to seduce a mom in 2021, I've got Carol King tapestry on vinyl here. So I've got it ready to go on my record player. But when you're saying, Who do I think would be listening to this? This album has a lady sitting in a windowsill
[46:00]With a cat. Like I'm not a cat guy, But if you look at like the greatest album covers ever, Just some random lady sitting in a windowsill With a cat in the foreground, It's got to be a cat ladies listening to this album. That's the only person who could be listening to it. I'm going to push back. Think about the thriller. Think about thriller's album cover. He's got a tiger on there, doesn't he? Or like the inside of the album, He's Michael Jackson sitting there with a tiger. That's like an actual tiger. Well, smart music guy. Yeah. I mean, no, it's nice. I like the parallel. Rob's right. That's good. Okay. Thank you, Emerson. I appreciate that. Aaron, who do you think is listening to this album? And keep in mind, I texted that I was going to talk about this earlier this week, And I asked you to be ready for it. Both questions you text, You gave us a heads up on. It would be a complete disaster. I'm trying to decide what I'd like to say Because I agree with Rob. I don't want to say that I agree with Rob, But I agree with Rob. It's big mom energy. But the two people that I picture listening to this record,
[47:00]Three, I guess, are Donnie Hathaway, Roberta Flack, and Aretha Franklin, Because they all covered You've Got a Friend, Which I think is one of the greatest songs I've ever written. I cannot stand her recording of it on this album, But clearly this album reached people who I really respect And those people made some great music out of what Are some great songs that really poorly recorded on this record. Can you imagine Aaron at a Carole King concert? She starts singing the song. He's like, boo. They're like, oh, you don't like this song? He goes, no, actually, This is the greatest song ever written. What would typically happen there is Aaron would say, This song, it sucks, right? Yeah, it's true. I would not say that about You've Got a Friend, But I really don't like her recording of it. Part of me thinks Aaron doesn't like it because of the cat thing, And Aaron's got this 20-year-old cat That's peeing all over his house And he's just ready for it to move along. I mean, you're really, yeah, You're touching the nerve there, Russell, for sure.
[48:00]I definitely, I may have threatened To move out of my house this week. Matt, who do you think's listening to the album? I'll take my tap stream with me. Anybody who's walking through a Montgomery wards in like 1982, This is, nobody, Rob, are you I think the only reason this is good, We've talked about elevator music before, I don't know if on the podcast, But in our Zoom calls previous to the podcast, And I mean, it just feels like this is just On in some JC Penney's or Montgomery wards or something, That's not around anymore, and that's it. I don't know, like, this is boring ass music. I mean, it's shocking when you see how well this album did. It's crazy. Like, it's crazy successful for being this album. 25 million copies. It's so long. But it feels like it's kind of like the Eagles or something Where there's not one person on Earth who could say,
[49:00]Like, ah, that's not a decent song or something like that. Like, they're all just so unbelievably safe, easy songs. I mean, they're nice to listen to and all that, But there's nothing groundbreaking about them. I think this album is full of hits. If we, when we start, Yeah, but it's full of great songs. Every song is a hit. It is. Rob, let's, we should get to it, Rob. And I do think one problem with this album Is this first song, I Feel the Earth Move. I think this sets a tone for the album That the rest of the album does not keep up with. Agree with you. Yes, it starts off great. I mean, this is funky. This is like a great song when this would come in. Yep. It's like, it's kind of a sexy song. I mean, if you were with some woman and she was like, When I'm with you, I feel the Earth Move. I feel this like sexy stuff going on. I would take that as a your overweight type of joke And just, we wouldn't be going out again. I love it. I mean, this song. Russ, I feel the Earth, I feel the Earth moving every time we take a step On this outdoor walk on our first date. Yeah, I'm out of there. Well, see, they would say that.
[50:00]And I would say, well, that's because I have a waterbed. Yeah, that's right. I'm still rocking a waterbed. She wouldn't be able to get so far away from me so fast. Waterbeds are the big man's nightmare. I had a friend who had water. I had a couple of friends who had waterbeds And I would sleep over. And when you're big, your upper top, Your top part is bigger than your legs. And so you would constantly be sleeping slightly head down. It was a nightmare. It was like your brain was filling up with the blood The whole time. It was the worst. Okay. So that was my bit on waterbed. The worst experience I've ever had Out of waterbed is actually punctured a hole in it. And there was an ultimate, oh my God. Oh, okay. Now I can't edit that out. That joke is too good. Damn it. Bleep. You just keep bleeping it. I think if we bleep out squirt, It's going to sound way worse, actually. That song came out as a single with a double, A double side, a single with, it's too late. And it was number one for five weeks. I mean, and that song is a banger. And then you're like, yes, this album Is going to rock this album. I mean, I'm ready for some high energy.
[51:00]And then we get to So Far Away. I'm always disappointed because this is not The Dire Straits or Katie Webster cover Of Dire Straits of Far Away, Which is a far superior song called So Far Away. Well, is that the other problem with this album Is that so many of these songs are done better By other people, even if she wrote, By the way, she didn't write the lyrics to all these. She wrote the music to all of these. It's not always the best. Yeah, every one of these, every, I mean, every song that I like on this album Has a recording that I prefer by another artist, Which is not a knock, necessarily, On Carol, she was a songwriter. But yeah, this song. And I think a lot of it's Lou Adler's fault, I feel like he was the producer. We read about Lou Adler and it turns out He doesn't really have a signature sound The way other producers did. I think he was just a rich guy. But of interest to our listeners And everyone on this podcast, Lou Adler got his start Managing Jan and Dean with Herb Alpert. So if it were not for Herb Alpert,
[52:00]Perhaps this album would not exist. Yes, Mar-Valbert, I think that was awesome. Yes, from way downtown. Jan, meet Dean, meet Jan, yes. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, the song is, This was the second single that you released. Do you know what the other side of the single was? Smackwater Jack. Can you imagine getting that single And that's on one side and Smackwater Jack Is on the other side? You're like, this is the worst thing I've ever bought in my entire life. Smackwater Jack is the most fun song on this album. We'll get to it, but it's like the Actual most fun song on the album. Yeah, well, that's because it's the only one Where she's not singing about her feelings And instead she's singing about Some guy in a swamp boat or something. I don't actually listen to what it's about, But it's what it sounds like. Yeah, and the tempo is more than Like 65 beats per minute, which helps. This was a song though, Where she was talking about how She travels so much in performs or whatever. I don't know, is she writing like on the road? I don't get it, but that it was, She was lonely and she was missing. I have the exact opposite experience. When my wife is traveling for work, It's the greatest like half week of my life When she's gone, when she's leaves,
[53:00]I turn to the kids and I go, You know what the rules are when mom's gone And Amelia will look at me and be like, There are no rules. And I'm like, yeah, that's right. We could do whatever we want all the time. Video games that are underwear, all day. I have a screen required dinner, Where you have to have a screen In front of you at dinner. It's a rule. You can't have dinner without a screen. It rules, it's the best. Do you guys ever do anything When people go away on vacation? Or do you remember anything when you were younger? I feel like I've been barred From talking about food on this album, But I mostly just like make weird tacos If my lady goes out of town. Like I just. All right. Yeah I don't know. Keep it above, boy. Now it's time to move on. Give us your number one weird taco that you have made. This is what we've been waiting for. Smoke salmon with like Greek yogurt on top, You know, with some hot sauce. What color is the salmon before you cook it? What color is the salmon before you cook it? I mean, I just form it up. It's usually like pink, I guess. Oh my God. Interesting. Interesting tacos. And then you put white Greek yogurt on top. Why? Why did you do this to me, Russell?
[54:00]Pink taco. Why? All right. Let's keep it up for the start. Barry from Burnsville likes that joke. I'm so sorry. Are you? Are you sorry? You're sick here. I like the idea that Aaron's like, Looking over his shoulder, he's like, My wife is gone. It's time for me to go crazy. I'm going to make these tacos. I'm going to make salmon tacos. His wife calls, Are you making salmon tacos at home? You better not be. I come home and if they're salmon around, You're in big trouble. He's like, no, dear. I promise I'm having- No, it's already cooked. It looks orange. It looks orange. It's fine. I'm having free range lettuce. I promise. He's taking the, He's taking the cover off his microwave. He's like, oh, I can't wait to use you. I love you so much. Every time Aaron's wife downloads an episode, He like grabs her phone and pitches it out In like a plate or something like that. Don't listen to that. Yeah. No, this is true. Oh, just so you know, We're not doing the podcast anymore. Don't try to download it anymore. Okay. Yeah. That back did it better. That's not me. She's looking at a shared photo stream on their two phones And it's like pictures of his microwave.
[55:00]She's like, what is this? What are you doing? Okay. That might be a very personal thing. My wife and I share a photo stream And I see pictures that she takes. And I'm like, it's all like inspirational sayings And like how to get out of a marriage. All right. So let's keep going. Do you think Aaron's wife ever looks at Aaron's VR porn history and it's just like constant, It's constant things that are bad for the environment? No, it's like, it's like fun lunches. Like Aaron's on there with VR. He's like, different meats he can make And different tacos. He's like, oh yeah. Yeah, it's just like shawarma. Super-sized french fries. Yeah, it's like a super store. Yeah. I like how we think french fries Is what really sets his wife off. Like, oh my word, french fries. Rob, you didn't hear the super-sized part. That's true. Super-sized. It's too late. I read about this song that this was her biggest hit And then it actually got displaced on the charts By James Taylor who recorded on this album. So he's recording on this album with her. He's playing the guitar on a lot of these songs
[56:00]And this song got bumped from number one by James Taylor. I thought that was pretty crazy. And not only that, it's James Taylor singing You've Got a Friend, which is her song. So she got bumped by her own song. That's why that's how prolific she is. It's crazy. She's crazy talented. This album, the way it's arranged, is just a major snooze. Agree. That would be like if our podcast Got bumped off the top 100 charts with Aaron started a new podcast About different colored tacos and it just crushed us. It would be terrible. Okay. Well, we talked about brown tacos and all right, so that's it. That was the one episode. I've made a major mistake. Should not have made all these shirts And had Russ send them out Because they're not going to go out for another three weeks. They're all in Russell's basement Because they just want to send them out. Yeah. I'm not sending any more shirts. I don't care what the colored tacos are. All right. Hey, listen, guys. I mean, I've heard about Home Alone, but Home Again. There are no notes on this song anywhere. There's nothing on Wikipedia.
[57:00]The Genius Lyric. Be quiet, girl. The Genius Lyric for this is blank. There's nothing there. I've never seen that for a song. There's no notes. There's no nothing. She says, snow is cold and rain is wet. And I'm okay with simplicity, but I just, I mean, someone paid her to do this. I don't know. This one I struggle with. Wow. You guys are just droppin' bombs on her right now. I know. Yeah. She's one of the greatest singers of all time. I mean, when we get to things like Will You Love Me Tomorrow, I'm going to get effusive, but some of these, I don't know. So this is a song called Beautiful. Do parts of this song have the kernel Of the Christine Aguilera song, Beautiful? Does anyone feel like maybe that was inspired by this one? Jenny asked me the same thing to her. I definitely think so. Yeah. So that song was about how you, How she said when she was writing the subway one day In New York City. Rob, just skip the what's it about. We don't, who gives a shit?
[58:00]Who gives a shit? We don't need to say what it's about. If we're not into it, we don't need to say what it's about. Also, I was going to say that, She said that it's about the way you perceive others Is how you actually perceive yourself. And I was wondering if you guys think that's true, Because I do find a lot of people annoying, And now I'm thinking to myself, Do I think I'm annoying myself? And then I'm like, no, that can't be it. Hey, listen to this podcast once back, And you'll figure out the answer to that real quick. I don't have time for that. I'm very busy watching Jackie Chan. That's all, we all perceive the world Based on our own experiences. And so anytime you think something's going on With another person, it's probably, There's a lot of projection from within yourself, Unless you're really self-actualized And on the next level. But that's not really me. Yeah, it's not easy up here. Because I do have people who say, Like, well, you made a mistake. And I'm like, well, that can't be possible. You must have made a mistake. And then it's easy. Like, that solves a lot of my problems. All right, way over Yonder.
[59:00]So that voice we just heard. Did you change the songs? I do think that voice we just heard In the background vocals Is the best voice that we hear on this album. Turns out that is Mary Clayton of Gimme Shelter fame. She sang back up for the real songs. Yeah, so when she comes in and says, I think that's the best thing we hear on the album. And she was well-known as a studio session musician and singer. When we get to that, I'll do some great songs about that, About her coming in. They just needed to find somebody. And she just came in and basically nailed it in one take. Yes, right. You know, when we get to that, yeah. Did it on here too. You hear them in the background cheering for us. Yeah. It's just like my intro songs I write. You might surprise you guys, But I do most of those in one take. Aaron mentioned this song. He called out one of the session artists. But there's another session artist on this one That you guys might not be aware of. And his name is David Campbell. You guys ever heard of David Campbell before? No, definitely not. So David Campbell is a famous arranger, composer, conductor.
[1:00:00]And this was actually the first album he ever played anything on. He played the viola on that song. He is credited as being part of 1,300 plus albums. So 1,300 plus albums. And he's worked on more than 100 movie soundtracks. But I'm going to give you the top five songs That feature David Campbell in some sort of manner. You know, 1,300 albums seems like a lot. But then you realize that we're doing about half of that in this podcast. I'm going to have to sing 1,300 songs about a year. You know what? I can do it. I believe in myself. I'm pumped for this list. Let's learn about David Campbell. So David Campbell, the first album he ever played on Was this one track on this M.Tapestry. Another thing he's famous for is playing the viola On Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye.
[1:01:00]Oh, I didn't know it was viola on this track. Yeah, you heard it there in the background. Oh, of course. Yeah, there's strings right there. I want to remind you that I did sing this for a karaoke contest And I won a burger. A burger, right? Second greatest day of my life. Birth of one child, burger, birth of the second child. The next song on the list is, You guys will definitely remember this one. This is right in our youth. I bet Matt will definitely remember the video on this one. It's Crazy by Aerosmith. He did the orchestra arrangement on Crazy. Oh, I can't talk about this video in public. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This video was crazy. Yeah, it's like changing things. Literally, and figuratively. The song's good, too. This video was crazy. But this is like Alicia Silverstone Rises to Power When it comes to the music videos, right? Yeah, and his daughter. And what's her name? Liv Tyler. Liv Tyler, yeah. This video made me respect women so hard and so much. Oh, my gosh. Jumping into ponds in the middle.
[1:02:00]And he hit him on the little handle, didn't he? The song is like two minutes and 30 seconds long, So you'd have to respect women in a very short amount of time. Rob, Rob, you tell us the story of Crazy. She gets in a fight with her dad at the beginning, Walks out, gets onto a guy's motorcycle. They get into a fight. I remember her throwing a helmet or something. At some point, she gets a tattoo with another guy, And it's like they somehow put their finger on her pelvis. I remember that very clearly. And it's like a heart that makes a heart. So then she has trouble with that guy. And it is at the end, she... Isn't she in her underwear at some point in that video? I'm having a very strong recollection. That might be another Alicia Silverstone. I just thought it in. I thought she... They jump in the pond. They go... That's okay. So, yeah. So then, and then at the very end, she's on a bridge. And some, and I've always thought about this, Is that it's not a bungee cord. She's pretending she's doing that cool, very cool thing. And you might want to think about this rust on a date Because I know you're doing these outdoor dates. She's pretending to be mad at someone, jumps off a bridge. And instead of a bungee cord, it is a just guy wire. It is just like a wire that she catches her.
[1:03:00]Don't you think it would have snapped her in half? I thought about two things. Number one, that would hurt so bad. That would just kill. And number two, how do you get up from that? Like the guy just is like, okay, we'll see you. And then she's just dangling. And then she's like, oh. Maybe that's why she flicks off the camera at that. It's because she's got no way of getting up. Man. Rob, like you having daughters, Do you ever think like this could be a day in my daughter's life? Oh, I expect it to be. I'm not a very good parent. Obviously. So the next song on the list, Speaking of other women who've had kind of a crazy life, Is Miley Cyrus wrecking ball. He arranged the strings on this billboard number one hit. Oh, nice. It's another video. Oh, this is a fun song. I don't know this one. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't know this song? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Are you serious? Are you serious? Aaron came in like a wrecking ball on this list. Did you have a stroke? What is your deal? You don't know this song? This was like one of the biggest songs of the year it came out.
[1:04:00]It's really good. Of the decade. I mean, this was a huge song. Can you tell me what the video is, Aaron? Actually, this video on YouTube has more than a billion downloads. It's one of the few that has a billion downloads. And Aaron's not one of the billion. Man, that's crazy. I don't know that song. And I'm not even trying to like I listen to pop music. I'm not trying to like be like caveman guy who's like, Oh, I'm only in here listening to my records or whatever. I mean, I honestly think we need to pause this song. Miss me. I honestly are you guys blown away by this that he does not? He knows he's talking about Django Reinhardt to start the podcast And then he doesn't know wrecking ball. Aaron is like an enigma wrapped in a Rubik's Cube wrapped in a double knit sweatshirt. Like I don't understand. It's a mystery to me, Aaron, what you know in music and what you don't. It's so wild. Aaron, what year was your kid born? 2017. Oh, this is four years before that. This is the prime of your life. Backfired on you didn't it, Rob. I have no excuse for missing this one. He's so slick. He's going to show me. Yeah, the wrecking ball came out in 2013.
[1:05:00]I am lost, Aaron. I just don't get it anymore. I'm fascinated. I want to tear apart your brain and look at it. The next song on the list, I guarantee Aaron said to have heard of these guys. This is more in our age range. How about the Goo Dolls? This is Iris. David Campbell does the string orchestra near the end of the song, Which is mimicking the guitar. Check out the strings here. Yeah, I mean this song. The first concert ever. Goo Dolls opened up for Bush at the Roy Wilkins in Minneapolis. That's awesome. They're the same following me. It was great. And don't make a call back to any earlier jokes, okay? Because I see where you guys are going with this. I'm not going to accept it. Do not do it. Does the family have food? Did they have food service there or anything, man? Did they do the same attack? Was that the Bush concert or not? What did you eat at the Bush concert? Do not engage. That song reminds me so much. Was Bush from Ireland? Did they have Shepherd's Pie there? This? No, I was in there, I think. I'm trying to remember where they were from. Rob, do I hate you guys so much.
[1:06:00]I'm going to make you sit with me When I have to edit this sometime. That song reminds me of so many middle school dances. At the end of the night, they would play that song. And I would be against the wall of the gym. I would be against the wall of the gym Waiting for my dad to come pick me up Because I knew his ending. There I was. And then you would ask him to show them real fast. With my hair down flat on top and curly on the sides. I was talking to a friend today Who grew up in New York City, And I used the term butt cut. And she had never heard that phrase before. I've also never heard that phrase. Are you serious? You guys don't know when you have a part down the middle? And it looks like a butt? Is this a word I made up? Why would you wear your hair that way If it looks like a butt? Like there are many other things you can do. Well, I'm not going to lie. Did we just talk about this last? Did we just talk about this last? Matt, you're right. We did talk about it last week. And the thing is, is when Russ is done editing, Neither of these talks about Bob's haircuts Are going to make no one will ever hear it. If Rob talks about his haircut in a forest And the trees falls, does anyone know about it?
[1:07:00]I just can't believe nobody else has heard the phrase butt cut. Hey, if you know the phrase butt cut, Please call into the back line and leave a voicemail. The voicemail is full all the times. Please leave a voicemail and say, I have heard of a butt cut. Okay. And don't get through Rob's long message. And then finally, you have to be able to leave him here. All right. The last song on the list, This is by far the number one song on the list. And it's Beck. This is from Morning Phase, Which won the Grammy for Best Album, I think, in 2015. This is the very beginning of Beck's album. Check out this song. And I'm going to give you a little bit of info On why it's so cool. I hear the strings. So he's essentially conducting the strings here. But the reason this is so cool Is that David Campbell, You guys may not know, Is Beck's dad. Whoa. Beck's dad is the guy who was on 1,300 albums And has been a part of all of these amazing songs And played the viola on Tapestry.
[1:08:00]Oh my God. Russell, wow. To take that a step further, Do you know who Beck's mom is? Is it? Is her name Debra? Her name is Bebe Hansen, And she was an Andy Warhol model. So she was a model for Andy Warhol. Who was the manager for Velvet Underground, Who we covered last week. The offspring of Bebe Hansen And David Campbell is Beck, The namesake of our podcast. So when it comes to kick and ass, Who does it better than Beck's dad? Wait, I tell you what, If you look at his Wikipedia page, The number of movies that he's done, Either the arranging or the orchestra, The conductor, And then just the, I mean, the albums from like 1990 on, He's worked with everybody. Yeah. Yeah. He deserves his own podcast. Beck's dad did it better. Oh, yeah. Russell, this is. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine though, That is probably why, And I'm going to say something That's pretty smart here. That's probably why he got into music. Right? I thought there was going to be A Brian Wilson comment there.
[1:09:00]Who says he's pretty smart here? That's kind of like Brian Wilson. Yeah, but that would be pretty crazy. Like if your dad did all this stuff And you're like, Actually that's probably what I've been. I hate music, dad. I don't ever want to do music. All right. And that was a good joke to kill that great list That Russ made. And then I hit the break. That list was in all the time. That is so good. Oh my God. Thank you. That's awesome. I thought that was pretty good. Nice job. You dropped in science. And I liked the part of the end Where I hit the break. The podcast almost wasn't about me For about two seconds. So I had to switch it And snap that away from you guys. Bring it right. Yeah. Hey, you just snatched it away. Like he snatched away those colored back. Joked that thing and just bring it back in. He snatched it back, Rob. Snatched those pies. Snatched it back. Snatched back that pie. So now, Aaron, we're going to listen to You've Got a Friend. I think this song sucks. Oh, Aaron, why would you say that? I don't get that. That's terrible.
[1:10:00]I think this is one of the greatest songs I've ever written. I just prefer other red dishes. So what is the best version, Rosie? My favorite is Donny Hathaway's Version on his live album. But I do love that Aretha interpolates This one in her Amazing Grace album. Doesn't James Taylor do this? Yeah, he does agree to. The crazy thing is, so she records this in 69 And then Tapestry doesn't come out for a few years And James Taylor releases it in 71. So she records it. It doesn't come out. James Taylor makes it a huge hit Before she ever releases the song She recorded before him. And Donny Hathaway and Roberta Flack Have it on their album Even before James Taylor puts it out. Do you know who sings background On the James Taylor version? We're incepting ourselves here. This is great. Matt's favorite, Joni Mitchell, Is sings background on the James Taylor version. Wow. We're dating back then, yeah. Yeah, right, yeah.
[1:11:00]The best part of this song Is that the Wikipedia entry for the song Has a quote by James Taylor That I'm convinced that he 100% made up. According to James Taylor, So this is according to James Taylor, Carol King says that the song Was a response to a James Taylor song Fire in Rain, Where he said, I've seen the only time Where I could not find a friend. And then that inspired Carol King to write You've Got a Friend, Which James Taylor also covered. So James Taylor's like, Yeah, it's a good song. Yeah, I didn't write it. But the song I wrote inspired it. Like it's just classic like bullshit stuff of like, Well, I think I did kind of do that song Mostly myself. All right. Next up, where you led? Where were you lead? It's the science teacher in me. We got our tenses mixed up. This, of course, is the song to what hit show, Rosie. Golden Girls. Gilmore Girls. Just kidding. How do you not know the Golden Girls theme song? The girls part, right? You don't know the Golden Girls theme song?
[1:12:00]What is it? No, I know the Golden Girls theme song Because camera sampled it. So is it Dossus Creek? No, it's Gilmore Girls. Yeah, we're gonna be in it. Punch lines are even. Okay. So we're all going to sit down and watch The Gilmore Girls after this. Next up, okay, will you love me tomorrow? This song is actually the beginning of side two On the album, if you guys weren't aware of that. And for side two, I went back to Booze and Vinyl, My favorite book. And tonight, here's what they say about the record. This is an ideal rainy day record. Take a cue from the album and cover and curl up with a cat On your windowsill or host a cozy gathering. And they recommend that you have a hot toddy for this album. So I'm drinking a hot toddy tonight. Are you serious? But I've been waiting. I've been waiting for the last hour and 27 minutes And right now it is a cold as shit. I wonder he's trying to move us along. You've been telling us. He's been setting up his hot toddy joke.
[1:13:00]Cold honey bourbon and lemon is just not As good as if it were hot. I've been not very kind about parts of this album And I don't like her recording of this. I don't know why the tempo is so slow. And the Charelle's version, I think, Is one of the greatest pop songs ever. But I do want to say, so this album came out in 1971. She was what, 20? She was 30 maybe when the album dropped. And the Charelle's version came out in 1960. So she might have been 18 when she wrote this. She's 17. She wrote it when she was 17. I mean, holy shit. Like, that deserves some kudos. Kudos aren't even the right word. I mean, it's so heartbreaking that someone that age Could write something like this. It's incredible. You were talking about how old she is. Do you guys know the day we released this pod? She will be turning 79 years old on the day We released this podcast. Wow. Happy birthday, Charelle King. The day after we released the pod, This album will be turning 50. How crazy is that both of those things
[1:14:00]Are falling right around the release stage? It's weird that the album is as old As people I think who would enjoy this album. Like, in my mind, those numbers line up. All right. So now apparently this is Aaron's favorite song. So let's just keep that in mind. And Aaron, this is the first... I think it's fun. This is the first dance of your wedding, right? Is that true? This is it, yeah. I didn't say it's the best song. I think other songs in the album are far better, But this one's fun. I like it's like kind of little boogie stomp kind of a thing. So this is another crazy one, Russell, With what you were talking about. This song was covered by Quincy Jones On his number 1971 album. So the same year that this album came out And his album was called Smack Water Jack. So this album and Quincy Jones's album That had the same name came out in the same year. Can you imagine that happening now of like two bands Where they're just like, Wow, we're going to all release the same song At the same time. Who cares? She was just dominating at the time, right? Just like anything she wrote was on the pop charts. It's so crazy to me. All right. So now let's say,
[1:15:00]Hey, you got some Christmas presents. What are you going to use to put them together? Let's, some tapestry. Tapestry. Tapestry. Listen. What do we call this? What do we call this track, right? Tapestry. No, no, this is. A few years ago, I put on a bunch of weight And it turned us out it was a tapestry worm. I went to a Spanish place And I had a bunch of tapestries once. They're like little dishes On Potata's Bravas. They were really good. What do we call them? That's driving it. That this is the album's name. That's the song, correct? Did you guys know when I went to Walgreens To try to find stuff to, When I tried to ship my stuff, I picked up a thing of package, Packaging tapestry And now it just sits there Because I never used it. Now Rob, don't laugh. That was the titular track of the album. Ah, beat you to it. Damn it. Rob was picked on in junior high And they, instead of beating them up, They just would tape, tapestry. Oh, I actually. Well, let's all laugh at that now. Some of these lyrics, The lyrics and some of these songs
[1:16:00]Are like kind of juvenile poems. I think I would enjoy it more Than I think you guys do, But one of the ones, One of the lyrics that I really liked And thought applied to me directly in the song, I feel like this could go to A future lady who meets me on a date. Listen to this one. As I watched in sorrow, There suddenly appeared a figure gray And ghostly beneath his flowing beard. In times of deepest darkness, I've seen him dressed in black. Now my tapestries unraveling, He's come to take me back. Like, couldn't I be the guy With the gray and flowing beard? Yeah, get your COVID beard back. Yeah, yeah. I like that part. I'm going to tell you, Russell, If you're on a date with somebody And they get in your car And you start playing this, They're going to have some questions, Unless it is some mom that you have picked up. Okay. There's going to be some questions to ask about this. That mom will have some bags from Marshalls In the bathroom. She just went to Woolworth. She brought, for some reason, The only color jacket they had in the 80s, Which was brown on brown for a jacket.
[1:17:00]Everybody's wearing brown jackets In the 80s from Woolworth. This is everybody's favorite gag. Okay. So that's just apparently a memory I have. I don't know. Don't ask me. Okay. I'm going to be positive. Hey, whatever your kink is, Rob, Whatever your kink is, we're fine with that. That's what I keep telling the police. All right. It depends on what kink it is. The last three times he's brought up kinks On this podcast, we weren't fine with this. Things didn't go well. Okay. Cake farting. So I'm going to brown on brown jackets. I'm going to skillfully transition From this conversation to this next song. You make me feel like a natural woman. All right. Here we go. There's the third kink. This song is so slow again. Yes. Great song though. Yep. And I like, I love her singing this actually. You know, Aretha's version of this only reached Eight on the charts. Doesn't that seem like a travesty? Yeah. That's, that's an outrage that like, At that point, they should just get rid of the charts, Right? Yeah. Why do you guys not like this version? I think this is awesome. Slow. Just because it's compared to Aretha and that's what You'd rather have.
[1:18:00]It's unfortunate, but it's true. Yeah. This is so much slower. I mean, the Aretha version is so good, Russell. I mean, we'll listen to it after this podcast, But it's so good. You know what? Okay. Fine. I'm what? I'm going to play the Aretha version right now. Do you guys hear in the background? God dang it. I'm so lazy. Yeah. This is pretty awesome. The thing is, we've talked about this before When Aretha sings this song. Remember, if people need to go check out Carole King, they do the Kennedy Center Honors. Go check that out on YouTube. And the end of it is Aretha singing this song, Which is badass, but there are a few other ones. James Taylor sings one of her songs. There are a few other people that sing her songs. Well, she's up there watching with other celebrities. She's actually sitting right next to George Lucas, The Star Wars guy. So Aaron, your son would probably appreciate That part of the video. He's done that for sure. People need to definitely go check out The Kennedy Center Honors with Carole King. It's really cool. Way in the back is Jar Binks. He's like, oh, Jar Binks comes out And sings a Carole King. Okay. There's something there.
[1:19:00]Jar Binks, Carole King. Me make you feel. God dang, Matt should be doing the intro songs. It's just like a 10 minute bit about, okay, If Jar Binks and Carole King, I think it would go a little something like this. He's going to sing. All right. He's going to make you feel. So Russell's Dream has come true, And we are at the end of the album. Let's talk about our favorite, everybody. Now listen. Okay. I've decided I did patent this. Okay. I did copyright it. I also made this into an LLC. So now this is officially an LLC as well. This is everybody's favorite part Where we rate the album. Again, this needs to be longer. I do appreciate you having those two, You know, the quotes with the two things, The rabbit ears when you say everybody's And you put that around it. Well, yeah, I'm not crazy. I mean, I got to be legit to myself.
[1:20:00]All right. So once again, I have not thought of something That rhymes with stone for this. So why don't you guys go first? Russell, what do you think you, What do you think of this album? Is it rolling well toned? And that means this album is perfect at 25. It's right where it should be. No higher, no lower. Did this album get rolling boned? That means it's too low on the list. Now in this case, we are going down the list. So it is too low to be higher. It would be a lower number. So you have to think of somebody climbing, Not climbing up a mountain, But somehow climbing down a mountain. And their goal is to get to the bottom of a valley. Okay. Would they find this song there? Or would it be something else? No, listen back. It actually makes perfect sense. It's a person, it's a mountain climber, But they're going down a mountain descender. That's what it makes sense to me. So did the song get rolling bone? Should it be higher on the list? Or did this album, And I keep saying song like an idiot, Is it a rolling groan? It should be lower than 25, Which in this case is a higher number. So in this case, The mountain climber is climbing the mountain, But he does not want to get to the top, Because the top is where the bad albums are, The good albums are at the bottom, Kind of like this podcast.
[1:21:00]And kind of like this episode, Where we started and we had so much hope for it, Just didn't pan out. We are definitely climbing down a mountain right now. And let's get to the anti-peak. Russell, what do you think? Do you take a breath in there at all or not, Rob? Some people would say peanuts. What's an anti-peak? I legit thought I had my rating ready to go, And then you just beat this shit out of me there With confusion. I'd rather go mail a package And listen to that again, Rob. My hot toddy is now a freezing ass cold, Colder than a witch's titty hotty over here. Oh, no. That, well, I guess we can say that, right? The witches won't care. No, not at all. You know what? They're proud of their cold titties. We play well with the witches. They'll get burned at the stake at Salem If they're not happy about it. Oh, I like this fire warms up These cold titties I have. Oh, no, this is way too hot. Way too hot. I'm never moving to Salem again. All right, Russell. So what do you think of Carol King's tapestry? I think you guys I'm going to go against the grain.
[1:22:00]While people like Aaron may only like one color of tacos, I like different colors of tacos. And I think I'm going to go against the grain with you guys. I really like this album. I thought almost every song was a hit song. It might not have been the best version of every song. We've heard better versions of a lot of them, Whether it's James Taylor or Rita Franklin. But these are her songs, right? She's the one who wrote the songs. Why does she not get the credit for them? So I think there's hit songs all over this album. I'm going to say it's Rolling Well Tone. Rosie. And so if it's Rolling Well Tone, That's right where it should be. Rolling Boned. That means that you didn't, You liked it more than where it should be. Or Rolling Grown. It should be a higher number. In this case, Laura on the list. I don't, this is where the ranking things Makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't like Disagreeing with Russell or any of you all. I don't like Dissing someone who I think is one of, I mean, I think we all know she's One of the greatest songwriters of all time.
[1:23:00]But as an album, I can't listen to the whole thing. It drags too much for me. Most of it, I think it's just that the tempos are too slow. I don't like the production on the album. So while I wish I could say more about an album That has so many great songs, I have to call it a Rolling Grown. All right, Matt, what do you think? How do you rate this album? Definitely Rolling Grown. I think the album is this high on the list Because it was the number one album For 38,000 weeks or whatever it was. So if this was the most popular albums of all time, Like, yeah, this is one of the most popular albums Of all time. But as we've discussed a number of times, That doesn't make it a great album. Yeah, she wrote the song. A lot of people, there's a lot of great writers out there That have hundreds and hundreds of top hits And things like that. So it's, look, she's talented. She's a great writer. These songs are great. But this album, once we get to Beyonce,
[1:24:00]Once we get to even Adele, Once we get to some more of these female artists That are just phenomenal at what they do, I think we're gonna absolutely want to put them Above this album. And so for those reasons, I'm gonna say it's Rolling Grown, Which means that it's too high on the list. It should be lower. It sounds like Matt, You would say something like, It's probably Rolling Mom at Home, right? God damn it, you can, I'm sharing my screen. I'm editing that out. All right, so I am going to give this, I wasn't gonna give this a Rolling, Make me feel like a natural Ramon, But I am gonna give this a Rolling Mom at Home. Mom's jammed to this album. They love it, okay? They're walking around doing mom stuff, Which in my mind, again, is cleaning, Which I don't get, that's very bad, It's very sexist, but it's, The way it is they're having a nice relaxing day Without the kids at home. Okay, dad is doing the tough thing. He's taking the kids to Home Depot. He's buying all the inflatables he can. He's babysitting his kids. Yeah, he's, he has to He works all week and then he's gotta come home And take care of the kids of you.
[1:25:00]Come on, give me a break every once in a while. So this gets a Rolling Mom at Home. This album is just for them, But I will say this album is a great, I have to say the beginning and end, It's, the bookends are fantastic. To go from the first song and the last song, Just two of the greatest songs that I think, Don't know where I'm going. I forgot the names of the songs, Which makes this very difficult to talk about. All right, this is so great. Next up, album 26. We've got Patty Smith, Horses, and that's, We never even said, did we have to skip a Beatles album? Did we skip, what did we skip on this one? Was that Sergeant Pepper? Sergeant Pepper, we skipped before this, yeah. So we've got Horses, we've got Horses coming up next. Thank you for listening too. And then the Wu Tang. Beck did it better. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time, But you're just too lazy to look it up online. If you want to hear for guys who chat and then they get off track,
[1:26:00]I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Beck did it better. After all those inappropriate jokes, I think it's way out of bounds that Eric keeps holding up this album cover With this pussycat right up against the screen right now. It's way inappropriate. Guess what? That was so good. We're starting the podcast again. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time, But you're just too lazy to look it up online. Every time. Is it every time? If you want to hear for guys who chat and then they get off track, I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Beck did it better. So when you're eating Jenny's pie, Are you supposed to be recording it, Rob? I mean, are you supposed to be recording that every time? Or is that like going above and beyond? You kept talking about a salty crust. Oh, wow. Here we go. When you want to hear for guys who chat and then they get off.
[1:27:00]13, 12, 11. I feel like I've dragged you down from the deep end of the pool with you guys. You don't want to be over here. All right, here we go. Here we go, Aaron. Beck did it better. Do you have any, like, taco flavored pasts? When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time, But you're just too lazy to look it up online. We know. If you want to hear for guys who chat and then they get off track, Is this what you guys want? You guys, I've got the perfect podcast for you. All right, here we go. Beck did it better. I really feel like that dad in that commercial where he finds the kids drugs And he turns to the kids and he goes, is this what you want? Is this who taught you how to do this?
[1:28:00]And then you guys look at me and you go. I learned it from you, dad. Yeah, I learned it from you, Rob. I learned it from you. All right, plus whatever I don't want. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time, But you're just too lazy to look it up online. We definitely need a sting that says what the f*** you want to hear for guys who chat and then they get off track. We could easily cut out the whole album here and have it written. So if we just do the intro and the close, we're going to do better.
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