Jimi Hendrix: Are you Experienced? (1967) (... with Short Shorts?)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decide to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by

[00:04]rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the

[00:09]order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research

[00:14]all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better

[00:19]we are all the way up to album 30 this is one of the greatest debut albums of all times

[00:24]jimmy hendrix are you experienced and you know what guys i i have this uh i have this radio let's

[00:31]just try i don't know is there another bit we can do beside me turn on the radio no you gotta crank

[00:36]out then now that's we're stuck to i'm married to that bit now yeah well speaking of married

[00:40]bit to it i am going to start cranking up this radio for a while now but i have to do it quietly

[00:44]in the morning before i go to work all right so let's get to this here we go turn on k-rod

[00:51]i don't get it

[00:54]you

[00:54]listen everybody i got this cd in the mail from one aaron

[01:02]and the aaron experience it's a song about his least favorite appliance give it a spin

[01:09]oh yeah

[01:12]is that wash done baby

[01:17]whoa whoa whoa don't be so lazy yeah the laundry's halfway done now my

[01:24]clothes are clean and i'm ready to go

[01:24]my clothes are wetter take out my cycling shorts and my hand knit sweater

[01:28]i need to take out all my attire i don't like to use the dryer

[01:34]listen here feller there's only 10 verses i don't like shirts getting smaller

[01:54]my wife but i just don't care dry my clothes i like to use the air my bedroom ceiling is

[02:01]covered in wires yeah i use them instead of the dryer yeah and doesn't like to use the dryer the

[02:08]dryer's bad i can't stand it i dry by hand

[02:12]my many demands

[02:15]oh yeah baby

[02:18]when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time

[02:24]but you're just too lazy

[02:26]welcome everybody to the psychedelic davenport of love huh but here we are at beck did it better

[02:48]and today we are talking about jimmy hendrix's are you experienced and i'm here with three guys

[02:53]who would answer no but i'm here with three guys who would answer no but i'm here with three guys

[02:54]to that question. We've got

[02:56]Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you

[02:58]doing? I heard it was hot dog

[03:00]day for someone yesterday. Hey, Aaron,

[03:02]where are you going with that hot dog in your hand?

[03:04]Get it? Get it?

[03:10]Hey, Rob,

[03:12]where's he going with that hot dog in his hand?

[03:14]If you took any more than 30 seconds to scrape

[03:16]that one together, I think we need to get a more, maybe a more

[03:18]efficient system. Where are you going with that

[03:20]hot dog in your hand? It's a hot dog day. It was a whole

[03:22]setup and a payoff. It was a really good hot dog.

[03:24]I've got Matt, also in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you

[03:26]doing? Excellent, Rob. Thanks for having

[03:28]me. Good. Love the energy. And of course,

[03:29]out on the West Coast, best coast, I've

[03:32]got Aaron in his garage. Aaron, how are you doing?

[03:34]I'm doing great. I taught myself to

[03:36]play air guitar left-handed this week, so I'm really proud

[03:38]of that. Nice work. He's complicated.

[03:40]To start off today, we've

[03:42]got a text

[03:44]to the Bext line. It's a Bext.

[03:46]A Bext to the Bext.

[03:48]No, a Bext to the text line.

[03:49]What is the Bext line? First time Bexter.

[03:52]The Bext line is 80

[03:53]2-2-7-7 Beck. 802-2-7-7

[03:56]Beck. And I'm going to ask that you leave voicemails.

[03:58]They're so much easier to deal with in this text-to-voice

[03:59]crap, but here we go. After listening

[04:02]to the most recent episode,

[04:03]I am pretty sure that 90%

[04:06]of the content is calling back to

[04:07]embarrassing jokes or comments

[04:09]someone else said in the episode, so

[04:11]you cannot go back and edit out the original

[04:14]joke comment in. Post

[04:15]production. I love it. Keep

[04:17]up the good work. Okay, so I'm getting mixed messages

[04:20]on this message.

[04:21]You delete all the

[04:23]jokes that you later reference, and by the way, I love

[04:25]the show. I think it's great, so I'm not sure what we're

[04:27]supposed to do with this information. Well,

[04:29]apparently, we have cut off some earlier jokes because

[04:31]they seem to realize that we're calling back things that don't

[04:33]exist in the first place, but we

[04:35]also could just be calling back to our own lives,

[04:37]which is what we do a lot. We're like, oh, remember that

[04:39]Halloween party? And then we just go there. We don't give any

[04:41]explanation whatsoever, so.

[04:43]That's what our estates are going to make money off

[04:45]of in our posthumous releases,

[04:47]just like Jimmy. Somebody's going to be releasing all

[04:49]of our material that we thought was unfinished,

[04:51]not ready for the world, and then someone's

[04:53]going to be making money off of it. Oh, can you imagine

[04:55]how terrifying that would be if somebody got a hold

[04:57]of the raw tapes of what we say during this thing that

[04:59]doesn't get edited out?

[05:00]So are they calling out as like a,

[05:03]is this bad that we do that? Are they

[05:05]telling us not to do it, or what's

[05:07]the tone of the best? They want more. They want to hear it all. They don't want anything edited

[05:09]out. They want the raw stuff. Okay, so I think for

[05:11]this episode, we should just set up our callbacks right now.

[05:13]Okay, ready? So

[05:15]I'm going to say something with a banana, so

[05:17]let's remember banana.

[05:18]Okay, so let's keep that in mind, and when we call

[05:21]back later, this Bexter is going to be so happy.

[05:23]They're going to be crazy happy.

[05:24]This is like one of those short-term memory tests from the doctor.

[05:27]I like the idea of a podcast

[05:29]callback because it literally is just me repeating jokes,

[05:31]which is my main form of humor.

[05:33]It's just

[05:35]in your wheelhouse. Yeah, to me, it's a joke

[05:37]that's already been said, so why not say it again? It's not a

[05:39]callback. That's what makes it sound really, really smart.

[05:41]If it was funny once, it's funny again. I don't understand

[05:43]what the problem is. So once again, our

[05:45]dumb shit listeners are no help whatsoever, so thanks

[05:47]for a text that gives us two minutes of conversation.

[05:49]You can't ask us a better question than how we edit

[05:51]the podcast? I mean, please. I can tell

[05:53]you how we edit it. I listen to it, do a ton of work.

[05:55]Russ listens to it and goes, that wasn't enough work.

[05:57]And then Aaron and Matt go, yeah, I'm

[05:59]going to listen to it sometime. So that's our whole

[06:01]process.

[06:01]Honestly, my process

[06:05]is you guys will start talking. We'll go back and

[06:07]forth. It'll be like, that was really funny. That was really

[06:09]funny. I'm like, well, I don't remember

[06:11]any of that, so I better go back and listen to it.

[06:13]Yeah, it works out.

[06:15]I'm always waiting until my clothes are done drying

[06:17]before I can edit, and then by the time that

[06:19]happens, it's the next time they record.

[06:21]I don't have a chance. I can't stand it.

[06:23]You can use it. You can't

[06:25]do this, by the way. You can't make fun of yourself to set

[06:27]up jokes. That makes it seem like we're all in it together, and we're

[06:29]not. We're actually being mean to you.

[06:30]Aaron doesn't

[06:33]get it. He's the kid out in the

[06:34]playground that doesn't get what sees the butt

[06:37]of the joke. He's such a beta that

[06:39]he wants to join the bullies and bullying himself.

[06:41]You're like, no, we're not even going to let you join.

[06:43]Everyone knew that kid, right?

[06:45]Yeah. You know what, guys? I do suck.

[06:47]Let's go to my house and break my toys. Then you have

[06:49]friends over, and you break all your toys, and then they leave,

[06:51]and you're like, wait, we just broke all my

[06:53]toys. I'm an idiot. Why would I do that?

[06:55]Aaron, stop having fun while we're making

[06:57]fun of you. It's like Eminem in The Last Freestyle

[06:59]of 8 Mile, where he's like, that's right. I am

[07:01]white. I'm

[07:03]turning it all on its head.

[07:04]Genius level. All right. Let's

[07:07]get right into everybody's

[07:08]rolling, going.

[07:10]Second favorite segment.

[07:12]What the hell did I do here now? Oh, here it is.

[07:15]Oh, I put all

[07:19]of them in a list. That'd be a nightmare if I had to search

[07:21]through a list. How many soundbites do you have that are called

[07:23]Dumb Rob? There seem to be a lot of Dumb Rob

[07:25]soundbites up on that board. I don't know what's

[07:27]happening. Nope, there's the only one right there.

[07:29]No, that wasn't it.

[07:30]It's, it's,

[07:33]it's, it's time to see

[07:35]what everybody's up to. It's

[07:37]time for Rolling

[07:39]Going. Oh,

[07:41]yeah.

[07:42]All right, man. Before the podcast, you let us know you had a really

[07:45]good one. Why don't you start off the Rolling Going?

[07:46]That was such a

[07:49]big move, Rob.

[07:50]I went to our favorite

[07:53]store this week. Oh,

[07:55]oh, you got to believe that, Rob.

[07:57]We cannot, you know what? The Bechdel

[07:59]Better cannot be bought. We are not going to give in to these

[08:01]corporate shills this easily. I do not have

[08:03]a price tag.

[08:03]It had some sales going on. But if Dairy Queen gives us two free

[08:07]blizzards, we're game. We will say the word

[08:09]Dairy Queen over and over if I get a free blizzard

[08:11]out of it. I got a little risky

[08:13]this week. Instead of buying my

[08:15]normal nine-inch shorts, I bought

[08:17]some seven-inch shorts. Oh, hey, I'm

[08:19]here for this. I love seven-inch shorts. Wait, what?

[08:20]I haven't been able to fill seven or nine.

[08:23]In inches ever. Wait a

[08:25]minute. Aaron, why are you here for this?

[08:27]Like, why are you getting excited for shorts talk? I don't

[08:29]get it. What's going on? Well,

[08:31]because I've spent the last year of my life

[08:33]wearing only athletic shorts

[08:35]every day. I've tried

[08:37]a lot of different shorts. I'm

[08:39]really into shorts culture, and I think

[08:41]that our shorts got too long

[08:43]when we were kids, man. The shorts were too long.

[08:44]They did. Jalen Rose blamed Chris Webber.

[08:46]I saw this. I think

[08:49]the last couple shorts I bought at

[08:51]*** for the nine

[08:53]inch ones. I knew they were, right?

[08:54]And so I'm like looking, and then there

[08:57]was all of a sudden the seven-inch pair

[08:58]that was on sale half off. I'm like,

[09:00]I gotta try this out. And I gotta tell

[09:02]you, it's pretty nice. You old.

[09:04]That's a great pair for only two inches less.

[09:06]Like, if they were four and a half inch shorts

[09:08]instead of nine inch shorts, then half off would make sense

[09:10]because it's half the short. But let me ask another

[09:12]personal question. Matt, did your wife compliment

[09:15]your shorts? I bet she did. Well, she

[09:16]kind of looked at me and said, oh.

[09:18]See? New shorts? The ladies like

[09:20]the short shorts, man. Magic

[09:22]ass understood. I don't know if she liked them or not. I think she was

[09:24]more embarrassed by my knees or something.

[09:26]I don't know. Will Chamberlain knows that 20,000 women

[09:28]can't be wrong. We grew up in the, who was it?

[09:30]The Fab Five with Michigan and all

[09:32]them. They went, you know, they went

[09:34]from white socks to black socks. They went from

[09:36]long shorts or short shorts to

[09:38]extremely long shorts. And, you know, I

[09:40]think our generation has missed

[09:42]the comeback

[09:44]to the shorter shorts.

[09:46]You know, that's very much a thing in

[09:48]powerlifting, though, is tight spandex shorts.

[09:50]That's like the big in thing. And I'm

[09:52]here for it because my legs are actually

[09:54]pretty strong. It's the rest of my body that looks like

[09:56]a muffin that's been too filled into the

[09:58]pan. So if I can focus more

[10:00]attention to my legs, it's great.

[10:02]But I did have something where last night I was

[10:04]going to bed and just as I was laying my

[10:06]pretty little head down on the pillow

[10:08]about to enjoy a night's relaxation,

[10:10]my wife goes, I really

[10:12]didn't like your outfit today at the gym.

[10:13]Oh, that's so harsh.

[10:16]I was like, what the fuck?

[10:18]Like, how can you say this to me right when I'm going to bed?

[10:20]She goes, yeah, I don't really like

[10:22]those pants. I was like, I wear these pants all the time because you

[10:24]mentioned once that you like them. So I've been wearing them like

[10:26]every day because somebody mentioned they like something.

[10:28]And then she's like, yeah, I was wrong.

[10:30]And you were wearing, but I was wearing

[10:32]forest green sweats and a

[10:34]pink shirt. So

[10:36]it is not the best combination, but

[10:38]I have a question. You're bringing

[10:40]up getting compliments from whether it's

[10:42]Matt shorts or Rob is spandex.

[10:44]Do your spouses, do your

[10:46]wives compliment you on things you wear

[10:48]ever? So when I've gone on dates

[10:50]before, I am not, I'm not like

[10:52]the sharpest dresser in the world. I'm

[10:54]probably like, I would say the bottom 20%.

[10:56]You show up, Russell shows

[10:58]up and he's just like, oh, I didn't

[11:00]poke enough holes in this garbage bag. Wait, I can't get my

[11:02]arm out. Okay. Okay. Now I got this other one.

[11:03]I actually went out

[11:06]with a girl for a while who was very annoyed that

[11:08]I would wear like regular t-shirts under

[11:10]kind of a button up like, like a normal

[11:12]t-shirt. And she had an issue with it.

[11:14]It was a real issue. It sounds

[11:16]like she's gotten dumped by too many guys who grew up in the

[11:18]nineties because that was my,

[11:19]it was like, oh,

[11:22]Russell, did you change your style or did

[11:24]you stay true to yourself?

[11:25]I kept wearing them, but the last time

[11:28]we hung out, I definitely were kind

[11:30]of like a twins type, kind of cool

[11:32]looking twins t-shirt under a button up.

[11:34]And she, at one point

[11:36]at the end of the night, not complimented,

[11:38]made a comment about

[11:40]not understanding why I wear those types

[11:42]of shirts under a button up.

[11:44]And that was the last day we ever had.

[11:45]I would have just showed her like an old,

[11:48]like a

[11:48]Parker Lewis can't lose episode.

[11:52]That's the cube cube on that

[11:54]show. Did you ever see that guy? He was like this big.

[11:55]All right. Nevermind.

[11:57]Yeah. Now he's a beef.

[11:59]Yeah. That dude. No, I know that

[12:02]dude is now like he's a heartthrob

[12:03]and, and he would dress exactly the

[12:06]way I wanted to dress. You know, some people would watch like

[12:08]90210 and dress like Jason

[12:10]Priestley or whatever. I would watch like the nerd

[12:12]on a nerd show and be like, I should dress like that

[12:14]guy. That's really cool. Well, we know you were

[12:16]a blossom fan. So you dress like blossom. We get

[12:18]it. I wish she was a fashionista

[12:20]big time.

[12:22]No, the answer is Russell. No, my wife never compliments

[12:24]anything I'm wearing whatsoever.

[12:25]Even when I try hard and

[12:28]oftentimes I will go to work and go into

[12:30]the bathroom at work and I will have toothpaste on my

[12:32]face after I've had a 15 minute conversation

[12:34]with her at home.

[12:35]We're just talking. We're just talking. She could have told me

[12:38]at any time. And I realized that she, I am,

[12:40]I, I, it's like, she just doesn't really like

[12:42]see me. Like she sees me if

[12:44]I'm in the way of her opening up the fridge or doing

[12:46]the dishes or whatever. But

[12:48]if I have like a major flaw

[12:50]or like, you know, Oh, I've,

[12:52]I mean, I've had, I've taught before with a giant

[12:53]rip in the back of my pants. Like that's something that's

[12:55]happened to me.

[12:56]She's not nice enough to tell you. She pointed out to

[12:59]you after the fact when, then it's just

[13:01]like, Hey, you could have told me about the spandex

[13:04]about eight hours ago. We didn't, we didn't need

[13:05]it now. Right? Yeah. No, she, she could have said

[13:07]she, well, I don't know. I, that's the

[13:09]opposite though. She has never told me before. Like

[13:11]you didn't look good. And she said it to

[13:13]me this time. And I was like, I, I'm trying to go to sleep.

[13:15]Like this is going to give me a nightmare right before I go down.

[13:18]It's going to tell her that, Hey, you know,

[13:19]I sleep. That is.

[13:21]You blown out. My candle does not make

[13:24]your shine any brighter. My friend.

[13:25]That is, you know,

[13:27]I know, I know

[13:30]she, you don't need to take that. Rob,

[13:31]you were on the, what are the psychedelic therapeutic

[13:34]Davenport love or whatever.

[13:35]You're good enough or whatever. Smart enough.

[13:38]Gosh, dang it. Rob, you look

[13:40]good, whatever you're wearing. So don't let her get

[13:42]you down. You're right. I'm going to divorce my

[13:43]wife and move out of here. Good idea, man. Thank

[13:46]you. I think that's a great idea.

[13:47]If Matt were to pay me

[13:49]that compliment right now, it would be more

[13:51]physical compliments that I've got it in my

[13:53]bumble dates in the last like 18 months

[13:55]combined.

[13:56]Matt, can we just get, can I just get

[13:59]one of those? Let me ask you this, Russell.

[14:01]I got to say, it looks like you got a nice haircut, man.

[14:04]That is one hell of a haircut.

[14:05]I can't believe, you know, you're looking good

[14:07]my friend. Keep up the good work.

[14:09]Keep up the good work. Thank you, Matt. I like this.

[14:11]Divorce your wife. Let's get married, you and me.

[14:13]I could go through this three times. This is great.

[14:15]Can you imagine every time Rob comes home

[14:17]from like one of his weightlifting competitions and Matt's

[14:19]like, I love the way that span

[14:21]band X looked on you in that squat, Rob.

[14:23]That was fantastic. I don't care that you failed

[14:25]miserably when you tried to set the record

[14:28]and you fell and you

[14:29]embarrass your whole podcast by wearing that

[14:31]podcast shirt on the national tournament.

[14:33]But you look great.

[14:35]Matt has multiple rows on his spreadsheet.

[14:37]Yeah, I don't know, but Russell, like

[14:41]when you go on a date, does the woman ever look at you

[14:43]and say, oh, nice to see you?

[14:44]That would be better than what I'm doing. That would

[14:49]be better than like if Jenny and I see each other

[14:51]like out on the street. It's never like, oh, how are you doing?

[14:53]It's like, hey, hey, what's up with the face?

[14:55]Yeah, I would say I occasionally get if

[14:57]I lead with it was it's nice to see you. They

[14:59]might nod their head and smile. That's

[15:01]probably about right. That would be I would love

[15:03]that. Oh, my gosh, I'd be so jealous

[15:05]for that. Well, so anyway, now that I'm

[15:07]done, Rob, all of my dates

[15:10]tell me about the tooth, the

[15:11]dry toothpaste on my face. It's

[15:13]happened like seven or eight times. They are much more

[15:15]cordial than your than your wife. They

[15:17]tell me every time about the tooth.

[15:19]That's nice because then

[15:21]you can always save a little for the taste later. That's

[15:23]the worst is when you lick the side of your mouth and you taste

[15:25]toothpaste and you go, oh, no,

[15:26]but I will say she was not complaining Russell

[15:29]about the spandex. She was complaining. I wasn't

[15:31]wearing spandex. She thinks I should wear more.

[15:33]So she thought I think that

[15:35]I think that's an amazing compliment.

[15:37]Yeah, yeah, that's

[15:39]true. And especially

[15:41]one of my old man balls. The front fills up,

[15:43]you know, the front fills up, but it's not in a way where it shows

[15:45]like you have a big dick. You know, it just is like that big

[15:47]ball look, you know, like when you'd see your dad and

[15:49]whiteies and you'd be like, what is

[15:51]going on? It was just all balls like that's

[15:53]what it looks like with me. The spandex. If you got to

[15:55]ask more questions, then it's probably not

[15:57]a good look. I mean,

[15:58]what's going on is your reaction then

[16:01]Coco the gorilla saw me and she said,

[16:03]well, this is too much all ball even for me.

[16:05]That was the name

[16:07]of the cat of the monkey was all ball.

[16:09]So I'm going to have to keep that joke

[16:11]in. That was way over

[16:14]my head. I had no idea

[16:15]where that was going.

[16:16]Now I can't edit it out. Banana.

[16:18]You were talking about wearing spandex?

[16:21]I was thinking if I ever wear more spandex,

[16:23]it would probably be the

[16:25]impetus for World War Three. Like people

[16:27]would go back and talk about like

[16:29]the assassination of Archduke

[16:31]Ferdinand's nephew as the beginning

[16:33]of World War One, whatever World War

[16:35]Two was. And then World War Three was

[16:37]that guy went on a date and he was wearing

[16:39]spandex. Absolutely not. This chain reaction

[16:41]of hell. Absolutely not, Russell. And here's what

[16:43]here's the pledge I'm going to make to you this summer.

[16:44]When I am swimming

[16:47]this summer, I'm going to wear a speedo.

[16:48]And I'm going to tell you why. It's

[16:51]because I heard this on another podcast where it's like

[16:53]I am going to it doesn't

[16:55]cover that much less than a regular swimsuit

[16:56]and it makes me feel awesome when I'm

[16:59]wearing it. So why do I care?

[17:00]So I'm just going to wear a speedo like that's just going to be. And guess

[17:03]what? A summer being the speedo guy. You're

[17:05]just the speedo guy. It doesn't matter.

[17:06]It's going to rock. Are you going to start that

[17:09]at your next weightlifting competition or not?

[17:11]Well, I was thinking my kid has swimming lessons and

[17:13]I don't get in the pool, but I have to go to the pool. So

[17:15]maybe that would be a good place to start my look

[17:16]just in the crowd. Hey,

[17:19]who's your kid?

[17:20]You're like

[17:23]leaning back on the bench in front of you up

[17:25]in the bleachers, like legs

[17:27]spread apart, drinking a coffee.

[17:28]It'd be so great. All

[17:31]right, rolling going. Russ, how's it going

[17:33]with you?

[17:33]Rolling going. We were kind of talking about my dates

[17:36]and I think I need a little dating

[17:39]advice from you. I would love to go

[17:40]to the dating corner and get some advice from guys

[17:43]who are hopefully inapt

[17:45]at providing me current date advice.

[17:46]That's not true. I've dated ones of women.

[17:50]But get to the corner.

[17:52]It's time for Russell's

[17:54]Advice Corner. Oh

[17:56]yeah.

[17:57]So one thing

[18:03]that Matt has done recently is he always tries

[18:04]to introduce a new segment and as part of this

[18:06]rolling going, I thought I would try to introduce

[18:08]a new segment. Nice.

[18:10]And so the segment is called

[18:13]Hmm.

[18:14]He's got to go through. Here's

[18:17]the game. His tabs are all like stuck in

[18:18]laundry machine.

[18:20]The game is

[18:23]inspired by Jimi Hendrix and the song

[18:25]Lover Confusion. So the game is called

[18:27]Lover Confusion. All right. So I'm

[18:29]going to tell you guys about a few of the dating

[18:31]experiences I had and you have to tell me

[18:33]do you think could this potentially lead

[18:35]to love or is this just confusion?

[18:37]Oh, I thought you were talking about the

[18:39]I thought you're talking about the Chinese philosopher.

[18:41]Like is this Confucian?

[18:43]Like Confucian

[18:47]says. Yeah, exactly. It'd be about

[18:49]Confucian. Changes in a glass house.

[18:50]Changes in the basement. Well, there goes my list

[18:52]in a few songs, but thanks, Rob.

[18:54]We'll just move on to my dating

[18:57]misery if that's all right. Banana.

[18:58]Microwave. Oh, wait. What were we saying?

[19:02]Okay. So I know that

[19:05]we're talking about are you

[19:06]experienced and I know you guys are experienced

[19:08]in the way of the ladies. You're all married. You've

[19:10]all been married for a long time. So you guys are going to give me

[19:12]some advice here. I love

[19:14]having sex with my wife, says Aaron.

[19:16]Aaron, don't

[19:20]make that hand motion right now. It's so

[19:22]inappropriate. It doesn't even make sense what you're doing, really.

[19:24]Yeah, I don't get it. It's like you're

[19:26]on the bottom, but you're also facing down.

[19:28]Like, I don't.

[19:28]All right. How does your leg

[19:32]do that?

[19:33]Oh, my God. What is

[19:36]even happening? This is our posthumous

[19:38]work that everybody's going to listen to.

[19:40]I don't even know if I can see the back

[19:42]of my knee like that. I don't like when Aaron holds

[19:44]up that sign that says turn over and let Jimmy

[19:46]do his work. It's so

[19:48]not cool for this podcast, Aaron.

[19:50]When son finds this podcast, he's like, oh, my gosh,

[19:52]I'm so lucky I get to listen to what my dad was

[19:54]saying. It's just

[19:56]us talking about humping him face down. He's like,

[19:58]what was this?

[19:59]Who's my dad? What

[20:02]is going on here? We also have

[20:04]confirmation that your mother-in-law and my

[20:06]mother-in-law both listen to this podcast.

[20:08]Yeah, this is just great stuff.

[20:09]Hey, Patty.

[20:11]All right. Love or Confusion?

[20:13]Love or Confusion. So I'm

[20:16]going to give you guys a few scenarios that I've experienced

[20:18]in the online dating world and see what you guys

[20:20]think of them. And maybe how would you

[20:21]think of it? How would you deal with it? The first

[20:24]one, let's say I've gone out with

[20:26]a woman a number of times.

[20:28]This is not a first date where a guy just offers

[20:30]to pay. You go out a few times and

[20:32]you realize she never

[20:34]offers to pay at any point

[20:36]in the time you're going out with her.

[20:38]Is this sign of love or

[20:40]potential sign of confusion?

[20:41]Confusion.

[20:43]She's got to at least have the alligator

[20:46]arms, right? Like, oh, well, let me look

[20:48]in my purse here and

[20:50]you know, then you say, no, no, I got it.

[20:52]Why are they called alligator arms?

[20:53]Alligator arms are when they open like

[20:56]an alligator's mouth. They're not short. You're

[20:58]thinking of T-Rex arms. Oh, dinosaur arms.

[20:59]Alligators actually have quite long arms.

[21:01]Oh, well, we learn something

[21:04]new every day, I guess.

[21:05]Yeah, it's a dinosaur arm where, you know, oh,

[21:07]geez, let me see, let me get...

[21:09]And some dinosaurs actually have quite long front legs

[21:11]as well. So you really want to say Tyrannosaurus Rex

[21:14]arms. I think that's the best way to go about it.

[21:15]All right. All right. Yeah. Okay. Point taken.

[21:17]So now that I killed the podcast, Matt, you...

[21:20]So, Matt, how often does your wife pay?

[21:21]Because you were saying earlier you don't like to tip now,

[21:23]especially during the pandemic, but how often does

[21:25]your wife like to pay? Yeah, why do they make you pay a

[21:27]service charge and then you don't know if you're supposed to

[21:29]tip either? That's a bunch of bullshit right there.

[21:31]If you go to a restaurant, you should know

[21:33]damn well whether the 30% service

[21:35]charge is a tip or it's not

[21:37]a tip because all of a sudden now you're paying like

[21:39]60% and you don't know if it's a tip or you don't

[21:41]know what's going on. I got news for you. A service charge, there's

[21:43]no way that is a tip. There's no way that a restaurant

[21:45]has a chance to make a little more money and they're like, you know

[21:47]what? We should give this out as a tip.

[21:49]So, I think what Aaron says is great. I think

[21:51]5% max tip.

[21:52]And he likes to do the thing too where he puts

[21:55]the $5 bills on the table and he's like,

[21:57]oh,

[21:59]forgot the water. Take one away.

[22:01]He likes that game.

[22:02]I have...

[22:05]I don't even know where to begin with this segment.

[22:07]I haven't been to a restaurant for over a year

[22:09]now, so it's been... Aaron,

[22:11]should the woman ever pay? What do you think?

[22:13]I'm just going to say no because if somebody

[22:15]is going with me, like they've

[22:17]already paid the ultimate price. They've been seen on a date

[22:19]with me. I can pay for the dinner. It's not a big deal.

[22:21]I think if she's...

[22:25]I mean, if she's showing

[22:27]up to the dates with you, that's love, Russell.

[22:29]You don't have to ask any other questions.

[22:31]She's there. She could have chosen any other

[22:33]place to be at that moment. She's

[22:35]there. Nothing...

[22:38]No meal is

[22:39]worth the price of someone's time. If she's showing

[22:41]up and she's there with you, that's love. I don't care.

[22:43]I've had some meals that have definitely

[22:45]been worth more than the time that I've spent there

[22:47]for sure. Too expensive.

[22:49]I'll tell you the sushi story sometime

[22:51]where we just sat down and got the bill and I almost threw

[22:53]up. I almost walked out and threw up outside of the

[22:55]restaurant. Well, let's tell it now.

[22:57]Oh, well, we sat down and Jenny was like, well, we're

[22:59]going to get this, this, this, and this. And I think the bill

[23:01]came and it was four of us and

[23:03]the bill was like... And it was like a

[23:05]restaurant like that you would just have in a mall

[23:07]or something. And the bill was like, I don't know what, $800?

[23:09]Something like that. It was just insane

[23:11]for little pieces of fish.

[23:12]So this does not surprise me.

[23:15]So one of the reasons I bring this up is

[23:16]I'm an older dude. So if I'm going out with someone

[23:19]now, we're not going to Applebee's. We're not

[23:21]going to like a dive bar. We're going to

[23:23]a real restaurant or a real bar

[23:25]with like nice drinks or whatever. Yeah, excuse me.

[23:27]Yeah, we are in the drive-thru, but my

[23:29]truck is really jacked

[23:31]up. So

[23:32]it's kind of the VIP.

[23:34]See, that's the problem too. Aaron is like,

[23:37]yeah, sometimes my wife pays because she's always driving

[23:39]when we go through the drive-thru. You know what I mean? Like she's

[23:41]closer to...

[23:42]He's in the back seat, so

[23:44]it's kind of hard to pass the credit card up front.

[23:46]I'm going to let somebody else get a word out here. Russ, keep going.

[23:49]I want to hear this.

[23:49]One of the reasons I brought this up is I remember

[23:53]it was probably a year ago or so

[23:55]and I went out with this woman five or six times

[23:57]and we were getting along. We were having fun

[23:58]and everything. And at one point we went to this

[24:01]restaurant and the bill came

[24:03]and she looked at me and she goes, do you want to split

[24:05]it? And it was the first time

[24:07]she'd ever said anything like that. So I was just

[24:09]in a moment of stupidity just said,

[24:11]yeah, that's fine. Where I should never

[24:13]have done that. And so

[24:15]we split it. And then we were walking back

[24:17]afterwards and

[24:19]she kind of looked at me and she goes,

[24:20]it bothers me that we split the bill

[24:23]there. And I was like, what?

[24:24]And she goes,

[24:26]I don't mind paying once in a while,

[24:29]but I don't want to ever split a bill if I'm

[24:31]going to date you. And I was like, okay, good to know that.

[24:33]And she goes, I'm willing to pay, but it's

[24:35]probably 10% of the time. You need to know

[24:37]that. And I was like, okay, good to know.

[24:39]And it was the last date we ever had. Not by

[24:41]my choice, but I split the bill

[24:43]the one time and we never went

[24:45]out again. It was her

[24:47]suggestion. So she's like testing

[24:49]you. I think it was definitely a test

[24:51]and the Russ man failed.

[24:53]She's going to

[24:55]test you like that. Right. She was looking for

[24:57]you to fail. There would have been another test later.

[24:58]Like that's yeah. She was like, you can

[25:01]hit it or we can split it, but you can't do both.

[25:03]Like

[25:03]it would have been nice

[25:07]to know that before the fact. Yeah.

[25:08]And she takes off her outer shirt

[25:11]and her undershirt, which she was wearing the whole

[25:13]time. Like Coob from Parker Lewis K.

[25:14]Lewis says you can split

[25:17]it or hit it. You can't do both.

[25:18]Actually, I don't really like giving

[25:20]out too much information, but I think the same girl

[25:22]that didn't like my regular t-shirts

[25:25]also was the one who ran

[25:26]split the bill game on me. So maybe

[25:28]it was a double.

[25:29]You have you have. Yeah, you

[25:32]have just dodged the biggest

[25:35]bullet ever. You know, you've

[25:37]lived to see the other day. Yeah.

[25:38]You're coming out ahead here. Russ

[25:40]Russ was just like, you know, the meal was just one Cinnabon.

[25:43]Like, do we really have to split? Like we can just

[25:44]one of us can pay. And I

[25:46]and I ate most of it. She only had

[25:48]like a bit of the frost. I had a bite. Then I said

[25:50]I have to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom for like 15

[25:52]minutes. I came back.

[25:54]She had so upset about

[25:56]it. She had more than half. So I yelled and I yelled

[25:58]a lot like she was

[26:00]the manager of the Orange Julius came out. I was

[26:02]yelling a ton, but can you believe

[26:04]she wanted to split it? Like

[26:05]do you guys want another scenario

[26:09]of the game all night?

[26:10]I do, but I do want a game called

[26:11]this.

[26:12]We can talk for five hours

[26:16]and we'll still be the greatest guitar player of all time.

[26:18]All right. Here's the next

[26:20]scenario for you guys who are experienced

[26:22]love or confusion.

[26:23]I always have to

[26:26]initiate a text or phone conversation.

[26:28]So I text.

[26:30]She always responds. She always goes out, but she

[26:32]will never text first. Never

[26:34]invite me to do anything. Love

[26:36]or confusion. I mean, again, it's

[26:38]love. How many times?

[26:39]Let's say we're over like

[26:42]the five five date mark, Matt.

[26:44]Let's say it's been enough where it's

[26:46]love. Listen, it

[26:48]doesn't matter. You got to get down on your knees

[26:50]and you got to crawl and beg. And if

[26:52]she says you hate to date me, you got to scrub

[26:54]this spot on my bathroom floor for four hours.

[26:56]You get down on your knees and you scrub that spot

[26:58]on the bathroom floor for four hours.

[27:00]When I was starting to date Jenny, she said

[27:02]to me, she goes, listen, we can date,

[27:03]but you can't tell anyone we're dating.

[27:06]And I was like,

[27:08]okay, like I know

[27:09]whatsoever. Like it wasn't like, oh,

[27:12]there's a secret love affair. I'm married. It was literally

[27:14]like no one can know we're dating.

[27:15]So what did you think of the time when she

[27:18]told when she told you that like at

[27:20]some point after you got done? I am so happy to be

[27:22]dating this person. I'm so happy to be

[27:24]dating this person. Nobody can hear me say it.

[27:26]It's a secret.

[27:26]I didn't care. I would. She would have said like

[27:30]you can't tell anybody and you have to crawl through this broken

[27:32]glass. I would be like, yes, that sounds good to me.

[27:34]Rob, would you have taken the deal if

[27:36]she would have said you can never tell anyone ever?

[27:38]Let's say you guys were going to live together.

[27:40]You're going to be married, have a family, but you could

[27:42]never tell your friends or anyone

[27:44]that you were her husband or you were

[27:46]dating. Would you have taken the deal or no deal?

[27:48]No, because eventually after like five

[27:50]days, I did get upset. I was like, you know, actually

[27:52]it's pretty insulting. Like everything else, like I

[27:54]had had five days of something good and then I just

[27:56]totally blew it up. I was like, actually, it's pretty

[27:58]insulting. She goes, you know why I don't want you to tell

[27:59]anybody? It's because I

[28:02]don't want a picture of me drawn on

[28:04]the blackboard in the football locker room because every

[28:05]time guys would hook up with girls in college,

[28:07]somebody would draw their picture on the

[28:09]blackboard. And I said, sweetie, it's not

[28:11]a big deal. I'm the guy who draws all the pictures

[28:13]on the blackboard.

[28:14]It's not a big deal. Don't

[28:18]worry about it. You'll look way more

[28:20]curvy when I draw it up there. You're going to look way

[28:21]better. Well, we somebody did actually draw a picture

[28:23]of us and it was

[28:25]Jake ended up drawing a picture of us and it was

[28:27]her chest coming out and my stomach

[28:29]coming out and we were interlocked like Lego pieces.

[28:32]That was for our announcement

[28:35]in the paper for us getting engaged. That was the picture

[28:38]and he gave me a little

[28:39]thong and that

[28:42]really hurt because he had seen me in the showers

[28:43]like, you know what I mean? Like

[28:45]I like that that goes with the album.

[28:48]Because it's a Jimi Hendrix was

[28:49]at his heart was a blues man and that's a play

[28:51]on the Drew's the blues trope of going

[28:53]together like a knock need man and a bow-legged

[28:55]woman is just updated for your personal

[28:57]situation.

[28:58]What is a low-legged woman?

[29:11]A bow-legged woman.

[29:12]I always thought it was bow-legged. They got

[29:15]it from bowing so much.

[29:18]So that's my bad, I guess.

[29:21]So anyway,

[29:23]moving on from that, Russ, give us another

[29:25]lover confusion. We're doing another

[29:27]lover confusion? I don't want to do anything

[29:29]else with the rest of my life. This is all I want to do.

[29:31]All right.

[29:33]Lover confusion.

[29:35]You go on a few dates and she invites you

[29:37]to meet her friends. Is this the way like where

[29:39]she's like she's into you and she

[29:41]wants you to meet her friends to say, hey,

[29:43]this is the guy I like or is this

[29:45]hey, if he fails this,

[29:47]he's out the door. Is this is this a make

[29:49]or break to meet the friends the first time?

[29:51]Oh, definitely. You can

[29:53]be buried. You can be buried by one

[29:55]friend. Ninety nine can like you.

[29:57]One can hate you and you're done. You got to figure out which

[29:59]one that is too quick. You got to

[30:01]scan the room. You got to figure it out, right?

[30:03]Yeah. You got to figure that out in five minutes.

[30:05]If not, do a little sleuthing

[30:08]beforehand to figure out, you know,

[30:09]which one kind of runs everything in the group.

[30:11]Yeah. You got to figure that out quick.

[30:13]Yeah. It's like Matt said earlier and I

[30:15]edited it out, but put some cameras in their

[30:17]bathroom.

[30:17]In the apartment, you can find out who's in charge

[30:19]real fast. It's a

[30:21]high stakes moment, but you earned

[30:23]it to get there. You don't get into that moment unless

[30:25]you made it there. It's like saying,

[30:27]you know, you can't make it to a game seven if you didn't

[30:29]lose three games first. That's where you're at. It's a high

[30:31]stakes moment, but you made it there. You did something to

[30:33]get into that moment. So you should I run a

[30:35]play on for that event or not?

[30:37]Like I'd be impressed that I brush my teeth

[30:39]or not. No, here's what you have to do. You have to

[30:41]go out with the best friend.

[30:43]Wait until she just gets hammered. I mean, how many

[30:45]of us have not had to drive our

[30:47]wife's best hammered friend around

[30:49]even though you don't want to? You

[30:51]have to take care of them sometime to show that

[30:53]you're like a provider. Okay.

[30:55]And then later you can bond over how, you know, sloppy

[30:57]they got or whatever, but that's something you have to do.

[30:59]I think Matt knows we'll be well enough

[31:01]that I'm never the designated driver. So he

[31:03]knows that's going to be a failing effort.

[31:05]Aaron rolling going. How's it going with you?

[31:07]You always

[31:11]catch me when I'm trying to recover.

[31:12]I'm really good. It's been a good week.

[31:15]I'm really excited.

[31:17]I cleaned the coffee grinder

[31:21]this week and

[31:23]it was a revelation.

[31:25]I can't even tell you guys,

[31:27]but it was one of those moments. So

[31:29]we've had this coffee grinder for about seven

[31:31]years because prior to the one we have

[31:33]now, we had a manual coffee grinder

[31:35]and getting the

[31:37]automatic coffee grinder changed our lives.

[31:39]But I don't think I've

[31:41]cleaned it for like five or six years. And it's one of those

[31:43]moments where you realize you've been living in filth

[31:45]and you didn't know you were living in filth.

[31:47]Have you guys ever experienced this where you like

[31:49]clean a thing and then you realize like, oh, I'm actually

[31:51]a disgusting human. So I'm very happy

[31:53]that the coffee grinder is clean.

[31:54]And you see what's under there after having two young kids.

[31:57]And you're like, what?

[31:58]It's like stalactites of like brown

[32:01]and yellow. And you're like, how did this even get here?

[32:03]Like, I know I cleaned like two days ago.

[32:04]And it's just like patches. It's like

[32:07]something that's like a fungus from something

[32:09]that's attaching different parts of the toilet. You're like,

[32:11]how does that even make sense?

[32:12]And why is everybody going to the bathroom in my bathroom?

[32:14]We have lots of bathrooms in the house. The kids love the master

[32:17]bathroom. It's their favorite gag.

[32:18]Have you ever had a moment where you had to look in the mirror and realize

[32:21]that I may have been

[32:22]a participant in this disaster or not?

[32:25]Oh. Do you guys share a toilet with people at work?

[32:27]Yes. Yeah. And one of the highlights.

[32:31]I'm constantly cleaning.

[32:32]Hey, can I give a clap

[32:35]or a snap of this is where I'm going to want to

[32:37]delete any sort of conversation right now

[32:39]of Aaron talking about how he

[32:41]shares the toilet with people at work.

[32:42]I was just going to say

[32:45]I haven't been to an office that's

[32:47]shared now for over a year. But one of the highlights

[32:49]was if I got there early enough in the morning,

[32:51]if you go into the shared

[32:53]toilet and the toilet water is blue,

[32:54]ah, what a glorious

[32:57]day, you know, the other good thing

[32:59]set up just for you.

[33:00]The other good thing is when

[33:03]I was, I was in the 12th floor

[33:05]downtown and you know, you get

[33:07]to, you start to understand, you know, who's

[33:09]on your floor and not right. Inevitably

[33:11]inevitably you get

[33:13]the cameras that you've set up in the bathroom, you know,

[33:14]you get some, you get some guy and all of a

[33:17]sudden they come out of the stairwell and you know

[33:19]that they're not on your floor and you know exactly why

[33:20]they're down there because they got to go take a

[33:22]shit somewhere and they don't want to do it on their own floor.

[33:24]So they don't come on your floor. You just, yeah,

[33:26]that's the, that's one of the funny things. It's kind of a

[33:28]walk of shame, but that is, that move

[33:30]is like the, the two point conversion of

[33:32]the world. Like, you know how NFL teams save

[33:34]their best play for the two point

[33:36]conversion. That is like the corporate

[33:38]two point conversion move of

[33:40]Hey, I'm not going to use the bathroom

[33:42]on my own floor, but I'd

[33:44]like the eighth or ninth floor. Hey,

[33:47]someone's coming or for Rob, when he

[33:48]doesn't know if he's on the seventh or the 14th,

[33:51]he's got like eight floors where he can possibly

[33:53]go in, in, in his building. But

[33:54]isn't that the two point conversion move of the world?

[33:56]You save your best play for

[33:58]the right time for the right

[34:00]time. I have a naughty confession. Can I make

[34:02]a naughty confession to you guys?

[34:03]The fact that this is your first naughty

[34:06]confession disclosure, I'm

[34:08]scared, but yes.

[34:10]When Russ was telling that story about the two point

[34:12]conversion, I was not laughing at what he was saying.

[34:14]I was laughing at something I remember

[34:16]from school one time and it made

[34:18]me laugh so hard that I started laughing during

[34:20]your story, Russ, and I'm sorry.

[34:21]But one time, what's the story? I was

[34:24]out teaching a class in the hallway and

[34:26]for every tile on the floor, I said, this is a hundred

[34:28]million years and we're looking at the age of the

[34:30]universe, right?

[34:31]The single male bathroom

[34:34]in the hallway right next to all of us.

[34:36]There's a 30 middle schoolers, right?

[34:38]Opens up and this

[34:40]guy walks out and he's like, like, I can't remember

[34:42]if he was a teacher, if he was like somebody who worked at the

[34:44]school. And when he

[34:46]opened the door, it smelled so

[34:48]bad. It was like

[34:50]a tsunami enveloping

[34:53]the hallway and it just smelled like

[34:54]the inside of a toilet. It's like

[34:56]when your kids have a lunch and they haven't handed it to

[34:58]you and it's just gone bad. You open the bag.

[35:00]I mean, it was just like

[35:01]you could see like the air got hazy.

[35:05]It smelled so bad. Like you started to see

[35:06]tunnel vision. Did he care? Did the guy

[35:08]care? Yeah, no, he like walked

[35:10]away and the kids laughed about that

[35:12]for the rest of the hour long

[35:14]lesson. They howled and I was trying to teach

[35:16]him about the age of the earth and I was like, I don't know what I can do.

[35:18]You just saw a teacher after a massive

[35:20]deuce-a-roo and it makes me laugh so hard

[35:22]every time I think about what a terrible time that was.

[35:24]I feel like that's another one of those old

[35:26]things, you know, like when you

[35:28]I don't know what the age is. It could be like 52

[35:30]to 56 where you just stop

[35:32]caring. You just, well, whatever.

[35:34]I think it's when you start wearing seven inch shorts

[35:36]is when you stop caring about whether you're that guy

[35:38]or not.

[35:39]Getting on our way there.

[35:42]Baby steps.

[35:44]Baby steps. There's no way people that

[35:46]wear nine inch shorts don't care about

[35:48]that. People who wear seven inch shorts, they're the ones

[35:50]who just are like, you gotta be concerned

[35:52]about where it's going. I for sure used to be

[35:54]terrified about going to the bathroom in public.

[35:56]Just terrified. Like I would do almost

[35:58]anything to not have to do it.

[36:00]And now I'm just like, yeah, I'm sure. Whatever.

[36:02]Like, let's do it. Well, how many inches are your

[36:04]shorts? Seven or nine?

[36:05]Now it's what I'm out and about in New York. It's always

[36:08]an emergency. So now that, by the way, don't eat this.

[36:10]Don't listen to this during breakfast.

[36:11]Okay, so.

[36:13]Roll the go on, Rob. How's it going with you? Well, I actually, Aaron, so

[36:16]we've reached a thrilling

[36:18]conclusion of your cleaning the coffee grinder story.

[36:20]I gotta hear how this plays out. What is Act 3?

[36:22]Sorry, we completely

[36:23]have our song about getting off

[36:26]course, but Aaron, yeah. How was

[36:28]your coffee grinder? It just feels great,

[36:30]man. Like this thing was all, you know,

[36:32]full up of oils and

[36:34]old coffee grounds. What did you use to clean

[36:36]it? Did you get like a Q-tip

[36:38]out? Did you like really get an old toothbrush?

[36:40]Did you really get in there? Well, I started

[36:42]with a vacuum. So I read

[36:44]online you should start by either forcing

[36:46]some air through or suck an air

[36:48]out. So I took all the

[36:50]component pieces apart and washed the plastic

[36:52]parts of that part that I could. I bet I know

[36:54]which one you did.

[36:55]Air in.

[36:57]I thought that was going to be

[37:00]way dirtier and it was way clever. That's

[37:02]nice. I don't have a compressor. Otherwise, I would

[37:04]have, Rob. Oh, Jesus, Aaron.

[37:06]Just keep telling the story, Aaron.

[37:08]I vacuumed it all out

[37:09]and now it's almost like

[37:12]it's going to be, I think it's going to be a regular

[37:14]thing for me. I'm going to keep the coffee grinder clean

[37:16]and I'm going to be much happier. It's going to be

[37:18]a real pleasant thing. So have

[37:20]you poured yourself a big old dark cup of coffee

[37:22]then? Yeah, this morning. Yeah.

[37:24]Yeah. It was beautiful. Had the

[37:26]West Oakland blend from

[37:28]Roscoe. So that's funny.

[37:30]I intended to make 90 grams

[37:32]but there was 17 grams left

[37:34]of the previous type of coffee.

[37:35]This is all stained by the way.

[37:37]Made another 83 grams

[37:39]of the West Oakland blend

[37:41]and then realized that I

[37:43]added 83 and 17. I

[37:46]thought it was 90, but it's actually 100. So that

[37:47]gives you an idea of where my skills

[37:49]are right now. Edit note.

[37:51]Edit note.

[37:52]I actually am going to leave this in

[37:55]because I want to show people the kind of

[37:57]stuff that we hear every single time we

[37:59]podcast. It is just like a

[38:01]tangled web and we're just walking

[38:03]through the maze with Aaron and his brain's like,

[38:05]man, coffee machine.

[38:06]Here's something funny. It normally holds

[38:09]17 ounces, but I tried to pour 22.5 ounces.

[38:12]Matt came on and he's like, I got nothing

[38:13]for rolling going. Aaron came on and he's like,

[38:15]my rolling goat is so good.

[38:17]I was really excited to see you guys on my coffee

[38:21]grinder. I felt like this was a nice,

[38:23]it was a big moment for me in my life this week.

[38:25]Speaking of coffee grinders,

[38:27]that's when I'm going to start calling him a penis.

[38:29]I was going to say, Rob,

[38:31]how's it going with you? I'll tell you what, it has gotten nicer

[38:33]in New York City and that has meant that I am back

[38:35]on my city bike, biking to work

[38:37]and I love my commute now.

[38:39]I get on an electric bike. I take the subway

[38:41]to halfway across Manhattan.

[38:43]I get on an electric bike and I

[38:45]scoot probably six blocks

[38:47]biking through Manhattan.

[38:48]What's an electric bike? It's a bike that

[38:51]when you press on the pedals, it just

[38:53]basically pedals for you with electricity,

[38:55]so you barely have to pedal at all.

[38:56]That's some lazy-ass shit. Aaron, you're a cyclist.

[38:59]Matt, you're a cyclist. Is that what your guys'

[39:01]pelotons are? You just get on there, you sit

[39:03]there and you don't do shit?

[39:05]I'm telling you, if everyone had electric bikes,

[39:07]everyone would bike to work. It is so pleasant

[39:09]to pull up to work on a

[39:11]bike. And biking through New York

[39:13]City, I almost hit four people today. It was exhilarating.

[39:15]Like, every time you go to work, you never

[39:17]know if a door is going to be opened up right in front of you and you're

[39:19]going to go flying. It's a great time. So I was wondering,

[39:21]what is your guys' commute like? What's like the highlight

[39:23]of your commute? I got a commute

[39:25]now. I'm not going to work, but I

[39:27]take the boys to school every morning

[39:29]to go from Minneapolis out to

[39:31]Minnetonka, home of Darren from

[39:32]Minnetonka, into Edina,

[39:35]drop Eddie off every day. My Richfield student

[39:37]can kick your honor student's ass

[39:38]in broomball. Exactly.

[39:40]And so I know

[39:43]that if we get

[39:45]out the door, and if we're backing

[39:47]out by 741, we're

[39:49]going to get to the light at Penn Avenue

[39:51]before the 744 time

[39:53]it turns, and then we're on

[39:54]the highway by 747.

[39:57]I've got

[39:59]such a data record.

[40:00]We're going to get to 494

[40:02]and 62

[40:04]to beat the 754

[40:07]light to make sure that we're in that parking

[40:09]lot before 8 o'clock, because if we're in there before 8 o'clock,

[40:11]that means that we're in the front of the line

[40:13]where we're the first to drop off. We don't have to wait in

[40:15]line. So the highlight of my commute, Rob,

[40:17]if you really must know, is making sure

[40:19]that we get out of that goddamn

[40:21]garage by 741 every morning.

[40:23]So that's the highlight. If we do that,

[40:25]it's great. If we don't... Who is the toughest to get out

[40:27]to the garage, the older one or the younger one?

[40:28]Get in the car. I need to be in the front

[40:33]of that line. Who drags their feet the longest? Why can't you kids work your own

[40:35]damn seatbelts by now? God damn it.

[40:37]Yeah, we'll bring

[40:39]books or something along, and

[40:40]there'll be occasional times

[40:43]where somebody else in the family,

[40:45]brings the books in the house, and then we don't

[40:47]have them in the morning, and so then I get in the car, and it's like,

[40:49]okay, we gotta get going, and there's no books

[40:51]or nothing. So then the kids have to run upstairs.

[40:53]So that's a really... You go out, you

[40:55]realize, oh, I forgot my book, How to Kiss

[40:57]My Stepmom. I'm like, no, How to Kiss

[40:59]My Mother-in-Law. That's not the joke.

[41:00]I gotta run and go get it.

[41:02]Yeah, you're running your stepmom

[41:05]jokes. I got a pretty

[41:07]good can't go story.

[41:08]Here we go. I'm not

[41:11]warning, warning, warning. Every

[41:13]time Aaron says he's got a funny story, it's

[41:14]fantastic. You guys get a good story.

[41:16]Aaron's my favorite storyteller. Let's hear it.

[41:18]So I'm

[41:21]not commuting now. Obviously, I'm working at home.

[41:22]I do, just like Matt, I drop

[41:24]baby boy down at his

[41:26]preschool, but that's just a three-minute thing.

[41:28]But back in the day, about a year

[41:30]ago, my wife was

[41:32]working in South San Francisco, so she took the ferry

[41:34]over there, and my son went

[41:37]to the daycare at her job. So he

[41:38]took the ferry across

[41:40]to her job.

[41:42]So I would drop them off in the

[41:44]mornings down at

[41:46]the ferry. I would park, and

[41:48]then, this is actually not the interesting part

[41:50]of the story, but I have to tell it anyway, and then I would take

[41:52]not an electric bike, sometimes a bike, but I would take

[41:54]an electric scooter to work.

[41:56]So then I would take the scooter, which is the same.

[41:58]Taking the scooter from the ferry in

[42:00]Oakland to downtown Oakland was amazing.

[42:02]You can see so much. It was a

[42:04]wonderful way to see things. But the

[42:06]best part was my commute home.

[42:08]My office in the afternoon at

[42:10]4 p.m., and

[42:12]there was a scooter close by, and I caught the scooter just

[42:14]right. I could make

[42:16]it to Merchant's Saloon,

[42:18]which is the greatest dive bar in Oakland.

[42:20]It opens at 7 a.m.

[42:22]I could get there just in time

[42:24]to have a shot and a beer

[42:26]and still make it to pick

[42:28]my wife and son up from the ferry

[42:30]at 4.45 p.m.

[42:32]No problem. I could

[42:34]leave my office at 4, leave my desk

[42:36]at 4, hop on the scooter, head

[42:38]straight down to Jacqueline Square.

[42:40]I was saying the afternoon commute

[42:42]was the best. I've not done that before.

[42:44]Because you were like, it opens at 7 a.m. so I can get in and get

[42:46]a shot and a beer. And I was like, Jesus Christ, he's doing

[42:48]this before work? I think this is what we have to

[42:50]talk with him. The earliest I've been to

[42:52]Merchant's Saloon is 10.30 a.m., but that was

[42:54]not on a work day. How many

[42:56]kindergartners in a few years do you think are going to

[42:58]tell the story of, like, when they do show and tell

[43:00]and they tell the story of their dad and the story is

[43:02]A, I'd eat cheese tortellini every

[43:04]day for lunch. B,

[43:05]I take a ferry to

[43:08]preschool every day. And

[43:10]C, my dad shows up drunk

[43:12]on a scooter to pick me up after

[43:14]preschool.

[43:14]I take a ferry to preschool every day.

[43:15]That is the story that Aaron's

[43:18]son is going to be telling it and show

[43:20]and tell.

[43:20]Your dad doesn't do this? What?

[43:23]I'm the strange one? The other kids are going to be like,

[43:26]is that vegan cheese tortellini?

[43:27]What kind of nut cheese do you use? Do you use cashew

[43:32]cheese or what?

[43:32]Cashew cheese is the only nut cheese. Anything else

[43:36]is no good.

[43:36]So, Russ, what's your commute like? Do you have a fun commute?

[43:40]Anything entertaining? I realize now that talking about

[43:42]people's commute is like the last thing people want to talk about,

[43:44]but I love mine. My bike is so fun. I have a

[43:46]fun little helmet. It's just great.

[43:47]I have, there is a corner

[43:50]that... Squeeze the tip? I have two

[43:52]choices. I've got to get on the

[43:54]freeway from either

[43:56]one street or the other street. And I

[43:58]usually pick a certain street, and I pick

[44:00]the one route most of the times. But I

[44:02]realize every time I get to the turn,

[44:03]I'm going to run that red light if

[44:06]it's even close. If

[44:07]I can see yellow,

[44:09]I'm going through that light, and I don't care

[44:12]how long it's been red for. If I

[44:14]can see yellow, I'm running through it. So that's

[44:16]my commute story is, there's one

[44:18]turn where I've just decided I'm not going to

[44:19]obey the traffic laws. If

[44:21]there's any sort of yellow, it's

[44:23]a go. Do we have permission to

[44:26]play this at your funeral if you get killed by getting

[44:27]T-boned and just doing it?

[44:29]Well, it's better than the demise I was expecting

[44:32]when we talked about me being the

[44:33]reincarnation of Elvis and

[44:36]Babe Ruth and dying with the ham sandwich

[44:38]on the toilet. So, yeah, you can

[44:40]play that. That's fine. If you died on the toilet, we

[44:42]would not do under five

[44:43]episodes.

[44:44]We would not do under five episodes about that on the podcast.

[44:45]There's just parody song after

[44:49]parody song. Hey, I just came out of

[44:51]Russell's bathroom. He died, and it's like a

[44:53]purple haze.

[44:55]All right.

[44:59]Let's get into this week's album. Now that I've

[45:01]killed the conversation by bringing up work.

[45:03]Yes, exactly. We are talking

[45:05]about... You might have killed the conversation

[45:07]when you brought up my untimely demise.

[45:09]That might have been the thing that did it.

[45:11]I didn't say untimely, by the way.

[45:14]All right. So...

[45:15]I don't know if I like that.

[45:18]I don't know if I like that at all.

[45:19]Russ, I don't think Rob likes your outfit.

[45:21]Dear Rob, can you please edit

[45:24]out the part where you said that I should die soon?

[45:26]At 54.33

[45:31]to 54.48. Delete.

[45:34]Last will and

[45:36]testament. Do not bury me in seven-inch

[45:38]shorts. I will take nine-inch shorts.

[45:39]It didn't offend me or anything like that, but it did

[45:41]make me think about my mortality for about two days.

[45:43]So please take it out. I don't want to accidentally think about this

[45:45]again. So here's the three

[45:47]things about this album. We're going to go with... Because people

[45:49]hate my part where I give a history of the album, I'm going to just put

[45:51]every three facts. This is Rob's three

[45:53]facts of the album. Basically, this album

[45:55]came along because Jimi Hendrix was

[45:57]playing guitar at Cafe Wa, where

[45:59]he had a residency. And a guy named Chaz

[46:01]Chandler from the Animals heard him and said, God, we got

[46:03]to get this guy going. He's not doing anything

[46:05]in the United States. So he took him out to England

[46:07]and they hooked him up with

[46:09]Noel Redding and Mitch Mitchell.

[46:10]Mitch Mitchell, by the way, got the job on a coin flip.

[46:13]With a different drummer. But these guys were both...

[46:15]Noel Redding was a guitar player who switched to bass

[46:17]and Mitch Mitchell was a pretty accomplished jazz

[46:19]drummer. You can hear a lot of that on this

[46:21]album as well. I'm convinced that his

[46:23]backup guys are absolute nerds

[46:25]that make him look cooler. I'm convinced

[46:27]that's why they picked... Let's pick the two most

[46:29]square looking and sounding guys of all

[46:31]time and Jimi Hendrix is going to look so

[46:33]cool. Have you ever...

[46:36]I mean, just to hear these guys singing, they're like

[46:37]purple haze. It's like they're such

[46:39]boring background. Couldn't be anything like

[46:41]this podcast. No nerds supporting Rob

[46:43]and we're not here just to make Rob look cool.

[46:45]That's definitely not what's happening. Thank you. I appreciate it.

[46:47]So when they were planning this album, I thought it was

[46:49]really interesting because the guy said, basically, Jimi Hendrix

[46:51]planned this whole thing. We intentionally left

[46:53]Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding

[46:55]out of the planning because I wanted this whole album

[46:58]just to be Jimi's vision. And I've

[46:59]worked with so many bands that I knew that if it's

[47:01]decision by committee, it always gets watered down.

[47:03]So that's why you have this super, super strong

[47:06]vision of an album coming from a true

[47:07]genius. And basically his background, guys,

[47:09]this is why it's so funny. When I was younger,

[47:11]I loved this album and I was like, I

[47:13]want to learn how to play this album. And

[47:15]of course, the guitar is way too hard. And I

[47:17]realized that right away. I was like, I will never be good

[47:19]enough to play this on guitar. So instead

[47:21]I'm going to get a bass guitar and I'm going to learn

[47:23]this entire album on bass. And

[47:25]I realize now listening to it, it is

[47:27]the simplest. I know why this is like

[47:29]lazy Rob coming out. It is the simplest baseline

[47:32]of all time. It's like boom, boom, boom, boom,

[47:34]boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And

[47:35]I'd be playing. I'd be like, I'm kind of like Jimi Hendrix.

[47:37]I'm just like, I mean, can

[47:39]you imagine like, just think about kids right

[47:41]now. Imagine you're going to go crush guitar.

[47:43]You wrote tonight on the bass, the bass portion

[47:45]of it. Imagine the kids in your house right now, except

[47:47]now they have a super loud electric

[47:49]instrument that they can turn up way loud and it

[47:51]only plays super low sounds that

[47:53]shake the whole house. Like how miserable that

[47:55]would be. Kids are miserable to have in the house, much

[47:57]less when you give them a device to make sounds.

[47:59]But so

[48:01]basically they recorded this

[48:03]album. And then the big

[48:05]break for the United States is that Paul McCartney was

[48:07]in charge of planning the Monterey

[48:09]Pop Festival. And he goes, listen, if

[48:11]you want me to do this, you just have to bring

[48:13]in one guy. And that's Jimi Hendrix.

[48:15]He's a real ace on the guitar.

[48:17]And Jimi Hendrix came into the Monterey Pop Festival.

[48:19]And I just want to play you this. He opened with

[48:21]Killing Floor. And if you get a chance to see

[48:23]this video, I showed this to these guys last week.

[48:25]It's so great. You hear the guitar.

[48:27]It's pitch black. And all of a sudden they

[48:29]hit the lights. And here's Jimi in like a pink

[48:31]flower boa. And of course, his background

[48:33]guys look like real losers. But he is like the coolest

[48:35]thing you've ever seen playing this guitar like you've

[48:37]never heard it before. Check this out.

[48:39]I mean, just imagine

[48:41]you're like, oh, here's this new guy, Jimi Hendrix.

[48:43]And there's no light yet.

[48:45]And to put this in perspective,

[48:47]this is within like four years of Bob

[48:49]Newhart winning a Grammy, correct?

[48:51]Right?

[48:53]Bob Newhart was his opening act for this.

[48:55]So there's balls

[48:57]and strikes. Balls and strikes.

[48:59]And he won the Grammy. And this is within

[49:01]four years of that. This would blow your mind.

[49:03]I mean,

[49:04]this whole thing, I mean.

[49:07]This is three people. Three people

[49:09]in this band. He sounds like six guitars

[49:11]at once. And this

[49:13]destroys when you listen

[49:15]to this compared to like the Beatles or

[49:17]the Beach Boys,

[49:19]right?

[49:19]Yeah. Oh, totally. I mean, that goes

[49:23]without saying. Like, it's crazy.

[49:25]And this is the one where he burned his guitar at the end

[49:27]of the festival. And all of a sudden, he just blew up.

[49:29]Like, this is what made Jimi Hendrix

[49:31]Jimi Hendrix. So let's get into

[49:33]Are You Experienced? I did you guys. Now,

[49:35]I'm going to tell you also, this is the first

[49:37]CD I ever owned. I know every note of the

[49:39]CD. This is really like a special, special

[49:41]thing to me. So if you say anything bad,

[49:43]I will kill you. So please just keep that

[49:45]in mind. I now know how you guys feel like when we do

[49:47]albums you like. And I'm like, what's the big deal

[49:49]about this? If you say anything bad about this, I will kill

[49:51]you. So just keep that in mind.

[49:52]All right. We've got Purple Haze.

[49:55]It's good when somebody's stoked for the album, man.

[49:57]The enthusiasm is great. Oh my God. I love

[49:59]this album. It just brought a night. Did you guys

[50:01]did you guys overall have fun listening to it this week?

[50:03]Was this a fun album to listen to?

[50:04]That's a, yeah. That's a final ranking

[50:07]conversation. Absolutely. Yeah. But I will

[50:09]I do want to say, and I'm going to try to

[50:11]I'm going to try to lay out and let Rob talk more, but I

[50:13]want to say that at one point this week

[50:15]I put this song on

[50:16]and my son got a tiny smile on his face

[50:19]and he said, this is my favorite

[50:21]song. And I felt like

[50:23]Beck Did It Better has succeeded.

[50:24]I'm so stoked. And now he'll say

[50:27]like, I like Jimi Hendrix. So

[50:28]I don't need to do any more albums. This is great.

[50:31]You should be worried because the notes he's playing

[50:33]in the song are called a tricord.

[50:35]A tricord. And for the longest

[50:37]time, the church band playing

[50:38]these notes together.

[50:39]Because they said it was like ringing Satan's

[50:43]Satan's doorbell. And now

[50:45]your kid likes it.

[50:46]We got a Damien situation going

[50:49]on here. I do think Jimi's unique

[50:51]in that he didn't grow up in the church.

[50:52]You know, he ended up playing in the R&B

[50:55]circuit with a lot of people who had played in the church,

[50:57]but he didn't grow up that way. So like he has a

[50:59]totally, him and Bill Withers are kind of

[51:01]similar that way. Also, it pains me to

[51:03]say this, but your kid is dumb. This is not

[51:05]the best guitar song ever. As ranked by Rolling

[51:07]Stone Magazine, it's like God and

[51:09]Savior. This is only the number two guitar song.

[51:11]So next time he says that, I want you to yell at him.

[51:13]Do you have a can

[51:15]of nickels that you shake at him to reinforce good

[51:17]spirit, take bad things out of his

[51:19]behavior? Okay, don't do that. But

[51:20]this is actually number two. Do you know

[51:23]what the number one guitar song of all time is?

[51:24]It's going to be Stairway to Heaven. Maybe

[51:27]it's a good guess. It

[51:29]is Johnny B. Good.

[51:30]And now I can see that. And number three is

[51:33]Crossroads, which it's a

[51:34]banger of a song. But yeah, so that's

[51:37]Purple Haze and this bone thugs in

[51:38]harmony. Can I say, Rob, before we move on

[51:41]to the next song,

[51:43]in honor of Purple Haze, tonight

[51:45]I'm drinking a beer and it's a lager

[51:47]and it's called Purple Haze, as you guys

[51:49]can see. It's a lager

[51:51]brewed with raspberries and added

[51:52]after filtration. And

[51:55]it's supposed to be really good with salads or

[51:57]light fruit desserts, such as

[51:58]soufflés or chiffon cakes. I don't even

[52:00]know what a chiffon cake is. I've never had one.

[52:03]But according to Beer Connoisseur,

[52:05]it works good with chiffon cakes.

[52:07]So check out Purple Haze beer. It's

[52:08]fantastic. Yeah, and I can see that you're also

[52:10]mowing down that big salad. I got to

[52:12]edit out these noises of you just eating all that lettuce

[52:14]over there. Man, shit,

[52:16]I got to say one more thing about Purple Haze.

[52:18]And it's that my son has

[52:21]a friend in his class named Hazel

[52:23]and I've tried now with both

[52:25]of her parents when she wears a purple jacket

[52:26]to say, hey, we've been

[52:28]listening to Jimi Hendrix at home. When Hazel wears a purple

[52:30]jacket, I want to color Purple Haze. Nothing.

[52:33]Crickets. They hate me so much.

[52:35]I am the least favorite parent at my son's

[52:36]school, all because of this album. This

[52:38]literally sounds like a podcast episode.

[52:40]Yeah, it's about the same reaction you get every,

[52:42]every Friday night, right, Aaron? Okay,

[52:44]Aaron, let's, let's role play this a little bit. Okay, I'll

[52:46]be the parents. I'll be like, okay,

[52:48]Hazel, go to school. This is in your purple jacket.

[52:50]What do you think about this? Yeah.

[52:52]And I say, hey, Hazel's

[52:55]mom, we've been

[52:56]listening to Jimi Hendrix at home. How come you're talking

[52:58]to me in a kid's school? Get out of

[53:00]here. Are you drunk on a

[53:02]scooter?

[53:02]Are you,

[53:06]are you the dad who brings the cheese toward ladies

[53:08]every week? Are you that dad?

[53:10]I heard your podcast. You guys are

[53:12]perverted. Talk about

[53:13]I would never share this podcast with

[53:16]my son's school.

[53:18]Like

[53:19]dads that work, dads that work

[53:22]the recess at this school don't wear

[53:24]seven inch shorts. They wear nine inch shorts.

[53:26]Okay.

[53:26]Oh, my

[53:30]life. All right. Speaking of my life, manic

[53:32]depression.

[53:32]Now I tried to put

[53:36]as many guitar solos in. I tried to think like,

[53:38]how would Aaron want me to stack these songs?

[53:40]So I tried to put in a bunch of guitar solos.

[53:42]Along with his singing.

[53:43]That's honestly ironic because I

[53:48]spent a lot of time reading about his rhythm guitar

[53:50]style instead of his solos.

[53:51]I'm not even joking. Is that a joke?

[53:53]What the hell? I put in the solos

[53:56]for you and now you're saying you didn't even read about his solo

[53:58]career? Yeah, because I read about

[54:00]his rhythm guitar style, which he

[54:01]builds up. Only you would read about

[54:03]Jimi Hendrix's rhythm guitar style.

[54:06]The one thing nobody gives a shit about

[54:08]with Jimi Hendrix. One of the greatest guitar

[54:10]players of all time. Oh, his singing isn't

[54:12]that great. His guitar playing is awesome. Yeah, but

[54:14]how does he play rhythm guitar?

[54:15]Because that's how he grew up. What the fuck are you talking about?

[54:18]Because that was his gig. He

[54:19]gigged as an R&B player in the South

[54:22]in the 60s with Little Richard,

[54:24]Curtis Knight and the Squires.

[54:25]I think he might have played with Sam Cooke for like a gig or two.

[54:28]And there's a lot, there's

[54:30]a fair amount of writing about how his

[54:32]rhythm guitar playing was influenced.

[54:34]His playing was influenced by Steve

[54:36]Cropper of

[54:37]the Southern Stax

[54:39]Studio. Yep. And Curtis Mayfair.

[54:42]Their parents fight like this.

[54:43]Shut up back in the backseat back there. But it's cool because

[54:45]what he does as a rhythm

[54:47]guitarist informs, and we're going to get into it

[54:49]actually in the very next song.

[54:51]What he does as a rhythm guitarist builds

[54:54]on everything else. It's what

[54:55]allows a trio to sound like a

[54:57]sextet or more. I'm sorry, I'm done.

[54:59]Okay, you just did that whole thing

[55:02]so you could say sextet at the end?

[55:03]That's what you were sleeping in the garage was your sextet.

[55:08]You guys know what I'm talking about?

[55:09]I almost got that out without laughing.

[55:12]All right, so

[55:13]then we have Hey Joe. This is the only

[55:15]cover on the album. This is the first single to

[55:17]come out.

[55:18]Who wrote this song? I don't know. I didn't know it was

[55:29]a cover. I have something really cool.

[55:31]I was reading about this song is there's

[55:33]actually a thing where the Guinness Book of World Records

[55:36]has set up multiple times

[55:38]where people have congregated

[55:40]multiple guitar players. So the

[55:41]robs of the world have shown up to play

[55:43]this guitar to set the world record for

[55:45]the most guitar players playing a single

[55:47]song. And so it started

[55:49]1,572 people

[55:51]came to Warsaw, Poland

[55:53]to play this song and it's built and built

[55:55]and they keep breaking the record every few years.

[55:57]A few years ago, they had 7,300

[55:59]guitar players in Poland

[56:01]that all showed up and all played

[56:03]Hey Joe at the same time to break

[56:05]the Guinness Book of World Records. I thought that was so cool.

[56:07]You had me show up and I'm like, Hey

[56:09]Jude, don't

[56:11]wait. Everyone's just staring at you like

[56:13]what the hell? No, I misread the sign.

[56:15]I can't read Polish guys.

[56:17]It's all Polish to me. You know what I'm talking about?

[56:19]Hey, can I have a hot dog? What

[56:21]that gets me in trouble over here? Fine.

[56:23]Take a

[56:25]pull of sausage as a joke. I'm

[56:27]Aaron. You sent

[56:29]us a picture of your hot dog. Okay,

[56:31]that's it.

[56:32]Aaron just uses a hot dog

[56:37]as a device to eat a ton of jalapeno

[56:39]peppers. Aaron sent us this

[56:41]picture of this hot dog and there

[56:43]had to be two dozen jalapenos

[56:45]on there. Aaron, you're not eating hot dogs.

[56:47]You're eating jalapenos. That's what's going

[56:49]on in your hot dog day, correct? It's true,

[56:51]but it wasn't just the jalapenos. It's the

[56:53]Martin's potato roll. I got to get that

[56:54]beautiful potato roll bun that combined

[56:57]with and then the hot dogs just like in the background

[56:59]is some salty, funky beefiness.

[57:01]That was my

[57:03]nickname in high school.

[57:04]That's what I call my penis.

[57:06]Love or

[57:09]and by the way, when you sent me that hot dog, you're like, look how

[57:11]big this is. That was a normal size hot dog to me.

[57:13]Okay, so it wasn't even

[57:14]love or confusion.

[57:17]Matt, what do you think

[57:25]of the album so far?

[57:26]I mean, are you listening

[57:31]to that rhythm guitar, Matt?

[57:32]Yeah, I just, you know, the rhythm guitar

[57:35]is just, I don't know, I'm captivated

[57:37]by it. I had to go and read a bunch about

[57:39]it. Oh my God. I like the most boring

[57:41]guitar parts. I feel like

[57:43]I feel like I'm kind of just a

[57:45]superficial Jimi Hendrix fan. I mean,

[57:47]Purple Haze and Hey Joe are great.

[57:49]I'm a super fan too. This rocks.

[57:50]Yeah. You know,

[57:53]Hey Joe, we talked a lot

[57:55]about it, but on a lot

[57:57]of these songs, you really, I'm

[57:59]trying to remember who, it was Velvet Underground

[58:01]where they had that song about him getting

[58:02]onto cocaine

[58:04]or heroin or whatever, whatever, everything picked up and you could

[58:07]feel the song. I feel like Hey Joe, you know, it starts

[58:09]off real slow.

[58:11]And all of a sudden, you know, he goes, I got a gun

[58:12]and I shot her. You know, then it just goes crazy.

[58:14]Like, he's telling a great

[58:16]story with his guitar. And

[58:18]you hear that in every song that he's got.

[58:20]And so,

[58:21]I don't always understand everything

[58:24]that's going on. I think he's pretty

[58:26]wild in a

[58:28]controlled way, if that can be

[58:30]it. You know, that's the shtick, if

[58:32]you will. But, yeah. Overall,

[58:35]I think the songs that

[58:36]everybody knows, I'm a huge fan of. And the

[58:38]other ones, you know, they're good. I just don't

[58:40]know how much I'll go back and listen to them.

[58:42]That almost is going to get your ass

[58:45]kicked by me, just seeing that. That was almost bad

[58:46]enough. I had a

[58:48]talk up, you know, the

[58:50]old thing where you say one good thing, and then

[58:52]you kind of say the bad thing, and then you say another good thing again

[58:55]to come back around. Listen, I'm a teacher. That's my whole

[58:57]life. You know, he didn't say, well, this song's

[58:58]interesting. Isn't that nice?

[59:00]Let's talk about

[59:02]Love or Confusion. May

[59:04]this be love.

[59:06]No, we just

[59:08]talked about, I just played Love or Confusion.

[59:10]Didn't I?

[59:12]Oh, my bad. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did.

[59:14]I know. We did. Okay. We're good.

[59:16]This is why I'm the host.

[59:18]I think we did. You're the main

[59:20]host. Okay, I'm the main host. Check the tape.

[59:22]We did play it. Rob was right.

[59:24]Okay, and if only we had somehow

[59:26]confirmed that. We may not have

[59:28]played it. This might be the first time where we skipped

[59:30]a song. Wait. No, we didn't.

[59:32]Oh, I love that shit.

[59:34]When he does the

[59:35]and the whoop.

[59:40]You gotta say that each song on this album is super

[59:42]distinct, isn't it? Like, they each have their own

[59:44]kind of sound. I love it.

[59:45]And his voice here, I know he gets kind of

[59:48]crap as a singer, but I think his voice plays really

[59:50]well with his rhythm guitar.

[59:52]Listen to these drums in the back.

[59:58]It's just the jazz toms. I was thinking

[60:00]about this when I was listening to this. We've talked about

[60:02]Ringo being, Eric calls him a shit drummer

[60:04]all the time, and it's a bit overboard, but

[60:06]is this the first time

[60:08]where we've heard an album where you're like, wow,

[60:10]who is playing the drums?

[60:11]What other albums have we listened to?

[60:14]I know Aaron's going to be pissed because Questlove

[60:16]may be playing the drums on Voodoo,

[60:18]but what other albums have we listened

[60:20]to so far where you're like, holy shit,

[60:22]what's going on with the drums? I think this is

[60:24]the first album we've listened to. In a good way, you mean, like where the drums are like taking

[60:26]center stage, like this is something I want to listen to.

[60:28]Yeah.

[60:30]What albums have we listened to where

[60:32]the drums were the centerpiece of a song

[60:34]for a little bit? Because it's on three or

[60:36]four of these songs, but clearly there's a drum

[60:38]focus, and there hasn't been a lot

[60:40]of albums like that so far, right?

[60:41]And you know what's crazy about this is if you

[60:43]learned how they did these songs, like I said,

[60:45]Jimi Hendrix would set up all these songs, he'd write

[60:48]out the chords, he would take the rhythm,

[60:49]and then they would go to the studio, show it to

[60:51]these guys, and they were such talented

[60:53]musicians that a lot of these

[60:56]they would just get in a couple of

[60:57]takes. Like these are live rehearsals,

[60:59]and for example, Foxy Lady,

[61:01]it's the first time they played it. That's the take they're

[61:03]using on the album. Like these guys are so talented

[61:06]that they can take

[61:07]this and just add something like,

[61:10]to get a guitarist like Jimi Hendrix,

[61:12]you could easily just sit back and do absolutely

[61:14]nothing. But Mitch Mitchell's adding

[61:16]so much, and you're asking, do I know about the drummer

[61:18]on this? And the answer is yes, because this was one of

[61:20]these middle school reports I would do.

[61:22]It would be on Jimi Hendrix, and I would just

[61:24]recycle it every year. They'd be like,

[61:26]you need an informative... Jackie Robinson was my go-to.

[61:28]I think I probably did it five, six times.

[61:30]Oh, you need an informative speech. Boom.

[61:31]You know, talking about Jimi Hendrix.

[61:34]You need a biographical speech. Boom.

[61:36]Talk about Jimi Hendrix. Same one, same note cards

[61:38]every time. It's perfect. Next year, keep going.

[61:39]It set me up for my life as a teacher where I just

[61:41]teach the same damn thing year after year

[61:43]after year. So great.

[61:45]The lazy man's job.

[61:46]All right. Let's talk about

[61:49]I Don't Live Today.

[61:50]I love the drums on this.

[61:53]This song used to get me

[61:57]so fired up. I used to listen to this song before football

[61:59]games.

[62:00]This was the one? That's the life of a

[62:03]D3 football player, right? Like instead of Welcome

[62:05]to the Jungle, the D3 football players

[62:07]listen to I Don't Live Today. But I want to listen to

[62:09]the bass on this song.

[62:10]You hear how it does nothing whatsoever? That

[62:15]was my goal. I was like, I want to play bass on this

[62:17]song. And it was just like,

[62:18]I'm listening. Okay.

[62:21]You guys don't care. This was like, Rosie, will

[62:23]you, will you just

[62:25]comment on the whole thing that he's not a

[62:27]good singer? Like I would never say I would

[62:29]never think to think Jimi

[62:31]Hendrix is not like a good singer

[62:33]like we need to

[62:34]do. Did they modify it at all?

[62:37]I mean, you guys know me like, you know,

[62:39]I think anyone who

[62:41]is willing to put their

[62:43]voice on record is worth

[62:45]listening to. And I

[62:47]think he, yeah, like he doesn't make

[62:49]really beautiful sounds

[62:51]necessarily. And he doesn't make

[62:53]a, it's hard to

[62:55]capture the attention over what he's doing with his guitar.

[62:57]But any, any human voice

[62:59]that's willing to put themselves on wax

[63:01]and make a statement, I think is

[63:03]worth listening to. I think he

[63:05]felt self-conscious about how he was as

[63:07]a singer. And

[63:09]you know, I don't, I don't think

[63:11]he, you know, I like deep recording.

[63:13]Well, that's not, that's not what put

[63:15]it on wax means, Russell. You're doing something different

[63:17]that that's not what we're talking about.

[63:19]I mean, this is

[63:21]his range. Like

[63:23]he just doesn't go high and low. He's just kind of

[63:25]very in the middle. Yeah, I mean, it's sort of like

[63:27]a sing-songy kind of

[63:29]closer to speech than singing maybe.

[63:31]But it's weird. Like

[63:33]this book I read by Philip

[63:35]Norman, who seemed to be very interested in just

[63:37]like placing him

[63:39]in the British context, which was strange,

[63:41]but whatever.

[63:41]But there apparently was a movement to call

[63:45]him the Black Dylan. And

[63:47]you know, maybe Dylan is

[63:49]an analog for what he was

[63:51]as a singer, but I think other

[63:53]blues singers are probably closer.

[63:55]He's definitely singing from the soul and from the heart.

[63:57]Like, I wouldn't want to hear him

[63:59]sing These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding,

[64:01]but I wouldn't want to hear Otis Redding try

[64:03]to play guitar on Hey Joe.

[64:05]So I think he's, I mean, I enjoy hearing his voice

[64:07]and it always moves

[64:09]me, so.

[64:09]But I think there's room, you know, all God's

[64:13]creatures got a place in the choir, right? So there's room for all

[64:15]the voices.

[64:15]That's what I tell my dates, too, when they're trying to break

[64:21]up with me. I'm like, hey, hey,

[64:22]all of your creatures have a place

[64:25]in your life here. Guys, I'm really sorry. That was so boring

[64:27]and I walked away from the podcast a little bit.

[64:29]As you can see, I've taken off my shirt.

[64:31]You came back without a shirt on. Hold on, what's

[64:33]going on? So first of all, I just

[64:35]had to put on a sweatshirt because my wife is

[64:37]sleeping in my room. You know goddamn well Rob planned this.

[64:39]You know goddamn well, dude, this

[64:41]was going to happen. The only shirt I could find

[64:43]outside of my room was a sweatshirt

[64:45]and I had to put that on because my wife is sleeping in the room

[64:47]and I'm too scared to go in the room to try to get

[64:49]my own shirt. So I'm

[64:51]wearing a sweatshirt and I realized my daughter had the heat

[64:53]turned on, so now I am dying of heat

[64:55]stroke, so.

[64:56]You could use some wind. That cries Mary.

[65:01]Rob, this is where, Rob generally

[65:03]does not listen when we do

[65:04]transitions, but maybe he'll do it this

[65:07]time for once. You know,

[65:09]when at my wedding, it was

[65:11]more like my wife

[65:12]cried when we got married, but you guys

[65:15]are saying the wind cries Mary?

[65:16]The wind cries Mary.

[65:18]Bad ass song, so bad ass.

[65:23]This is a song he wrote about after a fight

[65:25]with his girlfriend.

[65:26]It was his girlfriend's middle

[65:29]name too, right? Yeah, and I was thinking

[65:31]about how

[65:32]lucky Russ is that when he gets in a fight with a

[65:35]significant other, he can literally just dump them

[65:37]and never see them again. Like, I

[65:39]do not have that option. Like, every time my wife

[65:41]and I get in a fight, I have to be like, okay,

[65:42]do not say what you're going to say. Do not say

[65:45]what you're going to say. And immediately, the first

[65:47]one I pull out, I was like, oh my God, you're acting just like your

[65:49]parents. And then it's just like,

[65:50]I'm like, dang it, I shouldn't have said

[65:53]that, Rob. Why do you say that every time?

[65:55]Russ is just like, okay, goodbye. We'll never

[65:57]see each other again. That sounds so awesome to me, Russ.

[65:59]Matt, if you had to write a song

[66:01]about a fight that you and your spouse have been in,

[66:03]what would that song be called? For me,

[66:05]it would be called, what the

[66:07]fuck are these crumbs doing on the counter? I just turned,

[66:09]I just was cleaning it. What the hell? I just

[66:11]turned around. I was going to clean it up in two seconds. Why do

[66:13]you got to be mad at me? It's not quite as euphonious,

[66:15]but I think it's a good song still.

[66:16]I think something along the line of that

[66:19]spoon's not going to put itself

[66:21]in the dishwasher. Just put the fucking spoon

[66:23]in the dishwasher. Something along those lines.

[66:25]Yeah. How does that go with that dryer song earlier?

[66:27]What was the dryer song at the beginning? But see, the

[66:29]difference, yeah, Aaron doesn't like to use a dryer.

[66:31]The difference is, Matt, you're singing that song to

[66:33]her, right? Because I immediately thought she

[66:35]would be singing it to you, because that's what my wife is always saying.

[66:37]She's like, you need to wash the dishes before you

[66:39]put it in the dishwasher. All of our dishes

[66:41]are covered in rice. The dishwasher's broken.

[66:42]Stuff like that. Songs like that. Shout out to rice,

[66:45]though. Rice is such a great carb. It's really

[66:47]like, I never ate rice as a kid. It's wonderful.

[66:48]No, no,

[66:51]no, no. You're not changing the subject. What's the name of the

[66:53]song you and your wife got in a fight?

[66:54]And don't say my dick too big,

[66:56]okay? We're not buying that.

[66:58]Wife and I fight about dick too big. Don't think so.

[67:03]Mine is like, ying yang.

[67:04]I'm mad. I'm addicted

[67:07]to what the dick did. You know, I can

[67:09]get in that fight with my wife. I just noticed

[67:11]that you're doing that leaf

[67:13]blowing in the yard that I was supposed to do, and

[67:15]I'm so sorry that I haven't gotten out there

[67:17]yet to take care of that, because that was supposed to be

[67:19]my job.

[67:19]Aaron lives a wild life.

[67:24]That's a fight you guys had? Is it an apology?

[67:27]You guys fight way differently than Jay

[67:29]and I do. I was thinking

[67:31]I wish I could have asked you guys this earlier

[67:33]about the, what was my game

[67:35]called earlier? Love or Confusion?

[67:36]I don't know if I've been on many

[67:39]within the last year where I've ever found out

[67:41]a girl's middle name. This girl,

[67:42]The Wind Cries Mary was about her middle name

[67:45]being Mary. I feel like if you know their

[67:47]middle name, that's love

[67:48]and not confusion. Am I right?

[67:50]If you're asking about the middle name

[67:53]right away on the first date, that's probably not a good sign.

[67:55]I think it's a nice sentence.

[67:56]What's your middle name?

[67:58]Ask me if they're going to take your last

[68:01]name or what. I would say that. That's how I

[68:03]open up. Seven kids

[68:05]or eight? I don't think Jimmy is the right barometer

[68:07]for what is love or confusion, because

[68:09]we're well

[68:11]into this album. We've not talked about the fact that

[68:12]he's on the Wilt Chamberlain

[68:15]level of women.

[68:16]The numbers were

[68:18]off the charts for him.

[68:20]He had two

[68:23]fiancées in the same town

[68:24]when he finally passed.

[68:26]It was non-stop for him.

[68:29]At least Eric

[68:30]keeps his wives in different towns. I could get

[68:33]my errands annoyed by this. At least

[68:35]he keeps them in different time zones. And listen, it sounds

[68:36]like during this podcast, I don't love my wife. I do love

[68:39]my wife, but I'm going to just say this again. Can you imagine

[68:40]being married to two separate people?

[68:42]Jesus. It would be

[68:44]unbelievable.

[68:45]Unbelievable. Matt would have to

[68:48]load that dryer for two different families.

[68:50]It would be a real bitch. You would get done, and

[68:52]they would tell you a story about work, and then wife

[68:54]B would come in and tell you a story about her work.

[68:57]You would not get to bed

[69:00]until midnight. They would both be yelling at you. I can't

[69:02]sleep. I can't sleep. Why is a dog walking around?

[69:04]Rob, you would have two women insulting you

[69:06]about the size of your spandex.

[69:09]Spandex suits. Not one.

[69:10]I'd be like, listen, I'm doing this thing Aaron taught me.

[69:12]I'm going to close my eyes and try to get into bed.

[69:14]Sorry if I'm going to wake you up. I am not a role model.

[69:16]It's a cool thing to do on the West Coast.

[69:20]One of the two is proud to be into this.

[69:22]Yeah, you're just playing the odds.

[69:24]I will say that Wind Cries Mary song,

[69:26]he recorded that in 20 minutes

[69:28]right after they were recording Fire.

[69:30]He was like, hey guys, here's a song I wrote, and that

[69:32]was literally the third take that they ever did

[69:34]was that song. It's craziness.

[69:36]20 minutes. That sounds like a Matt

[69:38]intro song, a parody song from Matt, right?

[69:41]20 minute effort. You're right. We are

[69:42]just like Jimi Hendrix. Is there a

[69:44]better kind of

[69:46]opening line to a song than

[69:48]a broom is jitterily sweeping the

[69:50]broken pieces of, what is it, yesterday's

[69:52]life? Like, I mean, that's

[69:54]that's poetry, man.

[69:56]That's, you know, he's painting a picture.

[69:58]Agreed. I don't know. That's

[70:00]good stuff.

[70:01]Game set match. Thank you.

[70:06]This

[70:08]Rob was feverishly

[70:10]searching through his

[70:12]board of soundbites

[70:14]for that. I was like, what is he looking

[70:16]for? And then he went to the jitterbug.

[70:17]I just want to take our listeners behind the scenes for a minute.

[70:19]This is our main host. And you can, you know, you can listen

[70:22]to this or not, but Rob has this beautiful

[70:24]soundboard organized

[70:26]instead of organizing it

[70:28]like a sane

[70:30]person where you have the file name

[70:32]in a list

[70:34]where you can find it easily.

[70:36]Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me, let me

[70:38]describe what I'm looking at. So I have

[70:40]a device. I have like a screen

[70:42]that has all my sound clips

[70:43]and in my head it is set up. You see

[70:46]these little triangles and but you can only see like

[70:48]one word. So for example, one just

[70:50]says Jing Bell. So I know for example

[70:52]that's obviously just says

[70:54]penis Jing Bell. Yeah, one just says penis.

[70:56]So I know obviously that's what I'm going to start calling

[70:58]periodic table instead of just putting it

[71:00]in a list. It's like all over the board. All

[71:02]these icons. It makes me

[71:04]stressed out. It's grouped

[71:06]by color. See like the light

[71:08]blue. I have Aaron's favorite songs

[71:09]but like I've got these black ones are all

[71:15]Matt, right?

[71:16]I've got the Rob

[71:20]is just right here.

[71:20]Never ever gets played.

[71:29]Yeah, but I do have too many sound

[71:31]raps.

[71:31]Next song.

[71:35]No, I think we can swallow in the pause.

[71:37]All right.

[71:38]We've got just what I'm going to do

[71:40]to Aaron after this podcast. Fired.

[71:42]That doesn't

[71:43]that'd be the worst one ever. Like Aaron,

[71:46]thanks for getting abused by us. By the way, you're out of the

[71:48]podcast now.

[71:48]We don't need you anymore.

[71:52]This was the one where I listened to and I was like,

[71:54]holy shit. This is the first time

[71:56]where I've noticed the drums on

[71:58]one of these top 30 albums so far. You guys

[72:00]see what I'm saying on that or not? The drums are so

[72:02]good. This is so

[72:03]great. That high pitch snare

[72:06]and not that not that dissimilar. Apparently,

[72:08]they said that they had a real

[72:12]problem recording this because they cranked up the amplifier

[72:14]so high that they were like below a bank

[72:16]recording and apparently it messed up like

[72:18]everything that was going on in the bank above them. But

[72:20]I'm like, you know what? If you're in a bank and you hear

[72:21]this being played, would you really be like, hey,

[72:23]turn that down. I'm trying to make a

[72:26]deposit. Whatever you do to bank. I haven't been inside

[72:27]a bank in like four years. I haven't had money for

[72:29]four years. If I had to go talk to a teller,

[72:32]I would be terrified.

[72:32]Third Stone from the Sun.

[72:38]I love this song.

[72:42]I thought you told us in text

[72:46]you didn't like this song. It's filler and then the more I listened

[72:48]to it, I was like, this is rocks. It's like surf guitar.

[72:50]Like it's

[72:50]if you like him just playing guitar,

[72:54]I highly recommend going to Alexa

[72:56]and saying play the BBC sessions

[72:57]for Jimi Hendrix. They're so good. There's a lot

[73:00]of songs like this where it's just him jamming on guitar

[73:02]live. It's excellent. I listened to

[73:04]it all today.

[73:04]He claimed this was a song about alien

[73:07]aliens taking over Earth and realizing humans suck

[73:09]and then they kill all the humans. He was a big sci-fi

[73:12]fan. I mean, he did a lot of acid

[73:13]also. He was a he was a

[73:15]huge sci-fi fan. Now that's

[73:18]some crazy stuff. That's a good story.

[73:20]There's got to be a great story about the

[73:21]night he wrote that. He's like

[73:23]he's like eating a chicken nugget and he almost chokes

[73:25]on it and he goes, wait a minute.

[73:27]That song is where you can be like you can

[73:29]just hear where it like yeah, for

[73:31]sure. Talk to

[73:33]Miles Davis. They like they had definitely had

[73:35]conversations about trying to play together, record together

[73:37]and you can you can kind of hear where he's

[73:40]starting to meld the jazz funk stuff and

[73:41]you know, it's like

[73:43]great unknown. You never know what his career would have

[73:45]been in the 70s if he stayed alive.

[73:47]All right, and now

[73:51]the song I had to explain to Aaron Foxy

[73:53]Lady Foxy Lady

[73:55]listen to this Hendrix court. He's coming in on

[73:57]here right away. It's going to

[73:59]wow.

[74:00]Can you not think about Wayne's world

[74:03]when you hear this? Is it possible? Yeah,

[74:05]I was going to say first time you ever heard the

[74:07]song 1992 Wayne's

[74:09]world for me personally. He claims

[74:12]that or it's been claimed that this was

[74:13]written about Roger Daltrey, the lead singer from the

[74:15]who his wife and I

[74:17]was like, can you imagine being married

[74:20]like this is the best

[74:22]I can hope for is not that I would be the Foxy woman

[74:23]somehow, but that I would be married to

[74:25]the Foxy woman. Like can you imagine being like, oh

[74:27]yeah, you know that song Foxy Lady

[74:29]that's about my wife like that would rule

[74:31]so good.

[74:32]You guys don't have anything to say about

[74:35]that. I think I think the one thing that

[74:37]jumps out to me is the guitar. It's kind of got that

[74:39]fuzzy sound. It started make me think

[74:41]what goes into the sound that makes Kendrick

[74:43]so unique, right? And I think

[74:45]one of the things that makes Hendrix

[74:47]kind of a pioneer is you use this fuzz

[74:49]pedal, right? So there's this

[74:51]fuzzy sound that comes with Hendrix. So I

[74:53]wanted to dive in and do a list

[74:55]on the greatest fuzz pedal

[74:57]rock songs of all time.

[74:59]You know, when I think about list,

[75:03]I think about the classical composer. Sorry.

[75:07]Is that a good joke? I think it is.

[75:09]I've noticed you guys are laughing

[75:11]less and less of my jokes. It makes me think I might be

[75:13]telling too many. No, Rob, that

[75:15]can't be right. You're doing a great job. Keep it up.

[75:17]Yes, I know, Rob. Thank you.

[75:18]Rob, we'll definitely be still laughing like

[75:21]11 years from now when we hit album 490.

[75:23]We gift this album

[75:25]to Aaron's child to teach him about

[75:27]what Aaron was like.

[75:28]Your dad was a sad man that we verbally

[75:31]abused for years and years. There used

[75:33]to be a spark there.

[75:34]Yeah.

[75:37]Yeah.

[75:37]We told him we had him on because he knew a lot

[75:39]about music, but it was actually because he's the only one

[75:41]who would get mad if we verbally abused him over

[75:43]and over for episode after episode.

[75:45]I can't believe they were talking about my fuzz pedal

[75:51]on episode 29. It was so embarrassing.

[75:53]But so Hendrix is kind of a prime

[75:57]example of someone who brought this fuzz pedal

[75:59]into rock music and kind of

[76:01]had that different sound and is very unique.

[76:03]You notice it with all Hendrix sounds, right?

[76:05]And so I started wondering, where does this fuzz

[76:07]pedal song, where does that sound

[76:09]come from? And so the first song

[76:11]that I want to share with you guys is this song called

[76:13]Don't Worry by Marty Robbins.

[76:15]And so this fuzz sound was back

[76:17]in the 80s, obviously, right?

[76:18]Check this out for a second.

[76:21]Oh, what?

[76:23]Fuck yeah, I hear that.

[76:25]That sounds great. You hear that?

[76:27]It sounds so distorted like something broke, right?

[76:30]This is me on bass learning Jimi Hendrix. This is what it sounds

[76:31]like coming out of my room all through my preteen

[76:33]years. I mean, can you imagine listening to a son

[76:35]just play bass? Hey, mom, listen to this.

[76:37]Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[76:39]She'd be like, God, you suck. Like, I spent money

[76:41]on that and that's all you can play.

[76:42]I hate you so much.

[76:44]So this was in 1960 and they're recording

[76:47]this song and what happened was there was a faulty

[76:49]channel on the mixing

[76:51]desk when the bass was playing. Like Spice?

[76:53]And so they, yeah, so

[76:55]all of a sudden you have this completely different

[76:57]sound and people were annoyed by it

[76:59]but they decided not to re-record it.

[77:01]So eventually, this song becomes

[77:03]like a hit on the country charts and everyone's

[77:05]like, what is that sound? How do we

[77:07]do that? And it turns out

[77:09]it becomes this thing for the fuzz pedal.

[77:11]So this engineer who

[77:13]messed up on the board ends

[77:15]up creating this thing called the fuzz pedal where

[77:17]this box where people can create this song.

[77:19]This is the coolest fact I have learned on the podcast.

[77:21]I mean, that is so awesome that that's

[77:23]how they came up with pedals in general. Can I tell you another cool fact about

[77:25]that song? So the bass player

[77:27]that was jamming on that, Rob, where his sound

[77:29]got messed up was a guy named

[77:31]Grady Martin who eventually became

[77:33]the guy who played the guitar on the song

[77:35]Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison.

[77:37]You guys remember Pretty Woman?

[77:39]Rob, you're gonna have to

[77:42]I apologize, Rob, but this

[77:43]is where you're gonna drop that in and be like

[77:45]Pretty Woman

[77:46]My favorite is when you sing along

[77:49]and so you make me match it up with your singing

[77:51]and you guys are never quite on

[77:53]or you don't quite know the words correctly and I'm like

[77:55]searching through the whole song and I'm like, where is this part where it says

[77:57]you know, Pretty Woman and I'm in my

[77:59]sheets. Like, I don't hear that, but that's what I'm saying

[78:01]very clearly.

[78:02]So the point is, like, the first

[78:05]time this fuzz sound came was by accident.

[78:07]But the first time that

[78:09]someone purposely

[78:11]recorded the fuzz sound was this

[78:13]band called The Ventures. Yeah.

[78:14]This is the 2000-pound beat.

[78:17]Check this out. Oh, yeah.

[78:19]Oh, yeah.

[78:22]This was in

[78:23]1962 and they were

[78:25]like one of the biggest

[78:26]instrumental bands ever. Yeah, surf band.

[78:29]Very famous.

[78:30]And so this is the first time where someone's

[78:35]intentionally doing it through the box instead of a

[78:37]fuzz speaker. Pretty cool, isn't it?

[78:39]I love this song. I would listen to this all day.

[78:41]Can you imagine

[78:45]if you listen to this all day, your day would be

[78:47]better. Like, it just would be. Can you imagine

[78:49]if somebody comes up and is like, hey,

[78:51]I need that email from you. Yeah, whatever.

[78:53]Surf's up, man.

[78:54]I love my job.

[78:56]You're in the eighth floor bathroom

[78:59]and you're like in there, got this cranking through

[79:01]a speaker. Everybody's like, oh, he's really

[79:03]going to town in there.

[79:04]He's really, you know.

[79:05]But you're going, whoa!

[79:07]Is that the fuzz in there?

[79:09]Is that the fuzz going on in that bathroom?

[79:10]Yeah. I'm still working on this fuzz pedal.

[79:13]And you walk out and you just look at all those

[79:15]middle schoolers robbing you like, that's it.

[79:16]And you walk away? No.

[79:19]The fuzz up loud again.

[79:20]And then I quit my job and have to go work somewhere else.

[79:22]You never hear the end of it.

[79:24]The next song on the list is one that

[79:27]Matt has requested more of. He wants more

[79:29]stones. And also Aaron wants

[79:31]more trombones. So this is the Rolling Stones.

[79:33]This is Satisfaction.

[79:35]And this is what really made that fuzz

[79:37]sound.

[79:37]Big is Satisfaction by the Rolling

[79:39]Stones in the mid-60s.

[79:40]I'd say this is up there with Purple Haze

[79:45]for all-time starts to a song.

[79:46]It's no Satan's door.

[79:49]So is this Keith Richards on guitar?

[79:51]You know right away what it is.

[79:52]So this is Richards playing with the fuzz pedal.

[79:55]I love this.

[79:57]And he's mimicking a trombone, Aaron.

[79:59]Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

[80:02]Play it from the beginning again.

[80:04]And it's supposed to be like a sound of a trombone.

[80:06]I can definitely hear it.

[80:07]Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Aaron?

[80:08]I never knew that. So good.

[80:11]Yeah?

[80:12]Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Hey!

[80:15]Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Oh, there's Rob in the band class.

[80:17]I think Keith is number three on the Rolling Stones list

[80:20]of best 100 guitarists, right?

[80:22]Behind Jimmy and Clapton.

[80:24]So one of the really, really cool things,

[80:28]and I showed this to Rob, there's a specific point

[80:30]in the song, and I think it's about

[80:32]30-some seconds in.

[80:34]All our listeners, they have to check it out.

[80:35]But you can hear...

[80:37]When the guitar player clicks

[80:39]on the pedal. So, Rob, if you play this part here,

[80:42]you guys will hear a click,

[80:43]and that's where he's clicking on the fuzz pedal

[80:45]for the song. Check it out.

[80:46]Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[80:49]Oh, yeah.

[80:50]Do you hear it or not?

[80:52]I can totally hear that.

[80:54]It's there. It's audible.

[80:57]You hear it? It's very faint.

[80:59]But I was reading online, that's the click

[81:01]where he clicks the fuzz pedal back on.

[81:03]I was like, that's so cool. I would have never known that.

[81:05]We're so smart.

[81:07]R.I.Q. is 175.

[81:10]Russell's is 173.

[81:12]So, I figured we had enough of these 60 songs.

[81:20]The final song on the list,

[81:22]we're going to jump up ahead.

[81:23]I know this is an Aaron and Matt favorite.

[81:25]This is Sabotage by the Beastie Boys,

[81:28]and this is the bass playing with the fuzz pedal.

[81:30]Check this out.

[81:31]Oh, the bass is playing with the fuzz.

[81:34]I wouldn't have known that.

[81:34]Yeah, you get it.

[81:37]Is that distorted fuzz gear or what?

[81:39]Matt, what do you think of the Beastie Boys?

[81:41]This is just...

[81:43]Talk about wanting to break down a video.

[81:45]You could break down this video.

[81:47]They all have mustaches like Rob's got right now.

[81:51]Their hood's sliding across their car.

[81:53]So good.

[81:55]One of the coolest things with this song is

[81:57]they had no lyrics for this until two weeks before they recorded it.

[82:01]It was supposed to be just an instrumental, no lyrics.

[82:03]They added the lyrics two weeks before,

[82:05]and that became Sabotage.

[82:06]I was like,

[82:06]this is so badass.

[82:08]This is so fun.

[82:08]So good.

[82:09]Russell, another great list about the fuzz pedal.

[82:14]It's just unbelievable.

[82:15]I just love it.

[82:16]All right.

[82:17]And finally, the last song of the album,

[82:19]Are You Experienced?

[82:21]And I should talk a little bit, by the way.

[82:23]We picked the original album version

[82:25]that was released in the United States,

[82:27]so we had to turn off some of the CD songs.

[82:29]He's not heard about that at all.

[82:31]Yeah.

[82:32]But this was a song that when I figured out

[82:36]that they had recorded,

[82:36]the guitar and drum backwards,

[82:38]I was blown away.

[82:40]Like, that's what this noise is.

[82:41]It's a guitar solo played backwards.

[82:42]And was this noise sampled by the butthole surfers,

[82:45]or did they just do something similar for their one song?

[82:47]I'm not even kidding.

[82:49]I'm not trying to be funny.

[82:50]Remember the one butthole surfer song?

[82:53]Like, they're making similar sounds, right?

[82:54]I don't mind the sun, sun, sun.

[82:58]There's only one butthole?

[83:00]They all share it?

[83:00]I think it's buttholes surfer.

[83:03]You know what I mean?

[83:04]When you pluralize like Whoppers Jr.,

[83:05]you have to do that?

[83:06]Attorney is general.

[83:07]Secretary is a state.

[83:08]It's buttholes of surfers.

[83:10]Little is fair.

[83:10]I can do this all night.

[83:10]Yeah, there's a lot of them.

[83:11]But when I was younger,

[83:14]and people would say,

[83:15]what's your favorite guitar solo?

[83:16]I was always like,

[83:17]I'm going to say,

[83:17]are you experienced?

[83:18]And then zero people ever asked me,

[83:20]what is your favorite guitar solo?

[83:21]You were ready.

[83:22]You were ready.

[83:22]But I was just the kid that always had one of those answers

[83:23]locked and loaded.

[83:24]You had it ready to go.

[83:25]Yeah.

[83:26]And now if somebody asked me,

[83:27]what's your favorite guitar solo?

[83:29]I'd be like,

[83:30]sir, I am bringing my daughter to school.

[83:32]I do not need you to harass me anymore.

[83:34]I thought we talked about this last time.

[83:36]But he's like,

[83:37]get in there.

[83:38]Get to school.

[83:38]Don't talk to this strange perverted man.

[83:40]Stranger danger.

[83:42]By the way,

[83:43]I have to say that I did write the opening song,

[83:45]and I used Aaron's full name for the whole song,

[83:47]like over and over.

[83:48]And it sounded so good,

[83:49]and I had to cut it all out

[83:50]because I was like,

[83:51]oh, that's right.

[83:51]We're not saying his last name.

[83:52]It was too funny to me.

[83:54]All right.

[83:55]Let's get into everyone's favorite segment.

[83:56]Guys,

[83:57]it's the segment that's so great.

[83:58]It says it's great in the sting.

[84:00]It's really hard to find those things.

[84:04]Forward.

[84:07]Are you sure?

[84:07]All right.

[84:09]It's time.

[84:09]So we have to do another rolling going

[84:11]and Matt's not prepared.

[84:12]This is going to be a bad,

[84:13]bad segment.

[84:13]Guys,

[84:14]I made a mistake.

[84:14]So bad news.

[84:15]We're going to start over again.

[84:16]Okay,

[84:16]let's get started here.

[84:17]Here we go.

[84:17]When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time.

[84:21]Aaron's Friar.

[84:23]Oh,

[84:23]Aaron's Friar.

[84:24]What a badass opening.

[84:25]We could have listened to this album three times in the time it took us to talk about this album.

[84:29]All right.

[84:30]So this is the rating system.

[84:32]And let me tell you about the rating system.

[84:33]I actually need to bring up my notes here.

[84:35]Okay,

[84:36]so,

[84:36]is this album rolling well toned at 30?

[84:39]That means it should be right there.

[84:40]Three dimes,

[84:42]baby.

[84:42]You know what I mean?

[84:43]Like this is 30 cents.

[84:44]This is,

[84:44]I remember when a soda would cost less than this.

[84:46]You'd go up to the machine,

[84:47]put in a quarter.

[84:48]It would say,

[84:49]nope,

[84:49]it's 30 cents.

[84:50]You'd put it in and say,

[84:50]this is perfectly well toned for how much I'm getting with the soda.

[84:53]Hence,

[84:53]the song is the same way.

[84:55]Or do you think it's rolling boned?

[84:57]Okay,

[84:57]this is too low on the list.

[84:59]All right.

[84:59]And what that means is that it should be,

[85:01]you think that the number is too high.

[85:03]It should be a lower number,

[85:04]even though my notes is as higher number for some reason.

[85:06]Or is this a rolling groan?

[85:08]You did not like this album.

[85:09]It should be a 31 or 32 or even 132 or even 1032.

[85:13]There's so many other numbers.

[85:14]And that's,

[85:15]what's crazy about this list.

[85:16]So a bigger number.

[85:16]Yeah.

[85:17]But then I was thinking about going negative too,

[85:19]but you know what?

[85:20]This podcast,

[85:21]we're going to stay positive as we learn from that texter.

[85:23]So,

[85:23]Russell,

[85:24]what do you think of this album?

[85:25]Is it rolling well toned,

[85:26]rolling boned or rolling groan?

[85:28]I'm going to start off by saying,

[85:32]this is clearly rolling boned.

[85:34]To me,

[85:35]if you rolling,

[85:36]Stone has a list of the 500 greatest songs of all time.

[85:39]And on that 500,

[85:40]there are four songs from this album.

[85:42]You have purple haze at 17 boxy lady,

[85:45]one 54.

[85:46]Hey,

[85:46]Joe at two Oh one wind cries,

[85:48]Mary at three 79.

[85:49]If you have four of the 500 greatest songs ever,

[85:52]you've got to be way higher on the list.

[85:54]And I think the thing that jumps out to me is we were texting about this and

[85:57]we had said,

[85:58]there's not a lot of filler on this album.

[86:00]There's not a lot of bullshit.

[86:01]There's not,

[86:01]there's not the revolution number nine.

[86:03]There's not,

[86:04]there's not crap on this.

[86:05]And I think,

[86:06]sometimes in life,

[86:07]the best decisions you make are the ones you don't make.

[86:10]Right.

[86:11]And I think if you look at this album,

[86:12]Hendrix doesn't have a lot of,

[86:14]you don't have,

[86:15]there's no crap on this there.

[86:16]What song would you say this needs to be deleted?

[86:18]Or to me,

[86:20]this has to be in the top 10.

[86:21]I think it's rolling boned.

[86:22]That means it should be higher on the list.

[86:24]Yes,

[86:25]exactly.

[86:25]So rolling boned.

[86:27]I think this should be higher on the list.

[86:28]I really enjoyed it.

[86:29]Every song is a jam.

[86:30]There's no filler.

[86:31]Yep.

[86:31]So if we're making a meme for this episode,

[86:33]Russ is face down on the ground.

[86:34]The album is above him somehow,

[86:36]still getting rolling boned.

[86:37]Matt,

[86:38]what did you think of this album?

[86:39]Can you pull up the rating again?

[86:43]We don't know what the rating is being around.

[86:45]You covered it up.

[86:46]So now you screwed me all up.

[86:47]All right.

[86:47]I think this is rolling groaned.

[86:51]And again,

[86:53]we get into this where we know what's coming up ahead of us.

[86:56]Are you talking about everything that the next three albums that we have?

[87:01]And I don't know if maybe this is against the rules,

[87:03]but miles Davis kind of blue Beyonce's lemonade,

[87:06]Amy,

[87:06]wine house back to black Stevie wonder intervisions,

[87:10]you know,

[87:10]it goes,

[87:11]we have,

[87:12]we are in a murderer's row coming up here.

[87:14]Yeah.

[87:16]And so I think because I know that I think this boat,

[87:19]I think this should be just a little bit lower down the list.

[87:22]All right.

[87:22]Sounds,

[87:23]sounds like the worst opinion of all time that you're an idiot.

[87:26]Aaron,

[87:26]what do you think of this album?

[87:27]Is it rolling?

[87:28]Well toned.

[87:29]Okay.

[87:29]That would be like if your trombone was perfectly tuned and you went,

[87:32]well,

[87:32]this has great tone.

[87:33]This is rolling bone.

[87:35]This is like when that guy beat,

[87:36]you out for a trombone chair.

[87:37]It doesn't bother you.

[87:38]So you don't care about that.

[87:39]Or is this a rolling groan?

[87:41]Okay.

[87:42]And this is when you would have to practice trombone at home.

[87:44]And you'd be like,

[87:45]mom,

[87:45]listen to this pop,

[87:46]pop,

[87:47]pop,

[87:47]pop,

[87:47]pop.

[87:47]And she'd be like,

[87:48]Oh,

[87:48]it's so good,

[87:49]Aaron.

[87:49]Wow.

[87:49]You're so good at trombone.

[87:50]I'm so glad you picked the biggest,

[87:51]loudest instrument.

[87:52]Oh,

[87:52]what's that?

[87:53]It's also huge and hard to carry around.

[87:55]And it's super expensive to buy.

[87:56]Great.

[87:56]Love it.

[87:57]Meanwhile,

[87:58]your friend Rob is over there playing the crash cymbals.

[88:00]He's having a great time.

[88:01]You know,

[88:01]I'm going to interrupt.

[88:02]I'm going to interrupt.

[88:03]And I know I always delete my interruptions at the end.

[88:05]Anyways,

[88:05]but do you guys remember when you played band in high school?

[88:09]Like people,

[88:10]you would have a,

[88:11]is it called a flu Aaron?

[88:12]There would be like a thing where you would have to spit your spit out of the instrument

[88:15]onto the floor.

[88:16]You remember that?

[88:17]What was that thing called?

[88:18]The flu?

[88:19]No,

[88:20]you're thinking of a chimney.

[88:20]I wasn't in the band.

[88:21]You're thinking of Santa.

[88:22]You're confusing my saliva coming out of a trombone and Santa coming down the flu.

[88:26]Yeah.

[88:26]We just call it a spit.

[88:27]It's a spit.

[88:27]But there was a point where like the spit valve,

[88:30]like,

[88:31]Aaron and his trombone,

[88:32]they're like spit valving on the floor in the band,

[88:35]right?

[88:35]You'd always get some on the person ahead of you and you and the trombone look at each

[88:39]other and just be like,

[88:40]don't say anything.

[88:41]I just spit out like five years worth of spit on this person ahead of me,

[88:45]you know?

[88:46]And of course it's like the psychotic clarinet player that's sitting ahead of you for some

[88:49]reason.

[88:49]You can't do it.

[88:50]Sorry,

[88:52]we'll delete that.

[88:52]Please give your breaking.

[88:54]10 hour episode.

[88:55]Let's go.

[88:56]Let's start over.

[88:56]I struggle with this ranking stuff every week,

[88:59]but this one,

[88:59]this one's really hard for me.

[89:01]Because Jimmy was not from this planet.

[89:04]He is out there on the astral plane.

[89:06]Like he always would say he's not gone.

[89:09]Just like Prince is not gone.

[89:11]Just like my grandfather's not gone.

[89:12]Like these people didn't exist on the same plane that we did.

[89:16]So any attempt to rank this particular album is,

[89:20]is just tough for me.

[89:22]He is,

[89:23]he was not of this world.

[89:26]This world didn't treat him right.

[89:27]He was not here long enough.

[89:29]And there are,

[89:31]many reasons why,

[89:32]why that is.

[89:34]So I,

[89:35]I think I'll have to say rolling boned because he,

[89:38]to me is he's the,

[89:40]the one example so far on this list of a person who is very little argument,

[89:45]unequivocally the best at his craft of all time.

[89:48]I don't think it,

[89:50]I think there are very few arguments to make against Jimmy as the greatest

[89:54]guitarist of all time.

[89:55]I think he's the greatest there was.

[89:57]And so I,

[89:59]so I'm going to give the,

[90:00]I'm going to give,

[90:00]I'm going to give the,

[90:01]I'm going to give the album a rolling boned because,

[90:02]but,

[90:03]but reluctantly,

[90:04]because I think Jimmy is,

[90:05]is beyond rankings.

[90:07]All right.

[90:11]This,

[90:11]in fact,

[90:12]it's a rolling third stone from the sun,

[90:14]because I'll tell you what,

[90:15]when I was younger and I realized that he was singing about earth,

[90:17]I was like,

[90:19]is this what it's like to be on drugs?

[90:21]Like when you make these connections like this,

[90:23]John Lithgow and Joseph Gordon-Levitt,

[90:25]that was such a great show.

[90:26]I was studying at school.

[90:30]Thank you.

[90:31]Okay.

[90:32]I was practicing my trombone.

[90:35]I didn't want to get beat out by somebody at the chair.

[90:36]So here's the thing is that the next album up,

[90:39]we've got miles Davis kind of blue.

[90:42]Wow.

[90:43]This is a complete change from what we've done before.

[90:45]Isn't it?

[90:45]Yeah.

[90:45]We're going to be talking.

[90:46]We're going to be talking about jazz.

[90:47]We're not even listening to real songs for the whole album.

[90:51]Not real songs.

[90:52]My,

[90:53]I'm going to bring up.

[90:54]I was just going to do a new segment called breaking down the lyrics.

[90:56]And I realized I picked the wrong week to do that.

[90:58]But so we got miles Davis coming up or as the,

[91:00]as they call them in Europe,

[91:02]a kilometer.

[91:03]Oh,

[91:05]when you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time,

[91:09]but you're just too lazy to look it up.

[91:13]That was what you were breaking up before the pregame show.

[91:16]I don't want to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track.

[91:21]I've got the perfect podcast for you,

[91:24]Jack.

[91:25]Beck did it better.

[91:27]But now,

[91:30]I'm going to do it again.

[91:31]I'm going to do it again.

[92:00]Thank you.