Creedence Clearwater Revival: Willy and the Poor Boys (1969)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to make this music music like a cow like the music music uh-huh he's speaking spanish like musica oh my god it's for our bilingual fans hey uh yo soy musica see i got it let's not it's Spanish for yo soy bomb musica you think the soy bomb guy was ever confused when he said

[00:34]yo soy bomb and everybody's like what's the soy bomb guy oh my god look up soy bomb you don't even know soy bomb the guy who ran on the stage and he had soy bomb written on him and everybody's like what the oh yeah yeah they were like what the fuck is that guy about he's like i'm soy bomb and they're like well i guess there's something a 44 year old is going to remember 10 years later okay can't remember any of my kids friends names can't remember soy bomb oh yeah we're only 44 that's right three of us no two only half of this podcast is 44

[01:03]guys when i turn 69 what a party will you still need me will you still be are we guys are we gonna be going to vegas when we're 69 art like all my kids could come along even have to and i'm gonna buy matching jumpsuits with my bros i cannot wait to piss into a bag that's attached to my leg the number of the major problem i have with vegas is i cannot find the bathroom

[01:33]if there was just a bag on my leg that i could piss in oh it'd be great i'm like a camel at vegas i can go the first like 10 12 hours with not moving from the chair you can go the next day without moving from your bed dude i can do a full shift at the table the full shift the next night at the bed without moving where's russ it's like he's like a fucking nuclear submarine captain where's russ we haven't seen him for nine months i'm sure he's okay all right nuclear submarine reference hey can i say this to you guys

[02:06]i'm being serious i mean 100 serious right now i feel like you are not laughing at my jokes enough okay there have been some jokes on the last couple episodes which i have told which in my head were really good when i said them okay and i'm not getting the laughter i need so i need you guys to lift bros you know what we should be doing bros should be lifting up bros okay so i need you guys to lift bros you know what we should be doing bros should be lifting up bros i need you guys to laugh at some of my jokes all right please yeah you want is there like a signal

[02:32]for when there's a joke give us a heads up when we need to pay attention no you guys just listen rob can you take rob can you take your earphones off for a second i can i see apologize for bringing no uh yoko ono on the podcast no no he doubled down on it yeah go ahead go ahead rob bring your earphone oh yeah rob we're gonna laugh your jokes for sure no problem this will be a good episode can't wait for all these jokes all right we'll get ready to go ready okay hold on to your butts we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research

[03:03]all the pains have you ever had someone tell you that they they know that they should laugh at people's jokes even when they're not funny because it makes them feel better and then you start thinking wait is that what they're doing with me oh that's i don't think that russell that's don't go down that i mean deep dark spiral that's like it's like i wonder what my wife thinks about when you cannot win best case scenario you worst case scenario anyone else

[03:35]any if she's like oh it's not you you'd be like oh i'm devastated but if she asked me what i'm thinking about oh my god she'd have her stuff in a bindle like a hobo she'd be on the next train going westbound i'll tell you that right now i'm out of here i mean it's me and this can of beans i'm in the rails oh she brings the can of beans you're thinking about what

[04:00]you haven't seen her since junior year of high school you know what i mean she stabbed a kid in your school and you know she did and you're thinking about her i've been i i mothered your children okay laugh this is the joke sign right here i have a new opening for my stand-up routine you want to hear yes what is it yes please i just want to lose enough weight so my wife laughs at my jokes because she's worried i'm

[04:32]going to cheat on her that's a great one funny that's a great one very good we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better we are all the way up to album 193 and from 1969 okay starting to think maybe you guys aren't listening to me it's the album that wikipedia says is what number 193 on the rolling stone top 500 list

[05:02]it's william the poor boys by creed's clear auto revival hey from now on bring a nickel clap your feet ccr what'd you say i was just trying to quote the song well well thanks for thanks for ruining my sorry my man jesus find another one right he can edit it out let's you know what aaron can you do me a favor can you crank up this radio yeah turn it up let's crank it hey turn off the lights and i'm gonna and and i'm gonna you know what aaron can you do me a favor can you crank up this radio yeah turn it up let's turn it off let's turn it off and then reach over to the right side of the stall

[05:30]and you're gonna feel something that's warm okay it's actually really warm just grab it and start cranking it and then we're gonna listen to our public radio okay don't don't do that i don't hey rob take your headphones off one more one more quick all right i will all right is it did he get less funnier after he asked us to laugh at the jokes do you think it's a coincidence or what i am concerned yeah i don't know i've been watching some i've been watching some like cult videos you know and this is usually a sign when the cult guy is starting to feel pressure and when he starts even like coming down and even harder and making you kind of brainwashed stuff so

[06:03]i don't know maybe his maybe maybe his cult is uh maybe he's probably the fuck fest is coming soon too so i'm not really sure if he starts asking for us to pay him more money then we gotta watch out guys look at him look at him rocking in his chair he just needs to get back in so look at him rock he can't i know his shirt fell off listen uh tonight's uh fuck fest is canceled instead we're going to practice shooting our ak-47s no reasons at all all right pants off all right let's turn on the radio and get more of that humor

[06:35]okay that's coming up right now and turn it to k-rob k-r-o-b what's up everybody welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b and you know sometimes a guy just wants to come home and sit in the chair as long as that oh yeah erin's wife wants to buy him a gift because she loves her husband

[07:06]she asked if he wants a chair that he can sit on then he screams i want an eames that's what i want to sit on yeah yeah and i don't care that this chair cost eight thousand yeah yeah erin comes home after his day of work which means he just changes rooms

[07:35]but then his kid is in the chair with an ipad and cartoons hey that ain't fair that is my chair don't you spin it too much then erin's kid comes up to him he kicks him right in the nose oh and then we're going to practice shooting our ak-47s that's the second song where erin's got kicked in the nuts

[08:03]if you want to sit in my eames chair i'll make some space if you want to come over it jack rebooting there what's happening um one leg over my shoulder i i gotta say i pulled up a picture of an eames chair every time i see it i get it nice chair looks comfy it's a nice chair man i enjoy it but i said

[08:33]been sitting there watching silo at night it's so nice i was in there last night watching star wars visions it was beautiful such a nice time every one of my friends dads was like well if i have a computer desk i probably need a wheelchair yeah problem is this room is full of carpet so i'm gonna get one of these shitty plastic mats to put down you know that's definitely not gonna ruin this room like they were always the shittiest mats from other computers like where are you willing to you're wheeling over to the printer where are you willing to there's no reason to wheel around speaking of carpet dumbest thing in the world airports that have carpet who needs

[09:05]carpeting when they've got to drag a real fucking bag a mile and a half to the fucking airport why do we have carpet in any airport is the stupidest shit in the history of this country in the world so dumb carpet here but why do we need carpet i don't know like in case you gotta like mop your feet off it's like why it's a really everybody's protesting outside this new york courthouse you know here's russell no carpet airports i was like god damn

[09:34]that guy's right that's the guy we got the second amendment we got the repealing of roe versus wade and we got fucking carpet in the airport dumbest fucking ideas in the history of i was confused because alito threw threw a flew a flag where the carpet was upside down in the airport and he was like oh that's because somebody called my wife a whoa did you guys see that that's why he was flying the flag he was at his neighbor his neighbor stated that oh yeah my neighbor called my wife a and i was like somebody called somebody called your wife

[10:04]the c word and you respond by flying the american flag upside down that seems like he's an extreme response my wife is fond of flying flags like this feels like a real like some guys run their house some guys run around their house kind of situation right honestly i fucking get that though like you give me some flags i'll fly i'll fly that shit all day let's go okay i don't care six flags hey that's fucking amateur hour six flags i got seven flags and nepal so that's like seven and a half because it's just two triangles

[10:32]look it up people i'm a flag head you know what happens when somebody gets eight flags what eight flags oh no seven flags seven flags you're crazy eight flags that's too many listen okay we've got uh uh willie and the poor boys by uh ccr today we're talking about it el cerrito zone it's just a little bit different from the other ones it's just a little bit different from the other ones it's just a little bit different from the other ones it's just a little bit different than my mad max sequel i wrote called pilly and the war boys pilly and the war boys now if you saw

[11:00]mad max in the theater like i just did you would think that joke is okay i haven't seen furiosa yet matt how are well you and everybody else i went on opening weekend and it was empty it was empty rob uh just to clear no clarify quick uh the laughing at jokes was where we supposed to start with the mad max killer or which one just just give us the sign we're waiting that's late pretty that joke is going to be evergreen okay everybody's going to be like where were you when mad max furiosa came out oh on memorial day weekend doing something else and then seeing a movie like you

[11:34]can't put anya taylor joy in every movie there it has to be a movie that she's not in if you want to see her in another movie they're they're with our last listener let's shut this shit down there's no way we have listeners after that you just don't want to talk movie talk there's no way there's no way that that movie there was like three times where i just turned to my i turned to my 12 year old and i just go fuck yeah oh my god i just turned to my 12 year old and i just go fuck yeah i just turned to my 12 year old and i just go fuck yeah i just turned to my 12 year old and i just go fuck yeah you know i mean like we're in the theater i'm just like fuck look at that truck man it's got a fucking guitar player at the front and treads this fucking rules

[12:01]god damn i love this movie i got matt minneapolis man how are you doing uh good rob i mean some folks are born with silver spoon in hand right yeah am i right rob no come on matt it ain't me is that true no it ain't me man i ain't no fortunate son laugh at that one that was good i was gonna give you a little sprinkle sprinkle some laughs on that

[12:30]he was definitely thinking about people who had their dads brought up baloney sandwiches in bed when he wrote that song yeah without people with people with a milkman yes yeah all of this hey when i was face down in the shit okay my dad's bringing me baloney sandwiches that's actually fine right out on the wire you guys don't get it i got russell minneapolis russell how are you doing rob i was curious how your cuckold business was going to be going to be going to be going to be could you tell me did it get a bit awkward when the cuck let his midnight special shine the light on you oh that's the worst the worst is when they have like a light and you're like bro you know

[13:09]you're supposed to be bouncing that off the ceiling can't be directly on you right yeah it cannot be going up there like i don't want to see it that much hey you know what if you know you're in a porn and you're gonna get filmed from behind maybe shave your asshole it takes two seconds it takes two seconds yeah but i don't take no come on it's gonna take longer than that two seconds like there's gotta be i assume there's so much there's so much damage you could do you

[13:34]can't you can't just do that the first time right you've got to practice something like that you just slip and all of a sudden you just fold inside out you're like oh my god i cut something bad what kind of blade do you use for that i'm no i'm sorry i'm not right i want to he was playing a game i had a kid at school he was playing a game on the on the computer so he's up in front of everybody he uses the word goo now i hate to do this to you guys i really do do you know what the word goon means is this the sean william scott hockey movie because that's a good movie

[14:02]so if you look it up gooning is our kink of the day no it's not you know what you like listen i've seen three things from urban dictionary today and i think some of this shit is just made up no i'm telling you there's a subreddit for going it's a thing okay and i'm going to tell you what gooning is right now because a kid used it as his name

[14:30]in my class and i had to make that decision because what gooning is is that when you're pledging yourself okay let's be respectful they set up like four monitors all playing different stuff and it's just like a continuous loop and the goal is you go for like five hours yeah there's a name for that it's not a sprint yeah gooning look it up it's good i can look it up and so i know it's going to be on the internet but there's not you're not going to ever meet a human who's done that yeah yeah that'd be crazy

[15:05]every episode i would spend all day when they get the summer off of work doing that okay only only to bring yourself to the ultimate pleasure you like that when i say ultimate pleasure do you like that i feel like i should be selling something called the ultimate pleasure like a it's like a dyson fan you said you were anti-male pleasure devices no nobody would buy that for me hey try this it makes me cum so good it bursts my eardrums every week when i listen to the

[15:34]podcast for the edit i think about what stage i would never allow people i care about to listen to it and 18 minutes in this one so anyway guys i kid a kid had gooning as his name and i had yeah and i had to make a decision but is he a hockey player i mean it's like you know it's just like a donkey yeah guys he came up with a name another kid saw it and looked

[16:01]at him and they both laughed you know what that means they knew and so i had to make that decision this is like a poker match do i tell them that i know that they know and you know what i did i did i said no we're not doing that and i pulled them aside afterwards and i said listen somebody contacts their parents and talks about gooning and then they look it up and they find out what it is that it's jacking off the internet porn for hours at a time and then they email me and then i gotta talk to you we don't want that don't say gooning in my class isn't that that you

[16:34]admit that you know what it is and now they're talking about our teacher rob or mr mr rob knows the uh what dating is and then russell rolling going how's it going with you you gooner did you it does make you think about the goonies a little bit different though doesn't it like that's why sloth looks that way just been busting he did not introduce me but that's fine i've got aaron

[17:00]out in california now aaron okay aaron when i say this can you just say a little bit okay aaron do you know any uh aaron do you know anything about adams a little bit yeah i know but what else oh okay all right i got that i got that joke sign jokes i'm giving the joke sign we do not take like more than six days off ever again if rob's prepping this much and we're in deep shit honestly all of the lines i wanted to use have been taken so i want to ask how the fuck is this the second ccr album we've heard and we still

[17:33]haven't heard low die what like when are we gonna is the first i thought the first got wiped out of the new list didn't it well we did an episode though right we've done an episode right no no we did a list oh we did a list came up with a you you came up with a list okay you're thinking of your own list it's inception the top is still spinning okay i was so confused this is our first ccr album okay i still am but then i still would go with green river because it's got low die on it and you know what all these songs are bangers there's not a miss on

[18:02]this whole album wait a minute all right aaron from california how are you doing i'm good i'd say i'm good thank you oh my god are we already to this part all right let's get into the voicemail hey you were mentioning rob that we've got a lot of voicemails is that true or not true 100 percent please do not call with it we need to rip off four or five here i've had a friend or two complain that they've left voicemails and you're not playing them and that's that's a poor form on our part

[18:33]yeah let me think i got two words of that person one is the shit and the first one's tough all right deal with it all right anyway let's get into this a voicemail listen they listen there's competition they want it red they got to be good let's get into it in case you want to supplement your income this summer the mustang ranch is hiring a cook i'm sure they have both hot sauce and feet readily available now oh my friends have been leaving voicemails is it this good is it this good the mustang ranch

[19:04]we got an alert from our listeners our eagle-eyed listeners they are currently hiring a cook full-time no degree mentioned for meth or food 14 to 19 an hour i didn't know sparks nevada isn't sparks nevada where everything you buy from amazon comes from like if you ever look at the price of food it's like it's like it's like a restaurant it's like a restaurant if you ever look up the shipping history of anything it comes from sparks so they've got like a giant shipping warehouse and the mustang ranch that's all they've got there oh my arms are

[19:31]so tired from moving all these packages around i can't possibly do anything tonight all right i'll walk up all these stairs to the mustang ranch do you think you get like a municipal worker discount there or not there's no municipal workers it's all private private business look at my lunch break they won't let me go to the bathroom do you get a bezos discount yeah oh yeah bezos by the way i just want to remind you jeff bezos have you looked at bezos's girlfriend okay this guy has pulled the ultimate move have you seen this his girlfriend look at

[20:04]this he dumped his wife for the most expensive divorce of all time and then picked somebody who absolutely looks like a sex doll a hundred percent she looks like a sex doll no no she does that's a compliment she would like that if i said that about her i mean she look i mean look at that we haven't talked about sex dolls for a good six weeks so it's a good time i divorced my wife there's no way this would be the second option i would get i'll tell you that right now it would

[20:31]be me and a silicone object rob what if what if that happened and legit your your option was like the volleyball type coaches that like you in vegas would you be happy with that or would you be like kind of disappointed if my marriage uh and the mother of my two children dumped me yeah okay who also supports me financially uh broke up with me and instead i married a person that comes up on my picture frame every once in a while and the kids ask why are you kissing this person who's not mom yes okay if that was if that was part two of your romantic

[21:03]escapades would you be happy or not i would pay a hundred thousand dollars to do that russell he paid a hundred thousand dollars of his wife's money to do that i don't care what happened at the gym i don't care what happened at work all i want to see is a pair of underwear that i've never seen before oh how about this how about i got like i got a crazy idea how about you buy a new bra the other day she's like oh all the metal came out of this bra and i was like well that's definitely going

[21:31]to entail you buying a new bra no it doesn't it's like it's low wind at the airport over here in this bra they look like pillows i've been sleeping on for five years we've been going to the movies lately and we were and i was trying to remember what the movies were like hey doesn't like what's the deal doesn't one of your podcast friends like junior mints and i was like no there's like a whole bit about junior mints looking like somebody's wife's b-hole like

[22:04]no it's not you boy i mean it's nice i wish you wouldn't have said that because when my kid and i saw furiosa we split a box of junior mints so now that you say that it makes me feel terrible it wasn't like a bad dad it wasn't my bit yeah aaron that's sick that you would say that aaron so what do you think are we listen high school gd must be able to lift 40 pounds why do you need to walk in and you don't have a diploma they're like you can't you can't cook fries at the mustang ranch hey trigonometry was a struggle for me sorry you cannot cook i think the gd here like that's that's

[22:31]it's like uh showing some level of being able to stick to a task right it's not like you don't need the knowledge that you gain there comes the here comes the east and west coates elites man here we go that you what are you talking about i'm just saying they're asking for the gd so that you can signal that you can complete something aaron this is totally different if my high school involved sex workers being around i would have been there every day okay i would have gone if my history teacher was a sex worker i would have been there bright and bushy tailed 8 10 in the morning what are you what are you

[23:00]cooking russell you're cooking the mustang ranch what's your first meal you're making man that's tough i think it's got to be fried food fried food at the must it's got to come out quick right it's got to come out quick why do you say that what does that mean i think these guys who go there they get turned down for their price and then they got to get something to eat they got to get out of there i don't think they're getting like a full meal and then and then sealing the deal we magic mike talks about some of these guys their their offer is essentially denied right that's true so yeah then they're

[23:32]just trying to get some tater tots and hit the road right yeah you just got to get some substance and get get back in and hate your life and aaron what are you making first meal red snapper tacos oh aaron that's so disrespectful it's pretty bad that is so fucking gross don't ever say that again man what are you making some brats something nice oh that's almost worse you two should work together you two should work together hey i'm making meatballs come on guys oh i'm doing chocolate shavings what what part is that oh i get

[24:04]it never mind i get it you ate you four cooks you gotta go you're terrible this is one guy he's deep frying shrimp the other two you're making erotic cakes nobody's asking for that it's terrible have you guys ever seen erotic cakes by the way no oh my god can i show you an erotic cake are they like erotic urinal cakes no erotic urinal cakes no there's no erotic urinal cake i if i was a cook at the mustering

[24:34]ranch i would just have gatorade i mean that's all anybody you know what i would do though actually i would have only pineapple based dishes yeah you know what i mean yeah just smart case like a pineapple upside down cake yes oh my i mean look at these erotic cakes those are not erotic those are i mean how did rob those are erotic cupcakes what how do you have enough time how do you have enough time to know about all this stuff what like when oh i'm sorry russell you're

[25:01]buying cakes that aren't erotic erotic like but i'm sitting here like googling googling like basketball scores or something is this what you're doing oh i want a regular cake i don't want it somebody got a cake that says same penis forever i get it oh my god okay i mean look at this okay let's get into it here we've got the cakes that look like penises okay gotta admit if you've got a cake that looks like this which part you want aaron which part you cutting off of this let me just show you make a wish and blow so the cake says make a wish and blow there's a

[25:35]big i look around to see what people say think when i say that big there's a big penis on there with normal size balls definitely not really small uh aaron what part of the cake are you cutting if this is the cake that you're you're getting for yourself what piece you going for can i just get that piece from the loin over there like to the left of the cock that's just like over here no to the left that's a nut it's eating the nut guys your left as you are the cock not as you're looking like if you yeah oh you're stage left

[26:05]yeah so right here right you just want give me that you want the cum gutters oh i would never eat that part that's one of the grossest part i would go for the nipple up here i think that's what i would go man ross what are you what part of the cake are you getting i gotta go the part with the cream on it man what are you man what are you doing how you go for the right pack up there like you said i

[26:31]think that looks good i think it looks good i i like that i do like how they have the hair go around and down and all the way to the back so you're assuming like oh this is this is big foot going on here hey rob what if you go to a party whether it's a homemade cake or a bakery cake and they give you a piece and it's a middle piece no corner no edge what would you think disgusting right there's not a flower on there what are you doing for a birthday cake these days russell you do anything fun i don't really no no i don't really

[27:02]god russell don't depress us although i will say i'm not gonna do that i i'm gonna get uh we have co-workers and i always try to make sure we go get something fun for their birthday and i'll get like nothing bunt cakes or something like that those are usually pretty popular um and we're aaron you do anything fun for birthday cake i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know what's your go-to in this household it's ice cream cakes we're big ice cream cake household we've heard about your ice cream issues though no and then wallace got me a great they went to the went to the bakery on my birthday and got me a tres leches that was fucking awesome so that's

[27:32]that's that's where i'm at for cakes listen i'm not listening to a word you're saying i'm deep into this erotic cake image search i'm going way down they look good i don't think anyone i know has gotten me any sort of cake in at least more than a year and i'm weird wow that seems odd gosh wow more than a year i wonder why any what could anyone have been waiting on for a year that they might give you i mean geez why would anyone be withholding anything for a year why can't we get a cake let me think of an opportunity what would

[28:00]be a good opportunity for us to buy a big cake maybe feed it to each other you know gosh i can't imagine why boy that would be crazy i can't because there's anything you can do is there anything it's time to see whatever it would only take a small investment and really not change that much you don't have to change much legally you could keep it so you don't have to change things yeah there's documents you can draft guys i took her first name what doesn't it make sense to me uh aaron rolling going how's it

[28:34]going with you it's going good it's been it's been quite i don't even know when we talked last but we had our last week of school two weeks ago and every day that week was a half day of school and then friday was off and then we had memorial day weekend so it's just been a lot of like heavy time with wallace who is awesome and also just totally scrambles your brain but what i want to talk about tonight is i want to talk about this i want to share with you guys i don't want to infringe on russell's territory

[29:03]uh in terms of the cocktails but i um it may or may not surprise you i belong to a couple of wine subscriptions and now i also belong to an agave distillate subscription and i um whoa i i get a bottle of uh some sort of agave distillate from now i i feel like i need to describe the bottle that you have i know what you're gonna i know exactly what you're gonna say if you

[29:31]imagined a bottle that a that a gun coding gang member who was wearing bandoliers would throw to the ground and break this is exactly what this bottle looks like it is the most plain i've ever seen there's no label yeah you can't you can't send that to someone that's terrible i said i get this you know i get a bottle of uh some sort of agave distillate every quarter and so far i got a i got a nice uh lamata from um i think that was from durango

[30:01]yeah so i've had some nice stuff i got a la cumbrita de la sierra and then i got uh this thing which um when i got the email it told me like the name of the producer you know where where it was from which is a a state called haya cuatlan and then the agave is um mexicanito and i go down to the shop to pick the thing up and it's a fully like unlabeled bottle there's no label on the bottle nothing just a cardboard tag hanging on nothing you can't do this it's just

[30:31]somebody drove to mexico you're gonna send that shit back i'm so thrilled about it so that's what i'll be drinking tonight during our aaron i gotta know what would be your standard of you couldn't like if it's a plastic bottle like it looks like a like a a plastic water bottle do you drink it where's your limit of where you wouldn't you're like i can't do it yeah oh it's in a paper bag there's no wet paper bag you guys know me like this is fully i'm i'm jacked to the tits about

[31:00]this like i go down and pick this thing up and like they put it in a nice bag for me that's like wrapped in tissue paper and everything and so every time i go and i'm like oh i gotta see what the label this thing is i pull this one out there's no label it's just a fully like i don't even know i don't know if they brought it back in a gigantic 55 gallon drum and then poured it into you know it's quite delicious so how are you so this is just straight tequila how are you drinking this just straight it's mezcal it's uh it's it's 48 abv so it's 96 proof right and i just

[31:34]it's usually what i drink when i'm talking to you guys i just can i take our listeners behind the scenes to the text chain please yeah a few days ago i think it was rob's last uh that rob's last day of school and he sent a selfie of himself to the group he looked kind of like he was having a good day and he says guess how many drinks i've had people start throwing out guesses four or five no one guessed more than like four or five aaron drops a 10

[32:00]and immediately i'm like aaron's not kidding this is how many drinks it looked like to me fuck you and i've got some pictures of me on 10 drinks you don't want to see it i'll tell you that right now it's me you you know it's me on 10 drinks because it's me and like a waiter like there's nobody it's not anybody i know it's like a european waiter but then i then two nights later i went on my own bender i sent you guys a picture and i couldn't even at that point i couldn't even count how many

[32:31]drinks i had had like last saturday sunday i we just went on we went to like three different parties and then there was a guy's birthday party that we were both supposed to go to we couldn't find a sitter so anna sent me on my own and then i told you about my friend who like if you drink he drinks an entire bottle of brown liquor i went up to his place and he was like he's got a keg at his house and so like we had three beers before we went to the party i couldn't even count so that was a real bender so then i took tuesday does he have a keg reader or he's just got a keg sitting around he's got a keg writer yeah he's got a nice keg writer in his

[33:01]yard okay yeah he's just the kind of guy who you're on his finished one and he just fills up the next one you're just like let's let's go yeah it's not like the blue tub with the keg in it with the ice around it or anything no this guy he's like he's he's in finance so you know he's got like a nice like uh you know outdoor bar with the keg in it and i'll tell you what built in there's something there's something about just getting absolutely bliss to the gills and just coming home to your family and just being like i'm the best dad in the world you know what i mean like you're just at home the kids are telling you a story you're like this is the most interesting

[33:30]story i've ever heard in my life i listened to this all night couch that night but i did make it memorial day i still made it up we went for a hike i survived so but yeah i'm excited i'm drinking this mexicanito by uh rolando sandoval and i appreciate it i thank you for all your work and um how's it going sendable sendable is that pablo's brother yeah i'm who it could be i don't know this is the thing is that i am also part of a subscription service but it's a 99 bananas subscription every month i get a different

[34:02]bottle of 99 bananas there's no label on it it's great it's so good okay and i have to sleep on the couch because i smell so much like bananas every night but this is all this is so good that this is what my lady came in earlier to grab a little a little taster of because it's quite delicious so you do what now aaron aaron you know here's the key anytime now jenny does not have any cash on her ever okay and i always have cash because i think it's an important thing to have in the city

[34:30]yeah so there's often where she wants to borrow a couple bucks to buy some nuts on the street or buy something you know a lucy cigarette yeah whatever yeah and i would highly recommend doing this this is what i do is that i give her the money and then when she grabs for it i pull it back and i go this is a little treat from daddy and then i give her the money she loves it they do appreciate a treat from the big daddy i hadn't considered that i would do i went to the post office today and they were cash only at the post office because their card reader was down and the post office worker was like giving change out of her own purse because it was like some guys you know it was like 20 and eight cents and she

[35:04]she was like well i think i got a dime here i can help you out it was very strange like i don't think that's legal in any way but that's what was going down today russell does that fill you with agita going to the post office thing about that i've got uh i've got eight things that have been sitting on a table for two weeks now because i've been sitting on a table for two weeks and i've been because i i'm too afraid to go it's not even the post office i don't even know where i don't have stamps i'm screwed i don't know what i don't know how to mail anything stamps you just go and you pay for it and they put the label on for you and it goes out you gotta get stamps at the grocery

[35:34]store that's the baller move you get your groceries you go hey throw hey sweetie throw a book of stamps on there too they love that shit i do hey you're buying a milky way and they throw on some stamps oh yeah they love that stuff i didn't know they had stamps at the grocery store oh yeah ask for stamps they don't have stamps they don't have stamps they don't have stamps they don't have stamps it's the best place to get it they upcharge you but that's okay yeah well where else am i going to get my fat elvis stamps russell roll going how's it going with you things are going really well uh a few about a week ago we talked about the timberwolves they

[36:02]got swiftly pounded they went out in style got destroyed but i was going to share a music thing with you guys i was at the game the other day and one of our friends was too and i know he sent a message about this but i saw a tag team at halftime wow wow they came out dropped gloom there it is i will just say when your basketball team is down 36 in an elimination game tag team at halftime not as much fun as you would hope it would be oh

[36:30]yeah what happened like were people in their seats or were they just like were people leaving people were in their seats but there was not as much excitement for tag team as you would hope for can i just say this tag team video what year we think this is coming out gotta be 93 94 this guy looks like he's about 48 years old in this video in 1994 he looks like he's about 48 right like this is your uncle these guys are probably pretty old yeah so how old are they russell they both had like the the bright white beards or goatees yeah did you now russell did

[37:06]you sing along the tag team i was just sitting there uh stewing about the fact that the team was getting smashed so no i didn't yeah this is a song that i've been listening to for a long time i've been listening to this song for a long time this is a song that i've been listening to for a long time i've been listening to this song for a long time this is an all-time that was a music experience i was gonna share with you guys another experience i forgot what i told you guys when i went to the hall of fame last week i had to get or the rock and roll hall of fame i ended up getting some souvenirs and i wanted to run through my souvenir

[37:34]list with you guys because we didn't talk about you guys know i'm a souvenir guy but i don't think you guys are souvenir guys like i am no i guess what what am i buying when i'm on a trip nothing nothing place is full of junk yeah i don't know i'm you know maybe i'm not gonna buy anything maybe uh i've got like 30 of those sepia tone photos where i dressed up like cowboys but that's it you know beyond that there's just not that much yeah you know and of course i mean we have probably 50 shot glasses but i would say that's it and spoons but i think that's it there's nothing

[38:02]more do you got any plates they put i've got some cat plates yeah i've got a bunch of cat plates up okay they're really nice a lot of people like them i'm always hats i'm about a hat at disneyland what kind of hell you know what kind russell it's got the fucking ears out he's got one of his ears hat that's what he's talking about no i this is a very nice hat it's like a night i'll wear it next next episode it's a nike golf hat and then it has like this like very small black and white mickey mouse on it it's very classy it's you know why why did you buy that hat what

[38:31]caused you to buy that hat when you went on a big i just i saw people wearing it and i was like that's a cool like understated disney hat like it's got like this little black and white mickey like kind of like steamboat willie style it's like a nod to the classics i always buy shit russell my problem is when i'm on vacation i get something i'm like god that's cool as hell so like you go to florida you know and then they all they have are alligator back scratchers where they've cut off an alligator's hand and put it on a back scratcher and you're like that's cool as shit and then you bring it home and it's terrifying when you're not in florida around alligators it's very

[39:00]weird to have an alligator back scratcher very strange the only thing i've been buying lately is like stickers to put on my yeti cool my big yeti cooler just right yeah what's the best sticker you got matt well we went up to canada bought a bunch of you know like bamf and you know lake land and stuff like that so it's it's only been the last couple years so i've got a i need to i need to keep adding to the list yeah can i okay russell let's let's play this souvenir theme song don't know why this is i bailed i'm sorry i'm so sorry can i just say this i recently

[39:35]led a class to washington dc so i have 54 seventh graders with me right it's like 54 my own fucking kids are with me because the whole time we would be anywhere they'd be like hey hey can i go to the gift shop i'm like motherfucker we are at the supreme court you want to go to the and guess they're about to bring these orange slices out here they went to the they went to the uh gift shop at the supreme court and bought a supreme court

[40:04]water bottle i was like you really want a water bottle sixty five dollars they paid sixty five dollars for a water bottle with the picture of the supreme court i was like are you guys just desperate to shop like you'll buy anything like you're crazy most corrupt institution we have at this point like that's the thing you want to oh yeah let's let's memorialize that in my water bottle yeah i was just there to get my rv back i know what your students pay for tuition at your school they can afford 65 bucks for a water bottle oh that's true one of them did get

[40:30]a pencil with an eraser on both sides so it looks like a gavel i was like nice okay hey these women got too many rights you know you're pounding it love that stuff so here's the first thing i got i got four postcards for my nieces and nephews none of them neighbor called my wife a it's not my fault that i was flying those flags upside down so many bleeps you're sending yourself i got four postcards for my nieces and nephews and i haven't mailed them yet are you guys ever postcards have you ever mailed a postcard it's fun when you get a postcard in the mail i need

[41:01]to do it more often it's it's a blast we should all can we make a promise guys are we going to start sending postcards on our yes next trip i i love getting a postcard in the mail it's always real mail is now turning into a cool thing again i just don't get real mail anymore yeah i love real mail and i love uh uh coupons hey i wish they would send me more coupons to the uh local grocery stores that i can just throw away instantly into the garbage also like pajamas like my wife bought pajamas somewhere once and now we get approximately 10 pounds of catalogs every month from the pajama

[41:34]place it's crazy well she wondered yeah i mean she wonders what you're thinking about when you're yeah yeah right here and she wonders if she said to me what are you thinking about i would fall out of the bed and die of a heart attack from surprise it's a recall to a previous joke i know but it's like oh yeah what am i like she would say what are you thinking about the worst is you know you've been married for a long time because when you're

[42:02]doing this stuff and then you're like talking about your day you know i mean when you're trying to pound one and you're and your wife is talking to you about a staff meeting she was running you're just like this is like difficulty difficulty level goes up i'm confused about the logistics here but i'm not gonna go into it any further huh i want to wreck russell's rolling going aaron to me making love is fun okay we're laughing we're having fun just kidding it's deadly serious no speaking you you having fun making love guy aaron

[42:32]wait how do we get here i'm i excuse me i'm asking yeah i like a little chuckle it's like it's good to be able to laugh some lightness in the in the room no gross never disrespectful what about you you having some fun oh no all business that's me too you know what i mean it's like i'm changing a tire this isn't a time to tell jokes we're not talking about our day we're just getting this done and we're moving yeah yeah longer we sit on the side of the road here the

[43:01]worst it is i think the funniest thing is the idea that rob would know how to change a tire please okay lug nuts etc i've watched drive to survive i could change those tires real fast go ahead russell sorry i also got uh magnets what about you though russell what about you you have me making them fun making love i also got magnets at the rock and roll hall of fame you guys ever get magnets or not one of them was a bottle opener magnet how do you feel about that

[43:31]love it love it that's the best magnet bottle opener magnet has come in clutch so many times at our place you gotta have a bottle opener you always got a bottle open yeah you know the problem is now russell's we've got a stainless steel fridge and you know what the issue with that is not magnetic same yeah i also picked up one psychedelic looking mug like a psychedelic color looking mug you guys ever do bugs when you're on on a trip i uh i have a we have a very long-standing battle in our house about the number of coffee mugs we have yeah i'm the get

[44:03]them out guy and sarah is the you know we could use a couple more so no i out of principle russell i would there's a bunch of them i'd love to i'd love to grab sometimes but out of principle i i've said it before and i'll say it again it seems like the mugs are having sex in my cabinet and making more mugs every time i open it there's more mugs we're piling mugs on mugs and yet we're not using that many mugs so i don't know why we have so many mugs aaron what's your mug situation

[44:30]i um i have one mug that i mostly use that's sick that's too few mugs no we've got we have 10 to 12 mugs in the house i'm just saying i typically use the same one every morning well actually we have a nice set that our former neighbors bought for us when we moved over here and then the one that i typically used was broken so now we have mismatched mugs we haven't we had two like two different times we've had like nice you don't ever leave one of those bugs in the bathroom when you're having a sub or anything like that in there you know you never they always end up back in the dishwasher

[45:02]never end up in the bathroom they don't go wait the mugs don't go in the bathroom you're not eating you're eating out of a mug russell are you making mug chocolate cake and eating i thought you were gonna have like a i thought you were gonna have like a something to eat with your coffee in the morning rob when you were eating in the bathroom no it was i mean we got some nice mugs guys if you're if you don't wake up with an incredibly painful stomach are you even 40 something you know i mean like every morning you wake up you're

[45:32]like god fuck me what's up with my stomach that's what it's like to be 40 it's super fun it's my favorite part aaron what is your what is your mug i want to get that checked out rob ah i'm fine oh our mugs our mugs are like made of pottery they don't like we have one we have one that says i'm a fucking ray of sunshine and that's the one that we give to guests but then otherwise our mugs don't say anything they're nice mugs like they're decent you know looking mugs but they don't sounds pretty boring russell what is your mug you don't have a mug wait i have a psychedelic mug now we also picked up two t-shirts thoughts we've talked about concert

[46:03]shirts do you ever pick up like a a shirt from a city you're in or a place you're at shirts now shirts are my weakness yeah what material are the t-shirts russell they're like soft drape over you whatever which way your body flows all right and do they say rock and roll hall of fame on there i think so yeah nice it's the great thing about a a souvenir t-shirt is i'll never wear it again so i don't even know what it says russell you're not married okay you're you're

[46:32]an avowed coward you're not married yet what is when you when you are at a store like this are you saying the size of your shirt out loud are we still in the stage where like i'll just grab it i'll just grab what i need yeah i was gonna say i cannot tell i don't think i could tell my wife like isn't my shirt you know what i mean like it's just like i did i told you guys the upstairs roommate oh yeah oh yeah aaron she's buying shirts for me get out of here what are you talking about i did honey would you like this shirt it's got erotic cake on there your wife knows exactly

[47:00]what size you are she probably knows like your inches she's your coach she knows your measurements she knows your fucking dexa scan results like she knows everything about you it just said my dexa scan results just said wow i did i told you guys the upstairs roommate was getting into the wolves and before we went to one of the games i i went to a store and i bought a new wolf shirt for myself and i got one for her and it was probably the one of the most stressful situations i've ever had in my life to try to pick what size t-shirt do you pick yeah that's that's tough no it's bigger the better russell okay take my advice get it nice and big there's one thing

[47:35]women like it's they love bill louis t-shirts they're definitely not insulted by the size you buy last two things i got that i had to share with you guys quick you guys know we do booze and vinyl cocktail book we've never had before wow it's called sip me baby one more time whoa and it's cocktails inspired by pop music icon women so great women musicians so i'll just pull up lana del rey casey musgraves britney spears carly ray jepson taylor swift wow that lady who did the

[48:07]friday song there's about 100 drinks in here so if if rob and the people who made this list will ever honor a female pop star we will get back to sip me baby one more time the other random thing i had to share with you guys quick i bought these which you could have bought anywhere but it's more fun to buy them at the rock and roll hall of fame two trivia games we got 80s pop music trivia and 90s or hip-hop trivia is the

[48:32]other one so i'm going to give you guys one hip-hop trivia question all right before we move on oh wow rob rob when you come into when you come into minneapolis this year or minnesota for a while we have game night at russell's house well we're gonna have that party i think we can just extend it to a game night game night at russell i think that's a great idea russell when do you want to do that i don't even want to hang out with you rob the idea that i would want to hang out with your friends friends is the craziest thing i've ever heard in a text russell you're hosting us you're gonna make us a nice charcuterie board okay here's the question it's

[49:01]gonna be my rolling going how good of a host you are though they never released an official album together jay-z dmx and jaw rule were members of this short-lived super group oh i do not know this the commission rough fellas murder ink or jaw zx it can't be i'd go with b what was b rough fellas jazzy x guys it can't be jazzy x it's murder it was already like murder ink was jaw rules

[49:32]it was either a or b so i think okay we'll say jazzy fellas yeah we'll say jazzy x all this talk about aaron being a hip-hop uh you know when everything turns out he's wrong the answer is murder ink oh it's murder ink wow wow i thought murder ink was an actual thing that released some albums well we've we've realized aaron's got nothing important to add on this episode how about matt rolling going how's it going with you there's a new uh cult movie on netflix okay tiktok dance cult movie um and it's

[50:03]just you know every cult starts out some church and the leader starts taking the money from all the people then he starts banging all the people in there and it's just it's just a it's a classic classic example i don't know how people fall for cults but they're great tv watching for me what did the leader of this cult call himself because that's always my favorite they're always like the bog water god i think man man of god he was man of god yeah all right you're good you're gonna get some poontang with that what would your cult name be rob main host no it'd be the same thing i

[50:35]have in my uber when they pick me up thick dick you could put thick dick right on there i was accused the other night rob of i'm not a nice person because i don't go out of my way to chit chat with uber drivers i think it's perfectly reasonable to get in an uber and just kind of be like dude they're driving do you know how hard fucking driving is like they should not be multitasking and talking to you they should be focused on getting you to your destination without you dying driving is difficult they don't need to be chatting with you i love chatting with uber

[51:05]drivers it's one of my favorite things to do i will chat them up what's the weather what's been going on what what the conferences are in in town i love chatting them up see what's going on this you know they just tell you it's it's an instant update and then you sound smart you can be like well concrete uh people are here you know and everybody's like god damn you're smart it's always in vegas they're always like oh the concrete people are here i'm like what are they looking at you know what i mean like motherfucker it's concrete like it's what are you hey look at

[51:33]this concrete yeah i got a concrete story for next week wow i i went to culver's too so i have one too oh that's a good wait where'd you go is there culver's in new york city no i wish i would kill for what culver's right now right i'd kill for matt to finish this really good one yeah on the way up and the way back from uh what you getting at culver's i just got the regular uh in alexandria they got in alexandria we get gas at the holiday and then right across streets of

[52:00]so i just got whatever the single butter burger is with cheese and fries so guys when i'm by myself in minnesota and i stop at a dq or a culver's there's only one thing i get and that is the cheese curds okay and it is always a shock when i order the cheese curds when you order the cheese curds at dairy queen or culver's there is a 100 chance they will make you pull up and wait outside the cuck position of the culver's when you are waiting outside because you have ordered a concrete with cookie dough and like

[52:32]peanut butter cups okay something that blows their mind like can you do both they're like well i guess don't know why you say tummy problems aren't you gonna shit the bed if you have this yeah i don't know why he wakes up with tummy problems everybody everybody drives by and goes jesus christ we ordered three shakes and two burgers what did he order rob what would be more embarrassing to have someone walk in and see you in a kfc or for someone to see you in the cuck line of a culver's like you're you're you're in

[53:03]the line where they're making something so bad that you've got to wait for it and it's just when they come out it's always the biggest fucking nerd in the store they make the biggest nerd in the store bring out your food and they hand it to you with a look of disgust you can't look you've never seen anyone else's face oh no you have to be like just you also probably rob you gotta you gotta be like oh the family's gonna love these things you gotta act like that order was for more than one right yeah i have shaded tinted windows in the back so i turn and be like oh you guys want

[53:30]these and i gotta hand them back and then slightly put them in my front seat where nobody could see them uh last thing i got october of 1994 these four movies are all in the theater at the same time let's hear it movies earlier wow alt fiction forrest gump the shawshank redemption and jurassic park we're all in the theater i can't that's an all-time quartet that might be an all-time best year of uh for music it's also if you look at the 93 94 uh movies that came out it's probably one of the best runs of 12 to 18

[54:04]months of movies that have ever come so then what what was nominated for best picture because i think forrest gump won best picture right over pulp fiction jurassic park would have been 95 forrest gump won best picture forrest gump four weddings and a funeral pulp fiction quiz show and the shawshank redemption wow so quiz show and four weddings and a funeral got nominated over jurassic park the idea that jurassic park at the time doesn't get nominated is just an atrocity isn't it crazy yeah get the fuck out of here can you go down can you go down oh we already lost what's

[54:34]that no no i can go back say like do they have like at least for like best effects or something right okay let's do this we'll find jurassic best screenplay not on there anywhere not a single come on which which of the four movies the four that we've talked about the four big ones if you could watch one for the rest of your life and only shawshank what do you pick all day aaron i turned on pulp fiction the other night i made it like eight minutes in i turned that

[55:01]shit off really i turned it off you know what i will go with russell in this i like watching that but if you're not watching it you're not watching it you're not watching it you're not watching it the right mood it it's all the conversation back and forth i can see that i can see that it's tough i have pulled up the best avian awards of course the adult video awards from 1995 let's look at those right now best film is a movie just called sex that's insane right right like that seems i mean it's cheating it beat masseuse 2 steamy windows the swap up and comers

[55:31]rob could you could you um could you slow slow that down a little bit and repeat those again female performer of the year we've told you to make sure your pencils are sharp and yeah you gotta yeah yeah make sure you've got a sharp pencil when you're writing this stuff down okay russell now this i don't get buck adams is up for three different awards this year like of course he won he's up for three awards but this guy's killing it hey sorry john doe so is john doe and then wait wait wait sorry i mean i shouldn't share this there's a porn star named john doe

[56:05]oh aaron we listen we have we have a friend who's four-year-old oh i don't even know who tt boy is yeah we we have a wait tt tt boy is two chains that's a whole different aaron best selling tape of the year we can't do this one i can't uncut oh god we if we're doing john bobbitt stuff about this first of all it's john wayne bob this is this is closer than us quitting over the the john for me died a thing

[56:33]i can't i'm just saying that was the best selling tape of the year so the most people of any movie went into a store and said ah yes here is my money i earned from working at my job can't do it i would like to exchange it for some goods and or services ah yes i'll pick this john wayne bobbitt uh video and show that we need that is crazy what's the name of it called uncut oh yeah that's a good that's a good bit though i do like that matt your rule of going is some sick shit here we need to cut this off here yeah all right i'm rolling going how's it going with you my

[57:01]friend suzanne and i got drinks today and she goes listening for this my son is going out with some weekend you need to come with me and buy condoms for my kid no hang on how old is this go buy them on his own i was thrilled this was a thrilling experience you guys have the strangest relationship this is not normal well i you know we she just wanted somebody to buy condoms with okay and i

[57:30]gotta say russell oh so the son was not long it was just you and suzanne buying condoms suzanne and i yeah okay so how like how many jokes did you make about like oh she loves this one but or whatever like aaron to me safe sex isn't a joke okay but i did look up i was like well we'll get some magnum condoms just in case you know what i mean like what do you do russell i gotta say listen i haven't bought condoms in weeks okay it's been i'll just say this it's been a long time for me okay since

[58:02]i bought condoms weeks there's a lot of condoms out there russell like there are you guys go look at the condom aisle sometime there is tons and tons of condoms the first so here's the issue though when you get back there they're under lock and key under lock and key there's a buzzer it takes me one millisecond to push the button i cannot wait to push the button get this person back here let's go the person comes back i go hey listen we're

[58:30]buying condoms for a kid so we need normal condoms okay suzanne reaches down first one she buys first one she picks up okay i just want to tell you this right now for her kid the trojan pleasure pack now let me read to you what exactly it's probably like a sampler right yeah the trojan pleasure pack russell are you getting some weird wild condoms like flavors these days oh like are you into like are you down with like what's going on with condoms no it's crazy this is wild it's

[59:00]wild the pleasure pack we're gonna go to amazon we are looking at the trojan pleasure bag oh 24 for 23 bucks that's a good deal right russell it's like a bucket that's like a buck a fuck a fuck and i just wanted to say this too i did say like well if we buy those can i just take one home okay i gotta relive a moment i had you left it you're gonna leave it in your pocket aren't you for when the laundry person does it just put in my wallet have a condom just wear it in your pocket you at least

[59:31]gotta leave one laying around the house just to keep the wife just could keep her on her toes a condom so the pleasure pack i was like listen you cannot get the pleasure pack as a kid's first condom set listen what it is number one condom aaron in there twisted ribs it helps stimulate both partners most sensitive areas the twisted condoms kind thing to do just stimulate just stimulate everyone feels like the right thing to do but it's twisting is that what we're going for

[60:01]like that's the number one thing that's been a bunch of twisting i don't understand how these things work i don't know the physics honestly when it's just me there's not much twisting going on you know i mean like the amount of twisting it's not like we're unscrewing a bottle her pleasure ribs and contours help increase her enjoyment and stimulation okay intense deep ribs provide intense pleasure and then warming of course has a warm lubricant on there guys which one of those are you picking do you think i feel like anything with intense with deep ribs i don't know if i could i could

[60:32]meet the deep requirements so i feel like that might be a bad bad way to go i feel like i i saved some money and i bought one of the riblets it was all you could eat uh which was nice but uh it did come with an electric lemonade so that's a little bit different aaron which one of these you picking uh her pleasure you know because i'm generous i guess that's what i was gonna go into aaron good call good call

[61:01]would you say that to her like hey russell have you found this or any of you guys out buying condoms have you found that there's just no normal condoms like we had to go we had to pour over condoms there was like pleasure packs and xls and what and then there has to be just like there has to be like your skin there has to be like just like the coca-cola there's got to just be like a regular trojan right there there's got to be something that's just well that's what rob asked for and then suzanne was like no we got to

[61:31]go get there no there's there weren't any normal look at this this is what comes up when you do just condom ultra thins you can't get somebody an ultra thin right bare skin i mean there's one just called raw aaron there's a kind of condom it's the thinnest one this is the one we ended up getting trojan enz classic reservoir and i think that's that's the standard i think if it says classic yeah classics are classic for a reason we bought three for eight bucks this is a

[62:05]36 for 13. you could swing those all over the room it wouldn't matter if you tore them when you ripped them up or anything it's only three condoms it's like singles yeah from behind the glass three yeah then i was gonna get a candy bar too but i was like you really got three yeah that's like i mean that's like almost irresponsible adulthood that's bad that's a very cool thing about new york right like you like if you wanted to buy 100 000 condoms like

[62:34]new york can make that happen if you wanted to buy a condom you could buy a condom in new york you could buy one condom new york could also make that happen like i really appreciate that about where you live rob i also looked up how big magnums were eight inches i thought they were way bigger than that i gotta say so we did go with the enz okay uh she of course gave them to her kid and he immediately said no thanks and just put them in his drawer so it was an entire wasted trip so good luck out there suzanne's kid was this a suzanne like trying to be like

[63:01]like a cool hip mom and she's like i'm just gonna be proactive about this or was there a need for this well i don't you know you gotta i mean you got a high schooler going off on a weekend trip like according to every movie i saw in the 90s that's a classic time where you're trying to get laid you got to be careful right this this sounds like adults trying to make themselves sound cool like hey we're making this happen when it's not needed can i tell you what russell when i was purchasing condoms at the cvs i did feel cool as hell i felt so good let's talk

[63:35]yeah but then only buying three the guy did kind of judge she was like only three like for the what are you gonna do for the rest of the weekend you gotta have one one to try one sample one try on don't you rob i need three and two of these large blue gatorades please all right let's get into the album listen we are talking about music podcast we are talking about creedens clearwater revival they were formed in of course el cerrito the little hill in california and basically can we agree that

[64:05]john fogarty you know regardless of who's touring with the music or whatever it is mostly john fogarty uh and they played together since 1959 which is crazy if you look at the songs that were hits when ccr started it literally is like i want bunny holly and stuff yeah yeah it's it's crazy and they started first as listen to these band names they came up with blue velvets and later the gollywogs and then settled on creed's clearwater revival in 67 they were the first major signed act

[64:34]at woodstock uh and here they are they're coming out they're red hot right now they've got three number two songs and green river their album before this is is number one the one with low die on it yep creed's clearwater rival never ever had a number one song which is a wild trivia fact and so basically they come out and they say okay we're gonna do this album willie and the poor boys uh it's their fourth album ever but it's the third released in 1969 they released three albums just

[65:04]wow craziness and basically they had this album this concept and you can see it on the cover where they are a jug band named willie and the poor boys and they did down on the corner you can hear them sing about how they're a drug band and then they never talked about it again on the rest of the album they did it for the cover and the first song and then we're like guys it actually jug bands kind of are shitty like we don't want to do this they just totally gave up they're like

[65:34]we mentioned we talked about that once before you guys remember that right of course or this particular concept this particular willie and the poor boys we did it it was the best characters by bands if you remember we had shaggy boom bostic remember shaggy that's a character mr right said fred uh limp biscuit the hot dog flavored water that's

[66:00]our hot dog flavored water episode yeah that's i excuse me it's a chocolate starfish favorite water hot dog flavored water please mention we also had nikki minaj because she has an alter ego isn't that right yeah uh roman rob was there any part of you that decided maybe we should go outside of the trojan brand or did you like to say we have to stay within like the the kleenex brand or you have to stay within honestly they had the durex there but the durex all were like ultra thin extra large i was like you can't

[66:34]i don't think you can give somebody an extra large for their first condom it's kind of like i mean it's kind of like buying your buying your girlfriend a uh a shirt at the rock and roll hall of fame it's better to go too small you know what i mean like if you put on one and it's too small you're like great you get one that's too big and it looks like a wedding dress and there's like a train at the end you know what i mean like that happened to me the first time i put one on it just all bunched at the bottom you know what i mean like there's a little at the top

[67:00]and then there's a big bunch at the bottom it really looked like a wedding dress like it was just all like kind of bustled up there on the bottom and i was like these are too these are too large i need i need uh smaller ones russell what size condoms you buying this is the funny episode are we talking about this i just i just i don't know how these things get so off track and so long it's crazy well listen we're all looking for the guy that is if you listen to words this is actually a very political album uh and uh it this album

[67:33]it's interesting the words if you ever play the song the list on the list on the rock and roll on the uh rolling stone list it went from 392 to 309 all the way up to 193 this started at almost the end of the list at 392 i like this band in this album but how the hell does this just keep going up when there's been more music made since this was released like no no no no no i think we got to rewind i think what happened was credence's greatest hits wasn't that on the list like in

[68:00]the top 50 and then what happened was they'd knocked all those creed the greatest hits ones off in that second revision yeah where we had the panic and i i think that's what happened was greatest hits was way up on the list and that got taken off that makes sense first up down on the corner listen this beginning well the guitar work by credence hey rob is so i need a little more cowbell we get pump it up i need a little more cowbell it's so good it's so distinct wait so who is playing

[68:33]does fogarty play rhythm guitar on this or who plays rhythm guitar aaron you said you said we should agree that ccr is fogarty i believe it's tom fogarty plays the rhythm guitar there you go because the rhythm guitar is really fucking good his voice is fantastic tom fogarty rhythm guitar on all tracks except for the last couple it's good stuff man it's like hendrix level rhythm guitar when he was playing with curtis and

[69:03]squires can i just tell you this this song is called down on the corner and it made me think some of my favorite songs and the best songs are about getting down so i made a list that's all about songs that go down oh the best direction to go in a song oh rob's so negative all the time so go ahead do your down songs rob

[69:33]man you have a better idea than doing a bunch of down songs i mean let's do this up songs let's look a little half glass half full here rob wait you made a list of up songs wait is there yeah i guess it's the list i sent over the up songs we made two lists tonight wait well now aaron i watched him i watched him go through this really don't even try just let him go for it it's like it'll it'll be like it'll be like trying to watch your son

[70:02]i'm gonna sit back you guys do your thing think about this oh is it me and julio up at the schoolyard no we're down at the schoolyard okay this is one of the greatest songs about directions going down okay no rob go to the ups go to the ups what's that you can't man i can't think of a possibly good up song at all play the first one pump it up pump it up

[70:32]pumping up the jam wow he's got a point rob driving home to go to the wolves game the other day i pulled up jock jams volume one on my phone i thought listen to it i thought he was just gonna let us go because we're whatever hey you know what when you're pumping up the jams everybody's invited in russell jock jams volume one make it out in the car to jock jams were you like transported back to 1996 or what the wolves lost the jams

[71:02]lost in the playoffs you make it out in the car listening to jock jams it's like you're in a time machine unfortunately guys that song was too exciting for me so for me i gotta get back down downers to get okay caress me down i didn't know she had that gi joe kung fu grip it's weird like i remember there was a handful of girls that aaron knew some of them better than i did

[71:32]but they were really into this caress me down so it was one of the songs that was always played on the win amp on the third floor of kildall all right bring bring the energy back up rob let's get to the next up song pump it up again technotronic has another up song two ups before the night is over you know what though man i'm getting tired okay we're two up we gotta go

[72:02]back down oh what a great song 3-1-1 oh well it's 3-11 3-11 down down man what's the interesting fact about this song i know none okay i promise to do little to no research on my list guys that you have to admit when you hear that song aren't downs the best nope bring it back up

[72:31]jade bush oh wow back up running up that hill what an up song having a moment too bad you guys couldn't find any songs that get up and get down in the same song maybe you could maybe you guys should check out we we look there's not possible there's gotta be one out there check it out to me the best songs go down russell and the best songs that go up and down don't even have

[73:00]it in the title it's cool julio one two three four check this out oh wow man gotta get up gotta gotta get up get down let's touch fingers man we're touching fingers we're going both up and down up and down okay russell nailed it you gotta get up to get down you gotta get up to get down this song by the way is a fucking bop yeah well too bad he's dead all right so that brings us to the end of our list

[73:31]nothing rob loves more than making fun of dead people oh fantastic wow a down list and an up list just like panty raids don't get russ fired up about that it came out of the sky this is a song it's your classic song about aliens landing in a farm field this it mentions spiro agnew ronald reagan the pope says it's his

[74:01]everybody wants a piece of this alien this song had some epic lisandos remember running your finger up and down the keys epic lisandos on this one it's a fun tune right i knew i was different because when i grew up and they were talking about aliens probing you i was kind of like yeah i would think about it take me to your leader why are you bending over with a hand mirror you know stuff like that this is do we have is controversy on the list

[74:31]by prince i don't think it is right it's got to be our only ronald reagan reference uh maybe rem did it definitely our only spirit agnew reference rob do you think aliens get condoms before they probe you would like do they got to go to the cvs and ask them to open the case or not i i here's what i don't get right alien probes you what do you picture like what are you picturing right now why would i i don't want i'm picturing a metal device what are you guys picturing

[75:00]yeah it's right it could be a tiny camera and it's no big deal but what is an alien probe i guess i'm thinking it probably is some sort of latex covered sort of thing that you know i feel like they like they're not trying to hurt you oh i think they are it's just for science they're like the ultimate mystery of the universe just a guy's anus that always seemed to be what it was out of all the orifices they got to pick that one but i also get it because if i found a new species i'd probably be looking for its butt too

[75:30]you know what i mean i get it makes sense to me cotton fields this song hit number one in mexico lead belly song it was covered by the beach boys as well is that the only lead belly song on the album is it no it's not at all there's another one coming up and it's been that special lead belly too i believe so this is such a good song it's a great song boys like these guys they don't really get raked over the coals for appropriation the way that like led zeppelin does but i mean

[76:00]you know like oh hey we're just gonna throw a bunch of lead belly songs in here like ignoring that he was jailed for like who knows what exactly and he didn't get to profit off of his musical talents but we're gonna go ahead and sell some records on his songs i don't know but does this sound like 1969 to you yes yep oh yeah me too a little you know i mean it's kind of a you know folksy tune but they threw in some electric guitars and so yeah it sounds like

[76:30]you can hear they're listening to jimmy too trying poor boy shuffle now they're talking about paying a nickel and down on the corner if i paid a nickel and they played this i'd be fucking pissed as hell and i'll tell you what i don't use nickels for shit if i had a nickel and a nickel fell out of my pocket on the floor i would not bend over to pick it up oh it's the worst point i don't think i've asked you guys this uh the upstairs roommate asked me to ask you guys this when we were in cleveland oh

[77:00]upstairs roommate in the women's bathroom or it might have been at the airport comes walking up to me all right i'm listening $20 bill around found a $20 bill in the stall on the floor what level of currency are you guys picking up off the bathroom floor in an airport or public place and like under a dollar well like what's your cutoff you're picking it up or not picking it up i think five bucks i'm picking up five bucks i might leave a dollar i would leave a 20. he just goes steal whatever he needs to out of the stores and i tell you guys i almost shoplifted

[77:38]when i was leaving an airport the other day like i landed and i was like i could use a little treat right now you know what i mean a little something for me i shoplifted again i shoplifted again at the airport the other day it was so satisfying and especially the self checkouts you just act like you checked it out and you can pretend like you did guys it's the perfect crime i actually like rob's answer like i would i would pick up i wouldn't pick up a 20 i would pick up a

[78:00]50 and i would leave a 100 because like a 50 is like that's kind of unique that's what but the yeah but like the 20s someone could probably use that the 100 some who could definitely use that but like the 50 that's that's kind of cool is it because it's a bathroom floor or fuck yeah it's because it's a bathroom floor like yeah like the risk reward here like come on like but if you think about it what places are clean more than the bathroom oh i don't know about that it's the place is the bathroom floor i'm telling you like twice a day maybe some guy just shit all over his

[78:30]hand drops a 20 at the local store you know gets changed then you go take your hundreds in there and you get that you get that 20 right but you have no idea what's all over every i will say airports are one of the loudest shitting places i've ever been like every time on an airport there is somebody just dying in one of the stalls i don't know what it is like it's not that bad in vegas like you think that would be bad but it's every time i'm in the airport somebody's like just i've heard just going through the extras in vegas where i feel like i'm gonna have to call 911 i think it i think rob the airport is because it's like a the only people that are using that

[79:05]in the airport is because there's something wrong really bad like if they're not really bad they're waiting until they get on and off the plane for the next three four hour like it's a sample space issue if they're using it it's because they have to use it that's true i think i think there's some people though that just in public they love to let it rip you know just the louder the better oh i got a flight i got a flight in a week i'm just not gonna go for a week

[79:30]and see what happens here's me flushing at the same time i'm going okay some people are like uh-uh we're giving this full 7.1 surround sound i want everybody who's in this bathroom oh my god is there 7.1 surround sound now oh well 7.2 aaron you get two subwoofers oh fuck they are dropping a deuce in these bathrooms and it is so loud guys what's a loud shitting place you've seen now i did have an experience the other day where you did open the door to a single person's bathroom and somebody was waiting we can't we can't take another noodles we're like one of my noodles we gotta keep it moving you guys don't want to hear the story about when i was at a noodle

[80:03]next week you big we can't take a shitting detour now okay you guys don't have i'm just saying when you open the bathroom door there's just a person going to the bathroom in there that's a bummer that's a day you're not going out and buying a lottery ticket after that i'll tell you that right there feeling blue listen to the ccr guitar you know almost every one of these songs i listened for

[80:30]the best place to start it for these songs it was at the beginning i love the groove of these some of my favorite ccr songs are actually not on this album but it's run through the jungle and looking out my back door the reason i love them so much if you guys remember they're in the movie the big lebowski i think ccr like helps make the big lebowski the movie and because of that tonight i'm drinking white russians oh in honor of the dude love it are you using like creamer out of

[81:01]the packet i've got kalua yep i've got tito's vodka yes and then i've never purchased any sort of cream or anything so the upstairs room what bought me half and half does that count yeah oh russell you have it with you at the table right now oh yeah russell just held up his hat russell bro that's got to be refrigerated that's a top three so it's fine you just have to have it russell hold

[81:31]that up again matt look at this matt look at i mean wow that's not gonna go bad in an hour that is not something you should have on your computer desk ever it's half and half well it's not gonna make it past the night oh my god speaking of going to the bathroom you're drinking the whole thing tonight no either it gets i'll drink it until we're done tonight and then i throw the rest away all right all right fair that's so crazy just put it in the fridge guys is there any other song that makes you think about helicopters over the delta

[82:04]more than this song let me show you what my dad used to do in the car i made a good joke you asked a question you didn't listen for my answer what was your joke here i said ride the valkyries oh well yeah if i have to repeat it it's not funny all right do your dad thing well i can't because it was the beginning of the song aaron but he would turn it up every time the guitar made a noise and then in the car the song would be absolutely blasting okay so we were

[82:33]driving down the road listening to ccr like we were flying into mekong on the 10 offensive it was crazy what kind of car were you in when you're driving a minivan what do you think that's my dad don't look now it ain't you or me and this is actually a song that critiques the hippies so all right so they're they're holding up a lens to everyone yeah did we talk about this like booker t jones cropper duck dunn like were these guys playing on all these songs or just some of

[83:05]them or what was they play on this song i don't know which songs they're on maybe it's just 13 maybe it's just the last one oh 13 there's only 10 songs on the album oh then i'm confused oh you're doing the extended version oh the live is the extended version that fucked me up you're with the blues brothers these songs do have a fun groove to them don't they midnight special i mean it's a great song

[83:36]it's great wait are we are we not gonna play a lead belly version though like i mean we gotta play like one lead belly recording on this album lead belly it sounds like me after a drink so that half and half those nothing against ccr this is a great recording i just think like we got to hear the original once right here let's get up to where this is

[84:00]listen to that it's fucking great this is so good now of course lead belly this is a lead belly's version here i didn't know it had the harmonies on it oh when you get up in the morning so good that's nice i love it that's nice uh next up is the thing nobody wants on a ccr album

[84:30]an instrumental who cares why why is this on here side of the road i think it was done a lot at the time right a lot of rock and roll albums had a quasi jam for sure definitely next up finally a song about richard nixon effigy this is isn't this the same chords as hey joe which i guess we're probably not that proprietary either but 100 it is sounds so much like they're listening to jimmy

[85:04]yeah this is like a 10 minute song too it's a long song right it's a woodstock song right 100 guys that was our first album by a band out of el cerrito that was we did it uh ccr and we let's get it you know what let's get into our rating system and now it's time for our first album by a band out of el cerrito that was we did it uh ccr and we let's get it you know what let's get into our rating system and now it's time for our first album by a band out of el cerrito that was we did it uh ccr and we let's get it you know what let's get into our rating system now listen this list of albums we're all the way up to 193 something like that

[85:33]ccr ccr everybody knows these songs fortunate son i mean guys fortunate son is a great song down on the corner it's going down one of the greatest songs ever okay it's a great song where does this belong is this to me this list to me 193 it's kind of like when you're selecting a condom you need it to be it's kind of like the goldilocks of condoms right a condom that's too thick no good all right uh actually that wouldn't be so bad just thick and no you can't feel anything

[86:09]at all okay punish yourself you can go for hours you can goon for hours it'd be great or is it like too thin that's a rolling groan that means this out this album is not as good as 193 okay these condoms are too thin or is this a perfect xps reservoir tip and is a rolling well toned so is this a rolling bone

[86:31]which of course requires a thick condom is this a rolling groan or a rolling well toned matt what do you think at 193 ccr i think we finally have one that's truly rolling well toned with it's got a couple of great songs it's not the greatest album of all time kind of thing but it certainly deserves to be up there in the pantheon of you know the 500 greatest albums of all time so i truly think this is just a rolling well toned right here at 193 do you think this gets knocked a little bit because we've just heard it so many times

[87:05]like if you listen to any classic rock station you've heard these songs a million times the greatest hits i think everybody and their grandma has had the greatest hits as one of the albums that they've always had i have i have the greatest hits on vinyl i got it at a record store and it's it's hard when you're at when you get the greatest hits i think it's hard when you get the greatest hits it's hard to go back i think i had it out of one of the bmg orders or something like that back in the early 90s i know i had this the greatest hits for a very long time so i think it gets

[87:32]knocked because everybody's associates the greatest hits with ccr and then not these individual albums that makes sense to me russell what do you think rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling groan man i i'm looking at some of the albums that are coming up afterwards there's no way i would put most of these ahead of maybe the mj1 next week but a lot of these coming up afterwards there's no way i'd put it over ccr i'm looking up there's a number of ones we've done before that i would for sure put this ahead of but probably means it's rolling well toned it's probably in

[88:02]the right spot top 200 for ccr they gotta have something up there right they're too they're too big of a band they're too popular they have to have an album up there what is ccr good at it's a great voice it's a great guitar sound is is it just the grooves because it's not like it's a really technically chunky grooves man that was my nickname my junior year grooves you got it you have a you have a unique singer he's got a very distinct voice you knew you know who it is exactly when you hear it they've got a cool band name that band name rocks there's a lot of cool things about this

[88:31]it's got to be on the list it's got to be in the top 200 perfect rolling well toned plus it's got that alien probing song uh aaron what do you think rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling groan yeah i mean i don't think it's as good as green day dookie or shut a uh looks sounds like we're in here diamond life and i would put love deluxe above that but doesn't matter um but overall i think we're going to hear stuff after this that i is potentially better we've definitely heard stuff before this that is not as good so all in i'm going to also

[89:02]agree with with matt and russell it's rolling well toned there are some great songs on here they were willing to talk about things in a way that people could understand and they were willing to see things from multiple angles and i love the grooves man so i'm going to give it a rolling well toned you're wrong couldn't believe it guys this gets a rolling fortunate zone okay you look at those lyrics and you tell me this is not one of the best albums ever that has both a commentary on the political situation at the time

[89:34]looking at all sides and where the band is pretending to be a jug band there's no other album where those two things come as sharply into focus as willie and the poor boy spaces here now listen up next week i'm i'm down with that ranking down thank you yes that is the best way to be okay up with that ranking the ranking with that ranking up up with up with the rankings

[90:01]would it really kill us to do a couple left right rankings in there it would have killed us huh okay well what's a good left song name one song that goes the left well left right left like the military march everything you own in the box to the left okay to the left to the left to the right man what's a good song to the left right now right now right now there's a lot of good right songs tomorrow right here right now there's no other place i don't want to be here next up

[90:36]god we just wrote another list we have an album that's bad but at least he cares about my aunt thelma auntie are you okay when you want it auntie are you okay guys for more jokes like that tune in next week to back to the better where we're not running out of steam

[91:00]if you have to do your best joke here and then i'm going to finish it i want the last line but you got to tell a great tell as good of a joke as you can right here pressure's on oh i think do you think they're suspicious at cvs if you buy uh durex extra large condom and a king-size payday candy bar

[91:30]they gotta think you're up to some sick shit you know what i mean no this is just how i this is this is just how i don't eat too many calories there's a little treat from daddy it's so gross Thank you.