Micheal Jackson: Bad (1987)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better can i tell you guys the scam i'm pulling right now on reddit for back to the better i have gone into music and i have asked the question on reddit what is the best podcast that gives me a list of albums that i can listen to i am then gonna let all these fucking nerds tell me about other lame podcasts okay and then you know what i'm gonna do in a week aaron i'm gonna update my post and say edit thank you so much found one and i'm gonna put a link to our podcast in there it's the ultimate seo scam everybody's gonna be listing their favorite albums mine's gonna our podcast our podcast is gonna be the top okay it's brilliant okay so if you're listening to this episode because you fell for it you fucking dumb shit what are you doing listening to stuff that people on reddit tell you to listen

[01:01]to nowhere to go but up can you imagine something less you want to do than doing a podcast that somebody recommends to you when people recommend a podcast to me i'm just like i've told you what i do right i get out the notepad and i get out the notepad and i write it down yeah it's like people people if you write something down you're taking something seriously you're not going out of your way to write it down on a notepad and then just gonna ignore it that's like i had somebody at school the other day hand me a business card what i was like what the fuck am i doing with this i'm trying to roof my house yeah their business card was glossy so i was like well this is even a real business card glossy i don't respect this at all like it needs to be paper it should be bone oh disagree my business card not paper not glossy it's transparent plastic transparent how are you getting a free lunch with a transparent card man when they pull that shit out of the fishbowl that's the only thing i think business cards are good for right like what what what russell how many business cards have you given out a couple probably more than 100 a year wow that's crazy they can't just look you up it's not like

[02:05]typically you meet you meet someone you meet someone in a professional environment and they're probably not going to remember your name if you don't give them anything boy to me a business card is just so it goes flying when you get hit by a bus you know what i mean like that's the number one use of business cards to me i use them a lot actually people i use them a lot and i use them when other people give them to me really someone at a conference you got to remember who they are you take their business card take a picture of it or something like that write down a note on who they were what what you talked about so you can follow up with them matt knows this stuff yeah we doing the business card action what's our stance on business card you got a business card man i actively try i have yes i actually try not to use them other than at conferences and things where you're meeting a whole bunch of people and it really does help to remember like oh yeah shit this guy from pack life or this guy from whatever company you i i should follow up with this guy so yes there is a very limited amount of time i don't carry

[03:04]them around in my pocket or anything like i used to i really could care less kind of a thing but uh at the conferences they do work very very well yeah i would be worried i would pull up my business card and it's it's two cards for uh sex workers in las vegas that i also put in my pocket as a joke as a joke are you listening hey jenny are you listening it was a joke huh i'm like flicking my business cards at every conference i go to it's not good yeah the other thing you have to put them in a weird pocket like in like the deep dark pocket of your suit or something like that you can't remember it's the case that somebody you really don't want to give your card oh man i'm all out of cards sorry you know like i don't bring them what you can't just you can't just throw them out either you can't just dish them out like you'll lie to people and not give them a card that's like mean girl shit like i want them getting a hold of me you know and then they see you handing a card that's like that's like julia in high school wait which of your channels of communication can you

[04:02]now just ignore though like i mean if you give out a business card and someone contacts you like aren't there like you can't you just ignore them the problem is aaron one of the things on this business card is what window is his bedroom window okay he has trouble emails emails you get pretty darn i mean you start getting on people's lists and things okay okay it's an active sport to try to unsubscribe from all these lists all right i get it so you guys will like this i'll take this the next step my business card like i said transparent plastic then it's got our our text on it but it's a plastic like see-through card people always say i love this card then you have something to talk about you have like a oh yeah i joke you joke you you use it for you know to like scrape off your windshield in the winter like a credit card or you know there's always jokes and and for what our company does we always say it reflects transparency which is what we do so wow the business cards are a big thing it's actually a big part of living in that world i would say so how so russell what do you do you judge somebody by the business card they have

[05:04]like if they give you a shitty business card are you kind of no we judge people on the pens if you have a really nice pen it means you're spending money on stuff you shouldn't if you have a shitty pen it probably means they're a good steward of someone's capital wow i just don't nice pen is bad new okay nice pen means people overspend and probably aren't taking care of their investors money wow wait how much money are we talking about you can spend on a pen here well i don't know i'm guessing you can buy pens for like a dollar a pen and i'm guessing you can buy pens for 10 bucks a pen well maybe that maybe the 10 buck pen they only gave to you maybe they maybe they thought maybe they bought fewer 10 buck pens and they only gave them to special coming this is coming from the guy with the 80 82 000 chair wow wait how did we go by a factor 10 we bought it we got a special i'm just kidding i'm just kidding russell what if those people they hand out their kind of my along my line what if they hand out the 16 cent pens to all the people they don't really care about they're like oh here comes russell i got one for

[06:03]you i you know i gotta give this guy a the the dollar pen i gotta give him the catalog that they're not giving to anyone else they're right yeah you know like i've got a select few of these really nice pens i gotta use and i'm gonna use one on mr russell over there in the corner i got this chachka i've ever seen at an event fucking box cutters who who gives away a box cutter you can't bring that on a plane like what the fuck you can't what's the box cutter yes that feels like a weird subversive thing like i'd run up real quick and give it to my favorite celebrity my favorite tennis player i didn't run up real quickly give it to him oh my god martina hingus i'd run up here oh trip oh no we're up to album 194 from 1987 it's the album that made a lot of people say i bet i could beat michael jackson's ass he doesn't look that tough it's bad by the king of pop in new york he's the king of soda it's michael jackson uh let's guys let's turn on let's turn on the radio i we we didn't know that

[07:06]was a joke we didn't know we don't know what they call it there i that's not even a that's just a reason it's tough thing you know i've had to start calling it soda now and i call it soda full time and my kids i make them still call it pop but when i'm teaching if i'm teaching about pressure or whatever and i call it pop it the kids in my classroom cannot recover from that that's so funny to them it's like when i say red beer they go ballistic when i say red beer what is it do they say root beer well you were saying music like you've you've said a few things the last couple you also said coupon the other day and said a coupon coupon no i use a coupon coupon coupon coupon now i can i gotta think about this uh listen let's turn on the radio okay the radio excuse me and see what's playing welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b you know somebody the other day

[08:00]said rob if you could trade being dirty on the podcast for getting more downloads would you do it and i thought to myself and then i turned to this person who i thought was a friend and i said uh anybody who wants this podcast to be clean can lick my gray balls oh yeah russell asked me a question on the show would you be totally clean if we got more downloads maybe russell is right i should never mention that i had a device to help with masturbation i say i agree and i try to be clean but then there's rivets and smoke well it's a time machine then i turn to me and i give me a kiss i say i'm telling me well you need to listen being dirty's what the fans want yeah being dirty's what the fans want yeah talk about your big banana

[09:01]that when you want to hear guys the fans love when i'm dirty what song was that from i have no idea do you think tracy chapman listed this album is like i love that song about the fast car beck did it all right let's get into it i've got this is beck did it better we're talking about the top albums on the uh rolling stone top 500 list of albums god damn it uh and i've got four guys here who think my my parody song man in the hand mirror was was not a hit how else are you gonna see it guys i'm serious the vagina monologues i've got matt in minneapolis matt how are you doing good rob give me fever like i've never ever known thanks for having me on the podcast i've got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing

[10:01]rob if you want to make the podcast a better place take a look at yourself and make a change wow uh it's gonna feel real good you know it's gonna make a difference okay uh and i've got aaron out in california now aaron recently went to the dentist and the dentist goes hey open up and aaron goes sometimes i get sad aaron how are you doing leave me alone let's talk about michael jackson not on this album by the way was not released as an lp i mean i sent a text asking you guys do we should be included in the album and i got zero response so i said because it was the last track on the bonus album but yeah do you remember the video we should talk leave me alone do you remember the video to that no at one point michael jackson is dancing with the elephant man's bones you guys remember you gotta look up the video to leave me alone it's so good he's dancing with the elephant man bones there's a rock marciano

[11:00]i'm called the elephant man bones it's really nice it's good it's like when bradley cooper the elephant man on broadway but he wore no prosthetics he's just a very handsome man who was the elephant man made no sense wait but then he wore a prosthetic for the bernstein movie oh of course uh listen guys okay let's get right into this voicemail on the beck line 802-277 beck that's 802-277-2325 all right here we go let's see what our fans have to say to us hi i'm really behind on your podcast so i'm listening to some past ones and the one i just recently listened to was nirvana and you were talking about the recording studio in cannon falls and oh wow are you behind a lot of people don't realize this very close to rochester minnesota very very

[12:01]close cannon falls okay that was 173 by the way 173 wow oh my god it was only 20 episodes again oh my god i believe this color may have went to davis do you have any thoughts on tornadoes do i have no they're what they're oh you think i'm a fan of them oh i just i don't know i thought you'd be pro tornado yeah you think just because i saw the movie twister and it had helen hunt in a white shirt for almost the whole time that i have some sort of sick kink with tornadoes new twister movie coming out by the way looks awesome twisters twisters yeah yeah they put they put glenn powell in the white t-shirt this time it well i made a i made a home movie when i was in high school it's called titty twisters it was a little bit different can you imagine if a guy came up to you right now and gave you a titty twister devastating like if somebody gave me a titty twister in front of my kids i would move away and never see them again you could not come back from getting a titty twister i have friends they're all part of the complimentary

[13:00]movie club that that still do tipping or whatever where you come up and you tally whack some guy in the know they're 40 year old men and they still do this well you guys is that insane or what we call it peter tapping you call it tipping i think they call it tipping i call it whatever it is here's what i'm picturing you walk up to somebody they're looking you in their eyes and then you use the back of your hand right to basically hit them in the nards yes that's what we're doing right yeah that can cause i feel like that could cause me serious damage right now yeah you know what i mean like at some point i'm just thinking about it we gotta stop hitting guys in the in the cock and balls at some point right like don't you get old enough where you're like i'm gonna stop hitting this guy never cock and balls say that again you say what's on my shoulder and then what do i got you know you go like what do i got right here and they come up and look and you just clank right in the nuts with the other hand

[14:02]there's a whole different side of the richfield experience that matt has not let us in on this is directly related to how much time matt has spent in north dakota this is north dakota summer matt who is hitting guys in the nuts at the cornhole in the netherlands this is this is god's country work here oh my god when's the last time you got or gave somebody a titty twister though oh that a while i think they're out of style i don't see people doing titty twisters anymore yeah it's weird yeah you know what i mean maybe it'll come back in style yeah i don't know like if i got a note home of that my kid gave somebody a titty twister i'd be like wow you're a bully that's bad that's weird that's really bad i'll piss i think that's about as bad as i could see rob if someone came up and did that to him i'd lose my shit it would hurt so bad you ever get one so bad that it's almost like you got like the bruise it's almost like a like a key like yeah it's something like bad last week well i told you guys so i told you guys that when i swam at my school now of course

[15:01]we know famously that at my high school i had a swimming class in gym and they required us to wear red speedos in gym class i had to wear a red speedo now of course if i wore that if i did it now i would be luxuriating i would be hanging out with my friends i would be hanging out with my friends upside down i would be doing i would be like chubbing up before i go out there it would be speedo but my friend found out that i have very sensitive skin so he would five star me all the time it hit me as hard as he possibly could to see my skin his handprint in my back he would do it every day like in front of the most attractive people at my school while i was in the speedo he's very he had a he had short man syndrome then he was very insecure with his own masculinity if he's trying to pick on you i know that's the worst part is now he's a doctor and he he married one of the hottest chicks in my whole high school he had it all and he was bullying the shit out of me and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it and you know the worst part was matt when he'd slap me so hard rock hard all right let's get to the

[16:00]rest of this voicemail and russ mentioned the gear daddies and i have a fun connection to the gear daddies because my sixth grade homeroom teacher and then later like eighth grade gym teacher was my dad and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my dad i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be randy broughton and randy broughton was the electric guitarist for the gear daddies wow i then went on later to work with randy broughton because we both worked at the same high school before he retired and so my question to all of you is what is the coolest thing that you learned about one of your past teachers whether it was elementary middle school middle school middle school school or high school bye buddy coolest what is the coolest thing now i of course did go back and work in the high school i graduated from from two years and it was fucking wild because it turns out that every teacher you thought was a real piece of shit dickhead when you worked with them turned

[17:03]out to be a real piece of shit dickhead who was just an adult you were a hundred percent right in high school the teachers who were fucking nuts when i worked with them they were still fucking bananas oh yeah you have a uh you have senior pictures of just girls in your office that's normal that's normal stuff that doesn't concern me it didn't concern me when i was an 18 year old adult psycho shit okay guys you got any cool teacher stuff it's hard to top that right there it was probably you know trying to think there's got to be something a little bit better than this but we had a in ninth grade we had an english teacher who was a vikings cheerleader which was always just very problematic wow yeah that's tough nice yeah geez wow that's not enough of that sound clip that's i missed the whole part of that that's not nearly enough man is she on the uh the uh senior team not on the senior team regular age team could be

[18:03]getting close now right i mean this is we're talking about ninth grade for mad so so wait a minute this person taught you and then on the weekends you would just see them cheering for the vikings and i would yeah she had like she was like the cheerleading coach for the school you know doing like the dance line or maybe whatever it was at the time kind of a thing so you know had the calendars up and stuff in her in her room and she was an english teacher so like she's a very interesting person yeah it was it was kind of out of left field when you found out that she was a vikings cheerleader wow because you know it's one of those things like if you could have a dinner with three people who would you have kind of a thing and she used to always say jesus because she just wanted to know like how true all this stuff i mean it was like kind of out of left field that she was a vikings cheerleader but she was a vikings cheerleader yeah what's the number one person she would have dinner was with jesus yeah so i mean there's like weird shit like that where you know again to get rid of we wouldn't run out of get rid of the

[19:01]stereotypes was absolutely not a stereotypical cheerleader jesus when i what you can see here when we split the bill hey that's where i was carrying you something there's something like that there my number one dinner would be with the vikings cheerleader that wants to have dinner with jesus you you guys got any teacher any cool teachers honestly i don't have anything cool like the what's what's totally bizarre is that the one thing i remember from any of my teachers when anytime this comes up is i remember coach schneider who taught uh history and also coach sophomore football and track told us the story once that when he was in college he saw a guy playing pickup basketball and that guy was wearing his wedding ring and he got his ring caught in the and it ripped his finger off and so since that time i never wear my wedding wedding ring if i'm doing anything active because i don't or if you're going off for a friday night you don't want it to get ripped off at the bar or

[20:02]anything right aaron we'll get i'll put it on when i get home on monday morning or something but for the weekend that shit is off when i'm going out to trivia to play with trivia sometimes i get my hand caught in the trivia questions and i don't just i better not wear when i'm going out to for trivia with the boys safety first man so coach schneider taught me that that's what i remember when i go out to the bar and i'm like oh my god i'm going to the bar and i'm like oh my god las vegas i take that wedding ring and i throw it deep into the ocean okay titanic style okay down with the titanic and the submarine no i'm just kidding i lost my of course i lost my wedding ring inside a stripper oh all right let's get to rolling going it's it's it's time to see what hey i was gonna give you a five dollar bill rolling going you do you still have a wedding ring aaron what's your wedding ring situation what do you mean do i still have a wedding ring yeah i'm wearing it right now i don't wear one yeah i i mean i mine mine ripped

[21:04]off about two weeks ago so i gotta order another rubber one from this war away so yeah i lost my original one come on this will be my third third or fourth yeah uh rubber one whatever you call them so you can get those ones that have a vibrating thing on it too oh wait no that's different i'm thinking of a different ring forget about it do you guys ever try those by the way i hate to get into this so soon looks like cock i'm talking about a cock ring we get it yeah i remember i had one where i had the time 25 minutes where we could not share this with people i know i i remember i we while we got one you know because they're like we were dating or whatever and i was like hey i'm gonna get one of these vibrating cock rings i put it on i felt like robocop i was like i am unstoppable murphy murphy you're coming with me you're just like oh i'm a pleasure machine now there's nothing that can stop me

[22:01]and instead it was just sex the whole time you'd be like you feel that you feel that you feel that which is different than normal feels like greg s could have warned you about that one too but no you have to buy it at a cvs and how many options did they have i don't even know where i bought it you know what that might have been because you know my wife and i's second date was to the sex shop that was our second date i might have bought it there i wonder because i'll never forget because we went to one and i was like oh my god i'm gonna buy it i'm gonna buy it i'm gonna we went to this sex shop and they had these booths right like these like these i and i guess they were just jerk off booths like it didn't even cross my mind that they were actually jerking but they were they were booths that they were playing pornography inside so what do we do we look into one and there's a guy beating off in there that was our second date i mean feels like that's what he was it's one of those things where you open the door and you're like i don't know what i expected to see it here you know honestly like but it was so shocking that you could just open somebody's beating off and they looked at you like you're fucked up like hey you sick of their

[23:04]bacon brownies yeah like you when you open a door and a guy jerking off in public looks at you and goes you sick fuck you know you've done something wrong you know what i mean you are in the wrong place oh it was bad russell what's your wedding ring situation i actually don't have that type of situation but i do have another one i have a i have a good friend and he is he recently got engaged to his fiancee and his fiancee is a guy who's been dating for a long time and he's been married once before and she was getting rid of her old wedding ring and so she sold it to someone and he was telling me how someone like bought the wedding ring like bought a used wedding ring what are your guys thoughts on buying someone's used wedding ring love it as you know i'm go right on ebay buy it you know i'm into that used shit let's go okay it can't possibly be unlucky twice you know what i mean like you got to be able to hit the jackpot on that second marriage it's not stuff man let's find a used

[24:00]find a home for these things yeah yeah plus i mean i like you could look at somebody's hands i do you have to get it resized russell how do you what is how does that work sizing a ring you got to chub it up first before you get it on right or not or do you sometimes they gotta melt it all the way down if it depends on the style sometimes they gotta melt it down and rebuild it depends wasn't this soaking wasn't rob talking about this a few weeks ago was i i i would like to have what some of our mystery callers calling and tell us if they've tried any of these things that rob looks up on urban dictionary i just he talks about stuff where he's like don't you guys know this is what this exists and like you never talked to a human who's like oh yeah i was over like soaking with my lady before i was going home to goon about it like that doesn't happen it is not my first of all gooning and soaking are not like weird things everyone knows they're not weird things it's weird they have a name it's weird that someone's like well what were you doing i jacked off for five hours oh you were good it's not just jacking off for five hours you also have multiple screens set up that doesn't sound like it needs a name that just sounds like a horny dude

[25:01]who's like doing this thing how do you come across that it's a category you can't just put labels on everything some some stuff is just people doing their thing i don't know i've got some latina milfs i would like to argue against that idea okay you can put a lot of stuff in the category okay i think i already hit the rolling stone button or they're rolling going man rolling going how's it going it's time to see what everybody's up uh good rob i need you to go to the old uh naked lady giver and uh hold on for me rolling going this week the rolling stone magazine came out with the 200 the top 200 country songs of all time oh wow i thought since this is a music podcast we should probably go through the top 10 all right oh i love it at number 10 we have george straight amarillo amarillo by the morning there's probably got to be a george straight on there wouldn't be my choice i'd go troubadour but he's got to be on the list right this this has i think this would be my number one

[26:01]but you know there's like i think there's 37 albums right now george straight but he was just turning through wow amarillo by morning great song whoa uh number nine is something called mama tried by merle hagan oh wow that's number nine there's eight country songs better than mama tried i don't know man yep we'll get it up there i want i want to hear him i mean good this guitar come on what's this is so good oh my god we gotta get to it we gotta hear it's only two minutes long i mean it's an absolute flamethrower oh good i'll never forget your brother brought this on as one of his lists yeah and then i started using it as my mother's day post on instagram i use this in the background with a picture of me eating eggs in the foreground and wasn't merle hagan he was the one who who listened to johnny cash at saint quentin isn't that yeah that is correct

[27:04]there's a there's a i gotta say though if your name is merle there's a 50 chance you're ending up in prison that's just the way it is towards the bad i kept on turning all right number eight sammy wynette stand by your man oh wow i mean one man also covered by the blues brothers yeah what's the bar called uh we got both kinds of music country and western oh yeah bob's country bunker this is my country bunker number seven can i guess what the number one song is going to be you can yeah i'm gonna guess crazy by patsy klein written by willie nelson i'm gonna say like putting my guess on record right now dixieland delight by alabama oh i mean that's a bop matt what do we got coming up number seven

[28:03]jimmy rogers standing on the corner blue yodel number nine i can't say if i know this one i'm sure we'll know when you hear it but all right this is from 1930 let everybody know all right number six ray charles you don't know me ray charles one of my favorite country musicians we all know it we love the album like we need to do a live youtube recording so people can watch search he's doing all caps searches i don't know why the spelling is like you know why i do all caps the computer needs to know i'm in charge okay i'm yelling at my computer show me ray charles right now it's interesting they would choose this one i know that's the exact thing they like try to

[29:05]be outsmarted it's almost like these rolling stones lists are real bullshit we put shouldn't base something in our life around them they're like oh let's pick the one people don't know yeah okay number five george jones he stopped loving her today which might be about the most classic of classic country it's like later than the the early stuff but earlier than the later stuff so far they're they're leaning all on the older ones we haven't had any anything i'll tell you up till about 20 it's all early stuff for us all and hoping she'd come even 20 you're gonna be like what the fuck i'm assuming boot scooting boogie is coming up soon if you have an alexa put on 90s country it's a non-stop jam it is so fun it's great my maria

[30:05]comes on everyone's singing where's fishing in the dark oh good don't stop before the chorus you always stop before the chorus you gotta go like listeners blue balls you gotta go a minute 15 into these countries i gotta admit that's beautiful if i came home and my mom was having sex with george jones i just closed the door and walk out because you gotta respect you know she came to see him one last time all right number four hank williams i'm so lonely i could cry all right i'm done with that just went behind the clouds i forgot how much i love hank williams we should do an episode we should it's a great idea why did i pick the guitar course god i suck at this so bad

[31:06]there you go another good uh karaoke song for the people who can't sing karaoke of course famously died of alcoholism and depression and then you listen to his songs and you're like oh i get it like it was right there in his songs not one of his songs was like i'm so happy i could have a slice of cake you know what i mean i'm so happy i could have a slice of cake i'm so happy i could have a slice of cake but only the corner only the corner you know to me guys country music i mean it's just about your dog dying and drinking and i wish somebody else would have said that before we there's there's not like one song about i went out and had so much fun at the strip club this weekend that i lost my ring nothing like that nothing i've never heard any number three patsy khan patsy klein crazy oh number three oh number three this would be a good i feel like

[32:02]sometimes uh strippers they pick songs that make it easy to strip to but if you could like between her voice and willie wrote it like this i don't know i'm curious now i can't you know what someone's calling right in the middle of mass rolling going hello hey baby it's me the big papa baby we didn't have to we didn't have to answer i'm just calling you because i just let it go to voicemail an interesting fact the other day baby you want to hear what it is baby let's hear the fact guess how patsy klein passed away how'd you pass away i'll give you a hint it's a lot like how i passed away it was a plane crash baby she did yep and i learned that information i thought of you guys so i don't know what that says about the state of my brain or this

[33:01]show at all okay number two johnny cash i walked away baby can you believe that they treated him guilty like they don't want to be president well gotta go see you guys later don't get the vaccine wait was that patsy klein or the bopper that was the bop walk walk the line from johnny cash it's hard i walked the line johnny cash you know what it's not my favorite johnny cash song but i think in this kind of realm of the songs that are being chosen it's probably the right song okay i i have trouble thinking about this as country honestly like i know it but i johnny cash to me is something separate this is i think the big one that makes him a star at the beginning yes it's true number one drum roll please number one dolly parton jolene this is an absolute burner and i've heard just a little bit of talk about it and you know

[34:00]basically this song wasn't that popular but over the years it's gotten more and more popular and so is dolly parton and regular mainstream society so that's why they think this is up here yeah the musicianship on this song is great too it's a great song now have you guys ever heard this song slowed down and heard dolly parton's voice look at this purple link okay 33 rpm listen to this you can hear she hits every note perfectly fast forward with flaming locks of open hair with it's whoa she does not miss on any of these at all your smile is like a breath of spring your voice is soft like summer rain and i cannot i mean this is wild it sounds so good

[35:01]jesus how the hell are we gonna do another episode after we hear this i mean that is you're gonna slow us talking about this song down to that speed so people can listen to it. Yeah, we're going to have a 10-hour episode. And see if we're hitting all the correct notes. All right, Russell, I want to just do this really quick for you, if I can get this. So I'm going from 16. These are all early country. Nothing before 1980 or nothing after 1980, you know, but Buck Owens in 16. At some point, we're kind of just being. I know, just follow along and see. I want to get your reaction to this. Age, the stinking Rolling Stone. The worst website. Oh, right. We've got Buck Owens at 16. Ernest Tubb at 17. We've got Lefty Frizzle at 18. Oh, yeah. We've got Charlie Pride at 19. We've got Taylor Swift, Mean, at 20. Wow. Mean. Okay. I guess that's still a country song, kind of. It's a country song, but then we got 21, The Gambler,

[36:02]The Stanley Brothers. Gambler's at 21? And then finally, at 23, we've got Dixie Chicks, Goodbye Earl, which, again, love the song. But that's number 23 country song of all time? This is. Charlie Rich. There's no Garth Brooks. Donny Cash. There's no Garth Brooks at the time. Very young. 23. Willie Nelson, Blue Eyes, Crying in the Rain, finally at 27. Hank Williams, 28. Mississippi Shakes. Can we get a little Chattahoochee? Please. That's what I'm trying to find. I'm trying to find it. Alan Jackson. Next week, I'll have to get it to you. Life Jacket and all. He's got Andy Travis anywhere? Tim McGraw. I'm needing out, though. I feel like they took 90s, like the 90s, country had just said, this ain't happening. You know, I would take Brooks or Dunn. I don't even need them both. Honestly. You know what, though? We've seen this before, that like these, Garth's not on the list. There's none of the 90s country people are, that's just not a Rolling Stone thing, I would say, right? No. But it should be. They're bops.

[37:00]They're bops, they're bops, they're bops. Russell, rolling going. How's it going with you? Rolling going. We're talking about MJ tonight. And I actually went and saw MJ. Love Jordan. Love Jordan. Two nights ago. I went to see MJ. I went to the touring Broadway show, Michael Jackson, the Michael Jackson show at the Orpheum. Wow. Broadway Michael Jackson show? Yeah, Rob. Have you seen it, or you know anything about it, or not? I have not gone. You know, I bike by the Michael Jackson theater every time I go to jujitsu. It's right there. I'm always like, maybe I should just pop in and see a Michael Jackson show. The music has got to be great, right? It's got to be so good. It was a really good show. We went, we had a really good time. It was a packed house. The story of the show is kind of, he's doing this interview with a reporter while he's kind of preparing, I think, for the Dangerous Tour. So it's kind of this interaction with the media. There's kind of going back and showing him with the Jackson 5 with his dad, kind of his tour manager playing the role of his dad as kind of an adult.

[38:00]It was an interesting show. The music was absolutely fantastic. The dancing from the star and everyone else in the show was absolutely amazing. I'd highly recommend anyone that gets a chance to go see it. If you like Michael Jackson's music, you will really enjoy going and watching it. They do a great job with it. Was there any mention of his chimpanzee bubbles anywhere in the play? There may have been a mention of that. There was a couple mentions that I thought you would appreciate, specifically, Rob. Part of it, they did get into pills. I don't know if he called those mommy's milk, but... Oh, okay. Mark your time. First mommy. Mommy's milk reference of this episode. And it wasn't Rob. And it wasn't Rob. Bubbles. Well, technically, I was thinking about Rob when I heard... You took my mommy's milk, muscles. We've all been concerned about this episode. Oh, good, Dr. Conrad Murray. Please. I can't sleep, bubbles.

[39:02]I wouldn't be able to sleep either if I had a chimpanzee in my house. Did you ever see that Oprah episode of the woman who got her face ripped off by the chimpanzee? It was brutal. It's a brutal one. I'm not going to show you, but if you ever want to look at it, she has a veil on. So about halfway through the episode, she takes it off. It was bad. No, I can't. You do not want to... I'll just tell you right now, you do not want to have a chimpanzee in your house. It turns out they're incredibly strong and actually not cool, okay? They will... When a chimpanzee does a titty twister to you, you feel it, okay? It's the real deal. And you know what Oprah said to that? Party foul. She said that was a party foul when that chimp attacked you. That was bad. Russell, back to your show. Yeah, they played... They played almost all the hits that you would want to hear. The hit that jumped out to me that I really enjoyed the most that I wasn't... I knew I liked the song, but they did a great job of kind of lulling the crowd to sleep. And then all of a sudden, they lit it back up with Smooth Criminal. Yeah. Smooth Criminal was probably one of my favorites. I think Man in the Mirror came away as like probably the big song,

[40:01]which is kind of near the end of the show, which was fantastic. But I will say if anyone gets a chance to see it, you got to go see it. How does the play end, Russell? Like, does it end with Conrad Murray coming out and being like, that's it for tonight, folks? Rob, I don't know if I can answer how it ends because the upstairs roommate may have had to run to the bathroom near the end of the show. So we were out of there right at the end, I should say. You walked out of the show? No, we didn't walk out, but we were ready to go as soon as it was possible, if you will. But the show was really good. We had a good time. I would recommend anyone go check it out. And I thought it was... It was really cool to go see it the week we were talking about this bad album by Michael Jackson. Now... Roll and go on, Rob. How's it going with you? Listen, guys. I want you to think about this. It turns out part of apartment living is the workers in the building

[41:00]will come change light bulbs for you in your apartment. It has to be one of the most emasculating things ever when a man walks into my apartment and takes my kitchen light fixture down... I would never be there. I would always be... While I'm sitting on the couch. ...takes my light fixture down and then puts in a new light bulb, screws it in, and then walks out. Like, can you imagine doing that? Like, this is the situation... What were you doing on the couch at the time? Were you playing video games? Yeah, I was on my Switch playing a new game I have. Okay, so I was watching them. It really was... I was thinking about it. I was like, I don't... This is not a normal life anymore, right? It's just wild. Would you guys want somebody to come in? But on the other hand, guess what? I fucking changed my bulb. It ruled. I didn't have to do anything. Dude, I would. Right now, I... The light went out in my son's room and I go to take the light down and change the bulb and it's a fucking integrated LED light that's wired into the ceiling. So then I spend a week trying to research what light I need.

[42:00]I finally find the thing. I order it from Home Depot. There's no way it's gonna work. I go to Home Depot and pick it up. I replace the thing and it turns out it doesn't work with our dimmer and it's this ugly, harsh white light. I don't know how to... Sell the house here. Sell the house. Hey, I can tell you this. They have soft yellow or soft lights No. Yeah, I gotta find one. Somebody finally got smart and said, we don't want this white bright. It's awful. And it doesn't work with our dimmer switch anyway because you gotta find the one that works with your dimmer switch. Yeah, they have ones that have dimmers. Is there anything that says you're an adult more than that time that you bought the blue white lights for your house? Who knows why? They were cheaper or whatever. You put them in the bathroom and you just look like a zombie every time you turn the lights on the zombie. You're like, I look like shit. I should not have picked these light bulbs. These are terrible. That to me was me being an adult. Harsh. Kind of like, this sucks. Russell, would you have somebody come in and change the light bulbs at your place? I probably would. But I don't have any, I have no ego about stuff. If someone's better at something than me,

[43:00]I've got no problem with someone coming in doing something better than I can do. But I would be embarrassed by it sometimes. The one we had, we had a rip in our screen window like a year ago and we tried getting the screen out and I couldn't get the damn thing out for the life of me. And I was like, I don't want to break this so we did have like our property manager come do it and that was kind of embarrassing but then he went through a whole thing where he couldn't figure it out either so I didn't feel so bad. Oh, that always feels better, right? When you do call someone and they go like, oh, actually this is fucked up. Russell, you're fixing the screen. What are you doing? Are you standing next to him? You know, like are you standing next to him watching and commenting on the screen? Are you playing video games on the couch? Oh, no, no, no, no. I would, if I were letting them, I would let them in and then get out of the way. And I wouldn't be in the room until they leave. You just go into your bedroom, and like cower or whatever, what's going on? I mean, if you're not gonna, if that's not a time to go jerk off, then I don't know what would it be, Rob. Isn't that part of like

[44:00]the part of like the allure is you never know who can walk in? Russell is fully corrupted by this fuck. I can't believe you walked in. I never expected this would have happened. Yeah, I just let you in and then it immediately gave you your jerked off. I'm shocked that you came to the right room. And yes, I always do it on all fours like this. Oh, that's normal to me. Boar on the floor. Boar on the floor. Now, I will say, Russell, I do tip them when they come up. I got some keyish on me, so I do hand out some cash. Big Daddy Warbucks over here. What's a tip? Well, to be honest, this light, they had to replace a whole bunch of stuff because like something fried. Like they had to put in a whole new light unit. So I gave me each a 20. Right, that's a problem with tipping. You can't tip $5. Like what's something you can do with $5 in New York? Like you gotta give them more than that. You gotta give them at least whatever lunch is. Oh, okay, yeah.

[45:00]20 then. Was it my rolling going still? Yeah. Rolling going. Aaron, how's it going with you? It's going good. I learned something today. I've always been curious how people play Dungeons and Dragons and now my son is very interested. Yeah. My son's very interested in Dungeons and Dragons. Good for him. He's got several books that, you know, describe the monsters, describe the lands, all that stuff. Just get ready. There's like 17 books and you'll have them all within the next year. Yeah, you know, Matt. So this is why I'm coming to you because like he's had all the dictionaries and stuff. So like we know there's like creatures and stuff involved. Well, he finally bought, like he had some money and I took him to Target today. He brought home like a D&D starter kit and he was like psyched to start to learn how to play. So with the three of us, we're going to like do a campaign or whatever. It turns out that the Dungeon Master has a lot of work to do. This is not a straight. This is not a straight forward. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're a Dungeon Master. Man, and like

[46:00]he brought the thing home at like 1 p.m. and he's like, let's play. And you're reading through the, like furiously reading the instructions. Like you got to like, if you're the Dungeon Master, you got to like bring your A game. You got to be telling stories. You got to think of all the characters. Like there was all this dead air when we were playing because I was like, I don't know, dude, I got to read the instructions. You were the Dungeon Master, Aaron? Yeah. So you had to come up with a campaign and everything and there was just dead air. We bought a book. You had to come up with a campaign in it, but then there's still a lot of like, I didn't realize how much you have to fill in yourself. I think the hardest part about a Dungeon Master would be how high up do you put the handcuffs? You know what I mean? Because to me, if my hands are up like this, not bad. Down like this a little more, that's rough stuff. Like the halfway down dungeon stuff would be bad. And how far apart are you putting the feet ones on the ground? Oh, yeah. As far as possible. For either side of the bathroom stall. Yeah. Matt, have you Dungeon Mastered for your kids? No, but their new school, every Tuesday, they have like something

[47:00]called an X Block or something. It's like kind of like a study hall, but everybody's got to do their own little club things. They've got Dungeon D&D Club. And then they now have, a few of them have, I think it's either once or twice a month and it's tomorrow actually. On Saturdays, they get together like five to nine and have pizza and everything and go through a campaign they've got with that. So he's found his outlet where I don't have to do it because I don't really understand it all that well. That's right. You know, the books, you can follow along and stuff, but it's... Aaron, I guarantee... It's complex. I guarantee at a school, there's a Dungeon D&D Club. Every school I've worked at, it's huge now. Yeah, I mean, he's still pretty young. Like he's going into second grade. So he's just at the beginning of... And even tonight, like he's not ready to like... He was getting into the role play stuff and, you know, being his character, but like the give and take and the listening and kind of... And then there's all this stuff. There's all this stuff about rolling initiative and then the hit points and everything. And like he just wants to be... To be able to say like, yeah, I sent my magic missiles out

[48:01]and now the zombies are dead. And it's like, well, no, because the, you know, zombie... You know, like they get... You got to hit them 3d8 plus 5 to kill them and your magic missiles only do 1d4, whatever it is. And like trying to explain that was a lot. So I'm... Yeah, I'm in way over my head on it and I'm hoping that soon he finds a real Dungeon Master to help him out. Aaron comes out with a leather mask on his head. Oh. Okay, well, this isn't what I was expecting. So... We'll get started. What'd you roll? I can't see. I bought the mask without the eyes. I thought it'd be cheaper. It was more expensive. But I didn't... Yeah, I mean, props to all the Dungeon Masters out there, man. I did not know what kind of work went into this. And like, it's very cool that there are people out there who are willing to do this work so that people can get together and have this outlet and tell their stories and do imaginative stuff. It's awesome. Rob, I was going to tell you about my campaign, but I'm worried my husband... This money trial might interrupt my campaign here. Can you imagine how big Donald Trump's mask would be?

[49:01]That thing would be like a fucking garbage bag. That would be like a Class M simple human garbage bag. You know what I mean? Fucking simple human, man. They've got it. All I know about Donald Trump is that Stormy Daniels said his penis looked like a mushroom. And that's all I can think about when I see him now. It's all I can think about. Because I'm picturing like a really little base and then a big tip and I'm just like, this is wild. This is wild. Go, what's going on? And you know, I mean, have you ever been more convinced if somebody has a bright red cock than Donald Trump? You know that thing is red and hot. Red hot. Gotta be. He's got the most red looking dick of all time, I bet. Aaron, this is the kind of creativity you could put as a Dungeon Master campaign. You could do all this stuff. We were talking about hard cap mushrooms tonight. Like literally, we were talking about like the guy had to send the campaign out to bring back some hard cap mushrooms. But then it's just open-ended. It was just like, oh, you met this guy and he wanted you to bring him some hard cap mushrooms.

[50:00]That's it. There's nothing. And then you got to figure out how you're going to. Anyway, you guys shouldn't have let me be the last round going because it'll never end. I will never get to the music. That whole thing. I mean, it's time for nobody. Just your kid disappointed in a campaign you run. Can you think of anything more disappointing? Yeah, man. But on the other hand, like imagine doing Dungeons and Dragons with your dad. You'd be like, I don't know. They call the work and they want you to do it. An assessment. And I'll be like, no, you're just talking about work now. This isn't a campaign. You're lying about it. Listen, we are talking about Bad by Michael Jackson. Okay, this album, it's Michael Jackson's seventh album, but it's his third and final with Quincy Jones. And what you have to understand about this album is this is five years after Thriller. Thriller came out massive, huge hit. Everybody's excited to see what Michael Jackson is going to do now. Next. And now, if you think about it, an artist like this waiting five years for the next album, it's tremendous. Basically, he came out and he said,

[51:00]I want less grooves from Off the Wall and Thriller. I want more kind of an edgier sound. He had to take a little break because he was making a 4D movie, a little thing called Captain EO. Ever heard of it or saw it at Disney? Uh-oh. This is a rich guy thing because I remember seeing Captain EO at Disney, but we're going to move on. Okay, you guys never saw the 3D movie with Michael Jackson? Nope. Okay. I thought that was something that everybody's childhood had. You said 4D. Well, time, Aaron. That's the fourth dimension. Was this the one where he broke the car on Fox? Did he smash the vehicle? No. Turned into a cougar or something? That's the one where everybody was like, wow, he's grabbing his crotch a lot. This is terrible. And then he turned into a cat. And that was on during, it was like the bad video. It came on literally primetime on a Sunday. It's crazy that Michael Jackson could just release a video and everybody would sit and watch it. Like, that's insane. Remember the time. Remember the time was the big one. That's what I remember the most, too. Yeah, that was massive. And then they played it

[52:00]and you're like, that song sucked. I stayed up and watched Remember the Time. This is terrible. It's an Egyptian-themed video. Also, one of the Remember the Time had, what, Eddie Murphy, Magic Johnson, and Iman, and Black or White had George Wendt and Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. It's such a crazy. It's weird. It's like, what? You know what? We should just get George Wendt to do the video with me. We should blast him in a chair off to Africa. That would be fun. Okay, Michael. Sure. I think a lot of people are like, I'm going to make a song about dunking a basketball, too. We're going to do a video about it. They're just like, okay, Michael, whatever you want. Jam, jam. Here come the band. Hot damn. So good. And part of that is kind of this album. This album was supposed to be tons and tons of cameos or whatever you call it, like featured. They wanted, listen to this. They wanted, who did they want on this album? They wanted Prince. They wanted Whitney Houston, Barbra Streisand, Diana Ross. But the only person they got is whoever's on that duet. I don't even know her name.

[53:00]And Stevie Wonder's on this as well. Off this album, nine singles, five of them, number ones. This is his first solo world tour. He never toured after Thriller. He grossed $125 million on this tour. Okay. He performed 123 concerts in 15 countries. 123 concerts. That's crazy. It was the best selling album of 87 and 88. And by now, 1991 is the second best selling album of all time. It was nominated for six Grammy Awards, one, two. And let's get into Bad by Michael Jackson. Aaron, guess what we're starting with here. And you know what? Titty Twister track? When you start with the Titty Twister track, it's bad. This was supposed to be the duet with Prince. Yeah, you can hear they were going for that, right? But Prince heard this line, your butt is mine, and said, that's why he didn't do it. The song starts with your butt is mine. Listen, I mean,

[54:03]I remember seeing this video and being like, there's no way this guy's beating up anybody. Right? Was anybody buying? Yeah, it's ridiculous, right? It's like one of the best album openers we've heard and also the goofiest concept for a track. I'll tell you what, though. This song fucking slaps, Aaron. I was walking around listening to this song today. I was like, I feel fucking bad. Like, I feel like I'm beating somebody up. I was listening to Raspberry Beret a bunch this week and it's very similar rum sound to Raspberry Beret. By the way, Prince sent back a song and said, how about we can't do a duet on this? How about we do a duet on my song, Wouldn't You Love to Love Me? Which is a song off his rejected album that came out after his death. I can't remember what he passed away from. Rob, if you could only have music from Prince or Michael Jackson in your life, which one are you picking? Michael Jackson.

[55:00]I love Michael Jackson. How about you, Aaron? I think you, I know Aaron's going Prince, right? Prince for me. Yeah, I gotta have Sign of the Times. What about you, Matt? Prince or Michael Jackson? What are you taking? Prince, not even close. Like, I mean, Michael Jackson does not age well at all. Prince is only getting better. What? Yeah. Plus, Prince has those great funk albums from his late career, like Musicology and 3121 that are like, you can just put those on and enjoy them. Guys, listen to this and tell me you wouldn't want to listen to it. I mean, yeah, this is a jam. You picked the best track on the, yeah. I mean, this is a, sounds good. The bass groove is humbling. Put it up against any Prince song. Yeah. Behind the Prince song. I don't know, guys. I love, you know what? I'm not going to put my foot down. You might be right, but I, God, I love that song. It got, that one went all the way up to number one. Okay. And now we have

[56:00]Speed Demon. Hey, Aaron's favorite song. Aaron was texting all week about this. He was like, Speed Demon, Speed Demon. I was like, oh my God, this song. I just don't like the text setting in this one. Like, how the hell did they come up with Speed Demon? Like, that doesn't make any sense. You think Quincy Jones heard this and was like, fuck whatever. Okay. Okay. I think once in a while Quincy was just like, it's like a heat check. You know, he's like, let me just see if I can still. This song was written about Michael Jackson getting a speeding ticket on the way to the studio. He came in and wrote the song right there. Do you guys remember, like, when's the last time you got a speeding ticket? I never forget. I got a speeding ticket with my girls in the car. They were flipping out. Okay. They were like scared I was going to like be put in jail for a speeding ticket. And I was like, I might. And it's your fault I was speeding. So. Never gotten one. Do they still give speeding tickets to white people or no? Russell, you are driving a muscle car and you've never gotten

[57:00]a speed ticket ever? I got a warning once for an unsafe pass. I believe that's all I've ever gotten. Jeez. Wow. Brett Favre. NFC Championship. Matt, you get it. What's your speeding ticket scenario? I got one and I don't think I've gotten one since like college. Wow. You guys are really good drivers. I got off one time going up to Duluth and had the kid in the back said, oh, we're just heading up to see Thomas the train. And the guy, I think, let me off. Yeah. The kid in the back is a good way to get out of a speeding ticket. I forgot I got one coming out of North Dakota and out of a small town in North Dakota and a cop got me and I was like, oh, shit. You don't know what it's going to be. And it was 12. It was a $12 ticket. And the two towns up was where the county seat was. And so we just dropped $12 in the envelope and put it in the mailbox and we were done. That doesn't even seem worth the gas to patrol for $12. Right. That's how you know North Dakota has a ton of oil.

[58:00]They're like, what are speed tickets? I don't know, $12. Who cares? Next up, Liberian Girl. I would say this is the most accurately titled song ever. He's definitely singing a lot about a Liberian girl. Here. There's a letter. Ah, it's on this like he's drinking Sprite or something. Ah. The spicy McDonald's Sprite. This song came to him when he was playing pinball. So somehow, him playing pinball, he was like, ah, Liberian girl, better go write that down. Sing it into my tape recorder. So crazy. And originally, this song was supposed to come out on the Jackson 5 album, Victory, which he released before this album. But it didn't. He didn't make that album. Now imagine, a song that didn't make the Jackson 5 album makes bad? What's going on? Who's doing quality control here? It's crazy. I don't understand. Yeah, it's a very uneven album. He had a lot of pressure from his dad and family, I think, at one point. One of the things

[59:00]they kind of referenced in the show when he was kind of coming up and making it big, they always wanted him to continue to do certain Jackson 5 stuff or whatever for the rest of the family, I believe. Boy, oh boy. Just good friends. This is a pretty good song. It's just not one of the big four or five that all time is, right? No, but it's wild. This is the one song the two of them did together, right? Yep, Stevie Wonder. And neither of them wrote the song. It's crazy that two of these prolific songwriters and musicians did someone else's song for this album. Just a wild moment in history. You wonder if maybe they wouldn't sing a song the other one wrote. I could see them. I could see them. Yeah, they needed like a third party to... Another part of me. This was in Captain EO. Jackson liked it so he put it on the album. Just good for another part of me.

[60:01]Rob, maybe you could go to the very beginning of the song. I don't know if you guys noticed the sound at the beginning. You hear it a few times throughout the album, but you guys hear this part? Let me see. Here we go. Captain EO's show right there. That sounded a little bit like the THX sound. It did. Didn't it sound like the THX sound? Yeah, it did a little bit. It sounded suspiciously like the THX sound. It just, yeah. So I heard that and that's all I could think about. And I know Rob, I don't know why Rob likes that song so much. Maybe he's got a T-shirt or something. I believe you've talked about it, right, Rob? I make the THX sound when I come as a shirt that I bought that I currently have in my closet and I'm 44 years old with two kids. I think I was there when you ordered it. I think you were too. I've done a lot of shirt ordering with man. Well, Rob, the next time the guy comes to fix your light bulb if you need to go into the other room and take care of business, I'm going to give you

[61:00]a list of five songs that have used the THX sound in the song. Holy cow. First of all, you guys know the THX sound is actually called the deep note. Did you know that? Oh, I did not know that. It's called the deep note. It's a sound trademark which is a distinctive synthesized crescendo that glissandos from relatively narrow frequency spread to a broader frequency spread It was created by James Moore, a former employee of Lucasfilm in 1982. It was then used for movie trailers, video games, and became very popular with Return of the Jedi. I think Return of the Jedi was one of the first big movies where the deep note, otherwise known as the THX sound when Rob comes, sound was used. The problem is, Russell, I love it when you say it. So the first song on the list is actually we're going to go back before this was created

[62:00]and go to one of the songs that was actually a big influence for the deep note. The song is A Day in the Life by the Beatles. Check this out and see if you can hear the influence on the deep note. Right? So this James Moore said when he was creating this sound, you know, this sound trademark, he was thinking of the Beatles A Day in the Life. And then he also was thinking about Bach, A Fugue in B minor. But I pulled it up and listened to it and I couldn't quite hear it. So I didn't think we had to go through that. But Bach also had an influence on the THX sound, Rob. Oh, I'm glad that the guy listened to this song and not like, will you still need me? Will you still feed me? That would be a totally different sound to start these movies. The T-shirt wouldn't have the same rig to it, would it? Yeah, if you do that, I don't have that Obladi sound clip, but imagine playing that over and over and over again for each movie.

[63:01]All right. One of the first songs that pop songs that used it, and I don't know if you guys will know this one. I'm guessing not. This is from 1985. The band is Asia. It's Countdown to Zero. Some of me got to let you get a little play for a little bit after zero. Almost always intros other than one of them. But yes, this makes me want to fly a fighter jet around a little groove here. Yeah. Can you imagine the band Asia like just name themselves Asia? That's wild. That's like somebody naming themselves Earth. It's like a whole big thing. What planet would you or what kind of

[64:00]would you have gone with? Oh, Dr. Uranus. Dr. Uranus and the hand mirrors. The shock brussel. Next song on the list. This is Dr. Dre at the Chronic 2001. This is in the intro at the very beginning to the Chronic 2001. Oh, yeah. I hear this. I'm like, I really sound so good. And then they just kind of go. There's kind of a skit here at the beginning, but Lucasfilm actually sued sued Dr. Dre in 2000 for this unauthorized cover of the D.A. Deep Note. You know, here's the crazy thing. When did the Chronic 2001 come out? 2001. 2000. 99. 99. Isn't that crazy?

[65:00]Why would it come out two years before? Because we listened to it in Rand a lot, I remember. Jeez Louise. Why did it come out two years before? They just want to make it so futuristic, but not that futuristic. I don't know. It's wild. It's just 2001 seems so futuristic at the time. Next song on the list. The last two here are ones that I don't know, so they're just kind of new songs for all of us, but that's part of the fun with the list and the quest. This one is 100 Gex. I believe it is. The song is Dumbest Girl Alive. Check this out. Boy, that's just sound time. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I heard this one. This had to be on the list, right? Love it. This song fucking rocks, Russell. 100 Gex has a really passionate fan base. Like people who like 100 Gex love 100 Gex. You guys got to put this on on your stereos at work. People can't come into the office and you're listening to this and be like, this guy's got a transparent business card and he's listening to 100 Gex.

[66:00]I'm not fucking around with this guy. He means business. Next up on the list. This is, I believe it's Evidence, the red carpet featuring Raekwon. And this is much more subtle. It's in the back. It's being sampled. You can hear it. Well, they built a whole beat on it. It's cool, isn't it? Yeah, it's cool. I love it. Yeah, it's cool. So that's the list, but there was one more thing we had to celebrate with this. You guys may remember this. It's from the episode Burns Air from the Simpsons. This is the Simpsons in the movie theater. The THX sound comes on. The deep note comes on. Things start exploding. It's all I could think about was Rob's T-shirt, but check this out. Let it go for a second, Rob. Grandpa Simpson wants it turned up.

[67:00]So that's the list of the greatest songs ever featuring the THX sound, otherwise known as the deep note. Oh, shit. Alchemist did that beat for Evidence. I had to look it up. I did not know. That was a top five list I've ever heard of the best songs with the THX noise in it. I'm not going to lie. Good stuff, man. I did not know that you would be able to find more than maybe zero songs that had the THX noise in it. That was kind of shocking to me. Listen, Man in the Mirror. All time. Is this an all time song? I wrote down top 25. Yeah, it's a great song. It's a great song. I mean, it sounds good. It's groove. Everybody wants to sing along. And of course, it's one of my famous karaoke bombs of all time. It's a hard song to sing, man. No. What Michael Jackson song do you have over this one? I do. PYT. Honestly. I love PYT.

[68:01]It's so good. What about Beat It? No. Okay. No? No. I would take the way you make me feel over this one, actually. That's just me, though. I always thought this song was later. I thought this was in the 90s. Not like on Fat. I don't know why I thought that. This is the first single off the album. I just can't stop loving you. This is the one they wanted Barbra Streisand or Whitney Houston, but they both declined. So it's with Sade Garrett. And she's the one who wrote Just Good Friends, too. Yes, that's right. I gotta say, guys, Michael Jackson doing a duet with a woman, it's just, it's hard to tell who's singing what, right? Like, it's, like, who was that? I'm not sure. You know what I mean? Like, that could have been either one. It's kind of the fun thing of it, I guess. I don't know. This is kind of a skipper for me. Aaron said track it.

[69:00]Track it. Track it. Would you mind having blown it if my parody song was I Just Can't Stop Loving You? You'd be like, why did you pick that? Is there a chance that Michael Jackson was just, that person is not real and it's a puppet that Michael Jackson was using and then singing both parts like a ventriloquist? Like Prince and Camille? Yes. I don't know. Like, at some point, you know, Michael Jackson's drinking water and the woman's singing. I don't know. All right. Next up, Dirty Diana. Michael Jackson did a song for Princess Diana and didn't want to play the song out of respect and she demanded it because it was one of her favorites. Which is hot as hell. I mean, that's hot as hell. I mean, if a princess demands you sing a song, you can sing it. Do you think this limited the number of women being born named Diana? It had to, right? For sure. It has to, it has to have some,

[70:00]it's a non-zero impact. Definitely non-zero. I've never actually heard this song. What? All the way through. I don't think I've ever heard it. Like, I've heard people sing this song and I know it's a song and I've never actually listened to the song. Really? This must be an Aaron and I had like similar wind amp or like Aaron listened to my wind amp at college because I've never heard this song. Guys, I used to listen. I'll never forget, I got this album from my, I got a cassette. This is one of the best cassettes I ever got from my aunt who gave this and it was a double cassette with the weird old Yankovic Fat album. And you'll never guess which album I listened to more. It would blow your mind to know which one. Couldn't imagine. Guys, next up, finally, Smooth Criminal. It's Alien Ant Farm. I didn't get to hold this one. I mean, remember when Alien Ant Farm came out with this version of the song and we were like, this is awesome. And then famously,

[71:00]of course, they refused to play it in their live show for a minute. Well, this will be embarrassing. I knew this version before the Michael Jackson version. Really? I think so, yeah. That's out of context. I definitely knew that. This was like college, Russell. What? You never watched this video? Matt, did you listen to a ton of Michael Jackson as like a 16-year-old? I listened to a ton of Michael Jackson, but everything after this album. But don't you remember the video for this where he's leaning? He was leaning. And the guys are breaking in and I was always like, what the fuck? And I'll never forget. I had the Sega Genesis Moonwalker game that was a Michael Jackson video game and you'll never guess if it was good or sucked really bad. Was it worse than the Where's Waldo for Nintendo? Oh, I don't think so. That was, that was an all-time our family worst buy. My brother got it for his birthday and it was just like blobs of colors.

[72:00]It was terrible. You bought the Where's Waldo? He didn't. I didn't. He bought it for his birthday. So you would go on the control pad and what? Just find Waldo? Just kind of move around the screen and try to find Waldo and then click A when you found it. But it was just like blobs of colors. If my kid requested that, I'd be like, I can't do it. I'll buy you cigarettes. I'll get you whatever you want. It was like the infamous worst game we ever purchased. What was the worst game you guys ever had as a kid? There had to be one you bought where like, this is terrible. I had, and this is going to shock you guys, but when I had the Nintendo, I had the gun, of course, with the duck hunt, but I also had the robot. I got the one that came with Rob the Robot and there was exactly one. I don't even know what that is. It was one game that you could play. Okay, Rob and Nintendo Robots. And it was a game called Gyroscope and it was one of the dumbest What is this? thing that ever existed. This was a robot that would pick up pieces and put it on a controller to like hold it down.

[73:00]It was so stupid and we tried, I tried to use it. I was so stubborn. I tried to use it for years. And I finally had to accept, oh, yeah, I own a robot and it sucks. That, I could not comprehend that as a kid. The idea of owning a robot and it sucked so bad. I was like, what? How is this possible? You know, I'm watching Rocky 4. There's a robot on there. It's serving shit. It's talking to Rocky. I'm watching the Jetsons. Yeah, the hot robot. I'm watching Short Circuit. Oh, the hottest of robots. I watched Flight of the Navigator. All this shit. I'm playing. Terminator. Yeah. I mean, this robot sucked bad and that was the worst purchase I ever had. What about you, Matt? I don't know if I could, yeah, I don't know if I could think of one. I mean, I just feel like as soon as it was a bad game, you would just never played it. So you got rid of it. But I don't know. I can't think of one. My kids have bought a couple of really dumb ones for Switch lately.

[74:00]Yeah. You know, but they're usually pretty cheap. So I don't know. I can't think of one. When I bought a Sega Genesis, I did instead of getting a Sonic, the Hedgehog, I got the version with Altered Beast by choice. Who would do that? Altered Beast was a rough one. Yeah, that was no good. Rise from your graves. I had the Dick Tracy game for NES. That's pretty bad. That's bad. It was bad. That's so bad. Yeah. I was just watching a stream. I was watching on Twitch, these guys, these streamers I like, and they were playing the Dick Tracy Nintendo game. It was terrible, Aaron. It's terrible. It was awful. Yeah, it's awful. God. I think I saw the movie in the theater and first of all, I tried to convince myself that I liked the movie. Like, ooh, this is cool. You have to. It's noir or whatever. There's weird colors. It was huge. When Dick Tracy came out, there was fucking Madonna in there. Yeah, Madonna was in it. I mean, right. like Al Pacino, you're just like, Dustin Hoffman is like, wow, this is going to be the greatest movie ever. And then you're like, oh no,

[75:00]this is really, really bad. It turns out that when Warren Beatty is like 60 years old, you do not buy him as a. Hot take. Yeah. I only know one movie with Warren Beatty in it and it's Dick Tracy. Bro, you've never seen Bullworth? There's no way Matt gets a Warren Beatty movie. No way. Oh, I was trying to think. I'm sure I know a few more, but I can't pull one. And Pooh. I've never seen it. Bonnie and Clyde? Nope. I haven't seen it. Is that, I get that confused with Natural Born Killers. I saw Bullworth in the theater. No, no, a Warren Beatty political satire. I was like 12. I saw it. I was like, this sucks worse than Rob the Robot. This is bad news. I did lots of shitty stuff as a kid. This is so weird to me. Like, like people talk about Warren Beatty. Like, like I don't even know anything about him to know. Like, like when you say a Warren Beatty satire, I don't even know what that would even mean.

[76:00]I don't know anything about Warren Beatty. No clue. But Dick Tracy. I think you're probably okay. That tells you everything you need to know. It's time for everybody's own It's not a lot. Who did he marry? He must be famous for who he married. Annette Bening, right? Yeah, I think you're right. But he was, that's what Yersel Vane was written about was Warren Beatty. Yeah, he was kind of a serial playboy, right? Nice. Okay. Now, Aaron. So it's sugar-free serial playboy? I was going to say what would be worse is serial penthouse because they'd probably be pissing it. They're pissing penthouse? What? You guys, didn't I ever tell you that story? Oh yeah, 100%. There was a guy at St. Olaf. Who had penthouse and I had only looked at gallery and playboy growing up. When I saw penthouse, when I saw penthouse, I was like, oh cool, a new kind of thing. And you open it up, no, or no, hustler. This was hustler. That's what it was. I've heard of hustler. And you open it up and there's somebody peeing on one of the pages

[77:00]and you're like, oh, that's exactly my response. You know what I mean? Like who, who would be like, okay, where are we going to put that picture where they're peeing? We're going to put it in the middle. In the middle of the photo spreader at the end. That sounds like it came from a linebacker. That sounds like a linebacker kind of a thing. Listen, who knows who owned all that stuff, okay? Can you imagine transporting that back and forth to college now? Oh, almost forgot. Big stack of pornography after bringing this to school where my friends and I could look at it. Use it to sneak in, to sneak in beer. Was it Elizabeth Holmes that had the magazine? Answer your phone. Aaron, any progress on that? Has Elizabeth Holmes reached out? Still never. Nope, not yet. Let's try to get it done. You know what? That might have been her on the voicemail. She might have been the one that's behind, so she might get up to that eventually. She'll get there. She's going to catch up and get us that free book that she wants to give you so bad. Fake sister. Listen, we're talking about bad. We're talking about Michael Jackson. Okay, we're at 194.

[78:00]Is this album rolling well-toned? It's perfect at 194. Guys, it's Michael Jackson. It's his third best album. Okay? It's now, it's no off the wall. It's no thriller, but it does, it does deserve to be in the top 200, doesn't it? If it does, that's rolling well-toned. If you think it should have been higher on the list, which would be a lower number, it's got rolling bone. Or if you don't like this album and it should be higher than 194, we're talking 195. We're talking 196, 198, any of those. That's a rolling groan. Okay? Matt, what do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan Michael Jackson? Rolling groan. This is the third album we've had from Michael Jackson. 12 was thriller, 36 off the wall. No, 194 we've got bad. I just think it's too much Michael Jackson in the top 200. I don't know. Maybe I'm into the cancel culture of Michael Jackson, but I'm sick of the guy. Don't want to listen to him anymore. He's got a couple of great songs, but I can't get over the bad stuff. And so, I just don't like

[79:00]listening to him anymore. So, I say rolling groan should be lower on the list. Russell, what do you think? Rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan Michael Jackson? Well, now if I say I like the music, now I feel like a horrible person. So, I probably should just not answer. I think there's hits, there's commercial hits all over this. If you're going to say like he's on the list, he was the king of pop, man. These albums were huge. His music was huge. I think some of these songs still rock. So, I'm going to say rolling well-toned. I'm good with it. This is a far step below thriller though. Yeah. If you go, yeah, it is, but thriller was in the top 10. That's true. That's a great point. Aaron, rolling well-toned, rolling bone, or rolling groan Michael Jackson? Yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm probably with Matt that we can probably start pushing some of these things to history even though they were important at the time. I think also this song, like this album starts out with just like two absolutely great songs and you go like, this is like, wow, this is an incredible album and then there's some just fucking clunkers

[80:01]in here. Although Man in the Mirror is a great song. So, you know, it probably belongs on the list, but I don't think it's better than some of the stuff we're going to hear coming up. So, I'm going to give it a rolling groan. Unfortunately, you guys are incorrect. Incorrect? You're incorrect. Okay. This album gets a rolling Alien Ant Farm. Guys, without this album, we wouldn't have Alien Ant Farm. Okay. It doesn't rhyme at all. This version of Smooth Criminal kicks ass. It had a kid in the video who was dancing Michael Jackson moves. It was awesome. And again, famously, Alien Ant Farm for a while would not play the song live. Oh, you gotta be shit. You would go see Alien Ant Farm and they would not play it. Can you imagine? You'd just be waiting. Can you imagine going to see Alien Ant Farm? Like, that sounds fun. I don't think it'd be, I don't think you'd be there too late, Aaron. I don't think it'd be a long concert. He wouldn't be there as long as we're on this podcast. It'd be like if Tag Team would have came out for that Wolves game the other day and just like,

[81:00]we're not doing Woomp. We're not, we're just getting other parts of our catalog. What the fuck? Get the fuck out of here. What are we talking about? The only reason they even exist, they're like, nah, we're good. What the fuck? Next up. This is so stupid. Next week, guys, we have a debut album. Okay? And I'm going to give you the name of the album and you see if you can guess who sang it. It's called Songs of Leonard Cohen by Leonard Cohen. When you want to hear about the greatest albums of all time But you're just too lazy to look it up online If you want to hear four guys who chat and then they get off track I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Jack did it better. You know, Aaron, I'm going to roll the dice here. I'm going to try

[82:00]to give this elf a titty twister. Whoa. Okay, I'm going to roll an eight. Oh, that's not enough. It's time to say Do you think if you went to one of those dungeons where a dominatrix you paid him to beat the shit out of you? Do you think them giving you a titty twister would be like too far? Like they'd do that. You say stuff like that as though like, oh, it's just one of those dungeons. Like, it's like a thing. You just walk down the street. Like, I'd be like, hey, listen. One of those dungeons. Listen. Listen. You're hitting the bottom of my feet with a rotan cane. Fine. Okay? That's what I came here for. You've got a riding crop. Okay? You're beating my ass up and down because I'm a bad boy. Great. Honestly, that's why I'm here. All right? Listen. You've even got me in a cock cage. Okay? And if I'm really bad, he's at me. Fine. But as soon as she gave you like a really hard titty twister, you'd be like, this is not, nope, we're done. This is not cool. Yep. You'd have to get,

[83:00]yeah, orangutan. Catalope. Get out of there. It'd be really bad. I could go lick my own gray balls at home, right? Oh, my God. I had that ripper moved, so. Oh, my God. I've been saving that one for you, Rob. I can tell you, you know what Michael Jackson did that is bad? Oh, I don't know if we want to do it. When he held his kid out the window. When he held his kid out the window, a blanket. That was bad.