Metallica: Master of Puppets (1986)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to make this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better we are all the way up to 97 hot 97 the absolute weight room classic master of puppets by metallica now there's a typo on my little thing it says master of peppers very distracting when i was reading that because i was thinking of all these great jokes bastard peppers did you know aaron though that master of puppets it was actually recorded in denmark yes and it makes me think what about what about den luke den john and den matthew the new testament it's the new den testament sounds like a contest for dentist okay by the way metallica is also on the mount rushmore of bay area bands aaron they are

[01:01]you from the bay area yes they are they move there because they move there because they hated the hair metal scene in la uh so they are bay people just like you which is so strange that you're wearing a celtics jersey i don't get it i don't get why you're wearing a celtics shirt listen let's go on to k-rob let's talk about this here we go what's up everybody welcome to k-rob hey this is heavy metal rob and we're coming late night all night long and when i say all night long what i mean is all night emphasis on the long because i've got a lot of feedback ask for the feedback and they're saying rob the podcast is so long what can you guys do to speed it up can you chop out all the bats talking guess what already did that can you maybe tell more fun stories rob yes i can i'll work on that can you interrupt

[02:01]Aaron more often than think of jokes to tell. Yeah, I can do that too, but none of those are going to make it shorter. Why are you giving me this advice? Maybe don't talk about the music at all. That would be something you can think about. Well, that's a good idea. Anyway, the point is, people are saying this podcast is too long, and I've got to be honest with you, I blame Russ. When they push play, then they always say, this podcast could use some deductions. Oh no, I'm getting cut. The time is long. The jokes are not that strong. Ten minutes for the fucking introductions. Too many words from Ali. It's longer than the CD. It needs to There's too much

[03:02]There's too much And just continue to say what to do as the opposite thing. That's true. Always good time to start a spite. Let's go for three fucking hours tonight. Faster! Faster! I promise that we will never be Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! That was a long intro, Rob. I gotta say, if I have two minutes and 40 seconds of my life left to live, I'd probably listen to that song again, because that went on a long time. What's that about?

[04:00]Five to ten minutes to talk about whether these intro songs are too long. I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Beck did it better. Me, preparing for this podcast takes so much time. Also me, writing a five minute song because somebody once said the podcast is too long and it's stuck in my craw forever. Listen, we are talking about the Rolling Stone Top 500 albums, as you heard in the intro. I don't need to go into it, but I've got three guys here who they want to talk about music, but more importantly, they want friendship desperately. It's Friday night. We're here with each other. I've got Russell, Minnesota. Russell, how are you doing? Rob, listen to me and you'll see more of me of this podcast is all you need. Dedicated to how I edit you. This pod will be faster! Faster! Faster! I've got Matt, Minnesota. Matt, how are you doing? Great. A little scared, a little scared there, but I'm doing well. Thanks. And I've got Aaron, my puppet. Aaron, who didn't get why Top Gun Maverick was fighting,

[05:01]in makeup. Yeah, they were bombing a rouge state. I mean, what's next? Are they going to bomb the Eyeshadow Republic? It could wreck the foundation of our democracy and mascara what we are trying to do to make these countries lipstick to freedom and abandon the concealers of freedom. Oh, I wrote freedom twice. Need to edit that. But, you know, it's no great gloss. But then I guess it's enough. Faster! It's enough to make you blush. Aaron, how are you doing? I'm excited to be here with our leper messiah, Rob. Country's lipstick to, I think, individual rights. I think that's a better way to write that, so thank you. Alright, listen, Aaron, God, you're wasting our time. We don't have any more time for this. Let's get right into the voicemail. We got a voicemail. How do you leave a voicemail, Rob? You can contact us at 802-277-BEC.

[06:03]And listen, we are actually getting quite a few voicemails. I am proud of me desperately asking for voicemails, and a lot of women are calling. Wish I had known about this maybe earlier in my life. Okay, not saying, listen, again, my marriage is fine. Thank you. Alright, let's get into the voicemail. Let's just ignore what I said earlier. I didn't even think the dumb shit listeners that have the Samsung Free app would know how to leave a voicemail. No, Samsung Free was a week ago, Russell. This is now. We've moved on. Okay, we're like onto iHeartRadio or something like that. Here we go. Hi, first-time voicemailer, long-time listener. I recently was trying to make a playlist for a holiday. It was Easter, and it was hard to come up with good music for a fun Easter brunch. And so I was wondering, from your all's perspective, what holiday deserves better music than it has? Like, you think it could have a better catalog than it currently has right now?

[07:01]Thank you. Listen, Easter, easy, right? You got the hot cross buns. You've got Jesus coming down on the cross or coming out of a cave or something. You got hip-hop, hooray. Hip-hop from the bunny. Hip-hop, hooray. Okay, good. Yeah, good. That's better than mine. Anything by Bad Bunny. I'm gonna give a semi-serious answer to this one, because I do like to, I'm not a practicing religious person, but I do like to listen to gospel music on Sundays. So I just threw out a few names. Andre Crouch, you get some Andre Crouch in there, some Daryl Coley, throwing some Sister Rosetta Tharp, maybe a couple of Mahalia's, more rockin' tunes, and like, it's, even if you're not a Christian, you can enjoy this music. It's good for an Easter brunch. So I'm just gonna do the cholera service, answer her question seriously. Didn't they, Andre Crouch Choir, wasn't they, weren't they on our choir list a few times? I don't know if it was Michael Jackson or Madonna. Who'd they play with back in the 80s?

[08:00]I think both, right? Very famous songs, right, Aaron? Yeah, were they on, like, a prayer, maybe? I think so. I think you're right, Russell. You got it. And it's weird, because his son was the quarterback for the Browns. Tim. Crouch. Tim Crouch. That's a good joke. On to a great start. Aaron, how could you bring up that boring stuff? He was the quarterback for the... Wait, I was trying to respond to Mark. Would you guys ever date someone who called a couch a sofa, or would that be a deal-breaker for you? Because it may have been a deal-breaker for me once. Was she, like, 68? I was just saying. Wait, what are your thoughts on somebody who calls a couch a sofa? Well, I have one of our listeners who I'm, as they say, related to by marriage. Listen, marriage is not for everybody. So, I mean, it's going great for me. It's working out for me. Yeah, now, Aaron doesn't own a sofa, okay? What they have, of course, we know this, that he has beanbag chairs. He has different-sized beanbag chairs around his house. That's all they have in the house. Baller-ass sofa. You can take a good nap on there. You can fit your entire body on there as long as you're under six feet tall.

[09:01]The love seat, my dude. I would have rather got rid of the microwave and been allowed to sit couch for the rest of my life. You shouldn't have had to get rid of all these things, Aaron. Come on. Isn't it like a compromise part of marriage? I just love the idea that some woman's like, Russell, I'm wearing something more comfortable. Maybe you and I should go over to each other over on the sofa. Russell's like, no, see ya. Goodbye. See ya. Each other on the what? I don't think so. Yeah. Okay, question though. Hey, Russell, stick your face under the sofa cushion. Is that what you just said to me? The couch cushion. And do you want Matt has a serious question about our caller here. You want my face to be your sofa? When I do get stuck on the couch, it does feel so fucking good. So fucking good. Okay, so this caller though,

[10:00]I couldn't recognize who the caller was, but they asked what other holiday? Yeah, she wanted to know another holiday that needs Oh yeah, I forgot about the caller. I was thinking about Russ and the sofa. Because I was going to say I was going to say 4th of July. I mean, I just don't think we have enough like country redneck songs about proud to be an American and all that stuff. So I think 4th of July, you know, we just don't have enough of those down south. Someone's got to get some funding to Toby Keith and get him back up and recording. You know, yeah, I think we need a few more 4th of July songs. I don't think, I mean Labor Day is a tough one, right? Because you're like, I mean how many pro labor songs are there? I can't really, I mean, there's 16. There's a Tennessee Ernie Williams 16 tons of what do you get? Maybe that's one. Take this job and shove it. Oh, Johnny Paycheck, yeah. There's not a song about how Aaron had to lay people off on Halloween, is there? We're still waiting for that. We did find when we were, you know, with the kids

[11:00]there's a ton of Christmas songs. There's a few Hanukkah songs and things like that. There's like, there is no Thanksgiving songs that kids sing except for the Albuquerque Turkey song, but we're going to need to hear that one. I'm not familiar. I don't know if I can hear it. Okay, so now I'm playing the Albuquerque Turkey song underneath. So both Russ and I have heard it now because we're the only ones who listen to the podcast, but I'm going to stop you right there, Matt, because my plan was, thank you. I found some change under the sofa and I also found, oh no. Now here's the deal. Can't think about Russell walking out on some woman after she says sofa. It's so funny to me. Think about Thanksgiving. You sit down. Okay, you're having a nice spiral cut ham. You are enjoying your time after your... Get the fuck out of here. This is even worse. People who eat ham on Thanksgiving eat turkey. What are you talking about, Rob? Oh yeah. He likes the greasy bits. I can just see Aaron eating his leftover ham on the sofa on Thanksgiving.

[12:00]Except for everybody left behind. I'll just dip my roll in there. Aaron's like, I love raisins in the stuffing. Get the fuck out of here. Shut up. Now here's the deal. Is Thanksgiving should become a bluegrass holiday. Think about this. You are sitting down with your family and this is playing on the stereo in the back. What? Ooh, this is nice. Oh! You're just shoveling it in right now. You're just eating everything you can. You're eating that food. You look over at the uncle. You don't even care what he's saying about JFK Jr. or anything like that. You are focused on the food. You are dialed in because of this bluegrass music. Guys, this is a Thanksgiving mood. It sounds nice. I like it. I like it. Who is this? This is delightful. Oh, the Osborne Brothers, of course. So good. I'm telling you right now, if any of you out there are interested in getting into bluegrass, there's only one thing you need to listen to, and that is the Nitty Gritty Band's collection of CDs May the Circle Be Unbroken, where they play

[13:00]with famous bluegrass players, play their song. It's an unbelievable collection. It will get you. It's a great jumping off point for bluegrass. Do it and have a happy Thanksgiving. Can I make a secondary plug for Dolly Parton's The Grass is Blue? Well, I just did. I don't like when you say secondary plug. That makes me think about Russell's time on that couch when he's getting the secondary plug. I don't know. Sorry, man. The joke was too good. I had to play the sound effect. Can't talk to you. Aaron, rolling going. How's it going with you? It's going great. I thought our listeners, we have some new listeners, so they're going to have to go back and hear more about the car saga, but I wanted to give a brief car. Well, I got to update on a couple of things, but the car now is fine, and I've discovered it's, you know, it's kind of a fancy car. I've discovered the automatic

[14:00]climate control. I'm not like a keep calm and automate all the things kind of guy, but I just turn that thing on auto and I just move the temperature gauge up and down. It's really marvelous. Aaron, no offense. First of all, is your car a time machine, and did you go back to 1995 when every car had that? You guys hear the effort in Rob's voice as he's trying not to call me a dumb. He's trying so hard. It's like, honestly, I was going to say, is the air conditioning automatic for the people? And I realized this is the wrong album. I should have done that last week. So what you are excited about is the automatic air conditioning in your car that gets it to the right temperature. I'm really excited about it. My grandmother had that in her car, and she died when I was in college, Aaron. She must have had a nice car. Well, yeah, she did actually. It was a super nice. Second update, I had to repot my carnivorous plant. It's having a bit of a hard time. I'm hoping it's going to come through, but

[15:00]it had a flower stalk on it, and I emailed the guy from Fong's Ferocious Foliage, and he told me that the flower stalk is okay, but it does take a lot of energy from the plant when it grows. So I finally, I had to, against my son's wishes, he really liked the flower stalk. I had to cut that part off. Oh, no. And we had to repot it. Rob, do you think Aaron's plant salesman had to, purchase more email storage to deal with all the emails he gets about whether they can cut flowers off the plants or not? Or did just normal Gmail, does that work for them, or do you have to buy more storage? He's like, oh, it's you again. This guy's like, listen, I had the perfect fucking idea for a money laundering scheme. I opened up a carnivorous plant store. I thought for sure nobody would ever come in and interact with me, and I could launder all this money I have from selling that sweet, sweet cocaine. And now my days are full of dealing with this guy dealing with this carnivorous plant. Just one guy with one plant. I'm his worst nightmare. My last thing I gotta mention is I had a Rob

[16:02]type experience the other day. I went to the Spice Shop. You know what? Think about baseball. That helps. Anecdote of the evening is I was out at the Spice Shop. I was wearing my Bechted It Better t-shirt. The guy at the Spice Shop said to me, hey, I like your t-shirt. And I said, it's a podcast. And immediately I got the... Oh, no. I even tried to play it off and not tell him it was my podcast. I was like, oh, it's this great podcast. And immediately shut it off. He's not interested whatsoever. So I don't think the gentleman from the Oaktown Spice Shop is listening. He's like, this guy... And by the way, if you are, go fuck yourself for treating Aaron like that, okay? He's a great guy. He's not a dumb shit, okay? It is humiliating talking to people about the podcast. I refuse to talk about it at all. I had somebody on Facebook who was like, oh, I love Beyonce. If you do a podcast, I'd love to listen to the episode. And I thought to myself... I was like, oh, is that the one where we started talking about fucking at Red Lobster or whatever?

[17:01]We're like, I cannot send this to a person. It's humiliating. And people do not care about podcast recommendations, Aaron. Ever. No, they do not. Maybe that guy was the Sofa King dumb listener who unsubscribed on iHeartRadio on us this week. That might have been the one. Or maybe that guy's like, he's like, I love working at the record store, wherever Aaron was, and I also love my new Samsung. Phone. Oh, well, time to look at what's going on. Time to listen to this drum solo for 10 hours. Jesus Christ. That's the last episode, too. There is something fun about wearing a shirt that has your podcast on it. And it was, you know what's extra fun, Aaron? My kid wore the shirt to school the other day. Oh, that's fun. That's definitely fun. And I thought that was the funniest. That's dangerous. Yeah, that's dangerous. You are just asking for it at this point. What are you doing? It's not my school. But still, the teachers will be like, oh, what is that shirt? And then they're going to listen, and then they're going to teach.

[18:00]Oh, okay. Let me ask you this. There are people who choose to live in chaos and choose to just do things that bring bad things upon themselves, and you are one of those people right now. Some men just want to watch the world burn. I just want you to picture your dad has a podcast. Are you going to tell a soul, especially your teacher, about your dad's podcast? We're going to need to edit all this out anyways. We need to move it forward. Why? My kid wearing the shirt is so funny to me. Just to think of somebody seeing that and being like, oh, I should listen to that podcast. It's just about sitting on a toilet backwards and stuff. God damn, it's funny. We call it the AC Slater, Rob. Oh, that's right. That's the girl who went to the first two weeks of school with the Zoom name Norma Stitz because her dad thought it was funny to put that on Zoom once and she couldn't figure out how to take it off. So all her teachers thought her name was Norma Stitz for the first two weeks. I do go through a panic now whenever because we use Microsoft Teams, it's kind of like a Skype or whatever, one of those things, but occasionally I'll have a Zoom call. Someone will invite me to a Zoom call and the moment I click on it, I always freak out.

[19:02]I'm like, I hope I've never done anything bad on this podcast to change my Zoom name and I'm going to show up as Norma Stitz or something like that. So good. Russell, how's it going with you? Things are going good. Last week I went up, it was Memorial Day weekend a few weekends ago actually, but I was up north. I went up to my brother's resort at Cole's Resort. We talked about this on episode one. For those iHeart listeners, iHeartRadio listeners that started back at episode zero or episode one. But I was up there and my brother and sister-in-law, they actually had some other friends while they were up there. So I enjoyed the lake, I was enjoying the resort and everything, but they had other friends out there and I found myself numerous times where I was having these social interactions or sitting down at a bar or whatever with friends of friends. Did you get your socks back? Did you get the right socks back? I've been told they're in the mail, Matt, but I haven't received them yet. Just checking, just checking. Russell's like, oh, socks in the mail.

[20:01]Oh, wait, they're mine. That's not what I ordered. It was really disappointing. Not what I was expecting, but I'll have to do. 20% off at Cole's Resort. I was going to ask you guys, what's your style when you go to a social event and there are friends of friends there? Do you enjoy sitting down and spending a few hours with people you're not really friends with? Or when you're on vacation, do you just kind of want to do your own? What's your style? I know a lot of people sometimes when people go on honeymoons or something like that, they'll meet these new people. They spend all this time with these new people. So what's your guy's style when it comes to you're on vacation and you're meeting new people? Do you want to meet and spend time with new people or friends of friends? Or do you just want to be left alone? We always love to meet new people. When we go on a cruise or something, we have friends who are circus performers. And they are friends of ours because they were on a cruise doing this. They were the circus performers on the cruise. They saw Jenny do karaoke and she was so bad that later they hunted us down

[21:02]and wanted to hang out with us and did excursions with us. And now we go see them perform in New Jersey all the time. I'm very much in my own lane and we're in our own lane in front of vacation. So we've never made vacation friends. Can you imagine you sit down next to Aaron and you say, hey, what do you do? And you're just like, oh God. He's like, oh, I do this thing with the charts and data. And you're like, oh, that's so boring. Get that exercise equipment guy back over here. Things go up, things go down. We'll come back to the norm. Oh, Lord. I, Rob, everything you said, I would just do the complete opposite. I know. And here's the problem. We just had this this week. My wife, Sarah, she just turned 40. We went to Stillwater, stayed at this place called the Crosby. It was awesome. Downtown Stillwater. I hadn't been there in like five, five years. Awesome place. And this Crosby, great place. They had a hot tub on the roof,

[22:01]you know, and they had like a roof patio and stuff like that. Right. So you go out there. It was it was great. So, of course, there's two other couples that are in the hot tub. It's a big one. So it's not like you're like, I've seen this one before. Cheek or anything. Yep. Did anyone get this movie before? You know, it's something like, oh, man. And of course, Sarah, all I want to do is zoom, zoom, zoom. You know, she's like making friends right away. Right. And like, it always turns out great. And the people, you know, people everywhere are great and it's fine. You find things to talk about. But like, I would know I would never just go up and start talking to somebody and say, like, how are you doing? How's it going? What's going on? Things like that. No, I'm going to be in my own lane. But yeah, mostly with Matt. It's so weird that guys in the hot tub would talk to your wife so much. God, that's just so crazy that they would talk to your wife so much in the hot tub. I just don't understand why they wouldn't want to talk. Very strange. Give me that nut. All right.

[23:00]Yeah, that's I don't know, Russell. What did you do? So we sat with him a few minutes. So, you know, hanging out with my brother and my sister-in-law sat there and then we kind of had a group thing for a little bit. But then part of me was just like, I don't want to be part of the group thing with I didn't come up here to hang out with friends of friends. Like, that's not what I signed up for. When you go out of town and you go on vacation and then it turns out later I was in the little small town and went out to eat and these two people were there. They were at the same restaurant. And so walk in and they say, hey, do you want to join us? And then you've got to go through the awkward thing of like, do you say yes and sit with them? Do you say no middle fingers up? Or what are you doing there, Matt? What's the right thing to do? Oh, you're stuck. That is the worst. That is the worst. In fact, this happened. This just happened. I was up in I was up in my right. I was in a hot tub. My wife got out with somebody for like five, 10 minutes. And then I'm stuck with this other couple in there. This actually happened. So this actually happened. So I was going to meet with one of Sarah's cousins

[24:00]for breakfast up in my now and is up opening up the cabin this week, right? So he's OK. Let's meet at this homestead parlor. Greasy spoon thing up there, right? OK, I'll see you there. So I pull up and he's like five minutes behind me. So I pull up and in is walking his mom and dad and his sister and brother in law, right? And I'm like, I'm going to just turn around and left. So I call him. I'm like, hey, your mom and dad and your sister and brother all just walked in. He goes, OK, meet me down at the other one. Yes, that is all I wanted to say. Like, you know, like, OK, so then we went down to shot keys or whatever the next truck stop was, you know, when we're down. And so whatever you could do to get out of it, let me know. What did you do? Yeah, I need to know what I did was they were kind of sitting by the lake. They were sitting in the sun and they're sitting. And the thing is, I don't know if they want us to sit with them. Or if they're just being kind, I'm assuming they're just. So you're right, but you weren't by yourself.

[25:00]No, I found this person on iHeartRadio. They've been downloading like 100 episodes a day. But so they say, hey, do you want to join us? But you never know if someone's just being polite or they really want to join them. So in my mind, I'm just thinking I would never want them to join us. So I'm going to try to avoid it. So my answer, Matt, was they were kind of sitting in the sun. I said, oh, I've gotten way too much sun over the last few days. I was out in the boat all the day. I need to go sit in the shade. But thank you for asking. Oh, that's smart. That's smart. You got to take care of yourself. That's so good. Well, they didn't do that. Oh, OK, sounds good. We'll come join. They didn't they didn't pull the. They were. I think I think they realized we were both on the same page. Oh, good. I like it. Dodged a bullet, my friend. Take care of yourself. God, that's the one thing when I come back to Minnesota in the summer, you're not quite ready for a world where you can both get a fake invite and have to fake decline. And everybody, that's what they actually want. How do I navigate this? How do I dance around? You know what? I've also been told by someone who's been downloading

[26:01]a lot of our episodes lately is that I'm actually very much of an introvert and I can only handle being around people for so long before I essentially shut down. That's what I've learned about. That's so weird. I've had so many women say they're introverts when they're hanging out with me for a while that they got to go. And let me guess, Russell, you you you asked for this. You asked for that feedback, right? You said, hey, I could really use some feedback about myself, right? Please tell me more about me and about how my personality goes, right? You asked about it. Wow. This is so good. Please sell me some more advice I didn't ask for. Oh, my God. It's still going. Still going. Boom shakalaka? Boom shakalaka. Boom shakalaka. Boom shakalaka. Rolling going. How's it going with someone else?

[27:01]Literally anyone else. I love the idea that Russell is like somebody's like you're an introvert. You don't like being around people. And Russell's like, hmm, I've never ever thought about that before. Get the fuck out of here. Hey, when do you want to do the podcast? Oh, anytime is fine. Literally anytime. Matt, rolling going. How's it going with you? Good. We're getting to the best time of the year. Of the winter sports season, even though it's summer. And I, I have to admit, the hockey playoffs are way better than the NBA playoffs. They're good. They're good. Get the fuck out of here. They're fun. I mean, I'm not watching the hockey playoffs. I probably can't comment, but I want to hear it. I want to hear it. There's so much more action in hockey. It seems like there's so much more fan passion because Rosie, I mean, God bless your team. They're phenomenal, right? Go Celtics. Everybody leaves about five minutes before halftime and they don't come back until about five minutes left in the fourth quarter.

[28:00]And then it finally starts heating up and it just completely screwed them last night. Matt's going in hard. If I told you right now, there's a guy named Igor Lizafiliak in the NHL playoffs. Would you think I'm right or wrong? That's why the person that's what you just said. Nobody knows any of these people. That's why it's not like a bigger sport. I mean, I will say the one problem with the NBA playoffs has been all the blowouts this year and no one's totally sure why that is. People think it's a lot due to the three point shot, maybe, but there have been a lot of crappy games. I mean, last night ended up being a great game, but it was, you know, a wild swing in the fourth quarter. No, you guys know this is so ridiculous. The problem with the NBA playoffs is it's not a rock and jock game. Remember what rock and jock basketball had like a 40 point basket? Like if there was a 40 point basket, that would make the NBA playoffs bad. That would be exciting. That would be exciting. Would be exciting. So that reminds me. That's my favorite. That's my favorite. That's my favorite. By the way, I ordered that pillow, that life-size pillow shaped like Dan Cortez. So this is, I am excited

[29:00]when that shows up. What I didn't get is that this was a basketball game, though, where they had both rock stars and athletes who were kind of like jocks. Yeah. What did they call it? That makes sense. That makes more sense. That's different than what my nickname in high school was, which was rock and jock. Rock and jock? Yeah, because I was, I actually pretended like I had a French accent the whole time. So I'd be like, hey, what do you want to do on this sofa? And they were like, wow, that's rock and jock. Rock and jock. Oh, I want to give you a secondary plug for a 50-point shot. With the sweater on. I mean, the sweater makes so much more sense now. I can't stand the NHL. If the Minnesota Wild moved tomorrow, I would praise the day so I don't have to listen to Wild fans that really don't know anything. They can't name any single player else in the NHL except for one guy, Matt Dumber, or some guy on the Wild. Like, have you heard about Igor Silurian? Hockey fans don't know shit.

[30:00]You start asking hockey fans about hockey, they don't know any of the players. They don't know anything. Like, they can go back to Woodbury or the eastern suburbs of St. Paul. But like, get rid of the Wild. Nobody cares. There's like, there's like one small suburb of people who cares. I'm a, I've been an NBA fanatic for 15, 20 years now and I'm, I, you know, I feel like Moses Moody should have played last night over Iguodala. Like, you know, and that's the eighth guy or ninth guy. So I, for me, it's not an individual sport because I'm, I watch so much of it. But I hear what you're saying, man. Yeah. Rob? Huh? Oh. Hold on a minute. Sorry. Yeah, don't get me started about the Warriors. Wow, they fucked me the other day. It's like, it's like, it's like, it is legit 218 Rob's time and we're talking about fucking Golden State Warriors eighth man. The Golden State Warriors last night put me in between the sofa cushions big time. They gave me a secondary plug. I'll just put it that way. Listen, rolling on with me. How's it going? Okay. First of all, how's it going?

[31:00]I just want to tell you guys, I love the NBA. It's one of my favorite things. I think it's great. I love it. No, here's the deal. I have a nationals coming up for powerlifting. So of course I got my nationals haircut. My stylist came over to the apartment and he was standing there and he said, listen, I was just in Monaco for the Grand Prix doing some hair. Oh, oh wow. I am inspired by the F1 cars and the shapes I saw and I'm going to give you a haircut. Based on that. Now, let me tell you, I have never been so, I've never been so excited to get a haircut in my life. I was like, holy shit, I'm going to look like an F1 car. This is going to be unbelievable. Unbelievable. I cannot believe it. He gets done, right? He turns me toward the mirror. It's the exact same haircut he's giving me four times. But you know what I said? This fucking rocks. I look like an F1 car because he had an artist statement. It is.

[32:00]This is so important for you just to be told like, hey, you're going to look awesome as hell. You just believe it. It's the same haircut I get every time and every time he's like, wow, this is crazy different and I'm like, it's not, you know what the big difference is? Instead of a mullet now, he's like, I took your mullet in the back. I made it a little bit thinner. You guys know, I'm just going to ask you real quick. Do you know what you call a thin mullet? What's that? A mullet? Oh God. It's a rat tail, baby. I have a 42 year old, man. And I have about a four inch rat tail that I can hang. I can swing around. That's a solid one. It is. I could put it in a ponytail holder. I paid so much money. I'm not lying. We've been, we've been looking at you face on, right? So we haven't seen that. You really are business in the front and party in the back. And look at this. That is unbelievable. Do I look like a fucking F1? That's not even a party in the back. That's a full on rat tail in the back. There's, I don't even know what the right, it's party.

[33:00]It's a definite rat tail. Yeah. That's like, business in the front, unemployed in the back or something. I don't know what the right term is. I look like a guy who would be wearing a Metallica shirt. Don't I? Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. Yeah. It's like, oh. But isn't that like, either scammers 101, and I don't think your guy's scamming you, but like, you know, you just start saying things so that people just start believing it. Yeah. Oh, totally. Like, you know, you just, you can say like, oh, they've got weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and people just leave it. And say things like that. And you say, oh, like, oh, let's all go storm the Capitol together. You know? Yeah. And I got to ask you, so like, I still have hair. This election's a fraud. Some of us still get haircuts often, but like, when you go in and you get your hair cut, it could like, they could fuck everything up left to right. But what are you going to say when they say, how does it look? They're going to, they're going to pull up the mirror. What are you supposed to say? You just got to be like, looks great. Give them your money and walk out and then like, hate yourself. You know, what are you supposed to do? I'm convinced that if you're an attractive woman,

[34:00]you could not ever learn how to cut hair and still make millions of dollars because you'd be sitting there rubbing my head, giving, talking to me for like a half hour, listening to all my stories, telling me how great they are. And at the end you would say, oh, you look great. And I'd be like, wow, this is the greatest day of my life. Like I have, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sounds like another establishment. Different profession. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Then they would, you just described the strip club. I'm talking about, yeah. What do you guys think of haircut? This has reminded me that this is a team here. We all got to be in this together. Let's talk about Master of Puppet by Metallica. Yes. And not think about a guy with a rat tail telling you this. This is their, this is Metallica's third album. This comes out and it's, and it's amazing when you listen to early Metallica albums, right? Because the black album is a total, that's the album I'm most familiar with, with Metallica. That is a total switch to them trying to be more radio friendly. When you go,

[35:00]when you go back in time to early Metallica, you are getting thrash. You are getting long songs and each album sounds so distinct that, you know, if the song is from ride the lightning, you know, if it's from master of puppets, it sounds like that album. We've got, we've got a kill them all, right? The first album. It's just total thrash. Like you listen to it. It's just like speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed. Right. Then they come out with ride the lightning. All of a sudden we're getting eight minute songs, 12 minute songs. They have movements. They have all these different parts. It's, it's this, this more intricate kind of more thick thing. So now we have a band that is, let's just put it this way. They are popular enough on their second album where they were touring with a band called tank and another, another band called venom. Have you ever heard of either one of those bands? I have not. Yeah. So now after this album, they are touring with Ozzy Osbourne and anthrax. Like this is the step up for Metallica. This is the big album and it's a combination.

[36:00]It's very strange. Cause when you listen to this album, yeah, there's thrash. There's still, it's still metal. We're we're moving, but there's also like these classical parts, right? You hear it. Like you hear a, a, I think this is, and I was, I was texting this with Aaron today. I think this is the most classical sounding album we've done yet. You could take this album and strip out all the lyrics and it would almost be a better album. It would be like, you could still listen to this album. It would still be a complete album. There's no, there's no other albums we've done guys where the first minute of each song, there's no lyrics. They're getting you into what the theme of the song is going to be. They're getting you what she sounds like. And I think part of that's Cliff Burton, right? Like I know Cliff Burton died early. I think he died shortly after this, but he was the, he was the bass player, but he was a huge classical music fan. I think. And I think there's actually Bach influence on some of these songs. Isn't that right? Yeah. So he's, he's a classically trained guy and he did, he recorded this in March and in September they were on tour and the bus, of course, the famous story where he got the top bunk, unfortunately,

[37:00]bus flips over. He goes out the window, the bus rolls over him. And so this is the album, the last album with, with Cliff Burton songs on it. And it, you can hear his influence in his classical training through these songs. So let's get into master of puppets. The entire album is all about the concept of control. So listen to this. Here's battery. We're going to open, listen to this opening. I mean, imagine you're putting on Metallica. You're expecting speed. You're expecting. That's right. It sounds like Marconi. It sounds like you're like this acoustic guitar, right? Yeah. I mean, it's almost like, Oh yeah, we can do that, but look what else we can do even better than what you think. It's, it kind of reminds you of Aaron. We've seen Metallica live in concert. I've seen him probably four or five, six times, but they always open with that good, the bad and the ugly, this kind of similar type guitar vibe at the beginning. Right. It's a great way to start. Right. Yeah. Listen to this. So you think like,

[38:00]Oh, what is this album? It's so good. It's so different. Guess what? It's not that different. Yes. Yeah. Heavy. Heavy. And it speeds up more and more as these songs tend to do. Fast. I mean, this is crazy. And just when you think like, Oh, wow, they're moving. Metallica is cruising. You go listen to the solo. Listen to this thing. Guitar solo on battery. Is this Kirk Hammett? Yeah. Is he with the band? Yes, I think so. Okay. But I think, I think an interesting thing is Dave, I think Mustaine was one of the original members of Metallica. And it's insane to think about this, but he drank too much for the band. Like, and I think all these guys were out partying all the time, but he was, he hit, went, took it overboard. But I think Mustaine had a big influence on a lot of Metallica's early songs. And then they kicked him out. I think before, I don't know if it was before they recorded kill them all, but they kicked him out really early.

[39:00]But I know there's some of these songs where he claims, Hey, I'm the one who came up with some of this stuff. So he might have some influence on this, more than you think. Well, but Dave Mustaine is also famous for hating Metallica and be willing to talk about Metallica more than anything else in his life. Cause what was, he was Megadeth, right? He went on to, yeah, he did, he did Megadeth later and you know, they never became as big as Metallica, but it'd be like, it would be like if, if Rob kicked me out of the podcast and then I had to go start another podcast. And I didn't quite get as many listeners on the iHeartRadio platform. Unbelievable. Well, you know, it wasn't that much later. He did Megadeth because, by the way, Megadeth band with the greatest album titles, I think. What was it called? It's called Peace Sells, but who's buying? I mean, that's a fucking title. That is a great title. It's so good. Yeah. So now we get to the Aaron. This is a titular track. Yes. Ah, yes. This is the, this is the most performed song ever by Metallica, Master of Puppets.

[40:00]And this is the one, this is unforgettable for me. Russell talked about seeing Metallica live and we saw them on like the load reload tour. Which I didn't know, you know, old school Metallica fans hate that stuff. And so they came out and did Fuel and all that other stuff. It was cool. It was great. And then when they got into the older material, I'll never forget. There was a kid sitting in front of us who was kind of just bobbing his head the whole time. They played Master of Puppets. He whipped his shirt off. He went completely apeshit. They did some stuff where they bring down the lights in the, in the auditorium. Then they bring the lights up and everyone is going completely berserk. I'll never forget what it was like watching them do this stuff. It's a pretty amazing, amazing two songs start. I'll admit it. The first two songs on this are Battery and Master of Puppets. I think are the two best songs on the album. I think there's some that aren't quite as good as those two, but it's hard to beat that for like a rock album as a beginning. I know, I don't know what other metal albums will be on the top 500, if any of them, but that's a pretty fantastic start to an album. Don't you guys think? Yeah.

[41:00]And the thing is, is that it's moving and it's going hard. But when you look at Master of Puppets, I challenged somebody to try to sing along with a karaoke track of Master of Puppets. It is so confusing because every fourth bar is cut short by one beat. If you listen to it, listen to it. It's cut short. It comes like a Zeppelin kind of a thing. It comes sooner than you think. Listen to this, that right there. Yeah. And I'm telling you right now, when you were trying to sing a very humorous and very cool parody song, and you maybe need to do over a hundred takes because you can never quite figure out what it goes down and what you're supposed to do. I mean, it's a, this is a, not a straightforward four, four rock album. Now, these dudes were dorks. Did you guys know that the end of that song was actually influenced by David Bowie's song, Andy Warhol. Remember when we listened to that David Bowie album? Yeah. Oh yeah. Listen to this Russell. Ready? All right. Yeah. And Kirk Hammett, it says I'm a big Bowie fan,

[42:02]a big Bowie fan. So you heard that, right? Let's listen to this. Oh yeah. They're just, they're straight up just interpolating it. Yeah. Oh, totally. It's like, they're just, they're, I think it's so fucking funny to me to think of Metallica and being like this LA music, X gene is bullshit. Everybody looks crazy. They're putting on makeup and big hair. We don't need that shit. Finally. I'm by myself. I can listen to David Bowie. It's like, well, you guys, you want to know why they became a Bay area band. They were actually California, LA band. And then they met Cliff Burton. They saw him play on the base. And they're like, we need this guy in our band. And he's like, I'm not coming to LA. You guys got to come to the Bay area. So it was, they wanted Cliff Burton bad enough. That's why they went down from LA to San Fran. I think it should be pointed out that these songs, I mean, when I think of like thrash metal or, you know, all of these like really hard hitting. So, I mean, I think of like three minute songs, right? Right. These are long ass songs.

[43:00]So master puppets, I've got down like eight minutes, 36 seconds. And so it's not like these things are like, I mean, these are like a, yeah. An exercise in, in a fitness here to play these songs, which is unbelievable. So there's eight songs on the whole album and it's like 54 minutes. I mean, I think of any other thrash metal or whatever you want to say, if, if they had eight songs on an album, it'd be like 30 minutes kind of thing. So, well, and you saying fitness makes me think of Aaron's secondary plug. Now here's the thing. Secondary plug. Yeah. Fitness, fitness plug in there. Here's the thing. What's it, what's his tertiary plug? Oh no. So now you might say to yourself, Oh, Aaron just recently told a story about a HP hanky panky Lovecraft. Oh, he definitely did on the Metallica album, right? Where they have a song, a song about Cthulhu. And the answer would be no. He talked about it during REM. I mean, I guess, yeah, why not? So these guitars are tuned down and it's supposed to give you the impression of a beast slowly moving into the sea,

[44:05]a giant God-like beast from another dimension. I can feel that. This kind of feels like the predecessors of wherever my may roam are sad, but true is some of those heavier songs on the later ones that became really popular. Don't you guys kind of hear similar vibe? Kind of that marching type. Yeah. Like a little bit of a chunky kind of groove. Yeah. Kind of a two, you can kind of dance to this one a little bit. I certainly bang. Here's the solo on the thing that should not be. Listen to this. They say that one reason Metallica plays so fast is that Lars, when he first started drumming was not known as the greatest drummer. He would get so nervous that he would speed up and start playing faster. And so eventually it just made all their songs faster. They're like, Oh, well, he's, he's scared. So we have to speed up. I love that idea that he's just like, Oh, so, Oh, I feel like we have to, at some point people talk about Lars. Aaron has called out other people for being shit drummer. Some people don't think Lars is that great of a drummer,

[45:01]but like, isn't part of drumming, just creating an attitude and an energy. But I heard he's like not much of a technical drummer. Aaron, you got any thoughts on that? Or do you know anything about that? I don't know much about it. I did try to listen. Cause he's, he's kind of an annoying personality outside of music in my mind. And so, you know, I tried, I tried to listen. You're talking about me, Lars Albrecht. You think I'm annoying? Aaron hates when artists get paid for their music. Aaron was a napster. He's like, well, I'm not paying you shit for your music. They were fucking right though. Weren't they? They were like, Hey, this is going to like ruin the music industry. They were, yeah, they were, they were. And now it's like, Oh, I streamed the song a million times today. And Metallica gets 0.001 cent. But yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like he can, he can play fast, but I mean, for me, you, I mean, Russell, you asked during the opening is Zeppelin. Is that, is this the first metal album or was Zeppelin the first metal album? And like, for me, everything, you compare everything to Bonham and he's not Bonham, but he's right for what Metallica was doing. So I think it's all right. I think it's okay. Welcome home.

[46:01]The song. Otherwise everyone knows as sanitarium. A lot of this music is really beautiful. Yeah. And I was so scared of Metallica when I was a kid and scared of their fans. Cause I thought everything was death and murder. And it turns out like there's a lot of really soft kind of feeling in some of this. And a ton of his songs are about basically not being able to do anything about the situation. Right. Master of puppets is about how drugs take you over. Welcome home is about like how you can't do anything. James Hetfield grew up as a Christian scientist and he said like, yeah, that I felt really repressed when I was younger. I don't feel like I was in an environment that made me, I could do whatever I wanted because all I know about Metallica fans is every guy I knew who was, who had a Metallica shirt in high school, could beat the shit out of me. Like they were scary dudes. I had Metallica shirts. Is the Metallica logo.

[47:00]What are the best band logos ever where you have the M and the A at the end kind of add that downward sharp angle type thing. It's a kick-ass name. Metallica. Like what? Metallic? No. Metallica. Right in the name. Jesus. Yes, exactly. It's crazy. Sanitarium is a power ballad. And then listen to the, at the end, listen to a build. It's like a video game. Just like a video game. It's like a video game. It does sound like a video game. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Yeah. It's like, you're fighting the boss. Yeah. It sounds like. Yep. Next up we have disposable heroes. This is so fast. I read 220 beats per minute. Aaron, I 220 beats per minute. Can you keep up with that? That's a lot of beats. I don't know, man. I mean, that wouldn't be a sneaky beat of the week at all. That would just be the fastest beat of the week. That's right up there on me. No, that's, that's not sneaky at all.

[48:01]Well, you know what guys we've been talking about. We've been talking about Metallica as a Bay area band. And obviously I live in the Bay area. So I had to think about very specifically where in the Bay area Metallica came from. And I read that James and Lars, I think had an apartment in El Cerrito, California. So I thought, let's do a list. Let's do a list based on El Cerrito, California. What? Wow. Again. Yeah. What the, fuck every week with this shit here. And you can do this. I got to edit it out. How many times a week do we delete the El Cerrito, California list? So you got, I don't know why. I'll tell you what, Aaron, I, my favorite El Cerrito, I think is Cool Ranch. I'm going to say Cool Ranch right now. I love the Cool Ranch El Cerritos. It's like straight up. They're so good to me. So El Cerrito is a town not too far from me here in the East Bay. It's north of Oakland, north of Berkeley. El Cerrito means the little hill in Spanish. I don't spend a lot of time there. I've ridden my bike through a few times, but it turns out to have,

[49:01]I have a pretty unique music history. El Cerrito. And so, yeah, that's, that is where, that's where James and, and Lars put together a lot of their ideas in El Cerrito. So doing a list, inspired of, inspired by the town of El Cerrito. You're saying it so much. You're saying El Cerrito so often. But, but here's the problem. I could only come up with three El Cerrito songs. My first song is actually from El Cerrito's neighbor, Richmond. And a lot of people, people may or may not know. Master P. Time, time out. Russell, I got to get a judgment from you. Okay. We are zero songs into Aaron's list. He has already broken the one rule of the list. I think as long as you explain why you're breaking the rule. I think it's. Okay. This is my favorite Glockenspiel song. Just let you know, there is no Glockenspiel in this first song. I had to go next. It is a heavy, it is a metal guitar. Here we go. To El Cerrito, to Richmond, where Master P got his start selling tapes out of the trunk of his car. So this is Master P with the RBL podcast.

[50:01]Trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents. Nice. Very early Master P. Whatever happened to Master P? Did he get out of the rap, rap business for a while? Did he become a preacher? What happened to Master P? He's a mogul. Just had some kids that went through a mini ha ha. Yeah. And you know what? He finally got his doctorate. So he's not a master anymore. So that's good for him. Working hard. You know, on that grind. Dr. P. Also my nickname in high school. A lot of people. Let you in on a little secret. Are you sure you're a doctor? Are you sure you're a doctor? Are you sure you're a doctor? Are you sure you're a doctor? Are you sure you're a doctor? You're in the hospital bathroom. I'm Dr. P. Let you in on a little secret. Did you get stung by a jellyfish? I was excited about El Cerrito as a concept, but this was really just an excuse for me to put one of my favorite artists ever on a list as well. This guy's not from El Cerrito either? He's from Rancho Cucamonga. It's right next door. Pharaoh Sanders is from Little Rock, Arkansas, but he did record this album on the Teresa,

[51:02]the records label. Teresa Records is a record label from El Cerrito, California. So this is great. This is Pharaoh Sanders with Rejoice. Play this shit, man. Pharaoh Sanders. I want to hear it. It's doing a row that had nothing to do with El Cerrito. The record label is from El Cerrito, and the song may or may not have been recorded in San Francisco, but the record label is from El Cerrito, Teresa Records. And here you got one of the all-time great tenor saxophone players, Pharaoh Sanders. That's beautiful. Yes. And this is an album that he did in 1981 or two on the Teresa Records label. And it's got Elvin Jones playing some percussion here, and Pharaoh's doing what he does, and I love Pharaoh, so I just wanted to get him on the list so that people know. How many saxophones were on that, Aaron? I couldn't tell. You said ten or what? Ten or twelve saxophones? Ten or twelve? Yeah, it's all too much for me. Tenor saxophone.

[52:00]I always felt bad for the people in high school who played the tenor. I was an alto sax guy to play, because the tenor one was the big one, right? That's the baritone. The baritone was the really big one. They were just cool enough where they didn't have to play the baritone or the French horn, but not cool enough to play any normal instrument. But the tenor sax is... Imagine being in band, you're looking down the row, and you go, God, I wish I was as cool as Russ. Wait, what? Russ is like, please don't talk to me, I'm kind of an introvert. I'm not trying to make friends on this vacation. So I've been told. I've heard. I think the flute players told me I was an introvert after a while. Russell, listen. They didn't get stung by a stingray. You're not Dr. PMD right now. Next up, True El Cerrito Connection. This band was from El Cerrito. I believe went to high school in El Cerrito. This is, you guys know,

[53:00]I love this song. Any excuse to play it. This is Creedence Clearwater Revival playing Lodi. It's about time we heard this. Aaron's brought this song Lodi up numerous times. I can't help it. I love this song so much. So I got to play it. And Lodi is another city in California, farther from El Cerrito. When this song started, I wasn't sure if it was Creedence Clearwater Revival. I mean, I just couldn't. Like, when you hear this, like when you hear this, what band is that? Hmm, I can't tell. It's revisited. It's Creedence Clearwater Revisited. The same. Absolutely unmistakable. And then the final, El Cerrito connection. Once again, this is tenuous. Bay Area comedian Andy Samberg graduated from Berkeley High, but the internet tells me that he spent a little bit of time in day school in El Cerrito. So there is an El Cerrito connection there. He bought sausage pizza once in El Cerrito on the Little Hill.

[54:00]Actually, are you sure it wasn't the other Cerrito, the Big Hill? Are you sure it wasn't the Little Hill there? It might have been the Big Hill. So of course, if we're doing Andy Samberg, it's got to be Dick in a Box. It can be. Nothing but Dick in a Box. Dick in a Box. It's about time this podcast got some Dick in a Box. It's Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Yes. I have a feeling Rob isn't entertained by this. I feel like this is too funny where it might be funnier than Rob, so he's not going to give it credit. Dick in the Box is the height of humor to me, actually. I think it's so, so funny. That's it. Quick list. I love it. Four songs inspired by El Cerrito. Some of them with an actual connection to El Cerrito. Some of the others, rather, it's tenuous. Aaron, you're the gift that keeps us going. I really don't know what to say. We're so tired. It's so late. We're so bored with the podcast. And yet, you have a list where almost nothing has to do with the title of your list. It's almost like somebody gave you those four songs and said, try to group these together somehow. It was really all just to get... I loved it. It was all just to get Pharaoh Sanders on there.

[55:00]That was really the big thing. And Lodi. You can just play anybody you want, Aaron. You actually don't need to come up with a list. You can just say, hey, can we play this music? I'll do it. We don't care. I guess that's true. The only people listening are people who can't figure out how to pause Samsung Podcasts. I don't know how to unsubscribe. All right. Leper Messiah from a David Bowie song. Where the title comes from. Oh, interesting. Ziggy Stardust. I think this is another one Mustang claimed the guitar riff came from him. But the other guys, Metallica, say no. Any other guitar riff that they've come up with? Like... Yeah, I mean, this seems like they would have stumbled upon this eventually. Even Vanilla Ice is like, come on. It's... I mean, come on. They're all the same. He's like... Listen to this. I gotta say, Lars on the double drum, the double bass.

[56:02]That is fast, isn't it? Yes. Whoa. This fucking rocks. And so the double bass... I got a question. Is it two mallets hitting the same bass drum? It's two mallets hitting the same bass drum. Now... Orion is... I was listening to a podcast called The Great Albums, right? This is a song. It's an instrumental. It's composed by Cliff Burton. This song is a sonata. Yeah. Well, it's not a daughter nada. It's the sonata. No, I'm sorry. It's not the moon nada. It's the sonata. Nailed it. Aaron, explain to us what a sonata is. Yeah, it's a classical form. And it's the simplest. It's ABA. So you've got an A section, a B section, then return to the A section. But I think people like Mozart and Beethoven expanded on that a bit. So you have exposition of the theme. You have some development of the theme. And then eventually you recapitulate the theme.

[57:01]And then maybe you have a coda that's tacked on at the end. And this is what we've been talking about with Metallica is they were inspired by classical form. Aaron, you want to see my A, B section? Check these out. Yeah. Lifting up my shirt so you can see my A, B section. I mean, I'm getting so big you'd think I'd have a C section. Aaron, do you want to see my Dr. P section? Listen, you can't go around thinking everyone got stung by a jellyfish. Okay? That's not an excuse to pee on people at the beach. Weird way to go through life, son. Yeah. You cannot just, you can't say that. That's not a defense if you're just peeing on random people at the beach. It's not random. I went to El Cerrito High School with all these people. That's why we're here. We're at the reunion for El Cerrito High School. Except for Andy Sandberg. He just happened to get gas there a while ago. Yeah. Yeah. This guy over here didn't go to El Cerrito High School. He actually went to a different high school, but he was here today. And that guy over there taught, but he, he wasn't here at El Cerrito though.

[58:03]His name is actually El Cerrito. We actually went to college where people called it the hill. And so I thought we would have got the limestones. Right. Because they also are from a place called the hill. I didn't think of that. Geez, I really dropped the ball. Missed opportunity. It's like rock and roll. Rob doesn't want to get to the end of the episode. It's like he's, he's doing what he said in the opening song. Here's my impression of the limestones in college. A wee-mo-wip. That was by the way, the, uh, uh, what do you call it, Aaron? The band, no music. Acapella? I like cream of weed. Acapella band that was at our college was the limestones. And here's my impression of the limestones. A wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip. And here's my impression of every woman I know who went to a limestones concert. I want to fuck those guys so bad. I was blown away with how many women wanted to have sex with the acapella group. I was like, I can stand in the corner and be like, a wee-mo-wip.

[59:01]It's like, nobody wants to come bang me. Why do they love the acapella group so much? They're doing some public speaking. A wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip. Rob truly doesn't want this night to end. It's amazing. This, you guys, this is. Russ, Russ has been trying to get to Orion for like 13 minutes now. A wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip, a wee-mo-wip. Okay, Aaron, tell me what a sonata is. I forgot. Tell me about ABs. Wait, I already told you. Our listeners don't want to hear it again. I think part of it is they're skipping back and forth here. So you start with like this Cliff Burton solo is at the opening, right? So here's the main theme of the sonata, Russell. This is the A theme. Are you ready for this? Okay. Yeah. You got it? That's the A theme right there. That riff that you're hearing right there. Okay. Then a minute 43 in, you hear another theme.

[60:00]Check this out. Well, there's a bird. So this is the other riff in the song, right? This is the B section. Now check this out. Let's go to the back. Now listen. And at 243, they go back to the main theme. Listen. I love that little change. So it's the same A theme coming back. James Hadfield, by the way, great rhythm guitar. Just unbelievable. So then we have all the themes kind of at once. They're kind of developing it. Here, check this out. It almost feels like we're addressing a Miles Davis or a jazz. album right now. Going through the different parts. I can tell you, according to Samsung podcast, people love it. When I went in depth into the music in those episodes, they love it. They did. Yeah. Trending. Oh, yeah, that's right. It was trending. Now you hear the drums at the very end. This is the last part.

[61:00]The drums do that original theme again. Listen to this. You nailed it, Rob. Rob, you're a musicologist. So it is, I mean, Russell right now, you're listening to a sonata. Okay. Which doesn't mean. Which makes Aaron think about his Hyundai Sonata that he did back into his retaining walls for those of you that haven't been listening for a while. So he doesn't like. You guys had mentioned like the classical music aspect of this. And it's actually, they've, they've, they, I think they do instrumentals on almost every album and they've done them on the first couple. And then they did an instrumental on one of their later albums. One that wasn't as well received death magnetic. There was a song called, you don't have to hear it. I didn't give it to Rob, but it's called my apocalypse. And actually it won best metal performance. Uh, best rock album, best hard rock performance, uh, for a song unforgiven three, which is not one of the most popular songs, but once some awards at the time.

[62:01]And it turns out that the string arranger on that album was David Campbell. And if you guys remember David Campbell is Beck's dad. So when it comes to arranging strings for Metallica, who did it better? Beck's dad did it. Yes. You guys are not. You're not going to believe what town Beck's dad is from. It was a town. There was a hill over that way. Yep. Yep. He was from, uh, he was from El Cucamonga, which is right next to El Cerrito, but it's not, it has the same number of letters of the name. So that goes on Aaron's list as well. So Damage Inc. They end with, they have this very slow build in the beginning, kind of like a theory almost kind of almost electronic. And then basically they're ending the album by saying, Oh, do you still think we can play some thrash? Well, this is a, maybe check this shit out. Inspired by a Bach song called Come Sweet Death.

[63:02]I believe we talked Bach to Beethoven a few weeks ago. The beginning was inspired by Bach. Nice. And then it's like, now we're back to the beginning of the album, right? Yes. Yeah, it really is. It's a classical album, which is so funny thinking about the guys I knew in high school who had Metallica shirts. Yeah. I don't do like musically. It's very nerdy. But it's loud and fast. It's super nerdy. And so many of these metal guys are like when you talk to them, you know, like the head, the lead singer from Anthrax, when he talks, he sounds like a college professor. And meanwhile, my friend in high school wearing a Metallica shirt is a janitor at college, except for one crazy day. Let me tell you about it. He goes into a classroom, right? Sees the math equation on the board. Simple. Solves it. Okay. Professor comes out and goes, Oh my God, you solved an impossible equation.

[64:03]I can't believe it. And he goes, watch what else I can do. And he goes on the board and he draws three perfect anuses. Photorealistic. Takes hours. And the guy goes, what? You're a brilliant mathematician and you drew photorealistic anuses? What's going on? And he goes, oh, you like assholes? How about them assholes? Oh, I'm sorry, Rob. That's funny. I didn't think that's where it was going. And he was a Metallica fan. I didn't know. You take a subway train there like 45 minutes each way every day just to get to that one college. You know what? When I was in college. I made my dad choose the disco ball. When I was in college, I had to take the subway up the hill, up the hill at La Cucamonga both ways, up the hill, up the little hill, and down the little hill. El Cerrito. You know what that subway driver's name was?

[65:01]What was it? Pharaoh Sanders Jr. His name, his nickname, Hanky Panky Jr. A lot of people don't realize that. I can't believe that Pharaoh Sanders didn't. I can't believe that. I can't believe that. I can't believe that. I can't believe that. I can't believe that. He didn't write Walk Like an Egyptian. Is that mind-blowing to you? That's crazy to me. He was probably like, oh, fuck. Missed out. And then when he heard Steve Martin do King Tut, he's like, oh, that's it, man. There cannot be that many Egyptian-themed hit songs that are going to come. Windows closing. Get out. Get out. Really. I mean, how many Egyptian songs can possibly come out in like a four-year span? And the answer is two big ones. Pharaoh Sanders is still alive. Like, imagine if there was two hits. Great album just last year. two hit songs about somebody being from like chile and it's like yep i'm a chilean and here's a song about it and two of them make the billboard that would be insane is this stoned fruit season is that what i heard all right we could keep this going still we can make this podcast go a little

[66:02]less faster faster we could easily make it till 4 a.m. rating system oh yeah oh no jellyfish stung my arm what am i gonna do all right so we are talking about the number 97th right yeah 97th album on the list it's master of puppets which is by metallica okay there's actually sonata on it so if you want to hear about that rewind about an hour ago and you can listen to that uh this is does this belong at 97 i mean honestly an album i've heard one bazillion times and have owned zero times and have actually chosen to listen to zero times but it's just been in my life so much in every weight room i've ever listened to these songs does that mean it's rolling well toned much like i was at the weight room and this is like somebody in the weight room

[67:00]who's got it going on okay you can see their a section you can see their b section okay you can see their a section you can see their b section okay you can see their b section okay they are rolling well toned or is this like um is this like somebody who's you know they're pretty skinny at the gym they've been working out they're doing a lot of cardio it's a rolling bone okay this album should have been way higher it shouldn't be got so far back this album got boned it should not be back here or is this a rolling groan kind of like me when i'm doing squats when i'm doing bicep curls okay when i'm in the bathroom at the gym it's a rolling groan okay it's it should not be this high it should be way lower kind of like kind of like yeah kind of like you right now should not be this high should be a little lower and i'm staying up and talking to you guys after this too so don't don't you're not escaping my little view i'm gonna see you speaking of c sections russell what do you think rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling groan because i see you c section i see the section that you're in am i up yes the rating section where we rate the albums yep all right i

[68:08]like it they're one of my favorite bands ever actually uh the music list started because i love making lists i love do it going through this type of thing one of the first music lists i ever did was taking every metallica song ever putting it in a spreadsheet and ranking every song on a scale of one to ten and then seeing where the album came out so i gave a master of puppets at 8.5 average overall and i did this years ago and it actually was my third favorite metallica album at the time so i was coming into this thinking well maybe right now i'm going to do this album or the black album should be higher but i went back and listened to those and you listen to the black album now and there's some big hits but it's just slower it's more poppy it isn't i don't think it's quite as interesting musically as this one so for me i'm gonna say this is rolling bone it should be higher on the list i will come back and listen to this one over and over but admittedly that's just part of me being a metallica fan but i thought it was interesting it sets a mood it sets

[69:03]an energy that is hard to match from a lot of bands so i love it uh we've got a caller here we from el cerrito aaron what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling he's not from el cerrito he's from the other side of el cerrito their main host i'm the bouncer outside the club let me check yep you're on the list everything that's i think this album uh i never listened to the full album i'll also i i've uh known metallica for my whole life but never listened to this whole album but as as the first sort of modern metal entry setting blood zeppelin aside i gotta say it's right in the right place it belongs in the top 100 i'm gonna call it rolling well-toned matt what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown metallica master of puppets admittedly this kind of genre of

[70:02]heavy metal thrash metal whatever you want to call is not my favorite uh unlike kind of like you robin everywhere you go you hear some sort of metallic influence if you know you're either playing football w shaky weights sometime it's it's in the fabric of uh maybe not society but like you know the places that i hang out or did in high school things like that so um i kind of think this is might be the one of the top if you put like the top four songs starting four songs in this album up against any other album we've heard i mean this got four songs the third one being you know kind of the question mark but sanitarium is the number four song i mean this is this thing starts out heavy and it's not just a It's awesome, and it's great. And so I'm with Rosie. I'm going to say it's rolling well-toned right here at 97. It's in the top 100 for sure, and I'll just say it's rolling well-toned right here. Guys, unfortunately, you're incorrect.

[71:02]What? For real? Let me tell you a long-winding story about why. No. This is a rolling Cliff Bertone. Bertone? Every piece of music you hear from Metallica after this is totally different, and it's obvious how much of a genius Cliff Bertone was. Honestly, one of the biggest what-ifs in music history, right? Like, what if Cliff Bertone was still in Metallica? Would they have made things like the Black Album? Would they have made the album that got me into Metallica, the first Metallica album I ever listened to and loved, Reload? And that is a list that I am on that is just me and two guys from El Cerrito who love the album Reload. It is one of their favorite Metallica albums. Nobody else says that. Listen, next week, we have something that I assume Aaron did as a hobby in Iowa. It's Cartwheels on a Gravel Road by Lucinda Williams. I like it. It's kind of country-adjacent. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time.

[72:01]My cast song is playing again here. Sorry. But you're just too lazy to look it up online. If you want to hear from guys who chat and then they get off track. Jack, I've got the perfect podcast for you. Jack Beck did it better. Guys, I actually heard that if Cliff Burton would have lived, he would have become a Sofa King carnivorous plant salesman from the other side of El Cerrito. Jesus Christ. Were we talking about carnivorous plants this episode? It's so long. You guys make these episodes so long. It's so long.