Beastie Boys: Check Your Head (1992)

[00:00]I want to ask you guys if you're in humidifier season right now, like I am, but I got to talk to Aaron about humidifiers. This is the first of a double header. If you got to ask Aaron, then save it. We can't do it twice. Skip it. Okay. Skip it. I don't know. A lot of people are asking, hey, can I have that humidifier talk twice? Guess what, you sick piggies? Save it. You only get it once. Okay. Just like, I can't even think of a clue. Just like Gargania. Oh, I'm going to save it. Oh, God, this is a disaster already.

[00:30]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by Rolling Stone magazine. I just realized I think that in part might be where I wake up Jenny every time. That's a bummer that the first word of the podcast is the one that wakes her up. Oh, well. If I were to compare you at MLB Closer, it wouldn't be Eric Gargania. It'd probably be Rod Beck. Remember him? He had the big mustache on the Giants. He kind of had like a little bit of a flowing, what do you call that haircut? The mullet. The mullet, yeah.

[01:00]Russell, you asked me if I remember Rod Beck. The answer is no. I have no idea who you're talking about. You don't know Rod Beck? Giants Closer? Hello. Hey, you want to buy this giant car? Well, I'm here to get it done. I'm a Giant Closer. Wait, are you a giant or are you selling giant cars? I don't get it. A giant Keira Sedgwick comes in. Hey, I'm the Giant Closer. Oh, my God. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, exclaimed the order, and led us to begin this podcast.

[01:30]We are all far from experts. I'm adding it in, and we promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Rod Beck did it better, closing out the ninth in meaningless games in the early 2000s. Why was San Francisco called the Giants? Why is their baseball team called the Giants? Well, they came from New York. They were the New York Giants, and they moved to San Francisco in like the 50s or 60s, right? But what's giant about New York? Buildings, maybe?

[02:00]I don't know. You tell me. You live there. Well, I do live in the Burj Khalifa. Isn't their football team called the Giants, too? Oh, my God. The football team is called the Giants. Why is it called the New York Giants? Matt. Put that in your vape pipe and take a big monster hit off of that one, Rob. Oh, my God. Can I show you guys this? This is no joke. So I showed these guys the other day. Guys, vape technology right now is out of control, okay? I wish, to be honest right now, I wish I was a 17-year-old kid. Maturing in this world of vape technology would be so great. Not only did I get a vape at the store the other day that has a double chamber.

[02:34]Look at this. There are two different strains. One is Maui Waui. And then look at this, Matt. You flip it on the other side. Rob's flipping over like a vape. Sour Diesel. But guess what? It's not one or the other, Russ. It's both at the same time all the time. You're going double barrel. No. Double barrel. Both barrels all the time. And then on the other side, there's a switch that says S&M. And I went on chat. GBT. GBT. You asked what it meant.

[03:00]And it means one is smooth. If you want just a tiny smooth hit. And one is M for monster. Okay? We're going Nicki Minaj on this bad boy if you want a monster one. And guess what, Russell? I only do the smooth. The monster's too big. It makes me cough. But let's try it right now. When you go, I got to ask while you're taking the monster hit. When you go, like, do you have to ask them to, like, bring out, like, multiple vape pens so you can examine them from behind the desk? Or how does that work? Russell, I can't take it. The monster hit was too much.

[03:31]That's a face I've never seen Rob do before. I've never seen that even. The monster at the beginning of the podcast. I mean, that was crazy. Listen, Russell, no. The way you do it is you have a little iPad and you go in. And then, but this place didn't even have one. So I just said, well, tell me what you got. And she goes, I've got one where it's two strains at once. And I go, yes, that's what I want. I was like, I've never had anything like this. This is like when you get, it's like, oh, do I want chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream? Hey, I thought all those vapes and everything were. We're getting like pushed out of your fair city.

[04:02]Or was that just. No, no, no. This is from a legal place. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. So I go in and it's very high tech. Like all the bodegas or whatever that just had it be sitting behind the counter. Those can't get them there. No. Yeah. Those places all got closed down, but I still buy my whippets there. So to make, but to actually make my whipped cream. We are up to album 261 and from 1992. You know what? You guys come out. We'll go on a trip together. It'll be fun. We're on the album that has Aaron wondering if he's a. Funky middle manager.

[04:30]Funky middle manager. He's a funky middle manager. He's not the funky boss. He's, he's got a funky boss, but he's kind of a funky middle manager. It's check your head by the BC boys. Okay. Oh, you know what? Russell, can I do an alternate take on that? Bring it. You want to want me to queue you up? Yeah, please hit it. Russell. This is like when the nurse shows up with chopsticks at school. You know what she's going to do? What's that? Check your head. You could have. You could have lice. Check your head.

[05:00]Yeah, you could have lice, Russell. I forget. You guys don't work in a school every year. There's a lice outbreak in the school and it's all we can talk about as teachers. Don't get middle school parents like aren't middle schoolers past lice. I thought that was like an elementary school thing. I work in a K through 12. So there is lice outbreaks in the lower school. And then all their siblings were like, oh my God, I just taught him an hour ago. Did you start itching your head? It's crazy. I've got, so let's, you know what guys, let's just get right into it. Let's turn on the radio. Let's see what's going on. Why mess around? This song is dedicated to everybody's favorite suburb to go out to get something to eat in.

[05:58]Out for a night on the town.

[06:00]So put us on the list. And then they went to sit down. And then they waited around half an hour. Turns out hostesses have all the power. She never even sat them in a section. The crazy thing is it's gave Russell an erection. He waited to get in the restaurant. But this is just what turns a Russell on. He likes it when he gets a boss around. He's treated like dirt, but that's exactly what he wants. It's been a half hour.

[06:31]It's not. Oh, that's so terrible. I'm going to bust. So I want to hear about the greatest. That was a song about how the hostess is not letting Russell in secretly goes Russell direction. Russell, we went out to Sarah and I put the boys home to play some video games. We went out to Red Cow last night. It was going to be 40 minutes. It was great. It was going to be 40 minutes. And I said, look, there's two spots in the bar. These people are getting up. Let's go. We jumped up five minutes in there.

[07:00]We got to the bar, sat at the bar, had a great time, had a 60, 40 burger. I sent you guys the recipe. Now, Aaron, it is time officially. Now, Aaron, you missed a song there. Russell and the hostess giving him an erection. But guess what? You have to listen to hear it here. And that's your punishment. You don't know. You don't get to read this. No, because right now we do have to play a quick game show. It's everybody's favorite game on the front end. The game show is where was Aaron? Aaron, what were you up to? We got to know. You know, it's everybody's favorite question.

[07:30]Oh, well, it's been a night. Anna was hosting a ladies cookie party. And so I was with my friend Garrett, who has some Minnesota ties. He's lived there, but now he lives here. And Garrett and I were babysitting our kids while the ladies were serving up cookies to some other ladies. Although there is a this is like they do this party every year and they advertise it. I don't think they explicitly advertise it as a mom's cookie exchange, but it kind of. It kind of is a mom's cookie exchange. Yeah, but every year one dad shows up the cookie exchange.

[08:03]Nice. And he was there again this year. So they were doing that and we were babysitting the kids and we did watch the Ohio State Indiana game. And then I have a new laptop. So I've been trying to get that set up. Go ahead. Oh, well, that's a fun. That sounds like a fun night. Matt, do you think we could add Rosie's wife at Gmail dot com to the back to the better host text chain? And then maybe she just let us know. And she doesn't. Doesn't have anything going on. And maybe we can record on those nights.

[08:32]Listen, I was free last night. I was I could have been on earlier last night. Someone else. I was up. I was up at five a.m. this morning. But guys, later in the podcast, you're going to find out how the my science Olympiad meet went. OK, we're going to find out. It's a little teaser. A little teaser. Some podcast hosts run around their house. Some podcast hosts run their house. Yeah, exactly. Podcast hosts that runs around his house. Hey, listen, my guests are still here. And I was like, you guys. No, they're. They're fucking not. They fucking are.

[09:00]Yes, they are. While you're recording this. Yes. I said I have to go. This is Aaron Holyrood. This is embarrassing. My rolling going is a draft of our favorite panties. Oh, God. Well, they can't hear me. Get those guests out of there. They're in the. I'm in the studio, man. No, I told him. I was like, I got to get in the studio. I love you guys. I'm out. Like, it's good. Yeah, because I know you're going to say the thong, but it's the two that come up, you know, like it's like, oh, it's like a thong, but then it's kind of going way out. Listen, I've got three guys here. Stop playing their instruments. I've got Matt in Minneapolis.

[09:31]Matt, how are you doing? Good, Rob. You're sweeter than a cherry pie with ready whip topping. Wow. Oh, wow. Thank you so much. Oh, ready whip. Is that out of the jar? Like the. That's the. Yep. That's the one. No, but that's the can. That's what I use all the time. What is the other one? I'm thinking of cool whip. I'm thinking of cool whip. Cool whip. We were. I'll tell you what. We were a big cool whip family growing up. Hello. Shocker. I think we've had a shocker. Oh, my God. Hey. You know what, Russell? For saying shocker to my cool whip family.

[10:01]Fuck you. Okay. Are you still a big cool whip house now? I think we've talked about this, right? No. He's got like a ninja that makes all this stuff for him now. Oh, right. He's got like advanced technology to make fancy whip cream. Guys, I have moved up in the world. We are now a big ready whip house. Okay. Wait. What's the difference? Tired. One comes out of a can. One comes out of like a bucket. Yeah. The jug that you always put leftovers in that you never know what's in there. You open up. God damn. One. You got to shake up and flip it upside down. Down and spray it. The other one is like a jug.

[10:30]Like a. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The jug. Like my grandma would keep like shortening in there. Yeah. Or there'd be like animal parts. Like, oh, there's bacon grease in that ready whip container. Yeah. I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Or I'm sorry. I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, I'm the long leaner. Russell, the cleaner. I'm the illest podcaster from here to Gardena. Wow. Yeah. That's the Russell. That was so good. Guys, we're kind of like the BC boys. We're beastly. Well, you know, if I was remember that show Beauty and the Beastie Boys where the BC boys

[11:08]lived in the sewer and dated Sarah Connor. You know what I mean? Like, did you guys see Sarah Connor on volume one of this season of Stranger Things? No. Sarah Connor shows up. Also, I had been out at the bar and they were showing Children of the Corn. Sarah Connor also in Children of the Corn. I did not realize that. So I've got I've had a lot of Linda Hamilton in my life lately. More than usual, which is already a lot.

[11:32]I've got Aaron out in California now. Aaron recently. Aaron's looking to make an investment. And he said, hey, how much would it cost to buy a singing ensemble? You know, a bunch of people that sing. And I said, you mean like a choir? And Aaron said, OK, fine. How much would it cost to acquire a singing? Aaron, how are you doing? Hey, what you want? I'm here trying to do this podcast with you guys. I do my best. All right. Let's get ready. Let's get right into the voice. And I appreciate that you really dug deep into the lyrics on this album.

[12:03]Yeah, you know, like you really pulled for that. Listen, you hang out with my kid for a while. See what kind of fucking listen. Hey, guys, let's check our heads. The kismet of Rob talking about giving blowjobs and the emails leaking about Trump blowing Bubba is chef's kiss. So this, of course, is from our number one fan, Magic Mike, who knows exactly how to get out of the air. Magic Mike 69. There was. Yep. There was a while ago. Where I was talking about whether or not I would be good at oral sex.

[12:30]And then almost immediately, the news comes out that there was a rumor that Trump was giving fellatio to Bill Clinton. Did you guys hear the rumor that Trump gave only on this podcast? I can't. Let's pick something else. Russell, this is real news. No, it's not. So what's the clock? What's the clock? Moving on. You guys are just going to ignore this voicemail. Now, let me ask you this. Did you ever see that picture of the two Detroit Lions fans? Because this is one of the funniest pictures in the whole world. And I won't show it to you where there's two guys who are Detroit Lions fans, and they're in the parking lot of the Ford Stadium.

[13:05]And one is eating the other guy's ass. Oh, God. It's one of the funniest. I'm just telling you, it's one of the funniest things that you're ever going to see in your whole life. Only because they were like, this Lions game is not going well. It's time. This is one of the worst games I've ever seen. I can't possibly imagine how this day could get better. Yeah. I do have one idea. But Aaron, rolling on. How's it going with you?

[13:30]I just, I don't even know where to begin after that. Look up the picture. It's one of the funniest things you'll ever see. I'm not going to do that. You guys, you would think you would think that it's been since what before Thanksgiving that we've gotten together. You would think I had thought carefully about what I want to say to you about my rolling going. But my kid put my brain in a blender today, so I'm doing my best. Yeah, he does that most Saturdays. But I do want to say I got a new, I have a new eggnog style.

[14:02]I want to hear about everyone else's eggnog style. Oh my God. Do I want to hear about your eggnog style? If I said no, I said, no, we don't have time. I don't want to hear about your eggnog style. Literally, our listeners would be cut in half. This is why people are here. Here's the thing. I love eggnog. I try to wait until Thanksgiving before I start drinking eggnog. Although this year you get a shorter window between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The window's not as long. I should have started earlier. And I do now drink eggnog with alcohol mixed in generally.

[14:33]And I've gone through a few iterations. We used to do some Captain Morgan. And then I've tried whiskey. And then I have tried tequila. Russell, I know Russell, you're not a tequila drinker. That's going to fuck. Aaron, can I just say this? If I came to your house and you're putting tequila in the eggnog, I think it would just become an intervention automatically. I think we would have to have a conversation about that. That's some hardcore shit to put in there. What if it's a tequila that has no label on it, too?

[15:01]It's from his tequila club. It's just a bottle with no label. Yeah, it's something that you normally see in a cowboy movie that they throw in the air and shoot. You know what I mean? It's one of those bottles. It's got a little age on it, a little caramel. It could work. And I finally settled last year or the year before. I finally settled on. Oh, goddamn. I got the worm in my eggnog. You know what I mean? That's not something you want to hear. Sorry, Aaron, but that joke could not wait. No, you got to do that. I had finally settled. Aaron, Aaron, it's just like when I was on the space station.

[15:30]Could not wait. Because you're because you're a list that joke, Aaron. I broke in. Not worth it. I'm going to do it right now. I had to jot it down. I'm bad in 500. That would be in the Hall of Fame. No doubt. Yes, I had settled on cognac and specifically for me, Hennessy last year in the in the eggnog. And then so you're a cognac guy, not a cognac guy. Oh, I guess I should say cognac, right? I do say just what you know, you just you've got your way of saying things.

[16:03]I have my ways. I don't know. I don't know. Things just whatever comes out, I don't know. That's a fair question, man. And I think actually there are a lot of there are a lot of people out there who think that Hennessy is not, in fact, the finest cognac, cognac, cognac. Now, Aaron, don't get in your head. Double question. And check your head to the finest cognac in the world. And I don't know if it is. I'm not I'm not a connoisseur of it. But. I do like it mixed in with the eggnog. But what I have what I've decided actually is what I prefer.

[16:31]I like a cognac with an eggnog chaser. I don't like I don't I don't want to mix them. I like to do a shot of cognac and a shot of eggnog. That's a nice little thing at the end of the night. When I'm watching crazy. When I'm watching Bill Murray's Very Murray Christmas, then I'm set. Like, I feel it feels perfect. I'm just good. I had a long stretch. I'd say like a two, probably two and a half year stretch where I. Was a Jameson neat and a water guy. I would just get like straight shots of Jameson, sip it or shoot it, drink water.

[17:03]Yeah, Aaron, what you do is like ten times more fucked than that. Yes, it's not even close. Can I can I just tell you, I'll just say I'll just say four words shot of eggnog. That's all you need to hear that that story is fucked. You could be doing anything. You could be like, oh, I rescued these orphans from a burning bus. And then I had a shot of eggnog. You'll be like, what the fuck? What are you doing? I think there's like they're nice mixed together, but you deconstruct it even better, man.

[17:31]It's just delicious. It's perfect. It's like, why not deconstruct it all the way? Get some milk. Get some. I'll get whatever else. Some eggs. Like, what is eggnog again? We have this conversation every year. What is eggnog again? It's milk and eggs. I've never made a pancake scratch. I think it's heavy cream and eggs. Maybe I've never actually made it. Okay. Eggnog. Inside question mark. Well, whatever it is, does not sound good for Rob's tummy. Yeah. I think it's good for Rob. Yeah. Eggnog inside. How about eggnog recipe?

[18:00]I'm completely out on any egg based. I don't mind like an egg foam, like a gin fizz or whatever those drinks are. But eggnog, Tom and Jerry's, those types of thick holiday drinks. I can't do it. I'm out on that stuff. Wow. Can't do it. I've never had a Tom and Jerry. I've heard people talk about the Tom and Jerry's recently, and that seems wild. I've never tried that one. That's like cookie dough on top of a. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff.

[18:30]I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff.

[19:00]I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. So I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff.

[19:30]I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I'm out on that stuff. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.

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[23:01]I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.

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[24:01]I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.

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