Elvis Costello: This Years Model (1978)

[00:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine.

[00:05]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast.

[00:10]We are far from experts.

[00:12]We promise to do almost no research.

[00:14]All opinions are our own, unless you disagree.

[00:17]Please sit back and enjoy.

[00:18]Beck did it better.

[00:19]We are all the way up to album 121 and all the way back from 1978.

[00:27]This is Elvis.

[00:28]What?

[00:29]Costello.

[00:30]No.

[00:31]This year's model.

[00:31]Yeah.

[00:32]I knew you were thinking about that.

[00:34]That's the Elvis you were thinking about.

[00:35]I'll tell you what.

[00:36]I went and saw that Elvis movie.

[00:37]Cannot tell you how disappointed I was.

[00:39]I was the same way.

[00:41]I haven't seen it yet.

[00:42]I watched it on the plane and I only got through half of it.

[00:46]I'm like, eh, this can.

[00:47]No, no, no, no.

[00:48]I mean, I thought it was about Elvis Costello.

[00:49]I was like, it's got to be about Elvis Costello, right?

[00:52]Elvis Costello, Baz Luhrmann joint.

[00:54]I'm in.

[00:55]I kept waiting.

[00:56]I kept waiting for Elvis Costello to show up.

[00:58]I was like, yeah, okay, let's get rid of these.

[00:59]Guys, we were talking so much.

[01:00]My God, they're playing so much Elvis Presley music.

[01:03]I don't care about that.

[01:04]And then I stood up in the theater and I go, guys, this is about Elvis Presley.

[01:08]And nobody was there.

[01:10]Of course, the movie did not do well.

[01:11]So, um, listen, listen, I actually did watch that movie with Jenny through three different

[01:18]sittings, of course, because we can only watch things in like 20 minute chunks.

[01:21]And about halfway through the movie, she goes, I think that's Tom Hanks.

[01:24]I was like, oh, you mean the main character?

[01:29]Who's playing the Colonel?

[01:31]Yes, I would say that is Tom Hanks.

[01:32]I definitely would say that.

[01:33]How could she have known that it was Tom Hanks in that movie?

[01:36]Where would she have found such information?

[01:37]Well, I didn't want to say this, but she said, I thought he was on that island because we

[01:40]had watched part of Castaway and not finished it.

[01:42]So she thought he was still there.

[01:44]Oh, so spoiler alert.

[01:46]She didn't know that he got off.

[01:47]Yeah.

[01:47]And to be fair, the title is just Castaway.

[01:50]It's not like Castaway and come back.

[01:52]You know what I mean?

[01:52]Yeah, right.

[01:53]He's probably stuck.

[01:54]Worst part of that movie is when he gets back and you're like, oh, this is just a normal

[01:57]life now.

[01:57]And it's like, oh, my wife left him.

[01:59]Like, oh, who cares?

[02:00]I want to see this guy try to fuck a volleyball on the island or whatever the movie was.

[02:04]I kind of made it part of it.

[02:05]I fell asleep.

[02:05]I think I had a fever dream.

[02:07]Isn't Baz Luhrmann the same guy who did Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen?

[02:10]Why would anyone think that guy's capable of making a good movie?

[02:13]I can't believe.

[02:15]Well, and remember, always wear sunscreen.

[02:18]My favorite story about Baz Luhrmann, of course, is that when he tried to tackle Bo Jackson

[02:23]and was totally run over.

[02:24]Like, that was crazy to me.

[02:26]Trucked.

[02:26]I mean, you did not see that coming.

[02:29]And then he got this whole other career, which I think is great.

[02:31]Listen, we're talking about Elvis Costello's this year's model.

[02:34]It's such a niche joke, but I know we have listeners who will get it.

[02:36]Manny's going to love that one in the shower.

[02:38]But of course, this year's model is a B-17 bomber that's covered in rubber cement because

[02:44]your mom bought it for you and you tried to build it and you fucked it up almost immediately.

[02:47]That's too real.

[02:48]Too real.

[02:49]That's too real.

[02:50]It's too close to home.

[02:51]But because your mom bought it and you built it, it stayed in your room for your entire

[02:55]childhood.

[02:55]And so every morning you woke up and looked at this thing that you built that was totally

[02:58]fucked up beyond repair.

[02:59]And it reminds you what a failure you are.

[03:01]But it's an interesting time to think of a time where you just had a store that just

[03:05]sold models.

[03:06]You know what I mean?

[03:07]Like, hey, what does this store sell?

[03:08]Models.

[03:09]Oh, it's just a store that exists?

[03:11]Like, do they sell enough models to make?

[03:12]Like, how much is that guy working?

[03:14]They're getting paid.

[03:15]Or he's like, oh yeah, this is a Porsche.

[03:16]I mean, it's-

[03:16]That's like only the gift shop at the Air Museum where you can actually buy a model

[03:19]in a store.

[03:20]Yeah.

[03:20]No, that's the thing, though, is that sometimes I think like, should my kids be building models

[03:24]to have the same child that I had?

[03:26]And then I'm like, no, absolutely not.

[03:28]Models are not for kids.

[03:29]They're fucking hard to build.

[03:30]They were almost impossible.

[03:31]You know what I mean?

[03:32]Like, they just made me feel like shit every time.

[03:34]Matt, you seem like you maybe were a model guy.

[03:36]Were you a model guy?

[03:37]Did you build models?

[03:37]I don't know.

[03:39]I know we used to make rockets, right?

[03:42]So you can go up to the park and set them off and watch them explode and float into

[03:46]the neighbor's yard and stuff like that.

[03:48]But, you know, that's about as far as I got.

[03:51]That's some Richfield shit right there.

[03:54]The parachute comes out and you're just like, well, that thing's fucking gone.

[03:56]I have no idea where that thing went.

[03:57]That was fun, Dad.

[03:59]Thanks a lot.

[03:59]That's sitting on 62 right now.

[04:02]Oops.

[04:02]Yeah, exactly.

[04:03]Listen, let's get right into it.

[04:06]Let's get it.

[04:07]Guys, we don't have any more time to waste.

[04:09]We have to get into this, okay?

[04:10]So let's talk about what we're going to talk about, which is, of course, Elvis Costello.

[04:15]Now, Elvis Costello was famous for being played on the radio.

[04:17]Now, of course, my favorite radio station is K-Rob.

[04:20]And sometimes I like to just turn it on and see what's there.

[04:22]Do you ever turn it on and it's just commercials?

[04:24]Because isn't that the worst?

[04:25]Like when you just want to hear some music and you get to a radio station,

[04:29]and then it's just commercials for like four minutes.

[04:31]That's the worst.

[04:31]I guess they all got to eat, but damn.

[04:33]When I watch YouTube now without an ad blocker on and there's commercials,

[04:37]I'm like, what?

[04:37]I'm like, who lives like this?

[04:39]This shit's for the birds.

[04:41]I do not like it at all.

[04:42]Or like watching a sporting event and the commercials come on,

[04:44]you're like, what?

[04:45]What is going on?

[04:46]Of course, all the commercials I see are in Russian due to the streams I watch.

[04:49]It's kind of like when you want to listen to a music podcast

[04:52]and then the next hour and a half happens, right?

[04:54]Yeah, well, exactly.

[04:56]Listen, I had some thoughts about models I had to get out.

[04:59]All right, here we go.

[05:00]Let's turn on K-Rob, K-R-O-B.

[05:02]What's up, everybody?

[05:03]Welcome to K-Rob, K-R-O-B.

[05:06]Now, the other week I tried to do something nice

[05:08]and shout out some of our listeners.

[05:09]And our listeners were a real pain in the ass about it.

[05:12]In fact, they texted Matt that I forgot some of them.

[05:14]So you inspired me to make a song.

[05:17]And if I forgot you, please call and leave a voicemail.

[05:20]Don't just call Matt.

[05:21]Oh, yeah.

[05:22]I made a song about the listeners.

[05:24]There were some omissions there.

[05:26]People were left off the list.

[05:28]Texting Matt.

[05:29]And they were pissed.

[05:30]So I wrote this song to say I am kind of sorry.

[05:33]Here's a song that's for all the dumb shits I ignored.

[05:37]I'll make it up to all the food freaks who I forgot.

[05:41]Please don't be mad at me.

[05:44]So we start with Aaron, my sister Suzanne.

[05:54]Then there is Melissa, complimentary moviegoer.

[05:57]Then there is replacement.

[05:59]And Joe and Steve from Ola made it up.

[06:02]For if I have previous failed, I'll call up and leave us a voicemail.

[06:08]When you want to hear about the crazy sounds of all time.

[06:12]I had a choice to make there.

[06:13]I could either do one more verse, but I did not think of enough people.

[06:17]I could not think of enough listeners to do one more verse.

[06:19]So I had to close it.

[06:20]Well, don't worry, Rob.

[06:21]I'll get a text about it.

[06:22]And I'll tell you who you missed and you can do another song.

[06:24]Did you get Matt's mother-in-law?

[06:26]You bet.

[06:26]She was on the first one.

[06:29]She was on the first one.

[06:30]Jack.

[06:30]Beck did it better.

[06:33]Welcome to Beck did it better.

[06:35]We are talking about Elvis Costello.

[06:36]And I have an announcement to make before we start.

[06:38]Number one, I was going to announce that we're going to try to make this podcast an hour and 15 minutes.

[06:42]That is out the window.

[06:43]We're done with that.

[06:44]After this great model talk we had earlier.

[06:45]Okay.

[06:46]If it didn't get edited out, that's we talked a lot about models and it was awesome.

[06:50]And I would say it was like eight to one scale.

[06:53]How I thought that would come together.

[06:55]I thought that would come together when I said it really didn't.

[06:58]I mean,

[06:59]eight to one scale.

[06:59]That sounds like my scale in the,

[07:01]Oh no,

[07:01]I thought that would come together too.

[07:03]And it totally didn't.

[07:03]Listen,

[07:04]we are talking about Elvis Costello this year's model.

[07:06]And I have got three guys here.

[07:09]Okay.

[07:10]Who are excited to talk about Elvis Costello.

[07:13]They love it.

[07:14]Starting with Russell in Minnesota.

[07:16]Russell,

[07:16]how are you doing?

[07:16]Robbie?

[07:17]We're talking about models.

[07:18]I need some expert advice.

[07:19]This blow up doll.

[07:20]I ordered.

[07:21]Should I pump it up when I really don't need it or wait to pump it up when I really need to feel it?

[07:25]I,

[07:28]that's,

[07:28]uh,

[07:29]this is true.

[07:29]The truth though,

[07:30]right?

[07:30]Like if you were having sex with a blow up doll,

[07:32]you would probably,

[07:34]it's like riding a bike,

[07:35]right?

[07:35]You got to pump it up right before you go out there.

[07:37]I don't think it just sits around bumped up all day.

[07:39]Does it?

[07:40]I mean,

[07:40]you got to check on the pressure before you get started.

[07:43]I was going to say,

[07:43]do you think it's kind of like footballs or like,

[07:45]you know,

[07:45]some people like it a little more firm.

[07:47]Some like a little soft.

[07:48]I mean,

[07:49]you think it's like a,

[07:50]some people throw it in the dryer.

[07:51]So they,

[07:51]you know what I mean?

[07:53]That's what Faudre Vays used to do.

[07:54]He used to throw in the dryer and get it all.

[07:56]And then Tom Brady's got his own special size and he needs it.

[07:59]It's not that different from anybody else.

[08:00]That's the point my marriage is at.

[08:01]It's a deflated football situation.

[08:02]Some people put some tacky stuff on it to get a little more grip.

[08:05]Other people like it a little more smooth.

[08:06]The problem is me and my doll get deflated when it gets cold out.

[08:11]Uh,

[08:12]I have also got Matt in Minneapolis.

[08:13]Matt,

[08:14]how are you doing today?

[08:14]Uh,

[08:15]good.

[08:15]That's that.

[08:16]I don't want to chitter chat.

[08:17]Let's just get on with the show.

[08:18]Someone's been reading some lyrics.

[08:20]Doing the bit.

[08:21]I love it.

[08:21]Guy who promised he would not listen to this album.

[08:23]And I've got Aaron out in California.

[08:24]Now,

[08:25]Aaron,

[08:26]a lot of times people,

[08:27]it's kind of funny because I was thinking the other day,

[08:29]you know,

[08:30]Lance,

[08:30]Lance,

[08:31]the name,

[08:31]it's just,

[08:32]you don't hear that name anymore very much,

[08:34]right?

[08:34]Like you don't hear the name Lance yet in medieval times,

[08:37]people were named Lance a lot.

[08:39]Aaron,

[08:40]how are you doing?

[08:40]Rob,

[08:41]all you give me is lip service.

[08:43]Let's talk about Elvis Costello and the attractions.

[08:45]Wow.

[08:46]Just lyrics getting thrown left and right right now.

[08:49]So good.

[08:50]Uh,

[08:50]listen,

[08:50]let's get right into the voicemail.

[08:52]We got a voicemail.

[08:54]We have a brave listener.

[08:55]Somebody took some time out of their own schedule to send us an email.

[09:02]Every time.

[09:04]It's very nice.

[09:05]It's very,

[09:06]very nice.

[09:06]I appreciate it.

[09:08]Dumb shit listeners.

[09:08]Listeners.

[09:09]Dumb,

[09:09]dumb,

[09:10]dumb,

[09:10]dumb,

[09:10]dumb,

[09:10]dumb,

[09:10]dumb,

[09:11]dumb,

[09:11]dumb shit listeners.

[09:12]Congratulations.

[09:15]You are the first and only podcast host to appear in my dreams.

[09:19]The other day I went outside to find you guys hanging around in my driveway.

[09:24]None of you introduced yourselves.

[09:25]But after waking up,

[09:26]I relied there had only been three of you there.

[09:29]You think you were above a cameo in my dreams are in.

[09:32]Fuck you.

[09:33]Oh,

[09:34]we were in this caller's dreams.

[09:37]All of us were outside this person's house hanging out in the driveway.

[09:40]Okay.

[09:41]As we want to do.

[09:42]Uh,

[09:43]and then they realized that we didn't speak to them,

[09:45]which does sound a lot like us actually,

[09:46]uh,

[09:47]has seen our fans,

[09:47]but they realized that Aaron,

[09:49]you were not in the dream.

[09:51]So what do you think about that?

[09:52]That you were not,

[09:53]you could not even show up in the,

[09:55]the listener's dream.

[09:56]I got a busy nighttime schedule,

[09:58]man.

[09:58]I got,

[09:58]I got things to do.

[09:59]I can't be just dropping in any,

[10:01]any old dreams.

[10:01]You got to get on a list.

[10:02]You got to call me first.

[10:04]This needs it.

[10:04]We got a schedule.

[10:05]If you need me in your subconscious,

[10:06]I,

[10:06]you know,

[10:07]I really appreciate when Aaron's wife at gmail.com calls in with a voicemails.

[10:12]It's so nice of her to call in and let us know.

[10:14]I didn't even think about it.

[10:18]It's very nice.

[10:18]Yeah.

[10:18]For some reason I'm wearing a gorilla mask.

[10:21]What?

[10:21]Uh,

[10:22]here's the thing.

[10:23]Did you guys ever,

[10:24]do you just,

[10:25]do you just assume that when somebody at work says,

[10:27]Oh,

[10:27]I had a dream about you,

[10:28]that it was a sex dream and they're just not telling you that part,

[10:30]right?

[10:31]Cause every time I have a dream about somebody at work,

[10:33]it's a sex dream,

[10:34]but you can't tell them that.

[10:36]Those are not the dreams that you tell.

[10:38]You mean like you don't,

[10:38]you don't tell anybody that you had,

[10:40]you had a dream about them and then just make it up.

[10:43]Like you were sitting in a driveway at a fire or something like that.

[10:46]And then my husband wasn't there.

[10:48]And so it was kind of fun because the three of you guys were there,

[10:51]but he was gone.

[10:51]So do you ever have like a fun dream at first where it's like,

[10:54]Oh,

[10:54]you know,

[10:55]we're like,

[10:55]we're riding unicorns through the sky.

[10:57]And then at the end,

[10:58]it's like,

[10:59]Oh,

[10:59]we're about to have sex.

[11:00]And then I wake up.

[11:01]Right.

[11:02]But you don't tell them that second part.

[11:03]You just tell them about the unicorn part.

[11:04]Am I the only one who has,

[11:05]I had a dream the other night where I got into a prank war with Clay

[11:08]Thompson of the golden state warriors.

[11:10]I don't know why.

[11:11]Wow.

[11:12]That's wonderful.

[11:12]What was one of the pranks you pulled on Clay Thompson?

[11:14]Well,

[11:15]for some reason I got feedback from Steph Curry that there was a prank

[11:18]war going on.

[11:19]And then,

[11:19]so I did something inappropriate and then they were living in like a

[11:22]dorm room,

[11:23]if you will.

[11:23]So they were like college age,

[11:24]but they weren't,

[11:25]they weren't college age.

[11:26]So I did something inappropriate to a dresser in his,

[11:29]a dresser in his dorm room.

[11:31]So it was a sex dream.

[11:32]See,

[11:33]I knew this was a sex dream,

[11:34]but he didn't want to bring it up.

[11:35]Oh,

[11:35]it was,

[11:36]I better not say we better move it.

[11:38]He's just slamming his balls in the drawer over and over.

[11:42]I love it.

[11:45]What?

[11:46]And he,

[11:47]he wakes up and the hair crimper by his bed is destroyed.

[11:50]Well,

[11:52]yeah,

[11:53]you know,

[11:53]it's,

[11:54]it's,

[11:54]it's the way it goes.

[11:55]Plus thinking of Russell with crimped hair is very funny to me.

[11:58]So listen,

[12:00]there's nothing more boring than hearing people talk about their dreams,

[12:02]but I have to admit,

[12:03]don't you think this caller probably it was a sex dream and they don't want

[12:06]to talk to us about it.

[12:07]No,

[12:08]I absolutely not.

[12:09]Because if anybody's going to have a sex dream about the four of us,

[12:12]Aaron's definitely going to be in that dream.

[12:14]So it's not Aaron.

[12:16]That's not in that dream.

[12:17]Can you imagine,

[12:18]can you imagine having a sex dream about this podcast and Aaron doesn't show

[12:21]up?

[12:21]Right.

[12:22]Yeah,

[12:22]exactly.

[12:23]So,

[12:23]so no,

[12:24]they definitely did not have,

[12:25]a sex dream.

[12:26]Oh,

[12:26]they just see me and it looks like a bird's nest with an egg in it.

[12:28]Like a red,

[12:29]a red hot egg.

[12:30]They're like,

[12:30]Oh,

[12:31]this is my dream.

[12:32]It's realistic.

[12:34]You know what I mean?

[12:37]Like,

[12:37]so it goes from gray to red hot.

[12:39]That's the transition.

[12:40]That's the,

[12:41]that's the thing.

[12:42]Maybe,

[12:43]maybe Aaron was just hiding out in the bushes and they hadn't seen him yet

[12:46]when they woke up.

[12:47]Yeah.

[12:47]Yeah.

[12:47]The dream hadn't finished yet.

[12:49]I was going to hop out from the bushes.

[12:51]This,

[12:52]this BC,

[12:52]this giant egg behind the bush.

[12:54]And I didn't know what it was.

[12:56]Listen.

[12:56]Okay.

[12:56]Thank you.

[12:57]I want to tell that caller right now.

[12:59]Thank you so much.

[13:00]You saved the show.

[13:01]Oh my God.

[13:02]Thank you for leaving such a good voicemail.

[13:03]Something we could talk about with dreams.

[13:04]And I have been informed that I have been in fact,

[13:07]too mean to the callers.

[13:08]And then it was a funny bit at episode 25.

[13:11]Okay.

[13:12]And it was a funny bit at 50 and it was a funny bit at 90.

[13:15]And at this point we are literally running out of callers.

[13:18]So I'm just going to tell you right now,

[13:19]please,

[13:19]please,

[13:19]please,

[13:20]please,

[13:20]all my little sweeties out there leave a voicemail.

[13:22]We're not always going to talk about Russ slamming his balls in a drawer

[13:25]because of your voicemail.

[13:27]Only if you're lucky.

[13:28]All right.

[13:29]So please,

[13:29]please,

[13:30]please call and leave a voicemail.

[13:31]It's 802-277-BECK.

[13:32]Does this mean I need to change my rolling going or not?

[13:35]I mean,

[13:39]if you're rolling going,

[13:39]it happens to be about slamming your balls in a drawer that we've reached

[13:43]the peak.

[13:43]We can't like,

[13:44]like if you,

[13:45]like if you're like rolling going,

[13:47]I was slamming my balls in a drawer.

[13:48]That's it.

[13:49]We can't go anymore.

[13:50]We finished.

[13:51]We're finished with number one 20.

[13:52]How would that even work?

[13:53]You'd have to be to the side of the,

[13:55]of the drawer somehow,

[13:55]right?

[13:56]Like,

[13:56]cause you couldn't be,

[13:57]I think you gotta be on the side.

[13:58]Yeah.

[13:59]Cause otherwise it'd be like,

[14:00]you're pulling like a ball on a string out,

[14:02]you know,

[14:02]and it would like fly up,

[14:03]you know what I mean?

[14:04]Like it wouldn't even get slammed in there.

[14:06]Really give you that sensation that you want.

[14:08]Like one of the lower drawers,

[14:10]you could stand on one leg and kind of lean over.

[14:13]I think stand at a lower drawer,

[14:16]stand on one leg and lean over.

[14:17]If it were like,

[14:18]if the drawer were like just around crotch height,

[14:20]and then I think you could kind of like pick one leg up,

[14:21]put it over the drawer and then slam.

[14:24]That's a really good point.

[14:25]I think at some point you just get a device to do it right.

[14:27]You know what I mean?

[14:28]It's like a toilet seat with two bricks and a string that you can cut the string

[14:33]and just see what happens.

[14:34]Like,

[14:34]I don't know.

[14:36]I'm,

[14:36]you know what guys,

[14:37]I'll get back to you.

[14:37]It's like,

[14:38]I got,

[14:38]I got an idea in my head.

[14:39]It's like one of those Rube Goldberg machines.

[14:40]Yes.

[14:41]Got to workshop it.

[14:42]Got to workshop it a little bit.

[14:43]Chicken crows,

[14:44]the candle blows out,

[14:45]a brick comes down,

[14:46]smashes my nuts.

[14:47]It's,

[14:47]you know,

[14:48]and then that causes the egg to be,

[14:52]okay,

[14:53]nevermind.

[14:53]Let's get into rolling going.

[14:55]Let's call that a Tuesday at Rob's house.

[14:58]Time to see what everybody's up to.

[15:00]Every Wednesday I go to work.

[15:01]Oh,

[15:02]my balls hurt so bad.

[15:03]You guys want to hear about this dream I had?

[15:04]Did you bike to work today,

[15:07]Rob?

[15:07]No,

[15:08]I couldn't.

[15:09]Oh,

[15:10]my legs hurt from squats and slamming my balls in my homemade device.

[15:14]The chicken kept crowing over and over and over.

[15:16]Rolling going.

[15:18]Rosie,

[15:18]how's it going with you?

[15:19]It's going good.

[15:20]Did you guys know that I went to Disneyland last weekend?

[15:23]Oh,

[15:24]I did.

[15:25]I went to Disneyland with my family.

[15:26]So I've got a lot of stories to tell.

[15:28]You and,

[15:28]you and Rosie's rife at gmail.com.

[15:31]You guys broke your wordle streak because you were having so much fun at

[15:34]Disneyland.

[15:35]So I'll be honest.

[15:37]She,

[15:38]she did forget to do the wordle.

[15:39]I did not.

[15:40]So I'm still working on the streak and she fell asleep that night and I

[15:43]almost woke her up like,

[15:44]Hey,

[15:44]you should do the wordle.

[15:45]And then I realized that probably wouldn't.

[15:46]Oh my God.

[15:47]Can you imagine somebody waking you up and being like,

[15:50]Hey,

[15:50]do the wordle.

[15:51]Remember when this was popular two years ago and we're still barely

[15:54]hanging on.

[15:54]It's like,

[15:54]yeah,

[15:55]well,

[15:55]it wouldn't be,

[15:55]it wouldn't be a good idea.

[15:56]I've never been to a 100 before.

[15:57]I'm trying to get to a hundred,

[15:58]but I got a lot to tell you.

[16:00]You call it when you wake Jetty up,

[16:01]you say,

[16:01]Hey,

[16:02]we need to do the wordle.

[16:03]Hey,

[16:03]let's do the wordle.

[16:04]Saturday morning early.

[16:06]Let's do the wordle.

[16:06]Let's do the reverse wordle.

[16:07]Go slam your balls in the closet.

[16:10]And then I'm like,

[16:12]how would that even work?

[16:13]How do I do that?

[16:14]I suppose bend over,

[16:16]stick the back in the closet.

[16:18]I'm okay.

[16:20]I'm going to make some drawings.

[16:21]I'll get back to you.

[16:21]Don't make me talk about that anymore.

[16:23]And please stop bringing that up.

[16:23]So the first thing to note is that we drove to Disneyland.

[16:26]So it's a six hour drive from Oakland to Anaheim.

[16:28]You guys,

[16:30]I drove all the way both ways.

[16:32]I drove 12 hours.

[16:34]Wow.

[16:35]That's a big world.

[16:37]That's a big shift in your guys' relationship.

[16:40]I was so excited to tell you guys that I did all the driving to Disney and back.

[16:43]How did you do that much?

[16:44]Six hours.

[16:46]Six hours.

[16:46]No problem.

[16:47]At this point,

[16:48]what is Aaron's wife at gmail.com doing?

[16:50]Like she should be chipping in.

[16:51]Now I'm kind of mad at her actually for not driving a little bit more.

[16:53]Do you guys know that like modern cars,

[16:56]like you don't even have to like,

[16:57]you don't actually have to be touching the steering wheel.

[17:00]It tells you to touch the steering wheel,

[17:01]but you can,

[17:01]you can take your hands off the steering wheel for long stretches on I-5.

[17:04]And then do you have the,

[17:05]the,

[17:06]the cruise control where it keeps you from a distance of the car in front of

[17:09]you?

[17:09]Yes.

[17:09]Yeah.

[17:10]Yeah.

[17:10]It's unbelievable.

[17:11]The car thinks that a safe following distance is much bigger than a human

[17:15]thinks is a safe following distance.

[17:17]I have,

[17:18]I have learned you can adjust that just so you know.

[17:20]So that was,

[17:23]that was the first thing.

[17:24]The second thing is Russell a week ago or two weeks ago,

[17:27]ask us about buying things for our kids.

[17:29]And I,

[17:30]I should have brought this out.

[17:31]Actually,

[17:32]when I went to Disneyland,

[17:33]I bought something for my kid that was for myself.

[17:36]And that was,

[17:37]we did a custom lightsaber.

[17:39]So Russell goes to Nashville and gets a custom cowboy hat.

[17:43]I go to Disneyland,

[17:44]I get a custom lightsaber.

[17:46]So I,

[17:46]we,

[17:47]we got,

[17:47]we booked the time to go to Savi's handmade lightsaber workshop.

[17:52]Wallace and I went in,

[17:53]my mom came in,

[17:53]my mom came out to meet us in Disneyland.

[17:56]She came with us.

[17:57]We got to go sneak in there with the,

[17:59]they're called the,

[18:00]the guard keepers or something.

[18:01]And they help you choose from different components.

[18:04]You get to customize your own lightsaber and then you get a,

[18:06]what color Kyber crystal did you pick?

[18:08]We picked blue.

[18:09]Okay.

[18:10]We chose blue and we went with the elemental nature theme.

[18:14]So that meant,

[18:14]cause then there was a little animal horn he wanted to put on the end of it.

[18:18]So broke the bank,

[18:19]went all out and buying myself a custom lightsaber souvenir from Disney.

[18:23]Let's go around the room and we're going to guess how much this custom

[18:26]lightsaber costs.

[18:27]And then you're going to tell us what the answer is.

[18:30]And it's going to expose whether or not you're a good parent right now.

[18:33]Okay.

[18:34]Cause I know there's a more expensive one.

[18:36]I know there's a less expensive one.

[18:37]I want to see how good of a parent you are.

[18:39]Okay.

[18:40]I am going to say right now that this lightsaber costs you $75.

[18:44]Matt Russell,

[18:46]what do you think?

[18:46]99 99.

[18:47]Ooh.

[18:48]Ooh.

[18:49]Russell thinks you're a better parent than I do.

[18:50]Matt,

[18:51]what do you think?

[18:51]How good of a parent is Aaron?

[18:53]There's some,

[18:53]I'm going to go 58.

[18:54]What a shitty dad.

[18:55]Rosie,

[18:56]how much did the lightsaber cost?

[18:58]I'm embarrassed to say it was now.

[19:02]Remember,

[19:03]it's also about the experience.

[19:04]Yeah.

[19:05]Two hundred and fifty dollars for the lightsaber for my five-year-old.

[19:11]Oh my God.

[19:13]I obsessed about it.

[19:15]I thought about it for two whole days.

[19:16]Like,

[19:16]cause I texted a friend.

[19:18]I was like,

[19:18]I sent him a picture of the Millennium Falcon.

[19:20]He was like,

[19:20]well,

[19:21]yo,

[19:21]if you're at the Millennium Falcon,

[19:22]are you building your own lights ever yet?

[19:23]And I was like,

[19:23]well,

[19:24]I don't know.

[19:24]Should I?

[19:24]He's like,

[19:25]yeah,

[19:25]definitely.

[19:25]So I was like,

[19:26]I got to build this lightsaber.

[19:28]So we,

[19:28]I thought about it the first day,

[19:30]thought about it all day,

[19:30]the second day.

[19:31]And I was like,

[19:32]no,

[19:32]I got to go back and build this lightsaber.

[19:33]So I bet Aaron hasn't spent $200 in educational materials for his son over his lifetime.

[19:38]definitely not.

[19:39]No,

[19:39]I mean,

[19:40]can you imagine leaving there and you give your lightsaber to your kid walking out?

[19:44]I mean,

[19:45]you just wouldn't give it to him,

[19:46]right?

[19:46]You'd be like,

[19:46]well,

[19:46]no,

[19:46]fuck.

[19:47]No,

[19:47]you don't get to hold it.

[19:48]He's $200.

[19:48]I did.

[19:49]Cause they give you a special carrying case.

[19:51]So he carried it.

[19:51]He was really sweet.

[19:52]He was so proud.

[19:53]He carried it all the way from the star Wars area down to the haunted mansion,

[19:57]held it on his back.

[19:58]He was so proud.

[19:59]And he even had friends over yesterday and they got the lightsaber out.

[20:02]And every time the kids like looked at all,

[20:04]like they weren't going to play with the lightsaber anymore.

[20:06]I'd like run in the other room and put it back in the sheet and put it in my closet.

[20:08]And then it was to come out and be like,

[20:11]Dan,

[20:11]where's my lightsaber?

[20:12]I'd be like,

[20:12]I thought you were done with it.

[20:13]I put it away.

[20:14]Does he aware?

[20:15]Is he at the age where he realizes like you need to take care of this?

[20:18]This is different than a dump truck.

[20:19]That you just slam around.

[20:20]No,

[20:22]please.

[20:22]Come on.

[20:23]He does.

[20:24]He does.

[20:25]He does.

[20:25]He's pretty,

[20:26]I mean,

[20:26]he'll still break it eventually,

[20:28]but he's been pretty careful with it so far up till now.

[20:30]just get ready to scream at it when he breaks it too.

[20:32]And then it's one of those great moments where you scream at your kid.

[20:35]And then later you're like,

[20:35]Oh God,

[20:36]I shouldn't have screamed at him,

[20:37]but it was $200.

[20:38]You got to think about it right now.

[20:40]Like how many hours has he played with it thus far?

[20:43]You got like a solid five hours.

[20:46]It's been at least an hour a day since we got home on Tuesday.

[20:49]So about six or seven hours so far.

[20:51]Okay.

[20:51]So you got to,

[20:52]you got to figure out what your,

[20:54]what a good limit is.

[20:55]Like it's 15 hours.

[20:56]Good is 20,

[20:57]you know,

[20:58]and anything after that is just,

[21:00]that's gravy,

[21:00]right?

[21:01]And you can't get mad if he at least gets to like 15 or 20 or whatever,

[21:04]whatever your number is.

[21:05]Maybe it's just double what he's got today.

[21:07]Kind of a thing.

[21:08]Cause you know,

[21:08]you've got,

[21:08]that happens with every single toy you get,

[21:11]whether it be,

[21:11]you know,

[21:12]Legos or a new hockey stick or something.

[21:15]Right.

[21:15]I mean,

[21:15]it's going to break eventually.

[21:16]And eventually you just have to be,

[21:18]it's kind of like accounting.

[21:19]Matt,

[21:19]you used depreciation to appreciate the value of that asset down.

[21:23]Yeah.

[21:23]So when he breaks it in 27 and a half years,

[21:25]or is it worth a dollar a year from now?

[21:28]Right.

[21:28]That's why Matt is loading up on his favorite Christmas gift.

[21:31]Bags of old hair.

[21:32]He's like,

[21:33]the value of this is insane.

[21:35]Oh,

[21:36]the kids can make beards.

[21:37]They can make wigs.

[21:38]And it's the,

[21:39]the,

[21:39]the price per hour of entertainment is great.

[21:41]They only play with it for five seconds.

[21:43]You can weave it into yarn and make your own sweater out of it.

[21:46]That's why I come to Matt for parenting advice.

[21:48]Do we have time for one more,

[21:49]Disneyland story?

[21:50]Can I tell them?

[21:50]Always.

[21:51]So we were in Disneyland Sunday and Monday of Thanksgiving weekend,

[21:55]and we were getting set to drive back on Tuesday.

[21:57]So we went out to the car Tuesday morning and I had to move the car.

[22:01]She told me the low pressure light was on for the tire.

[22:04]Okay.

[22:05]So we're going to drive to the gas station,

[22:07]put some air in the tire.

[22:08]So we go get to the gas station.

[22:10]We go in to find the key to get to the,

[22:12]to the air.

[22:12]And I looked down and it was telling us it was the right rear tire.

[22:15]And there is a screw sticking out of the right rear tire.

[22:18]So we're in Anaheim.

[22:19]We're planning to leave at 9 00 AM.

[22:21]Obviously that's not going to work,

[22:23]but we're still pretty close to the Disneyland hotel where we'd been staying.

[22:26]So,

[22:26]you know,

[22:27]Rob talks about like Rob has mentioned that like his vacation is when he like

[22:31]closes the door and gets out and walks around the car and like that.

[22:34]So you guys,

[22:35]this was Tuesday,

[22:37]November 29th.

[22:38]I'm leaving the hotel to drive to the tire shop at 10 AM Pacific time.

[22:44]The U S men's national team is starting their game against Iran at 11 AM

[22:48]Pacific time.

[22:49]I get to the tire shop at 10 30.

[22:51]I told the guy I got a tire that needs.

[22:54]So Anna Wallace stayed at downtown Disneyland.

[22:56]They're going to the Lego store.

[22:57]They're fine.

[22:58]Like they're going to buy some Legos.

[23:00]You need to build some Legos,

[23:01]get some lunch.

[23:02]I get to the tire shop.

[23:04]It's 10 45.

[23:04]The guy tells me like,

[23:05]we don't have that tire in stock.

[23:07]We're going to have to go get it.

[23:08]Like,

[23:08]you know,

[23:08]and so I'm going like,

[23:10]can you fix the tire?

[23:11]So now the game kicks off in 15 minutes and I got the game on at the tire shop.

[23:15]Yeah.

[23:16]Oh,

[23:16]really?

[23:16]Cause you said this is going to take 98 minutes,

[23:18]right?

[23:19]But,

[23:19]but it got even better.

[23:20]Cause the guy was like,

[23:20]well,

[23:21]we,

[23:21]I was like,

[23:22]okay,

[23:22]do I need to drive to this other tire shop and get the tire?

[23:24]What,

[23:25]like how long would it take?

[23:26]He's like,

[23:26]I think it's going to take right around two hours.

[23:28]This is a 10 45.

[23:29]The game's kicking off at 11.

[23:31]Did you put that screw in the tire?

[23:33]Did you go get a six pack at the gas station right next door?

[23:40]I looked outside and there was a dirty sports bar called two J's sports bar that,

[23:46]that it was like at the Howard Jackson motel.

[23:49]So I walked across the street to the sports bar.

[23:56]It was me,

[23:57]the bartender and two guys playing pull tabs.

[23:59]So we watched the first half.

[24:00]I saw Pulisic score.

[24:01]It was just unbelievable.

[24:03]It was like the most amazing.

[24:04]It was my little,

[24:05]is it true that you went into this bar?

[24:06]You're dressed just like Khomeini.

[24:08]I will not mention some of the language I heard in that bar regarding the

[24:15]Iranian team.

[24:15]We're not going to get into that.

[24:16]So I gotta,

[24:17]I gotta ask you,

[24:18]I gotta,

[24:19]I gotta ask you.

[24:19]Yeah.

[24:19]You got just a screw in your tire,

[24:22]which,

[24:22]you know,

[24:22]for like $13 at any hardware store,

[24:26]you can get like a patch,

[24:27]right?

[24:27]And you can just stick it in the little leather piece and blow it up and

[24:29]go.

[24:29]And keep in mind that's under 10% of a lightsaber.

[24:32]Yeah.

[24:33]Okay.

[24:35]Did they not ask if you wanted a patch or if you wanted a new tire or was

[24:39]it under warranty or like,

[24:40]cause it seems like you getting a new tire,

[24:43]you know,

[24:44]that's a good question,

[24:45]Matt.

[24:45]Now I don't know a lot.

[24:46]Maybe you would have known better than I,

[24:48]but they,

[24:49]they told me that it was in the sidewall and it was in so deep in the

[24:52]sidewall that it couldn't be patched.

[24:53]And I had to get a new tire.

[24:54]That's what they told me.

[24:55]So,

[24:56]I mean,

[24:56]these are the professionals I had to trust them.

[24:58]I had a person in college.

[24:59]Tell me that once too,

[25:00]it was too far in the sidewall.

[25:02]The tire did cost me less than the lightsaber.

[25:05]So the tire was actually a cheaper,

[25:07]assuming

[25:07]and I got to watch the game.

[25:11]So it was a perfect day.

[25:12]So you changed the tire,

[25:13]right?

[25:13]Like it was just screwed.

[25:14]Did you change the tire?

[25:15]No.

[25:16]Cause I was going to put the spare on,

[25:17]but I was like three,

[25:19]miles from the tire shop and the pressure tire pressure was at 20.

[25:22]So I was like,

[25:22]I think I can make,

[25:23]like I figured I was better off.

[25:25]Oh,

[25:26]I would have been,

[25:26]I would have made that whole,

[25:27]the five hours.

[25:28]I would have got that thing.

[25:29]Yeah.

[25:30]Okay,

[25:31]honey,

[25:32]we're on the freeway,

[25:32]but you need to get out.

[25:33]I bought this bicycle pump for $3.

[25:35]So that was a percent and a half of a lightsaber.

[25:38]They finished the tire in like the 89th minute of the game.

[25:42]And by that point,

[25:42]and it was texting me,

[25:43]it was like,

[25:43]the wheels are coming off.

[25:44]So I had to hop in the car and find the game on the radio and

[25:47]listen to the last nine minutes on the radio.

[25:48]It's,

[25:49]it's banished.

[25:49]I couldn't understand.

[25:50]I,

[25:51]I guarantee she was looking and seeing what time that score was.

[25:55]And she knew there was time left.

[25:57]Like that is,

[25:58]I guarantee it.

[25:59]She knew us was up one,

[26:01]nothing.

[26:02]And that they wouldn't do like a shitty defense where they were just

[26:05]trying to play this shell.

[26:06]And the wheels are falling off.

[26:07]And that I ran Iran was,

[26:10]you know,

[26:10]making a big push and had all of these chances.

[26:12]All she knew that it was,

[26:14]the wheels were falling off.

[26:15]Literally.

[26:15]The same thing happened to me today.

[26:17]Vikings are making a goal line.

[26:19]Stan 30 seconds left in the game.

[26:20]And Jenny's like,

[26:21]well,

[26:21]we should plan our next weekend.

[26:22]So I think we should do this,

[26:23]this,

[26:24]this.

[26:24]I'm like,

[26:24]the scoreboard's right there.

[26:26]You can see how much time is left.

[26:28]You know how many quarters there are.

[26:29]But I'm going to wrap up by saying,

[26:31]shout out to my mom for planning the trip.

[26:32]Shout out to my family for going along with it.

[26:34]We had a fabulous time in Disneyland,

[26:35]but those were my three stories.

[26:36]So thank you guys for,

[26:37]thank you guys for indulging me.

[26:39]All right.

[26:45]Enough,

[26:45]enough about me.

[26:46]How's it going?

[26:47]How's it rolling?

[26:47]Going with Russell.

[26:49]I think rolling going,

[26:49]things are going well.

[26:50]I've got a few things to share.

[26:51]The first thing I wanted to share with you guys is I went to feed my

[26:56]starving children the other day.

[26:57]Do you guys ever do like a work charity events or do you guys ever do

[27:01]charity things on your own?

[27:02]No.

[27:03]The only charity events we have at school is to raise more money for the

[27:07]private school that I go to,

[27:08]which is they're like,

[27:09]Hey,

[27:10]if you're a teacher,

[27:10]you can donate.

[27:11]They actually say,

[27:12]if you're a teacher,

[27:12]you could donate to the school.

[27:13]And I'm like,

[27:14]are you fucking serious?

[27:14]I'm going to donate to my job.

[27:16]So my coworkers and I,

[27:17]we've done this thing,

[27:18]feed my,

[27:19]starving children for about six or seven years.

[27:20]We go,

[27:21]you pack meals for about an hour and a half.

[27:23]It's kind of a cook,

[27:24]like a fun team building event,

[27:25]if you will.

[27:26]And you're helping out people.

[27:26]But I was kind of wondering,

[27:28]I really enjoy going to this because it's kind of my one service thing that

[27:32]I do during the year.

[27:33]And I feel like if I do one charitable event during the year,

[27:36]I can consider myself a good person.

[27:37]So what do you guys think?

[27:39]How often should you have to do some sort of charitable giving or

[27:42]something along those lines,

[27:43]other than just giving money,

[27:45]something where you're giving your time in order to feel like a good

[27:47]person.

[27:49]I gave blood like three years ago and I'm still riding that high big

[27:52]time.

[27:52]Like that's the nicest thing I've ever done.

[27:54]Cause it was,

[27:54]you know,

[27:55]it's,

[27:55]this is my blood coming out.

[27:57]This is a plus blood.

[27:58]And I told everybody that when it was kind of gunking up the wires,

[28:00]like it wouldn't quite go through the tube.

[28:02]They're like,

[28:02]we're going to need a bigger tube.

[28:03]This is thick blood.

[28:04]I'm like,

[28:04]yeah,

[28:04]that means it's really good.

[28:05]Actually.

[28:05]I'd like to say I do more than once a year,

[28:09]but I mean,

[28:10]I haven't,

[28:10]I haven't done anything like that for a long time.

[28:12]So I think once a year,

[28:13]you're like,

[28:13]you're hitting your marks wrestle.

[28:14]That's impressive.

[28:15]Yeah.

[28:19]Podcast.

[28:19]So you get the award.

[28:20]Well,

[28:21]I'll be more charitable.

[28:22]I'll pivot to another topic then.

[28:24]I can't believe you don't tip.

[28:25]That's the weird part.

[28:26]You're so charitable,

[28:27]but you refuse to tip.

[28:28]You know what?

[28:29]I I'm not that charitable because when you go,

[28:31]when you do feed my starving children,

[28:32]it's this kind of people are scooping food into these packages and then

[28:36]people are weighing the packages and then people are sealing the

[28:39]packages.

[28:39]Everyone's kind of,

[28:39]it's like an assembly line.

[28:41]And for the last like four or five years,

[28:42]I always pick the same job.

[28:44]I want to be the guy sealing the package.

[28:46]I'm the sealer.

[28:47]Here's my,

[28:48]here's my,

[28:49]here's my whole problem.

[28:49]Always be closing.

[28:51]And let me,

[28:51]let me see if,

[28:52]if you can change my mind,

[28:53]Russell,

[28:54]cause I've never done it.

[28:55]I've never done it,

[28:56]but it seems like it's one of those things where you have to pay to go

[28:59]do it.

[29:00]Right.

[29:00]And then you are very inefficiently filling these bags that,

[29:05]you know,

[29:05]like some like robot or something could just fill like 15 times faster.

[29:11]You can get 20 times more food into these packages faster than you can do

[29:15]it.

[29:15]And it's all just for yourself to feed.

[29:18]And this is,

[29:18]like for most charity things,

[29:20]you know,

[29:20]that,

[29:21]you know,

[29:21]what is the,

[29:22]what is the goal?

[29:23]Is the goal for you to feel good?

[29:24]Or is the goal for you to like get food to the people that need it?

[29:28]You know,

[29:28]that's what,

[29:28]that's why I always just donate money personally,

[29:30]but I don't know.

[29:31]Is it,

[29:32]is it more than that?

[29:32]Am I,

[29:33]do I have a jaded view of feed my starving children?

[29:36]That's a good question,

[29:37]Matt.

[29:37]They don't really say like,

[29:38]well,

[29:38]Hey,

[29:38]if you guys packed enough food for a hundred kids for a year,

[29:41]they don't say,

[29:42]Hey,

[29:42]well,

[29:43]if we would have just paid for equipment,

[29:44]we could have done this 10 times faster.

[29:47]So they don't really say that,

[29:48]but,

[29:48]but they do show you like how much you,

[29:50]like how much you've packed,

[29:51]how many people that's going to feed for so long.

[29:53]But you're probably right.

[29:54]There is probably some lack of efficiency there,

[29:57]but you can make a donation.

[29:58]So when we go,

[29:59]we always make a donation as well.

[30:00]So there's a monetary donation that we choose to make.

[30:03]Right.

[30:03]And then we go and we donate the time,

[30:05]but I think you're probably right,

[30:06]man.

[30:06]It's probably some sort of community thing to get people there and give you

[30:09]an opportunity to feel like you're participating.

[30:11]And Russ,

[30:12]is it true that you make your donation by putting quarters into the food

[30:14]and you bury the quarters down deep so that they're,

[30:17]they're going to find it as a little treat when they're eating it.

[30:19]Is that true?

[30:20]Where they're like,

[30:20]Oh good.

[30:21]This guy gave me a quarter.

[30:23]Listen,

[30:23]the other thing is I do think Matt makes a good point because robots are

[30:27]taking,

[30:27]I mean,

[30:27]you have to think about like the autonomous society and how efficient it's

[30:32]made things.

[30:32]There's even a lot of robots who are taking over a lovemaking of their

[30:36]wives.

[30:36]Okay.

[30:37]And I found that to be true where it's,

[30:38]it's gotten into,

[30:39]it's mostly machinery now.

[30:41]In fact,

[30:41]sometimes the husbands aren't even needed at all.

[30:43]And sometimes maybe the husbands walk in,

[30:44]they're just trying to go to bed and this is,

[30:47]it's happening and it's,

[30:47]it's.

[30:48]Yeah.

[30:48]But the thing about a husband is you can't leave your husband behind at

[30:51]security at the airport.

[30:52]So you're always going to be there.

[30:53]If that other thing gets left behind in security.

[30:55]Aren't you monitoring the machinery,

[30:57]Rob?

[30:57]Well,

[30:58]she was like,

[31:00]well,

[31:00]she was like,

[31:01]you smashed your ball so hard last night.

[31:03]I didn't think of that dream.

[31:04]I didn't think you'd want to do take part in this.

[31:06]What was a meal?

[31:07]What's an example of a meal that you're making?

[31:08]So essentially they've got some sort of vitamin mix.

[31:11]So it's like,

[31:12]I don't know what type of powder,

[31:13]but it's some sort of vitamins.

[31:14]These meals are for malnourished kids.

[31:17]Right?

[31:17]So there's a vitamin mix and then there's some sort of rice.

[31:20]And then it's like some sort of protein and carrots.

[31:22]So it's essentially four scoops of different stuff are going in there.

[31:26]It gets weighed.

[31:27]You seal it,

[31:28]you put it in the box,

[31:29]you pack up the box.

[31:30]It's all done,

[31:30]ready to go.

[31:31]Russell,

[31:31]while you're talking there and you said that,

[31:33]I remembered my other joke.

[31:34]Here we go.

[31:34]Are you ready for this?

[31:35]And this is a grand slam of a joke.

[31:38]Get ready for this.

[31:38]This is probably my greatest joke of the night.

[31:40]Okay.

[31:41]So get ready for this.

[31:42]When you are sealing the packages,

[31:44]does that mean you're putting a big scar on their face?

[31:47]I've been kissed by a rose.

[31:51]Seal.

[31:53]I get it.

[31:54]Sealing.

[31:54]Don't feel bad.

[31:56]He had sex with Heidi Klum a lot.

[31:57]Okay.

[31:58]So don't be,

[31:59]Oh,

[31:59]seal's life is hard.

[32:00]He fucks a supermodel every day.

[32:02]Do not feel bad for seal.

[32:03]Oh,

[32:04]my face is fucked up.

[32:05]I'm a famous musician.

[32:05]Oh,

[32:06]I have sex with my supermodel wife.

[32:07]Feel bad for me.

[32:07]My face looks like this.

[32:09]Different kind of model than we were talking about earlier.

[32:12]I'm probably never going to fuck a supermodel.

[32:13]Probably.

[32:14]Probably.

[32:16]So you're telling me there's a chance.

[32:19]Yeah.

[32:19]Unless I'm in some weird charity situation where it's like a fucking normal dude.

[32:23]They come down,

[32:24]they fuck a normal dude and they get to write off on their taxes.

[32:26]I'm just sitting there like,

[32:28]that would be a great charitable.

[32:33]All those women in Vegas when we're there,

[32:35]January 20th through the 23rd at the King's court,

[32:38]when they're just showing up there to watch your dance moves.

[32:41]I mean,

[32:41]that's probably the close.

[32:42]That's,

[32:43]you know,

[32:44]that's when your time to shine is on the picture frame.

[32:46]It was that picture frame show that badminton coach the other day.

[32:49]My wife saw it.

[32:50]So the picture frame is already doing this job.

[32:52]She's like,

[32:53]Oh,

[32:53]do you always kiss women in Vegas?

[32:55]And I was like,

[32:55]well,

[32:56]no,

[32:57]just the last two years.

[32:58]And I said,

[33:00]I actually said,

[33:01]or I go,

[33:01]that's only two out of 11.

[33:02]That's not even that bad.

[33:03]You know,

[33:05]what's funny is that,

[33:06]you know,

[33:06]our buddy Joe from Woodbury on Thanksgiving does a great job every year.

[33:10]He sends out the best texts that we all get all year about.

[33:13]He's thankful for the friendship and blah,

[33:15]blah,

[33:15]blah.

[33:15]You know,

[33:16]it kind of gets a little,

[33:16]a little sappy for him,

[33:17]but you know,

[33:18]but the,

[33:18]the one,

[33:19]the,

[33:19]the last text on that chain,

[33:21]it wasn't from Thanksgiving last year.

[33:24]It was from like January 16th last year.

[33:27]It was like four pictures of you guys out there.

[33:33]And let me just say that was pretty darn hilarious.

[33:37]That was good.

[33:39]Some people,

[33:40]you know,

[33:40]package food and give it to starving children across the globe.

[33:43]And some people show,

[33:46]show that they're attracted to homely moms from the Midwest.

[33:49]So I,

[33:50]am I doing,

[33:51]you're asking me what the last charitable thing I did was?

[33:53]That's pretty close.

[33:54]Oh,

[33:55]you're really attractive.

[33:56]You're definitely not old as hell.

[33:57]They eat it up.

[34:02]So you bet.

[34:03]If we're not mean to the listeners,

[34:04]we're just going to be mean to the ladies in Vegas.

[34:07]Well,

[34:07]I don't have to go to like out to dinner with ladies in Vegas or like go to

[34:12]Christmas parties and hear about this podcast and how mean we all are to

[34:16]everybody.

[34:16]Why do we call them dumb shits?

[34:18]I do.

[34:18]I will say this.

[34:20]Our listeners do bring me an incredible amount of joy.

[34:22]Like even when I see the texts that they send you guys and not me,

[34:24]I get a kick out of that,

[34:25]that they even spend any time listening to this insane garbage.

[34:28]I mean,

[34:29]there was just somebody who was listening to me talking about slamming my

[34:31]balls in a drawer and being like,

[34:32]Hmm.

[34:32]Yes.

[34:33]I'm definitely not going to push this skip forward 15 seconds,

[34:35]but because I know there's going to be approximately 45 seconds of Rob

[34:39]smashing his balls in a drawer in more and more insane ways.

[34:42]By the way,

[34:43]two croquet mallets.

[34:44]That's what I'm thinking now,

[34:45]by the way.

[34:46]Another thing I did this last weekend.

[34:48]I don't know.

[34:49]It's the holiday season.

[34:50]I don't know if you guys have done anything like this.

[34:51]The other night I went to two holiday pop-up bars.

[34:54]Are you guys holiday pop-up bars where they have different like holiday

[34:57]menus for drinks or anything?

[34:59]You guys ever do stuff like that?

[35:00]I have a five-year-old.

[35:02]Yeah.

[35:03]No,

[35:03]Russell.

[35:03]We don't go to holiday pop-up bars.

[35:05]That's insane.

[35:06]I would love to.

[35:07]Yeah.

[35:08]How do you hear about holiday pop-up bars?

[35:10]Is this like a Instagram secret Instagram page or something?

[35:13]Or like,

[35:14]how would,

[35:14]how would one figure out where the,

[35:16]the holiday pop-up bars are?

[35:17]That's that'd be my first question.

[35:19]The same people that did the,

[35:20]the quiet dark dinner.

[35:22]Are you getting emails from excitement,

[35:23]entertainment or whatever?

[35:24]And they're like,

[35:25]Hey,

[35:25]holiday pop-up bar,

[35:26]come get fucked up and smell like peppermint afterwards.

[35:28]It is not the same group.

[35:30]One of them is that lawless distillery.

[35:31]I don't know if you guys have ever been to lawless before.

[35:33]It's a distillery in Minneapolis,

[35:34]kind of like an industrial area,

[35:36]but they've done it for years where essentially you go in and there's

[35:38]holiday lights all over.

[35:39]There's ornaments hanging from the ceiling.

[35:41]And then they just change their drink menu.

[35:43]So they've got hot butter,

[35:45]rum,

[35:45]mulled wine,

[35:46]uh,

[35:46]a Christmas politin Santa's little helper snowball old fashioned.

[35:50]So all the drinks have kind of a holiday theme.

[35:52]What's the snowball one.

[35:53]Don't do it.

[35:55]Don't do it.

[35:56]What's the snowball one.

[35:57]That sounds like,

[35:57]is it like a white Russian or something?

[35:59]Or I'm curious.

[36:00]Snowball.

[36:01]Or is it like a,

[36:03]uh,

[36:03]uh,

[36:04]Oh,

[36:04]what do you,

[36:05]a shaved ice,

[36:05]but with alcohol?

[36:07]Oh my God.

[36:08]Did I just come up with a pop-up?

[36:09]You guys want to do a pop-up?

[36:10]It's actually,

[36:10]it's actually whiskey spice,

[36:12]gingerbread syrup,

[36:13]bitters,

[36:15]and something called,

[36:16]and something called wormwood bitters.

[36:17]Wormwood.

[36:18]Uh,

[36:19]absent has wormwood in it.

[36:21]Yeah.

[36:21]Wormwood.

[36:21]Wormwood.

[36:22]Oh,

[36:22]fuck.

[36:22]Yeah.

[36:22]Russell,

[36:24]you said,

[36:24]you said it's been going for years.

[36:26]Russell,

[36:26]did you have to pretend like you'd never been there before with any other

[36:29]people?

[36:30]Aaron,

[36:31]as you know,

[36:32]my,

[36:32]my full move,

[36:33]and I've learned this from that as full disclosure is the best way to go.

[36:36]So I'm all about,

[36:37]if I've been somewhere before,

[36:38]I,

[36:39]I am full disclosure about it.

[36:41]And I think we discussed this before.

[36:42]That's so people know that,

[36:43]Hey,

[36:44]I've got options.

[36:44]I don't,

[36:45]I don't,

[36:45]I don't,

[36:46]I'm not dependent on what's going on here right now.

[36:48]Right.

[36:48]Yeah.

[36:49]Hey,

[36:49]I love this place.

[36:50]The bathroom's big enough for two people.

[36:51]You know,

[36:52]you'll find my,

[36:56]I was happy yesterday.

[36:57]I'm happy today.

[36:58]And I'll be happy again tomorrow.

[36:59]If it's not working out,

[37:00]there's the,

[37:03]there's the noise.

[37:03]There's the statement of a man who's never going to get engaged.

[37:06]I'm like you,

[37:11]Russell.

[37:11]I was happy yesterday.

[37:12]You know that.

[37:13]So,

[37:14]you know that these are out there and then you just need to,

[37:15]you just need to start like Googling and seeing where are the other ones.

[37:17]So another one is that psycho Susie's I'm,

[37:20]I'm sure you guys have been there a while.

[37:21]Yeah.

[37:22]Yep.

[37:22]Yep.

[37:23]And so you go in there and you go downstairs and they've got this amazing

[37:27]setup.

[37:27]There's just Christmas ornaments all over.

[37:29]It feels like you're in a cave.

[37:30]Almost.

[37:30]You're just,

[37:31]it's Christmas everywhere.

[37:32]It's holiday stuff everywhere.

[37:34]And it's a great time,

[37:35]but I was kind of balancing this,

[37:37]this thought the other night of when you're at a place in the atmosphere is

[37:41]so cool,

[37:41]but the service is so terrible.

[37:43]Do you stay?

[37:44]How long do you,

[37:45]how long do you stay?

[37:45]Like if it takes you 30 minutes to get a drink,

[37:48]but the,

[37:49]the vibe is super cool.

[37:50]How do you balance that?

[37:51]I,

[37:51]you just stay right.

[37:53]Cause what are you going to do?

[37:54]You're going to leave and then go somewhere shitty and get good service.

[37:56]You're talking about your first drink though.

[37:58]Like you haven't had your first drink yet.

[37:59]Yes,

[38:00]sir.

[38:00]Ooh,

[38:01]that's tough.

[38:01]I don't know.

[38:02]Is there anywhere else within walking distance?

[38:04]No.

[38:06]Yeah.

[38:07]So that's really tough.

[38:08]I just try to flip it a little bit to saying like,

[38:11]I'm just going to feel just a little bit better in the morning.

[38:13]Cause I would normally have about two,

[38:15]and I haven't even ordered yet right now.

[38:17]It slows you down.

[38:17]Yeah.

[38:18]It slows you down.

[38:19]I'm getting fucked up on Wyrmwood tonight,

[38:20]boys and girls.

[38:21]Then you go in there like,

[38:22]man,

[38:22]not anymore.

[38:24]Yeah.

[38:25]Russell's like,

[38:27]I only got to have three peppermint,

[38:29]hot chocolate,

[38:30]Kahlua mudslide martinis.

[38:31]Oh no.

[38:32]Speaking of the holiday spirit,

[38:34]Matt Roland going,

[38:35]how's it going with you?

[38:36]Uh,

[38:37]good,

[38:37]good.

[38:38]Just great.

[38:39]I've got a little list here.

[38:41]We'll try to just hammer through this,

[38:43]uh,

[38:43]on the list.

[38:44]Uh,

[38:45]I have trumpets for the national Anthem are awesome.

[38:48]It's like this new trend right now where they're not having singers or

[38:51]having like either jazz musicians or somebody,

[38:53]or the biggest one has been trumpet.

[38:55]So I think Rosie's brother who had Timmy trumpet or whatever,

[39:00]you know,

[39:00]and that's closer and that's closer was coming out.

[39:03]They actually had Timmy trumpet actually play live for one of the

[39:07]playoff games from coming in.

[39:08]But now they've got all these trumpet players doing the national Anthem.

[39:10]I think that's pretty darn sweet.

[39:12]I like it.

[39:13]Um,

[39:14]what if you held a trumpet up?

[39:15]And then you just were like,

[39:16]you really funny.

[39:24]It'd be really,

[39:24]really rhetorical question.

[39:26]Don't.

[39:26]Oh,

[39:26]um,

[39:27]went to a holiday party last night,

[39:31]Russell.

[39:31]So we got invited,

[39:32]you know,

[39:33]by some,

[39:33]some of our awesome listeners who haven't quite called in as much as they should lately.

[39:38]And so,

[39:39]you know,

[39:39]hopefully they,

[39:40]hopefully they call in a little bit more often with some of their opinions.

[39:43]What did you stand under the mistletoe for?

[39:45]Uh,

[39:45]not very long.

[39:46]I got out of that real quick out of the,

[39:49]there was mistletoe.

[39:50]I avoided it.

[39:51]Matt,

[39:52]did they have eggnog or hot buttered rum or any of those kinds of drinks?

[39:56]Kirsten,

[39:57]Kirsten for me,

[39:58]Dinah hosts the party and she always has a signature drink every year.

[40:02]She's big,

[40:02]you know,

[40:03]big signature drink person,

[40:04]which leads me to another one of my things that I don't know if it was Kirsten or somebody else was talking about how,

[40:10]you know,

[40:10]because we're getting down on the list,

[40:12]we don't have Russell's drink of the,

[40:14]the night as much anymore,

[40:16]you know,

[40:17]tonight we,

[40:17]okay.

[40:18]But one of the feedback I got is that they're very disappointed.

[40:22]And the episodes that we don't have,

[40:24]the Russell's signature cocktail drink.

[40:26]We got to keep it going.

[40:27]You're saying.

[40:28]Yeah.

[40:28]So we got to,

[40:29]we might just have to start making things up whenever,

[40:31]you know,

[40:31]if it's not in the booze and vinyl.

[40:33]Um,

[40:34]boy,

[40:35]our listeners sure have a lot of feedback,

[40:37]a lot of criticism.

[40:38]You know what?

[40:38]Thank you so much.

[40:40]We appreciate that.

[40:40]We love,

[40:41]it's just fine with Rob criticism.

[40:43]No matter how minor it is,

[40:44]doesn't bother us at all.

[40:44]So that's great.

[40:45]We were talking about the Rob and Sam show,

[40:47]and there was a lot of the listeners who went to the same college as us and who

[40:52]might've called into the Rob and Sam show and might be really,

[40:56]really embarrassed by what they think that they used to call in and talk about

[41:00]on the Rob and Sam show.

[41:01]And so they do not want to see it released.

[41:04]So we definitely got to put it out there.

[41:06]Definitely got to get it.

[41:07]It was the,

[41:08]that was,

[41:09]it was pretty fun to talk about how that's going to be out to the,

[41:12]I can tell you pretty soon as somebody who has listened to this show,

[41:14]listened to some of that show,

[41:15]you will not be able to listen to it.

[41:17]You will not be able to sit through 15 minutes of me stumbling through reading

[41:19]an article from online or like,

[41:21]here's the,

[41:22]here's the crazy thing.

[41:23]I used to tell like jokes that I had written down and some of them aren't even

[41:26]that funny.

[41:27]No,

[41:28]I know.

[41:30]It's amazing how much I've changed and matured.

[41:33]I barely talked about slamming my balls in a drawer in college.

[41:37]Now that I'm a 42 year old man,

[41:38]I talk about it all the time.

[41:39]Those recordings will have to treat them like your feelings and emotions.

[41:43]We'll have to shove that shit down.

[41:44]Right.

[41:44]Yeah.

[41:45]Just shove it down.

[41:46]Just don't let them see the light of day.

[41:48]It'll,

[41:49]it'll never backfire on you and get you in trouble later in life.

[41:52]It'll be just fine.

[41:53]Don't worry about it.

[41:54]Yeah.

[41:54]And this podcast,

[41:55]and this podcast isn't a lesson about that at all.

[41:57]I'm not thinking about that right now.

[41:58]Like,

[41:58]right.

[41:59]Mostly I'm thinking about,

[42:00]I probably use a book now,

[42:01]big heavy book,

[42:02]slam those babies in there.

[42:03]Oh,

[42:04]thanks.

[42:04]That's what they do for cysts.

[42:07]Um,

[42:07]take that.

[42:07]Oh,

[42:08]Aaron,

[42:09]it would look just like Pac-Man eating.

[42:12]It would look just like Pac-Man eating the cherries.

[42:14]And you know,

[42:18]the last thing I got,

[42:19]um,

[42:20]have you ever noticed that,

[42:22]you know,

[42:24]women,

[42:24]your balls hurt all the time for some reason?

[42:26]Yes.

[42:27]You have noticed that you got two women,

[42:31]their friends are just called friends,

[42:33]but guys,

[42:33]you know,

[42:34]we don't have friends,

[42:35]but you know,

[42:35]it's called a bromance or buddies.

[42:37]You know,

[42:38]they can't just have guy male friends.

[42:40]Have you ever noticed that?

[42:41]That just,

[42:42]you have to have a name bromance.

[42:44]It's associated with it.

[42:45]Like it's gotta be buddies or something like we can't just be,

[42:48]I don't know.

[42:49]So we were talking about that on a,

[42:51]on a TV show.

[42:51]And I thought that was kind of funny that,

[42:53]you know,

[42:53]the insecurities of a guys to just have good guy friends.

[42:57]And that's why I think this podcast is good because you know,

[43:00]we're all good buddies,

[43:02]right?

[43:02]And we have a bromance going,

[43:04]I think on this,

[43:04]on this podcast,

[43:06]at least Rob does.

[43:07]And,

[43:07]and,

[43:08]and Russell,

[43:08]they're kind of connected at the hip.

[43:10]There's an off chance.

[43:11]We're all going to see each other in person soon.

[43:13]What?

[43:14]There's a chance we're going to see each other in person soon for the first

[43:17]time since we've started this podcast.

[43:18]Rob,

[43:19]I'm going to hug you so hard.

[43:20]I'm not going to let go.

[43:21]Yeah.

[43:21]So that's all I got for the list today.

[43:23]Rob rolling,

[43:24]going,

[43:24]how's it going with you?

[43:25]Listen,

[43:25]my,

[43:26]uh,

[43:27]our friend who,

[43:28]uh,

[43:28]makes the cookies and also cleans my apartment.

[43:31]Okay.

[43:31]For money,

[43:32]but she's also my friend.

[43:33]She was out of town the other week and it was,

[43:35]we were in dire straits.

[43:36]Okay.

[43:36]Because Jenny was so busy working that the apartment was not clean.

[43:41]It was not clean at all.

[43:42]It was a filthy pigsty.

[43:44]And it was embarrassing because we were having people over for Thanksgiving.

[43:46]So what can we do?

[43:48]Right?

[43:49]I've only got a couple of days off for Thanksgiving.

[43:51]Okay.

[43:52]I don't have time to clean.

[43:53]I would fake sick.

[43:54]Yeah.

[43:54]So somebody else,

[43:56]we have,

[43:58]we have a secondary cleaning person that comes to our place.

[44:02]However,

[44:03]there is a problem.

[44:04]Is this a friend or not a friend?

[44:05]It's,

[44:06]you know what?

[44:07]We're all kind of friends,

[44:08]but not as much.

[44:09]Like we don't see each other socially.

[44:10]How are her cookies?

[44:11]Her non-existent,

[44:14]oh,

[44:14]okay.

[44:14]It's,

[44:15]it's not Bernie.

[44:16]Is it?

[44:16]They come over and they look at the,

[44:18]it's not Bernie.

[44:19]Here's the problem.

[44:20]And I don't know if we can hire this person again.

[44:22]And this is going to make me sound like a bad person.

[44:24]And I want to remind you,

[44:25]I'm not,

[44:25]I'm actually a good person.

[44:27]Okay.

[44:27]I donated my time at things.

[44:29]It's debatable,

[44:29]but okay.

[44:30]I've donated my time and at things.

[44:34]So here's the thing.

[44:35]She,

[44:36]I don't know if I can hire her again because the way she cleans is that she is on her hands and knees with a rag.

[44:41]And she wipes down everything with a rag.

[44:43]And she wipes down everything with a rag.

[44:43]And I feel like an evil stepmother when I'm here.

[44:49]I feel like she has somehow ended up like she was my brother's kid.

[44:53]And then like he passed away and she came to live with us.

[44:56]And now she lives in the basement.

[44:57]She has to clean on her hands and knees with a rag.

[44:59]Do you know how hard it is to,

[45:03]when you need to get,

[45:03]because we have a small place,

[45:04]right?

[45:05]I had to get something out of the kitchen.

[45:07]I would have to leave.

[45:09]I would have to leave the apartment during that,

[45:11]that time.

[45:12]I had to step over her.

[45:13]Kind of.

[45:14]I'm like relaxing and playing video games.

[45:16]I had to step over her to get to the kitchen.

[45:19]It was,

[45:20]there is something awkward about hiring someone to perform that service while you sit there and play video games while you're doing nothing.

[45:26]Well,

[45:27]it's like,

[45:27]have you ever now you want to talk about it?

[45:29]Modern day daredevil.

[45:30]Have you ever been in the hotel room when housekeeping comes in and you just sit there?

[45:35]Will they do it?

[45:36]I've done it.

[45:37]No,

[45:39]he's so pleased with himself.

[45:40]I've done it.

[45:41]I've been like,

[45:42]yeah,

[45:42]you can clean up a little bit.

[45:43]I can't make the bed cause I'm in it.

[45:45]Of course.

[45:45]Like you can't worry.

[45:47]Maybe they could tuck me in.

[45:48]Ooh,

[45:48]that'd be nice.

[45:49]Come on.

[45:50]Take your socks off.

[45:52]I mean,

[45:52]you put the chocolate right in my mouth.

[45:53]Get you that laptop charger while they're up too,

[45:55]right?

[45:56]Did you give me a glass of water?

[45:59]Oh my God.

[45:59]That'd be so good.

[46:00]Ask the housekeeping.

[46:01]Hey,

[46:02]just a little glass of water.

[46:04]Come on.

[46:04]It's like me with my bologna sandwich with my dad.

[46:06]Come on.

[46:07]Just a,

[46:07]just a glass of water.

[46:08]I'm so thirsty.

[46:09]This hotel room is dry.

[46:11]Do you get dry in here?

[46:14]I got a question though,

[46:15]Rob,

[46:15]you know,

[46:16]often when you have two different cleaners,

[46:17]one of them who's been,

[46:19]you know,

[46:20]who's your good buddy has been cleaning the place for a long time to get a

[46:23]little bit.

[46:23]I'm not going to say this.

[46:24]I know what you're going to ask.

[46:25]I'm not going to say it.

[46:25]What am I going to ask?

[46:26]Who does it better?

[46:27]Come on.

[46:28]Yeah.

[46:28]You know,

[46:29]she,

[46:30]she finds,

[46:30]you know,

[46:31]where the,

[46:33]the good buddy with the cookies where she's missing all,

[46:35]you know,

[46:36]not doing such a good job and maybe things are,

[46:39]there is a 0.0002 chance that one of them is going to listen to

[46:43]the podcast.

[46:43]And that has no influence on my answer whatsoever.

[46:46]Okay.

[46:47]But I'm going to say right now,

[46:48]the good buddy does a great job cleaning.

[46:50]In fact,

[46:50]did you,

[46:51]did you make this,

[46:53]this new cleaning person listen to the podcast while they were in the

[46:56]house?

[46:56]So that would have been episode one,

[46:59]just like,

[47:00]Oh,

[47:00]beetle Sergeant pepper.

[47:01]Oh,

[47:02]my battery and my phone died.

[47:03]Can I borrow yours?

[47:04]Podcast app,

[47:05]download,

[47:06]download.

[47:06]Who is this big bopper guy?

[47:09]Oh yeah.

[47:11]They don't really figure that out for like 70,

[47:13]70 episodes.

[47:13]And then even then it's kind of like,

[47:15]it seems tenuous at best,

[47:17]but it gets really good.

[47:18]Like they have out of 122 episodes,

[47:21]they've got like three or four real.

[47:22]They've got where they're,

[47:25]where they're good.

[47:26]You get done.

[47:26]You go,

[47:26]well,

[47:26]that was something,

[47:27]you know,

[47:28]didn't waste my time entirely.

[47:30]So here's,

[47:31]here's my challenge.

[47:31]You Matt,

[47:32]please be in the hotel room during housekeeping and just stay there.

[47:35]Just see if you can do it.

[47:36]See how strong you are.

[47:37]I can't do,

[47:38]I could not,

[47:38]I could not do that.

[47:39]That'd be way too awkward.

[47:42]Do you tip them then?

[47:43]Do you,

[47:43]I mean,

[47:43]how much do you,

[47:44]I was just going to ask you,

[47:45]I have never tipped the housekeeping place at a hotel ever.

[47:48]Oh boy.

[47:49]Is that bad?

[47:50]I don't do it either,

[47:51]but I know someone,

[47:52]I think it's bad.

[47:53]I feel really bad about it,

[47:55]but I don't want to pay extra for that thing.

[47:58]I will say this.

[47:59]I know a,

[48:00]a hotel goer,

[48:02]if you will,

[48:02]that I,

[48:03]I know that supposedly worked at a hotel when they were younger.

[48:07]And so they know what that staff needs to do.

[48:11]And so they always make sure,

[48:13]that there's tips at the hotel,

[48:14]but sometimes they don't have cash for that.

[48:16]So it turns out I have to tip.

[48:18]And there's so many bugs.

[48:19]They come in and there's just bugs all over the place.

[48:21]There's smashed insects.

[48:22]The towels are filthy full of insects.

[48:24]I think those people,

[48:25]yeah,

[48:26]I think you got to tip those people,

[48:27]man.

[48:27]I think you're right too.

[48:29]I feel bad now.

[48:29]Oh no,

[48:31]I'm a bad person.

[48:32]Well Rob,

[48:32]you tipped the one time when you left the big,

[48:34]the big shit in the toilet at the Airbnb,

[48:37]right?

[48:37]To be fair,

[48:38]I can't remember if that was me or my wife.

[48:40]So it's 50-50.

[48:42]To be fair.

[48:43]It's 50-50.

[48:45]It's unknown who it was.

[48:46]Listen guys,

[48:47]we don't have time to talk about this anymore.

[48:48]We got to talk about this album.

[48:49]Oh,

[48:50]is this a music podcast?

[48:51]Let's talk about the album.

[48:53]All right.

[48:57]Can I ask you this?

[48:58]I'm going to give you guys a little quiz.

[49:00]Okay.

[49:00]I'm going to ask you how much you know about Elvis Costello,

[49:04]because I have never had an artist that I know who it is and is famous.

[49:10]And when you go online,

[49:11]everyone seems to love,

[49:12]I love Elvis Costello,

[49:13]but I've never had an artist that I actually don't know anything about.

[49:17]Like I didn't know.

[49:18]I don't think I knew any of these songs.

[49:19]So let me ask you this.

[49:20]Is Elvis Costello in the rock and roll hall of fame?

[49:22]Has to be.

[49:24]Yes.

[49:24]I would say,

[49:25]well,

[49:26]I would guess.

[49:27]Yes.

[49:27]I don't know for sure.

[49:28]2003.

[49:29]He was inducted.

[49:30]Oh my God.

[49:31]I,

[49:31]what he,

[49:32]why do you guys have to say yes?

[49:34]Why do you say yes?

[49:34]So I would,

[49:35]I would assume.

[49:36]I don't get the rock and roll.

[49:37]Yeah.

[49:38]I don't think it's too exclusive,

[49:39]right?

[49:39]I would guess almost every artist that is,

[49:42]that is over the age of 50 that is on this list is probably a hall of

[49:46]favor.

[49:46]That's that's yeah.

[49:48]That's probably true.

[49:49]I like that.

[49:50]That's,

[49:50]that's good thinking.

[49:51]That's good logic.

[49:52]If they're on this list,

[49:53]they're probably in the hall of fame.

[49:54]Okay.

[49:55]How many,

[49:55]how about this?

[49:56]How many people voting on both?

[49:57]Right.

[49:57]How many albums did this guy put out between 1977 and 1984?

[50:00]10,

[50:02]eight,

[50:03]seven,

[50:04]eight,

[50:04]nine albums.

[50:05]He put out nine albums in like seven years.

[50:08]Like it's,

[50:09]it's crazy.

[50:10]And I have heard of none of them.

[50:12]I have heard none of them.

[50:13]I have heard of none of them.

[50:14]And basically the question is,

[50:16]this is a second album,

[50:17]right?

[50:17]Why is this album famous?

[50:20]Is it famous?

[50:22]I don't.

[50:24]Yes.

[50:25]Right.

[50:25]Because everybody's heard of Elvis Costello.

[50:27]I think this is his best known album.

[50:29]I thought you just said you've never heard of him until now,

[50:32]but I'm dumb.

[50:33]I'm very dumb.

[50:33]Russell.

[50:34]I do dumb things.

[50:35]And it doesn't have my aim is true,

[50:36]which is the only Elvis Costello song that I know.

[50:38]Partly because it was a new girl once.

[50:40]Basically,

[50:41]this is the girl.

[50:42]This is the first album he has with the attractions,

[50:45]which are his backup band.

[50:46]And mostly what I read online was that everybody thinks this is one of the

[50:49]most talented backup bands ever.

[50:51]And it sounds so good.

[50:53]The bass playing on this is,

[50:54]is fantastic.

[50:54]In fact,

[50:55]the worst,

[50:56]the worst part of the album is the rhythm guitar.

[50:58]And guess who plays rhythm guitar?

[51:00]Elvis Costello.

[51:02]Yeah.

[51:03]And it's so far back in the mix the whole time,

[51:05]but people go crazy about this album.

[51:07]And they're saying basically,

[51:08]this is a kind of a new wave,

[51:10]but it's somehow like,

[51:12]he took the punk movement and then turned it back into pop.

[51:15]So it's kind of a catchy thing.

[51:16]And you know,

[51:16]what's crazy about this,

[51:17]this is his best album that hit the highest in the UK.

[51:20]This got all the way up to number four for this British rocker.

[51:23]Okay.

[51:24]This,

[51:24]what do we call it?

[51:25]This bloke Russell.

[51:26]Okay.

[51:27]What this album really reminded me of was they might be giants.

[51:30]And I thought to myself,

[51:32]if I listened to this album a thousand times when I was 12,

[51:35]would I have the same love for this that I have for they might be giants?

[51:39]I don't know.

[51:39]It's a lot of the same stuff.

[51:40]A lot of wordplay,

[51:41]a lot of kind of catchy,

[51:42]a lot of catchy rhythms,

[51:43]a lot of,

[51:43]but you wouldn't,

[51:46]but the references aren't,

[51:47]I mean,

[51:47]I don't know.

[51:47]The references are more obscure in this one,

[51:49]right?

[51:49]Like I listened to a few times and I don't really know what most of it's

[51:52]about.

[51:52]And they might be giants as clever as they are,

[51:55]or a little more obvious in a way.

[51:58]I'm going to tell you right now,

[52:00]Aaron,

[52:00]you know what this album is about?

[52:01]Tell me love.

[52:02]He is very,

[52:03]very horny.

[52:04]No,

[52:05]a guy making an album,

[52:08]trying to get laid.

[52:08]Yeah.

[52:09]It would be all.

[52:09]I mean,

[52:10]look at the first song,

[52:10]no action.

[52:11]It's literally,

[52:12]what you think it's about.

[52:13]Did you get,

[52:15]did you guys have the same problem that I did?

[52:17]Did you turn the,

[52:19]did you turn the volume up every time you started?

[52:21]Yes.

[52:21]You're like,

[52:22]why is it so quiet?

[52:23]I'd be like,

[52:23]why is my one headphone working?

[52:24]Yes.

[52:25]Yes.

[52:25]What were you going to say,

[52:27]Russell?

[52:28]I couldn't stand the opening where he's just kind of talking slowly.

[52:32]It's like,

[52:32]I get,

[52:33]I get,

[52:33]it's like trying to pull you in emotionally to the album or something,

[52:36]but I did not like that as the opening.

[52:37]What did you guys think?

[52:39]Van Morrison,

[52:39]you were like,

[52:40]Oh,

[52:40]I love,

[52:40]I love how he just gets right into it.

[52:42]And then,

[52:42]and then all of a sudden Elvis Costello,

[52:43]you don't like that.

[52:44]He's talking right away.

[52:45]Hit it from the beginning.

[52:46]Something doesn't add up in the story.

[52:48]This is what I don't like.

[52:51]The whispering or whatever at the beginning.

[52:55]But like,

[52:56]yeah,

[52:56]I kept thinking like,

[52:57]why is my radio turned up loud enough?

[53:00]And then you turn it up and then it would like pound in the ears.

[53:02]Russell,

[53:03]I just want to tell you this.

[53:04]I'm having a really good time playing on the podcast.

[53:06]When you want to hear about it.

[53:07]See,

[53:07]it's like how you come to real.

[53:09]I am Elvis.

[53:12]I'm coming.

[53:12]It's time to say goodbye.

[53:14]This is where Brian's kids ask his dad,

[53:16]ask their dad to turn the radio up.

[53:18]And then what happens?

[53:19]Producing Rob smashing his balls in the dresser.

[53:23]Brian's kids got to listen to Brian's kids.

[53:25]Come on now,

[53:27]Aaron.

[53:27]And you wouldn't do it by taking two big spoons from the kitchen or

[53:32]whatever.

[53:32]Imagine Brian trying to explain why dad,

[53:35]why is he smashing his balls in the drawer?

[53:38]What the hell is he going to tell him?

[53:42]What does he do for a job?

[53:44]He's oh,

[53:44]he's a teacher.

[53:45]Okay.

[53:45]This makes total sense.

[53:46]Are you a teacher dad?

[53:49]Why did the teachers do that?

[53:51]Listen,

[53:54]the next song,

[53:55]I saw this album to accuse online of being pretty misogynistic.

[53:59]And this next song is an answer to stupid girl by the rolling stones.

[54:03]And it's called this year's girl.

[54:05]And it was all about how women are viewed kind of like in the music,

[54:12]movie industry,

[54:13]but listen to the base on this.

[54:14]Who is the bass player?

[54:18]He's singing on this thing.

[54:19]Bruce Thomas is the bass player.

[54:21]Not to be confused with the drummer,

[54:27]Pete Thomas and not related.

[54:30]So see,

[54:32]I did my research for this.

[54:33]I mean,

[54:33]two guys with two first names.

[54:35]You can't trust them.

[54:36]Okay.

[54:36]I'm just going to go around right now.

[54:39]I got,

[54:39]I got to,

[54:39]I got to answer this question.

[54:40]I want,

[54:41]I want you to tell me,

[54:42]I want you to tell me right now,

[54:42]how many times you listened to this full album?

[54:44]Russell,

[54:44]how many times did you listen?

[54:45]Twice.

[54:46]What about you,

[54:47]Rosie?

[54:47]Two times through the full album.

[54:50]Matt,

[54:51]what did you do this week?

[54:52]So this week at work,

[54:54]I listened to it one full time.

[54:55]That's exactly the same number of times I was able to listen to this album.

[54:58]It was like one.

[54:59]And then I would start it and then I'd be like,

[55:00]okay.

[55:01]And then I'd start it and I'd be like,

[55:03]I don't know,

[55:04]guys.

[55:05]I,

[55:05]I feel like we're not cool if we don't like this,

[55:07]but it's just,

[55:08]I'm not,

[55:09]I'm not worried about it.

[55:10]I'm not worried about it at all.

[55:11]So this,

[55:12]this is the most new wave song on this album.

[55:14]And it's kind of an interesting one.

[55:16]It's about how he's bad at sex.

[55:19]He's kind of nervous about being bad at sex,

[55:22]but it has a minor key chorus and a major key or minor key versus,

[55:26]and a major chorus or reverse.

[55:30]I think the chorus is minor.

[55:32]This might've been the one for me.

[55:33]We've talked about keyboards so much before,

[55:35]and I think this is,

[55:37]what is it?

[55:38]A box?

[55:42]It's a box continental.

[55:43]I think we actually,

[55:44]I think I sent Rob a list on this group many,

[55:46]many months ago for the doors.

[55:48]And I think we didn't get to it or something.

[55:50]I don't know what happened,

[55:51]but I don't think we did it,

[55:52]but that box continent was really big with like psychedelic rock,

[55:56]like the animals,

[55:57]the doors.

[55:59]And then it kind of came back with this new wave.

[56:01]And if there would have been like one or two songs with that,

[56:04]that organ on it,

[56:05]that keyboard,

[56:06]I would have been all about it,

[56:07]but it just overwhelmed me a little bit.

[56:09]I almost couldn't get past the keyboard.

[56:11]Yeah. What did you think?

[56:12]It's it's a,

[56:13]it's a weird sounding album,

[56:15]isn't it?

[56:15]Cause like it is like the sense are turned way up,

[56:18]but it's,

[56:18]I think every,

[56:19]almost every song on this album has a moment where if I heard it,

[56:22]if I just heard that song,

[56:23]I'd be like,

[56:24]this is fun.

[56:25]But then in total,

[56:26]it's just like,

[56:27]we're doing this again.

[56:28]Like really that's,

[56:29]I don't know.

[56:30]That's how it hits for me.

[56:31]Do you think,

[56:32]are you,

[56:32]do you guys feel like you're good at sex?

[56:34]No.

[56:35]Like you think you're good at it.

[56:37]Why are you asking me this?

[56:39]Cause this is the song is the song is he feels bad about sex.

[56:42]I know I'm not good at sex.

[56:43]Like I've never had been like starting to have sex and be like,

[56:46]Oh man,

[56:47]she's going to get rocked.

[56:49]Like right away.

[56:49]I'm like,

[56:50]I'm like,

[56:51]okay,

[56:51]maybe this is the time.

[56:52]Maybe this is it.

[56:53]There was a continuum of every band in the,

[56:55]in the world,

[56:56]Rob,

[56:56]where would you be like in the top 50% or low of confidence?

[56:59]No,

[57:00]like bottom 2%.

[57:02]Bottom 2%.

[57:03]I'd be like,

[57:04]come on,

[57:04]Rob.

[57:04]No,

[57:04]I just don't think,

[57:05]I just know it's like,

[57:06]it's like,

[57:07]it's like when you pitch slow pitch softball and you're like,

[57:11]well,

[57:11]I hope they only hit,

[57:12]eight home runs right now.

[57:13]Like,

[57:13]that's what I'm going in doing.

[57:14]Like,

[57:14]Oh,

[57:15]I hope I only,

[57:16]this is only like a little bit.

[57:18]Technically,

[57:18]Rob,

[57:19]you have two children.

[57:20]I don't think you can be in the bottom 2%.

[57:22]Like you've,

[57:22]you've shown that you're physically able,

[57:24]right?

[57:24]You can deliver.

[57:25]Oh yeah.

[57:26]Factory is at full capacity right now.

[57:28]Like it's,

[57:29]it's,

[57:29]it's going.

[57:31]Okay.

[57:32]The machines are wearing,

[57:33]everybody's checking.

[57:34]Everybody's like,

[57:34]yep.

[57:34]Output's great.

[57:35]We're having record years.

[57:36]That is not what I'm talking about.

[57:39]Okay.

[57:39]I just don't think anyone outside the factory,

[57:42]okay.

[57:43]Or who the factory delivers to.

[57:44]They're not happy with the product.

[57:45]They open it up and they say,

[57:46]what is,

[57:47]what is this?

[57:47]This is half of what I expected.

[57:49]And it costs three times as much.

[57:51]So that's what I'm thinking.

[57:53]We're getting deep into Rob's psyche right now.

[57:56]You guys ever made a sex tape?

[57:57]How about that?

[57:58]You think you're so good at sex?

[57:59]Oh my God.

[58:00]No,

[58:00]man.

[58:01]Come on,

[58:02]man.

[58:02]Never,

[58:03]never,

[58:03]ever,

[58:04]ever.

[58:04]Why would anybody do that?

[58:07]Why would anybody do that?

[58:09]No,

[58:12]no way.

[58:12]Well,

[58:13]it could be a cassette tape.

[58:14]A drawing.

[58:15]You've ever made a drawing of yourself having sex?

[58:16]A cassette tape.

[58:17]A drawing of myself having sex?

[58:19]That I have done.

[58:20]I probably have done that.

[58:21]Yeah,

[58:21]I probably have done that.

[58:22]I have done 100%.

[58:23]It's like,

[58:24]oh,

[58:24]here's what you give me.

[58:25]This person's so good.

[58:26]But even then I was like,

[58:29]oh,

[58:29]my balls are so big and everything else is so small.

[58:31]Even though the drawing is not nice.

[58:33]Anyway,

[58:34]Alyssa,

[58:35]man,

[58:37]are you sure?

[58:38]Not even like a cassette tape?

[58:42]No,

[58:42]not even a cassette tape.

[58:43]Just the noises.

[58:45]Yeah.

[58:46]Oh,

[58:48]yeah.

[58:48]Pump it up.

[58:49]Hey,

[58:51]guess what?

[58:51]It's a dick joke.

[58:53]Pump it up.

[58:53]Oh,

[58:54]really?

[58:55]Absolutely.

[58:56]This has got to be the most famous song in the album,

[58:58]right?

[58:59]This one?

[58:59]So this was the biggest hit in the US.

[59:01]I think so.

[59:02]It's interesting because you were kind of talking,

[59:05]Aaron was talking about how you kind of are hearing the same thing over and over.

[59:07]It's because I heard one of the beat,

[59:10]the song before this,

[59:11]and I was like,

[59:11]what does this sound like?

[59:12]I was trying to get in my head.

[59:14]What does this sound like?

[59:15]I was humming and humming it.

[59:16]And then it was like,

[59:17]oh,

[59:17]it's pump it up.

[59:17]It's the next song.

[59:18]It just sounds like the same thing,

[59:20]right?

[59:20]Do you think the drummer got tired just hitting every beat for two straight songs?

[59:24]Bum,

[59:25]bum,

[59:25]bum,

[59:26]bum,

[59:26]bum,

[59:27]bum.

[59:27]What's the time signature?

[59:29]Oh,

[59:30]it's in fucking four because you're hitting every fucking quarter note.

[59:32]Like what the fuck?

[59:33]That's a good song though,

[59:34]right?

[59:34]Like that.

[59:35]I like it.

[59:35]That's your big hit song that I could see how this album got up on the list.

[59:40]Yeah,

[59:40]it's a fun one.

[59:40]I mean,

[59:41]I can tell you doing karaoke,

[59:42]too.

[59:42]It was really fun because I was like,

[59:43]oh,

[59:43]I don't really know this song,

[59:44]but it's kind of a fun rhythm and a fun cadence.

[59:46]But it is funny to think about his drummer just getting tired.

[59:49]Just bang,

[59:50]bang,

[59:51]bang,

[59:51]bang.

[59:52]What do you guys think is the right time to listen to this album?

[59:54]Hmm.

[59:56]At a party,

[59:58]maybe?

[59:58]Because Booze and Vinyl has a recommendation.

[60:01]Does it,

[60:03]does it say Tuesday at one o'clock in your office when nobody else is around?

[60:07]You just need some,

[60:08]some background noise on.

[60:09]And is that what it says?

[60:11]Maybe a little,

[60:12]maybe a little bit,

[60:12]but it's,

[60:12]it's maybe not,

[60:13]maybe a little bit more exciting.

[60:14]It's a night at the diner,

[60:16]diner mugs,

[60:17]basket of chips served in red plastic baskets,

[60:19]aprons and vintage eyewear.

[60:21]The listening party is your chance to embrace Costello's vintage style.

[60:25]Diner music.

[60:26]I mean,

[60:28]I don't know.

[60:28]Like if you're in a diner and this is playing,

[60:30]you're kind of like,

[60:31]Hey,

[60:31]could you just take it down a notch?

[60:32]I'm just trying to eat some eggs.

[60:33]I don't know.

[60:34]I just want to hear some fifties or sixties stuff.

[60:36]Yeah,

[60:36]they do have a drink recommendation.

[60:38]It's called a pumped.

[60:39]Have you guys ever had a pumped boo?

[60:40]No,

[60:41]no,

[60:42]no.

[60:42]What is it?

[60:43]Oh,

[60:43]here pump it up.

[60:44]Costello's romping stomping single makes us thirsty for an Amaro spiked root beer float.

[60:49]So it's a root beer float.

[60:51]It's got root beer,

[60:52]root beer,

[60:52]Rob ice cream.

[60:55]Wow.

[60:56]Yeah.

[60:57]And one and a half ounces of something called Amaro.

[61:00]No,

[61:00]no chance.

[61:01]No chance.

[61:02]Yes.

[61:03]Yeah.

[61:03]What do you got for Amaro in there?

[61:04]Russell?

[61:04]You got some,

[61:05]you got some,

[61:06]I drank my root beer float earlier,

[61:08]but I have to admit to you guys,

[61:09]I didn't have Amaro.

[61:10]So then I started Googling.

[61:12]Well,

[61:12]what is Amaro?

[61:13]And it sounds like it's just some bitters.

[61:15]Like it's a bitter flavor.

[61:16]It is.

[61:16]So I poured some in there and I was like,

[61:18]well,

[61:18]now this isn't a boozy drink.

[61:20]Like there's no booze in the bitters,

[61:22]right?

[61:22]It's just like a,

[61:23]right.

[61:24]It's just a flavor.

[61:25]Bitters usually have booze in them,

[61:27]but that can't make it a boozy drink.

[61:29]Like that drop of bitters.

[61:30]No,

[61:30]not the drop.

[61:31]Amaro is usually like a,

[61:32]you know,

[61:33]40 proof or 80 proof type of thing that you pour in like an ounce.

[61:36]Not enough to make you kiss a badminton coach.

[61:38]I'll tell you that.

[61:42]How many pumps do you need to have to get some badminton coach?

[61:45]Sweetie,

[61:46]listen,

[61:47]I know it looks bad.

[61:48]Okay.

[61:49]But I was on bitters.

[61:52]Hey,

[61:56]extra bitters on the next round.

[61:58]I did.

[61:58]I did once.

[61:59]I was at this bar in Oakland called the nightlight.

[62:01]I think we were there maybe one time on a,

[62:04]you know,

[62:04]Saturday before noon.

[62:06]And this is before kids.

[62:07]And we were at the bar and this guy walks in and he's like,

[62:11]I'm,

[62:11]my stomach's hurting.

[62:12]And I just get a shot of bitters.

[62:13]And the bartender was like,

[62:15]okay.

[62:15]And took the,

[62:16]the,

[62:17]yeah,

[62:17]took the Angostura bottle,

[62:19]dashed out a full shot full of Angostura bitters.

[62:23]The guy took the shot and just walked right out.

[62:25]No way.

[62:26]100%.

[62:27]I saw it with my own eyes.

[62:28]The man took a shot of bitters.

[62:30]He's like,

[62:30]I'm off to make my almanac.

[62:32]My name is Ben Franklin.

[62:33]Hello everybody.

[62:34]The last person to drink bitters for being sick.

[62:36]Like what is he?

[62:37]Oh,

[62:37]I've got a bad case of consumption.

[62:39]You know,

[62:39]like what the fuck?

[62:40]Where are you?

[62:41]And the,

[62:42]the bartender didn't even act like he was that weird.

[62:43]He was like,

[62:43]yeah,

[62:44]this is the guy who comes in and like gets his shot of bitters.

[62:46]Like you guys know,

[62:46]like if you go to a bar before noon,

[62:48]like you're going to see some weird people.

[62:49]Yeah.

[62:49]And I know because I used to spend time in those places.

[62:52]The chance of you seeing somebody wear aqua socks as regular shoes is much higher before

[62:57]noon at the bar.

[62:57]It's like,

[62:59]bro,

[62:59]those are aqua socks.

[63:00]They're not even shoes for the bar.

[63:02]They're socks.

[63:03]It's aqua socks.

[63:05]Rob,

[63:06]do you think people who regularly wear aqua socks as their normal shoes rank higher or

[63:10]lower than you on the sex scale?

[63:12]Oh,

[63:12]I mean,

[63:14]that's confidence though,

[63:15]right?

[63:15]Like you're not going to step on something as you're walking to the bar because you can't

[63:19]drive anymore.

[63:20]You know what I mean?

[63:21]Like you,

[63:22]you're not going to wear regular shoes.

[63:24]You're going to wear aqua socks.

[63:25]The,

[63:25]the shoe that the only shoe I've ever had that broke apart because my toenails were

[63:29]too long.

[63:30]You ever do that?

[63:31]You put on an aqua sock and your toenail goes through the aqua sock and you're like,

[63:34]well,

[63:34]what the fuck?

[63:34]That was my shoe.

[63:36]Now I got to touch the bottom.

[63:38]You know what?

[63:39]By the way,

[63:39]I just want to say this real quick.

[63:40]I don't want to move on.

[63:42]Do you know how humiliating it is as a parent to not like touching the bottom of

[63:45]the lake?

[63:45]Like your kids are in there like,

[63:47]it was seaweed.

[63:48]And you're like,

[63:48]Oh,

[63:48]grow up.

[63:49]But then as soon as you touch the bottom,

[63:50]you're not wearing shoes.

[63:51]You're like,

[63:51]Oh God,

[63:52]Oh God,

[63:53]I'm going to die.

[63:53]This is so gross.

[63:54]But you have to do it.

[63:55]They're like,

[63:56]dad,

[63:57]dad,

[63:57]come under the dock with me.

[63:58]And I'm like,

[63:58]Oh no,

[63:59]it's gross under the dock.

[64:00]I'd never go under there.

[64:01]And I have to go in there and pretend like I'm having fun,

[64:03]but really it's gross under there.

[64:04]Ugh.

[64:04]I'm a coward of a parent,

[64:07]a coward.

[64:07]So,

[64:12]there was also another person who was inspired by Elvis Costello.

[64:15]It was Beck.

[64:16]He actually covered this song,

[64:17]pump it up at a concert.

[64:18]You guys going to check this out.

[64:19]See,

[64:25]it is a good song.

[64:26]It's fun.

[64:27]And it's interesting because I think we were talking about this is Elvis

[64:32]Costello was real name or not.

[64:34]Rob,

[64:34]did you ever figure it out?

[64:35]It may or may not be a bit for the end of the show,

[64:38]but his real name is Declan McManus.

[64:40]Declan McManus.

[64:42]So he actually changed his name.

[64:43]And it turns out Beck also changed his name too.

[64:46]Did you guys know that?

[64:47]What?

[64:47]His name's not Beck Odele?

[64:49]His name is Beck,

[64:50]but it was spelled B-E-K at birth.

[64:52]And he added the C to make it easier for people to pronounce and understand.

[64:57]Okay.

[64:58]How thoughtful of him.

[64:59]Should we be calling this show?

[65:01]Beck did it better.

[65:01]So I got to ask you guys,

[65:04]when it comes to people who have changed their name,

[65:06]who love covering,

[65:07]pump it up,

[65:08]who did it better?

[65:09]Beck did it better.

[65:12]Oh my God.

[65:16]The pen guy was like,

[65:17]you better fucking not.

[65:19]That's my deal,

[65:20]baby.

[65:20]All right.

[65:24]Is it the pen guy or is that a razor guy too?

[65:26]Whoa,

[65:28]you've,

[65:28]he just blew my fucking mind,

[65:30]Russell.

[65:30]So was the,

[65:31]was the booze and vinyl,

[65:32]was that literally just a,

[65:34]a root beer float with a little bitters or was there some booze in there?

[65:38]I put in the bitters that realized like,

[65:40]well,

[65:40]what's the point?

[65:40]So I,

[65:41]I don't,

[65:41]I don't,

[65:42]I don't really get it.

[65:42]So if I didn't have the Amaro,

[65:44]I think it's a loser of a drink.

[65:45]Don't you think?

[65:46]Well,

[65:47]no Amaro,

[65:47]then it's just a root beer float.

[65:49]Yeah.

[65:49]It was a root beer float.

[65:50]I mean,

[65:51]that sounds nice.

[65:52]I like root beer floats.

[65:53]Now,

[65:54]it's a bummer of a drink because,

[65:56]it's a bummer of a drink because instead of just being hung over the next day,

[65:58]you have mind bending diarrhea for the next 18 hours while you process that milk that you ate.

[66:03]I had a couple of nights in my life drinking root beer schnapps with Russell.

[66:06]Now,

[66:07]if you're going to throw some root beer schnapps in there,

[66:08]you might really have a night,

[66:10]but I,

[66:10]what are you,

[66:11]are you guys root beer barrel guys ever drop a root beer shot of root beer schnapps into the beer and chug the beer?

[66:15]I've never done that.

[66:17]No,

[66:18]I've seen people do that.

[66:19]I've never,

[66:19]but I think one of the first things I ever drank was like root beer schnapps and it's just sugar,

[66:24]right?

[66:25]I mean,

[66:25]it's just unbelievably.

[66:26]Yeah.

[66:27]So I've got,

[66:28]I got triggered when you said that right away,

[66:30]root beer schnapps.

[66:32]You know,

[66:32]I can't drink root beer schnapps after a,

[66:34]what was it?

[66:35]It was a bachelor party I went to at camping.

[66:36]And at one point at night,

[66:38]I was just going around opening up people's car doors,

[66:40]apparently.

[66:41]Not good.

[66:42]Good way to get shot when you're out in rural Wisconsin.

[66:45]I'll tell you that right now.

[66:46]Not great.

[66:46]You just can't even imagine.

[66:50]I can't even think about it.

[66:52]Hello.

[66:53]But Russell,

[66:54]I'm coming back to that Bic pen,

[66:55]Bic razor thing.

[66:56]Cause you have,

[66:56]it'll blow your mind,

[66:58]won't it?

[66:58]Yeah,

[66:58]it really does.

[66:59]Little triggers.

[67:00]This is my favorite song on the album because I'm a sucker for a pop waltz.

[67:07]Like you put a waltz and a little bit of soul back out.

[67:10]This is one of the,

[67:10]one of the corniest songs on the album,

[67:12]Aaron.

[67:12]Really?

[67:13]A little triggers that you pull with your tongue,

[67:15]little Sniggers on your lips,

[67:18]little triggers in your grips,

[67:19]little triggers,

[67:20]my hand on your hip.

[67:21]I mean,

[67:21]that's all rain stuff.

[67:22]Cute.

[67:23]That's kind of sweet.

[67:24]I read that.

[67:27]This was like a lot of people think this is a very misogynistic album.

[67:30]You guys listen to the lyrics and you understand what this album was about,

[67:34]or I didn't really understand any of it.

[67:36]I wasn't following most of the lyrics.

[67:38]No,

[67:38]I like now that Rob says it's misogynist and you,

[67:40]you mentioned it,

[67:41]Russell,

[67:41]I feel bad that I didn't pick up on that because I really didn't.

[67:44]I didn't understand.

[67:46]I didn't understand the meaning of it the whole time.

[67:48]Yeah.

[67:48]And he's just a horny guy.

[67:50]I think like,

[67:51]I mean,

[67:52]listen to these song titles,

[67:53]ready?

[67:53]No action,

[67:54]the beat,

[67:57]pump it up,

[67:58]pump it up.

[67:59]And then my nickname in high school,

[68:01]little triggers,

[68:02]you know what I mean?

[68:03]Like,

[68:03]well,

[68:05]well,

[68:05]I suppose the next song makes it pretty clear.

[68:07]This could be misogynistic.

[68:09]You belong to me.

[68:10]Okay.

[68:10]Yep.

[68:11]Not,

[68:11]not so great.

[68:11]Your eyes are asleep.

[68:13]Your mouth is silent pumping like a fire hydrant.

[68:15]Listen to that keyboard.

[68:17]Yeah.

[68:18]Actually the artist that I thought about a lot when listening to this album was

[68:21]Prince and Prince's first album would have come out a year after this.

[68:26]Right.

[68:26]And I think he was responding to a lot of this and probably thinking he could do

[68:30]it better,

[68:31]but you know what band I was thinking of the J Giles band.

[68:35]Oh,

[68:35]yes.

[68:36]Yeah.

[68:36]Yeah.

[68:37]Right.

[68:37]Yeah,

[68:37]totally.

[68:38]It's it is.

[68:40]It's the J Giles.

[68:41]Yes,

[68:41]you're right.

[68:41]But you know,

[68:43]it's kind of Prince J Giles.

[68:44]I mean,

[68:46]a little bit of this,

[68:46]a little bit of that.

[68:47]Some people have a Prince tattoo.

[68:50]Some people have a J Giles band tattoo,

[68:51]their famous symbol.

[68:52]Excuse me.

[68:54]I'm the band formerly known as J Giles.

[68:56]Those are the same people wearing aqua socks to the bar in the morning too.

[69:01]Hopefully their nails are trimmed.

[69:03]I think for a long time,

[69:05]I thought it was just a guy named J Giles,

[69:06]like J A Y Giles,

[69:08]but it was just an initial,

[69:10]right?

[69:10]It's just,

[69:11]it wasn't,

[69:11]his name wasn't J.

[69:12]I actually thought,

[69:14]you know what I,

[69:15]you know what I really thought,

[69:16]you know what I really thought,

[69:18]Aaron,

[69:18]and this is crazy,

[69:19]but I thought the J Giles band was about where lawyers for the Navy,

[69:23]get married,

[69:26]the J Giles,

[69:27]the J Giles.

[69:29]All right.

[69:30]Hand in hand.

[69:31]Okay,

[69:35]good.

[69:36]Oh my God.

[69:36]It's amazing.

[69:40]Come with me.

[69:41]Once this kicks in,

[69:45]it's another catchy song.

[69:46]Yes.

[69:46]The Phil Spector playbook,

[69:49]right?

[69:49]You mentioned Phil Spector,

[69:51]Rob,

[69:51]maybe can you just go to the intro?

[69:52]I thought one of the cool parts of the album was kind of the guitar feedback at the beginning.

[69:55]I read it.

[69:56]It's kind of similar to like the Beatles or Hendrix.

[69:58]Yeah,

[69:58]I think they're playing at the very beginning.

[69:59]Oh yeah,

[70:00]yeah,

[70:00]yeah.

[70:01]Yeah,

[70:03]it's very Beatles to me.

[70:04]You're right,

[70:04]Russell.

[70:05]This seemed different than most of the rest of the album.

[70:09]Yeah,

[70:09]and then he goes straight into like the Ronette's drums to like a leader of the pack or whatever.

[70:15]I mean,

[70:16]the Beatles were kind of the original Jake Isles band.

[70:18]If you think about it,

[70:19]really,

[70:19]I don't want to go to Chelsea.

[70:21]Now,

[70:22]this was not on the American pressing of the album because we would never be able to figure

[70:26]out what the song was about.

[70:27]So they didn't want to show it to us.

[70:28]Americans.

[70:29]This isn't reggae,

[70:33]reggae,

[70:34]reggae.

[70:35]I think it's Scott,

[70:35]Scott,

[70:36]Scott,

[70:36]Scott.

[70:37]Yeah,

[70:38]definitely that same,

[70:39]same thing the Clash were doing at the time,

[70:41]right?

[70:41]Probably others.

[70:42]Patti Smith,

[70:43]same thing.

[70:43]It's interesting.

[70:44]There's so many different kinds of music on this lip service.

[70:47]Oh,

[70:52]some hand claps.

[70:52]I heard those too.

[70:54]Yeah.

[70:55]I read this is about going down on someone.

[70:57]So,

[71:02]something to think about.

[71:04]Generous of him.

[71:05]Matt,

[71:06]what do you think of this?

[71:07]Like,

[71:07]this new wave music,

[71:09]have you ever,

[71:09]are you into this type of music or not?

[71:11]Technically,

[71:13]yes,

[71:14]but not Elvis Costello.

[71:15]I mean,

[71:16]it feels like a very nerdy form of what a lot of these groups are doing,

[71:22]you know,

[71:23]including like the cure and,

[71:26]uh,

[71:27]uh,

[71:28]what,

[71:29]who's the talking heads,

[71:30]you know,

[71:31]and some of these other ones,

[71:32]like Jay Giles band,

[71:33]uh,

[71:34]the Beatles,

[71:35]Rolling Stones,

[71:37]Elvis,

[71:39]Presley name them all,

[71:41]right?

[71:41]Like,

[71:41]yeah,

[71:42]no,

[71:42]you know,

[71:43]but so like,

[71:43]I,

[71:43]it just,

[71:44]it just doesn't resonate with me.

[71:46]And I feel like Elvis Costello is like this cartoon character who's I don't get,

[71:53]I don't know.

[71:54]I mean,

[71:54]it kind of just seems,

[71:55]seems like he's talented,

[71:56]but it just doesn't resonate with me.

[71:58]So like I said,

[71:59]I was surprised and Rosie and I on our secret text chain,

[72:02]we were talking about this album during this week here,

[72:04]you know,

[72:05]that I actually didn't mind listening to it.

[72:08]Uh,

[72:09]when I was just sitting at work,

[72:10]you know,

[72:11]it was fine.

[72:11]It was good.

[72:12]I can see what people like it.

[72:13]That kind of a thing seems like it's kind of like a,

[72:15]an Eagles kind of a thing.

[72:17]And everybody rips on the Eagles,

[72:19]right?

[72:19]But like they have such a wide variety of music that everybody can listen to that is almost bland.

[72:25]And that's what I think this one is like.

[72:27]It's almost like so bland and poppy and like just kind of basic,

[72:32]maybe more than anything that like anybody can listen to it and find a song or two that they like.

[72:36]And that's probably why he's so popular because it's,

[72:38]it's just,

[72:39]it's not bad music.

[72:40]It's okay.

[72:41]I'm telling you though,

[72:42]this is one of the easiest albums to do research on because the people online are gushing about it.

[72:45]I mean,

[72:46]like writing treaties on every song.

[72:48]Like it's crazy how much people are into this album.

[72:50]Yes.

[72:51]It was simple to find stuff on this.

[72:53]I mean,

[72:53]it's crazy.

[72:54]Matt had mentioned the Eagles and how everyone liked it.

[72:56]It turns out one person who didn't like it was Elvis Costello.

[72:59]When I was reading about the album,

[73:00]I read that the cover of the album,

[73:02]he's kind of sitting there with,

[73:03]I don't know if it's a camera or what,

[73:04]but he's kind of looking angry and supposedly to get angry for the photo and the

[73:08]album,

[73:09]he listened to hotel California by the Eagles because he did not like the

[73:14]Eagles.

[73:14]So,

[73:15]so Aaron's dad,

[73:16]how do you like that?

[73:17]Which just makes me not like him even more.

[73:20]You know,

[73:20]he just seems like a pretentious little prick,

[73:23]you know,

[73:24]and we're not a negative,

[73:25]we're not a negative podcast.

[73:26]We're all about.

[73:28]We grew up listening to the Eagles a thousand times on the radio.

[73:31]And it was like back then it was like new stuff.

[73:33]Like you can't do that.

[73:34]Come on.

[73:34]You gotta,

[73:35]you gotta be down with the pop at the time.

[73:36]Living in paradise.

[73:38]This is also a little bit of Island influence,

[73:46]right?

[73:46]Yeah.

[73:48]Oh,

[73:51]kind of.

[73:52]Yeah.

[73:54]This is like when I was talking about this comes on and I'm like,

[73:56]well,

[73:56]I like this,

[73:56]but I'd rather this year toots and the maytals do it.

[73:59]Like I'm not.

[73:59]Yeah.

[73:59]Yeah.

[74:00]That's a great point.

[74:01]Lipstick Vogue.

[74:02]I like the drum.

[74:07]I mean,

[74:07]this is like the one song that I,

[74:08]it's pulled like,

[74:09]Oh,

[74:09]I could listen,

[74:10]you know,

[74:10]the drums on this song alone.

[74:12]But one of the people that were gushing online about this album said the

[74:17]drummer was so amazing and talked about one of the drum fills.

[74:19]And they said that the drum fill made,

[74:22]who was the,

[74:23]who was the drummer?

[74:24]We did cover it on the,

[74:25]the who?

[74:25]Keith moon.

[74:27]Keith moon.

[74:27]They said the drum fills on this make Keith moon sound like a kid tapping a

[74:31]pencil.

[74:32]Oh God.

[74:32]Oh really?

[74:33]And that angered me.

[74:34]Yeah.

[74:34]Yeah.

[74:35]That seems,

[74:36]I'm telling you people online fucking love it.

[74:38]I love this album.

[74:39]They go crazy.

[74:40]It's it's night rally.

[74:42]This was also not on the American pressing because it was all about fascism.

[74:44]Kind of taking a turn here.

[74:46]It's funny,

[74:48]but you never meet anybody in real life who's like a huge Elvis Costello fan,

[74:52]right?

[74:53]So it's just these internet people who are too afraid to tell you they

[74:59]actually are a fan.

[74:59]He's kind of also going kind of anti-establishment and anti-media,

[75:06]which was on the,

[75:08]also what this last song was about radio radio.

[75:11]Now check this out.

[75:12]Radio radio.

[75:13]This is the song.

[75:15]And it's pretty much about like how terrible media companies are.

[75:21]It's kind of what it's about.

[75:22]So Aaron,

[75:24]this is a song you hate.

[75:25]It's a little nerd.

[75:26]It's anti-radio.

[75:28]But what?

[75:28]How can you be anti-radio?

[75:29]Because they weren't playing his songs.

[75:32]Probably.

[75:32]Yeah.

[75:33]It was probably hard to find.

[75:34]I thought Cuba good and junior did a tasteful job of that movie.

[75:37]You know what I mean?

[75:38]How can you be anti-radio?

[75:38]There is a,

[75:40]but there is a,

[75:41]I will say there is a tradition of anti-radio songs,

[75:44]anti or pro independent radio songs like left of the dial by the

[75:52]replacements.

[75:53]Well,

[75:54]it's interesting right now.

[75:55]It sounds great.

[75:56]It's interesting.

[75:58]You bring this up actually,

[75:59]because I like this song.

[76:00]We have the first song I've liked by the replacement.

[76:02]I don't think he made either of Rob's songs.

[76:04]Did he?

[76:05]Elvis Costello was playing less than zero.

[76:08]On Saturday night live.

[76:10]And all of a sudden he said,

[76:12]he stopped in the middle of the recording live.

[76:14]And he said,

[76:15]I'm sorry,

[76:15]ladies and gentlemen,

[76:16]there's no reason to do this song here.

[76:17]And he broke into radio radio.

[76:19]And Lorne Michaels was furious that he would change it up like that.

[76:23]Just absolutely furious.

[76:25]And so Elvis Costello was banned from SNL.

[76:29]And in fact,

[76:30]he couldn't go back until he did on the 25th anniversary in 1999,

[76:34]where he interrupted the beastie boys and listen to what he says.

[76:38]I'm sorry,

[76:47]ladies and gentlemen,

[76:47]but there's just really no reason to do this song here tonight.

[76:50]One,

[76:50]two,

[76:51]three,

[76:51]four.

[76:51]And then he plays radio radio again with the beastie boys.

[76:56]The beastie boys are on the keyboards,

[76:57]on the,

[76:58]on the drum,

[76:58]and on the bass.

[77:00]That is cool.

[77:00]That is cool.

[77:01]It's an incredible show.

[77:02]That is cool.

[77:03]But he is like 57 years old in this.

[77:07]So he kind of comes out and he looks like,

[77:08]he looks old as shit,

[77:09]especially compared to the beastie boys.

[77:10]That is cool.

[77:11]I mean,

[77:12]they're just boys,

[77:12]but it got me thinking.

[77:14]What are some other famous people who have been banned by SNL?

[77:18]And we normally don't do a list.

[77:19]I know a band who's been banned by SNL.

[77:21]I know where this is going.

[77:22]Oh,

[77:23]Rob,

[77:23]you're doing fan service right now.

[77:25]You're giving our fans lip service,

[77:27]right?

[77:27]Pump it up.

[77:30]So the first one,

[77:33]the first one is in 1996,

[77:35]Steve Forbes,

[77:37]the Republican presidential candidate,

[77:38]who was a big fan of a flat tax,

[77:40]which is so weird because he was a billionaire.

[77:41]Why would a billionaire want a flat tax?

[77:43]I don't get it.

[77:43]It doesn't make sense to me.

[77:44]I don't do a lot of math.

[77:45]Anyway,

[77:46]who do they have as a,

[77:48]who do they have as a musical guest?

[77:49]Who would love a Republican presidential candidate more than anyone else?

[77:53]Rage Against the Machine.

[77:55]Yes,

[77:56]they had Rage Against the Machine on,

[77:57]and they came out and hung American flags upside down on their amplifiers in protest.

[78:02]And they were actually taken down before the show,

[78:05]but here is Rage Against the Machine immediately after,

[78:08]after this performance,

[78:10]they were asked to leave and they were banned from SNL.

[78:12]These guys rock so fucking hard.

[78:15]They've canceled their concert like three years in a row now.

[78:21]And I can't wait to see them live.

[78:24]Is Tom Morello playing with them again?

[78:26]Yeah.

[78:27]Oh yeah.

[78:28]Oh,

[78:28]Tom Morello said,

[78:29]you know,

[78:30]quote,

[78:31]Saturday Night Live is reportedly a cutting edge show,

[78:33]but they prove their bootlickers to their corporate masters when it comes down to it.

[78:36]They're cowards.

[78:37]Oh,

[78:38]they're cowards.

[78:38]I don't think of SNL.

[78:39]When you call somebody a coward,

[78:41]oh,

[78:41]it's the ultimate insult nowadays,

[78:43]isn't it?

[78:44]Where it's like,

[78:44]you coward.

[78:45]When musicians go on SNL now,

[78:46]is it still a big deal or not?

[78:48]Kind of not really,

[78:51]but it's,

[78:51]it's so sterile and so set up.

[78:55]And so,

[78:56]I mean,

[78:56]I don't know.

[78:56]It takes a lot to get like a really cool song or set or however you want to say it to me anyways.

[79:03]And then they come up every once in a while.

[79:05]Somebody does like a really cool arrangement or a really cool cover.

[79:08]And you're like,

[79:09]well,

[79:09]that was pretty sweet.

[79:10]But then,

[79:10]you know,

[79:11]most new artists are just trying to sell their song.

[79:14]So they're trying to play one of their songs.

[79:15]I think,

[79:16]I don't know if Lady Gaga did one recently that was like just completely off the wall,

[79:21]right?

[79:21]Like she doesn't need to sell any albums or anything.

[79:23]So she comes on and she could do something cool.

[79:26]And so when that happens,

[79:27]yeah,

[79:27]it's fun.

[79:28]But like,

[79:28]rarely does that happen because probably because of Lorne Michaels and he's got to set them

[79:32]up with her,

[79:33]you know,

[79:34]whatever they're trying to sell.

[79:34]It's the same.

[79:35]I saw Kendrick this year and Kendrick,

[79:37]I didn't love his,

[79:38]his new album,

[79:39]but he did the same thing where he did something sort of art concept that was interesting

[79:44]because it's Kendrick.

[79:45]He can do what he wants.

[79:45]And then I saw Drake and 21 Savage,

[79:47]which is like a fascinating collaboration,

[79:49]but I didn't really love the performance.

[79:51]I'll tell you the best Saturday Night Live concerts you'll ever see is,

[79:54]I've said it before,

[79:55]it's Spoon and it's The Killers.

[79:57]Look it up.

[79:58]Very,

[79:58]very,

[79:59]very good.

[79:59]Another person banned from SNL.

[80:02]Okay.

[80:02]Cause I know you guys are into this list.

[80:03]Banned.

[80:04]They're banned from SNL.

[80:05]I am into this list cause I got to get to the one I want to hear.

[80:08]And I,

[80:08]and I,

[80:09]I was,

[80:09]I was like,

[80:09]boy,

[80:10]I'm trying to do some research on people who are banned.

[80:11]I'll watch the last waltz because I heard it's all about the band.

[80:14]And it was not what I expected.

[80:17]Turns out that's my bad.

[80:19]Okay.

[80:20]I'm a phone.

[80:20]Frank Zappa,

[80:23]a person who we have not talked about,

[80:24]who I'm actually kind of a fan of until I listened to some stuff.

[80:27]And I'm like,

[80:27]I'm not a fan of this at all,

[80:28]but he was a host and he was terrible.

[80:30]Listen.

[80:30]Thank you.

[80:31]And remember,

[80:31]I'm reading this off these cards underneath this camera here.

[80:34]They let him host.

[80:35]It's an awesome.

[80:36]This was like in 76 or something.

[80:38]And he was terrible.

[80:40]I'm not even going to play it because it's so bad.

[80:41]And apparently he was so bad.

[80:43]He never came to practice.

[80:44]He was awful.

[80:44]He was so bad that at the end,

[80:46]when they say good night,

[80:47]a number of the,

[80:48]of the staff members or cast members did not come out to wave goodbye to the

[80:54]crowd.

[80:54]That's how bad he was.

[80:55]They're like,

[80:55]we're not putting up with this.

[80:56]It's,

[80:57]I don't know enough about Frank Zappa.

[80:59]This seems like a New York thing.

[81:00]This seems like a,

[81:01]he's cool in New York or something like that.

[81:04]He was a California guy.

[81:06]I think they just thought,

[81:07]yeah,

[81:07]I think they thought it was going to be real.

[81:08]He's really subversive.

[81:09]And it turns out he's like,

[81:10]but he's kind of like,

[81:11]yeah,

[81:11]he's kind of like an Andy Warhol type where like everybody knows the name,

[81:14]but they don't know who the hell he is or what he is.

[81:16]They just know that he's kind of this cult figure in some circles and things.

[81:20]And so there's a really good documentary that came out last year about him.

[81:23]If you want to see it,

[81:23]it's,

[81:24]it's,

[81:24]it explains who he is really pretty well.

[81:25]Yeah.

[81:26]It's cool.

[81:26]It's really,

[81:26]yeah.

[81:27]Now probably the most famous person banned from Saturday night live in our

[81:32]lifetime is,

[81:34]uh,

[81:34]uh,

[81:35]Sinead O'Connor.

[81:38]Okay.

[81:38]Oh yeah.

[81:39]Sinead O'Connor,

[81:40]uh,

[81:41]came out.

[81:41]Do you remember what song she was doing at the time?

[81:43]I recommend you go look it up.

[81:44]It was actually really good.

[81:45]Was it nothing compares to you?

[81:47]No,

[81:47]it was acapella.

[81:48]Bob Marley war.

[81:49]Whoa.

[81:50]She was doing it.

[81:51]No music,

[81:52]just saying it.

[81:52]And apparently,

[81:53]and of course at the end she says,

[81:55]uh,

[81:55]no,

[81:56]who the real enemy is.

[81:57]And she rips up a picture of the Pope.

[81:58]Here it is.

[82:08]Fight the real enemy.

[82:13]Holy shit.

[82:14]If you're sitting there thinking to yourself,

[82:16]wow,

[82:16]I wish I was watching the video.

[82:17]Like these guys are during the podcast.

[82:19]We're actually not,

[82:19]we're actually also listening to it,

[82:20]which is a little weird that we're all sitting around listening to a cassette

[82:23]tape as we do this.

[82:24]But,

[82:25]uh,

[82:25]yeah,

[82:25]she ripped up a picture of the Pope and then,

[82:27]uh,

[82:27]it kind of was like a,

[82:28]it was a huge deal and she was banned forever.

[82:30]Apparently he was,

[82:31]he was absolutely furious about it.

[82:32]But,

[82:32]uh,

[82:33]I think the real thing that people forget there is that the version of war

[82:37]by Bob Marley,

[82:37]she was doing was banned forever.

[82:38]It was a baller.

[82:39]Go listen to it.

[82:39]It was very,

[82:40]very good.

[82:40]I'm going to get us banned because the real thing people forget is that the

[82:43]Pope knows where those people are.

[82:44]Like just fucking release the names of the people you're hiding.

[82:47]You dipshit.

[82:48]And then you wouldn't have to ban people from Saturday Night Live.

[82:50]Yeah,

[82:52]but they do a lot of good too.

[82:53]They do a lot of good too,

[82:55]Aaron.

[82:55]Yeah,

[82:55]right.

[82:56]Okay.

[82:56]Have you ever been to the Vatican?

[82:57]There's some nice,

[82:58]there's some cool ass shit in that place,

[82:59]man.

[83:00]I mean,

[83:01]really,

[83:01]if you think about it,

[83:02]it's kind of the original MTV Cribs.

[83:04]All right.

[83:05]Over here is my reliquary.

[83:08]Reliquary.

[83:08]Oh,

[83:09]I was trying.

[83:10]That's fucking Mark's finger,

[83:11]dude.

[83:12]That shit,

[83:12]that is Mark's finger.

[83:13]Oh,

[83:15]I love reliquaries.

[83:16]One of my favorite things.

[83:16]Another group,

[83:18]banned.

[83:18]Banned.

[83:19]Banned in the USA.

[83:21]Aaron,

[83:22]DJ Muggs.

[83:23]Who am I talking about?

[83:23]Cypress Hill.

[83:24]Yes.

[83:25]He lit a J on stage.

[83:27]Oh,

[83:28]plan J.

[83:29]Come on.

[83:31]Piece of shit start.

[83:32]Once again,

[83:32]Cypress Hill.

[83:33]And he says,

[83:34]they won't let me light a joint,

[83:35]so I'm going to.

[83:38]I'm going to light my joint,

[83:39]you know what I'm saying?

[83:40]But we ain't going out like that.

[83:41]We ain't going out like that.

[83:43]And apparently,

[83:44]everyone else in the band had agreed.

[83:46]They said,

[83:46]okay,

[83:46]you guys can smoke in the green room,

[83:48]but not anywhere else.

[83:49]And the band said,

[83:50]we should let a joint on stage.

[83:52]DJ Muggs said that.

[83:53]And the band was like,

[83:53]no,

[83:53]it's a terrible idea.

[83:54]And he was like,

[83:54]okay.

[83:55]And then he goes out there and he's like,

[83:57]okay,

[83:57]fuck you guys.

[83:57]I'm going to light this joint on stage.

[83:59]And I was like,

[84:00]who would ever do that where they get advice from,

[84:03]you know,

[84:03]coworkers,

[84:04]creative people they work with,

[84:05]and they get good advice,

[84:06]and it's good advice,

[84:07]and they should follow it.

[84:08]And then they just can't.

[84:09]They can't.

[84:10]It's the nature of the beast that they cannot do

[84:12]what they're supposed to,

[84:13]like be nice to people or whatever.

[84:14]I learned recently that Be Real from Cypress Hill

[84:17]was like a low-key sex symbol.

[84:18]Like I always just thought of them as being like

[84:20]the band that smoked a lot of weed

[84:22]and made some,

[84:23]like two songs that I knew about.

[84:24]But apparently this guy was like

[84:26]turning the ladies' heads back there in the 90s.

[84:29]And I had no idea.

[84:29]Him and Method Man both.

[84:31]You know who else is a low-key sex symbol?

[84:33]Girl,

[84:35]I just want to be.

[84:36]Big love to you.

[84:37]The guy from Boyz II Men.

[84:39]He was in the lowest key all the time.

[84:41]Rob,

[84:43]where would the low-key Boyz II Men guy

[84:46]rank on the sex from one to 99 percentile?

[84:49]Girl,

[84:49]I just want to let you know,

[84:51]I'm a 99 percent.

[84:52]I'm very confident because I have huge balls.

[84:56]They're so big,

[84:57]I'm putting them in the bottom,

[84:58]bottom drawer.

[84:58]They're going in my pants drawer, baby.

[85:01]The pants drawer.

[85:02]You know that's on the bottom

[85:03]because that's where the pants are.

[85:05]Now that doesn't make sense, does it?

[85:06]Because your socks and underwear

[85:07]are always in the top drawer.

[85:08]Yet, where are you putting on your socks?

[85:10]On your feet.

[85:11]It should be the bottom drawer, folks.

[85:13]Let's get that switched around.

[85:14]Everybody move their sock drawer to the bottom.

[85:16]Right?

[85:19]That makes sense.

[85:20]It's just, hey, socks right there.

[85:21]Just put them on.

[85:22]Like I could put up,

[85:23]if you gave me $10,000 and said,

[85:27]you can have this,

[85:28]but you have to put on a pair of socks standing up.

[85:30]I'd be like, well, no, I can't.

[85:32]I know I can't.

[85:33]I can't put on a pair of socks standing up.

[85:36]But plan J has reached,

[85:39]we're here again.

[85:41]Could you put on a pair of socks right now standing up?

[85:43]I could, yeah.

[85:44]Rob, maybe that's why people wear socks at a fuck fest

[85:47]because it's so awkward.

[85:49]Like when you're done with the fuck fest,

[85:50]to be like, hey, I've got to go,

[85:52]can I go use that bench over there and sit down

[85:54]and put my socks on?

[85:55]If you're on one of those really short carpets,

[85:57]you know, like an outdoor, indoor, outdoor carpet

[85:58]and your taint hits that thing,

[86:00]you're like, this is the most uncomfortable.

[86:01]Oh, no.

[86:01]Or what's worse, your taint hits a shag carpet.

[86:05]Like it's really thick.

[86:06]You'd be like, oh, something.

[86:08]I'm leaving behind something here, I think.

[86:11]At least shoes, you can just slide those things on

[86:13]and you don't even have to tie them.

[86:15]You can just walk out of the fuck fest.

[86:16]But the socks, you literally would have to go sit down somewhere.

[86:19]You'd have to go sit down.

[86:20]I could not put on a pair of socks standing up.

[86:22]Does that mean I should go see a doctor?

[86:23]That probably means I should go see a doctor, right?

[86:25]I think that's a good test.

[86:26]If you can't put on a pair of socks,

[86:28]make a doctor's appointment today.

[86:29]Get that checked out.

[86:30]All right.

[86:31]And we all remember what we were talking about.

[86:33]It's the list.

[86:34]Okay.

[86:34]I'm waiting.

[86:36]Very cool list on the last song that everybody loves.

[86:39]They think it's a good idea.

[86:40]Very cool band.

[86:41]1986.

[86:43]The Pointer Sisters are coming to SNL.

[86:46]Okay.

[86:47]Well, what does Lorne Michaels hate more than anything else?

[86:50]Neutron dances.

[86:51]Sisters.

[86:52]No, I'm just kidding.

[86:53]I hate these fucking Neutron dances.

[86:57]I hate sisters.

[86:59]I hate Neutron.

[87:00]Wait, wait.

[87:01]Matt made such a good joke and Rob has no idea.

[87:03]They're just living in parallel universes.

[87:06]I'm going to edit this so my joke sounds good, too.

[87:09]I hate the Neutron dance, baby.

[87:13]Is that Lorne Michaels?

[87:14]What the fuck is a Neutron dance?

[87:16]That's a Pointer Sisters song.

[87:18]You don't know the Neutron dance?

[87:20]No, I don't.

[87:20]I don't know.

[87:21]Guess what we're doing now.

[87:22]Why did I ask?

[87:23]You might want to be like, oh, by the way,

[87:26]let's look at this video just real quick.

[87:28]Big, big shoulder pads.

[87:29]Huge shoulder pads.

[87:30]Has everyone been to the bathroom tonight?

[87:31]Okay.

[87:32]Why are you all jiggling?

[87:33]All right.

[87:34]The people are going to come in in five minutes.

[87:36]Okay.

[87:36]I don't get what's going on.

[87:37]You don't know the Neutron dance this time?

[87:40]No, I don't.

[87:40]But I'm glad you're playing it for me.

[87:42]Oh, okay.

[87:46]Very nice.

[87:46]Very nice.

[87:47]This is one of the greatest.

[87:55]Beverly Hills Cop, by the way.

[87:56]Soundtrack.

[87:57]So good.

[88:00]Now, listen.

[88:01]I always liked the Pointer Sisters when they weren't such a big group.

[88:06]They weren't so famous.

[88:07]They weren't so big.

[88:08]Back then, they were just the Pinky Sisters.

[88:10]But I didn't like it later when they were too vulgar and rude.

[88:15]They were the Middle Finger Sisters.

[88:16]All right.

[88:17]So, listen.

[88:18]1986.

[88:18]The Pointer Sisters cancel last minute.

[88:20]What happened when they were the Whole Fist Sisters?

[88:22]Listen, I went to that place in Vegas.

[88:27]That is not on the picture frame.

[88:30]We'll get in trouble if we go into the Whole Fist Sisters.

[88:32]Listen.

[88:33]Here's the deal.

[88:34]Pointer Sisters can't come in.

[88:36]The band cancels last minute.

[88:38]Oh, no.

[88:38]What are we going to do?

[88:39]Don't fit through the door.

[88:40]Shoulder pads.

[88:40]Too big.

[88:41]Can't get on stage.

[88:42]G.E. Smith, who blew my mind when I was watching VH1 and I realized the guy from Saturday Night

[88:46]Live was also the main guitar player in Hall & Oates.

[88:48]Okay.

[88:49]Blew my mind.

[88:50]Still blows my mind.

[88:51]But G.E. Smith says, hey, I got a band I love.

[88:53]Let's bring them in.

[88:54]So, they bring them in.

[88:55]The host is Harry Dean Stanton.

[88:56]This band comes in.

[88:57]They do great during the rehearsal.

[88:59]They go backstage into their dressing room.

[89:01]Get absolutely fucking blasted with Harry Dean Stanton.

[89:05]Just get fucking hammered.

[89:07]And on the way out, their guitarist, Bob Stinson, was so drunk that he fell.

[89:11]Bob Stinson.

[89:12]Stinson.

[89:13]Let me edit that.

[89:15]Stinson.

[89:18]Stinson.

[89:19]Okay.

[89:21]Here's the thing.

[89:22]I'm going to edit that in.

[89:23]It's going to sound great.

[89:23]He was so hammered that he fell and broke his guitar.

[89:26]He just fell on his guitar and broke it.

[89:28]Much like a lightsaber, maybe, that a kid's going to play with tomorrow.

[89:31]Maybe not pay attention.

[89:33]Just hope he gets to 12 hours.

[89:34]Smash it.

[89:35]Oh, maybe that's what I'm going for.

[89:36]Yes.

[89:37]The horn.

[89:38]The horn goes through an Alice Coltrane record that's smashed.

[89:41]Oh, no.

[89:42]They go out and they are fucking hammered.

[89:45]And they are so drunk that they are immediately banned from Saturday Night Live.

[89:48]Folks, it's the replacements.

[89:50]Yes.

[89:51]Listen to this.

[89:54]Oh, they're playing Kiss Me on the Bus.

[89:56]Oh, no.

[90:04]It's all so terrible.

[90:05]Darn it.

[90:07]He just yells darn it into the mic.

[90:09]Darn it.

[90:09]Almost like he's apologizing for maybe doing too much of something before or during the show.

[90:16]They were banned, huh?

[90:18]And unlike some people, they don't run the thing that they're doing.

[90:21]And so they can't get banned.

[90:22]I actually, some people can't get banned from things that they do.

[90:25]Maybe they go overboard.

[90:26]Do too much.

[90:27]But you have to have them around.

[90:29]I did know that story about the replacements, but to hear you tell it, Rob, was just marvelous.

[90:32]Thank you for doing that.

[90:34]I would say that was a top five list.

[90:38]Rob, that was a great list.

[90:40]What was your favorite joke from that list bit?

[90:47]Aaron, you go first.

[90:48]What was your favorite joke?

[90:49]It was the band that was banned.

[90:50]I kind of like the Pinky Sisters.

[90:55]I thought that was a good one.

[90:56]I like the Fist Sisters.

[90:59]That was a good one.

[91:00]That wasn't my joke.

[91:00]Okay, let's be clear.

[91:01]That was not mine.

[91:02]The idea of Rob being at a fuck fest.

[91:04]That was a good one.

[91:04]That was a good one.

[91:04]That was a good one.

[91:04]And being like, hey, I'm sorry.

[91:06]I know you don't want me sitting down on the edge of your bed here, but I need to sit down

[91:10]to put my socks on.

[91:12]You're the winner.

[91:16]Ding, ding, ding.

[91:17]Not being able to put on socks.

[91:18]It was the winner.

[91:18]Thank you.

[91:19]Like everybody's left the house, and it's just the whole voter sitting there waiting

[91:23]for Rob to leave, and he's like sitting there pulling his socks off.

[91:26]Yeah.

[91:27]Hey, can you take my socks off?

[91:28]No, no, no, no, no.

[91:29]You did this to me last time.

[91:30]You tricked me.

[91:31]I know you like it when I take your socks off.

[91:34]You sick of it.

[91:34]Go.

[91:34]No, it's not sexual.

[91:36]It just feels good.

[91:37]Yeah, right.

[91:37]That's what you said last time.

[91:38]Then you had to go in my bedroom, and you said you wanted to use my drawers.

[91:42]Now you're back.

[91:43]It's so strange.

[91:44]Let's talk.

[91:45]Let's write this up.

[91:45]If you went to one of those fuck fests, and people were into wet look, you might have

[91:49]to wear aqua socks.

[91:50]Listen, I love, I love when a woman and I can get in the water.

[91:59]We make sweet love to each other.

[92:01]Fool around a little bit.

[92:02]Just the, she's wet.

[92:04]Like, I'm covered in water, wet hair, but then I'm touching the bottom.

[92:08]Ugh, gross.

[92:09]I better put on these aqua socks.

[92:13]The always fun sex in water.

[92:17]Oh, man, this is going to be awesome.

[92:19]No, it's not actually.

[92:21]All right, listen.

[92:21]Is this album at 121?

[92:24]Okay.

[92:25]And of course, is this album a rolling well-toned?

[92:27]It is perfect at 121.

[92:29]This is the kind of album where you simply put on the socks standing up,

[92:34]and you don't even think about it.

[92:35]You don't think about how maybe some people in your life can't do it.

[92:37]And now that they're realizing that, they're having thoughts about choices they've made

[92:40]in their life, okay?

[92:41]And it's not a big deal.

[92:42]That's a rolling well-toned.

[92:43]Is this album, should it have been higher up on the list?

[92:46]When we say higher up, it means we would have covered it already.

[92:49]It's kind of like we're going down the mountain.

[92:50]We're actually getting worse and worse.

[92:52]Hey, I climbed down Mount Everest.

[92:54]Said nobody you've ever heard of, because that's not something cool to do, except for

[92:57]us.

[92:57]We are going down, and this album should have been earlier.

[93:00]That means it got rolling boned.

[93:02]It should have been earlier on the list.

[93:04]We should have already covered it.

[93:04]We could have maybe done a back-to-back with Elvis and Elvis Costello, something to think

[93:08]about.

[93:08]Or is this album too high on the list?

[93:11]And when I say too high, the number is too low.

[93:15]So that higher, this is a rolling groan.

[93:17]Nobody likes it, okay?

[93:19]They think maybe we're talking too much about the album.

[93:21]We shouldn't spend this much time on the album.

[93:22]We should move along and do other things with our lives.

[93:24]Okay, I hear you.

[93:26]We're moving on right now.

[93:27]Let's make a big rush.

[93:28]Is this a rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan?

[93:31]Russell, what do you think?

[93:32]Rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan?

[93:34]This year's model.

[93:35]This one had a lot of catchy tunes on it.

[93:38]I could easily see, hey, if you have a playlist and pump it up, or one of these songs, come

[93:42]on, enjoying it for three or four minutes, moving on, and enjoying that as part of what

[93:47]you listen to occasionally.

[93:47]But for me, the whole album was a bit much.

[93:50]I like the bass.

[93:50]I like the organ.

[93:51]But the organ was just too much for me.

[93:54]I wanted to like it, but it was over the top.

[93:57]So I also, I got to say, this was probably one of the least inspired I've felt by any

[94:02]of the albums we've listened to.

[94:03]There was no...

[94:04]There was no part of me that wanted to read more about it, or read more about the music,

[94:07]or what was going into the inspiration behind it.

[94:10]And maybe that's just me, but this one wasn't for me.

[94:12]I'm going to say it's rolling groan, too high on the list.

[94:15]Hard to agree with that inspired, Russell.

[94:17]I totally agree.

[94:18]I kind of dreaded...

[94:19]I don't want to say I dreaded seeing you guys and talking about this, but I don't know what

[94:23]else to say.

[94:23]It's the way it was.

[94:24]Aaron, what do you think?

[94:25]Rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan?

[94:27]Yeah, I can't say it any better than Russell.

[94:29]Every one of these songs, if I heard it on a tone, would be fun and exciting.

[94:34]As a whole, I'm just not sure that top to bottom, it stacks up with other things we're

[94:39]going to hear and other things we have heard, so I'm going to give it a rolling groan.

[94:42]All right.

[94:44]Matt, rolling well-toned, rolling boned, or rolling groan?

[94:47]What do you think?

[94:47]I was surprised that I didn't mind the album when I was listening to it this week.

[94:54]And like I was texting with Rosie on our double secret text chain, the problem with

[94:58]this album is that there's just too much other things out there.

[95:04]It just takes a backseat to everything.

[95:06]And I think the uninspired that Russell talked about, that's the best way to describe it.

[95:13]It's very uninspiring.

[95:14]It's kind of like, okay, that's kind of cute.

[95:16]That's nice.

[95:16]So I, too, think rolling groan should be way down the list compared to a lot of the things

[95:22]that we're coming up against here in the next few weeks.

[95:25]Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect.

[95:27]I hate to say that to you.

[95:28]I really do.

[95:29]Guys, this is a rolling deck.

[95:34]This is a rolling deck clone.

[95:34]Yeah, his real name is Declan Patrick McManus.

[95:38]Now, this does sound like an album that a Declan Patrick McManus would make.

[95:42]Like if you said, hey.

[95:43]Is he Irish?

[95:44]I think he's English, but.

[95:47]Okay.

[95:48]I think he's British.

[95:48]Actually, I'm English.

[95:49]Yeah, his.

[95:51]Aaron kind of ruined my bit.

[95:54]I had a good joke at the end, and now I don't even want to say it.

[95:56]Born in London.

[95:57]Born in London, England.

[95:58]I'm serious.

[95:59]I had such a good joke, and it was so good.

[96:01]It's rolling deck clone.

[96:03]I just can't go back, though.

[96:06]I can't go back and redo it, so we're just going to skip it, okay?

[96:08]All right.

[96:09]Just imagine.

[96:10]I mean, it wasn't like Pinky Finger Sisters good, but it was good.

[96:14]Listen, next up.

[96:17]Okay.

[96:18]I've been wanting to say this to you guys for a while.

[96:21]Things are not good.

[96:24]But sometimes I hold back.

[96:27]I hold back with you guys.

[96:28]Sometimes I think things, and I don't say them, and I always regret it.

[96:32]I'm going to say this to you guys right now.

[96:33]I want to fuck you like an animal.

[96:35]Oh.

[96:36]I just have to pick the animal.

[96:39]Do you guys know any animals that get really tired and then cries and apologizes at the end?

[96:43]Oh, I'm sorry.

[96:45]Like a sloth or something.

[96:47]Yeah, sorry.

[96:47]Oh, I'm sorry.

[96:48]I know I have wide hips, and I sweat on you a little bit.

[96:50]That's my bad.

[96:51]Oh, I'm sorry.

[96:52]It's nine-inch nails.

[96:53]Downward spiral.

[96:55]Downward spiral.

[96:58]When you did that, you would stop beating it into the side or whatever we were talking about.

[97:03]You know what I'm talking about, right?

[97:04]It keeps beating you in the side.

[97:05]I was screwing the sidewalls.

[97:07]That was this episode.

[97:09]By the way, Aaron's screwing the sidewall story, this episode.

[97:12]I did it better.

[97:13]Where you thought it was going to be about Aaron changing a tire, but he never did?

[97:17]No.

[97:18]Like, that was the twist of that story.

[97:19]He's like, hey, did you change the tire?

[97:20]No.

[97:21]No, I didn't change the tire.

[97:22]He drove to the tire shop.

[97:23]What do you know?

[97:24]He didn't change the tire.

[97:24]He said, if you change the tire, he'd go to the tire shop.

[97:26]That's why you go to the store.

[97:27]First, I dropped off my kids.

[97:29]Then I went to the tire shop.

[97:30]And you know what's ironic about the guys in the tire shop?

[97:32]There's always coffee.

[97:33]Well, no wonder.

[97:34]They're tired.

[97:34]That was the joke at the end.

[97:40]I'm going to edit that into the deck line.

[97:41]Can we get our triangle at the end or not?

[97:45]It was really good.

[97:45]Oh, I thought you had, don't you have a bit, Russell?

[97:47]You're not going to.

[97:47]No, I got nothing.

[97:48]Okay.

[97:49]Let me look at the episode time.

[97:51]Ooh, hour 15.

[97:52]We just made it.

[97:53]Nailed it.

[97:54]So good.

[97:54]It's time to say.

[98:00]This is the greatest bet we've got.

[98:02]Stupid.

[98:11]Marvelous.