Joni Mitchell: The Hissing of Summer Lawns (1975)
[0:00]Just to let everybody know i have changed our zoom view to immersive view where it looks like we're sitting in a theater the four of us next to each other russell you're too low get up here a little bit all right so i'm too look what we're doing to this immersive view rob i do like how this view doesn't show the background it's a little more erotic for me that you guys can't see wow what's going on in the background that's true what's going on with your voice guess what's going on there could be anything i will say it does look like it's weird though because we're in a movie theater in the zoom and yet the movie theater is behind us somehow so somehow we're facing away From the screen it's like if people walked into a theater we just look at them like hey you're here to see jurassic park new world not us we bought the cheapest tickets we didn't realize they face backwards my bad in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums is decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back i just realized i was at
[1:00]A party where there were mushrooms i didn't take any oh what was i thinking i know you're an idiot i didn't even think about it i could have one mushrooms and any mushroom you would take that party is a mushroom that a kid couldn't take so really you're saving the kids if you're sitting by the door i should have taken them on the way okay they're like sitting they're like just sitting out on a platter for people to take or not they were in a little baggy like edibles so it's just like a little bag of mushrooms and they're like oh my god i don't know what to do i could not go to someone's house and be like oh i'm gonna open up the little ziploc bag No it was like labeled and it was like labeled and everything like you know greenies or whatever the hell they call it what are you doing that i don't know it just occurred to me russell you could wait another half hour right aaron's got to go back he's got to walk back yeah exactly i was just trying i was focused on getting in and out of there i was delivering my gift and coming home you would have to i would to not have taken the mushroom free mushroom this continues our run
[2:00]Of five female artists in a row or as aaron calls it ladies night yeah talking ladies you know what i have a quick question for you rob yes so it was probably a couple months ago and the upstairs room he was going out with some of her friends and i was like happy for she's going out gonna have a fun night so one night i was in the Kitchen and she came walking and i started blasting that song ladies night i was like getting her in the mood so go out and have some fun then i realized wait is ladies night like it's a male singer so is it a ladies night like ladies are getting out going out and have fun or is it like guys are going out to like intrude on ladies night now i'm confused about what the point of the ladies night song like what whose perspective is it from okay it's ladies night it's ladies night oh what a night and the feeling's right girls
[3:00]Girls you got the one a night that's special everywhere from new york to hollywood it's ladies night and girl the feeling's good romantic lady single baby sophisticated mama come here you disco ladies stay with me tonight yep it is from a men's point of view so it should not be played as like a a women's anthem yeah it is it's like a a women's anthem yeah it is like a creepy song yes it is cool and possibly the gang Are going out to bars on ladies night and trying to hang out with ladies and wanting them to stay with them russell you've solved the mystery russell's like a perverted song detective he's figuring these things out the sherlock holmes of perverted songs oh that's for sure pretty perverted from 1975. If you do this if you lick your finger and hold it up in the wind you'll know which way the song is going you don't just no you don't just lick one side russell you lick all the sides because then you can feel which side gets cold oh it's okay oh russell is holding his licked
[4:00]Finger up to the camera so just to let everybody know we should just let everybody know aaron was just at a party and he was talking about how many deviled eggs he ate russell sent us a text about five hours ago it's saying i am very drunk basically i am not i might not be able to make the podcast recording i said there's a 49 chance i was gonna be passed out and if i didn't make it you guys should proceed without me wow so man and i show up and we're like what are we doing like What are we doing with our lives that we're just hanging out we're not babysitting the kids this weekend so i gotta he's gonna be around he's a real hero he's teaching the children am i the loser of the podcast oh my god i can't handle that also i have one other comment aaron with his white beard looks like a professional baseball manager that's like a shitty manager but he's like got the cool beard so he doesn't like him you know what i'm saying yeah he does he looks like a guy it's
[5:00]Like it's fully white isn't it yeah it's a great looking beard it's like oh i remember when that guy played he was pretty good but boy is he a shitty manager man name something a shitty manager would do not but no okay we're not doing this again 12th inning for me it's going to From 1975, we have the hissing. You finally tagged Yamamoto with Bledito and you just give him an out? Don't you think he wanted you to give him an out? I am editing out the baseball content this time, I swear to God. Yeah, because it really worked well last time when you edited it out. Good call. From 1975, we have the hissing of summer lawns, which is not what Aaron's neighbors heard when he was staying in the garage for that while. Oh, I like it. Oh. Yeah, they heard and I don't have a joke here, but I'm going to put it in later. It just says, insert French drain joke here. Insert French drain joke. And what I mean by that is that Aaron inserted himself in his French drain and I have to make a joke about that. That's what the neighbors heard. Just me? I love pumping my
[6:00]French drain. Honey, he's out pumping the French drain again. All you got to do is put in somebody peeing at a urinal for a minute and a half. That's Aaron at the French drain. That reminds me of that time when I was at that bachelor party and I was peeing outside the porch of this Airbnb. We ended up sleeping at and I hear, oh gross. I realized it's a it's a bunch of porches right in a row and I was peeing off the porch and the guy next to me was on his porch having his morning coffee And I've always thought about that. I'm like, what a bummer. Just imagine tomorrow you wake up, you go out and you're like, ah, I'm to enjoy my morning coffee in the woods of northern Minnesota and then just a random 300 pound stranger next to you is just peeing and it's the yellowest stinkiest pee because he is not at any water the last three days. I think he's staying at a campsite for God's sake. Rob, this goes out to the upstairs route or the not the complimentary movie guys when we grew up. Oh yeah, when we grew up there was this kid named Dane and he was kind of one of the like, I don't know
[7:00]If you'd call him like a rebel like the kid who would always get in trouble type of thing and he was known for my next door neighbor. My next door neighbor growing up is one of the complimentary movie guys and this guy Dane once came over and peed on his porch like he peed on on the porch yes, and so we've always known that guy. We're not friends with him anymore but we always call him Dane peed the porch like that was his last name Dane peed the port but it wasn't peed on the porch was Dane peed the porch. Why? How did he get Caught? Because this is pre-ring camera No, I think it was like we were sitting everyone was like playing football outside he was like standing up on the porch peeing on the porch. What? Dane peed the porch. I'd steer clear Dane if I were you. That's my advice to you. Rob, it's Dane peed the porch. Okay, I read again. I would stay clear of Dane peed the porch. Yes. When it comes to peeing on the porch. Who did it better? I got my brand new car today. I couldn't decide what to get but at least I got this Porsche.
[8:00]At least I know. No, wait a minute. Listen, imagine being the guy where there's there's at least like six people in the world that's what they think of you as. This is the guy who peed the porch. They just remember you're Dane peed the porch. I've got three guys here who are ready to talk. Joni Mitchell. Okay. And Joni with an eye, by the way, I was trying to Google search this stuff is almost impossible to find. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, this year in Vegas Take me to King's Corner for the dance. Do you want to dance? Wow. I've got Matt Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good, Rob. I just want you to know life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Wow. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron was talking to me, but I said this, not Aaron. Let's be very clear. This is what you know. It's gonna be really bad, but I don't want to attribute it to Aaron. I was telling Aaron that my wife and I have been trying this
[9:00]New sex position for a little bit. Yeah, I call it the bicycle. Okay. She's too tired. All right. Let's get to the voicemail. Oh, I forgot. Oh, yeah, you get a quote. Yeah, go ahead. I was just wondering if in France they kiss on Main Street. French where they kiss. How do they kiss like on French Street? I don't know. There's something there. I played it again because I think it's so funny. All right, here we go. Oh, God. Now the volume's down. Aaron, you screwed me up. What? Let's start the show over. Leave me alone. Oh, no. Russell's over behind. Let's play our voicemail. Hey, guys. I just had to let you know that the other day during my long distance run that I was doing at the St. Olaf Natural Lands, I was like, oh, I'll just turn on the Back to It Better podcast. Like, what better to run to? It'll be fun. It'll be entertaining. It'll take the entire
[10:00]Time while I'm running. I gotta say right now, what is your guys' thought? He can't do it. He can't even let a whole voicemail go. He's gotta get in there. Is this a current St. Olaf student? Yes. She finally figured out how to say St. Olaf instead of St. Olaf. And I'll tell you what. Good work. This is the second person who was called and said that they listen to us when they're working out. What is your guys' thoughts of listening to Back to It Better when you're working out? It's a good time killer. You're too funny, Rob. If I'm putting anything over my head, I can't do it. That's right, Aaron. Unless you're trying to get 10 sets of ha-ha's in. This is not the podcast to listen to. Okay? If you're trying to do 10 minutes of getting your jollies, this is good. Okay? Other than that, no good. Russell, you listening to this and going for a run? I could say, I would say more of going for like a walk. Yeah. Let's do it in the morning, go for a walk. Walk is good. Walk is more our speed. Running. And I turned on the Pink Floyd Piper at the Gates, whatever.
[11:00]I love Pink Floyd, but that is not my favorite album. I agree with everything you guys said. But I turned it on, and I was like, okay, this is going to be awesome. And I'm going through my run, and then I get to like that part in the run where I'm just like, I'm kind of dying. My stomach hurts a little bit. I kind of feel like I could puke. It was a tough run. And then you guys start talking about food poisoning. It was awful. It was so bad. I was actively trying to not puke. That was rough. And you guys are talking about diarrhea and cramping and bad food. Hashtag United States. It was really bad. So I just had to share. Just like, don't go on a run and listen to Beck Did It Better Ever. You never know. It could be about food poisoning. But that seems like it took her mind off the run. To me, part of great running content is something that will take your mind. It puts your mind on something else to where that next half mile
[12:00]Is just done, and you didn't even realize you were struggling. You're thinking about something else. But I don't think us talking about a guy reaching into the backseat of his car as he's driving home to eat more Famous Dave's and then getting violently ill almost immediately is going to help take your mind off the pain of running. I think it's just going to make it worse. You know what I mean? Rob, did you see the hashtag? The entire Cal women's field hockey team got food poisoning from an old spaghetti factory in North Carolina and missed the ACC Tournament. They had to start their four string goalkeeper. I don't. It just happened this week, like the entire team got food poisoning from old spaghetti factory. Oh, my God. Raleigh, Durham or wherever. Can you imagine Durham? And I'll tell you what barfing of spaghetti noodles, one of the worst things you can barf up because they just keep coming. They're so long. You're like, oh, I thought it was funny when I was sucking these down before. It's not funny now when I got to pull these things out of my mouth like a tape. Also, can we just talk for one moment?
[13:00]So this person is a I'm assuming this is an 18 to 20 something year old lady. No idea who goes for long runs, listens to this podcast and also just tosses out like, oh, I like Pink Floyd, but that's not my favorite album. This is a one of one. Person like, I don't know what the hell demographic is this? This is a Venn diagram. Yeah, this might be our new super fan. For sure. I mean, this is bananas. Have you guys is this not this? Somebody is not related to you, Rob? Oh, no, they're related to you. Yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah. OK, all right. Absolutely. OK, that makes sense. Yeah, that's why. Excuse me, somebody going for a long distance run around St. Olaf. Obviously, they're related to me. Rob, what is the longest run you did at St. Olaf? Oh, it's time to say. It's at St. Olaf. Yeah, it's time for. I think when Jenny and I were first here, it was adorable. I know I legitimately got out. I got to get back. I've never done a lot of running in my life either. Like, I don't think I ever ran at St. Olaf. No way. Like on an intramural, maybe.
[14:00]But I don't ever like went for a run. If it was like nine o'clock, nine o'clock, that was embarrassing for all you try to do your long distance run and listen to this episode right now. Hey, enjoy this. Nine o'clock. Nine o'clock, bitch, it's a clock. If I knew if it was nine o'clock and I knew my roommate came back from class at ten thirty, I'd be like, oh, I got to sprint home. I only have forty five minutes to jerk it. I don't have time to stop at the pause. Yeah, well, wait, do you drink at the bus? You get chicken figures first. Rosie, Roland, go on. How's it going with you? I thought it was I was more of a grilled cheese guy at the pause. If I remember right. Oh, that's good. Oh, great. I mean, they made it. They made grilled cheese. No, it wasn't the pause. It was the other spot. Oh, the lion's den. Russell's thinking of the lion's den. The big thick slices. So just to let you know, in our student center, we had a restaurant upstairs called the Lion's Den that you could use. We got money our senior year where it's just an account.
[15:00]Credits, if you will. Yeah. Do you think Rob blew through these credits almost immediately or did I save them and use them throughout the year and I was rewarded at the end of the year? Yeah, no, the correct answer is I blew them all. And it was actually the right move because so many people at the end had so much money, they were still buying me chicken fingers. Hey, Rob, can you repeat that again? I'm going to repeat that. What did you do, Rob? Rob, I'm going to hit record on something. What did you do with those credits? I used them. No, you blew them all, you said. Oh, I blew them all. Okay, all right. We're good. One more time. Yeah, we need that sound clip. You know what, Russell? I've decided this. Hold on. We all can't be talking. We need Rob. Just Rob with all the distractions in the background. I would be terrible at giving blowjobs. No. There's no way. I have one of the weakest mouths. No, what do you mean? Like, if a milkshake gets too thick. Forget about it. Scooping it. I think that sound clip is going to work great on like the Boyz II Men episode or something. BBC DDD. Man, look up when Seal's coming. East Coast Bad Boyz. Aaron, rolling on. How's it going with you?
[16:00]Ah, shit, guys. It could be going better. I mean, we've talked a little bit about how my day has gone already. I went to a party tonight for my friend, Andrew, and did not partake in the mushrooms that were there. I did get into some deviled eggs. Which were delicious. Nah, you're not being serious. I'm being serious. I ate the deviled eggs. You're not being serious. They had one with bacon on top and one with smoked salmon on top. Oh, fancy deviled eggs. All of a sudden, everybody thinks it's a good idea. Actually, Aaron and I are both team deviled eggs. Aaron, how old is this person that is having a birthday party? Is it a birthday party? Yeah, he's a man about town. He's 42, 43. They throw parties for everything. Like, there's always, like, his wife throws him a birthday party every year, a bunch of people show up. It's loud as fuck in there. It's too hot. A couple that leaves mushrooms in a baggie at a party does sound like a couple that throws quite a few parties. Like, it sounds like they know what they're doing on the party. But it was branded. It was like, it looked like a bag of edibles that you would get from a dispensary.
[17:00]It had the label on it and everything. Not just in a baggie. Oh, I'd be macro dosing. Aaron, was there any people at this party that knew about the podcast? Like, was there listeners there? Great question. Several of them, yes. No, no listeners. Many people that I've told about the podcast, and then they say, like, oh, yeah, you told me about that podcast thing. Never once ask you the name. That happened to me again. Once again, I brought up the podcast, and they did not ask a name. And I'm like, why do I keep doing this? It's devastating. I went out to a show on Thursday with a guy in the neighborhood. And we were chatting up beforehand. And I was telling, like I tell you guys, like, I go out too much. I have too many different-- because I have all these different friend groups. And I said, and I also like to make time to see my buddies from my podcast. He's like, oh, yeah, remind me what the name of that thing is. Go ahead, Matt. Wow, he asked the name? Did he do the Russell method? Write it down, and then throw it away immediately. I got to add, maybe this is the way my brain thinks. And so I apologize. But 42, 43 are older adults.
[18:00]I'm putting them in the older category. They're not young adults anymore. They're getting middle aged to older. Love having parties. Love having the heat turned up at their parties. I love where this is going. You're wondering where the socks went? It's got to lead to something a little later on, right? Yeah, I've never stayed-- no, actually, no. I had-- I did stay-- I did once stay till the end of a party there. You did? Yeah. Did it turn into an RG? No. Oh. Thanks for killing-- No, it was-- I went to hear a mayoral candidate talk. No, they also have-- Oh, no. And then I stayed too late. A mayoral candidate? Yeah, he didn't win. But they went to-- they had him come talk at the house. I don't-- Aaron, I don't think anyone in the-- there's no mayoral candidate in the history of the world that's just gone to a party and then won an election. No. Yeah, perhaps not. Yeah. I'll tell you what. If I was at an RG, and they were like, wait a minute. We've got to take a quick pause.
[19:00]We're going to listen to this mayoral candidate, I'd be like-- Well, see some fancy name, like the make it a great day party kind of a thing. Like there's always like the 17 people that-- Four, it's seven years ago. The rent is too damn high. It's a nice party. Rob, I used that line tonight, because I was talking to someone whose husband runs a brewery, and she was saying she went to the grocery store and was like, the beers are too expensive. I was like, I know, the rent is too damn high. And they are, it's like five bucks a can. Wow. Aaron, are you the only guy at the party That's like a corporate America guy or not? Like that works in like big business or-- No, like in my neighborhood, it's like a bunch of people who like work at Databricks and stuff like that. So no, it's very-- it's very like-- Or it's like some guy who's like, oh, well, yeah, I'm not working right now, but like it's fine. I might start a company or whatever. Like, it's weird out here. It's a lot of that stuff. But no, I'm very-- I definitely like have the most boring job. And in fact, I try not to talk about my job. I think a guy asked me tonight, like, what do you do for work?
[20:00]And I was like, I got to run away. I'm out. Like, I got to find-- I got to find the people. It's the worst thing. That's the-- we've said it 17,000 times in this podcast. Don't ask people what they-- if you're at a party, do not ask somebody what they do for a living. Tell you what, I told you I was at Gay Hibachi the other day. I was sitting next to a guy, didn't know him at all. I said, hey, you look like you like to travel. You got any travel plans? He goes, yeah, I haven't had sex in two states, Alaska and Minnesota. And I'm going to Alaska next month. He said-- and I was like, oh, why are you going-- I said, oh, why are you going up to Alaska? He goes, to have sex with somebody. I was like, whoa, you're like committed. And then he pulled out an app where he had marked every place where he had sex. He goes, oh, this is Italy. And he had it down to like, I don't know what villages or whatever. I don't know what the unit is in Italy. He's got a cabin on a lake, and he's got a pontoon. So just come on up in the summer and-- Oh, lay the pipe. He wasn't-- you know what? He saw me try to catch the shrimp in my mouth. And he was like, no, I don't need to come to Minnesota. Don't worry about it. Rob, how long would it take a gay man to get laid at your cabin?
[21:00]Like a week? Or could he do it in like a week? No, he-- this guy-- because I said-- I don't mean by you. If he was like, I'm going to go have sex around his cabin. Excuse me, by me? I mean, you would need to be seduced. I know. You would need to be seduced. Yeah, I would need to be-- oh, can you rub my shoulders? OK. Grab your balls. Time to grab your balls, or however it starts. I don't know. The tough thing about him trying to seduce Rob at Rob's cabin is sometimes Rob does disappear when you're at his cabin for like five hours to quote, unquote, like, roast a beef or something whenever he's doing it over there. I was smoking polo backwards. Roast a beef. Listen. Sorry, guys. I'm going to go roast this beef. I said the same ignorant thing, Aaron, where I was like, well, how do you find guys to sleep with so fast? And he looked at me like I was. Dumbest fucking human being in the world. And he goes, apps. And I go, oh, yeah, that's right. You guys are just fucking on these apps. I was like, goddamn, I'm old. I totally forgot about that. Just dogs. All right, Aaron, go ahead. Keep going. I don't know. I coached soccer today, and I could have done better.
[22:00]It was the U9 rec soccer tournament, and I-- This means Aaron-- I know Aaron so well to know that this means he got overcompetitive, probably yelled at some kids, like, for something that they didn't deserve to be yelled at. Like, I can see through Aaron's soul, like you guys can. I can see it. But my thing is not getting overcompetitive, because we're in the rec league, and we already are not great. But-- OK, I'm turning off the Shakira video, because, oh, now we're Looking at the podcast stats. To go from Shakira to the podcast stats is one of the most jarring things I've ever had in my life. That is midnight to 6:00. But no, my thing is, like, this shit is religion to me. Like, I went to the grocery store yesterday to pick up oranges, bananas, dried fruit. Last night, I stayed up making quesadillas. You're putting too much into it. And I'm sending messages to the team. And then today, I'm telling the boys, like, if you live to be 100, like, you're not going to have this day again ever in your life.
[23:00]And then, like, eight minutes into the first half, my son-- like, I turn around, and there's a kid crying on the bench, and it's because Wallace pinched him too hard. And I was just like, what is going on? Yep, you're expecting the Ronnie Lodge. I did not cut off my finger crew. And I was like, you guys, like, you got to look around. Like, this weekend is about being there for your team and each other. You got to pick each other up if you're down. And one kid goes, oh, I'm legitimately moved. I was like, come on, Nico. Like, don't do me like that. Brutal. Kids can be so brutal. And Aaron, I'll tell you what, you cannot-- this is coming from a teacher. Kids do not have the same brains that we do. They do not have the same brains. They do not think the same way. For you to say to them-- to them like, hey, this is going to be a great-- that is an old guy thing to say. Like, this is a great day in your life. They're like, no, it's not. Look at me, I'm an old guy. No, it's not. Yeah, they're like, I got so many more days than you. You know what I mean? Like, I walked into a room the other day what a kid said to me? What's going on with your hair? That's brutal.
[24:00]Fair question. Yeah, it is a fair question. It's right. My growing out my beard to just look crazy is not working. And legit, Aaron, I guarantee, let's just say there's 10 kids. Just for simple math, nine of them, this is about the last thing on their list that they want to be doing today is playing soccer, kind of a thing they're not bad, but like, if you had to say-- They play video games, yeah. Yeah, let's add the top three things we want to do today. Going to play soccer is not going to be it. Can I tell you something that's helped me with my teaching, Aaron, because you can imagine, what you experienced today-- Yeah, GPT. What you experienced today is what I experience. I experience that every day. Where I'm excited about something, and I tell a kid, and they look at me like, I'm an idiot. So instead, what you have to do is, instead of just trying to get them inspired, just compliment them. All you have to do is compliment the kids. You just say, hey, you did a great job out there. Hey, awesome job, I'm so proud of you, good job. Okay. Just, and of course you're not. Just do that.
[25:00]You lie all the time, but if you do that, they just-- I was proud of them today. They go away feeling good about themselves. We lost two games today, but I told them I was proud of them. But now we're in the situation where we lost two games today, and there's a third game of the game. The tournament tomorrow that's entirely inconsequential, but we have to show up and play it. Oh my God. That's where we're at. So you won't get a trophy? No trophy. Or you still get a trophy? No trophy. Were you really proud of them? Hell yeah, I was proud of them. They battled, man. Like, they were down, and they fought back. They battled. They never came up. Can we get the mic, Tice? Battling, and battling. Hey, Matt. All right, that's enough out of me. How's it rolling going with Russell? Rolling going, things are going well. Today I went to a-- Oh! --cocktail class at 1:00 PM. Oh! What is the-- First question. You're still going. What is the appropriate time for a cocktail class? 3:00 PM. 8:00 PM. They never do it by 8:00 PM, though, Matt, because they're doing them at bars, where they're not going to take up a bunch of room.
[26:00]I know, that's why I've never been to one. Russell, can I tell you a secret? Yes, sir. Last weekend, I was at a 3:00 PM cocktail class, right downtown Manhattan. I was absolutely blasted. I was blasted by 4:30. I had made like three huge drinks by 4:30. I was gone, Russell. But that doesn't seem to have happened to you. Tell us what happened. So I went to a distillery in Northeast Minneapolis. I'm going to highly recommend this spot. Earl Giles is the name of this distillery. They do monthly cocktail classes. And this one was the owner, one of the two owners of the distillery that was bartending-- Where is that at, Russell? I'm trying to find that. I don't quite know if I know where that one's at. It's in Northeast, Matt. It's on the other side of the road. It's on the other side of the river, off of one of those roads in Northeast. What does it do with North-- because Northeast kind of feels like it's west of some stuff, but it's not in the East. Broadway. Yeah. You guys cannot do Northeast directions. This is like the second week in a row where you've totally failed at Northeast directions. It's over by like Indeed Brewing, Matt, Able Brewing, Central, the Mexican restaurant somewhere over there.
[27:00]Russell's comparisons are other brewers. So this is one of these cocktail classes. So I've been to multiple types of cocktail classes. West of 35. Yep, I guess. Somewhere you-- East of the river. --make your drinks. Like, they've got a set up for you to actually pour. And somewhere you just sit and drink and have fun. This was a sit and drink and have fun. But here's a couple keys that you guys will like this. They brought out multiple rounds of food during the cocktail class. So some sort of fried chicken and salad Very early on in the cocktail. So they got food right off the bat. That sounds good. Then, Rob, they bring out about 10 pizzas. There is pizza. From like the 45-minute to the two-hour mark. So there's pizza sitting out there for an hour plus. And at one point-- That's a sign of a place that's been-- had too many very drunk guys there. They're like, we've got too many drunk guys. We need 40 pizzas. Oh, that Quincy Street. That's a great spot. Yes, Matt.
[28:00]Yeah, there's some of those old-- yeah, great spot. Kind of like a warehouse. There's the ice cream shop right by there. Yeah. Awesome spot. But so we're there. And the pizzas are there. And at one point, he was talking about cocktail. He was talking about cocktails and something about-- like sometimes the best cocktail is the simplest thing, just like a cheese pizza that made me think of you guys. Wow. Because you talked about how sometimes, Rob, as you call it, a plain pizza is the best way to go. So I was going to give you a shout out there. So what's a plain cocktail then? It's like a martini? Well, he was talking a little bit-- we got into what is an old-fashioned. So you guys, what do you think an old-fashioned is? Rob, maybe you know because you went to bartending school. I'm going to hit you with this. I'm going to say it's some sort of rye or bourbon. No brandy. No, you're incorrect. It's spirit, sweet, and bitter. That's it. And water, Aaron, which is usually ice. Ice. Wow. So there you go. So you could make a vodka old-fashioned? Yeah, he was saying it's a spirit.
[29:00]Yeah, it can be that. So he made a rum old-fashioned. It was absolutely fantastic. But so we get there. Here's a cool thing. There is already a cocktail at your spot. Wow. OK. A rum punch is very like a seasonal drink. It's in a big punch bowl and everything. Great way to start a cocktail class, right? You sit down. You don't have to listen to the guy talk for 20 minutes. There is already a drink at your spot. What do you guys think about that? I love it, Russell. I think it's a must-have when you come in. You have to have that drink right away because I'll tell you what. When you go into these classes, the people you're going in with, you're like, these guys are fucking losers. I'm never going to talk to these guys. I need a drink to talk to these people. They're absolute losers. And by the end, you are talking to them and you are having a great time. You tell them all about your podcast. Yeah. You are having a great time. That's exactly what happened to us last Saturday. We went in. They had drinks there. Now, of course, I did go to a class where I actually got to make the drinks, Russell. Yeah. I'm more of a doer. I'm more of a grower. Yeah.
[30:00]But you're right, Rob. So we get there. Sure. And this Earl Giles is a great spot. I'm going to recommend this for all of our Minneapolis listeners. It's for Brian from East St. Paul if he ever needs like a date night spot. Super fun place to go. Yeah. Indeed's right over there. Yeah. Great location. But I will also throw this out. They said they actually shut their bar down for like a week to decorate it for the holidays, do like a jingle ball type, like where the whole thing's done up. And I've heard it's amazing, so people should all go check it out. I highly recommend it. But you're right, Rob. We get there. We walk in and there's like four people sitting at a table. We say we're at the cocktail club. Hey, just wait over here. We'll bring you guys all up. And when you sit down initially, it's a quick high, but there's no chatting about what cocktail classes or what your favorite bars are, none of that stuff. But once you get up, it usually takes about the two and a half cocktail mark where everyone there is your greatest friends of all time. Right? Yeah. Two and a half. Two and a half will do it.
[31:00]Two and a half will do it. We got to hang out next weekend. Yeah. You're better friends with the people next to you than like any of your friends for the last 20 years. Right? It is true. Are you invited to a Japanese whiskey tasting? No. Aaron, we don't talk about that. Did you make any plans? What size are these original cocktails? I'm like one and a half cocktails that I've done for the day kind of a thing. So are they smaller pours or do they give you a full- Man, I've got a perfect answer for you. They are full-size cocktails. There's a reason I was almost passed out. And typically at these things, you're right, Matt. They'll do a smaller thing. This guy, he's the owner and he was clearly winging it. Usually you get to these and they've got like a menu, like a printed out menu with all the ingredients, like some of you could take home. But this Earl Giles place, they do a lot of- Glasses. I don't know what you would call it. Elixirs. Where they're constantly mixing things into premixed bottles.
[32:00]And that's a big part of what they do. People go in there and can do custom drinks where you- They'll bring you back into their room and you can kind of make your own custom elixirs, make your own drinks. They work with a lot of people creating stuff. But these are full-size cocktails. And the guy winging it, he goes, "So here's what we're going to do. We're going to do at least five cocktails." So we ended up doing seven, I believe. What? Are you fucking serious, Russell? Seven full-size drinks. How are people standing at the moment? I don't know. Seven? After seven, I'd be like, "I know I wouldn't be good at sucking dick. I just would be bad at it. Even right now, my jaw is tired. Look at my tongue. That's all I can do with it." But they did a great job. The drinks were really good. The other thing the guy did, and you guys will like this. There was a point he was talking about Fernet, I think it is, Rob. I don't know if you know what. It's some sort of liqueur, right? Yeah. Leonard Fernet. Yeah, it's an Amaro.
[33:00]It's like a bartender's handshake, kind of. He was talking about this type of thing, and he poured a little bit in a little drink, and he was passing it around, and I was like, "Ah." I tried it, and it wasn't for me, and I just said, "Ah, it's not really for me." It kind of tastes like root beer schnapps or something like that. I did not like it. But he looks at me and goes, "I don't really like this stuff either." Then he goes over and he pours a drink out of the tap. It's their house-made sarsaparilla. He brings it over to me and he says, "Try this with it." Wow. He poured me a specific drink, not in front of the whole group, but he literally gave me a drink that nobody else got, Aaron. Oh, yeah. That's special. That's good stuff. There's some ladies in groups next to us, and they're super excited. I get to pass it down. They get to try it and everything. What do you guys think of the bartender calling you out and kind of giving you the special? How do you not love that, right?
[34:00]You're going to be back. That's an all-time moment because you know, "Hey, this guy thinks..." You know what it's like, Russell? What's that? It's like if you go to a strip club and one of them actually likes you. I know it's actually a joke, but it actually could happen, too. They really like you. Russell, this bartender liked you more than the other people. He thought you were the best there. That's what it's like, Russell. Congratulations. I'm so jealous. It's like when you get an onion ring in your fries. You know what I mean? They know. Two other things I was going to mention about this. At the end of this, I thought the guy did a great job. He was super engaging. Rob, he did a great job of making himself the star, but also backing off and let people having fun when people needed to have... Oh, that's not easy to do, man. Rob's right. He's not talking over people when people are having fun. Rob's right. He's taking a step back and letting people be drunk and enjoying it and not needing to be the center of attention. I'll tell you what, Russell. That's not an easy thing to pull off. Oh, I guess it is, Rob. That's not an easy thing to pull off all the time. It's tough to do, to know when to kind of lay back in the cut and sometimes-
[35:00]I'm getting a phone call from upstairs. Hold on. Put it on speaker. Hello? Put it on speaker. Yeah, please. Just put it on speaker. Speaker. Hello? Come on. Russell. He's not lying. He really isn't. I'm down here doing it right now. Rob. What you think you're doing, Russell? What is she doing? Supposedly, the upstairs roommate got a text that I need to go down to do the podcast. Who sent her a text? Wow, who could have sent that? Anyway- Yes, I'm doing it now. I'm going to let you go. Who would have her number? Who has her number? Now it's time for me to step back. I'm going to step back at this point. I'm going to be just like the bartender. Yeah, so one of you guys obviously texted the upstairs roommate. But yeah, think of how intoxicated I am right now or barely alive. And imagine if you were someone like half my size and you went to this cocktail class with that many drinks. Would you survive or not? I'm just done. No. I mean, I have one full on hazy IPA.
[36:00]I know Joe from East St. Paul, he famously hates hazy IPA. Hates them. I love them. And I have one of those. They're like a 7/8 or a 8/2 or a 6/9 kind of a thing. I have one of those and I'm ready to go to bed for the night, let alone two of them. But it really floors me. I could not imagine having five cocktails, Russell, at one in the afternoon. And then being where you're at right now. Yeah. And you're still up. I'm so impressed. Russell, you went full Chamba Wamba. So we had a lager drink. We keep it going. We had a whiskey drink. Because if you go out at 1:00 and that's done at like 3:00, you don't go home. You stay out. No. No, you don't go home. You stay out. Yeah. Where'd you go next? Yeah. If you go home, you go straight to sleep. Yeah. So then we bounce around. We find a new spot to go to. Northeast Social we go to. We go to a new bar we've never been to before. Jesus. Oh, my God. Sweet. So what do you order? Do you go cocktail? I went a cocktail. Aaron, it had like cocoa nibs in it. I don't even know what that is. But it was not a good drink. But it looked cool. But so this is where we- You know what, Russell? That's so weird because that's the name of the stripper that loved me is Coco Nibs.
[37:00]Coco Nibs? Yeah. She had the biggest toes. Russell, is this the one that's like just a little bit north of Broadway? Yes, sir. A little bit east of University? So you're going to get a little bit- Yeah. A little bit east of University. Yeah. A little bit east of University. Yeah. A little bit west of University. So you're going to get- Yeah. A little bit west of where you were. So we're coming closer back to where we were at originally, Matt. Yeah. So we go there. And this is where we've got to make the decision like, I know we just had some pizza, but do We need to get more food? Because when you start- Wow. When you start having some drinks- Yeah. Right. You need more food. And so- Russell, yeah. You're probably about four good drivers away from your house at this- you're close to your house at this one. Yep. Very close. You're right. We should have a drink upstairs. Roommate maybe had a second drink and- Who's counting? But we're looking at the menu and we decide, ah, nothing jumps out on the menu. We're going somewhere else after this. We're going to get one drink and then we're bouncing again.
[38:00]Now we're going- It passed. Back, Matt, the other way. We're going to Black Duck. Matt, look up Black Duck. Give these guys the directions, please. And I just say this, every time in my life where I've looked over and Russ has been really drunk, I've been like, uh-oh. I've been hanging out with Russell all day and this guy's fucking hammered. Oh, you went north-north. So we go back the other way, Matt. You're getting closer to- yeah, you're going back north. So you got to head north on- what is this here? Is it University again? No, north on Central. Central. Wow. Yep. And then Central and 29. Over to Black Duck. So we go into Black Duck. We sit at the bar, get a few drinks, of course, get a couple of their specialty cocktails. And we order some food. One of these food items- Oh my God. I'm going to get a drink.
[39:00]With a bag of chips. And then they shake up the bag of chips And they pour it out. So it is like chips that are seasoned with an egg, The yolk. Oh, that's good. So that was good. I mean, I'm into that. Is it cooked? Yeah. It's like soft boiled maybe or something. Yeah, I don't know how you cook. It's cooked to some extent. It's not raw. Russell, I gotta hear that. You're out this long. Yeah. I can't even say it. Let's go for it. Well, man, are we pooping at a bar bathroom? No, no, no, no. Our body, we can't do that, right? Like that's, you're saying, Like if you had to do that, you'd be like, Hey, listen, we got to go home, right? Like that's the end of the day. I don't want to get into like details of that. I feel like Aaron's talked about this Where he is on the facilities on Q type of guy. Like he uses them once a day. Like I feel like I can get through an afternoon of doing stuff Without having to participate. I could go out to bars.
[40:00]I bet I could go out to bars for three days And not have to do that. My body's like, no, I'm not going to do that at a bar. No way. So here's the other thing that we order The market fish. And it's the type of fish dish that comes out. And man, I don't, I don't see that being all for this. It's like the full, it's like the fish with the head on. Like it's the whole fish. Oh yeah. It's, it's smiling at you. It's smiling at you. You're eating it. Like the bones are sticking out all over. So wow. So we're eating. I don't mind that. It's that's, that's, that's up north living. That's Rob at his cab. I guarantee Rob does at his cabin all the time. So then, so we're sitting there. We're hanging out and it's, we're kind of starting To run out of steam and I'm kind of putting it On the upstairs room. Did you eat the skin? That's the question of that fish. Yeah. It comes with the skin on it. There was no, there's no way they took the skin. Did you eat it? Yeah. Why wouldn't you? Oh my gosh. So gross. So then, so now this is what, six, seven p.m. You're finally losing steam. Yeah. So we're, let me get this straight.
[41:00]We're like two eggs. We're like two eggs, one fish, nine drinks Into this day. And some sort of duck duo Rob, What if it was a cabbage roll? Oh my God. This sounds like that Christmas song. I'm going to make a Christmas song Of what we did out this day out. So then we're like, It's probably time to go. We're probably, it's probably about six o'clock. We're going to one more bar. So one thing we like to do Whenever we go to a cocktail class. This was earlier today, by the way. I just forgot that. I thought this was like a week ago. I just realized yesterday. Technically it was yesterday. So we are, we, when I go to cocktail class, I always love to ask the bartender, What is your favorite bar? Like what bar do you like to go to? Oh, yes. That's so smart. And this guy's opened a lot of bars, man. He's opened Parlor. He's opened a lot of like the famous cocktail bars In Minneapolis, so I'm like, What is your favorite cocktail bar That you're not associated, That you didn't open, that you're not part of? And all the bartenders in Minneapolis
[42:00]Always say the best cocktail bar is Meteor, Which I believe is off Broadway, Matt. Hit the directions. Meteor. That's on the other side of the river. Yes, right? Yeah. So you got to take Broadway, You got to go past the original Broadway pizza On the east side of the Mississippi River, Over Broadway to the west side of the Mississippi River, Between the river and 94, Just north of Broadway off of Washington. About 21st, 27th. Now is this meteor like from the sky Or meteor like a girl I dated? Like meat, like meteor Is definitely like from the sky. Okay. But so this is just, And I've driven by this place hundreds of times Without stopping at it. It's like a little tiny little place. It's a little dive bar. Yeah, it looks like the old ones got like the kind of, Maybe it's got a little like a rounded windows and stuff. Man, I can't say I remember the size Or the look of the windows at this point.
[43:00]Wow. So it's a small dive bar. It is a small dive bar that probably Fits 40, 50 people at the most. So did anyone at any of these bars at any point say like, Hey, you look like you had 27 drinks today. Maybe it's time to go home. No, but we did. That's amazing. Kudos to you. So we go in a meteor and because I've been told By multiple bartenders before, This is where like all the bartenders like to go. And so they've got really good drinks. We get in there, nowhere to sit. Packed. Wow. Not packed, but definitely nowhere to sit. So we wait, we kind of get some drinks And we kind of do the linger thing. We're lingering by a pink or what do you call that game Where you hit the little flippers? Pinball. We're standing there, we wait. Finally a little table opens up, we go sit down. We're sitting there and we're having Just a regular like gin and tonic, But I need to try the real cocktails. So we have to get a couple others. We're sitting there and there's these people Kind of lingering. Here's one of the best moves I think you can make it
[44:00]As a busy bar. There is room for other people at our table And they're kind of standing there. We're like, hey, please, you can sit down and join us. You can sit on this part of the edge of the table. And so there's like two tables connected. I said, you can sit here as long as these old drinks That were here before us are allowed to be On your side of the table. And they're like, absolutely, that's a fair deal. So then people sit down, you make some new friends. Isn't that, you don't, people don't do that enough At like a bar, right? Where you sit down and you're like, hey, You can sit, if you need a spot, sit there and yeah. I do it often. I did it, we were in, we were up in Madeleine Island, Bayfield, Wisconsin over MEA weekend. There was like two bars in the whole place. And we went to one of them and it was just packed. And I had to do the dad thing And find a table for the family to sit down. And so did that, sat down with Joni from, Where was she from? Like Kenosha. I forget her husband's name, but she was Joan. Like, there's not a lot of Jones in the world anymore. So we talked.
[45:00]You sat at their table? Yeah. Cause they were just having, They were halfway through a beer And they were going to go to stay at reservations Around the corner. So they said the exact same thing. Like, well, you can have our table when we're done, You know, sit down now. So I had a beer and talked to them for a while And figured out what they were doing vacations for. And you work with your family. God, that sounds like one of the best family vacations I've ever heard of in my entire life. Do they listen to the podcast now? No. I didn't hear you name them When you were naming podcasts. Wow. That's a great point. You are. Yeah. No, they're not listening. Hey, Joni, somehow it didn't come up. The album is from 1963. Everybody's with my bears, Joni. You know, I'm not gonna lie. So we're having drinks there. The meteorite highly recommend that. So now it's, it's starting to hit about seven o'clock, Seven 30 or so. Russell, time to go home. That's what I would say. Rob, how can you go home when you need to get dessert? We're going out for ice cream to end the evening, Rob. My God. Matt, hit it. Letcher's ice cream. Hit the address. I wasn't ready.
[46:00]Letcher's ice cream. I was thought for sure that was the end of it. No. No. Letcher's ice cream. East Tenepet. Oh, we're like central university at first. Everything comes together on the other side, Nicola Island. Yes, absolutely. Down from Palma a little bit. Yeah, a little bit north. What was there? Is there a grocery store right there? There's all sorts of stuff over there. Oh, the cervix liquor store. Yeah, right by the Luns. That's what's right by the Luns. So we go in and I was going to ask you, This is what my whole point of leading up to the story was. We go in, we get ice cream. This is one of these ice cream spots, But they've got like the 18 different types. That's all they've got everything You could ever imagine, right? So I get one called the Carmel Crack. Oh, and it looks delicious. Yeah, of course. That's upstairs roommate decides She's going to get a coffee ice cream within about one bite. It becomes obvious. She wants your ice cream. The upstairs roommate is doing the trick. Like she chased a bite of mine
[47:00]And all of a sudden it's going to town on mine And it becomes clear There is just going to have to be a trade of, I am now stuck with the coffee ice cream. Rob, what are your thoughts about your wife Or your upstairs roommate doing the ice cream switch With you at an ice cream spot? Russell, it's offensive, but I will say There's a difference whether it's an upstairs roommate Or the wife. You know what I mean? When it was the upstairs roommate, I'd be like, hey, maybe there's no problem. Not a big deal, okay? When it's the wife, you kind of have to say, Hey, you knew you weren't going to like this Or it probably would have happened before. Yeah, you can't be switching ice creams. You know what, hey, guess what? That's what sampling is for, okay? Of course, I think sampling ice cream In a place is wrong, but if it's a coffee, I think you have to try it, Russell. Russell, what was your response? I think when you're out And you haven't had this many cocktails, I feel like making any sort of offensive comment
[48:00]Or inappropriate comment is just likely To spiral into a bad evening, right? Russell, you are correct. I can tell you for a fact that you are 100% correct. So I just go with the flow. I'm like, hey, if you want to trade, we trade. And part of me thought it would be a trade For like two bites and then switch back And it was a full-on trade. We'll just put it that way. Did you at least eat Toward the middle of the ice cream together, Russell? No. I did get, I got one bite of the caramel crack And then I had to eat some coffee, gross coffee ice cream. Russell's going to be like a, Russell's going to be like, When you feed a dog pretty soon with ice cream. So then I came and I got home, Matt. We got home back across the river And then I sat in my record chair And fell asleep for three hours And woke up and saw texts from you guys And I could have been five in the morning for all I know. That's crazy. No, are you Uber? I assume you're Ubering everywhere. Uber ever. Matt, I'm an Uber everywhere. If I go anywhere and I even think there's a 0.1% chance
[49:00]I'm having a drink at this point in my life, It's Uber all the time now. But I'm looking, this is a pretty tight year. You stayed in a pretty, for Minneapolis, You stayed in a little pretty tight little circle here. So that was pretty good. That's a good night, Russell. Well, I'll keep this a good night. I'll keep it in the circle. Matt Rowling going, how's it going with you? Wow. Good. I'll be real quick. Rob, I need you to pull up a song for me that I can't. I'm going to interrupt. Stop, please. One of the bars I was at, they had a great playlist, Rob. Pull up Lawyers, Guns and Money, Warren Zevon. I have a Warren Zevon fan. I don't, like, I've never, I didn't grow up listening To his music or anything, but I've sent Aaron Some clips from Warren Zevon before. This was, this came on. I'm sure he's not on the list. It's a travesty that he's not. No, it's 100% chance he's on the list. I would bet he's not. I would bet. Let's check right now. This song is on the list. He was where the Russian is done. You don't think so? Great voice. I think everyone knows Warren Zevon for, Wow.
[50:00]Werewolves of London, but he's got some bangers. He's not on the list. He's, he's rolling the headless Thompson. Roller the headless Thompson runner. Yeah. He's got some great songs. So I just had to give a shout out to Warren Zevon. Matt, sorry. Shout out to Warren Zevon. Yeah. Rob, I need you to pull up. Dang, the ANG by rainbow kitten surprise. Oh, all right. Here we go. Is this the podcast we did the trade with that never talked about us? No, but one, I love the name of the band. They've been around for a while and I was trying to figure out, This is like Kings of Leon, but like happier is what I figured out. And so I like them a lot. I've listened to them for a while. So I'll go real quick. We've got to figure out how to get to the middle part of this, But stealing the kids Halloween candy. You haven't been stealing much, but I've discovered one thing. They make a peanut butter Reese's peanut butter cup. They now has caramel on the bottom of it.
[51:00]So I had a little one of those that had a Reese's peanut butter with caramel. Yeah, they've improved. Those are that was really good. Let me ask you this. Were you eating like you ate it? You took like one bite and then upstairs roommate swooped in And took the caramel Reese's that you're eating. They just got to eat the whole thing. You got to sharpen those elbows. He's got to block some out. That's a good thing. So what else do I got babysitting my kids this weekend? So of course it's a video games all day for the boys. All right, there we go. You have two systems matter. Do they play together? We've got like 17 systems at this point between iPads And computers and switches and switch twos and all sorts of stuff. Yeah, that's fine. Aaron, that's the sickness of it. That's what the kids want to do on a day. You know what I mean? You're out there. You're out there telling them to win one for the gipper. And meanwhile, they want to win one for the flipper on the pinball game. They're playing on their switch. I don't know.
[52:00]Pokemon Z or something like that. That's the game. They both want to play that game, though. So there's only one of that game. That's the only issue we've got. Russell's that they both want to play that game. So they have to switch off that. I mean, Jim, Laura is talking about the playoffs. And meanwhile, my kids are trying to push the play button playoffs. Yeah. And then Sarah is out of town. She's with a bunch of our listeners. They're they're all hanging out in Santa Fe ladies. They ladies. Yeah, ladies weekend kind of thing. So how do they pick Santa Fe? They're watching newsies for sure. They tend to go to and Sarah tends to want to go To anything that's like a little bit out of the normal off the beat. Well, like, like a cool spot, but like not New York or San Francisco. And I'm saying this because you guys lived there But kind of just somewhere that you wouldn't normally go. If that makes sense, just to try to experience something like that. So they just thought Santa Fe they had a list and Santa Fe
[53:00]Was the one that everybody kind of agreed to. You think they go crazy there for Christmas? That's because Santa Fe, like to me, Santa's in the title of the town. It'd be like if you lived in Christmas treeville, you got to go nuts for Christmas. It's like Easter on Easter Island. Oh, by Easter Island. Those heads. Hey, I wonder where they hid the eggs. I bet it's by the big fucking head like the last thing ahead of my things In my list is that I had a solo fire last night. I just out my driveway. The kids are playing video games and I decided to just have a fire And having a fire by yourself. Oh, relaxing. Putting on tunes is unbelievable. What a moment. Now what you should have had with that? About 10 cocktails and a couple of eggs. And maybe some ice cream. Matt, what's your bonfire style? Are you using gasoline to like pour on there? Are you? No. No.
[54:00]You're just laying it up. Why are you using gasoline to pour on there? How do you get the fire going? What's your fire starting method? Well, you take some newspaper and you'll crumple it. You twist it. Wow, you twist it. Anybody who's ever seen The Great Outdoors knows that line. So that's the line. You twist it and then you put some of the kindling, Just those small sticks and you get it going And then you put the bigger wood on from there. So no, no, just newspaper. That's all I'm using to start. So that's it. Rob, Roland, go on. How's it going? And I'm not going to do a bit about Don't Morrigato, Mr. Roboto, but in a very high voice Because it's little sticks. You know what I mean? Don't Morrigato, Mr. Roboto, Don't Morrigato. Oh my God, that's little sticks. Can you say it was not going to do it? I'm more of a big, I'm more of a big, I'm more of a big sticks fan. Did you do a parody song? No, I'm not doing an official parody song. They bring me no joy to make. Listen, I know you guys a couple of things real quick.
[55:00]Okay, number one, Monday is Edmund Fitzgerald day. It's a day that Edmund Fitzgerald sank. 15 years. I might do another karaoke track of the Edmund Fitzgerald At the end of this episode. So stick around, you can listen to it the day After Edmund Fitzgerald day. And also I have to say this, we totally forgot, I was so pissed when I texted you guys, We totally forgot about October. A whole year has gone by, we forgot to celebrate October. We buy this what's on October again. Yeah, I had no idea what you were talking about. That of course is, it's where the... And I still have no idea, Aaron, What Anna was talking about on the secret text change. She was talking about when I said that Prince Alvin Parade Has sometimes it snows in April on it And Rob started playing the song and then realized it was sad. And I thought that Rob might have known the song. And so I said, someone, if you know the song, Text the bedline with hashtag I know this song. And it was only Anna who knew the song. But once again, that is why I'm married to her
[56:00]And not to Rob. Now look it, it looks like they have come up With some new, I think since last time We checked they have come up with some new penis cages On Amazon. This one, for example, is kind of fire engine red And it vibrates. You gotta read the description if you're gonna make a... Sex toy vibrating, chastity cage, male chastity devices, Cock cage with 10 vibrations, app and... Let me get a good review. That's got a lot of, that's those stars, 4.5 stars, 329 ratings, 300 and 29... There's 329 penises that we have. Penises that were caged up on October, Bondage gear and accessories. More people have rated this sex toy Than listening to this podcast. Man, oh that's one thing, right? Is that like you buy a penis cage Or like that's a good penis cage? I better tell everybody. Do you think they have their real names by the reviews? Rob, do you think that comes in a discreet package Or not? I... Like when that gets mailed? Look at the pictures there. Lots of fun. Great cage that fits comfortably. It's a very big cage.
[57:00]Oh, okay. I know what you're doing there. But don't worry about being able to fill it perfectly. Yeah, you definitely will feel the vibrations just fine. The different settings feel great too. Don't lie about the settings. We all know you're just cleared up to max power. It's easy to use and cleaning is easy. Why do you gotta clean it? It carries a bit of a weight compared to a normal cage, But I think that just adds to the pleasure. Can't wait to put it and hand my remote over To my key holder. By the way, key holder capitalized. Appreciate it. And this one is by R. Ussle. Hmm. Rob, I didn't want to bring this up. I was going to bring it up on the chain outside Just so you could think about it yourself. Okay. Did you see the news about former Vikings lineman, Matt Khalil this week And the accusation that he is the size of two Coke cans? No. Wait, next to each other or end to end? I think end to end. Am I going to have to edit this out
[58:00]As he did something very bad? No, just Google Matt Khalil. It's like a big story. He's getting divorced. And one of the reasons his wife said is Cause he's hung like a horse. Are you serious? Matt Khalil, penis. You don't even need to just do Matt Khalil. Haley Berry, Haley Bailey. Her name is Haley Bailey. Her name is Haley Bailey. I'd get married too if my name was Haley Bailey. Haley Bailey. She was on a podcast and she was talking About like why her relate. The trauma I can't. Oh my God. It's just, it's bad. Okay. That's the thing about having a large penis, isn't it? It's all you want as a guy. And I think when you actually have one, It's like a living nightmare. It's a real monkey pause situation Except your monkey pause is a giant penis. Okay. It's all I want, but I guess we all have different desires. Your penis must be so bigger. And if you don't want a big penis, God. I would compare it to my favorite chef's knife Because I use it every day. I saw that some people were joking about it.
[59:00]Text shade was it was like two Coke cans, maybe three. Whoa. The minis? Three Coke cans, Rob. Not the little pony Coke cans. Rob does drink the mini sodas, But no, like the full 12 ounce can. Here's what I would want to know. It's like the size of my forearm. Would he go sea turtle? And of course we all know what sea turtle is. That's when you try to stick your penis Through a six pack holder And your penis is so big it gets stuck in the six pack holder. Oh my God. My penis would not go sea turtle. My penis would not get stuck in a six pack holder. I could move back and forth freely. It would be no big deal. No impediments me at all. Okay. It would be a very large cage for me. Okay. Do you think he couldn't put through a six pack holder? That's crazy. I think that's part of the reason they got divorced. Wait, no. I've always said, no, like I love having a penis. I've always said like it's the greatest thing now. Wow, Aaron. Haven't played that one in a while. Oh my God, you talked about it for so long. Can you believe though,
[1:00:00]I have to say that would be one time Where you get divorced. You'd be like, hey, why am I getting divorced? Just Google my name. I look for the first thing that comes up. It's about my huge penis. Okay. So my point was all that stuff. Okay. But I also have this. This is like a great transition into a journey. The Grammys are just like Some of my favorite websites online. They're coming up with new categories all the time. And you didn't even know you liked, But it turns out you do. We have two new Grammy categories this year. Oh, okay. Category number one, best traditional country album. That's the Beyonce one. When everybody got mad, the Beyonce one. So now they made another one. That's exactly what it is, isn't it? They don't want Beyonce in their country. They don't want the new fangled country. Then explain this next one. So what's nominated for that one? I don't know. Because what I care about is The other Grammy nominated category is best album cover.
[1:01:00]Oh, wow. Best album cover. And I'm gonna show you the nominations right now. Okay. Best, and this of course is a podcast. So it's not the best place to be showing Visual stuff like this. Chakramapia. That's a badass album cover. Don't you think? Tyler the creator. Tyler the creator. Which is a good album too, by the way. Hey, if you listen to the album, You know he says Chromacopia. And that's Chakramapia. Tyler the creator is growing. He's a good artist. He's good. The Crux by William Wesley. Look at that picture. It's kind of cool. It's like a building of The Crux. Looks like it might be northeast St. Paul. We've got some chairs out in front with Bad Bunny. That's literally the album cover. And then we have this one, Glory by Cody Crutchlow. But it got me thinking guys, Oh and this one, Moisturizer. This one's too scary. Can't look at that one anymore. But it got me thinking, What are some Grammy categories That aren't around anymore? And it's tonight's list. What are we gonna list? Of the, these are Grammy categories
[1:02:00]That no longer exist. And in fact, all of these Grammy categories Lasted exactly one year. I have- Hold on, Rob, take your headphones off for a second. Russell, have we done this before? I don't think so, no. No? Okay. Okay, Rob, go on back. Well, you would know if you'd done it before Because there's only one year. So it would be the same damn song. Next question, Russell, do we need to list right now? First up, in 1967, There was a category called Best R&B Solo Vocal Performance, Male or Female. So males and females went against each other. Guess who won? With Cryin' Time, it's Ray Charles. Oh. Listen to who he beat. James Brown for It's a Man's Man's World. Moon Rawls for Love is a Hurtin' Thing, Stevie Wonder for Uptight, Everything is All Right, And Percy Sledge for When a Man Loves a Woman. Oh, my gosh. I feel like I take all four of those over this song. 100%, a thousand percent.
[1:03:00]That's a great song. Well, guess what? This is the only winner of Best R&B Solo Vocal Performance, Male or Female. Then we have Best Pop Instrumental Performance By Ranger, composer, orchestra, or choral leader. I mean, this can go. From 1973, the only guy to win it. Guys it's Isaac Hayes. Oh, yes. You know, are our Grammys like real awards? Man, did you have to do that? I was watching, I was reading something the other day, And it was like a local sportscaster, Something that won an Emmy, and I'm like, How many Emmys are like, do they get? There's state Emmys. There's state Emmys. Like, those aren't real awards. Like, why are they getting like a local Emmy? What are we talking about? That's so ridiculous. I mean, they get a mouse. That's not real. It's real to me. It's not real. Yeah. But they have to have a way to judge Like the local newscasters, right? Like, to be fair, This is like when maybe Matt gets this more than I do. This is like, we've got, we've got,
[1:04:00]I've got so many friends who all their kids Are like state baseball champions. How many state baseball tournaments Can there possibly be? Wow, that's, there's a lot. Yeah. It's different. Yeah. It's like boxing titles. Like there's five different organizations. Somebody's finally united all five Welterweight championships kind of a thing. So yeah. That's like best kisser. I had to try to unite that belt Across so many different places. I was in the Russell, didn't you tell him to stop Bringing up the kissing thing? Cause it's kind of semi-creepy. No, he used to bring that up Like where he would forcefully do it to people. Right. The kissing booth, Well, guys, the kissing booth Would have been a great idea in college. God dang. Next up, in 2012, there was a category called Best Banda or Nortenio album. Well, this was. Okay. And it's, it's a MTV Unplugged album By El Directo or Somos Mas Americanos.
[1:05:00]Listen to this. This is live. I mean, I like it. Yeah. But it turns out, this is a song called, Or it's a song called Somos Mas Americanos, Meaning we are more American. And it's become a anthem For immigrants around the country. I do enjoy it. It's so fun. The one before, I think the one before Aaron, I was trying to place it, I think it's a track called Cluston. Yes. That samples that. Oh, the Isaac Hazel one? Yeah. I was trying to place it. Well, it also, it actually also sampled it On Porta's head. Adam? Yeah. A little bit. But I guess who's also singing with him on this Russell? Zach De La Roche. On this track? From Rage. From Rage? And that's why they started the song like this On the album.
[1:06:00]So good. To hear a Nortenio band play Rage Against the Machine to start with. 1980, one year, Best Disco recording. The winner, Gloria Gaynor, I Will Survive. Only one Best Disco recording. There's one, and immediately after this, Disco kind of got that. Thank you, Chicago White Sox. Homophobic. Right? Homophobic label. They wanted Disco to be done, So they took it out of the Grammys. But this might be the all time, It's like if the only R&B performance song Was Natural Woman or something like that. This is perfect. Like if this is the only Disco Grammy ever given up, Like this is it. But listen to what it beats. Boogie Wonderland, Bad Girls by Donna Summer. Ooh. Don't you think I'm sexy by Rod Stewart? That's a Disco song? Don't Stop Till You Get Enough by Michael Jackson. What? This beat, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough.
[1:07:00]Guys, what a fucking great year for Disco in 1980. How was that Rod Stewart song at Disco song? It's a Disco song. If you listen to it, it's a big time Disco song. If you think I'm sexy. If you think I'm sexy. Oh yeah. Man, it's a big time Disco song. 100%. It's a Disco. First of all, if you watch the video, He's 100%. Oh, you watch the video, but that's like... Wait, there's a video? What else is that? It's definitely Disco. You don't remember that. It's got that backbeat. Now, she's sucking through that stuff. You can see Aaron walking through a Disco bar in Vegas With a little attitude, a little stank on that tank As he's walking through, right? Look at his pants in this video. Look at those pants. I'll tell you what, if he was Matt Khalil, He would get arrested at the airport for shoplifting. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sir, I know you take it to those big, tall boys at Coke. I love that song. In 1980, 89, they come up with a category,
[1:08:00]Best hard rock slash metal, okay? Here's this, and listen to who plays at the 1989 Grammys. Whitney opens it with one moment in time. Manhattan Transfer does the next song, classic. Tracy Chapman does fast car. Metallica comes out and plays one. And that's because they are one of the nominees For best hard rock metal performance, 1989 for Justice for All. Who wins? It's Jethro Tall. Oh, I knew this. Get the fuck out of here. Here's the song, Mountain Man by Jethro Tall. I think, didn't they make a joke about that? Once they finally won, they said I'd like to take Jethro Tall for not making an album this year. Jethro Tall wins the Grammys. It makes people so mad at the Grammys That they get rid of this category forever. Jethro Tall takes out an ad with just a flute And it says, apparently a flute is heavy metal. Metallica on their one album puts a sticker That says Grammy losers.
[1:09:00]So then after that, they split the category. This beat, Justice for All Russell, The song you're listening to right now. I mean, you have to get rid of an award. This is, this beats the Justice for All. And that is known as the all-time bad beat In the Grammys. Those are the one category, Grammy categories, One year old. It's sneaky beat of the week. The loss, I'm reading the loss was so unexpected That Jethro Tall's manager had advised him Not to even attend the ceremony. 100%. It's, yeah, they weren't there. Like it's, it's getting, oh, it's crazy. Joni Mitchell, born November 7th, 1943. Let's say Russell, you're doing a really shitty job Of keeping us on track today. Russell is not, he's not in his timing phase right now. He didn't know what time he went to sleep or woke up. The thing I don't like when we do the long ones On a single is we could have done two. No. Me too. Well, I know, I'm with you. Guys, we'll be done. Somehow they end up being two hours
[1:10:00]And I'm like, what the fuck? True. There was, yeah, he could have gotten two done at this time. Do not blame me. Just cause I just did a list for my rolling gone. Joni Mitchell, 1943, born in Canada. I saw a Reddit review of this album And said, this is the beginning of the end Of her in the end of the beginning. This album, sprinklers in the grass Is basically Joni Mitchell going from blue, Court and spark, kind of that popular Joni Mitchell. Wait, what's sprinklers in the grass? Yeah, this is this hissing of the summer lawns. Did we do the wrong album? No, hissing of the summer lawns, But it's the sprinklers that are doing it. So I just call it sprinklers in the grass. It's kind of what the Mitchell heads call it, guys. Okay. What are you talking about? That's, I'm talking about the album. What do you think the hissing of the grass is? She's talking about sprinklers. Am I going crazy? What's he talking about, Aaron? I don't know. He's calling this the sprinklers. And the name of the album is Hissing of the Summer Lawns. The hissing of the summer lawns. Hissing of the summer lawns. I saw it just- Why are you calling it something else? What do you do it? Russell, the hissing is sprinklers.
[1:11:00]That's what it's referring to. Fucking spoiler alert. Wait, we didn't hear the album yet. Okay. Well, we're going to speed through it. This is her album, after court and spark. It's after blue. Oh, when was she born? He said that, 1943. November 7th, which was yesterday. Yeah, it's true. Also my brother's birthday. Wow. Also my California anniversary, 15 years yesterday. Wow, yes. This is, and the reason they say it's the beginning of the end Is that this is where she's going from that blue sound, That court and spark sound to, We've already done Hajira, right? Kind of that more out there, That more, I guess, complicated. Yeah, experimental, yeah. So this album, she gets a lot of jazz musicians To come with her, okay? They're playing kind of jazz harmonies. They're playing synthesizers. There's a song in here where it's drumming, Literally from Africa. They recorded this like African tribe. She put a synthesizer on top of it. Like she's kind of going wild. But at the same time, She still sounds like Joni Mitchell, right?
[1:12:00]She's got the LA Express of Jazz Crusaders. Those are jazz bands with her. And basically she's talking about women's experience, Patriarchal norms. They said that this album came up. It was titled like this because a friend of hers Invited her out to the suburbs somewhere in LA. She got out of Laurel County. She went to visit this person. And when she saw where they lived, She wrote this album. She wrote this song about What that would be like living out there. So it's kind of like this suburban warning song. And then when it came out though, You got to remember Joni Mitchell Had a huge hit with Court and Spark. Critics were mixed on this. And in fact, Rolling Stone gave it a review. The Rolling Stone magazine That we have hitched our wagon to on this podcast Gave a review saying it's a great collection Of pop poems with a distracting soundtrack. They did not like the music. They thought the lyricism was great. This got all the way up to number four in the U.S. It's Joni Mitchell's last top 10 album of all time. And let's get into this kind of jazz rock, The hissing of the summer lawns, Which of course I know off the top of my head.
[1:13:00]Okay, that's easy for me. The sprinklers in the grass. Yeah. That's what it is. The sprinklers in the grass. In France, they kiss on Main Street. This got all the way up to number 66. And I think it's interesting how she does this Because this sounds like Joni Mitchell. Like if you put on this record, This sounds like a Joni Mitchell album. It's got David Crosby, Graham Nash, James Taylor on backing vocals. But you can hear that fretless bass That we're gonna hear a ton of on his euro coming off. I like that bass line at the beginning of that song. Yeah, like a little Victor Wooten. And then what she's gonna do from here now Is she's gonna kind of with the second song, She's gonna say, Oh, you think this is a Joni Mitchell album? Watch this. I'm gonna give you African drumming With a MOOC synthesizer on top. In a song called The Jungle Lions. It's actually drummers of Burundi. Like they made a live recording of that And she kind of sampled it and put this in her song. 1975, she's sampling there.
[1:14:00]Paul Simon, wasn't he used to the same drum sound And with albums or not? But this is like actual recording of drums in Africa. Like these drums were being played in Africa and came over. And also that Paul Simon album, Russell, That's a decade later. That's mid-80s that's going on. But we do hear more world music on hers as we kind of go. I can't believe you didn't do a parody song to this for us. It's so sing-a-longable. It's so hard to listen to this song. Yeah. It's almost impossible. I'm sure the creative process is amazing. It was not an appealing song for me to listen to. No. Edith and the kingpin, Now this is where she kind of turns on the jazz That this album is gonna be known for. She keeps saying big man About a character in the song. You guys have a nickname that you give people Like if they hand you the ice cream, Russell, They give you a nice delicious caramel crack ice cream. Oh my God, you can't wait to eat the whole thing All by yourself. What do you say to him? Do you say it?
[1:15:00]Cause I'll tell you what I say. They go, thanks boss. I'll hit him with a boss. You do boss? I do. New York, you can do it in New York. It works. I'll hit him with a big man sometimes. What do you guys do? Maybe my friend, thanks my friend. Oh my friend, that's nice. I like that. Matt, you got a nickname? Maybe. I don't know. No. I don't think I do either, man. Wow. You should have one ready to go. It's a term of endearment. Don't interrupt the sorrow. Now, do you think this is a happy song or a sad song? Don't interrupt. I only think about this because I know Prince likes the Ajira record Which I'm sure I talked about when I listened to that one. This doesn't sound very Prince-y to me But you can imagine him listening to this record And taking something from it for sure. Even the stuff where it's like, Oh, this song's hard to listen to. He did that too, right? Like, he challenged you.
[1:16:00]Not only did Prince say this is one Of his favorite albums, Aaron. He would play this album before concerts often. Okay, all right. Like, he got a lot out of this album. Now, do you think, is this an album Where if I listened to it when I was 25 To when I was 40, I'd be getting more out of it? Like, is this a growing with you album? I don't. I think this... It feels like an acquired taste circle. This is us being guys. We don't, I think the, there's a... I just don't feel like we would have ever listened To Joni Mitchell growing up. It would have never dawned on me to listen to it. My guess is, I was kind of curious like, Aaron, like, is your wife a Joni Mitchell fan? You've talked about that before, Like how was it Court and Spark Or one of those albums is like one of her favorites, right? Yeah, but this one, when I put this one on tonight, She was like, oh, like what about her first album, Which we have, I can't remember the name of it.
[1:17:00]No, there's one before that. The King and the Something, I'm losing it. But sprinklers? Yeah, this was not one she was super familiar with. I'll tell you what, if you go and read it Into the Joni Mitchell subreddit, This is the one that all the hardcore Mitchell heads say is their favorite. Like this is like, remember how David Bowie Was station to station? This is kind of similar to that. I think you can compare those two albums though, right? It's like this, taking it in a new direction, Kind of art, pop type stuff. Next up, Shades of Scarlet Conquerine. Now listen to this flute player. She has a famous multi-instrumentalist Who's a flutist, floutist. Damn it, says flutist like an idiot. And Russell on this podcast, We've kept track of a couple different floutists. We've got Herbie Mann. We've got the famous Mark's multi-instrumentalist. Oh, Sarah's going to be mad. What's the famous multi-instrumentalist
[1:18:00]That we talked about? We talked about him. God damn it. There's some other floutist way early in. Well, it turns out that's exactly what this is. This is a flute playing by a guy named Bud Shank. So guess what? You're doing a list. I got another list. Oh, my God. I didn't know we were going to talk about some of the stuff We talked about, what I made to list. I do have a question right now. At what point do you make the list Assuming I'm not going to do what? Like, do you do it last second or do you always have one And then you just delete it if I come up with something? No, I do it today. Like my last list, I could have done that any day, But I chose today. Who is the floutist? I'm looking at famous flute players. I'm not finding who we talked about. This is Bud Shank, okay? Who sounds like a guy you'd get something from in prison. One of his albums, Brasilia Brasilia. This is 12 years before the girl from Empanima. You guys know I love Bossa Nova. He's one of the first players to bring Bossa Nova over to the US. Here he is on the saxophone. No, he's on the saxophone here.
[1:19:00]Wait, we're doing a list of flute players That play on the saxophone? Yes, Russell, because you need five songs To make a list apparently, thanks to your guys' rules. Probably one of the most famous songs you play. He won an academy. We had a rule we had to do two lists in a night, though. And it seems new to me as well. This, when I'm trying to speed up And then you guys interrupt me, It feels like you're not really... Because we didn't do a double this week? You'll remember why. Bud Shank. Yes, look at him. Famous floutist Bud Shank. He's slivergasted, he's dumbfounded. You know, I'm more pissed for you, Russell. I should have been asleep a long time ago. I had a great day and now you're... Doing this. No, Russell went and got some drinks And then some drinks And then some ice cream. And now he's doing this. This is like the ice cream's ice cream. This is like the dessert's dessert. Is listening to a list about Bud Shank, famous floutist. He won an academy award for playing the theme song To the Thomas Crown Affair in 1968. Windmills of your mind.
[1:20:00]Such a famous song that Stinger did a remake For the remake of the movie. Look along the shore and we bear footprints in the sand With the sound of distant drumming. Google says Ian Anderson from Jethro Tol was a famous floutist. Wow what? That's a good point. We're talking... Hey, this is kind of our flute show. Okay, put that in the notes. 10th or 3rd list. Johnny Mandel wrote this next song. He wrote the music. However, the director of... Pretty good... He's a pretty good quarterback. College. Yeah, a couple of different careers. The director of this movie, Robert Altman, said, I want this song, I have two things I want about the song. It has to be called Suicide is Painless. And it has to be the stupidest song ever written. He tried to write the lyrics himself, But they weren't stupid enough. So Robert Altman got his 12-year-old kid to do it. And so his 12-year-old kid of the director of the movie, 12-year-old kid wrote the lyrics to this song. Okay?
[1:21:00]Which Bud Shank played the fluton is the MASH theme song, Otherwise known as Suicide is Painless. Hot Taylor Roberts? I've never seen an episode of MASH. I'll tell you what, when MASH was on, It was time for me to turn out the TV. It was such a bummer, because when MASH was on, I was like, I'm not fucking watching any MASH. No way. MASH? If I watched episode of MASH, I was a fucking loser. I had nothing going on that day. It was really bad. This is from a guy who got mad When he couldn't watch America's Funnest Owned Videos one night. It is a pretty iconic theme song, though. Even not watching MASH, I knew it immediately. Hey, Matt, you ever heard this song? Nope. Never heard it. Now, Bud Shank did not play on this song, But he did do a cover of it That got him on the Billboard charts. Also not in the food. That song comes out. Michelle comes out in 1966. Guess what year this cover comes out?
[1:22:00]1967. 1966. You're close there. And it came out the exact same year. And he made the charts with it. God, life would be so easy back then, wouldn't it? Okay. Now. Matt, doubles from now on, You're just going to have to agree to double. We would have been halfway in episode two. We would have had two. This next song is in five, four time. It is not on the flute. We even talked what? Here's the thing. Before you two got on, we even talked about it. Oh, it'll be good. Russell's probably really tired. Yeah, we'll get through it quick. It'll be good. We even talked about it. Double list. The Morse code. He had the double list the whole time. Yeah, the double list was in his pocket. He's just fucking stringing you along. How can I start a sentence with Morse code And you guys aren't immediately interested In what I'm saying? The whole time, Russell. The Morse code for M is two dashes. Dash. I is two dots. So you put that together, dash,
[1:23:00]Dot, dash, dot. And you get the song that Budshank played on. No. Submission and possible theme song. Is that a flute? OK. However, most famously by far, And the reason I made this list Is that Budshank played this flute solo. What did I say in the text? You know, if we were done by like 1.15, That's fine. If we were done by 1.15. Yeah, that was crazy. Right now, Russell. These are who might need a new executive producer. My clock says 1.13. That was a great song, though. And that's a great flute song. I would have never thought I'd call out that flute. It's actually an alto flute era, And that's why it sounds so low. In fact, that flute solo is so famous That the song has been redone by Sia. How famous is it? That song was redone by Sia. She kept a flute solo. Can you imagine how famous a flute solo has to be For a flute solo to be left in?
[1:24:00]It's kind of like a woodchuck. How much flute solo could it be? The hissing of summer lawns. The titular track. What do I actually, the titular track Is something about sprinklers in the car. Oh, yes. This is a different bass, though. It's not too fretless, right? It sure sounds like it. Sorry, guys. Aaron, and that reminds me of my third list. Rob, I read this song. It's about staying in a marriage. Your thoughts? Love it. Hey, marriages. Number one, Russell, what do you think About staying in a marriage? The boho dance. This is about her making fun of kind of her own scene Or the scene making fun of her. It kind of reminds me of like when I go to Jiu Jitsu And it's just the weirdest guys in the whole world there. You guys do that where you go to something And it's just the weirdest people you're in a scene. Oh, you gotta look in the mirror, right? Like, I'm not saying you, But I'm saying I would have to look in the mirror If I went and it's like, this is my beard. Okay, every time I go rough, I'll pass.
[1:25:00]You're one of them, yeah. Yeah, I tell her about it. I don't like to tell people I have a fascination. I'm kind of like a cool lighthouse. That's all I think of myself. You know what I mean? Like I'm shiny in the distance, like the fawns. Harry's house, it kind of breaks down from there. I read, this is about a failing marriage. This is about adopting dogs, about telling anyone. Oh. And then you have to try to figure out How to smooth that over with a flute solo. There's something there. New Coke cans help. This album does feel very 70s to me. It feels like a lot of these songs could be, Like we talked about the mash with the flute. It feels like these could be songs For like the beginning of a 70s TV show. Yeah. Well, at least this one is a little more melodic. It's gotta be a weed album, right? But they smoke a lot of weed in Laurel Canyon. A ton, do you think? But they do in other drugs.
[1:26:00]Oh, everything. Yeah. Oh, forget about it. James Taylor, they're probably doing heroin. Sweet Bird? Yeah, he was the heroin guy, right? The song is all about getting older And the uncertainty of what lies ahead. I can't relate to it. I heard she sings in this alto flute range of her voice, too. I don't love the higher voice stuff. I like it right here in the pocket. She's like a singing Budshank. Many people have said that, I'm sure. Do you not know who Budshank is? Because I've got a perfect intro. And finally, we've got Shadows and Lights. And I know what you're thinking. I wish Jody Mitchell did a song with a choral arrangement And synths. Oh, you got it. Whoa. It's so... It's a Christmas album. I would love to go to Santa Fe and listen to this one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, what's that right around the corner?
[1:27:00]It's Santa Fe. He's bringing queso for everybody. Hey, leave out that... I can't think of another Tex-Mex food beside queso. Leave out that queso for Santa Fe. He's coming. I just think Matt just turned off his recording. He's coming pretty soon. Is Budshank on this album? Yep. Yes, he played flute on one of the songs. That's how it relates, Russell. Listen, I don't need to explain the system to you Unless you're a new listener. He played the saxophone of the flute On songs three and six and the bass flute on seven. So Edith and Kingpin. A bass flute was something that was in Matt Khalil's divorce papers. If you were to put all the instruments In the high school band and say, Line them up in according to who has the most friends, Where does the bass flute player rank? Like dead last?
[1:28:00]Like, do they have any friends? Like, where are they compared to the French horn? Yeah, they're... Where are they compared to the French horn? Wow. You got French horn number one? No, I'm saying dead last. Oh, okay. Like the French horn player... The French horn least sounds cool, right? Like, if you're the French hornist on a song, Is that what you would call them? If you're the French horn player on a song. I think it's French hornist. I think that sounds really good. Like, you don't hear a bass flute at all In the orchestra or the band or whatever, right? So you're just kind of sitting there. You could just be faking it for all anybody knows. You think they're down the list. French hornists are totally neurotic though, Because they're gonna frack at any moment. They're always on the edge. Their embouchure is so small, Aaron. You know what I'm saying? They have the tiniest embouchure. One chance to make the horn call And a rooker or whatever, And then they can see and fuck it up, everybody hears it. Listen, all I'm gonna say Is my first girlfriend was a French horn player. Second girlfriend? Bass player, net player. Third girlfriend?
[1:29:00]Rob, here's my next... Pathologist. I was trying to do it. I was trying to do it all. Rob, next one. She played the recorder. My next music instrument thought. Yes. Baritone player's a nice school. Likely to have a few friends, Zero chance they have a girlfriend. Wow. Oh, disagree. What? Baritone? Yeah, dude. You probably think the trumpet players Are the most popular band members, don't you? Everyone in band has a girlfriend. The band is always making out with each other. Not the baritone players. No. No, no baritone? I don't know. What do you guys think? I'm saying that you gotta... Everyone's gotta be on the continue Above the list somewhere. Like... I gotta say, if I was a woman And I wanted to get felt up, A xylophone player would be way higher my list. You know what I mean? Like he's back there. He's doing the two things. I'd be like, I could feel me up real good. I bet. No. Hey, play me like one of your friends xylophones. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. What do you think is at the end of the list? No friends in the band. What instrument player? And who would be the best at feeling me up?
[1:30:00]Don't say tuba player. Best at feeling Robb Ups gotta be saxophone. Yep. Thank you. And... But like the baritone saxophone, Fewer friends. Oboe? Very sax. Very sax, not high on the list. How about an oboe player? I mean, they got friends with the other... The other wind instruments? Yeah, it's true. Yeah, maybe. The winds stick together. I think so. Hey, you wanna come over and check out my reed? I think a tuba player could feel you up. But it would be just kind of one thing. I think the tuba player, Like you've gotta have some sort of Outsized personality to be the tuba player. Yeah, you've got to be your friend. Like you're the... I love the tuba player, yeah. You're the baritone player that is... You're too good for the baritone. Big and strong, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Russell what... Hey, Rob, some would say that's some smart shit.
[1:31:00]Wow, that's some smart shit, Russell. When I'm... Something with my wife, Piccolo. I don't know. Can you put that joke together for me, please? Somebody can strike that joke. Listen, Rolling Well-Toned. Does this belong at 257 or wherever we're at? Does this... Rolling Well-Toned, Rolling Bone, Which it should be higher on the list. Okay, it got boned or Rolling Grown. This should be lower on the list. What are we doing listening to this album? Russell, what do you think? Rolling Well-Toned, Rolling Bone or Rolling Grown? It's Joni Mitchell. I don't know. Maybe this is a ignorant male thing. Some of the Joni Mitchell albums stuff Doesn't hit with me as well as maybe it should. We've heard how many Joni Mitchell albums so far. Is this three or four? This is the fourth. Fourth, yeah. So I think we've been a little critical Of times where we've had too many albums From one artist, seven amazing artists, Super influential and everything, But I didn't need a fourth one in the first 250. So I'm gonna say for me, this is Rolling Grown. I think it's too high on the list. Matt, what do you think? Rolling Well-Toned, Rolling Bone or Rolling Grown? Joni Mitchell. Same take.
[1:32:00]I think maybe I'm starting to think That maybe three albums for any artist on this top 500 Is maybe where it should be capped out at. Maybe some of them are like five, something like that. I agree. They should redo the list. Somewhere along there. Yeah. Cause then we can just be done, right? Cause we're not starting over. We're not starting over. We'll just go back and fill in the ones. Yeah. Undo the ones we already did. It's easy. Yeah. And have an emergency episode. Can't have four Joni Mitchell albums This high on the list, Let alone four on the entire 500 list. So I'm gonna say it's rolling. Grown should be lower, Which means it has a higher number. Exactly. Aaron, rolling going. Matt Russo. No, not even rolling going. I'm in bad spot right now. What do you think Rolling Roll told Rolling Bone Or Rolling Grown? Yeah. I think I'm the same. I would like to love this album. I would like to say I've listened to it a bunch
[1:33:00]And I really get it. And it misses me a little bit And it pains me to say that, But that's where I'm at. So it's a lot of Joni. So I'm gonna go rolling Grown. I just don't get it. Some of these, it's like influences. Some of it, it's like it started stuff. I don't, I just, Like I wouldn't recommend this album to anybody. I don't know. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect though. What? Shit. This album gets a rolling suburbone. Okay. The sprinklers in the grass. The sprinklers in the grass. This is literally, This album is about a change just like, You know, it's Joni going through A huge musical change, Just like When men move from the cities out to the suburbs, They change. They start doing suburban things. Listen, they got a huge model train set in the basement. They're taking care of their lawn. They're jacking off furiously in the basement When their family thinks they're playing with their trains Or taking care of the lawn.
[1:34:00]Next week, We continue what Aaron calls- We're gonna need you to laugh there, Just so I can rub this. I thought that was funny, but I wrote it. We're gonna continue what Aaron has called Ladies night. As we continue, Being an artist. Yeah, talking ladies. Next week, there's so many famous JJs. JJ McCarthy, future Hall of Fame quarterback. JJ Abrams, famous filmmaker. JJ Watt. Okay. When your girlfriend gives you a JJ. Okay, that's a jam job. Can't explain it right now Because Russell doesn't want to have a long episode, But it's a jam job, Russell. And then there's the JJJ. That's when JJ McCarthy gives you a jam job. Ah, my hams, my ankle. He gave a JJJJ so hard.
[1:35:00]You heard his ankle? Yeah, spring. Yeah, JJ McCarthy. No, don't even, I wouldn't even tell you If JJ McCarthy and JJ Watt both gave you a jam job. I can't even get into that right now. We're talking about the famous member Of Russell's favorite club, the 20, what, Russell? Here's a question. Let's say I was like a shitty co-host for a few weeks. Oh, what? And you like asked me not to be on the podcast. Would you tell all our listeners That I had a high ankle sprain for many weeks or not? I would, no Russell cover for something. Russell, no, you're the only one Who's famously gotten sick on the podcast. Russell is out again this week With a high ankle. Yeah, listen. Okay, listen. Next week, we've got the member Of the 27 club, Janice Joplin with Pearl. When you wanna hear about the great things of all time. Oh, there was a discussion with the lady Next to the cocktail, by the way,
[1:36:00]Something that should never happen in a cocktail class And I'm upstairs, roommate, you're listening to this. No politics talk at a cocktail class. I almost threw a shit fit. There was too much politics. And then eventually they got off the politics Because they started talking about musicians Who died early with the discussion Of what Asian Elvis died. And then they got into the 27 club, Rob, Who's been to the bar, this guy. Did you do the bit about Elvis eating The bagel on the toilet? Then if you're dying, the first thing you try To do is flush the bagel so nobody sees it. I don't know, that's just what I'm thinking. I would flush that so fast. That's like, to me, that's like a drink six thing, for sure. It's time to say. Hey, Russell, can we do a little role playing right now? Yeah, please. Okay, I'm your Ubu driver. I'm picking you up. Which one? At the bar. Hello, sir. I have about six of them today. Hello, sir. Oh yes, I can see that, sir. Why don't you hop right in my car? I see you're going right from this bar,
[1:37:00]Right to the ice cream parlor. Well, right, so I'm gonna drive you Right over to the ice cream parlor. Sir, do you want me to wait outside Until you get some ice cream? Oh no, we're sitting inside. We're gonna chill in the ice cream parlor. All right, good luck, sir. I hope you get to eat your entire ice cream That it is. Well, I'll have the coffee then. Okay, well, I'm gonna order the one with extra jam Because you'll never believe what I got in this car with me. Well, that wasn't appropriate. What?
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