Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral (1994)

[00:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums

[00:04]as decided by Rolling Stone magazine.

[00:05]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music,

[00:08]excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast.

[00:11]We are far from experts.

[00:12]We promise to do almost no research.

[00:14]All opinions are our own, unless you disagree.

[00:17]Please sit back and enjoy.

[00:19]Beck did it better.

[00:21]We are all the way up to album 120.

[00:24]What is this?

[00:25]Is this 122?

[00:26]Really?

[00:26]Is that all?

[00:27]No.

[00:27]Let me check.

[00:29]Let me check real quick.

[00:30]I don't think that's right.

[00:31]Is it really?

[00:32]I thought we were way higher than that.

[00:34]We are all the way up to album 122.

[00:37]To be fair, Rob, you're way higher than that.

[00:40]To be fair, from 1994, it's the downward spiral by Nine Inch Nails.

[00:45]Unless it's out of a 100.

[00:47]If it's a 122 out of 100.

[00:48]Matt's making it harder and harder for me to edit this podcast.

[00:50]He's like, when can I hop in?

[00:52]Where Rob is really going to struggle to edit that part out.

[00:54]Okay.

[00:54]So listen, we are talking about Nine Inch Nails.

[00:57]Now, listen, guys, I think everybody

[00:59]knows this is getting released in about four days.

[01:02]That stresses me out.

[01:04]So this is kind of our holiday episode.

[01:06]So let's just do our holiday episode.

[01:08]Guys, I just want to tell you, it's another holiday spending with you.

[01:10]I'm so excited.

[01:12]I think this is great.

[01:15]You know, anything you guys want to talk about for the holidays here?

[01:18]Can I tell you a story about that?

[01:21]I was going to save this for my rolling gun, but can I tell you a thing that happened to

[01:24]me at my job?

[01:24]Sure.

[01:25]They did a year-end holiday party.

[01:28]Nice.

[01:29]Oh, year-end?

[01:30]Did you say year-end?

[01:31]A year-end.

[01:32]Not a year-end holiday party.

[01:32]Okay, never mind.

[01:33]Never mind.

[01:34]I thought you said a year-end, and then I thought you said rear-end.

[01:37]And I was excited about both those things.

[01:40]I mean, a year-end holiday party.

[01:41]And I think about you guys more than I should.

[01:45]I'm thinking about you all day, every day.

[01:46]But one of the people who was an executive director in my department decided that when

[01:52]she was giving her year-end recap, she would play the Jingle Bells.

[01:56]Oh.

[01:57]She would play the Jingle Bells song.

[01:59]And I was like, this sound.

[02:00]The whole time she was talking about her team's achievements.

[02:03]And I was dying.

[02:04]I love it.

[02:05]Just dying.

[02:06]I was like, I hope Rob plays these on the podcast.

[02:08]So wait, your holiday party, your manager, your upper middle management, but like the

[02:14]management gets up.

[02:15]So like the exact, then they start talking about all the good things.

[02:18]Like this is a fucking holiday party.

[02:19]Yes.

[02:20]And this is where they choose to like say like, well, Aaron, you know, he's got 13 direct

[02:25]reports and 11 of them are media expectations.

[02:29]So good job, Aaron.

[02:30]You know, that kind of thing.

[02:31]Yes.

[02:31]That's what happened.

[02:32]That's what happened.

[02:33]And she played the Jingle Bells on for five straight minutes.

[02:37]I'm totally stealing that.

[02:38]You got this.

[02:40]I'm just going to do that from now on at work, wherever I go, this is going to be played

[02:44]in the background.

[02:44]Zoom call.

[02:45]It's going.

[02:46]It makes you feel murderous after a while.

[02:48]You start to feel real crazy.

[02:50]Rob, can we make it a little jittery?

[02:52]You start to get a little jittery.

[02:53]No, we cannot make this little episode.

[02:54]It'll make these nine inch nail guys sound a little more appealing if this is going to

[02:58]be played in the background, right?

[02:59]I feel like you guys didn't jump into my urine holiday story.

[03:02]Joe's fit.

[03:03]I mean, I'm still drying off.

[03:06]Well, I mean, I was going to ask you, you know, we often have to explain it now for

[03:11]the kids that listen, particularly Brian's kid.

[03:13]So why would like a rear end?

[03:15]Why would that be something that you listen?

[03:18]Come to like Aaron.

[03:20]Unlike Aaron, I cannot get into my rolling going right now, but I am going to do my original

[03:24]bit that I was going to do before Aaron told a big story about the rear end review party.

[03:28]So check us out.

[03:29]Well, you asked us if we had anything to say about it.

[03:31]It's the holiday.

[03:32]Well, no, I did this for a reason here.

[03:33]And I actually plan stuff and make stuff and go ahead.

[03:36]But here's what I plan for today.

[03:37]You said you guys have anything to say.

[03:39]So I think this is a new holiday classic.

[03:41]So I'm so glad.

[03:42]Let's see.

[03:42]What album are we doing today for our holiday special?

[03:45]Oh, good.

[03:47]Yeah, it's nine inch nails.

[03:48]I think this goes along really well.

[03:49]This is going to bring us the holiday cheer for sure.

[03:52]It's almost time.

[03:56]Is it almost?

[03:56]It's I would say.

[03:58]Yeah, this is good.

[04:00]This is a good bit.

[04:01]Oh, boy.

[04:03]Rob's bit.

[04:03]Not as good as Aaron's shit.

[04:05]He came up with you're in a review party.

[04:08]My bit was about your bit.

[04:09]I know.

[04:10]But that your bit was better than my bit.

[04:12]It came out.

[04:13]Oh, dang it.

[04:14]It's like if you were one of those twins and you have the little twin growing off of you,

[04:17]you know, and then that little twin, everyone likes it more.

[04:20]They're like, hey, guy, that dude on your shoulder.

[04:23]He's great.

[04:24]And it's like that guy doesn't even have a name.

[04:26]He's he's an ingrown twin.

[04:28]Yeah.

[04:28]You know what I mean?

[04:29]He's got a little man disease and works harder than everyone.

[04:32]Yeah.

[04:32]He steals the basketball from people in the backcourt.

[04:35]Hey, don't put that scarf on me.

[04:36]They know I'm here.

[04:37]You know, wait, open your mind.

[04:40]Quaid.

[04:41]Anyway, listen, we don't have time for these stories.

[04:43]Okay.

[04:44]You have what you want.

[04:46]Don't give the people the air.

[04:48]Let's turn on the radio and let's have another fun song and a good bit that Rob actually

[04:52]is kind of questioning now whether it's going to work.

[04:55]Is this another scat man funeral?

[04:57]This is not.

[04:58]But I do have scat man funeral still up there.

[04:59]So we can hit that.

[05:00]Are you going to let me know when I should jump in and when I shouldn't?

[05:02]At this point, I would say jump in at any time and actually ignore any prompts I'm giving

[05:08]you because what I just came up with was very, very bad.

[05:11]Whereas you came up with both year end review party and rear end review party.

[05:16]Two hits that are going to last us the rest of this episode and possibly some future parody

[05:20]songs.

[05:21]Let's turn on K-Rob and see what's going on.

[05:25]What's up, everybody?

[05:26]Welcome to K-Rob.

[05:27]K-R-O-B.

[05:28]You know, the nicest thing you can say to somebody when they tell you they have a podcast

[05:31]is, what's it called?

[05:32]The second nicest thing is, what episode should I start with?

[05:35]Because I bet your early ones suck.

[05:37]Oh, yeah.

[05:38]I remember the other day I was telling someone about the podcast and I was blown away.

[05:57]Because this person actually asked, what's the funniest episode?

[06:07]What's the best place to begin?

[06:14]And I said, I don't know.

[06:20]But it got me to thinking.

[06:25]Go get him.

[06:27]It's even slower than this part.

[06:32]It's way slower than you think.

[06:33]Got me thinking.

[06:33]What was the best episode of Back to the Better?

[06:36]Well, there's just so many to think of.

[06:39]It's hard to narrow them down.

[06:42]Like 121 of them.

[06:43]Let's see if I can maybe just think of one.

[06:47]I mean, just one good one.

[06:48]That one would be hard, right?

[06:49]Which episode is number one?

[06:57]Which one would I recommend?

[07:01]Oh, yeah.

[07:03]I think Ziggy Stardust Bowie is fun.

[07:08]Yes.

[07:08]But so is Prince and Lady Soul by Franklin.

[07:13]Yes.

[07:15]Then there's James Brown at the Apollo.

[07:20]Andy Angelo and Hole have withstood.

[07:27]This is a hard list to write

[07:32]Cause no one's ever told us

[07:35]That an episode is good

[07:38]Well, maybe they will now

[07:43]Because we've changed our tune, right?

[07:44]We're going to be nice to the callers.

[07:46]So maybe they'll call in and tell us they appreciate it.

[07:48]And I want to invite all our fans

[07:49]To a live urine review.

[07:52]Okay, I will be turning on the Zoom.

[07:54]We'll do a live urine review.

[07:56]It's going to be a great time.

[07:57]I'm just repeating the joke, guys.

[07:58]I'm looking for any response besides blank stares.

[08:00]Hey, I think I came up with it, Rob.

[08:02]I think I came up with it.

[08:03]Who's going to run your urine review for that song?

[08:09]I like that.

[08:10]I like that.

[08:10]It's very good.

[08:11]Listen.

[08:11]You guys, is there a different way you go about these parties

[08:15]when it's a fiscal urine party?

[08:18]Oh, no.

[08:18]Wait, did you say fistle?

[08:20]A fistle urine party?

[08:22]A fistle rear end review?

[08:25]Fist chill.

[08:27]Yeah, well, a fistle rear end review.

[08:29]I had that the other day.

[08:30]I was only getting semi-annual fistle year end reviews.

[08:34]Now I've moved to quarterly.

[08:35]Oh, that's good.

[08:37]Mine's more like a half dollary,

[08:38]but I think that's good, actually.

[08:40]So here's the deal.

[08:41]Oh, God.

[08:42]If you're going to pay for it, right?

[08:46]I mean, you can probably go monthly if you wanted to, right?

[08:48]Calendar.

[08:49]So here's the deal.

[08:50]I went to the doctor and the doctor's like,

[08:52]your heart is so big.

[08:53]And I said, thank you so much.

[08:54]And I started to walk out and he said, no, wait.

[08:56]And I was like, you're not going to take my,

[08:57]wait, that's great.

[08:58]My old doctor was so concerned about it.

[08:59]That's a bit I did with my seventh graders today

[09:03]and they were mortified.

[09:04]They did not like the thought of their teacher

[09:06]dying of heart disease.

[09:07]All right, listen.

[09:08]I've got three guys here who called the band Nin.

[09:11]And they were wondering, when do these rats come in?

[09:14]You know what I mean?

[09:15]The rats of.

[09:15]Oh, I love that movie.

[09:17]I was talking about that the other day.

[09:18]I should, I wonder if that holds up.

[09:19]Is that on streaming anywhere?

[09:20]I'm, I'm sure that's not.

[09:22]They're dumping it.

[09:23]Just like every other HBO.

[09:24]I'm telling you.

[09:25]Terrifying.

[09:25]Illegally download shit.

[09:27]It's illegal.

[09:27]It's the only way to go.

[09:27]HBO is getting rid of Westworld.

[09:31]The first season of that was good

[09:33]and they're just dumping it for tax purposes.

[09:34]Listen, don't get, guys,

[09:36]don't get me started about thumbtacks.

[09:38]They're so expensive.

[09:39]Here's the deal.

[09:40]I've got three guys here.

[09:42]I've got Matt in Minneapolis.

[09:43]Matt, how are you doing?

[09:44]Just great, Rob.

[09:45]Thanks for having me.

[09:46]I've got Russell in Minnesota.

[09:47]Russell, how are you doing?

[09:49]Guys, what has this podcast become?

[09:51]My sweetest friends.

[09:52]Everyone knows that our downloaders go away

[09:55]and never listen till the end.

[09:57]But Rob, you could have it all.

[10:00]Dandelion greens from Aaron's dirt.

[10:02]Oh, yeah.

[10:03]Shove his feelings down.

[10:05]We'll laugh at your jokes so you don't hurt.

[10:07]Oh, my God.

[10:08]You guys are so sweet.

[10:09]That makes me so happy.

[10:10]You are a poet.

[10:11]You don't even know it, Russell.

[10:12]That was, you know, Russell, that was good.

[10:14]I'm going to give you a little jingle bells

[10:15]just as a gift for that.

[10:16]I was hoping we could play the music in the background

[10:19]and I could do it in a creepy voice.

[10:21]What's he building in there?

[10:23]And then, of course, I've got Aaron out in California.

[10:27]Now, Aaron, here's the deal, Aaron.

[10:29]Did you hear, and I'm being serious right now,

[10:33]did you hear that a Mariah Carey fan

[10:35]gave her an acre of land in California as a gift?

[10:39]An acre?

[10:40]Yeah, to Mariah Carey, gave her an acre of land.

[10:44]You know what her response was?

[10:46]And I don't want a lot for Christmas.

[10:53]A lot for Christmas.

[10:54]I've got Aaron in California.

[10:56]Aaron, how are you doing?

[10:57]I'm doing great.

[10:58]I don't want to tell you that I want to fuck you like an animal.

[11:01]I'm trying to avoid using that quote.

[11:03]We couldn't even make it that far without someone doing it.

[11:06]I knew it.

[11:06]I knew it, you dummies.

[11:08]I thought you were going to do the sound of metal screeching on metal,

[11:10]which is also a big part of this album.

[11:12]So listen, let's get right into it.

[11:14]Let's get right into our voicemail.

[11:18]Your gentler voicemail hand.

[11:20]And I'm trying to find a song that's not that bad.

[11:23]Rob, you're not going to let our listeners violate you, are you?

[11:26]No.

[11:27]You're not going to let our listeners desecrate you, are you?

[11:31]Desecrate you.

[11:31]Rob, are our listeners going to complicate you?

[11:34]Rob, don't let them penetrate you.

[11:38]Okay, well.

[11:39]Listen, I love the listeners.

[11:41]They can do whatever they want.

[11:42]As long as they're leaving voicemails, they can penetrate me all day and most of the day.

[11:46]Hey guys, Aaron from Minneapolis.

[11:49]I heard that a person could call in without being insulted, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

[11:54]I know you're talking about nine-inch nails.

[11:57]And I was thinking about, I had a barbecue this summer.

[12:01]I think Matt and his family were there.

[12:04]I was playing my usual entertaining mix of 90s alt-rock and Closer came on, which is a great song.

[12:13]But I quickly realized I should probably track it with so many small children around.

[12:17]So I wanted to ask you guys, what's your approach with explicit content in music and kids?

[12:24]Do you just let it roll?

[12:27]Is there an age when it's okay?

[12:29]Or do you kind of go with the, this is all art, so it's fine approach?

[12:34]I don't think my parents ever paid attention to what I was listening to.

[12:38]Good question.

[12:39]So I think it was different for us.

[12:41]We listened to all sorts of nasty language in our music.

[12:45]But just wondering what your thoughts are on that.

[12:48]Thanks, guys.

[12:49]Bye.

[12:49]I have two great jokes and then a statement.

[12:52]All I want to do is zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, and a boom, boom.

[12:55]See, there's much more.

[12:57]You were poetic back then.

[12:58]Yeah.

[12:58]Number one.

[12:59]I like big butts and I cannot lie.

[13:01]My invitation to that barbecue, okay, is a lot like my last doctor's exam.

[13:05]It must have gotten lost in the mail.

[13:07]You know what I mean?

[13:08]Like, I didn't get it.

[13:09]Second of all.

[13:11]You lost your doctor's exam in the mail?

[13:14]No, the doctor put his hand in my butt.

[13:16]I didn't.

[13:17]What?

[13:18]I was going to let the listeners penetrate me.

[13:20]I was going to say that, but I didn't feel dirty saying that, especially after that.

[13:23]I do want to say, I think that's one of the best calls we've ever had.

[13:25]Number one.

[13:26]They're looking.

[13:27]Somehow they're looking ahead.

[13:28]I don't even get how that works because we haven't even released.

[13:30]Yeah, that's very thoughtful of this listener.

[13:31]No, we have.

[13:32]So they're looking ahead.

[13:33]They're calling about it, and they ask a great question.

[13:36]That was one of the best calls literally that we've ever had, and it's not just me.

[13:38]They're on the journey with us.

[13:39]Every time I compliment the callers, it sounds so sarcastic.

[13:42]I want to be very clear.

[13:43]I love our callers.

[13:44]They bring me a lot of joy.

[13:45]Thank you so much for calling.

[13:48]Okay?

[13:49]We really appreciate it.

[13:51]Okay?

[13:51]And that was a very good call.

[13:52]Those idiots he will make fun of.

[13:54]But if you call, you're good.

[13:56]Right, Rob?

[13:56]Well, I do.

[13:57]I do love you more if you call.

[13:58]It's true.

[13:58]It's a lot easier to not run into a system.

[13:59]So that's a good question.

[13:59]How do you guys take the...

[14:01]You guys all have kids that are kind of at that age where if they hear it, they're going

[14:05]to repeat it.

[14:05]I know Matt's told stories about being up in North Dakota, and there was some giggling

[14:09]about some swear words.

[14:11]How do you guys handle that?

[14:12]Well, so two things.

[14:15]I think it's...

[14:15]What do we say about, you know, it's all about the art kind of a thing.

[14:19]So if you've got a drunk second cousin three times removed who's just swearing up a storm,

[14:25]that's like one thing, right?

[14:26]Right.

[14:27]Right.

[14:27]Right.

[14:27]If you've got like, you know, our kids are into, so I got a 10 and a 7-year-old, they're

[14:32]into like AJR right now, which has great songs, and they have three or four swear words in

[14:37]every one.

[14:37]But they're like using it how you would use the word shit, you know, not just like throwing

[14:42]it out there just to be a drunk idiot.

[14:45]They call the shit poop.

[14:46]Yeah, that kind of stuff, right?

[14:47]And so Sarah brought up a good point.

[14:50]It's like, well, would you rather have them listening to it like in proper context or

[14:54]like having their little buddies on the playground, like trying to...

[14:57]trying to figure out if this is how you're supposed to use it and they don't know how

[14:59]to use it and they don't know where to use it.

[15:01]Personally, I didn't really think too much about it, but Sarah brought it up tonight

[15:07]even when we were listening to AJR and Eddie said shit.

[15:09]And I go, oh, Eddie, you said shit like a, you know, and Sarah's like, well, yeah, that's

[15:13]what they say in the song.

[15:14]So he's just singing the song.

[15:16]So I'm like, all right, sounds good.

[15:18]That makes sense to me.

[15:18]But yeah, and that's, I don't know, but it feels like, it feels like six or seven, maybe

[15:23]that's about, you know, like you can't have four-year-olds going around saying shit.

[15:27]All the time.

[15:27]But you can play a lot of stuff before that.

[15:30]I mean, I played, like I played, I played dirtier stuff when he was zero to three than

[15:34]I do now because they're not going to repeat it.

[15:36]Of course.

[15:36]But then there's a point where they might ask, but the touch point for me is that I

[15:40]do remember, I don't remember how old my younger brother was when we were listening to the

[15:46]top 40 radio station in the car and John Cooter Mellencamp was on and he said, mom, what does

[15:51]hurt so good mean?

[15:52]And that to me, like when the kid can ask questions like that of the parents, that's when you

[15:57]have to start thinking about what, what questions you want to answer or not.

[16:00]Mom, what does it mean to be sucking on a chili dog behind the tasty place?

[16:03]Like, are you, how do you suck on a chili dog when it's a hot dog?

[16:06]It doesn't make any sense.

[16:07]Why would you do that?

[16:07]Right?

[16:07]Like once the chili is gone, why would you be sucking on the dog anymore?

[16:10]Spill all over you, the front of your balls.

[16:12]But in theory, in theory, those, those could have a different meaning that a six or eight

[16:16]year old might not even think about.

[16:17]Like if you put on closer by nine inch nails, that's a whole different level, isn't it?

[16:23]I, but here's the thing, right?

[16:25]Are we post?

[16:27]Lyrics causing bad things to happen.

[16:29]Are we past that now?

[16:30]Like, well, can you think of a song offensive enough where you would get mad about it?

[16:34]I can't possibly think of one.

[16:35]I mean, Aaron, I mean, I shouldn't say that because Aaron's looking right at me.

[16:38]He's like, I can actually think of a song that made me mad for a long time.

[16:41]It was that Neil Young parody.

[16:42]Made a number of members of my family mad.

[16:45]That means sweet Rob.

[16:47]I'm a nice guy.

[16:49]But I do think too, like I, like my kid now is at the stage where she listens to, like

[16:55]she just casually swears around the house.

[16:57]And I tell her, like, you can't do that, but there is nobody, there is nobody on earth

[17:02]who swears more than my wife.

[17:03]My wife is swearing all the time.

[17:07]Like my kid here is swearing all the time, but ironically, I don't want them to hear

[17:10]swearing, but I can't think like if they were listening to music, I got to admit, if

[17:13]they were listening to this album instead of swearing, I would be more worried if they

[17:17]were listening to this album.

[17:18]Like that would, that would be a kind of a scary thing if my kid was listening to it.

[17:21]I mean, my whole issue is the entire hip hop genre is problematic for kids.

[17:27]And so that one is tough for me.

[17:28]I played a lot of it when he was younger, but, uh, you know, I, I can't square myself

[17:33]a lot of the words that, you know, in particular the misogyny.

[17:37]So I like that stuff.

[17:38]Right.

[17:39]I'm going to have to temper well, you know, while he's growing, especially raising a boy,

[17:43]like you just can't have stuff with like the B word and, you know, some of the, like, I

[17:47]can't play, I cannot play Snoop and Dre at all.

[17:50]Like, no, that's a full on not happening in the house.

[17:53]When your kid gets to my age too, that can be a talking point.

[17:56]You know what I mean?

[17:56]Like I've talked to her.

[17:57]I've talked to her about why that music exists and why that was a thing in one planet.

[18:00]Yeah.

[18:01]Matt's got, Matt's got a thought on that.

[18:02]I just want to point out that I'm actually a good parent.

[18:04]Okay.

[18:04]It's not just my foul mouth wife.

[18:06]You know, Alexa will often let you play, uh, radio edits, Rosie, just so you can play,

[18:13]you know, tell her to play Alexa, uh, radio edit version.

[18:17]Um, and you bring up a great point.

[18:19]Like there's a difference between swearing and then like just all of the bitches and

[18:23]hoes and what, what they're going to do to them and all that stuff.

[18:25]Like, it's just, that's completely different.

[18:27]It's a different genre, right?

[18:28]And so that can't have that at all.

[18:31]So somebody says shit or, you know, God damn it.

[18:35]Or something, you know, as part of a song, like that's way better than a lot of things.

[18:39]My favorite story about lyrics though, is that my wife did get in trouble growing up.

[18:44]You know, of course I never got in trouble growing up because I was constantly listening

[18:46]to, they may be giants.

[18:47]So I was like triangle man, triangle man.

[18:49]I'm like, my parents are like doing the things that triangle can particle wins, particle

[18:55]loses article, man.

[18:57]It was like that and weird Al.

[18:58]And so my parents were like, uh, actually we're kind of worried the other way.

[19:01]Like this guy is a little too straight edge for us.

[19:03]We need to drop him off at Hollywood video in the adults.

[19:06]He's always here.

[19:10]Jenny got caught when she was in middle school, singing the song.

[19:13]You've got to lick it before you stick it, which of course you're hearing in the background

[19:16]right now.

[19:17]Okay.

[19:18]And not because I put it in, but because Aaron is actually playing it.

[19:21]He's got it as a theme song.

[19:22]He's a walkout song.

[19:23]He's got it.

[19:23]So I didn't know you can bend that.

[19:27]It's a pretty bendy Rosie.

[19:28]That's pretty good.

[19:28]I've been working on it.

[19:29]But I just think it's so funny that to be like, what did you just say?

[19:33]Did you say you've got to lick it before you stick it?

[19:35]It's like, no, I didn't say that.

[19:36]Like you are.

[19:37]Does your, does your wife ever use a foul language and say an Uber and you have to like

[19:42]tap her and remind her like, Hey, we're not, we're not, we're in mixed company here.

[19:46]Does that ever happen?

[19:48]Hey, I ordered this and this is on my rating.

[19:50]This is on my rating.

[19:53]So this goes on my score.

[19:54]I'm just curious.

[19:55]I'm just curious.

[19:56]That sounds good.

[19:57]I don't know.

[19:57]Cause that sounds so familiar, but I really have, don't want to compare people because

[20:03]it sounds like it could be related recently.

[20:05]And I got talked to about that.

[20:06]So I'm just not going to do that.

[20:07]It sounds related, like very closely related to something your wife would do, but maybe

[20:11]not exactly.

[20:12]Rob, has your wife ever been critical of like the, um, the talk radio that the Uber driver

[20:18]is listening to?

[20:18]You have to remind them there.

[20:19]There's three people in this vehicle.

[20:22]I, I, I just.

[20:27]Let's get into Roland going.

[20:29]Somehow we got a little off track there.

[20:31]I don't know.

[20:31]It is funny though, to be playing, uh, at a barbecue, you're having families and then

[20:37]closer comes on.

[20:38]Like, can you imagine you're at a barbecue turned off?

[20:42]You got to turn that off.

[20:43]You're like, it has to be, it has to be this, right?

[20:47]That one's got to go.

[20:48]It's also not like a great vibe either.

[20:50]It's not like you can just like enjoy the song and ignore the lyrics, right?

[20:54]It might be the best.

[20:57]It might be the best vibe out of the 18 songs on this album.

[20:59]What, what's the better vibe than that one?

[21:01]What's the second or third track?

[21:03]It's kind of jazzy.

[21:04]It's one that's like, it's a little bit like, I don't know.

[21:07]This is a piece of the shit.

[21:08]We're not to that part of the show yet.

[21:10]We're actually into Roland going.

[21:12]I don't know if you heard the sting.

[21:13]Okay.

[21:14]So let's get into Roland going.

[21:15]Aaron, how's it rolling going with you?

[21:16]I'm sorry I called you a piece of shit.

[21:18]I appreciate you, Rob.

[21:19]It's rolling going good.

[21:20]Uh, I finally, I've not really talked about any kitchen adventures lately.

[21:24]I, tonight I feel like I almost perfected it.

[21:27]I perfected my stir fried noodles.

[21:29]It didn't stick to the walk.

[21:31]I finally, I think I got the walk right where I want it.

[21:34]Uh, I felt really good about the bacon fat, bacon fat.

[21:37]No, no, I got a new, no, I got some new seasoning wax.

[21:41]That's made of beeswax, grapeseed oil.

[21:44]No, I can't remember the other.

[21:45]No, you're, you're not cooking.

[21:47]You're shut up.

[21:48]You're not cooking with beeswax.

[21:50]No, I'm not.

[21:51]No, no, no.

[21:51]I'm using it to season the walk and then I'm cooking with.

[21:54]And then you're cooking on that.

[21:57]Just because you're cooking with beeswax.

[21:59]Rob, time out a sec.

[22:00]Time out a sec.

[22:01]Rob, just because we're nice to the callers now,

[22:03]it doesn't mean that you can be mean to Aaron again.

[22:05]You can start coming at me a little bit.

[22:08]You can start attacking me.

[22:09]But man, you're so sweet.

[22:10]What would I even get mad at you about?

[22:12]I can't even imagine.

[22:12]First highlight, got my stir fry noodles down pat.

[22:15]So anybody wants to come visit and have some stir fry noodles.

[22:18]I'm here for you.

[22:19]Uh, second had the big two, two big holiday concerts at school this week.

[22:26]So we did.

[22:27]One did one on Tuesday afternoon.

[22:29]How talented could a five-year-old be?

[22:32]Kindergarten concert?

[22:33]Yeah.

[22:33]Well, one was for school and one was for the aftercare program.

[22:37]So the school one was the kindergarten through third graders,

[22:39]sang a song together in the middle of the school day.

[22:42]So we went over for that one.

[22:43]And you had to go to two separate shows.

[22:45]Yeah.

[22:46]And then the last night was the kindergarten through five aftercare program.

[22:49]But the coolest part is he does do hip hop dance class as the aftercare.

[22:53]Yeah.

[22:53]And so they just went ahead and danced to Thriller.

[22:56]Cause it was like, that's what they'd been, that's what they'd been training for.

[22:59]So they fucking did Thriller.

[23:00]That was amazing.

[23:01]I did have to, so Wallace was home sick today.

[23:04]Did you say he danced to Thriller?

[23:06]Yes.

[23:07]For the Christmas concert?

[23:10]Yeah.

[23:11]Because they'd been working on it since Halloween.

[23:13]You know what you don't see in that Thriller video?

[23:16]Is Michael Jackson take a shit as a wolf.

[23:18]You know what I mean?

[23:19]Like he turns around, he's in the varsity jacket.

[23:21]He turns around.

[23:22]That's scary.

[23:22]But then later he's like spinning cause he has to take a dump somewhere on the lawn.

[23:27]Not as scary.

[23:28]Okay.

[23:28]Keep going.

[23:28]Rob, you should see the new meme I created with Bell picking up Michael Jackson, the

[23:32]wolf's poop.

[23:33]And then in the same dog park is Michael J. Fox from Teen Wolf.

[23:39]Teen Wolf.

[23:39]Yeah.

[23:39]And this is the thing where he drags his butt across the ground.

[23:42]You're like, is that a problem?

[23:43]What's the deal there?

[23:45]And then you take him to the vet and it's Dr. Conrad Murray.

[23:49]Give me that milk.

[23:50]Vincent loves that Conrad Murray bit.

[23:53]What kind of milk is it, Rob?

[23:55]Give me your mama's milk.

[23:56]Give me your mama's milk.

[23:56]Come on, give me that milk.

[23:57]I gotta go to sleep.

[23:58]I gotta sleep.

[24:00]Did your son have a solo air where he talked about Bobby's milk or anything like that?

[24:05]In the Conrad Murray voice?

[24:06]No, he kind of created his own solo because they, so they both did, they did the thriller

[24:11]and they did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

[24:13]And he did have to like, he clearly had to pee super bad during Rudolph.

[24:17]And both of us were in the audience.

[24:19]Like he's going to wet his pants.

[24:20]Like he's doing the thing.

[24:21]Like this is terrifying.

[24:23]And then he just.

[24:24]Vincent, no.

[24:25]That is actually, that's too far.

[24:26]Vincent, you don't laugh at that.

[24:28]Okay.

[24:28]That's a triadic thing.

[24:29]He was, yeah, like clearly had to pee super bad.

[24:31]And then he announced to the whole auditorium that he had to go pee and ran off the stage

[24:35]and he made it to the bathroom.

[24:37]So props for him.

[24:38]Like I was very impressed.

[24:40]It was, it was, it was a urine concert, right?

[24:42]It was a urine concert.

[24:43]Oh no.

[24:44]He put the urine in urine concert.

[24:47]So he totally nailed it.

[24:48]I was so proud of him.

[24:49]Okay.

[24:49]Well, see you guys later.

[24:50]That was the perfect.

[24:51]And usually this is a joke, but this time I'm serious.

[24:54]I was waiting for you to hammer that.

[24:56]Rob, it was like got a T for you.

[24:58]I mean, we, we talked about the album a little bit, right?

[25:01]This counts.

[25:02]Yeah, we're good.

[25:03]We're good.

[25:03]We're good.

[25:04]So Aaron, I was going to ask you though.

[25:06]So you and your wife are both trained, skilled musicians, singers.

[25:11]You, I don't think your wife's saying, I don't know if she was an opera singer too, but both

[25:14]of you are very talented musicians that were at one point.

[25:17]Thank you.

[25:17]So do you guys have a higher expectation when you see your son up there and instead of like

[25:22]hitting the low note when he's supposed to, he's, he's like running off stage where you

[25:26]like disappointed.

[25:27]No, absolutely not.

[25:28]No, the expectation, you get it.

[25:30]The expectation is purely that he's enthusiastic and participating.

[25:34]And we, we are the, we're the people who open it up in the crowd.

[25:38]The crowds are too chill.

[25:39]I don't know.

[25:40]It's, it's like people think I'd be making some noise.

[25:41]Yeah.

[25:42]If he's, if he's happy with it, he's engaged.

[25:44]That's what makes me happy.

[25:45]I, I told you what my dad used to yell.

[25:47]Like he'd come to a soccer game.

[25:49]Right.

[25:49]And he thought it was the biggest joke in the world to yell at his kids.

[25:52]It was a perfect time for him to make a joke.

[25:54]Okay.

[25:54]So here I am.

[25:55]I'm like 10.

[25:57]12, 13, all the way up through high school.

[25:58]And then with my sister too, he would yell out, hustle.

[26:01]Don't you care?

[26:02]And he would just say, hustle.

[26:04]Don't you care?

[26:05]And he would laugh.

[26:06]He thought that was the funniest thing.

[26:07]And I was like, well, I don't know.

[26:09]It feels like that adds layers to all the times that Rob's mom yelled at Rob for making everything

[26:13]a joke.

[26:13]Like it feels like, I don't know, maybe there's some misplaced aggression there.

[26:17]I learned it from you.

[26:19]You're not mad at me.

[26:19]You're mad at your father.

[26:20]All right.

[26:24]And the last thing.

[26:24]Yeah.

[26:25]So, so he promptly.

[26:26]He then got home from the Christmas program and had a fever in the night.

[26:30]Last night was awake in the night, had to stay home from school today, which made it

[26:34]not.

[26:34]So it's been a tough week to try.

[26:36]Like it is Christmas music in my house, 24 hours a day from, from the day after Thanksgiving

[26:42]up until Christmas.

[26:43]So it is not a great time to be trying to listen to nine inch nails.

[26:46]So I had to get through it.

[26:48]And then today I listened to the first half while I was working out and then I came upstairs

[26:52]and my wife had to go to an appointment.

[26:54]So then I was like, all right, well, it's.

[26:56]It's just me and dub.

[26:57]I'm going to play the second half of the nine inch nails record out loud.

[27:00]It's like, yeah, well, and he was in the middle of some like very involved imaginative play.

[27:06]So he's got some kind of like stick that is a, I'm not sure what kind of weapon.

[27:11]And so he was like, dad, this sounds like laser music.

[27:12]So he was kind of into it.

[27:14]Like he enjoyed the laser sounds.

[27:15]He was like, dad, what does that mean?

[27:16]The needle pierced the bone.

[27:18]I just to see if I could feel what does that mean?

[27:20]So Aaron, now listen, unfortunately you're rolling going is wrong because all we care

[27:25]about right now is that.

[27:26]We have not recorded for about two weeks for about a week and a half here.

[27:29]Aaron, is the lightsaber still in one piece?

[27:33]Is it, does that lightsaber still exist or is it now smashed in the garbage somewhere?

[27:37]A hundred percent.

[27:38]He got it out today and I made reference.

[27:40]I said that, that price per use is going down every time.

[27:44]So yeah, they were playing with it today.

[27:45]It's, it's still looking good.

[27:47]Yeah.

[27:47]All right.

[27:48]All right.

[27:49]That's enough about me.

[27:50]How's it, how's it rolling going with Russell?

[27:52]Rolling going.

[27:53]Things are going good.

[27:54]I didn't go see Rob's house, but I was actually.

[27:56]And as Rob puts it, the greatest city in the world, New York city, I was in New York for

[28:03]work a few weeks ago and I got a, I got a connect with Rob at one point, Robin and his

[28:09]wife, Jenny, she used no foul language when she was around me.

[28:13]Rob must've padded her on the leg at some point.

[28:15]I was squeezing her tricep the whole time.

[28:17]Very tight.

[28:18]And so I ended up going to with Robin Jenny, we went to a champagne bar and we went to

[28:24]a comedy club, which happens.

[28:26]To be the exact same thing we did the last time we went.

[28:30]And so I was going to ask you, so Rob did a really nice thing when we were, when I was

[28:34]out there, we were going to meet up and he kind of gave me two options.

[28:37]We can do this thing or this thing.

[28:39]And one of the options was essentially a repeat of what we'd done before.

[28:43]Yeah.

[28:43]So when you guys go to a new city or you're like traveling, do you guys ever find yourself

[28:49]just enjoying the thing you did last time?

[28:51]And do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over?

[28:53]Yes.

[28:54]Hell yes.

[28:54]Yeah.

[28:55]There's nothing wrong with that.

[28:56]You can't experience the whole world.

[28:58]Like if you find something you enjoy, you got limited time to be there with Rob, do something

[29:02]you know is going to work.

[29:03]I'm telling you, I'm going to Memphis again over the holidays.

[29:06]I will be going to Graceland.

[29:08]I just, I love going to Graceland.

[29:10]I've been there a number of times.

[29:11]It is such a hoot to me that this world famous house looks like dog shit on the inside.

[29:15]It is so funny.

[29:16]It looks like my grandparents' basements.

[29:19]But Matt, Matt, I feel like Matt, you're more of a, like, it feels like you, you want to

[29:24]explore new things, right?

[29:26]Or am I wrong about that?

[29:27]Yeah, but, but then, so like I've traveled for work kind of a lot and then I kind of

[29:33]have like just a, like, let's call it 10 cities that I got to go to kind of a thing.

[29:37]And so like, it's also nice to know that I know what, if I'm going to Dallas, I'm going

[29:42]to stay at the La Meridian in Stone Lay and there's a dive bar across the street and the

[29:48]steakhouse is two blocks down.

[29:49]And then, you know, it's nice to know that stuff, right?

[29:52]Yeah.

[29:52]Or like I was in Palm Beach the other day, West Palm Beach.

[29:56]And I knew that this two blocks away from the hotel, there's this rooftop bar that's

[30:01]awesome, right?

[30:01]And you look over, you see the ocean, you could see Mar-a-Lago and see all the cop cars

[30:06]that are over there and stuff like that.

[30:07]So, you know, it's, it's, it's good entertainment, right?

[30:09]So there's that, but like, if you're going to like a spot for like four days or like

[30:14]where you actually have time to like get out and look at things, that's a little different

[30:18]for me.

[30:19]Like I would rather, you know, try new things.

[30:20]But if it's like, Hey, you're in there, it is yet one night I like the routine and knowing

[30:26]what you're going to get.

[30:26]If that makes sense.

[30:28]I will say, I, so Rob, I chose the, I chose the routine because I just thought we had

[30:32]a fun time last time.

[30:33]And so I met Rob and Jenny at the champagne bar.

[30:35]We ordered some champagne.

[30:36]It was really good.

[30:37]It was really fun.

[30:38]And it was kind of nice to say like, Hey, this is our thing as a group.

[30:41]When we go do something together, it's like when we go to Vegas, guys, we go to, we go

[30:45]to the same, we play blackjack at the same spot.

[30:48]We go to the same, you know what I'm saying?

[30:50]Same.

[30:50]Yeah.

[30:51]You don't want to mess around.

[30:52]Hey, what happens in the champagne room?

[30:56]I was just wondering if, you know, what happens in the champagne room?

[31:00]Rob may be signed a non-disclosure, but then I'm not allowed to talk about it.

[31:04]Yeah.

[31:04]And my wife talks so loud that you kind of look around to see if anybody's like looking

[31:07]at you.

[31:07]That's mostly what happens in the champagne room.

[31:08]There is no sex in the champagne room.

[31:11]Can you imagine that that was like a real song?

[31:14]Like that's crazy, right?

[31:16]That that was like a song for a video I saw.

[31:18]And the fact that I sat there watching TV and I watched that video and I was like, uh-huh.

[31:22]And you know, I, I'm telling you guys, there's a chance I try to do it again.

[31:26]Jack off for that video, I think, because I thought maybe the strippers were going to

[31:29]be something near just a lot of Chris rock.

[31:32]So I did one night with Rob and Jenny.

[31:36]And then the other night I had some work colleagues.

[31:38]I had to have do drinks and whatnot with them.

[31:40]And that went a little bit later, but I, I was able to explore a little bit the next

[31:43]night, Rob.

[31:44]I don't even know if I told you what I did that night.

[31:46]So no, cause we were going to get together that night.

[31:47]And then you said, no, thanks.

[31:48]So I was at home pretty much crying.

[31:50]Actually, I wouldn't have been able to be with you until about 9 PM, but I knew you

[31:54]had a big, a big weightlifting competition.

[31:56]So I,

[31:56]I figured that was, wasn't going to push it,

[31:58]but I did end up going to a top chef restaurant chef Angelo,

[32:02]who was one of the finalists.

[32:03]One time I went to his restaurant called a Neho.

[32:05]It was really good.

[32:06]It was delicious.

[32:07]And then I also walked down to Rockefeller Plaza to see the big Christmas tree.

[32:11]Are you guys into like going and seeing like the big Christmas trees or the

[32:15]lights or anything like that?

[32:16]I know Matt, you do the, the, the blow ups, but do you guys like the lights?

[32:20]I will say,

[32:21]and I think we've talked about this numerous years that I have very strong

[32:24]thoughts on professional,

[32:26]professionally done lights on people's houses.

[32:28]Yes.

[32:29]Which drive me bonkers, right?

[32:30]Like if those, if those lights are as straight as an arrow, you know,

[32:34]and perfectly, you know, that, that, you know,

[32:37]but people who put out the effort and you could tell that it's like a thing

[32:40]that they do or they do with their kids or things like that.

[32:43]Yeah.

[32:43]I love it.

[32:44]Or like there's a place I think in Phelan, is it, is it the St.

[32:48]Paul Russell?

[32:48]Have you ever done that?

[32:49]Where it's like a drive through Phelan park in St.

[32:52]Paul and it's raising money for somebody.

[32:54]And you know, it's kind of corny, but at the same time,

[32:56]it's like, yeah, this is really cool, you know,

[32:58]raising money for whatever.

[32:59]So no, it's fun.

[33:00]But again, if somebody has got a real professional and the Rockefeller is a

[33:05]little different because that's pretty historic.

[33:06]And you know, I think they,

[33:08]I think they bring the tree in from Minnesota usually don't they?

[33:10]Do they tell you where the tree comes from Russell or did you,

[33:13]did you not get that far?

[33:14]I did not get that much information.

[33:15]Did you, did you talk to anybody?

[33:18]I hope not Russell.

[33:19]Don't, don't talk to anybody.

[33:20]But it was a good time.

[33:23]Rob, Rob, it was great.

[33:24]Great seeing you.

[33:25]Thank you for taking me out.

[33:26]But Matt, Roland going, how's it going with you?

[33:28]Good.

[33:29]I did not know that this is the Christmas episode,

[33:33]but I have been making a list.

[33:35]Oh, now, now Matt, can I just ask you right now?

[33:38]Yeah.

[33:39]Yeah.

[33:40]Be careful.

[33:40]How many times have you checked that list?

[33:42]Tonight twice.

[33:46]So I checked that out and there's a lot,

[33:50]there's a lot of actually like holiday stuff that's on my list.

[33:53]There's also, I still have flashlight,

[33:56]I still like to see Menzies, I'm, I don't know what that means,

[33:59]but I also now have this one and I have to just say this cause well,

[34:03]I'm going to have to figure it out by next time we record,

[34:05]but something popped up and Sarah goes,

[34:08]well you have to take good enough notes that you're going to remember what it

[34:12]is. Okay. And here's my good enough notes. All right.

[34:14]Photos of feet dash. I'm the creeper dash Rodriguez.

[34:20]I have no idea what that means.

[34:22]Did you see me perk up?

[34:26]When you said that I was like, Hmm, right.

[34:27]So I'm going to have to figure that out. All right. So I, uh,

[34:31]it's a piece of paper. Okay. There's something there. Somehow. Yeah.

[34:37]Um, so we'll do, we'll do some quick hitters. I've got a joy to the world.

[34:42]That's the best Christmas song. There is the Mariah, Mariah.

[34:45]Overall, just overall. Okay. Just the joy to the world.

[34:50]First of all, to the world. That's the best,

[34:52]clearly a Christmas song in my opinion. Well, that's kind of what makes it.

[34:56]Kind of what makes it okay for me. I mean, that's a Christmas song.

[34:59]Joy to the world. And you're telling me that that's better than a little drummer boy.

[35:03]Mariah has it on her Christmas album. So that makes it a Christmas song.

[35:06]She is the queen of Christmas, although not trademarked.

[35:09]I love that by the way. So joy to the world. Best song. Um, I, uh,

[35:15]I think I was incorrectly using stolen valor last night at our Christmas party.

[35:21]Cause I got designated to, you know, so it's like, be careful, dude. I'm just telling you.

[35:26]Be careful because people, people who aren't on this podcast get really bad.

[35:32]Turns out a number of people, I think I was using the phrase incorrectly,

[35:38]but I was thinking about you guys and it was making me laugh inside by saying,

[35:42]you know, stolen. So it was, it was one of those things where it was like,

[35:45]there's a few, few of us plan to like go out to a bar.

[35:49]We went to the local downtown and anybody who's saying that Minneapolis is shut

[35:52]down, they can all go fuck themselves. Cause it's, it's pretty nice down there.

[35:55]I got to change my role and going now.

[35:58]All right. So we go down there and there's like 15, 16 people and there's a big bill.

[36:03]Right. And so we got, and it's going to be like, well,

[36:05]who's paying for this kind of a thing. And so the head guy is like, well, Matt,

[36:09]just use your card and you know, we'll expense it or whatever.

[36:13]So I was like, okay, so I'll buy everything.

[36:16]Tell everybody I'm buying everything.

[36:17]I'll take full credit and then I'll expense it on the back door later.

[36:20]So, yeah. So I was just telling everybody, yep.

[36:22]No drinks are on me guys.

[36:25]You know, and people go, aren't you expensing? Oh yeah.

[36:28]Stolen valor. You know, I'm taking all the credit.

[36:31]I'm taking all the credit for this. So am I using that right, Rob?

[36:34]Is that how you use stolen valor?

[36:35]Taking credit for something.

[36:37]Did you give him a naval salute from your rear end at the end of it or not?

[36:41]I do like the, I do like the idea that rear Admiral.

[36:45]Russell, you're like a fucking Picasso.

[36:49]I mean, we're just seeing your finger painting.

[36:51]You're coming. I mean, you're just bringing it tonight.

[36:53]I feel like, I feel like a real piece of shit tonight.

[36:55]Guys compared to you, but I'm going to come back with this joke.

[36:58]Okay. You're ready for this.

[36:59]First of all,

[37:00]I do like to think of the idea as a credit card as being like valor.

[37:03]Like every time you spend it, you're like, I'm doing my part to help the economy.

[37:06]Not the joke. That was good. Okay. I'm just going to stop everybody.

[37:09]That was not a good joke. Here it comes.

[37:10]It's the fluffer.

[37:11]And at the end of the night, here's what Matt hears. Ready?

[37:14]He goes, hello, Matt. It's me, William.

[37:18]And Matt's like, oh, there's the big bill.

[37:20]I was talking, talking about.

[37:25]Getting us those drinks.

[37:26]And also thank you for your time in the shit in Da Nang.

[37:30]We appreciate it.

[37:31]Face down in the mud.

[37:37]So, so bad. Did you try to take any credit or, or, but I will say this.

[37:43]Even if you use the company card, if people don't thank you, I think that's bogus.

[37:47]I think they got to thank you for using the company card.

[37:50]Oh, here we go.

[37:50]Enough people know my, you know, my game to know that, you know,

[37:55]that they could tell that I was just living in the moment.

[37:59]Right. And so it was fun.

[38:01]And of course, a couple of the people who aren't very fun, they're like, well,

[38:04]you're not really paying for this. Are you? Oh yeah, I'm paying.

[38:07]No, they're going to expense it. You know, like, okay, you just kill joy.

[38:10]Yeah. You know, no wonder you only come out once a year to happy hour.

[38:14]Nobody invites you any other time.

[38:15]Imagine if you would have had a Bluetooth speaker playing this the whole time

[38:19]behind you.

[38:19]It would have set the mood.

[38:21]Hey, a big, a big bill guy over here.

[38:25]I should send you guys a picture.

[38:28]I don't think I haven't ever been able to take good pictures.

[38:30]Cause it's been a very weird year to try to put up blowups this year in

[38:34]Minneapolis. Okay. And so I got the,

[38:37]I can't even imagine what's coming next.

[38:39]I cannot even imagine what makes it a weird year to put a blowups.

[38:43]It's not that funny. So like my, my, my thing is,

[38:45]is that we're done with like this, this 20 footers, right?

[38:49]I got a couple of 20 footers that you can't keep them up.

[38:53]Snow comes when you can't,

[38:54]you can't keep them up. It's horrible.

[38:56]I'll tell you when those inflatables get older. Yeah.

[38:58]I mean, that just happens.

[38:59]It's a natural thing and you got to kind of deal with it.

[39:01]You just can't do it as much. You know, the 20 footers don't,

[39:03]they don't stay up as much.

[39:05]They don't stay up. It takes them a lot more effort to get them up.

[39:08]Yeah. I mean, yeah. And then like any little,

[39:10]keep them up any little touch of wind or like anything, you know,

[39:14]it just takes it right back down.

[39:15]The blood's got to flow longer.

[39:16]If it's a longer thing, it's got to get through, right.

[39:19]It takes longer to get through there.

[39:20]And maybe it's because you've been inflating,

[39:24]it maybe not during the holiday season,

[39:27]kind of on your own and like, maybe it's gotten overinflated.

[39:29]It's gotten used to a certain way of getting inflated and it actually is

[39:32]kind of a problem and maybe we should talk about it, but we're too busy at

[39:37]night, actually recording podcasts, actually spend some time together,

[39:39]but that's fine.

[39:40]So I was pivoting towards lights this year because we were at about 20,

[39:47]about 20 blowups. So I was pivoting lights.

[39:50]So I got lights all in the front of the house and I actually got on the roof

[39:53]and we've got lights.

[39:54]We've got lights up and down the road.

[39:55]It's not quite Clark Griswold.

[39:57]I mean, those are like every square inch is lights.

[39:59]So, but we're getting close and the new blow up of the year is

[40:03]a VW bus Santa's driving and the three of the reindeer

[40:09]are sticking their heads out the side.

[40:11]It's wonderful.

[40:12]It's a great one.

[40:13]So because of all the rain, you know, it's been raining.

[40:17]And so it's just knocking everything down and then it's heavy snow.

[40:20]And so it's been a bad year for that.

[40:22]I got to ask, did you acquire these in?

[40:24]Last January from home Depot on special or not?

[40:27]We acquired a lot of them last January, but again, I think I,

[40:32]have I told you guys this?

[40:33]So, you know, Menards, the local, uh,

[40:36]save big regional, uh, hardware store, right?

[40:39]I could use that to pay this enormous bill.

[40:43]It's me, William.

[40:46]So they essentially have 11% rebates all year, right?

[40:50]Like you go there, you send in your rebate, you get a,

[40:52]you get a coupon back.

[40:54]And you get 11% off.

[40:55]So we just collect those and the boys, they, you know, they're, they help me.

[40:59]They, they send them off.

[41:01]They come in.

[41:02]It's it's great.

[41:03]So we had a hundred and I think it was $182 this year.

[41:06]I feel like this is like, you're teaching your kids to smoke, but it's buying inflatables.

[41:09]You know what I mean?

[41:10]You're like, Hey, just try a little.

[41:11]So we just, we collect all those, we collect all the rebates and that's our blow up money

[41:15]for the year.

[41:16]And so we had $182 this year and so we, yeah, we got, we got some new ones.

[41:20]We have to, we get the, we get the ones on sale, we get the ones on sale.

[41:24]Well, after the new year, right.

[41:25]Yeah.

[41:26]But then we get the new good ones, like the VW bus, that was like 120 bucks, I think.

[41:30]So that was, that's all rebate.

[41:31]I mean, it's free money.

[41:32]Are there going to be photos of the, of the installation on the better Instagram account?

[41:36]Where can our listeners go?

[41:37]Just see potentially, but like installation, show your ad, my, my, my 12 foot tree ripped.

[41:44]It got too much.

[41:45]It got, it got rained on and then it got, it got, uh, the ice froze on top of it.

[41:49]And so that one, so we're, I mean, we're, we're down like three of them this year from weather

[41:53]uh, terrors.

[41:56]So you know, we, we, it's not a good year.

[41:58]I've got a gap in between a couple of them.

[42:00]You know, I wish I can move that bus over, but we've got too much snow now.

[42:03]And so it's just, you know, it's not lining up right.

[42:05]We might just have to take it next year.

[42:07]So yeah, this is, I mean, this is like talking to Picasso about painting where he's putting

[42:11]these art.

[42:12]I mean, it's just, it's brilliant.

[42:13]Uh, listen, are we to me for going, do you know any other artists?

[42:23]Pablo, I had to warn you once about reusing the same foul language too many times in one

[42:28]episode.

[42:29]Rob, do I need to mark down the Picasso in the notes or not?

[42:32]I'm going to say Degas.

[42:34]Hmm.

[42:35]See, did you guys get the text I sent you?

[42:38]Which one?

[42:39]Yeah.

[42:40]So that was the CVS at Washington DC.

[42:42]Okay.

[42:43]And guess what?

[42:44]It's another episode of people.

[42:53]They're not rubber sheets or people like Aaron.

[42:57]Yeah.

[42:58]They love sniffing.

[42:59]They're Kings.

[43:00]They're Kings.

[43:01]Rob.

[43:02]We'll explain.

[43:03]They're Kings.

[43:04]They're Kings.

[43:05]They're Kings.

[43:06]But we'll never shame.

[43:07]Yeah.

[43:08]Yeah.

[43:09]Yeah.

[43:10]Uh, so listen, here's the deal.

[43:12]Yeah.

[43:13]Okay.

[43:14]The Washington DC CVS.

[43:15]Now this is like a Dwayne Reed for those of you who are listening to New York.

[43:16]Both of you.

[43:17]Okay.

[43:18]So listen, here's the deal.

[43:19]Okay.

[43:20]The Washington DC CVS.

[43:21]Now this is like a Dwayne Reed for those of you who are listening to New York.

[43:22]Both of you.

[43:23]Oh, geez.

[43:24]This CVS was selling Aaron.

[43:27]Tell us what's in that photo.

[43:29]Okay.

[43:30]Um, well it looks a little bit like, uh, a dildo.

[43:34]Yes.

[43:35]Some kind of sex toy.

[43:36]They were selling vibrators and they just said vibrate around them.

[43:39]They did not say like back massager, neck massager.

[43:41]And then if you look, there's a little green one.

[43:44]Oh, I, can I read them left to right left to right.

[43:49]What's going on there?

[43:50]Oh, it's in the personal intimacy aisle in the personal intimacy aisle.

[43:53]Yeah.

[43:54]For 2349, you can get something called the stroker for 1249 you can get stroker lotion.

[44:00]Okay.

[44:01]So wait a minute.

[44:02]Let's, let's talk about this for a second.

[44:03]The stroker lotion is half the price of the stroker itself.

[44:07]Like that would be the most expensive tank of gas ever, but I gotta say, if my car helped

[44:11]me Jack off, I'd probably pay a lot for gas.

[44:13]Now this is a visual joke, but my favorite part about this text is that just beyond the

[44:19]kegel toner and the dual vibrating massager.

[44:22]Yeah.

[44:23]It's the, is the gingerbread mini village kit on the other side, gingerbread mini village

[44:33]kit.

[44:34]We're not shaming Rosie.

[44:35]I don't know if you listen to the song, whatever you're into, if you, if you want to act like

[44:39]your Godzilla, if you want to act like a Godzilla, uh, using the stroker and smashing a small

[44:44]gingerbread town, you can do that.

[44:45]That's what gets you.

[44:46]The third one, it looks like my microphone and I do want to go back to the idea of a

[44:52]car.

[44:53]I think if you made a car that was good at jacking you off, you would have the best selling.

[44:58]In fact, I would say any object you would have the best selling car in the world.

[45:01]If you're like, Hey, this car goes zero to 60, like I don't listen, it jacks you off.

[45:04]It's really good.

[45:05]If we had met that, we could buy Twitter.

[45:06]Oh my God.

[45:07]Oh my God.

[45:08]It'd be so, I mean, look around your house right now.

[45:09]I'm just going to look at something.

[45:10]Ready?

[45:11]I'm going to turn and look.

[45:12]A refrigerator that jacks you off.

[45:13]That's a great, that's a great invention.

[45:14]I just feel like there should be some clean up involved.

[45:15]Would each of these clean up?

[45:16]Would each of these clean up?

[45:17]Yeah.

[45:18]That's a great, that's a great invention.

[45:23]Would each of these appliances or machines look like a regular one or would it be obvious?

[45:27]Like when you'd be driving down the road and people would see you and like, God dang, he's

[45:30]got the jerk off mobile or whatever it would be called.

[45:33]Honestly, it would be dangerous, right?

[45:35]So I do think you'd need to have a special light to come on in the back.

[45:38]So there'd be like a purple blinking light and be like, listen, this guy's getting jacked

[45:41]off.

[45:42]He is in the jack off lane.

[45:43]So everything's fine.

[45:44]Flashers.

[45:45]Yeah.

[45:46]Well, I mean, again, we're not shaming.

[45:49]Still feels like it should also provide some paper towels or something.

[45:52]I mean, you can't just.

[45:53]Hold on here.

[45:54]Hold on here.

[45:55]What is this?

[45:56]Hold on.

[45:57]What is this stroker?

[45:58]It's a big, so it's a double-sided toy for penis play.

[46:01]Now, why does it have to be double-sided?

[46:02]So just to give you an idea, it kind of looks like a figure, it kind of looks like an hourglass,

[46:06]but the bottom half of the hourglass is thicker than the top, but why would it be double-sided

[46:11]is one.

[46:12]Are they different like circumferences and Aaron don't make a cum joke there.

[46:18]I mean, I said, I think, I think Brian probably.

[46:22]Brian probably knows about this and he's probably explaining to his kids right now.

[46:25]So maybe if he'd call in.

[46:26]All right, man.

[46:27]Keep going.

[46:28]I think we were all the way up to stroker lotion.

[46:30]Yup.

[46:31]And then by the way, we changed color.

[46:33]Do you see the brand name on the stroker lotion?

[46:35]No.

[46:36]So low.

[46:37]Now that's come on.

[46:38]You're making a Jack off gel.

[46:41]That's called solo.

[46:42]Like that's.

[46:43]It can.

[46:44]They're waterproof.

[46:45]Yeah.

[46:46]That's terrible.

[46:47]You're done.

[46:48]You're done doing it.

[46:49]And you get the shower and you're like, I can't get this off.

[46:52]I didn't milk or something.

[46:53]How do I get this off?

[46:54]All right.

[46:55]So next, so next to this, we've got.

[46:56]Hey, why does it smell like solo?

[46:57]Jack off gel in here.

[46:58]What?

[46:59]Get it off of the shower.

[47:00]I'm covered.

[47:01]You come in and you just look at your hands are so jelly.

[47:02]You're like, it doesn't come off in water.

[47:03]I don't know what to do.

[47:04]I tried brushing it.

[47:05]It doesn't just, just stays.

[47:06]This is why we let Rob do his cake episode.

[47:07]This is what, this is what we were waiting for.

[47:08]You got to soak.

[47:09]You got to soak it in a, like tomato juice.

[47:10]You got to soak it in a, like tomato juice.

[47:11]Yeah.

[47:12]You got to soak it in a, like tomato juice.

[47:13]Yeah.

[47:14]Yeah.

[47:15]It really is.

[47:16]I don't get it.

[47:17]That helps take it off.

[47:18]I would you want that waterproof?

[47:19]My goodness.

[47:20]All right.

[47:21]So next to this, we've got buzzy, but I think I can't quite read it.

[47:22]Is it a vibrating toy for your backside play?

[47:23]Is that what it says?

[47:24]Vibrating toy for backside play.

[47:25]And that's kind of my kink that I want to talk about right now.

[47:26]Right.

[47:27]All right.

[47:28]So next to this, we've got buzzy, but I think I can't quite read it.

[47:29]Is it a vibrating toy for your backside play?

[47:30]Is that what it says?

[47:31]Vibrating toy for backside play.

[47:32]And that's kind of my kink that I want to talk about right now.

[47:33]Right.

[47:34]Buzzy butt.

[47:35]I think, I can't quite read it.

[47:36]Is it a vibrating toy for your backside play?

[47:39]Is that what it says?

[47:40]Vibrating toy for backside play.

[47:41]And that's kind of my kink that I want to talk about right now.

[47:44]Well, not my kink.

[47:44]Okay, well, let me just get through the, let me get, so we got the Tush Kush, and I can't read the fine print on it.

[47:49]A cushiony lubricant for backside play.

[47:51]So I'm going to tell you right now, if you're using the stroker lotion on the buzzy butt, oh boy, are you doing it wrong?

[47:58]The worst part about these toys, though, is the boxes they come in.

[48:02]These boxes are like just plain orange and pink boxes.

[48:06]There's nothing fancy about these appliances.

[48:08]But they have a guarantee on the box.

[48:10]They have a guarantee on the box.

[48:12]You've got to have the guarantee on the box.

[48:15]Put a guarantee, put it right on the box.

[48:17]Yeah.

[48:17]There's a guarantee, Matt.

[48:19]What are you talking about?

[48:20]It's a Tommy Boy reference.

[48:22]Oh, okay, sorry.

[48:23]Keep up, keep up.

[48:24]Listen, Matt, tell me the price.

[48:27]If I want to shove, and I want to be, how do I say this?

[48:32]I want to shove this buzzy butt up my ass for pleasure.

[48:35]How much would that cost me?

[48:37]$33.79 plus $7.35 if you need the tush-kush with it.

[48:42]Do you think that's too cheap or too expensive?

[48:45]Because if I'm going to take the time to shove that in me, I might not want to just be buying the discount one at the drugstore.

[48:51]I kind of would be like, hey, $100?

[48:53]I don't know.

[48:54]That actually sounds good to me.

[48:56]That's good.

[48:56]Next to it, the toy cleaner is on sale for $232.

[49:01]The real question is, too, if you look next to some of them, they're empty slots.

[49:06]So some of these things have been purchased out.

[49:09]They're gone.

[49:10]The people at Walgreens have bought them out.

[49:12]They are smart because everybody likes it when it's better to jack off.

[49:16]Nobody's ever been like, well, I hope I go home and have a not-good jack-off session tonight.

[49:20]What are you talking about?

[49:21]Aaron, you seem awful quiet.

[49:22]You haven't bought something from the personal intimacy aisle, have you?

[49:25]There's no good place to jump in.

[49:27]You guys are just very, you're on fire right now.

[49:29]Do you see how oily?

[49:31]Aaron's hands are, and he's got pictures of feet.

[49:32]The top of his head is glistening.

[49:35]I'm still just imagining if the whole world is just walking around covered in spooge, like nobody's cleaning up.

[49:39]Like, oh, we're just all jacking off on the way to our next meeting.

[49:42]He's like, can you show up just like fully not sanitary?

[49:45]I want to be clear.

[49:46]The toy cleaner mat is $929.

[49:48]The $232 is unit price.

[49:49]So, and don't get me, I'm not going to make a unit price joke.

[49:54]Although you know who would laugh at a unit price joke?

[50:00]So Rob, if you were going to buy something from the personal intimacy aisle at Walgreens, would you buy it?

[50:07]Would you rather buy it from the, the front desk concierge as Aaron has called them?

[50:13]Or would you rather buy it from the pharmacist in the back?

[50:15]You know what?

[50:15]At my age now, I'm giving it to somebody.

[50:17]You know what I mean?

[50:18]It's like buying condoms.

[50:19]It's a mark of like, Hey, I'm a man.

[50:21]I'm comfortable with who I am.

[50:22]This is going to help me jack off better.

[50:24]Okay.

[50:25]So let's, now I'm going to buy it.

[50:27]And guess what?

[50:27]You're going to look at it.

[50:28]You're going to ring it up and I'm going to pay you.

[50:30]And you know, you know, there's a hundred percent chance that tonight I am using it.

[50:36]Cause this is not, you do not go and buy the stroker.

[50:39]Okay.

[50:40]It's not like Matt, you don't buy it in January and let it sit for 11 months.

[50:44]You know that the stroker is getting open tonight.

[50:48]The stroker lotion solo is getting opened tonight.

[50:51]The toy cleaner is not getting open tonight.

[50:54]That can wait until later tomorrow.

[50:56]Maybe a couple of days, right?

[50:58]Yeah.

[50:58]It feels like you should clean it.

[51:00]Yeah.

[51:00]Yeah.

[51:00]Yeah.

[51:00]The first time out of the box.

[51:01]There's very, there's very few things where the guy you're selling it to you and he knows

[51:06]that it's going to help you orgasm that night.

[51:08]Like there's just, you know, cause what are the other ones?

[51:11]Well, I mean, he's like, well, I mean, he does have a runny nose.

[51:13]You know what I mean?

[51:14]He, what?

[51:15]Maybe this guy just needs socks, like whatever.

[51:17]Like it's kind of nebulous.

[51:19]You don't know quite what's happening, but this one, it's like, this guy's definitely

[51:22]going to jerk it.

[51:23]I mean, I usually, you know, we go by the blowups after Christmas cause they're like

[51:28]half off.

[51:28]Do you think there's ever a season?

[51:30]When these are like on sale and you can get like two for one.

[51:33]It'll be after.

[51:35]I was going to say, okay.

[51:37]I was going to say, yeah.

[51:38]Valentine's day has got a, well, what's it, what do you think is the biggest day to get

[51:41]dumped?

[51:41]Right.

[51:42]Cause that's probably when you have a run on those things.

[51:44]Oh, it's before the holidays.

[51:45]You don't want to spend money on something.

[51:46]There you go.

[51:47]That's probably, and you don't want to, you don't want to introduce them to your family.

[51:50]Right.

[51:50]Or you chose not to introduce them.

[51:53]You chose not to introduce them and they held that against you.

[51:55]And that ended things that I would know.

[51:58]Whoa.

[52:01]Are we going to the dating corner?

[52:03]Oh, wow.

[52:03]Oh, wow.

[52:04]There's some news here.

[52:05]Uh, listen, I will say this.

[52:06]Um, seeing this, this thing called the stroker.

[52:10]I'm going to ask you guys this.

[52:12]And could you do me a huge favor?

[52:13]Can we please do Steve Miller band as the next album?

[52:17]Cause I've got a great idea for a song.

[52:19]It's time for a new experience.

[52:21]Let's talk about the album.

[52:23]On a T.

[52:26]Yep.

[52:26]On a T.

[52:27]Some people call me the space cowboy.

[52:29]And some people.

[52:30]They're putting.

[52:30]Okay.

[52:32]So here's the deal.

[52:33]My Walgreens at midnight.

[52:34]I'm buying the stroker, right?

[52:36]Right.

[52:37]I'm a midnight stroker.

[52:39]Here's the deal.

[52:41]Listen, we are talking about the downward spiral by nine inch nails.

[52:44]This is their second album.

[52:46]Although they had some EP stuff or there was some stuff come out earlier.

[52:49]I couldn't figure it out and I didn't want to take the time to figure it out.

[52:51]But this is guys, this is right in our wheelhouse.

[52:54]This is 1994.

[52:56]I think for all of us, that's a huge year.

[52:58]Best year.

[52:58]Best year for music.

[53:00]Best year for music to be released ever.

[53:01]And it's such a huge year.

[53:02]Influential.

[53:02]Like I remember nine inch nails.

[53:05]I never chose to listen to them, but I saw their videos a hundred times.

[53:08]I heard their songs all the time.

[53:10]I was blown away when the highest song on this album got up like 30th on the billboard charts.

[53:14]I was like, I thought it would be way, way higher than that.

[53:16]But basically this album, it kind of reminds me of Kate Bush's album, which I think a lot

[53:22]of people wouldn't say that, but it's a concept album about somebody falling into madness

[53:26]where at the end there's kind of a suicidal breaking point.

[53:29]I think it's a lot like that Kate Bush album where she was talking about the people drowning

[53:33]in the lake and it was like using noise scapes and samples and stuff like that.

[53:38]I think, I think I'm actually very smart for saying that.

[53:40]Aaron, am I smart for saying that?

[53:41]You were smart for saying that.

[53:42]Oh yes, I nailed it.

[53:44]Thank you.

[53:44]If, if, if our listeners are bored, just Google albums released in 1994.

[53:51]It is unbelievable.

[53:52]Weezer by Weezer, Southern Playalistic Cadillac music, Ready to Die,

[53:59]Metallurgy by Pearl Jam.

[54:00]Metallurgy, right.

[54:01]There we go.

[54:02]So basically what you're going to learn on this album is that Trent Reznor is a giant

[54:07]weirdo.

[54:07]Okay.

[54:08]To the point where he unplugged.

[54:10]He moved.

[54:11]I'm a giant weirdo.

[54:13]I'm the neighbor of Dukey by Goosey.

[54:14]Giant William.

[54:15]Big William.

[54:16]Live Through This by Hole.

[54:17]So good.

[54:18]Super Unknown Soundgarden.

[54:19]Oh, that's a good one.

[54:20]He moved into the Sharon Tate house and turned it into the studio.

[54:25]And then because they had written Die Pigs on the wall, he called the studio,

[54:29]Le Pig.

[54:30]I mean, this is the kind of guy that we're dealing with.

[54:32]This guy is, I don't like, he's out there seeking, he's seeking out different experiences.

[54:38]He's like the normal life just isn't for him.

[54:41]Like he needs something different, right?

[54:43]Guess.

[54:45]Or he's just like pretending.

[54:47]But then you listen to this album and I'm like, I don't think he's pretending.

[54:49]I think he's really like this.

[54:50]This seems pretty real.

[54:51]Did you read that, that her sister, was it Sharon Tate's sister or something like ran

[54:56]in?

[54:56]Did you maybe tell us that Rob?

[54:58]I thought that was bizarre.

[54:58]She ran into him.

[54:59]And you know, he had made, I think people knew that he lived there at this place and

[55:03]had recorded these albums there.

[55:04]And she said, well, you're, um, you're like taking advantage of my sister's death.

[55:09]And he said that he went home and he thought about it and he was like, well, what if this

[55:13]was my sister?

[55:14]And he just cried all night and he realized like it kind of was this humanizing point.

[55:18]And that's a touching story.

[55:20]Or it's a story that he totally made up because that also sounds like a story that you would

[55:24]just make up having that conversation to make yourself not seem like a weirdo, right?

[55:28]Huh?

[55:29]Question mark.

[55:29]Russell, is that a libel or slander?

[55:31]I just, I just think it's bizarre.

[55:33]There's something disingenuous about it to me where it's like, I'm going to record an

[55:38]album at this place because clearly he thinks it's cool or he thinks there's something eerie

[55:43]or weird about it.

[55:44]And then supposedly he meets the sister and now, now he feels bad.

[55:48]Like you didn't feel bad when you were doing, I don't know.

[55:50]I just think it's, I think part of it too, is this guy's probably 20 something, right?

[55:53]He probably, he probably wants to stick out.

[55:55]And he probably, and it's just like, you know, if you, if I made a record of all the things

[55:58]I did when I was 20.

[55:59]That are dumb, that would be longer than an hour and eight minutes, by the way.

[56:03]Fucking long.

[56:03]What if you did, what if you did a two and a half year podcast when you were 41 about

[56:07]all these things?

[56:08]No.

[56:08]How many, how many hours of podcasting?

[56:12]As long as I didn't have an episode where I talked about jacking off a lot, I think

[56:16]it would be fine.

[56:16]So Trent Reznor basically was on Lollapalooza festival tour after his first album and wrote

[56:23]this.

[56:23]He was feeling so isolated and alone that he wrote this kind of starting as a poem and

[56:28]then eventually pointed into a poem.

[56:29]People say it's industrial rock, which I don't think we've heard yet.

[56:32]Right.

[56:32]Have we heard any industrial rock yet?

[56:34]A little mixture of techno soundscapes.

[56:37]It's kind of a mixture out of kind of that, uh, like the technical rock that came out

[56:42]of the UK in the late seventies.

[56:45]It was kind of different from the punk, uh, you know, so I don't know.

[56:48]It feels very, it has some similarities to jagged little pill to me just with less melody

[56:55]and more, more noise.

[56:57]I like that.

[56:58]Same kind of thing.

[56:59]Program drums, do some rock and roll over it.

[57:01]I'd rather.

[57:02]So Alanis, so Alanis Morissette stole her, uh, everything for jagged little pill from

[57:09]this.

[57:09]That's not, isn't that ironic?

[57:12]Don't you think?

[57:15]Little too.

[57:18]I was saying that was kind of like the style of the time for a short period.

[57:22]And then, and then eventually new metal came along and then that, you know, Limp Bizkit

[57:26]just killed it all.

[57:27]I particularly.

[57:29]I really liked when, uh, Trent Reznor was talking about the Chardonnay he was drinking,

[57:32]the black fly.

[57:32]I think it was like in the third song.

[57:35]I thought it was weird.

[57:36]And he said, I got one hand in my pocket and the other one has a stroker.

[57:38]Um, and so then he used it.

[57:42]It was weird when he said, did, did he go down on you in a theater?

[57:45]Oh boy.

[57:47]He.

[57:49]Did he fuck Dave Coulier?

[57:52]Is that where we're going with this joke?

[57:54]What?

[57:54]Hmm.

[57:55]Hmm.

[57:57]Hmm.

[57:59]I'm going to think about it out.

[58:00]Cut it out, Trent.

[58:02]That's Joey from full house.

[58:07]He doesn't want to be penetrated.

[58:09]You know how you see that couple where like one person is really attractive and you're

[58:11]kind of like, how did this work out?

[58:13]I think if Dave Coulier married Trent Reznor in the nineties, that would be the couple,

[58:17]right?

[58:17]We're like, what do they see in each other?

[58:19]How did this happen?

[58:20]Right.

[58:20]Yeah.

[58:21]It's like perfect strangers.

[58:22]Let's talk about it.

[58:23]Yeah.

[58:23]That's what Janet Jackson said.

[58:27]Opposites attract.

[58:28]He's like, I don't know.

[58:28]He's like, he's like doing the bullwinkle impersonation in the Manson house.

[58:32]Holy shit.

[58:34]Dave Coulier.

[58:40]Holy shit.

[58:41]Trent Reznor.

[58:41]If Rob was at 122, he just went to 222.

[58:45]I just took him straight into the stress.

[58:47]That was, I mean, I'm just thinking of a joke, but I cannot do a bullwinkle impersonation.

[58:51]Hey, Rocky, the ghosts of Sharon Tate still haunt the halls to these days.

[58:58]No, I killed it.

[59:01]Damn it.

[59:01]I knew I would do that.

[59:02]And don't say anything about me killing it.

[59:04]Don't say it.

[59:05]Here's the deal is that he also used like 1994.

[59:08]You can think about the kind of computers they had, right?

[59:10]Like I was doing like, I was Apple two.

[59:13]Yeah.

[59:13]And I was doing like, oh, let's, oh, uh, uh, let's see.

[59:16]It's for a prime number.

[59:17]You know what I mean?

[59:18]Like I'm playing number munchers.

[59:19]This guy's taking frequencies in an inverted on trail to make this album.

[59:23]Yeah.

[59:24]Here lies big cock.

[59:26]You know what I mean?

[59:27]Like,

[59:28]you know,

[59:28]cause you could put your name on the gravestone.

[59:31]Okay.

[59:33]Diet of dip theory or got trail.

[59:35]You could put your name when you died.

[59:37]The name stayed on the gravestone.

[59:38]And somehow that was the only thing that was saved in the game.

[59:40]And so anyone in your class that died, when you played the game,

[59:43]you would come upon them.

[59:44]So everybody would name themselves like sweaty balls.

[59:47]You know what I mean?

[59:48]So the idea would be like, come upon a gravestone and be like,

[59:50]oh my God, somebody died here.

[59:51]Honey, kids get out of the wagon.

[59:53]Come here.

[59:53]Let's see who it is.

[59:54]Sweaty balls.

[59:57]Yeah.

[59:57]Thick dick.

[59:58]I met him at the general store.

[60:00]He was buying two strokers.

[60:03]And I was like,

[60:03]Rob got this and Terry Walgreens.

[60:07]And instead of getting antibiotics,

[60:09]he got the magic wand.

[60:10]I'm looking at my like a yearly,

[60:14]you know,

[60:14]use it or lose it spending.

[60:15]And I'm like,

[60:16]kid's medicine or the buzzy butt.

[60:19]We can't reimburse you for the buzzy butt, sir.

[60:25]That's not,

[60:26]that's not an eligibility.

[60:27]That's not an eligible medication.

[60:29]Cheap box of chocolates.

[60:36]I can buy for my partner on Valentine's day.

[60:38]Magic wand.

[60:40]Tough.

[60:41]You know what?

[60:42]Get both.

[60:43]Put one in the other.

[60:44]Oh,

[60:46]great.

[60:46]I didn't,

[60:48]I didn't know your family was going to be here.

[60:51]You know,

[60:51]stuff like that.

[60:51]So you were just Mr.

[60:53]You were just Mr.

[60:54]Self-destruct.

[60:55]I was right now.

[60:56]Yeah.

[60:57]I love it.

[60:57]It'd be long episodes.

[60:58]It's my favorite.

[60:59]Here's the first song.

[61:00]Mr.

[61:00]Self-destruct actually named after a Jesus Christ.

[61:04]After named after a soft sell song.

[61:08]And every song,

[61:13]every lyric in the song says,

[61:14]I am the blank and I control you.

[61:16]And then they use this in a Levi's commercial.

[61:19]What the fuck?

[61:20]The capitalism is wild.

[61:22]This is the hardest to listen to opening track.

[61:27]We've heard.

[61:27]In a long time.

[61:28]I agree.

[61:29]I met man always does a good job of time,

[61:31]but like it sets the tone.

[61:32]I knew immediately when I heard this,

[61:34]this is too hard.

[61:35]It's too intense.

[61:36]It's too loud for me.

[61:37]And then all of a sudden they were whispering.

[61:39]I was like,

[61:39]it's too whispery for me.

[61:41]Yeah.

[61:41]I knew right off the bat.

[61:42]Like this is like a super creative album.

[61:44]It's probably very influential.

[61:46]It's like one of a kind,

[61:47]but it's,

[61:48]it's too intense for me.

[61:49]It's I think it's interesting though,

[61:51]because I think this album and I'm going to say like,

[61:53]this is not an album and listen to a ton.

[61:55]But you have,

[61:56]if you look at this album is like,

[61:57]this is a rock album in 1994 that is using samples.

[62:01]Like how many rock albums were using samples of movies or whatever,

[62:05]right?

[62:06]That was the rock,

[62:07]the rock albums at that time were the complete opposite of that.

[62:12]So,

[62:12]and then,

[62:12]and then also I think the other way to think about this,

[62:14]and I think we see this in Trent Reznor's current work.

[62:17]This is a classical album.

[62:18]This is a classical music piece,

[62:20]right?

[62:21]And instead of violins or cellos,

[62:24]and instead of that,

[62:26]he's using computers.

[62:27]And apparently,

[62:27]he's metal saws,

[62:29]like grinding on metal.

[62:31]And like,

[62:31]he's,

[62:32]he's using these uncomfortable noises in the same way you'd use a flute or a triangle,

[62:36]right?

[62:37]Yeah.

[62:38]It's sort of,

[62:38]it sort of requires the same attention as a listener,

[62:42]which I didn't really have.

[62:44]It's the same thing.

[62:45]If you,

[62:45]if you put on classical music in the house,

[62:47]orchestral music,

[62:48]opera music,

[62:49]you can't ignore it because sometimes it gets so quiet.

[62:52]You can't hear it anymore.

[62:53]And you have to sit quietly and listen.

[62:56]And then it pounds you with,

[62:57]with noise and he does that a lot in this album.

[62:59]So that's a,

[62:59]that's an apt comparison,

[63:01]Rob.

[63:01]Yeah.

[63:01]Pretty dynamic,

[63:02]right?

[63:03]Yeah.

[63:03]Yeah.

[63:04]Like the music of my favorite composer,

[63:05]Pablo Picasso.

[63:07]All right.

[63:09]At the end of that album,

[63:10]we have Adrian Ballou playing what they call texture generating guitar.

[63:14]Our old friend from the Talking Heads.

[63:15]And he was also,

[63:17]yeah,

[63:17]and King Crimson as well.

[63:18]Oh,

[63:19]right.

[63:19]So this is how the album,

[63:21]this is how the song ends.

[63:22]Russell's just shaking his head.

[63:24]Russell's mad.

[63:25]All right.

[63:26]God,

[63:26]this is,

[63:27]this is tough.

[63:29]Next up,

[63:29]we have a song called Piggy.

[63:31]Now the guitarist claims

[63:33]that Trent Reznor thought he was working on his own music too much.

[63:38]And the guitarist's nickname was Pig.

[63:40]And this song was about him.

[63:41]And he,

[63:43]after this album,

[63:44]he left the band rather shortly,

[63:45]which would make sense if a,

[63:47]the head guy writes a song about you called Pig.

[63:49]Can you imagine?

[63:50]I just want to ask you,

[63:51]imagine working with somebody creatively,

[63:52]right?

[63:53]And you feel like you're getting along.

[63:54]You feel like you're making things.

[63:55]And they make a song that's mean to you.

[63:57]That would be the worst,

[63:59]right?

[63:59]That would be really,

[64:00]really bad.

[64:00]I know.

[64:01]How do you show up at the next week and record your stuff?

[64:04]It's hard.

[64:04]You really,

[64:05]you really have to be a big person,

[64:06]you know,

[64:07]very like,

[64:07]you know,

[64:08]you've got your emotionally mature and able to kind of realize the,

[64:13]the forest for the trees here.

[64:15]Yeah.

[64:16]You,

[64:17]the bigger person.

[64:18]I can't remember what we were talking about.

[64:20]I'm so sorry.

[64:20]I kind of zoned out there.

[64:21]Did you guys listen to this album on speakers or on,

[64:24]in headphones?

[64:24]Headphones?

[64:26]Because I'm at,

[64:27]I'm at fucking work.

[64:28]And if somebody heard me listening to this on a speaker at a school,

[64:30]I would be fired immediately.

[64:32]Speakers.

[64:32]But I,

[64:33]I wish I had done headphones.

[64:34]What'd you do?

[64:35]Russell?

[64:35]I did headphones and listen to like piggy is an example of people are

[64:39]listening to it,

[64:39]throwing your headphones.

[64:40]It is just jarring because the noise is coming from all over.

[64:44]It's from right to left and it's really quiet.

[64:46]And then it's just,

[64:46]it's shocking at times.

[64:48]It's,

[64:49]it's a really good,

[64:49]cool experience with headphones.

[64:51]Listen to this.

[64:51]There's one live drum on this whole album and it's Trent testing the drum

[64:55]microphones.

[64:57]But he liked the sound so much he wanted to put in the album.

[65:00]So he just stuck it over this song.

[65:02]He just looped it.

[65:04]Now,

[65:05]if that's a true story,

[65:06]I don't know.

[65:07]It sounds like another fake story,

[65:08]but,

[65:09]but it's,

[65:11]it's uncomfortable to listen to.

[65:13]Yeah.

[65:14]Uh,

[65:17]next up the song that was stuck in my head all yesterday.

[65:20]Unfortunately,

[65:20]heresy.

[65:21]I was singing this out loud in the school.

[65:24]Oh God.

[65:27]I mean,

[65:31]he's really working through some stuff,

[65:33]right?

[65:34]He's,

[65:34]he's got a lot of feelings.

[65:35]He needs to get out.

[65:36]So again,

[65:37]this album is about somebody's descent into madness and they feel like they're

[65:40]being taken over by a robot,

[65:42]which a lot of people have talked about.

[65:43]Maybe it's depression.

[65:44]Maybe it's drug abuse.

[65:45]Maybe it's just a story.

[65:47]And he's kind of adding all those things,

[65:49]but I just want to wish everybody out there.

[65:51]Merry Christmas,

[65:52]everybody.

[65:52]Merry Christmas.

[65:53]Happy holidays from your friends at Beck.

[65:56]Did it better?

[65:57]Hope you're sitting around the tree right now.

[65:59]Opening presents.

[65:59]I mean,

[66:01]it sounds like if Prince went alt rock,

[66:03]right?

[66:03]If Prince had a bad day and went alt rock,

[66:05]that's kind of what I hear.

[66:06]It's,

[66:07]it's different.

[66:07]It's,

[66:09]I mean,

[66:09]it's like,

[66:09]it sounds like he listened to the back half of 1999 and took the wrong

[66:14]message.

[66:14]Yeah.

[66:14]But you can see why I was singing that God is dead and no one cares.

[66:22]I mean,

[66:22]it's bad-ass,

[66:23]right?

[66:23]Like I could see where if I was,

[66:24]if I was a certain kind of person and I was 60,

[66:27]15,

[66:27]17 listening to this album,

[66:29]you'd be like,

[66:29]fuck.

[66:30]Yeah,

[66:30]this is speaking to me.

[66:31]Right.

[66:32]And then if you were that parent outside,

[66:33]you'd be like,

[66:34]Oh no,

[66:34]this is very,

[66:35]very bad.

[66:35]We need to talk.

[66:36]We have the lead single off this album.

[66:39]This is,

[66:39]can you imagine listening to this album?

[66:40]I mean like,

[66:40]okay,

[66:41]let's put a single.

[66:41]What are we going to play on the radio?

[66:43]Is it going to be the one that says God is dead and no one cares?

[66:45]Or the one that we said,

[66:46]I want to fuck you like an animal.

[66:48]Yeah.

[66:48]We should probably pick the fuck you like an animal,

[66:49]but that was the second single.

[66:50]This is March of the pigs.

[66:52]Okay.

[66:53]Jesus Christ.

[66:56]The fastest nine inch nail songs at 269 beats per minute.

[66:59]269.

[67:01]269.

[67:03]That's why it's double-sided Russell.

[67:05]It has three bars of seven eighths time and a,

[67:08]and a bar of eight eighths.

[67:11]So it's this weird,

[67:11]like 14,

[67:13]14,

[67:13]22,

[67:14]24 signature.

[67:16]It's very strange.

[67:17]I mean,

[67:20]it does seem to like,

[67:21]this does seem to,

[67:22]I get mad when stuff gets compared to jazz,

[67:25]but he seems to have listened to some jazz or maybe Frank Zappa.

[67:28]I mean,

[67:28]it does seem to share the lineage with some jazz music,

[67:33]more jazz fusion,

[67:34]you know,

[67:34]experimental stuff.

[67:35]But I think he must've listened to music like that.

[67:38]There's no doubt that Trent Reznor is a musical genius,

[67:40]right?

[67:40]He's a Tony away from E God in right.

[67:43]He got a Grammy,

[67:44]not only for his work with nine inch nails,

[67:47]he got a Grammy there.

[67:47]He also got a Grammy for the soundtrack to girls of the dragon tattoo.

[67:52]And then he got an Emmy for his work,

[67:55]work on the watchman.

[67:56]He is a musical composer.

[67:58]Now it's what he does.

[67:59]Like he obviously has musical chops.

[68:01]That's why I don't think this is just like a random album.

[68:03]You have to treat it like it's his whole vision.

[68:06]He knows what he's doing.

[68:07]I think there's a lot of thought behind it.

[68:10]It's hard to listen to,

[68:11]but there's thought behind it,

[68:12]man.

[68:13]I'm kind of curious.

[68:13]So you've talked like you're a smashing pumpkins guy,

[68:16]your Pearl jam,

[68:17]you like alternative music.

[68:18]Like this is mid nineties.

[68:20]Is this too hard for you?

[68:21]Or like,

[68:22]what's your,

[68:22]like,

[68:22]I remember,

[68:23]I mean,

[68:24]cause you think about Pearl jam,

[68:25]right?

[68:25]If you put a better man on,

[68:27]and then this song comes on,

[68:29]you know,

[68:29]like it's a great juxtaposition.

[68:32]Is that the right word?

[68:33]I don't know.

[68:33]What's the word for,

[68:34]you know,

[68:34]you know,

[68:35]it's awesome.

[68:36]So like,

[68:36]it's great.

[68:37]It was a great like album to listen to.

[68:42]I think at the time,

[68:43]and I just,

[68:44]I can't listen to it now,

[68:46]you know,

[68:46]to be honest with you,

[68:47]like it's different now,

[68:48]but the,

[68:49]the,

[68:49]to going from Pearl jam and like the smashing pumpkins and being all feely and to

[68:55]night to night,

[68:56]you know,

[68:56]to this.

[68:57]And then it leads into like where corn is,

[69:00]you know,

[69:00]like system of a down and all this stuff.

[69:02]Oh yeah.

[69:03]And you know,

[69:03]and I,

[69:04]and so I think like this was absolutely influential to what happened at the

[69:08]late nineties where we graduated high school.

[69:10]And so I thought it was great.

[69:13]And it was a great,

[69:13]an MTV would be this,

[69:16]this came on and then,

[69:17]you know,

[69:18]that you go to Atlanta's more sets and like that.

[69:19]So I don't know.

[69:20]I,

[69:20]I loved it at the time.

[69:22]Yeah.

[69:22]You know what I was,

[69:23]I was thinking about like,

[69:23]what other music is this like?

[69:25]And,

[69:25]you know where I,

[69:25]I learned a lot was if you like,

[69:28]if you have Spotify and you let it play through the album,

[69:30]they'll start playing other songs that are like it.

[69:32]So this is not a list,

[69:33]but I just wanted to tell you guys some of the songs that played after this.

[69:36]Oh,

[69:36]this is going to be fun.

[69:38]This is not a list.

[69:40]A list.

[69:41]The first one was Rob Zombie,

[69:43]living dead girl.

[69:44]Rob Zombie.

[69:45]This is kind of in that same vein,

[69:46]right?

[69:47]Um,

[69:48]sound garden blow up outside against the blow up outside the wind sound

[69:54]garden.

[69:55]Man,

[69:55]Alice and chain.

[69:56]Man,

[69:56]man,

[69:57]Matt perked up at that song.

[69:58]What was that song title?

[69:58]Man,

[69:58]I finally picked up,

[69:59]perked up with that one.

[70:00]I think about it,

[70:04]man.

[70:04]You should be playing that when you're doing your yard work out there,

[70:07]blowing up a 20 foot tree.

[70:09]I think people against the sun.

[70:11]Isn't that rage against the machine?

[70:13]Alice and chains rain when I die.

[70:18]And then Primus,

[70:18]John,

[70:19]the Fisher,

[70:19]Brian was for the songs that came up after that's it.

[70:22]Primus.

[70:22]I guess now we get,

[70:25]to the song that scared the shit out of me on MTV.

[70:28]Now he saw the video and he said,

[70:29]this is the one song I've ever done where I saw the video.

[70:31]And I said,

[70:32]this sounds better.

[70:32]And it's when I see the video and it's my video,

[70:35]this was the second single closer got all the way up to 41st on the

[70:40]billboard.

[70:41]And he claims that this song is about self-hatred and not about,

[70:50]as Aaron would say,

[70:52]having sex.

[70:54]Yeah.

[70:55]Why bother?

[70:55]I mean,

[70:56]you wrote a song that says,

[70:58]I want to penetrate you.

[70:59]Like just let it speak for itself.

[71:00]Don't try to lie to anybody.

[71:01]And not to,

[71:02]and not only that he's mad when people misinterpret it.

[71:04]In fact,

[71:05]this was ranked.

[71:06]Now this seems too high to me.

[71:07]This seems too high to me.

[71:10]AOL had 69 of the sexiest songs of all time.

[71:13]Now,

[71:14]can somebody put that in their tickler file for Valentine's day?

[71:16]Okay.

[71:17]And don't you said I wasn't allowed to show my tickler file on the,

[71:21]it was actually one of those things that was empty.

[71:23]Russell is one of the empty things.

[71:24]Oh,

[71:24]CVS was the tickler file.

[71:25]Um,

[71:26]but well,

[71:26]I emptied that out.

[71:27]AOL made a 69 sexiest songs of all time.

[71:31]And this,

[71:31]and this one,

[71:32]Hey,

[71:33]this is where I get my news.

[71:34]Do you guys,

[71:35]do you guys know anybody that we've done this one thousand percent?

[71:38]Do you guys know anybody who's got an AOL email address?

[71:40]My father,

[71:40]my father,

[71:42]there's listeners to this podcast that still have an AOL email address.

[71:45]My last one was pile of shit three at AOL.

[71:48]I was also playing AOL euchre in addition to Yahoo.

[71:51]I forgot that that wasn't AOL.

[71:54]I was,

[71:55]I was actually prodigy.

[71:57]I was prodigy at AOL.com.

[71:58]It was very confusing.

[71:59]I got,

[71:59]I didn't understand the internet at the time.

[72:01]I am the fire starter.

[72:03]We

[72:04]where was this on the list?

[72:07]Rob number two of the 69 sexiest socks.

[72:11]Get the hell out of here.

[72:13]Come on.

[72:14]What was number three?

[72:15]I mean,

[72:18]there's nothing sexy about the song,

[72:20]right?

[72:21]No.

[72:24]It sounds like a shit.

[72:25]No,

[72:26]wait a minute.

[72:26]I hear something.

[72:27]Maybe we get some jingle bells in there.

[72:31]I might work.

[72:32]Yeah.

[72:35]I'm hearing a lot of stuff in there that I actually get where they're coming

[72:37]from.

[72:38]A lot of bits in there.

[72:40]Um,

[72:42]and Molly and Molly crew,

[72:43]Tommy Lee.

[72:44]Now Molly crew's drummer,

[72:45]Tommy Lee.

[72:46]Okay.

[72:46]Who's famous mostly for his drumming and not anything else in my head said,

[72:50]come on,

[72:51]dude,

[72:51]I want to fuck you like an animal.

[72:52]That's an all time.

[72:52]Fuck song.

[72:53]Those are pure,

[72:54]fuck beats.

[72:55]Trent Reznor knew what he was doing.

[72:56]You can fuck to it.

[72:57]You can dance to it and you can break shit to it.

[72:59]And he,

[73:00]then he said,

[73:01]and you can also honk a boat horn with your huge cock to it.

[73:04]Okay.

[73:05]Which I've actually seen him do on a video.

[73:07]Okay.

[73:08]Have you ever seen that part of that video?

[73:09]I know I've talked about this before.

[73:11]I know just like AOL,

[73:13]just like the Yahoo,

[73:14]the AOL email.

[73:15]I have talked about this boat video.

[73:17]Tommy Lee is on a yacht with Pamela Anderson and they're both naked.

[73:21]I'm going to talk about it anyway.

[73:22]And he is,

[73:24]the wheel of a yacht.

[73:25]So I just want you to picture,

[73:26]what do you think the size of a wheel of a yacht is right?

[73:28]Just picture that.

[73:29]Maybe make that,

[73:29]make that length of your hand right now.

[73:31]You're driving it.

[73:31]What's the diameter of that wheel,

[73:33]right?

[73:34]Is cock stretch across that wheel.

[73:36]It went all the way.

[73:38]He honked the horn with it in the video.

[73:41]Look it up.

[73:42]We're.

[73:43]And by the way,

[73:44]we're going to rate.

[73:44]He has a diameter,

[73:45]not the radius.

[73:46]We're going to watch it after this record.

[73:47]Don't you guys fool yourself.

[73:49]Okay.

[73:49]This is good.

[73:49]And we're going to watch this immediately.

[73:50]It was so big and he can honk.

[73:52]The idea of me,

[73:54]honking a horn with my penis is so ridiculous.

[73:58]It's one of the,

[73:59]it's one of the wildest ideas to me.

[74:00]I can't even visualize what that horn would look like.

[74:02]I can't remember what episode it was where Russell rated it highly and noted

[74:07]that it was also a very clean episode.

[74:09]It was a couple of weeks ago.

[74:11]It was recent.

[74:12]This one,

[74:13]we can get there.

[74:14]We can get there.

[74:15]Let's turn it around.

[74:15]That's a good point.

[74:16]Let's turn it around.

[74:17]What do you think?

[74:18]Is that a fuck song?

[74:19]Would you guys,

[74:20]I mean,

[74:20]is that one you can fuck do or?

[74:22]Oh,

[74:22]I don't think so.

[74:24]I,

[74:24]that's no way,

[74:26]right?

[74:26]Like,

[74:26]I mean,

[74:26]no wonder,

[74:27]no wonder AOL is no longer the chosen email provider,

[74:32]right?

[74:32]It was at time Warner.

[74:33]Look at that list.

[74:34]And was like,

[74:34]I mean,

[74:35]I mean,

[74:35]when they,

[74:36]where did they jump the shark?

[74:37]Like,

[74:37]we think we figured it out.

[74:38]Like Rob,

[74:39]you're sitting at home in the basement and you're getting excited.

[74:41]The sexiest song list.

[74:43]You open it up and that's number two.

[74:44]Like you've got to get a new email after that,

[74:46]right?

[74:47]Oh yeah.

[74:47]Well,

[74:47]I mean,

[74:48]number two.

[74:49]Yeah.

[74:49]What is number three?

[74:50]What's like number three and four?

[74:51]I think also what's really funny is the idea.

[74:54]Like imagine if Gmail did that,

[74:55]where it's like Gmail 69 sexiest songs.

[74:58]It's so funny to me.

[75:00]All right.

[75:01]So,

[75:02]so here's.

[75:03]Okay.

[75:05]So I have,

[75:05]I only have the top five because I am looking at a message board at laughing,

[75:09]old laughing place.com.

[75:11]What is the internet?

[75:12]What is going on with my life?

[75:14]Anyway,

[75:15]what are the top five?

[75:16]Number five.

[75:18]Justify my love by Madonna.

[75:20]That is a sexy song.

[75:21]I do think.

[75:22]Sexy.

[75:22]Yeah.

[75:24]I just realized,

[75:24]I just realized how much work I'm making for myself as well.

[75:26]Do me baby.

[75:28]Do me baby by Prince.

[75:30]I don't even know that song.

[75:32]Oh yeah.

[75:32]I can hear that in the background.

[75:33]That sounds really good.

[75:34]Prince has got to have something on the list,

[75:35]right?

[75:36]I mean,

[75:37]Rob,

[75:37]didn't you do the sexiest song list and they were all Prince songs?

[75:39]Yeah.

[75:40]When doves cry is the sexiest song of all time.

[75:42]It's so hot.

[75:43]I mean,

[75:44]if Prince would have seen the buzzy butt,

[75:46]I'm sure that would have been at least an album,

[75:48]right?

[75:48]He could have done an album on the buzzy butt.

[75:50]It wasn't a purple box.

[75:52]You see,

[75:53]I don't know.

[75:54]What's number two?

[75:57]I'm not going to make a purple box job.

[76:00]Number three is love to love you baby by Donna summer.

[76:05]I think that's the one that famously there's audio of her actually having

[76:10]sex.

[76:10]Yeah.

[76:11]And I think actually we've done a list on that as well.

[76:13]Yeah.

[76:14]I think,

[76:14]yeah,

[76:14]I think she's actually like having sex in the studio.

[76:16]I mean,

[76:17]you guys,

[76:18]you tell me like when,

[76:19]when you're getting in the mood,

[76:20]don't you love to have like audio of other people having sex?

[76:24]Isn't that part of your part of your turn on or not?

[76:26]That's why I got two TVs in the bedroom.

[76:28]Do you really have two TVs?

[76:33]Is that true?

[76:34]Okay.

[76:35]I was going to say that's baller.

[76:36]One on the North wall,

[76:40]one on the South.

[76:41]You just never know.

[76:42]I mean,

[76:44]I would say,

[76:45]let's see.

[76:45]What's what's number one?

[76:49]You have two TVs and some people have STDs.

[76:51]Number one is number two is,

[76:54]closer by nine inch nails.

[76:55]No.

[76:56]Okay.

[76:57]And number one,

[76:58]number one is let's get it on by Marvin Gaye.

[77:01]So this is a wild list.

[77:03]Can you play that in order?

[77:04]The best part of this message board is at the end of the list of five.

[77:09]What did it say?

[77:09]What was the person's comment?

[77:13]Hmm.

[77:14]What does the next one say?

[77:18]And then the next one says,

[77:19]I like princess soft and wet.

[77:21]Oh,

[77:22]I,

[77:22]I used to really like closer,

[77:23]by nine inch nail,

[77:24]but now it just kind of bugs me.

[77:26]What?

[77:27]Come on.

[77:28]Some people would say it's a holiday song.

[77:30]Uh,

[77:31]all right.

[77:31]Next up we have runer.

[77:32]Now runer is a term he uses for anyone in political power.

[77:37]And this is now,

[77:41]this is kind of that back half of the album.

[77:42]Like,

[77:42]like Kate Bush,

[77:43]what I was talking about,

[77:43]where you see this descent into madness.

[77:45]This is where,

[77:48]I don't know,

[77:48]Russell,

[77:49]if you're going to ask me about his voice or not,

[77:50]but this is where like,

[77:52]this is,

[77:53]there's like a good dance song in here somewhere.

[77:56]Yeah.

[77:57]But then I,

[77:57]I,

[77:58]his,

[77:59]I mean,

[77:59]I think he ruins it on purpose.

[78:01]I think he takes something and it was like,

[78:02]it sounds pretty and he wants to wreck it like the Tyler Durden thing.

[78:05]But yeah,

[78:06]like,

[78:06]I think there's a good dance song in there.

[78:07]And then he just like screams on it.

[78:09]Well,

[78:10]according to Wikipedia,

[78:11]he started out in synth pop bands in the early eighties.

[78:14]Get it.

[78:15]I get it.

[78:15]The one thing I read is that,

[78:16]um,

[78:17]I don't know if we talked about like all the people in the band,

[78:19]but my understanding is Reznor played all the instruments on a lot of these

[78:22]songs,

[78:23]right?

[78:23]On the,

[78:24]for the recording.

[78:25]I never actually knew there were other people in nine inch nails.

[78:27]I thought it was just him.

[78:28]So I read that Reznor would like,

[78:30]if you go on genius,

[78:31]a lot of these songs,

[78:32]it just says all instruments,

[78:34]Trent Reznor.

[78:34]I didn't realize.

[78:35]So it made me start,

[78:36]it made me start thinking about the greatest songs ever where one person

[78:40]played all the instruments.

[78:41]Okay.

[78:42]So I thought we could do a list.

[78:44]Sounds great.

[78:46]Got any smashing pumpkins on this list,

[78:49]Russell?

[78:50]Actually,

[78:51]Matt,

[78:51]we can discuss that.

[78:52]Okay.

[78:53]Right.

[78:53]Right.

[78:53]Right.

[78:53]Russell,

[78:53]can I,

[78:54]can I be honest with you?

[78:55]And this might explain why the podcast is going the way it's going

[78:57]tonight.

[78:58]I thought for sure,

[78:59]this is a list about having sex about songs about having sex.

[79:03]So as we go through the list,

[79:05]just keep in mind that it's kind of a double entendre.

[79:07]Cause I also thought it was about having sex.

[79:09]Well,

[79:10]some of them might be,

[79:11]but some of them like the third song of this list,

[79:13]I don't see,

[79:13]or the fourth song.

[79:14]I don't see how you could have.

[79:15]I got to admit that third song.

[79:16]I was like,

[79:17]wow,

[79:17]Russell's really going to bring this home with this.

[79:19]He's got a real sweet tidbit to tell me why the third song on this list is

[79:23]about.

[79:23]About sex.

[79:24]So a couple of things we needed to mention one,

[79:26]we've covered this with Stevie wonder a number of times,

[79:30]right?

[79:30]He,

[79:30]he did higher ground village,

[79:33]ghetto land living for the city.

[79:35]Stevie wonder played all the instruments on all that.

[79:37]We've done Stevie wonder before.

[79:38]So we're not putting Stevie wonder on the list.

[79:40]He's,

[79:41]he's in a category of his own,

[79:42]right?

[79:42]So we're not going to revisit Stevie wonder.

[79:44]Got it.

[79:45]But when we talked about Stevie wonder once on inner visions,

[79:48]Matt actually brought up that Beck had played all the instruments on one of

[79:51]his songs.

[79:52]And I actually listened back to it.

[79:53]And it was kind of insulting.

[79:55]Matt and Aaron both said,

[79:56]no,

[79:57]Stevie did it better.

[79:58]We tried to do Matt did a better impression.

[80:00]And you guys both said,

[80:02]no,

[80:02]Stevie did it better.

[80:03]So I want to give a shout out to Matt to go back and listen to inner

[80:05]visions.

[80:06]Cause Beck did play a lot of instruments too.

[80:08]By the way,

[80:08]one of our better episodes is on our list of top up top episodes.

[80:12]We also talked,

[80:13]I believe D'Angelo played all the instruments and left and right on voodoo

[80:17]Aaron,

[80:17]Aaron,

[80:17]I know voodoo is one of your favorites,

[80:19]but we've talked to Angelo before.

[80:20]Yep.

[80:21]And then we've also talked a lot of Beatles before.

[80:23]But Paul McCartney,

[80:24]I understand essentially when he went,

[80:27]when he did McCartney one and two,

[80:29]he did all the instruments on those albums is my understanding.

[80:31]Is that right?

[80:32]I think when I went solo,

[80:33]he went full solo.

[80:34]Yeah.

[80:34]So,

[80:35]so none of those groups made the list.

[80:37]I know we've talked a lot of Prince before,

[80:39]but we're doing more Prince anyways,

[80:41]because Prince has got to be on this list,

[80:43]right?

[80:43]So this is a song we've talked about before.

[80:46]I think Rob brought it up on the sexiest songs ever from 1978.

[80:50]This is soft and wet from his first album.

[80:53]Oh,

[80:55]he playing the finger cymbals here.

[80:57]Russell,

[80:57]do I hear some finger cymbals back there?

[80:58]Well,

[80:59]I think never Matt listed all those off the one time.

[81:01]Yeah.

[81:02]27.

[81:04]And I believe this was his debut album,

[81:06]I think.

[81:06]And he played 27 different instruments on it.

[81:09]And he played all the instruments on it is my understanding,

[81:11]including hand clapping.

[81:13]I think.

[81:14]Yeah,

[81:14]that's right.

[81:14]Hey,

[81:15]there's,

[81:16]there's also something on here called wood blocks and brush trap.

[81:20]What's a brush?

[81:21]I don't know what a brush trap is.

[81:23]That was one of the,

[81:23]that was one of the things that was sold out at the CVS.

[81:25]I'm pretty sure.

[81:26]I actually saw that Trent Reznor was a big fan of Prince.

[81:28]He gave a shout out to Prince in pretty hate machines,

[81:31]liner notes.

[81:32]And he actually used a sample of alphabet street by Prince for the song ring

[81:37]finger on that album.

[81:39]Oh,

[81:39]wow.

[81:39]I can hear it.

[81:40]So I thought that was pretty cool.

[81:41]He actually was a big fan of Prince and sampled his stuff.

[81:44]I don't know any fucking print songs.

[81:46]You guys are keep talking about print songs.

[81:47]I've never heard any of these.

[81:48]I'm going,

[81:50]sorry.

[81:50]Next song on the list is,

[81:53]it's the holiday season.

[81:54]We've talked about this song once before,

[81:57]a long time ago.

[81:58]It's from 1983,

[81:59]Lindsay Buckingham holiday road.

[82:01]Oh,

[82:02]this one classic.

[82:04]We got,

[82:07]he's playing the guitar,

[82:08]bass,

[82:09]keyboards,

[82:10]percussion,

[82:10]drum machine,

[82:11]and the vocals.

[82:12]If you really think about it,

[82:14]this is also a song about sex,

[82:16]right?

[82:16]Maybe.

[82:19]I mean,

[82:19]I guess any son can be about sex.

[82:21]If you think about it,

[82:21]listen,

[82:22]I mean,

[82:23]just the back and forth holiday road.

[82:25]And it could be Christmas.

[82:29]This is Christmas vacation.

[82:30]It has to be one of the best holiday movies ever.

[82:32]Absolutely.

[82:33]What's your guys go to holiday movie.

[82:35]Now that we're in the season.

[82:36]Die hard.

[82:37]Mike.

[82:39]Well,

[82:40]we've,

[82:41]we've,

[82:41]we've done home alone.

[82:42]Now we did home alone and home alone to back to back nights.

[82:44]Recently.

[82:44]My recent go-to though,

[82:46]is a very Murray Christmas on Netflix.

[82:47]I'm sure I've discussed this before that one.

[82:50]I got to go back to.

[82:51]So we thought last night was our very Murray Christmas.

[82:53]And Matt,

[82:54]you got a favorite holiday movie.

[82:55]Well,

[82:56]other than the ones you've already named,

[82:57]but elf,

[82:58]you know,

[82:58]we watch elf pretty religiously.

[83:00]Hey,

[83:01]Willie.

[83:01]Yep.

[83:04]Yep.

[83:05]Got it.

[83:05]I was reading that.

[83:08]Lindsay Buckingham and Trent Reznor actually worked together in the studio for a while.

[83:13]They put three songs together and then they actually played together.

[83:16]I believe at the Grammys,

[83:17]there was a super group,

[83:18]a super group with the Josh.

[83:22]Is it Josh home?

[83:23]From Queens of the stone age.

[83:25]Yeah.

[83:25]Lindsay Buckingham,

[83:26]Reznor and Dave Grohl played at the Grammys and they actually got cut off by the producer at the end of the show.

[83:32]Cause they were playing too long and Trent Reznor got pissed and he said,

[83:36]music's biggest night to be disrespected.

[83:39]A heartfelt.

[83:40]Fuck you guys.

[83:42]If only someone had told him how much time he had to play,

[83:47]like I'm sure there was no,

[83:49]no plan.

[83:50]Like you could just get up there and play some songs.

[83:53]Yeah.

[83:53]Yeah.

[83:54]Trent,

[83:54]we're doing a TV show.

[83:55]A very,

[83:56]uh,

[83:56]everybody knows that we don't care about how long this runs.

[83:58]We're not super concerned about time.

[84:00]So dude,

[84:01]just go out there and noodle.

[84:02]We know you love to noodle Trent.

[84:03]Get out there.

[84:04]Matt.

[84:05]You'll also be interested to know this was actually the Blackhawks victory song when they won the Stanley cup in 2013.

[84:10]So we've talked about soccer goal songs and winning songs.

[84:13]This was their winning song for the Stanley cup.

[84:15]Who?

[84:16]Holiday road.

[84:17]Blackhawks.

[84:19]The black what?

[84:20]That's not their name anymore.

[84:23]Oh,

[84:23]the black Hawks.

[84:25]I thought I just,

[84:26]the black Hawks.

[84:28]Like the dude.

[84:29]Oh,

[84:30]we're doing that.

[84:30]This is like watching goddamn Degas.

[84:32]I mean,

[84:35]this guy's an artist.

[84:36]Before we move to the next one,

[84:40]I wanted to,

[84:40]I wanted to bring something up.

[84:41]Matt mentioned smashing pumpkins.

[84:43]My understanding,

[84:44]Matt is that Billy Corgan was not playing the drums on those.

[84:47]Jimmy Chamberlain is too good.

[84:49]Yeah.

[84:50]Next song on the list is from 1983.

[84:52]This is a song.

[84:53]Um,

[84:54]we probably would expect to hear from Aaron about not wanting to work.

[84:56]This is Todd Rudgren.

[84:57]Bang the drum all day.

[84:58]Oh yeah.

[85:00]You could see,

[85:03]you could see my point of view here too,

[85:05]Russell,

[85:05]right?

[85:06]I mean,

[85:07]this could be,

[85:08]right?

[85:09]I mean,

[85:09]this could be like,

[85:10]I don't want to work.

[85:11]I just want to bang the drum all day.

[85:13]That kind of sounds like you need some solo lotion.

[85:15]I mean,

[85:17]how long can you really bang the drum for all day or not?

[85:20]I'll see.

[85:20]That's a,

[85:20]that's the thing is I collect rebates.

[85:22]That's where that,

[85:23]you know,

[85:23]that joke should have been.

[85:24]That's where that joke belongs right there.

[85:26]It feels like it'd be a great song to play at a sporting event.

[85:28]I can't,

[85:29]but I can't really think of,

[85:30]you know,

[85:31]it's,

[85:31]it's,

[85:31]it's interesting,

[85:32]Aaron,

[85:32]because the bangles have used it for their,

[85:35]their song.

[85:36]I believe the Colts have used it for their touchdown song.

[85:38]And actually the Rams used it as their Superbowl.

[85:42]I do remember that.

[85:42]1999 season.

[85:43]So as far as I know,

[85:45]there are only three teams in the league that have ever used bang the drum as their scoring song.

[85:51]Those three teams.

[85:53]Greatest show on turf.

[85:54]That was so fun.

[85:54]Every time I was just probably the best team to ever use that song,

[85:58]right?

[85:58]Absolutely.

[85:58]So in that song,

[85:59]Todd Rudger was playing the cymbals,

[86:01]the snare drum,

[86:01]the drum machine,

[86:02]the bass,

[86:02]and whatever the Roland Jupiter is.

[86:04]Roland Jupiter.

[86:05]Roland Jupiter.

[86:06]Wasn't that the name of somebody's girlfriend that we just talked to?

[86:09]Yeah,

[86:09]that was Van Morrison's girlfriend.

[86:10]I think it was Roland Jupiter,

[86:11]right?

[86:11]Or no,

[86:12]that was Janet planet.

[86:13]I'm another thing is Trent Reznor,

[86:18]clearly influenced by Todd grinder Runger.

[86:20]And he said,

[86:20]he's a hero of mine.

[86:21]His records,

[86:22]his songs,

[86:23]songwriting,

[86:23]his production,

[86:24]and his musicianship all played a huge role in shaping me into who I am.

[86:28]And I still listen to him today.

[86:29]He's a wizard.

[86:30]Wow.

[86:31]I don't know a single other Todd Rembrandt song,

[86:33]except for banging the drum all day.

[86:34]I think he's on the list.

[86:36]Isn't he?

[86:36]Matt Gandalf,

[86:38]uh,

[86:39]Voldemort,

[86:42]Todd Rudger,

[86:44]Mr.

[86:45]Wizards and Bradley Beal.

[86:48]Yeah.

[86:53]And me pretty soon.

[86:55]Cause I drank too much water.

[86:56]So here's the deal.

[86:57]It's the Jupiter Roland.

[86:59]It's the Roland at Jupiter.

[87:00]I thought you were saying rolling Jupiter,

[87:02]the Roland,

[87:03]like it's a synthesizer.

[87:04]It's a keyboard.

[87:05]Oh,

[87:06]well he played it.

[87:06]Yeah.

[87:07]Well,

[87:07]he didn't just want to bang on the drum.

[87:08]So Tyler Rangan,

[87:10]a test test from this podcast for lying to us.

[87:13]So the next song in the list is from 1985.

[87:15]This is the one where Rob confused me by thinking this was a sex list,

[87:19]but there is a titular track and it's from the album center field.

[87:23]It's John Fogerty center field.

[87:24]I put me in.

[87:27]Well,

[87:27]okay.

[87:27]So

[87:28]okay.

[87:30]Put me in coach.

[87:32]And you're telling me this isn't a song about sex.

[87:35]I'm ready to play today.

[87:37]Come on.

[87:39]Rob,

[87:41]you're you got vacation break.

[87:43]You got vacation break.

[87:45]I've seen this record at at least three different record stores recently.

[87:48]And I,

[87:50]and I can't figure out like when you,

[87:52]when,

[87:53]when you start to see the same record in multiple used record bins,

[87:56]you know,

[87:56]like maybe it's just the one song that's good.

[87:58]But every time I see it,

[87:59]I think,

[88:00]God,

[88:00]that'd be nice to have in my collection,

[88:01]but I haven't,

[88:02]I've never listened to the whole record.

[88:03]So I haven't done it.

[88:04]So you're telling me that guy fucking did the claps on that song.

[88:07]Those are the best claps in music.

[88:09]I think he did.

[88:11]I think there's a machine,

[88:11]but I don't know all the instruments on this song,

[88:13]but on this album,

[88:14]he played guitar,

[88:15]drums,

[88:15]sax,

[88:16]bass,

[88:16]keyboards,

[88:17]and the drum machine.

[88:18]Listen to the,

[88:18]listen to these claps.

[88:23]I'm ready to play.

[88:25]Go get it here.

[88:26]That's a machine.

[88:28]You're right.

[88:29]Unless John Corbett is a perfect hands.

[88:32]Todd Rundgren is number three 96.

[88:36]It's on the list.

[88:38]All right.

[88:38]We will,

[88:39]we will get to a Todd Rundgren list.

[88:41]Interesting thing.

[88:42]You guys remember the lyrics,

[88:43]a rounding third,

[88:44]heading for home,

[88:45]a line taken from brown eyed,

[88:47]handsome man by Chuck Berry.

[88:49]And now when we know what we know about Trump,

[88:53]Chuck Berry,

[88:53]brown eyed,

[88:54]handsome man has a whole different meaning.

[88:56]What type of year end or what?

[89:03]That's the rear end.

[89:05]Matt,

[89:07]you'll appreciate this.

[89:10]You were a baseball player.

[89:11]There's only been one song that's ever been honored slash inducted into the

[89:15]baseball hall of fame.

[89:16]And it's center field,

[89:17]the 2010 hall of fame.

[89:19]Part of the induction ceremony was celebrating this song.

[89:22]It's the only song to,

[89:23]to ever make it into the baseball hall of fame.

[89:24]And it gets played.

[89:25]It gets played nonstop at the hall of fame too.

[89:29]I looked at me really nonstop.

[89:32]It was interesting.

[89:32]Take me out to the ball game.

[89:34]Seventh inning stretch.

[89:35]That's not in the hall of fame.

[89:36]One other thing you guys would get a kick out of.

[89:38]I was reading,

[89:38]I was reading another one of those message boards.

[89:40]They were talking about bands where really one artist was doing all the

[89:44]music for the band.

[89:45]And they were saying that when Fogarty was with credence,

[89:48]they should have called him Fogarty and the credences.

[89:50]And then they listed some other ones.

[89:52]So see what you guys,

[89:53]think of these Chicago,

[89:54]Chicago rivers,

[89:55]Cuomo and the Weezers.

[89:56]I like that.

[89:57]It's kind of catchy.

[89:58]That's catchy.

[89:59]Billy Corgan and the smashing pumpkins.

[90:01]I would disagree.

[90:02]Trent Reznor and his nine inch nails.

[90:05]And then the last one,

[90:08]Adam Levine and the maroons.

[90:10]No,

[90:11]PJ Morton would have something to say about that.

[90:13]Yeah.

[90:14]You would know other guys in maroon five.

[90:17]What the fuck?

[90:18]PJ Morton.

[90:19]He was a keyboardist.

[90:19]What,

[90:20]what,

[90:21]what sort of inappropriate Texas,

[90:23]he's this is so late in the show to do this.

[90:27]You just pulled maroon fives keyboardist.

[90:29]He's really good.

[90:31]Put your ass on the glass and watch it shake or whatever.

[90:35]No,

[90:35]I want to buy that ass a steak dinner.

[90:37]The last one is from 1986.

[90:40]This was an all timer for a bus in college.

[90:43]Oh God.

[90:43]Karaoke.

[90:44]It's Clarence Carter.

[90:46]Stroke.

[90:46]Stroke.

[90:47]Clarence Carter.

[90:48]Clarence Carter.

[90:49]Oh shit.

[90:50]Roosters.

[90:51]Played all the instruments.

[90:53]You get where I was coming from.

[90:54]Like rooster.

[90:55]Oh,

[90:56]rooster.

[90:56]Oh,

[90:57]rooster.

[90:58]So let me just catch people up.

[91:01]I know.

[91:01]That was a fun four months.

[91:02]I know that right now you're looking at the podcast time and you're like,

[91:04]Jesus Christ,

[91:04]this is a long episode.

[91:05]But I just want to explain what this rooster bit is.

[91:08]There was a karaoke bar in the town next to our town and it was run by a guy named rooster.

[91:14]Oh,

[91:14]but hold on.

[91:15]It gets better than that.

[91:16]It gets better.

[91:17]Rooster had,

[91:17]it's been,

[91:18]sorry,

[91:18]hold on.

[91:19]It's been there forever.

[91:20]Yes.

[91:21]And so this guy had it.

[91:22]It's been there forever.

[91:22]It's been there forever.

[91:22]It's been there forever.

[91:23]He passed it down to his wife.

[91:24]Rooster was married to the,

[91:26]to this guy's wife.

[91:27]They got divorced.

[91:28]He got the bar.

[91:30]Yes.

[91:31]In the divorce.

[91:32]I didn't know this.

[91:33]Yeah.

[91:34]Oh yeah.

[91:34]Okay.

[91:35]So then now,

[91:36]now continue Rob.

[91:37]So it's not like he just bought a bar.

[91:38]Like there's,

[91:39]and I heard that in the divorce,

[91:41]she got his teeth because this guy had two teeth.

[91:44]He had two fucking teeth and he ran a bar.

[91:47]So he'd be up there.

[91:48]And not only did he do a bar,

[91:49]he did karaoke every Wednesday.

[91:50]Right.

[91:51]And so he would,

[91:53]he would basically hit your prices once a night.

[91:55]He would do what pretty much is my dream.

[91:58]When you own a karaoke bar.

[91:59]And actually,

[92:00]if you think about it now,

[92:01]it's kind of creepy,

[92:02]right?

[92:02]Like this isn't a holder guy.

[92:03]This is a college bar full of co-eds.

[92:06]And he then gets up to the front and he will start singing fucking stroking.

[92:11]So here's this guy.

[92:13]He has four teeth in his skull and he is singing stroking in front of a group of college age students.

[92:22]Who are howling because we are laughing at this guy singing stroking,

[92:28]acting like he's so cool.

[92:29]He's fucking blasted up on stage.

[92:31]We think it's the funniest fucking thing.

[92:33]It's like going to a freak show.

[92:35]What is the,

[92:36]what is the last part where it's like,

[92:37]you know,

[92:38]the,

[92:38]the,

[92:39]the rooster part,

[92:39]but is it,

[92:40]is it to say clearance?

[92:41]Yeah.

[92:42]He goes stroke a clearance.

[92:43]Don't stroke so fast.

[92:45]If your stuff ain't tight enough,

[92:47]you can stick it up my woo.

[92:49]Oh,

[92:49]I know that.

[92:50]I haven't listened to that fucking song.

[92:52]I haven't heard that 20 years.

[92:55]I bet.

[92:56]I haven't heard that song.

[92:56]And I know every fucking word.

[92:58]So they changed it.

[93:00]It was the L and M and then they changed it to roosters.

[93:03]Man.

[93:04]Six months later,

[93:05]it's back to the L and M six months later.

[93:09]It's back to the L and M.

[93:10]It was just,

[93:11]everybody was shocked.

[93:11]Yeah.

[93:12]They were so shocked.

[93:13]He was like passing out like Red Bull vodkas.

[93:15]Like they were candy.

[93:16]And they had,

[93:17]and I still remember if you got there from nine to 10 o'clock,

[93:21]the pictures are like $3.

[93:22]So from 10 to 11,

[93:23]they were four.

[93:24]And after 11,

[93:25]they were $5 for a picture of fucking beer.

[93:27]And that was also a place where a picture and a burger basket for $5 total.

[93:32]Like you get a picture and a burger basket for $5.

[93:34]That was also the place where I famously won the karaoke contest there.

[93:39]You beat rooster.

[93:41]Well,

[93:41]he wasn't in the contest because that was,

[93:43]there's no way you would have whooped your ass.

[93:45]I was singing.

[93:46]I sang,

[93:47]let's get it on.

[93:48]Okay.

[93:49]The number of some people are saying it's the number one sexiest song of all time.

[93:51]I won.

[93:52]I won the contest.

[93:53]And what did I win?

[93:55]What did I win in the contest?

[93:57]What'd you win?

[93:58]A free burger.

[93:59]Now it was not a free burger.

[94:02]It was a gift certificate for a free burger.

[94:05]So at some point.

[94:07]Did you have to use it in a different way?

[94:08]I had to go back in the light of day.

[94:12]Or,

[94:12]you know,

[94:13]like when you open up your Safari browser on your phone in the morning and you see what you were looking at last night and you go,

[94:17]Jesus Christ,

[94:18]I'm a monster.

[94:19]That's what it was like.

[94:21]You got to X out of that at the end of the day.

[94:22]You can't let that scare you in the morning.

[94:24]You got to X out.

[94:25]When I went into Roosters in the bright of day and I saw what it looked like,

[94:28]I was like,

[94:29]are you fucking kidding me?

[94:30]I have spent hours in this place.

[94:31]I have spent more time here than I have at the library in college.

[94:34]I swear to God,

[94:35]that's true.

[94:35]True.

[94:36]It's true.

[94:36]It's insane.

[94:37]Can you imagine if you had that,

[94:39]that gift certificate now?

[94:40]And you,

[94:41]I mean,

[94:41]you'd probably frame it and put it on that wall behind you,

[94:43]wouldn't you?

[94:44]I have a burger from Roosters.

[94:45]Oh my God.

[94:47]Russell,

[94:48]tell you what,

[94:48]that was a top five list.

[94:50]Great list.

[94:51]I can't remember what it was about.

[94:52]That was great.

[94:52]That was easy.

[94:54]One interesting thing about that song,

[94:56]that was song was so dirty and they never made a clean version.

[94:59]So they never put it in stores.

[95:00]They never put it on the radio station and it got popular.

[95:04]They essentially made singles and just put them in jukeboxes.

[95:06]Awesome.

[95:07]So it just got,

[95:08]it just got listened to at bars and that's how it became popular.

[95:11]I do want to,

[95:13]I do want to remind everybody if we were talking about Clarence Carter and we

[95:16]don't care what time we go to bed tonight.

[95:17]I just want to remind you my favorite Christmas song.

[95:20]Aaron said,

[95:20]or Matt said joy to the world.

[95:22]Joy to the world.

[95:23]Again,

[95:23]not barely a Christmas song.

[95:25]The best Christmas song of all time is backdoor Santa by Clarence Carter.

[95:29]It is so fucking good.

[95:31]And do you know what backdoor Santa had in his sack?

[95:35]You want to guess?

[95:36]What's that?

[95:38]The buzzy butt.

[95:39]Let's hear a part of all this is that Clarence Carter also recorded patches.

[95:46]One of the saddest songs in recorded human history.

[95:49]Aaron,

[95:50]I got to say,

[95:50]I love that song.

[95:51]I know it's sad,

[95:52]but if I listen to it,

[95:53]I like start singing along.

[95:54]I love that song.

[95:55]Great song.

[95:55]Excuse me.

[95:56]Listen to the lyrics here.

[95:56]Listen to the bass.

[96:00]Listen.

[96:01]So there you go.

[96:07]That's what you have to know about Clarence Carter.

[96:08]He wants to let you know Santa only comes once a year.

[96:10]Once a year,

[96:11]just nail you to the wall.

[96:12]Just talk about green balls.

[96:14]I mean,

[96:14]green cherries,

[96:15]right?

[96:15]That was that the bit?

[96:16]Jeez.

[96:17]The green cherries.

[96:18]Listen,

[96:19]the only one I was going to,

[96:20]I was going to add is I think when food,

[96:22]food fighters first formed,

[96:23]I think Dave Grohl did everything.

[96:26]You're right.

[96:26]First album.

[96:27]I think the food fighters debut album.

[96:29]He did.

[96:29]There was a number of artists that have done it.

[96:31]Uh,

[96:31]I don't need to,

[96:33]we've spent too much time on it.

[96:34]I would talk about my mother-in-law,

[96:36]my mother-in-law,

[96:37]Patty.

[96:37]We haven't talked about pet.

[96:38]She loves when we get into these little nuances.

[96:40]Apparently she likes when we talk about all of our musical knowledge.

[96:43]So I was going to say that Tom Petty invited Dave Grohl to come.

[96:47]He was going to come be a drummer.

[96:49]The Tom Petty fired him and said,

[96:51]Nope,

[96:51]you're not going to do it.

[96:52]Cause he's not going to do it.

[96:52]Cause he thought he was too good at writing his own songs and everything.

[96:55]And so he did him a favor and said,

[96:57]Nope,

[96:57]you're not going to come be our drummer.

[96:58]You got to go do your own thing and do that.

[97:00]Like the Will Hunting thing.

[97:01]Yeah.

[97:02]And that's what,

[97:03]yeah.

[97:03]If you're here,

[97:04]if you're still here in 16 years,

[97:06]I'm going to kick your own ass.

[97:07]Yeah.

[97:08]We are halfway through the album.

[97:10]Track seven.

[97:11]They'll be coming out of 14.

[97:12]Here we go.

[97:14]Track seven.

[97:16]Good thing I'm not against the wall to edit this thing.

[97:19]I was reading the guitar on this one is Adrian Ballou again.

[97:22]They were using a ring modulator.

[97:24]If you guys remember,

[97:25]we talked about that.

[97:26]I believe it was on the radio head one.

[97:30]Wasn't it?

[97:31]We did the list on the best ring modulator songs.

[97:33]Remember it had the South Park theme song and the Aussie song.

[97:36]That's that ring modulator.

[97:38]We ring modulated our voices,

[97:39]right?

[97:39]Wasn't that one of the funnier ones we did?

[97:41]Yes.

[97:41]That was so good.

[97:42]Yes.

[97:42]So this is the transformation.

[97:45]And again,

[97:46]happy holidays to everybody.

[97:47]I hope you're having a good time opening those presents around the trees

[97:49]with your friends and family.

[97:50]Don't take it for granted.

[97:51]Love those guys.

[97:52]This song is about a transformation from man to machine,

[97:56]possibly figuratively as Trent Reznor loses his ability to feel.

[97:59]So something to think about when you're listening to this over the holidays.

[98:02]I do not want this.

[98:03]I wrote down.

[98:10]Jesus Christ.

[98:11]Scared me.

[98:13]This gets into a little more rhythm later.

[98:15]I said,

[98:16]there is no freak on a leash by Fred Durst or Limp Bizkit or whoever that was

[98:20]without this song.

[98:21]That was corn.

[98:22]Wasn't it?

[98:22]Yeah.

[98:24]Those,

[98:24]they were the freaks,

[98:26]whatever,

[98:26]you know,

[98:27]the same.

[98:27]All of them.

[98:30]You're right.

[98:30]You're absolutely right.

[98:31]Uh,

[98:33]the big man with a gun.

[98:34]I don't get this song.

[98:41]It's subtle.

[98:41]This is an atrocity.

[98:48]This is,

[98:48]it is.

[98:51]I'm like,

[98:52]I'm like,

[98:52]I'm not disagreeing.

[98:53]I'm not disagreeing.

[98:54]This is going on.

[98:55]But if you read like where Trent,

[98:56]he grew up in like the middle of nowhere,

[98:58]Pennsylvania,

[98:58]right?

[98:59]And so I hear songs like this,

[99:01]or he probably didn't play football on the football team.

[99:05]And he probably was just hanging out,

[99:06]like create music.

[99:07]Trent Reznor.

[99:08]Yeah,

[99:10]no,

[99:10]it doesn't make sense.

[99:11]You're right.

[99:11]You know what I mean?

[99:12]But this feels like a big,

[99:14]like FU to these guys.

[99:16]He used to know,

[99:17]or like the lifestyle back in Pennsylvania.

[99:19]Cause all he wanted to do was get out of there and create music,

[99:21]things like that.

[99:22]So when I hear songs like this,

[99:24]like not a good song,

[99:25]right.

[99:25]But like he,

[99:26]you hear when he's like making fun of the guys,

[99:28]like I got a big gun and I'm going to use,

[99:30]you know,

[99:30]it sounds like that's what he's doing to me.

[99:32]But girls only like guys who play sports are popular.

[99:34]And I have some of the nicest fishnet gloves anywhere.

[99:37]And the girls don't even like me.

[99:38]We say that a lot.

[99:40]Chicks,

[99:41]chicks,

[99:41]like guys with skills.

[99:42]You got to have a skills.

[99:44]By the way,

[99:45]my kid,

[99:45]my younger kid,

[99:46]who's a clone of me,

[99:47]she went to a mall the other day.

[99:48]She was very excited.

[99:48]She's like,

[99:49]dad,

[99:49]they have this store called hot topic.

[99:51]Oh no.

[99:52]It's awesome.

[99:53]And I was like,

[99:53]Hey,

[99:54]I fucking agree.

[99:55]I think that store fucking rocks.

[99:56]I thought for sure she was going to say Spencer gifts,

[99:59]but she did not.

[99:59]They have a shirt about big Bush.

[100:03]All the old hits on this one.

[100:06]A warm place.

[100:07]Wife swap.

[100:08]Again,

[100:09]happy holidays to everybody.

[100:10]I wish I turned off those explicit lyrics at a younger age.

[100:13]A warm place.

[100:17]Yeah.

[100:17]She,

[100:17]no,

[100:17]no,

[100:18]she didn't say she was playing our podcast during the barbecue.

[100:20]She's not going that far.

[100:21]Guys,

[100:22]they have a great bit about how if the jack off juice was water soluble,

[100:26]you couldn't get it off,

[100:28]but they have a toy cleaner.

[100:29]They wrap it up at the end.

[100:30]It's actually a really good bit.

[100:31]I like this one.

[100:34]All right.

[100:35]A warm,

[100:36]Hey,

[100:37]flip those burgers.

[100:38]A warm place.

[100:39]So this is getting into some cinematic kind of feel,

[100:45]right?

[100:45]So what,

[100:46]what they're saying,

[100:47]this is that we're descending into madness.

[100:49]And this is a sliver of hope before the protagonist,

[100:52]ultimately succumbs to the inhuman voice in his head.

[100:54]Now in this song,

[100:55]Aaron,

[100:56]we hear something called the late motif.

[100:57]Am I saying that right?

[100:58]A late motif,

[100:59]a light motif.

[101:00]Aaron in this song,

[101:01]we're in something called a light motif.

[101:03]Am I getting that right?

[101:03]A light motif.

[101:04]One of my favorite.

[101:06]Can you explain to me?

[101:07]And you'll hear this,

[101:07]that ding,

[101:08]ding,

[101:08]that piano kind of going into the downward spiral.

[101:11]What does that mean?

[101:12]A light motif is a musical theme that generally represents a character or an idea.

[101:18]And can recur throughout a composition,

[101:22]remind you of that,

[101:22]of that character.

[101:23]I think Wagner is sort of credited as the first person to,

[101:27]to come up with this idea.

[101:29]And then I think modern audiences would recognize it like most prominently from

[101:34]John Williams and,

[101:35]and star Wars where every character had their own theme.

[101:38]And it comes back when,

[101:39]which,

[101:40]you know,

[101:40]like awkwardly Leia's love theme plays when Luke and Leia are looking at each

[101:44]other and new hope.

[101:45]And then you realize in Empire Strikes Back that like,

[101:48]that's kind of weird.

[101:49]And I know you're trying to get in here,

[101:50]Rob,

[101:51]but I'm going to keep going.

[101:51]Go ahead,

[101:52]Rob.

[101:52]You,

[101:52]so it's,

[101:53]it's kind of like,

[101:54]it's kind of like,

[101:55]I also think of that with like Peter and the wolf,

[101:57]right?

[101:57]And it's like the part of Darth,

[101:59]the part of Darth Vader played by the clarinet,

[102:02]but it's not just,

[102:05]it's not just an instrument.

[102:06]It's a theme or an idea.

[102:08]Part of Jar Jar Binks will be played by the banjo.

[102:13]I mean,

[102:14]I could,

[102:14]I could do a million of these.

[102:15]But I think we hear that in this with that piano bit,

[102:20]right?

[102:20]Like that spare piano,

[102:21]that you hear in a lot of these songs,

[102:23]you're going to hear it more and more late motif.

[102:25]Of course,

[102:26]as we go eraser,

[102:27]this is a buildup of a drum loop.

[102:30]And eventually this is him kind of breaking through the madness,

[102:34]this voice.

[102:35]So then the next song reptile is here is human side recognizes what's going

[102:47]on.

[102:48]And so it's the only one that doesn't have a voice.

[102:51]It facts on it.

[102:52]So you're hearing a normal human voice for the first time.

[102:55]All album.

[102:55]It's like all of a sudden you're listening to the guy from blink 182.

[102:59]Put over some real guy who believes in aliens.

[103:05]Oh yeah.

[103:06]He's into some weird stuff now.

[103:07]He's got some out there.

[103:08]You guys know when we do these albums,

[103:12]I get into some weird stuff and sometimes it's a weird cocktail.

[103:15]And tonight we're doing a drink on side too.

[103:17]Oh,

[103:17]nice.

[103:18]So tonight we're doing,

[103:21]it was not in booze and vinyl,

[103:23]either one or two,

[103:24]but I thought what we could do is a rusty nail in honor of the 90s.

[103:27]You guys ever do a rusty nail or not?

[103:30]Yeah.

[103:30]Good.

[103:30]So per the book,

[103:33]there's no tetanus shot needed for this.

[103:35]It includes scotch and Drambuie.

[103:41]Yeah.

[103:41]Any guesses if I've got either,

[103:45]I'm going to go with my gut on this one.

[103:50]I'm going to go.

[103:51]I'm going to go with my gut on this one.

[103:51]I'm going to say you've got the Tambuie,

[103:53]but no scotch.

[103:53]So you've got like a whiskey Tambuie.

[103:55]Unfortunately,

[103:56]I got home tonight.

[103:57]I didn't have either.

[103:58]So I had to go with some replacements.

[104:00]So I had whiskey instead of scotch.

[104:02]So I just went with whiskey and I decided in honor of music,

[104:06]I've decided because you guys didn't let me do my drink on the Metallica album.

[104:09]I'm,

[104:10]I'm drinking my blackened whiskey,

[104:12]a Metallica limited edition whiskey in my rusty nail tonight.

[104:16]Okay.

[104:16]Your stools are going to be so dark tomorrow.

[104:18]And I'm sure I made that joke last time you drank that too.

[104:21]So I read that Drambuie is a sweet gold colored liqueur.

[104:26]That's usually used for rusty nails.

[104:28]Okay.

[104:28]And I actually couldn't really find a lot of replacements,

[104:31]but what I read was that it was a superbly smooth taste marked with spiced

[104:35]honey.

[104:35]So tonight when I'm drinking the honey is my Metallica whiskey.

[104:40]Yes.

[104:41]Spiked with some honey over the rocks.

[104:45]So I'm drinking a honey whiskey on the rocks.

[104:49]That's a rusty nail.

[104:50]All right.

[104:51]Does it get any good honey whiskey?

[104:53]Is it,

[104:53]is it,

[104:54]it's,

[104:55]it's kind of putting me in a gloom scape.

[104:57]It's perfect for this album.

[104:58]All right.

[104:59]I used to drink rusty nails over it.

[105:00]Was it Lucia's in,

[105:01]in uptown?

[105:02]Is that place still around?

[105:03]Uh,

[105:04]just closed.

[105:05]Oh,

[105:05]they used to have a rusty nail.

[105:06]I used to like,

[105:07]they're opening another Italian spot.

[105:09]So now we get to the part where,

[105:12]and again,

[105:12]happy holidays.

[105:13]The robot side of his brain is encouraging suicide.

[105:15]And we hear this late motif.

[105:17]And some people are saying late motif too.

[105:19]Not sure.

[105:20]Can't remember.

[105:21]Right here.

[105:25]Oh,

[105:26]okay.

[105:26]Yeah,

[105:26]yeah,

[105:26]yeah.

[105:27]Russell,

[105:31]do you like this song?

[105:32]That part is probably the second best part of the album after closer that,

[105:37]that plucking right there.

[105:38]That,

[105:40]that's the second best part,

[105:41]but then I think it gets it creepy talking coming up here,

[105:44]right?

[105:44]No,

[105:45]I don't think so.

[105:45]I think it ends with happy birthday.

[105:47]Jesus.

[105:50]This song.

[105:51]I do love the screaming in the background,

[105:54]right?

[105:54]So actually,

[105:58]so we,

[105:59]I don't really know.

[106:01]So are there other members of the band nine inch nails?

[106:03]Does he record everything?

[106:04]And then he's just got touring members or are they real members of the band?

[106:07]No,

[106:08]I think there's people that have been in and out and like,

[106:10]he's kind of pissed them off or they're,

[106:12]they're not happy.

[106:13]Cause he just wants to control everything,

[106:14]which,

[106:14]you know,

[106:15]just fine.

[106:16]So I think early,

[106:17]early members had,

[106:18]had left.

[106:19]We could probably read about it.

[106:21]So I was reading,

[106:22]there was a guy from 2008 to 2009.

[106:25]Um,

[106:26]his name was Justin Meldal Johnson,

[106:29]and he was the touring basis,

[106:31]guitarist and keyboard player for nine inch nails for two years.

[106:35]Okay.

[106:36]And he actually also played with Beck from 1996 until 2016.

[106:41]Whoa.

[106:42]And he also played on Beck's morning phase,

[106:46]which won the Grammy for best album of 2015.

[106:48]Yep.

[106:49]One of the songs he played on was Blackbird chain.

[106:51]This is him playing the bass with Beck on a Grammy winning album.

[106:57]This guy's clearly got his chops together.

[107:02]Cause if he's playing with Beck and nine inch nails,

[107:05]holy cow.

[107:06]And he was kind of,

[107:07]he actually had interviewed and they were saying,

[107:09]how do you,

[107:10]how does it compare working with Trent Reznor and working with Beck?

[107:12]He said,

[107:13]they both have a similar way of using talent.

[107:15]They're very nuanced and anything you can think of,

[107:19]they care about all the details.

[107:21]And he could see as time went on that they're not that dissimilar and that

[107:24]they share like a heavy duty work ethic and a total ignorance of how the

[107:28]clock is turning.

[107:29]And that can be a good thing for musicians,

[107:31]but nine inch nails never won best album.

[107:35]They won best alternative album a few times,

[107:37]never won best album like Beck did.

[107:39]So when it comes to making a Grammy award winning album with Justin

[107:44]Meldal Johnson on bass,

[107:46]who did it better?

[107:46]Did it better?

[107:48]There's a,

[107:50]according to Wikipedia,

[107:51]there's officially two members currently of nine inch nails,

[107:54]Trent Reznor and something called Atticus Ross.

[107:57]There's some touring members.

[107:58]And then there's like 13 people that are key former members.

[108:02]So I don't think,

[108:03]I don't think too many people like being around a Mr.

[108:06]Reznor for too long.

[108:07]Yeah.

[108:08]Come over to my house.

[108:09]Remember all the murders.

[108:10]Atticus Ross is the one he works with on film scores now,

[108:13]I think.

[108:13]Right.

[108:13]Yeah.

[108:14]There you go.

[108:15]Hurt.

[108:16]What if like 10 years from now,

[108:18]like we're just touring members of Rob's podcast,

[108:21]like he's the only actual member.

[108:22]It's just Rob and we're touring members and it's like him,

[108:26]magic Mike and Jeff.

[108:27]I'll go find three other guys that can hang out at midnight on a

[108:31]Thursday.

[108:32]Sure.

[108:32]I'll see you guys there.

[108:33]Rob,

[108:33]Rob,

[108:34]just make sure you make sure that contact contract with Jeb is rock

[108:38]solid.

[108:38]You can't trust.

[108:40]No,

[108:40]no,

[108:40]no guys.

[108:40]You should see my rate of return.

[108:43]I've promised.

[108:43]It's so good.

[108:45]Just don't let,

[108:47]just don't loan him any money.

[108:48]Okay.

[108:49]Don't do it.

[108:49]Wait,

[108:50]don't.

[108:51]Oh,

[108:52]I couldn't read my handwriting.

[108:53]Shit.

[108:54]I loaned him so much money hurt.

[108:57]Now,

[108:59]of course you got to talk about the Johnny Cash version.

[109:01]I have to.

[109:02]Sure.

[109:02]Even Trent Reznor said,

[109:03]but when he heard it,

[109:04]I got to fast forward.

[109:06]I can't start from here.

[109:07]When he heard it,

[109:08]he realized that he had lost the song to Johnny Cash.

[109:12]It was too good.

[109:12]Now again,

[109:12]I don't totally buy that.

[109:14]I think he's saying that.

[109:14]I don't either.

[109:15]Yeah.

[109:15]I think he still thinks deep down.

[109:17]His is superior,

[109:18]which is wrong.

[109:20]Cause I think he's just paying respects to Johnny.

[109:23]Can we,

[109:23]cause it took me a while.

[109:25]It took me a while to really like Johnny Cash's version,

[109:27]but you know,

[109:29]cause I did like this one when it first came out.

[109:31]And so it took me a while to come around.

[109:33]Now I'll probably take the Johnny Cash version,

[109:35]but I mean,

[109:36]this is today was the first time I've ever heard the nine inch nails

[109:39]version.

[109:39]I don't think I'd ever heard it.

[109:41]Yes.

[109:41]I had only heard the Johnny Cash version until I listened to this album.

[109:46]When I come doing a Dern,

[109:49]you know,

[109:49]when you get through,

[109:50]the song,

[109:50]like,

[109:51]yeah,

[109:51]I distinctly remember that being like,

[109:54]this is sweet.

[109:55]It is good.

[109:55]I mean,

[109:55]I liked it more than I can tell you what Johnny Cash cut out was this

[109:59]part where you have about 30 seconds of just instrumental.

[110:02]He went right back into the,

[110:04]into the verse here.

[110:04]And I also think he got rid of all the,

[110:06]the horrible audio and the static as well.

[110:09]I didn't like that.

[110:11]Rob,

[110:11]can you fast forward?

[110:12]Can we find where,

[110:13]you know,

[110:13]cause it's,

[110:14]it's a,

[110:14]it's acoustic guitar and the Johnny Cash version.

[110:17]Yeah.

[110:17]Yeah.

[110:18]It's like piano.

[110:19]And I,

[110:20]I think something right here.

[110:21]I do like this.

[110:21]That is this part of it on the drums and the piano comes in.

[110:26]Yeah.

[110:26]I like,

[110:26]I would put this right up there for one of the best ending bits of the

[110:30]album because you've had all this stress building up and now some people

[110:34]see this as a thing about addiction.

[110:35]Some people see this as a continuation of the story he's telling here.

[110:40]I think it's a great song.

[110:43]I mean,

[110:44]I think he wrote a great song.

[110:45]It's a,

[110:47]it's a,

[110:48]it's one of the best songs.

[110:49]It's one of the,

[110:50]one of the best fully formed songs.

[110:50]Like you can't imagine this song not existing,

[110:53]right?

[110:53]Like this is,

[110:54]you know what,

[110:55]Rob,

[110:56]I would echo what you're saying on this for the closer,

[110:58]like given what's the tone of the album and everything.

[111:01]I think it's a fantastic,

[111:02]it's the whole album's not for me,

[111:04]but given the tone of everything else,

[111:07]I think it makes a lot of sense.

[111:08]I'm giving this song,

[111:09]the official Rick Aguilera award.

[111:11]It's a great close.

[111:14]The Rolades fan of the week.

[111:16]This is me.

[111:17]Eddie Bardano award.

[111:19]Jeff Reardon.

[111:20]Okay.

[111:21]Wait a minute.

[111:21]Time out.

[111:22]Which one of those was funniest guys?

[111:24]Jeff Reardon,

[111:25]Eddie Bardano,

[111:27]or what did I say again?

[111:28]Maybe I said Rick Aguilera.

[111:31]Rick Aguilera.

[111:31]Okay.

[111:32]Russell,

[111:32]which one of those was funniest?

[111:33]All three of us had to go with the joke.

[111:34]Russell,

[111:35]which one was funniest?

[111:36]And if you had to make a funny one,

[111:37]what would you have said?

[111:38]I would have probably gone with El Gasolino,

[111:40]Juan Barry.

[111:41]Oh,

[111:41]damn it.

[111:42]Russell.

[111:43]Shit.

[111:44]We can do this after the show.

[111:46]We can do this right now.

[111:47]Who is the greatest twins closer of all time?

[111:49]Oh,

[111:49]Joe Nathan.

[111:51]It's gotta be Nathan,

[111:51]right?

[111:51]Yeah.

[111:53]Easily.

[111:53]I don't know.

[111:53]Eddie,

[111:54]Eddie,

[111:54]Eddie was around for a lot longer.

[111:56]Wasn't he like,

[111:57]no,

[111:57]no,

[111:58]no,

[111:58]no.

[111:58]I've got a,

[112:00]I've got a Bing link to video to twins closer.

[112:03]But when Nathan was great,

[112:04]he was great.

[112:05]Oh,

[112:07]what?

[112:07]Oh,

[112:08]Matt's Googling.

[112:08]I can see him.

[112:09]I'm going to have to edit this out now.

[112:10]I think it's,

[112:11]it's well known.

[112:12]Joe Nathan was,

[112:14]was in line with like the Kirby Puckets of the world.

[112:17]Maybe you could play either Jingle Bells or the Centerfield song.

[112:19]I'm going to have to keep this song in the background while Matt's Googling baseball stats.

[112:21]That's a great idea,

[112:23]Russell.

[112:23]I'm going to have to keep this song in our night for baseball stuff.

[112:27]Matt,

[112:27]tell us who played more seasons with the twins.

[112:29]Oh,

[112:30]I'm trying to look it up.

[112:31]What about,

[112:34]who won the world series with them?

[112:35]That was Jeff Reardon was the first one.

[112:39]Uh,

[112:41]all right.

[112:41]We had Matt Capps.

[112:42]Matt Capps.

[112:43]The Hawk,

[112:45]Latroy Hawkins.

[112:46]Twins trivia.

[112:49]We got Ron Davis from 82 to hold on.

[112:54]Not a real guy.

[112:55]So Joe Nathan was the closer from 2004 to 2011.

[113:02]He had 260 saves though.

[113:05]So he had a lot of saves.

[113:07]Rick Aguilera was from 89 to 99,

[113:10]254.

[113:11]Jesus.

[113:12]Eddie Gordado,

[113:13]93 to 2003 and then 2008.

[113:17]So he's technically years.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]Yeah.

[113:19]But he's only got 116 saves.

[113:21]Yeah.

[113:22]I think he might've been a kind of a journey.

[113:24]I think,

[113:24]well,

[113:24]I think he was a starter that moved into it,

[113:26]but he was Ben with the,

[113:28]cause I remember he was with the team forever,

[113:30]but Nathan was like,

[113:32]you know,

[113:33]six,

[113:33]seven,

[113:33]eight years,

[113:34]Aguilera,

[113:34]10,

[113:35]Eddie,

[113:35]11,

[113:36]Jeff Reardon,

[113:37]87 to 89.

[113:38]So he,

[113:39]he can go,

[113:39]but yeah,

[113:40]so they're all,

[113:41]they're all pretty,

[113:42]there's some hate class.

[113:43]Joe Nathan clearly is like,

[113:44]you know,

[113:45]he's got the most saves,

[113:46]but so you're,

[113:48]yours is the funniest.

[113:49]Rob.

[113:49]Thank you.

[113:50]I wanted to hear the funniest one.

[113:52]This,

[113:52]this part has to say,

[113:53]I think it does.

[113:54]Rob's right.

[113:55]I think it does.

[113:56]It might get us.

[113:58]Can you imagine if we get copyright struck?

[113:59]Cause we're looking at baseball stats.

[114:01]And John Fogarty comes in and goes,

[114:03]I wrote that song and I played every fucking instrument on that song.

[114:06]Obscured your ass into the ground.

[114:09]I did it better than that song.

[114:11]I did.

[114:11]Yeah.

[114:11]Oh my God.

[114:12]Oh,

[114:13]Latroy Hawkins.

[114:15]Well,

[114:15]he's a,

[114:15]he wasn't a closer.

[114:16]Really?

[114:17]He's got 44 saves,

[114:18]but he was 95.

[114:18]Did you,

[114:19]he had a long,

[114:20]long run.

[114:21]I'll tell you what,

[114:22]if,

[114:22]if,

[114:23]if,

[114:23]if I think if we got sued by John Fogarty and we claimed fair use,

[114:28]and then the judge says,

[114:30]uh,

[114:30]foul use,

[114:31]foul use.

[114:32]You know what I mean?

[114:33]Come on.

[114:33]Come on.

[114:34]I mean,

[114:35]come on.

[114:35]We're just trying to have fun.

[114:36]I think we're just trying to have fun.

[114:37]It's time to say,

[114:40]no,

[114:40]no,

[114:40]no.

[114:40]We still have like three segments left.

[114:42]Yeah.

[114:43]We're doing an air in or air out as well.

[114:44]I forgot to tell you guys that.

[114:45]All right.

[114:47]So let's get into nobody's,

[114:49]everybody's favorite part of the show.

[114:50]It's the count.

[114:51]Nope.

[114:52]It's the waterbed corner.

[114:53]Nope.

[114:54]It's the,

[114:54]I got to organize these.

[114:56]I really do.

[114:57]Why is rating system way up here?

[114:59]Do you guys see where it is?

[115:00]Rating system.

[115:01]Please don't talk to me.

[115:06]This thing.

[115:07]Still one of the best sound clips I've ever made.

[115:13]All right.

[115:16]Let's not talk about starts.

[115:18]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:18]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:18]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:18]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:19]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:19]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:19]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:19]We don't need to talk about starts.

[115:19]We don't need to get distracted by anything more.

[115:20]Listen,

[115:21]is this album at one 22,

[115:23]the downward spiral by nine inch nails.

[115:25]Okay.

[115:26]Is this a perfect album at one 22?

[115:29]I'll tell you what it's,

[115:30]it's not your album that you would think about just putting on for vibing

[115:33]out in college.

[115:34]In fact,

[115:34]I would highly recommend against that,

[115:35]but it did change music or ever.

[115:40]Okay.

[115:40]And a lot of people haven't been commenting on my corn impression that

[115:43]I've been doing multiple times during this episode.

[115:44]So,

[115:46]so I just want to just,

[115:48]I just want to just say that I do think it's actually good that I do

[115:51]that.

[115:51]And so somebody would say,

[115:53]Hey,

[115:53]guess what?

[115:54]This album is so good.

[115:56]It should be higher up on the list,

[115:57]which is a lower number.

[115:59]Okay.

[116:00]So some people would say,

[116:01]ah,

[116:01]how many numbers up should it be?

[116:03]Well,

[116:03]I don't know,

[116:03]maybe nine.

[116:04]And so then how many inches nine?

[116:09]Rob,

[116:10]this depends on the size.

[116:12]It depends on the size of your steering wheel.

[116:13]Apparently you see me with like a little change.

[116:18]So you should get a really small steering wheel for your,

[116:21]for your pontoon boat up at the cabin.

[116:23]I'm telling you,

[116:24]I don't even know if I could touch the thing,

[116:26]the keys go in,

[116:27]in the boat,

[116:27]like with a combination of my stomach.

[116:31]I don't want to get into it.

[116:32]It's geometry really.

[116:33]So then some people would say,

[116:36]listen,

[116:36]some would say physics.

[116:38]Some people would say,

[116:38]you know,

[116:41]does this song deserve to be on the list?

[116:43]And you know what they would say?

[116:44]Nine inch nails.

[116:47]If they were German,

[116:48]they would say nine.

[116:48]I mean,

[116:49]it must've been confusing.

[116:49]If you were a German listening to nine inch nails,

[116:51]because some people,

[116:52]they like,

[116:52]Hey,

[116:53]what are you listening to?

[116:53]Nine inch nails.

[116:54]What?

[116:56]No,

[116:57]the nails are no inches.

[116:59]No,

[117:00]no.

[117:00]And they don't even know what inches are.

[117:01]Cause they use them.

[117:02]Oh my God.

[117:03]They don't even know what inches are.

[117:05]So confusing for them.

[117:07]What?

[117:08]And the ironic thing is,

[117:10]is that's called the Imperial system.

[117:11]Think about that for a second.

[117:12]It would be like 22 centimeters.

[117:18]And they're European.

[117:19]They're 22 centimeter nails.

[117:21]So that would be nine,

[117:25]not on the list.

[117:25]It would be higher on the list,

[117:26]which of course is a higher number.

[117:28]And that means lower on the list.

[117:29]We haven't gotten to it yet.

[117:30]So I'm going to edit that out where I didn't make that mistake.

[117:32]Or is this a rolling well tone?

[117:35]That would be a rolling grown by the way,

[117:36]if it should be lower on the list,

[117:37]a higher number,

[117:38]or is it a rolling well toned?

[117:40]Okay.

[117:40]This is perfect here.

[117:41]This is exactly what we want to hear.

[117:42]It's like,

[117:43]yes,

[117:43]I love music,

[117:44]but could I hear metal grinding on metal?

[117:45]Well,

[117:46]this is the album for you.

[117:47]This is a rolling well tone.

[117:48]At this point,

[117:49]rolling well,

[117:50]rolling toned,

[117:51]rolling bone.

[117:51]Oh,

[117:51]I screwed up.

[117:53]I got to start over.

[117:54]So is this album at one 22?

[117:57]What do you think?

[117:59]Aaron rolling?

[117:59]Well,

[117:59]toad rolling bone or rolling grown the downward spiral 1994 by nine inch

[118:04]nails,

[118:05]except when they're on tour and then they're 22 centimeter nails.

[118:09]This is longer than our James Brown episode,

[118:11]which had five CDs.

[118:13]Yeah.

[118:15]I'm going to try to keep it short.

[118:16]I CDs nuts.

[118:18]I respect this album.

[118:19]I think there's a lot of thought put into it.

[118:22]I think it's important to a lot of people,

[118:23]but I don't think it's better than some things that are about to come after it.

[118:28]So I'm going to give it a rolling grown.

[118:29]All right,

[118:31]Matt,

[118:32]what do you think?

[118:33]Is this a rolling well toned,

[118:35]rolling bone or rolling grown nine inch nails?

[118:38]You know,

[118:40]that Burt Bly 11 has 149 wins for the twins.

[118:43]Rad key has 148.

[118:45]That do the hall of fame.

[118:47]That's bogus,

[118:48]right?

[118:48]Got more wins than him at the twins.

[118:50]That's the twins.

[118:51]But like,

[118:52]remember he used to just give up home runs all the time.

[118:54]Like he was in some really bad losing season.

[118:57]So I think rad keys probably should be a lot higher,

[118:59]but he's fourth on the list.

[119:01]So if,

[119:02]if,

[119:02]if Bert,

[119:03]if Bert Bly 11 or if Bert Bly 11 was the announcer for Menards,

[119:07]you know how the Menards guy died.

[119:08]If they were doing an ad for products in the personal intimacy aisle,

[119:12]would he circle them?

[119:13]Oh,

[119:14]Hey everybody.

[119:16]Welcome to Menards.

[119:17]Listen,

[119:17]you're going to get some great,

[119:18]great deals.

[119:18]Come on down.

[119:19]We've got the butt buddy today.

[119:21]It's only $11.

[119:21]That's not too cheap for somebody to stick up your ass.

[119:24]And don't forget to get your rebate and get 11% off.

[119:28]You see Matt going by with this cart.

[119:31]He's got all these inflatables.

[119:32]He goes,

[119:32]the backs,

[119:34]the cart up a little bit circle.

[119:37]We'll put it underneath this one.

[119:39]Nobody will see it.

[119:40]We'll be okay.

[119:41]Sorry,

[119:41]Matt.

[119:41]I interrupted.

[119:42]This one technically also inflates.

[119:43]So this counts.

[119:45]I can write this off.

[119:46]I am going to give this a,

[119:48]a rolling groan.

[119:49]The next two albums are so much better than this album.

[119:53]He's got some great songs.

[119:54]He's absolutely influential to what kind of comes later.

[119:58]Nothing that's actually on the list,

[120:00]but like just from a popular music standpoint.

[120:02]So I'm going to give this a rolling groan.

[120:05]I think it's too high on the list.

[120:06]It could also be called the 0.22 meters.

[120:08]Nails.

[120:10]Fuck.

[120:10]I said inches.

[120:11]Just boy.

[120:13]I mean,

[120:14]how did Russell,

[120:15]how did you get 22 centimeters out of that?

[120:18]That's actually really good.

[120:18]That's just crazy.

[120:19]I would call this group,

[120:22]you know,

[120:22]I would call this group 0.00014 miles nails.

[120:26]Oh,

[120:29]my ranking.

[120:33]Oh yeah.

[120:33]Sorry,

[120:33]Russell.

[120:34]What do you think?

[120:34]All right.

[120:35]You know what?

[120:37]We listened to Elvis Costello and we called him like uninspired,

[120:42]right?

[120:43]It was just nothing to it.

[120:45]This one,

[120:46]here are the words I wrote down loud,

[120:47]abrasive,

[120:48]jarring,

[120:48]uncomfortable,

[120:49]aggressive,

[120:49]terrifying,

[120:50]disturbing,

[120:51]horrifying.

[120:51]This album like evokes a certain emotion,

[120:55]which is a very powerful thing,

[120:56]but it's not what I want to listen to.

[120:59]There's no part of me that wants to come back and listen to.

[121:01]So I give it a ton of credit because it is like one of a kind.

[121:04]It is super powerful,

[121:05]but it,

[121:06]it,

[121:07]it just is not for me.

[121:08]So I'm with you guys.

[121:09]I'm going to say it's rolling,

[121:09]grown too high.

[121:10]I would say it's a 2.41 to the negative 10 to the negative 17th power.

[121:15]Light years.

[121:17]Nail,

[121:17]nails.

[121:18]All right.

[121:20]So the correct answer is,

[121:22]unfortunately you guys are wrong or whatever.

[121:23]The correct answer is not rolling depression.

[121:26]Cause of course I've done that a number of times.

[121:28]And everybody remembers that I did that more than once.

[121:30]It is a rolling duration.

[121:32]This album is an hour and eight minutes long of metal on metal.

[121:36]It is too long.

[121:37]Albums that are over an hour should be illegal.

[121:40]Okay.

[121:41]And they should be censored.

[121:42]And Aaron's giving me a big nod to that.

[121:43]He loves that idea.

[121:44]Next up.

[121:44]Listen guys.

[121:46]Next.

[121:47]I have an album.

[121:48]Oh my God.

[121:49]Oh my God.

[121:50]Don't.

[121:52]Don't do this to yourself.

[121:54]Rob.

[121:55]I mean,

[121:55]this is what I'm talking about.

[121:56]Past Rob does not give a shit about present Rob.

[122:00]Present Rob.

[122:01]Past Rob fucked me.

[122:03]Okay.

[122:04]I had such good bits earlier.

[122:07]Remember the bit about the refrigerator that jacks you off.

[122:09]That was good.

[122:10]That was gold.

[122:11]And this is what I'm going to end on this joke.

[122:12]Let's hear it.

[122:14]I mean,

[122:15]center field being about sex.

[122:16]That was it.

[122:16]Okay.

[122:17]Not bad.

[122:18]And this is terrible.

[122:19]Put me in coach.

[122:20]I've got an album that I shoplifted when I was younger.

[122:29]Oh,

[122:30]I got out of it.

[122:32]When I told the store owner that everyone was telling me they needed to take a number two.

[122:36]And I got confused.

[122:37]Next up.

[122:39]We have Led Zeppelin too.

[122:40]I'm sorry.

[122:42]You made it to the end of this podcast.

[122:46]God only knows how long it's going to take.

[122:47]God only knows how long it is.

[122:47]God only knows what the end time is.

[122:49]And that's the last three songs of all time.

[122:52]God only knows.

[122:53]If you want to hear four guys who chat and then they get off track.

[122:56]I got this one, Rob.

[122:58]I got a,

[122:59]I got a request for you.

[122:59]You're going to have to do something for me though.

[123:01]Russell,

[123:02]I got bad news.

[123:03]I also got one better.

[123:04]Hey Rob,

[123:05]could you lay the jingle bell down track quick?

[123:07]Hustle.

[123:08]Don't you?

[123:09]My God,

[123:12]that's terrifying.

[123:12]And I love you more now.

[123:14]I love you more.

[123:16]You want his approval.

[123:17]You want his approval way more now,

[123:19]don't you?

[123:19]I love you.

[123:20]I love you.

[123:22]Oh my God.

[123:25]That was powerful,

[123:25]Russell.

[123:26]Hey guys,

[123:28]do you guys see what's coming?

[123:30]It's,

[123:30]and of course it is a holiday.

[123:32]So we just want to tell our fans,

[123:33]thank you.

[123:33]And have fun sitting around the Christmas tree with your family.

[123:35]But do you hear that?

[123:37]A noise?

[123:38]And it,

[123:38]what is,

[123:39]I,

[123:40]I hear a disturbance and I throw back the sash.

[123:42]And you guys know how big the sash is at my house.

[123:46]I'm throwing,

[123:46]I'm throwing that sash back.

[123:47]Okay.

[123:48]And I look and I see it.

[123:50]What is it?

[123:51]Something that's big.

[123:53]It's flying toward me.

[123:54]It's at night.

[123:55]I can hear its wings beating,

[124:00]right?

[124:01]And it's coming.

[124:02]Excuse me,

[124:04]Russell.

[124:04]I have to start the story over.

[124:06]It's coming toward the house.

[124:09]It's careening toward me.

[124:10]I'm terrified.

[124:11]It looks organic.

[124:12]It looks alive.

[124:13]And all of a sudden I hear go.

[124:16]Quack.

[124:17]Quack.

[124:19]My wife gets out of bed and she goes,

[124:23]look at that big bill.

[124:26]It's time to say.

[124:36]Oh my God.

[124:39]This is such a long episode.

[124:41]Call me Big William.

[124:42]Big Bill's my father.

[124:46]I'm trying.

[124:48]Oh,

[124:49]I wasn't recording.

[124:50]Shit.