Re-Release! The Score by the Fugees (1996)

[00:00]I thought the last one was good.

[00:01]It was good.

[00:02]I couldn't believe it.

[00:03]That was the one where I was like,

[00:04]that wasn't very good.

[00:05]And I edited it and I was like,

[00:05]that was pretty good.

[00:06]I like that one.

[00:07]And again, a lot of it was Macho Man

[00:10]having blue balls that I got such a kick out of.

[00:11]I think it's just energy.

[00:13]If the energy's good, the episode's good.

[00:14]It doesn't matter what's talked about.

[00:16]Okay.

[00:17]Lion face.

[00:19]Lemon face.

[00:20]Ooh.

[00:20]In 2020, four friends decided to listen

[00:27]to every one of the greatest 500 albums

[00:29]that's decided by Rolling Stone Magazine.

[00:30]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music,

[00:33]excoriated the order,

[00:34]and led us to making this podcast.

[00:36]We are far from experts.

[00:37]We promise to do almost no research.

[00:39]All opinions are our own unless you disagree.

[00:41]Please sit back and enjoy Beck Did It Better.

[00:45]We are somehow all the way up to album 135.

[00:48]I was scrolling through our episodes the other day.

[00:50]You made it, mama.

[00:50]There's so many episodes of our show.

[00:53]It's ridiculous.

[00:54]It's ridiculous to go back and listen to episode 75.

[00:57]Makes no sense.

[00:59]And we are up to 1996, the score by the Fugees.

[01:03]Now, what I can't believe of this is I did a lot of research.

[01:06]I did hours of research on Fugees.

[01:09]And I cannot believe when he was-

[01:11]I would promise to do almost no research.

[01:13]Well, I lied to look better than the rest of you, of course.

[01:16]That is my way to success in my life.

[01:19]And I can't believe that Fugee, when I researched him,

[01:24]I can't believe when he threw salt when he was demolitions manager.

[01:26]That was the craziest part of this band.

[01:29]To me, it was-

[01:30]That's a deep cut.

[01:31]You like that one?

[01:32]We're really in danger of becoming a wrestling podcast.

[01:36]Every week, we get closer.

[01:37]And if you look at Mr. Fugee, it's fine.

[01:40]We're not going to get canceled for me bringing up Mr. Fugee, okay?

[01:42]At the time, he was fine.

[01:44]We all thought that was a fine character to play.

[01:45]It's just like watching Breakfast at Tiffany's.

[01:47]No problem.

[01:47]No problem.

[01:48]Whoa, whoa.

[01:49]I cannot go along with Aaron on that one.

[01:52]That's a rough one.

[01:52]It was always great, right?

[01:53]When the guy would get thrown out of the ring,

[01:55]Mr. Fugee would hustle over there,

[01:57]and he'd quietly slip that salt.

[01:59]Right into his waistband.

[02:00]Nobody knew what was going on.

[02:02]Those tight, tighty-whities.

[02:04]Nobody could see that it was in there.

[02:06]Such a great manager.

[02:08]Do you think one guy was like-

[02:09]Do you think one guy in the crowd was like,

[02:10]oh, I wish that these fries had more salt.

[02:13]Mr. Fugee hears him and says,

[02:15]hmm, these eyes do need more salt.

[02:18]He starts whipping his salt in their eyes.

[02:20]And if you don't know what we're talking about,

[02:25]good for you.

[02:25]You're a normal person who did normal stuff growing up.

[02:28]It doesn't-

[02:29]You need to know who Mr. Fugee is,

[02:30]so thank you very much.

[02:31]And if you do look him up,

[02:33]I recommend incognito mode.

[02:34]Do not do it at work.

[02:35]Listen, guys, I've got-

[02:38]No, wait, what's the part?

[02:39]Oh, listen, we don't have any time for this.

[02:41]I've got to get right to K-Rob.

[02:42]Let's listen.

[02:43]Honestly, here's a little inside behind the scenes.

[02:46]We were going to record two weeks ago, okay?

[02:49]My fucking dog, man, has to go to the vet.

[02:53]And when you hear a dog has to go to the vet,

[02:55]you're like, wow, I hope Rob's going to be okay.

[02:57]Now, none of these guys did follow up.

[02:59]To see if the dog was okay long-term.

[03:00]So that's a bummer, okay?

[03:02]I feel like we would have heard if he-

[03:04]Wasn't me.

[03:04]I can tell you that.

[03:05]I didn't-

[03:06]Yeah, nobody followed up to see if the dog was okay.

[03:08]But I do want to tell you what happened to the dog

[03:10]is the dog tweaked his back.

[03:11]He tweaked his back.

[03:13]I didn't know dogs could do that.

[03:14]Yeah, I didn't either.

[03:15]Especially if you look at my dog.

[03:16]He's got almost no back.

[03:18]Was he like out shoveling the driveway

[03:20]or what the hell was he doing?

[03:21]Well, listen, I told him to wear a belt

[03:23]when he was deadlifting.

[03:23]I don't know what else to tell him.

[03:24]Like, he's got to be safe with it.

[03:27]This is great.

[03:29]The Jenny came over because I just passed gas

[03:31]and I'm in the stage of overeating right now

[03:35]where every time I pass gas,

[03:37]it smells like some sort of factory is on fire.

[03:39]You know what I mean?

[03:40]Like some sort of industrial fire.

[03:43]Like the people at Cleveland, they're like,

[03:44]nevermind.

[03:45]Oh, no.

[03:46]Listen, yeah, I was going to make it.

[03:48]There's a train derailment joke.

[03:49]You are so not funny when Jenny's around.

[03:51]I thought this was going to be a rock hard erection joke,

[03:53]but we went the other direction.

[03:54]Anyway, let's turn on K-Rob, K-R-O-B,

[03:58]and let's-

[03:59]Listen, and to be honest-

[04:00]Are you saying this is going to be

[04:01]our rock hard erection episode?

[04:02]It's my-

[04:03]Who knows?

[04:03]Any episode could be the rock hard erection episode.

[04:06]You never know.

[04:07]I don't know.

[04:08]You guys still get rock hard-

[04:11]You guys still get rock hard erections, right?

[04:12]I don't know.

[04:13]Like, let's be real, you know?

[04:14]Okay?

[04:15]If you don't, you can tell me.

[04:17]It's okay.

[04:17]I'll edit it out.

[04:19]Do you guys ever get erections that are too hard?

[04:23]Like, you feel like they're dangerously hard?

[04:25]You know what I mean?

[04:26]Like, you feel like you've been hit on something

[04:28]that could-

[04:28]It's like a blister.

[04:29]I once had a pimple on my back,

[04:32]and it was in the middle of my back.

[04:34]And I was like, wow, this is bad,

[04:36]because I could feel it.

[04:37]And so then I rubbed up against the door frame at work,

[04:40]and then I realized it had popped as I did that.

[04:43]And then I was like, oh, that's really bad,

[04:45]because now I have a blood-stained part of my shirt

[04:48]that was exactly where the pimple was.

[04:49]I was like, well, what are you going to do?

[04:51]All right.

[04:53]Live and you learn, Rob.

[04:54]Live and you learn.

[04:54]I did learn a very valuable lesson that day.

[04:58]Listen, let's turn on K-Rob to a song that I-

[05:01]Is that the same day where someone threw shit on your jacket?

[05:04]It has to be that somebody did that.

[05:05]I don't know how the shit showed up on my shirt.

[05:07]And I want to remind you,

[05:09]I was walking with a coworker.

[05:10]It was humiliating.

[05:11]It was like baby-

[05:12]It was like the consistency of baby diaper poop, too.

[05:15]It was like it came out of a soft-serve machine.

[05:17]You know what I mean?

[05:18]It was bad.

[05:18]Whoa.

[05:19]Listen, anytime it feels like soft-serve, but it's warm,

[05:22]not good.

[05:23]Not great.

[05:24]You know how some things you just feel that they're warm,

[05:27]and you're like, I don't like that this is warm.

[05:28]This is like a chair.

[05:30]I sat in a chair the other day.

[05:31]It was so warm.

[05:32]I was like, oh, God.

[05:33]Why is this chair so warm?

[05:35]Why is this my life now?

[05:37]Listen, I-

[05:39]So, anyway, my point was,

[05:40]took the dog to the bed.

[05:41]And, too, that was-

[05:44]I did all their getting ready for this episode then.

[05:47]I have no idea what any of the jokes are I've written down is.

[05:50]I have no idea what my parody song is.

[05:52]Literally no idea.

[05:53]Cannot remember anything.

[05:54]Hey, you guys want to know what I think the worst chair to sit in is?

[05:57]What's that?

[05:58]The chair, like, if you ever go to a Walgreens,

[06:00]and there's people in line for the pharmacy,

[06:02]and there's, like, one chair sitting there,

[06:03]and there's, like, one person just sitting in that chair hacking away.

[06:07]The pharmacy chair is the most disgusting chair.

[06:09]The pharmacy chair is the worst.

[06:10]Right?

[06:11]Just full of germs, right?

[06:12]Just, and probably, like, dead skin and stuff, too.

[06:16]Yeah, you just, you want to stand if you can.

[06:18]I got to say, if you said you can sit on a pharmacy chair for a half hour

[06:21]or on the toilet of an airplane for a half hour,

[06:23]what are you going to pick?

[06:25]That's a toss-up, right?

[06:26]Does the airplane toilet have a toilet?

[06:28]Does the airplane toilet have a bidet?

[06:29]No.

[06:30]Would you want a bidet on an airplane toilet?

[06:32]Blue water?

[06:34]I think Rob should draw us a picture of what he thinks a bidet is.

[06:37]Exactly.

[06:38]I would like to really see an artist's rendering of Rob's imagination.

[06:43]I will, uh.

[06:45]What shows the bidet to be?

[06:46]Some sort of probe.

[06:47]Yeah, well, I've got some.

[06:49]The problem is, people are like, oh, is this a bidet?

[06:53]And I'm like, oh, no, it's a camera, but it's for research purposes.

[06:55]I have it in my house.

[06:56]You know what I mean?

[06:57]Actually, it's a neopositor.

[06:58]But, yeah.

[06:58]Ignore that.

[06:59]Aaron, we're not talking, Aaron.

[07:01]We're not even two episodes.

[07:03]We cannot do neopositors.

[07:04]We cannot talk about neopositors today.

[07:05]Please.

[07:06]Okay, please.

[07:07]As long as they're still on bidets, I have to bring it up.

[07:10]Okay.

[07:10]I have to bring it up.

[07:11]Let's hear it.

[07:11]There has been a lot of talk from some of our listeners about,

[07:14]the next time they're over at my house, they're going to try out the bidet.

[07:17]Well, we had two of them yesterday that are over at our house.

[07:19]Aaron from Minneapolis and Krista from Edina.

[07:22]And?

[07:23]And they didn't come.

[07:24]Well, Aaron came down to at least make sure that I actually had a bidet.

[07:27]And then, oh, no.

[07:28]They got scared.

[07:28]Yeah, they got scared.

[07:30]What?

[07:30]And so, neither of them, they both just, yep, pussied out, didn't do it.

[07:35]Oh.

[07:35]You cowards.

[07:37]You cowards.

[07:39]Sit on Matt's bidet and get filled up.

[07:41]Take it to the limit.

[07:42]That's what I say.

[07:43]Let's get into how this works.

[07:46]I mean, where else would you want a colonic besides Matt's?

[07:49]Like, that sounds like fun to me.

[07:50]So, yeah, I think you're right.

[07:54]I don't get how it works.

[07:55]It makes no sense to me.

[07:58]Do you have to move, Matt?

[07:59]Do you have to move up and down?

[08:00]Hold on, Rob.

[08:00]Rob, take your earphones off.

[08:01]Rob, take your earphones off.

[08:02]Guys, don't tell him.

[08:04]This is great.

[08:05]Just keep it up.

[08:06]Don't tell him, okay?

[08:07]All right, Rob, you're back.

[08:08]Matt, does your bidet room look like a dungeon?

[08:10]Like, is there something you could do to make it look more inviting to potential bidet users?

[08:14]I don't know.

[08:16]Maybe put some flowers out.

[08:17]It looks well lit.

[08:18]It's got some bathroom mats in there, you know?

[08:21]So, it's not like, you know, it's in the basement, so you don't have, like, cold feet or anything like that.

[08:25]I mean, you know.

[08:25]I don't know.

[08:26]It seems like you're doing all the right things, then.

[08:28]I think that it gets suspicious because your toilet has a seatbelt.

[08:31]I think that might show that your bidet is too strong.

[08:33]What do you need to put on a seatbelt?

[08:34]Can I just ask one question about the bidet, and then we're moving on, I swear to God, okay?

[08:39]Your bidet, does it move up and down when it sprays, or do you have to move up and down when it sprays?

[08:46]Whoa!

[08:47]There's a wand like this, Rob, okay?

[08:49]Down?

[08:50]It's facing down?

[08:51]Oh!

[08:52]But it sprays up like this, okay?

[08:55]What?

[08:55]And so.

[08:56]And so, it moves like this, back and forth.

[08:58]Oh, my God, it does move.

[08:59]It does move a little bit.

[09:01]It's got a little bit of a movement, but it does help if you actually kind of.

[09:05]Wiggle.

[09:06]You got to move.

[09:07]Move around a little bit yourself.

[09:08]Yeah.

[09:08]Yeah.

[09:09]Spread those cheeks a little bit.

[09:10]All right, so that makes sense to me.

[09:12]But, yeah, so the wand moves up and down.

[09:15]I would, I'd be moving it down as far as it goes.

[09:18]It's more like back and forth.

[09:19]It's not up and down.

[09:19]It's just, you know, back and forth.

[09:21]My wife would be out of the kitchen being like, what's that noise?

[09:23]Did Rob install a speed bag?

[09:25]Sounds like somebody's hitting a speed bag.

[09:27]What is that noise?

[09:28]All right, listen, guys.

[09:33]Please, please, stop distracting me.

[09:35]We don't have time for this.

[09:36]Yeah, we just simply don't have time for this.

[09:38]We need to get it.

[09:38]Let's turn on K-Rob.

[09:39]K-R-O-B.

[09:40]What's up, everybody?

[09:43]Welcome to K-Rob.

[09:44]K-R-O-B.

[09:46]You know, sometimes the wolf at the top of the hill isn't hungry anymore.

[09:50]But we promise we'll try to do better.

[09:53]Oh, yeah.

[09:54]I remember.

[09:55]I remember when we started this.

[09:58]I was sitting at the cabin.

[10:02]Oh, yes.

[10:04]I spent hours making tons of bits.

[10:09]Now I wonder what happened.

[10:14]Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[10:16]Yeah.

[10:17]We sounded bad, but we were coming up with stuff that was funny.

[10:25]Hey.

[10:26]Hey.

[10:27]And now we're coasting during this podcast.

[10:32]Throwing it in.

[10:33]It's just the same joke every day.

[10:36]What?

[10:36]Yeah.

[10:37]Over and over.

[10:38]This episode we'll try.

[10:41]We're going to try.

[10:43]At least we'll try to try.

[10:47]We're trying to try.

[10:49]We're trying to try.

[10:49]Yoda would not be happy.

[10:50]This will be the best one we've had in years.

[10:55]I haven't done this in years.

[10:56]Because tonight we'll try.

[10:58]Say it.

[11:01]Say it.

[11:01]We will focus.

[11:03]All Rob's jokes will hit.

[11:05]I'll go back to making fun of Aaron.

[11:09]I got to do it.

[11:11]Back to the base.

[11:12]And you promise.

[11:12]And Russell, to this podcast, he'll commit.

[11:16]And he'll dump his girlfriend.

[11:20]Oh, geez.

[11:22]Oh, no.

[11:23]And Matt will try.

[11:25]He'll try to not look bored.

[11:27]When we talk about the score.

[11:31]And Matt promises he has some.

[11:39]Told me he would listen to every album.

[11:43]Yeah.

[11:44]Yeah.

[11:45]Yeah.

[11:46]Tonight's show is going to be all right.

[11:48]That's the best I can promise.

[11:49]That'll be all right.

[11:51]Well, maybe not every night.

[11:53]But we promise.

[11:55]We really will try.

[11:56]When you want to hear about the great times of our time.

[11:58]I hate to try to try.

[11:59]I promise to try to try.

[12:01]Just try to try.

[12:04]Listen to that song after our bit about bidets is kind of a bummer.

[12:07]I'm not going to lie.

[12:08]If you want to hear from us.

[12:09]I really thought when you said day A that we were going to somehow work in bidets.

[12:13]Day.

[12:13]Day.

[12:14]I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack.

[12:16]Beck did it better.

[12:19]Welcome, everybody, to Beck Did It Better.

[12:21]We are talking about the Fugees.

[12:23]Wyclef.

[12:24]Lauryn Hill.

[12:24]The other guy.

[12:25]The other guy.

[12:25]And just like them, I've got three people here that want to talk about it.

[12:29]I've got Russell in Minnesota.

[12:31]Russell, how are you doing?

[12:32]Rob, would it be inappropriate for me to ask you to scrub my pain with your fingers?

[12:37]Oh.

[12:38]Scrub my pain.

[12:41]Scrub.

[12:42]You know somebody has said scrubbing my pain with their fingers.

[12:45]Like, you just know that that's it.

[12:46]Why didn't I do that for a joke?

[12:50]Shoot.

[12:50]Joke's not going to be perfect.

[12:52]Russell in the house.

[12:53]We got Rob in the house.

[12:55]We got Rob in the house.

[12:55]Matt in Minneapolis.

[12:57]Matt, how are you doing?

[12:58]Good.

[12:59]Just like Wyclef, I, too, like no onions in my white rice.

[13:03]So, keep that shit out of the way, right?

[13:05]Oh, my God.

[13:06]I forgot that, too.

[13:07]Timeless piece of the hour.

[13:08]Dietary restrictions.

[13:09]And out in California, I have the human equivalent of the padded toilet seat.

[13:14]It's Aaron.

[13:15]I'm confused.

[13:19]I have no idea.

[13:20]Is that a good thing or not a good thing?

[13:22]I don't even know.

[13:23]It's all how you see it.

[13:24]It's warm.

[13:25]Hey, is that what you find in your grandma's house or what?

[13:28]It's the worst.

[13:29]After all my logic and my theory, I'll add a motherfucker so you podcast listeners can hear me.

[13:34]Let's talk about the Poochies.

[13:35]Oh.

[13:36]How much would you guys have to be paid to put padded toilet seats in your house?

[13:40]It would have to be a lot, right?

[13:41]Like, to sit down on a pad.

[13:43]Have you guys ever sat on a padded toilet seat before?

[13:44]Yeah, it makes that sound like, it's like the whole world can hear that you're sitting down.

[13:48]If it gets hot, it gets a little sticky when you stand up.

[13:51]Why am I the human equivalent of a padded seat?

[13:54]I don't know if I agree.

[13:57]I don't know if I agree with that characterization.

[13:58]You know what, Rosie, I disagree.

[14:00]Thank you, Matt.

[14:01]Yeah, it feels off to me.

[14:02]I don't know.

[14:03]Anyway, listen, let's get right into our voicemail.

[14:07]What a kind listener.

[14:09]What would make the rest of us, Rob?

[14:16]Would that make me like the toilet seat cover, like the furry cover that people put the furry

[14:21]cover over the top?

[14:22]Honestly, I think a furry toilet seat would be the best.

[14:24]A furry toilet cover is a perfect example of you, Russell.

[14:26]I love that idea of a furry toilet cover.

[14:28]Dude, oh, I might have to tell a story.

[14:30]You guys know what story you want to tell.

[14:32]Yeah, Russell knows my story about the furry toilet.

[14:35]Just tell it, Aaron.

[14:35]What is it?

[14:36]We can cut it out if we need to.

[14:37]We had a, oh, Russell knows this story.

[14:40]You might have to help me tell it.

[14:41]I put a set of teeth for Aaron.

[14:42]You might have to help me tell it.

[14:44]Oh, it's your story.

[14:45]Yes.

[14:45]So, Russell has described a couple of the parties that happened at the house where I

[14:50]lived our first year after graduating undergrad.

[14:54]I lived with a friend of ours from Hayward, Wisconsin, and his lady friend, and another

[14:58]friend of theirs.

[14:59]And this friend of theirs was very quiet, unassuming.

[15:02]She was, I don't know if she was in med school at the time or preparing for med school, but

[15:05]never, we would hang out, drink till all hours.

[15:08]She would never drink with us.

[15:10]But one night we were there, downstairs in the basement, drinking Jack Daniels, playing

[15:16]Tony Hawk, and we heard somebody come stumbling indoors from a long night out somewhere.

[15:21]And it was the fourth roommate, who was typically a real person.

[15:24]She was a little buttoned down and not a partier.

[15:27]And she had gone out, tied one on, probably at seven corners, maybe with the fish bowls.

[15:32]And I don't know what happened exactly, but some people, when they drink, end up vomiting.

[15:38]Her situation was that things came out the other direction, and somebody went upstairs

[15:46]and it was like she had tried to get into the toilet bowl, but it ended up on the seat.

[15:52]And then she must have hurried.

[15:54]So she hurriedly tried to close the toilet seat, to dispose of the evidence, and there

[15:58]was like a turd squished in between the toilet seat and the fuzzy toilet seat cover, so that

[16:07]the fuzzy toilet seat cover was like covered in poop.

[16:10]Like, this is not a good situation.

[16:13]And Russell, I don't know, Russell, were you there that it happened?

[16:15]I think you were, right?

[16:16]No, I just heard the story.

[16:17]Yeah, and this was not the type of person that you would have ever expected to have like

[16:21]a weird poop accident.

[16:23]And then it happened.

[16:24]And it was not just a regular toilet seat, there was a fuzzy toilet seat cover involved.

[16:29]A fuzzy toilet seat.

[16:30]So I assume the fuzzy toilet seat cover ended up in the landfill.

[16:33]I'm not certain, but I don't think that's washable at that point.

[16:37]I have a following that was stuff like that.

[16:38]You can just wash it, and it's actually fine.

[16:40]You stop thinking about it after a couple times of wearing it.

[16:43]So, Aaron, once you guys have seen this, at some point, the person who did the deed has

[16:48]to go into that bathroom and see what happened.

[16:49]Do they clean it up, cover it up, and act like nothing happened, or what happened?

[16:54]I never spoke to her about it.

[16:55]I don't know.

[16:55]I mean, it was like, I never, it never came up.

[16:59]I don't know.

[17:00]Yeah, what's her number?

[17:00]Do we call her?

[17:01]We can call her up.

[17:02]Yeah, we should.

[17:02]Yeah, I.

[17:06]Hello?

[17:12]Hello?

[17:12]Oh, we got one.

[17:14]Hello?

[17:14]Oh, God, I'm so drunk.

[17:19]Oh, I drank so much.

[17:21]Oh, hey, it's my old roommate.

[17:23]Oh, hey.

[17:24]Hey, is this Aaron's old roommate?

[17:25]Oh, it's my old roommate.

[17:26]Now you're a doctor.

[17:28]Yeah, what kinds of diseases are you curing out there in the world?

[17:32]Hey, doctor, I just have one question.

[17:34]Have you ever shit onto a fuzzy toilet seat before?

[17:37]Yes.

[17:39]And then close the lid on top of it?

[17:41]You know, that's so bad, because I think we've all been there.

[17:43]All this shit poop.

[17:44]And the one thing you want is, like, support from everybody, but it can't be.

[17:48]I think the one thing you want is for no one to ever acknowledge it.

[17:51]You've got to clean it up.

[17:53]You've got to clean it up the next morning and act like it never happened.

[17:56]It's like the O.J. thing.

[17:57]You've got to convince yourself you didn't kill those people.

[17:59]Right?

[18:00]The O.J. thing.

[18:02]Convince yourself it never happened.

[18:07]If you just keep saying I didn't shit all over that fuzzy toilet seat,

[18:10]you've convinced yourself one day you didn't do it.

[18:13]Yeah.

[18:13]If I clean up the shit, you cannot convict.

[18:16]Oh, no.

[18:22]I'm going to quit drinking.

[18:23]I'm so sorry.

[18:24]It's possible that she's listening.

[18:26]There's a non-zero probability that she could hear this podcast.

[18:30]She's still in enough of our circle of people it could happen.

[18:33]It's not likely, but it could happen.

[18:35]Yeah, that's not a great story to have told about yourself, for sure.

[18:39]Like, when you think about that, Aaron, when you think about that person,

[18:42]do you think about anything else besides that story?

[18:43]Not really, no.

[18:45]No, that's not right.

[18:47]Can't be the poop story person.

[18:51]That's super memorable otherwise.

[18:52]It's just like a very, you know,

[18:53]vanilla person.

[18:54]So, now, wait a minute.

[18:55]Let me ask you this.

[18:55]Let me ask you this.

[18:56]So, how do you guys know this happened?

[18:57]Is this like a shared bathroom that was upstairs

[18:59]and then somebody walked in after?

[19:01]Yes.

[19:01]Or was she still in the bathroom after this,

[19:04]like on the floor or something?

[19:05]No, it was a shared, you know,

[19:07]there were two floors in the house.

[19:09]There were only four of us who lived there.

[19:10]There were two floors in the house.

[19:11]There was a downstairs bathroom and an upstairs bathroom

[19:13]and it happened in the upstairs bathroom.

[19:15]Could have been anyone.

[19:16]Could have been anyone.

[19:17]It's like a game of Clue.

[19:19]It's the drunk girl with the candlestick

[19:21]or it's the guy playing Mike,

[19:23]Mike Tyson's punch out in the basement, right?

[19:25]Russell's always been kind to not tell the story

[19:30]by the time he was there playing Mike Tyson's punch out

[19:32]and I tried to go to sleep in the backyard

[19:33]and he had to carry me inside from the backyard.

[19:36]It did happen once.

[19:38]And then Russell woke me up and told me

[19:40]about how I pooped all over the toilet bowl,

[19:41]all over the top of the toilet seat.

[19:43]And I was like, wait a minute.

[19:45]I don't remember doing any of that last night.

[19:47]This is Russell's big bit.

[19:49]All right, here we go.

[19:50]No recollection of what this voicemail,

[19:53]it's none.

[19:54]Hey, Robbie, it's Greta.

[19:55]I just heard your story

[19:58]about Minnesota School of Bargaining

[20:00]and you are correct

[20:01]that that was a lot of fun,

[20:03]but we gained zero knowledge

[20:05]and they hated us every day.

[20:07]I do remember though

[20:09]that we were studying our cocktail flashcards

[20:14]while everybody else was studying for finals.

[20:16]So those were really good life choices.

[20:18]We also thought we were going to have

[20:21]this great cocktails and dreams summer.

[20:23]After we graduated,

[20:24]but between the two of us,

[20:27]we had exactly zero hours

[20:28]of food service experience.

[20:30]And my best offer was a busboy position

[20:34]at TGI Fridays.

[20:36]And I do believe you have some leads

[20:38]at the Minneapolis Eagle,

[20:40]but I can't remember why you didn't take that.

[20:43]You probably could have used

[20:45]some of those new spandex outfits

[20:49]you've been buying in New York.

[20:51]Anyway, good times.

[20:53]Got at least a little bit of mileage

[20:55]out of that story.

[20:56]So talk to you later.

[20:57]So we've got my friend calling in

[21:01]talking about going to the Minnesota School of Bartending.

[21:03]And I do recall people studying for finals

[21:06]and we were studying like what is in a margarita.

[21:08]And I still do not remember.

[21:10]Rob, you actually went and interviewed

[21:12]for bartending jobs.

[21:13]No.

[21:14]So here's the deal.

[21:15]As a Minnesota School of Bartending,

[21:16]one of the things they guaranteed,

[21:17]they guaranteed they would get you a job.

[21:19]That was a guarantee they had at the school.

[21:20]So then you go

[21:22]and they basically have like a roll a day.

[21:23]And you look through

[21:27]and it is Elks Club after Elks Club

[21:30]after VFW after VFW.

[21:31]I thought I was going to be like,

[21:33]hmm,

[21:34]do I want to work at a strip club or not?

[21:36]Like I thought I was going to have lots of choices.

[21:38]And it turns out it was just VFW after VFW.

[21:41]I would have been making like,

[21:42]I don't know what.

[21:42]Am I going to be working at the Escape Ultra Lounge

[21:44]making vodka tonics?

[21:46]Yeah.

[21:46]It's like, no, I'm just like.

[21:48]Is the Eagle Club,

[21:50]is that the gay club downtown?

[21:51]Yes.

[21:52]Oh, I don't.

[21:53]Is that?

[21:54]Oh God, I would have worked there two seconds.

[21:56]You would have slayed there, Rob.

[21:57]Yeah, you would have slayed.

[21:58]You would have made huge money there.

[21:59]You could have worked there and you didn't?

[22:01]That seemed like it was right up your alley.

[22:03]That's not, I don't think that's.

[22:05]Yeah, I actually never,

[22:07]as soon as I saw that the jobs were like harder to get

[22:09]than I thought, I was like, nevermind.

[22:10]Like I have to apply for something.

[22:12]I was like, what?

[22:13]Apply?

[22:14]Let me think.

[22:15]Should I apply

[22:16]or should I sit at home with a bocce ball all day

[22:18]like I'm doing right now?

[22:19]Hmm, let me think about that.

[22:20]What kind of bartender do you think you would have been, Rob?

[22:22]What would your bartending style be?

[22:23]What would your style have been?

[22:24]Would you have been like a chat people up,

[22:25]just slinging drinks?

[22:26]What would you, what would your style have been?

[22:28]I think I would have been a chat people up,

[22:30]a chat people up slash try to do a couple tricks.

[22:33]Like I'd have two or three tricks

[22:34]and about one and a half jokes, I would say every night,

[22:37]like to the same person over and over.

[22:38]How about you, Aaron?

[22:39]What type of bartender would you be?

[22:41]I, that's, oh, I love this question.

[22:44]I love this question.

[22:45]I've often dreamed of being a bartender.

[22:47]I think I would chat people up selective.

[22:50]No, I couldn't help it.

[22:51]I would chat people up.

[22:52]You know, there's no,

[22:53]like if you're back there,

[22:54]people are coming to your bar.

[22:56]I think, I think I would want to chat people up.

[22:58]But I just don't know if I can make drinks fast enough

[23:01]when, when the, the shit really hit the fan.

[23:04]I can tell you from Starbucks,

[23:06]when I worked at Starbucks and you'd start,

[23:08]the first time you had to work the morning rush,

[23:10]it was just craziness.

[23:11]Like it was nonstop, but the time flew.

[23:13]I, and Russell, you know what kind of bartender I would be?

[23:15]I figured out, I went to a gay bar here in the cities

[23:18]and the bartenders weren't wearing any shirts.

[23:19]They just had suspenders and like shorts.

[23:21]That's what I would be right there.

[23:23]Just no matter what VFW country club,

[23:26]I'm coming in no shirt on.

[23:27]Okay.

[23:28]Like whatever.

[23:29]TGI Fridays.

[23:31]What kind of bartender would you be, man?

[23:33]I think it's just like teaching.

[23:35]There's no way I could do it.

[23:37]I don't know if I could handle being around drunk people.

[23:40]I could see you as a bartender, man.

[23:42]I think you would be in an upscale bar with like the white dress shirt.

[23:46]The vast, it would have to be an upscale.

[23:48]Yeah.

[23:49]Like an old school upscale club with like all the bartenders that are

[23:53]super done up only doing old fashions and real high end cocktails.

[23:57]That's where I could see you.

[23:58]Once when they got like the fancy ice cubes with like the initials of the bar

[24:02]in the ice cubes.

[24:02]Yeah.

[24:03]Right.

[24:03]That sounds about right now.

[24:04]Russell's been to some bartending classes.

[24:06]I got to know.

[24:06]I got to turn this back.

[24:07]You know what?

[24:07]I think I would be a great bartender for about the first hour of my shift.

[24:11]And then I would turn into a complete introvert and just want to get the

[24:14]fuck out of it.

[24:15]So I would be the best bartender in the world for an hour.

[24:18]And then I would be the worst bartender for seven hours.

[24:20]I can see Russell like looking at all these ingredients.

[24:23]So the bar,

[24:24]I mean like what there's sour kinds of remove a sour mix.

[24:28]What is this?

[24:29]I would definitely want to be that bartender who like helps people feel good

[24:32]about their choices.

[24:32]You know,

[24:33]like when someone like comes in and it's like a personal trainer,

[24:36]but for drinking,

[24:37]you know,

[24:37]and somebody who's like trying to make a choice and you help them choose the

[24:39]right cocktail,

[24:40]like you'd feel like you really helped them,

[24:42]you know,

[24:42]better their life,

[24:43]except it's with alcohol,

[24:44]which is terrible for you.

[24:45]When you're talking about the people who come,

[24:47]I was actually at a bar the other night.

[24:48]It was called Eli's in downtown.

[24:50]It's kind of like a little dive bar,

[24:52]nice little spot.

[24:53]And we were sitting there,

[24:54]I was sitting there with this bar goer,

[24:56]if you will,

[24:56]we're sitting in here at the end of the bar,

[24:57]we're sitting there and all of a sudden this guy comes in,

[25:00]he's wearing,

[25:00]he's dressed up.

[25:01]He,

[25:01]I think he works as a waiter downtown or somebody sits down,

[25:03]doesn't say anything to the bartender or the waitress.

[25:06]They bring him out food five,

[25:07]10 minutes later,

[25:08]they bring him a shot of Jagermeister.

[25:10]They give him a second shot of Jagermeister.

[25:12]He didn't order one thing.

[25:13]He didn't say one thing.

[25:14]They knew exactly what this guy wanted and he was in and out of there in

[25:18]like 30,

[25:18]40 minutes.

[25:19]What do you guys think of like the regular,

[25:20]have you ever been the regular Aaron where they know exactly what

[25:23]you want or not?

[25:24]Yeah,

[25:24]no,

[25:25]definitely.

[25:25]I've been the regular a couple of different places in my life.

[25:28]Yeah.

[25:28]Where we used to go to a place that had $7 martinis and happy hours.

[25:31]So there was the $7 martini.

[25:33]But I also,

[25:34]yeah,

[25:34]I used to,

[25:35]I used to go to a bar where the servers would come in on their shift

[25:39]break and get a shot of Jameson and a small beer.

[25:44]And then like,

[25:44]I would see that same server back at the bar where they actually worked.

[25:48]So yeah,

[25:49]being a regular is like,

[25:50]that's if you can find a place where you can be a regular,

[25:53]that's,

[25:54]that's,

[25:54]that's,

[25:55]you've made it,

[25:55]you've made it as a bar door.

[25:56]How about you,

[25:58]Matt?

[25:59]Are you,

[25:59]have you been a regular?

[26:00]You're,

[26:00]you're a Richfield guy,

[26:01]but I don't know if you would have gone enough to be considered a

[26:03]regular.

[26:03]No.

[26:04]And then I,

[26:04]you know,

[26:05]I feel like I hop around,

[26:07]right?

[26:07]Like I want to be a regular.

[26:08]And then when I get to be a regular,

[26:10]it's like,

[26:10]well,

[26:10]I got,

[26:11]I got to try and it's just want to try something new,

[26:14]right?

[26:14]Like I love knowing what I'm going to eat,

[26:18]what am I going to drink when I go to a spot,

[26:20]right?

[26:20]Like there's this place called book club right now.

[26:22]It's on like 54th and Penn,

[26:23]right?

[26:24]And it's,

[26:25]it,

[26:25]you wouldn't like recommend somebody who's coming into town to like go

[26:28]there as like a,

[26:29]Oh,

[26:29]where,

[26:30]where are you going to go?

[26:30]But like,

[26:31]it's super easy for Sarah and I to go up there.

[26:33]Cause it's pretty close to our house and I can go in there.

[26:35]I get the Korean steak skewers and a hazy IPA for like 20 bucks.

[26:40]And it's awesome.

[26:41]Right.

[26:41]Kind of just in and out.

[26:42]I know what I'm going to get and I like it,

[26:44]but you know,

[26:45]I don't,

[26:45]I don't know if I go to enough.

[26:47]I don't go to one spot enough times to be a,

[26:50]a regular.

[26:50]Cause I like to move it around just enough.

[26:52]Is that place across from Broder's?

[26:54]Is that where that's at?

[26:55]No.

[26:56]So Broder's is 50th.

[26:57]And this is across from,

[26:58]yeah.

[26:59]There's a,

[27:00]sorry,

[27:00]Rob pizza place there too.

[27:02]We go.

[27:02]No,

[27:02]no,

[27:02]no.

[27:02]Broder's has Broder's now has three of the four corners are owned by

[27:06]Broder's.

[27:07]They got the deli,

[27:07]they got their pasta restaurant,

[27:10]like their fancy restaurant.

[27:11]And then they got a wine bar.

[27:12]It has like tapas and stuff.

[27:14]And so I love the podcast.

[27:16]When it turns to a map quest segment where we print out our maps and read

[27:19]them as we drive around.

[27:20]I can't,

[27:20]I cannot help myself.

[27:21]Like you mean Matt quest Southwest Minneapolis geography to me.

[27:25]Like I can't,

[27:26]I can't help myself.

[27:27]I can't get enough.

[27:28]I love it.

[27:29]I have never been a regular,

[27:30]you know,

[27:31]I've got a place where I go where they they'll ask me if I want a

[27:34]coffee,

[27:34]but they won't bring it.

[27:35]But when I used to go out to have lunch with my dad at a barbecue

[27:38]spot in Rochester,

[27:39]we sat down once and they just brought him his food.

[27:43]And he was like,

[27:43]what?

[27:44]He's like,

[27:45]Oh boy,

[27:45]they must have mistaken me for somebody else.

[27:47]I can't believe they would just do that.

[27:48]So he obviously,

[27:50]I've been going there forever.

[27:51]They tried to hide it from me.

[27:52]They just brought him out the food,

[27:53]but that I'm always jealous of that.

[27:55]My kid has goes to a bodega and she goes,

[27:57]you know,

[27:58]the lady there knows me and brings me what I want every time.

[28:01]And she's like,

[28:01]it's really great.

[28:02]And I was like,

[28:02]yep,

[28:02]that is a really awesome feeling when you are a regular,

[28:04]everybody loves it.

[28:05]I have a DVD in my house somewhere from a bartender at this place

[28:11]called the desk.

[28:11]So where we used to go for seven other martinis.

[28:13]And he was like,

[28:14]here,

[28:15]I'm going to loan you this DVD.

[28:16]It was like some David Lynch movie or something.

[28:17]And then like he stopped working there.

[28:20]And then like,

[28:20]now I have this DVD of his,

[28:23]I don't know.

[28:23]Yeah.

[28:24]I don't even have a DVD player anymore.

[28:25]And I've never watched the DVD.

[28:27]I feel kind of bad about it.

[28:28]You never even watched it.

[28:29]So how did,

[28:32]so how did,

[28:33]why did he have a DVD at the bar?

[28:35]Did he have to like go to his car?

[28:36]I think he was a movie buff.

[28:37]And it was,

[28:37]it was this,

[28:38]it was one of these bars where they had one television and they would

[28:42]turn it on for warriors or A's games,

[28:44]but nothing else.

[28:45]And so anytime there wasn't a warriors or A's game,

[28:49]they would just let,

[28:50]let people play movies on the,

[28:51]on the TV.

[28:52]So he would bring in,

[28:53]you know,

[28:54]it was like Barbarella or,

[28:55]you know,

[28:56]Dune or whatever.

[28:56]And like he,

[28:57]he was playing something.

[28:58]I must've chatted him up about it.

[28:59]He was like,

[29:00]here,

[29:00]you should like,

[29:00]it was like one of those where you like slid it across the bar.

[29:02]Like,

[29:03]I really think you might be into this.

[29:05]And then I never watched it.

[29:06]And now I've never seen him again.

[29:08]And I,

[29:08]it burns me a little bit inside.

[29:10]I feel bad.

[29:11]What?

[29:12]I just can't imagine going to a bar and having a David Lynch movie on,

[29:16]but I guess that's.

[29:16]The other awkward thing.

[29:17]And I'll stop talking soon about being a regular,

[29:20]at a bar is at some point,

[29:22]if you have not asked the bartender or the server,

[29:25]their name,

[29:25]they know your name because it's been on your credit card forever.

[29:29]And there's a,

[29:30]there's like a statute of limitations where it was too late for you to ask

[29:33]their names and you should have done it already.

[29:34]And I had a bartender call me out about it.

[29:37]Well,

[29:37]I don't know.

[29:37]Like when that happens to me,

[29:38]I just ask the people at the front.

[29:39]That's the wise way to go.

[29:41]Whatever.

[29:42]Hey,

[29:42]what's the,

[29:43]what's the bartender's name?

[29:44]And they'll,

[29:44]Oh,

[29:44]that's Joe.

[29:45]Yeah.

[29:45]That's the way to go.

[29:46]Cause I had one call me out on,

[29:47]he was like,

[29:48]Oh,

[29:48]I've known this guy's name for months and he doesn't know my name.

[29:50]And I was like,

[29:50]you're right.

[29:51]I don't know your name,

[29:52]but here's my drink.

[29:53]And the fact that that makes you awkward shows that we're so different.

[29:56]I've,

[29:56]I've been working with people for years.

[29:58]I talk to them every day.

[29:59]No idea what their name is.

[30:01]And that will not change.

[30:03]Okay.

[30:03]I am not going to learn their names.

[30:04]Don't have time.

[30:06]Okay.

[30:06]When they called you out on Aaron,

[30:09]this is when you should have pulled Rob's move and spilled your drink and

[30:12]made him clean that shit up.

[30:13]Right.

[30:13]And then dispute the charge on my MX.

[30:15]Yeah.

[30:15]It's just not exactly.

[30:18]Oh,

[30:19]it's time to see what it's up to.

[30:24]It's time for rolling gold.

[30:26]Oh yeah.

[30:29]That'd be the kind of bartender I'd have where I'd like hand out.

[30:32]I give them their drinks and it would be a Magnum condom.

[30:34]And I'd be like,

[30:34]Oh my God,

[30:35]that was in my pocket.

[30:36]That's my bad.

[30:37]I've got such a huge penis.

[30:40]Oh,

[30:41]and then I'd like pull up bottles.

[30:42]I'd be like,

[30:43]to me,

[30:43]this bottle is actually kind of small or normal size,

[30:47]whatever you're into,

[30:47]like,

[30:48]whatever,

[30:48]whatever you like.

[30:48]That's me rolling,

[30:50]going Aaron.

[30:50]How's it going with you?

[30:51]Rolling on.

[30:52]You know,

[30:53]if you know me,

[30:54]it's always up and down.

[30:54]It's always a rollercoaster of emotions.

[30:56]I've been,

[30:57]um,

[30:57]Rob would be like the little stub at the end of like the decent Rono bottle.

[31:01]Like,

[31:01]right.

[31:02]It's just a little stub at the top of the spout,

[31:04]man.

[31:05]I forget.

[31:06]Lauren has a line about Amaretto.

[31:08]What'd she say?

[31:08]Amaretto with lime or she calls it like Amaretto with shit.

[31:13]It's on,

[31:14]uh,

[31:14]it's on one of the tracks on here.

[31:15]It might be on the next.

[31:16]I apologize.

[31:16]I think I could,

[31:18]I could stick my whole penis in a shot glass though.

[31:19]The whole thing.

[31:22]I think when it's not like when it's flaccid.

[31:25]Yes.

[31:25]Well,

[31:27]I mean,

[31:27]I might,

[31:28]if you guys get a text later,

[31:29]open it.

[31:29]Okay.

[31:29]Don't even think about this.

[31:30]Oh God.

[31:35]Uh,

[31:36]yeah.

[31:36]So for me,

[31:36]I mean,

[31:37]I don't know.

[31:37]We've already been talking a lot about bars,

[31:39]but I've got some rollings going about bars.

[31:42]So I'll probably talk about those a little bit.

[31:43]Um,

[31:44]I've been working on my skincare,

[31:46]you know,

[31:46]as you get older,

[31:47]you got to take better,

[31:48]better care of your skin.

[31:48]Turns out this shit takes a long time.

[31:50]Like every time my family's ready to go out somewhere,

[31:54]I'm like,

[31:54]Oh no,

[31:54]wait,

[31:54]I'm still like putting the lotion on my feet.

[31:56]I did not see that part of the story coming.

[31:59]You're the one that's slowing them down.

[32:00]Yes.

[32:01]They're like ready to go.

[32:02]And I'm like,

[32:02]well,

[32:02]I just got out of the shower and I got to do my old guy's skincare.

[32:05]Like this thing takes,

[32:06]it's really frustrating as you get older.

[32:08]Why are you taking a shower right before your family goes out?

[32:11]That doesn't make any sense.

[32:12]That's the rock.

[32:12]It feels like you're shitting on the toilet seat now and having to clean it up and making a big thing of it.

[32:16]Why?

[32:17]What's going on?

[32:17]What's going on,

[32:18]Aaron?

[32:18]Why are you showering before your family goes out?

[32:20]It's like,

[32:20]Oh,

[32:21]it's Saturday morning and like everybody's squeezing a workout before we're going to go do a thing.

[32:24]But then like I took a shower and now like I got to do my skincare before we go.

[32:29]And like,

[32:29]everybody's waiting on me to put my socks on.

[32:31]I am convinced that skincare is a scam.

[32:34]Skincare is a scam.

[32:36]It doesn't do anything at all.

[32:37]It just makes you feel your face feel wet and then dry.

[32:41]Now it just makes me feel rushed trying to get out the door.

[32:45]What had cracked?

[32:46]Yeah.

[32:46]I mean,

[32:46]I didn't,

[32:47]I didn't,

[32:47]I didn't want to get into this,

[32:48]but I had,

[32:48]I had cracked heels,

[32:50]so I've got to take care of my feet.

[32:51]And it takes a long time.

[32:55]And I mean,

[32:57]they're like trying to,

[32:57]and like,

[32:58]there's not a great place to sit down to do this stuff.

[33:00]Cause you're like,

[33:01]you're trying to lift your feet up onto your knee.

[33:03]It's,

[33:03]it's hard work.

[33:04]So I just want to say everyone out there who's getting into their forties,

[33:08]like I am and taking good care of your skin.

[33:10]I see you.

[33:11]I know it's not easy.

[33:12]Keep fighting the good fight.

[33:14]Keep working at it.

[33:15]It takes time,

[33:16]but you,

[33:16]you,

[33:17]you're going to,

[33:17]do you feel good about it?

[33:19]Do you worry about like delaying people,

[33:21]Aaron?

[33:21]Or like,

[33:22]does that stress you out or are you good being the person that delays

[33:25]everyone?

[33:25]No,

[33:25]I mean,

[33:26]I'm usually the slowest anyway,

[33:27]except my son is like,

[33:28]you know,

[33:29]it got that gene from me.

[33:30]So no,

[33:31]it's,

[33:31]I do worry about it because he takes a thousand reminders to get out the

[33:36]door.

[33:36]And so then all of a sudden it's like,

[33:37]okay,

[33:38]Wallace is ready.

[33:38]Oh no,

[33:39]dad forgot to take his medicine or put on his lotion or whatever.

[33:42]And now we're doing it again.

[33:43]So like,

[33:44]she's got a diaper bag for Aaron.

[33:45]She's got her,

[33:45]she's got a bag for the kid.

[33:47]And then she's,

[33:47]she's got a diaper bag for Aaron with all his gout medication and

[33:50]skincare and all of this stuff.

[33:52]Sunscreen for his head to get older.

[33:53]So Aaron,

[33:54]how do you do skincare?

[33:55]Especially considering you have so much skin on your head.

[33:57]Like it goes all,

[33:58]your skin goes all the way up and down.

[34:00]Like you're taking,

[34:01]you're taking care of that.

[34:02]That's the thing.

[34:03]That's the other thing is there's a,

[34:04]there's a window for this,

[34:06]right?

[34:06]The best time to do this stuff is right when you get out of the

[34:09]shower while your skin is still damp.

[34:10]So you've got a window.

[34:11]So you've got to like,

[34:12]you got to build in this time.

[34:14]Okay.

[34:14]I'm going to like,

[34:15]we also,

[34:16]we joined the gym.

[34:16]So now like,

[34:17]we'll run up and go to the gym.

[34:18]Okay.

[34:18]You went to the gym.

[34:19]All right.

[34:20]Well,

[34:20]I,

[34:20]if I cut my rowing machine workout five minutes short,

[34:23]then I still have time to do 10 minutes in the sauna and then

[34:26]maybe get a shower and then work on my skincare.

[34:29]Like it's hard to build this stuff in your day.

[34:31]What,

[34:32]what's,

[34:33]what's,

[34:33]what are you doing for your skincare?

[34:35]This is a question.

[34:35]I've never asked a question knowing I'm going to edit it out

[34:39]faster in my life,

[34:40]but I do need to ask what your skincare is.

[34:43]I mean,

[34:44]you just need to put on your hands like Ricky Henderson.

[34:46]Are you?

[34:47]Cause that's not,

[34:47]that's not skin.

[34:48]Oh God.

[34:48]I got a Ricky Henderson story too,

[34:50]but I'm not,

[34:50]that's not on the podcast.

[34:52]I,

[34:52]I,

[34:53]that was my lucky day book,

[34:54]but then I,

[34:54]I didn't finish it and I feel it was,

[34:57]but I wish I hadn't started it anyway.

[34:58]Are you,

[34:59]are you,

[35:00]you know what you need to do,

[35:01]Aaron is take some medication to pay attention to what we're

[35:03]talking about here.

[35:04]Is this a,

[35:08]you're doing your quote unquote skincare,

[35:09]just a fake out from when you're taking too long in the

[35:13]bathroom.

[35:13]Or not.

[35:14]Oh,

[35:15]sweetie,

[35:15]you took 20 minutes in the bathroom and there's,

[35:17]there's hand moisturizer all over the place.

[35:19]Yeah.

[35:22]No,

[35:22]because like,

[35:22]no,

[35:23]because if you do it in the bathroom,

[35:24]then you like,

[35:25]there's no word.

[35:25]There's not a great place to sit in the bathroom anyway.

[35:27]So no,

[35:28]this is not,

[35:28]this is not a euphemism.

[35:29]Sweetie.

[35:30]I was,

[35:30]I was taking care of my heels and I was looking at my feet

[35:33]and I had to take care of business.

[35:34]I can actually get seriously injured if I didn't do the

[35:37]skincare routine.

[35:38]I can really get hurt.

[35:39]I think I would get,

[35:42]I think I would get frustrated with Aaron.

[35:44]And this is why Aaron and I couldn't be married.

[35:46]I would get,

[35:46]I,

[35:47]I'm not,

[35:47]like I'm a horribly impatient person sometimes horribly.

[35:50]And,

[35:51]and Aaron,

[35:53]Aaron,

[35:53]like doing his skincare when I would be ready to go would

[35:55]probably start to frustrate me.

[35:57]This has actually come up with a bar aficionado that I've

[36:00]gone out with.

[36:00]The current,

[36:02]the current thing where we had,

[36:04]we clash,

[36:05]I'll share with you guys is this bar aficionado has a,

[36:09]a nice like long jacket,

[36:11]like a full winter coat.

[36:12]And there's like 12 buttons on this winter coat.

[36:15]And this,

[36:16]this bar,

[36:17]aficionado that I go out with insists on buttoning all the buttons,

[36:21]even if we're just like walking across the street for some.

[36:23]So I've got to wait like three minutes for the jacket to be buttoned up.

[36:27]And I just get impatient.

[36:28]So I would never be able to put up with Aaron's moisturizing process.

[36:32]Do you ever,

[36:33]do you ever help to button the jacket or is that off the table?

[36:35]The jacket is the bar aficionados got it on,

[36:38]on their own.

[36:39]And then no comment.

[36:41]Oh,

[36:42]do you ever unbutton?

[36:45]Yeah.

[36:45]I was,

[36:45]I was,

[36:46]I was going to say 12.

[36:47]Not that one,

[36:50]two,

[36:51]three.

[36:52]So that's,

[36:54]I mean,

[36:54]but I have one,

[36:55]I have one,

[36:56]I got to do one uplifting message in my,

[36:58]um,

[36:59]really going tonight,

[37:00]uh,

[37:00]which is that I went out tonight to pick up some takeout for the family.

[37:03]And,

[37:04]uh,

[37:04]it was at a new dumpling place.

[37:06]And so that was,

[37:07]they were a little bit behind.

[37:08]It was their soft opening.

[37:09]So then I had some time to run across the street to the graduate and the

[37:13]graduate has a fucking incredible jukebox.

[37:16]I sent you guys a,

[37:17]a picture Chuck Berry's 28 greatest hits.

[37:20]They had one Parliament album.

[37:21]They had not one,

[37:22]but two outcast albums.

[37:24]So just like I've asked you guys about must order dishes.

[37:27]There are there,

[37:28]are there must play songs in the jukebox?

[37:30]And the one for me,

[37:31]this is now it's a slightly sad story.

[37:33]There was a Dolly Parton's greatest hits disc.

[37:35]I was like,

[37:36]immediately,

[37:37]I've got to play Jolene.

[37:38]If Jolene's on the jukebox,

[37:39]it turned out Jolene was out of order.

[37:42]Like that,

[37:42]that disc was out of order.

[37:43]So I did not get to play Jolene,

[37:45]but I played Otis Redding pain in my heart.

[37:47]I didn't for you guys.

[37:49]And for my lady who loves this song,

[37:50]now Amy Winehouse,

[37:52]me and Mr.

[37:53]Jones.

[37:53]So just so I could hear this and then I played sister,

[37:56]Nancy bomb bomb.

[37:58]So for me though,

[38:00]it was wait,

[38:00]wait,

[38:01]hope.

[38:01]Stop talking about is this,

[38:03]is this what we were?

[38:04]What was the list?

[38:05]We did where Aaron brought up bomb,

[38:07]bomb,

[38:07]and instead of bang,

[38:08]bang,

[38:09]remember we were doing Jesus Christ.

[38:10]Like we were,

[38:11]someone called in and criticized us for calling everything a banger.

[38:15]So Rob did a list of them.

[38:17]The best songs ever and then Aaron contributed one song to the list.

[38:23]And it was bomb,

[38:23]bomb by Nancy Sinatra instead of bang,

[38:25]bang,

[38:26]bang,

[38:27]bang.

[38:27]Yeah,

[38:27]I know that that's a different one.

[38:28]So I don't know.

[38:30]What do you guys like?

[38:31]What are the things that like number one for you,

[38:33]if you see it on a jukebox,

[38:34]you've got to play it.

[38:35]Aaron,

[38:36]none of us are ever used a jukebox.

[38:38]What are you talking about?

[38:40]This is the most Aaron question of all time.

[38:42]This jukebox was a fully manual jukebox.

[38:45]They even had the,

[38:45]like the sister,

[38:46]Nancy,

[38:47]disc,

[38:47]the track names were handwritten.

[38:49]Matt's with me.

[38:49]Matt's got some thoughts.

[38:50]So back in the day,

[38:52]there was a jukebox at the Broadway pizza in Richfield near Russell's house.

[38:56]And so we would go there all the time and we had to play,

[39:01]uh,

[39:01]in the jungle by the tokens,

[39:03]you know,

[39:04]as kids,

[39:04]every single time we had to play that,

[39:06]you know,

[39:06]that was worse.

[39:07]But now,

[39:08]you know,

[39:08]now it's not so much the,

[39:10]the old school jukeboxes anymore.

[39:11]It's just that little machine on the wall that you see more than anything.

[39:15]Yeah.

[39:15]It's more of an electronic thing.

[39:17]And so at the bar up in,

[39:18]uh,

[39:19]North Dakota via our cabin,

[39:21]the strawberry cooler,

[39:23]they've got a jukebox.

[39:24]And every time I walk in there,

[39:26]I have to play neon moon by Casey Musgrave.

[39:29]You know,

[39:29]it's the Brooks and Dunn song.

[39:31]There we go.

[39:32]The Casey Musgrave version is unbelievable.

[39:37]That's not the only place I like to listen to country music is up in the sticks with all those heckers up there,

[39:44]you know,

[39:44]Jesus Christ.

[39:45]Jeez.

[39:47]Wow.

[39:47]So,

[39:48]so that's about the only place like that.

[39:51]But that song,

[39:52]every,

[39:52]every time I'm there,

[39:53]I put five bucks in and that's the first one.

[39:55]I'm a,

[39:55]I'm a,

[39:56]and I've told Rob this actually told Rob this.

[39:58]We listened to it when we were out on the pontoon,

[40:00]when we conceived of this podcast.

[40:02]Oh,

[40:02]it might go to my go-to,

[40:04]a saga on the podcast.

[40:07]You got to see my shot class.

[40:09]My go-to song is space hog.

[40:12]In the meantime,

[40:13]I have a jukebox.

[40:14]Great one.

[40:15]God,

[40:15]it's a good song.

[40:17]Ooh,

[40:18]this is a great one.

[40:19]This is a crazy one because this is a CD.

[40:21]My sister had just in her car or ever.

[40:24]Right.

[40:25]And then Russell,

[40:26]we were out boating around catching fish.

[40:29]It's a great song.

[40:30]And he was like,

[40:31]yeah.

[40:32]And when the guitars really come in,

[40:34]Oh,

[40:34]the base here is so good.

[40:35]I definitely would be a better goal song than the outcast or offspring or whoever.

[40:40]Yes,

[40:41]you're right.

[40:44]Rob,

[40:44]the base is so good.

[40:45]Sometimes I think about space,

[40:47]hog.

[40:47]And I'm like,

[40:47]I wonder how much they got laid.

[40:49]You know what I mean?

[40:50]Like he was like,

[40:50]I'm the lead singer of space hog.

[40:52]And they were like,

[40:52]okay,

[40:53]let's have sex.

[40:53]And he's like,

[40:54]I had to have like a two and a half year period where it was constant.

[40:57]Just crazy.

[40:58]Yeah.

[40:58]I mean,

[40:59]this comes out of the jukebox.

[41:05]You're not loving this.

[41:06]Oh,

[41:06]yes,

[41:06]sure.

[41:07]Great call.

[41:10]This is so good.

[41:11]This makes me feel,

[41:12]you know what I go to places that have jukebox,

[41:15]especially in like Northern Minnesota.

[41:16]And I don't use them.

[41:17]That's crazy.

[41:18]Right?

[41:18]How else?

[41:19]Yeah.

[41:19]What?

[41:19]I mean,

[41:20]what a show of dominance to go in somewhere and be like,

[41:22]Hey,

[41:22]guess what?

[41:22]Fuckers.

[41:23]You're listening to my music now.

[41:24]Right.

[41:25]You know what I mean?

[41:25]Like I do it on the train with my phone.

[41:27]Everybody gets mad,

[41:27]do it in a bar.

[41:28]Everybody also gets mad,

[41:30]but I paid money.

[41:31]So there's nothing I can do about it.

[41:32]You really announce your presence with authority when you go up and start

[41:36]playing the jukebox,

[41:37]right?

[41:37]And those electronic ones,

[41:38]you can skip the line if you pay enough.

[41:41]Yep.

[41:41]Are you serious?

[41:42]That's even more.

[41:43]Yeah.

[41:43]You can pay like five bucks more or whatever.

[41:46]You can skip the line,

[41:47]go right to the front.

[41:47]So people are not dummies.

[41:50]Old school CDs.

[41:51]It was a fun.

[41:52]And you have the person before me played a Snoop Dogg.

[41:55]I don't know exactly the name of the song,

[41:57]but this is for the G's.

[41:58]That's for the hustlers.

[41:59]That's a great song too.

[42:00]And then I was like,

[42:00]I got to get on this jukebox.

[42:02]So I would,

[42:03]I would come in and play tough.

[42:04]I think that's what I would get.

[42:07]Amber Wamba.

[42:08]Jamba Wamba would get everybody fired up.

[42:09]I think that's perfect.

[42:10]Can I ask one thing about Aaron's rolling?

[42:12]Go on Aaron.

[42:13]You said it was a soft opening for this place.

[42:15]You went to soft.

[42:16]How is that different than a rock card erection?

[42:18]Opening.

[42:19]Well, you got to kind of sneak in there.

[42:21]You can't like it's that it's not so,

[42:23]so obvious,

[42:24]you know,

[42:25]like it's not,

[42:26]it's not prominent for everyone.

[42:27]Do you think like episode four 99,

[42:30]we're going to be like rock hard.

[42:32]That reminds me of a penis.

[42:33]And we're just going to get a trail off,

[42:34]like stare into space.

[42:36]It's like,

[42:37]this is the 499 time we've made this joke on this podcast.

[42:39]Another rock hard erection episode rolling.

[42:41]Go on.

[42:42]How's it rolling going with Russell?

[42:44]It's true though.

[42:44]Sometimes you will get an erection.

[42:45]That's so hard.

[42:46]Where you're like nervous.

[42:47]You're kind of like,

[42:49]like I could,

[42:50]this actually hurts when I touch it.

[42:52]Like it doesn't feel like,

[42:53]you know what I mean?

[42:54]It's too much.

[42:55]It needs to tone down a little bit.

[42:57]- The diamond cutter.

[42:58]- I do think about taking like a Cialis or something

[43:06]to see how,

[43:07]how it would be different from what I'm doing now.

[43:09]But we there's no going back.

[43:13]If you go that far,

[43:14]right, Rob?

[43:15]- Yeah, it is.

[43:16]- I don't want that trade around.

[43:17]- I don't know.

[43:18]Cause it is true that the one thing my wife has never said

[43:20]to me is,

[43:21]Oh, I wish you had a harder erection.

[43:22]Like I wish this is happening more often.

[43:25]I wish that we could do this more.

[43:26]Like she has,

[43:27]that's never been a complaint ever.

[43:28]So I must be doing okay.

[43:32]- All right.

[43:34]Rolling going Russell.

[43:35]- Rolling going.

[43:36]Things are going really good for me.

[43:37]I, a week ago,

[43:38]I went to a musical event.

[43:40]I went to the Orpheum and I went and saw the

[43:42]Tina Turner musical.

[43:44]It was the one I think that was on Broadway.

[43:45]For awhile and it got shut down because of COVID.

[43:48]But I think they were touring.

[43:49]And I went and saw Tina Turner at the Orpheum.

[43:52]- Oh, amazing.

[43:53]Did she do,

[43:54]did you hear,

[43:56]let's pretend we're married.

[43:58]- I don't really remember.

[43:59]- Classic, classic Tina Turner.

[44:01]- I'd heard probably about,

[44:04]I'd say seven to eight of the songs,

[44:06]but I'm not a huge Tina Turner music band.

[44:08]I don't know all of her stuff,

[44:09]but essentially the first half of the musical was kind of

[44:13]her as a younger artist coming up with Ike,

[44:15]Tina Turner, that whole relationship,

[44:17]kind of very difficult to watch a good portion of this

[44:21]musical, right?

[44:22]And then there's an intermission.

[44:24]And then on the second half was all about how,

[44:26]when she was an older artist and people had kind of given

[44:28]up on her and she kind of had to reinvent herself with

[44:31]more of a poppy sound, if you will,

[44:33]or I don't know if you'd call it techno or what you'd call

[44:35]it, but it's definitely a completely different sound.

[44:37]So it was a really good musical, but I'll share,

[44:39]I was going to share the three songs that jumped out to me

[44:41]that the crowd went the most crazy for when she did,

[44:45]if that's all right.

[44:45]- Please, I would say, you know what?

[44:47]This is kind of a list to me.

[44:49]I would say this is a list and I can tell you,

[44:53]this is at least going to be the second best list here.

[44:55]- Top two.

[44:58]- Top two.

[44:59]- Top two, for sure.

[45:00]- The first song that jumped out was also,

[45:02]I believe the name of the movie that was an Angela Bassett

[45:04]who was in that movie years ago.

[45:06]It's "What's Love Got To Do With It".

[45:08]This was, people went nuts for this one.

[45:10]♪ Oh me, oh, what's love got to do ♪

[45:14]- Can you tell us a story about this one?

[45:16]- No.

[45:17]- This was the video that was on VH1 a lot when I was a kid.

[45:20]- Yeah.

[45:21]- So I would have been like six or seven.

[45:22]And I, at one point turned to my mom and I said,

[45:24]mom, that Tina Turner really has nice legs.

[45:27]- You know what's sad is that I have heard that story

[45:29]on this podcast.

[45:30]- You could have stopped me, you had a choice.

[45:35]- Yeah, that's like when I was watching "Creep" with my dad.

[45:38]- Do we know who's playing the harmonica on here?

[45:40]- I love to jack off to this video,

[45:42]then we gave each other a high five.

[45:43]- Yeah.

[45:44]- And we brought you a sandwich.

[45:46]- Remember when your dad used to bring you sandwiches

[45:49]in bed, Rob?

[45:50]- Oh my God.

[45:51]So nice.

[45:51]And it wasn't just any sandwich.

[45:54]It was a bologna and cheese sandwich

[45:55]that he would heat up just slightly in the microwave.

[45:57]So it was just the cheese was a little bit melted

[46:00]and it could go right down the hatch.

[46:03]- Oh, next song that I really enjoyed

[46:05]that the people went crazy for.

[46:06]And I think this was the best song of the night.

[46:08]"It's Proud Mary".

[46:10]♪ We'll keep on, we'll keep on trying ♪

[46:14]And she's up there and everyone's dancing like crazy.

[46:17]This was an amazing, amazing part of the show.

[46:19]- Was the audience standing up and dancing?

[46:21]'Cause that happened when I saw that ABBA musical.

[46:24]- The audience did not stand for this part.

[46:26]They did stand for the end,

[46:27]which I was gonna tell you guys in about a second,

[46:28]but they weren't standing during this part of the musical.

[46:31]- No.

[46:32]- Oh man, that would be,

[46:33]I would have to get up and do that swimming move

[46:34]that she does with the...

[46:36]- Oh yeah.

[46:37]- All right, the last song that really killed it

[46:39]was probably the best song of the night.

[46:41]It's because it was simply the best by Tina Turner.

[46:44]♪ Simply the best ♪

[46:45]- This song.

[46:46]♪ Simply the best ♪

[46:49]- Fucking rules.

[46:50]♪ Better than all ♪

[46:52]- You got this kind of like Van Halen keyboard going on too.

[46:55]- Very much so, right?

[46:57]- I once went to a meeting at a school district

[47:02]and the superintendent came out

[47:03]and he started his thing with like,

[47:05]"I just want to tell you all, you're simply the best."

[47:08]And I was like, "Oh my God,

[47:09]"he's gonna play the fucking song."

[47:11]- Yes.

[47:11]- I bet he is.

[47:12]And sure enough, he ends his speech

[47:14]with, "You're simply the best."

[47:15]And then walks off to that song playing.

[47:17]And I was like,

[47:18]"How dumb do you have to be to get this job?"

[47:21]To be like, "Hmm, what's my speech

[47:23]"to a bunch of teachers is gonna be about?"

[47:24]Well, I like the Tina Turner song.

[47:25]I'm just gonna do that, like, oh.

[47:27]- At least, I mean, to his credit, he walked off

[47:29]because the awkward part would have been

[47:31]if he played the song and stayed out there.

[47:33]- Like your Jingle Bells music.

[47:34]- Kind of did the Steve Ballmer, like,

[47:36]dancing really awkwardly out there.

[47:37]- No, no.

[47:38]- That's the worst.

[47:40]I, we had a teacher day

[47:44]at school, and we had a polka band in

[47:46]with full drinks, full meal, and everything.

[47:48]- Polka, polka.

[47:49]- Polka band, and nobody danced.

[47:51]And I was like, "Do I ask one of my coworkers to dance,

[47:54]"or is that gonna lead to trouble?"

[47:56]Man, what do you think?

[47:57]You dancing with coworkers, is that gonna lead to trouble?

[48:00]- No, no.

[48:01]- Even polka, even if it's fun?

[48:04]- No.

[48:05]♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

[48:07]- But they also did covers.

[48:08]They did, like, Crazy Train, but it was polka style.

[48:11]It was great.

[48:12]- No, you're gonna impregnate someone

[48:13]if you dance with them.

[48:14]Like, you dance with somebody,

[48:15]they're gonna get pregnant,

[48:15]and you're gonna have to talk about

[48:17]they got it from a toilet seat.

[48:18]You don't wanna go there.

[48:19]- I mean, how many, yeah.

[48:19]How many phone calls have you gotten

[48:21]out of the King's Corner, you know,

[48:23]like six to eight months later, right?

[48:25]Like, "Rob, we're gonna have a talk."

[48:27]- It's yours.

[48:28]- Trust me.

[48:29]- It's yours.

[48:30]- If you're having sex with me, you remember it.

[48:32]It is not like something that where it's just like,

[48:34]"Oh, did we?"

[48:36]Like, it takes long enough,

[48:37]and you have to have a conversation about stuff,

[48:38]and it's fine.

[48:39]It's a whole thing.

[48:40]- Rob, I definitely think it's more likely

[48:43]that you would pick something

[48:43]up sitting on a padded toilet seat

[48:45]than a regular one, right?

[48:46]- Oh, god damn.

[48:47]Oh, for sure.

[48:48]Padded toilet, 'cause you can't clean it.

[48:50]You can't really clean a padded toilet seat.

[48:52]Like, let's face it.

[48:53]Yeah, is it great to sit around, Don,

[48:55]and pull the AC Slater?

[48:56]Of course, we'd love the padded toilet seat

[48:57]for that reason.

[48:58]Okay?

[49:00]- I would also not recommend doing an AC Slater

[49:02]with a bidet.

[49:03]- I was gonna say, you would either,

[49:04]it would be really, really bad

[49:05]or really, really, really good.

[49:07]Depends.

[49:08]- Depends on that.

[49:09]- So I was gonna share the two coolest things.

[49:12]The one thing about Simply the Best,

[49:13]we actually talked about that song before.

[49:15]Do you guys remember when?

[49:16]- I parried it.

[49:19]- Was it a synth list?

[49:19]It must have been synths, right?

[49:20]- It was the best saxophone solos.

[49:21]- Oh, damn.

[49:22]- Remember?

[49:23]The saxophone solos.

[49:24]But there was two things about the show

[49:26]I was gonna share.

[49:27]The first is, they did not one encore,

[49:29]two encores at a musical before.

[49:31]I didn't even know if they did encores at a musical.

[49:33]They came out, the cast came out,

[49:36]they did their bows and everything walked off.

[49:38]Boom, came back for one more.

[49:39]Came back for, they did two songs at the end.

[49:41]I thought it was fantastic.

[49:43]- That's wild.

[49:43]- I, I don't remember that.

[49:45]- Can you imagine if like Joseph

[49:47]and the Amazing Dead Color Dreamcoat,

[49:49]like Donny Osmond comes out, he's like, "Okay."

[49:51]Joseph, how could I ever ask?

[49:54]Like, yes, reprise, woo, woo, woo.

[49:57]- He's like, "Here's Ivan Maria."

[49:59]- And then the other, my other memorable part of this is,

[50:03]we were sitting kind of over on the right-hand side,

[50:05]about halfway back on the main level,

[50:08]and the whole row in front of us was empty.

[50:09]There was no people in front of us,

[50:11]so no one blocking any of your views.

[50:13]How about that?

[50:14]What do you guys think of no people in front of you?

[50:16]Isn't that the best?

[50:17]- Oh, that's great.

[50:18]- Good things happen to good people, Russell.

[50:19]- There we go, yeah, I like it.

[50:21]Speaking of good people, Matt, rolling going,

[50:23]how's it going with you?

[50:24]- Good, you might not think I'm a good person

[50:27]after my rolling going, but I had-

[50:29]- Love it, spicy.

[50:31]- What I am deeming maybe is the worst thing

[50:34]that could happen to you, happen today.

[50:38]- You're not doing 40-year-old man medical checkups, are you?

[50:41]- Did you have to throw away your fuzzy toilet seat?

[50:43]- I would rather have the 40-year-old medical checkup.

[50:47]So Leo's got a good buddy at school, right?

[50:49]- I was picturing the bidet going out.

[50:50]- Leo goes to a very nerdy school

[50:52]with a lot of really smart kids.

[50:54]So these kids are, you know, they're pretty gifted,

[50:58]but they've got some, they just,

[50:59]they're all into weird crap, right?

[51:01]And I can't figure out.

[51:02]So he wants to come over and they want to play their games

[51:05]and, you know, all this stuff, and it's like, great.

[51:07]Well, the parents, the mom calls up and says,

[51:10]"Hey, we're not doing anything, do you mind if,

[51:13]you know, I'll just use random names, you know,

[51:16]do you mind if Bridget, you know, if Joe and Bridget,

[51:18]you know, do you mind if we could come over with you,

[51:20]you know, and just hang out for a while?"

[51:22]- Oh, the parents came along on the play date.

[51:24]- The parents came along on the play date.

[51:26]- Oh, no.

[51:28]- And then they brought their younger kid too.

[51:30]And so, you know, Eddie is a first grader.

[51:32]They brought their kindergartner, which was fine,

[51:34]but they came over at 1:30 in the afternoon

[51:38]and they did not leave until 5:30.

[51:40]- Oh, oh.

[51:41]- And then you're doing

[51:42]the awkward thing of like, well, it's about dinnertime.

[51:45]Are we going to order some pizza or what?

[51:45]- Yeah, and so the guy is literally, he's saying like,

[51:49]you know, Sarah's out tonight, right?

[51:52]She's going out tonight.

[51:53]And so she's like, look, you know, I got to take a shower.

[51:57]You know, we're going out, all this stuff, you know.

[51:59]So, you know, we got to kind of get wrapping up.

[52:01]He goes, well, you know, I'm just throwing it out there.

[52:02]I'm just throwing it out there.

[52:03]You know, we could get pizza and, you know,

[52:05]so they don't get any of the hints.

[52:07]And so, I don't know.

[52:09]Have you guys ever had that?

[52:11]- Yes.

[52:12]Like, yeah, I hate it when that happens.

[52:14]A lot of times people make me go home by eight o'clock.

[52:16]Ugh, what am I going to do with my own house?

[52:19]It's so small.

[52:20]Everything's falling apart.

[52:22]- This happened to us on MLK day.

[52:23]We were going to invite Wallace's and friends who are twins.

[52:27]It's like, oh, let's have the twins over for a play date.

[52:29]And then it turns out on the morning of, oh, hey,

[52:32]do you mind if both parents come too?

[52:34]And we're like, oh, shit.

[52:36]Yeah, we'll get some, you know, pastries or whatever.

[52:39]And then all of a sudden it's like, well, it's lunchtime.

[52:41]I hope everyone likes boxing.

[52:42]It's like boxed mac and cheese.

[52:44]I don't know.

[52:44]Like, yeah, it's terrible.

[52:45]And you, you thought you were going to like chill

[52:47]while your kids played.

[52:48]- Well, can I, can I tell you the best part about this though?

[52:52]- Yeah.

[52:53]- Okay.

[52:54]Did it turn out that they, do they bring a pineapple?

[52:55]Cause I told you what that means.

[52:56]- Sock sod or sock sod?

[52:57]- Yeah, I don't know what that means, man.

[52:58]If they bring a pineapple.

[52:59]- No.

[53:00]The best part about this was I wasn't here for any of it.

[53:03]If you guys are listening, it was done there that I was there.

[53:06]Sarah got stuck with these fuckers for four hours today.

[53:12]- Best person in the world.

[53:13]I have the greatest wife, guys.

[53:15]She called, she, she's like, look, they want to come over.

[53:19]Whatever.

[53:20]If you don't want to be here, you don't have to be here.

[53:22]So I got the fuck out of there.

[53:24]- You took me, you took me.

[53:25]- I got out of there.

[53:26]I got out of there.

[53:26]It was the greatest thing.

[53:27]- Were you in the baseball?

[53:28]Did she call you from upstairs and you were downstairs?

[53:30]And she like called you and said, you have to be here.

[53:31]- No, cause this has been planned for a while, right?

[53:33]She goes, look, whatever it is, what are you going to do?

[53:36]I'm like, well, I don't know.

[53:38]I'll go to Menards for an hour.

[53:39]And then like the Spartans played a basketball game today.

[53:42]I got to go watch basketball.

[53:44]You know, the Spartans played the nil for an hour and a half.

[53:46]So the greatest thing about this,

[53:48]I didn't have to partake of this.

[53:50]Sarah had to do all the talking to the parents.

[53:52]She hung out with them for four hours.

[53:54]I had 10 minutes with them and I was ready to jump out

[53:58]the window after just 10 minutes with them.

[54:00]She was, she was literally with them from 1:30.

[54:03]They were trying, Sarah, she was trying,

[54:05]she was pushing them out the door at five.

[54:07]And I got home at five and they finally left at 5:30.

[54:10]And so I've got a St.

[54:12]For wife, Sarah think I owe Sarah big time.

[54:14]I don't know what to say, but yep.

[54:16]She, she, she looked out for me.

[54:19]She knew this was my worst thing.

[54:20]- Rob, what would Jenny say if you pulled a stunt like that?

[54:23]- Oh yeah, that's happened before.

[54:25]For sure.

[54:25]- And how did it go over?

[54:26]- We had somebody stay over because they were going

[54:28]to a meeting about getting their head frozen after they die.

[54:31]Okay. Which I don't really want to get into right now.

[54:34]- Love it.

[54:34]- What we think of it.

[54:35]- Yeah. No reason to do it.

[54:36]- Feels like we should get into this.

[54:38]- It seems like the type, this was the book idea

[54:40]of Aaron's other book idea.

[54:41]- That's right.

[54:42]- Where they bring them back to save baseball.

[54:43]I just listened to that episode.

[54:45]That's how pathetic my life is.

[54:46]I just listened to that.

[54:47]No, but he was going to a meeting where he's like,

[54:50]listen, I'm going to get my head frozen.

[54:51]Okay. And there's a meeting about it.

[54:53]And I was like, I kind of want to go to this meeting

[54:54]to see what other kinds of people are there.

[54:56]Cause I got, I was like,

[54:57]I got to see who's getting their head frozen.

[54:59]Like if it's, if I go on it,

[55:00]it's like Albert Einstein's brain in a jar.

[55:02]And he's like talking to me.

[55:03]I'm like, Hey, this shit works.

[55:04]Obviously like we should all be doing it.

[55:06]But so he slept over this guy who's older than Jenny

[55:11]and I, they ended up sleeping over cause it was late.

[55:14]And so I had to tell my kid like, Hey,

[55:15]you're not sleeping in your room.

[55:16]She's like, what?

[55:17]I was like, yeah, some guy is.

[55:18]She's like, what are you talking about?

[55:19]I was like, yeah, that's the way it is.

[55:21]Well, I get a text.

[55:22]So I go to work the next day.

[55:23]I get a text at like noon and it just says,

[55:26]they're still here.

[55:28]And I was like, whoa.

[55:29]I was like, I'm at work, don't know what to do.

[55:32]Like, I don't know.

[55:33]Like it's, it's tough when people come into your house

[55:36]and they don't, and they're not good leavers.

[55:38]It's really tough.

[55:39]You can't just do what I do at parent teacher conference.

[55:41]Where I just stand up.

[55:43]Like they'll be talking to me and I'll just stand up

[55:45]and then everybody stands up and they leave.

[55:46]- Yeah.

[55:47]- I had one parent once not get the signal when I stood up.

[55:50]I was like, okay.

[55:51]They were talking to me about something.

[55:52]And I stood up and they kept talking to me.

[55:53]I was like, okay, I don't know what my next move is.

[55:55]I like grab them under the arms

[55:56]and like kind of start forcing them toward the door.

[55:58]- And these parents too,

[55:59]Leo just had his birthday about a month ago.

[56:01]These are the parents who, you know,

[56:02]birthday parties over at five, PSA.

[56:06]If a party says over five, pick your kids up at 4:55, right?

[56:10]You're there.

[56:11]So get the heck out of there, right?

[56:13]They didn't come for a half hour after that.

[56:15]So their kids just sitting there, you know?

[56:17]And so, yeah, the worst people.

[56:19]- No.

[56:20]- So I got to just say.

[56:20]- Worst people in the world.

[56:21]- Oh.

[56:22]- You know what?

[56:23]- Worst people in the world.

[56:24]- I get it, actually.

[56:25]- Yeah.

[56:25]- I totally get it.

[56:26]- You're not wrong.

[56:27]- Worst people in the world.

[56:28]So Sarah, thank you.

[56:29]- I picture Matt,

[56:30]like Sarah calling down Matt in the basement,

[56:30]like they're coming right now.

[56:32]And then Matt like crawling out the window of his basement

[56:34]that I can see right behind him.

[56:35]He crawls out.

[56:36]- Hold on.

[56:37]- He stands up and the people are right there.

[56:39]He's crawled out right by the front door.

[56:41]And he like has to dust dirt off himself.

[56:42]Be like, oh, oh, I was just checking something.

[56:44]I got to, I'm going to go to Menards, emergency.

[56:47]Sarah shit all over my fancy toilet cover.

[56:50]I got to go.

[56:51]- Here's the text, Jane.

[56:54]Basketball game got over about 4:30.

[56:55]I said, how's it going?

[56:57]Help me, period.

[56:58]Smiley face.

[56:59]Just crazy, period.

[57:01]They're still here.

[57:02]I suggest, I suggested they go at five.

[57:05]- Yeah.

[57:06]- And I just sent back message failed.

[57:07]- The dad said, threw up a dad just threw out there.

[57:12]We can do order pizza.

[57:17]- Wow.

[57:18]- He hasn't stopped talking for three hours.

[57:20]- So can you, can you find out for Matt?

[57:22]Re-examining the situation.

[57:24]Is there a chance that this was a swinger type setup?

[57:27]- No.

[57:29]I mean, I met the guy for 10 minutes.

[57:30]No, not even close.

[57:33]- Well, he told you, he goes, he goes, listen,

[57:35]don't worry about it.

[57:36]I definitely don't want

[57:37]to fuck with your wife.

[57:37]- I was with him for 10 minutes.

[57:38]We talked about him, his 21 year old dead cat,

[57:42]him finding his dead cat and how it felt

[57:45]and how he can still remember the feeling

[57:47]of touching his dead cat who'd been dead for about 12 hours.

[57:51]And we talked about this for like five minutes.

[57:53]So this guy knows he's-

[57:54]- Was the dead cat rock hard or soft?

[57:56]- Oh, no.

[57:57]- Rigor mortis.

[57:59]- Matt, did you tell this guy about the podcast?

[58:02]It sounds like he would love our podcast.

[58:04]It sounds like-

[58:05]- I can't tell him now.

[58:05]- I can't tell him now.

[58:06]- No.

[58:07]- No, people like that never realize that they're like that.

[58:09]He'd be like, oh man, this guy, what a dumb ass,

[58:12]whatever story, whoever this story is about,

[58:14]I feel bad for him.

[58:15]What a dummy.

[58:16]- Yeah.

[58:16]- So thank you, Sarah.

[58:17]Rob, rolling, going, how's it going with you?

[58:20]- Listen, I, it is, it's Girl Scout cookie season.

[58:27]Okay, Girl Scouts are out delivering cookies.

[58:29]And I was talking to a friend and she claimed,

[58:31]oh yeah, I love Girl Scout cookies.

[58:32]And I said, oh, what do you think about tagalongs?

[58:34]And she did not know what I was talking about.

[58:36]I exposed her lies.

[58:38]What is your favorite,

[58:39]what is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

[58:41]- I like the ones Aaron just said,

[58:44]whatever the coconut ones are called.

[58:45]- Oh, those, yeah.

[58:46]- The Samoans?

[58:47]- Those are the best by far.

[58:48]- Ugh.

[58:49]- Yeah.

[58:49]- Yeah.

[58:50]- Or the Dosey Dose.

[58:51]I like the Dosey Dose, like the peanut butter ones.

[58:52]You can just eat them like potato chips.

[58:54]- You guys are crack-

[58:55]- Tagalongs, I know what you're talking about.

[58:57]People had some at work.

[58:58]I still, I'm a, I'm a thin mints in the freezer guy.

[59:01]I just-

[59:02]- That's a good choice.

[59:03]- Can't get enough of them.

[59:04]- It's the only right answer.

[59:05]My, my mom would buy,

[59:06]like anytime somebody buys Girl Scout cookies

[59:08]that aren't thin mints, I think that they're morons.

[59:11]Like, I think that they're fucking idiots

[59:12]and they should be probably put in jail actually,

[59:14]because what's the point?

[59:15]- I think the thin mints are the most overrated.

[59:18]I don't need mint ruining my chocolate.

[59:22]I just want chocolate.

[59:22]I don't want, I don't need mint ruining it.

[59:24]- Oh, I love mint.

[59:25]Mint chocolate chip, ice cream, great stuff.

[59:29]- I'm working on disagreeing with people,

[59:31]but you're a fucking moron and you should be put in jail.

[59:33]That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[59:36]- I don't think he's wrong.

[59:37]I mean, I enjoy the thin mints,

[59:39]but I can see how someone would want

[59:41]unadulterated chocolate, I get it.

[59:43]- No, you can eat those thin mints.

[59:44]It's like loading a machine gun.

[59:46]You can just take that sleeve and go like.

[59:47]And if you want to do some safe eating

[59:50]and not get the calories,

[59:51]you can just eat it with the sleeve on.

[59:53]You know what I mean?

[59:54]You just put that thing down until it touches your uvula.

[59:57]You're like, oh, you're eating that thing.

[60:00]You get the sensation, none of the calories.

[60:01]It's great.

[60:03]- What's the key to self-discipline

[60:05]with Girl Scout cookies?

[60:06]- That's one of the people that I work with.

[60:07]- Yeah, just don't buy it.

[60:08]- He brings his daughter in and I'm like,

[60:10]oh, I want to support.

[60:11]She's doing like raising money to go on trips and stuff.

[60:13]I'm like, so the other day she came in

[60:14]with the whole basket.

[60:15]I was like, I'll just buy the basket.

[60:17]I just bought the whole basket out.

[60:18]And then like, I put them in my drawer

[60:20]and then I just throw them in the break room

[60:22]little by little.

[60:23]But the problem is if you have one slip up,

[60:27]you can't turn it around, right?

[60:28]It's the trains off the tracks again,

[60:31]where you can't stop once you start.

[60:34]- I once went on a ski vacation

[60:36]with a bunch of people who are listening to this podcast

[60:38]and I had somehow bought a case of Thin Mints.

[60:41]Now I don't know how many boxes are in a case,

[60:44]but I ate the whole case on like this two day ski vacation.

[60:47]I have never been so sick of Thin Mints in my life.

[60:51]It was crazy.

[60:52]I was hammering them.

[60:53]Plus I don't get how they get to sell shit

[60:54]outside of grocery stores.

[60:55]That just seems illegal to me, right?

[60:57]I mean, if I tried that, like bought some groceries

[61:00]and then sold it outside for a slightly different price,

[61:03]I feel like I would get in big trouble for that.

[61:05]- What's the licensing?

[61:05]What's the licensing like on this?

[61:07]- Especially if you were handing out Magnum condoms

[61:09]the whole time too, right?

[61:09]- Yeah, well, the thing with the Magnum condoms-

[61:11]- Because you got Magnum condoms full of Thin Mints.

[61:13]- You can fit a full sleeve,

[61:14]you can put a full sleeve in there.

[61:16]It could be like a Thin Mint dildo that you have.

[61:18]- Oh God.

[61:19]- You know what?

[61:20]Okay, can we do me a favor?

[61:21]Let's call those sleeves.

[61:22]'Cause I think I've always called them sleeves.

[61:24]Let's just start calling them dildos.

[61:26]You know what I mean?

[61:26]- A Magnum of Thin Mints.

[61:27]- A Magnum of Thin Mints, a dildo of Thin Mints.

[61:30]- How many Thin Mints did you eat?

[61:31]- Oh my God, I ate the whole dildo.

[61:32]- Two Magnums.

[61:33]- I ate the whole dildo of Thin Mints.

[61:36]Yeah, I had the whole box, two dildos of Thin Mints, yuck.

[61:38]- Oh God.

[61:39]- Too much.

[61:40]But I literally had like,

[61:41]I don't know what it was,

[61:42]eight boxes of Thin Mints in a weekend.

[61:44]- Oh.

[61:45]- It was heaven, honestly.

[61:47]- It was a box, a box has two dildos in it, or one?

[61:51]- A box has two dildos of Thin Mints in it.

[61:54]And I ate a ton of those.

[61:55]And you know what?

[61:57]After my wedding,

[61:58]it was the number one greatest day of my life.

[62:01]- Let's talk about the album.

[62:02]- It's time for an extra music podcast, Aaron.

[62:04]- Let's talk about the album.

[62:06]- I love talking about music with you guys.

[62:08]- By the way, Girl Scouts of America,

[62:09]if you start calling them dildos of Thin Mints,

[62:11]I'm gonna know that you're listening to the show, okay?

[62:14]I'm gonna know, all right?

[62:16]So don't do that.

[62:16]- Copyright that.

[62:17]- The Fugees.

[62:19]They are considered to be really

[62:21]the first popular alternative hip hop act, right?

[62:25]The one that kind of made alternative hip hop mainstream.

[62:27]Aaron, how exactly would you define alternative hip hop?

[62:29]Is it like hip hop

[62:30]with a little more singing kind of?

[62:32]- Well, I was gonna say,

[62:35]if you're gonna talk about the first,

[62:36]I don't know.

[62:37]So I'm gonna have all kinds of problems with this album

[62:39]because I've been doing nothing but listening to De La Soul

[62:42]since they put their stuff out on streaming.

[62:43]So I would have to say if alternative hip hop is a genre,

[62:48]De La Soul probably did it first.

[62:51]But I think it's kind of meant to capture the genre

[62:54]of like people saying quirky things.

[62:58]It's not, it's not just about

[63:00]or it's not just about gangster stuff.

[63:03]So I think it's meant to capture this kind of third area.

[63:07]Go ahead, Matt.

[63:08]- I would almost put A Tribe Called Quest

[63:12]in the same category.

[63:13]- That's a good one.

[63:14]- You know, I just, I think of them as something different

[63:17]than, you know, the NWA's and the, you know,

[63:21]some of those other, those are more rap groups than hip hop.

[63:24]You know, I think there's always a difference

[63:26]between rap groups and hip hop groups, but I think of,

[63:30]I try, you know, and so then it even comes into

[63:31]what is popular, right?

[63:33]Like I hadn't heard anything like this, you know,

[63:36]in Minneapolis, Minnesota, as a 15, 16 year old,

[63:41]until this came out, you know,

[63:43]at least that was popular to me.

[63:44]So did it bring it to the masses more than, you know,

[63:48]was it like the first kind of successful one?

[63:50]I think maybe it brought it to the masses more than anything.

[63:53]- To say that this was so successful is an understatement.

[63:56]I remember hearing these songs.

[63:57]- Yeah, this sold so many records.

[63:59]I remember hearing these songs a billion times

[64:02]when I was growing up.

[64:03]Like I knew some of these songs, every note, every word,

[64:05]and I never chose to put it on.

[64:08]- I just, I also want to say,

[64:09]I think some of the difference too is

[64:11]in terms of what they were sampling.

[64:13]So early hip hop was so much James Brown

[64:16]and that era of funk.

[64:19]Then the West Coast got into Parliament, G-Funk,

[64:23]and then East Coast with De La and Tribe.

[64:26]And then these guys, there's a lot of jazz samples.

[64:28]There's a lot of '70s R&B

[64:29]and soul fusion jazz.

[64:30]So I think the backbone of what the beats were

[64:33]was a different thing too.

[64:34]- There's also something about having a female vocalist,

[64:37]right, that that sets them apart from so many other groups.

[64:40]- Yeah.

[64:41]- I mean, it's kind of, you know,

[64:42]who we've listened to that's almost kind of like this

[64:44]is you gotta think Portishead a little bit, right?

[64:47]Like, I don't think a lot of people are saying that,

[64:49]but I am, okay?

[64:52]And I also quoted that we should call the Thin Mint dildos,

[64:55]Matt, while you were gone.

[64:55]So if you hear me mention that, that's what I was saying.

[64:58]- Rob, sometimes you mistake our silence for being critical

[65:01]and we're actually just thinking.

[65:02]I was trying to think of who came first.

[65:05]Who was listening to who between these guys and Portishead?

[65:07]I don't actually know.

[65:08]- Aaron, can I come over to your house for a little bit later

[65:12]and just hang out?

[65:14]Just you and me.

[65:14]We'll just hang out.

[65:15]- Come over and listen to music.

[65:16]- We should all do that.

[65:18]This is the third best-selling album of 1996, okay?

[65:22]Number one, anybody want to take a guess?

[65:24]Number one, we've done it.

[65:26]- Bush, "Life After Death," Biggie.

[65:27]- "Life After Death," Biggie.

[65:28]- Ooh, I like that one, Russell.

[65:29]- Matt, what do you think?

[65:30]- 1996?

[65:33]I don't know, I can't think.

[65:35]- It is, well, you ought to know,

[65:37]'cause it's Alanis Morissette is number one.

[65:40]- Isn't that '95?

[65:41]- "Falling Into You," no, no, come on, Matt.

[65:44]"Falling Into You" by Celine is number two.

[65:47]"Tragic Kingdom" by No Doubt was after this.

[65:49]"Daydream" by Mariah.

[65:50]I mean, this was a banger, banner year for music.

[65:54]- Good bomb bomb.

[65:56]- I mean, it's so good. - "Tragic Kingdom."

[65:57]- It's so good.

[65:58]This was a Album of the Year nominee.

[66:00]This is an Album of the Year,

[66:01]the first ever hip hop group

[66:05]that got nominated for Album of the Year,

[66:06]which is crazy that it was this late.

[66:08]And it ended up winning a Grammy Award for best rap album,

[66:11]along with the best R&B performance by a duo or group

[66:15]with the vocal for "Killing Me Softly."

[66:17]So here's what I'm gonna do, okay?

[66:18]'Cause I gotta, this blew my mind,

[66:21]because the idea of a R&B performance

[66:24]by a duo or group with vocals,

[66:27]I was like, holy cow,

[66:29]this sounds like something I would love.

[66:30]So I'm gonna put it in the chat right now.

[66:32]Here's a link to every winner of that.

[66:35]And I have picked my favorite winners

[66:38]from a Grammy Award for best R&B performance

[66:41]by a duo or group with vocals.

[66:43]And that is tonight's second list.

[66:47]- Double list night.

[66:48]- It's a list during the, about the album.

[66:50]- Double list, wow.

[66:54]- This is gonna, I can't wait.

[66:56]- Another top two list of the night.

[66:59]- So I have gone through, this award ran from 1967

[67:03]all the way up to 2011, okay?

[67:06]There are some great songs.

[67:07]The first song that grabbed my imagination

[67:09]was the winner from 1969.

[67:13]This is "The Temptations" with Cloud Nine.

[67:16]- Oh!

[67:17]♪ Cloud Nine ♪

[67:19]- Ooh, love this song.

[67:20]♪ Cloud Nine ♪

[67:21]- And basically this is "The Temptations" being like,

[67:23]hey, we're gonna go psychedelic now.

[67:25]The slide in "The Family Stone"

[67:26]is doing that.

[67:28]This was Grammy, the first Grammy for Motown.

[67:31]Can you believe that, Aaron?

[67:32]- This was the first one?

[67:33]- Yep, '69.

[67:34]- None of those others, wow.

[67:37]- You'd win some money on bar trivia with that one.

[67:39]♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

[67:41]- So then, if you look, they beat out,

[67:45]that was after "Soul Man" won.

[67:47]They beat out.

[67:49]- I believe we're confusing that with "Dole Man,"

[67:51]if you remember from our best president song list.

[67:53]- "Dole Man."

[67:54]- Remember?

[67:56]Can you imagine somebody listening to that being like,

[67:59]I better vote for this Bob Dole guy.

[68:01]This song is so good.

[68:02]- Bob Dole.

[68:03]- Listen, normally I disagree with Sam and Dave,

[68:04]but I love it here.

[68:06]Next up, so then from the '70s,

[68:08]that was from the one I picked from the '60s.

[68:10]From the '70s, in 1972, the winner was "Proud Mary Russell,"

[68:14]but we've already listened to that song on the list,

[68:15]so we cannot listen to it anymore.

[68:18]We had "Papa Was a Rolling Stone,"

[68:19]but I know we've done that.

[68:20]So instead, I picked "Rufus and Chaka Khan,

[68:23]"Tell Me Something Good."

[68:24]- Oh, nice.

[68:25]- Yeah, this is a good one.

[68:26]You know who wrote this song?

[68:28]Stevie Wonder and gave it to Rufus.

[68:33]He was like, "Yeah, I know I could make this a huge hit

[68:35]"if I did it, but I'll give it to you."

[68:37]- I don't think he would've done it this slow, though.

[68:41]He would've done it faster.

[68:42]- Ooh, it sounds good, though.

[68:43]- I like this syrupy, sweet, you know,

[68:46]and Chaka sounds good.

[68:47]- But guys, I love the R&B with vocal

[68:51]is my favorite kind of music.

[68:53]I gotta make like a Pandora station for this.

[68:55]This is the first song, by the way,

[68:56]to use one of the earliest used to talk box

[68:58]on the guitar.

[68:59]Listen.

[68:59]- All right.

[69:01]♪ Tell me something good ♪

[69:02]- From the '80s, I picked from 1987.

[69:05]This is "Prince and the Revolution."

[69:07]♪ Women like us ♪

[69:09]- With Kiss.

[69:10]♪ I want to set their room on fire ♪

[69:12]- Top of the charts for two weeks.

[69:14]By the way, this video, go watch this video.

[69:16]♪ That's so fake now ♪

[69:18]- Prince is sexy as hell,

[69:20]and there's this woman dancing next to him.

[69:21]It was the best video I've ever seen in my life.

[69:24]And then finally,

[69:26]I'm gonna show you why this is the greatest thing ever,

[69:29]kind of music ever.

[69:30]In the '90s, okay?

[69:32]You think, oh, it's "Coolie High Harmony"

[69:35]from Boyz II Men.

[69:35]No, not the best.

[69:37]"End of the Road" from '93.

[69:40]The winner in '93, no.

[69:41]So, Boyz II Men won in '92.

[69:42]They won in '93.

[69:44]They won in '95 with "I'll Make Love to You."

[69:46]Okay?

[69:47]- Oh, yes.

[69:48]- You might think, oh, that's the best.

[69:49]1996.

[69:49]- That is the height of silk pajamas, right?

[69:52]- Yes.

[69:52]- Oh, for sure.

[69:53]God, I still, you know,

[69:55]I still want silk everything.

[69:57]My wife got me a silk pillowcase,

[69:59]as speaking of skin routine, skincare,

[70:01]she got me a silk pillowcase.

[70:04]It feels so good on my face when I sleep.

[70:07]I feel like I'm sleeping in panties.

[70:10]It's just like,

[70:11]it's like, just imagine falling asleep on a pair of panties,

[70:14]and it's just like, oh, this is my dream.

[70:17]I love it.

[70:18]From 1997, of course,

[70:22]they won this with "Killing Me Softly."

[70:24]The Fugees won with this song.

[70:25]1996, "Creep."

[70:27]But the best song to ever win,

[70:29]R&B group with vocals.

[70:31]From 1998,

[70:33]"Black Street."

[70:35]- Yes.

[70:37]- So great.

[70:38]♪ Strictly bitch, you don't play around ♪

[70:39]- And then finally, as a participation award,

[70:43]I am throwing in,

[70:44]from 1999, "TLC."

[70:46]♪ A scrub is a guy ♪

[70:48]- No scrubs.

[70:49]- A participation award.

[70:51]- Okay.

[70:52]- Busta.

[70:53]- Which forever defined what a scrub is.

[70:55]- I think that the word scrub really didn't exist

[70:57]before this song.

[70:59]And I want to remind you,

[71:00]this video has them dancing inside of a space station.

[71:02]A space station.

[71:03]Doesn't make a ton of sense.

[71:04]- That's true, when you can invent,

[71:05]when you can invent a new slang,

[71:06]you've really made it, right?

[71:08]- Oh, for sure.

[71:09]Okay.

[71:10]I mean, that's,

[71:11]Aaron, what you said is so smart.

[71:12]It reminds me of a thin mint dildo.

[71:16]- You guys remember,

[71:17]we've actually talked about "Black Street" once before.

[71:21]It was on the "Cure" album,

[71:22]where we did the best songs about getting old,

[71:24]and we did "Grandma's Hands,"

[71:25]by Bill Withers.

[71:26]- Yes.

[71:27]- Which was the song that "Black Street" sampled.

[71:28]- Absolutely.

[71:29]So, the first,

[71:32]they had an album before this one.

[71:34]By the way, we're still in the about the album.

[71:35]They had an album before this one,

[71:36]but it was a total bomb.

[71:38]And so this one-

[71:39]- I owned that on CD.

[71:39]Luncheon on Reality.

[71:40]All I wanted was to sell like 500

[71:43]and be a ghetto superstar,

[71:44]since my first album, "Blunted."

[71:46]- The cashier at the grocery store gave it to me on CD.

[71:48]I never saw that again.

[71:49]Wasn't ever able to return it.

[71:51]So for this album, they got total artistic control.

[71:53]Let's get into it.

[71:55]"Red" intro.

[71:56]♪ Everybody break out ♪

[71:57]♪ And beat my man Bob G up the other day ♪

[71:59]♪ Cops, pigs just babbling on us ♪

[72:01]- All right, all right, all right, let's come on.

[72:04]"How Many Mics."

[72:05]- I don't love the tone it sets.

[72:06]It's, I don't love the tone.

[72:07]It's too dark for me.

[72:09]- "How Many Mics."

[72:10]♪ Microphones ♪

[72:11]♪ Too many MCs ♪

[72:13]♪ How many mics do we rip on the daily ♪

[72:15]- They put this on a mixtape.

[72:16]♪ Say many, many, many ♪

[72:18]- And it was the first record

[72:19]that anybody heard from this album, right?

[72:21]♪ Many, many, say many, many ♪

[72:22]- Now, Aaron, explain to me what a mixtape is in the hip hop.

[72:25]- What a mixtape is in the hip hop world.

[72:26]It's a way for artists to get music out there

[72:30]outside of the traditional label distribution forum.

[72:33]So I don't know exactly how they got to market,

[72:35]but like back when you could go to--

[72:37]- It was all out of the back of trunks.

[72:41]- Right, yeah, so somebody paid to get these CDs printed up

[72:44]or cassettes, and yeah, it was a cheaper way

[72:46]to get some music out there.

[72:48]- Usually it was 10 to 12 songs

[72:51]and 10 to 12 different artists,

[72:53]and they're coming up and, you know,

[72:54]I think $0.50, $0.50.

[72:57]I mean, I think that's how he basically got--

[72:59]- I think Eazy-E did that too, right?

[73:00]- 100%, yeah.

[73:01]- Yeah.

[73:02]- But yeah, $0.50, I mean, yeah, I mean,

[73:05]pretty frequently they were using other people's beats,

[73:07]and so it was sort of black market.

[73:09]It wasn't something that was cleared by a record label,

[73:12]but yeah, $0.50, that was a big area for him to get going.

[73:16]- I think this is the greatest female vocal intro

[73:20]in a song ever.

[73:21]Listen to this. - It's pretty awesome.

[73:23]Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

[73:23]♪ Ready or not ♪

[73:24]♪ Here I come ♪

[73:25]- Yeah.

[73:26]- Yeah, if you hear this, right,

[73:27]you're listening to the whole song.

[73:28]You're not going anywhere.

[73:29]- It sounds good.

[73:31]It's perfectly produced.

[73:33]Her voice is perfect.

[73:34]♪ Ready or not ♪

[73:35]- Do you wanna know why it's perfect?

[73:36]- Haunting and scary and spooky.

[73:38]Who was it mixed by?

[73:40]- Was it Bob Power?

[73:43]- Yeah.

[73:44]- Basie or Basie Bob Rock?

[73:46]- Oh, right!

[73:47]- Remember when Rob talked about the Billy talking bass

[73:51]or whatever he's called?

[73:52]- Yeah, that's right.

[73:53]♪ Take me to the river ♪

[73:54]- It's the same guy who worked with Mary J. Blige, I think.

[73:57]- It does sound great.

[73:59]- Can you imagine walking into your cabin

[74:00]and the fish turns to you and goes,

[74:02]♪ Ready or not ♪

[74:03]♪ Here I come ♪

[74:04]♪ Here I come ♪

[74:06]♪ I'm gonna find you ♪

[74:09]- This is definitely a great headphone album.

[74:11]There's a lot of switching back and forth in the ears.

[74:14]This is definitely amplified if you're listening

[74:17]to good headphones on this one.

[74:18]- So this is before "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill," right?

[74:21]- Yeah.

[74:22]- Oh, can you imagine listening to this

[74:23]and then hearing she has

[74:24]a solo album coming out?

[74:26]How excited you would be?

[74:27]Oh, man, it's just, what a great time.

[74:29]"Zealots," lots of nerdy references.

[74:32]- I love songs that sample this track.

[74:39]- Yeah, it's a good one.

[74:41]♪ I only have arms ♪

[74:44]- Are you talking about Parallax?

[74:45]He's fucking talking about the Green Lantern.

[74:47]Like, this is amazing.

[74:49]- Well, no, Parallax.

[74:50]He was actually referencing, the way we know that this is--

[74:54]Okay, the way we know the distance to stars, Aaron,

[74:57]is that we actually compare when we're on one side

[74:59]of the sun compared to the other.

[75:00]Just like if you were to open or close one eye,

[75:02]the things in front of you would move side to side.

[75:04]Well, the amount they move, if you calculate the angle,

[75:07]you can then calculate the distance, of course,

[75:08]using inverse sign.

[75:10]- So he's not talking about the Parallax

[75:12]in the Green Lantern books?

[75:14]- No, he's talking about the actual science Parallax thing.

[75:16]- Hey, Rob, you can put that last section

[75:19]right next to our MatQuest section

[75:21]when we went over the south Minneapolis geography.

[75:24]- I don't know, I was way into it

[75:25]when I was talking about it.

[75:27]It's so different when I'm talking about it.

[75:28]Next up, my favorite X-Men, and this is true, "The Beast."

[75:34]- Ooh, I like that one.

[75:35]- I was so disappointed when I found out "Beast"

[75:39]was played by Kelsey Grammer in the movies.

[75:41]I was like, "Are you serious?"

[75:43]- What a dork, right?

[75:44]- The Beast is Frasier?

[75:45]I have to believe that Frasier is running around,

[75:47]like, beating up people.

[75:49]This is so stupid.

[75:51]- I actually thought of Matt when I heard this one.

[75:52]There's definitely a--

[75:54]- Ooh-ha, ooh-ha.

[75:55]- Yeah, there is a ooh-ha.

[75:56]- It brought me back to Matt's list a few weeks ago.

[75:58]- Ah, ah!

[75:59]♪ Mr. Mayor ♪

[76:00]- This is the one chorus that my son

[76:02]was walking around the house singing.

[76:04]So if you can imagine how cute a kindergartner is saying,

[76:06]♪ Warn the town, the Beast is loose ♪

[76:09]- Well, that's so interesting

[76:10]'cause one of the first lyrics on that song is,

[76:12]"Newt Gingrich could suck a good dick."

[76:14]- Yeah.

[76:15]- So I don't know if he's gonna repeat that as well.

[76:16]'Cause I think you have a lot of questions,

[76:18]mostly about, like, who is Newt Gingrich?

[76:20]Why does everyone your age know who he is?

[76:23]That's kinda it?

[76:24]Like, you can't tell me much more about Newt Gingrich?

[76:26]- If I remember correctly,

[76:28]he came and spoke at St. Olaf College

[76:30]in the basketball gym one year.

[76:31]- Yeah. - He did, correct.

[76:32]- Aaron was a big, Aaron was right there.

[76:34]He was, he was--

[76:35]- All right, what do you guys think?

[76:35]Over under .5 number of dicks

[76:38]Newt Gingrich sucked in his life?

[76:40]I'm taking the over.

[76:42]- I'll tell you what.

[76:42]It'd be like, you know what it'd be like?

[76:44]- What?

[76:45]- Your jack-o'-lantern's done for Halloween,

[76:46]and you're like, "Well, it's time to face-luck this thing."

[76:47]- All right, so Rob's taking the over.

[76:48]Russell, what do you got?

[76:49]- It's just time to face-luck my jack-o'-lantern.

[76:53]- Matt, over under?

[76:55]- Just to be contrarian, I'll go with under.

[76:57]- Okay.

[76:58]- All right.

[77:00]Okay, we'll have to have Ma as a guest

[77:01]and see what he says.

[77:03]Fuji-La, now this is how crazy this is.

[77:05]This is the first album out.

[77:06]This is the first single off this album.

[77:08]Is that insane?

[77:09]Like, you hear this, right?

[77:12]And it's fine.

[77:14]But you think this should be out as a single

[77:16]over "Ready or Not"?

[77:17]- I have, I have a question.

[77:19]- I have a question for Aaron on this one.

[77:21]- Yeah.

[77:21]- I hear Wu-Tang here.

[77:22]- Yes.

[77:23]- You hear Wu-Tang?

[77:24]- Yes, no, 100%.

[77:25]I, that's exactly where I was going with it,

[77:28]is that I think they put this out first

[77:29]because this is where Praz is doing

[77:31]his Method Man impression.

[77:32]I think, I think they bit Wu-Tang really hard

[77:34]on a lot of this album.

[77:35]So, Russell, you're 100% right.

[77:37]- I mean, Russell, they have like a kung-fu type skit

[77:40]at some point.

[77:41]I mean, it's so.

[77:42]- Yeah.

[77:42]- So, which one came first?

[77:44]- Wu-Tang was first.

[77:46]- Way before, yeah, yeah.

[77:47]- Well, if these guys are doing Wu-Tang here,

[77:49]they're doing it pretty well.

[77:50]I enjoyed it.

[77:51]- Yeah.

[77:52]- They're all, and these guys,

[77:53]these guys are all from New Jersey, right?

[77:54]I mean, so it's not like, I mean,

[77:55]they're in the same general vicinity

[77:58]of where Wu-Tang grew up, so.

[78:01]- Totally.

[78:02]- I think you're right though, Russell.

[78:03]I think, I think Fuji Law is definitely indebted to Wu-Tang.

[78:06]- Next, that was my favorite song in the,

[78:09]I'm familiar with the Fugees.

[78:11]I know some of their songs, but I'm more of a,

[78:13]hey, did it, was it one of the three songs

[78:14]on my Winamp player from when I was younger?

[78:16]- Yeah.

[78:17]- Fuji Law was the one that I didn't really

[78:19]know very well that I really enjoyed.

[78:21]That was my favorite song that I wasn't expecting

[78:23]to enjoy that I liked.

[78:24]- Well, maybe, maybe that was the right choice

[78:26]for a single then.

[78:26]Maybe I'm wrong.

[78:28]- Could I be wrong?

[78:29]- No.

[78:30]All right, Family Business.

[78:32]♪ Well, I was born nothing is promised ♪

[78:36]♪ My life is filled with lessons ♪

[78:37]- I don't know who this is.

[78:38]He says he's a producer, right?

[78:39]So is this John Forte or somebody?

[78:41]I don't actually know who's rapping on here.

[78:43]This is where the album gets a little bloated to me.

[78:47]Like, this might be a skipper.

[78:49]- Especially coming right before it goes back.

[78:51]- You would, you would track this one.

[78:53]- I would track this one.

[78:55]- So, next up, of course, is "Killing Me Softly".

[78:58]♪ Strumming my pain with his fingers ♪

[79:00]- A basic cover of the Roberta Flack song.

[79:05]♪ Sending my life with his words ♪

[79:09]♪ Killing me softly ♪

[79:11]- Did you ever hear what this song

[79:12]was originally written about by Roberta Flack?

[79:15]- No.

[79:16]- It was inspired by,

[79:17]the writer was actually this Lieberman.

[79:19]They heard a song of "Empty Chairs" by Don McLean

[79:24]and said, "Oh, this is killing me softly with my finger."

[79:27]If I went to a Don McLean concert

[79:29]and he played any other song beside "American Pie",

[79:31]I would have no idea.

[79:32]I'd be like, "What is this? What is this?"

[79:36]But that's literally what this song is about,

[79:38]is somebody's reaction to the other Don McLean song.

[79:41]- What song do you guys like better,

[79:43]that or "Ready or Not"?

[79:48]- If you have one on a desert island

[79:50]for the rest of your life, which song do you pick?

[79:52]- I think "Killing Me Softly".

[79:54]- I feel like I've heard, now,

[79:56]I've heard "Killing Me Softly" by the Fugees

[79:59]so much in my life that I'd be okay not hearing it

[80:04]or picking, I'd pick the other one over that one.

[80:07]- You're taking "Ready or Not"?

[80:09]- Yeah.

[80:09]- How about you, Aaron?

[80:11]You only get one.

[80:12]- I would have to take "Ready or Not"

[80:13]because any song where Lauryn Hill's singing

[80:15]and rapping on the same track, that's the one I would listen to.

[80:18]Over and over.

[80:19]- But guys, I mean, have you ever heard anybody say one time

[80:23]and that you can't repeat it?

[80:24]- I don't like this question.

[80:25]I don't like having to choose.

[80:26]I'll be honest, I don't want to have to choose,

[80:28]but I would choose "Ready or Not".

[80:30]- Yeah.

[80:30]Aaron would be like, "Oh my God, I only have one song here."

[80:33]Well, time to go make that rope that he made in the...

[80:36]- Oh no.

[80:37]- But this is the point where some of these songs

[80:42]are such killers, those two like really jump out.

[80:44]- Yeah.

[80:45]- It's kind of hard to say this camp shouldn't be higher

[80:46]in the list, right?

[80:47]If you've got two songs,

[80:48]that are absolute crushers like that, don't you think?

[80:51]- That's the hard part about it though,

[80:52]is that I don't think the whole album holds up, right?

[80:56]I don't know, that's the hard thing for me.

[80:58]- Well, I think, let's listen to the rest of this album

[81:00]before we start praising it too much.

[81:02]The score.

[81:03]Here we have "Pros".

[81:06]- It's like "The Chronic" to me,

[81:08]where it's like, "Oh, the best stuff on here is so great."

[81:11]And then when you really listen to the whole thing,

[81:13]you're just like, "Well, now they're sampling themselves."

[81:17]But we got to...

[81:18]- This is the only "Pros" we're getting here on the podcast.

[81:21]- So is this "Pros", that's what's the Wu-Tang,

[81:22]he's impersonating Method Man,

[81:24]or that's why you're Wu-Tang there?

[81:25]- I think he's, 'cause he does the Method Man,

[81:28]he does that breath thing that Meth does.

[81:31]And then to me, it's that same...

[81:32]- Rob, what song was that?

[81:33]- ♪ Who, ha, who, ha, who, ha ♪

[81:36]Which you guys know, when I hear that,

[81:37]all I hear in my head is, "Who, ha, who, ha."

[81:39]- Oh, I'll give it to you.

[81:40]- Yes, no trivia.

[81:42]We're like cocaine straight from Bolivia.

[81:44]Yeah.

[81:45]♪ Doopity doo ♪

[81:46]- That was, Matt, that was...

[81:48]- That was in the middle of the album,

[81:49]so it was kind of a mid-titular track.

[81:52]It was right in the middle there.

[81:53]- Oh, there you go.

[81:54]- Yeah, it was right there.

[81:54]Aaron, next up, we have a song that's smokin'.

[81:58]The Mask.

[82:00]♪ M to the A to the S to the K ♪

[82:04]♪ Put the mask on the face ♪

[82:06]- I do love their voices together.

[82:07]God, they sound good.

[82:08]- This bass actually,

[82:09]like, this bass kind of reminds me of Space Hawk.

[82:11]♪ Walk the street and camouflage my identity ♪

[82:13]- I would say...

[82:14]This album has major college vibes.

[82:18]If you can pull it off, you got to be able to pull it off.

[82:21]It would be tough, I think,

[82:22]for me to be constantly playing this and pull it off.

[82:25]Next up, Cowboys.

[82:27]- Is there a sly sample in here?

[82:32]Do they sample the yodeling, or am I imagining that?

[82:35]- I don't know.

[82:36]I read they sampled The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.

[82:39]- Oh, shit, okay.

[82:40]- I also read, Aaron, maybe you or Matt

[82:45]know something about this.

[82:46]I read this song started a feud

[82:48]with Tupac.

[82:48]Do you guys know anything about that?

[82:50]- No, I don't know.

[82:52]But I mean, Tupac had New Jersey roots too,

[82:54]'cause the Outlaws were from New Jersey.

[82:55]So, I mean, Tupac had beef with everybody

[82:58]at certain points in his career.

[82:59]- Next up, No Woman, No Cry.

[83:01]I thought this was interesting,

[83:04]that Bob Marley has written the song,

[83:07]but gave the songwriting credits

[83:08]to a guy named Vincent Ford,

[83:10]who ran a soup kitchen in Kingston, Jamaica.

[83:13]So every time this song blows up,

[83:16]the soup kitchen gets tons of money.

[83:17]♪ The crookedness ♪

[83:19]- That's kinda cool.

[83:20]- I think I like this version better than the original.

[83:22]Does that make me a bad person?

[83:24]- Yep.

[83:25]- Yeah.

[83:26]- 100%.

[83:26]- You know what this is?

[83:28]- No, I like, you know,

[83:29]I like how they changed the lyrics, right?

[83:31]You know, to make it fit where they came from,

[83:33]stuff like that.

[83:34]- This song has a better tempo.

[83:37]- Yeah, it's got a little more kick to it.

[83:39]- The Bob Marley version is incredibly slow

[83:42]when you actually listen to it.

[83:43]It's like, it's a real dragger.

[83:45]It's a great song, but it's a slow one.

[83:47]Next up, we have probably my favorite song on the album,

[83:50]Manifest Out Probe.

[83:51]♪ I used to go to church ♪

[83:52]- No, I said nobody ever.

[83:54]- Oh, have we heard these drums yet on this album?

[83:57]- All right.

[84:01]Listen, guys, that is us listening to the score

[84:04]by the Fugees.

[84:05]And basically reliving my, like, me being 16.

[84:09]I mean, that's kinda what I like, totally what it is.

[84:12]- Like, I never owned this one on CD

[84:14]because everyone else I knew had the CD in their car, right?

[84:16]Like, you just knew something.

[84:17]You knew somebody who had the score.

[84:19]It was on somewhere, wherever you went.

[84:21]- Well, listen, we don't have time to talk

[84:23]about all these people getting in your car, Aaron.

[84:25]I can see Aaron being a car person who's like,

[84:27]"Hey, do you wanna hang out?

[84:28]Let's get in my car."

[84:29]And then he drives way far away,

[84:30]so he has to be with you for an extra hour,

[84:32]just like the people over at Matt's place.

[84:34]You know what I mean?

[84:35]- I just enjoy the drive, yeah.

[84:37]I'm just like, "We'll just drive out to Grimes

[84:38]or Adele or whatever."

[84:39]- I started the rating system during that stupid story,

[84:42]and now I have to keep it in.

[84:44]- Perry, you can drive to Perry if you want, whatever.

[84:47]- Nevada.

[84:48]There's all kinds of places we could go.

[84:49]- Nevada.

[84:50]- Just listen to the score.

[84:51]Maybe "Vitalogy" on the way home.

[84:52]- Oh my God, so good.

[84:53]- Might even get the "Rent" soundtrack

[84:55]if we really like vibing.

[84:57]- Listen up, okay?

[84:58]Is this album, the score at 135,

[85:02]is this perfectly placed?

[85:04]Okay, now listen, this is the third best-selling album.

[85:07]Does it deserve to be all the way up to 135 on our list?

[85:11]And it makes me kind of think about,

[85:12]is this like Girl Scout cookies, right?

[85:14]Is this the...

[85:17]Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

[85:20]Is this the Thin Mint of Girl Scout cookies?

[85:23]It's absolutely perfect here.

[85:25]You couldn't get any better, okay?

[85:27]Give me a couple of dildos of those Thin Mints.

[85:29]I love it.

[85:30]Can't, I mean, can you imagine,

[85:31]just right now, imagine eating one Thin Mint.

[85:34]You can't do it.

[85:34]It's a scientific impossibility.

[85:36]You have to hammer that down

[85:37]until you feel sick and you hate yourself.

[85:39]That's when you know you've eaten enough Thin Mints.

[85:41]This is perfect at 135, rolling well-toned.

[85:44]Is this album too high up on the list?

[85:47]Like Samoas, okay?

[85:48]Samoas should not ever be talked about as a good cookie.

[85:51]People who think it's good, are this,

[85:53]they like coconut and like raisins and cookies?

[85:55]Get out of here, don't eat it.

[85:57]- Raisins?

[85:57]- It's way too high up on the list.

[85:59]This album is a rolling groan, rolling groan, okay?

[86:03]Just like Samoas, we all agree it's a rolling groan.

[86:06]Or should this album be higher up on the list?

[86:09]Like sneaky favorite tagalongs, okay?

[86:11]The peanut butter cookies that everybody likes,

[86:14]except you buy a box and there's only like 10 in there.

[86:16]Not nearly as many as a whole sleeve of Thin Mints, okay?

[86:20]That would be a rolling boned.

[86:21]It should have been higher up on the list.

[86:22]What do you think, rolling well-toned, rolling boned,

[86:24]or rolling groan?

[86:26]Russell, what do you think?

[86:27]- I'm gonna say this is about a magnum

[86:29]full of Lemonade Girl Scout cookies,

[86:31]which in my world I'll say is,

[86:33]I'm gonna say it's a slight rolling boned.

[86:35]I think it should be a little higher on the list.

[86:37]I find it hard to believe we're gonna hear

[86:39]too many albums after this that are gonna have two songs

[86:42]that crush more than "Ready or Not" and "Killin' Me Softly."

[86:45]So I'm gonna say this.

[86:46]I'm gonna say because the strong songs on the album

[86:49]carry it through, I'm gonna say it's a slight rolling boned.

[86:51]I think it should be a little higher on the list.

[86:53]- Matt, what do you think?

[86:54]Rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan?

[86:57]- I think it's rolling boned.

[86:59]I think it should be way higher,

[87:00]but I think that absolutely has 90% to do with

[87:05]how old I was, where I was when this album came out,

[87:08]and what I remember from growing up.

[87:11]So is there a few that drag?

[87:14]Yes.

[87:15]Is every song

[87:16]that's really good in this song have a huge influence

[87:19]from the sample that it was taken from?

[87:22]Yes, it's kind of weird.

[87:24]You know, if you really look at the big hits,

[87:26]they're all huge samples or remakes,

[87:28]however you want to say it.

[87:30]So yeah, I think I love this album.

[87:32]I still listen to this album.

[87:34]I listen to Lauryn Hill.

[87:36]I don't know if you guys heard,

[87:37]but I went to a Lauryn Hill concert once.

[87:39]- You did, yep.

[87:40]- And it was like the top three ever.

[87:42]I don't know if you guys heard that.

[87:43]Have you heard me say that before?

[87:44]And so I love everything.

[87:46]Lauryn Hill, I think she's great.

[87:49]So I think this is rolling boned.

[87:51]- Aaron, what do you think?

[87:53]Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan?

[87:55]And again, remember,

[87:56]you're trying to guess what I'm going to say.

[87:58]So try to be funny and creative.

[88:00]- 100% right, Lauryn Hill,

[88:03]one of the singular talents in music history.

[88:06]Those moments when Lauryn and Wyclef

[88:08]really got it right, unbeatable.

[88:11]I find it hard to listen to this album now.

[88:13]It feels melancholy to me

[88:14]because I know that Lauryn and Wyclef

[88:16]eventually had this falling out.

[88:17]That feels sad to me.

[88:19]And I think the highs are as high as highs get

[88:24]when it comes to hip hop.

[88:25]But I don't know if it's better than some of the things

[88:29]we haven't heard from Tribe or De La Soul,

[88:32]or even The Roots.

[88:33]I think about The Roots,

[88:34]although none of those have Lauryn Hill.

[88:35]So she's the X factor, if you will, in all this.

[88:38]But I do think it's better

[88:40]than some of the stuff we've heard.

[88:42]So I'm going to split the difference

[88:45]and call it a rolling well-toned.

[88:46]with where it's at.

[88:47]- All right.

[88:48]So listen, unfortunately, you guys are incorrect

[88:50]because this is the first album ever,

[88:52]just like there's three members of the group.

[88:54]And we remember all of their names,

[88:56]Lauryn Hill, Wyclef, the rest.

[88:58]Okay?

[88:59]I have three different ratings for this.

[89:03]This, first of all,

[89:04]is a rolling hey-shown elucidation, okay?

[89:07]I think this album, more than anything,

[89:10]made me understand Haiti

[89:11]and what was going on with Haiti.

[89:13]And when Wyclef talked, you learned a lot about Haiti.

[89:15]Like it was just this,

[89:17]I remember like learning a ton about Haiti

[89:19]because of the influence of this album.

[89:22]And it also gets a rolling phone, okay?

[89:25]Because remember when Haiti had a giant earthquake,

[89:29]Haiti, Wyclef set up a telethon and raised millions.

[89:33]Do you guys remember that?

[89:34]For the telethon, like music?

[89:36]Raised millions and millions of dollars,

[89:37]huge acts, big deal.

[89:39]And unfortunately it also gets a rolling deception

[89:42]because it turned out later

[89:43]that Wyclef kept almost every dollar left.

[89:45]He kept a dollar of that for himself

[89:47]and never gave it to anybody.

[89:48]So that's a fun way to end this review of the album

[89:51]and definitely not a big bummer

[89:52]as robbers want to do sometimes.

[89:55]Next up, okay?

[89:57]So it's unfortunate you guys didn't guess those three,

[89:58]which again, I wrote two weeks ago,

[90:00]seemed to be a very cool way to end a comedy podcast.

[90:03]A quote unquote comedy podcast is a major fraud.

[90:07]- He can't help himself.

[90:09]- Yep.

[90:10]Next up, guys, the album that has America and Britain arguing

[90:14]about how to spell color.

[90:15]It's "With or Without You."

[90:18]It's the Joshua Tree by U2.

[90:19]- Oh, interesting.

[90:20]♪ When you start to hear about the greatest albums of all time ♪

[90:23]- That's good, that's a good joke, that's a good joke.

[90:25]- That's pretty good.

[90:26]- Matt's going to be back talking about,

[90:28]what's his name again, Matt?

[90:29]- Who's that?

[90:32]- The guitar player for U2.

[90:33]♪ When they get off track ♪

[90:34]- Oh, the mic?

[90:36]- Better get ready for next week.

[90:37]- Randy, Randy something.

[90:39]Randy Jones or something like that.

[90:41]- Leaping Randy Poffo.

[90:43]- Ooh, Elizabeth.

[90:45]I ate four boxes of green Thin Mints.

[90:49]Ooh, I can feel it way down.

[90:52]Feels like it's blocking up blood vessels in my brain.

[90:56]Oh, baby, I better go out and drive my Jeep.

[90:59]See if this air clears my head at all.

[91:01]Why don't you come with me, Elizabeth?

[91:03]- I've got eight dildos of Thin Mints down,

[91:06]Miss Elizabeth.

[91:07]- Ah!

[91:08]- And the cream always rises to the top.

[91:11]Ooh, yeah.

[91:13]- Rob, you better,

[91:15]you better get that diamond cutter

[91:16]to get the macho man out of the, out of that tree.

[91:19]- When you said rolling phone,

[91:22]I thought you were gonna call Aaron's roommate again.

[91:24]- Oh.

[91:25]- David, David is it.

[91:30]- David.

[91:30]- I like how, I like how our song this week was like,

[91:35]hey guys, we're gonna try and do different jokes.

[91:37]And then literally we ended the same way as last week.

[91:39]'Cause I thought it was funny.

[91:41]Whoops.

[91:45]- Yeah.