Robyn: Body Talk (2010)

[00:00]so anyway i am in i am in a high point in my life okay so get ready because this might you might be seeing manic rob here pretty quick and not to be confused with robomania which was an event just remember rob what goes up must come down i don't think so i've had this erection way longer than eight hours i think i'll be fine tell us dwight eisenhower infinite growth motherfuckers in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to make it this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy beck did it better we are all the way up to album 196 and from 2010 it's an album that's pretty swede yeah it's okay pretty good it's body talk by robin if my body could talk he would say he's putting on incognito mode on his phone again look out when i go to incognito mode in chrome my penis just sighs

[01:01]can i do my second body talk joke that i'm not sure if it's okay are you if we say no are you gonna not do it every time i've heard a body talk it's mostly said oh well you know what's crazy about that now now here's a stand-up bit i think this is a good stand-up that's a bleep right there oh might be one of the best words that describes what it is ever you know what i mean but then again if you think about it almost every bodily function that you do is perfectly named this sounds just like it matt 738 of the recording time the time where i decided i can't share this with people i care about 738 oh i mean guys it's right there barf i mean it sounds like that it sounds like barf yeah thank you thank you aaron how i can keep it in art sound like fart yes art i don't think so no no you're right my life is a lie i'm never

[02:04]gonna get this phd now my thesis fell apart with one question all right listen let's turn on the radio let's hear it what's up everybody welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b you know sometimes it's not about the destination see the title it's about the journey especially if you try new things oh yeah just last week matt was on vacation it's a song about man can't miss he needed to stop at the gas station he went into the bathroom and looked around into one of the stalls is where he sat down he saw the writing on the wall and it said stick it through here for some free head

[03:10]matt found the glory hole so he took a poll and after the voting the yeas had one two zero no's so he leaned against the walls cold metal on his two balls but all he felt was insulating foam that itchy insulating foam all right so who is that polling who's it taking a poll from it's just you oh but you're just because you always do robert's rules of orders when you're asking if you should use that glory hole point of order if you want to hear about the glory hole i'm here for guys who chat and then they get off track i've got the perfect podcast for you jack i second the insertion did it i remind everybody that i

[04:07]learned about glory holes from my mother-in-law that's important in the james brown episode i just listened to the other day and i didn't say james brown so don't say that top five episode rob what's that james brown episode top five uh it might be it was a good one it's where you took her to the rolling stone concert you bought shitty tickets a good year and you think oh my god oh that's pretty good just thinking about it and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god you know what this is the greatest time of my life i thought it was five minutes ago it's now because i'm thinking about that story i've got four guys here who fill even fembots with feelings of dread you guys didn't read the lyrics a size of their balls compared to the shaft does not compute what this is more grayness than i have ever seen in my life all right so that's two episodes in a row of that joke as well uh i've got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing rob this podcast is killing me actually probably not that far off that's that's down to two there's only two of us who's not

[05:06]killing now we're up me being sleep deprived the podcast is killing me listen this this is not recommended don't fucking tell me what to do dana play recording a podcast with your friends is not is only recommended by one out of five doctors and it's diet dr pepper it's got caffeine and it's not the doctor that russell that rob lives with oh god i wish i lived with diet dr pepper the second cousin of dr mcgillicuddy oh no doctor and doctor in together surgery that's why you can make a drink called the surgery dr pepper dr mcgillicuddy's matt in minneapolis matt how are you doing tonight rob i'm second guessing everything you've said and done oh fair enough not me i've never made a mistake aaron in california now aaron just came back aaron was on a tour with a friend of mine and he was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so and he uh he went to dc actually and he went to ford's theater ford's theater and he was telling

[06:00]me about a plaque he read where it said lincoln's hat went fucking flying it's like that's why would that be there because no sense i got aaron in california aaron how are you doing call your girlfriend rob it's time you had the talk give you reasons say it's not her fault can you imagine though i bet seeing that hat i bet it did go fucking flying just i mean it's just made to get shot off that hat what are you doing oh no no we can't do this all right is this it's like as a pruder film joke i'm so confused i don't like the joke i talk about the one who was killed by eating too many cherries and milk you guys are like oh that's fine remember that he died of stomach pains anyway i got a bunch of cherries in my fridge right now stone fruit season it's almost here i went to the farmer's market this week it's not not quite there close we're getting close you know what aaron i have i have i would like to last week we were talking about protests i'm gonna make a protest what's that no peaches uh-oh yeah yeah a week ago i picked up some peaches and i had peach bitters and i was

[07:02]like i'm gonna try to find some cool drinks to make with peaches for a night there's not a lot of good drinks that come from that feature a peach i'm just telling you maybe you've done something i think a peach is not no the most overrated stone fruit when it comes to trying to cocktail out a stone fruit i mean you're probably right i i wouldn't try it i mean you can do a peach smash right where you gotta like muddle the peach in the glass i did a peach smash their thing with some brown sugar some some whiskey some peach okay but nothing really felt right with it so i think you gotta stone fruit keep it out of your your drinks i'm not gonna disagree i gotta admit why does a peach taste so good and yet there's not like peach other stuff there should be peach soda right they had to make schnapps or something people really eating lemon and limes and being like oh fuck i wish this was in a soda no i mean nobody's chewing on roots and being like hey let's put this in a soda you know what i mean nobody's eating cream and being like hey make this into a soda hey rob i'm eating lemons and

[08:03]limes check this out russell why do you have a bowl of limes down there you know what why am i asking i know why you have it down there you're not doing traditional medicine i know exactly what he's just got limes and half and half just rob if i'm about to go out i gotta bite down on it really hard oh god dang it you can't do that when you live with somebody russell you can't do that because she unless you make a deal with her oh hey she finds you if she's gonna lie about it there's no way she would no i know it's tough no way no it wouldn't it wouldn't even it wouldn't even make it like eight seconds and everyone i've ever there would be like an instagram page about what happened yeah russell died jacking off oh but russell but russell wouldn't be in it it's the one picture of you on instagram that's the only one not what we wanted russell that's not the pictures on instagram we wanted that's a shame he's not here he's not here to object anymore so i

[09:00]guess i can put him up in my russell should i post this picture yes please those would be up in like eight seconds oh oh it's like old your oldest underwear the worst the wool socks everybody found that funny last episode wearing big wool socks uh now listen rob remembers the jokes that didn't work more than the jokes that did that's something that's normal and not how he was raised uh listen okay let's get right to the voicemail now i said last week we have a little theme for this week so let's get into it is this another person praising the beginning of the podcast rob oh i assume how are we doing on voicemails rob do we need some line 802-277 we actually do that's 802-277-2325 you know i listen to some shows they're just getting lots of voicemails and they're asking like oh interesting questions that start conversations just do that just call right now hey 802-277-BECK just call you can hear your voice on a podcast isn't that cool i would think that's cool oh no okay so call

[10:04]in we love you we want to give you attention okay and don't and stop sending pictures of the hairy feet okay i'll post russell's hair leave me alone about that already please i'm calling out the two imposters who call themselves complimentary movie guys here we go i'm the og complimentary movie guy i invented the method of just walking past a teenage ticket guy knowing he doesn't care enough about his job to do anything about it i guarantee those other two pussies never took a date to a complimentary movie now one time i went to a complimentary movie that sucked and so i walked out halfway through and demanded my money i even expanded the complimentary business model to include golf and wedding oh let's get the fuck out of here with those golf and weddings this isn't rough i gotta say i have met this i know this voice i've met this particular complimentary movie complimentary movie is it a cartoon and this man is it sounds

[11:03]like a cartoon six foot eight or taller so like he's got like for him to say like i just walked right past like he was not sneaking into these movies man i gotta give him some respect like he's right can you imagine how hard you'd get blown in the theater if you use that with a date holy cow your headphones would be a date night is so fucking baller isn't it yeah it is absolutely it would be crazy i would just get an empty popcorn bucket there'd be no need to even put popcorn in it because everybody knows what's about to go down you just walk by dads have to dread their daughter going out with a compliment like a guy who's gonna complimentary move like the dad's like hey here's here's 40 bucks for the movie night he's like i complimentary movie this and he's like what yeah i'm just gonna walk by the ticket holder tonight while your daughter's blowing me in the theater oh jeez fuck's sake russell's like thanks for the 40 i'm gonna bring you back 56 we're gonna have to edit this out i can't listen anymore we gotta edit this

[12:03]out listen okay i don't get though first of all you could do that more people are checking tickets less at the movie i think becoming a complimentary movie guy is becoming easier to do they just aren't checking anymore or they're getting the tickets at the candy stands you just walk by nobody cares he's a he's he's a genius now i have to say extending that to golf not i don't quite figure out how that works what was the other one he said golf and what else did he say weddings yeah i'm confused about the weddings i ordered the chick normally have to pay i know i don't think it's his wedding russell i don't think he's sneaking in for his wedding most of the time at golf courses it's old men who are just it's like a part-time job when they're retired right and they take that free golf they take that they're they're not afraid to walk up you and say hey where's your where's your green fees things like that so that's what that's that's the one i'm interested in is how we how we get set really can't you just get out on like if you get out like if you find a way to the third hole or something can't you just get started i'm telling you no i mean around here

[13:02]they've got the rangers that drive around and they yeah it's the old guys and you don't mess with them i was down at the golf course the other day and i saw uh uh uh mike messier and i was like it's the ranger oh did you just fuck up the first name rob you want to retry that hey i was at the golf course i saw waltz and i saw mark madonna all right how many movie guy call back i mean that really i i can see where he's pissed about people getting credit when he's doing it on a golf course i mean that's true yeah those other two pussies i can't believe it rob let's improv it i'm going to be the ranger you're the complimentary golfer how you think this would go all right hey hey hey guys pull over i i need i need to see your ticket for the the round a ticket oh i did you give me a ticket i put something i put everything back in my car you you guys have to have a ticket what all four of you got the ticket one of you

[14:02]has to have the ticket where can i see the ticket uh no i am oh i'm no good at this you can't do this at all what's the most complimentary golfer i've ever heard rob say this what's the difference between complimentary movie guy and another very popular guy shoplift from the airport guy from the airport it seems like it's the same guy okay but but like an airport nobody's getting hurt by that it seems like it's to be the complimentary movie guy try shoplifting from the airport tell me how it goes so rob you you're going on a date and this date is like no we walk through what what do you what are you thinking on the date what how do you even react to that i couldn't do it you know i mean i used to take grapes at the grocery store and eat them because i thought that's what you did i can't do that anymore i feel bad doing it i thought that's what you did i thought that's what you did it's how i was raised we were we're discovering a lot of problems with how you yeah i only had

[15:03]a couple bites of the watermelon it's fine now he only eats frozen grapes i wish there were less complimentary podcast listeners i wish someone would pay us for this damn stuff right they're elementary aren't they can we patreon that rob we can patreon this i guarantee we can get five people to pay a dollar a week i'm warning you about copyright k all right rolling going aaron how's it rolling going with you whoa it's rolling going uh it's okay i'm feeling a little bit nervous at this moment it's 10 45 on saturday night i am going to try to play basketball uh tomorrow i played last week and a couple things happened um one my shoe blew out and i bought some new shoes on zappos and they were supposed to be here and they're delayed so i'm gonna have to wear the shoes wear the shoes that blew out so that's unfortunate was it like a zion williamson blowout like on the court wherever

[16:02]it was like this is the greatest athlete ever or whatever yeah pretty yeah no it totally was and then the other issue that happened um like i i know i have to go back and show my face um it's i don't know yeah let me let me see what you guys think last week on set on sunday i hadn't played for a while so i went out to play and this guy shows up young guy very nice guy but clearly more skilled than anyone else on the court and like the way that the way the game works is like we don't shoot for teams like you clearly like they're very thoughtful about how you do the matchups because there's a pretty wide range of skills so it's like pick somebody your skill level and then you do rock paper scissors to see who's on what okay so it's like pretty fair but um the other really good guy didn't show up so i ended up because i'm one of the younger guys what yeah you are one of the best players no no no that's not it i'm one of the younger guys who like is in better cardiovascular shape to chase somebody around the court not a better player

[17:04]oh so i ended up matched up on the best guy he fucking wore me out for two hours yeah to the point where he started he was right-handed he started playing i don't know i don't know i don't know he's embarrassing you a younger me would have been offended but what i there was nothing i could do i played i played as hard as i could i even i even had a shot at the game winning hoop in the last basket in the last game and missed it and then he came down and scored with the left to close the game and so it feels like part of me was feeling like i should just walk away and never show my face again but i feel like i gotta go back i gotta go back and not when it's you're taking on the dog the top dog no you gotta back matt i am often in those situations right where somebody's a little more athletic on the basketball court kind of a thing because usually people who are going to play basketball like playing basketball right so

[18:02]they've got at least things like that i love playing basketball me too but in those situations i always just figure out which is the dominant hand and sounds like this guy kind of forced you yeah he did but then it just make it if that is to say hey if he's gonna he's not gonna score right and so i make that guy go left every single time because usually he's gonna miss half the shots uh you know he'd maybe make let's just say he'd make seven out of ten going right but he's probably only gonna make four or five going left kind of a thing yeah so that's my you gotta you gotta like cut off half of his his angle yeah or if you know if you know he likes posting up like just force him out right like you just don't let him don't let him post up in too close let him post up from like 12 you just got you got to find that annoy the shit out of that guy and then that's what you got to figure out that's how that's how you get too good of an athlete compared to the three of us rob i know you yeah yeah we've gone to the fuck matt matt's looking at this like i'm a good enough athlete to make a difference whereas aaron and i like it doesn't matter what aaron was doing no he could take every he could

[19:02]have chopped that fucker's right hand off and it wasn't going to make a damn bit of difference out there like scoring with his left he just straight up started he was like i'm not going to score with my right i'm gonna just score with my left and did it for a whole game and then hit the game winner left right in my eye it was awful but everybody on that court has eaten shit i guarantee it they all know what it feels like to go against the best player like nobody said like yeah nobody said hey do you want to switch like i guarded him for like four games they're not gonna say that's it that reminds me i had an embarrassing event speaking of getting old i was doing some jujitsu this weekend and i a guy put me his head his put his legs around my head so i was like okay this is the classic gonna choke rob so i got some time because one advantage the only advantage i have in jiu jitsu it was we were both on the side valentine's day lying down we were spooning but i knew i was gonna need these lemons tonight oh my god don't do that russell i thought he was gonna choke me and my one advantage i have in jiu jitsu is i'm almost

[20:01]impossible to choke there's somebody to get their arm around my neck i could just go like this and my neck disappears rob rob is like rob is like doing the turtle man that like he's yeah that's what draymond did against rudy gobert that's it draymond was ready for it nobody can choke me but i didn't realize this guy was actually putting me in an arm bar and he bent my elbow backwards and it happened so fast that i yelled and i yelled loud enough for the entire gym stopped rolling and looked at me to make sure i was okay and i was okay but i was like oh my god everybody thinks i'm like because i was like was it more of a shock was it like a shock it was yes it was a shock and it hurt it wasn't that it was not my elbow did bend the wrong way but i thought like he didn't crack it though no i saw my power lifting career like like bait and like it was like slow motion and then i was fine okay and then i had to wrestle him for three more minutes and guess what he continued to beat my ass which i switched around today because i went against a guy who was his first lesson i beat that guy like a dog it felt so good it continued my great feeling

[21:00]and it was beating up on somebody brand new which is a terrible thing to do but that's what that guy did to you aaron he comes to the court he i mean how old is this guy 30 and what is how tall is he by the way yeah how tall is he yeah six feet okay so about rob it's not like a six four six five guy but he's no but he's got actual skill and he's a bull like he's a he's a strong guy like and can actually play hoops like he was you know it's like there's 10 guys on the court there's usually two guys who can really play and then there's other guys who are like skilled but they're older so they're you know they're kind of slow and old man basketball exactly yeah but this is like the one guy who's like actually skilled and young and in shape and he wore me the hell out man listen pick up basketball is like one night stands everybody wished they would have done more than one night stands when they were younger you know what i mean like it's right you should be playing more pick up basketball it's fun even a bad day of picking basketball is fun right and go back tomorrow hopefully i don't blow into you i have to ask did you ever try to go back at him like is there a point where you're like well i'm taking him to the hole like i'm going mono a mono here i'm in the

[22:03]zone the thing is he i mean this is the embarrassing part it was like he was tired like he wasn't like like in the fourth game we played for almost two hours like he wasn't playing much defense and i was missing anyways i went back at him i went back at him but i was missing like you know i could like i could get to the basket and then or he pulled the chair on me once and like i you know threw it up it's like oh you know i went back at him but he had come like there was one like i did make one mid-range shot where he just like kind of lost me and i and i hit it but yeah there was no like going back at it really immediately hit him with the two ball right into the big balls going down the corner no it's i mean it's such a nice group of guys and like this guy was nice too that i'm you know that i'm well past any sort of like dangerously competitive juices but it was uh it was a rough

[23:02]it took me until like wednesday before i felt all right too i was very sore so we'll see how tomorrow goes that guy could be captain phillips so look out it don't forget to give me the captain now that's yeah that's right how's it rolling going with uh with matt uh good we talked about eating pizza because uh i think i'm trying to figure out what i am and i never labeled myself like an extrovert or an introvert but i think i'm an introverted extrovert if that makes sense because i could talk to anybody at all time but man there's some situations where i cannot stand and one of those we've talked about in the past is kids birthday parties like i have for years tried to get my kids to just go to like the jump houses or whatever like that where they've got the high schoolers and just pay 300 bucks and they just go do it they've never wanted to do that so again second year in a row like leo always wants to have kids over they did dungeons dragons this year and played video games like perfect birthday

[24:00]right but like yeah we've got 10 kids go eddie he just wants to go to the park he just wants to play gaga ball and uh capture the flag with his friends like at the park but he wants you involved right he wants you to be well not not even that really but you know we have to set it up and then we've got to get pizza and all this and how many kids are coming how many kids are coming and how many pizzas you get and all this and i always order way too much and so got to do it we've got we've got a bunch of extra pizza but let's let's turn on the hose and fuck up his grass you know they're saying something like that yeah so we got through it but man i just i that it's it's my weakness and you're still here awake talking to us what's the go-to pizza for kids birthday parties in minneapolis i mean we just got there's a dominoes right up around the corner from us so we just ordered the dom it's on like 60th and wow pen but it's like on the south or on the northeast corner used to be a kenny's market back in the day and now there's a dominoes there so pen i don't think nobody's right around the corner not a single person wants to know how far is that from broders is broders still there uh broders is 50th 50th um

[25:02]10 blocks i would say just about 10 blocks yeah that's kind of about right that's kind of by lake harriet matt a couple blocks from that lake harriet's about 48th we're very southern to to the other lakes in minneapolis what's that it's like south of embody sky and lake of the day mccoskey yeah but day mccoskey but north lake of the aisles yep the comas is on the east side the comas is off of cedar and like 54 58 yeah people love it no nobody does i got an email from brand at mcnally.com that's the joke that gets you tonight aaron an atlas joke oh hey we gotta play we gotta play a song for yes please or chata by uh um vampire weekend i cannot

[26:00]get enough vampire weekend it's completely uh underrated band in my opinion oh is this it's not off the new album i haven't not off the new albums i've been going back to get deep okay and so like i just it's they're awesome they're great i can't get enough of them no and they came out in 2008 which you know it's kind of a little bit of a dead zone 2008 and then like 2011 12 things like that so i don't know but i've been listening to some of the older stuff now on top of the new album and matt what do you think about the oxford comma i have to use it the song is great oh god i you know what russell i don't use an oxford comma because i know it bugs people why is it why we have to use the only reason i the only reason i use it is because word at work always auto corrects to using it so then i just throw it in whatever are you guys have you guys eliminated the double space after the period from your life absolutely oh yeah yeah you have to right i work with people who are fighting for that i'm like

[27:02]really you got to get out of the stone ages all right keep going um so got through that again but man it's something i just can't say and i think this whole extrovert introvert thing is we were sitting outside i think i'm scarred for life by being out in public and just hold hold on you know just rob you can probably help me with this more than anything but we're sitting in downtown wisetta along lake minnetonka because eddie's got a birthday party at the ben and jerry's minneapolis for those you can take you can take lake street actually from minnetonka through there and kind of come in the back way yeah it's a couple new roundabouts and stuff um but they're at ben and jerry's so i'm sitting outside waiting for his birthday party to be over and i'm just looking at my phone and a guy walks up to me he goes hey how you doing no and i just right away i'm like oh fuck you know like what is this guy selling what kind of it was a sunday what kind of church crap am i gonna hear from this guy

[28:04]kind of a thing you know and he goes you know and all he want nice it turns out to be the nicest guy in the world right and it turns out i'm just jaded he's like got a dog goes you know when the starbucks went out over here i'm like oh you know i'm from minneapolis and he goes oh i haven't been here in like three four years and i always used to come down and just get starbucks when i was here and so i'm just trying to find a coffee and i'm like oh nice guy hearing about like this type of conversation russell rolls up his window and puts a hose from his exhaust into the window goes no i don't know leave me alone but like i i don't think i will ever just go up to somebody random and he i mean like because i can't stand it i cannot stand when somebody comes and talks to you i don't know i it's that's one thing about new york city is my kids we're all trained if somebody comes up to you in the street and says hey can you we're all just like no no thank you no thank you there was the funniest tiktok where this miss new york did you guys see this where she was talking to two teens who needed money for their basketball team right it's the oldest scam in the book

[29:01]yeah and she says well i don't have any cash i'll venmo you they said okay give me your phone and we'll do a venmo and they've been mowed themselves at three thousand dollars oh and i was like yeah what are you doing giving your phone to people it makes no sense speaking of walking by the people i live in an area there is like a river walk kind of where i live it's um the river walk i suppose technically would be north of where my house is rob but you can go you can walk up and down the river which is the mississippi river i believe it travels all the way from northern minnesota down to the gulf of mexico through st louis by memphis man i don't know but anyways we can do i i do i'm trying to do the get up go for a walk in the morning i've been doing the river walk every morning for a few days how many steps we get in a day russell i don't count the steps what crazy russell's not a measured life man russell's russell goes on field last time i measured something it wasn't it didn't go as well as i was hoping it was so i've decided

[30:03]not to go back to it you gotta measure the the steps all the way to the joint but but there is there is first there is a down closer to the the one of the bridges the the uh whatever the famous bridge is down here there's a stand where there's people doing some sort of religious you know they stand there and they'll there's people always there like you can go like at six thirty you know seven in the morning and there's people standing there and i started thinking how attractive would this would a lady have to be at this thing for me to stop and have a conversation oh my god this person who wants to talk to you about jesus yes it would have to be so hot i mean i don't unbelievably hot yeah unbelievably it would have to be like if it was arnold schwarzenegger i would be like okay i'm gonna stop and talk to this person about it and that's about i was thinking like females like like heidi klum let's just go with that i wouldn't talk to any guy yeah i was

[31:02]thinking it would have to be prince to get me to talk to the to the religious people you know that's i mean yeah hey prince i hate celebrating my birthdays do you ever religion for me then the other question i had for you guys about this what is a success you want to measure something let's measure it by like it's what is a successful rate rate for something like if you do like a three-hour turn you and someone from your church or whatever group you're a part of you're out there and you're standing there for three hours let's say in the sun like like one over one meaningful conversation is that the goal i just can't i can't relate to it what what what is the the goal in terms of number of conversations in like a three-hour window it's got to be for a person who isn't just looking for somebody to talk to it's got to be one every two sessions if you did that i bet you'd be one of the most successful people at that stand ever i mean who's stopping i don't know i'm asking ask i mean matt you want to stop and talk to

[32:00]strangers no absolutely not well they must have stopped right the people who are at those booths probably stopped at some point so yeah there's just one person every every week or whatever wow that's a great one aaron and their reward is in heaven they're not worried about what goes on that would suck though if they're right oh my god i'm getting i'm getting stuff shoved up my ass for eternity in the depths of hell and i'm having unspeakable things done to my body and there's nothing i can do about it that'd be terrible you know and we've talked about this in the past but if the devil is there to punish all the bad people isn't he really good then isn't he on well this is mind-blowing how's it going i don't feel like i'm talking to bertrand russell over here all i know is if if our listeners start going up one a day you'll know i've started stopping at that quarter by the river by the bridge what if i set up a state what if i set up a back did a better stand do you think i get a better hit

[33:03]yes of course right no i don't want to be a you don't be a bummer russ if you would be a bummer if you if you went down and talked to him in the next couple days there was no stand this guy came down he told us about his podcast the main part is rolling going doesn't even rhyme with rolling nobody gets the bit it's rolling stone it doesn't make any sense they're like i don't want to be a part of club that it will have me as a member that's it rolling going uh last week i told you guys how i started off uncle russ it was the day of uncle russ a great day i wanted to show you guys how i started off uncle russ i wanted to show you share with you guys some of the experiences we talked about the going to the card shop you know getting the rated the graded cards and everything and how much fun we had but we made like six other stops during this day and i wanted to share the other stops see what you guys think you guys have kids or aaron your your son's five six years old somewhere in there right he is seven so right in the same age range here we're talking uh i took out my niece and nephew we're probably six and

[34:04]eight six and eight six probably a six and eight year old right now i'd say you don't have to know nieces and nephews are not important i'm out so the second thing we i told last week we talked about we took him to a card store my nephew was super into it and he's did the pokemon card so this afterwards the next place we were going to go they're ready to have a bite to eat so we go matt to the sports page on lindale we go to the sports page with uncle russ yes the guy comes up our waiter comes up and he's like hey you may have heard about the fire last week so we have a limited menu they had some sort of fire oh and they could only do like deep fry they had like cheese curds fries i hate like a so they had no grill they had no grill just a fryer fish and fish and chips so we get some we get some fries fries cheese curds and uh i don't know

[35:01]chicken fingers or something like that so just a small snack we're sitting there here's where i think i have found the perfect like uncle the the thing where you as a you can have fun and your nieces and nephews can have fun i think it's the best number one thing ever could i could i try to guess you know what it is matt all right let's let you i won't ruin it then for you it's pull tabs it's pull tabs wow matt you knew where i was going with this right well i was gonna say and in a sports page it's a double whammy because there's pull tabs but then there's also a duck machine yeah that you win every time you win every time yes so no matter what however you every time you win so the kids go home so it is it's a double whammy right there between the pull tabs and the so we go in i'm like hey we can look at the baseball cards and open some cards in here when this food comes out those cards got to be in hands got can't these are investments you can't be getting like grease on the cards and all that stuff right i'm i'm setting down the law this is

[36:02]how you treat this stuff right and so we get we get some look at the cards cards go in the bed no no push back to uncle russ nice they know this is the way we got to do it just get some food look at hey we should get some pull tabs pumped kids are pumped for pull tabs so we go over cardboard crack 50 bucks in we're going through them at the very end my nephew looks at me goes this is a 200 winner paid for it paid for the whole thing right there no reinvestment no reinvestment just literally they just paid for all the cards and the lunch we just had isn't this incredible yep and now you've made gambling fans for life yes yep yeah i'm gonna teach you about something called a parlay okay it's actually what they don't what casinos don't want you to know about they don't have to know that like when they do the gambling ads on podcasts

[37:04]and they give you like the the numbers to call if you have a problem like i was one of the guys that had to call the numbers right yeah that person you live in minneapolis can you imagine what those guys hear on that hotline they're probably like you know my kid's college account i lost my house and then they just like listen i'm out gambling with my niece and nephew and now they're addicted to gambling out of my life so anyways we go to the sports page we have we have a great time next place we're going we've done sports cards we've got some to eat we gotta go shopping we're going to bleep it out rob we're gonna bleep it out place to go shopping so we go in we go straight to the toy aisle my nephews reach the point he doesn't want the toys he just wants to know do they have cards up by the front he it's all easy oh yeah hooked on the card special spot we call it the special spot i mean that's crazy that he's just so singularly focused yep my my niece picks up

[38:04]like some sort of small ipad looking game thing and he's like oh my god i'm gonna go shopping she's super pumped about it my nephew goes up we pick out some cards in and out of the self-checkout everyone has a has a great time at target right that's you got little kids they want to go buy something incredible yeah that's like me they love buying stuff that's like me the target i go right past the cards right to that slushy machine do you get like the popcorn at target right nothing smells as fucked as the food area but i don't know who's in charge of the food area smells it smells so much joe from woodbury it's a guy named joe from woodbury he's in charge of it's just like hey what's gonna make people hungry oh let's just make it popcorn i was like who the fuck is getting popcorn at target makes no you're not like nobody goes to target it's like damn i wish i had some popcorn while i was walking around that's an easy thing to eat and push a cart there's nothing harder to eat and push a cart than popcorn anything would be better a churro great you know what i mean a hot dog even better but popcorn nachos nachos probably not that easy

[39:01]you cannot eat popcorn and push a cart you gotta dip you gotta dip and you know that's that easy dip and dots also not easy you look over and you know how you can get those baby things where like it protects the baby and it's just full of cheese on mine pixie sticks driving but your head's up high while you're driving you eat pixie sticks it's so funny to me cheetos would that be worse i mean your hands would be oh god can you imagine grabbing a cart and there's like that film on it oh and then you go to the like if you're in the food like in the clothes aisle and you're like oh let me i wonder if this white t-shirt is gonna fit me oh no i don't use those wipes on purpose i don't care if i live or die hey it's the ultimate gamble full tabs for pussies i go to target and don't wipe down the carts it's all cheesy so we put the cheesy cart back and and and i decided we're going shopping again we're not done at target

[40:01]we're i gotta watch this because they don't sell all the jerseys at target that the other sort of we're going to dick's we're going to get the edwards jersey for my nephew and a kayla clark t-shirt for my niece we're going oh whoa you did you really did it man russell this is crazy this is like this is this is why uncle russ is a legend i don't know i don't i don't have to i don't have to bring it like this you guys have to bring it like every day this is every day i don't have to do that so i gotta go all out on this day you're going to dick sporting goods okay yeah now are you testing out a golf club while you're there i'm always testing out the putters when i go there here is here is the coolest part of the day this is where you guys see this like it's the simple things in life that entertain kids yeah they they live up north they're fucking pumped about the escalators they see the escalator going up into the upper level of dicks and they're they're pumped they're kind of somewhat scared but excited like it's like a roller coaster and

[41:03]i'm like no and i kind of i didn't even think i was like i suppose they probably don't go up a lot of escalators and they're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm very often they were pumped for the escalator so how many times up and down we went up and then down but then here's we're taking a double escalator at the next place we're going we're going to dave and busters we're going to the arcadia in the night oh jeez these kids are spoiled for life man now russell are you getting a drink at dave and busters i got no drink i was just i was monitoring the card the whole time i didn't know like do you give the eight and the six-year-old the card or i i felt like i've got to run the card my son just got the card and i'm just drops it they will lose the card in the thing or a kid will take their card like you do you have to monitor the card yeah you have to grab it back every time my son will like put it in his pocket once i'll be like oh cool he's got it and then the next time he leaves it on the machine or whatever yeah you gotta you're the card master and i gotta say i've never been to a dave and busters before it was fantastic it's great russell there yeah there's there's not like 20 games

[42:04]there's like a hundred legit games that a kid at age reach is gonna have a blast playing it was it was so good now did they have the huge pac-man russell they did we didn't play the pac-man though oh i like a huge pac-man i like huge it's like a story tall aaron everyone in the place you play it it's so stressful to play now you would think huge joystick no regular size joystick it'd be great if it was a joystick like the size of a person you had to move it's like shacks it's a story about shacks penis it might it might what's the story about shacks penis there's a story about shacks penis that like i don't know if this is true or not but i'm sure i've told this on the air it's just going straight rob here this is this is i'm sure i've told this before where he's at a urinal and a person that the urinal next to him looks over and looks at me he goes i know big guy regular dick what apparently he's got a regular

[43:03]size dick and like what a bummer that was that would be brutal that would be tough so that's the story you know big giant you have to put that in the first line of your bumble so just so you can't like that can't catch right off guard because he famously has like size 30 shoes doesn't he yeah oh and he's wearing a regular enz tip no thanks i mean that's i don't know that's the story i've read on the internet i don't know if it's a true story gotta be true this aaron what is this is you've just taken rob's soul today you're doing all of his best bits if you saw shack with a normal size peener it would be like watching the hobbit you know what i mean where gandalf's in the back and frodo's up front you're like i'm a motherfucker i know there's never eyes talked about this before horse perspective i can't believe you have any of their hair that would be weird because how would he jack it what it would be gone it's like why he's bad at free throws his hands are too big yeah it'd be like he's holding a tic tac he's holding a flesh colored tic tac oh my crazy

[44:02]he'd probably do it with two fingers because you know what i mean wait russell you're talking about uh so we're at dave and busters i have i have one small complaint about dave and busters one small complaint yes it's the end of the night it's you gotta cash in the tickets oh and oh how do you balance ticket distribution like because you go in and immediately like my nephew's like oh there's this basketball thing it's like it's like the lebron minis in a little you'd open it up and you get luca or lebron but it's like 1900 tickets yeah we we've got 2100 combined how do you allocate the tickets at the end when you've got two kids with you it is not easy i russell split it split it you gotta here's what you do you split it 50 50 but you pull the boy ahead of time aside ahead of time and go listen remember those packs of cards we saw target you split these tickets we're going back and we're gonna get some cards later but you cannot say a

[45:04]word trust me as somebody with two kids if it's not 50 50 you're gonna hear about it for easily the next seven years they remember every slight that my kids have ever had happen they remember to it like perfectly it's the number one thing they remember we kind of split it we kind of i just kind of said you know what i told my nephew at one point the the basketball thing it's not happening today i'm sorry we'll we'll pick out some other stuff that fits into the thing he came around he was totally good with it we picked it out so we done with dave and busters one final spot on the night one final spot jesus we we go to one of our favorite spots together we go to shake shack we're getting a milkshake to end the night before i take them back to the to meet their mom unbelievable weren't these kids tired you rocked out dude they were finally starting to drain at the very end i think wow wow what are you gonna shake shack russell smoke shack what are you doing you know what i got we got one i got a burger we got some

[46:02]fries to split and then uh my niece got a a donut milkshake have you guys ever had a donut it's like a strawberry donut milkshake love it god damn it sounds and then me and my nephew we went with like one of the lemon lemonades or something like that so but it was it was a great day so i i feel like i've learned a lot from you guys hearing about the things you do with your kids and all the fun you guys have so i i hopefully had a fun day with my niece and nephew rob how's it going with you russell have never and will never have a day that fun with me ever i tried to take him to noodles and company rob oh my god see that's that's the difference between a niece and a nephew and kids kids take your ass and noodles and company nieces and nephews you go to dave and busters my kids you know what my kids hate more than anything what's that video games they hate video games because of me they do not ruin it for them i did i'm like hey let's lift weights and play video games they're like you're the dumbest piece of shit i've ever seen ever

[47:02]i'm like oh my god what's happening they don't even steal from the airport anymore here's this well no i do that in front of them because it stresses them out and they better not turn me in okay i can't do time i won't do time okay i'll go down to mexico you guys will never see me again there's this little uh beach town called say what's new i heard that's a good spot listen okay here's the deal i told the story on the text chain but i gotta say it again i went with co-workers chaperoning a trip somewhere okay and we got there and we walked 20 000 steps every day now every day i gotta tell you i wore the wrong pair of underwear to walk 20 000 steps the first day and it felt like that my crotch was a cheese grater it felt like the worst it just felt like ground up hamburger down there after the first night and what do you do what do you do because i got i'm like i i'm i'm

[48:00]in a hotel room i'm by myself co-workers actually my boss says listen i'm going to the drug store to get some shampoo do you want me to get you anything and i was like and i can tell you guys i was milliseconds away from asking this person to pick up gold bond in the green bottle it has to be in the green bottle pick up the green bottle of gold bond and i was just like maybe they will think it's for my feet you know what i mean like maybe i can but then i just i held and i said no i don't need it later i did go get the gold bond i did apply it to myself like i was a baby on the bed legs up over my head all and guys i'm telling you this so you know me when i'm in a hotel first thing okay pubes goodbye see you later okay they're gone okay second thing hey we're doing rob in on this one it's more like rob out on those pubes right rob in rob out oh we should have played rob in and rob out dang it oh that is such a bad idea

[49:00]guys i definitely don't have anything like that ready all right rob in or rob out rob in or rob out matt and aaron did rob have to wear jeans while doing this tour instead of wearing shorts like he should have rob in or rob out oh definitely out he definitely wore jeans he's wearing jeans aaron what are you thinking is rob wearing pants or is he wearing shorts during the robin anywhere right i don't want to interrupt but i'm with maddie wearing pants rob did you wear pants or shorts i it was in teacher mode so you know i was wearing a short sleeve button-up shirt and the tie pants i was wearing khaki pants oh no wonder you get gold bod i had to have gold and you know what you know i've got that like athletic underwear where it's like the sweat wicking it was no seams i'm telling you there were some seams in this because it it was like a little bit of a mess but it was a little bit of a mess but it was a little bit of a

[50:00]mess it was like the the rain forest getting you know cut down and burned up down there holy shit but i did i did end up going to the drugstore and getting some gold bond and i'll tell you guys when i'm in a hotel room putting on gold bond i'm not going easy that shit it's like agent orange going on there it's going all over it's like george washington powdering his wig but it's my toad washington getting powdered up that shit is so much that when you turn over in the bed you feel it like on your dong you're like that's enough i've used enough and guess what it took care of it gold bond is one of the most magical things i don't know i think gold bond is the same as whatever's in menthol cigarettes but you put it on your chode it is so great it is wonderful it is like matt's glory hole it's a little fiber glass in there so that i don't know what it is it feels so good god damn i love gold bond i think it's so great then you you were there for a few days did you reapply on day two or not oh every night but that was i didn't need it that was just for fun because here's the thing russell is that

[51:00]when you're married that's one of the number one things that you can't do when you're married what's your wife comes in and catches you putting on gold bond in your bed he's gonna have to be in your bed right i mean i forgot i forgot you've got this big house down here rob doesn't have that he's got no space in that house that apartment to do that actually can't you just like stand in the bathroom and kind of just like do just chalk chalk it up the way you would chalk a barbell or whatever oh you're gonna put gold bond up have you ever heard of a guy named isaac newton you dumb piece of shit what about gravity unless you're doing the volcano and you're blowing the bottle and shoving it up but i feel like that could cause some that could cause a gold bond piece and that's not what you want don't load that thing up gold bond enema hey if somebody can make us a t-shirt that says beck did it better on the front and chode washington on the back i would appreciate it thank you hey we i know you guys did an amazing list a few weeks ago about the best up and down songs i've fairly uh you guys never heard of

[52:00]mr isaac newton either you dumb pieces of shit it's time for nobody's favorite part of the music podcast that was great it's not a cookie it's a fig new yeah no shit it's not a cookie it's a fig newton i'm at my fucking friend's place where they don't have anything good all you have is oh a fig newton for a treat oh thank you very much mrs jones it's a cookie i would rather have ice cream yeah i'm stealing your husband's pornos and taking them home for myself you gave me fig newtons oh what's your husband gonna do say somebody stole his pornos shut up it's a perfect crime how come target doesn't have an adult section oh my god what a great idea oh yeah that's where you could have been browsing while your niece and nephew were shopping i mean i didn't we didn't need to do it like that erin we could have like no erin god damn it erin you hear what rob was doing earlier you needed to repeat that what are we doing i edited out but i edited out everything but where we yelled at erin for saying that can i just say this it was a slightly different joke

[53:01]this way if you went to target in 2023 and they were carrying avn's best awards and of course the adult video network awards we've talked about this before you could probably find back by the paper towels that section that back corner the baby wipes you could find all these nominees for movie of the year grinders dark is the night love sex and music the hitman going up now that's an idea for erin's gold bond i'm not sure about that i'm not sure about that i'm not sure about that and the best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be man spidey pool xxx that must be a spider-man deadpool porno parody okay hey can i ask you guys wait a minute siri remind me of spidey x porno parody in about 45 minutes please i thought that was funnier than you guys did okay i forgot to tell you guys something i bought tickets i bought tickets for a future show at the orpheum i love future it is speaking of the future it's back to the future is coming to the orpheum i don't know matt you might have to look

[54:04]this one up you might have to go see back to the future the musical well we've been looking at it take the boys because we watched within the last three months we watched all three movies oh you gotta go for the first time can i just say this let me ask you this russell you go to the play yeah they don't have a scene where a guitar blasts them back you disappointed by that it has to happen right 100 it has to listen we are talking about what are we talking about again body talk by robin coming out in 2010 okay so here's the deal 1995 robin comes out swedish kind of pop singer and she comes out with a tour initial album called robin is here which is probably one of the greatest debut album names ever it's a great name right away what's going on two billboard top 100 hits okay uh do you know what it takes i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know but robin was had a hit kind of a couple hits in 95 she releases two more albums they just get released in sweden and all of a sudden she makes uh she wants to switch more to electro pop the

[55:05]label says no we don't want that she says okay fuck it i'm gonna make my own label all right and she releases the the album named robin in 2005 gets nominated for a grammy for uh dance music so that's 2005 five years go by doesn't release an album but has lots and lots of songs making more songs and so she says you know what i'm gonna release a mini album because it doesn't matter anymore it's 2010 so she releases uh body body talk one then in uh june 1st september 6th body talk to november 22nd body talk part three kind of a mini cd and body talk the album which is this which is kind of a best of i have never had so much fucking trouble putting together an album as i did on this one because i downloaded the three cds had to put them all in the right order it is all over the place and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna release a mini album and i'm gonna put them all over the place this russell you want to talk about bands i haven't sold this only sold 91 000 copies in the u.s oh however you look at the best pop albums of the 2010s this one is on

[56:04]every single list and what's crazy is it's on the new apple let me go through the top selling albums of 2010 okay to put this into perspective teenage dream by katie perry because here's here's my problem right i had a kid born in 2008 i got a kid born in 2011 2008 to 2000 2015 is like a pop culture black hole for me i don't know anything from that time i don't know any movies i don't know any music i was full into like you know changing diapers a little little powder for you a little powder for me let's switch it around you know what i mean okay toad washington they didn't think that was as funny as you guys did benjamin franklin i feel like there's something there with that uh bruno mars is the number two best album recovery by eminem is three taylor swift speak now rihanna loud justin bieber lady all the way down to the top i don't know what they're talking about i don't know what they're talking about i don't know what they're talking about it's a weird pop space where it's like this

[57:02]kind of folk pop and this is just a straight dance pop and let's get into it right away the first song guys i thought of myself ben bot rob you're a shock jock are you surprised howard stern let her do this album the solo stuff have feelings too what you split my heart into oh that robin goddamned russell that was good that was really good i get it one of the lyrics of this this is about like you know it's obviously computerized and all this one of the lyrics is i'm a very scientifically advanced hot mama and i gotta say you guys if you watch some robin videos you would never guess a swedish pop singer is this gorgeous i was kind of like so rob you were saying this is kind of outside of your wheelhouse matt and aaron do you know anything i'd never heard of this before but i know i'm out i'm out to lunch on like pop culture but did you guys know anything about this before we listened or not just know dancing on my own and call your girlfriend yeah i was gonna say i kind of knew it tangentially just from i think hearing it a few times but didn't like put it together this

[58:03]was like a great album came out so knew very little about it i cannot tell you how many of these song titles strike a chord with me this one's called don't tell me what to do okay she was i've been on tour for a long time so she's just sick of it so she wrote this song but this yeah this is a different version than i listened to because i listened to the compilation one that starts with dancing on my hand so props to you rob for going thank you go to the original tapes i went off the wikipedia list for the album now she's talking about how she's all the stuff she's doing is killing her how do you guys know when you've got too much stuff in your life going on isn't that one of the hardest things to identify i start forgetting to do things i'll forget to like shut a garage door i start forgetting to do stuff that is just very basic that's when i know i've got too much going on oh yeah i just then can't make decisions it's like something simple i'll be like agonizing over and so i realize like i've got too much happening

[59:02]see like me i'm doing weightlifting three times a week and i'm trying to do jiu jitsu three times a week and i'm like oh yeah that's right my body can't handle that i feel like and i never see my family and then i'm like oh yeah i should probably cut that out hey question for you over under like three and a half minutes until you you would love this album i'm not saying it's i'm not giving away a ranking because i don't know that needle enjoying it means my ranking will be like was there a point where you guys got hooked on this and like found it very catchy and you enjoyed it or not i love music like this like i'm gonna bring up daft punk later but to me i was just like this is right in my wheelhouse i love the repetitive electronic music i think it's fun where you can just turn on something the lyrics don't matter i mean could you think of an album that's more opposite from last week than this one like it's it's just it's it's it's a banger but it's hard to sing almost like you just you just let it wash over you i don't know that's well for me i had trouble because i just let i know the two the two

[60:00]anthems and so i just was listening for those and the rest of it i don't care to hear so i was you know i love those two songs so i was kind of spoiled by them feels very and this sounds bad and it's not meant to be bad it feels very amateurish the beats and the stuff compared to like a daft punk or compared to some of these other people that are out there and so to me it felt just a little too poppy if that's if that's a thing like that's where it's just it was kind of went a little bit in the left field for me on the on the the dance side of things that it just it was not the greatest i guess i like it now am i ever going to put this album on again i don't know about that but i did enjoy listening to it this one this next song dancing on my own has been described as the ultimate sad banger which was not my nickname my junior year of college this is also a moment happy not banger hey you're half right happy not banging this is a moment that's

[61:04]etched into my mind as well because uh replacement's guy i don't know what was going on at the time this might have been i don't know how it happened but they played this song at his wedding and people went nuts people were really this would have been a lot more fun if it had been a lot more in 2013. yeah 2012. i think he came here in 2012. people went bananas for this song at his wedding i gotta say i bet replacement's guy's wedding was great i gotta say that seems like a guy that would have a great wedding it was a very fun wedding they had a whole hog they did a hog pig roast oh i wish uh listen this was uh nominee got nominated for a grammy for best dance recording in 2011 beaten by rihanna it's also a big uh it's a big pride song for pride month coming up does rihanna does rihanna just have like hits and does she have famous albums or what do we is she on the list are we gonna hear it coming up in about 10 the fact that this is before rihanna i gotta say that's where that's where i'm kind of gonna run into a sticky

[62:00]wicket later on uh next up indestructible now here's the wild thing this is off album two the first song off body talk part two guess what she had put on part one what's that indestructible the acoustic version this is not on this album but i wanted to show it that's kind of cool i love it i think you can see how you can hear the song like good song it's a good song man doesn't matter if it's strings or a 808 man rihanna's at 230. 30 anti the densest favorite time that's for my oh fuck that doesn't bother me good job erin i like that joke hey next up ross that's very mature of you thank you yeah okay okay i'm i'm uh

[63:04]i don't want to say what i was gonna say maybe he did learn uh after going behind her back and creating that weird episode weird episode the best of a lot of people i'd never know i haven't i was gonna say a lot of people liked it but i actually have gotten zero but actually you know what i got one comment on the podbean website that was just for the rob and john show so you guys are lucky i didn't change the cover art by the way i was gonna come up with new cover art for that hire somebody off fiverr again by the way what a what a great investment that was russell rivets smoke pours out hey it's me you know what i do give me a big smooch see how good of a kisser i am okay time machine i love this lyrics hey what did i do can't believe the fit i just threw i just wanted the reaction and i gotta say when my wife and i first got married we got into a fight and i just said something so nasty to her in the fight she was like you're just saying that

[64:02]hurt my feelings and i go yeah no shit we're having a fight what are you talking about and i was and she's like nobody does that and i was like oh okay like you learned about your family you know you're like oh okay i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it so you don't just say the nastiest things you've been thinking about for years to somebody to end the fight interesting interesting once again learning a lot about how ron was raised well i'm gonna turn off the music for this part but yeah i told you that story that one time of my mom got mad at me he goes oh your big fat girlfriend then she goes oh no i was putting the hand did not tell us like rob did like oh yeah miss teapot thing where he was like oh yeah his body was moving back oh i'm getting rid of this because it's i i will this will not but my mom did that and i was like oh and we were like having a fight about like doing my homework on a sunday she's like oh you're gonna talk to your big fat girlfriend i was like fuck mom everybody knows she's a fat girlfriend but we are ignoring that okay yeah that's gonna be ignored that can't be it someone addressing that is like you know what the problem was

[65:04]insulting thing okay i'm gonna i'm gonna read you the pros about this girlfriend and the cons okay pros ankles went behind her head crazy okay changed my life okay that's the it's the first person i had sex with and remember the first time i had sex i used a brown condom which is a crazy when you're using a brown condom and it looks like a tootsie roll it is the least erotic color of condom is brown brown colored condom it's like i got a free condom at st olaf this is gonna be remembered as the brown condom episode i'll start typing that up right now i'll never forget because i was also listening to the beef and vigo show at the same time so when i lost my virginity this would be a st olaf radio show st olaf radio show yes st olaf radio show of two guys i played football with wild thing to lose your virginity even vigo just wild crazy where could you were you were you like

[66:05]tracking the the show while you were you were doing it or not i must have been knowing me i was probably oh what's going on i mean i could have been playing when doves cry i had a million ideas growing up with that first song okay it was the beef and vigo show the next song is love kills i don't think we can do this song love kills we can't do this song right now just skip it we can't do this song i like this song don't go miss my love this is the lead single from body talk to hang with me you guys have an all-time best hang that you remember yeah first time in las vegas day drinking a margarita that that was an all-time hang i remember uh after homecoming one time actually with an ex-girlfriend that i should tell you guys about sometime uh i remember that a bunch of bros we just played james bond all night

[67:01]ignored the women we were with and just played james bond i still remember that as an all-time hang mine would be arb stock one of the years where we went over to carlton and yeah it wasn't it wasn't one of the ones where i almost got in the fight during sugar hill gang it was actually matt you may appreciate this a bunch of us went and sat down the first baseline for a carlton saint olaf baseball game it was kind of almost all the people were our class it was like everyone even if you weren't really good friends with everyone it just felt like a community sitting down the baseline we've been in the school together for like four years there's probably like 75 people sitting on the baseline and i just remember being that being my best hang oh what a hang that's one of the reasons i do love vegas vegas is one of the few times where i'm like this is gonna be a great hang like i just don't get great hang because it's always like it's friends i have like my wife and i listen i love my wife it's not a great hang you know what i mean we're thinking about what time we're going to bed okay i'm tracking my macros so much he's gonna have to delete from this i know right it's okay

[68:04]jenny doesn't listen yeah oh yeah jenny listens please i told her i was like can i do a song about shaving pubes in the shower she's like man because originally that song was about her doing this is too i can't do a whole song about this it's too weird you know this is where rob is like so intriguing to me like he did the he did the matt glory hole thing he could have easily just put himself in the song and then he would have and then he could have there would have never been a question about deleting it listen i haven't done a song about matt for a while yeah i had that written on my topics there we go it's hard to make a respectful song about a glory hole i'll tell you that right now call your girlfriend this is a song where a girl advises a guy how to break up with his girlfriend so he can date her oh is that hot oh that's hot as hell yeah it's a great song and then there was the there was the whole youtube

[69:03]phenomenon of people doing this with the cups which is another fun little what does that mean what erin explain more i don't know what you're talking about where you uh people would do it with the rhythm from just play play it on cups but just done with stacking cups and i feel like there's like a whole youtube genre of people doing songs with that but this one uh i think errata was the name of the swedish band that covered it and they just do it with cups you know my dad said that he he loved spanish cups i was like what do you mean he goes i only do c cups all right none of them d cups uh we danced to the beat i gotta admit guys at this point genius started running out of things about the songs well i got something about the song it's a fairly long situation yeah you know

[70:00]you know you guys were talking about her being a swedish artist i thought we could do a quick celebration of the greatest bands ever from sweden oh wow wow oh sorry so slow it's it's it's i love it i think they're from sweden if they're not they're from some indonevian country oh no you've gone from so good sir just remember russell oh okay if meatballs they love then sweden's the country just just picture all these bands putting together furniture and just yelling at their spouses fucking hand me the allen wrench you know what i mean there's nowhere like uh ikea to get in a fight with your spouse and it's designed that way where you have to walk through the whole thing trap you you're stuck oh my god oh you're it's ikea you're just stuck and oh i want i want windows where i

[71:01]can see my plates and cups what the fuck are you talking about you're putting windows on the cabinets where you can see your plates that's insane to me you know what no one loves at the end of like a stressful situation like that is going down there and having to like go through a warehouse and find where fucking rosewood is and i'm like oh my god i don't know what i'm talking about g75 is and then and then we've got to figure out how we're gonna drag this huge box into some cart that it doesn't really fit get it up get it through there and then we got to assemble that shit when you get home i say no thank you but the problem is russell is that you go there it's like 70 you go anywhere else and it's like oh this is 750 you're like what the fuck it's a bedside table why does it cost that much this is insane because they don't have to go through buying this at ikea and assembling you guys uh worth it you guys notice it's pretty quiet during this whole conversation rosie because he's never been to ikea because he only buys eight thousand dollar chairs he doesn't waste his time on that shit for that matt can i just say this okay i'm giving you a gold medal

[72:04]for that joke congratulations man that was the joke of the night hey we might be in the olympics when this comes out this is perfect timing wow all right i love my favorite thing about the olympics is how did you guys see how they put in cardboard beds so they wouldn't fuck so much all right oh i never had that issue oh yeah they oh guys look it up the beds at the olympic village it's so they don't have so much sex because you got to admit if you were like hey let's hook up what do you do and she's like oh i do the pommel horse yeah i think there's like famously there's a lot of sex in the olympic village right yeah because a lot of those people are there with nothing to do for a long time oh they've been training for months and months and months and their event is over and they're loose oh hey i got with shack you'll never guess what happened sorry russell go ahead no the robin was dancing to the beat one of the the i think the premier swedish band ever it's got to be abba

[73:02]it's dancing queen right gotta be yeah wow russell is this song about a fuck fast fan not this one i believe that was a gimme gimme gimme something after midnight all right god i've heard this song a million times in my life it's still the banger this was a win amp it really whips the llama's ass this was uh the ladies have killed all halls certainly had this on their win amp play yeah great song next song on the list this is roxette it must have been love oh wow pretty woman soundtrack i believe wow wow and roxette is this song about a fuck fast fan of mine i think this is a gimme gimme gimme it's the name of the band and not the person right it's one of these like i think you're right but there is like a lead singer that you could see being called roxette right when i was watching the video what i didn't get is remember when roxette had that long nose and would help people with

[74:00]their love life never seen it oh my god maria maria and pear maria and pear make up the band roxette wow there is no maria blade but yeah rob hot take i've only seen i believe two steve martin movies father of the bride and parenthood i don't think i've ever seen another steve you haven't seen three amigos are you fucking serious right now maybe once when i was really all right amigos amigos amigos i mean come on nothing russell you would love i gotta tell you right now you would love my three amigos it's a movie i could see you just being so happy watching my three amigos i'm gonna tell you right now i would also be super happy listening to ace of bass it's the sign there for you from sweden yeah this is a great song right this is so good ace of bass you know it's kind of a joke when we were growing up but guess what we had the cd at my house and guess what we fucking played it because it was a banger like nickelback it was you just combine this with the tromba wamba you've got yourself a party

[75:05]all right next up on the list this is you look up spotify downloads for this i believe it's avici is it avici i don't know how to pronounce it wake me up check this one out i was hoping yeah i was hoping you'd be able to pronounce it yeah i do not know it's avici avici there you go matt i don't know i heard a little bit of uh robin with this maybe i don't know it's like raw tuna it's like raw fish wait no this like dance music crossed with mumford and tens to me yeah in a way yeah this is the house music that i like you like this is what i think about and i hear robin you hear this and then we go back to robin and robin just sounds so yeah it doesn't have as many phases like the faders cut in and out the lows like this one has yeah i mean because that's this is what it's at though yeah this is good next one on the list the bj that's what i was thinking it's the cardigans love fool aaron didn't laugh at my ceviche joke i believe you guys

[76:04]remember this one figure it out oh i did not know the name of this song this song guys can i tell you a secret every time i hear this song i think about that house that i had that lunch at that one time it is a poor memory in my head did she make you say this to her beforehand or not and that's the kind of shit when you're on summer break where you think about that house you're like all right here we go round three you know what i mean all right one honorable mention before we get to the last one europe was sweden the final countdown wow but the last one on the list and the reason i bring this one up there's there's a video for it but also i heard robin when i heard this song this is what i thought of i believe it's eric purds prids call on me do you guys know this one check this out yeah all right so when i was listening to this album robin today i thought of this song and i

[77:06]went and looked it up this dj or whatever is from sweden so there's gotta be some sort of connection right yeah have you guys seen the video for this no no rob i'm about to do this this is my my gift to you if you pull up the wow oh i saw this at a bowling alley once they like like where they show okay where they show movies like up on the back wall okay yeah rob you were gonna love this the link is purple oh my god russell this is the hottest video i've ever seen in my life this is way better than all those mariah carey videos you used to watch so rob if we if we what folks at home you need to go see this video now it will make you jack off it's essentially a video remind me to watch eric

[78:04]pride's video in 30 minutes it's like we're kind of watching porn together scantily clad beautiful people dancing in like an ostracized room is that wow that's a thrusting this is combining a lot of fetishes for me at once i'm not gonna lie is this the greatest video ever oh you saw this at a bowling alley they were playing it like it was like midnight you know midnight bowling or whatever they where the lights are all out and they had this video was playing and i was like this is the wildest thing i've ever seen i want you to watch this video and think of russell at a bowling alley russell why are you taking that ball into the bathroom look at rob's face right now just like every every shot of the video just sending him to another level jared he was at the ball i just i can't get over your reactions to this video i well i mean oh i just you know what i'm not even it's not listen the

[79:06]video is titillating of course it's the definition of titillating okay but i'm just gonna tell you right now i am going to put the loop mode on and loop 10 times uh here's the thing it's a plug-in i have by the way to loop youtube videos here's the thing i am picturing a young russell watching instead of movie theater and just like bowling alley and just be like russell it's your turn to bowl it's your turn to bowl it's like no that's good it's like what good huh like everybody's just throwing gutter balls i swear these pants bunch up there all the time right oh goodness gracious rob the fact i was shocked i thought for sure you would know this this video oh this i this is kind of changing my life i feel like i'm now getting dumber i mean born again i'm picturing like russell putting one of those wrist braces over his penis during the song you know i mean like the bully all right so that that you know it's a crazy video but i heard that robin album when you

[80:05]that's like a catchy song isn't it it's so good russell so those were the those were the best musicians or bands from sweden i mean if you could listen to that song and not pump your fist by russell you're a stronger man than me get a hold of yourself and you can pump your fist watching the video too in a different direction now um listen you're not gonna laugh at that aaron i don't even know who you are we need to clean up on we need to clean up on aisle 10 we need to clean up in the water on aisle 10 i perhaps sometimes a joke can just stand on and the listeners can be laughing along with us it doesn't have to be me telling them to laugh you are totally wrong we dance to the beat now now russell did you say europe is a swedish band i don't think it's in europe is it sweden's not in the eu that's crazy although i guess the band asia is probably from the u.s right i'm gonna think about

[81:04]it where's kansas from what about swedish house mafia i don't know you should know better guys you know what would make this album better fucking snoop dog snoop this guy on it there we go other swedish band that didn't make the list eagle eye cherry remember them save the night save tonight yeah wow that song was like that one man i love i love that song now listen to snoop i'm gonna fast forward a little bit snoop come in listen to this i love snoop over this you could not think of something more opposite than snoop's flow right the beats per minute are so much higher than what he was usually doing listen to this this is where for me though he's overseas getting cheese we've got a we've got a snoop cameo on the list of greatest albums ever before we're here in doggy style really yes yep i agree there

[82:01]good point dance hall queen this came from them talking about ace of dave russell there's obviously a lot of influence between the music here oh yeah coming from sweden right well i think swedish i mean sweden is such a big techno for some reason they love techno for this kind of electronic dance music this is kind of a reggae beat to it rob i feel like you and i maybe enjoyed this the most i did hit about the 35 minute mark where i was like i've heard the same beat like i'm gonna i'm gonna go crazy if i keep hearing that drum machine or whatever right i don't know russell we should but if you had like flashing lights in a club i feel like i could listen to this all yeah i'm not i'm not sure how well the whole thing holds up as an album so for it to be i mean we're gonna do rolling gun later i'm gonna do rating system later yeah it just feels like i'm not sure how it holds up as an album yeah i have to admit if

[83:02]you notice it by this point i have no notes because i was kind of like okay it's a lot of tracks man so and finally stars forever guys kind of clever kind of a fun album and it literally is you could not pick a more opposite album than the songs of leonard cohen talk about a mashup nobody asked for you listen stars are forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast unfortunately we need to talk about stars forever but not this podcast great transition rob great transition thank you great transition rob great transition thank you great transition rob great transition thank you and popular and patented the show and popular and patented the show and popular and patented the show the pandemic and very popular beck did it the pandemic and very popular beck did it the pandemic and very popular beck did it better rating system better rating system better rating system oh yeah listen am i gonna rush to this oh yeah listen am i gonna rush to this oh yeah listen am i gonna rush to this part just because i want to watch that part just because i want to watch that part just because i want to watch that video again later video again later video again later it's a good video isn't it it's a good video isn't it robin body talk okay it's banging

[84:03]robin body talk okay it's banging robin body talk okay it's banging it's swedish okay the beats it's a fun it's swedish okay the beats it's a fun it's swedish okay the beats it's a fun listen listen listen it's kind of all the same where does that it's kind of all the same where does that it's kind of all the same where does that put it is this at 196 put it is this at 196 put it is this at 196 okay we haven't had much electronic music okay we haven't had much electronic music okay we haven't had much electronic music right this definitely there's something right this definitely there's something right this definitely there's something going on here 196 what do you think going on here 196 what do you think going on here 196 what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling groan okay rolling groan is we rolling groan okay rolling groan is we rolling groan okay rolling groan is we didn't like it should be lower on the didn't like it should be lower on the didn't like it should be lower on the list list list okay maybe 200 205 okay or in a year okay maybe 200 205 okay or in a year okay maybe 200 205 okay or in a year from now from now from now when we're doing 142 146 or whatever oh when we're doing 142 146 or whatever oh when we're doing 142 146 or whatever oh my god my god my god all right or is this a rolling well all right or is this a rolling well all right or is this a rolling well toned hey let's say you're in a workout toned hey let's say you're in a workout toned hey let's say you're in a workout class class class okay you're in a workout class and okay you're in a workout class and okay you're in a workout class and you're doing a workout and it's actually you're doing a workout and it's actually you're doing a workout and it's actually quite sexy and it's fun to watch you quite sexy and it's fun to watch you quite sexy and it's fun to watch you would be rolling well toned would be rolling well toned would be rolling well toned and maybe rolling boned okay which means and maybe rolling boned okay which means and maybe rolling boned okay which means that this should not have been that this should not have been this low on the list. We should have had it much earlier, Rolling Bone. I don't even know anymore. Russell, what do you think? Rolling Bone or Rolling Grown?

[85:00]Robin, body talk. You know what I think? If I were to go back and had a chance to buy this album, I think I would complimentary album guy this album. I would take this out of a store. I don't think I would have paid for it. I think it's super catchy. It's super fun. I don't think it has any business big this high on the list. So I'm going to say it's Rolling Grown, but I did really enjoy listening to it for 20, 30 minutes. But there are too many huge influential bands and artists that we haven't heard yet. This can't be this high on the list. Although I would probably go back and listen to it again for a half hour and have a big smile on my face the whole time. Matt, Rolling Well-Toned, Rolling Bone, or Rolling Grown? I'm going along the lines of Russell. I think this is Rolling Grown. It should be lower on the list. I'm trying to figure out why it's so high. Like... It's usually... A lot of these other albums where we have like random countries or random genres or something like that, you can tell it was like a leading album

[86:00]or it came before everything else or had all this influence and everything. And it feels... I just don't hear any new influence on this one. It feels like all the house music was that early and maybe this is the house music making it into popular. Could you say like David Guetta? You know what I mean? Or like a kind of a Kesha thing? Coming out of this? I mean, because this sounds a lot like the music I listen to working out on my Kesha Pandora station. It's all I listen to when I'm lifting weights. And I hear a lot of beats like this. I don't know. Yeah. So when did this come out? When did... Yeah, you know, like, I mean like... Yeah, I think it's the same time. If this was like 2003, like maybe then, but it feels like it's all coming out at the same time. So, I don't know. I just... I probably just need to do a little more research, but we promised to do no research. Yeah, he broke through in 2009. So you're totally right. It's... Yeah. It's just that I'm... I'm old. Yeah. All right. So rolling, rolling, groan. Should be lower on the list. Aaron, what are you doing? Are we in the hand-holding club here? Everybody's agreeing? I think it's hard to figure out where...

[87:01]How dance music fits into an album list because a lot of dance music wasn't created in album form necessarily. These were songs that would have been played in a club and didn't necessarily exist as an album. But I think we've only had two really in Renaissance and this one. Renaissance, obviously much higher, but I... I think Beyonce interpolates a Robin song on Renaissance. So Renaissance derivative of this, this clearly derivative of all of dance music up until 2010. So it's odd to me that in other genres, Rolling Stone seems to really prioritize the early stuff, the influences, the fine things that people were using. And then with dance music, they've gotten these two more recent examples and we don't have anything from earlier than that. So... Would you put Madonna in the list? Yeah, I guess Madonna would be too. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It kind of feels like this is... Like Madonna was the ultimate birth of,

[88:00]you know, where Robin's going here, but... Probably, yeah. But I mean, you know, Donna Summer was before that and probably something before that. So I don't quite understand, same with you guys, why this would be as high as it is. For me, it's just got the two great songs and the rest of it, I can kind of leave it. So I'm going to give it a rolling ground. Guys, unfortunately, you're incorrect. Shit. This gets a rolling... Around the world. What? Because the question is, where is Daft Punk? He's not even trying anymore. No. He doesn't even try anymore. Around the world. World. How is this album ahead of Daft Punk Discovery? 2001 Daft Punk. You got to say that's a bigger influence on everything. 2001 Daft Punk. That album should be light years ahead of this one. 100%. I don't ever get to give my true opinion, but there it is. Okay. However, I do love this music. It's fun to listen to. You know what? When I hear the bass, it makes me want to grab onto somebody, and I call that move the Kent Herbeck. The Kent Herbeck. All right, next up. Great play by me.

[89:00]I'm going to put myself on the back. Next up, the album that inspired a porno... Oh, I can't believe I wrote this joke. I want to apologize. Listen, to my relatives who are playing this at my funeral, per my request, I apologize for this last bit. Okay? But I don't apologize for making you sit there. Okay? I was a great guy. Sit there and fucking listen to an episode. I'll download it, please. Next up, the album that inspired a parody porno. A parody porno? I would say it's a porno parody, right? Parody... Porno parody that I produced. The album that inspired a parody porno that I produced starring... And here's who starred in this porno parody, Aaron. Are you ready for this? I'm ready for the porno parody. Ringo Brown star. Oh, God. Gorge on that hairy fun. Oh, no. That's a good one. Long butt John Lennon. And pull my cock, please. That was a tough one. That was a tough one. It's Meet the Beatles by the Beatles. Oh, God. We got... What? When you want to hear about

[90:00]the greatest album of all time. Guys, Meet the Beatles. Oh. That's a... M-E-A-T-E-S. All right, I'm gonna go. In a hypothetical world where, like, the first 194 albums didn't exist, you can't tell me this Robin album is the greatest album ever. I see a world where you could say the Meet the Beatles is, for some reason, right? Back to the... Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm not looking forward to listening to that one. Can I tell you... Here's some songs that I have because my parody porno is a bunch of songs. First song, Why Don't We Do It in the Road. Okay, that's the first chapter. Second, Fixing a Hole. And then Maxwell's Grey Hammer. That's a... That's the ending part. Bang, bang. Maxwell's... We did Abbey Road already, right? Guys, don't ask me about the parody of Octopus's Garden. Robin, one other thing I needed to know for you guys. I dropped that lemon and it's starting to look like an Agent Orange down there. Too bad I've never AMA'd Ask Matt anything

[91:01]about whether he's heard of Sir Isaac Newton. Jesus Christ, that was... You talked about all that stuff this episode? Sorry, just so I was raised, Rob. Meanwhile, you want to hear my ending joke I have? Let's hear it. Bring it. That I forgot to say earlier? I think a good nickname would have been Mary Todd the Bod. What? Talk to me, Mary Todd the... Mary Todd the Bod Lincoln. We're doing Abe Lincoln jokes? Yeah. Remember earlier in the hat bit? Might have gotten edited out. I still don't understand that one. She was quite titillating, right? Mary Todd... That's why she was Mary Todd the Bod. Mary Todd the Bod.