The B-52’s: The B-52’s (1979)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts we promise to do almost no research all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy becca did it better we are all the way up to album 198 and from 1979 almost 40 through yeah it's crazy this is one of the first albums we've done that i could have been conceived to what i mean you ever do that where you like go back and you figure out the month where your parents deep dicked oh i always wonder why i always wonder why my parents laugh when i always said happy new year you know what i mean that's this is the side of like a very self-centered person when they think that they they can't get it past like their fourth birthday they're like i want to go back to year zero this might be mine i want to go damn conception of me yeah hey your mom and i loved victory in europe day it's one of our favorite days it was after an

[01:03]episode of bash oh the disco balls were flowing nothing gets me more going than an episode of mash one of the classically sexiest shows oh my god oh my god oh my god all right let's get right to let's go and turn on the radio and see now listen guys we don't always have to cover songs that are on the album okay sometimes we turn on the radio and it's actually songs that are not on the album okay but let's see what's on today it's we never know what's on what's up everybody welcome to k-rob k-r-o-b you know today you gotta go into the mind of rob we're in the show for about an hour and 15 minutes and things are slowing down i've gotta make a joke what's it gonna be oh wait i know oh yeah when the show is getting slow i need to make a joke so i'll start talking about my but they still seem to get in the way we're doing the show we're running out of jokes

[02:24]so that's when i'll mention the nut sack i don't get why some are so much darker it looks like they're covered in a dark brown marker to make this show go better nut sacks nut sacks funny it's a great gag for a funny joke we just bring up your screen baby they make you laugh

[03:00]nuts baby they're a great gag yeah rob says it's your family jewels but i use the term well they look so whack why do they make me laugh it's like a hairy backpack what do they look like they are kind of a sad mess they smell like old hay hey they need lots of support but they're funny anyway the nut sack is a reliable joke to make the show go better nut sack baby they make you laugh you're being bagged it's a great gag for a funny joke you just bring up your strokes i'll be making these jokes i'm a hundred years old all right there we go

[04:00]robby matt's too tired otherwise i'd say you run that shit back that was that was maybe what my favorite one you've ever done it's a good one i like the idea that rob's probably had this album circled on his calendar for like 198 weeks he's like i'm gonna do the nut sack song i know i've thought of this listen to the album and said wait where is love shack why is it on this album that is actually more true than you would possibly imagine that i was so disappointed not to see love's tag i was like okay rock lobster something about nuts all right this doesn't make sense to me it's not coming together that song i did right in a couple seconds and for the people that don't know rob this was one of your favorite the nut sack song whatever love shack was one of your favorite karaoke songs in college was it not a hundred percent i think it was your number one yeah a nut sack baby i still do it all the time with my wife and in fact i wanted her to have to i wanted her to do a bit on that song i ran out of time because

[05:00]she is totally tone deaf she can't hit a tone she cannot sing a note she's terrible so i'll do love shack with her and she is so ridiculously bad at singing that is a great bit that i'm out there doing the whole fred schneider voice because you're expecting a real singer when she's like love shock when she can't hit that note it is so funny to me every single time of course that is the song that we were singing when the guy in the cruise had his bare feet up on the couch and goes oh you can't sing and she said into the microphone you gross motherfucker get your bare feet off your couch into the microphone to a room of 100 not a proportionate response is so but also good for her for taking it there listen we are talking about the b-52s we are talking about the b-52s we are the album the b-52s which does not have love shack on it but i've got four guys here who have a bad case of rock crabs what rock crabs would it be better if it was rock pubic lice i think that'd

[06:03]be a better name for it i've got matt minneapolis matt how are you doing uh good rob put on your nose guard put on the lifeguard pass the tanning butter oh how can you not love this album i've got russell in minneapolis russell how are you doing tonight rob we were at the beach we were wearing our matching towels you went under the dock and you saw a rock it wasn't a rock it was my rock lobster oh my god get down there check it out rock lobster uh and i've got stay away from my crustacean will ya aaron was telling us that earlier you know a while ago he was dating a girl but she dumped him i guess she said you know aaron you keep acting like you're a detective we need to we need to we're it's done we need to split up a big little fan yeah yeah he thought he was a detective and the girl said we got to break up and he goes good idea cover more ground that way uh i've got aaron california how are you doing jerking motions won't revive him let's talk about i saw that too and i thought of me

[07:07]uh all right let's get right into the voicemail can i we give her voicemail there's we need they need a warning what's that we're like five weeks behind when rob when we get a voicemail from when rob plays it and we record probably four weeks before you're going to hear this so literally the person who sent us a voicemail three months ago is probably just hearing it now is that right stay tuned in somewhat accurate yeah probably i mean i'm sure i've missed one or two too they might be there they can always call leave the same thing again but yeah i noticed yeah i would say after this voicemail i do not know of any voicemails that exist in the world i don't know if there's any in the world i don't know if there's any in the world yeah i don't know if there's any in the world yeah i don't know if there's any in the world i don't know if there's any in the world we're like really okay do you guys drive to e or not what we're i bet matt's a quarter full guy what do you guys fill up at i i'm much i'd like to fill up at like a quarter to a half but i'm

[08:04]much more of like on tuesdays i take kids to karate and then i go get gas and then i go through the car wash and then i get my dry cleaning and so i usually just try to make it to tuesday and they were about a tuesday that's smart rob you don't have a car do you no but i was a turn when the light comes on guy i'd push it i mean that might shock you i'd push it or whenever i wanted three macadamia nut cookies i think you get a better deal if you do three you gotta spend money to make money russell that's what i'm saying try to explain this to your nutritionist rob what's the most amount of cookies you've ever bought like where you were like man this is going to be i can't look this person in the eye when i'm buying oh i bought two packs of oreos last night because once again the oreos okay i'm just gonna say this this is a fucking scam that nabisco is doing the oreos were i mean tell me this doesn't activate your dad mode the oreos were six i think it was seven dollars for two packs or 579 for one what am i supposed

[09:04]to do yeah you gotta do too right how can i not but i can tell you when you're walking out of the store with two packs and you look like me you're getting a lot of judgments okay i like i like put a zimpic box to try to hide it i'm like nope just so it's epic don't look at here as i got a doctor's appointment next week i'm gonna get on that shit i'm gonna be so fucking jacked oh my god what why oh first thing i'm gonna do look at my dick just wait aaron hey oh my god i'm gonna start a new family so fast oh i can hardly wait it'd be great first thing i'm gonna do is look at my dick that's a good joke like we go to vegas next january and rob shows up and he's like he's like he's like 170 oh my god just real ass then what would you guys i'm gonna be so busy sending but can you imagine guys if i got cum gutters how fast i would send

[10:05]that picture of you holy shit i would be doing the d'angelo album cover because i'm juiced i got muscles i just gotta get rid of all this other shit i'm gonna take these shots nobody cares i'm just gonna be fucking juiced up i can hardly wait you probably look bigger in certain areas too wouldn't you oh my god it is it's like the it's like forced perspectives it's like lord of the rings speaking yeah yeah right now i'm a frodo about to be a gandalf the gray wizard when the hawks steal frodo and then stick him in the nest at the end of the first movie that's what my penis looks like right now i gotta be doing a gandalf the gray that should be my goal if i'm lucky one of those tree things the ants thank you hold it it's gonna be great hardly wait stupid family holding me down wait till i'm jacked with my cum gutters i'll be unstoppable like a jack godzilla oh wow oh guess who's jacking off

[11:04]in the mirror now me baby me you can at least get one a-rod picture of you like a centaur rob oh my god because right now if i was a centaur i would tip over forward i think is the problem at what point would your wife become concerned rob like what's the number where she's like oh my god something's i'm in trouble where she would have to like change the way she treats you like you get to 2 219 and she's like oh fuck you talking about my wife respecting me is turning me on more than anything else i've said oh honey let me look at that body oh my god i would love to hear that oh that fungal thing is cleared up oh my god sign me up i might need to see the booty what that was the guy the maroon five guy when his sexy text to the lady oh the maroon five guy no you're gonna be able to you're gonna be able to cut that right rob

[12:04]i am gonna buy that ass a steak dinner that's a kind of shit you can say aaron when you're a skinny jack guy you can send that tick text along with your dick next to a shampoo bottle and people are like oh great rob remembers rob you know what else you you know what else you could do if you got skinny and jack what's up you can you know what you could do if you make you say anything you get a tattoo or two you can say anything you want that's it that's it finally it would be embarrassing if you got a tattoo with cum gutters and then arrows then you got fat again you're like well can i cover this up with a uh tribal band please wait you want me to cover it up with a tribal band it's crazy there's like some some folds you gotta get through in there to get a tattoo like a championship belt at that point then you just go all across the championship belt heavyweights or middle middleweights scratch someone out there heavyweight championship belt tattoo that would hurt all right we're looking right now let's just

[13:02]check real quick before we go to the next one to get to this voicemail championship belt tattoo all right yeah 100 you are you are correct it's right there world champion way into the belly button that has got to be a long and that's for for john that's out there this is the winged eagle title this is the this is the title that hogan the warrior bret hart had and i believe at some point one of the wings on the winged eagle title broke off wow wow so but man if you're gonna go with if you're gonna go with the title would you go with the winged eagle or the rick flair the 12 pounds of gold i would do the tag team and be like oh yeah the other guy didn't show up i mean that is such commitment because that had to man i had to hurt had to be a lot of sessions look at this on the back they have the strap on the back like were you actually really yeah it's so good wow now i like this one where they got the championship but it's a watch it's the belt but it's we're

[14:01]watching i think that'd be kind of fun you know if you break enough laws and uh do some really bad things and then you just kind of confined to your house you also get a belt around your ankle well i told you that one time where that guy had to pick up basketball in vermont when i was playing against the captain what's his name i'm the captain now i also played against a guy who was wearing an ankle police bracelet he was wearing one of those he beat the piss out of me I had to guard him he beat me like a dog but you know what i felt like the real winner i was like hey you want to go get a drink you want to go get a drink afterwards he's like all right let's slushy after this no okay let's hey i'm gonna go anywhere i want including over state lines how about you rob what what else would change about your life like like next school year you walk in oh 210 jacked what are your how do your students step one quit my job as a teacher okay i am now a model or something i don't know what skinny people do it's gonna be awesome i can't really wait i'll tell you what i'm gonna do russell ride some

[15:01]roller coasters and not be stressed the whole time i'm in line it's gonna be awesome but i'm gonna die it's gonna be great the belt doesn't quite come down all the way right finally i can sit on my wife's face well i mean like finally what you see me step on the scale yes she looks oh no i promised him okay don't make me play the intro song again if it isn't the bridge i said i crossed when i came to it all right let's play the voicemail uh yeah i was just wondering when that uh dvd tournament's gonna get going again oh this is not russ wow not russell russell we have people wondering when is the dvd gonna be welcome to k-rob everybody k-r-o-b listen the other week these are all my dvds russell's gonna keep and the number one question we got is number 18 you morons we said listen please i forgot this song to make a decision and it's hard did i play this before

[16:06]for me to do which dvd yeah i can only hold on to five oh well i know that i need more space and now which which one should go they're alphabetized that's how we set up the tourney so don't ask why they're ranked so strangely let's decide half of them will be gone it's alphabetized so if it starts with a number one so don't complain about how the ranking was done god i cannot remember making that song to save my life it must have been when we did the uh buck cherry album the buck cherry on the list you mean eagle eye cherry eagle eye cherry nailed it take your take your headphones off

[17:03]they were different matt and aaron do you think um rob's parody songs would be better if he was skinny and jacked or not i mean can you imagine how much better it opens up so many possibilities whatever is going to get him to uh quit his job as a teacher and actually do like stand-up comedy and be a writer and stuff like that that's that's all i care about like he's he could live his full potential then rob you can come back i can tell you guys you know the first thing i'm going to get when i uh become jacked pubic lice you don't have to lie about those peloton seats anymore honey i was fucking a girl from work i don't even have to lie about it anymore oh we're into the final four of the dbd tournament the final four of the dbd tournament this week is featuring our comedy region versus the action region it's dumb and dumber versus

[18:05]kill bill in a shocker kill bill made it to the final four oh you know what you guys know what though i'm gonna let you guys have your opinions we are only going to the listener votes to get to the final so i'll let you guys give your influence if you want but your votes are not going to count when we hit the final four but if you guys are going to get to the final four you're going to you guys vote stick count if you guys knew how to vote online what do you vote for dumb and dumber or kill bill the landslide dumb and dumb dumb and dumber all day sir i think the dvd you want to vote for is back that way there's a town about five miles back you should be picking dumb and dumber okay realize what you've done you idiot it's it's such a great movie you need to be picking dumb and dumber i just i feel like i would i feel like i would keep kill bill like and that's the one i would choose to watch i'm not trying to i think that's all i mean

[19:01]it's a really hard choice though you know why it's because they're all that foot stuff in it aaron has a brother in arms they go to this and punching out of the grave come on listen kill bill has a bunch of feet in it so you know aaron loves it and it has what's his name who's the kung fu guy david keratin he's not until the end till the end though well in fact he might not mean much at all i know i know which i know yeah i got it i checked off with a belt and died again for a skinny guy to do that blows my mind what do you do uh he died jacking off with a belt around his neck russell i wish you wouldn't have asked that yeah i think he had some predilections sometimes that bowl of lemons and limes comes in handy oh you gotta put you're right russell that's what we learned you gotta put the lemon in your mouth so it wakes you up right at the last moment all right so you guys it sounds like two for one for

[20:03]you guys i'm writing the sotomayor long descent on this one yeah all right so we'll see what the voters rob you're gonna have to put this out for a vote one of these days i'm getting in my rv and driving away and the next regional this is a tough one it's kind of unfortunate rob didn't play this when i put wild thing as one of the songs on the list last week but why would you think to put that together i guess it's the the best dvd from the sports region major league versus the best movie from the drama region it's the godfather wow major league versus the god it's not what's the best movie it's what's the best dvd best dvd we're not talking film here we're talking dvds talking song big ball uh the godfather the godfather for me definitely the godfather i haven't seen the godfather in a while so i am

[21:01]gonna have to say fuck you joe boo i am picking major league okay i think major league should continue the tournament guys you want to sit down and watch a movie you're really gonna watch the godfather over me absolutely oh would he leave the gun take the canola ones on tnt and ones on tbs you stick with the god you stick with the godfather that night absolutely i love major league though guys he drives the pitcher cart to her house and then pulls off her underwear with his cleats it's crazy i gotta keep major league too man i i i don't know i wow i can't believe it but that's that's the one i'm choosing if they're on two two channels at once you're good you guys votes have been cast we'll see what the vote it's gonna come down to our listeners this time guys so in like six weeks when we discuss this live again i mean we know it's written in the stars to have godfather versus dumb and dumber but i still feel like i would keep major league you know what i'm gonna do when i get jacked what's the lips at the park i'm gonna be down there banging out pull-ups

[22:02]at the park okay no no i don't think it's pull-ups i think it's sit-ups oh yeah i think it's because because like you you could go grab the bar you could do a couple pull-ups but there's no way you're going to the park and doing a sit-up no fucking way and then when somebody oh it's oh i i can do pull-ups now by the way just want to be clear i know i know but you gotta do if you're gonna pull up you can start doing the fancy pull-ups where you're like walking on air or you're like pulling all the way up to your nipples like you can start doing those listen i watch a lot of tiktoks of women working out in the gym to get form tips and stuff i cannot do those well then sometimes i write form tips in the comments here they appreciate it you're doing it wrong stuff like that they love it all right let's get into rolling going i'm just gonna say this listen the woman boss getting her clothes taken off was a major part of my sexuality growing up do with that

[23:05]not much i'm not gonna i'm not gonna do much and also wesley snipes was my accountant for a while so i think that's a good reason too okay not a great accountant uh matt rolling rolling's going how's it going with you what what if what if in college yes rob was skinny and jacked and it was like it was rob that rob like that's we we thought of as steve that steve like that's who he was i can tell you what i wouldn't be doing right now i would not be friends i would not be friends with you guys there's no way okay i would have been down at that hockey house oh great rob i got a song and i don't know what what is what what's the song name what's the uh artist so we just have to type it all in starburster fountains dc oh i don't remember i don't remember this song at all it's just what

[24:05]i've got so all right so it is fountains dc starburster is the song yeah uh i don't have much today i went golfing today it's kind of like the first full round of the year wow took friday morning off and what i figured out was that i was going to go golfing and i was going to go golfing i found out something russell's buddies the anti-movie guys no what did you call yourselves complimentary movie complimentary movie guys who decided to like get free golf and steal and stuff like rob the starters they've got new systems now i was asking the starter and the and the ranger what they've got and this blew my mind so you cannot go get free golf anymore what is going on with this song i don't is it like what's that you go like forward or something i don't know why there we go it's like an arcade player type deal yeah i don't know why i had i don't know if i found this on the the current or where i heard it or what but i just had it when i can cross it off

[25:01]what does that look like to you no i'm not the video it looks like an eye crying russell that's it okay all right not sure um so they all have ipads now so when you check in and you pay at the it's like an ultimate squirt erin erin man i'm listening i'm listening they got the things you check in they're like my kids they have ipads all the time you pay for your round you go to the starter he checks it off on his ipad that you're there and then the guy too much technology the guy drives around the ranger that's driving around also has the ipad so that he can see if you've started and what hole you should approximately be on so what about what about privacy what if you don't want people to know where you are they don't need to know your government name and where you are there's that because today uh as i was going back out to the after my round i was going back out to the parking lot there was four fire trucks and some people were pouring uh kitty litter on the ground

[26:01]around this white van thing because it was leaking gas and it was a cop he couldn't they could not find the person whose car it is because they wanted to know why is your car leaking gas and so they were all over trying to find it so but now they can find those people who they are so wow have you ever yeah crazy that have you ever been to like the gas station when they have a huge gas leak or somebody spills like gallons and gallons of gas god is it funny because you could just imagine like there's no reason that couldn't have been you oh yeah i'm gonna stop pumping gas while i go inside to buy up to three macadamia nut cookies sure yeah right fuck yeah i'm letting that shit pump i'm leaving my car running i'm letting that shit pump i'm going to the store i don't care if i live or die i need those macadamia cookies okay yeah i mean do you guys you guys pump with your car running no never wait i thought in the winter yeah all the time yeah the car's running while you guys are pumped yeah what are you scared oh that's that's just straight why it's gasoline in a gas tank why would it right why is it insane there's

[27:06]nothing that says you can't run your car well i never knew that that is a lie that moms everywhere don't listen to this i was in the car off i know aaron let that shit run okay if you feel like you tell you every every and i and i mean every city worker i've ever met in my life has that shit running while they're pumping gas in there yeah they're not going to get the ac they're not shutting that ac off in those and those vans while they're filling up in the summer aaron who do you trust more russell or a bunch of city workers that matt worked with okay for a whole summer i mean think about it matt i'm sure other things those city workers did are totally normal but after the car is running how are you ever going to get the gas tank full those are the guys that make a straight shots of yeah who are you going to trust the guys who make us drink the egg or the guy who drinks the egg matt matt if the city workers you worked with gave out bad life advice what would you say was the worst life advice you got from them like what's something they did where you could not

[28:01]recommend you like teach that to your kids or something the the biggest interesting character was a guy who i think we've talked about was a male stripper um nope can we talk about this we didn't talk about this definitely not booties on booty crews on kdwb's booty crews don't we talk about this we did talk about the booty crew yeah right i do not remember matt knew because he would show up to work and he'd be like hey you guys are he first of all he's dressed like a policeman he'd say hey you guys there's a noise complaint man would be like oh no are we being too loud the guy goes uh-uh you're not being loud enough boom hit the music take off the clothes come gutters let's go russell that's what i would do if i got jacked russell just picture this tattoos one night come gutters one night you're jacked okay and now you're and now you're professional stripper wouldn't that be awesome just like the idea that i could like waggle something around is this beyond what i'm capable of i know you could russell

[29:00]waggle something around you see i mean he was kind of like a like a lasso type i was thinking the other day if i went to the strip club now as an employed adult i might be in trouble i might just be like oh i don't care it's money i'll spend whatever i want and then you get down with that classic strip club feeling when you get done you're like what was any of that that was all a big waste of all my money except now it's much more money but you get more for that money right i assume i never do because i would always go to the strip club with the very cool idea of i'm gonna save as much money as i can all of a sudden i would go in there as like as like a banker like okay what's the interest i can get on this i'm not spending any of this if i go sit up front i just have to spend dollar bills at a time thinking rob how pissed would you be like next vegas you lose a bunch of weight and you get ripped yes you're sitting at the you're sitting at the the blackjack table with matt and aaron it's like four hours in you guys are drinking i roll up i'm skinnier and more ripped

[30:05]i gotta ask if this ozempic is gonna make me taller i might have to reject it if it doesn't have lengthening you know you can do the lengthening rob that might hurt your uh squatting lengthening lengthening but i would be taller than russell no i gotta think about that i don't know russell's very tall it's gonna take a lot to be tall he's as tall as all gogan rob roll it going how's it going with you uh listen i had a really depressing moment the other day okay and that is you know that i i lost my wallet couldn't find my wallet oh god the worst time i knew i had brought it home i had taken uh earlier mentioned nap on the couch and then i had to get up and go but i couldn't find my wallet so i used my phone to get through the subway so i knew the wallet was in the house could not find it days could not find it like four days able to use my

[31:04]phone to buy everything get on the subway how do you know what's in the house i just know i know i didn't take anywhere it's not in a it's not in my i mean i would know if i went because i'd use it for the subway i hadn't this is just straight crazy yeah so it's somewhere in the house if i and i could have i would lose my i can't find my gardening gloves both pairs i don't know where the fuck they are that is not the same fucking problem how dare you say that damn dude i'm so pissed off like and first of all they're in the fucking garage you know where they are they're in the goddamn garage they're not there it's both pairs you know what aaron they're always the last place you look that's right i just gotta keep looking and it'll be the last place you look your gardening gloves are either in your fucking garage or in the fucking garden they don't go anywhere else okay how dare you maybe that dog came over and grabbed him i'm concerned yeah i saw susan a couple weeks ago i'll ask her about it aaron goes out the worst you know aaron is when you're gardening and you have brand new gardening gloves everybody knows you're a fraud when they're bright white oh

[32:02]everybody knows it's just the worst they're so grippy still it's like oh this guy doesn't garden what a liar all of his all of his mallow blooms are eaten this guy sucks right he's a shitty garden disappeared overnight once can you hand me those gloves i'm working on this apricot trees over here what excuse me uh listen listen whatever it got to the point where i did buy apple air tags and a wallet holder so i'm gonna put an air tag in my wallet now will that hurt my ass when i sit down all the time you're still a back pocket wallet your wallet hold on hold on yeah your wallet an air tag you're not even gonna feel it with all that crap you've got in your wallet there's no way you have the biggest wallet of any adult i've ever that thing is six and a half inches thick look at that what is all the shit that's popping what is popping it's money let's there's like receipts that's not cash yeah there's that thing is all cash that's 785 dollars in like five dollar

[33:04]bills cash over there rob is this a new york thing because like i don't think i've used cash to buy anything in probably two to three years oh i had a cash problem today i'm gonna talk about 100 now first of all it is a new york thing because i do love to buy like a snack on the subway no no no people are buying selling stop what you can buy snacks on the subway yeah people are coming around selling like these people he's buying like he's buying like a bag of doritos from some like homeless guy what are we talking about exactly what i'm doing oh i'm sorry russell the woman with the baby on her back i'm not gonna buy some starburst i'm helping her russell trickle down economics and i get some starbursts you're buying snacks on the subway you're not like paying for the subway though with cash no but i also like no you can't i don't think you can but i like i like having the money because like my kids are asking for money or my wife is asking for money and i get to do the it's a gift from daddy bit you know that i think that's funny but where where do they go spend cat what do they

[34:04]use with i can't get with cash oh my well i got like concessions at the play today that our kids play that we went to like you know stuff like that they don't use like a card not it not like a theater community theater they're not gonna have card stuff venmo they're gonna have venmo right no they don't have venmo it's cash is king guys it's cat and you know what else it is russell you know what i got the other day pedicure hey gotta pay with cash gotta pay with cash for the pedicure that makes they charge you five percent plus i'm tipping in cash i don't trust i'm not giving a tip so i'm i'm love it i'm i'm flush with cash all the time i like i do like tipping with cash that's a good yeah now have you guys you guys have seen the front of my wallet of course i mean it's classic what is it can you what does this say oh it says bad motherfucker on it russell it is the i got i got a warning for you so rob's wallet is legit matt says six inches it's probably close it's you think this is six inches wide no thickest wallet i've ever seen i will say this rob

[35:06]next vegas 219 and jacked you cannot have a wallet that's that big great point it wouldn't work that's not gonna fit okay i'm gonna fit your persona first thing that's coming out pictures of my wife and kids okay gone out of there i don't have that much stuff that that wedding probably will slide right off too if you're when you get jacked like real real cut if you will it's weird i feel like it's a little bit of a cut but it's a little bit of a cut but it's a little bit of a cut i lost that i'm not putting an air tag on that it's so strange i was gonna say i never i've never seen you have a wedding ring on in vegas erin started that trend a few years ago it was a good move it's true erin's like guys let's take these off and see what happens and we're like i don't know erin i love and respect my wife uh so i i ended up finding my wallet and like matt said it wasn't the last place i looked it but here's the problem it you legit for four days you

[36:05]didn't know where it was yeah yeah oh my god yeah it's hey you wanted me to go cashless i did it no problem i found it in a backpack in the same pocket as a brand new and i did text you a picture of this the jumbo reese's peanut butter cup they have a new piece reese's peanut butter cup out that is as big as my hand it is huge it is like 500 calories it's the biggest thing it's the biggest peanut butter cup i've ever seen except for like those crazy big ones this was huge and my wallet was in a pocket and the only other thing in there was a jumbo reese's cup and i was like god damn i am the worst like to find those two things together you know what i mean it's just bad it's just bad news it were the cups panties supersized as well or like the cup or not i don't remember muscle now that i think about it i don't remember if the cup cups had full-size panties too maternity panties i don't know if they had maternity panties on this bad boy oh i gotta think about that

[37:05]you know what like it might have just came in the package without the without the well it's oh my chocolate is just touching the cardboard beneath it gross no thank you so anyway part of that was a wallet bit but part of that was there is a new candy out there it is a reese's peanut butter cup and my verdict not quite there again it's just a little off rob was was the candy in your backpack for four days or was just the wrapper the candy was that was the crazy thing you left it in there for four days well here's the thing here's this is like when aaron and his wife bought all the candy for the workers and it lasted like months yeah they didn't eat the candy they ate the other stuff here is the thing russell i just looked it up the reese's jumbo does not come with big panties oh see look at that wow it's just like me no panties on today okay it's but it's large it's a big and here's the thing russell they were

[38:00]selling them again one for three or like two for four so i had bought two i had eaten one and then it did kind of cross my mind like god i thought i bought a second one i wonder where that thing is i never thought about it again turns out it's right next to my wallet in something where if i died somebody would see that be like oh i get who this guy is right away aaron roland going how's it going with you aaron it's going great my latest youtube obsession is a foot doctor who does basketball shoe reviews and he actually cuts the shoes in half just so you can see that what the shoe looks like they're very good i've watched like six of them he did a whole thing about the like why rob rob we can we can go back to your guide i was not going to bring this up now are we cutting this in half like from the top like you'd cut a sandwich or we cut it in half like you would cut a like if you would like those pictures of the earth where you would like cut the earth in half so you can see all the letters aaron that doesn't help me at all i can go up or down or side to side it's the fucking same or like a mountain like if you're like oh we're

[39:02]gonna see the side of the mountain the shoe is on the ground from front to back the shoes on the back like the fucking back what are you talking about the shoes on the ground i hold the knife up and down yeah up and down so you can just go straight down the cross section of the sole of the shoes you can see like where's the carbon plating where's the foam where's the padding how's this thing work but it's not like from the side so your toes are all sticking out just half your toes are sticking out none of the toes it's like no it's like it's front to back like bisected so you can see the innards of the shoe it's all bisected aaron but what if it's front to back like you are being cut off or are you cutting like this or half your foot's being cut off yeah half your foot's being cut off all right that's what i thought so why are you arguing with me about this so aaron you're watching we're arguing yeah because i was trying to find some new basketball shoes so what are you deciding on i bought some dame certifieds because uh they were cheap and i this was sad though because i was like yep that i was actually bummed out because i i saw they were decent i'm only playing outdoors so i'm not playing indoors at all i needed some new shoes because i blew out

[40:02]my shoes chasing the young guy around i found out this kid was 22 the guy who was wearing what i talked to you about last week 22 years old that's gonna make you feel better it made me feel better except uh he's less than half your age aaron right aren't you like i was pretty close 44 okay all right yeah it could technically be less than half the next week the guy who is better than me who came back to be his matchup is like well older than i am so like i couldn't even use age as my as my excuse but yeah i needed some new shoes i read that the dame certified are a good outdoor shoe and especially for the price and i texted my brother i was like check out these shoes i'm stoked about and he was like yeah it's probably your last time to get some some dames too and then i felt sad man that's brutal that's a brutal response he wasn't even trying to be mean it was just like well yep time marches man like that's that's what's gonna happen honestly uncalled for he can't be saying this is your last time you know what aaron fuck him go buy 10 pairs of basketball shoes yeah that's what we do i'm gonna

[41:01]go buy 10 pairs of basketball shoes get on stock your brother was saying this is the last time to buy dame shoes because dame's gonna be out of the league right or is he telling you yeah yeah no yeah because dame's gonna be you know he's not telling you aaron that you're so old this would be yours no it was just it's not like when your parents are like 75 you're like yep get that last car better get a get a bit of reliable one no it was more that dame is gonna move on to the anta or whatever although antos are a highly respected shoe now i believe he also moved on from his wife i believe he was divorced recently aaron dame really oh man that's rough wow crazy jeez you moved to milwaukee and who knows what happens to you yeah you got skinny and jacked right rob you got skinny and jacked unfortunate drinking malorts and getting divorced i'll take some jardiner on that hot dog i had a cash problem today now that you mentioned it i went to go pick up my kid from i went to go pick wallace up from uh summer camp this is his last day at galileo camp and he waved me off he was like no dad i want to stay 30 more minutes wow uh which i'm

[42:05]you know like okay like if your kid's having fun you're gonna let him stay and i remembered i had a gift card so you're saying we could have recorded this afternoon um yeah from 4 30 to 5 pacific i guess 30 minutes finally perked up here that yep uh nut sack okay let's move on uh rolling going okay aaron's doing some weird shit with shoes or whatever okay move it on i remembered that i had a gift card for ben and nicks which i got so much to tell you guys i won 25 at the poker tournament for the loser i mean i don't know i don't know i don't know if i won 25 at the poker tournament i won the loser's table at the poker tournament i got a 25 gift card cash yeah yeah cash you beat all the losers at the loser's table and you feel like you didn't even mention that to us i didn't know it i didn't even know it and then i was we were out hiking two weeks ago and a guy texted me he's like hey aaron i'm dropping off a gift card at your house and i was like oh man i didn't remember that at all he's like we got you down as the winner of the loser's table like fuck yeah so i had 25 bucks to spend it ben and nicks so i went and i got uh i got some nice tequila

[43:05]i was trying i was like well it's not mine so i'm gonna you know can you imagine being aaron's wife and just somebody shows up at your door goes ah yes your husband is the bet the biggest winner of all the losers and you'd be like yep okay sounds good thank you that's right so i go in and then i'm trying to pay for my drink and leave a tip because i was using a gift card and it turned out to be a mess i was like can i all i was a 20 i was like can you break this 20 so i can leave you a tip because i'm paying with this gift card and she was like no we're cashless and i was like well can you then just like put some of this on the gift card and put the rest on the card so i can leave a tip and she was like not able to do that so then i feel like a jerk so like what's gift card etiquette what do you do so that you can leave a tip when you show up with a gift card how much was there a lot on left on the gift card when this was done no it was like a dollar but i don't even know what do i do then you can't give her the

[44:00]gift card it's a restaurant i don't think so i think you go in you use the gift card and it's those where you're ashamed and you walk out you give them nothing that's what i did i mean that's what i tried i think that's what you have to do and i had to just turn tail and run and you know what aaron if you try and you make an effort and they can't accommodate like general forms of currency but there's only so much you can do like if a store has said we're not taking generally accepted payment styles then you they're on their own you can't be the first person to try to pay with a gift certificate the fact that they don't have a tipping system work out is fucking bananas like just have a menu item called tip and then you just say how many of these tips do you want to get like it's easy yeah i guess i don't know i tried then you come in just for the tip yes we went to a gift i think i don't know if i told you guys this a week ago we went out with the upstairs roommate some of their friends we had a few people out at a bar the bar of the restaurant one of the two i don't really remember either way i know i paid a lot of money but either

[45:01]way we go and they they're like we can split the bill but we will only split it 50 50 so like let's say rob and i go and aaron and you know we go and and you you know there's a group that ordered four rounds of drinks instead of one round they won't split anything other than so it's either all on one 50 50 or nothing what do you do in that situation you do the baller move you pay for the whole thing god damn right you do aaron yes it's it's my go-to move in new york and it causes more friction between my wife and i than anything is i pay for everybody's drinks and i ask and ask them to venmo me now normally i get quite screwed over by what the people the amount that people will venmo you for a drink you're like are you fucking serious did you look at the bed you know what i'm the guy so the first plate we went to two bars that night the first one we did it and someone else was kind of like me they're just like i'll just pay for it

[46:02]i don't want to deal with the nonsense because that's my line of thinking is i don't want to deal with the nonsense of people like marking stuff on a receipt i can't handle that i just i can't no no no no but but so then they they one person picked it up and they're like you can venmo me but we didn't like go through it so i just sent i went overboard on the venmo like i i overdid the venmo and they immediately said you did too much but it was because i don't want to be the guy who under reimburses on the venmo what do you guys think a hundred percent the venmo cheapos i'll never get it you know about what a drink is in new york city give me that plus a little bit more for a tip but russell i love that going over the top baller move kind of a ted dibiase move you say this hey venmo me i'll pay the bill and then guess what take off russell they're never gonna know okay i would i would do the old scam no listen to the scam russell this is a good one you leave your date outside and you go inside okay it's very cool people like

[47:05]well how is it rolling going with the the best dater on the podcast russell you know what i i have an admission i have no rolling going this week no none i have nothing interesting going on in my life i have nothing to talk about i was gonna ask you guys what are you like aaron somehow you come up with crazy shit every week matt comes up with a song this is the first i don't even know what to talk about i'm rolling what do you guys do when you've got no rolling going help me out i found a candy bar in my bag russell let me forget about that story a good minor okay i've just come to realize that anything that i might be thinking or doing is probably ridiculous enough that you guys will make some good jokes out of it so i just i just go with whatever happened to me today he's so pure russell russell last week i didn't have one and i just opened instagram and then i just started strolling i don't have instagram and then there was this you know there was this thing on paul cogan's i've got a good

[48:00]another rolling going if you want me to do my second one russell double it up rob i'm here all right so russell i use google keep anytime i think of something interesting i put it into the thing called rolling going as you can see here and i want to talk to you about this new trend i've been seeing russell it is pre-engagement pictures now what has been happening is that people are going around and they are secretly i'm sorry hang on can someone read this that's not pre-engagement pictures so the people for the people that are can't see this is a new york post man we're not new i don't know if the new york post is like the inquirer if it's a real news paper i don't know it's more the inquirer but rob when he's talking about whatever he's talking about the headline does say napoleon's one and a half inch long penis last known to be in possession of a new jersey urologist's daughter that's what rob brought us to that's what yeah that's what i just i just want to say this right now this is not my rolling going this

[49:01]is actually a different rolling going i was saving this you're only going part two yeah i clicked on the wrong link russell so i'm sorry this was not something i was going to show you next week i will come up with a better rolling going i will not let this happen i apologize it would be it would be a bummer though if you headline of a newspaper said your name and then one and a half inch penis and he's dead he can't do anything about it he can't defend himself exactly and that's the thing is like i don't hey if a penis is one one and a half inches soft fine whatever okay because you know they don't have his rock hard cock in a box somewhere oh talk about my penis how small it is i can't believe it hey oof that accent was going real but that is a classic napoleon mr freeze no that wasn't it okay listen russell hey get napoleon's small penis out of your mind right now the new thing russell and i just and and aaron and man i want to say this to everybody okay hidden engagement photos okay what where guys are

[50:01]buying the engagement ring and then secretly taking pictures of the engagement ring pictures of the ring in front of the person they're going to give it to before they do it so like here the woman fell asleep he put the ring in her hand and then took a picture putting stuff in your wife's hand and taking pictures that's crazy rob if you were if you were the super jacked skinny woman and or man whatever and you got proposed to that way you would be pissed i would be so mad you didn't work you didn't work your whole life to get jacked and skinny and to get proposed to by someone putting a ring in your hand while you're sleeping russell russell he takes the wing away and only has the picture so then later he takes a picture like this or he takes a picture like this where he's in front of her with the ring this is pre-engagement and then after they get engaged he says oh i've been taking secret pictures of you like i left it in this bowl in our living room for a couple days see here she is sleeping and here's the ring oh my god and he's got these photos on on the internet that's

[51:01]yeah hey russell pre-engagement photos they're a real thing check them out my wife did take a picture of me sleeping and it was so disturbing i want to show it to you guys but i'll find it later we'll we'll do that in another episode let's get into the talking about the album let's talk about the album theoretically oh yeah oh yeah listen okay i'm on a whole different google key russell you got me all thrown off uh 1979 okay b-52s out of athens georgia guys what other famous band rem rem coming out of athens georgia nice job russell beat me to it herschel walker the b-52s this first album is the definition of i think kitsch rock kind of new wave rock now listen i happen to know i'm using my psychic abilities some of you didn't care for this album you thought it was too silly my job today is i'm going to try to change your mind on that i think there is nothing wrong with a music album being fun there's nothing wrong with a music album being silly

[52:03]okay you can be music musically gifted and still make a silly album if you want to have a good listen i'm telling you right now guys the love shack i won't play it now but the love shack vocals isolated which maybe you listen to if you did a parody song to try this one is unbelievable yes but they're these guys are so talented so don't let the silliness get in the way of that this would this would be like if i told people hey you should listen to the podcast and listen to um the b-52s episode and they're like is it funny and i go no but but the the james brown episode is funny you listen to the james brown isolated vocals rob just did a whole isolated vocals i love shack that don't listen that don't make no sense these episodes are like my children i will never tell them which one i like more i think i mean it's pretty obvious there's no way it's the one who wants dinner either at four or nine forty five yeah it's the one who's most like rob

[53:01]it's clear okay this is bernard can it's gonna be either one could be the one that makes a list and has updates her calendar or could be the one that currently has up to two dozen half full soda cans in her room okay we don't know which kid is more like me we're not sure okay is it the one who said to me today hey dad what do you think of my outfit and she was just wearing like gym shorts yeah great like i don't fred schneider bernard gendron i think described this band better than anybody else he said it's a thrift shop aesthetic right kind of going back to the 50s and 60s fred schneider kate pearson cindy wilson that's 20 for a t-shirt wow nobody would pay that much okay russell is wearing a rolling going a rolling stones t-shirt uh and we got fred schneider on uh vocals kate pearson and cindy wilson that dude was great on sns

[54:01]copier making copies rob skinny rob looking ripped making copies not gonna be working at the school anymore because he's super ripped rob please do not get me started on snl bits from when we were 12. if you don't think i think about apperman when i'm making rhymes with rolling going robbie getting pissed at his co-host for not playing along with his jokes right now robbie getting pissed at his co-host for not playing along with his jokes right now robbie getting pissed at his co-host for not playing along with his jokes right now rob don't you hate shirts why'd you wear your shirts you guys are really doing the copy guy bit this is crazy what you think is funny is crazy i don't get it living in new york city new york

[55:01]rob i mean the other day my canoe capsized got almost no laughs okay and yet this is slain i don't get it it's like a ferris bueller thing rob something's just over your head rock pubic lice almost no laughs today i don't get it i don't get you guys okay how about this one you're cataloging laughs now robbie not getting the jokes from his co-host not playing along with his jokes not selling his jokes way to robbie way to way to play along and make a great podcast by selling your co-host jokes rob robbie not not sell the jokes russell with the great jokos i don't even get it does it rhyme is that why it's funny i don't get why it's funny well i think the original bit is that it's rob schneider not fred wasn't wasn't he on that other skit too where it was like buh-bye buh-bye oh my god no that was that was chris catan my favorite person on snl buh-bye uh listen you guys want to hear something funny

[56:03]aaron was dating a girl mustache man broke up with him because he thought he was grooming his mustache right let's split up hover more ground got no laughs to roll it around compliment you when you have a good joke i love the listeners laugh robbie getting frustrated for continuing the joke that he doesn't think is funny you just don't get it i don't get it robbie bike to work stealing yetis rob rama doing the flow the rob flow doing his weight lifting after work and before work summer's off rob i do kind of like this i actually like this when you guys are hosting i feel the pressure's off okay let's just sit here and think about other things uh the album this album a rama squatty robbie album peaked at number 59 the b52s were named so because the two female singers had nose cone

[57:03]type hairs that's what they say it doesn't make much sense to me but basically they signed the contract for this album flying to the uh uh recording studio nasa bahamas we've already done an album recorded at the studio can you remember what it is what studio in the bahamas russell this is one of the most important parts of the show the bahamas a place where rob would love to go the other band was bahamas talking heads oh remain in the light that was recorded band right and the same album the same studio that put out this album also put out back in black by acdc which is a great effect before john letton before john lennon had his last big hit he said the b52s were one of his favorite bands and said that rock lobster inspired double fantasy hmm so okay b52s woman stay on i can hardly express they kind of stay alive through the whole 80s

[58:05]hit it big again uh with love shack and rome let's get into the b52s rob enter will you introduce the first song in a in a in a copy boy voice it's just i want to hear you try it once planet claire is the first song clarino clary claire claire claire the bear don't stare claire no no claire sexy underwear claire what's under there claire no pubic hair so bare what so how is that different it's the same thing this is this is an nbc approved bit rob it's a clean bit oh yeah lauren michaels would be very upset i've got a bit on how they're always having sex on the stairs in porn and i would never ever do that why not hey can you imagine a more uncomfortable place

[59:02]like are they wooden stairs or carpeted wouldn't it's always really i wouldn't yeah listen russell can i just say this right now yeah if you're watching a porno and they're having sex on a carpet you gotta get you gotta pay some more money i don't know what you gotta what do you mean like you like hardwood floors or like linoleum or what listen i'm not watching madsen sound puts his headphones on it's like what the fuck i'm not watching a porn i'm not watching a porn where they're having sex on a carpet okay i got class like a not like a bearskin rug that's not a carpet a bearskin rug is not a carpet what do you mean if i said if they said oh yeah this apartment has carpet and i went in it was just bearskin rugs i would be shocked by that but like you prefer hardwood floors and linoleum or what uh no i'm not watching a porn where they're having sex on a linoleum floor russell i don't think that's a category how do you know because i know trust me you know years years of research okay okay so here we have planet claire this is based on the peter gunn theme uh by benjamin britain you know what oh different oh

[60:08]you don't know it hey look at me i'm the b-52s i'm just ripping off a really famous song and putting some morse code over it morse code is good on songs brett schneider is credited on this as being on the walkie-talkie that's what we haven't seen you yet i tried to do a walkie-talkie list but i could only get one and that's the convoy song oh that's a good one though what about the citizen king that's all i could find they were on a phone for that one part of it do you guys were you guys addicted to walkie-talkies like i was when i was younger if i got a walkie-talkie for a gift i was like this is gonna change my life yeah and then they broke every time yeah and then i did the same thing with my kids yeah you were like oh they're gonna love these yeah and then they're like and then they're always like dad what channel what channel i'm like we're always on channel seven you know that do you guys ever have police scanners never no oh god when i lived in small town minnesota

[61:02]i got a police scanner one of my parents moms uh worked at the emt so i got all the frequencies that everybody in town used so i would just sit at home play video games have drinks and then listen to the police scanner and everybody i knew was getting pulled over so i could just hear it on the oh god it was so great what was the what was the frequency that's enough oh yes a it was inverse of the wavelength russell learn something girls oh i'm sorry 52 girls technically there's only 25 girls named in this did you know that it's it's 52 for b52 but there's only 25 if i can square that in your mind russell what if i said to you you've got to cover this song but you're going to change all the girls names guess who you did that for you're going to change all the girls names guess who you did that what either the offspring or the other band that we confuse them with oasis oasis they covered

[62:02]52 girls offspring all right so they must have been listening to b52s we have we have to have the offspring coming up on the list in the next few months right like they said they have that thing sort of uh cheeky sense of things right they don't take themselves too seriously yeah the only problem is that you know i went to the grocery store the other day and i was like god damn i recognize this guy behind me it's crazy was it and i realized that he was the lead singer from the offspring and he was just right there and he's just you know getting groceries and putting his stuff down and he takes that little plastic thing and he puts it down and he looks at me he goes you got to keep them separated oh all right dance this mess around i was watching a cooking show the other day a top chef show i watched this top chef person go through like a one of the grocery stores and instead of getting like one bag at a time to put their produce and they ripped off like a

[63:05]40 bags and they just walked around and had all the bags already in their hand have you guys ever done that or do you always rip one at a time yeah i'm a one at a time aaron you've never you've never dawned on you to rip like 10 bags at once and you just got them all right off the bat wow well i usually bring a bag of my own bags yes nice job nice job russell you walked right into that one russell i salute you for bringing that up if i remember i got the bag of my own bag because we got the reusable ones wow but i would be stressed out pulling off 30 bags no and just being like i'm gonna walk around am i gonna get this many green beans you know what i mean like but that is kind of life-changing why don't we do that why don't you grab more bags right off the bat why don't i you if you don't use them all you can just put them down someone else will grab them and use them i bet just put them down russell you are just throwing bags on the floor and then saying i think somebody else is gonna use i think it's funny to hear all the dances in that song like i'm i'm i i don't i'm giving away my take

[64:03]at the end i don't think this album sounds good but i i'm a fan of danceable rock and roll so i'm i'm with him on that aaron i wrote down all the dances they mentioned in the song are you ready for this bring it yeah the pony the chicken nice the mashed potato yeah the alligator now i feel like we could all do the alligator right now without even looking it up right i think we all know what the alligator is there's only one dance that is the alligator uh the watusi the twist the fly russell there's the jerk the tango the yo-yo the sweet pea and the hand jive now two of those sound like they could be pretty similar actually all of them the twist hey what is that the hand jive i like it more when you do the twist the twist yeah hey can you get me a watusi to clean up all right next up rock lobster their

[65:02]biggest hit off the album fred schneider said he was at a disco that had pictures of lobsters on the wall with children playing ball i think this is fun interesting thing about this i think we listened to this when we first started the quest i got through like 150 albums just kind of listening on my own sometimes it was ahead of the process and one thing i was always doing was liking songs i would click two or three on every album i liked a lot of these so when i listened to this i saw oh i've liked this i've liked this i've liked this i don't know what i was thinking like these are they're fun they're fun songs they're different but like this is really strange isn't it yeah this this kind of got like the sunra organ but this is the big hit yes yes 100 right this where they're looking under the dock and there's a rock lobster it's fun listen to this talented this sounds good this guy's this reminds me so much of they might be

[66:03]giants i'm telling you i will say this i i had like four or five ideas for lists on this one and one of the lists i was going to do was the best songs ever with synthesizer or keyboard bass lines because there's very bass lines on this and i want i went and i watched a youtube video and i watched someone play this on on like a synthesizer these are like i gotta watch what i'm saying here it's like just some old dude like fresh occasionally pressing keys on the keyboard i'm like this doesn't look that impressive like and i watched it i was like i had to get rid of it because i was like i it i feel like you could give rob a random keyboard and he could maybe come up with that it i i think the keyboard's doing all the work so you are challenging rob's assertion that this is a talented band i i don't i don't think so i don't think they are charging gently listen i just am going to play this for you okay and i know this is the wrong album i know it's a different album

[67:05]but i just later we weren't going to get through this episode without rob playing i love shack isolated vocals matt's already asleep anyway isolated vocals you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says 15 miles to the i mean this is this is sounds good this is talent russell now do they use that talent to make a song about how they go under a dock and see a lobster yes they do and it's fun okay hey listen the rolling stones the songs don't know do we really have to listen to another album where it's the 12 bar blues over and over and over and it's it's song chorus on course it's fun to have one like this i'm down with fun music i'm not gonna disagree with you i think fun music is great i also think music should sound good and like music oh oh no oh boy erin went up high came down hard russell with all those

[68:05]okay okay well the good news russell i can tell you by the way exactly where you were on the old list when you listen to this album you know why because it was 152 they fucked it one 52 on the list these guys yeah they they fucked up big time uh lava i mean it probably fit in like 452 right there's 552 guys guess where i'm going in two weeks where hawaii i'm gonna see monoloa what are you doing there uh my wife going to hawaii for vacation during the summer probably still getting paid because he's on the administration team robby robbalama russell i'm gonna say aloha to that bit because that means hello goodbye uh my wife is getting flown out first class staying in a nice hotel on the big island she has to give a speech russell do you want to guess how long they want her to talk for uh probably between 25 probably 20 to

[69:03]40 minutes i've been two seven minute speeches that's it yes it's a pretty good pretty good bit for a trip to hawaii i don't get what anyone else's job is it's crazy what am i doing with my job what am i doing my life that's stupid aaron what's one thing i should do in hawaii you're a hawaii expert eat poke i'm damn aaron that's why you're my best friend okay don't flinch when i say that don't flinch okay that is a great suggestion you know i'm gonna do that that's the only thing you gotta do and watch the sunset you gotta watch the sunset oh god i gotta do everything with you leave me alone get off my back there's a moon in the sky i just wrote down my name and i'm gonna next to this one i just said fucking funny i think the song is funny there's a moon in the sky listen to this it's called the moon brilliant i don't know i do feel like i'm fighting for they might be giants with this as a proxy and

[70:08]that's probably not fair but that's okay like i i want i want to embrace your love of this album and also gently say i'm not sure i love it the same sorry russell fair enough you're allowed to like what you like and there's parts of this that i think it's super fun and i'm kind of bopping around with i'm not ragging on it i just don't know if it belongs this high on the list but the music is fun to listen to that you and you know what who gives a shit what we think like what you like i russell i've told you i have a very small brain i need to be part of the crowd and i gotta i haven't listened to a thing aaron and matt have said for like a year and a half on this podcast like what you like you know you listen to aaron he fucking bosses you around tells you what to do okay tell me what to do you to elusive weight i'll lose a way to show you was in charge pretty soon hero worship uh as far as i can tell this is a song about oral sex

[71:05]now all that being said am i gonna listen to this album again by choice probably not for the exception of rock lobster but uh this is about bathroom graffiti okay i almost did a list of best songs ever featuring phone numbers we won't go through but i'll just give you some of the ones i thought about baby got back is 1 900 mix a lot wow a great phone number song right yeah great we had toots in the maytals a song 54 46 is all about lying about a phone number 46 you know that one number whoa we had tommy two-tone eight six seven i don't know if you guys have the classic there's a couple other ones but i couldn't how about this one russell 911 is a joke in my town flavor slave yep six three four five seven eight nine do you guys remember any phone numbers like could you remember a phone

[72:03]number for five people right now or not i can give you sam shuts his rochester let's hear a number right now let's hear it you can bleep it out two eight nine five you gotta you gotta area code or not 507 what are you i'm not living in the fucking cities we're all in one place man you know any closer to cannon fall you know any phone numbers or no yeah i mean i don't know like my parents and in-laws and yeah i know lots of past ones too like my grandparents have been dead you remember their numbers wow i can yeah eight six four eight there you go i i'm just gonna tell you we i lost my phone the other day like i got my phone locked in my dad's car what's it next to the what's the next to your candy and the backpack luckily i had bought the candy in the store so it wasn't in the car yet okay so i could have that salted nut roll like solve this problem which is my dad and i go to the phone in the store we're like okay who are we gonna call and we're like we don't know anybody's cell number i don't know my dad's cell number i don't know my mom's cell number i don't know my sister's cell

[73:03]number i had to call my wife i'm in northern minnesota i had to call my wife in new york to call my mom to come send us a second set of keys so we could get in the car it was crazy i don't know anybody's number anymore and my kids i don't know how my kids are ever gonna find me if their phones die they don't know anybody's number nobody's do you know what they say now russell i think i could only name two numbers it would be my mom's number that i grew up at and it would be my neighbor's number that was like the next door neighbor i think i can get two that's it you don't know no russell i'm not trying to cause trouble i'm not trying to get back at you for that extended copier guy bit earlier okay but do you know the number of the upstairs roommate how would you know that it never comes up like if if they call you the name comes up there's never a time where the number pops up aaron do you know your wife's phone number yes how do you know it because i've written it on a thousand forms you know forms and whatever and also i don't know i mean we've

[74:03]been married 17 years she's had the same number the whole time so i know it hot take prank calling it i couldn't tell you the area code i couldn't tell you a single digit in the upstairs roommate's number but like it's it always comes up i guess it always comes up as a name it doesn't come up as a number all right i'm just saying you might want to i don't know if you're going to be filling out a ton of forms in the near future or anything but you might want to get that number get it memorized okay i i think i think phone numbers are on the way out i don't even think it'll be a thing anymore in a year or two now that i love wow i can't wait for bold take i can't wait for big butts 75 at yahoo.com to be my main way of identity find people like what they're calling me for a job interview it's all by email i remember 281-330-8004 what is that let's do it mike jones there you go now listen i want to play petula's clark's downtown first i normally don't play the songs first but this of course is

[75:01]only you can always go i mean it guys oh the triangle it's a classic it sounds good and to finish off this album the b-50 is a classic it's a classic it's a classic it's a classic it's a classic the b-52s covered it this is this how the other album's got to be on here before this i don't think this improves on the original yeah sorry i don't want it okay you know what i got a great idea for how to solve this problem just are we turning it off are we done i've got to make a joke oh wait i know oh yeah like a big chicken when the show is getting slow i need to make a joke so i'll start talking about my all right let's get into the rating system

[76:01]probably the best parody song we've heard since the last two i've done very popular i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was the best song i've ever heard since the last two i've done i'm just kidding ralph that was really good thank you it's one of probably my favorite one of my top five for sure can i tell you in the amazon ricky stinicki movie which i didn't watch but somebody made a joke on twitter that said oh yeah ricky stinicki the main character does parody songs about jacking off how stupid i was like oh my god i have literally dozens i have dozens of those that i and i'll text the guys this is a good one i literally texted them about my nutsack song today i texted i have got one of my greatest songs i texted that song about about russell to my sister and said this is my magnum opus what was the song about me i don't know i'm fucked but how you're not a single in the time machine russell not a single guy totally that's that was like that was like an

[77:01]hour ago rob move move it along oh rolling well toned rolling boner rolling grown rolling well toned it's perfect at 197 no 198 okay or should it be at 152 if you think it should have been higher on the list which of course would be a lower number that would be a rolling boned okay it shouldn't be this far back or is this a rolling grown it should be lower on the list 252 352 452 okay 552 which will be our second podcast that just russell does and sends to me to edit later russell what do you think rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling grown you know i can't imagine your eponymous album i can't imagine your eponymous album i can't imagine your eponymous album i can't imagine living in a world where like the first 193 albums didn't exist and aliens came and said this is our greatest musical achievement as an album ever and i i just can't i can't see it you know i could see me being like super skinny and ripped and having gandalf cum gutters tattooed on me i can't see i can't see that is more likely than aliens coming to earth and be saying this is

[78:03]the greatest album of all time if the first 193 didn't exist i think there's cool beats it's you know what rob it's fun and just because we kind of rip what where it's at in the list i don't think that should impact how you enjoy the music if you enjoy it you got to enjoy what you like and if our listeners enjoy it good for you i just think it's too high on the list so i'm going to say it's rolling grown way too high aaron rolling well toned rolling bone or rolling grown what do you think sorry rewind i made a cocktail tonight that i drank earlier and i believe i showed it to you guys i sent you a picture have you guys ever had a b52 before no so it was kalua bailey's and then it called for some sort of orange liqueur and i only i think i had um grand mariniere one of these one of these liqueurs but the key to this b52 shot is you're layering it it took me three tries to layer the drink properly to hold the bar spoon up against the glass sounds

[79:06]like my sophomore year of college have you guys ever robbed three tries to get the layering right you went to i've never you went to bartending school rob do you know how to layer a cocktail or not bro i made a b52 at bartending school that was one of the drinks i remember so i made a b52 i drank it earlier upstairs it was a pretty good drink check out a b52 if you want a fun shot sometime russell can i just tell you a b52 the key to the layers yeah is just like when a bunch of bears are sleeping next to each other it's the den city the den city den city jesus christ okay by the way you're a bit earlier about uh gandalf tattoos deuce bigelow male wasn't he deuce bigelow male gigolo too 100 he was a male gigolo which is even more hilarious the more as i get older i realize why that's so funny

[80:01]aaron rolling well-toned rolling boner rolling grunt what do you think robbie robinho making podcasts doing the ratings wants to know how we think what is the album aaron you're better than the songs giving him some ratings is that the point of music i don't know we're gonna get we're gonna get copyright busted for this i know what this will be the thing yeah rob schneider be the one to come after us uh i will i will admit um we played this this morning my son was bopping to it is fun but then at the same time we get to like track eight and we could not think or speak to each other because the sounds in this video are so good i don't know what to say about it i don't this album starts really great on my ears so i don't love it sonically i do love that it's fun rob you should love it i don't think it belongs to sign the list rolling grown hey can i just tell you guys i'm okay okay you don't need to like you don't need to worry about me all right i'm gonna be okay whether you guys like this album or not okay it's so sweet that you care so much but i'll be okay man hey rob tomorrow morning you're gonna wake up and you're gonna be you you're not gonna be that super ripped guy at 219 oh god with couple with tattoos on your

[81:05]cup gutters what if i got more sleep and i did turn into that guy and it turns out this podcast is what told me back you know what russell all along rob i wouldn't change a thing some people would argue there may have been some truth to my my my goodbye things a few weeks ago so let's we better not go there this is the last album we do we're like yeah was that great matt what do you think rolling well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown um i was gonna try to do the robbie robbie's he's gonna be fine fire from teaching oh no no no i pray uh i pray taking over comedian best best one ever yeah okay i think i just i didn't even listen to this album i can't listen to this album i didn't waste one second we've got like hootie and the blowfishes album not on the list one head you know wallflowers

[82:03]not on the list we've got all these not on the list not on the list not on the list not on the list things not on there not on the list you know so i i i cannot put this up anywhere well i don't even know if it belongs on the list to be honest with you i don't know i didn't dig into it enough to see if it was influential on anybody i don't feel like it is you know but so i'm just gonna say rolling grown should be off the list another hot take how the fuck is a b-52 album on the list and there's no god dang love shack what are what are we talking about here hey hey aaron on your win amp player in college how many how many songs from the b-52s did you have one one rob manhead zero he doesn't listen to this shit i should be cleared by my win amp i mean your room on russell's computer because i never had a computer in college are you including this

[83:01]song there's a moon in the sky you aaron's first roommate that dropped out had this one yeah it's called the moon i have some girl in my room well they seen it the the intersection of people who had a ferret as a pet in college and and the moon song on their win amp list is like this that's literally the most true thing you've ever said your entire life you could not be more correct god damn i am that guy unfortunately you guys are incorrect okay this gets a rolling suck shit i hated it no this gets don't listen to us don't worry eat shit this gets a rolling and that's it good night all right everybody this gets a rolling it's you gotta push back sometimes it's okay to say i'm pushing back you gotta tell us where we're wrong tell us why we're wrong reminds me of my day as a pilot listen i you know why this is on the list and not love shack i i do think i think it's a good

[84:01]point because rome's on there it's because it's influential it's new wave we haven't had a lot of 80s stuff that's why it's on there but you know what it's fun it's silly okay and that's why it gets a rolling it's food listen it's wild it's weird it's kitsch and i love it there's a direct line from the b-52 so they might be giants and plus love shack all-time karaoke hit for me not on the album more albums should be this fun it's the point i don't need to hear about the girls that left you sometimes i just want to hear about the moon it's called the moon next up maybe after this next album when i hear about asphalt it won't be the doctor telling me that my hemorrhoids were not real and i just get an appointment for a fake exam what it's slanted and enchanted by pavement i feel like this is a robin great album i'll be ready i'll be ready to come come in oh man doc doc i have an asphalt you see look at the pictures in his office do not

[85:04]man earlier tonight we were listening to we're talking about some of the albums that coming up we're listening to meet the beatles on the record player from a few weeks ago and the upstairs roommate was getting very very frustrated with the mobile version of the rolling stones list oh yeah the website list he's right dude that thing sucks it's the worst rolling stone knows making bad listos web page so shabby that's not even close http no secure there's not the s on there not trusted with my death hit the ding hey rob you do the goodbye first man it's time to say rob why don't you why don't you get trim and cut first then come back and try that again in a year or so yeah we'll see if that happens it's more likely i make it to 452 i think they might get trim and cut

[86:04]Thank you.