Joni Mitchell: The Hissing of Summer Lawns (1975)

[00:00]uh just to let everybody know i have changed our zoom view to immersive view where it looks like we're sitting in a theater the four of us next to each other russell you're too low get up here a little bit all right so i'm too look what we're doing to this immersive view uh rob i do like how this view doesn't show the background it's a little more erotic for me that you guys can't see wow what's going on in the background that's true what's going on with your voice guess what's going on there could be anything i will say it does look like it's weird though because we're in a movie theater in the zoom and yet the movie theater is behind us somehow so somehow we're facing away

[00:34]from the screen it's like if people walked into a theater we just look at them like hey you're here to see jurassic park new world not us we bought the cheapest tickets we didn't realize they face backwards my bad in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums is decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back i just realized i was at

[01:02]a party where there were mushrooms i didn't take any oh what was i thinking i know you're an idiot i didn't even think about it i could have one mushrooms and any mushroom you would take that party is a mushroom that a kid couldn't take so really you're saving the kids if you're sitting by the door i should have taken them on the way okay they're like sitting they're like just sitting out on a platter for people to take or not they were in a little baggy like edibles so it's just like a little bag of mushrooms and they're like oh my god i don't know what to do i could not i could not go to someone's house and be like oh i'm gonna open up the little ziploc bag

[01:34]no it was like labeled and it was like labeled and everything like you know greenies or whatever the hell they call it what are you doing that i don't know it just occurred to me russell you could wait another half hour right aaron's got to go back he's got to walk back yeah exactly i was just trying i was focused on getting in and out of there i was delivering my gift and coming home you would have to i would to not have taken the mushroom free mushroom this continues our run

[02:01]of five female artists in a row or as aaron calls it ladies night yeah talking ladies you know what uh i have a quick question for you rob yes so it was probably a couple months ago and the upstairs room he was going out with some of her friends and i was like happy for she's going out gonna have a fun night so one night i was in the

[02:30]kitchen and she came walking and i started blasting that song ladies night i was like getting her in the mood so go out and have some fun then i realized wait is ladies night like it's a male singer so is it is it a ladies night like ladies are getting out going out and have fun or is it like guys are going out to like intrude on ladies night now i'm confused about what the point of the ladies night song like what whose perspective is it from okay it's ladies night it's ladies night oh what a night and the feeling's right girls

[03:02]girls you got the one a night that's special everywhere from new york to hollywood it's ladies night and girl the feeling's good romantic lady single baby sophisticated mama come here you disco ladies stay with me tonight yep it is it is from a men's point of view so it should not be played as like a like a uh a women's anthem yeah it is it's like a like a uh a women's anthem yeah it is it is like a creepy song yes it is cool and possibly the gang

[03:30]are going out to bars on ladies night and trying to hang out with ladies and wanting them to stay with them russell you've solved the mystery russell's like a perverted song detective he's figuring these things out the sherlock holmes of perverted songs oh that's for sure pretty perverted from 1975. if you if you do this if you lick your finger and hold it up in the wind you'll know which way the song is going you don't just no you don't just lick one side russell you lick all the sides because then you can feel which side gets cold oh it's okay oh russell oh russell is holding his licked

[04:04]finger up to the camera so just to let everybody know we should just let everybody know aaron was just at a party and he was talking about how many deviled eggs he ate russell sent us a text about five hours ago it's saying i am very drunk basically i am not i might not be able to make the podcast recording i said there's a 49 chance i was gonna be passed out and if i didn't make it you guys should proceed without me wow so man and i show up and we're like what are we doing like

[04:33]what are we doing with our lives that we're just hanging out we're not babysitting the kids this weekend so i gotta he's gonna be around he's a real hero he's teaching the children am i the loser of the podcast oh my god i can't handle that also i have one other comment aaron with his white beard looks like a professional baseball manager that's like a shitty manager but he's like got the cool beard so he doesn't like him you know what i'm saying yeah he does he looks like a guy it's

[05:00]like it's fully white isn't it yeah it's a great looking beard it's like oh i remember i remember when that guy played he was pretty good but boy is he a shitty manager man name something a shitty manager would do uh not but no okay we're not doing this again 12th inning for me it's going to From 1975, we have the hissing. You finally tagged Yamamoto with Bledito and you just give him an out? Don't you think he wanted you to give him an out? I am editing out the baseball content this time, I swear to God.

[05:30]Yeah, because it really worked well last time when you edited it out. Good call. From 1975, we have the hissing of summer lawns, which is not what Aaron's neighbors heard when he was staying in the garage for that while. Oh, I like it. Oh. Yeah, they heard and I don't have a joke here, but I'm going to put it in later. It just says, insert French drain joke here. Insert French drain joke. And what I mean by that is that Aaron inserted himself in his French drain and I have to make a joke about that. That's what the neighbors heard. Just me? I love pumping my

[06:00]French drain. Honey, he's out pumping the French drain again. All you got to do is put in somebody peeing at a urinal for a minute and a half. That's Aaron at the French drain. That reminds me of that time when I was at that bachelor party and I was peeing outside the porch of this Airbnb. We ended up sleeping at and I hear, oh gross. I realized it's a it's a bunch of porches right in a row and I was peeing off the porch and the guy next to me was on his porch having his morning coffee

[06:30]and I've always thought about that. I'm like, what a bummer. Just imagine tomorrow you wake up, you go out and you're like, ah, I'm to enjoy my morning coffee in the woods of northern Minnesota and then just a random 300 pound stranger next to you is just peeing and it's the yellowest stinkiest pee because he is not at any water the last three days. I think he's staying at a campsite for God's sake. Rob, this goes out to the upstairs route or the not the complimentary movie guys when we grew up. Oh yeah, when we grew up there was this kid named Dane and he was kind of one of the like, I don't know

[07:01]if you'd call him like a rebel like the kid who would always get in trouble type of thing and he was known for my next door neighbor. My next door neighbor growing up is one of the complimentary movie guys and this guy Dane once came over and peed on his porch like he peed on on the porch yes, and so we've always known that guy. We're not friends with him anymore but we always call him Dane peed the porch like that was his last name Dane peed the port but it wasn't peed on the porch was Dane peed the porch Dane peed the porch. Why? How did he get

[07:31]caught? Because this is pre-ring camera No, I think it was like we were sitting everyone was like playing football outside he was like standing up on the porch peeing on the porch. What? Dane peed the porch. I'd steer clear Dane if I were you. That's my advice to you. Rob, it's Dane peed the porch. Okay, I read again. I would stay clear of Dane peed the porch. Yes. When it comes to peeing on the porch. Who did it better? I got my brand new car today. I couldn't decide what to get but at least I got this Porsche.

[08:01]At least I know. No, wait a minute. Listen, imagine being the guy where there's there's at least like six people in the world that that's what they think of you as. This is the guy who peed the porch. They just remember you're Dane peed the porch. I've got three guys here who are ready to talk. Joni Mitchell. Okay. And Joni with an eye, by the way, I was trying to Google search this stuff is almost impossible to find. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, this year in Vegas

[08:31]take me to King's Corner for the dance. Do you want to dance? Wow. I've got Matt Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Good, Rob. I just want you to know life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Wow. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now, Aaron was talking to me, but I said this, not Aaron. Let's be very clear. This is what you know. This is what you know. It's gonna be really bad, but I don't want to attribute it to Aaron. I was telling Aaron that my wife and I have been trying this

[09:01]new sex position for a little bit. Yeah, I call it the bicycle. Okay. She's too tired. All right. Let's get to the voicemail. Oh, I forgot. Oh, yeah, you get a quote. Yeah, go ahead. I was just wondering if in France they kiss on Main Street. French where they kiss. How do they kiss like on French Street? I don't know. There's something there. I played it again because I think it's so funny. All right, here we go. Oh, God. Now the volume's down. Aaron, you screwed me up. What?

[09:30]Let's start the show over. Leave me alone. Oh, no. Russell's over behind. Let's play our voicemail. Hey, guys. I just had to let you know that the other day during my long distance run that I was doing at the St. Olaf Natural Lands, I was like, oh, I'll just turn on the Back to It Better podcast. Like, what better to run to? It'll be fun. It'll be entertaining. It'll take the entire

[10:01]time while I'm running. I gotta say right now, what is your guys' thought? He can't do it. He can't even let a whole voicemail go. He's gotta get in there. Is this a current St. Olaf student? Yes. She finally figured out how to say St. Olaf instead of St. Olaf. And I'll tell you what. Good work. This is the second person who was called and said that they listen to us when they're working out. What is your guys' thoughts of listening to Back to It Better when you're working out? It's a good time killer. You're too funny, Rob. If I'm putting anything over my head, I can't do it. That's right, Aaron. Unless you're trying to get

[10:31]10 sets of ha-ha's in. This is not the podcast to listen to. Okay? If you're trying to do 10 minutes of getting your jollies, this is good. Okay? Other than that, no good. Russell, you listening to this and going for a run? I could say, I would say more of going for like a walk. Yeah. Let's do it in the morning, go for a walk. Walk is good. Walk is more our speed. Running. And I turned on the Pink Floyd Piper at the Gates, whatever.

[11:00]I love Pink Floyd, but that is not my favorite album. I agree with everything you guys said. But I turned it on, and I was like, okay, this is going to be awesome. And I'm going through my run, and then I get to like that part in the run where I'm just like, I'm kind of dying. My stomach hurts a little bit. I kind of feel like I could puke. It was a tough run. And then you guys start talking about food poisoning. It was awful. It was so bad. I was actively trying to not puke.

[11:30]That was rough. And you guys are talking about diarrhea and cramping and bad food. Hashtag United States. It was really bad. So I just had to share. Just like, don't go on a run and listen to Beck Did It Better Ever. You never know. It could be about food poisoning. But that seems like it took her mind off the run. To me, part of great running content is something that will take your mind. It puts your mind on something else to where that next half mile

[12:02]is just done, and you didn't even realize you were struggling. You're thinking about something else. But I don't think us talking about a guy reaching into the backseat of his car as he's driving home to eat more Famous Dave's and then getting violently ill almost immediately is going to help take your mind off the pain of running. I think it's just going to make it worse. You know what I mean? Rob, did you see the hashtag? The entire Cal women's field hockey team got food poisoning from an old spaghetti factory in North Carolina and missed the ACC

[12:31]tournament. They had to start their four string goalkeeper. I don't. It just happened this week, like the entire team got food poisoning from old spaghetti factory. Oh, my God. Raleigh, Durham or wherever. Can you imagine Durham? And I'll tell you what barfing of spaghetti noodles, one of the worst things you can barf up because they just keep coming. They're so long. You're like, oh, I thought it was funny when I was sucking these down before. It's not funny now when I got to pull these things out of my mouth like a tape. Also, can we just talk for one moment?

[13:01]So this person is a I'm assuming this is an 18 to 20 something year old lady. No idea who goes for long runs, listens to this podcast and also just tosses out like, oh, I like Pink Floyd, but that's not my favorite album. This is a one of one. Person like, I don't know what the hell demographic is this? This is a Venn diagram. Yeah, this might be our new super fan. For sure. I mean, this is bananas. Have you guys is this not this? Somebody is not related to you, Rob? Oh, no, they're related to you.

[13:30]Yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah. OK, all right. Absolutely. OK, that makes sense. Yeah, that's why. Excuse me, somebody going for a long distance run around St. Olaf. Obviously, they're related to me. Rob, what is the longest run you did at St. Olaf? Oh, it's time to say. It's at St. Olaf. Yeah, it's time for. I think when Jenny and I were first here, it was it was adorable. I know I legitimately got out. I got to get back. I've never done a lot of running in my life either. Like, I don't think I ever ran at St. Olaf. No way. Like on an intramural, maybe.

[14:02]But I don't ever like went for a run. If it was like nine o'clock, nine o'clock, that was embarrassing for all you try to do your long distance run and listen to this episode right now. Hey, hey, enjoy this. Nine o'clock. Nine o'clock, bitch, it's a clock. If I knew if it was nine o'clock and I knew my roommate came back from class at ten thirty, I'd be like, oh, I got to sprint home. I only have forty five minutes to jerk it. I don't have time to stop at the pause.

[14:32]Yeah, well, wait, do you drink at the bus? You get chicken figures first. Rosie, Roland, go on. How's it going with you? I thought it was I was more of a grilled cheese guy at the pause. If I remember right. Oh, that's good. Oh, great. I mean, they made it. They made grilled cheese. No, it wasn't the pause. It was the other spot. Oh, the lion's den. Russell's thinking of the lion's den. The big thick slices. So just to let you know, in our student center, we had a restaurant upstairs called the Lion's Den that you could use. We got money our senior year where it's just an account.

[15:00]Credits, if you will. Yeah. Do you think Rob blew through these credits almost immediately or did I save them and use them throughout the year and I was rewarded at the end of the year? Yeah, no, the correct answer is I blew them all. And it was actually the right move because so many people at the end had so much money, they were still buying me chicken fingers. Hey, Rob, can you repeat that again? I'm going to repeat that. What did you do, Rob? Rob, I'm going to hit record on something. What did you do with those credits? I used them. No, you blew them all, you said. Oh, I blew them all. Okay, all right.

[15:30]We're good. One more time. Yeah, we need that sound clip. You know what, Russell? I've decided this. Hold on. We all can't be talking. We need Rob. Just Rob with all the distractions in the background. I would be terrible at giving blowjobs. No. There's no way. I have one of the weakest mouths. No, what do you mean? Like, if a milkshake gets too thick. Forget about it. Scooping it. I think that sound clip is going to work great on like the Boyz II Men episode or something. BBC DDD. Man, look up when Seal's coming. East Coast Bad Boyz. Aaron, rolling on. How's it going with you?

[16:00]Ah, shit, guys. It could be going better. I mean, we've talked a little bit about how my day has gone already. I went to a party tonight for my friend, Andrew, and did not partake in the mushrooms that were there. I did get into some deviled eggs. Which were delicious. Nah, you're not being serious. I'm being serious. I ate the deviled eggs. You're not being serious. They had one with bacon on top and one with smoked salmon on top. Oh, fancy deviled eggs. All of a sudden, everybody thinks it's a good idea.

[16:30]Actually, Aaron and I are both team deviled eggs. Aaron, how old is this person that is having a birthday party? Is it a birthday party? Yeah, he's a man about town. He's 42, 43. They throw parties for everything. Like, there's always, like, his wife throws him a birthday party every year, a bunch of people show up. It's loud as fuck in there. It's too hot. A couple that leaves mushrooms in a baggie at a party does sound like a couple that throws quite a few parties. Like, it sounds like they know what they're doing on the party. But it was branded. It was like, it looked like a bag of edibles that you would get from a dispensary.

[17:00]It had the label on it and everything. Not just in a baggie. Oh, I'd be macro dosing. Aaron, was there any people at this party that knew about the podcast? Like, was there listeners there? Great question. Several of them, yes. No, no listeners. Many people that I've told about the podcast, and then they say, like, oh, yeah, you told me about that podcast thing. Never once ask you the name. That happened to me again. Once again, I brought up the podcast, and they did not ask a name. And I'm like, why do I keep doing this? It's devastating. I went out to a show on Thursday with a guy in the neighborhood.

[17:30]And we were chatting up beforehand. And I was telling, like I tell you guys, like, I go out too much. I have too many different-- because I have all these different friend groups. And I said, and I also like to make time to see my buddies from my podcast. He's like, oh, yeah, remind me what the name of that thing is. Go ahead, Matt. Wow, he asked the name? Did he do the Russell method? Write it down, and then throw it away immediately. I got to add, maybe this is the way my brain thinks. And so I apologize. But 42, 43 are older adults.

[18:00]I'm putting them in the older category. They're not young adults anymore. They're getting middle aged to older. Love having parties. Love having the heat turned up at their parties. I love where this is going. You're wondering where the socks went? It's got to lead to something a little later on, right? Yeah, I've never stayed-- no, actually, no. I had-- I did stay-- I did once stay till the end of a party there. You did? Yeah. Did it turn into an RG?

[18:30]No. Oh. Thanks for killing-- No, it was-- I went to hear a mayoral candidate talk. No, they also have-- Oh, no. And then I stayed too late. A mayoral candidate? Yeah, he didn't win. But they went to-- they had him come talk at the house. I don't-- Aaron, I don't think anyone in the-- there's no mayoral candidate in the history of the world that's just gone to a party and then won an election. No. Yeah, perhaps not. Yeah. I'll tell you what. If I was at an RG, and they were like, wait a minute. We've got to take a quick pause.

[19:00]We're going to listen to this mayoral candidate, I'd be like-- Well, see some fancy name, like the make it a great day party, you know, kind of a thing. Like there's always like the 17 people that-- Four, four, it's seven years ago. The rent is too damn high. It's a nice party. Rob, I used that line tonight, because I was talking to someone whose husband runs a brewery, and she was saying she went to the grocery store and was like, the beers are too expensive. I was like, I know, the rent is too damn high. And they are, it's like five bucks a can. Wow. Aaron, are you the only guy at the party

[19:32]that's like a corporate America guy or not? Like that works in like big business or-- No, like in my neighborhood, it's like a bunch of people who like work at Databricks and stuff like that. So no, it's very-- it's very like-- Or it's like some guy who's like, oh, well, yeah, I'm not working right now, but like it's fine. I might start a company or whatever. Like, it's weird out here. It's a lot of that stuff. But no, I'm very-- I definitely like have the most boring job. And in fact, I try not to talk about my job. I think a guy asked me tonight, like, what do you do for work?

[20:01]And I was like, I got to run away. I'm out. Like, I got to find-- I got to find the people. It's the worst thing. That's the-- we've said it 17,000 times in this podcast. Don't ask people what they-- if you're at a party, do not ask somebody what they do for a living. Tell you what, I told you I was at Gay Hibachi the other day. I was sitting next to a guy, didn't know him at all. I said, hey, you look like you like to travel. You got any travel plans? He goes, yeah, I haven't had sex in two states, Alaska and Minnesota. And I'm going to Alaska next month. He said-- and I was like, oh, why are you going--

[20:30]I said, oh, why are you going up to Alaska? He goes, to have sex with somebody. I was like, whoa, you're like committed. And then he pulled out an app where he had marked every place where he had sex. He goes, oh, this is Italy. And he had it down to like, I don't know what villages or whatever. I don't know what the unit is in Italy. He's got a cabin on a lake, and he's got a pontoon. So just come on up in the summer and-- Oh, lay the pipe. He wasn't-- you know what? He saw me try to catch the shrimp in my mouth. And he was like, no, I don't need to come to Minnesota. Don't worry about it. Rob, how long would it take a gay man to get laid at your cabin?

[21:00]Like a week? Or could he do it in like a week? No, he-- this guy-- because I said-- I don't mean by you. I'm just saying, if he was like, I'm going to go have sex around his cabin. Excuse me, by me? I mean, you would need to be seduced. I know. You would need to be seduced. Yeah, I would need to be-- oh, can you rub my shoulders? OK. Grab your balls. Time to grab your balls, or however it starts. I don't know. The tough thing about him trying to seduce Rob at Rob's cabin is sometimes Rob does disappear when you're at his cabin for like five hours to quote, unquote, like, roast a beef or something whenever he's doing it over there.

[21:31]I was smoking polo backwards. Roast a beef. Listen. Sorry, guys. I'm going to go roast this beef. I said the same ignorant thing, Aaron, where I was like, well, how do you find guys to sleep with so fast? And he looked at me like I was. Dumbest fucking human being in the world. And he goes, apps. And I go, oh, yeah, that's right. You guys are just fucking on these apps. I was like, goddamn, I'm old. I totally forgot about that. Just dogs. All right, Aaron, go ahead. Keep going. I don't know. I coached soccer today, and I could have done better.

[22:01]It was the U9 rec soccer tournament, and I-- This means Aaron-- I know Aaron so well to know that this means he got overcompetitive, probably yelled at some kids, like, for something that they didn't deserve to be yelled at. Like, I can see through Aaron's soul, like you guys can. I can see it. But my thing is not getting overcompetitive, because we're in the rec league, and we already are not great. But-- OK, I'm turning off the Shakira video, because, oh, now we're

[22:32]looking at the podcast stats. To go from Shakira to the podcast stats is one of the most jarring things I've ever had in my life. That is midnight to 6:00. But no, my thing is, like, this shit is religion to me. Like, I went to the grocery store yesterday to pick up oranges, bananas, dried fruit. Last night, I stayed up making quesadillas. You're putting too much into it. You're putting too much into it. And I'm sending messages to the team. And then today, I'm telling the boys, like, if you live to be 100, like, you're not going to have this day again ever in your life.

[23:00]And then, like, eight minutes into the first half, my son-- like, I turn around, and there's a kid crying on the bench, and it's because Wallace pinched him too hard. And I was just like, what is going on? Yep, you're expecting the Ronnie Lodge. I did not cut off my finger crew. And I was like, you guys, like, you got to look around. Like, this weekend is about being there for your team and each other. You got to pick each other up if you're down. And one kid goes, oh, I'm legitimately moved. I was like, come on, Nico. Like, don't do me like that. Brutal.

[23:30]Kids can be so brutal. And Aaron, I'll tell you what, you cannot-- this is coming from a teacher. Kids do not have the same brains that we do. They do not have the same brains. They do not think the same way. For you to say to them-- to them like, hey, this is going to be a great-- that is an old guy thing to say. Like, this is a great day in your life. They're like, no, it's not. Look at me, I'm an old guy. No, it's not. Yeah, they're like, I got so many more days than you. You know what I mean? Like, I walked into a room the other day, you know what a kid said to me? What's going on with your hair? That's brutal.

[24:00]Fair question. Yeah, it is a fair question. It's right. My growing out my beard to just look crazy is not working. And legit, Aaron, I guarantee, let's just say there's 10 kids. Just for simple math, nine of them, this is about the last thing on their list that they want to be doing today is playing soccer, kind of a thing, you know? I mean, they're not bad, but like, if you had to say-- They play video games, yeah. Yeah, let's add the top three things we want to do today. Going to play soccer is not going to be it.

[24:32]Can I tell you something that's helped me with my teaching, Aaron, because you can imagine, what you experienced today-- Yeah, GPT. What you experienced today is what I experience. I experience that every day. Where I'm excited about something, and I tell a kid, and they look at me like, I'm an idiot. So instead, what you have to do is, instead of just trying to get them inspired, just compliment them. All you have to do is compliment the kids. You just say, hey, you did a great job out there. Hey, awesome job, I'm so proud of you, good job. Okay. Just, and of course you're not. Just do that.

[25:00]You lie all the time, but if you do that, they just-- I was proud of them today. They go away feeling good about themselves. We lost two games today, but I told them I was proud of them. But now we're in the situation where we lost two games today, and there's a third game of the game. The tournament tomorrow that's entirely inconsequential, but we have to show up and play it. Oh my God. That's where we're at. So you won't get a trophy? No trophy. Or you still get a trophy? No trophy. Were you really proud of them? Hell yeah, I was proud of them. They battled, man. Like, they were down, and they fought back. They battled. They battled. They never came up. Can we get the mic, Tice?

[25:30]Battling, and battling, and battling. Hey, Matt. All right, that's enough out of me. How's it rolling going with Russell? Rolling going, things are going well. Today I went to a-- Oh! --cocktail class at 1:00 PM. Oh! What is the-- First question. You're still going. What is the appropriate time for a cocktail class? 3:00 PM. 8:00 PM. They never do it by 8:00 PM, though, Matt, because they're doing them at bars, where they're not going to take up a bunch of room.

[26:00]I know, that's why I've never been to one. Russell, can I tell you a secret? Yes, sir. Last weekend, I was at a 3:00 PM cocktail class, right downtown Manhattan. I was absolutely blasted. I was blasted by 4:30. I had made like three huge drinks by 4:30. I was gone, Russell. But that doesn't seem to have happened to you. Tell us what happened. So I went to a distillery in Northeast Minneapolis. I'm going to highly recommend this spot. Earl Giles is the name of this distillery. They do monthly cocktail classes.

[26:30]And this one was the owner, one of the two owners of the distillery that was bartending-- Where is that at, Russell? I'm trying to find that. I don't quite know if I know where that one's at. It's in Northeast, Matt. It's on the other side of the road. It's on the other side of the river, off of one of those roads in Northeast. What does it do with North-- because Northeast kind of feels like it's west of some stuff, but it's not in the East. Broadway. Yeah. You guys cannot do Northeast directions. This is like the second week in a row where you've totally failed at Northeast directions. It's over by like Indeed Brewing, Matt, Able Brewing, Central, the Mexican restaurant somewhere over there.

[27:02]Russell's comparisons are other brewers. So this is one of these cocktail classes. So I've been to multiple types of cocktail classes. West of 35. Yep, I guess. Somewhere you-- East of the river. --make your drinks. Like, they've got a set up for you to actually pour. And somewhere you just sit and drink and have fun. This was a sit and drink and have fun. But here's a couple keys that you guys will like this. They brought out multiple rounds of food during the cocktail class. So some sort of fried chicken and salad

[27:30]very early on in the cocktail. So they got food right off the bat. That sounds good. Then, Rob, they bring out about 10 pizzas. There is pizza. From like the 45-minute to the two-hour mark. So there's pizza sitting out there for an hour plus. And at one point-- That's a sign of a place that's been-- had too many very drunk guys there. They're like, we've got too many drunk guys. We need 40 pizzas. Oh, that Quincy Street. That's a great spot. Yes, Matt.

[28:00]Yeah, there's some of those old-- yeah, great spot. Kind of like a warehouse. There's the ice cream shop right by there. Yeah. Awesome spot. But so we're there. And the pizzas are there. And at one point, he was talking about cocktail. He was talking about cocktails and something about-- like sometimes the best cocktail is the simplest thing, just like a cheese pizza that made me think of you guys. Wow. Because you talked about how sometimes, Rob, as you call it, a plain pizza is the best way to go. So I was going to give you a shout out there. So what's a plain cocktail then? It's like a martini?

[28:30]Well, he was talking a little bit-- we got into what is an old-fashioned. So you guys, what do you think an old-fashioned is? Rob, maybe you know because you went to bartending school. I'm going to hit you with this. I'm going to say it's some sort of rye or bourbon. No brandy. No, you're incorrect. It's spirit, sweet, and bitter. That's it. And water, Aaron, which is usually ice. Ice. Wow. So there you go. So you could make a vodka old-fashioned? Yeah, he was saying it's a spirit.

[29:01]Yeah, it can be that. So he made a rum old-fashioned. It was absolutely fantastic. But so we get there. Here's a cool thing. There is already a cocktail at your spot. Wow. OK. A rum punch is very like a seasonal drink. It's in a big punch bowl and everything. Great way to start a cocktail class, right? You sit down. You don't have to listen to the guy talk for 20 minutes. There is already a drink at your spot. What do you guys think about that? I love it, Russell. I think it's a must-have when you come in.

[29:31]You have to have that drink right away because I'll tell you what. When you go into these classes, the people you're going in with, you're like, these guys are fucking losers. I'm never going to talk to these guys. I need a drink to talk to these people. They're absolute losers. And by the end, you are talking to them and you are having a great time. You tell them all about your podcast. Yeah. You are having a great time. That's exactly what happened to us last Saturday. We went in. They had drinks there. Now, of course, I did go to a class where I actually got to make the drinks, Russell. Yeah. I'm more of a doer. I'm more of a grower. Yeah.

[30:00]But you're right, Rob. So we get there. Sure. And this Earl Giles is a great spot. I'm going to recommend this for all of our Minneapolis listeners. It's for Brian from East St. Paul if he ever needs like a date night spot. Super fun place to go. Yeah. Indeed's right over there. Yeah. Great location. But I will also throw this out. They said they actually shut their bar down for like a week to decorate it for the holidays, do like a jingle ball type, like where the whole thing's done up. And I've heard it's amazing, so people should all go check it out. I highly recommend it. But you're right, Rob.

[30:30]We get there. We walk in and there's like four people sitting at a table. We say we're at the cocktail club. Hey, just wait over here. We'll bring you guys all up. And when you sit down initially, it's a quick high, but there's no chatting about what cocktail classes or what your favorite bars are, none of that stuff. But once you get up, it usually takes about the two and a half cocktail mark where everyone there is your greatest friends of all time. Right? Yeah. Two and a half. Two and a half will do it.

[31:00]Two and a half will do it. We got to hang out next weekend. Yeah. You're better friends with the people next to you than like any of your friends for the last 20 years. Right? It is true. Are you invited to a Japanese whiskey tasting? No. No. Aaron, we don't talk about that. Did you make any plans? What size are these original cocktails? I'm like one and a half cocktails that I've done for the day kind of a thing. So are they smaller pours or do they give you a full- Man, I've got a perfect answer for you. They are full-size cocktails. There's a reason I was almost passed out.

[31:31]And typically at these things, you're right, Matt. They'll do a smaller thing. This guy, he's the owner and he was clearly winging it. Usually you get to these and they've got like a menu, like a printed out menu with all the ingredients, like some of you could take home. But this Earl Giles place, they do a lot of- Glasses. I don't know what you would call it. Elixirs. Where they're constantly mixing things into premixed bottles.

[32:00]And that's a big part of what they do. People go in there and can do custom drinks where you- They'll bring you back into their room and you can kind of make your own custom elixirs, make your own drinks. They work with a lot of people creating stuff. But these are full-size cocktails. And the guy winging it, he goes, "So here's what we're going to do. We're going to do at least five cocktails." So we ended up doing seven, I believe. What? Are you fucking serious, Russell? Seven full-size drinks. How are people standing at the moment? I don't know.

[32:30]Seven? After seven, I'd be like, "I know I wouldn't be good at sucking dick. I just would be bad at it. Even right now, my jaw is tired. Look at my tongue. That's all I can do with it." But they did a great job. The drinks were really good. The other thing the guy did, and you guys will like this. There was a point he was talking about Fernet, I think it is, Rob. I don't know if you know what. It's some sort of liqueur, right? Yeah. Leonard Fernet. Yeah, it's an Amaro.

[33:00]It's like a bartender's handshake, kind of. He was talking about this type of thing, and he poured a little bit in a little drink, and he was passing it around, and I was like, "Ah." I tried it, and it wasn't for me, and I just said, "Ah, it's not really for me." It kind of tastes like root beer schnapps or something like that. I did not like it. But he looks at me and goes, "I don't really like this stuff either." Then he goes over and he pours a drink out of the tap. It's their house-made sarsaparilla.

[33:30]He brings it over to me and he says, "Try this with it." Wow. He poured me a specific drink, not in front of the whole group, but he literally gave me a drink that nobody else got, Aaron. Oh, yeah. That's special. That's good stuff. There's some ladies in groups next to us, and they're super excited. I get to pass it down. They get to try it and everything. What do you guys think of the bartender calling you out and kind of giving you the special? How do you not love that, right?

[34:00]You're going to be back. That's an all-time moment because you know, "Hey, this guy thinks ..." You know what it's like, Russell? What's that? It's like if you go to a strip club and one of them actually likes you. I know it's actually a joke, but it actually could happen, too. They really like you. Russell, this bartender liked you more than the other people. He thought you were the best there. That's what it's like, Russell. Congratulations. I'm so jealous. It's like when you get an onion ring in your fries. You know what I mean? They know. Two other things I was going to mention about this.

[34:30]At the end of this, I thought the guy did a great job. He was super engaging. Rob, he did a great job of making himself the star, but also backing off and let people having fun when people needed to have ... Oh, that's not easy to do, man. Rob's right. He's not talking over people when people are having fun. Rob's right. He's taking a step back and letting people be drunk and enjoying it and not needing to be the center of attention. I'll tell you what, Russell. That's not an easy thing to pull off. Oh, I guess it is, Rob. That's not an easy thing to pull off all the time. It's tough to do, to know when to kind of lay back in the cut and sometimes-

[35:02]I'm getting a phone call from upstairs. Hold on. Put it on speaker. Hello? Put it on speaker. Yeah, please. Just put it on speaker. Speaker. Hello? Come on. Russell. He's not lying. He really isn't. I'm down here doing it right now. Rob. What you think you're doing, Russell? What is she doing? Supposedly, the upstairs roommate got a text that I need to go down to do the podcast. Who sent her a text? Wow, who could have sent that? Anyway- Yes, I'm doing it now. I'm going to let you go.

[35:30]Who would have her number? Who has her number? Now it's time for me to step back. I'm going to step back at this point. I'm going to be just like the bartender. Yeah, so one of you guys obviously texted the upstairs roommate. But yeah, think of how intoxicated I am right now or barely alive. And imagine if you were someone like half my size and you went to this cocktail class with that many drinks. Would you survive or not? I'm just done. No. I mean, I have one full on hazy IPA.

[36:01]I know Joe from East St. Paul, he famously hates hazy IPA. Hates them. I love them. And I have one of those. They're like a 7/8 or a 8/2 or a 6/9 kind of a thing. I have one of those and I'm ready to go to bed for the night, let alone two of them. But it really floors me. I could not imagine having five cocktails, Russell, at one in the afternoon. And then being where you're at right now. Yeah. And you're still up. I'm so impressed. Russell, you went full Chamba Wamba. So we had a lager drink.

[36:30]We keep it going. We had a whiskey drink. Because if you go out at 1:00 and that's done at like 3:00, you don't go home. You stay out. No. No, you don't go home. You stay out. Yeah. Where'd you go next? Yeah. If you go home, you go straight to sleep. Yeah. So then we bounce around. We find a new spot to go to. Northeast Social we go to. We go to a new bar we've never been to before. Jesus. Oh, my God. Sweet. Sweet. So what do you order? Do you go cocktail? I went a cocktail. Aaron, it had like cocoa nibs in it. I don't even know what that is. But it was not a good drink. But it looked cool. But so this is where we- You know what, Russell? That's so weird because that's the name of the stripper that loved me is Coco Nibs.

[37:00]Coco Nibs? Yeah. She had the biggest toes. Russell, is this the one that's like just a little bit north of Broadway? Yes, sir. A little bit east of University? So you're going to get a little bit- Yeah. A little bit east of University. Yeah. A little bit east of University. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit west of University. So you're going to get- Yeah. A little bit west of where you were. So we're coming closer back to where we were at originally, Matt. Yeah. So we go there. And this is where we've got to make the decision like, I know we just had some pizza, but do

[37:31]we need to get more food? Because when you start- Wow. When you start having some drinks- Yeah. Right. You need more food. And so- Russell, yeah. You're probably about four good drivers away from your house at this- you're close to your house at this one. Yep. Very close. You're right. We should have a drink upstairs. Roommate maybe had a second drink and- Who's counting? But we're looking at the menu and we decide, ah, nothing jumps out on the menu. We're going somewhere else after this. We're going to get one drink and then we're bouncing again.

[38:02]Now we're going- It passed. Back, Matt, the other way. We're going to Black Duck. Matt, look up Black Duck. Give these guys the directions, please. And I just say this, every time in my life where I've looked over and Russ has been really drunk, I've been like, uh-oh. I've been hanging out with Russell all day and this guy's fucking hammered. Oh, you went north-north. So we go back the other way, Matt. You're getting closer to- yeah, you're going back north. So you got to head north on- what is this here? Is it University again? No, north on Central. Central. Wow. Yep. And then Central and 29.

[38:30]Over to Black Duck. So we go into Black Duck. We sit at the bar, get a few drinks, of course, get a couple of their specialty cocktails. And we order some food. One of these food items- Oh my God. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[39:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

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[94:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

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[95:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

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[96:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

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[97:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[97:30]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[98:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[98:30]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[99:00]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.

[99:30]I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink. I'm going to get a drink.