Herbie Hancock: Head Hunters (1973)

[00:00]all right in 2024 what if we all played a different role tonight and see how long it takes aaron to recognize like if matt is the role of rob i am the role of matt and rob is the role of me will aaron recognize it you guys i'm so stoked yeah such a fucking impression to me that's such a fucking impression to me although that last episode didn't go well i was tempted to be like okay guys i gotta do mushrooms this time you know what i mean like we're just gonna by episode 300 i'm just gonna die i got so many things i could say but i'm out of respect for you

[00:34]rob thank you finally i'll keep them to myself fuck 100 milligrams of thc give me 100 milligrams of that salt yeah yeah russell if you look up that salt and i was poisoned.com now russell what do you see your role as i guess if i'm going to do an impression of you for aaron what would you see your role as on the show like how would you describe your role i would describe you as the captain of the show so you're keeping us on the show you're keeping us on the show you're the funny guy but you you are the leader of the show so if i were to switch roles with

[01:03]everyone to me even if matt didn't replace your comedic timing his role would be to organize the show call the plays set people up ask people questions and then respond in kind and see when there's opportunities to jump in that meet his comedic repertoire that's when he jumps in that's what i think your role is rob that uh that uh i would not want that role i like to be the captain okay i like to be russell look at me right now look at me i'm doing the two

[01:32]finger thing yes i'm the captain now and don't remember i once blocked captain phillips i did that to him and sent him into a matt's role i would say is to at times wait his turn but to jump in with thoughtful interesting things that make people want to keep listening because wow matt's the only one who's not kind of a dumbass at times the other three of us can kind of be idiots for most of the time aaron's a wild card you just don't know what's i would say my my role is to feed into rob's comedic strengths so feed into where i see opportunities to help

[02:05]tee you up and then i probably interrupt a little too often with stupid shit russell listen anytime you see a great joke just tee me up okay today hey russell today if you want do you want what's your verbal cue for when you tee me up you want to be like hey rob i'm it'll be i'm gonna make like an armpit fart noise like remember those things rob that's you see what i'm doing here do i remember oh yeah i can't do it anymore i just got a cramp oh i can't do it anymore i gotta go god damn i can't do that at the armpit oh yeah eddie does eddie does it all the time oh

[02:34]you have to can you imagine if you're i bet my kids can't do armpit fart noises i'm a terrible dad in 2024 friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine i'm worried about aaron i really am uh and led us to making this pot a text chain this is so i'm so nervous about aaron this results in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to making the podcast we are far from experts we promise all the pains are unless you disagree i know but he logged in and then it blipped up and then he

[03:02]went away so i'm worried you can't use him as that was an on purpose thing my guess he wants to make it look like he's trying but he's probably like reading a book it's like a tease it's like sending your wife a dick pic at like 9 30 a.m like guess what's coming later today yeah early in the morning you know what i mean get in the shower get it nice and warm i hear balls so long and i know what russell's thinking you don't put balls on dick pic russell i know you've already

[03:31]talked about that so many times i was actually i was actually thinking if we definitely know your thoughts about balls and that's what russell for some dick pics the balls are always in there you can't help it really i was just wondering if that was to play your role tonight how this conversation would be going differently about your thoughts you would probably say something like well it's mostly balls sometimes the dick but what uh all opinions are owned unless you disagree somebody who loves jazz in brazil is downloading this episode like oh i can't wait to listen to herbie hancock i wonder what they're going to talk about please sit back and

[04:02]enjoy it's john hancock rob it's john better that's why his synthesizer was so big on the constitution i don't know what i'm saying uh we are all the way up to album 254 and from 1973 boy 1973 and i'm gonna have to repeat this darren but 1973 russell that reminds me of my marriage what's that oh you're married 1970 russell there's only three of us i need you not to look left i gotta have you dialed in right

[04:33]now it's 1973 russell and that reminds me this album came out in 1973 that reminds me of my marriage yeah also it's been four years since 69 oh god we're here it's coming in right now we gotta see how that joke hits with aaron all right matt you tell that joke and see what response is just let him do it okay let's see because from you guys a plus a lot of laughter i'm assuming did not get picked up right well matt what was that joke again uh this this uh this episode came out in 1973 album aaron this album

[05:05]came out 1973 and it's like my marriage how's that four years from 69 oh oh oh oh no hold on hold on hold on okay now rob say it and we'll see because that was kind of a fake laugh that was not a very good oh you're not recording that wasn't recording now i'm recording okay okay now rob now you now you try it rob we are up to album 254 and from 1973 oh my god 1973 aaron that reminds me of

[05:33]my marriage it's been four years since 69 that's pretty good actually i mean kudos to you the last time we 69 was four years ago okay so i wrote that down as the punch line it feels like you're sharing a lot that you don't have to nobody's pressuring you to share these things i know he's already nervous he was very nervous about you not joining i was worried as you know the more nervous rob gets the more sexual the jokes get you guys my my you guys my kid works

[06:02]against me if i say i'm doing my podcast and he starts into all sorts of emotional stuff about like yeah i don't like to go to bed when mom's on home he's still not sleeping like he just won't go to sleep if i tell him like you gotta do the app have you tried the opposite have you done the opposite i usually do tonight i was like i'm gonna try honesty no hey oh he would he would be up to one no question yeah stay up all night and hey guess what i'll also smoke this whole pack of cigarettes yeah okay we're doing all of it i've got a hundred and go to the disco i've got a secret disco to the left of the casino that's a that's a cool disco you guys know hey only put

[06:35]together huge parlays okay don't don't try with those little parlays now make a double uh two day two day long bets some on tuesday some on wednesday somebody started on that so listen aaron we already did the 73 bit it killed we killed multiple times i believe that we haven't announced the name of the podcast we haven't announced the name of the podcast we haven't the album yet if you've noticed so i have another bit for this we have the only album russell you're gonna love this one i need you to dial in here he's looking left

[07:02]we have the only album that's named after a house hunters porn parody cindy is a milf who's looking for a three-bedroom ranch where her two dogs can play in the yard and sergio is an international exchange student who wants to learn more in the ways of love but he also wants a man cave their budget is 2.5 million dollars it's headhunters by herbie hancock there's some head all right rob's eyes were like really serious and then with the mustache

[07:30]going everything he really looked got it he looked the part he looked the part do you notice my kid to bed be right back again we do gotta talk i'll rob i know you want someone else to bring it up so i'll do it it doesn't matter i i noticed you did you did tonight send a picture and it looked like you had some sort of boil growing under your eyes some sort of like i don't know if it's a boil or a wart or something's growing under your eyes i don't know if it's a boil or a wart or something's growing under your eyes i don't know if it's a boil or a wart or something's growing under your eyes what happened to your eye tonight i got elbowed in the face during jujitsu it is an absolute dream

[08:01]come true you got a black eye i got a black eye from jujitsu i'm praying it holds on till monday when i can go to school and show my kids my black eye from jujitsu i'm gonna tell them i got it with a flying arm bar oh you gotta say spinning back elbow i was lying on my back and the guy was elbow so it was more grounded pound than spinning back elbow it was ground for sure russell if it was

[08:30]listen if it was beef and i was buying in england ground by the pound so rob you you send your picture to us of your post jujitsu i'd say once a month we probably get a picture of you yeah and and the picture is always you and it's either you've gotten out of the shower refuse to dry anything off or you're just super sweaty and i'm leaving that's me in the hallway you're putting you put your regular clothes back on extremely sweaty yes what's your what's going on yeah yeah they have two showers

[09:00]there i'm not showering you're changing back into your normal clothes that's gotta be the dirtiest floor that's kind of pretty you haven't gotten ringworm yet i no not yet but i will say like i do walk out of there and i walk right through like uh times square kind of to get to my subway nobody talks to me nobody offers me anything people steer clear and especially today when i was on the train holding a glass root beer bottle against my black eye oh my god i was like this is new york

[09:35]how many people in the country do you think have drank a root beer within 30 minutes of doing jujitsu class i think you're the only one i think you are the only one that yeah gotta be one more right there's gotta be one more person in the in the country i don't know i think i saw hoist gracie doing it after ufc one he was like i got the way for delicious root beer

[10:00]all right he was like i just twisted that guy's arm off he was wearing a boxing glove the guy was wearing a boxing glove my back is freaking out my life's complete disaster the back door is open yeah i didn't realize that my son had come in from there and then the cat just came in and the dog's sleeping in the other room the cat and the dog have never actually met in the house it would have been an absolute hey i don't know how cats and dogs classically get along i'm not gonna look it up but i'm sure it's gonna be fine guys it's been a long afternoon just letting you know and guess what aaron i got

[10:35]about to get longer fucked up list that i made when i was high so guess what it's gonna be a long night too did you uh call back control on that cat oh not no not yet okay not yet but you got it out of the you got it out of the house she just came like sauntering in here and like peeked around the corner yeah and then like i'm here and she's like i'm here and she's like i'm there and the dog's over there it would have been a complete disaster hey you need me to resend you the number i'll send it again listen hey the cat fell in a bag and fell in a river i don't know

[11:02]what to tell you uh listen let's get right into you know what i usually hold it together when anna's out for the night but tonight it's not it's not working out you guys ever like start the zoom and then look at yourself and realize like i'm a lot older than i thought i was does that ever happen or is it oh my god aaron's going through it tonight boys aaron needs help like how is this this camera seems kind of hd i'm not really not really i've been waiting to do this but i'm going to show you my penis so you feel better oh my god when you see the size of my

[11:34]penis you will be like whoa i'm it's really kind of you listen i'm not going to mess around k rob didn't make a didn't make a new parody song but you know what hey today aaron it's not k rob guess what we're doing k fan k what why would we do k k jazz this is totally k fan music i'm gonna be giving away my tape there's no guitar this is when the theme song sounded good this is this theme song sound

[12:07]the guitar is so much better if you wanna do some jazz oh aaron always laughs at the same time somebody in brazil is listening to this for the first time like what the fuck

[12:30]did it better jazz style oh yeah that sounds like lisa simpson for sure we've got in the long intro i liked it when they played the long intro aaron played more of lisa simpson that was my favorite listen more lisa we're talking about more lisa simpson i've always wanted from the simpsons we're talking to herbie hancock hey what i wanted to see was marjorie the vacuum why does she have a vacuum in the video game john hancock it's john that's why

[13:03]his synthesizer was so big on the constitution now i'm gonna lock that joke in man i'm gonna rewrite that a little bit it's gonna be it's gonna be a big hit listen i've got three guys here who haven't been exposed to this much funky jazz since they sniffed jeff hornacek's jock strap oh i mean that was more of a blue edwards guy can you imagine i'm just gonna say this jeff hornacek naked sorry now you're picturing it top is he a top he's probably i mean he played a good nba career he's probably a top five

[13:33]cyclone of all time wow the mayor they called him aaron they had a horn come on that's fred hoyer he was so popular he could be the mayor rob that's russell's doing a bit he's doing a bit what's what's russell's bit i was confusing iowa state players to annoy aaron jeff hornacek might be a top five player who was actually good that doesn't look like he could actually be a professional athlete right no easy easy he might be he might be top one who's another

[14:03]who's another one do you think who's another like jeff george i remember every time i saw jeff george i was like what the fuck this guy's a quarterback jock peterson in his later years we're not talking baseball players are we i guess yeah baseball's different yeah that's true don crock i mean classic now by the way jeff hornacek joke russell once again kind of dialing in when i watch the nba you can kind of get an idea just from some of my references hey i listen back your hakeem versus hakeem joke was thank you

[14:31]six out of ten pretty good i like you like that i've got matt minneapolis my favorite was when elijah teamed up with the big boss man for those years as the twin towers glad to be here can you imagine one time we were cheering for a guy who was like a prison guard the we're just like yeah i hope that prison guard whips some ass in there hope he takes out that stick and just beats people with it turns out that's where we are again now everybody loves cops yeah finally we're prison guard versus rich guy kind of the opposite of what's happening no

[15:02]i got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing come on come on come on come on come on come on russell this is the wrong album uh and i've got aaron in california now aaron was telling me earlier he goes i've been seeing ads online for hot singles in your area and he goes damn i wish it was 3800 bc and i was in the sumerian state of er what i mean if there's hot signals in er area russell that joke revolves around the idea do

[15:32]you know of the sumerian city state named er i'm not asking a lot about oh yikes i suppose you've never heard of the code of hamurabi either okay aaron how are you doing aaron's blowing on a beer bottle right now he's doing he's doing the beer bottle song i unplugged my fucking microphone again rob what are you doing this is amateur honestly there i got it i got it called production aaron i heard it the first time i heard it he's blowing on the beer

[16:02]bottle like which is part of the song i bought a bottle of beer tonight just for the express purpose of playing along with herbie hencock blowing it actually aaron blowing it actually aaron that's from the song watermelon man i believe where they're playing they're blowing into the beer bottles right that's right and there's another artist that's playing the beer bottle song and it's back rob pull up the song hot wax pull up the song hot wax right now we can't wait rob isn't it like a flow rider song about blowing blow the whistle or something the too short is blow the

[16:33]whistle too short oh yeah i was unplugged as well so i can hear you just fine bought this nice it's a zinna beer it's one of my favorites it's from brussels it's a really nice beer and i bought this bottle just so that i could i can hear it just so you could blow it and then you hear like it's going to get more empty and then it's going to be a different sound science can i tell you guys a story while rob's figuring this out yeah so the other day i was in

[17:06]vegas for work for a few days i came home the upstairs room actually the upstairs are going to talk to the ups you guys know i typically don't call the upstairs roommate while i travel i just i tune out for like three four days right we've talked about this and we've had the answer you need you need a little break so i did i talked to the upstairs roommate the one day and she goes so i saw you had some edibles and thc drinks in your dresser in your desk downstairs turns out

[17:33]the upstairs roommate was snooping through my desk in the basement while i was gone oh boy okay and admitted to it and i had to admit yes we had an episode a while back where we all decided we were going to participate in some of those types of activities because i don't do that you rob as a 100 milligram guy a day guy now so like i'm not at that level you're like 100 milligrams lifetime at this point yeah 100 like yeah i'm probably on like the 100 milligram club half of them rob's pocket yeah yes and so so she started wondering am i like a closet thc user that's

[18:07]using edibles all the time and i had to explain no i've acquired them once legally in the state of minnesota and now they just sit in the desk downstairs because i don't think i don't like them it's not my deal wow i you know what i fixed my microphone i'm back okay so i was not listening to very much that russell did you tell her like did you go like that i would have said like hey did you open that folder on my computer that says nothing don't open yeah old files nothing i mean

[18:33]i'm just kidding it doesn't say old files don't look at that folder so here's what the interesting thing is the upstairs roommate claims she thought i maybe had snacks hidden in in my my desk downstairs because occasionally i have hidden like a snack in the desk downstairs no it's not knowing if i put it upstairs then i'm gonna someone's gonna eat it then someone she's gonna be mad that i had it now we talked about this with the cheesecake and stuff wow yeah so so occasionally you're the one who russell has a cheesecake in his desk downstairs good god that

[19:04]would be fucked up but but so i she claims she was looking through there to see if i had any snacks hidden in in my desk i didn't but she did find my edibles and my thc drinks that i purchased one day for the episode where we all claimed we were going to participate in those activities and she found them yeah yeah and then thought i had i had like a problem and was using them all the time would it be better to not disclose that she was looking through your stuff if i were me i would i would

[19:34]keep peeking through stuff and never like i would have saved rob when you're looking through jenny's stuff do you ever tell her that you're looking through it listen my kid went into the my kid i need some starburst it just goes into jenny's closet and grabs a huge bag of mini starbursts so they're not wrapped by the way mini starbursts by the way i'm just gonna say the fat person's way to eat starbursts because the starbursts are not wrapped so you could have like a hundred at a time and she just starts eating it and i was like how the fuck did you know there's starbursts in mom's closet i don't even know when i am in this

[20:03]room i sleep in this room she's like oh yeah everybody knows we've been eating this all the time i'm like what the fuck yes russell i i do i dig through my wife's stuff no not anymore okay i'm just my wife's stuff is pretty boring i'm not so russell did you did you give her a hard time for for checking out your draws or did you say like yeah i expect that that's what's going on when i'm not here because you want to like listen underwear or whatever the first two penis pumps broke that's why there's a third one i haven't thrown them away and no they're not xs i don't even know what

[20:38]xs means on a penis pump extra small what okay i have to spell out the joke for these guys oh we got it oh yeah yeah okay i'm gonna knock out this core to get here but no i i was just more impressed like i was kind of proud of myself that i didn't have a bunch of snacks in the in the russell work good work nice

[21:00]work russell that's that's that's amazing that you're getting spied on aaron listen we don't have time for this anymore we have to get to the voicemail the freaks let's see yeah now this time i'm really serious this is the absolute and i don't want to insult this voicemail but and this is the earth this is the not the bottom of the barrel but it is we're done with voicemails after this we are at a critical voicemail point where the voicemail segment might be coming to an end 254 and we're coming to the

[21:36]end of the voicemail segment sad so send us a text leave us a voicemail we want to talk about anything but this one's pretty good complimentary movie movie goer here uh just calling in to say rob is right play the sounder about the moron note super funny that's right i laughed at the whole segment mostly at the stuff that rob said and scoffed at the stuff russ the boy said

[22:00]now to be fair i have played this part of the voicemail before that the aura thinks what are we talking about the moron note he thinks my note on the car about going to moron school you played this a week ago yeah i just said russell i just played this part but i have now the rest of the voicemail oh sorry the whole thing but we do want to get back i had to leave it in that part with rob's right i suppose i could have cut it out but it wouldn't have flowed right you know what i mean oh no it wouldn't have rob's right oh wrong one i clicked the wrong one i mean

[22:31]rob's right oh my god i clicked it again that's so crazy uh great stuff and yes coming from a complimentary movie goer uh consider the source also on that note really fun to chat with russ's at a wedding i explained to her all the horrifying things the complimentary movie goer crew have done over this over the years and to see her react in real time uh very we're very very very bad people and she was shocked and mystified some of our behaviors now russell i

[23:07]gotta say i the company movie guys are these high school friends these are guys i grew up with so that yeah i would say high school friends they were guys in my neighborhood i would say down with the underground were they in the childhood rap group well one of them was in the childhood rap group that would be called the bad boys rob i would say one of them one of them and we were at this gentleman's wedding actually he he got married and so they were i would say i i'd say

[23:32]four of the of what i would call the six complimentary movie guys we're at a very small wedding and we were at kind of a dinner and the upstairs roommate has maybe met one or two of them a few times but maybe here and there but i i think uh this complimentary movie guys started cheering more than needed to be shared oh now russell was he telling stories about it was about you being a piece of shit like were you a piece of shit because these movie guys listen this is the karkovs highlighter christmas tree group were you also a piece of shit russell

[24:01]what's going on here no see this is the dip this is the difference okay this is where i would be a year older than these guys but live in the same neighborhood so in the same group but they had a lot of events without me so i was never part of like these complimentary movie guy things they've had some experiences like at milwaukee brewer games that i would never be a part of like stealing someone's cheese head that type of thing where yeah i i would say i'm not part of the complimentary movie guys writing notes and leaving on people's cars that's sounds like it's right up

[24:32]their alley oh my god if i just said they're a piece of shit a bunch of times russell what's your tactic in these conversations when you're with the upstairs roommate and it's clear that a complimentary moviegoer is about to reveal some things you'd rather not reveal how do you change the subject hey russell you still buy the moviegoer moviegoer moviegoer moviegoer moviegoer buy those magnum condoms you know hey come on now for my huge dog i don't want to talk about my huge dog my balls don't even show in a dick pic i don't think i really have any shame about too much stuff i did if i did stupid shit i'll just own it i've probably already told the story on it so i'm not

[25:01]too worried about it we're concerned okay okay yeah when i started i thought long-term mutual funds were the way to go well with interest rates nowadays oh my god all right let's get back so rob's joke went over well the fees that they're charging for those things i mean just go with an index by yourself just do an index i knew i could get these guys hooked on that sick shit that i talk about here we go from 20 plus years ago most of that stuff doesn't happen anymore most of it can i just say this this reminds me so much of our friend i'm not gonna say who our

[25:30]friend from owatonna when we went to his wedding and the college friends met the high school friends and the high school friends had way more fucked up stories than we were used to it got real it got real they were telling stories and we were like what the fuck is we thought we had some fucked up stories about this guy and they were telling stories we're like holy shit this is the first time in my life it's true it was unbelievable that that particular guy is starting to make a lot of sense right now as well he's really starting to like sound like the the level-headed kind of guy we need in this world i'm not even kidding man every time he chimes in i'm like that's smart

[26:00]as shit he actually texted me the other day just direct to me and he said something and i don't know what he was referencing but i think we must have mentioned him on the podcast and he must have heard it because he texted me something direct and i was like i don't know what i had no idea what he was referencing no no he's but i do think he listens i i bet you didn't know he listened rob well he said he has said that he listens but he he doesn't listen to his wife because his wife tried to listen for like 10 minutes and told him to shut it off so he can't

[26:30]listen in the car with his wife i hear that from a lot of ladies surprisingly hey go back and listen to that jeff hornacek bit and tell me that she's your wife's not gonna love that uh my god wives love jeff hornacek was the dvd tournament i thought was going to result in rough keeping the final four or at least the national champion and national runner-up some sort of assembly of his favorite dvds of all time as voted by us the complete dipshit back listeners so i asked the question to the upstairs roommate how many dvds still exist and she said you know

[27:05]the answer is zero not happy not a happy listener so keep up the good work guys this is not russ all right so it's not russ we had to make sure russell so they're saying that your dvd tournament has resulted in you having zero dvds and the listeners are furious about that are they fearing us to leave multiple voicemails before the next episode i don't know russell what say you i technically have still i still have those four dvds that made the final four wow

[27:32]russell are you are you just hiding them in your drawer so that the upstairs roommate doesn't see them you see that door back behind me matt yeah upstairs roommate not digging through that door that's that's the you don't want to go with that that's where the snacks are gonna go from now on russell's russell's what what is this cock cage and why does it have such a big battery it's from the old tenant right rob that's right oh yeah that was there before i've got like on a

[28:02]big piece of notebook paper in my desk it says if you find the electric cock cage this was just a joke so that i can pull that out and give it to you guys letter to release the press if killed by electric cock cage while taking a bath do you guys ever have that though so the the complimentary movie guys some of them have met the upstairs roommate more than a couple times some of them don't know her very well and probably know her more through like the podcast like losing the vehicle those types of things like how often does that happen for you guys where you're you're bright old friends matt you run to the richfield guys and sarah gets to hang out with

[28:34]the richfield guys is that is that a common occurrence or not sarah sarah went to richfield so she knows a lot at least she knows who these people are so it's not like the jackass who's now a nice guy can come up and she you know even like some of her friends i still have preconceived notions of what they were from back in high school and they're the nicest people in the world now kind of thing right like 25 years 30 years whatever has passed it's completely different but so it's a little different for us that for the most part she knows most of the saint ole of people at this

[29:04]point it doesn't happen very often anymore but it is it you start to get a little bit of the the sweats going and stuff when some things start coming up yeah oh they don't mention my huge talking balls oh my god my nickname in high school was thick dick oh don't tell everybody that that's crazy so here's the thing russell is that first of all my wife loves my friends they get along so well and and it gives me it gives me the great opportunity to do what i love doing

[29:32]anything else and that is talking about weight lifting yeah that's powerlifting powerlifting not talking i'm not gonna make that joke joke that everybody knows i'm gonna make i'm not gonna do it that's for my weightlifters out there uh russell it gives me a chance to do what i've been doing for years and that is telling one lie about jenny and i have stuck with it every year since we've been dating and i tell this lie anytime we talk about saint olaf or graduation or anything yeah

[30:01]and that is that and i've never admitted publicly that i lie about this i've always still said it's the truth and that is that jenny took the largest sized hat at graduation she had to have the largest size hat that they had a lot of our friends just accept that as truth because i will drop it in any time we talk about college i'll be like well you know jenny she had the largest hat i'll do it when she's not there she'll get up and go to the bathroom and anytime i say it jenny goes what the fuck look at this guy look at his head you think he had a smaller hat than me at graduation

[30:32]meanwhile like rocky dennis over there that guy had a big head smoke good the mask all right let's get into what about you that's like are you still occasionally like you'll go to hawaii with your high school buddy like does anna know your buddy scott whatever his name is like your old old she totally does she definitely does but she didn't know them before right so like they're you know she knows them as she's only known them as adults like we and and like you

[31:01]guys well she's only met two of you and you're like perfect gentlemen so she only has that context for you you know well i can't wait to meet her aaron because i if there's one thing that's true about me wives love me they think i'm great they don't think i'm a bad influence every friend's wife thinks i'm awesome you know what man that's it i think we've outgrown that right there's like there's a certain time in your life where you're like well i'm no i it's easier to blame rob for this you know no no no i don't talk about there was a comment from the upstairs roommate about

[31:34]a comment rob made three times on the episode two weeks ago that oh well no yeah no no now yeah now if they're listening to you do this no yeah that's true no no that's true yeah you've yeah i can't even talk about my busty wife anymore okay you've made your bed doing this yeah really i mean it wasn't so bad until this i'll tell you what herbie hancock would be spinning in his grave he didn't sign the constitution so big to not have freedom of speech talking about my busty wife

[32:00]rolling going aaron what's that oh it's going good last time i saw herbie on tv he was looking better than stevie wonder and he's maybe he might even be a decade older than stevie he looks great aaron i hate to tell you this is not the part where we talk about the album i don't know earlier but this is rolling going well we're rolling good um i just want to let me see if i can tease something up here um i'm home alone tonight uh it was just me and wallace for the evening hopefully he's sleeping kid yep because anna went to see a production of lame is oh nice

[32:31]master of the house keeper of the year yes there it is yes you know i was trolling for that that's i could play that guy i could play that role in in like a legit broadway you could i think if you gave me two weeks to prepare for that i i would shut that shit down i would be the king of broadway you wouldn't even have two weeks one week yeah you can do it in one week i would love that aaron you know if i went to see uh lame is in person i would steal a candy bar and then when i get

[33:00]trouble be like oh is this ironic i all i wanted was to hear russell do master of the house if i at some point tonight in my it'll really be oh it'll really be look at left i gotta feel it lyrics.com uh i gotta say that you and then so that was what i was excited about that's all i was really trolling for and then the thing that's really stressing me out in my life right now is the library i just can't like there's too many choices sit yourself down i'll you i mean i'm

[33:32]here for it it's just there's too many choices and then i got the physical library and the libby app and then like i got stuff on hold and then the holds get backed up and so i'm waiting for the road but then lonesome dove comes available so then maybe i should start lonesome dove and then all of a sudden i get off the gate i gotta sneak like are you talking about the road by cormac mccarthy yeah i'm halfway through and i had to send it back how can you read it with that punctuation he uses it's crazy i read that and i got done and i was like this is the most depressing thing i've

[34:01]ever i used to hate that but i was into this one i know i i agree with you i was out on it and now i'm back in i don't know aaron does that blow your mind a little bit that i know so much about that but no you're smarter than you give me i'm smart for i know lots of authors yeah man it's just trust me and then and then i got like i got hit with like a oh here's a skip the line hold for you dreamed of empires and that's all about like cortez and moctezuma and moctezuma is like eating grasshopper tacos with green sauce and avocado on them it's

[34:30]a beautiful it's wonderful but i only i only have it for six more days i'm here talking to you guys i'm thinking like i should be like reading my book because it's got to go back in six days you're telling a story about cortez and meanwhile i'm talking about juan de fuca and nobody i don't get a laugh from my explorer bit this is crazy it's the same bit when did you tell juan de fuca i didn't i couldn't remember what i talked about i couldn't remember the funny name i bailed i take there is no way that any of the complimentary movie guys know any of the people you're talking about zero chance zero zero well we can we can skip me at this point but the library

[35:08]it's too much so stress me out man there's too many options there's all these hold lists there's all these we're not skipping you being stressed out by library so like when you walk in are you like oh god there's so many books it's like what are you doing it's the it's the it's the library itself and then it's the app it's the it's the because now i have a kindle and it's the ebooks and i get i try to i try to optimize my whole strategy but then stuff comes available different

[35:34]times i don't i never finish something in 21 days who can finish a book in 21 days i don't got news for aaron you're reading too slow you gotta double your reading time that's all i'm saying how can you read faster no it's you're you're done you're never gonna make it you're too book addicted aaron what's your book strategy are you going like depressing book happy book what are we doing um no i try no i i don't really worry about the the tone of the book i try to do like a quick book and then a project book and then a quick book and then a project book and

[36:03]then like once in a while i mix into non-fiction but i gotta have fiction at the same time as and then like i always get something where i'm like that's like a you know white whale kind of a thing i gotta finish i used to be a uh biography history i remember that sports biography history sports i would always throw in like a light-hearted sports read every other book i would do one of my greatest disappointments is that russ said we should just start a book club we did and we'd seize on the brink you guys did yeah we had eight book we had eight eight to ten of us

[36:32]ordered in college and read it i think i was part of that yeah i read the book and then i never knew anybody meant to talk about it i gotta think about this i think john from owatonna read it with us tune in next week for the back to the better book club i got iced out of the book club this is just like the fantasy football when i didn't it's on a side text chain oh my god it's still going we just did some book about cortez last week it was great oh my god you dreamed of empires by is it alvaro matt matt started a podcast on it next week's episode's all

[37:06]about the card catalog so that's it i gotta i gotta get my life in order because there's a lot going wrong including the cat in the house in library's dress i've heard about the dewey decimal system but what about the huey louis decimal system but for real like shouldn't you shouldn't you just be reading one book at a time then and wow you should you should but that's the problem with the library

[37:33]is if i don't finish it in time and it has to go back then i'm you know then and like i got i don't know i don't know what the stat is but sarah sarah got on this big kick about four years ago and i think she's up to like 80 books a year kind of a thing i forget what the app is but puts it all out there and rates them and all that stuff and you know i don't know i can't read that fast wouldn't it be more appropriate for you to buy

[38:01]the book and support the artist as opposed to just like that's the problem the books that i buy sit on my shelf waiting for me to read them while i'm distracted by the library books because i've got the library they gotta go back right yeah feels like feels like you need to like sit down and make a schedule here yeah like some goals and like you know get kind of set a set a tone or get something get real get some sort of routine or something right i don't know because i'm with you because it can get frustrating we've got like three books sitting on the and they're looking

[38:32]at the shelf there yeah but like or you're you're a third of the way through three of them kind of a like well what do i pick what's next aaron i'm going to give you some advice from the no style living out oh from the rob style of living i'm going to give you some advice from the rob style living time to start ignoring your family a little bit just ignore them a little bit it's going to free up a ton of time trust me what's that one matt what do we what are we meditations by marcus aurelius i'm getting into the stoic oh man oh you're already the most stoic

[39:03]guy i know why do you need to study stoicism this stuff is so great marcus aurelius should study you it's the second time through this one i'm oh i keep thinking i'm gonna be a stoic like i'm not gonna be like i'm gonna be like people don't affect my emotions and then i get an email at like 11 30 at night and i'm like oh this pisses me off so bad i'm like i'm not a stoic i can't do it man i gotta say the other problem with my reading is i went on another sort of bender last week so like saturday sunday monday tuesday i was out drinking and then i couldn't read at night

[39:30]because i had had too many drinks so that's you know that's also gonna interfere with your reading what's our driver mood status right now where are we what are we looking at oh you know what the thing is i haven't i've not been making cocktails at home i've been trying to drink less at home so i've not been making cocktails so because then but then last week i went out a bunch so uh we still have about 24 bottles of vermouth i would say okay little airplane bottles rob i have a question for you as a former bartender and maybe erin can answer this yes if you see my diploma i was trying to make some cocktails tonight working through a few cocktail books we have wow we have simple syrup in the fridge in like a closed container

[40:06]but it may have been in there for like a year can simple syrup go bad yes or not the internet says yes oh big time i i can just tell you from experience bacteria liquid and sugar it's kind of like a match made to heaven lost russell like it literally goes together like crazy do not drink that oh go make more or use some honey or something i thought of you erin we ran out of honey the other day i thought i was like i was like i almost texted a picture of it there and

[40:32]it was great i got a big jar i always get a jar in the in the cupboard but the honey doesn't go bad but the simple syrup goes bad honey doesn't go bad russell and again i hate to take you back we're going past marksman it really is we're going all the way back to cleopatra honey bad cats are gods they walk among us so yeah trust me it goes very bad how it's rolling going with me but i'd love to hear how it's rolling going with russell rolling going i got a few things for us to discuss the first is i wanted to bring this up i ran into a beck did it better fan

[41:06]airplane the other night no way then uh someone on our group knows who this is so i thought we could play 20 questions with rob and erin wow and see if you guys can guess who the fan that i ran into on a plane does that sound like a good way to go or bad or should we do it a different way no that sounds okay i like it's good you guys go ahead okay was this fan was this person a geisha

[41:30]with a fan with a beck did it better logo printed on it why did i like that i don't even know what any of that means so i can't answer it i'll give you another question what's a geisha russell a geisha is a japanese prostitute now you might think is this the last japanese erotic story to come up today it's not i do have my japanese whiskey tasting tomorrow night oh russell you're gonna love my list because i'm talking about japanese erotica oh my god from my knowledge there was no japanese erotica involved with this fan wow all right okay rob you're up that erin this is so fucked i this is

[42:03]rob that was a funny question did you have a funnier question for that i don't think so did this person did this person go to saint olaf oh no rob's so mad he's so mad when someone else makes a joke at least really threw him they didn't go to saint olaf no is this person a male yes all right oh okay you wanted to ask about their japanese geisha again or somebody i remember that was

[42:30]i mean i can't top that does this person did this person grow up near me uh i would say no i like like around cannon falls area cannon falls i would say no well they're probably closer to me than cannon uh closer to me than you wow okay that's sick has this person left us a voicemail i think it's i think it's likely they have but if they have it's not an often voicemail if they have it's less than less than two is this person related to me to you yeah

[43:05]i hope not no all right has this person ever appeared on the podcast this person has appeared on a podcast but i don't believe on our podcast no oh what oh wow what the fuck is this person does this person's kid listen to the podcast i don't i i would assume the answer is no i don't

[43:33]know about the kid's status of this person so i'm gonna say no that's gonna eliminate someone you were thinking of how do we not know this we have like two fans i mean this is this person have both russell and matt's cell phone numbers no uh okay okay is this person a spouse of somebody from saint olaf no is this person from richfield that answer to that is yes okay you got 10 questions to go

[44:03]okay all right did we see this person in vegas no oh shit does this person coach a sport oh god damn i was gonna ask that same question there i don't know the answer to it we have if they do we have never discussed it so i'm gonna say no it's possible but i'm gonna say no to coaching a sport did this person recently buy a house in richfield where the furnace was all fucked up and the guy

[44:30]replays it at a half-assed job okay i don't know the answer to that if someone's told a story about that i apologize for not listening no that was your house russell god damn oh sorry nothing's hitting today from rob yet eight more eight more have i met this person in person i would say no yeah okay i have no i have no other questions i don't know anybody okay okay i'll tell you what this person said to me we'll see if you guys can get there how about that okay okay so i took a was that you tapping

[45:02]me under the toilet stall that would be this would be an awkward conversation if this is how i met the person i'll just say this right this is gonna get real awkward if that's my story do you think when he did that by the way the airport there's no lid right so he's sitting on an open bowl rob did you ask your question i don't think there is a lid i think you're right i think you're right he's sitting on an open bowl it's his pants on or pants off on the other question can i just give you let me tell you

[45:30]guys i talked to you about waffle battering the other day yeah my underwear is on the other day my underwear is so loose now i sat down to pee and didn't touch anything what do you mean i sat down in my underwear i peed like you sit on an open toilet with your underwear on yeah because it was already hanging out russell because my underwear is too loose i've lost too much weight rob did you ask your question okay is this person does this person play baseball i guess at some point they did but i'm not aware of them playing now i have no idea aaron i have no

[46:06]is this person a referee of any kind aaron that is a very good question the answer is yes oh okay it is is this matt's brother yes it was matt's brother wow i was i was at the las vegas airport and i was getting on a plane check this guy we haven't talked too much about this i was taking a flight tonight back from vegas i'm taking the red eye back so a 1 a.m flight home 1 a.m

[46:34]like 5 30 right i landed at 6 55 in the morning the next day did you go to work that day i worked from home that afternoon russell that's a young man's game wait what was i need to know more okay so i want to hear the story about matt's brother but then i need to know more about the story of the hours 7 p.m to midnight in vegas before the flight oh okay let's start with meeting matt's brother so i'm in the airport um i go to the airport i get there let's

[47:02]say 11 30 flights at 1 a.m i'm getting home at 7 8 6 55 right but this way i'm saving myself a day of travel i'm i'm sleeping on the plane a few hours right you've really made yourself the other thing there you don't need to go into detail but flights got crazy expensive like a regular flight from vegas minneapolis vegas was like between 1600 and 2400 bucks yeah thanks woodrow wilson wow so so i thanks a lot i take the red eye home russell what if i told you i could double that

[47:32]money does it involve that the geisha's scheme or whatever you were talking about earlier do you guys think we're not betting large enough sums in vegas i feel like we should be betting bigger sums you probably should lose quicker or faster such a great idea this year last year was crafts this year betting bigger oh like i heard wait then we'd win more money i this is what i'm saying well yeah aaron

[48:02]we're at i'm at the airport people start boarding and i stand up and this gentleman kind of standing up near me and he goes are you russ and i kind of look at him for a sec yeah because i was at a work conference it easily could have been one of like 500 people that were at this conference that i know that i don't remember and i kind of looked and didn't quite recognize it he goes i'm matt's brother yeah immediately matt's brother also was taking the red eye flight home from from vegas to minneapolis for the same reason

[48:33]i was because the regular flights were insanely priced so we talked for a minute or two we asked him about what he was doing in vegas here's the question he asked me he looks at me goes so you fly with the armrest up tonight i go you're damn right i am that's so sick that's so sick a bit from the show i so luke my brother luke he uh he just texted me he goes hey i just saw russ on the red eye back i'm like

[49:01]that's pretty cool like what were you doing in vegas like i didn't even know he was doing so you know obviously there's like 17 different conferences right you know whatever every single day out in vegas and so you guys are not at the same conference he was actually staying at caesar's and he said he was taking a uh a tram or a shuttle like their conference must have been at like a conference center away from the hotel to the la yeah or to the vegas convention center yep yep so

[49:33]he was doing it a little different the convention i was at was at the hotel and it's kind of nice to be at a conference at a vegas hotel you just go down the elevator everything's right there you don't have to walk there but he was saying the other conference that was there at the time that he thought was taking up a lot of space he said was like a domino's pizza conference like it must have been owners of franchises or something like that i was like how fun would that go i would love to hear there's go to a domino's like now like the first person who

[50:02]comes out to like introduce the main session has got to be annoyed right yeah and then what do they do for food are they allowed to have anything other than pizza i i would assume no i'm checking excuse me do you have any cauliflower crust back there please that's what i want so i talked to him real briefly it was you know what i would get there aaron really terrible wings hey can i have ever seen in my entire life ah yes fast food pizza thank you so much so good so it's funny because

[50:31]like i i just always forget luke listens just always i mean he listens all the time he doesn't like call you know doesn't like break it down every week or anything like that and then he'll just randomly say stuff that's from out of left field that is funny that one of you guys said or something like that so he's a big fan big fan of the podcast hello shout out to luke yeah so can i remind you russell that you do get a if you're going to a conference in vegas you do get a discount at the green door sex club sex club right now sunday through thursday night sixty dollars

[51:04]see here's my lanyard let me in right luke did say he did not he was at caesar's and i said well did you go across to carnival court and he said no oh and i'm like well what the fuck missed opportunity man have we not taught him have we not taught you anything i hate to say this as a as a to our fans but you're a real dumb shit the dumbest of the dumb i mean what are you doing not going to carnival court aaron's gonna get a tattoo for god's sakes yeah right they got

[51:31]free cover guy we played that was the first time we played like group blackjack we played for a very long time it was fun as shit 15 tables yeah we're like oh these tables with the women dancing front no thanks let's go to ones where somebody's wearing a steve young jersey i do want to know russell how did you survive until your 1 a.m flight like what's the strategy oh you know what so i was down in vegas for a work conference i was presenting at some stuff then it's a lot of networking vegas for a conference like when i go with you guys i go often enough where vegas isn't a big deal for

[52:03]me anymore like because i've probably been i probably go twice a year now for every year for the last seven eight years ten years yeah and so when i go for work i'll go play blackjack a little bit but if i'm not having fun playing blackjack i'm out i'll just go i'll go back to the hotel room yeah playing blackjack by yourself i still think this is the ultimate depths of sadness like when i go do that i'm like this is gonna be so fun and i sit there and i'm like oh yeah i'm surrounded by the guys we make

[52:30]fun of like that's the only people that are here this is so depressing so i had an idea i was gonna tell you guys about my idea for blackjack aaron then i had to share a few more things my idea for blackjack i realized this would be a great idea sitting there with strangers at blackjack table and not having as much fun as i have with you guys the idea is a blackjack handicap like golf where when people walk up they have like a number on their chest that says like i'm a par player or i'm like i'm like a plus 10 meaning i suck meaning i always hit 13s i guess plus 10s okay

[53:06]when you get to like plus 20 plus 25 that's when you're we can work on however the score system works but somehow you are tracked and and whether you play by the book you occasionally take chances and then you can add more to it are you a fun blackjack player or are you the guy who's stressed out and every time you lose a hand you're like motherfucking the dealer less fun for everyone at the table yeah i would love to know i want to know

[53:31]who i'm playing blackjack with from the start because if you're playing with the wrong people it's just not fun what about this even if you're occasionally winning you just want to be done agree what if you add a level of complexity where everyone has a card that they keep a secret and as they come to the table you can gamble on what's on their card and then they have to show it once they have to show like you try to see if you can tell what kind of blackjack player they are when they sit down and then you get you know a bonus if you get it right i've got a perfect

[54:00]solution because this very thing does exist in my day-to-day life yes and that is they need colored belts oh if it's like jujitsu you go in and you see that you're sitting with a bunch of white belts you know that you're fucked meanwhile you're looking over that table over there there's some brown belts and purple belts and black belts that's where the real players are and i'm telling you it's so nice in jujitsu because somebody will come up and start talking to me and i instantly know if i have to listen to a word this guy says you know i mean sometimes i'll just talk i'm like you're a fucking dumbass i don't have to listen to jack shit you say right so belts with stripes i can handle it but there should be some sort of obvious

[54:34]rating system yeah where you can tell the skill level of a and maybe sometimes it's fine to play with like a bogey level blackjack player like yeah sure you can still have fun with someone who who does stupid shit as long as they're a fun person you can still have fun with someone who's not a you're gonna make you're gonna make your bets based on the other people so you might just be doing table minimum the whole time not worrying about it here we go here we go yeah then i got

[55:01]a question off this and wear the belt system see how good you are then we do the buckeye system for fun if they're fun we slap a buckeye on them i'm like come in and you look like maurice claret with his free tattoo or whatever you're fucking fun to play with you are set i'm like the chris spielman of blackjack give me another buckeye bitch yeah exactly now russ i have to ask you this yeah if there was a belt system for blackjack okay where would you place yourself at and again the belt system is white blue purple brown black uh brown belt with three

[55:34]stripes oh that's so good i think i would be a purple belt there's still some times where it's like an ace four and i'm like i don't know what the fuck to do i'm still asking the dealer every once in a while but i but i know enough to not make the dumb plays like i'm never i i'm always going to hit a 16 against a 10 and the number of people in the game that i'm going to hit is going to hit a 16 against a 10 and the number of people in the casino who will change what they do on that blows my fucking mind i'm like you why would you change you don't even have to think about it just fucking hit it aaron what's your belt at blackjack tell me again then i'm whatever's the second from

[56:05]the bottom blue blue i'm blue yeah i know that i know the i know the solid by the book plays but you know and when it comes to anything more advanced i gotta look to you guys for some help yeah it's like splitting i'm still confused on splitting sometimes matt what about you i think now i'm probably a brown belt with three stripes but back in the day like when we could count cards and stuff we knew where the where where the where the uh strengths were in the deck and all that

[56:31]stuff that was black belt time but i've i've lost my skills so i'm back down to the brown belt i know you can't technically go down yeah once you once you are a black belt you are a black belt but that's where i if i had to test out today that's where i would test out so aaron so the last night i'm headed home i'm getting on this flight at 1 a.m and there's people from this industry conference down drinking at the bars but i i've reached the point where i'm i'm done with people enough with work industry i'm done with it i've put in my time yeah so i was gonna try to go find a fancy

[57:02]restaurant to go to by myself for a little bit but it got too late i was worried i wasn't gonna get back in time so i just went to one of the cool food courts got some food those are my little food chilled out packed my stuff went to the airport and then i think i found one of the best flights slash kind of half sleeping for a movie on a on a plane what national treasure with nicholas you can kind of be half awake for that like no headphones in i'm just watching nicholas gauge

[57:38]run around with like the declaration of independence occasionally he's getting into a gunfight i'm like i'm down with this i think that is the number one movie for an overnight flight on delta is national treasure nicholas cage rob hit the music don't we have like some patriotic stuff or something oh you know what get any music that would work for this oh yeah i don't we fucking have some patriotic stuff because i knew didn't

[58:03]i have god i always have the national anthem on here and i can never fucking find it god i'll share with you guys two other flight movies i had to share that i thought were good picks catch me if you can never seen the movie before have you guys seen that one before do you concur oh yeah so that was a good one and then i had about 30 minutes left on a flight out there i decided to do the dinosaur or the initial dinosaur scenes in the original jurassic park yeah the first time they see the dinosaurs the first time they see the

[58:33]t-rex the t-rex attacking the car the velociraptors like i'm doing the dinosaur scenes from jurassic park vibrations in the water now we're talking about yes that was good that's good t-rex eating the goat that's what i'm talking about oh yeah i i just do all the parts with the kids they're not annoying in those movies at all russell are you able to sleep on planes i wish i could i cannot sleep normally normally the answer is no but i

[59:00]would say i was 60 out so what a three-hour flight really felt like about a 45-minute flight i'm gonna recommend the overnight red eye flight for people coming home from vegas once in a while matt roland going how's it going with you now russell hey russell's roommate fast forward this part but russell did you go by dispensary and buy some more of that weed that you love so much rob can you play a song for me you know it uh we've been on the list we've had it before but could you play graceland by paul simon all-timer so i i don't want to bring down i'm bringing down

[59:35]the pod so warning warning bringing down the pod it's not meant to bring down the pod but the next two minutes i'll bring down the pod and hopefully bring it back oh my god so went to a funeral about a week ago for a guy who's my age and it's one of those guys who you knew growing up but you like you don't have them in their in your phone book in your in your phone anymore kind of a thing but then you realize that you knew them really really well kind of a thing yeah and so played little

[60:03]league baseball and the guy lived around the corner from me for about 10 years was working on the side of the road got hit died kids all this stuff like just horrible right and it just makes you think about everything that's going on so what at the funeral somebody got up and sang this song and it was beautiful unbelievable you know was playing the guitar and all that stuff you know so we're sitting there talking i'm talking to buddy from richfield and we're talking we're talking about people that are struggling it's a couple other people

[60:33]struggling learn the next that night that night that another one of the guys we were just talking about struggling just passed away two days before that kind of like so 45 42 i'm 44 right now it's just too young man it's just heartbreaking kind of thing right i had i was wondering if i should go to this funeral i'm like i'm talking to sarah and sarah grew up across the street from this guy so she knows him obviously and she's like no i'd really like to go and at least see uh patty and mark and mom and dad and stuff like that like

[61:04]okay i went and it was awesome to be there like for a funeral you saw a lot of people everybody's able to grieve together things like that other buddy that died you know you just you start calling people you haven't talked to in a long time all this stuff and so i'm like i'm like i'm i don't know how to say this without being too like fatalistic or anything but like you know we talked about going to like the uh reunions and we talked about going to this and that and everybody's

[61:30]life's getting all busy and stuff like that if i could just tell two people to learn from me to just you know if there's a funeral go to the damn funeral if there's a reunion go to the damn reunion if there's somebody you want to call make a fucking phone call things like that because yeah if you're going to want to go to vegas go to vegas life is too damn short and it was unbelievable wake-up call to just be in the moment and take things a little bit more not as serious but like at the same time take things serious when there's things like that and i know we've had people who've had much closer people pass away uh you

[62:05]know to them that are listening to this pod or on the pod but it's a little bit weird it's just it's different when it's like oh man like you know i haven't talked to that person in 10 years but i know i'm really you thought you had 20 more you thought you had 40 more right you didn't think it like you just you never you never never ever know so go to vegas go to the funeral hang out with your friends all that seems like a good time to say if anyone's gonna be at the link january yeah 19th

[62:30]through matt what's going to say i was gonna end up oh i'm sorry shit 2026 january 17th to the 20th we will be at i don't know i gotta be honest if one of my last nights on this earth is with magic mike i'm gonna be pissed sorry hey but let's but let's i mean let's think about that right so we we always joke about magic like magic mike comes on this thing he's a fucking awesome guy right so like i hope he shows up yeah i hope he shows up right you know if he wants to come hang out with us i hope he does and then we'll see what the green room is because he loves staying at

[63:01]the green room are we going to paris this year is that where we're going i hear it's beautiful that time of year i i just think this man like we we learned from our buddy jake passing away when we were young that's like yep we gotta say i love you i mean my wife when she stayed up after my wife is still up after the last episode and she goes you guys said i love you too to each other at the end i go yeah we always say that yeah that's what we say and then she started talking to me about some shit and i was the highest i've ever been in my life she's like my coach and i had a huge fight this is one of the worst days of my life and i was like

[63:31]what i thought you were the coach i was like what if the high guy applied for a job i think it would look something like this i'm good at excel you know what i mean like russell's doing the face but i do that like back and back seriously though like just thinking about that like you you never you just got to take those opportunities and so i'm gonna go tell my wife that it's time we 69 again it's been four damn years four years you know what the worst my wife can say to us 69ing is no right because a 69 i'm just gonna tell you

[64:06]you do have to ask okay let's be real you can't just it's not something you can slide into doesn't just happen spontaneously i could go north south i go from side control to north south boom 69 times about something to think about that's it that's my uh that's my psa for the hopefully didn't bring enjoy every sandwich that was a psa 10 to me rob rolling going how's it going with you uh i also

[64:30]have something really serious to talk about and that is two things real quick number one poison me.com unfortunately i've got russell it's not poison me.com do not go to poison me.com i told you the women you're meeting there are no good they just want to be poisoned oh yeah i was out of tune karaoke club is no more what oh zero kids what signed up for karaoke how is that even possible karaoke club has officially died

[65:04]and it may not come back rob how long how long did you have it how many years i had high and a low number of kids for six years you I had a high looking back it was the good times it's like you said you didn't know i had 15 kids in there zero towards the end i had two and now of course that number is zero karaoke club nobody really liked you that much and i'm pretty sure it fucked up my hearing permanently

[65:34]and you're done forever so now i have two wireless microphones couldn't think of any live shows we could use that ad you just sit in the in the gym at 6 30 in the morning singing biscuit by yourself or what we're gonna need video what is uh what is nookie oh my god kids don't tell your parents that i use the word nookie okay and don't tell your parents i said

[66:00]don't tell them they hate that it's double don't tell rob are you gonna are you gonna go this semester and like act like there is a club and get paid your stipend for it even though no one shows up or no i did the brilliant move where i joined another teacher's club and now i only have to do it every other week so every other week i am now part of the kahoot club where we just play computer games in class so yeah well russell please don't i cannot get started about various educational games in the classroom but guess what they kick ass they're really really good they're they're crazy good right now so did you try to sell the club or did nobody know about it

[66:34]or what what happened to it or just do kids not do karaoke anymore please you're just you're like stomping on my ball here russell not in the way now you're not even wearing high heels so i don't like it not closing them in a drawer like you usually like listen there's a club fair where all the clubs are described in detail sounds like you didn't show up karaoke club had no takers okay nobody was swiping right on me russell and someone was high as shit the night before

[67:01]it was so karaoke club is no more now that same day i come in and the student says to me or says to another student what is your favorite flavor of dude wipes and i said do not talk about this anymore i said you cannot now i just want to say dude wipes of course are flushable wipes that are just for men for the record they're not flushable do not flush them hey guess what you can flush them a little bit a little treat for

[67:33]the toilet man flush them down flush them not someone else's bathroom right now yeah right oh yeah sure i'll throw them in the garbage i'm sure that's gonna go great for my marriage my marriage is on the rocks already bad rob is this why suzanne got mad at you because you flushed your dude wipes down her house the other day yeah you know she would have those two she's like my son i got dude wipes for my son along with his ball wash which i still have by the way i have filthy balls i haven't washed them in years now what smells like mulch over here here's the deal oh oh he said what are your favorite flavors of dude wipes i said stop i said first of all

[68:05]we don't call them flavors right that's just saying the quiet part out loud right like i was like these are for eating ass great oh my god aaron what the shit this is this is you gotta watch aaron because he said you can tell his wife is not in the house there's no way he would ever say that if his wife is in the other room no way she's at she's talking about john belgian and he's talking about eating ass

[68:31]she's a lame ass man hey somebody stole this piece of ass i can't even afford it and other parts of late biz which i obviously know aaron they're on the wall or whatever he did say to this kid though he goes my favorite is the cool mint and i said now i'm now my curiosity is peaked so we are going to go through the top flavors of dude flavors

[69:01]flavors and unfortunately on the well no dude wipes are the most popular flavors of dude wipes no dude white flavors was just a search i had previously had so it came up before okay okay we've got fragrance free who's getting fragrance free you cowards you absolute fucking cowards our house our upstairs roommate is a no fragrance uh laundry laundry detergent i i think it's insane i need i need a fragrance in there i can't stand the no fragrance i'm with you russell i've the

[69:33]last couple times i've bought we do separate so like if everything's going in and i'm like i'm it's fragrance if it's just my stuff i i put the fragrance all over that shit wow tide pods i think i'm at tide pods this round tide pods are so great when we run out of tide pods and i have to use liquid detergent i'm like what am i a caveman i gotta measure this shit in a cup and pour it in who knows how much it is i need people to know that i'm clean i can't go no fragrance next up herbal relief herbal relief is one of the flavors tea tree oil in

[70:06]there now some peppermint the one that sounded like my favorite eucalyptus witch hazel mint chill mint chill dude wipes guys you go to i was i poisoned me.com you know you're gonna need some dude wipes mint chill you want a netflix and mint chill oh it feels so like you're just sitting there and your butthole is five degrees cooler than the rest of your body and you're the

[70:30]only one who knows your special secret it's not normally like this i use the mint chill i'm apologize it's not normally this size where's all the steam coming from it's like somebody opened a beer fridge what is this it's my cold butthole my butthole is exceptionally cold right now it's my spring next flavor odor destroyer unfortunately the one i would probably purchase odor destroyer sounds like too too uh industrial yeah i gotta i gotta admit if my wife bought me

[71:04]odor destroyer dude wipes i would be bummed then finally russell my two favorites yeah are the seasonal dude wipes now man i know you're looking up how can i buy some dude wipes okay fuck my septic system okay first flavor shea butter smooth second one by the way does not sound nice like mint feeling great if it felt like shea butter a hard pass thank you yeah i don't need any reminder of like the movie theater at

[71:33]this point you need butter in there and i'm gonna go with the shea butter smooth second one by the Finally, Russell, we have Dumpkin Spice. That's right. They have the fall flavors, and it is called Dumpkin Spice. I'd be worried you wouldn't be able to get rid of that. It would just linger forever, like past the season. It's cool if you got it from October to early November, but you can't have Bumpkin Spice in February. No, Russell, it's not a P. It's a D. Dumpkin.

[72:00]Dumpkin. Bumpkin. No, Dumpkin Spice. Oh. Either way, it's season. It's time to see what everybody's got. Hey, this latte feels a little off. It's time for roll. Wait a minute. Did you mix up my Dumpkin Spice in here? Liz? Where are my Starbursts, and where are my Dumpkin Spice Dude Wipes? I was going through your closet looking for snacks, and all I found were these Dumpkin Dude Wipes.

[72:30]I've eaten 30 of them. That would be embarrassing. What would be the most embarrassing if the upstairs roommate found? Oh. The Dumpkin Spice, yeah. Cool Mint Dude Wipes. I was wondering why it's always cold when he gets up from the couch, where he's been sitting. It's so cold. It's my secret. All right. Listen, Herbie Hancock, born 1940 in Chicago. John Hancock. Herbie, basically child prodigy, right? He's playing with the Chicago Symphony at 11, playing Mozart. So I want to give you a hint.

[73:00]He was very young when he was doing the symphony thing. It's crazy. He comes through. He's a huge name in jazz. Of course, Aaron left, right, when I need to reference who Herbie Hancock played jazz for. But he's played with Miles Davis, I think. We'll have Aaron come back in and tell us. So basically, he's big in jazz. This is like his ninth album. He's frustrated by jazz. What did you say? 11th, I believe. 11th album. We're just going to seamlessly edit this together. Aaron, who did Herbie Hancock play with in jazz? He's a big name in jazz by the time this album comes out. He was in Miles Davis' second quintet.

[73:31]So he was a guy to start with Miles, maybe when he was like 17 or 18. And then broke out as a band leader early with like Maiden Voyage and I can't remember which other one, but like in his early 20s. I mean, he was a savant. Crazy. So now, this, of course, is his 11th album. We know that. We all know that. That's easy to know. And he says he's frustrated with jazz. He sees the people listening to it. The numbers are going down. So he says, I want to change this. He starts listening to Sly and the Family Stone.

[74:01]He starts listening to James Brown. He says, I want to incorporate this funk. Into my jazz. So all of a sudden, he gets on the, he's doing all electric keyboards on here. Herbie Hancock produces Headhunters. And upon release, this is the best-selling jazz album of all time. Wow. Which is crazy. This is the best-selling jazz album of all time. Until 1980. On 1980, we have Grover Washington Jr.'s Wine Light.

[74:32]It becomes the new best-selling jazz album of all time. Now, Aaron's. His face says exactly what I thought. Yeah. Why was Wine Light the number one selling album? Until 1998. Until Jeff Hornacek's free throw hand wipe. Yes. Give it to us. Give it to us, Russell. I love it. And it turns out, this is the beginning of tonight's first list. Oh, double list night? This is. Now, we don't have a double list.

[75:01]We have an inception list. You're about to be. Recepted into this list. Are you ready? A list and a list. It's a list and a list. No way. Yes. Russell, why did he wipe his face? He was saying hello to his kids, right? No. We're not talking about Jeff Hornacek anymore. Oh, three of us are. Hey, you're the one who brought up jazz. That's a great point. Now. Don't get mad at Russell for talking about jazz players when you're talking about jazz.

[75:30]That's a great point. Hey, we're just going to stay away from one jazz player. There's one guy we're not going to mention. Let's just not. Let's not even think about bringing him up. And then Jeff Hornacek had that open heart surgery and coached the Bulls into a nowhere land. It turns out, Aaron, that the album Wine Light by Grover Washington is the best-selling jazz album because of one song. It has Bill Withers on vocal. Oh, all right. Okay.

[76:00]This just the two of us. Oh, right. That's crazy. On this album. It's not a Bill Withers song. It's a Grover Washington song. It's not a Bill Withers album. It's a jazz album by a guy named Grover Washington Jr. Now, they later released this as a single. And this is where I get to the first. Who doesn't get enough credit? What? You know who doesn't get enough credit? Who's that? Grover Washington Sr. Hey, Grover Washington is my dad's name.

[76:33]You can call me Grove. Oh, God, I bombed that. It's probably no Grover Washington Jr. without Grover Washington Sr. You're right, man. Not as many Grovers nowadays. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not hearing a lot of Grovers from my friends. Hey, when are we going to get to some Bill Withers? Is he only on the list once? It's probably Just As I Am slash Still Bill. That's it. Listen, this song, if you haven't heard this song in a long time, look up this version because it's not the single version. The single version was released a year later. This is a longer, drawn-out jazz version of Just The Two Of Us.

[77:05]Bill Withers, 304, Just As I Am, and then 333, Still Bill. Oh, they split them up. Wow. Those are all sold together. When they released a single of Just The Two Of Us, it only got up to number two. It got stuck behind two songs. So this is their first mini-list of the night. Top is still spinning. It's, it's, it's time. Okay? Now, remember, this is only a mini-list.

[77:30]Now, this is like the upstairs roommate going in the secret door in the car. She's looked in the closet, followed the electric cock cage, and now she's looking in the secret door. Now she's opened the door to the cock cage. Wow. Don't open that. You can get zapped. The battery's right there. Okay? Unless you reversed it. I hear some people reverse things with batteries so it doesn't go off during a flight or something. Now, here's the thing. Is that this song never got to number one, Just The Two Of Us, the single version. It was stuck behind two different songs for five weeks.

[78:01]Oh, let's hear them. And they're some of the worst songs I've ever heard. I've ever heard in my life. One of them is 9 to 5, Morning Train. Ooh. I kind of like this one. Is this Juice Newton? No. This is Sheena Easton. My baby takes the morning train. When this? He works from 9 to 5 and then he takes another call and then to find me waiting for him.

[78:31]Not a lot of Sheenas anymore either. Not a lot of Sheenas. Well, it's a Scottish name. When she released this in England, it was 9 to 5. However, she had to add Morning Train in the U.S. to not confuse it with the Dolly Parton song. So it's called 9 to 5, Morning Train. It's kind of a backwards song, I guess, when you hear it. The other song, by the way, this was in both Seinfeld and Eurotrip. Wanted to bring that up for Russell. It was in Eurotrip. The other song it got stuck behind, Betty Davis Eyes.

[79:00]Amazing song. I have this on vinyl. Listen to these synths. Oh, my God. By Kim Carnes. Now, Kim Carnes, of course, famously in We Are the World. Everybody was like, my word. She kicked ass in We Are the World, yeah. But at that time, this song was on the top of the charts for nine non-consecutive weeks. This is Wednesday, 1982 Grammy for Best Song and Album of the Year, Record of the Year. It was number one for five weeks. It was interrupted for just one week. The song that interrupts.

[79:30]So what are the songs that interrupt Betty Davis's? She's got Betty Davis Eyes. Guess what? That leads us to tonight's tiny list. Within the list of a list. This is the tiny list. This is a list of only one song. This is the song that interrupted for one week. This is a song, and this is the most insane thing I've ever seen in my entire life. This is a song called Stars on 45. Now, in the dance club, they would take songs, they would string them together and put a backbeat.

[80:00]But they would do the real songs. A Dutch group. A Dutch group decided to remake this. Rob, what are your thoughts on the backbeat? Hey. To me? Yeah. Any beat's a good beat? I'll take, listen, at this point, I'm on my backbeat. She's like, okay. Four years ago. God, it feels like four years ago already. It was the last election. You know what, Russell? There's two things I loved. The Olympics in Paris at 69 and my wife. Now, four years ago.

[80:32]Four years ago. Stars on 45. Oh, Paris was only a year ago. This is a medley. This is, listen to this. Four years ago, Olympics was Tokyo, but they happened in 2021. I know this song. This is a Dutch group making a medley of hit songs with a backbeat. Oh, I mean, I kind of like this. This was number one. In 1981, this was number one. Honey, honey. I mean, I could see this being huge on the radios. Just wait, wait till you see who they sample next.

[81:02]Oh, this is like girl talk. It's like really, really, you know. Stars on 45. We'll look it up sometime. This is going on my playlist. Russell, you can't. It's going to make you insane. Wait for the next song. Ready? I'm going to fast forward this fucker pretty soon if it doesn't change. It's also a bunch of Beatles songs with a backbeat.

[81:30]It's the craziest thing. Here, I'm just going to go toward the end. Listen to us toward the end. What is this? It's the same beat the whole time. And it's the number one song in the country at the time. Now, Aaron, guess what? No one's turned this off back then. I'm telling you, back then, I could have been a billionaire. Just any dumb idea makes a ton of money. Aaron, that's going to take us out of our mini list. I can't. I'm so confused. Did we die in there? No. Somebody's got to get back in and wake us up.

[82:02]Get a room. Wait, where is this from? That's like 1981. If you think about it, like, 81, you don't have a Winamp player to just track song after song. You have no way to track songs. You've got to use vinyl. And so that mix-up is like tracking songs. There's eight tracks. You're calling the radio station and requesting that song over Betty Davis' eyes. Get fucked. What are you talking about? It's five songs in one. It's like cruising through your favorite Winamp hits. We now have to hop out of that mini list. Back to Betty Davis' eyes? No.

[82:30]Now, we're going back. Back to that jazz album that had just the two of us. Well, it turns out, guess what, Russell? What's that? It wins the Grammy in 1981. Guess what? Guess what songs it beats? A bunch of terrible songs. We're back into another list. About just the two of us and the songs that it beat for the 1981 Grammy Award for Best R&B Song, which it won. These are some of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life.

[83:00]You know who else was singing this song the same year? Who? Who was that? Leigh-Anne Rimes. Don't get us started. Oh, sorry. The other song nominated for the 1981 Best R&B Song of the Year, I Know Corrida. This is Quincy Jones. Now we're doing R&B songs. This is the ones that just the two of us beat for the Grammy, Russell. Pay attention. We're back in the main list here. Quincy Jones is her beat of Hancock, buddy. The title of this song is based on the Japanese title of the erotic film in the realm of senses.

[83:34]Oh, you are serious. There's going to be a similar Japanese erotica. Now, I'm going to give you a little synopsis of the film. I'm going to have to have this played during my Japanese whiskey tasting tomorrow. You're right. You've got to. Russell, in 1936, Sada Abe is a former prostitute and now works at a maiden hotel. Oh, yeah. Okay. Their mutual obsession escalates until Ishida finds that he is most excited by strangling him during lovemaking, and he is killed in this fashion. Sada then severs her penis when she is shown next to him naked.

[84:00]It's mentioned she will walk around with his organ for four days. No more sex. No more sex. Severing anything. Moving along. Okay, so that's what, anyway, that's what this song is named after. Just to say, to remind you. Next up, another song that got beat by Bill Withers, Just the Two of Us, Lady, You Bring Me Up by the Commodores. I love the Commodores. I got to show you the video of this. I have to show you the video of this. This is the Commodores, and they are playing soccer against a six-person team of all scantily clad women. It's one of the greatest pieces of art that's probably ever existed.

[84:31]I assume it's in the Smithsonian. A reminder to those of you. To those of you who tuned in for the Herbie Hancock episode, this is Herbie Hancock, Headhunters. No. Wait, where's the? Wait, this is another best-selling jazz album that won a Grammy, and these are the songs that keep up. Our listeners do need to check this out. When are the scantily clad women going? Like, the men are as scantily clad as the women in this video. Look at that. Huh? You would wear that for soccer? It's like Utah Jazz. It's like, we're wearing Jeff Hortons-like shorts. Hey. Lionel Richie's wearing the same length shorts as all the ladies on the soccer team.

[85:00]Yeah. I mean, look at this. There's a... Matt, now, what did you think of that referee? There was a referee in the video. Not dressed like a soccer referee. He was a football referee. Interesting caller. Interesting call. And what did you think of his hand motions on that call? Next. Missed it. Next up, Carl Carlton. Also beat. Now, this song is called She's a Bad Mamma Jamma. Parentheses. Okay. She's built. She's stacked. Fresh Prince of Bel- It's parentheses. She's built. She's stacked. This song kicks ass. Yeah, it's a good one. This is the only good song that's just...

[85:30]She can't be. Uh, uh, uh. She's a bad mamma. I like this one. Then... It's got that fat bass line that we're going to hear on the Herbie Hancock record, too. Next up, the final song that it beat for the Grammy for 1981 Best R&B. The Four Tops. Coming in in the 80s with a top 40 hit, She Was My Girl. I got to fast forward a little bit. This makes them one of the few acts to have a top 40 single in three consecutive decades.

[86:03]But the song is not great. Again, this is the song that beat it. Just the two of us. And you might be thinking, this is one of the most beautiful versions of the song I've ever heard. But let me ask you this, Aaron. What if there was a version of the song that was just an amateur saxophone player playing it and then taping herself on YouTube? Oh, that would be better, you say? Well, that's great because guess what? We've got Karen Beck.

[86:32]Yeah. Yeah. Oh. With the world's brightest light shining on her face. Playing just the two of us. Yeah, it's spelled like that, Karen. So, Russell, when it comes to playing a cover of the 1981 Grammy winning for Best R&B Song, but you're playing it on a saxophone, who did it better? Jim Hortosack did it better. God damn it. God damn it. Karen. Oh, sorry. Keep me up again. Okay.

[87:00]Who did it better, Russell? Karen. Karen. Karen. That's... Did it better. Did it better. Very rarely do you see somebody playing the saxophone and they just zoom in on the reed like this. There's no... Uh-oh. Hey, put the headphones on her. Russell, start singing. Let's go. Let's see if she thinks Russell could do it. No, this is... No. So, anyway. I'm getting a no on that one. That's going to get us into the actual album. Let's start off. And I'll just tell you, the needle drop on this, Aaron, your list of best needle drop songs...

[87:33]Should have had this. ...is wrong, because it should have had this shit on it. This fucking shit. When I turned this on, I was like, this album kicks ass. What the fuck? This album, I put it on. I could not stop tapping my feet. I could not stop bopping my head. I know what you're talking about. We have heard this song before. Really? When's that, Russell? I believe we heard it on Inner Visions.

[88:01]We did a list of the best... Fender Rhodes songs, and this was on the list. Like it? The other songs from that were The Doors, Riders of the Storm, Bill Withers, Lovely Day, The Beatles, Get Back, and Ray Charles, Shake Your Tail Feather. Oof. Oh, that was such a good... That was a good list, Russell. I remember that list. That was a good one. Now, this is an ARP Odyssey synth. Yep. And, of course, chameleons, Aaron, have a long tongue. How would you rate your tongue?

[88:30]One through ten. Ten. What else am I supposed to say? Here's my thing, Aaron. I think I'm losing some taste. I don't think I taste things as well as I did. I'm going to give my tongue right now a four out of ten. I think I have a suit of delts, right? Aaron, you're going to give your tongue a ten? You think you have a perfect tongue? Why wouldn't I say that? No, it's probably like a seven. Like, I couldn't do, like, blind taste of, like... What if it was a martial arts belt? It would be a brown.

[89:00]Wow. Oof. That's my resume of my favorite flavor of dude wipes. But, Rob, how would you rate yours at making the blah sound? Russell, you've got a refined palate, but what about that tongue? I don't know about that. I can roll the tongue. Like, I've got that skill. Yeah, you've got that one. Nice. We're all rolling our tongues. I can do the clover thing. Hey, to me, tongues, the worst on Oregon Trail. They're always breaking.

[89:30]Now, at 440. He switches to a clavinet and a Rhodes. Oh, man. Keys in the... Oof. Yeah. This fucking album rips ass. Now, Aaron, I told you that I looked this up, and I could not believe this song was 4-4. Yeah. But that's a 4-4. It's very... It's simple. It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. Yeah, it's very simple 4-4 meter.

[90:00]But there's a lot of syncopation going on. With what the drummer's doing. It's crazy. It's a strong one. It's like, that's the funk. It's strong on the one every time. It's very, like, the structure is simple. But there's a lot happening in between, which is fun. I was listening to this with my kid in the room, and I would audibly say to her, listen to this. Like, listen, seven minutes in, horns come in. Listen to this part of the song. It whips. Yeah. And that's playing like some four against three, maybe.

[90:31]Yeah. Some weird syncopated stuff. But here's what I want you to think of when you listen to this song. How big is the room they're playing in? Because to me, it turns into a different size room sometimes. When you start, you feel like you're in this tiny little room. All of a sudden, the horns come in. You feel like you're more in, like, a theater almost. And I didn't realize this. I did do the tiniest funneries here. So this album was recorded in San Francisco. It's really fun. There's some other people from San Francisco. I think Harvey Mason, he might have been an Oakland guy.

[91:01]I think he's the drummer. I think he's the drummer on this. Is that right, Aaron? I think that sounds right, yeah. So he's actually credited on a different album. Wow. The album that he's credited on is The Information. And one of the songs on The Information is by Beck. This is a Beck album. Cell phone's dead. Check this out. Wow. Oh, that's nice. So I don't know if it's a sample. Beck actually credits the drummer, Harvey Mason, on this.

[91:31]So, but... Definitely a heavy influence from Herbie Hancock there. This sounds just like Herbie Hancock. So when it comes to sampling, or I don't know what the right word is, if it's sampling or they're redoing it, but either way, when it comes to being inspired by Herbie Hancock, who did it better? Beck did it better. Wow, Russell, so good. God, Beck really does apply to every single artist, even if it's just Karen Beck, famous saxophone player. And then at 1230, listen to this at the end of the song, Russell. Of course, at 12, this is at like a...

[92:02]15-minute song. But listen to this now. Now it goes crazy, and then it strips down. Right back in the pocket. But a faster tempo at the end. Kind of fun, kind of a fun way to end. Next up, "Watermelon Man." I mean, you listen to this song where they're playing the beer bottles. Bill Summers is playing a beer bottle. This sounds just like the movie "Predator 2." If you watch the movie "Predator 2," where you're like, "Oh, Arnold's in this." And then you're like, "Wait, no, it's Danny Glover."

[92:31]Honestly, this sounds a little bit to me. I don't know if any of you guys watch... "White Lotus." "White Lotus." This sounds like the "White Lotus" music. Oh, yeah, that's true. I think a lot more people are going to relate to the music from "Predator 2." Season three, "White Lotus"? Actually, Rob, while you have it up, I don't know if we'll find it, but the song "Hot Wax" by Beck, I believe, also features blowing into beer bottles. So we're going to hit play on that. I don't know where it is in the song, so I'm not going to listen to the whole thing, but... I'm just going to go to the highest.

[93:01]Viewed part, because I assume that's the beer bottle. So somewhere in here, Beck's played the beer bottles as well. So when it comes to being inspired by Herbie Hancock again, by blowing in the beer bottles like Aaron was doing earlier, who did it better? - Beck did it better. - Wasn't me. - Guys, I'm sorry. I have to interrupt because when Russell was talking about where the band members are from, I realized I don't know where Herbie Hancock is from. So I had to look it up. Chicago. Also, he graduated from Grinnell College in Grinnell, Iowa.

[93:31]And I didn't know that until this moment. And I'm ashamed. - Hey, best thing about Grinnell College, Aaron, these are the dudes who just shot all three pointers for a few years. - That's right. - Wow. - Years ago. - That was my one and only... - The guy scored like 110 points. - Yeah. It was also my one and only recruiting trip in college. I took, I was recruited to Grinnell College and took an overnight where I stayed with some football players. - Was it like that... - I get it, Rob. - That Ray Allen, the Ray Allen recruiting trip and he got game?

[94:00]Was there like multiple... - Not at all. - Like that? - No. - Multiple busts. - I think what happened was either my dad or my grandpa called them and said, "Hey, this guy plays football and is in the choir. You might want to see if he would come to your college." And I did get in. I'm proud of that. I got accepted. - Nice job. - But I chose not to go. And I didn't know until this moment that Herbie Hancock graduated from Grinnell College. - Wow. - Huge endowment. Huge endowment down there. - Yep. - Matt, we also talked, I think a few weeks ago, we were talking about how Devo was going to be...

[94:30]I believe Herbie Hancock is playing at the Orpheum in like two weeks. - Yeah, you got to go. Because he's not playing the West Coast much at all. - Yeah, I'm out of town. I can't make that one, Russell. - Uh-oh. Uh-oh, Russell. I'm not going back on Ticketmaster. There's a whole part we cut out earlier where I was just scrolling around Ticketmaster. These guys were pissed, Aaron, because I wasn't a savant at Ticketmaster. - Aaron, Rob scrolling at Ticketmaster is just an atrocity. - I could not take what these guys were doing. They were making me go all over these seats. It was crazy. At 145 in Watermelon Man, we get this Clavinet

[95:00]playing. - I have to say, I said it already, like this sounds like K-Fan music to me, and like I still love the album, but like K-Fan kind of ruined this kind of for me. - 100%. - It feels like PA should be coming out right now. - You could, it's coming in at 12:30. - Right? - Oh, the Vikings special teams. - That's right. - Easiest fucking job in the world, by the way, sports guy. Just talk about the same shit. Oh, the pole ads are cheap. I mean, it's just, and then you just go crazy like once

[95:30]every two weeks. You're set. - Yeah. - At 3:15 in the zone. - Sheryl Reeve had every right to yell at that referee, guys. - Listen to this horn coming in. - I mean, one for Benny Maupin. He is, the second time we've heard him, he's also on Bitches Brew. He is a baller of a multi-instrumentalist. - Now, Russell, do you think there's a chance that Benny Maupin is simply Bernie Taupin as another person who plays the saxophone? This is a fake identity. This is a nom de plume. Oh, that's right, Aaron.

[96:00]Nom de plume is. I think that living shit. - I mean, that's great. - It would make sense. And then finally, kind of break down the song, going back to the African beats with the beer bottles at the end. - Do you have, Rob, were you planning to play the first recording of this? 'Cause this is fun that this is, you know, this is one of his original tunes that he reworked. - What are you talking, oh, this got up to 55 on the Billboard Hot Chart. - I mean, but this- - Which is crazy. - This is a song that he recorded- - Over, over.

[96:30]- How did this get up there over "Chameleon"? "Chameleon" is a better song. Sorry, Aaron, what were you saying? - I was just saying that he recorded this song early in his career, and it's fun to hear the two 'cause they're about 12 years apart. - Original. God, Aaron, you know what I want to listen to, actually. "Watermelon Man," here we go, 2007? - That seems unlikely, more like 1960. - Oh, it's remastered. - Two-ish. - Oh yeah, this is more of his bebop. - Right. - I love this, Aaron. - It's fun, right? - It's fun.

[97:00]- It's fun to hear how he took it apart and put it back together. - It's so good. Now, Russell, lookit, there's a picture of Herbie Hancock in concert. He is playing a keytar. Does that change your mind, going to see a guy play a keytar? - I think I want to go see him. - If you were going to smash a robot honky-tonk man over the head, you would definitely use a keytar. That's, I mean, it's the only one that makes sense to me. Next up, Sly. Listen to this funk riff coming in. - Ooh, yeah. - Do you guys know anybody? I work with somebody who I find incredibly sly. They're very smart, I think they're very funny,

[97:33]but they don't have any big reaction. They're always like, "Ooh." And I'm like, "Oh, you're kind of sly." Do you guys know anybody who's sly? - I think Barry. - That's the first name that came to my mind. - First name came to my mind. He's a top, he's a sly guy, you're right. - He talks people into doing things, and then he is out of there before anybody gets in any strays, he's out of there. - Famously known as El Vos, the voice. - Yes, right. - And the wives are looking for something to blame.

[98:02]- It could be anyone. - Barry, definitely Barry. - Has Barry from Birdsville ever talked you into anything, Rob? - No. - No? - No. - No. - Well, I mean, yeah, a lot of stuff that I got blamed for, I think he actually said. I mean, he'd be like, "Well, don't you hate pants?" I mean, that's, of course, his classic line, "Don't you hate pants?" You know who he really could influence, Russell, like crazy? Was Jenny. He would get Jenny going. I remember, oh my God. He could get her going, and she could not help herself.

[98:31]It was like, you know, when they do those- - She got her pants off so fast, it was not even funny. - Oh no. - Four years ago. Now, listen, this is Bernie Maupin again on Saks. Wink. - Holy cow. - Benny Maupin. - Could you imagine Andrew McCarthy, like jerking Bernie around on that weekend, Rob, to this? - Yeah.

[99:00]- That's a good tune. - Bernie wants to go to the peep show. - Bernie, you wanna go to the peep show? You're talking about yourself in the third person? - I just don't wanna live in a world where this could be the last time we ever do a weekend at Bernie's Pit on the podcast. - No, it won't be, Russell. - We gotta keep it going. - There's gotta be more Bernie artists coming up, for sure. - I don't know. - This, now we have Herbie come back in with a solo. Listen to this. I mean, it's so fun.

[99:34]It's like, it's, it's like robotic at one time, but at the same time, like it's jazz, but it's like jazz from the fucking future. - And they're just able to, to marry math and soul, right? It's very nerdy. It's very subdivided. It's very precise, but it's fun as shit. Like they do, you know? I mean, you can hear, when you know it's Sly