TLC: CrazySexyCool (1994)

[00:00]I do have a coffee.

[00:01]I am tired today, and you're going to find out

[00:03]why during my alone go on, okay?

[00:04]Oh, did you have to teach three classes?

[00:07]No, that's not it.

[00:09]It has to do with poor choices I made today after work.

[00:13]That might shock you.

[00:13]I'm here for that.

[00:16]In 2024, Francis, I...

[00:18]Do you think you make enough good choices in life

[00:20]to determine when you make poor ones or not?

[00:22]Oh.

[00:23]Like, is there a clear-cut line

[00:25]where you would know that was bad?

[00:27]I don't know when the last time is I made a good choice.

[00:30]Russ, let's keep...

[00:31]Russ, will you get a yellow legal pad for us?

[00:33]We need to put a...

[00:34]We need to get a...

[00:36]Put a line down the middle.

[00:37]On one side, we're going to put the good choices Rob made today.

[00:40]On the other side, we're going to put the bad.

[00:41]Rob, let's start off with a good choice.

[00:43]Two words.

[00:43]Stafford Interception.

[00:45]What a great choice, baby.

[00:46]The perfect bet.

[00:49]What a thrilling bet to make.

[00:50]People love our...

[00:52]Rob, Rob.

[00:52]Best things that we do on the pod.

[00:56]One is the maps thing.

[00:57]Number two is our sports gambling tip.

[01:00]They love it.

[01:00]That's what people love.

[01:01]Easy.

[01:01]They think it's great.

[01:03]In 2020, four friends decided to listen

[01:06]to every one of the greatest 500 albums

[01:07]decided by Rolling Stone Magazine.

[01:09]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music,

[01:11]excoriated the order,

[01:12]and led us to making this podcast.

[01:13]We are far from experts.

[01:15]We promise to do almost no research.

[01:16]All opinions are our own, unless you disagree.

[01:19]Please sit back and enjoy.

[01:21]Beck did it better.

[01:24]Russell, here's the problem, though.

[01:25]We had two choices to make.

[01:30]So, we actually made the wrong decision

[01:32]because it was either Stafford get an interception

[01:34]or Love have it over...

[01:36]Was it over a 35-yard pass?

[01:37]No, 39 so far.

[01:39]39.

[01:39]And both of them hit.

[01:40]So, we should have been parlaying that shit the whole time.

[01:43]Rob chickened out and just did one of them.

[01:45]Did you guys see there was a story about some guy

[01:47]who had like the biggest bet of the year,

[01:49]$3 million on the Eagles

[01:51]to beat Carolina coming up?

[01:54]I mean, I did hear that.

[01:56]I did hear that.

[01:57]How much do you guys want that guy to lose, right?

[01:59]Like, if anyone's got...

[02:00]Did he bet $3 million on the favorites

[02:01]so that it's $3 million to win $3 million in one?

[02:03]Somebody might have said

[02:06]we should be betting on Carolina all year.

[02:09]Our super secret gambling text chain

[02:10]has already covered this.

[02:11]We are betting against this guy, okay?

[02:14]It's called hedging our bets

[02:16]against some loser that's willing to bet $3 million

[02:18]on the favorites and then advertise it.

[02:19]Like, who would tell everybody that?

[02:21]What a loser.

[02:21]It's nothing like bringing up pop culture events

[02:23]with your friends and realizing

[02:24]they've already talked about it with your other friends.

[02:26]Wow, yeah.

[02:27]I'm not on that text chain.

[02:29]Are you, Russell?

[02:30]No, I'm not.

[02:30]Oh, that's the pay-to-play text chain.

[02:31]That's the Patreon text.

[02:32]You guys don't want to be on that text chain.

[02:35]I'm not willing to risk it all.

[02:37]Not lately.

[02:37]I don't want to be on that lately.

[02:38]I'm saving you guys from that text chain.

[02:40]Trust me.

[02:40]$500.

[02:41]There's lots of,

[02:44]oh, that was a good idea until it wasn't type text.

[02:46]We're like, oh, that was a great bet.

[02:48]It didn't matter if it hit or not.

[02:49]It was fun.

[02:49]Aaron, it really makes you wonder

[02:51]how the text chain started.

[02:52]Like, it had to be Aaron and Russ,

[02:54]I hope they don't come to Vegas this year,

[02:56]and then they started talking about something else, right?

[02:58]Right, how's this happen?

[03:00]It's like everyone going to Vegas

[03:00]except for Aaron and Russ.

[03:02]That's our dream is having less guys come to Vegas.

[03:05]Okay?

[03:06]And plus, Russ has to come.

[03:07]Otherwise, who's Joe going to stay up with?

[03:09]And that Saturday night when we're all like,

[03:11]okay, we're going to bed.

[03:12]It's four in the morning.

[03:13]Russ is like,

[03:14]one more table.

[03:15]I believe you were squatting people in the casino on that.

[03:19]I was still in bed at that point.

[03:20]Sunday night.

[03:21]We were squatting women.

[03:22]We were squatting women.

[03:23]I was also.

[03:24]Did Jenny know about that?

[03:25]Did she see the pictures?

[03:26]She'd be pissed at us.

[03:29]Are you saying that when I,

[03:30]I took the woman by the crap stable

[03:31]and then said I could squat you

[03:32]and then I'd put her on my back and squatted her?

[03:34]I don't think she's seen those pictures,

[03:36]but they have come up on the digital picture frame.

[03:38]What do you think is the heaviest human you could squat?

[03:41]Because that's different than squatting a barbell, right?

[03:42]350 pounds.

[03:44]Maybe I could do 400.

[03:47]You could do two of us, probably,

[03:49]if we chose the right two.

[03:50]Yeah, you, listen.

[03:50]No, yeah, if we chose the right two.

[03:52]You listen, listen.

[03:54]Aaron, you and I might be over Rob's limit.

[03:56]Yeah, it's true.

[03:57]Yeah, we're going to have to be.

[03:58]Yeah, you're right.

[03:59]I think I can squat.

[04:00]I can squat anybody

[04:00]until they get their own show on TLC.

[04:02]You know what I mean?

[04:03]And when you get your own show,

[04:05]that means I can't squat you anymore.

[04:06]You know what I mean?

[04:07]Like, if your weight is the title of the show,

[04:09]I've done a squat of you.

[04:10]The most embarrassing part

[04:12]was when Rob was squatting that woman in Vegas.

[04:13]He had to put, like, plates underneath his heels,

[04:16]you know, like amateurs

[04:16]that have to have little help

[04:18]to get them down and up.

[04:19]It was just amateur.

[04:21]Well, I was, you know,

[04:22]I had to wait for him to put his lifting shoes on.

[04:23]He's like, I can do this,

[04:24]but I got to run into my room first.

[04:25]My knee sleeves.

[04:26]Put my mouth guard in.

[04:28]Get my smelling salts.

[04:30]I had to pick up slightly smaller women

[04:31]to warm up with.

[04:32]I swear to God, I'm warming up.

[04:34]He got a wide stance.

[04:36]So really, he just went down

[04:37]about three inches and then back up.

[04:38]He's like, just a complete cheater.

[04:40]That's bullshit.

[04:40]Don't ever say that again.

[04:41]Back to Blackjack Dealer.

[04:43]Back to Blackjack Dealer

[04:44]spotting him from behind.

[04:46]I always squat to depth, man.

[04:48]Don't even joke about that.

[04:49]And we're up to album 218.

[04:52]And from, ooh, look at that.

[04:53]It's 1994.

[04:55]It's TLC with Crazy Sexy Cool.

[04:58]Do we have two albums in a row from 1994?

[05:00]Well, definitely, maybe it was 1994.

[05:02]I couldn't see the stage in a row.

[05:03]Wow.

[05:04]Hold on.

[05:06]Rob.

[05:06]Let me shut the fuck up

[05:08]while we're talking.

[05:09]Rob's trying to tell a joke.

[05:10]He's telling a joke.

[05:12]I know.

[05:13]TLC is one of the few.

[05:15]Does nobody have any respect

[05:16]for a comic's comedic timing?

[05:18]Nobody?

[05:18]Sorry.

[05:19]Be quiet.

[05:20]You know the secret to telling

[05:21]a good joke timing.

[05:22]TLC is named after,

[05:26]one of the few bands named

[05:26]after a TV station.

[05:28]Okay.

[05:28]Which reminds me of when I went

[05:29]and saw TLC.

[05:30]I've heard this before.

[05:30]When I went and saw Spice in concert,

[05:33]but I couldn't really see him that well.

[05:34]All right.

[05:36]Oh, that's a pretty good joke.

[05:38]I get it.

[05:38]Thank you.

[05:38]Yeah, yeah.

[05:39]It's a good joke.

[05:40]It's a good thing you're on Spotify.

[05:43]No, good thing you're on Audacity

[05:45]so we can actually hear you laughing.

[05:46]It's got to be something

[05:47]when you come downstairs

[05:48]and you see your kid jerking it

[05:49]to a scrambled channel.

[05:51]You're just like,

[05:52]God, this kid's got problems.

[05:54]You know what I mean?

[05:55]You can't even imagine something

[05:57]better than what you're

[05:58]looking at right now.

[05:59]You can't imagine something

[05:59]better than these lines

[06:00]moving around.

[06:01]Just terrible.

[06:02]Not a creative.

[06:04]I mean, there's audio too, right?

[06:06]How many times do you think

[06:07]your parents actually

[06:08]witnessed you in the act?

[06:09]Oh, God.

[06:10]I don't think, well,

[06:13]now that I'm an adult,

[06:15]I'm thinking it's a lot more

[06:17]than I thought.

[06:18]Like, they probably knew.

[06:19]You know what I mean?

[06:20]It's like, this kid's really...

[06:22]This kid's really sleeping

[06:23]under the blanket

[06:24]in the back of the car.

[06:25]Oh.

[06:25]Like, okay, sure.

[06:27]All of a sudden, he's so sleepy.

[06:29]I have to tell this story.

[06:31]One of the complimentary movie guys

[06:36]who has never called in,

[06:37]he's the one who's never called

[06:39]into the podcast,

[06:40]and I'm sure has never listened.

[06:42]Him and his girlfriend,

[06:44]they were probably late teens,

[06:47]early 20s,

[06:48]did a road trip with his parents,

[06:50]and he had sex with his girlfriend

[06:52]in the back of a van

[06:53]while his parents were

[06:54]in the front seat driving down

[06:56]and claims they didn't notice.

[06:57]What are your thoughts?

[06:58]There's no way.

[06:59]No way.

[07:00]There's no way.

[07:00]Come on.

[07:01]What could you do?

[07:03]I mean, if you look back

[07:04]and your kids were having sex

[07:05]in the back of the car,

[07:06]you could just be like,

[07:07]uh, do I, like,

[07:09]you stop the car?

[07:10]Like, slam on the brakes

[07:12]and act like you're having car troubles?

[07:13]I don't know what you'd do.

[07:14]Like, I mean, like,

[07:15]that's the story.

[07:16]Aaron, what is your problem, Aaron?

[07:17]Why are you so perverted?

[07:18]You want the full thing?

[07:19]I mean, come on.

[07:20]Oh, he's probably

[07:21]reaching under his shirt

[07:22]and touching her breast.

[07:23]Ugh.

[07:24]Aaron's like,

[07:25]oh, I'm disgusted by this story.

[07:26]No, I'm just saying, like,

[07:28]how would you disguise

[07:28]if you were, like,

[07:29]fully doing the thing, you know?

[07:32]You would need a big seatbelt.

[07:35]You know what I mean?

[07:36]Like, you're pulling that seatbelt

[07:37]all the way out.

[07:37]First, you need a big seatbelt.

[07:39]You're right.

[07:40]This is bad, Russell.

[07:45]Well, Johnny,

[07:45]why'd you order these

[07:46]extended seatbelts

[07:47]from Ace Auto,

[07:48]from O'Reilly's Auto Parts?

[07:50]Russell, was it a full van?

[07:52]Was it, like, a swivel chair?

[07:53]Like, could you swivel that chair

[07:54]all the way to the back

[07:55]and be like,

[07:55]hey, don't mind us back here?

[07:56]I don't know what the size

[07:57]of the van is.

[07:58]Like, given the timing,

[07:59]like, when minivans were big,

[08:01]I know minivans were...

[08:02]My guess is it's a regular,

[08:03]like, a silhouette.

[08:04]Is that a minivan?

[08:05]I'm guessing it's

[08:05]a three-row minivan.

[08:07]Wow.

[08:07]But I could be wrong.

[08:08]I don't think it's, like,

[08:09]a full-on van

[08:10]with, like, four rows.

[08:11]Oh, okay.

[08:12]Yeah, no, it's not

[08:13]a passenger van.

[08:14]He's not getting shuttled

[08:15]to the hotel.

[08:15]It's, like, a family van.

[08:17]That would be...

[08:20]You think you could

[08:21]pull it off, Rob, or not?

[08:22]Absolutely not.

[08:23]No, why not?

[08:24]Are you kidding?

[08:25]They'd be like,

[08:25]why do you keep saying

[08:26]is it in back there?

[08:27]Oh, no.

[08:28]You don't?

[08:29]Why?

[08:30]Stop saying that.

[08:31]Speaking of coming and going,

[08:34]Weird thing to say.

[08:35]Let's get right...

[08:37]Don't mind me,

[08:37]but I do need some Gatorade.

[08:38]Could we stop

[08:39]and get some Gatorade?

[08:40]I've got a terrible cramp.

[08:41]I cramp my hamstring.

[08:42]All right.

[08:43]Let's get into...

[08:45]You know what, guys?

[08:45]I say today for TLC,

[08:47]let's turn on the radio

[08:49]and just see what's on.

[08:50]I think this is...

[08:51]It's not a big deal.

[08:51]Okay, maybe we're all

[08:53]looking forward to a song.

[08:53]But maybe I'm not going to talk

[08:55]about how great my songs

[08:56]are anymore, okay?

[08:56]I've learned my lesson.

[08:57]Wait, wait, wait.

[08:58]I'm now humble.

[08:59]We're back to doing

[09:00]the parody songs?

[09:01]Baby, we never left.

[09:04]I love it.

[09:05]Back like cook crack.

[09:07]Throwback.

[09:07]Throwback episode.

[09:07]Welcome to KROB.

[09:08]K-R-O-B.

[09:09]Oh, Russell, come on in.

[09:12]Yeah, we're going to...

[09:13]We're going to have Thanksgiving.

[09:14]Yeah, take off your shoes there.

[09:16]We can...

[09:17]Oh, take off your shoes.

[09:19]Buzzer.

[09:19]Buzzer.

[09:20]Stop it.

[09:21]Stop it.

[09:22]Oh, I told you to stop it, Russell.

[09:23]Don't worry about it.

[09:24]They just get a little...

[09:27]They just get a little...

[09:27]They get a little protective.

[09:28]That's all.

[09:28]It's going to be fine.

[09:30]It's just...

[09:31]Okay, well,

[09:33]you were a little aggressive.

[09:35]Don't stand...

[09:35]Don't look them right in the eye, Russell.

[09:37]Oh, yeah.

[09:38]Russell's getting ready

[09:42]for Thanksgiving

[09:44]and he's eating

[09:46]with his roommate's relatives.

[09:48]This weekend,

[09:52]Russell just wants to relax.

[09:55]Sometimes his hearing

[09:57]can be so sensitive.

[09:59]Woo!

[10:00]Russell brought a gift.

[10:04]It's a bottle of wine.

[10:06]But he was worried

[10:08]when he knocked down the door.

[10:11]Oh, it's a gas.

[10:12]He heard a dog bark.

[10:15]He said,

[10:16]one dog is fine.

[10:18]But then it turned out

[10:20]there were six dogs more.

[10:22]What was he thinking?

[10:23]Russell doesn't like...

[10:27]your dogs at all.

[10:28]He flinches at the parking

[10:31]that everyone else is used to.

[10:34]He can't hear

[10:36]what anyone is saying at all.

[10:40]Plus, there was those

[10:41]three or four cats.

[10:43]Russell feels like

[10:49]he's eating in a zoo.

[10:51]It's like he's dining out

[10:54]in Noah's Ark.

[10:57]Russell can think

[11:00]of lots of better dates

[11:02]where he doesn't have to

[11:05]jump at every bark.

[11:07]Russell pretends

[11:11]that he likes the dogs

[11:13]because he wants

[11:14]the family of his roommate

[11:17]to like him.

[11:18]But Russell planned

[11:21]to leave this party

[11:22]at about 3 p.m.

[11:25]But he was out the door

[11:27]before 2.10.

[11:29]He was leaving.

[11:31]Russell doesn't like

[11:34]your dogs at all.

[11:36]He thinks that they should all

[11:38]be kept outside.

[11:40]When his roommate

[11:43]asked if he had fun

[11:45]with her family,

[11:47]he said yes,

[11:49]but he actually lied.

[11:51]Oh, no, no, no.

[11:53]Gotta believe that.

[11:56]Now, I was gonna...

[11:57]I was gonna rhyme

[11:59]euthanize at the end there

[12:01]somehow, but I couldn't

[12:01]figure out how to do it.

[12:02]Oh, God.

[12:03]The worst is,

[12:05]this is Rob's

[12:06]comedic timing again off.

[12:08]A few weeks ago,

[12:09]he insisted on doing

[12:10]an inappropriate beat song

[12:11]that we couldn't play.

[12:12]And he could have done

[12:13]Creep with Feet this week

[12:15]easily and...

[12:16]Just when you guys thought

[12:18]I was gonna do

[12:19]Creep with Feet,

[12:20]I switch it up.

[12:21]I knew you guys thought

[12:23]I was gonna do Creep with Feet.

[12:24]Listen, this is

[12:25]Back to the Better.

[12:26]We're talking about

[12:26]the greatest,

[12:27]500 albums of all time.

[12:28]According to Rolling Stone magazine,

[12:29]we are talking about

[12:30]TLC Creep,

[12:31]a song,

[12:32]an album that came out

[12:33]when I was 14.

[12:34]It's right,

[12:34]it hits me right in the heart,

[12:36]but I've got three guys here.

[12:37]Right?

[12:38]Right in the heart

[12:39]or right below the belt?

[12:40]Tell the truth.

[12:42]I've got three guys here

[12:43]who are getting a ride

[12:44]in my passenger side.

[12:45]And they're leaning out

[12:47]to holler at somebody.

[12:48]I've got Russell in Minneapolis.

[12:50]Russell, how are you doing?

[12:51]Rob, I've been watching you,

[12:53]and you've been watching me,

[12:54]and I know you want this podcast.

[12:56]Oh, wow.

[12:56]Let me kick a little game with you.

[12:58]Oh, guys, this album.

[13:00]I'm just going to say

[13:02]for a couple of these songs,

[13:03]we're going to be watching the videos, okay?

[13:04]We're going to be doing

[13:05]some live streaming.

[13:06]I've got Matt in Minneapolis.

[13:07]Matt, how are you doing today?

[13:08]Good, Rob.

[13:11]Sorry there.

[13:12]I had a little

[13:12]prickle in my throat.

[13:13]People try to say

[13:15]you act a little funny, Rob,

[13:17]but that's just a figure of speech to me.

[13:19]Oh, wow.

[13:19]Thank you so much.

[13:20]I'll take that as a compliment.

[13:21]And I've got Aaron out in California.

[13:23]Now, Aaron said

[13:24]that he wouldn't mind getting shot

[13:25]if the bullet said,

[13:26]this guy has a big,

[13:26]big dick on them.

[13:27]Oh, no.

[13:28]You stole my joke from next week.

[13:30]Rob, if I was your girlfriend,

[13:32]would you let me undress you?

[13:33]Let's talk about TLC and Creed.

[13:34]Listen, this guy,

[13:36]I just found something

[13:37]on these bullets.

[13:37]They all say this guy has a big dick

[13:39]and you see Aaron's corpse

[13:40]like turned into a smile like,

[13:41]yes, this is going to be in the news.

[13:43]Guys, we cannot, we can't listen.

[13:45]We cannot turn this

[13:45]into a manhunt podcast

[13:46]because it's all I want to talk about.

[13:48]I don't want to talk about it.

[13:49]It's still out there.

[13:50]I'm out.

[13:50]I'm out.

[13:50]Russell and I talked earlier

[13:52]before the podcast

[13:53]that Russell is 100% disinterested

[13:54]in this fascinating story.

[13:56]Good for you, Russell.

[13:56]Your life's better for it.

[13:58]Thank you.

[13:58]Yep.

[13:58]Yep.

[13:59]No, I am, of course,

[14:01]I do go to work

[14:02]and I stopped right at that city bike

[14:03]at the station

[14:04]that that guy took off

[14:05]into the park.

[14:05]Okay.

[14:06]I fully inspected the next day

[14:07]to see if I could find any clues.

[14:09]Okay.

[14:10]Did you know that allegedly

[14:11]you can like hack into the system

[14:13]and just see where the bikes are going

[14:15]and who's renting what bikes

[14:16]and what time they take off?

[14:17]I saw somebody on Twitter

[14:18]was doing that.

[14:19]He's like,

[14:19]I just happened to scrape data

[14:20]every minute

[14:21]for where all the city bikes are.

[14:22]I was like, oh, you're a creep.

[14:23]You're the,

[14:24]you're the creep of the apartment.

[14:26]You're looking for people

[14:27]on their bikes.

[14:27]Yeah.

[14:28]Oh, you're okay.

[14:28]You're a weirdo.

[14:29]Thank you.

[14:29]Good to know.

[14:30]Okay.

[14:30]Good to know who I should block

[14:31]on Twitter.

[14:32]Not that I'm on Twitter anymore,

[14:33]by the way,

[14:33]Beck did it better

[14:34]is officially off Twitter.

[14:35]I am too, man.

[14:36]It was bad for my mentals.

[14:37]It is now on blue sky

[14:39]where it is now following

[14:40]not as much.

[14:41]There's not as much sex stuff

[14:42]going on in blue sky.

[14:43]I will say that,

[14:43]but I will tell you right now,

[14:45]tick tock guys,

[14:47]all my tick tock is

[14:48]all the Beck did about

[14:49]tick tock is right now

[14:50]is attractive women

[14:52]in the office

[14:52]walking toward you.

[14:53]I don't know how I got there.

[14:55]I don't know why I'm there,

[14:57]but I like every video

[14:58]and I feel I cannot let anyone

[15:00]know that that's what

[15:01]my videos are.

[15:02]Okay.

[15:03]Don't tell anybody.

[15:03]I won't tell anybody.

[15:04]Keep that under your hat

[15:05]on the download.

[15:06]Hey,

[15:07]at least it's not

[15:08]just tick tocks

[15:09]of Rudy Gobert interviews

[15:10]because I'm not saying it's me,

[15:12]but someone in this household

[15:13]has got a thing

[15:14]for Rudy Gobert interviews.

[15:15]I'm just saying.

[15:16]I can't believe

[15:17]they don't tell me.

[15:18]It's just the interviews.

[15:19]It's not even the game.

[15:20]It's just the interviews.

[15:22]Bobster's roommate

[15:22]is now super,

[15:23]super into not only the wolves,

[15:25]but has to watch

[15:26]all the postgame interviews.

[15:27]I've been there.

[15:28]She wants to hear

[15:29]what Chris Finch

[15:30]has to say about every game.

[15:31]I love it.

[15:32]I've been that person.

[15:33]I just got a text.

[15:34]She's listening the next morning.

[15:35]Just enjoy it.

[15:36]Just let it wash over you.

[15:37]Enjoy it.

[15:38]I love it.

[15:38]I just got a text

[15:40]saying Draymond Green

[15:41]is a big baby.

[15:42]He just got a technical foul

[15:43]for arguing.

[15:44]She's got thoughts

[15:45]about Draymond Green, Aaron.

[15:46]He's playing tonight?

[15:46]I thought he wasn't playing tonight.

[15:48]He can't be recording.

[15:49]We're going to be watching

[15:49]Wolves Warriors.

[15:50]Listen.

[15:51]Do the music.

[15:52]Listen.

[15:54]That was my Rudy Gobert impression.

[15:55]No joke whatsoever.

[15:56]I had no joke

[15:57]to follow that up with.

[15:57]What would be a good

[15:58]Rudy Gobert joke?

[15:59]It's like his playoff

[16:00]career number,

[16:01]his career playoff number.

[16:02]Oh, Aaron.

[16:03]Why would you bring that up, Aaron?

[16:04]That is a joke.

[16:05]You asked for Rudy Gobert jokes.

[16:06]The last time I ever make

[16:09]my Iowa State lock

[16:11]is my college football

[16:12]pick of the week, Aaron.

[16:13]Oh, no.

[16:13]Don't do that.

[16:14]Don't do that to yourself.

[16:16]People from Lakeville

[16:16]knows what I'm talking about.

[16:17]Let's get right into it.

[16:19]Let's get into the voicemail.

[16:23]Well...

[16:24]Started out with a kiss

[16:25]How did it end up like this?

[16:27]It was only a kiss

[16:29]It was only a kiss

[16:30]Now I'm falling asleep

[16:32]And she's calling

[16:33]Us on the back line.

[16:34]Oh, my God.

[16:35]802-277

[16:36]Again, I forget it's there.

[16:37]802-277-2325

[16:38]Every time.

[16:39]Dude,

[16:40]as someone who has attended

[16:42]his fair share of comedy

[16:43]open mics,

[16:44]let me tell you,

[16:45]that shit was hilarious.

[16:47]Yes.

[16:47]You killed it.

[16:48]I hope you will continue

[16:49]to perform.

[16:50]That was such tight set

[16:52]that was well thought out

[16:53]and well done.

[16:53]Awesome job.

[16:55]That is a voicemail

[16:57]from let's give it up

[16:59]for our number one fan.

[16:59]It's Magic Mike.

[17:01]Nice.

[17:02]All right.

[17:03]Magic Mike left a message

[17:05]saying that it was actually

[17:06]a good set

[17:07]and I did a great job,

[17:08]which is good news

[17:09]because guess what's happening

[17:10]again on Tuesday?

[17:11]Are you performing

[17:12]at Magic Mike Night 69?

[17:14]I am performing

[17:15]at Open Magic Mike Night 69.

[17:17]Yes.

[17:18]I am telling a couple new jokes.

[17:20]Okay, guess what?

[17:21]Wife's pubic hair bit, out.

[17:23]Yeah.

[17:23]Yes, I agree.

[17:24]Wife's boob and butthole bit, in.

[17:26]Okay, we're switching it up.

[17:28]Junior mint one?

[17:30]We're doing the junior mint.

[17:31]We're doing the sand monsters.

[17:32]Okay, we're doing the

[17:34]my wife's breasts look like

[17:36]they're reading a book

[17:37]and then you look down like this.

[17:38]You know what I mean?

[17:38]Oh, you can't.

[17:42]No, not as recorded.

[17:44]You can't.

[17:45]They look like pillows

[17:46]that I've been sleeping on

[17:47]for five years.

[17:47]Oh, no.

[17:48]You should change your pillow.

[17:50]Like, you shouldn't sleep

[17:52]on the same pillow for five years.

[17:53]It's bad for your neck.

[17:53]Tell me about it.

[17:55]I mean, I knew you were

[17:56]a belly sleeper.

[17:57]Did I tell you what I did?

[17:58]I, okay.

[18:00]I messaged, I put out,

[18:02]does anybody have a pillow

[18:03]for a side sleeper?

[18:04]And my old Achilles heel,

[18:07]a girl I had a crush on

[18:10]in high school,

[18:11]messaged me.

[18:12]Wearing a person dead t-shirt.

[18:13]Oh, yeah, tell me about it.

[18:15]Here is the pillow you need.

[18:16]That got edited out, Aaron,

[18:17]by the way.

[18:17]That got edited out.

[18:18]Nobody knows what we're talking about.

[18:19]Now you sound like the creep.

[18:21]But she messaged me

[18:23]and she said,

[18:24]hey, here's a pillow I really like.

[18:25]It's a Tempur-Pedic.

[18:27]So it's like a very hard

[18:28]memory foam pillow.

[18:30]Okay?

[18:31]So of course, I buy it.

[18:33]Sight unseen.

[18:33]150 bucks.

[18:35]Buy it.

[18:36]Don't even think about it.

[18:37]Just do it.

[18:37]Guess what?

[18:39]I can't even put my arm under it.

[18:40]It's not for side sleepers.

[18:41]It's for like back sleepers.

[18:44]So this pillow I bought

[18:45]is now just sitting

[18:46]by the side of my bed.

[18:46]It's totally useless.

[18:47]We need to diagram this out.

[18:49]I'm not sure how we're going

[18:50]to do this on a podcast.

[18:51]So your side sleeping method

[18:53]is,

[18:53]arm under the pillow?

[18:55]Yes.

[18:56]That's fine.

[18:57]I go with that one.

[18:58]I'm that way too.

[19:00]Arm.

[19:01]Yes.

[19:01]I'll go with an arm.

[19:02]Pillow is in between

[19:03]the crook of the arm

[19:04]and the head.

[19:04]What are you doing, Aaron,

[19:06]that there's no arm

[19:07]under the pillow?

[19:07]I guess I just keep my arms.

[19:09]Are your arms at your side?

[19:10]I think so.

[19:10]Are your arms at your side

[19:11]and your face down?

[19:12]Yeah.

[19:13]No, I'm generally

[19:14]a side sleeper too,

[19:15]but I guess I've never

[19:16]put the arm under the pillow.

[19:17]I've got a rotator cuff

[19:19]there.

[19:19]Where's that other arm at, Aaron?

[19:21]Where's that other arm at?

[19:23]It just shows that Aaron's

[19:24]not that big of a guy

[19:25]because the idea of lying

[19:26]on one of my arms,

[19:27]it would instantly fall asleep.

[19:28]Like my arm under the pillow

[19:29]falls asleep.

[19:30]I wake up and this thing's

[19:31]basically been neutered

[19:32]off my body.

[19:32]It's all tingly.

[19:33]And I wake up in the morning

[19:35]with a tingly arm

[19:36]and I'm like,

[19:36]hmm,

[19:37]I wonder what I should do now.

[19:39]Matt, that's usually

[19:41]your comedy bit.

[19:42]The stranger.

[19:43]Yeah.

[19:43]Yeah.

[19:44]The stranger.

[19:45]Matt's watching something.

[19:46]Matt's watching sports.

[19:47]I'm trying to find my pillow

[19:48]because I was going to...

[19:50]I got like a $120 pillow.

[19:51]Go to mypillow.com

[19:53]That's where you bought

[19:53]all your pillows.

[19:54]That's what you told me earlier.

[19:55]Yeah, they can't get

[19:57]to that website.

[19:58]I don't like his pillows,

[20:02]but he's got some good ideas.

[20:03]What is your pillow, man?

[20:04]I'm trying to find it.

[20:06]I was going to try to find a time

[20:09]to go find my phone.

[20:09]My phone's upstairs.

[20:10]I could go get it.

[20:11]I think we bought it on Amazon.

[20:12]I washed it.

[20:13]I tried to wash it one time.

[20:15]Washed the wrong thing.

[20:16]What?

[20:17]Washed your pillow?

[20:17]How do you get a new one?

[20:18]Oh, yeah.

[20:19]You put the whole pillow

[20:21]in the wash?

[20:21]You can wash pillows.

[20:23]Oh, okay.

[20:23]No, that's not true.

[20:25]That's actually new to me, too.

[20:26]That's not true.

[20:27]That can't be true.

[20:28]Google washing.

[20:28]Just Google it right now.

[20:29]Washing.

[20:30]Can you wash your pillow?

[20:31]You kind of have to, right?

[20:33]Or otherwise,

[20:33]you should be throwing it away

[20:34]at some point.

[20:35]Arthur Stewart says,

[20:37]how to wash your pillow

[20:38]the right way.

[20:39]You put it in.

[20:40]Okay, a mix of dead skin

[20:41]and dust mites.

[20:42]I do know pillows gain

[20:43]like three pounds

[20:44]after like five years

[20:45]because they're getting

[20:46]all your dead skin in there.

[20:47]Pillows should be cleaned

[20:49]every three to six months.

[20:51]Oof.

[20:52]Okay.

[20:53]That would be,

[20:54]I'm 44 years old,

[20:55]so that should have been,

[20:55]I should have cleaned

[20:56]my pillows 88 times.

[20:57]I have cleaned them

[20:58]zero times.

[20:59]I have never cleaned

[21:01]my pillows ever.

[21:02]That's crazy.

[21:03]How do machine wash pillows?

[21:04]Pre-treat stains.

[21:06]Okay.

[21:07]Okay, I'm done.

[21:08]I'm closing this site.

[21:08]Pre-treat stains.

[21:09]Okay, Rockefeller,

[21:11]I got all the time

[21:12]in the world

[21:13]pre-treating stains.

[21:14]Get the fuck out of here.

[21:14]Can you imagine

[21:16]if someone caught you

[21:17]and you're like,

[21:17]what are you doing today?

[21:18]I'm like,

[21:18]I'm washing my pillow.

[21:19]You'd be so ashamed, right?

[21:21]You just throw it in.

[21:22]What's he throw it in?

[21:22]What's he throw it in

[21:23]with the rest of your?

[21:23]Listen.

[21:24]You got your comforter.

[21:25]That's got to go in by itself.

[21:27]But then you got your sheets

[21:28]and your pillowcases

[21:29]and you throw the pillow

[21:30]in with it.

[21:30]Is there anything

[21:31]that ruins a night

[21:32]when you and your spouse

[21:33]come home

[21:34]and you're just ready

[21:35]to hop in bed

[21:36]at just getting

[21:37]like a Friday night,

[21:38]you're ready for a long sleep.

[21:39]You don't have to do a podcast.

[21:40]I mean,

[21:40]you don't get to do

[21:41]the podcast that night.

[21:41]You're ready for a long sleep

[21:43]and you go to your room

[21:45]and the bed is not made.

[21:46]You forgot that you

[21:47]had washed the sheets

[21:48]and it's a bare bed

[21:49]and now you have to

[21:50]work together

[21:51]to make the bed

[21:52]and it's the worst.

[21:54]Except,

[21:54]you know what I make my wife do

[21:56]when we do that?

[21:57]You go to bed earlier than you.

[21:58]I lie down on the bed

[22:00]when we put the bottom sheet on

[22:01]and then I make her

[22:02]fluff the top sheet

[22:03]on top of me

[22:03]because that's what my dad

[22:04]used to always do to me.

[22:05]Like all the way through

[22:06]when I was in college,

[22:07]he would come in

[22:07]and then fluff the sheet on me

[22:08]and then put a pillow on me.

[22:09]Oh, they put a blankie on me.

[22:11]Oh, so night when Jenny

[22:12]first slept over my house

[22:13]when we were first married,

[22:14]my dad tucked her in.

[22:15]Okay, there's something

[22:17]I wish I wouldn't have said.

[22:18]Whoa.

[22:18]Let's move on to

[22:19]Rollin' Going.

[22:22]It is time.

[22:24]I thank God, man,

[22:25]that got up to get his phone.

[22:26]He'll never know what I said.

[22:27]That's a truly bizarre thing

[22:29]you just said.

[22:29]Yeah, he did the thing

[22:31]where she was,

[22:32]oh, okay.

[22:33]Never mind.

[22:34]Never mind.

[22:36]Okay.

[22:37]Matt,

[22:39]I didn't say that my dad

[22:40]tucked my wife into bed

[22:41]one time.

[22:42]Rollin' Going, Aaron.

[22:44]Huh?

[22:45]Nothing.

[22:46]Aaron, wouldn't you want me,

[22:48]how about this, Aaron?

[22:49]We're going to Vegas soon.

[22:50]Yeah.

[22:50]Okay, January.

[22:51]Yep.

[22:52]I'll tuck.

[22:53]January 18th through the 21st.

[22:54]New York, New York.

[22:55]We'll see you there.

[22:56]I will tuck you in, Aaron,

[22:58]to your bed.

[22:59]I'll come to your room

[23:00]and I'll tuck you in.

[23:00]You lie down.

[23:01]I'll put a sheet.

[23:02]I'll kind of blow it up

[23:03]on top of you.

[23:03]Okay, I'll pick up that top sheet.

[23:05]I'll tuck you in all tight.

[23:07]And in fact,

[23:07]it'll be the tightest

[23:08]you've ever been in a bed.

[23:09]It's going to be so tight

[23:10]it's going to blow your mind.

[23:10]We'll shove that pillow

[23:11]in between the crook of his arm.

[23:12]Yep, yep.

[23:14]You can lie face down

[23:15]or however you sleep,

[23:15]whatever messed up way you sleep.

[23:17]Okay?

[23:19]If a guy that looks like Dauber

[23:20]comes into the room,

[23:21]it's normal.

[23:21]Just let it happen.

[23:23]I don't know who my roommate is yet.

[23:24]We had a,

[23:25]there was somebody left,

[23:26]it was like a hanging chat out there.

[23:27]Like, hey,

[23:28]who's going to room with who?

[23:29]And I was like, whoa,

[23:30]it feels like kind of early

[23:31]to be doing rooming assignments.

[23:32]Like, let's let,

[23:33]let's let this thing

[23:35]ride until January.

[23:36]It felt like,

[23:36]it felt like a premature commitment.

[23:38]Yeah, right?

[23:40]Like, I don't know

[23:41]who I'm going to be sleeping with

[23:42]for until after the new year.

[23:44]We got to see how this plays out.

[23:46]Maybe Aaron wants a room with me.

[23:47]You never know.

[23:48]We're going to switch it up.

[23:49]But Aaron comes into rooms with me.

[23:51]All right?

[23:52]We end up going hiking together.

[23:53]Yes.

[23:54]You know,

[23:55]you know that can't happen

[23:56]because you're the only one

[23:57]who can stay with Dave.

[23:59]Yeah.

[23:59]You guys got to get your smoking room.

[24:01]You got a special,

[24:01]special thing going on.

[24:03]Anytime we have a smoking room,

[24:05]I smoke in the shower

[24:06]and I'm like,

[24:06]this is terrible.

[24:07]I feel awful.

[24:09]That's amazing.

[24:10]I do want to have a cigarette

[24:11]in the shower.

[24:11]That's incredible.

[24:12]If you were going to do

[24:13]the smoking room, Rob,

[24:14]who would be your preferred

[24:15]roommate from the people

[24:17]going on the trip this year?

[24:19]I think Matt and I

[24:20]have roomed together before.

[24:21]Haven't we, Matt?

[24:21]Oh, yeah.

[24:22]You guys got caught

[24:23]watching Draft Day one afternoon.

[24:25]The only problem

[24:26]rooming with Matt

[24:27]is that I do end up buying,

[24:28]every time I'm with Matt,

[24:29]I end up buying T-shirts

[24:31]that at the time

[24:32]I think are very funny.

[24:32]And then when they show up,

[24:34]it's the,

[24:34]I make the THX noise

[24:36]when I come shirt.

[24:36]Oh, look at this shirt.

[24:37]This is great.

[24:38]Oh, yeah.

[24:38]You got to buy that.

[24:39]When am I ever going to wear this?

[24:40]Matt, bad T-shirts

[24:42]on the notepad right here.

[24:43]Yellow notepad right there.

[24:45]There you go.

[24:46]You don't think a MasterCard

[24:47]Sex With Me

[24:48]priceless shirt

[24:49]was worth it?

[24:50]That's crazy.

[24:52]Aaron, we're only going on

[24:53]as we're going with you.

[24:54]Hold on.

[24:54]One thing.

[24:55]Well, last time

[24:56]we stayed together,

[24:57]remember when Russ

[24:59]was just all of a sudden

[24:59]in our room?

[25:00]We're like,

[25:00]how are we doing, Russ?

[25:02]I wasn't in your room.

[25:04]I was in Rob's bed.

[25:05]Yeah, you thought

[25:06]we were in your room.

[25:07]We're like,

[25:08]Rob's just kind of

[25:09]hanging out like

[25:10]waiting for

[25:11]what's going on here, Russ.

[25:12]Yeah.

[25:12]I should have

[25:13]tucked Russell in.

[25:14]I'm going to tuck

[25:15]one of you guys in.

[25:16]Okay, get ready

[25:17]to get tucked.

[25:18]I'm going to tuck you

[25:19]so hard.

[25:20]I'm not opposed

[25:20]if you want to tuck me in.

[25:22]I guess it's fine.

[25:22]You know what, Aaron?

[25:23]I can tuck you.

[25:24]I can finger tuck you.

[25:26]No.

[25:27]I can tuck you

[25:29]in from behind.

[25:29]Oh.

[25:30]None of these

[25:31]are sounding good.

[25:32]There's so many ways

[25:33]I could tuck you in.

[25:33]I could tuck you in hard.

[25:34]I could tuck you in soft.

[25:35]It doesn't matter.

[25:36]I could tuck a lot

[25:36]of different ways.

[25:37]I'm going to go for soft,

[25:38]I think.

[25:38]I'm not sure.

[25:39]Whatever's the fastest.

[25:40]I'll tell you what.

[25:41]After I do it,

[25:41]you're going to be a family

[25:42]that lives forever.

[25:43]That tuck is going

[25:45]to be everlasting.

[25:45]Oh!

[25:48]I did not see

[25:49]Tuck Everlasting

[25:50]coming up on the show today.

[25:51]Okay, go ahead.

[25:54]I mean, that's...

[25:55]That might be the joke

[25:56]of the entire podcast.

[25:57]218-plus episodes.

[26:00]We nailed it.

[26:00]Goodbye.

[26:01]Tuck Everlasting.

[26:02]Rob's also going to have

[26:05]a funny haircut

[26:05]and be wearing

[26:06]a big brown robe

[26:07]and be playing

[26:08]Brian Adams

[26:09]while he fryer-tucks

[26:10]you into that bed.

[26:11]Everything I do

[26:17]Everything I do

[26:17]Everything I do

[26:17]Everything I do

[26:18]Yes, Russell.

[26:19]I do it for you

[26:22]as I tuck it,

[26:22]my fingers brush it.

[26:24]No, it's true.

[26:24]My fingers brush your face

[26:25]as you close your eyes.

[26:26]Raise your hand

[26:27]if you may or may not

[26:28]have had a small streak

[26:30]of time in the last few weeks

[26:31]when you listened to

[26:32]the Robin Hood

[26:33]Prince of Thieves soundtrack.

[26:34]Whoa.

[26:35]Is it just me?

[26:36]Russell is getting laid.

[26:39]You love to hear it.

[26:40]You love to hear it.

[26:43]Aaron, roll and go.

[26:47]I was going with you.

[26:48]It's really good.

[26:49]It's mostly good.

[26:50]I had a kind of

[26:52]rough experience tonight.

[26:53]I'm wondering, like,

[26:53]what have you guys

[26:55]had the experience

[26:55]where a takeout spot

[26:57]just falls off

[26:58]and it's like you've been

[26:59]been to the takeout spot

[27:00]a few times

[27:01]and maybe it's been

[27:02]like a while since you went

[27:03]and then you go back

[27:04]and it just

[27:05]so the Thai spot

[27:06]in Rockridge

[27:08]Thai food.

[27:08]That's mine, too.

[27:09]Yeah, it's always been OK.

[27:11]Like the one in Rockridge

[27:12]has been good.

[27:12]It doesn't have sticky rice.

[27:13]Wallace wants sticky rice,

[27:14]but we can usually talk

[27:15]him into going down there

[27:16]because they got egg rice

[27:18]rolls.

[27:18]It's fine.

[27:18]They got a catfish dish

[27:20]down there.

[27:20]I like they switched up

[27:22]the catfish from fillets

[27:23]to steaks.

[27:24]Have you guys dealt

[27:25]with fish steaks in your lives?

[27:26]I don't think so.

[27:27]Oh, man.

[27:28]Like,

[27:28]what the hell are you

[27:32]talking about?

[27:32]Fish steaks.

[27:33]A steak is a fish cut.

[27:35]You know,

[27:35]now I've heard of

[27:36]mistakes, but fish steaks.

[27:37]You know,

[27:39]a fish steak is basically

[27:40]instead of doing a fillet,

[27:41]you take a take a fish

[27:42]and if my arm is the fish,

[27:44]you cut it in cross sections.

[27:46]So it's like you cut it

[27:47]like it's a carton.

[27:48]You're just cutting it

[27:48]so you can see.

[27:49]Yeah.

[27:49]And I make this mistake

[27:51]about once every three years.

[27:52]I buy I buy salmon steaks

[27:54]because I'm like,

[27:54]oh, look at that.

[27:55]It's beautiful.

[27:56]It looks like I'm like,

[27:57]that's what that's what

[27:57]a man would eat.

[27:58]Right.

[27:59]And then like I cook it up

[28:00]and I can't get it cooked right.

[28:01]And then there's a you got

[28:02]to deal with like bones

[28:04]in a way that you weren't

[28:05]used to dealing with bones.

[28:06]It never works out.

[28:07]And yeah,

[28:07]I deal with those bones.

[28:09]The fish steaks from

[28:10]or switch the catfish

[28:11]from fillets to steaks

[28:13]and the whole thing was off.

[28:14]And so what do you get?

[28:15]I mean,

[28:15]obviously I got to like

[28:16]not go back.

[28:17]But have you guys

[28:18]had that experience

[28:18]where like your solid spot

[28:20]just turns south?

[28:21]Road Osha.

[28:22]Road Osha,

[28:23]the Thai spot in Minneapolis.

[28:25]No.

[28:25]Road Osha went south?

[28:26]Well,

[28:27]it was on 26th and Hennepin.

[28:30]Yeah.

[28:30]So, you know,

[28:31]a little bit north of Lake Street,

[28:33]but not quite,

[28:33]you know,

[28:34]to like Lowry neighborhood,

[28:36]you know,

[28:37]kind of a deal.

[28:37]So like straight over

[28:38]from the wedge,

[28:39]but not.

[28:40]Yeah.

[28:40]A little bit,

[28:41]a little bit south of the wedge.

[28:42]Okay.

[28:42]Kind of by kind of by

[28:44]what's the they got Lake Lake

[28:46]is it Lake?

[28:46]Like the Chipotle Lake

[28:50]or whatever.

[28:50]Yeah.

[28:50]And south of one parking lot

[28:51]keeps flooding.

[28:52]Oh my God.

[28:53]Right.

[28:54]Yeah.

[28:55]So that used to be

[28:56]a standalone,

[28:57]a standalone building,

[28:59]right?

[28:59]It had its own restaurant.

[29:00]It was cool restaurant inside.

[29:02]The guy that owned the building

[29:03]ended up selling it

[29:04]to put up a Dave Paradise,

[29:07]put up a parking lot,

[29:08]but it was like a CVS

[29:10]with a drive-through now

[29:11]or something stupid like that.

[29:12]That's what we need.

[29:13]So then Road Osha had to move.

[29:15]I need condoms.

[29:16]Hello, I need condoms.

[29:19]No, not that many.

[29:20]No, not that.

[29:22]What is that?

[29:23]Ribbed.

[29:23]Can you get some of the body

[29:25]washed out of that locker

[29:26]while you're at it too, right?

[29:27]Herb.

[29:28]Geez.

[29:29]Why is that guy putting

[29:30]poking pins in these?

[29:31]What?

[29:32]Do you have anything

[29:34]that's the opposite of lube?

[29:35]There's too much lube.

[29:36]What's the opposite?

[29:39]Too little?

[29:40]Sand?

[29:41]I'm putting down kitty litter.

[29:42]I don't know what to do.

[29:43]Oh God.

[29:43]What?

[29:44]What?

[29:44]Oh man.

[29:46]How would you do?

[29:46]How would you do that?

[29:47]I don't know.

[29:48]Guys, don't think about it.

[29:50]Can you guys stop

[29:51]letting me interrupt you so much?

[29:53]Please.

[29:54]Road Osha had to move

[29:55]to Calhoun Square,

[29:56]which you can't call

[29:57]Calhoun Square anymore.

[29:58]It's called Five Crowns,

[29:59]which is at

[30:00]Edipen Lake.

[30:02]Wait, it's not called

[30:03]Calhoun Square anymore?

[30:04]No, because Lake Calhoun

[30:06]is now Bede, La Casca.

[30:07]So everything that's got Calhoun

[30:09]is out.

[30:09]Is Famous Is Out still there?

[30:11]Nothing.

[30:11]No, that closed as well.

[30:14]That's really turned into

[30:15]quite the...

[30:16]Now we can't go to

[30:18]Aaron's favorite restaurant,

[30:19]Colonizers.

[30:21]So it's changed hands

[30:26]about three times

[30:27]and it's still okay.

[30:29]It's still okay.

[30:30]But they don't put cashews

[30:32]in anymore.

[30:33]A big cashew guy.

[30:35]Hello.

[30:36]A big cashew guy.

[30:37]You know?

[30:38]And so,

[30:39]and it's just,

[30:40]and they only take,

[30:41]the restaurant only needs

[30:42]about half its space.

[30:43]And so when you go in

[30:44]to pick up the food,

[30:45]the back half is like

[30:46]just dark.

[30:46]And so it's just,

[30:47]it's just a weird setup

[30:48]and weird layout.

[30:50]So we've been going to...

[30:52]Russell perked up though.

[30:52]Russell perked up

[30:53]when you said the back

[30:54]of the restaurant was dark.

[30:55]He's like,

[30:55]sounds like a good date.

[30:57]Yeah.

[30:58]There's another Thai place

[30:59]across Hennepin

[31:01]on the other side.

[31:02]So kind of by the,

[31:03]used to be the Apple store.

[31:05]Now it was,

[31:06]there's a new venue there

[31:08]that used to be a movie theater.

[31:09]What's that venue?

[31:10]Isn't it a concert venue

[31:11]right there?

[31:12]Russell went there

[31:12]this summer.

[31:13]The Granada?

[31:14]Yeah.

[31:16]Yeah.

[31:16]But right next to there,

[31:17]I think it's a...

[31:18]But there's nothing

[31:21]more heartbreaking, Aaron,

[31:23]than your favorite

[31:25]takeout place

[31:25]just starting to go downhill.

[31:26]I know, man.

[31:27]And you end up

[31:28]sticking with them

[31:29]until the very, very end,

[31:31]which is also

[31:31]the very sad thing.

[31:32]Yeah.

[31:32]So we've been trying

[31:33]to find a new Thai place.

[31:35]Well, I'll be, yeah.

[31:36]Nothing's quite like it.

[31:37]I mean, I'll be sticking

[31:37]with Soy Ford

[31:38]because it's right next

[31:39]to George and Walt's

[31:40]where I can get a

[31:41]bonded Jack Daniel's rye

[31:42]and a Death in Texas

[31:43]for $9.

[31:44]So, I mean,

[31:45]what am I supposed to do?

[31:46]Well, I'm waiting

[31:46]for my takeout,

[31:47]but have a little

[31:48]shine of beer.

[31:49]The pizza place

[31:50]on Roosevelt Island

[31:51]has a problem right now.

[31:53]Basically, here's the deal.

[31:54]They cannot deliver

[31:55]a pepperoni pizza.

[31:58]What about a cheese pizza?

[32:00]They can deliver

[32:02]a cheese pizza,

[32:02]but there is no option

[32:03]for a pepperoni pizza

[32:04]on their app.

[32:05]So if you want...

[32:07]Okay, this is crazy.

[32:07]So when my kid wants pizza,

[32:09]I have to tell her,

[32:10]okay...

[32:10]Let's order a pizza right now.

[32:11]Let's go see this.

[32:12]This can't be true.

[32:13]So here's the deal.

[32:14]I told my daughter,

[32:15]I was like,

[32:16]do you want a pepperoni pizza?

[32:17]You got to go pick it up.

[32:21]You need to walk 100 yards

[32:22]and go pick it up

[32:23]or they'll deliver it

[32:24]and it's cheese

[32:25]and every time

[32:26]she would pick the cheese.

[32:27]She's so lazy.

[32:28]She's like,

[32:29]I'll just take the cheese.

[32:30]I don't care.

[32:30]It doesn't matter

[32:31]if it's not what I want.

[32:32]Yeah, that's amazing.

[32:33]You can get your own pepperonis

[32:34]and put them on there

[32:35]if you want.

[32:35]Russell, you went out

[32:37]and what happened

[32:38]with your nephew?

[32:38]We went to a restaurant

[32:40]where the tavern

[32:42]in Apple Valley,

[32:42]I'd recommend it.

[32:43]It's kind of by my mom's house.

[32:45]There's a tavern,

[32:46]off of France.

[32:47]You know what they call that?

[32:49]You know what they call that?

[32:50]I believe it'd be

[32:50]the Tavern on France.

[32:51]Tavern on France.

[32:53]There's a few of those.

[32:54]There's one up in Blaine.

[32:55]There's one in Apple Valley,

[32:56]which is South Metro,

[32:57]I would say, Matt.

[32:58]There's one in Blaine called.

[32:59]The thing is,

[33:00]is that this is exactly,

[33:01]you guys are joking,

[33:02]but this is exactly

[33:03]what people from the cities

[33:04]sound like when they talk.

[33:05]They think it's so fun

[33:06]to remember

[33:07]like these little roads.

[33:08]What is the cities?

[33:08]What are you talking about?

[33:09]What's the cities?

[33:10]Anywhere from Blaine

[33:12]all the way up to like,

[33:13]I don't know,

[33:13]Forest Lake.

[33:14]All the way down to Lake,

[33:16]Lakeville,

[33:16]the whole thing.

[33:17]Now I'm doing it.

[33:18]It calls a tavern.

[33:19]But we go to this restaurant

[33:21]and get, you know,

[33:21]burgers, pizza, salads.

[33:23]They got everything.

[33:24]Huge menu, right?

[33:25]And my nephew

[33:26]is running off

[33:27]the kid's menu

[33:28]and he orders pizza

[33:29]with like sausage,

[33:31]no cheese.

[33:32]And I was like,

[33:33]damn,

[33:33]and he liked it.

[33:34]So I'm like,

[33:35]power to you

[33:36]if that's what you like

[33:36]and you don't want

[33:37]the cheese.

[33:37]Do they do the thing

[33:38]where they like,

[33:39]you get a little notepad

[33:41]and you're like checking off

[33:42]what you want on it and stuff?

[33:43]No, no.

[33:43]They took the order, man,

[33:45]and they nailed it,

[33:46]right?

[33:46]And I was kind of worried

[33:47]because I feel like

[33:48]that's like a 51% chance

[33:51]that gets messed up, right?

[33:52]Yeah.

[33:53]Is this kid,

[33:54]is this kid

[33:55]probably smarter

[33:56]than all of us

[33:57]because, you know,

[33:57]ever since Rob was talking

[33:59]about his tummy

[34:00]with ice cream and stuff,

[34:01]I've realized that,

[34:02]you know what,

[34:02]I've got that same affliction.

[34:04]I just,

[34:04]it's a,

[34:05]if I love ice cream,

[34:07]but it's going to be

[34:08]two days of rolling the dice.

[34:10]Oh.

[34:10]Let me tell you.

[34:11]Wow.

[34:12]You know what I think

[34:13]would be nice

[34:13]in that situation, though,

[34:14]is no mozzarella

[34:16]but like a little sprinkling

[34:17]of Parmigiana.

[34:17]Like, I think that'd be nice.

[34:19]Just like the

[34:19]No.

[34:20]Sausages and cheese.

[34:21]That's what my nephew

[34:22]also said here.

[34:23]He was like,

[34:23]could you guys please

[34:24]sprinkle a little Parmigiana

[34:25]on there?

[34:26]That's what I'm talking about, man.

[34:27]Me and your nephew

[34:28]should hang out.

[34:28]I'll tell you when to stop.

[34:29]Can you,

[34:30]you guys,

[34:32]I hate to say this,

[34:33]but you guys are actually

[34:35]the problem right now

[34:36]with America.

[34:36]Russell should have

[34:37]immediately picked up

[34:38]his nephew and spanked him.

[34:39]This is not appropriate

[34:41]to get a pizza without cheese.

[34:42]At some point,

[34:43]an adult needs to step in

[34:44]and say, no,

[34:45]you're just ordering a

[34:46]bread with meat on it.

[34:47]Okay, this is a sandwich.

[34:48]This is an open-faced sandwich.

[34:49]I'm going to argue the same thing

[34:50]about a cheese pizza.

[34:50]It's not the cheese.

[34:52]You need cheese on a pizza.

[34:53]That's like,

[34:54]put some meat on it.

[34:55]I think any of the

[34:56]pizza

[34:59]I would say

[34:59]that pizza

[35:00]is more masculine, Aaron.

[35:02]Yeah.

[35:03]Or Rob said

[35:03]that the pizza

[35:04]no cheese,

[35:05]that the cheese pizza.

[35:06]Just give it to me.

[35:06]Just give me the bread

[35:07]and the sauce.

[35:08]Maybe throw some meat

[35:08]on there if you want.

[35:09]You put way more meat

[35:11]and less cheese.

[35:11]You know what, Russell?

[35:12]Yeah.

[35:12]That is a masculine pizza.

[35:14]That's like a pizza

[35:15]that a man would eat.

[35:15]You're a hundred

[35:16]percent right.

[35:16]Yep.

[35:17]The bandwagon.

[35:17]Wow.

[35:18]Can I ask you, Rob?

[35:20]Is either of you guys

[35:22]getting tripped out

[35:23]by Rob's shirt

[35:23]at the angle of the lines?

[35:25]Yeah.

[35:25]A little bit.

[35:26]You guys are lucky

[35:28]I'm wearing a shirt today.

[35:29]It's fucking freezing

[35:30]in this apartment.

[35:30]I think some kid

[35:31]has a window open.

[35:32]It's so cold here.

[35:33]It's crazy.

[35:34]All right.

[35:36]Let's get it.

[35:36]Oh, we are in Rolling.

[35:37]That was my Rolling going.

[35:38]So that was it for me.

[35:40]I was Rolling going with Rob

[35:41]in his trippy shirt.

[35:42]Listen.

[35:43]As you guys

[35:46]know,

[35:46]tonight was one of my

[35:48]biggest drinking nights

[35:49]of the year.

[35:50]That's why I'm so tired.

[35:51]It was the holiday

[35:52]tree lighting

[35:53]at Roosevelt Island.

[35:55]Okay.

[35:56]Where they light the tree

[35:57]and they bring out Santa

[35:59]and it's freezing

[36:00]and it's me

[36:01]and a bunch of little kids.

[36:02]And once again,

[36:03]I do what I did every year.

[36:04]I drank two drinks too many

[36:07]and I went

[36:08]and I yelled at Santa.

[36:09]Okay.

[36:10]So I now have some tape

[36:11]that I'm going to play

[36:12]of you guys

[36:13]of me at the Christmas

[36:14]tree lighting festival.

[36:15]Okay.

[36:15]It's going to be

[36:16]happy last Santa.

[36:17]Oh God.

[36:18]Yeah,

[36:20]Santa.

[36:21]That girl's staring at you.

[36:24]And you can see

[36:26]Santa's only like

[36:27]10 feet away.

[36:27]This time he came to me.

[36:28]I'm very excited about Santa.

[36:29]Santa,

[36:31]yeah.

[36:31]And then if you go

[36:34]to the next video

[36:35]that's in my camera roll.

[36:36]your daughter,

[36:37]she's concerned about

[36:37]getting you kicked out

[36:38]of the tree lighting.

[36:39]No,

[36:39]that's my friend Nicole.

[36:40]Ah.

[36:41]Okay.

[36:41]She wasn't that concerned.

[36:43]Rob has all his videos

[36:44]and pictures up.

[36:45]There's no one,

[36:46]Santa.

[36:46]Oh my gosh.

[36:47]He's right here.

[36:49]Woo.

[36:50]He's holding up a big

[36:52]Yenny tree

[36:53]like a mere hours ago.

[36:54]Oh yes.

[36:56]So then,

[36:57]I've been-

[36:59]Rob has the top 1%

[37:00]of selfies in his phone.

[37:02]I guarantee it.

[37:02]I love selfies.

[37:05]You should always

[37:06]take pictures.

[37:06]You know what's boring?

[37:07]A picture of the Grand Canyon.

[37:09]I can look it up

[37:09]and lie and say it.

[37:10]You know what's not boring?

[37:11]A picture of me

[37:12]with the Grand Canyon behind me.

[37:13]Yelling at Santa.

[37:14]Yelling at Santa.

[37:15]This is not a picture of me.

[37:15]This is not a picture of me.

[37:16]This is not boring.

[37:16]But,

[37:16]well, first of all,

[37:18]this is a big event for my family.

[37:19]I've been texting about it all day

[37:21]with my kids saying,

[37:21]are you guys excited for Santa?

[37:23]Are you guys excited for Santa?

[37:24]Jenny's saying,

[37:25]it seems like it's very cold out.

[37:26]I don't want to go.

[37:27]Everyone's saying,

[37:27]I'm doing something.

[37:28]I'm busy.

[37:29]And me forcing everybody to go.

[37:30]And then my older daughter

[37:32]did something.

[37:32]Oh no.

[37:33]She announced that

[37:35]she was bringing a boy.

[37:36]Nice.

[37:36]And she wanted me

[37:37]to meet this boy.

[37:38]Is he 6'2"?

[37:39]Wait,

[37:39]this is different

[37:40]than the other boy?

[37:40]The boy is,

[37:42]I believe,

[37:43]taller than me.

[37:43]Okay.

[37:44]Which was,

[37:46]psychically harmful.

[37:46]Except for,

[37:47]when he did come in the apartment.

[37:49]Now,

[37:49]here's the question I had.

[37:50]Do I hit him

[37:53]with the,

[37:54]when I shake his hand,

[37:55]do I hit him with the,

[37:56]hey,

[37:57]I'm Mr.

[37:58]Okay?

[37:58]Or do I hit him with the,

[38:00]I'm Rob.

[38:01]You have to bleep that out.

[38:01]What?

[38:02]shit.

[38:03]Okay,

[38:04]do I hit him with the,

[38:05]I'm Mr.

[38:05]W.

[38:05]Or,

[38:06]I'm Rob.

[38:07]Which one do you do?

[38:08]Rob.

[38:09]You do Rob.

[38:10]You don't big time at Russell?

[38:12]Come on now.

[38:12]I think you go first name

[38:14]and you lure him in as a buddy

[38:15]and then,

[38:16]and then you.

[38:16]Oh,

[38:17]right.

[38:17]So,

[38:18]it turns out that is what I did.

[38:20]Jenny,

[38:20]on the other hand,

[38:21]had a little bit of a different tact.

[38:23]She didn't say doctor.

[38:24]She did not.

[38:25]She's got to be lifting.

[38:26]She was like,

[38:26]I'm doctor.

[38:27]I got,

[38:28]I got a,

[38:29]I got a hundred dollars

[38:30]to say she's lifting

[38:30]when he comes in the house.

[38:32]No,

[38:32]she was sitting,

[38:34]she was sitting on the couch,

[38:35]but the moment he came in,

[38:37]she goes,

[38:38]right now,

[38:39]any number of reps,

[38:41]you and me,

[38:41]let's see who can bench more.

[38:43]You pick the reps.

[38:43]It can be as many reps as possible.

[38:45]We can rub,

[38:46]one rep max.

[38:47]And then she turns

[38:47]and she goes,

[38:48]I don't even need to warm up.

[38:50]And I was like,

[38:51]oh,

[38:51]dang,

[38:51]this was right off the bat.

[38:53]And she kept saying,

[38:54]let's bench,

[38:54]let's bench.

[38:55]And he was like,

[38:55]okay,

[38:56]we're going to see you guys.

[38:56]She lost.

[38:58]He,

[38:58]he was so confused

[38:59]because if you see this woman

[39:01]just yelling at you,

[39:01]how many reps max I'll rep.

[39:03]And he's like,

[39:04]what are you talking?

[39:05]He didn't even know

[39:05]what she was talking about.

[39:06]I had to like explain to her,

[39:08]like Jenny,

[39:08]not everybody is thinking

[39:09]about bench press all the time.

[39:10]Okay.

[39:11]But he was big timed

[39:13]by this girl's mom

[39:14]saying that she was going

[39:15]to bench more than him,

[39:16]which I think she could have.

[39:17]Is bench press the,

[39:18]the standard for assessing

[39:21]a person's strength?

[39:21]I would have thought

[39:22]she might've squatted him,

[39:23]but bench press.

[39:24]No,

[39:24]no,

[39:25]no.

[39:25]It's gotta be the bench.

[39:27]Yeah.

[39:27]To be beaten by a girlfriend's mom

[39:29]on bench press would be

[39:31]the most humiliating lift

[39:32]to lose to.

[39:33]Right.

[39:33]Right.

[39:33]Yeah.

[39:34]I mean,

[39:34]is there one,

[39:35]maybe if she curled

[39:35]more than you.

[39:36]So anyway,

[39:38]you guys are,

[39:39]you guys are trying

[39:40]to inhibit this

[39:42]from going well

[39:42]by doing that though.

[39:43]You're aware.

[39:44]She is.

[39:45]He left and I turned to her

[39:46]and I go,

[39:46]I go,

[39:47]Jen,

[39:47]have you lost your damn mind?

[39:48]I said,

[39:49]what are you doing?

[39:50]Telling him the bench press.

[39:51]I said,

[39:51]we have to at least be normal

[39:52]for a little bit.

[39:53]She doesn't.

[39:54]Jenny likes to cause trouble.

[39:55]Everybody thinks I like

[39:56]to cause trouble.

[39:56]I want to remind you,

[39:57]Jenny's the one

[39:58]who got dressed in her spandex

[39:59]and benched in the middle

[40:00]of one of Amelia's parties.

[40:02]So there was no

[40:03]bench press competition tonight.

[40:04]There was no

[40:05]bench press competition.

[40:06]It was,

[40:06]he was immediately shuttled off

[40:08]and taken back outside.

[40:10]She was too embarrassed.

[40:11]So.

[40:11]What do you think

[40:12]was going on outside then?

[40:14]I did hit him with the rob.

[40:15]So I was kind to him.

[40:17]So we'll see how it goes,

[40:18]but I don't know.

[40:20]It's tough,

[40:21]but that's the tree lighting

[40:24]ceremony story.

[40:24]Did you give him

[40:25]like a handshake

[40:26]or a bro hug

[40:27]or what was I did?

[40:28]I did give him a handshake,

[40:29]but I did do that thing

[40:31]where I put my middle finger

[40:31]in the middle

[40:32]and kind of wiggled it

[40:32]like this too.

[40:33]I actually think,

[40:35]you know,

[40:36]that's the funny,

[40:36]I'd like,

[40:36]I know that the strong,

[40:38]extra strong handshake

[40:39]is like a,

[40:40]that's a thing

[40:41]that we've grown up with,

[40:42]but I think like a big hug

[40:43]where like he can

[40:44]feel how strong

[40:44]your posterior chain is.

[40:46]Wow.

[40:46]I think that's it.

[40:47]I think you know,

[40:47]you give the guy a big hug.

[40:48]Right.

[40:49]If I would have hugged him,

[40:50]Aaron,

[40:50]and then Jenny starts

[40:51]challenging him to bench,

[40:53]it would have been

[40:53]the weirdest.

[40:54]You'd have been totally

[40:56]just,

[40:57]he couldn't do,

[40:57]what could you do

[40:58]for the rest of the night?

[40:59]Yeah, man.

[40:59]He'd be like,

[41:00]okay, well I'm going to,

[41:00]you know,

[41:01]treat this house

[41:02]with respect.

[41:03]I mean,

[41:03]you have to realize

[41:05]that the mom

[41:07]challenging him to a bench

[41:08]is probably like,

[41:11]it decreases the odds

[41:12]he goes out

[41:13]with your daughter by,

[41:14]at least a third.

[41:14]Oh no.

[41:16]No.

[41:16]Increase.

[41:17]At least.

[41:17]Oh no,

[41:18]don't do that.

[41:19]Look at the danger.

[41:19]That would be terrible.

[41:21]He's like,

[41:22]I'm doing it.

[41:23]And it also,

[41:24]it also increases the odds

[41:26]she never brings people

[41:27]to your house again

[41:28]and goes out other places.

[41:29]Wow.

[41:30]Listen,

[41:31]when you come into our house

[41:33]and Jenny's bench pressing

[41:35]and I'm playing video games

[41:36]with my noise cancelling

[41:36]headphones on,

[41:37]why do you want to bring people

[41:39]into that environment

[41:39]to see what's going on?

[41:40]Yeah.

[41:41]He comes in and I'm like,

[41:43]do you know

[41:44]if Matt Stafford

[41:44]threw an interception?

[41:45]I'm playing video games.

[41:46]I'm not even watching the game

[41:47]I gambled on.

[41:48]Rolling going, man.

[41:50]How's it going with you?

[41:51]Can I ask one thing though?

[41:52]So Jenny,

[41:53]Jenny got competitive

[41:54]and wanted to show

[41:56]she's stronger than him.

[41:57]What,

[41:57]what did you do to like

[41:58]show that you were cool?

[41:59]Like,

[41:59]did you talk about your video game

[42:01]or what,

[42:01]what did you do to kind of

[42:03]be the cool dad?

[42:04]The problem is,

[42:06]is that they came in.

[42:07]Remember that video

[42:08]I played earlier

[42:09]with me yelling?

[42:10]They came in about 10 minutes

[42:12]after that video was filmed.

[42:14]Okay.

[42:14]I was totally exhausted.

[42:16]Okay.

[42:17]I was kind of,

[42:18]I was,

[42:19]you know what I was doing?

[42:19]I was eating a giant poke bowl.

[42:21]So immediately I was emasculated.

[42:23]He came in when I was using

[42:24]chopsticks.

[42:25]You were in your refractory period.

[42:25]Yeah.

[42:26]I was in,

[42:27]I was in my refractory period,

[42:28]Aaron.

[42:28]Thank you very much.

[42:29]I had to reload

[42:29]before I started yelling again.

[42:31]Yeah.

[42:31]Okay.

[42:32]Yeah.

[42:32]No,

[42:32]Russell,

[42:32]I didn't do anything.

[42:33]I kind of stared at the ground.

[42:34]It was,

[42:35]I was not good.

[42:36]I didn't talk to him.

[42:36]I should have done a better job.

[42:38]Next time I'm going to focus,

[42:39]I'm going to be ready

[42:40]and I'm going to give him a hug.

[42:42]I think that's a good advice by Aaron.

[42:43]I'm telling you,

[42:43]man,

[42:43]like get in there

[42:44]and just like let him,

[42:45]let him feel your.

[42:46]Or you could do,

[42:47]this is the,

[42:48]what the pro wrestlers always do.

[42:49]They do like the limp handshake.

[42:51]It's to show that like,

[42:52]it'll be easy with you in the ring.

[42:54]It's kind of like a very soft handshake.

[42:56]Maybe you could go with the,

[42:57]the soft handshake route.

[42:59]Maybe that's your move.

[43:00]I had a,

[43:01]I brought a friend over once

[43:03]to another friend's house

[43:04]and he pissed the dad off so bad

[43:07]because he would only shake

[43:08]with his left hand.

[43:10]He would reach out

[43:11]his left hand to shake

[43:12]and it drove the dad fucking nuts.

[43:16]The guy would leave and he'd go,

[43:16]he only shakes with his left hand.

[43:18]What the fuck?

[43:19]And I was like,

[43:19]oh,

[43:20]I didn't even think about that.

[43:20]But that's like the,

[43:21]it's like,

[43:22]you know,

[43:22]it's kind of the equivalent

[43:23]of the Trump handshake

[43:23]where he brings him in real close

[43:25]and like yanks him.

[43:25]I always like that too

[43:27]where you kind of grab him

[43:28]and you're kind of yanking him around

[43:29]a little bit,

[43:30]showing him who a real man is.

[43:31]I used to always joke

[43:32]that I've got a mental edge

[43:33]on someone.

[43:34]If you were a left-handed handshaker,

[43:36]you have a mental edge on everyone.

[43:37]Oh,

[43:38]totally.

[43:39]I'll never forget you.

[43:40]Matt,

[43:40]rolling going on.

[43:41]How's it going with you?

[43:41]Good.

[43:43]Did you hear what the

[43:44]word of the year was

[43:45]from dictionary.com?

[43:46]No,

[43:47]what was it?

[43:47]Word of the year

[43:49]was something called

[43:50]demure,

[43:52]demure.

[43:52]Oh yeah,

[43:53]demure.

[43:53]Demure.

[43:55]Yeah.

[43:55]You know what the definition

[43:56]of demure is?

[43:58]It's like very,

[43:59]it's like very casual,

[44:01]right?

[44:01]Reserved,

[44:03]modest,

[44:03]and shy.

[44:04]Typically used of a woman.

[44:05]So a demure young lady.

[44:07]I can't say that.

[44:08]That's the word.

[44:09]You got it.

[44:09]You're right.

[44:10]That's the word of the year.

[44:11]Why would that be the word

[44:12]of the year?

[44:12]Because there was a TikTok.

[44:15]Yeah.

[44:16]Very.

[44:16]I know this one.

[44:17]I know this one.

[44:18]Yeah.

[44:19]Where they're saying

[44:20]they're being very mindful,

[44:21]very demure.

[44:21]Very mindful,

[44:22]very modest,

[44:23]very demure.

[44:24]But I mix them both

[44:26]because I'm what?

[44:27]Very demure.

[44:27]I'm very cute with.

[44:29]So basically,

[44:30]it just shows people

[44:31]that they played

[44:33]that song clip.

[44:33]Aaron,

[44:34]don't,

[44:34]I can't explain TikToks to you.

[44:36]That's a sound

[44:36]from a different video

[44:37]on a different video.

[44:39]No.

[44:39]Okay.

[44:39]If you're not putting in

[44:41]three to four hours

[44:41]over Thanksgiving like I was,

[44:43]don't even talk to me about TikTok.

[44:44]I was in the mines

[44:45]over this long Thanksgiving break.

[44:47]I was in the TikTok mines

[44:48]every day,

[44:49]clocking in,

[44:50]clocking out

[44:50]five, six hours a day.

[44:51]I know.

[44:52]No days off for you.

[44:53]And all it was,

[44:54]sexy ladies in the office

[44:55]walking toward me.

[44:56]Being demure.

[44:57]So mindful,

[44:59]so demure.

[45:00]Those ladies are very demure.

[45:01]So there was five runners up.

[45:03]One of them really caught my eye,

[45:05]but I thought we'd go

[45:06]through the runners up.

[45:07]Love it.

[45:09]Just to say.

[45:09]So the number two one

[45:11]really caught my ear.

[45:13]Caught my eye?

[45:14]I don't know.

[45:15]Okay.

[45:15]Let's go from number five.

[45:18]Number five word of the year

[45:20]was weird.

[45:21]Oh.

[45:22]That's the year's

[45:23]most surprising word

[45:24]is the short list.

[45:25]Fuck off.

[45:26]Weird.

[45:26]Generally a word.

[45:27]Weird.

[45:27]Such common usage.

[45:29]Yeah, but I don't know.

[45:31]Typically, what does it say?

[45:32]Yeah, I got a text

[45:32]from Tim Walz yesterday

[45:33]just about flew off the handle

[45:35]and I was like,

[45:35]oh, I can just write stop.

[45:37]It's okay.

[45:37]Aaron, it's not

[45:39]really Tim Walz.

[45:39]I'm just going to tell you right now.

[45:40]But they put his picture in there.

[45:41]I was like,

[45:42]I never want to see this guy again.

[45:43]That doesn't mean anything, Aaron.

[45:44]I suppose he and Colin Geertz.

[45:46]That's why weird.

[45:46]Yeah, that's why I got it in there.

[45:47]Well, this is maybe

[45:49]a slight theme

[45:50]because number four

[45:50]is Midwest nice.

[45:51]So I'm guessing

[45:53]it's a word of the year?

[45:54]Wait, Midwest nice?

[45:55]I've never heard

[45:56]of Midwest nice.

[45:57]Oh.

[45:57]That's a word?

[45:59]It's Minnesota nice.

[45:59]In Minnesota, it's so nice.

[46:01]Midwest nice.

[46:02]You know what?

[46:02]Get the fuck out of here.

[46:04]It's a fucking bullshit.

[46:04]Midwest trying to take our shit.

[46:06]Oh, yeah.

[46:07]Minnesotans.

[46:07]Oh, so nice.

[46:08]Fuck off.

[46:09]They're not fucking nice.

[46:11]They're not at all.

[46:12]Ohio's in the Midwest.

[46:13]Fuck off.

[46:14]Get the fuck out of here

[46:15]with that shit.

[46:16]It's Minnesota nice.

[46:17]We get it.

[46:17]The rest of these fucking

[46:19]Midwest state fuckers.

[46:20]Number three.

[46:20]Number three is extreme weather.

[46:22]That's the number three

[46:23]word of the year.

[46:24]These are multiple words.

[46:25]That is multiple.

[46:26]It's just a roll of stone, guys.

[46:30]I'm going to go to number one

[46:32]and we're going to skip over

[46:33]number two.

[46:34]But number one is brain rot,

[46:35]which is technically one word.

[46:37]Yes.

[46:37]But brain rot.

[46:37]Brain rot.

[46:37]That's a good one.

[46:38]There is so much brain rot

[46:40]at my school this year.

[46:40]It's crazy.

[46:41]Okay.

[46:42]Number two.

[46:43]Number two.

[46:44]Number nine.

[46:46]Is the word.

[46:48]The number two on the list

[46:50]is brat.

[46:50]Oh.

[46:51]Brat.

[46:51]Robbie.

[46:52]Robbie.

[46:53]Robbie.

[46:55]Robbie.

[46:55]That's me playing

[46:56]all these sounds, Robbie.

[46:57]The new usage of brat

[47:00]redefines the word,

[47:01]using it to refer to someone

[47:02]who is confidently rebellious,

[47:04]unapologetically old,

[47:06]and playfully

[47:06]and unapologetically

[47:07]defiant.

[47:08]God damn, is that hot.

[47:09]Oh.

[47:09]I mean, just somebody

[47:11]who is not going to do

[47:13]what you tell them.

[47:13]Oh, my God.

[47:14]Okay.

[47:16]Wait a minute.

[47:16]I'm not going to bet your wife

[47:18]in your apartment, Robbie.

[47:19]I think every female

[47:21]in my life is a brat.

[47:22]I don't have a female in my life

[47:23]that will listen to a thing I say.

[47:25]Who did this list?

[47:25]This is dictionary.com.

[47:28]Dictionary.com.

[47:29]All right.

[47:29]They clearly do not know

[47:30]what a word is.

[47:30]They're going by the search

[47:34]of the word on their website.

[47:36]Allegedly.

[47:37]So we, you know,

[47:38]Russell is brat.

[47:39]How many times has Brad show up

[47:41]for Beck did it better in our SEO?

[47:42]It's got to be in there a ton.

[47:43]Russell, we're going to make bank

[47:45]with this new words.

[47:46]If they listen.

[47:48]If one of the words of the year

[47:50]is Locktober, we're set.

[47:52]We've got to be a top three

[47:54]Locktober podcast.

[47:55]It could be for sure.

[47:57]What if it's Drew Locktober?

[47:58]Drew Locktober.

[47:59]Yes.

[48:00]Does he still have a starting

[48:01]job anywhere?

[48:02]Damn.

[48:02]I don't think so.

[48:05]That's crazy.

[48:07]What if, what if, what if,

[48:09]how about this?

[48:09]What if I put a cock cage on

[48:13]a mythical creature who lives

[48:14]in Scotland?

[48:14]It's Locknestober.

[48:16]Wait, Lockcock, Cocklock,

[48:19]Nestober.

[48:21]Have you guys heard of that

[48:22]new advanced NBA stat?

[48:23]They call them stocks.

[48:24]It's steals plus Blockstober.

[48:26]I love a new stat.

[48:30]Like baseball.

[48:31]I don't know what war is.

[48:32]I have no idea what war means

[48:34]in baseball, but every time

[48:35]they're talking about it,

[48:35]every time they're talking

[48:36]about wars, I'm like,

[48:37]fuck yeah, I get it, man.

[48:39]What do you think our word?

[48:40]What's it?

[48:41]What's our individual war

[48:42]on this podcast?

[48:42]If you replace it,

[48:44]we are under replacement level.

[48:45]All of us.

[48:46]Uh, the B.U.

[48:48]And I guess, yeah,

[48:49]you're right.

[48:50]We're just Ted Williams of it.

[48:51]The rest of us are like,

[48:52]that's true.

[48:53]Where we got to go now.

[48:55]Russell rolling, going,

[48:56]how's it going with you?

[48:56]Rolling, going guys.

[48:57]I thought I would share.

[48:58]I know.

[48:58]I think there was a,

[48:59]maybe something on the text chain.

[49:01]I got my Spotify rap this week.

[49:03]I thought I could share some

[49:04]of my Spotify rap things with you.

[49:06]I want to hear about it.

[49:08]Just a heads up.

[49:08]I'm total minutes.

[49:09]Listen, 46,437.

[49:12]Oh, wow.

[49:13]Really?

[49:14]Tell what's on your rap, Russell.

[49:15]I got to hear this.

[49:16]Well, you thought that was,

[49:17]this was crazy.

[49:18]My number one,

[49:19]I'll go my top five songs

[49:21]for the year.

[49:22]Okay.

[49:22]I'll go five to one.

[49:24]Okay.

[49:24]Five to one.

[49:24]Number five is exile

[49:26]featuring Boney Bear

[49:27]by Taylor Swift.

[49:28]Okay.

[49:29]Really?

[49:30]Yep.

[49:30]We did that one.

[49:31]I still don't get Boney Bear.

[49:33]We did that one on the list.

[49:34]It was on a,

[49:35]what album is that one,

[49:36]Aaron?

[49:36]Boney Bear?

[49:39]Yes, we did.

[49:40]Taylor Swift.

[49:41]That's

[49:42]Roy's favorite album.

[49:44]Hopefully.

[49:44]Yeah, yeah.

[49:45]Wow.

[49:49]I still don't get Boney Bear.

[49:50]You guys like Boney Bear?

[49:51]I love this song,

[49:53]but I don't.

[49:53]I like his,

[49:54]I like the track he did

[49:55]with Chief Keef.

[49:56]Kanye,

[49:58]which we're unfortunately

[49:59]going to have to listen to

[50:00]on Yeezus,

[50:00]but it's a good track.

[50:01]Somehow this one's on there

[50:04]which makes me think

[50:04]this system isn't right

[50:06]or I must,

[50:06]I must have put something

[50:07]on repeat

[50:07]and didn't remember it.

[50:09]It's a choir song

[50:11]called Barbara Allen

[50:11]by the University

[50:12]of Michigan Men's Choir,

[50:14]which I don't remember

[50:15]listening to at all.

[50:15]Nope.

[50:17]What?

[50:18]So how does it,

[50:19]I don't know.

[50:20]Let's hear it though.

[50:21]We got to hear it.

[50:22]Russell,

[50:27]what the fuck is going on?

[50:29]Pulling up for number three.

[50:30]Are you worried?

[50:32]We're going to get through this.

[50:33]Aren't you worried

[50:34]that this is on your list?

[50:35]Like somebody's breaking it down?

[50:36]You're going into your house

[50:37]and like,

[50:37]I don't know.

[50:38]This is scary.

[50:39]If you woke up

[50:40]and went downstairs,

[50:40]this is playing.

[50:41]choir songs during the year.

[50:43]So I could have played it.

[50:44]I don't know what happened,

[50:45]but it's on the list.

[50:46]Number three,

[50:47]which I definitely know

[50:49]this one.

[50:50]And I,

[50:51]this is my favorite song

[50:52]of the year.

[50:52]Number three,

[50:53]it's Beastie Boys

[50:55]Rhyming and Stealing.

[50:56]Okay.

[50:57]Rhyming and Stealing.

[50:58]This is what I,

[50:59]I listen to this every day

[51:01]in the car

[51:01]multiple times.

[51:03]Every day?

[51:03]Not every day,

[51:04]but every day

[51:05]for about a week,

[51:05]a couple weeks.

[51:06]This is the Zeppelin sample.

[51:07]Yes.

[51:08]This is a good one,

[51:12]Russell.

[51:12]I like this.

[51:14]Matt,

[51:20]this is the number one

[51:21]Beastie Boys song.

[51:22]Number one.

[51:23]It's,

[51:25]it's a top 10.

[51:26]And you guys thought

[51:28]it was crazy.

[51:28]I could see why

[51:28]it would be on here.

[51:29]Number two on my list.

[51:31]One Shining Moment

[51:33]by Darren,

[51:34]David Barrett

[51:35]and Luther Vandross.

[51:36]One Shining Moment.

[51:37]This is so,

[51:39]this is so crazy to me.

[51:42]There's a reason

[51:42]the top two are on the list.

[51:44]I'll have to tell you guys

[51:44]those later, but.

[51:45]So I bet I listened to this

[51:48]200 times this year,

[51:49]at least.

[51:50]Russell, are you okay?

[51:52]I've,

[51:52]you might not think so

[51:54]after this last one.

[51:55]Oh, was this,

[51:56]was this work related?

[51:57]Yes.

[51:57]Is that why

[51:57]I didn't watch Shining Moment?

[51:58]Yeah, that's all he was.

[51:59]Yeah.

[51:59]And then the number one.

[52:01]I just picture Russell

[52:02]sitting in his car

[52:03]when he pulls into work,

[52:04]play this song,

[52:05]tears.

[52:06]Screaming down his eyes.

[52:07]The song is you're going in

[52:08]to start your day.

[52:09]Like, what more do you want?

[52:10]I couldn't do it.

[52:12]Emotionally, I couldn't do it.

[52:14]But I get it.

[52:16]I get it.

[52:16]Just one Shining Moment

[52:18]over and over.

[52:19]My number one

[52:21]top song,

[52:22]which we discussed

[52:23]this guy a few weeks ago,

[52:24]is by Danny Elfman.

[52:25]It's the Batman theme.

[52:26]Danny Elfman.

[52:27]Danny Elfman.

[52:28]Danny Elfman back again.

[52:29]Batman theme.

[52:31]What are you talking about, Russell?

[52:32]What is going on?

[52:34]Right here.

[52:35]Yeah.

[52:36]Oh, yeah.

[52:37]This is badass.

[52:38]Yeah, you're right.

[52:39]Guys, once again,

[52:41]this proves

[52:42]Russell is getting ass.

[52:45]I love to hear it.

[52:46]Russell is having sex

[52:48]with a Batman theme.

[52:49]This is so great.

[52:50]So it's beyond the top songs.

[52:52]Spotify rap gives you

[52:53]a bunch of other things.

[52:54]And so they give you

[52:55]an evolution of music

[52:56]where they tell you,

[52:57]here's what you were in February,

[52:58]June, July.

[52:59]So here's what they told me

[53:01]I was listening to.

[53:01]And they were like,

[53:03]we've never seen

[53:04]a Spotify rap like this.

[53:05]We want to study you for science.

[53:06]Yeah, Spotify's data science team

[53:07]is good.

[53:08]And they're just counting things.

[53:09]They're just counting.

[53:10]Counting matters.

[53:11]How many listeners do we have?

[53:14]Don't count stuff like that.

[53:16]That doesn't count.

[53:18]Actually, Rob,

[53:19]we might have to share

[53:19]that Spotify rap

[53:20]because I think we really do know

[53:22]how many people listen after that.

[53:23]Next.

[53:25]So this is what I was listening to

[53:26]in February.

[53:27]They say I was into

[53:28]Sweater Weather Strut Pop

[53:31]featuring Taylor Swift.

[53:32]Sweater Weather Strut Pop.

[53:34]Taylor Swift,

[53:35]John C.

[53:36]And Michael Jackson.

[53:37]Really?

[53:39]Yes.

[53:39]Sweater Weather Strut Pop.

[53:41]Wow.

[53:41]And then in June,

[53:43]I moved into my

[53:44]psychedelic beatless

[53:45]classic rock season.

[53:46]Okay.

[53:47]All right.

[53:47]And then in August,

[53:49]this was obviously

[53:51]when I moved into

[53:51]the Danny Elfman time frame.

[53:53]It was theatrical

[53:54]Hollywood soundtracks.

[53:55]Oh.

[53:56]So something about August,

[53:58]something about the middle

[53:58]of summer,

[53:59]Russ is like,

[53:59]oh, that's hot out.

[54:01]Better put on this

[54:01]fucking Batman theme.

[54:02]I also listened to Danny.

[54:04]So Danny Elfman,

[54:05]Hans Zimmer,

[54:06]and John Williams.

[54:07]And I think we talked

[54:07]about John Williams

[54:08]back in August.

[54:09]John Williams was awesome.

[54:10]That was part of it, too.

[54:11]My number one artist

[54:12]of the year,

[54:13]Danny Elfman,

[54:14]tattoos and all.

[54:15]Wow.

[54:16]Look at this shit.

[54:16]There's my picture

[54:17]of my Spotify rap there.

[54:19]He's right there.

[54:20]He's right there.

[54:22]Danny Elfman.

[54:23]Danny Elfman is like,

[54:25]if Carrot Top

[54:27]made a few different choices.

[54:29]Me and Danny Elfman.

[54:30]He's like if Carrot Top

[54:31]and Danzig had a kid.

[54:32]Like, he's ripped.

[54:33]Yes, exactly.

[54:33]That's exactly what it looks like.

[54:35]He's got weird red hair.

[54:36]Danny Elfman is once again

[54:37]a person whose penis

[54:38]looks just like his body.

[54:39]Oh.

[54:39]It says,

[54:41]I was a top 1% fan.

[54:43]I spent 301 minutes

[54:45]with Danny Elfman this year.

[54:46]301 minutes.

[54:48]That's all it takes?

[54:49]That doesn't seem like that long

[54:51]to be the 1%er fan

[54:52]of Danny Elfman.

[54:53]So ultimately,

[54:54]my top five artists,

[54:55]Danny Elfman won,

[54:56]The Beatles 2,

[54:57]Taylor Swift 3,

[54:59]David Barrett

[55:00]from One Shining Woman 4,

[55:01]and Beyonce number 5.

[55:03]But Rob,

[55:04]I was going to ask.

[55:04]We talked about my spot.

[55:05]I think you sent this out

[55:08]or I believe you sent this out

[55:10]and isn't it essentially

[55:12]we have like 37 listeners

[55:13]that listen to us all the time

[55:15]and no one else?

[55:16]What was the stat?

[55:17]It was,

[55:18]let's see what it was

[55:19]because I've got our Spotify rap

[55:20]for Beck Did It Better

[55:21]creator right here.

[55:23]Okay, so we can watch it.

[55:25]It was,

[55:26]but this is just Spotify.

[55:27]And actually it showed

[55:29]that it showed

[55:31]that we did have

[55:32]a little bit of growth this year.

[55:33]It's kind of exciting,

[55:34]kind of exciting time.

[55:35]Just a little bit.

[55:35]Just a little growth.

[55:36]Just a little growth.

[55:37]It does get bigger

[55:38]as you get older.

[55:39]Just a little bit.

[55:39]Okay, and then it gets smaller

[55:40]and then it gets lower.

[55:41]We gained 16%

[55:43]in our listeners.

[55:44]Pretty good.

[55:45]Hey, so that's like

[55:47]one out of eight.

[55:47]That's 1,500

[55:49]for most years.

[55:49]We gained 1.6 million then.

[55:51]Okay, 31% listeners,

[55:54]15% followers we gained.

[55:56]5 million.

[55:56]Now, I don't know

[55:57]what a follower is,

[55:58]but 75% of our listeners

[56:01]are new fans this year

[56:03]for us on Spotify.

[56:04]So that's kind of fun.

[56:05]That's a million and a half.

[56:05]And the fans have

[56:07]a clear favorite.

[56:08]Which episode was it, Aaron?

[56:09]Of course, it was

[56:12]Bob Dylan bringing it all home.

[56:14]Who remembers that?

[56:17]Russell, can you look up

[56:20]bringing it all home

[56:21]and see what classic bits

[56:22]we did on that episode

[56:23]to make it our favorite episode

[56:24]of the year?

[56:25]Because we got to just do that

[56:26]over and over.

[56:26]We're bombing today.

[56:27]We got to go.

[56:28]Let's just do bits

[56:29]we did that day.

[56:30]This is what it says from our,

[56:32]this is truly what it says

[56:33]directly from Spotify.

[56:35]Yeah.

[56:35]Yeah.

[56:36]The album title

[56:37]is missing a word.

[56:38]It's bringing it all,

[56:39]it's bringing it all back home.

[56:41]Did we upload

[56:42]the wrong album title?

[56:43]Listen, our SEO is not good.

[56:46]We got a problem.

[56:47]That sucks

[56:49]because I'm actually very careful.

[56:50]I always check to see

[56:51]how things are spelled.

[56:51]Okay, I'm sorry.

[56:52]Damn it.

[56:52]Ugh.

[56:54]But you can't change it now, right?

[56:55]Because that'll mess up

[56:56]all the,

[56:56]it's going to screw up everything.

[56:57]That episode was streamed 419%.

[57:00]So obviously,

[57:01]there's some other dummies out there

[57:02]who think the title,

[57:03]the album title is also called it.

[57:05]That's what they're searching.

[57:06]Ever wonder who your audience is?

[57:08]No, I know all the guys.

[57:09]I'm on a text chain with them as well.

[57:11]Well, listen to this.

[57:13]Listeners by age, Russell,

[57:14]you'll like this.

[57:15]Our listeners,

[57:16]18 to 24,

[57:17]3%.

[57:18]3% of our listeners.

[57:20]Where's the 9 to 18 range?

[57:22]9 to 17 range?

[57:24]We've got at least two.

[57:25]A third of our listeners

[57:26]are 55 plus.

[57:27]So we have just tricked

[57:29]a bunch of old people

[57:30]into listening to this show

[57:31]on Spotify.

[57:32]Well, we just lost one,

[57:33]but we'll get to the rest.

[57:35]Two, actually.

[57:37]We lost two.

[57:37]Great job, Rob.

[57:39]Well, listen,

[57:40]I've been going to bring that up.

[57:41]I've been going and downloading

[57:43]on my mom's phone.

[57:44]She doesn't know how to use Spotify.

[57:45]So that counts for one.

[57:46]I'm always getting my family members

[57:48]phones to download this podcast.

[57:49]There we go.

[57:52]Listeners ages 25 to 29

[57:54]grew by 73%.

[57:55]I mean, our key demographic.

[57:57]Yeah, exactly.

[57:58]We travel the globe.

[57:59]We were played in 26 countries.

[58:01]United States was our top country.

[58:03]So obviously,

[58:05]very good.

[58:06]Bob Dylan.

[58:07]America first kind of people.

[58:08]Yeah.

[58:09]Bob Dylan being our top episode

[58:11]is absolutely mind blowing.

[58:12]Russell, did you find anything on that?

[58:13]Do we have anything?

[58:14]Are we sure we did that episode?

[58:15]Bob, you got a new log into Slice.

[58:17]Oh, I'm not logging into Slice.

[58:20]That pizza place is not on there anymore.

[58:22]You got a new one.

[58:23]No, I'm not.

[58:24]I'm not getting fished again.

[58:26]I'm not getting fished by me.

[58:27]The only fishing my pizza place

[58:28]should be doing is some anchovies.

[58:30]Rob, what episode was that?

[58:31]165?

[58:32]181?

[58:34]Russell's not sure we did that.

[58:35]I don't think we did it.

[58:37]Go look at Spotify.

[58:38]We did it.

[58:39]Beck did it better.

[58:41]Bob Dylan.

[58:43]Bringing it on home.

[58:46]Bringing it all back home.

[58:48]Back home.

[58:49]Whatever.

[58:50]Bringing it all back home.

[58:52]Bringing it all home.

[58:53]Here we go, folks.

[58:54]Okay, here's the description of it.

[58:56]Folks, I'm in a work meeting.

[58:58]I can't write anything funny here.

[58:59]It's Bob Dylan.

[59:00]We talk about Moby Dick.

[59:01]What more do you want?

[59:02]I was going to say,

[59:04]I had no comments on that.

[59:05]That must have been a late Sunday.

[59:07]You know what?

[59:08]We also have no comments.

[59:09]You know what this is, Russell.

[59:10]It's Rob talking.

[59:11]This is, no.

[59:13]You know what the parody song is.

[59:15]That's why this is the best play.

[59:16]Oh, it's the Chupacabra.

[59:18]So this is all just John from Edina

[59:20]listening over and over again.

[59:21]This is John from Edina.

[59:21]This is John from Edina

[59:22]listening over and over.

[59:23]Let's hear this.

[59:25]Oh, yeah.

[59:25]Yeah, Russell's in the basement

[59:27]jacking off the cryptids.

[59:29]Block that monster.

[59:30]Gives him a boner.

[59:31]Chupacabra makes him whack off.

[59:33]Back off.

[59:34]He grows big foot.

[59:35]Okay, I get it.

[59:37]Russell admits he jacks off.

[59:38]I just love Russell as soon as it's over.

[59:40]Makes him want to blast again.

[59:42]Then he pulls down his pants

[59:44]looking at some mermaids.

[59:45]A woman with a body of a fish

[59:47]will make a Russell spring.

[59:48]He wants to fuck the Jersey Devil.

[59:49]At least it's country for a roll.

[59:51]Oh, yeah, it's country for a roll.

[59:53]When you want to hear him out

[59:54]the rain is down.

[59:55]That's also what Russell,

[59:56]Russell, I remember,

[59:57]I can still picture him.

[59:58]He's looking down like he is

[59:59]and he goes,

[60:00]oh, what the fuck?

[60:01]I might have to check

[60:03]the Upstairs Roommate Spotify rap

[60:05]and see if I can get

[60:05]and see what she's been downloading

[60:06]this year.

[60:07]When he rhymes whack off

[60:09]with jack off.

[60:10]I mean, it's like,

[60:11]why didn't we just quit

[60:12]the podcast right there?

[60:13]Oh, we should have.

[60:14]That's one of the few songs

[60:16]where we got done

[60:17]and we're like,

[60:17]okay, let's play that again.

[60:18]It was three times

[60:19]in an episode, I remember.

[60:20]Oh, God, that was so funny.

[60:22]That was so funny

[60:23]because I forgot to end it

[60:24]with skunk ape oral.

[60:25]Probably one of the only songs

[60:28]that have that lyric in it,

[60:29]I got to say.

[60:29]All right.

[60:31]Are we done?

[60:32]Should we get into the album here?

[60:33]Oh, yeah, let's talk about music.

[60:35]All right.

[60:35]We got to move this thing along.

[60:37]Hey, Rob, Rob,

[60:38]I don't mean to make you nervous.

[60:39]I think we're on chart

[60:41]for a top five episode.

[60:42]Wow.

[60:45]I can't wait.

[60:46]We'll check next year's

[60:48]Spotify rap to see.

[60:49]Crazy, sexy, cool.

[60:51]Okay, this is TLC's second album.

[60:54]All right.

[60:55]And this album,

[60:56]they actually had some trouble

[60:57]recording it because

[60:58]for a majority of the album,

[60:59]Left Eye was basically,

[61:00]so we got, who do we got?

[61:01]We got T-Boz.

[61:02]We got Left Eye Lopez.

[61:05]And we got the other one.

[61:06]Who's the other one?

[61:07]Left Eye.

[61:08]Chili, she's Usher's baby mama, right?

[61:10]Chili, okay.

[61:11]Of course, is Raymond's baby mama.

[61:13]Okay, Raymond Usher.

[61:14]All right.

[61:15]You still...

[61:17]What?

[61:17]Is Raymond his last name?

[61:19]No, it's his middle name.

[61:21]His name's Usher Raymond, isn't it?

[61:23]Usher Raymond?

[61:25]Is it?

[61:26]What's his last name?

[61:27]I don't know.

[61:28]Oh.

[61:29]Well, that's not very helpful.

[61:31]Well, he goes by Usher.

[61:33]His first name is Usher,

[61:34]and then sometimes he also gets to say Raymond.

[61:35]Two of the coolest names.

[61:36]Yeah, I think so.

[61:37]Oh, my God.

[61:38]That's so cool.

[61:39]He is Usher Raymond IV.

[61:42]He's the fourth?

[61:43]No wonder he's pulling what he's pulling.

[61:47]He comes from a whole line of Usher.

[61:49]Hey, Usher Raymond, how you doing?

[61:51]Oh, my dad.

[61:52]Hey, my dad's Mr. Raymond.

[61:55]You can call me Usher.

[61:56]The fourth.

[61:57]Did he have kids with Chili,

[62:00]or was Chili the subject of confessions?

[62:02]I can't remember how that worked out.

[62:04]Wow.

[62:05]Matt, you work on some research.

[62:06]Well, Rob.

[62:07]Rob, can I ask?

[62:08]Your dad has the same name,

[62:10]and I've never heard you go by Junior

[62:12]or the second or anything.

[62:14]Did that ever pick up or not?

[62:16]We have different middle names.

[62:17]Oh.

[62:18]So we...

[62:19]That doesn't matter.

[62:19]I am not technically a junior.

[62:21]Yeah, and then like three years ago,

[62:22]somebody goes,

[62:22]it doesn't matter.

[62:23]You can just say you're a junior,

[62:24]and I was like, fuck.

[62:25]I could have been Rob Jr.

[62:27]I could have put a fun little thing

[62:28]instead of getting all my mail

[62:30]to Dr. Roberto Esquire in college like I did.

[62:33]Rob, you're going to have to bleep that out again, too.

[62:34]Damn it.

[62:35]No, he said Roberto.

[62:37]It's fine.

[62:38]Oh, yeah, that's true.

[62:39]Nobody will know.

[62:39]It's his alias.

[62:40]Who cares anymore?

[62:42]36 people listening on Spotify.

[62:44]Oh, hell no one's listening.

[62:46]So Left Eye, for a lot of this album,

[62:49]was actually in rehab.

[62:50]She was struggling with alcoholism,

[62:51]and of course,

[62:52]her famous relationship with Andre Rison,

[62:54]where she burned his house down

[62:56]trying to set his shoes on fire.

[62:57]There's a bad moon, Rison.

[62:58]Yeah, well, and now I got to say,

[63:00]not to bring the podcast down,

[63:01]but if you look to see

[63:02]what was happening in that relationship now,

[63:04]like if that happened now,

[63:05]she caught so much heat for that.

[63:07]First, it was like,

[63:08]oh, she's crazy.

[63:09]Then it turns out Andre Rison

[63:10]was a total piece of shit.

[63:11]Yeah, I don't think he was treating her well, right?

[63:13]Yeah.

[63:13]Can I read this about Usher and Chili quick?

[63:16]Please.

[63:17]Usher, Raymond.

[63:18]Raymond, Usher, we're not sure.

[63:21]In 2001, Usher began dating TLC member Chili Thomas,

[63:24]and the relationship lasted for three years.

[63:26]In 2003, Usher started working on the album

[63:30]that would become Confessions,

[63:31]so his album,

[63:32]which contained songs inspired by

[63:34]the personal lives of Usher,

[63:35]and his collaborators.

[63:36]The songs about infidelity and pregnant mistresses

[63:40]were not inspired by Usher's private life,

[63:42]but by Dupree's own personal challenges at the time.

[63:46]Dupree deliberately intended to create

[63:48]an air of mystery about Usher

[63:51]and arouse fans' curiosity

[63:53]about how much of the infidelity story

[63:55]was Usher's own confession.

[63:56]Whoa!

[63:57]The unintended results of this

[64:00]was to arouse Thomas' suspicion about Usher

[64:05]they broke up in December of 2004.

[64:07]Wow!

[64:08]So, that's on the internet,

[64:10]and they can't put anything on the internet,

[64:11]it's not true,

[64:12]but that's cited Wikipedia stuff.

[64:16]So, Jermaine Dupree was trying to get,

[64:19]or maybe he just took the blame for it?

[64:22]I don't know,

[64:23]but somehow all that stuff broke him up.

[64:25]I wouldn't feel for it, too.

[64:27]He's a producer on this album.

[64:29]Oh, yeah, he was producing everything at that time.

[64:31]Yeah, that's crazy that he was like,

[64:33]Hey, you know what?

[64:35]Or Babyface, it was him.

[64:36]I love Cheating on My Wife,

[64:38]but we should make an album

[64:39]where you talk about cheating on your wife.

[64:41]Like, it's so crazy.

[64:42]Everybody's just like,

[64:43]we should sing about cheating on our wife.

[64:44]It's going to be really fun.

[64:45]Can you imagine Confession comes out

[64:48]and you're married to Usher

[64:49]and it's a whole album about him cheating

[64:51]and then he's like,

[64:52]no, no, no, it's not me.

[64:53]It was the guy in charge of the recording cheating.

[64:56]You'd be like, well, that doesn't,

[64:57]that can't possibly be true.

[64:58]It'd be like if Russell was the one squatting ladies.

[65:00]I need to put those plates behind my heels.

[65:04]I'll just say that right now.

[65:05]You guys were talking about Jermaine Dupri.

[65:08]There's a ton of like famous producers,

[65:10]backup singers all over this album

[65:12]that I would have never known

[65:13]until I pulled up Rob's research website for this.

[65:17]Oh, absolutely.

[65:19]Wikipedia actually was full up on this album.

[65:22]We've got, listen to this, Babyface,

[65:24]Jermaine Dupri, Aaron's favorite, Diddy.

[65:27]Diddy's on that voicemail before the poop joke.

[65:28]Is that the sexy interlude?

[65:29]Is that the bathroom one?

[65:31]There's like a skit where Diddy's on the phone

[65:33]and then she's like,

[65:33]give me some tissues so I can wet my ass.

[65:35]The bathroom one is a bottom three song

[65:38]we've ever heard on any of the albums.

[65:40]It's almost disqualifying for the whole album.

[65:43]I agree.

[65:43]Listen, if you guys don't want me at my creep,

[65:47]you don't deserve me at my bathroom skit

[65:49]on the same album.

[65:50]That's true.

[65:51]That's hard.

[65:51]Yeah, that's a hard bargain.

[65:52]You gotta hand it to them.

[65:53]And basically, this is a super sexual romantic album

[65:57]compared to the first album, which was mostly rap.

[65:59]It peaks at number three

[66:01]and it's on the Billboard 200 for three years.

[66:03]I did not realize what a,

[66:05]I hate to say this,

[66:05]I use the word again,

[66:06]juggernaut this album is.

[66:07]This is the best selling album ever

[66:10]by any girl group, okay?

[66:12]All four singles get up to the top five

[66:15]with two of them getting up to number one.

[66:17]It gets nominated for six Grammys,

[66:19]loses record of the year to Kiss by a Rose.

[66:22]Okay, just to let you know what 1994 was like.

[66:25]Alanis Morissette, by the way,

[66:27]Jagged Little Pill also coming out this year.

[66:28]It's, and she wins.

[66:32]Oh, and then she also loses best pop performance

[66:34]by a duo or group of women

[66:35]with vocals to Let It Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish.

[66:38]Guys, what a year for music, okay?

[66:42]Matt's talked about 94 multiple, multiple times

[66:45]and every time it gets better and better.

[66:46]I was wondering when I was thinking about,

[66:48]when I saw 94, I was thinking about this.

[66:50]Are people that are like four years younger than us

[66:53]crazy about like 1998?

[66:55]Is 94 really that good?

[66:57]Or is it just that was the year for us as like you,

[67:00]your formative music years when you're 13, 14?

[67:03]I think 1994 was the year for us.

[67:05]I think 1994 was that good.

[67:06]I think it's-

[67:07]Okay, like Dookie by Green Day.

[67:09]That's their kickoff album, right?

[67:11]Weezer, the Blue Album.

[67:12]That's their seminal album.

[67:14]Ill Communication, Beastie Boys.

[67:17]Downward Spire, Nine Inch Nails.

[67:19]Grace by Jeff Buckley.

[67:20]Vitology.

[67:21]Wow.

[67:21]Illmatic by Nas.

[67:22]Wow.

[67:23]Ready to Die, the Notorious B.I.G.

[67:26]No Need to Argue by the Cranberries.

[67:28]Monster by R.E.M.

[67:29]Crazy, Sexy, Cool.

[67:30]We're doing that today.

[67:31]Southern Playalistic, Cadillac.

[67:34]Oof.

[67:34]Funky Music.

[67:35]Funky by Outkast.

[67:36]Smash by The Offspring.

[67:37]My Life by Mary J. Blige.

[67:40]I'm trying to skip over some of these

[67:42]and just go with the big ones.

[67:43]You know, but it's unbelievable.

[67:46]It's unbelievable year of music.

[67:48]Did I say Vitology by Pearl Jam?

[67:50]You did.

[67:50]Definitely, maybe.

[67:51]The one we did last week, Oasis.

[67:53]Super Unknown by Soundgarden.

[67:54]Wow.

[67:55]Look at this, though.

[67:56]1998, Titanic soundtrack.

[67:58]That's almost-

[67:59]That's like the first 10 weeks.

[68:01]And then It's Hot, It's Dark, and Hell is Hot

[68:03]by DMX pops up.

[68:04]So-

[68:05]Things were going crazy in 1998, for sure.

[68:07]Hello, Nasty by the Beastie Boys.

[68:09]That was awesome.

[68:10]Listen to this.

[68:11]To promote this album,

[68:14]listen to this concert,

[68:15]this tour they did.

[68:16]You could go see TLC

[68:18]with Boyz II Men,

[68:20]Montel Jordan,

[68:21]and Mary J. Blige.

[68:23]And they were joined at some shows

[68:25]with Blackstreet and Monica.

[68:27]I saw the Blackstreet one.

[68:28]That is a murderer's row of

[68:30]hip-hop and R&B acts from the 90s, right?

[68:33]Although Blackstreet would come out

[68:35]and be like,

[68:35]we're going to perform three songs.

[68:36]I'd be like, it's too, too many.

[68:38]I've seen them, I believe, at half-time of a Wolves game.

[68:41]Did they play-

[68:43]I think there's two.

[68:46]There's one beyond

[68:47]the main song everyone knows.

[68:49]There's two that I-

[68:50]What's the other Blackstreet song?

[68:51]I don't know. You've got to look it up.

[68:53]It's Don't Leave Me, Girl.

[68:56]It's got the same sample

[69:01]from the Tupac song.

[69:02]Wow.

[69:03]It's like I'm at the concert.

[69:05]Let's get into TLC.

[69:07]Rob, you would have known that

[69:08]if you were on the side text chain

[69:10]where Aaron and I talk about

[69:11]90s rap samples.

[69:12]Oh, okay.

[69:13]Yeah.

[69:14]Boy, I really want to get into that one.

[69:16]You can bet on which sample

[69:16]is really a sample.

[69:17]Hot as hell lately, Rob.

[69:20]We've been winning big bucks.

[69:22]On a streak.

[69:22]This is Introlude.

[69:24]So there's a bunch of skits,

[69:26]basically, in the middle of this album.

[69:28]This one's featuring Phife Dawg.

[69:30]Wow.

[69:31]But I'm going to skip the Interludes.

[69:33]We start right away.

[69:35]They're first,

[69:35]first single, Grammy Award.

[69:36]Best R&B performance.

[69:38]They win a Grammy for this song.

[69:40]Best performance by

[69:41]Silk Pajamas in a video.

[69:42]You said we're going to watch

[69:43]the video.

[69:43]Oh, my God.

[69:44]Yeah, let's watch the video.

[69:45]This video breakdown.

[69:47]The song, it's a video.

[69:49]You know what, Russell?

[69:50]Goddamn, Russell, you're right.

[69:51]It's been a while.

[69:52]It's been a minute.

[69:52]We're totally, we got to do.

[69:54]Get out our Alan Jackson

[69:56]cowboy hats and our floaties.

[69:59]Where is my video breakdown song?

[70:01]Maybe I don't have,

[70:02]that might be on my dad's computer.

[70:04]Oh, that's a good one.

[70:05]It's very strange.

[70:06]I don't have video breakdown.

[70:07]Oh, well, I'll just play this.

[70:08]We'll check what else you left on there.

[70:09]Your dad's computer's

[70:10]tucking Jenny in right now, so.

[70:11]Oh, my God.

[70:12]You can't do that.

[70:13]Don't say that.

[70:13]Oh, okay.

[70:16]Listen.

[70:16]Okay, let's do.

[70:17]That thing's got more viruses

[70:18]than 2020.

[70:19]Oh.

[70:19]DLC.

[70:20]Now, can I just say this?

[70:22]When I heard this horn start,

[70:24]I was at work.

[70:25]I had my headphones on

[70:26]and my penis moved a little bit.

[70:29]It was like a Pavlovian response.

[70:32]Just a little bit.

[70:34]Just a little bit.

[70:35]Just a little.

[70:36]Rob, what about a parody

[70:37]of me wearing silk pajamas

[70:39]that are only buttoned at the top

[70:40]with my stomach hanging out

[70:42]like they've got here?

[70:43]This, Russell,

[70:45]it would probably also make it move.

[70:47]Okay?

[70:47]That's how trained I am

[70:48]on this song and this video.

[70:50]Have you guys seen

[70:51]the deleted scene from Atlanta

[70:52]where Donald Glover is doing the,

[70:54]like, it's Donald Glover

[70:55]and Brian Tyree Henry

[70:56]and they're wearing silk PJs

[70:58]and doing the moves?

[70:59]It's great.

[70:59]I mean, this video is iconic.

[71:02]Okay?

[71:03]And it was,

[71:05]probably since we've been doing this list,

[71:07]it's a number one

[71:08]all-time jack-off video for me

[71:09]on this list so far

[71:10]because we haven't done

[71:11]any Aerosmith yet.

[71:12]But, I mean,

[71:12]but props, though,

[71:13]like, props to our imaginations,

[71:15]our 14-year-old imaginations.

[71:16]Like, for our listeners out there,

[71:19]these women are not scantily clad.

[71:20]They're wearing baggy pajamas.

[71:23]Silk pajamas.

[71:24]Or big baggy jeans

[71:26]and tank tops.

[71:27]They are unbuttoned.

[71:28]There's one button on the top.

[71:30]I mean, sure.

[71:30]There's some suggestion there.

[71:32]But, you know,

[71:32]this is not a raunchy video

[71:34]by any stretch.

[71:35]But, Aaron,

[71:36]this video

[71:38]is so embedded in my mind

[71:42]as, like,

[71:42]sex and hot

[71:44]and awesome.

[71:46]And then you listen

[71:46]to the rest of this album

[71:47]and you're like,

[71:48]oh,

[71:48]this whole album is, like,

[71:50]sex on a record.

[71:52]Freedom sex.

[71:53]Right.

[71:53]It's very much,

[71:54]it reminds me of a lot

[71:56]of the Boyz II Men videos

[71:58]from that, like,

[71:58]I'll Make Love to You

[71:59]and that type of thing, right?

[72:00]Remember all those

[72:01]Boyz II Men videos

[72:02]that had this same vibe?

[72:03]And it's, like,

[72:05]and it's probably,

[72:05]they both kind of have,

[72:06]Aaron, you'll know more,

[72:08]remember we did the list

[72:09]on New Jack Swing.

[72:10]There's got to be

[72:11]some elements

[72:11]of the New Jack Swing

[72:12]on this album here, right?

[72:14]I do think so, yeah,

[72:15]because this is when

[72:16]the bass got really turned up

[72:17]in R&B

[72:18]where you've got,

[72:19]you took classic R&B,

[72:20]you wed it with hip-hop.

[72:22]In this case,

[72:22]there's the trumpet going on,

[72:24]so it sounds like

[72:24]Roy Hargrove in a way.

[72:25]And that's probably

[72:27]before Roy Hargrove.

[72:28]And, yeah,

[72:29]it's definitely

[72:30]a New Jack Swing

[72:30]descendant.

[72:33]The next one,

[72:34]Kick Your Grip,

[72:35]Kick Your Game.

[72:35]This is with Jermaine Dupri.

[72:37]Now, this is,

[72:40]TLC is now teaching boys

[72:42]how to flirt in the club.

[72:43]Guys, if you had to flirt

[72:45]right now,

[72:46]what are you opening with?

[72:47]Aaron, what line

[72:48]are you opening with?

[72:49]Now, I did try to do a game

[72:50]where I tried to train AI

[72:52]to be a stripper at a club,

[72:53]and I was going to have Aaron

[72:54]say things to her

[72:55]to try to bring her home,

[72:56]but Chad GBT

[72:57]will not pretend

[72:58]like it's a stripper

[72:59]at the club,

[72:59]to my humiliation

[73:01]after I signed in

[73:02]with my Google account.

[73:02]Aaron, how are you flirting

[73:04]with somebody now?

[73:05]What are you saying?

[73:06]Well, if I'm flirting

[73:08]with anyone,

[73:08]it'd be my own wife.

[73:09]Aaron, of course.

[73:11]She's gone.

[73:11]Let's just,

[73:12]just for tonight.

[73:13]Let's just for tonight.

[73:14]Let's act like she's gone, Aaron.

[73:15]Drop the charade.

[73:16]Yeah.

[73:17]Let's just say she's out of town,

[73:18]out of work.

[73:18]What are you saying?

[73:19]Oh, God.

[73:19]Yo, that helps.

[73:20]Thanks.

[73:21]Yeah.

[73:21]She's in a different zip code.

[73:23]I guess I'm probably saying like,

[73:26]oh, have you read a,

[73:27]what are you reading these days?

[73:28]Oh, Jesus.

[73:29]Jesus Christ.

[73:31]What's your favorite book?

[73:32]Yeah, I don't know.

[73:33]Yeah, Aaron.

[73:36]Hey, have you,

[73:36]have you ever had

[73:37]sliced persimmons

[73:38]on your yogurt?

[73:39]I'm telling you,

[73:40]hey, listen, guys,

[73:41]I peeled the persimmons

[73:43]from our lady today.

[73:44]She sent me a text

[73:45]from the other room.

[73:45]She was like,

[73:46]ooh, those persimmons are good.

[73:47]You peel them,

[73:48]they're way better.

[73:48]Aaron, when you see your wife,

[73:50]you hug her

[73:51]and you don't ever let her go.

[73:52]You're so fucking lucky.

[73:54]I cannot believe

[73:55]how lucky you are

[73:56]to have somebody

[73:57]that cares about that.

[73:58]Every person I've talked

[73:59]about persimmons

[73:59]has made fun of you

[74:00]for five minutes at a time.

[74:02]My sister's neighbor

[74:03]came over and gave her persimmon.

[74:05]And it's all my sisters

[74:06]and I texted about

[74:06]for like two weeks.

[74:07]Okay?

[74:08]Was making fun of you

[74:10]through that exchange.

[74:11]It was crazy.

[74:12]Speaking of eating shots,

[74:13]man,

[74:13]those persimmons

[74:14]have really done it to me.

[74:15]By the way,

[74:16]when Aaron says to the girl,

[74:18]what are you reading?

[74:18]You know what they're

[74:19]going to say to him.

[74:20]What are you reading?

[74:20]Aaron, what book

[74:21]are you reading right now?

[74:22]This is Aaron's response.

[74:23]This is how he's going

[74:24]to keep flirting.

[74:24]I was reading

[74:25]the books of Jacob,

[74:26]but I set it aside

[74:27]to read

[74:27]The Underground Railroad

[74:29]by Colton Whitehead.

[74:31]Colson Whitehead.

[74:32]Sorry, Colson Whitehead.

[74:35]It's here under my microphone.

[74:36]Aaron, can you yell it

[74:37]like you're yelling over

[74:38]like music at the club?

[74:40]I was reading

[74:40]the books of Jacob

[74:41]about that 17th,

[74:42]18th century

[74:43]messianic figure in Poland.

[74:45]Okay, wait a minute,

[74:45]wait a minute, wait a minute,

[74:46]wait a minute.

[74:46]We're in the club.

[74:47]That one is the thousand pages.

[74:49]I had to cut it down.

[74:50]What?

[74:51]You were in that

[74:52]audio book?

[74:53]I was traveling

[74:54]and so I needed a book

[74:55]I could fit in my fanny pack

[74:56]and so I grabbed

[74:57]The Underground Railroad

[74:59]by Colson Whitehead,

[75:00]which is number six

[75:01]on the New York Times

[75:02]100 best books.

[75:02]What else you got

[75:03]in that fanny pack?

[75:05]Uh, actually,

[75:05]honestly, right now

[75:06]I have a sanitary napkin

[75:07]in there

[75:08]and then also some shoes.

[75:09]Oh my God.

[75:10]Okay, we can go

[75:12]to the bathroom.

[75:12]You can do stuff

[75:13]over my shirt,

[75:14]but that's it.

[75:14]Okay?

[75:16]That's it.

[75:17]I don't want to hear

[75:18]any more about Moby Dick.

[75:20]Yeah, please.

[75:21]I don't want to hear

[75:21]any more about

[75:22]the sanitary napkin

[75:23]in your fanny pack.

[75:23]Okay?

[75:25]Are you just

[75:27]spilling a lot, Aaron?

[75:28]Like, is that what

[75:28]you have with that?

[75:29]You never know

[75:30]when you might need

[75:31]I had a little

[75:32]microfiber cloth in there.

[75:33]I got really pissed off

[75:34]the other day

[75:34]because I was in the car

[75:35]and I was like,

[75:35]I was trying to hand

[75:35]Wallace a banana

[75:36]and I did that

[75:37]and then I was like,

[75:38]I hate peeling bananas

[75:39]in the car.

[75:39]It's my least favorite snack

[75:41]and I reached back

[75:42]into my fanny pack

[75:42]to get my microfiber cloth

[75:44]and it was gone

[75:44]because I think I threw it

[75:45]in the wash or something.

[75:46]Oh, and then Wallace

[75:48]opens the windows

[75:49]and throws a banana peel out

[75:50]and you look back

[75:50]and there's just chaos

[75:51]and cars skidding around.

[75:53]Exactly.

[75:53]All right.

[75:55]Matt's got something to say.

[75:56]Oh, sorry.

[75:57]This is for Joe

[75:59]from Woodbury.

[76:00]In 1994,

[76:01]Blackhawk by Blackhawk

[76:02]came out.

[76:03]Oh, there we go.

[76:04]Which has Goodbye

[76:05]Says It All

[76:05]as the number one

[76:06]of their first songs.

[76:07]Goodbye Says It All.

[76:07]So 1994 even had

[76:09]some great country music.

[76:11]Oh, I digress.

[76:12]Bring people together.

[76:12]Thanks, Matt.

[76:13]A great year on NHL

[76:15]for Sega Genesis,

[76:16]by the way.

[76:16]Digging on you.

[76:17]Is it Geyserman?

[76:18]I kind of do.

[76:19]I think NHL P93

[76:21]is the real game.

[76:23]I think if you're a 94 guy,

[76:24]you can go fuck yourself.

[76:26]You don't know shit

[76:27]about video games.

[76:28]I'm judging you

[76:29]in your video games

[76:30]if that's what you play.

[76:31]I actually loved NHL 95.

[76:33]Jeremy Roenick

[76:34]and Ed Belfort.

[76:35]I was dominating

[76:36]with those Blackhawks.

[76:36]This is their fourth single,

[76:38]by the way.

[76:38]This is looking like

[76:40]the second sexiest song

[76:42]on the album, I think.

[76:43]It's crazy.

[76:44]There's all these songs.

[76:45]I was like,

[76:46]I have to go try

[76:47]to have sex to this album.

[76:48]Okay, but then,

[76:50]you know,

[76:50]what's going to pop up

[76:51]is these intermissions,

[76:52]these interludes.

[76:53]It's like that flute album

[76:55]where he got all loud

[76:56]at the end.

[76:57]Case of the fake people.

[77:00]Do you guys ever remember

[77:02]listening to this?

[77:03]Like, I know that

[77:04]the green,

[77:05]like, two, three

[77:05]commercial hits.

[77:06]Have you guys ever listened

[77:08]to the whole album before

[77:09]or not?

[77:09]No.

[77:10]No.

[77:10]It kind of does have

[77:13]an iconic,

[77:15]the album cover

[77:16]is pretty iconic, right?

[77:17]Like, the red,

[77:18]kind of the faded out faces.

[77:20]Their eyes.

[77:21]I don't know how to describe it,

[77:21]but the album cover

[77:22]is pretty.

[77:23]And everyone knows

[77:24]the name of the album.

[77:25]Everyone knows that the album,

[77:26]oh, what's the TLC album?

[77:28]Oh, it's Crazy Sexy Cool,

[77:29]but I had never actually

[77:30]listened to it.

[77:30]Top to bottom.

[77:31]Crazy Sexy Cool interlude,

[77:35]with T-Boz.

[77:35]I'm skipping all the interludes.

[77:37]Do we need to listen to them?

[77:38]One of the interludes,

[77:39]some of the interludes

[77:40]were pretty in your face.

[77:41]They were very,

[77:41]I don't know if vulgar

[77:43]is the right word,

[77:43]but I guarantee

[77:45]if Aaron Sun's in the room,

[77:46]he's got to turn down

[77:47]his Sonos speaker.

[77:48]Well, I mean,

[77:48]it's close between

[77:49]this week and next week,

[77:50]which has the lowest moments

[77:51]of interludes.

[77:52]Oof.

[77:53]Oof.

[77:53]Yeah, this is a,

[77:55]this is a headphone,

[77:56]this is a headphone week for you.

[77:57]Red Light Special.

[77:59]Now, I want to play

[78:00]the video to this one, too,

[78:01]because I had forgotten

[78:02]this video,

[78:03]and then when I saw it,

[78:05]I had some thoughts, okay?

[78:07]If the computer wasn't out

[78:09]in the public space here,

[78:10]I mean, look at this.

[78:11]This is the one

[78:13]where they're playing cards,

[78:15]and they're, like, in charge,

[78:17]and then all the men

[78:18]are, like, hanging on them

[78:20]and stuff.

[78:20]Guys.

[78:22]It is a crazy, sexy video.

[78:26]Would you be a good

[78:27]sexy band servant, Rob?

[78:29]I think I would be.

[78:31]I think you would be, too.

[78:32]You know what I mean?

[78:33]Because it's, like,

[78:34]so much of this song

[78:36]is, like, talking about,

[78:39]I mean, really what it is

[78:41]is it's talking about

[78:42]oral sex.

[78:43]Like, getting oral sex

[78:45]from a guy.

[78:46]And it made me think,

[78:47]how do you initiate oral sex?

[78:50]What do you guys do

[78:51]when you want to

[78:52]give some oral sex?

[78:53]No, no.

[78:54]Because I think,

[78:54]I think, come on.

[78:55]No, no, no, no, Rob, Rob, Rob,

[78:58]no, I'm warning you.

[78:59]This is going to be a no-go.

[79:00]I'll just announce it.

[79:02]I'll be like, hey,

[79:02]I'm going to do some oral sex.

[79:04]I'm going to do some oral sex.

[79:04]I'm going to do some oral sex.

[79:04]I'm going to do some oral sex.

[79:04]And they're like, okay.

[79:05]But I think there's got to be

[79:06]a better way.

[79:07]Yeah, who's they?

[79:08]Whoever is in the room.

[79:10]Who's ever listened to me?

[79:12]I don't know.

[79:14]I feel like you've got

[79:15]to announce it.

[79:16]You can't just be like,

[79:17]whoa, whoa.

[79:18]Going on a trip.

[79:20]The gentlemen in this video

[79:21]are wearing some hot pants.

[79:23]Yeah, I know.

[79:24]Did you guys know in 1994,

[79:25]did you guys know in 1994,

[79:27]Mellow Gold by Beck came out

[79:29]with a title track?

[79:31]Who would have known that?

[79:32]First song,

[79:33]Loser.

[79:34]Wow.

[79:34]That's crazy.

[79:36]1994.

[79:36]That's why we love music so much.

[79:39]Next up, Waterfalls.

[79:40]You're saying, Matt,

[79:41]who put out records

[79:44]the same time as TLC

[79:45]that crushed it in 1994?

[79:47]Who did it better?

[79:48]Beck.

[79:50]Oh, there you go.

[79:51]I would say Beck did it better.

[79:54]That's cool.

[79:55]Wow.

[79:56]He's bringing it with that.

[79:58]Matt, I'll Venmo you for that one.

[80:00]Thank you.

[80:01]Next up, Waterfalls.

[80:04]This is the third single

[80:05]on the album.

[80:07]It's the first

[80:08]number one song ever

[80:10]to refer to HIV AIDS

[80:12]in one of its verses.

[80:13]That's crazy.

[80:14]1994?

[80:15]That's insane.

[80:17]This song is just

[80:18]an absolute killer.

[80:19]This is a slayer.

[80:20]This is probably a top five song

[80:23]of our generation, right?

[80:24]Like, if this song is played

[80:25]at a get-together,

[80:26]everyone's on the dance floor, right?

[80:27]Yep.

[80:28]You have to.

[80:29]College vibe album, Aaron, or not?

[80:30]I think so.

[80:31]I think if you take out the...

[80:34]The interludes.

[80:34]If you could take this album

[80:35]and snip out the interludes,

[80:37]it's perfect.

[80:38]It's a Winamp classic.

[80:39]But I will also say,

[80:40]it was interesting to me, Rob,

[80:42]you talked about how much

[80:44]their first album was more rap-inflected

[80:46]and this one is not.

[80:47]I completely forgot that Left Eye

[80:49]has a verse on this song

[80:50]because it gets edited out of the radio

[80:52]and probably even MTV.

[80:53]I was listening today,

[80:55]and I was like,

[80:55]man, I don't even know this verse.

[80:56]And I think it's a fire verse.

[80:58]It is.

[80:58]I think she's really going.

[80:59]She's really good.

[81:00]You might have to cut this out.

[81:01]What's the...

[81:02]You might not know.

[81:03]What's the, like,

[81:04]the bubbly hip...

[81:05]What's that sound?

[81:05]It's not like a wah-wah.

[81:07]What's that...

[81:08]Like, play that just a little bit more.

[81:09]Oh, yeah, I don't know.

[81:10]You want the very beginning?

[81:11]I know exactly what you're talking about.

[81:13]Who's the producer on this?

[81:14]Is it Jermaine Dupri?

[81:15]Oh, Jesus.

[81:17]Yeah, right there.

[81:19]And then the guitar.

[81:21]It's, like, bubbly.

[81:24]I hear bubbles,

[81:25]but I don't know how to describe it.

[81:27]I think it's a guitar

[81:28]with, like, a flanger over it

[81:29]to make it sound like it's underwater.

[81:30]There is some really nice, yeah,

[81:32]like, rhythm guitar,

[81:33]sound all over this album.

[81:35]And I don't know if it's a...

[81:35]if they brought in musicians

[81:36]or if it's samples or what,

[81:37]but it's some very cool, like,

[81:39]carryover from 80s funk kind of stuff.

[81:42]Awesome.

[81:43]Let's do it again.

[81:45]In this one,

[81:46]TLC talks about

[81:47]how much their man satisfies them,

[81:49]and they'd like to do it again.

[81:51]You ever hear that, Rob?

[81:53]That phrase?

[81:53]I don't think my wife

[81:54]would ever tell anybody

[81:55]that I've satisfied her in any way.

[81:57]I think I've just come to accept, guys.

[82:00]I think I just have to look it in the eye

[82:02]and just say,

[82:03]I'm bad at sex.

[82:04]Oh, no.

[82:05]And I'm not afraid to say it right now,

[82:07]but I just think I'm bad.

[82:08]I think I've thought to myself,

[82:09]oh, I just gotta get my abs in shape.

[82:11]I gotta do this.

[82:12]I gotta do that.

[82:13]I think I just don't get it.

[82:15]One of the last time

[82:16]I satisfied the upstairs roommate?

[82:17]Yes.

[82:18]Aaron, you'll like this.

[82:20]I made white chicken chili

[82:22]the other day.

[82:23]Oh, yes.

[82:24]White chicken chili

[82:25]and the upstairs roommate

[82:26]was satisfied.

[82:27]Held it.

[82:28]Oh, way to go, Russell.

[82:30]That perked up

[82:31]and did inappropriate.

[82:31]Yeah, that's satisfying.

[82:33]I was going to say,

[82:34]Jenny was on

[82:35]before the podcast

[82:36]a couple of weeks ago

[82:37]or whatever

[82:38]and did say,

[82:38]Rob is a lot.

[82:40]You could cut that.

[82:42]Rob, it might be that

[82:43]you're good at sex

[82:44]but bad at the announcing part.

[82:45]It might be all the announcing

[82:46]that you're doing

[82:47]that's a problem.

[82:47]Right.

[82:48]I've cut that out

[82:49]where I announced oral sex.

[82:50]Maybe cut that whole bit out.

[82:52]I think there's still

[82:54]some more meat on that bone.

[82:55]I think we can go back to that.

[82:56]I think there's some funny stuff

[82:57]we could do.

[82:57]If I was your girlfriend,

[82:58]it's a cover of a Prince song.

[82:59]Do you do it like in a Mike Green voice?

[83:00]Like, bang!

[83:01]Or like, how do you announce it?

[83:03]Yeah.

[83:04]Oh, of course,

[83:05]a Marv Albert voice.

[83:06]I'm going way downtown.

[83:08]Yes!

[83:09]Bang!

[83:09]I'll be down here

[83:12]for five minutes

[83:13]until you tell me to stop.

[83:14]Bang!

[83:14]Was Prince okay with this?

[83:16]Or did he work with him at all?

[83:17]He didn't have a relationship

[83:18]with Aaron.

[83:18]I was Googling that earlier.

[83:20]Prince had like a rapport

[83:21]with them or something.

[83:22]That's cool.

[83:22]I think he was going to do

[83:23]something with them

[83:24]and then something prevented it.

[83:25]But he did have some sort

[83:26]of rapport with them.

[83:27]That's very cool.

[83:28]Then another interlude

[83:31]and then take our time.

[83:33]Take our time.

[83:34]Guys, I was reading on this one

[83:37]that TLC was the first

[83:39]all-female group

[83:40]to sell 10 million records.

[83:42]So at the time,

[83:44]it was the biggest selling album

[83:45]ever by a female group.

[83:47]And I thought we could honor

[83:48]some of the other female groups

[83:49]that are amazing

[83:50]by doing a list

[83:52]of the top five female groups ever

[83:54]in terms of biggest album sales

[83:56]for one album.

[83:56]Oh, yeah.

[83:57]Wow.

[83:57]That's crazy.

[83:58]Russell, can I just say

[84:00]the joke I had for

[84:01]Take Our Time?

[84:01]Please.

[84:03]Is there anything

[84:04]that you said to girls more

[84:06]when you dated them

[84:07]in high school of like,

[84:08]listen, I just want

[84:09]to take it slow.

[84:10]And you just knew

[84:12]that was a lie.

[84:13]You just knew

[84:14]that that wasn't true.

[84:16]I didn't want to take it slow

[84:17]at all.

[84:18]This has never happened before.

[84:21]What's that?

[84:22]Never mind.

[84:24]Sorry.

[84:24]No, I just want to take it slow.

[84:29]OK, you can sit on my face

[84:32]if you want to.

[84:32]Like, just write it down.

[84:33]Right to 12.

[84:35]Right off the bat.

[84:37]OK, I'll have sex

[84:39]in your dad's van.

[84:40]OK.

[84:40]That is this episode

[84:43]while they're driving down the road.

[84:44]Hey, can you take it slow?

[84:46]Don't get there too fast.

[84:47]Mind the speed bumps, sir.

[84:50]Yeah, no, go back over those speed bumps.

[84:52]Yeah.

[84:53]Turn around.

[84:55]All right, on this list.

[84:56]Now I got to keep the van sex part in.

[84:57]We're going to go from one to five.

[84:59]So we're going to go with the one

[85:00]that actually topped TLC.

[85:01]Right now, TLC is still number two.

[85:03]Number two of all time.

[85:04]They have, I believe,

[85:06]I don't know how many.

[85:08]It's like 13 million albums sold.

[85:09]So this album we're listening to now

[85:11]is still number two all time

[85:13]by a female group.

[85:14]Number one is the album Spice

[85:17]from 1996.

[85:19]It's the Spice of the West.

[85:20]23 million albums sold.

[85:24]For the most double.

[85:25]23 million?

[85:25]Double from the number two album.

[85:28]That's crazy amazing, isn't it?

[85:30]Wow.

[85:31]I feel like this reaches

[85:33]across like all genres.

[85:34]It plays on every single radio station.

[85:37]I mean, how many times

[85:38]did you hear this growing up?

[85:39]9,000, a billion.

[85:42]This is up there with Santana Smooth.

[85:44]That's in that kind of category for me.

[85:46]Look at that.

[85:47]The banger, though.

[85:48]Let's get some beer handed to him.

[85:51]Wow.

[85:51]That's 96.

[85:53]What a guy.

[85:53]1999.

[85:54]That's the guy who's good at sex

[85:56]right there.

[85:57]She's bringing him drinks.

[85:58]That guy is good at sex.

[86:00]Congratulations, Aaron.

[86:01]Next up on the list is from

[86:02]1999.

[86:03]The female group is

[86:05]Destiny's Child.

[86:05]This is Say My Name.

[86:06]The album is writing on the wall.

[86:08]Writing's on the wall.

[86:10]I think this is about

[86:15]9 million, so this did not pass

[86:17]Crazy Sexy Cool, but still

[86:18]very high.

[86:19]Don't you think they'll

[86:23]be on the list at all, Matt?

[86:24]Or is it just Beyonce

[86:25]the solo album?

[86:26]I don't know.

[86:27]They have to be.

[86:29]Don't you think there's a test

[86:30]you could do to see if you're

[86:31]good at sex, though?

[86:32]You know what I mean?

[86:33]Like when you go to a trainer

[86:34]and they're like, you know,

[86:35]we're going to see how far

[86:36]you can bend and let's see

[86:37]how far you can do at lunch

[86:38]and let's, you know,

[86:38]they're kind of doing

[86:39]an evaluation.

[86:39]I feel like there should be

[86:41]an office somewhere

[86:42]where you go in and like

[86:43]they strap you to a machine

[86:45]and you kind of like wiggle

[86:46]around or whatever you do

[86:47]during sex.

[86:48]And then they would say,

[86:49]okay, you're getting like a,

[86:50]you know, you're in 75

[86:51]out of 100.

[86:52]Here's what you could do better.

[86:53]I think that's a great

[86:54]business idea.

[86:55]You know what?

[86:55]I'm cutting this out.

[86:56]This is going to be

[86:57]our business idea.

[86:57]A sex evaluator.

[87:00]It's like a sleep study,

[87:01]but it's a sex, guys,

[87:01]a sex study.

[87:02]A sex.

[87:04]You know, that's,

[87:04]there's a lot of people, Rob.

[87:07]There's a lot of people

[87:08]all over the world

[87:10]that have tried this

[87:11]and they're all either

[87:13]dead or in jail right now.

[87:14]I'm trying exactly

[87:15]what you're doing right now.

[87:16]But see, at this point.

[87:17]Oh, yeah.

[87:18]Why don't you come in

[87:18]and let's see how good

[87:19]you are at the sex.

[87:20]And if you're really good,

[87:22]I'll give you a different

[87:22]colored scarf.

[87:23]I mean, this guy,

[87:24]this is all making sense to me.

[87:26]$2.90.

[87:27]Russell, just to bring

[87:28]this back on, $2.91.

[87:30]So they're coming up

[87:30]in about a year and a half.

[87:31]About a year and a half.

[87:33]Yeah.

[87:33]Maybe two years.

[87:34]Two years.

[87:35]We're not out of the $300 yet.

[87:36]That's crazy.

[87:37]Next up on the list

[87:38]is the Pussycat Dolls.

[87:39]This is PCD.

[87:41]The song is Don't Cha.

[87:42]Wait, how many albums

[87:44]did they sell?

[87:45]This is 9 million.

[87:47]9 million?

[87:48]They only had one album, right?

[87:49]Well, this is fourth

[87:50]out of female groups ever.

[87:51]But no,

[87:52]there's a few repeats

[87:53]with TLC and Spice Girls,

[87:55]but eliminated repeats.

[87:57]This is number four.

[87:57]Wow.

[87:59]Wow.

[88:00]Do you guys ever get

[88:02]into this group

[88:03]and listen to these songs

[88:04]or not?

[88:04]No, I listen to it,

[88:07]but I never like

[88:08]sought out the album or anything.

[88:09]I like their early stuff.

[88:10]So far,

[88:11]so far,

[88:12]there's a huge team here, right?

[88:13]Like,

[88:14]super hot,

[88:15]extremely good dancing,

[88:17]extremely good musicality.

[88:18]Oh, man,

[88:19]it's about to get real

[88:19]on this next one, man.

[88:21]8 million albums sold.

[88:22]Is it a person

[88:24]or is it a group?

[88:25]It's Wilson Phillips.

[88:27]Hold on.

[88:28]Wow.

[88:28]Oh, man.

[88:30]8 million.

[88:30]It's so easy.

[88:32]Goodbye.

[88:32]Until next week.

[88:34]To that day.

[88:35]I'm gonna let him

[88:36]hold you down

[88:37]and make you say goodbye.

[88:38]Did you know?

[88:39]Did you know?

[88:40]Did you change?

[88:40]Change.

[88:41]You think?

[88:42]Go your way.

[88:43]What cigarettes do you think

[88:44]Wilson Phillips?

[88:45]Oh, no.

[88:45]One more day.

[88:46]Rob, Matt's cooking.

[88:47]Don't.

[88:48]Right.

[88:49]Rob interrupted.

[88:50]It's gone.

[88:51]Okay, I'll see

[88:54]what I said again

[88:54]because it was worth it.

[88:55]Bring it on.

[88:55]What cigarettes do you...

[88:57]Hold out for one more day.

[88:58]Whoa.

[89:00]Whoa.

[89:00]Yes.

[89:00]That was so good.

[89:02]I'm gonna take down the music

[89:03]and emphasize Matt's voice

[89:04]during that part.

[89:05]What kind of cigarettes

[89:08]do you think they smoked?

[89:08]Wilson's?

[89:11]Wilson's?

[89:11]Oh.

[89:11]Isn't there Phillips too?

[89:13]Yeah.

[89:14]Is there two guys?

[89:16]Wait a minute.

[89:16]You know who doesn't

[89:19]get enough credit ever?

[89:20]Who's that?

[89:20]Phillips.

[89:21]Phillips.

[89:21]Listen,

[89:23]it's my favorite screwdriver.

[89:24]It's number two

[89:25]after Starbit.

[89:26]Starbit,

[89:27]number one favorite screwdriver.

[89:29]I love to screw in

[89:29]a nice Starbit screw.

[89:30]Number two,

[89:31]gonna go with the Phillips.

[89:33]Number last place,

[89:35]the Flathead.

[89:36]The Flathead screw

[89:37]is the worst one to screw in.

[89:39]When I see an Ikea thing

[89:40]coming in,

[89:41]it's all Flathead screws.

[89:42]Get me out of there.

[89:43]Do not want to.

[89:43]So boring.

[89:43]Why do they even make those anymore?

[89:45]It's the worst.

[89:46]Rob, favorite generic

[89:47]brand of schnapps.

[89:48]Let's hear it for...

[89:49]Phillips.

[89:51]Yeah.

[89:52]Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[89:53]Phillips.

[89:53]One of the drinks

[89:55]I can't drink anymore.

[89:56]Rip your schnapps.

[89:56]Rob, Rob,

[89:59]favorite volleyball

[90:00]to be stuck

[90:01]on an island with?

[90:01]Probably Wilson.

[90:03]Wilson!

[90:04]All right,

[90:06]last group on the list.

[90:07]Rob, let's talk more

[90:08]about what you got caught

[90:09]doing in the 1990s.

[90:11]Hey, Matt, Matt,

[90:12]what do I do with my car

[90:14]in a gas station?

[90:14]Fill her up?

[90:17]Fill her up.

[90:18]Russell, say that again

[90:22]so I edit that last part out.

[90:23]Do your intro again.

[90:25]Let's go back

[90:26]to the mid-90s

[90:27]and what you were doing

[90:27]in the basement couch.

[90:29]It's Salt-N-Pepa.

[90:30]The album is very necessary.

[90:31]Seven billion albums.

[90:32]It's shoot.

[90:33]Wow.

[90:34]Here I go.

[90:34]I didn't know

[90:35]it was going to be that.

[90:36]Okay, then.

[90:38]Guys, they had on a...

[90:40]They had on a bodysuit

[90:42]in this video

[90:42]that blew my mind

[90:44]when I was growing up.

[90:45]This and the Moulin Rouge video.

[90:49]Forget about it.

[90:49]If you could have this,

[90:50]you could pick this song

[90:52]free for waterfalls.

[90:53]You only get one

[90:54]on a desert island for life.

[90:55]What are you taking with you?

[90:56]Oh.

[90:59]I think I got to go.

[91:00]That's a tough decision.

[91:00]This is this one

[91:01]because waterfalls

[91:02]is kind of depressing.

[91:03]Creep, I would just get

[91:05]too thirsty on the island

[91:06]if you know what I mean.

[91:07]I think this is a fun one.

[91:08]It's just like shoot.

[91:09]Yeah, you can memorize

[91:11]the lyrics.

[91:11]I mean, when you can sing

[91:12]along with this,

[91:12]the voodoo that you do,

[91:14]it's fun.

[91:14]Rob, I want to ask you

[91:16]to just go to the very beginning.

[91:18]Is this the greatest beginning

[91:20]to a song ever?

[91:20]Listen to the beginning.

[91:21]Hey, yeah.

[91:22]I want to shoot, baby.

[91:25]That.

[91:26]That's really good.

[91:27]I mean...

[91:28]How about this?

[91:29]Wait, that is awesome.

[91:30]That's really, really good.

[91:32]That's you.

[91:33]Russell?

[91:34]That was a top five list.

[91:36]That was a top five list.

[91:37]Were all of those

[91:38]from the 90s?

[91:39]It was another.

[91:40]What?

[91:40]All of those from the 90s.

[91:42]Well, what is Wilson Phillips?

[91:43]Let's hold on.

[91:44]I think it's 90s.

[91:46]Every single...

[91:49]1992.

[91:49]So every single

[91:52]best-selling girl group

[91:53]is from the 90s?

[91:54]We should watch that video.

[91:56]Hold on.

[91:56]Hold on.

[91:57]Watch that video.

[91:59]On a beach?

[91:59]Are you requesting

[92:00]a video breakdown?

[92:01]Video breakdown.

[92:03]Play the bit.

[92:04]Play the sting.

[92:05]Play the sting.

[92:05]Come on.

[92:06]Well, this looks like

[92:08]a Northern California beach.

[92:09]In fact, that looks like

[92:09]the Desolation Wilderness.

[92:10]Oh, there's on top of them.

[92:12]I would never sit on a mountain.

[92:13]I don't care how hot she was.

[92:14]I would never sit on

[92:15]like a cliff of a mountain.

[92:17]This video has more women

[92:19]on beaches

[92:20]in collared shirts and vests

[92:21]than any other video

[92:22]and recorded history.

[92:23]Dude, that's the

[92:24]Northern California beach scene, man.

[92:25]It's cold on the beach up here.

[92:26]Yeah, look at those

[92:27]shoulder pads.

[92:28]They're wearing a suit jacket.

[92:29]I mean, I would wear

[92:30]a suit jacket on the beach

[92:31]if I was on Goat Head Beach.

[92:32]That looks like, well...

[92:34]Aaron, if you wore

[92:36]a suit jacket to the beach,

[92:37]I'd walk away from you.

[92:38]I would not walk

[92:39]to the beach.

[92:40]A suit jacket on the beach

[92:43]is just wrong.

[92:44]This is a killer song.

[92:46]This is so good.

[92:48]The video is entrancing, too.

[92:49]It's just their faces.

[92:50]And it makes me think, guys,

[92:52]what if I was a before and after

[92:55]thing for the sex clinic

[92:57]that I'm talking about?

[92:57]You know what I mean?

[92:58]I could be you

[92:59]the before and be like,

[93:00]this is how I have sex.

[93:01]And I'd be like,

[93:02]oh, ouch, ouch.

[93:03]You know what I mean

[93:04]when you always say ouch?

[93:04]And then Aaron could be the after.

[93:07]Like, that's what you learn

[93:08]at the clinic.

[93:08]And you always say ouch.

[93:09]It would show like the doctor's

[93:12]like moving Aaron's butt

[93:13]and be like this.

[93:14]And Aaron's like,

[93:14]Aaron's going like this.

[93:15]Oh, no.

[93:16]I think I was thinking

[93:18]of Goat Rock Beach.

[93:19]I can look that one up

[93:20]in Sonoma.

[93:20]All right.

[93:22]Okay, you guys, hey,

[93:23]you guys don't want to invest

[93:24]in the sex clinic?

[93:25]That's fine.

[93:26]You hate making money?

[93:27]That's fine with me.

[93:28]You're missing out.

[93:29]I'd be the guy

[93:30]that aced the Scantron

[93:31]but failed the over-the-road test.

[93:33]All right, Poindexter.

[93:36]Let's get in this

[93:37]and try it out.

[93:38]Oh, my God.

[93:40]Aced the Scantron?

[93:42]Can you imagine?

[93:43]Oh, that's good.

[93:44]Russell's looking

[93:44]and it's like,

[93:45]there's like a penis

[93:46]and Russell's like,

[93:47]okay, okay.

[93:48]Where's that going to go?

[93:49]And then he gets in the car.

[93:50]He's getting tested.

[93:52]He gets in the van.

[93:53]My dad's driving the van.

[93:55]Russell's in the sex part

[93:56]in the back.

[93:56]He's like, oh, man,

[93:57]I'm going to fail this totally.

[93:59]I just go ball

[94:00]in the back of the van.

[94:01]I failed.

[94:04]Russell,

[94:05]are you intentionally

[94:06]failing your sex license

[94:07]so you can just go back

[94:08]and have more sex

[94:09]during the test?

[94:09]I haven't thought about it like that.

[94:12]I didn't know.

[94:12]What?

[94:13]Guys,

[94:16]March of 1994.

[94:17]Tim McGraw.

[94:18]Not a moment too soon.

[94:19]With the hits like

[94:21]Indian Outlaw.

[94:23]Not a moment too soon.

[94:25]And Don't Take the Girl.

[94:26]Just classic country.

[94:28]I forget.

[94:28]Is he really?

[94:29]Is he related to

[94:29]Tug McGraw?

[94:31]Yeah.

[94:32]Tug's his dad.

[94:32]Kind of call back

[94:33]to our Tuck joke,

[94:34]but I couldn't quite get it.

[94:35]Oh.

[94:36]Reminds me of that movie

[94:39]Silence of the Lambs.

[94:40]Wasn't that the giant

[94:41]lineman that blew off

[94:43]his fingers with the

[94:44]July 4th fireworks?

[94:45]Oh.

[94:46]Tuck, you mean Yura?

[94:47]No.

[94:49]Who is that?

[94:49]That's Jason Tuck.

[94:50]That's a rule that Tom Brady

[94:50]doesn't even tell.

[94:51]Justin Tuck.

[94:53]I messed up my

[94:54]giant steel lineman.

[94:55]I apologize.

[94:55]Neil and Joe.

[94:57]Neil and Joe, I'm sorry.

[94:58]I'm sorry.

[94:59]I'm sorry.

[94:59]I'm sorry.

[95:00]Wasn't his name

[95:00]Jason St. Paul Pierre?

[95:01]Isn't that the one who

[95:02]actually blew off his fingers?

[95:03]Well, that was a French guy.

[95:05]That was a French version.

[95:06]I think you're thinking

[95:07]of Kabir Gbajam

[95:08]and Emilia.

[95:09]Can I get a...

[95:11]No.

[95:11]Can I get Witnesses

[95:12]and Interlude Switch?

[95:13]So sexy.

[95:18]And then finally,

[95:19]Something Wicked

[95:19]This Way Comes

[95:20]with Andre 3000.

[95:22]Look at this.

[95:22]This immediately sounds

[95:23]like an outcast song, right?

[95:24]You're like, oh, cool.

[95:25]We're in the dungeon.

[95:25]When you look at

[95:27]the way it's written...

[95:28]They're all in Atlanta.

[95:28]I mean, all of them are

[95:30]off of Atlanta.

[95:31]Is everything he's listed at

[95:33]is it always

[95:33]gray from outcasts?

[95:34]Because that's the way

[95:35]it's listed on

[95:35]when you read the list.

[95:37]Really?

[95:38]Yeah.

[95:39]I don't know.

[95:40]I also...

[95:41]I tried to do some

[95:41]sample sleuthing

[95:43]in this song

[95:43]because I thought

[95:43]it was the same sample

[95:44]as the Rappin' Forte

[95:47]song, Play His Club,

[95:48]but I can't figure out

[95:50]what the sample is.

[95:50]The internet does not

[95:52]tell me what the sample

[95:52]is on that one.

[95:53]That's like a bad

[95:55]ice cream shop.

[95:56]Yeah, you can't

[95:57]get a sample.

[95:58]No.

[95:59]Yeah, you said it

[96:00]better than me.

[96:00]I was working with you.

[96:02]I'm here with you.

[96:03]We're on a show together

[96:05]doing bits.

[96:06]I'm anti-ice cream samples.

[96:09]Never have gotten

[96:10]a sample.

[96:10]I always just pick it.

[96:11]You don't know

[96:12]until you finish

[96:12]the whole thing, right?

[96:13]What does the sample

[96:14]tell you?

[96:14]I just get the whole thing.

[96:15]Yep, I'm with you, Russell.

[96:16]My greatest weakness

[96:18]is if I go

[96:19]into an ice cream shop

[96:20]and there's a

[96:20]question mark flavor,

[96:21]I'm getting it every time.

[96:22]Oh, no way.

[96:23]I cannot resist

[96:25]the allure

[96:26]of the question mark flavor.

[96:27]I'm the guy who bought

[96:28]the jelly beans

[96:28]that were

[96:28]half of them

[96:29]tasted bad.

[96:30]God, I bought

[96:31]a lot of those.

[96:31]I thought that was so fun.

[96:32]I think tasting

[96:33]Bean boozled?

[96:34]Yes.

[96:35]That's terrible.

[96:35]I love bean boozled.

[96:37]That was coming

[96:37]in a couple times.

[96:38]Oh, it's so gross

[96:39]because the one

[96:40]they're like,

[96:40]this tastes like barf

[96:41]and you're like,

[96:41]yep, it does.

[96:42]It's so acidic.

[96:43]Oh, it tastes like worms,

[96:44]yeah.

[96:44]What the fuck, Aaron?

[96:47]I don't know

[96:47]what worms taste like.

[96:48]Listen, we are not

[96:49]talking about

[96:50]Crazy Next to Cool,

[96:50]the album.

[96:51]We are talking

[96:51]about the list

[96:52]and where does

[96:53]this album belong

[96:54]on the list?

[96:54]We've got it right now.

[96:55]Of course,

[96:56]we all remember 218.

[96:57]If that is the perfect

[96:58]place for crazy,

[96:59]that would be crazy

[97:00]and that would mean

[97:01]it's rolling well-toned,

[97:04]okay?

[97:05]Or would this be sexy?

[97:07]Okay, sexy means

[97:08]that it's too low

[97:09]on the list.

[97:10]It should have been

[97:10]higher up.

[97:11]That doesn't make any sense.

[97:12]That would be rolling boned.

[97:14]It should have been

[97:15]higher up on the list.

[97:16]We should have heard

[97:16]this already.

[97:17]Or is this a rolling groan?

[97:19]Okay, sir.

[97:21]Okay, good.

[97:23]That's good.

[97:24]That's good.

[97:24]This is Russell

[97:25]and I.

[97:26]I had the sex clinic

[97:26]next to each other.

[97:27]Rooms next to each other.

[97:29]If this was on a scantron,

[97:34]I would get it.

[97:34]Process of elimination.

[97:39]You haven't lived

[97:40]a real life.

[97:41]You're doing the math problems,

[97:42]Russell.

[97:42]Russell's solving

[97:43]all the math problems

[97:44]and then trying to have sex

[97:45]and it's like,

[97:46]hmm,

[97:46]can't figure that out.

[97:47]Okay, now,

[97:48]goodwill hunting.

[97:50]Okay,

[97:50]it's not making any sense.

[97:51]What do you think?

[97:52]Rolling well-toned,

[97:53]rolling boned,

[97:53]or rolling groan?

[97:54]Let's start with

[97:56]Aaron, TLC,

[97:57]Crazy Sexy Cool,

[97:58]1994.

[97:58]I like this album.

[98:00]It's very fun.

[98:00]It is unfortunately

[98:02]placed on the list to me

[98:04]given what we're about

[98:05]to hear next week

[98:06]and because I listened

[98:07]to them both today,

[98:08]listened to this one

[98:08]and immediately the next one,

[98:09]I'm going to give it

[98:11]a rolling,

[98:12]a low rolling well-toned

[98:14]because I like it.

[98:15]I think the group is amazing,

[98:17]but I think next week's

[98:19]is going to be better.

[98:19]What do you think, Matt?

[98:22]Rolling well-toned,

[98:22]rolling boned,

[98:23]or rolling groan?

[98:23]TLC, Crazy Sexy Cool.

[98:25]I think my 1994 self

[98:29]thinks that this album

[98:30]should be way higher

[98:30]in the list.

[98:31]Way higher in the list.

[98:32]That makes sense.

[98:33]Again, a lot of it

[98:35]comes from the MTV era.

[98:37]The videos were on

[98:39]all the time.

[98:40]Waterfalls is like

[98:42]everybody knows that song.

[98:45]Stuff like that.

[98:45]So on the Russell scale

[98:47]of having just

[98:48]banger after banger,

[98:49]this deserves to be

[98:52]way higher on the list

[98:53]just from an album standpoint.

[98:54]I can't believe that

[98:55]the Spice Girls sold,

[98:57]this is the second,

[98:58]you said this is

[98:59]the second most popular.

[99:01]At the time,

[99:01]so this came out in 94.

[99:03]It was the first

[99:04]all-female group

[99:05]to hit 10 million.

[99:05]And I think they got

[99:07]12-ish or so.

[99:09]And the Spice Girls

[99:10]two years later in 96

[99:11]passed it

[99:12]and hit 23 million.

[99:13]Spice Girls is,

[99:14]Spice Girls,

[99:15]that album's not on the list,

[99:16]which, you know, again,

[99:17]it's not a popularity contest.

[99:18]It's the best albums

[99:19]of all time.

[99:19]But you would think that

[99:21]that album would be

[99:22]on the list too,

[99:23]I guess, somewhere.

[99:23]But I'll just say

[99:25]it's rolling well-toned.

[99:25]Rolling well-toned right here.

[99:26]If I really,

[99:28]somebody told me

[99:29]it should be way higher

[99:29]on the list,

[99:30]I wouldn't argue with them.

[99:30]But I'll just say

[99:31]it's rolling well-toned.

[99:32]What do you think, Ross?

[99:34]Rolling well-toned,

[99:35]rolling bone,

[99:35]or rolling groan?

[99:36]I'm gonna gotta say

[99:37]this is rolling well-toned.

[99:38]If you can be,

[99:39]at the time when you came out,

[99:40]if you were the greatest

[99:41]album of your type of group

[99:44]or your genre of music,

[99:45]this has to be on the list.

[99:47]It's got the two

[99:48]commercial hits,

[99:49]which I think are,

[99:49]the only thing to me

[99:50]that I don't think holds up

[99:51]are the interludes.

[99:52]Maybe at the time,

[99:53]the interludes were popular,

[99:55]but the interludes to now,

[99:56]now are an instant skip.

[99:58]If I had this on vinyl,

[99:59]it would be painful

[100:00]to get through the interludes.

[100:01]So that's the only thing

[100:02]I didn't like.

[100:03]That's probably the only reason

[100:04]I say this isn't rolling bone.

[100:05]It's the interludes,

[100:06]but I love this album.

[100:08]And it's got the cool,

[100:09]the cool artwork

[100:09]we've seen before.

[100:10]And this is like of a time.

[100:12]This like defines

[100:13]a time of music

[100:15]to not have it on here

[100:16]or not have it be this high

[100:17]would be a complete whiff

[100:19]on what was happening

[100:21]in music at the time.

[100:22]So this is rolling well-toned.

[100:23]I loved it.

[100:24]I will listen to it.

[100:25]I will listen to it again.

[100:25]This was kind of a fun one

[100:26]to turn on.

[100:27]And you're just like,

[100:27]oh yeah, banger, banger.

[100:29]I remember that.

[100:30]Like it was just,

[100:30]it was a big time memory album

[100:32]for me, for sure.

[100:33]Unfortunately,

[100:34]you guys are incorrect.

[100:35]This album gets a rolling deviation.

[100:38]Deviation.

[100:39]When the creep video came out,

[100:42]it was a real sliding doors

[100:43]moment in my life.

[100:44]If I hadn't had MTV,

[100:45]there's a good chance

[100:47]I would be a professor

[100:48]at MIT right now.

[100:49]Okay.

[100:50]I would be probably like

[100:51]a world famous politician.

[100:52]I would have been one of the,

[100:53]I would have done

[100:55]anything I wanted

[100:55]be the prime minister of France.

[100:57]Instead,

[100:58]I saw that video.

[100:59]Okay.

[101:01]And the rest of my life

[101:01]literally was in my hand

[101:03]at that moment.

[101:03]Okay.

[101:04]It's just,

[101:05]it was crazy.

[101:06]All right.

[101:07]Now, next week,

[101:08]next week,

[101:10]I get it.

[101:12]Say hello to my little friend.

[101:14]Okay.

[101:15]Not that one.

[101:16]He's my worst enemy,

[101:17]which is why I beat him

[101:18]three to four times a week.

[101:19]Oh,

[101:20]Oh,

[101:25]what?

[101:25]We're cooking with really

[101:27]we're just,

[101:27]we're it's,

[101:28]it's a sound clip

[101:29]from the album.

[101:29]Oh,

[101:30]that's a disaster.

[101:31]We're cooking with the chef.

[101:33]We've got Ray Kwan

[101:34]with only built for Cuban links.

[101:36]Ooh.

[101:37]When you want to hear about

[101:39]the greatest albums of all time.

[101:41]Russell,

[101:43]1994,

[101:43]May 27th,

[101:45]1994,

[101:46]a little band called

[101:47]the 69 boys came out.

[101:49]So Tootsie roll.

[101:50]Wow.

[101:50]My question is though,

[101:52]Matt,

[101:53]these are all resonating

[101:54]with me.

[101:55]And Aaron and Rob,

[101:56]do these albums resonate

[101:58]the same with people

[101:59]that are four years

[102:00]younger than us?

[102:01]I think the country does

[102:04]not,

[102:04]not the,

[102:05]I don't know.

[102:06]I think so.

[102:07]I mean,

[102:07]Weezer,

[102:08]the blue album is,

[102:09]is very,

[102:09]very well received

[102:11]across many,

[102:12]many generations.

[102:14]Matt,

[102:15]your thoughts on these albums

[102:16]I put on the right side

[102:17]of this notepad here tonight.

[102:18]I just wanted to remind you

[102:19]some of the things from Rob,

[102:20]the bad decisions

[102:21]I put on the left one.

[102:22]Rob did tell us a story

[102:25]about,

[102:25]I believe you missed this,

[102:26]how his dad tucked his wife

[102:27]into bed one time.

[102:28]Oh God.

[102:29]I had forgotten about that.

[102:31]Rob gave a speech

[102:33]to our Spotify listeners

[102:34]that was pretty terrible.

[102:35]And then finally,

[102:37]Rob was very confidently

[102:40]rebellious,

[102:40]unapologetically bold

[102:42]and playfully defiant

[102:43]when he was announcing it

[102:44]to his wife.

[102:45]Oh,

[102:46]I got to keep so much

[102:49]in now,

[102:49]Russell.

[102:50]That's crazy.

[102:51]Aaron,

[102:52]1995,

[102:52]1994,

[102:54]Turkish Rock,

[102:55]Ruckus,

[102:55]Ruckus,

[102:55]Ruckus,

[102:56]Bone.

[102:56]Oh,

[102:57]Russell.

[102:58]Is that on the list?

[103:00]Russell,

[103:01]did you fail your road test again?

[103:02]Yeah,

[103:03]I went the wrong way

[103:05]down a one way.