Bjork: Homogenic (1997)

[0:00]Oh, wait a minute. You know what? I got a new sound clip Here I almost forgot about. That's a deep Gong. And it's a Long gong. It's a nice gong. Don't say it. Don't say it, Aaron. In 2020, four friends Decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 Albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text stain that celebrated The music, excoriated the order, and led Us to making this podcast. And yes, I said text Stain. That's fine, okay? That's a thing. Still going. The text taint? I don't know. The text taint. LOL. That's what my Text taint looks like. I can tell you right now. God, that was a long Gong. What? Some big gong. Thank you, Aaron. Now, here's the thing, okay? I am in a place where there is nobody else. This is going to be the last time I record by myself for a while. Except for that person that's right behind you. So we're going to get loud. Stop fucking saying that. There's nobody out the window behind me. Not that side. Don't say that anymore. Okay? We are far from experts.

[1:00]We promise to do almost no research. All opinions Are our own. Unless you disagree, please sit Back and enjoy. Beck did it better. Beer did it better. I do have Cousins coming up tomorrow to the cabin, and I'm like, If they come tonight, like, late At night, I'm going to be so embarrassed. Me and your cousins? Rob, why do you have two shadows? We are all the way up to album 202. Oh my god, Guys, it's a palindrome. Just Like, you'll never believe it. I made friends with This thing that I can fly around to the Remote control and take pictures. That's my palindrome. It's a little Bit different. 202, and from 1997, it's... How do we say it, Aaron? Bjerg. It's Bjerg. Aaron sent me An audio clip. You know what? I really should just play this into the phone. You gotta play it. I gotta play it into the phone. That's why I'm going to start calling him a penis. No, Aaron, not that one. Okay, that's a different one. That's different. I'm sorry. Okay. What do the Americans Call you? A dork. A dork. So, bjerg.

[2:00]Bjerg. Okay, let's go around. Bjerg. Matt? I'm going to say bjerg, because I can't say bjerg. Bjerg. I can't say it. I'm not going to... Aaron? In the United States, she's bjerg. I'm not going to disagree with Matt, but I'm going to say Bjerg. Russell, where do you fall? I'm going bjerg. I'm going Just straight the way it looks to me. Oh my god. Mystery man, What do you think? I'm going bjerg. Bjerg. Bjerg. Bjerg. Incredible. That is incredible. How many... I mean... I never expected that. From 1997, it's bjerg With homogenic. This is a lot Like... Now, I have forgotten this joke, so I'm Going to read it verbatim, too. This is a lot like the album I made Called Homogenic, where I Just sat around with my bros and used my Game genie on my Sega Genesis. Hey, quickly. How do you spell home? Quickly. H-O-M-I-E.

[3:00]Fuck. No. It's going to be E-Y. It's E-Y. Homie or homie. But it was the wordle word The other day. No, not wordle. It was on the mini. It was on the New York Times mini As an I-E, and it threw me off Because he spelled fucking homie H-O-M-E-Y. I had it as I-E. To me, homie E-Y is like, Oh, this is a nice homie. Yeah. So comfortable here. Yeah, if you're putting somebody In a, I don't know, storage unit or whatever, And you throw in a blanket and a pillow, And you say, oh, you were a bad kid This week. You're going in the storage unit. That makes it homie. Now, if my friend is coming out of the storage unit And I want to say hi to him, they're my homie, I-E. See, that, to me, makes sense. I before E, especially for my homie. That's how I remember it. Rob, do I have to keep wearing the gimp mask When I come out of the storage unit? Yes, Russell. I told you that. The light could hurt your eyes.

[4:00]Does it have holes for the mouth or no? Oh, yeah, Aaron. I'm getting massive holes for the mouth. What do I look like, a bazillionaire? All right. That's for the parts that Rob has to cut out And send only to the 15 people on the text chain. Yes. Oh, my God. Don't even talk about that. We cannot talk about that. Hey, Rob, can I at least bring up, So Rob had a party he had to cut out And send it to only the text chain. The people that are listening to this Didn't get to hear it, And Rob sent it out, And he demanded, And at least eight people on the text chain Say, yes, I want to listen to this clip. Oh, no, no, no. He did not say eight people. He said eight yeses, and I'll release it. So eventually, he gets to eight yeses, And he sends it out, And I don't think there was a single comment about it. Now, I don't know if there was one. No one had access. I couldn't access it. I tried. Rob, how did you deal with that? Didn't even think about it, Russell. For me, making... Yeah, the amount of content we've made... Now, think about this, Russell. What is this, 202? It's a palindrome. Oh, that was my pal.

[5:00]It was a drone. And guys, that was a good one. The second time, I feel like it came together better. Because the sound effects really made it. I got a comment on iTunes. We got another iTunes review. Blasting me for posting the wrong show Involving the Fugees instead of Lauryn Hill. And you know what? I was thrilled. I was thrilled to get that feedback. I thought it was great. Honestly, any kind of feedback I get is great, And if I don't, I couldn't care less. I am still... I'm still making content. I am a content creator. Growth mindset. I love it. Was it Matt that made the comment or not? No, it was a... Guys, we've got another... We haven't made a funny episode yet. We've got another stranger on iTunes Commenting on our shit, okay? Charm has not gotten back to us About what album she wants us to do Because of the Mavs beating the Timberwolves, But Lauryn might be new favorite... Pillar to post, too. They just whooped their ass, didn't they? Yeah, that's the way it goes. Now, listen. I've got four guys here. This is Beck Did It Better. We're going through all... I think Aaron...

[6:00]Aaron, I believe I think They were prepping the Wolves for acting Like they were Steph Curry in the Olympics Is what they were trying to do. I'm not worried. He's going to be fine. He goes through shooting slumps. When this episode comes out, That's going to be so on the money, On the time. No, he's going to hit 10 threes in the semis, And then you're going to be like, We're out of time, aren't we? I think they play... They literally play in like 13 hours. Right. Can I just say this, Russell? I was wrong, and you were right. Hmm. I was... I was hoping South Sudan would whip their ass. I was hoping Germany would whip their ass. I loved it. It would mean so much more to them, Wouldn't it? Wait, they haven't played Germany yet, right? They've only played two games, right? They've got one game left in pool play tomorrow? Oh, you're not watching the warm-up games. Interesting. Not a true ball game. I know the warm-up games. I realize. This guy doesn't know ball, I guess. Okay? Just like my doctor, okay, Who turns out was not a real doctor. Did I tell you guys about this? It was crazy because I was like, Wow, you are the janitor at my high school, And you're filling out my physical form For me to play football. This is so great,

[7:00]But it turned into a whole thing. I don't have time to get into that right now. Did you touch your nuts? Turn my head and kiss. Oh. Now, I've got four guys here. This is back to it better. We're going through the top 500 albums, okay? And we are all the way up to 202, okay? Now, okay? In Minneapolis, I've got Matt. Matt, how are you doing tonight? Good, Rob. Emotional landscapes, they puzzle me. Yeah, you're telling me. Aaron and, ooh, I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing tonight? Guys, now that the podcast is back, We'll have to make a new love. I brought my ball of yarn. Wow. Oh, God. Dude, I got a ball of yarn right here. Peep this out. Yes. That is literally the least surprising thing That has happened yet on the podcast. Why is that ball of... Yeah, okay. My mom has taken to gifting us with stuff That we used to... We used to keep at her house when we were kids.

[8:00]So every Christmas, we get gifts that Is shit that she doesn't want anymore. Oh, that's enough. And so... No, no, no, you too. Shit, Rob. This is... It's time for... I nailed it. Ooh, that's great. Aaron's mom. Oh, yeah. So that's your mom's balls? Yeah. So this is what my mom made me for batting practice In the basement of our house. That's terrible. It's an old... There's, like, two pieces of tape on it. She couldn't take any more time To put some more tape on it. It's a plastic golf ball Wrapped in red tape. Red yarn wrapped in electrical tape. And that's what we used To take batting practice in the basement. So I got a ball of yarn right here. Aaron can't even get hit by a tennis ball. We got to wrap something in yarn Before we throw it towards him. Right I'm too pretty. I can't be what I mean? And meanwhile, Aaron's brother was hitting bombs And Aaron was throwing up his guts Because he got drunk the night before. Don't think you think I forgot that shit, Aaron. Your mom's working hard To put those balls together And you're out underage drinking instead. God, I still can't believe he told me. I can't believe he sold me out on that. That's terrible, Aaron, that you would do that. So Aaron, I guess the real question is,

[9:00]Is why the fuck do you still have That ball in your house right now? Because Wallace has been hitting it In the backyard. Now it's a multi, it's like a A cast in the cradle thing, You know, passing it along. It's been passed down, yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like that actually. You know, my kid still uses my baby blanket As like a blanket walk around the house. I'm kind of like. See, there you go. Hey, that's the way it is. All right. Some things will never change. Sincerity, not that funny, unfortunately. Rob, can I just ask, When did you stop using that blanket? So it comes, Dan. Russell, you don't have to ever stop Using the baby blanket. Okay. And believe it or not, My baby blanket was pretty big. It could cover up a lot of stuff. Actually, believe it or not, This is a true story. Could it get from like ankles to waist or no? Oh yeah, for sure. For sure. With room to spare. Here's the thing, Russell, Is I was actually born, You might not know this, I was actually born very premature. I was tiny when I came out. I was like six pounds or whatever. And the doctor said to my mom, And my mom repeats this as a classic joke. This gets a laugh. Every time the doctor said, I'm not sure he's ever going to get up to normal size.

[10:00]And then everybody in my family laughs. It's like a guaranteed laugh line. Everybody thinks it's so funny. Were they talking about your height though? Well, that could be right. Motherfucker. That's where you want to go today already? I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. Some might argue. I take it back. I'm sorry. Okay, I gotta talk about this too. My kid, I picked my kid up from Australia. She's like, dad, I've got a date set up When I get back to New York. Put another shrimp on the barbie Dad. Right away. Good eye, mate. Right away, she says, He's 6'2". I didn't even say anything. My kid goes, he's 6'2". And I was like, oh, motherfucker. I cannot handle this. Guys, I might have to get the tall shoes. I might have to get the tall shoes For when this guy comes over. I'm wearing the tall shoes. I'm walking around like a tall guy. Just get lengthening. Just get the surgeries. Just start lengthening. Can't you just be squatting When he comes over? Just be like, oh, hey, I was just in the middle of my workout. And here's five. Five hundred and sixty-five pounds. I'm going to rip off a set of eight

[11:00]Or whatever. Now, number one, We've already decided That he is going to bench press When he comes over on the bench That we have in the living room To see if he can bench more than my wife. That is rule number one To date my daughter. I doubt it. Okay? Yeah. Number two, He is not coming over Because as my child says, You guys are freaks. I'm never bringing anybody over. And I was like, Well, how will they bench press On the bench press in our living room If you don't bring them over? Listen, The guy that comes over, Step one, Wrong name. Okay? To establish my dominance. Yeah. Okay? Step two, Try to kiss him. Okay? To super establish. Step two. Especially with that mustache, That would be... Step two, I trick him into the storage shed That I have set up. I don't know if you guys know About this place. It's homey. It's got a blanket And a pillow in there. You might need to get A second mask, though. Oh, my God. I've got... Aaron, I was going to end it On the kiss him part And then you said it again. It's so funny. That's going to sound weird. Okay. That was my idea. Aaron,

[12:00]I would never kiss him. That's crazy. I've got John in Edina. Who knows how long John's going to be here. John, How are you doing? Yeah, It's going very well. I like to pull the... Wow. I like to pull the pips. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Think about how much money You paid for that. What a... Unbelievable. Brilliant. And I've got Aaron Out in California now. Aaron, I was talking to Aaron earlier And I said, Aaron, Did you hear about this bird flu? And he goes, Yeah, They tend to do that. Aaron, How are you doing? How are you doing? I'm no fucking Buddhist, But is this enlightenment? Let's talk about Gerk. Wow. All right. Listen, No more fucking around. Let's get right to the voicemail. Wow. Different song. We asked them to leave messages On a voicemail. This is when I really put effort Into the podcast. But they're not so afraid. Sounds good. It does sound good. Most of the time, They leave text messages For our show. Yeah. Do they? These idiots Not realize

[13:00]We only do Audio. John, You want me to do yours Or next episode? Up to you, buddy. That's what we think. What do you guys think? You gotta go, John. John. All right. Seems kind of sick To have a voicemail From a guy who's on the show. What am I going to do? Sort of like Self-congratulatory. Yeah. We're nothing If not that. We'll see you next time. And is Mago wearing Cheering on

[14:00]Of capital punishment Does thinking a lot About last meals And thinking about Guys like John Wayne Gacy. He ordered up A bucket of original recipe Kentucky fried chicken. Maybe think of you guys And Timothy McVeigh Had He ordered for his last meal Two pints of mint chocolate chip Ice cream, Which I think you fuckers In Minnesota call it. Peppermint bonbon. Did he eat them? My question to you for I'd love to hear What would you order As you're on death row? What would be your last meal? I'll be here about it. You know who I would ask that to? Suge Knight. You know what I mean? Stranded on death row. Here's the thing. Okay. Is mint Is peppermint chocolate chip And mint bonbon Not this? Is this the same? Same thing. I always thought they were different. Nope.

[15:00]Peppermint bonbon And mint chocolate chip Exact same thing. What? I got to get out of here. I got to pull a rust And get out of here. I don't know. That blows my mind. I don't know what I thought Peppermint bonbon was, But I didn't. I thought it was like bigger. Great. Now I got to tell my wife I invested a hundred thousand Each into peppermint bonbon And mint chocolate chip ice cream. By the way, Great ice cream. Russell, I know you don't like the mint In the ice cream Or do you? I can't remember. No, I'm out. Oh, He's all the way out. You don't guess What you don't have to do. You eat peppermint bonbon Ice cream Or peppermint chocolate chip. It's the same. It turns out. Why would anyone turn An ice cream Or a cookie Into like a dentist flavor? It makes no sense. A dentist flavor. If you have peppermint bonbon Before you go to bed, You don't have to brush your teeth And that's a fact. It's right. It's you're good to go. You said. Okay. Back to that That black thing And tartar Back to that tartar bit We had the other day About tartar sauce. Now, We did a bit about tartar sauce. Oh, Yeah, Because I was at the baseball game

[16:00]Eating fish. I remember now. No, I'm not talking about that anymore. It's fucked. So, I survived. I'm still here. Last meal on death row. Who's got a good idea For what they want to eat On death row? What are we thinking? I thought I was set Until I heard about The bucket of fried chicken And I don't know, But I initially was thinking Very simple. Shot of mezcal, Dozen oysters, Bottle of champagne, Steak with garlic butter, Bourbon. That'd be it for me. So, You're starting with the mezcal And then ending with the bourbon? Yeah. I'm going to die anyway. What am I going to have A hangover? I'm not worried. Yeah. I'm drinking a whole bottle Of champagne in between. Your last thought is like, Oh, I can feel this gout coming on. Oh, well, Who cares? I'm good. I'm fine. Russell, What do you think? Russell or Matt, What do you think? Last meal? I'm definitely going Like a pepperoni pizza. What do you want In your tombstone? I'd have a Jax Or a tombstone. I can tell you that much. Just three from the oven? Probably like a Cassetta's, You know,

[17:00]Pepperoni pizza, Maybe like a Pizzeria Lola Or something. I wouldn't go with like A Domino's or something, But I think I would just go With a straight up Pepperoni pizza. Wow. Delicious. Russell, What do you think? You know, There's a lot of like Side dishes I would want, Maybe some pork belly, Maybe a little bit Of a ribeye or something, But the thing that I would Want to focus All of my energy on Is like at least One and a half Like monster buckets Of movie theater popcorn With butter All over that shit. Wow. Yes, A flavor coal on them. Yes. Yes. Yes. Aaron, Did you ever buy The flavor coal in a can? I know you're talking About doing that. I never did. No, I didn't. I didn't follow through With it, But I do now get A monster bag of popcorn Anytime I'm at the movies. Russell, Let me give you some advice. You ready for this shit? You take some junior mints, You mix it into the popcorn. Okay. And then Russell, You dip deep In the popcorn And there's a little Other. I can get down now. I never used to mix The sweet and the salty, But I do like to throw Some Sour Patch Kids Into the popcorn now A little bit. I like the water. I do. I never was into that, But now I kind of like The Watermelon Sour Patch Kids.

[18:00]I got to say, You guys turned me On to candy. I was not eating candy As an adult And you guys made me realize I was missing out. Yeah. Yeah. You're missing out, Aaron. It's really cool To buy candy at the store And get a look. Do you know what it's like To buy candy at the store And you get a look From the 23-year-old Of what the fuck? You are at 40-something And you're buying candy. Gross. Those nerd clusters, Though, they're good. Russell, You fucking with Sour gummies, Russell, and popcorn? What do you think? No, that's terrible. I wouldn't put anything In popcorn, But I certainly wouldn't Put any sour or gummy. I'm out on all gummy Type candy. I don't want that stuff. Okay. All right. I'd love a good gummy If it looks like a hamburger. I'll sign you up. SpongeBob one? Yeah, those are good. Yeah. John, what about you? What do you think? Well, fuck. I would order The biggest messy burrito, Maybe the bomb From Quick Trip, Like roughly. Ooh, there we go. Only because I want Those people To really have A good, hard job To clean up afterwards When it fits The electric chair Or lethal injection, Whatever. I'm making a mess, But I'd also get

[19:00]A slice of pecan pie. And I'd look The warden in the eyes And I'd say, I'm saving this for later And not eat it And just see what happens. You dummy. John, if you were the, If you were the, The warden And you were the one Putting someone down And they left some Like leftovers, Would you bring them Home afterwards or not? If it was KFC, Yeah, For sure. Because that's even good The next day. Yeah. Maybe even two days later. Especially if you're wearing An Undertaker shirt. I can tell you Ate this fried chicken Because we actually Have the bite marks As part of evidence. I can go grab it. Did you bring this As a last meal From death row again? I did. I'm a stinker. I can't believe I married you. My life's depressing hell. Listen, Okay, The correct answer Is actually, John, You're pretty close. I pick up my wife From the cities. We go out to breakfast. I've got a three And a half hour drive Ahead of me. So guys, Do I make smart decisions On what to get for breakfast?

[20:00]No. No, I do not. First of all, I go to Cream Cafe In Minneapolis. Coffee rules Everything around me Is what it says inside. Right away, Me going to Cream Cafe, Being as lactose intolerant As I am, You should know right away, Trouble. Order. Here's what I order. A cappuccino. Okay. I order a breakfast burrito. Slather that thing In hot sauce. You know I do. Okay. Then we split. They have ice coffee flight. Everybody who works there Has an ice coffee. So like the Michael. Right? There's one where it's like Nutella and chocolate. There's one where it's chai. There's one where it's matcha. But it's like the Allison. The Michael. All of them Incredibly heavy Cream-based drinks. Right? So my wife and I Are trying it. Now, Why do you think They have the names On the drinks? Like why do you think It's called the Michael? That's the way Michael likes It? Yes. And who do you think Michael is? Some 22-year-old skinny guy Who... Yeah. Who's working there, right?

[21:00]Yeah. So my wife drinks it And goes, Oh God, I hate matcha. This is terrible. And then she drinks The next one And she's like, Oh, It's got that tea flavor. This is awful. And I'm like, They are working Right back there Making my burrito Right now as we speak. So now I have loaded up On multiple cream drinks And a spicy burrito Which I couldn't eat all of Because it turns out I'm on medication. I forgot about that When I ordered all this stuff. Then I get in the car. I am driving up. I make it up to about, I don't even think it's like, It's not even like Monticello. And I'm just like... Where's that? Monticello is just, It's up on 94. It is north. God damn it. Now you got me. Jesus Christ. It's exactly halfway Between Rochester And Hackatack, Minnesota. I can just tell you that, right? Home of Joel Chris Villa At the Vanilla Gorilla, right? Oh, it is really on the same. Guys, at some point My wife looks at me and goes, You need to pull over now Because I was doing that thing

[22:00]Where like my body is straight. Like I put both feet on the floor And my body is like a straight plank Going, I cannot shit my pants. While you're driving? It's a 44 year old man Driving his wife up After their anniversary, right? That's an all time bad look. But what am I going to do? I had so much milk stuff. Thank you. Happy anniversary To Russell For that ride in the limo. Yeah, exactly. Russell, 20 years ago, 20 years ago, You were helping me out. Moving those statues around And now look at us. Okay? You're still serving me My every whim. Wait, you never, Wait, what does this have to do With your death row meal? Well, because I would get All that same stuff. Bunch of creamy drinks, Big burrito, Big burrito. Okay? And then I'd still be on Wigovia And be like, I should have stopped this. What was I thinking? It's not going to help me In the future. Now here's the deal. I will lose weight But it's because of my worm face When worms eat my face. Here's the thing Is that John, I did, But the bathroom I went into, I looked, I looked at the seat And I was like, Okay, I cannot touch the back Of this seat. There's some unknown substances Back there. So I had to like sit on the front

[23:00]Like I was like, I don't know what, Getting off a chair lift, You know, I kind of. Yep. All right. Scooch, scooch. Let's get into roller going. Russell's about to pass out. It's time to see What everybody's up to. I feel like I might be In the wrap zone right now. Yes. Uh-oh. Okay. Your hamstrings are pulled? Yeah. You're crying? Are you crying? Is there some tears? The wrap zone is the part Of your face That gets most oily. A lot of people Don't realize that. Rolling going. I'm going to start With myself rolling going. Listen, I've got to do An apology Of the week And I wish I wouldn't Have said that Before I found the SoundCloud. From Beck, Did it better. Is this to me or no? This apology Is going out to Russell. You might go To someone else first. I got, I'm feeling like Rob right now. We might have to be back In a minute. Oh, No way. Oh, Oh, That's a first. Oh, Wow. Russell had a big dinner Pulled hamstring. You know, When he took up that,

[24:00]Remember that half and half? I saw him drink out of that again. Remember when he had that In the basement Unrefrigerated? That was a mistake. I should have not done that. Russell didn't, Definitely didn't go. I have to go make love To someone. Okay. Aaron rolling going. How's it going with you? God, We've never had a sex break In the podcast. We really should like somebody Now that you guys feel like Something we should do. That would be, I mean, We're already, We're 40, We're more than 40% Through this thing That we really should. Somebody should go and do that. So I hope it's Russell. I've been watching. Okay. You guys can watch me have sex. I'll do it on camera for you. Okay. Making the ultimate sacrifice. Put my camera all low And behind. I mean, The problem, Like I would like, I know I would watch, Like I know I would watch. I don't want to do it. I don't want to watch that. Rob has more ingrown hairs Back there somehow. Like, Oh, I mean, That's gotta be like a 4k. I don't know what's going on. You know, I see that blur background. I don't think so. Staring deep into your asshole.

[25:00]I've been watching a lot of Olympics As you might imagine. I think a couple of my favorite things Are I watched this morning And there was this 19 year old From Sri Lanka Who was running In the heats of the 800 meters And like, She was like, So stoked to introduce herself To the crowd And then she lost her heat By like 10 seconds. And that, That to me, Like other than winning An Olympic medal, I think like, Doing something like that Is the coolest fucking thing. Like you made it to the Olympics. You went all the way From Sri Lanka to Paris. You're there for one heat Of the 800. You got to live it up In the Olympic village. I just, I love, I love everything about it. But what I'm concerned about Is that I've just, I've been watching A lot of the gymnastics. Which Olympian would you Want to have sex with? If you're in the Olympic village And you could hook up With one event, What event would it be? One event? Yep. Like having actual sex Or just like holding hands? The holding hands sex. What? Because holding hands Would be the basketball team. But I don't want to actually

[26:00]Have sex with any of those guys. You wouldn't want to have sex With Kevin Durant? Are you crazy? He's so big, dude. How am I going to deal with that? Aaron, Hey, If you're going to go for it, You got to go for it. Okay? Your first homosexual experience Is with Kevin Durant? Yes, please. Thank you. Yeah, that's true. That would be a pretty big deal. No, that's, Yeah, that's a good point. Okay. Yeah, I got to be The U.S. Men's basketball team. Okay. Matt, Who are you having sex with In the Olympic Village? Probably the, What do you call them? The throwers? I think I'd go with the throwers. The javelins. Yeah. More like shot put. More like shot put. I was picturing them Grabbing it like a javelin And like running down. You're like, Yeah, yeah. That feels like something You've watched recently. John, what do you think? My Olympic, My Olympic porn parody video That I'm making. Just running up there With the javelin. I'll go with the obvious. The gymnast. Because It just would be a lot of fun. Pommel horse. Yep. Yeah, specifically.

[27:00]Yeah, I think that's a good idea. The rings. Yep. God, I didn't even think About who I'd go with. Probably a cyclist. Just have him sit on my face. I think that'd be The easiest one. Oh my God. What? Actually, that kind of like Dovetails into my rolling going Because I was watching The gymnastics yesterday And they kept talking about Simone. Simone Biles signature moves And I don't like I'm 45, 44 years old. I don't have any signature moves. Like at what point Am I going to get A signature move in my life? Do you guys have signature moves? Well, I get, I'll say this. I, I think I've Quasi perfected The dancing on the dance floor Without actually moving your feet. Yep. You know, That might be somewhat Of a signature move. Yeah, that's a good Quasi signature move. I like that. No, you're right, Aaron. I do need a signature move. Like, I need to come in And like Like I, Like I put my hand Way deep in my pockets, Like too deep And everybody's like, That's Rob, But his hand's way down In his pockets. Everybody needs a calling card.

[28:00]Something that like, You know, that's them And I haven't come up with it yet. I mean I think I told this story long ago. Like, I'm pretty smooth At putting up an umbrella, But like it hasn't, You know, I don't always get to be On the ring. So like, I need something more That's not just putting up The umbrella, Wow. Can you just do A quick demonstration? How are you smooth With putting up the umbrella? Oh, that was good. I like that. It went right up. I didn't see anything And then all of a sudden You pantomimed An umbrella going up And I was like, Damn, I'm actually kind of Impressed by that. Do you know, Do you remember When Kramer used to answer The phone in Seinfeld Where you do it With just one hand? Remember the old phones That touched it? We had those in college And you can essentially Hammer one side of it And it just goes Into your hand. Like, I am really good at that. And anytime I see A phone like that Right anywhere, I just, I instantly go right To the Kramer Where you just answer With one hand. Really? With one phone. Yeah. Oh, that's an incredible Signature move. That is a great Signature move. I love that. You have a message. There's a red light bleeping. Yeah.

[29:00]Remember? And then, I don't know if we can find it. We don't need to find it, But we need to get a... Oh, that's great. That's really good. Yeah, but I used to like that. It's just, You can't use it anymore. My signature move Is probably something I taught this friend of mine Named Isaiah. It's where I put The jersey over my head And then I dunk it. Okay? That's kind of my move. I tried to tell him, Hey, this is my move. Silly. Don't steal it. I'm living in the East Bay. I'm also pretty good At picking up Dirty laundry off the floor With my toes And then flipping it up To myself and catching it. That's great. I feel like that's like A lot of people. That's not that great. Feels great. Russell, we're talking Signature moves. You got any signature moves, Russell? Like, what do we... Like, if you walk into a room, How do we know Russell's in the house? I have no idea. By White Oakley. No signature moves for Russell. I don't have to think about that. The White Oakleys Are a good signature move. Yeah. I've been rocking the blue one At public events recently. You can see out of them. That's what advantage That you have. I can't see The podcast notes in these. Oh, Jesus. That guy is not allowed

[30:00]Back at the Little League Hall of Fame game. For sure. It's like me and Pete Rose Sitting over in the corner. So that's how It's rolling going with me. Are we getting A rolling going from John? Yeah, why not? Let's hear how It's rolling going with John. Oh, shit, guys. It's Same old, Same shit, different day. Just living the dream. Tell me about it. Existence is a bleak gray square. I forgot. Are you the guy Who forgot to prepare A rolling going When you're here as a guest? No, I met, I mixed up, I mixed up The rolling going With the intro. I was so excited. I wanted, I wanted a rolling going Right away. And John, I'll say, I'll just bring this back. John might be one of the more Interesting people I know in my life. And anybody who's ever met John Knows John is one of the more Interesting people They've ever met in his life. And he comes on this show And his one Chance at fame, Glory. He talks about Fucking sleep masks. What do you say? Your CPAP machine. That was his rolling going With CPAP machine. Right. You know, John,

[31:00]I love that. I was so mad. I went and got a sleep study And they're like, Your sleep's great. You don't need a CPAP machine. I was like, damn. I was disappointed for you, buddy. Because I really want, I want to be like Darth Vader Every time I go to bed. Just a pod, Just by myself, Shit over my face. Let's go. I'll let you use mine in Vegas. I can put it on you. Oh, John. Deal? If you come to Vegas, We might not survive. This might be the last. This might be what pushes Us over the edge. John, you got to take Your earphones out. We got to talk. Guys, do we really? I mean, He's still like a 50-50, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's not going to do it. Is he going to do it? He's not going to do it. Lots of talk. There's no way. Man, man. Hold on. It's a 50-50 Whether he gets the invite, right? Not whether he comes, Whether he gets the invite. That's true. That's true. Okay. Right here. John, bring it on back. John, bring your, Put your headphones back on. Yeah. Rolling, going. I just came back From a big Ryder Cup-style Golf tournament up north With some golf buddies And played like absolute garbage. Which was disappointing Because I had been playing great.

[32:00]And when I got up there, It was up in Rob's old Neck of the woods in Boabic. So We got to visit Gladiator and Tuna's In his old stripper club days. Yep. Nice. And I reverted back To just old habits And played like crap. Literally old strip club days, By the way. That's what they had. That was Thursdays. Old strip club days. You'd go in, You'd get a great discount. The worst part was, Rob, Is we went up to the Vermilion Club, The BC, To get the Bamboozler, Which is a pizza As big as your kitchen table. And they were so full, They couldn't seat all 18 of us. So we had to go back to the resort. Sad days. That is disappointing. Disappointing. Bamboozler pizza. Bamboozler. You had 18 people. Yeah. What the fuck? That thing is huge. Yeah. Oh, that's incredible. The infamous Bamboozler. Okay. Look at that. What's the minimum number of people? I'm going to say four. They say four people per pizza. So usually we have 20 guys. We get five of them. And little known fact, This is up in the hometown

[33:00]Of none other than St. Olaf's famous J.C. Jason. Don't look him up. Don't look him up recently, By the way. Drive fast, take chances. Oh, you're aware of the history. Yeah. We also called him Welcome to the land of the living. Grab a shovel and start digging. All of his decorations He had pierced throughout his body. But yes, we were up there. This guy. Okay. We got to talk about J.C. Just real quick. He ended up A terrible end to the story with him. But this guy, I show up to fucking college. I am 18. I am terrified out of my mind. I am just this little fat kid From Rochester. I show up And all of a sudden This guy walks in Bright red hair. Piercings all over. Nipples pierced. Aaron, can you imagine Somebody getting their nipples pierced? It's just sick. Can you imagine that? Okay. And then across his stomach, I'll never forget. What's that? Tattoos. Yeah. A lot. And then this guy Has anarchy Tattooed across his stomach. And I was like, Holy shit.

[34:00]What is going on? Because even the guy next to me Was like, Who the fuck is this guy? He was like a junior. He was like, Who the fuck is this guy? This guy was absolutely Fucking terrifying. And then it turned out He was the real deal. He would come back And be like, Oh yeah, I had sex with this woman last night. She was a R.L. R.O. And R.L. And we're like, What's an R.O. And R.L.? And he goes, Rather old And rather large. And he's like, I woke up In a kid's teepee And a dog had shit In there with me. Every story was like that. I would go down And play basketball Like every Saturday Just so I could be like, Hey, Anything happen last night? Hung over, Didn't want to play basketball at all, But I had to hear These stories firsthand. He could dunk too. He's one of like two people I ever saw dunk in St. Olaf. He could throw down. Two people? Yeah, Him and Coach Kaz. Okay, I'm going to show you guys How to dunk real quick. That'd be awesome. I call this one the Rob. I feel like Copen Might've come close once. Maybe it's only one. Maybe he's the only one I saw. Russ, You want to go first or me?

[35:00]You go ahead. Listen, guys, Apology of the week. I got to do an apology Of the week. All right, Let's play it. Here we go. Apology of the week. This apology Is going out To none other than Russell. Our very own. Beck does it better At podcasts. I got to say, He was. Oh, yeah. I've got to apologize For my wife Fucking up Russell's Night the other night. Okay, She fucking blew it. All right. We are flying into town. We set up a dinner With Russ. My wife is like, I got to meet this roommate Of Russell's. I'm so interested in this. We get together. We come together. And not only that, It is our anniversary dinner. It is my wife and I's 20th anniversary. And we, So we love hanging out With friends rather than Just us two for some reason. She always says, Let's get other people Involved in this. We don't have to just be us two. And I'm like, what? Fine apples. We agree that we're going To go meet Russell At dinner at 8 p.m. Okay. Jenny's flight coming in At like five. No problem. Well, it turns out

[36:00]Jenny's flight was at 3.30. Okay. New York City. Want to guess what time She left the apartment? That's right. 2.30. She left an hour Before the flight. I don't know. She fucking gets there And then tries to check a bag. And she's like, Yeah, They won't let you check a bag A half hour Before the flight leaves. I was like, I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. I was like, You know, They won't let you on After 50 minutes. So then she goes through security And she's like, Oh, I got slowed down In security big time. They pulled out all my weights. She brought all their weights Into security So they pulled them out. She's like, Why? I'm like, You know that's going to happen. You get, Nobody gets stopped in security As much as she does, Whether it's powders, Weights, An espresso machine, Whatever it is. Okay. That time in Ireland. She brought an entire Espresso machine. Oh, of course. Of course. I've got a picture Where it burst Open and the coffee pods Spilled the ground. And so I helped pick it up. No, I didn't. I didn't help pick it up. I took a picture of it. And I do what I always do In security, Which is I walk away from her As if we're in the Thomas Crown Affair. We've just pulled off

[37:00]Some sort of heist And I need to get out Of there very quickly. So of course, She then texts me, Oh, I missed my flight. Now, Meanwhile, You want to guess Who's driving south From the cabin At this point To pick her up In three hours? Me. So then I have to turn around, Drive a half hour back home. She gets a later flight For that night. She's supposed to land At eight. We're going to go meet Russell. He's changed the time. We're going to go meet him At nine. Okay. Gentlemen, The fucking flight Goes around Minneapolis, Does not land Until like 930. Okay. Now, I totally forget We're going to dinner with Russ And this is where it's my bad. I totally forget. Forget to text him And tell Jenny Lance, Oh yeah, It's 930. It's a half hour After we're supposed to be there. We're not going to be there For another half hour. So not only is Russell there. 36 minutes. What's that? 36 minutes from 930. 36 minutes. I am going to be late. Okay. Did not tell Russell, Did not inform him. That's on me. And, But I got to say this. We were going to miss food service Because we got there at 10.

[38:00]Food service stopped at 945. So of course, Jenny says, Well, I want the halibut Because she was looking At the fucking menu. Oh, I'm driving. I can't look at a menu. So I have to do the, Russell, Just order something for me. Hoping. Hoping that he would drop the ball So I could get in here And get his ass so bad. And guess what? Russell fucking nailed it. Okay. Russell, Explain your strategy For ordering for me Because it was one of the most Beautiful things I've ever seen In my life. And that includes The birth of my children. I ordered Rob the placenta. I didn't think it was going over As well as it did, But him and Angelina Jolie Sat down and they enjoyed. Yeah. It was live. Isn't this supposed to be salty? Like way salty? Was it on the floor Or did they have it on the table? What we did was we, We heard that Jenny Had a specific thing She wanted. This came through via text message. She wanted the halibut. She wanted a certain salad. So the, The, The waitress is coming up to us And you can tell She's kind of be like, Hey, We got to move this along Or whatever. So I pushed it till 944.

[39:00]I put our order in For the whole table One minute before The orders are due. Wow. Oh my God. Yep. So not only are we not showing up, Russell's having to fend off servers, Trying to serve him, Trying to go home. So Russell is forced To order drink after drink. Yes. Perfect opportunity To split a bill At the end of the night, By the way, When you've gotten there early And I was going to say we did, I do feel like we kind of made up Because we did split it equally. And I was like, Wow, that's a lot. And then on the way out, I was like, Well, yeah, that's right. Russell was there For like an hour Mowing down drinks Before I got there. Then I split the bill. I got suckered. So Russell, What'd you do? So we ordered A couple appetizers, A bison tartare. There was some sort of Raw fish appetizer, Matt. You would have been all over. But I told him The salad has to come out later And you can bring out The appetizers. The salad has to wait Because I didn't want Rob's lovely bride To be annoyed That her salad Had been sitting out there For a while.

[40:00]So I specifically said That's got to come out later. But the two ladies Were ordering halibuts. We put in the two fish orders. And so what I did is I figured we're gonna order Two things. I'll let Rob pick Which whatever one. I got the duck And the lamb. And I'm like, Yes, I'll put the lamb In front of Rob. And if he doesn't like it, He can take the duck And he can take the duck. Oh, my God. I mean, it's brilliant. That's, wow. It's brilliant Because I did, I mean, I did him dirty. I said, You got to order me something. And he knows I'm going to get his ass If he orders the wrong thing. He knows I am. I'll be so happy If he orders me Like some fucked up shit. I'm going to be thrilled. But Russell, I got to say, Good job. Hats off. Wow. Nice work. Okay. Sorry again That we were very, Very late to dinner. And once again, It was not my fault. I don't know if 66 minutes Is very, I think it's more than very. It's, yeah, It's not late anymore. You missed one reservation And had to make a new one. It's bad. Russell, You must have been So hungry at that point. No, I was, We were having drinks. It was fine. You know what? Oh, my God. This is on like a Wednesday,

[41:00]By the way. It would bother me If I showed up late To something like that. But if someone shows up, Like I'm cool. I could sit there For an hour and chill And be fine. Incredible. I will say this. I think one of the problems Is that when I screw up, I say something, I'm like, Oh, I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did this. Like, I really berate myself. And she's like, Yeah, I screwed up. And I'm like, And don't you hate yourself? Aren't you going to say Something bad about yourself When I get some relish? And she didn't. And I was like, This is not as satisfying as. Feels like you guys Grew up pretty differently, But I'm not going to get into that. No, I think it's fine. That definitely hasn't been emphasized With my weeks here in the cabin. Maybe my parents saying things to me And then me saying Those same things to my kids And Realizing that the cycle Is just continuing. And my wife saying, Why did you say that? I said, well, My mom said it to me And it started off a whole thing. That hasn't happened. So that's fine. We could go to Matt's

[42:00]For one good If we were drowning. Did Matt, you already do it? No. Oh, fuck. Matt, we're only going. I was going to do it. I was going to say something, But I thought, Well, let's just see How long this goes on. I thought he was playing The game along with me. No, I'm sorry. Or Rob's just fishing And he's fishing And he's fishing And he's trying to, He's stretching. Stretch it. We got to stretch it. He's vamping. Russell's hamstrings Are cramped up. Yeah. I don't have too much. I went to, I've been playing, There's so many concerts In Minneapolis this summer. We've talked about it. There has been, There will be, And it is too much for me To just try to keep up with. I did Circle Vampire Weekend Was at the Armory On the 30th and 31st. And I just, It's turned into My new favorite band Or Like in a top 10 guy. I listen to him all the time, But so I went to the, Went to the Vampire Weekend show At the Armory, Which was awesome. And so they're crazy. John, I don't know If you've ever gotten Into them at all, But all of a sudden

[43:00]They've got like six members And they've got like This crazy percussion. They almost are set up Like a jam band And they almost are Like a new age jam. Like a modern day Weisberg Panic? It's weird. Yeah. I mean, it really is. They've got the piano. They've got the bongos. They've got the, You know, The fiddle. I mean, they've got All of this stuff. And so it's, It's, it's pretty, It's pretty fun to watch And pretty fun to listen to. But I was sitting there thinking, Like I used to say, You know, If I want to do anything, If I was going to have My dream job, I'd be the bullpen catcher For the Twins Or something like that. And I'm changing that To I think It would be awesome To own the Armory Or run the Armory Or something like that. Or first dad Or something along those lines. So if you guys had like, You know, You had it when you're Growing up teens, 20s, 30s, Right now, 45, 44, Whatever we are, If I'm 43, You know, What would be Your dream job Right now As it is? Because I think it would be Running maybe first dad. I think I'd like first dad More than the Armory even.

[44:00]But I think that would be awesome. That would be fun. You could just go to Any show you wanted. Any show. And you could kind of control Who comes a little bit, right? You could try. Yeah, you can kind of like I mean, Because the place is packed And they sold out two nights. And so there was a ton. But like it was The sound was a little weird. A little weird. And I was the whole time I was thinking like This would be great If it was that first dad. I mean, anything's greater First dad because that holds Like 2,500 people As opposed to 8,000 At the Armory, Something like that. But I just thought It would be great. You could just try to see Who you could get. So, John, how about you? You work in the corporate America. What would be your Dream job right now? Well, I feel like I'm being redundant here Because of my rolling going. But my dream job Is to be on a PGA Tour. I keep telling my wife That I'm close To getting my card. I'm nowhere near it, Obviously. But I would love to Every Thursday to Sunday. And in my case, Thursday and Friday Because I wouldn't make the cut Just to be golfing For a living. And whatever the League minimum was, I could live off of that. And you'd be collecting The big checks too, Wouldn't you? Plus, you'd be on that

[45:00]LIV tour so fast. You would have started That shit. You'd be like, Hey These Saudis, They're not bad guys. No. Give me your money, Saudis. That journalist just Fell into a bunch Of running saws. He fell into that. That was an accident. Oh, no. I have heard from the Sheik That was an accident. Trust me. I got to say, You know what I think My dream job would be? If I could be Like the guy, The producer guy In like a radio show. Like not the main guy, But if I was like behind And I could just pipe in Or like on a podcast, On a popular podcast And I could just pipe in Every once in a while With a funny thing. I think that would be The job for me. And the more, The older I get, The more I'm like, Maybe I should have gone Into like sound engineering. Like just figuring out How to put stuff together. I do get a kick out Of like editing this podcast. I said to you guys From last week, I should have gone to DeVry. I've been, I've been getting all my, What was the one thing, You know what I did? This is the biggest

[46:00]Fucking mistake I made Is I got way into VCR repair. God damn it. God damn it. Okay. That was my bad. I should not have done that. We're thinking that's true. Russell, what's your dream job? Oh, you're muted, Russell. The main host of the podcast. Oh my God. We should do that one time, Russell. You should pick an episode Where you can take my job And I'll take your job. Too good. The Russ and John show. The Russ and John show. We all show to the Russ and John show. That's got a, That's got a tune to it. That's kind of a nice little ring. Actually, it doesn't get As many downloads. I've never heard that before. It doesn't get as many downloads As your regular episodes, Which doesn't make sense Because people, People should just be downloading All of our shit Every time it comes out And listening. Even if it's a repeat. Okay, please. You still have to click Download on that, folks. I'd like to be a butcher In like a very small butcher shop. Just like one animal a day. Just like I'd like to get in early And break the thing down And then be able to like Give people

[47:00]Tips like, hey, This thing right here, This oyster steak, That's what you want. That's the special thing today. Yeah. Hey, I got more veal. This is a great job. I love chopping up this baby calf Who's never seen the light of day. Yippee! Your wife's, You come home And you're just covered In blood and guts And your wife's like, Yeah, actually, This is not working out As a vegetarian. Yeah, that's true. It wouldn't work out so well, Perhaps, yeah. Yeah. Russell, rolling going. How's it going with you? Rolling going. Rob, if you could pull up the song, I'm going to pull a mat here And listen to There Goes My Hero By the Foo Fighters. Uh-oh. Wow. Great song. I didn't I didn't really know The whole chorus to this Until maybe like a year ago. It never made sense. I don't know the chorus. I just like yell along. I didn't know The last thing they said. I didn't know. I don't either. What did they say? You guys know? They say he's ordinary. There he goes. He's ordinary. And I never knew That they said That he's ordinary At the end of it. Russell. I went to the Foo Fighters Last week. The Foo Fighters Were at Target Field.

[48:00]Oh, yeah. I've never seen The Foo Fighters before. Have you guys seen them Before or not? No. I think I've seen them Four times. Four times? Yeah. Foo times? Great live show. Foo times? Yeah. Russell, What did you think? It was a lot of fun. You know, The opening band, I don't even know The name of the opening band. I sent a few of you guys The picture Because there was like No one in there. Pretenders opened. That's crazy. No, no, no. No, no, no. There's an opening band And then the Pretenders Went second. I don't know What you call them. There was a band Before the Pretenders. The Pretenders killed it. They were awesome. Lead singer. She rocked. Rob, they played That Rush Limbaugh intro song. I knew you would be pumped When you played that one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know him more Of an NFL commentator, Rush Limbaugh. Back on the chain gang rock For the Pretenders. Yep. The lead crushed it And then I'll Stand By You, An absolute rock anthem. Like that was, The whole crowd Was going apeshit for it. It was a great closer Or whatever, Whenever they played that But they killed it.

[49:00]But the Foo Fighters, They were amazing. The first thing I'll say About going to A Foo Fighters show, I know a lot of their songs. I probably know 10, 12 of their songs. I don't know all of them But Dave Grohl Is a fantastic front man. Like there is no part Of being at that concert Where you feel like You got, You spent too much money Or that he's not giving it Everything he's got. Wow. Matt, I don't know If you ever got that vibe But Grohl just seems Into every second He's up there. He's giving it Every inch he's got. I thought he was great. I'll tell you, The first three times I saw him, Yeah, absolutely. The fourth time I saw him, He had broken his leg. Oh, there we go. So they didn't cancel the show But they essentially Put him on like this Game of Thrones type throne. Oh, okay. And then they had, They were like rolling it around. He kind of got up A little bit But like it completely Ruined the show for me. If Not completely But it was just, It was half the energy That it was, Would have been If he was up there Doing his thing But I know what you mean. So there were a couple Other things that I really Enjoyed about the show. The first was, They do the thing

[50:00]Where they go around And introduce all The other band members And they do it And maybe a lot of bands Do it like this, Matt, But when they introduce The band members, They all play like A famous song For 30 seconds. So we got to hear ACDC, Sabotage, The bass player Played Sabotage. One of the band members Played Blitzkrieg Bop By the Ramones. It was, So they're just rocking out To these like songs That you would know Even if you're not A big Foo Fighters fan, Right? That's great. Hello. Hello. L7 opened for them. It was a female punk band. I didn't know them But L7 Was the opener. You're right. They were pretty good. They were good. Dodger Dog. Foot Long. So you could hear Everything, Russell. You could hear All the words And all the music And all the songs. We sat in the middle level Like the club level As far over To the stage as we could. So all the way over On the side Like Matt says. You got to go on the side. It wasn't the greatest acoustics But it was definitely better Than being at U.S. Bank. You had a great show.

[51:00]The two things That I wanted to share With you guys too Was one, They shouted out A musical hero When they played My Hero. He brought up One of his musical heroes Which was, I believe, A Minnesota band. I believe the Replacements guy Had played And talked about this band Or Aaron, You have it. Hooster Doo? Are they like a Minnesota band? Hooster Doo. Bob Mould. We got him on the list. I think in the 300s. It translates to Do You Remember In Norwegian. Yep. There we go. So he called them out Before he played this But this was the two, The one thing I didn't really love And I actually brought this up With a coworker And I realized It's a mistake. He brought out his daughter To like sing one of the songs That he's done With his daughter recently. I'm out on that shit. Drink time. I'm just out on that shit. I'm out on it. Like I don't need that In a concert. Like hey, We're paying to see The Foo Fighters. I don't need you to do like the, You know, It'd be one thing If she's 12 years old And it's kind of cute Or whatever. She's probably almost 20 now. Like come on, We don't need this. What are we talking about? Right? Got to have her own Thing now. It's that Joe Mauer shit

[52:00]You're always talking about, Russell. It is. Everybody's talking About their fucking families. We don't want to hear About your family. We don't care how famous, You are not that famous Where we care about your family. You know what I mean? Like just don't. I barely like it When my friends Talk about their kids. Okay? Much less famous people I don't even know. Knock it off. I don't want to hear About my friend's kid And their date Who's 6'2". Fuck it. I'm not interested. I care about that. But the other thing, Can I share the one adventure? Tower over me. The one adventure we had Was in between bands. It was kind of raining A little bit. We had moved back And kind of like We're sitting in a little bar area Or moving around And at one point We had a few drinks Leading up to the day. What? Let's put it that way. And the upsides Your roommate is like We need to go find Mini donuts. And I was like I don't think They're going to have Mini donuts at a concert. Centerfield. Backbeat Centerfield. I know where they're at. We walked back there. We did like the 30 minute Tour of Target Field Trying to find them In that Centerfield spot. I know where you're Talking about. Yeah. They did not have them.

[53:00]So a 30 minute quest For mini donuts In between bands Fell short. Mini donuts Are one of those things too Where when it gets In your head You want mini donuts And there is nothing There's nothing Adjacent to it. It's not like It's like ice cream And you know Maybe do churros And maybe I mean Maybe But you can't He's got a point I would eat a churro Get your ass Over here Tom Thumb I want to buy I'll tell you what When I was a kid And they had those Fucking things at the fair Where you could see The dough go down the oil And then they flipped it I was like I would And then it would come And then they're I was like That was my dream job I was like Could I please work here Please I just want to eat Because mini donuts Are so good God Russell Now I want a mini donut And I'm fucked I can never get one Russell is having issues I mean guys I don't know Mini donuts All time fair food Right like I go to a fair Mini donuts It's killer Picture this Aaron Right now You're eating a corn dog Damn that sounds good

[54:00]Doesn't it A corn dog Put some mustard on there All time worst fair food That you can get Giant turkey leg I went to a fair recently Well not recently A couple years ago And I was like Hey Gotta get the giant turkey leg It's gonna be awesome I'm gonna look like A big barbarian Walking around Guess what It sucks It is a giant turkey leg And after about four bites You're like There's not as much meat On there as you would hope Yeah Oh I love all these Tendons and sinew Like it's just That's how I do it Can I tell you My wife fucked me recently Okay She went to North Carolina To watch Apollo Is your hamstrings okay You feeling okay No They're never okay guys Okay They were It was my anniversary You think my ham I mean I was I was like that guy Whose dad had to help him Across the finish line You know Oh my son's been Fucking his wife so hard On the 20th anniversary I gotta help this guy Across the finish line My dad's back there pushing He's like pushing my butt in Come on You can do it son I believe in you

[55:00]Were you hopping around Like your leg was broken Kinda like I was smoking It's crazy wack funky Here's the thing Is that She went to North Carolina For a powerlifting meet And I said Please M-E-A-T I wish Okay Cause I said Hey Get me some North Carolina Barbecue sauce That's all I want For me to trip I want that vinegary Barbecue sauce She comes back And she goes Well I forgot about it There Cause I got distracted While I was at the airport I know what she was doing She was rushing for a plane Cause she probably Got there really late Then She said Well I ordered you Some on Amazon And I was like Well that's not I Listen I So I said Thank you of course Okay Cause I had learned My lesson about She knows what I'm mad She's like Santa Claus For what I'm mad Russell So how did What's the rest of the concert What about it Did you get a t-shirt I wanna know Did you get a t-shirt You know what Matt I did not get a t-shirt This time The lines were probably 200 people long

[56:00]And I was like I'm not waiting in the line I'm done with the t-shirts Good for you At concerts I might not be done With t-shirts At pro wrestling events But we'll talk about that Next week Oh wow Russell I'm putting that Right in my tickler file Tenderhooks We are on Tenderhooks Listen We are talking about Your wide butt In your How much You know what Aaron I'm telling you My wife's gained in weight I told you this My wife's gained in weight I'm tightening down Our toilet seats At my house Like crazy All the time now I love That's how I know Things are getting good In the household Shit Things are getting good In my household Because The toilet seats Are askew And askew Land Okay It looks like Like an F1 driver Just got out of there You know what I mean Like you pop the steering wheel Off and you hand it That's what that toilet seat Looks like in her house All the time Gotta tighten that stuff now Listen We are talking about Homogenic by Bjork So This is This is Bjork's like Can't believe it Third I think third or fourth album

[57:00]And basically before this Bjork came out of a pop group Called the Sugar Cubes In Iceland A lot of her albums Were very pop centered Very kind of like Had that You know Sound And on this one She's like I want to go a totally Different direction And I think like This is A part of it is like When I think about Bjork I think about her videos Right We've talked about How important videos Were in the early 90s Right And now we're talking about Homogenic coming out in 97 When you think about That video Where she's getting Lifted up on the crane You know what I mean And the crowd's just Getting bigger and bigger To me that was something I remember forever Of just how like Stunning that was So basically Bjork went to Spain To record this After a stalker Tried to kill her And then actually Killed himself On social media So it was like This huge traumatic event For her And so she was in Kind of an apartment In Spain All by herself With just her And a producer And she said I want to have an album That's a simple sound And it's one flavor We've been talking recently About artists that like

[58:00]To mix it up on the album Or just have this She wanted to go With one sound And she wanted something That was kind of new Now remember This is 97 This is before Kid A Kid A actually Radiohead said That they listened To this album And it helped them Inspire Kid A Oh that makes sense She returns She basically tries To make an album That's kind of a Kind of an Electro landscape Right And then is putting in She's very One thing about Bjork Is that she's very Very picky About every sound Every bit of the album Oh the cat's coming Across for Rosalind Oh Jesus Christ Every I hope it turns around And shows its butt To the camera Oh I want to see A cat's butt Oh look at now Aaron's kind of coming Out like Aaron It looks now like the cat Is giving birth to Aaron Aaron's kind of peeking Around the cat's butt There it is Thank you I knew it A cat cannot help But do that I know enough about cats Rob take a picture That is a feral cat butt That is looking right at us Disgusting Stupid cat I can see the lice Coming off right on there

[59:00]When I grab that cat So basically This whole album Is kind of produced Just her And she had this weird thing Where like people Would come in Like she had a Babysitter That came in and said Oh I kind of like This equipment you're using She's like okay You're going to help me With the album Like she was pulling Amateurs to help She was singing out On her porch On part of this And basically She was supposed to Tour in 98 With Radiohead But it got cancelled Because the changing Of the stage Between the two acts Proved to be too cumbersome And they're like This tour can't happen It's too much It's too much And like I said We're talking about I think Listen I put on this album In the car When I was driving up To the city Which time Which time Before or after Jenny's flight delay Oh my god Both Okay And my wife said My wife said What is this Within one song She goes what is this I said it was Bjork It's for the podcast She goes You need to change this Okay It is I don't know I didn't know really Anything about Bjork How did you guys listen And then I listened

[1:00:00]To this album Lifting Weights And it was better As background noise It was more enjoyable But sitting down And actually listening to it Was tough for me There's some legitimately Terrifying sounds On here Right And then it'll be like Oh there's like This is fun It's nice Her voice is cool Or there's like Some actual grooves On here And then there's some stuff That's like Well this sounds like A person being tortured Or worse I mean there's some Really scary shit on here I agree Totally Do you guys Any Did any of you guys Ever listen to Bjork Before this album Like as have you ever She's been She's been too weird For me Yeah She's been too weird For me So I've never Never got into her Yeah I'm telling you guys Try putting this On as background It's not bad It's kind of Kind of fun Definitely probably Not a vibe album You'd want in college Hunter This is I saw this described As techno futurism Okay And just to give you An idea of what Bjork's Up to In case you don't know Anything about Bjork The video Is a close-up Of a bald Bjork As she transforms Into a techno bear So that's just Going to give you An idea In Aaron's book

[1:01:00]I did recently Oh yeah I was I'm trying to finish That book now I did recently Listen to her album Vesper Teen Because a guy named Andrew Naznitsky Who's a Rap writer Was like This is actually A great album And I enjoyed it But I feel like My Bjork window Closed I think this is Very cool But I'm not Sure I'm ever Going to be able To really dive into it I guess Do you have to Be there in 97 To understand What was going on Musically To realize how Revolutionary This album is Like Huff Daddy Mace All up in your face That's true Right That's an interesting Thing about What else Was going on Lauryn Hill I don't know You know I don't know I mean I guess Where is this Compared to Radiohead Right Is this Right in the middle Of our lane Right Yeah But this is post OK Computer Right OK Computer 97 So this is the This is the same This is the same Year as OK Computer

[1:02:00]So it's kind of It's not You can't really say It totally inspired That Radiohead sound Now we have Yoga Now Yoga Is a song J-O-G-A I mean this voice It's a gorgeous voice It's a gorgeous sound I think This is about A friend of hers Who was her best friend And Tour masseuse Guys This is like If This is like If the If the Portishead album Like really went Far outside Would you be my best friend Who also massages me Whenever I want Like how much Would I have to pay you How much would I have to pay you To be my personal masseuse 500k a year That's it Aaron Have you no self-respect That's terrible Like that should be a good I'll do it for $4.50 Oh OK We might have to do What I call He needs Thursdays Through Fridays off We might have to do What I call The javelin test Where you grab onto me And I see how tight You can squeeze How far you can run with it Yeah exactly

[1:03:00]Unravel Is this that Weezer song Whoa whoa I heard it in the background Good call This of course Was my wife and I's First dance at my wedding But She Part of this album Is she's talking And singing Which is what Icelandic choirs I read are famous For doing Aaron Tell us what you know About Icelandic choirs I know they're famous For talking and singing I learned that On a podcast tonight Damn Aaron God that podcast Must be really good And not at all All over the place I don't know anything About Icelandic music I do I think the radio Head comparison is good I think they both are In that same vein Of intellectual music That also doesn't Lose touch with Human emotion And soul I think it's a really Cool spot to be Well and who they are They're not writing it For the radio Yes A la Buff Daddy And Mace All up in your face And I also think There's a difference On this album Between the first songs

[1:04:00]And when we get Toward the end Because these first songs There's some gorgeous Melodies Those are earlier In the album Beer can sing The shit Out of these songs Listen It's sonically lush It kind of has Everything I should like But then the problem Is it sounds like Your speakers blow out In about the third To the last song And you're like What's going on here Bachelorette This was actually Nominated for a Grammy For best short form video Which I didn't think Grammys were about But okay Do you Do you guys ever Watch reality TV Speaking of The Bachelorette No No None I live in reality I don't need reality TV So you guys don't even Watch like Dance Moms What the hell is Dance Moms Okay Well you'll never guess What it's about Aaron But I did buy a shirt From Dance Moms I'm just going to say That right now I wear around An Abby Lee Studio shirt And the people who get it They love it They think it's great

[1:05:00]It's a shirt where It brings smiles To people's hearts Bring a smile To their hearts John you don't watch Any reality TV No it's I bonded with my Girls over it We watch The Bachelorette Bachelor It's terrible I had a kid at school This year Who was obsessed With The Golden Bachelor 7th grade boy And all he wanted To talk about Was The Golden Bachelor Which Aaron Was the Was a older man Finding older women And so you know I was watching Because to me Oh I need to find Older women online I wonder where I'm going to go Bing All neon lines Yeah I'm not against I'm not against reality TV In fact I used to bond With Russell watching Things like Survivor And such I just now I'm just like I don't watch it now But I think you know If that's your niche That's great Temptation Island I remember that one Yep I remember that one Do you guys ever see Fuckboy Island Yeah oh yeah But they call them F-Boys They'd be like Oh there's so many F-Boys on this island And I was like Oh they drove around In a van

[1:06:00]They picked up women And then filmed them Oh that's Bang Brothers Nevermind That's all right That well Oh god Are you thinking Of the short-lived Porn series Called Captain Stabbing Where famously They would have sex With women on a boat And then at the end Throw them off And that's when You knew you were slime When you're watching that You're just like Jesus Christ What's my problem I watch an ad for this Again guys The ads on my porn Recently It's It has gone once again To ugly old women Are in your area I'm like god damn it Oh no You're not even Trying anymore You and You and JC Are on the same wavelength There are some ROs and RLs In your area Oh okay They have their own Kids teepee All near You know what the problem Is Matt I am the lady now With a toy teepee Like that's me I am the older person Me having sex With that woman now Would be totally normal Happy anniversary And she would go To basketball She'd go to basketball On Saturday And say I was out there

[1:07:00]With an RO RL Yeah This guy shit his pants Driving up to the cities All neon like And she would dunk One hand Is this the one That kind of has two parts Like the second part Gets a little rowdier Of course Or am I thinking Of the next song I think you might be Let's see Because she does this thing You know honestly It's a little bit Like a little bit Like Prince does Once in a while Where he kind of Makes you earn it I think I've talked About this before Artists who are Willing to challenge You sonically To get to the Pretty stuff And you've got to be Willing to sit through The stuff that's like Well that's harsh To get to the pretty Stuff like this And see now We're starting to get More of that static Coming in from the Background She made this From a poem Called Techno Prayer Techno Prayer And it made me think About computer issues That I have You know what I mean Like to me There's one Plug-in at school That if I plug My computer in To show the screen On it doesn't work Ever So I have to like

[1:08:00]Do a work around With Apple TV Do you guys have Any computer issues That just bug the shit Out of you I hate At home Printing issues It's never What the fuck You printing It never works Oh I don't know Everyone's like One thing a month Right Return labels That's it Just return labels Yeah so it's not like It's worth like Actually fixing Because you rarely Need to use it So But if I'm at home Like I was printing Off a lot of lineups Lately for Little league baseball Right And I usually do them At work You know Just Why not do it there But every once in a while You forget and be like Ah shoot I gotta print it off here So It just never works right I'm convinced you Could be a millionaire though If you just put out a sign Outside your house That said You can print one thing off Here right now For $20 Because there are Sometimes where I'd be like Hell yeah I'll pay $20 right now I need to print this shit off I don't know where There's a printer I'm not going to work Like Yeah Man work though I'm printing off like Hundreds of blank pages At a time Let's see Five years This is where the static

[1:09:00]Start to get to Yeah it sounds like Double dribble That sounds like The double dribble intro It does It does It sounds like an Early Yeah Nintendo music You're right Mumble It could be right Right here Listen to this It sounds like dribbling The slam dunk sound Oh John Could this Be A A Tribute To double dribble By Pierre Most likely Because she's probably Like the number one Fan of it Wow I remember When double dribble Came out I was like This is the best Chicago Chicago House Yeah That's exactly It's like No no no This isn't Hulk Hogan This is King Slender Okay you've got it All wrong And it's not your janitor It's Mario Okay That'd be crazy If your school janitor Looked like Mario That'd be too much Russell you doing okay By the way Yeah I might have to Be done here I've been puking

[1:10:00]For an hour I ate something I feel horrible Right now Do you want Do you want to We're all Is that what's going on Get through the episode We gotta finish this episode I'll just let you guys Keep rolling with it If I jump in I jump in Just keep going I don't I don't know what I ate My stomach And you know what that means Tonight guys right Only one episode One episode Russell we've been talking So much food stuff too That's terrible This must have been The worst one I'll tell you what Do the next song I'm going to do my list And then I might be out All right Sounds good All right Immature This is kind of Her looking back At herself Do you guys think You would have liked Yourself as a middle schooler There's no way right Probably more than I like myself now Sometimes I'm teaching kids And I'm like This fucking kid Talks all the time Just wants to get attention Will say anything To get attention I hate this kid Everything's a joke Yeah Something there's rivets Kid gets back In the time machine Yeah

[1:11:00]Everything's a joke Sometimes people Want attention Because they want To win a Grammy Did you guys Know Bjork Is that how it's Pronounced Aaron Bjork Yeah I think you're Doing great Yeah I think you got it Has been nominated I believe for 16 Grammy nominations And has never won Wow And has never won 16 nominations No wins So I thought we could Do a list Of the greatest Artists ever With the most Grammy nominations Without a win Wow I like it I like it Five Four Three Two One That's crazy You think one would Be from Vietnam You'd have at least One win in there Oh my god That's not funny At all First up on the list Is everyone's Favorite Olympic Correspondent It's Snoop Dogg 17 nominations No wins Never won Wow That was awesome Yeah wow Never won best Rap record In anything Even JC got more Grammys than Snoop

[1:12:00]That's my new thing I do the crip walk At every dance Show I can do it Wow Yep Yeah It's a good thing That's the thing You should move You gotta finish your move I stole it from Snoop From the crips Yeah One of those nominations Was on the song California Girls With Katy Perry Also her She didn't make the list 13 nominations No wins So one of those Is for those two That's crazy Wow That's crazy That Snoop doesn't have a Grammy He's Boy He's tied with one other person With 17 And I don't know If any of you guys know This guy's music Or into it Maybe Aaron knows it A little more than I do It's Brian McKnight 17 nominations No wins He's much of a producer Though Is that Marchena McBride's husband But Matt He's been nominated Five times For best male R&B vocal performer So it's not just Producing Yeah But he's He's a huge Background guy I mean you know He's behind the scene Guy too

[1:13:00]For all these All I can see Is that huge guy In the background Listen I mean he's just like He's a little too smooth The late 80s Early 90s This is what This was I remember this song From being on the wall At a junior high dance Watching other people dance This one? They played this one At your high school Junior high dance? I definitely remember this Oh yeah Yeah Wow For sure Wow Yeah Aaron I went to a sensual Junior high You did Yeah much more sensual Than I Well I told you About the jam We got We got November rain Oh my god You got November rain At your junior high For a dance? Yes That's an awkward one Right? You're like Don't you think That you need somebody What? How am I supposed To dance to this? Oh grinding In November rain? Awesome You guys Let Russell Get through The goddamn list Shut up Kids I'm here With this giant cake I hope nothing goes wrong And this November rain Starts playing You're like Oh shit Somebody goes

[1:14:00]Diving into God I want to dive Into a cake So bad after that I feel like Aaron Was the kid in middle school That got to pick The playlist though I bet Aaron Was the one Pitching the songs I don't Maybe Could you imagine? I mean I You guys know I picked the homecoming theme See Back in the day Imagine You remember I do remember Aaron Long time ago We talked about that We made fun of you For years for that shit John Lennon ass In high school Still doing this Four years later You still got the glasses too If your kid If your kid's thing At school The PTA theme Is imagine I'm going to be Very suspicious Aaron I'm going to think You don't have range I'm doing it Next on the list With 15 nominations No wins This is a guitar hero Favorite Joe Satriani You guys know this one Oh fuck yeah Alien surfer buddy Satch Boogie is the song Oh shit Oh yeah Yeah All but All but one of his Nominations Were for best Rock instrumental Performance Yeah

[1:15:00]14 nominations For that Never won You know I don't know How many other Rock instruments I would love to know Who he lost to We're not actually Going to look it up He taught Kurt Hammett And Stevie Vi Did he really He was their teacher Yeah Mimo you got to know Some of the Some of the people That would be in this Category right Isn't there some Of those guitarists That you follow That would be in this Category It all started with Yngwie from Sweden Probably Oh Malmsteen Yep Probably knows Bjork Bjork Probably All those What kind of person Is buying this album And listening to it Right Me John Yeah John wants to play like this John at what age Did you buy this album I was 16 Oh my god You're like This is it This is what I want It's like It's like John And a bunch of 45 year old guys Who just got divorced Yeah It was a weird Cross section At that section Of the on cue video I just bought a Camaro My wife will let me have it And now I'm in here And I'm going to get this Joe Satriani

[1:16:00]CD John's like Ah my future Has come to pass So you just sit at home And you listen to this shit Just rock Instrumentals like this Yeah Or in my car In my i-rock I mean it sounds like I'm playing Iron Man off-road Remember that game With the three wheels You actually had an i-rock No God Oh God That'd be awesome It also just sounds like You're at like a A wild hockey game Like for some reason All they The wild All they play in the background Is guitars Yeah that's definitely A hockey game background You guys gotta Stop talking Let him get through his list Well Not gonna do that I don't feel that bad But I feel terrible that Russ is so sick He's barfing his brains out So Russ has been getting up Like every couple minutes We didn't know where he was going I mean honestly guys We all thought the same thing He was like He likes this podcast so much That he was Okay Squeezing the juice Okay As the wheeze Once told us He's such a warrior And instead he's been Barfing his guts out And then coming back To do a list Now if you notice A bad timing Didn't quite get to finish the list

[1:17:00]All right So we're now We're sitting here Waiting for Russell to come back And I will demand Now Man Wait until you hear my rolling My intro into rolling Going this week It's gonna be so long It's gonna be the longest Intro to rolling going Because we don't have to do A second episode tonight Okay We're good Yep All right I'm gonna pee While we're waiting for Russell Oh boy Hey leave your camera on Leave your camera on I'm gonna edit this thing Go ahead Russell Next on the list Next on the list With 14 Dierks Bentley You guys country music fans Dierks Bentley Yeah Dierks is one of the top In the world I figured out I remember I used to be I've started listening To 90s country only Up at the cabin And I can't I can't get into this stuff So I used to be A huge country fan Hello Huge This guy used to make me Bench press down At the weight room In college all the time That's a joke For about five people He did Oh John John's gone

[1:18:00]Okay go ahead Russ Keep going Last song on the list Rob this is one of your favorites It's Martin McGroom's wife It's Martina McBride She had She had 14 Martin McGroom She had 14 Martina McBride had 14 Martina McBride is good She is From the Speaking of the 90s She's awesome Russell That was You know what Russell This list Is a real loser Of Grammy losers It is You're right Wow Good one That would be a bummer Though when you're like Oh I've been nominated For 14 Grammys You'll be like You didn't win once I have one other thing With this album That we have to talk about Before I sign off You guys will appreciate this I was looking at Beck and Bjork I figured There's got to be Some connection there There was actually A music journal Article About a 40 page article A scholarly article Aaron Called Bach And Bjork Walk into a bar Reclassifying

[1:19:00]Harmonic progressions To accommodate Popular music repertoire In traditional music Theory class Did you ever have Bjork or Beck In your music theory classes I don't I didn't Because I didn't get that far I didn't get past 20th century I stopped I did four semesters That was all I could handle Well this article Proposed juxt Juxtapositioning Art and popular music Repertoire With a single Integrated paradigm For teaching Harmonic progressions The whole Like 40 page article Was about harmonies And specifically Pop music And Bjork And Beck I thought that was Pretty cool That's incredible But there was one other thing That we had to talk With Bjork and Beck Do you guys remember MTV The celebrity death match Stuff back in the day Oh yeah of course Yes Did you guys already Watch it without me or not No No Oh shit Okay yeah here Robbie Bjork actually Fought back In the MTV Celebrity death match Back in like The late 90s Right I'm sick of getting Your mail Bjork

[1:20:00]Can't the people At the post office Read You know I've been Getting neodymonds Mail for years Love letters Back did have two Turntables and a microphone There that He did We did Oh yeah there we are Copies of Bjork's albums No fucking way Weirdo Weirdo A popular term these days Oh neato I'm Bjork I'm a singer That does not look like Beck at all I'm an actress I'm an actress I'm an actress No way It's like Kato Kaelin So anyways Bjork and Beck Go back and forth For a while But Rob if you skip I gave you another time About six minutes In or something This is like wrestling At its finest Bjork and Beck Are going at it And there was a run in Check this run in out Please welcome to the ring Is this amazing or what Oh my god This is incredible He's brought his own Groundbreaking instrument With him from the past What is that His own groundbreaking

[1:21:00]Instrument He is from Oh Wow This is not going to turn out Well for Bjork Oh gosh I mean Bjork Is out Oh I mean Bjork He even did the Bjork thing So Bach ran him through Russell This is a blast From the past I love this Celebrity death match This is great Wow So eventually If you let it go Let it keep going Eventually Bach Ends up winning The celebrity death match So when it comes to The celebrity death match Between Beck And Bjork Who did it better Bach Did it Oh there you go Yeah that's right Aaron I know Bach Okay I'm going to put it Sounds great Put it in real Bach Later there When I figure out What that shit is Next up Russell Russell can I just tell you By the way I didn't get a chance To tell you Okay

[1:22:00]That is a top five List Now Russell Nice No reason But if you had to say We're not quite done With the album But if you had to say Rolling Well Tone Rolling Bone Or Rolling Grown What would you say I'm going to say This is Rolling Grown Just a little bit You know You know what I thought I thought the first song On the album Was a letdown I almost turned it off At song one But there were a few songs I actually liked And actually one of them I don't know which one it was Some of them sounded like Wrestling entrance music To me It sounded like Edge or Gangrel Back in the day Some of them Seemed kind of like These dark Kind of Haunting music So I actually liked it More than I thought I would So I'm going to say It's Rolling Well Grown Or Rolling Grown I don't think it should be This high on the list But there were parts That I enjoyed more Than I was expecting to After the opener Russell Your connection Is breaking up Have a wonderful night We'll see you later Sorry guys Don't think about Mini donuts Or fish Oh

[1:23:00]Long John Silver Oh my wife Orders the halibut Damn that's good I should have brought that up Alright Next Where were we on this Oh yeah Alarm Call Next to this one I just have her voice I like this one Crazy good Yeah I like this one I bet Matt I bet Lana Del Rey Has listened to Bjork a bit I bet For sure I feel like it's that Sort of same like Let's Let's put some Kind of like Slamming beats Next to some Smooth vocals When are we gonna listen To Bjork guys If we're a Bjork listener When are we listening That's I don't know man That's the problem I'm not sure When I'm ever gonna like When I'm doing art Or something When I'm Painting a large You know Wall Of Something I don't know Day four Being lost in the woods I like Matt's Like you've got A warehouse Or like a live workspace And you're making A big mural On the side of the wall And you're cranking

[1:24:00]Bjork up super loud Yep He's on to something here Painting that Storage thing you have All right Pluto Somebody described this As IDM And glitch I love the idea Of it being glitch music Where it's like It's like the Matrix Yep The girl in the red dress That sounds like Another Nintendo song Sounds very European It sounds like What I would think of Like European type Getting off the bus In Cologne All of this full of love This is a minimal Ambient remix Of a song that was Released earlier I'm telling you guys You're taking LSD You're lost in the woods In Iceland This is perfect That would work Yeah I like that Aaron Rodgers Listened to this While he was in his Darkness I gotta say guys I think Russ Might be on Ayahuasca tonight I think that might be Part of the problem He's finding himself Right now

[1:25:00]Shit we should You know what I hope he found himself I'm gonna text him Russ please come back I have a question to ask you Are you on ayahuasca Would you guys do ayahuasca If you got a chance I kind of think I might I'd try it Sure If I was an NFL quarterback Yeah And barfing your guts out And getting mind-bending diarrhea Literally mind-bending diarrhea That I always talk about I think see it's the same Like trying new drugs to me Is the same as this album Like that feels like That window closed Like if I've got True 24 hours where I can just like Fuck off and do what I want Like I'm not Really worth I'm not gonna risk Stuff that like Might send me somewhere I don't enjoy Like I only got Limited time to like To do that So it's gonna be like If I saw a drug That was like from RoboCop 2 Remember Nuke From RoboCop 2 Or something like a capsule They'd put it in their neck God I'd be doing Nuke so bad Cause those drugs Seem fun It's like what's that movie Where the drug is That you drop it in your eye Did it better Like Blade Runner

[1:26:00]Oh Oh yeah Those drugs look Pretty good time The drug you take in The minority report You just He takes those things Oh yeah Or like a What Like a drug What would be fun If I could take a drug And then get a rock hard erection I would love That'd be awesome That's in Ricochet With Denzel I would love A podcast Of just Rob and John Talking about drugs They saw in a movie I'm not gonna listen to it But I think You'd hear something About it Are you talking about The scene where Denzel Has sex in a pool You know I know you are Aaron It's where Denzel Is forced to have sex In a pool It's in Ricochet Yeah he has very little Sex in the movies But he does have sex In Ricochet Has a prison fight With phone books Taped to him And you're just like Yeah this is a great movie I love this movie It's great Here's the deal Okay The four of us Right Russell John you're Russell Yeah How you doing guys Nailed it Wow that is so good Sounds just like him right

[1:27:00]I've got You know what We can just do The next episode So here's the deal Okay Is this album A rolling well toned Listen Yeah It's kind of off the wall But it's Bjerg What do you expect You'd be disappointed If I put this on If I put this on And all of a sudden It sounded like this You know what I mean You'd be like Well this is not This is not the Bjerg I was looking for Although it was kick ass Yeah Bjerg's bonus track Was like this He's like This is where I fucking Shred on my fender Fuck you Little summer song I'll drive my car As fast as I want Dad Okay Or Is that That would be Rolling well toned If this is perfect At 202 Who is that Or Is this a Rolling Groan Okay Maybe this album Is so bad That it makes you Barf Your fucking guts out Just talking about it

[1:28:00]With your buds Okay You got You got guys here Who gave up their Friday night And you get fucking sick Because of Bjerg And you blow chunks All over during the episode And you don't even Record yourself doing it That would be a Rolling Groan I gotta say Getting sick as an adult It's a bummer There's nothing worse And then you're like And your friend Making fun of you For being sick Well Makes it a little bit Less worse I mean it is A scientific fact That guys I mean they just They get sicker And it lasts longer They do Women just bounce back Faster so They have a high pain tolerance It is a scientific fact Thank you Dr. Matt Yeah It's just a scientific fact Yeah and you know what And if I don't Sometimes There's I actually can have Medical problems from it If I don't throw up Once a day It could actually Really hurt That would be A rolling groan Okay If this album Does not belong

[1:29:00]At 202 Or Is this A rolling Bone Okay It shouldn't have been This low on the list It should have been higher Which of course John Is a lower Number Okay That is a lower number On the list We are actually going Through the lower numbers We've done 100 We've done 102 Okay Now Aaron Guess what band Was 102 On the list Do you want to guess Right now The band Nope That was 100 I know you're wrong Because that was 100 What do you think It was 102 The black album Oh that's a good guess Matt what do you think It was 102 I think it was The Clash by The Clash God damn it I could If you would have said Have you guys done The Clash by The Clash I would have said No way God damn it Oh Matt got it Yeah you're good He knew it White Riot And Remote Control I did a parody song To White Riot I can't remember What it was Something about Quiet I think Every great album I'm like What was that parody song But not this one Because I said Fuck it I was out on the boat With my family And I was like If I rush home right now I could make a

[1:30:00]Purity Bjork song And I was like What the fuck Am I doing with my life Where I would even Think about that No I'm not gonna do that Okay there's no way That my bros Who are gonna show up Here today In perfect health And not actually Ruin the episode By barfing all over the place Okay there's no way That's gonna happen I can't He's gonna make you Edit that out He doesn't want His business out there Just rustling off floors Just barfing into a toilet You think he's Oh no You think he did The first one too Rimmed down So it got all over the place And then he has to sit there For the rest of the night Without able to Clean it up Like Aaron's old roommate That girl at The toilet seat On the toilet seat I listened to that episode The other day Aaron that story Holds up Because it was a Fluffy toilet seat So weird right Kirsten up there On Saturday morning Like Here's my new Million dollar business idea Silk toilet seat covers Matt we are in We are in A Twilight Zone episode This is gonna go Sitting on a toilet You get to go to

[1:31:00]The bathroom on silk It'd be like Shitting in women's underpants Hello You Shit in women's underpants What no Why would you do that Why would you do that Why would it feel so good You eat pieces of shit For breakfast Honey you're The dog ate it Alright listen Okay We should probably Start this episode over I kind of forgot Where we were Alright so What do you think In 2020 Rolling well toned Rolling boned Or rolling grown Let's go to John what do you think Rolling well toned Rolling boned Or rolling grown 202 Bjork homogenic This is definitely Rolling grown Bjork should not be Above Dolores O. Riordan Who is the lead singer Of the Cranberries Cranberries are On the list So 501 John They're 501 They're 501 Exactly And To Matt's point It doesn't hold any water To what's coming up In September

[1:32:00]With the Wild Wildflowers With Tom Petty So It definitely isn't Shouldn't be up this High She's a great musician She's a great singer She's very beautiful She's very pretty Her voice is amazing But I just don't get it Because For me in 97 I wasn't listening To this shit Russell What do you think Rolling well toned Rolling boned Or rolling grown Interesting Okay Oh that's right I'll just edit it in later I said later I'm not gonna act like He's throwing up in the toilet Matt What do you think Rolling well toned Rolling boned Or rolling grown I think this is rolling grown I think this was a You know We get these occasionally We get some courtesy Slots Because somebody's Highly Positioned Musician At the time And things like that And they just need to be On the list somewhere So I just think This is 202 Sounds like a good spot To put Bjork All things considered But To John's point We got Wildflowers

[1:33:00]Coming up at 214 We got American Beauty By Grateful Dead We've got Run DMC Raising Hell We've got The Birth of Soul By Ray Charles We've got Wild Is the Wind By Nina Simone Nina Simone We're finally getting Against Nina Simone We got all sorts of stuff Strange choice For a Nina Simone I'll say that Deja Vu Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Rage Against the Machine I mean Rage Against the Machine Rage Against the Machine For the 90s Is way ahead Of this album In terms of 90s albums Things like that Fucking Velvet Revolver Is ahead of this album Yeah Oh John Let's be clear We don't sign off on that That is John Coming in from outside The podcast Trying to turn us Into a Velvet Revolver podcast Hey John We said We'll guest on your show The Velvet Revolver Did it better I saw Hoover's Tank Open for them At the XL Hey we were at that concert Yeah Did you hear me Yeah Alone By the way I should say this My super conservative cousin I was wearing the Beck Did It Better t-shirt

[1:34:00]And he said Oh what's that And I was like Fuck me God damn Do not listen To the latest episode Where I talk about Dressing up as a chair And going to a women's Bodybuilding event And I said Oh yeah That's because And it was It's a great story Because it reminded me Yeah it did It came out last week John Yeah I definitely didn't forget We're in the future Time machine Rivets Time machine Here's the thing Russ is breaking the doors Yeah What do you think Russ The pink is great Oh that was Aaron What do I have on here By Russell I don't have anything There I am again All I want to do There it is Is make love to you There you go He's saying it to his Toilet right now Oh no Here's the thing Okay Is What was I talking about Oh Where am I I told my cousin He said Why is it called Beck Did It Better And I said Well we have a friend That's so dumb Okay And he's definitely Not going to get sick When we record on Friday He's When we listen to a bunch Of Beatles songs We're listening to like Sergeant Pepper And he's like Some of these songs I feel like Beck

[1:35:00]Could have done these better And we said Oh well you're the dumbest Person in the world For saying that We immediately got an argument We're like hey This would be a great podcast But one thing I'm going to promise Okay before we start this podcast Let's keep it clean And with that in mind Okay The correct answer is I did everybody right The correct answer No I didn't get Yeah you did everybody No Aaron What do you think Rolling well toned Rolling bone Or rolling grown I'm going to be the only Rolling well toned here I don't think I can Listen to this But I think that It's important I think it's cool That it's here Matt said yes There are places Where we feel like An artist has to go In this spot I think he might be right But I think 202 Is the right spot for this I think it's cool That it exists I think a lot of people Really dig it And it's important to them I've missed my window To get into it I don't totally get it But I'm going to go With rolling well toned Here's part of the bottom line Right It would be fucked up If Bjork wasn't on this list Like that would be fucked up You know Yeah So does Icon Right It's good at 492 Now Well that's not a palindrome How about 494

[1:36:00]Matt I just realized You just made a point That I fucked up My next joke Okay Guys My palindrome I'm not going to see it For 101 episodes I realize now That's wrong I don't understand What a palindrome is And that's because My pal who's a drone He's terrible at math Ironically Hates numbers I think we're going to get one Every time Every 10 albums or so Aaron don't This is not some Fucked up math teacher's Hungover question Hey guys How many palindromes Oh my god Oh my god I saw the Foo Fighters On a Sunday night I looked for mini donuts I got a bag And I ate it Friday night Before I was supposed To record with my friends I think it'll be fine Here's the thing Oh my god It's so cruel Here's the thing Okay I would expect the same If I got sick And barfed out And barfed my guts out And brought the computer with me So you'd see and hear it Unfortunately you guys Are incorrect

[1:37:00]This gets Shit A rolling ice loaned Okay This album Is about Iceland She said this album Is about Iceland It's about where I'm from It's about nature It's about coming together Now of course Bjork also once said Somebody congratulated her On having a great album And she said I'm a grateful grapefruit I am a grateful grapefruit Yeah Bjork is a classic Like you interview her About the music And she just is like Oh fuck you I'm going to tell you a story That makes no sense And I'm going to tell you I'm going to tell the next guy A different story It's classic Bob Dylan shit But the thing is This album She said it's about Iceland She wanted to get the feel Of Iceland And it makes me think That it would be scary As shit to go to Iceland I feel like If this album is like Iceland I feel like I would get off the plane And I would immediately be stuck In a hall of mirrors Where I'd be yelled at By a young version of me And an old version of me Who are both let down By the decisions I've made And then at the height of madness I wake up next to a Hudson News Where I try to shoplift A keychain That has the name Of the capital city On it But it's too long It's Reykjavik It doesn't fit in my pocket I get busted Okay And I'm sent to an Iceland jail

[1:38:00]Where I listen to this album On a loop This album is an Icelandic jail It makes sense Okay Give me those reindeer balls Which I'm assuming they eat Next up Whoa Wait Hey do you think Do you think that grapefruit Was microwaved A little hole in it Rob? Oh my god Okay Did she microwave it? Was that part of it? No I made that part up You made that up Just caught you You're one of those Fruit fucking guys Remember a tomato Is a fruit Next up Oh Okay My British neighbor Oh no Excuse me guys I gotta make a call real quick Russell Yeah I'm gonna need you To come back This Andy joke I have Is too good What's that? Blah Okay My British neighbor Stole something Out of my garage And now I can't gather My fallen leave Zuh Nailed it

[1:39:00]I have a nicked rake Oh god A nicked rake By Where's the sound clip For the song I can't find it Oh no Fuck me That was a perfect joke And I fucked it up Oh no You know what I'm just gonna push a button And that's the theme song For tonight That ain't it Nailed it A nicked rake Wow Oh this is what we get Next week guys Nicked rake The pink moon Now Is it possible That episode Might not come out Because we're supposed To record a double tonight I don't know Oh Russell you're back Listen Nicked rake Russell Do you get it It's time To say bye Say Goodbye Let me tell you now

[1:40:00]I hate you no he wasn't my palindrome drone god damn it now you just have to hang out with that guy who's over your left shoulder there you know what guys I can't believe I screwed up those jokes at the end makes me sick ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha