De La Soul: De La Soul Is Dead (1991)

[00:00]All right, here we go.

[00:01]Chips, California Highway Patrol.

[00:02]Oh, geez.

[00:05]Yes, yes.

[00:08]This is a theme song.

[00:10]In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums

[00:15]as decided by Rolling Stone magazine.

[00:16]This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music,

[00:19]extorted the order, and led us to making this podcast.

[00:22]We are far from experts.

[00:24]We promise to do almost no research.

[00:25]All opinions are our own unless you disagree.

[00:28]Please sit back and enjoy.

[00:30]Beck did it better.

[00:31]We are all the way up to album 228.

[00:33]And from 1991, we have De La Soul is Dead by De La Soul.

[00:37]A lot of people don't know this,

[00:39]but the band name De La Soul is Spanish for of the capital of South Korea.

[00:45]Oh.

[00:46]I feel like I've done that joke once already.

[00:49]Listen, this Chips theme song has got me thinking.

[00:55]I have a new Pandora station alert this week.

[00:57]I made a new Pandora station.

[01:00]And you know what it was?

[01:00]Disco.

[01:02]And I'll tell you what, when you're sitting at one.

[01:04]It wasn't fun as shit.

[01:04]It was so good.

[01:06]It was so fun.

[01:07]It was crazy.

[01:08]God damn.

[01:08]I love it.

[01:10]That's why I remember when we were in Las Vegas,

[01:12]I tried to get you guys to go to the disco show with me.

[01:14]And you were like, nope, not going to be fun.

[01:16]Not going to be cool.

[01:17]I was so stupid to not think that Aaron would know what's best.

[01:21]It was fun.

[01:22]That's why I kind of do want to eat fish skin.

[01:24]Because I was like, well, he eats fish skin.

[01:25]I might want to.

[01:27]Hmm.

[01:28]Aaron.

[01:30]Aaron respects his family and wants to be around them.

[01:32]I should try doing that.

[01:33]Disco music is fun.

[01:35]Listen.

[01:36]Did you discover any new tunes?

[01:38]Anything you want to share?

[01:39]Any hits we should know about?

[01:41]No.

[01:41]The new tunes I skipped immediately.

[01:43]I was like, I don't want to hear these new tunes.

[01:44]Disco tunes I've never heard.

[01:46]They can't be that good.

[01:47]Forget about it.

[01:47]Listen.

[01:49]There is no parody song today.

[01:52]So let's get right into the introductions.

[01:54]We're talking about, I've got three guys here.

[01:57]Who, when I heard all these samples, I reminded,

[02:00]I got three guys here who have never been to Costco.

[02:01]I somehow, I'm doing a podcast with three people

[02:04]who have never set foot in a Costco.

[02:05]As I was reminded by the last,

[02:07]the last De La Soul album episode that I listened to.

[02:10]I know you guys all listened to our last De La Soul album recently.

[02:14]It's, it's, we're talking crazy fast on it.

[02:17]It's insane.

[02:18]Listen.

[02:19]Could you find three guys that have never been to a Costco before?

[02:22]There's no way, right?

[02:24]Why were we talking fast in the last De La Soul episode?

[02:28]Just that one?

[02:29]I don't know.

[02:29]I was talking so fast.

[02:31]It blew my mind.

[02:31]Now we better move past Costco stuff

[02:34]or it's going to get organic with a list.

[02:36]You better keep it going.

[02:36]Oh, good.

[02:37]I've got a Russell in Minneapolis.

[02:40]Russell, how are you doing?

[02:40]Don't you have a parody song?

[02:43]I said, I don't have a parody song.

[02:45]You guys are all looking off to the left and right reading stuff.

[02:49]You got to be.

[02:49]Usually we got to, you know, behind pull back the curtain a little bit.

[02:54]You do your parody song.

[02:56]That gives us time to figure out the lyrics

[02:58]that we want to talk about when you do the introduction.

[02:59]So you throw this on us and you're kind of.

[03:02]Just say something about the doo-doo man.

[03:04]I know you guys are going to.

[03:05]Okay, fine.

[03:06]Rob, I know where you lived and I know that you're soft.

[03:10]What's up, cocksnot?

[03:11]How you doing, buddy?

[03:12]Oh, so nasty.

[03:14]I've got Matt in Minneapolis.

[03:16]Matt, how are you doing tonight?

[03:16]Connected like a vibe from the wheel to the foot.

[03:20]And I've got Aaron out in California.

[03:22]Now, Aaron is bald, but he still has a comb.

[03:25]A lot of people don't know this.

[03:26]Aaron still has a comb.

[03:27]He just can't part with it.

[03:29]Peas porridge in the pot.

[03:33]Peas porridge in the pot.

[03:36]Peas porridge in the pot.

[03:39]Nine days old.

[03:40]Let's talk about Daniel Solis today.

[03:42]Nine days old.

[03:43]Can I say this?

[03:44]When I look at the lyrics, peas was spelled P-E-A-S-E.

[03:48]Like a peas.

[03:50]But.

[03:51]It wasn't peas like the vegetable.

[03:53]Okay.

[03:55]What is peas porridge?

[03:57]Peas porridge.

[03:59]Oh, I didn't spell either one of these words right.

[04:01]So let's see what happens here.

[04:02]That's surprising.

[04:03]See, that's peas.

[04:04]Now that's.

[04:04]Now there's pea porridge.

[04:05]Also known as peas pudding.

[04:08]Peas pudding.

[04:09]Oh.

[04:09]Wow.

[04:10]It's a savory dish of boiled peas, water, salt, and spices with bacon and ham.

[04:15]Oh, God.

[04:16]This looks terrible.

[04:17]Yeah.

[04:18]Look at this peas porridge.

[04:19]That's not good looking.

[04:19]Oh.

[04:20]Look at that.

[04:20]Guessing this is like a staple food for somebody.

[04:25]Oh, yeah.

[04:25]You know British people are munching this shit down, mate.

[04:28]Oh.

[04:28]They love it.

[04:29]This looks like what they fed RoboCop.

[04:31]Ugh.

[04:32]Looks like there's a dollop of cock snot right in the middle of that picture too.

[04:35]Oh, God.

[04:35]Bruzzle.

[04:35]Okay, listen.

[04:37]Can I just say this?

[04:38]What?

[04:39]I have a strong reaction to the word snot.

[04:41]I don't like it.

[04:42]It really bugs me.

[04:44]Okay.

[04:45]I'm just going to ask politely that we not use that word anymore.

[04:48]It's one of my favorite jokes.

[04:49]It fits right along.

[04:51]What's your favorite joke?

[04:52]To the kid.

[04:53]You say to the kid, I thought it was a booger, but it's snot.

[04:55]It's just so disgusting to me.

[04:58]It turns my stomach.

[04:59]Ugh.

[05:00]Speaking of turning your stomach.

[05:03]Oh, you know what?

[05:04]Let's get to the voicemail.

[05:06]How'd that fish skin taste last week, Rob?

[05:08]No, I'm not eating fish skin, and it wasn't last week.

[05:10]Okay?

[05:11]Absolutely not gross.

[05:12]Nobody's going to a fever up in the next month, and it's not you, Russell.

[05:19]I'm not counting you.

[05:20]On the back line, 802-277-BECK.

[05:25]That's 802-277-2325.

[05:28]What was the voice?

[05:29]All right.

[05:29]I can never think about what these fish, you know, like when you actually catch a fish.

[05:33]Yes.

[05:33]And like you're holding it, and you're trying to get the hook off, and it's got like that

[05:37]snot on the outside.

[05:38]It's slimy and stuff, and then that's what you want to cook?

[05:41]I guess that is kind of like snot.

[05:42]But you clean that off, and then the snot stays on the cutting board or whatever when

[05:46]you clean, you know.

[05:47]Right.

[05:47]Kind of on your hands a little bit.

[05:48]I guess.

[05:49]It takes you so long to take the hook out that the fish dies, and you say to the kid,

[05:52]this is your fault.

[05:53]That fish wouldn't have died if it wasn't for you.

[05:55]It's kind of a fun parenting thing you can do sometimes.

[05:58]I figure if you've got a needle.

[05:59]Those pliers, you should be good.

[06:00]You should be able to do it.

[06:01]Let's get into the, let's go to the, we're going to, Bex today.

[06:04]It's not.

[06:05]And then someone says, I think this.

[06:06]The oboe was the duck in Peter.

[06:07]What's that?

[06:08]I was going to say, and then someone suggests, I think the fish will make it if we throw

[06:12]it back.

[06:12]And then you say, it's not.

[06:14]It's not going to make it.

[06:17]It's not going to make it.

[06:17]That word really doesn't bother you guys, huh?

[06:19]Ugh.

[06:19]Ugh.

[06:20]I really, it makes me ill every time you say it.

[06:22]Rob, for all the filth you have peddled on this podcast over the last four or five years.

[06:28]It only took 200.

[06:29]It took 228 episodes to figure it out.

[06:31]No, no, no.

[06:32]There's just nothing funny about that.

[06:33]You know what I mean?

[06:34]All of Russell's, whoa, oh, oh, we can't.

[06:39]No, no.

[06:40]Move it along.

[06:40]Move it along.

[06:41]Move it along.

[06:42]The other stuff, yeah.

[06:43]Well, I feel like there is.

[06:44]Huh.

[06:45]Listen, this is a voicemail from Magic Mike.

[06:49]Oh, nice.

[06:49]Oh, right.

[06:50]And it is super perverted.

[06:52]So let's get going.

[06:53]Bring it on.

[06:54]The oboe was the duck in Peter and the Wolf.

[06:56]Yes.

[06:56]But yes, in eighth grade band, I sat next to him.

[06:59]Next to the oboe player.

[07:00]Oh.

[07:01]I played trombone.

[07:02]And would imagine the things she could do with that tongue.

[07:05]Oh, my God.

[07:06]Also, she knew that I had a crush on her and used to come to band braless knowing I could

[07:13]see down her sleeveless shirt.

[07:15]Good times.

[07:16]Good guy.

[07:18]What was that?

[07:18]Yes.

[07:19]Struck down memory lane right there.

[07:21]Whoa.

[07:22]Magic Mike has lived a life the rest of us could only dream of.

[07:26]The oboe player is just teasing Magic Mike.

[07:28]But I'm just.

[07:29]I'm not sure.

[07:30]I've never sat in a configuration where the trombone was next to the oboe.

[07:33]Can I confess to you, Aaron?

[07:35]I almost brought that up.

[07:36]I was like, I don't think he's telling the truth.

[07:37]Because in what band does a trombone sit next to?

[07:40]I thought the same thing.

[07:41]I'm not calling him out.

[07:42]I'm just trying to figure out exactly what the seating chair was like.

[07:44]It sounds like you're calling him out.

[07:45]No, I'm trying to figure it out.

[07:47]I'm truly trying to figure it out.

[07:48]I'm not saying, but I'm saying.

[07:49]I trust Magic Mike.

[07:50]Can I tell you guys?

[07:52]I dated women in high school that played the unsexiest instruments.

[07:56]You know what I mean?

[07:58]It's like.

[07:59]The baritone?

[08:00]Oh, no.

[08:01]My God, Russell, you're right.

[08:03]No women play the baritone in my band.

[08:05]Hey, Rob, your mom would have a comment on that.

[08:08]Oh, no.

[08:10]The hand motion she did did make it look like the woman was playing the baritone.

[08:15]It's true.

[08:16]When she described what my girlfriend looked like.

[08:18]Oh, you're a little baritone playing girlfriend, Rob.

[08:21]Somebody asked me, they said, do you think you had a traumatic upbringing?

[08:28]I was like, no.

[08:29]And then sometimes I was like, I don't know.

[08:30]Listen, what were the other unattractive instruments?

[08:36]Well, the two were the, well, the French horn.

[08:39]Yeah.

[08:40]Yeah.

[08:41]I mean, their hand does go in there, you know, so you're kind of like.

[08:45]Sounds great.

[08:45]Yeah.

[08:46]And guess what?

[08:47]She wore a bra every day at band.

[08:49]Disgusting.

[08:50]And then the other one was bass clarinet.

[08:54]That is a big instrument.

[08:57]Yeah.

[08:58]Thank you.

[08:59]Yeah.

[09:01]Rob, I think I've told this story, but last week I told you guys a story.

[09:04]You forgot it.

[09:04]Do you guys remember?

[09:05]I did play the alto sax for two years.

[09:07]Yes.

[09:08]And we had six chairs in the alto sax.

[09:11]And I, at one point was second chair and I got challenged and I took a dive so I could

[09:17]sit next to the girl next to me.

[09:19]I took a dive in a challenge from second to third.

[09:23]That is so.

[09:24]Oh, God.

[09:26]That is so smart.

[09:28]And you know what?

[09:31]It's a no brainer.

[09:32]Well, you know what I used to do to meet girls?

[09:33]The classic move I did.

[09:35]I tell this to my students this all the time.

[09:36]In college science class, you had a lab and you met every week and you had the same lab

[09:41]partner in every lab class.

[09:43]I would.

[09:44]I don't want to say aggressively because that makes it sound like I'm a weirdo, but I would

[09:48]basically ask the most attractive woman, will you be my lab partner?

[09:52]Now, here's the thing.

[09:53]And this sounds weird to what I said.

[09:55]They can't say no.

[09:56]They can't be polite to somebody and say, no.

[09:58]No, I don't want to be your partner.

[10:00]So now I'm with these attractive women three hours a week.

[10:05]Easy.

[10:05]It's easy.

[10:06]That's easy for a guy like me.

[10:07]Let my personality shine through.

[10:09]Oh, to beat these college women.

[10:11]Yeah, man.

[10:13]I just tried to paste.

[10:14]I just tried to paste a picture of Benny Mopin into the chat, but I don't know how you can

[10:19]start to paste stuff into the chat.

[10:20]Please don't say shit like this.

[10:22]But I mean, like he, he, he was a great bass clarinetist and I mean, it's kind of a sexy

[10:28]photo.

[10:28]So I'm not sure, Rob, that bass clarinet was the worst way to go, to be honest.

[10:32]Aaron, I don't know.

[10:32]On those bass clarinets, didn't you have to open the fluid, kind of blow the snot out

[10:36]of that instrument?

[10:37]Yeah, you got to get the snot out of there.

[10:38]That's true.

[10:39]Yeah.

[10:39]My plan in college ultimately backfired.

[10:41]Benny Mopin was a multi-readist, I guess, but there are some photos of him doing the

[10:46]bass clarinet.

[10:47]My plan in college ultimately backfired because in one of the labs we had to bring in basically

[10:53]a long Q-tip that was about a foot long.

[10:57]It was in a big glass jar.

[10:58]And you had to, yeah.

[11:00]And you had to get a fecal sample with it.

[11:02]So you basically had to do that and bring it in.

[11:05]We had to put it on a Petri dish.

[11:07]Now, of course, I did it.

[11:08]Wait.

[11:08]Oh, no, this is too far.

[11:10]This is too far.

[11:12]I'm a lab partner with the most attractive woman in the class.

[11:15]I do my sample real quick, immediately throw the glass thing away.

[11:18]I knew it was not going to go well between us because she put hers on the Petri dish,

[11:23]put it back in the glass case, and then put it between us.

[11:25]And I was like, oh, okay.

[11:26]You would not do that with somebody.

[11:28]You're not even thinking about making out with.

[11:30]You would throw that glass case away immediately.

[11:32]So who would have guessed?

[11:34]It didn't work out for Rob.

[11:35]I'm still confused.

[11:36]You had to get a fecal sample of your own feces?

[11:38]I'm not going to do that.

[11:39]This seems like something you're making up in your...

[11:41]There's no way.

[11:42]No.

[11:42]No way.

[11:43]No, the class before, we had to bring in a urine sample.

[11:45]No.

[11:46]And so we had to bring it in, and you could either do it the night before

[11:49]or the morning of.

[11:51]But I was like...

[11:52]But you never looked at your snot.

[11:53]Ugh.

[11:54]This sounds like when you just got to sit down.

[11:58]You just got to say no.

[12:00]What?

[12:00]No.

[12:00]I was...

[12:01]It never...

[12:03]Listen to Nancy Reagan.

[12:05]What were your guys' majors?

[12:06]That's so strange.

[12:08]You guys weren't peeing in a cup and bringing it to class?

[12:11]No.

[12:12]No.

[12:12]Sometimes you got to say no.

[12:13]Can I tell you, Rob?

[12:14]One time I said no to an event.

[12:16]Sure.

[12:17]It was my sister-in-law's...

[12:20]It was like a co-ed...

[12:21]My brother got married.

[12:23]What do you call that?

[12:24]A shower.

[12:24]Like all the family came over for their shower.

[12:26]And my sister set up this...

[12:28]This game

[12:29]where all the men

[12:32]had to take their shoes and socks off.

[12:34]My sister-in-law

[12:36]had to feel all their feet

[12:37]and guess who it was.

[12:38]Oh, God.

[12:39]And I refused.

[12:41]I said under no circumstances

[12:43]will I do this.

[12:44]Hard pass.

[12:45]I would be out on that as well.

[12:46]There was six or seven guys

[12:48]whose shoes came off.

[12:49]Rob's Zoom is off.

[12:50]As we know.

[12:51]Rob's too, but then...

[12:52]We know where Rob would stand on this one.

[12:53]But nah.

[12:54]Not me.

[12:55]No.

[12:55]I hope these...

[12:57]Hard pass.

[12:57]I hope these...

[12:58]I hope these unknown women

[12:59]don't feel my feet the whole time.

[13:01]And like when we asked my sister

[13:03]about it like for years,

[13:04]you know, it's like,

[13:05]what were you thinking with that?

[13:06]She's like, oh, I don't know.

[13:07]I just thought it'd be fun, I guess.

[13:08]Why would you think

[13:10]that would be a good time?

[13:11]That's not fun.

[13:11]That's not.

[13:12]You know what?

[13:13]Nobody did that at my bachelor party either

[13:15]where I wanted to do that game.

[13:16]You know, this is why

[13:18]you don't introduce like family members

[13:19]to other family members.

[13:21]Right.

[13:21]See what happens.

[13:22]You know what I mean?

[13:23]Like it's never a good thing.

[13:24]Never works out.

[13:25]We never get to a wedding

[13:28]when that happens.

[13:28]So I guess the next game

[13:31]we're going to play

[13:31]is where we all put our feet

[13:32]up to the camera,

[13:32]but I guess we're not going

[13:33]to do that anymore.

[13:34]So let's get into Roland.

[13:35]Well, I just wanted to say one thing.

[13:37]You let us play that.

[13:38]Magic Mike.

[13:39]I haven't talked to Magic Mike

[13:40]in a long time

[13:42]because I got rid of Instagram

[13:43]on my phone.

[13:43]So I haven't been able

[13:45]to interact with him.

[13:46]So it's good to hear from you,

[13:47]Magic Mike.

[13:48]I'm going to have to get his

[13:48]I'm going to have to get his cell phone

[13:49]so we can trade pictures

[13:51]and concerts.

[13:51]We go to Reno in May

[13:53]if anybody wants to join us.

[13:54]Only a four hour drive for me.

[13:56]I hope that's like that's

[13:57]that's like half an hour.

[13:58]I don't know.

[13:59]I'm not sure.

[14:00]That's a lot.

[14:02]You might have a

[14:03]you might have a

[14:04]playoff.

[14:05]Technically, it's only

[14:06]a third of the day.

[14:07]Aaron, Aaron,

[14:10]we know that's like

[14:11]a full work day for you.

[14:12]I'm going to take a whole PTO

[14:16]day for four hours.

[14:17]I do.

[14:17]Right.

[14:17]Take a PTO day.

[14:18]I don't think if I worked

[14:20]one hour, I'm taking PTO day.

[14:21]I'm exempt.

[14:22]You're only going.

[14:23]It was going fine.

[14:25]But ever since

[14:28]last week,

[14:28]I've been a little bit

[14:31]burned by something

[14:33]that happened on last week's show

[14:34]and I've been ruminating.

[14:36]I've been thinking about it

[14:36]and I'm stewing on it

[14:37]all week.

[14:38]You've been thinking about it

[14:39]all week.

[14:39]Can I get ahead of this right now?

[14:40]Yeah.

[14:40]I'm sorry.

[14:42]I apologize.

[14:44]I feel terrible

[14:45]for what I did or said.

[14:46]It's actually not that.

[14:48]Oh, yes.

[14:49]Thank God.

[14:50]You were splendid last week.

[14:51]I don't think it's going to be Rob

[14:53]or Aaron would have

[14:54]just came out with it.

[14:55]The fact that he's ruminating

[14:56]means, you know,

[14:58]I'm no, this is

[14:59]I'm looking inward.

[15:00]I'm looking inward right now.

[15:01]I'm thinking about

[15:02]thinking about ways

[15:03]I could be better because

[15:04]I think, Rob,

[15:06]you were asking Matt last week

[15:07]about his approach to the lawn

[15:09]and Matt,

[15:10]what was the quote from

[15:11]Harmon Killebrew?

[15:12]Was it Harmon or is there

[15:13]a different Killebrew?

[15:14]It was Harmon Killebrew.

[15:15]Yeah.

[15:15]Can you say the quote again?

[15:16]H. H. Killebrew.

[15:17]We're raising

[15:18]children, not raising grass.

[15:21]Yeah.

[15:21]And just that

[15:23]that night last week,

[15:24]that very afternoon

[15:26]before we had recorded

[15:28]that show,

[15:28]my son had a friend over

[15:30]and I four days ago

[15:33]had put seed down on the grass.

[15:35]And so I had to tell them,

[15:36]you guys can't play on the grass

[15:37]because I seeded the grass.

[15:39]We need to stay off of it

[15:40]for two weeks.

[15:41]I was that dad

[15:43]telling the kids

[15:44]they couldn't play

[15:44]on the fucking grass.

[15:45]And so they had to play

[15:46]on the pavement,

[15:47]which has rocks on it.

[15:48]That's a whole different situation.

[15:49]And I heard him out there saying like,

[15:51]yeah, my dad said

[15:52]we can't play on the grass,

[15:53]which is also wild

[15:54]because like my kid

[15:55]never does anything

[15:56]that I ask him to do

[15:57]or not.

[15:58]I can guarantee

[16:02]if I say like,

[16:02]don't do that,

[16:03]I'm going to be out there

[16:03]like, well, he's on the grass

[16:04]and then I got to decide

[16:05]if I'm going to fight

[16:06]with him or not.

[16:07]You know what it is, Aaron.

[16:08]He didn't want to play

[16:09]on the grass,

[16:10]but he also didn't want

[16:11]to not make you feel bad.

[16:12]You know what I mean?

[16:12]Like he knew your elasticity.

[16:14]He's like, well,

[16:14]yeah, let me just stick

[16:16]that dagger in there.

[16:17]And then I heard you guys

[16:17]talking about it.

[16:18]I was like,

[16:18]God, I'm the worst.

[16:19]Like I can reseed the grass

[16:21]or you can wait another week

[16:22]or whatever,

[16:23]but I do have some.

[16:24]No, that kid's got to

[16:24]stay off the grass.

[16:25]You can't just see the grass.

[16:26]You can't be constantly

[16:27]reseeding it.

[16:28]That's ridiculous.

[16:28]That's crazy.

[16:29]And plus then,

[16:30]you know what, Aaron,

[16:30]if they're in the dirt,

[16:31]that's going to turn into mud

[16:33]and then that's coming

[16:33]in the house.

[16:34]Right, kids.

[16:35]Aaron, Aaron, Aaron,

[16:37]in three to four years,

[16:38]you're going to be wishing

[16:40]that your kid was out there

[16:41]tromping through the grass.

[16:43]That's right.

[16:43]I know.

[16:44]You're going to be inside

[16:44]playing video games,

[16:45]hanging out with all

[16:47]of his new buddies,

[16:49]you know, online stuff,

[16:50]not talking to you.

[16:51]You're going to be trying

[16:52]to find what you know.

[16:53]Learning how to smoke cigarettes.

[16:54]Fuck that grass.

[16:55]Fuck that grass.

[16:56]That's right.

[16:56]And you guys said that last week

[16:58]and I felt it was a dagger

[17:00]right to my heart.

[17:00]I should have just said,

[17:01]yep, go ahead,

[17:02]play on the grass.

[17:02]I'll throw some seed down.

[17:03]Aaron, you would be such a,

[17:04]I don't know if this is

[17:05]the right word.

[17:05]Is it a simp, Rob?

[17:06]Like, it would be such a simp

[17:08]if you're just like,

[17:09]oh God, I know I spent

[17:11]a ton of time on this,

[17:12]but you guys go out

[17:12]and run out of it anyways.

[17:13]Give me a break.

[17:14]Stay off the lawn.

[17:15]Have some discipline.

[17:18]Aaron, you should just tell them

[17:19]whatever you,

[17:20]I need you guys

[17:21]to walk on the lawn, please.

[17:22]Whatever, yes.

[17:23]Fuck that.

[17:23]We're not going on the lawn.

[17:24]No way.

[17:24]We're staying on this pavement

[17:25]where we want to be.

[17:26]Yeah, no, that's,

[17:27]that's exactly what it was.

[17:28]So yeah, I've been,

[17:29]I've been thinking that through,

[17:30]working on it.

[17:31]And that's the

[17:32]back to the better

[17:33]bad parenting moment

[17:34]of the week.

[17:35]Little boy blue

[17:37]and the man on the moon.

[17:39]Aaron,

[17:39]listen, at least you're,

[17:42]you're giving your kids

[17:43]something to talk about

[17:44]in therapy when they get old.

[17:45]You're in my head

[17:45]with this song too, Rob,

[17:46]because I, well,

[17:47]we're just going to keep

[17:48]going with the bad parenting

[17:48]because my son wants

[17:50]to wrestle pretty often

[17:51]at the end of the night,

[17:52]which usually means

[17:53]it just devolves into him

[17:55]throwing his body

[17:56]at my nuts or whatever.

[17:57]And sometimes I'm like tired

[17:59]and like, I don't want to like,

[18:01]or it's like him

[18:01]jumping off the couch

[18:02]and grabbing around my neck

[18:03]or whatever it is.

[18:04]And like, sometimes I'm like,

[18:05]oh God, I know he's going

[18:07]to ask me to wrestle.

[18:07]And then it's like,

[18:08]you can say no.

[18:09]And I'm like, I can't say no.

[18:11]I can't because

[18:12]there'll be a last day.

[18:13]There will be a last time.

[18:14]And like, I have to say yes

[18:15]every time.

[18:16]Matt.

[18:16]Have you, I mean,

[18:18]there's like good

[18:19]child psychology

[18:21]about wrestling with dad

[18:22]and all this stuff.

[18:23]And like, you know,

[18:24]like this is how you,

[18:25]you learn rules, right?

[18:27]Like a kid steps over

[18:28]like, hey, against the rules.

[18:29]Can't do that.

[18:30]But you know,

[18:30]things like that.

[18:31]There's all sorts.

[18:32]There's all sorts of

[18:33]great child psychology

[18:34]stuff about wrestling

[18:36]and kids, you know,

[18:37]just they want to,

[18:38]you know, if you look at like,

[18:40]like lion cubs

[18:43]out in the wild, right?

[18:44]They're always just

[18:45]wrestling with each other,

[18:46]right?

[18:46]And they're always

[18:46]trying to pick up.

[18:47]There's just,

[18:47]there's some huge

[18:48]psychology to that.

[18:49]You're going to have to learn

[18:50]to deal with that ringworm, son.

[18:51]I should lean

[18:53]on that because

[18:53]all I think about is

[18:54]Rob's going to play

[18:55]the Cats in the Cradle song

[18:56]and I'm going to wish

[18:58]that I had

[18:58]made different choices.

[19:00]There's one thing

[19:02]psychology doesn't talk about

[19:03]and that's when I tell my kids,

[19:04]get the tables.

[19:05]You want to wrestle?

[19:06]Get the tables.

[19:07]Let's go.

[19:07]I mean, I don't know, Aaron.

[19:11]Like it's,

[19:12]there's going to be one day

[19:14]where it's the last day

[19:15]you can possibly

[19:15]chokeslam your child

[19:16]into the couch.

[19:17]You know what I mean?

[19:18]Like just that,

[19:19]it's the perfect wrestling move.

[19:20]He's probably,

[19:21]he's probably not big enough

[19:22]to put a,

[19:22]to put a figure four

[19:23]or sharpshooter on him yet though.

[19:25]It doesn't even hurt.

[19:26]I can't do the figure four.

[19:28]He's,

[19:29]his legs are too long.

[19:30]It's hard to,

[19:31]hard to make it happen,

[19:31]but sharpshooter is long.

[19:33]When you do it, Aaron,

[19:33]you're going to snap it

[19:34]like a twig, brother.

[19:35]I can still do a pushup

[19:38]with him on my back.

[19:39]That's my main goal

[19:40]is to make sure

[19:40]I can still do one pushup

[19:42]with him on my back,

[19:42]but it's getting close.

[19:43]Guys, I appreciate it.

[19:45]Thank you for

[19:46]the therapy session.

[19:47]I'm picturing Aaron

[19:48]getting put into a camel clutch.

[19:50]Just getting his ass kicked.

[19:52]I think it's

[19:52]so funny.

[19:53]It's getting there.

[19:53]It's going to be good there.

[19:54]Matt, rolling going.

[19:55]How's it going with you?

[19:56]Well, Aaron was thinking

[19:58]about last week's episode

[19:59]all week,

[20:00]and I've been thinking

[20:00]about two weeks,

[20:01]two or three weeks ago.

[20:02]It's been just,

[20:03]it's been just gnawing at me.

[20:05]So as long as we're getting

[20:06]all this stuff.

[20:07]Just bringing up old shit.

[20:08]Matt, can I just say

[20:10]something real quick?

[20:10]Yep.

[20:11]Can you tell your wife,

[20:13]I'm sorry.

[20:14]Okay.

[20:15]I didn't mean what I said.

[20:16]I feel bad.

[20:18]I'm going to be a better person.

[20:19]I'm going to work on myself.

[20:20]Okay.

[20:21]It is,

[20:22]it does have to do

[20:23]with you though.

[20:23]Yes.

[20:24]Everybody,

[20:24]everybody wants to know

[20:26]how is the insurance going

[20:28]with the Wigovie?

[20:29]Oh.

[20:30]Oh, right.

[20:31]You teased it

[20:33]and then we never.

[20:33]Yeah.

[20:34]So what's,

[20:35]what's going on?

[20:36]You know,

[20:36]how does it go on?

[20:37]So first of all,

[20:38]I'm still working on it.

[20:39]I've still been calling

[20:40]back and forth

[20:40]trying to have these guys

[20:41]send forms,

[20:41]but I did get a fun letter

[20:43]from Express Scripts

[20:44]where they said

[20:45]it's denied

[20:46]unless I've had,

[20:47]I can prove that I've had

[20:48]a myocardial infarction

[20:49]or an amputation

[20:51]due to my heart condition.

[20:52]Whoa.

[20:53]So I'm like,

[20:53]to get on a weight loss drug,

[20:55]I now need to,

[20:55]ironically,

[20:56]I would need to have

[20:58]something cut off of my body,

[20:59]which is one of the top three ways

[21:01]I can think about losing weight

[21:02]at this point

[21:02]because the normal stuff

[21:04]isn't working.

[21:04]I cannot stand.

[21:07]Can't stand.

[21:08]I just,

[21:09]I can't,

[21:10]I,

[21:10]I can't,

[21:12]I'm mad at myself

[21:13]for not realizing

[21:14]how stupid I am

[21:15]for not knowing

[21:16]how bad this

[21:17]insurance stuff is.

[21:18]I cannot,

[21:18]I'm calling back and forth

[21:20]to multiple people.

[21:21]You know what they all say?

[21:22]Well,

[21:22]they need to send us a form.

[21:23]I bet I've had 35 people

[21:25]tell me that.

[21:26]And every time I call,

[21:27]they tell me something different.

[21:28]And the last time I called my insurance,

[21:29]they're like,

[21:29]well,

[21:30]we're not in charge

[21:31]of what medications you give.

[21:32]And I was like,

[21:33]well,

[21:33]I've called you six times.

[21:34]This is the first time

[21:34]anybody's told me that.

[21:35]It's crazy.

[21:36]Have you called your doctor

[21:37]and had their,

[21:38]their nurse call

[21:39]your insurance company?

[21:40]No.

[21:41]No,

[21:41]I texted,

[21:42]I text my doctor.

[21:43]You need to call your doctor.

[21:44]You need to call your doctor

[21:45]and say,

[21:45]hey,

[21:46]I'm having trouble with this.

[21:47]Do you have somebody

[21:49]in your office

[21:49]that can help me out?

[21:52]It was all they do

[21:53]is,

[21:54]is work on this stuff.

[21:55]You need to call your doctor

[21:57]and have them do it.

[21:58]If I'm not eligible

[21:59]for weight loss drugs,

[22:02]I cannot imagine who is.

[22:04]I,

[22:05]I can't,

[22:06]and it's the only time

[22:07]we're on these forums.

[22:07]They're like,

[22:08]how tall are you?

[22:08]And I'm like,

[22:09]five,

[22:10]10.

[22:10]I'm like shrinking myself down.

[22:12]You would never say

[22:14]under five 11 ever.

[22:15]No,

[22:15]never.

[22:16]But on these forums,

[22:17]I'm like,

[22:17]hmm,

[22:17]if my BMI goes up a little bit,

[22:19]it might help me get me

[22:20]into that class three.

[22:21]Yeah,

[22:21]no,

[22:22]man,

[22:22]it's,

[22:22]it's an absolute nightmare

[22:23]and it puts me

[22:24]in an incredibly bad mood

[22:25]all the time.

[22:25]That's not good.

[22:26]Yeah,

[22:28]I don't have it.

[22:28]Matt,

[22:29]I've got no cum gutters.

[22:30]Can you imagine?

[22:32]I thought by this time

[22:33]I was going to have

[22:33]cum gutters for sure.

[22:34]Yeah.

[22:35]You know,

[22:36]when we talked about this

[22:37]and other people

[22:37]have commented that

[22:38]you do look better

[22:40]than you did in college,

[22:41]but it was kind of

[22:42]a consensus among the group,

[22:44]but Rob,

[22:44]I get,

[22:45]I want to look,

[22:45]you would look better

[22:46]with cum gutters

[22:47]than you look right now.

[22:48]I want to tell you something.

[22:49]What do you think?

[22:49]Might make you feel better.

[22:50]I was watching,

[22:51]I got,

[22:52]down some YouTube

[22:52]rabbit holes recently,

[22:53]watched a few videos

[22:54]of D'Angelo.

[22:55]Nice.

[22:56]I don't think D'Angelo

[22:57]has cum gutters anymore either.

[22:59]He doesn't appear

[22:59]with his shirt off,

[23:00]so it's not hard

[23:00]to say for sure.

[23:01]Well,

[23:02]he's probably like

[23:02]65 years old.

[23:04]Yeah,

[23:04]I don't think

[23:05]he's got cum gutters either.

[23:06]So those were fleeting.

[23:07]They were ephemeral,

[23:08]but the cum gutters

[23:09]of your heart

[23:10]last forever,

[23:11]Rob.

[23:11]Well,

[23:12]that's the other thing

[23:13]that doctors are looking at.

[23:14]Doctors are looking

[23:15]at the cum gutters

[23:16]of my heart

[23:16]and saying

[23:16]there's some issues

[23:17]going on.

[23:18]Now listen,

[23:19]we have a blockage

[23:21]in the left,

[23:21]gutter on this person.

[23:23]Sign him up

[23:24]for the Wigovie.

[23:25]You should have seen

[23:26]how fast my cardiologist

[23:28]backed off

[23:28]when she's like,

[23:28]well,

[23:28]you have gained

[23:29]10 pounds recently.

[23:30]I said,

[23:31]yeah,

[23:31]I know

[23:31]because I don't get insurance

[23:33]for the weight loss drugs.

[23:34]She's like,

[23:34]well,

[23:34]that's not me.

[23:35]I'm not.

[23:35]And I was like,

[23:36]yeah,

[23:36]I bet.

[23:36]It's nobody's fault,

[23:38]apparently.

[23:38]Don't get me started

[23:39]on those assholes.

[23:40]These doctors

[23:41]blaming everything on the,

[23:43]oh my Lord.

[23:44]Oh my God.

[23:45]Do we?

[23:45]Rob,

[23:46]you're seeing your cardiologist

[23:48]more than I'm comfortable with.

[23:49]You just throw this out there.

[23:51]Like,

[23:51]I was seeing my cardiologist

[23:52]like,

[23:52]no,

[23:53]you know what my cardiologist

[23:54]did to me this time?

[23:55]When I went in there last time,

[23:56]she's like,

[23:56]I want you to get this

[23:57]one little test,

[23:58]but you don't need to.

[24:00]The calcium one?

[24:01]Is it the calcium?

[24:02]No,

[24:02]I already did that.

[24:03]It's like a more

[24:04]like into the heart calcium one.

[24:05]Listen,

[24:06]I'm fine,

[24:06]Aaron.

[24:07]I've been to the doctor.

[24:08]My blood pressure,

[24:08]I'm telling you,

[24:09]120 over 80.

[24:09]I took it today.

[24:10]I know.

[24:10]All right.

[24:11]All right.

[24:11]Rob,

[24:12]this is,

[24:12]my face is so red tonight.

[24:14]I don't know what's going on.

[24:15]Could you send Matt and I

[24:16]the password to the podcast,

[24:21]because you're going to delete it.

[24:24]You already said that.

[24:25]You should probably just send it

[24:26]to Russ and John from Edina,

[24:28]because he'll be the one

[24:30]who'll be the backup.

[24:31]That's who I'm going to send it to.

[24:32]He's the one

[24:32]who's going to carry our torch.

[24:33]I'm going to send half of it

[24:34]to John and Edina

[24:35]and half of it to Magic Mike.

[24:36]Okay?

[24:37]That's going to be the trust

[24:38]from here on out.

[24:39]And they'll meet in Topeka

[24:41]and exchange.

[24:42]my cardiologist says,

[24:43]you should get this test,

[24:44]but it's not really necessary.

[24:45]This is at the end of the summer.

[24:47]I said,

[24:47]okay,

[24:48]if I was your kid,

[24:48]would you tell him to go get it?

[24:50]She's like,

[24:51]man,

[24:51]I don't know.

[24:52]My answer would be,

[24:53]does my insurance cover it?

[24:54]Well,

[24:55]I go back into this next appointment.

[24:56]She goes,

[24:57]why didn't you get this test?

[24:58]And I was like,

[24:59]you said it wasn't a big deal.

[25:01]She goes,

[25:01]you're way too young.

[25:03]I was like,

[25:04]what?

[25:04]You didn't say that last time.

[25:05]You were not saying the words,

[25:07]you're way too young.

[25:07]You were going like this.

[25:08]I don't know.

[25:09]So I was getting reamed out

[25:11]by my cardiologist.

[25:12]And I was like,

[25:12]fine,

[25:12]I'll go get the test.

[25:13]And then she's like,

[25:13]and you didn't sign up

[25:14]for a sleep study either.

[25:15]And I was like,

[25:16]I would love to be in a sleep study.

[25:18]All I want is a sleep study.

[25:19]Study my sleep

[25:20]any time you want, right?

[25:21]I would love to get a CPAP machine.

[25:23]I mean,

[25:23]a bunch of guys in lab coats

[25:25]watching me sleep.

[25:25]What?

[25:26]Apparently all the cool kids

[25:28]have them too.

[25:29]I know.

[25:30]Those guys,

[25:31]I'm so jealous of the CPAP guys

[25:32]in Vegas.

[25:33]You'd barely get a room in Las Vegas

[25:33]if you didn't have a CPAP.

[25:34]Oh my God.

[25:35]It'd be so great.

[25:36]Except I don't know

[25:37]if I can sleep on my back.

[25:38]That's a legit concern

[25:39]I have with the CPAP.

[25:40]Oh,

[25:41]it'd be tough.

[25:42]Can you do anything

[25:43]on your back?

[25:45]I swear,

[25:47]that's how I read books.

[25:48]I can't do that on your stomach.

[25:52]I've been reading the same one

[25:52]for six months.

[25:53]Well,

[25:54]I flip around to my stomach

[25:55]though sometimes too.

[25:55]I have to kind of roll.

[25:56]Jenny says sleeping next to me

[25:58]is like sleeping next to a tsunami.

[25:59]She says I'm moving

[26:00]and I'm moving around

[26:01]all the time.

[26:02]Well,

[26:04]that's good, Rob.

[26:05]I'm sorry I brought that up,

[26:07]but I'm hoping

[26:07]you can fix that.

[26:08]No.

[26:09]That was Matt

[26:10]rolling going.

[26:10]Rob,

[26:11]rolling going,

[26:12]how's it going with you?

[26:13]Oh,

[26:13]is my doctor's office

[26:14]open on the weekends

[26:14]when I can communicate with them?

[26:16]No,

[26:16]they're not.

[26:17]But your dentist is.

[26:18]Those fucking greedy folks.

[26:20]Oh,

[26:20]yeah.

[26:20]They're definitely open

[26:22]on the weekends.

[26:22]You know what I mean?

[26:23]That's the other thing.

[26:24]I'm going to the dentist tomorrow.

[26:25]Last time I was there,

[26:25]guess what they told me?

[26:26]Oh,

[26:27]yeah,

[26:27]your wisdom teeth

[26:27]in the back of your mouth

[26:28]that have been there

[26:29]your whole life.

[26:29]You really should get those pulled out.

[26:32]Do you still have wisdom teeth?

[26:34]Yeah.

[26:35]I do too.

[26:36]I do too.

[26:37]I love it.

[26:38]There's a guy in my office,

[26:40]a buddy of mine in my office.

[26:42]He had his pulled today.

[26:43]He had one in the back,

[26:44]upper left pulled today.

[26:46]Nice.

[26:46]Let me tell you,

[26:47]I've had mine

[26:48]pulled,

[26:48]I don't know,

[26:49]10 years ago,

[26:49]something like that.

[26:50]And the ratcheting

[26:53]and the sound

[26:54]of a molar

[26:55]getting pulled out

[26:56]is unbelievable.

[26:57]It is crazy.

[26:58]I cannot,

[27:00]I don't know how,

[27:02]I don't know how

[27:03]dentists like

[27:04]do that for the first time.

[27:05]You're like,

[27:06]okay,

[27:06]go pull a person's tooth out.

[27:07]Yeah.

[27:08]They're like,

[27:08]oh,

[27:08]you're starting to get

[27:09]a cavity back there.

[27:09]So it might just be easier

[27:10]to take it out.

[27:11]And I remember thinking to myself,

[27:12]like,

[27:12]no,

[27:13]I don't think

[27:14]that would be easier.

[27:14]I just take out all four.

[27:16]I'm good with my jaw

[27:17]rotting off

[27:18]for the next 30 years.

[27:19]Thank you.

[27:20]Really,

[27:22]the worst part of it,

[27:23]though,

[27:23]is getting your wisdom teeth out

[27:24]is just the Novocaine prick,

[27:26]you know,

[27:26]from the little needles.

[27:27]Because,

[27:28]I mean,

[27:28]you don't feel it,

[27:29]but the sound of it.

[27:30]The sound drives me

[27:31]fucking crazy.

[27:32]Yeah.

[27:32]And that's the thing is that

[27:33]they told me to do this.

[27:35]And I said,

[27:35]of course,

[27:35]so of course I said,

[27:36]oh,

[27:36]okay.

[27:37]And now I got to go back

[27:38]tomorrow and face the music.

[27:39]So I'm going to get reamed out

[27:40]by my dentist tomorrow too.

[27:42]Guys,

[27:43]the worst part for me

[27:44]was I got mine out

[27:44]in high school

[27:45]and I will never forget.

[27:46]It was the same,

[27:48]the same month that

[27:49]Star Wars Episode 4

[27:51]was re-released in theaters.

[27:52]I went to see it

[27:53]at the River Hills,

[27:53]had the sutures in my mouth.

[27:56]They told me I could eat whatever.

[27:57]I ate some popcorn.

[27:58]Once I got the sutures out,

[28:00]then when you,

[28:01]it was like a week later

[28:02]than you're rinsing your mouth

[28:03]and there's like popcorn holes

[28:04]coming out of places

[28:05]that I didn't even know.

[28:06]Like it was the nastiest.

[28:07]I will never forget it.

[28:08]This was,

[28:09]I was 17 years old.

[28:10]I still remember like,

[28:11]wait,

[28:11]I ate popcorn a week ago

[28:13]and there's popcorn holes

[28:14]coming out of the saline rinse.

[28:16]It's fucked up.

[28:18]Oh,

[28:18]gosh.

[28:19]I don't want to go

[28:20]to the dentist tomorrow now.

[28:21]Just stay up,

[28:22]just stay up all night.

[28:23]They're open.

[28:24]They'll take your money.

[28:25]What's next week's episode?

[28:26]Let's do a third,

[28:27]let's do a third album

[28:28]and just roll through

[28:29]until morning.

[28:29]Can I demand that my teeth

[28:31]don't get pulled?

[28:32]Can I do that?

[28:33]It's your problem.

[28:33]Your teeth,

[28:34]you just say,

[28:35]I'm going to pass on that.

[28:36]Yeah,

[28:36]they can't force you

[28:37]to pull it off.

[28:37]You just get out of the chair

[28:39]and leave.

[28:40]Your teeth.

[28:41]But his dentist

[28:42]had no issues with it

[28:43]for 45 years.

[28:44]I'm wondering

[28:46]if this dentist

[28:46]just happens to be

[28:47]trying to make

[28:48]a buck.

[28:48]That's the other thing

[28:49]is they're like,

[28:50]oh,

[28:50]you have to go

[28:51]to a whole different office

[28:52]to do it.

[28:52]And that makes me nervous too.

[28:53]Matt,

[28:56]what else?

[28:56]Anything else?

[28:57]Rob,

[28:57]Rob,

[28:58]Rob,

[28:58]Roland going,

[28:58]how's it going?

[28:59]First of all,

[29:02]Christmas tree's still up.

[29:03]Just want to let you guys

[29:04]know that Christmas tree

[29:05]is still up.

[29:05]We've talked about

[29:07]Christmas cards

[29:07]that they've been sent.

[29:08]Have the Christmas cards

[29:09]been sent?

[29:09]Can't quite tell.

[29:11]You're not,

[29:11]you're not lighting matches

[29:13]to light anything

[29:14]that you're doing

[29:15]in the house.

[29:16]You're not going to have

[29:16]candles up or anything.

[29:18]Do you?

[29:18]No,

[29:18]no,

[29:18]no,

[29:19]no,

[29:19]no.

[29:19]It's absolutely not.

[29:20]Candles,

[29:21]actually candles terrify me.

[29:22]I've,

[29:23]I've had candles

[29:24]a couple of times

[29:24]in the house.

[29:25]I'd never trust myself

[29:25]with them.

[29:26]I mean,

[29:27]you're talking to a guy

[29:27]who wants,

[29:28]I,

[29:28]I once put a pan on

[29:30]my cast iron pan

[29:32]on the stovetop

[29:32]to like let it dry out

[29:33]and I was going to oil it

[29:35]and then I went

[29:35]and took a bath.

[29:36]Oh.

[29:37]So it's on,

[29:38]my cast iron pan

[29:39]is on the oven.

[29:40]Full,

[29:40]full bore.

[29:41]I'm in the bath

[29:42]and I was like,

[29:42]ugh,

[29:43]what's that smell?

[29:44]And then I go,

[29:45]shit.

[29:46]And so here I am,

[29:47]buck naked,

[29:48]getting out of the bathtub,

[29:49]going Carl Lewis

[29:50]across the bathroom

[29:51]and of course,

[29:52]it's like smoky

[29:53]and Jenny's sleeping.

[29:54]So I was like,

[29:55]this fucking fire alarm

[29:57]is going to go off

[29:57]and my ass is grass.

[30:00]You should start a journal.

[30:02]Rob,

[30:03]will you start a journal

[30:04]of all the ways

[30:04]that you wake up Jenny?

[30:05]She's like,

[30:06]someday,

[30:06]left a pan on the,

[30:09]left a pan on the oven

[30:11]and it was smoky.

[30:12]Oh,

[30:12]just woke up Jenny.

[30:13]But the alarm,

[30:14]for some reason,

[30:15]did not,

[30:15]did not go off.

[30:16]Oh,

[30:17]you got to put battery,

[30:18]you got to put batteries

[30:19]in this.

[30:20]Big man upstairs.

[30:20]Oh,

[30:21]this,

[30:21]this alarm goes off

[30:22]at the slightest provocation

[30:24]to any time.

[30:24]The batteries are all

[30:25]in the bedside thing.

[30:26]There's no batteries in this.

[30:27]Oh my gosh.

[30:28]Listen,

[30:30]if my wife is using nine volts,

[30:31]I would feel bad about myself.

[30:32]There's no way.

[30:33]That is Rob's wife

[30:34]you're talking about.

[30:35]Oh,

[30:37]Aaron wants to talk

[30:37]about my wife masturbating.

[30:38]Every show.

[30:41]Nope,

[30:41]nope,

[30:42]nope.

[30:42]That's too much.

[30:43]Can we go one show?

[30:45]We have one show.

[30:47]Reset the counter.

[30:49]Zero shows since Aaron.

[30:51]It's been zero episodes since Aaron.

[30:53]Rob's memoir is going to be called

[30:55]My Ass is Grass

[30:56]and Jenny's the Lawn.

[30:57]Now listen,

[31:00]we had a major problem today.

[31:02]Went to get soup dumplings.

[31:03]Okay.

[31:04]Something humiliating

[31:05]as a family happened.

[31:07]This was a family humiliation.

[31:09]All of you.

[31:10]The four of us are sitting there.

[31:12]We're getting soup dumplings

[31:13]from Joe Shanghai,

[31:14]our favorite meal.

[31:15]Yes.

[31:15]And we know

[31:17]like when I go by myself,

[31:19]sometimes I will get

[31:19]two trays of soup dumpling.

[31:21]Now that's way too many

[31:22]because there's like

[31:22]eight big soup dumplings

[31:24]are like the size of my

[31:25]little smaller than my fist.

[31:26]Okay.

[31:27]There's like eight of them

[31:28]in a tray.

[31:29]Four of us there.

[31:31]We sit down.

[31:31]We say,

[31:31]hey,

[31:32]we want four trays

[31:35]of soup dumpling.

[31:36]And the waiter

[31:37]and the waiter goes,

[31:38]no,

[31:39]that's too many.

[31:40]And we all look at each other

[31:42]like

[31:43]shame.

[31:45]Shame.

[31:46]Yeah.

[31:46]He's like,

[31:46]I will not bring you four.

[31:48]I'm going to bring you,

[31:49]I'll bring you three.

[31:49]And we're like,

[31:51]okay.

[31:52]And then we order

[31:56]a scallion pancake.

[31:57]So he brings

[31:59]a scallion pancake.

[32:00]We eat it.

[32:00]We eat the soup dumplings.

[32:01]We do order the fourth tray.

[32:03]Yes.

[32:04]And another scallion pancake.

[32:05]And we eat it.

[32:06]That's on him.

[32:06]And at the end,

[32:07]when he comes out,

[32:08]he goes,

[32:08]you guys already ate

[32:10]the scallion pancake?

[32:11]He said,

[32:12]you guys eat so fast.

[32:14]And we were like,

[32:15]as a family,

[32:17]just an absolute humiliation.

[32:19]We talked about it all night.

[32:20]Who was the most embarrassed?

[32:22]Who was the most ashamed?

[32:23]Oh,

[32:24]all of us.

[32:25]I mean,

[32:25]I think Jenny,

[32:26]I mean,

[32:26]all of us looked at my daughter,

[32:27]Amelia and I,

[32:28]the oldest one and I

[32:29]really looked at each other

[32:30]because,

[32:30]and then the youngest one

[32:31]was like,

[32:32]I can go for another,

[32:34]half a scallion pancake.

[32:35]You guys want to order one?

[32:36]And I was kind of like,

[32:37]yeah,

[32:37]I was thinking about it too.

[32:38]But you can't do it

[32:39]after you've been shamed

[32:40]by the waiter.

[32:41]It's embarrassing.

[32:42]That's what I said too.

[32:43]Have you guys ever been shamed

[32:44]like as a,

[32:44]a date,

[32:45]like as a,

[32:45]like a whole family,

[32:46]like at a time where you're like,

[32:48]oh,

[32:49]this is embarrassing for all of us.

[32:50]No,

[32:50]I'm getting a lot of no's.

[32:51]Okay.

[32:51]So it's just me

[32:52]or the whole family.

[32:54]Like,

[32:54]all right.

[32:57]Rolling,

[32:58]going.

[32:58]Russell.

[32:59]I was going to say,

[33:00]I've had it happen at bars

[33:01]where people are like,

[33:02]well,

[33:02]you guys really know how to drink.

[33:03]But I mean,

[33:03]I feel like that's worse.

[33:05]So,

[33:05]you know,

[33:06]it's kind of like when they take,

[33:08]I don't like when they take

[33:09]the drink menu away from you.

[33:10]That's like,

[33:11]oh,

[33:11]maybe,

[33:11]maybe I don't need to have another one.

[33:14]that's a great point.

[33:16]Can I just say this?

[33:17]Don't tell me if I'm eating too many dumplings.

[33:20]I don't need to know it.

[33:21]you don't have any dumplings

[33:21]for you.

[33:22]Hey,

[33:22]I'm having insurance issues right now.

[33:24]I'm here to spend money.

[33:26]Your job is to convince me to buy more

[33:28]of those soup dumplings.

[33:29]My cash is green.

[33:31]You should be encouraging me

[33:33]to eat those scallion pancakes.

[33:34]Yes.

[33:35]They tell me I'm a good boy

[33:36]rubbing my tummy.

[33:37]Yeah.

[33:38]It tastes like soap.

[33:39]I want to be offered dessert

[33:40]every time.

[33:41]I don't care how many appetizers we got

[33:43]or how many,

[33:44]you know,

[33:44]entrees we're in.

[33:45]I want the dessert menu,

[33:46]damn it.

[33:46]I'll make the choice if I got room.

[33:48]Yeah.

[33:48]Got room for dessert?

[33:49]You know what?

[33:50]No,

[33:50]I don't have room,

[33:51]but I'm going to order one anyway.

[33:52]The appetizer sampler

[33:53]can be a main entree.

[33:55]Okay?

[33:56]It's all there.

[33:58]All the time at Perkins.

[33:59]Yeah,

[33:59]100%.

[34:00]Russell eats sort of the appetizer sampler

[34:01]once in a while.

[34:02]My cardiologist has got some issues

[34:04]with that too,

[34:05]Aaron.

[34:05]They're always on our ass,

[34:07]Russell.

[34:07]I literally ordered

[34:09]an appetizer sampler

[34:11]on my first date with my wife.

[34:12]Yes.

[34:13]We went to Perkins

[34:14]and I got,

[34:14]I got an appetizer sampler

[34:15]because you know why?

[34:16]I mean,

[34:16]what else are you going to get?

[34:17]Because I'm a fucking idiot.

[34:18]The term is 12.

[34:20]Did you go to Perkins

[34:22]on Highway 3 down there

[34:24]near Dundas?

[34:25]No,

[34:27]it was the one up

[34:28]by the movie theater

[34:29]up off 35

[34:31]and the movie theater up.

[34:33]35 and 70,

[34:33]yes.

[34:33]Right by the Lakeville movie theater.

[34:35]That's it,

[34:35]exactly.

[34:36]West,

[34:36]yeah,

[34:36]west side of the road.

[34:38]Now,

[34:39]that was our first date

[34:40]because we went to see The Exorcist.

[34:41]Now,

[34:42]I classically,

[34:43]of course,

[34:43]hate scary movies,

[34:44]I get too scared at them.

[34:45]Okay,

[34:46]so that was a bad.

[34:47]Second date,

[34:48]of course,

[34:48]we went to Sex World together.

[34:49]Was that like her decision

[34:53]and you just couldn't say no

[34:55]and you're like,

[34:55]yeah,

[34:55]sure,

[34:55]we'll go,

[34:56]I'll go see The Exorcist.

[34:57]I don't think so

[34:58]because I was the kind

[34:59]of the forward one

[35:00]to go on the date.

[35:01]Believe it or not,

[35:02]she was not begging me

[35:03]to go on a date with her

[35:04]whereas I dumped my girlfriend

[35:05]of four years

[35:05]to go on this date.

[35:07]Rob,

[35:07]was there any other

[35:09]Sex World trips

[35:09]or was that like a bait and switch

[35:11]where she did it once

[35:12]to make it seem like

[35:13]she's super cool?

[35:14]Russell,

[35:14]okay,

[35:15]first of all,

[35:16]this is my wife's masturbation

[35:18]that you're talking about

[35:18]once again.

[35:19]My wife.

[35:21]So let's just

[35:22]think about that.

[35:22]Russell,

[35:22]can we go one episode

[35:24]of what you're talking about?

[35:25]There were a few trips there,

[35:28]okay,

[35:28]but I will say

[35:29]the first one,

[35:29]I was advised to do it

[35:30]by a football teammate of mine

[35:32]who later turned out

[35:34]to have a sex addiction.

[35:35]I found out later

[35:36]that he had a crippling

[35:37]sex addiction

[35:38]and that's where

[35:39]I got my advice

[35:39]on where to go

[35:40]on a second date.

[35:41]That's from the guy.

[35:42]Ripping his horse.

[35:44]And that's chapter four

[35:46]of the book.

[35:46]But this was back

[35:47]when Sex World

[35:48]was memoirs.

[35:49]So we went in

[35:49]and of course you do

[35:50]what you always do.

[35:50]Where's,

[35:51]but what is Sex World?

[35:52]Maybe where's it located, man?

[35:53]Oh, Russell,

[35:54]what are you doing?

[35:55]Come on, Russell.

[35:55]I think it's on Washington.

[35:56]Yeah, well, yeah.

[35:57]Where could it be?

[35:58]It's by,

[35:59]it could be by Deja Vu,

[36:00]maybe.

[36:00]North Loop?

[36:01]Is it that spot

[36:02]where if you're coming

[36:03]from the West,

[36:03]you got like 394

[36:05]kind of dumps you

[36:05]right downtown?

[36:06]It dumps you right there.

[36:07]It could, yeah.

[36:08]Right by,

[36:08]you take a left,

[36:09]you go to Deja Vu.

[36:10]You got the pork chop shop

[36:12]right there.

[36:13]There used to be

[36:13]that Cuban restaurant

[36:14]right by it.

[36:15]The shoe show, man.

[36:15]Poor guys on the podcast

[36:19]who are trying to not act

[36:20]like they know exactly

[36:20]where Sex World is.

[36:21]Sex World dates

[36:24]were a great idea, though.

[36:25]I'm just going to tell you

[36:26]that right now.

[36:26]It's a great idea,

[36:27]except for what we did,

[36:29]which is,

[36:30]this is back when

[36:31]Sex World had

[36:32]the booths

[36:34]and they were playing

[36:35]dirty movies.

[36:36]And Jenny and I were like,

[36:37]what the heck?

[36:38]They have these booths?

[36:39]So we go into one

[36:40]and we open the door

[36:42]and there's a guy

[36:43]in there jerking it.

[36:44]And we're like,

[36:44]oh, that's what

[36:45]they're doing in here.

[36:46]So like,

[36:48]how was that 45-minute

[36:50]drive back to Northfield

[36:51]after that?

[36:52]It was awesome.

[36:53]Oh.

[36:54]It was great.

[37:00]To go back to her

[37:02]dorm room full of

[37:04]five other girls

[37:04]because it was a quad

[37:05]and one other person

[37:06]just decided to live with them.

[37:07]And what did that

[37:08]one other person bring?

[37:09]I don't know.

[37:10]It was two rats

[37:12]that she had as pets.

[37:13]Oh.

[37:13]That would be a bummer

[37:14]to bring into the quad.

[37:15]Oh.

[37:15]Yeah.

[37:16]But we still made out

[37:18]in the book.

[37:18]How did this,

[37:19]this is a JC situation

[37:21]where they just pulled up

[37:23]on the couch

[37:24]and just said,

[37:24]you know,

[37:25]my wife,

[37:25]well, yeah,

[37:26]it was basically,

[37:27]yeah,

[37:27]they had like a fifth bed

[37:28]in there.

[37:29]As you know,

[37:30]my wife famously

[37:31]had multiple roommates.

[37:32]Like she had like

[37:33]eight roommates

[37:34]her freshman year.

[37:35]I feel like Rob's

[37:36]definition of famous

[37:37]is different from mine,

[37:38]but okay.

[37:39]She,

[37:40]she,

[37:40]she,

[37:40]like she said,

[37:41]I got to move.

[37:42]This isn't going to work.

[37:43]Well,

[37:44]one of her roommates,

[37:45]to be fair,

[37:46]she broke up

[37:48]with her high school boyfriend

[37:49]and then her college roommate

[37:51]ended up marrying him

[37:53]and now has three kids with him.

[37:54]Oh.

[37:55]So this guy

[37:56]pulled off the impossible.

[37:57]The college,

[37:58]the college roommate switched.

[37:59]Yeah, I'm confused.

[38:00]Explain it

[38:01]in better,

[38:02]easier terms.

[38:02]Jenny has a high school.

[38:03]Like a collapse

[38:04]in Harrison situation.

[38:05]My wife has a high school boyfriend.

[38:07]Yes.

[38:08]Dumb as shit.

[38:09]Okay.

[38:10]Yeah.

[38:10]Barely can even squat.

[38:12]He only squats like 650 pounds.

[38:14]Now,

[38:14]Jenny breaks up with him.

[38:18]She breaks up

[38:18]with the high school boyfriend.

[38:19]Yep.

[38:20]He calls every night.

[38:21]Please,

[38:22]please take me back.

[38:24]I need you back.

[38:25]Okay.

[38:26]You're so busty.

[38:27]I assume that's what I would say.

[38:29]I don't know.

[38:29]Want you back for good.

[38:31]Oh,

[38:32]so every night

[38:33]Sukiaki,

[38:34]Sukiaki 4 p.m.

[38:35]So every night he calls

[38:37]the roommate.

[38:38]He plays Sukiaki 4 p.m.

[38:39]The roommate picks up.

[38:40]The roommate picks up the phone.

[38:42]They start chatting.

[38:43]They start chatting.

[38:45]They are now currently married.

[38:48]So her high school boyfriend

[38:51]married her first.

[38:52]Yes.

[38:53]College roommate.

[38:54]De La Soul

[38:57]quotes this a bunch.

[38:59]Not this,

[39:00]not this song,

[39:01]but the

[39:01]this is a banger.

[39:05]The good one.

[39:06]So yeah,

[39:08]now

[39:09]I can't be your lover.

[39:10]I'm going to invoke

[39:12]my second time

[39:13]where I ask a question.

[39:14]You guys have to answer it.

[39:15]I'm going to use up

[39:16]my next 250 episodes today.

[39:17]Would you have wanted to marry

[39:20]any of your wife's roommates?

[39:22]What?

[39:24]I've never met

[39:25]any of my wife's roommates.

[39:26]And no.

[39:27]Oh,

[39:27]nice.

[39:28]Older marriage.

[39:30]Older marriage.

[39:32]You met your wife

[39:33]when she didn't have roommates?

[39:34]Yeah.

[39:35]Damn,

[39:36]you guys are old.

[39:37]Damn.

[39:38]Damn.

[39:40]Damn.

[39:41]I'm going to say yes.

[39:44]Matt,

[39:45]what would you say?

[39:45]I don't know if I'm

[39:48]in any roommates.

[39:49]Rob,

[39:49]what if something went wrong

[39:51]and you

[39:51]something went wrong

[39:52]with those other couple

[39:53]and you ended up

[39:54]Matt,

[39:55]you're thinking of

[39:56]Robbie Williams back

[39:57]with the same roommate.

[39:58]Yeah,

[39:59]I'm trying to look it up.

[40:00]Oh my God.

[40:00]Maybe it was take five

[40:02]or take six.

[40:03]No,

[40:04]this is it.

[40:04]It's Tsukiaki 4pm.

[40:06]Russell,

[40:07]you're saying that right now.

[40:08]It's in there.

[40:08]There's two conversations

[40:10]going on.

[40:10]We got it.

[40:11]So because

[40:12]Russell,

[40:12]you're saying that right now.

[40:13]We'll find it.

[40:14]This old roommate,

[40:16]something goes wrong.

[40:17]I go in to comfort her.

[40:18]What?

[40:18]Now I marry her.

[40:20]Why did you shut the song off?

[40:20]Yeah,

[40:21]we were enjoying it

[40:21]because we're talking about me

[40:22]now marrying the old roommate again.

[40:24]But you established

[40:26]two weeks ago

[40:27]that you're not going to marry

[40:28]someone else's flame.

[40:29]You're only going to have sex

[40:30]with them.

[40:31]Great point.

[40:33]I almost fell into

[40:33]my own trap there.

[40:34]Wow.

[40:35]Russell,

[40:36]rolling going.

[40:36]How's it going with you?

[40:37]Rolling going.

[40:38]It's not like Socrates

[40:40]and,

[40:40]you know,

[40:42]Geordie and not.

[40:43]We're listening to Russell.

[40:45]I went to a record store

[40:50]last week.

[40:50]I went to Chippo Records,

[40:51]Rob.

[40:52]What's Chippo?

[40:53]Why don't all you people

[40:54]talking about

[40:55]4 p.m.

[40:56]Sudiaki

[40:57]keep the noise down

[40:58]while I take my robot

[41:00]and tell you all

[41:01]about what a real man

[41:02]buys at a record store.

[41:04]Hit the music,

[41:05]Rob.

[41:05]What is that?

[41:07]I got this one.

[41:10]Hit the music.

[41:10]Hit the music.

[41:10]There we go.

[41:12]Do you hear that?

[41:13]It's time.

[41:16]Oh my gosh.

[41:17]Do you think anybody else

[41:18]has ever gone from

[41:19]Sukiyaki 4 p.m.

[41:20]to Ravishing Rick Rude

[41:22]like Russell just did?

[41:23]Nope.

[41:25]We are the number one podcast

[41:28]for talking about

[41:29]Sukiyaki 4 p.m.

[41:30]and

[41:30]Ravishing Rick Rude.

[41:31]What's your guys' podcast about?

[41:32]Oh, we have this funny

[41:33]running bit.

[41:34]And we talk about

[41:37]this guy's health insurance.

[41:40]It's pretty funny.

[41:41]So I go to

[41:44]Cheapo Records

[41:45]in downtown Minneapolis

[41:46]and I go,

[41:48]Matt,

[41:48]maybe you can describe

[41:49]where that one's at.

[41:50]Downtown Minneapolis?

[41:51]Right south of downtown,

[41:53]right?

[41:53]In Uptown?

[41:54]Is it the Uptown one?

[41:56]That sounds about right to me.

[41:57]Depends how you're

[41:59]holding the map.

[41:59]The one right off of?

[42:02]The thing is,

[42:02]Russell's in the front seat

[42:03]of the car

[42:04]looking into the backseat.

[42:05]The only cheap I know

[42:07]is off of like

[42:08]Irving.

[42:09]It's like off of

[42:09]off Nicollet Avenue.

[42:11]Nicollet?

[42:12]Nicollet and 26th,

[42:14]actually.

[42:14]I don't know that.

[42:15]Right over by Eat Street.

[42:16]It's a big.

[42:17]Oh, yeah.

[42:18]It's right across

[42:19]Luna and the Bear.

[42:20]It's right across

[42:21]from Luna and the Bear.

[42:22]It's right across

[42:22]from Luna and the Bear,

[42:23]which we had dinner at

[42:24]with Rob.

[42:24]It was the one where

[42:25]Rob was kind of aggro

[42:27]and tried to pick up

[42:27]the tab on us,

[42:28]if I remember right.

[42:29]No, he didn't.

[42:31]He didn't offer to pay for shit.

[42:32]If picking up

[42:34]the tab is wrong,

[42:36]I don't want to be right.

[42:37]You better lock me up

[42:38]and throw away the keys.

[42:39]We've talked once before.

[42:40]The reason I like

[42:41]this record store

[42:42]is they've got

[42:43]in the back corner,

[42:44]they have stacks,

[42:45]probably,

[42:45]I'd say 500 records

[42:47]Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

[42:48]They've got every day

[42:49]for Monday, Tuesday,

[42:50]Thursday, Wednesday.

[42:51]Every record.

[42:52]All the used ones

[42:54]that came in every day, right?

[42:55]Saturday.

[42:56]It's a Saturday.

[42:57]S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y.

[42:59]Night.

[43:00]Night.

[43:00]So eventually,

[43:01]we're walking through

[43:02]and I've decided

[43:03]I've got a new rule.

[43:04]I've got my new record player.

[43:06]I've been listening to stuff.

[43:07]Yep.

[43:07]I'm only buying stuff

[43:09]if it's on the top 500 list

[43:11]from now on.

[43:11]That's all I'm buying

[43:12]with records.

[43:13]All right.

[43:13]I like it.

[43:13]And so a few of them

[43:15]popped out to me.

[43:16]I told you guys last week

[43:17]I did pick up

[43:17]Queen and Night at the Opera,

[43:18]which was fantastic.

[43:20]I decided to pick this one out.

[43:22]I know I don't think

[43:23]it was one of Matt's favorites,

[43:24]but if you're a top five album

[43:26]on the list,

[43:26]I've got to have

[43:27]Joni Mitchell, Blue.

[43:29]Got to have Blue.

[43:30]Yeah.

[43:30]Great album.

[43:31]Got to have Blue.

[43:31]It's really good.

[43:32]I got to tell you,

[43:32]Russell,

[43:33]can I cut you off real quick?

[43:34]Please.

[43:34]I have been listening

[43:36]to a lot of,

[43:39]tragically hip,

[43:40]I've been listening

[43:41]to a lot of Joni Mitchell,

[43:43]I've listened to a lot of

[43:44]Neil Young.

[43:46]There's just this

[43:48]different rhythm

[43:49]to the Canadian artists,

[43:50]right?

[43:51]And I'm trying to figure out

[43:52]what it is

[43:53]because I remember

[43:54]I keep telling you

[43:54]that Joni Mitchell,

[43:56]like I just don't,

[43:56]the ups and the downs

[43:58]and the ups and the rights,

[43:59]like the tragically hip

[44:00]are the exact same way.

[44:02]And they're an awesome band

[44:03]and it's just

[44:05]completely different

[44:06]than what I'm trying

[44:07]to figure it out.

[44:08]But I'm,

[44:09]I'm,

[44:09]I'm coming around to it

[44:10]because I'm kind of trying

[44:10]to finally pick up

[44:12]the rhythm

[44:12]and how it goes, so.

[44:13]Can I say that

[44:14]when I did my parody song

[44:15]of the wreck

[44:16]of the Edmund Fitzgerald,

[44:18]there was some weird

[44:19]timing stuff

[44:20]in that song too

[44:20]that I had to get used to

[44:21]and that's another

[44:22]Canadian guy.

[44:23]Yeah.

[44:24]All right,

[44:25]we digress.

[44:26]I like this.

[44:27]I'd like to explore it further.

[44:28]But I will say,

[44:29]my new thing is

[44:30]now that the record player

[44:31]actually works,

[44:32]it's fun to listen to.

[44:33]So when I come home now,

[44:34]I try to avoid the TV

[44:35]and go back

[44:36]to the record area

[44:37]and throw it on

[44:38]Joni Mitchell

[44:39]for like a relaxing evening

[44:40]is a great listen.

[44:41]So I already listened to it,

[44:43]loved it.

[44:44]I'm glad I own it.

[44:44]The last time I put

[44:45]Joni Mitchell on,

[44:46]we ended up listening

[44:47]to it twice through.

[44:48]It's like,

[44:48]oh,

[44:49]just flip it over

[44:49]and play it again.

[44:50]It's great.

[44:50]Run it back.

[44:52]I also picked up one.

[44:53]I gotta,

[44:53]I gotta show the record store guy

[44:55]that I'm kind of

[44:55]a cool music guy.

[44:57]We've talked about this one.

[44:58]Now,

[44:59]what's it?

[44:59]It's Wilco Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

[45:01]I picked it up.

[45:02]There you go.

[45:03]Picked it up.

[45:03]Wow, Russell.

[45:04]That's right after.

[45:05]You know what?

[45:06]That is,

[45:07]there is a certain

[45:08]faction of the population

[45:09]that if they come over

[45:11]to your house

[45:11]and see that you have that,

[45:12]they are going to think

[45:13]you are a fucking man.

[45:15]True.

[45:15]You know,

[45:16]that is a college vibe album.

[45:18]That is a,

[45:19]I know what the hell

[45:21]I'm talking about.

[45:22]An NPR journalist album.

[45:23]Yep.

[45:24]Yep.

[45:25]The other one,

[45:25]if Aaron ever comes over

[45:27]and stops by,

[45:27]he will think I'm the man

[45:29]when he sees this one.

[45:29]The last one I picked up,

[45:30]Nas Illmatic.

[45:32]Oh, yeah.

[45:33]Wow.

[45:34]I don't know.

[45:35]That could be on repeat

[45:36]for a while.

[45:37]I thought that was

[45:38]a pretty good haul.

[45:39]What do you guys think?

[45:39]That's a pretty good haul.

[45:41]Russell,

[45:41]I am concerned

[45:42]that the record store now,

[45:45]if you're just doing

[45:45]the top 500,

[45:46]that we're not going to get

[45:47]any more perverted albums

[45:49]because of course,

[45:49]one of your rules

[45:50]for buying an album

[45:50]was what was the most perverted.

[45:52]So,

[45:52]two,

[45:53]I saw the two most perverted

[45:55]things in a record store

[45:56]I've ever seen.

[45:57]And we're going to have

[45:59]to have some bleeps, Rob.

[46:00]And there's,

[46:00]I either cut out

[46:02]the whole section

[46:02]or you got to bleep

[46:03]like I asked you to.

[46:04]I know,

[46:05]but here's the problem.

[46:06]Can I just say,

[46:06]I'm going to say this.

[46:07]Yeah.

[46:07]Sometimes you ask me

[46:09]to bleep so many words

[46:10]that it sounds like

[46:11]we're saying really,

[46:12]really bad stuff.

[46:14]That's part of the bit.

[46:15]When there's a lot of bleeps,

[46:16]it's not because we're like,

[46:17]because we're like,

[46:18]we beep,

[46:19]and then that took our beep

[46:21]and it went like beep

[46:22]and we're,

[46:22]it just sounds terrible.

[46:24]All right.

[46:25]All right.

[46:25]I will beep it, Russell.

[46:26]All those,

[46:27]all those East St. Paul guys

[46:28]and their sicko mind.

[46:29]They just want to know,

[46:30]right?

[46:30]They're just,

[46:31]they're going.

[46:31]So this record store

[46:33]has got everything.

[46:34]It's in different sections.

[46:35]They got pop, rock,

[46:36]sometimes it's hard

[46:37]with record stores

[46:38]to tell what's new,

[46:39]what's used.

[46:40]Sometimes they're very separate

[46:41]and sometimes they've kind of

[46:42]got them,

[46:43]you know,

[46:44]all stacked together.

[46:45]But this one,

[46:45]I was going through

[46:46]the C section

[46:47]and I actually sent you guys

[46:49]a picture of this,

[46:50]I believe.

[46:51]Aaron,

[46:51]what was the name

[46:53]of that band that I saw?

[46:54]Oh,

[46:54]come on.

[46:55]No, no.

[46:55]What do you mean?

[46:57]It was the

[46:58]See You Next Tuesdays.

[46:59]Yes,

[47:00]it was the See You Next,

[47:01]wow.

[47:01]How can a record store

[47:03]have a record with that

[47:04]as a bad name

[47:05]in the store?

[47:05]And it was right there

[47:06]on the list.

[47:06]It was unbelievable.

[47:07]It was like,

[47:07]right,

[47:07]it was not just like,

[47:08]oh,

[47:08]there's a record in here

[47:09]and the C section.

[47:10]We got to play it.

[47:11]We got to play a song,

[47:12]right?

[47:12]Yeah,

[47:14]I'm not saying it out loud.

[47:14]So the See You Next Tuesdays,

[47:17]okay,

[47:18]here's their song,

[47:18]Heroes Welcome.

[47:19]Oh,

[47:21]fuck yeah.

[47:21]This is,

[47:23]they are

[47:24]a Chicago punk band.

[47:28]CM Punk,

[47:30]CM Punk.

[47:31]Yes.

[47:32]Yeah.

[47:32]It might be the longest running

[47:35]along with a ska fish,

[47:36]of course.

[47:36]Punk garage bands

[47:37]in Chicago.

[47:38]They've released

[47:39]a ton of records

[47:40]from the late 70s

[47:41]into the 21st century.

[47:42]Okay.

[47:43]I mean,

[47:45]this is their whole Wikipedia.

[47:47]They most frequently play

[47:49]the Spaceport Lounge.

[47:50]That's pretty much it.

[47:51]Where's,

[47:53]click on the Spaceport Lounge.

[47:55]Let's see.

[47:55]Let's see where it is.

[47:56]It's on the South Side Bar.

[47:58]What if he shows in the 80s?

[48:00]There's a regular hangout

[48:01]for the CUNT.

[48:02]So it feels like

[48:02]the one guy is writing

[48:03]all these.

[48:04]Yeah,

[48:04]it feels like the same person.

[48:05]Yeah.

[48:05]So Russell,

[48:06]it's a little circular.

[48:07]If I eat

[48:09]two salmon skins,

[48:10]will you go back

[48:11]and buy this album?

[48:12]No,

[48:14]it was too much.

[48:15]And there was one more

[48:16]that was actually

[48:16]too much for me too.

[48:17]Oh,

[48:18]can I just,

[48:18]oh,

[48:18]I got to edit this out,

[48:20]but do you see

[48:21]what this album cover is?

[48:22]Oh,

[48:24]you see what it is?

[48:25]Oh,

[48:26]whoa.

[48:26]That's crazy.

[48:28]But you want to describe

[48:29]that or not?

[48:29]Nope.

[48:30]That's crazy.

[48:30]Okay.

[48:31]That's crazy.

[48:33]That's the craziest

[48:34]album cover I've ever seen.

[48:35]Wow.

[48:36]So,

[48:36]do not search us

[48:38]on your family computer,

[48:38]folks.

[48:39]You thought that was

[48:40]the craziest.

[48:41]This one is,

[48:42]I'm going to say

[48:43]10x crazier.

[48:45]Okay.

[48:45]So,

[48:48]this one is just

[48:49]in the very front.

[48:50]You were walking

[48:52]through one of the aisles.

[48:53]This is in the very front.

[48:54]I didn't even send

[48:55]this to you guys

[48:56]because I was like,

[48:56]oh,

[48:57]you never know.

[48:57]Maybe one of your kids

[48:58]is playing with

[48:58]one of your phones.

[48:59]I'm not sending this over,

[49:00]right?

[49:00]No,

[49:01]I'll just tell you right now.

[49:02]No,

[49:02]I'm going to hold this up

[49:04]and then if you can't see it,

[49:05]I'll explain to you.

[49:06]Can you see that?

[49:08]Yep.

[49:09]There's essentially

[49:10]a naked woman

[49:10]sitting on the front

[49:11]and the title is called,

[49:13]yeah,

[49:13]what's it called?

[49:14]My P word belongs to daddy.

[49:16]Oh.

[49:17]Various artists.

[49:24]Oh,

[49:24]it's a compilation.

[49:26]It is a compilation.

[49:27]Oh.

[49:29]Okay.

[49:32]So,

[49:33]Rob,

[49:33]I'm going to let you

[49:34]go through the song list

[49:35]because I do not want

[49:35]to repeat this.

[49:36]But maybe we can do this.

[49:37]So,

[49:37]first of all,

[49:38]we need to turn this off.

[49:40]Do not look at this album

[49:41]cover at work.

[49:42]Okay?

[49:43]This,

[49:44]wait a minute,

[49:44]Papa Bad just came up.

[49:45]Get out of here.

[49:46]This is a

[49:48]naked woman

[49:49]holding a cat.

[49:51]Yeah.

[49:51]Yeah.

[49:52]And I,

[49:53]it's,

[49:54]so my P word belongs to daddy

[49:57]is the first song.

[49:58]So they do have the,

[49:58]and I hate to say it,

[49:59]Aaron,

[49:59]but they do have the

[50:01]titular track

[50:01]to start this out.

[50:03]Okay.

[50:04]Then the second song.

[50:06]Daddy still got the rag on.

[50:10]Oh,

[50:10]what?

[50:11]Now I'm assuming

[50:12]that's a ragtime music song

[50:14]and that's why it's called that,

[50:15]but we'll have to find out.

[50:16]I want a man.

[50:17]If it wasn't for the second track,

[50:19]I maybe wouldn't have been willing

[50:20]to put this up on the stack.

[50:22]Does it tell us the artists?

[50:24]Well,

[50:24]what about this?

[50:25]They're on the right.

[50:26]You can see them on the other song.

[50:27]Oh,

[50:27]okay.

[50:28]Bye.

[50:28]Yeah.

[50:29]He forgot his rubbers.

[50:31]That's one of the songs.

[50:32]Okay.

[50:32]I got to admit,

[50:33]guys,

[50:33]I got to listen to

[50:35]he forgot his rubbers.

[50:36]Okay.

[50:37]He forgot his rubbers.

[50:40]Okay.

[50:40]So here it is.

[50:41]Okay.

[50:41]Oh,

[50:42]where your rubbers

[50:46]never get your feet wet.

[50:48]That is what the doctor

[50:50]said to Johnny Waters.

[50:52]What?

[50:53]But he hasn't learned

[50:54]to be discreet yet.

[50:55]He ignores his doctor's orders.

[50:59]Now,

[50:59]wait a minute.

[51:00]Sometimes doctors aren't clear.

[51:02]Yeah,

[51:02]this is a euphemism.

[51:03]You know what I mean?

[51:04]Sometimes definitely a dirty suck.

[51:05]Yeah.

[51:06]One night Johnny took a walk

[51:11]and he forgot his rubbers.

[51:14]That's two nuance.

[51:15]I get whether they're doing

[51:17]a double entendre

[51:18]with the rubbers.

[51:18]Oh,

[51:19]that's so good.

[51:19]Is that where Galosh is?

[51:21]Yeah,

[51:21]he's probably

[51:22]getting a clap.

[51:23]Now,

[51:24]the last two songs,

[51:25]Russell,

[51:25]I might have to play these

[51:28]at the end of the podcast.

[51:28]Things are soft.

[51:32]Things are soft for grandma

[51:35]since grandpa's 84.

[51:36]That's a weird song,

[51:41]isn't it?

[51:42]It's not just about

[51:42]your grandpa's impotence,

[51:43]but it's also about

[51:44]your grandma's lack

[51:45]of intimacy now.

[51:46]I mean,

[51:47]who wants to think about

[51:47]either one of those things?

[51:48]And then finally,

[51:50]of course,

[51:51]the last song,

[51:51]Tony's Got Hot Nuts.

[51:52]Now I got to say,

[51:53]I cannot wait to listen

[51:54]to Tony's Got Hot Nuts.

[51:55]We got to do it right now.

[51:56]Okay.

[51:58]But that's,

[51:59]it's another parody song,

[52:00]isn't it?

[52:00]It's like a joke song.

[52:01]Yeah,

[52:05]of course,

[52:06]there's going to be

[52:06]some more double entendres here.

[52:08]You got to buy this record.

[52:09]Double entendres.

[52:11]Tony bought himself

[52:13]a push cart.

[52:14]Okay.

[52:15]I get it.

[52:16]He started out to sell.

[52:18]What's she going to rhyme

[52:21]sell with?

[52:21]What do you guys think?

[52:23]I'm going to go with hell.

[52:25]Bell.

[52:26]Bell.

[52:26]Bell.

[52:27]No,

[52:28]shell.

[52:29]Shell.

[52:30]It's so obvious.

[52:30]He was loaded down

[52:33]with peanuts.

[52:34]Oh, yeah.

[52:35]And here's what

[52:36]I know.

[52:36]I heard him,

[52:38]yes.

[52:38]Oh, yo.

[52:40]I've got

[52:41]hot nuts.

[52:43]All right.

[52:44]So I think that we are

[52:45]good to go

[52:46]with that one.

[52:48]Tony's Got Hot Nuts.

[52:49]Russell,

[52:50]I kind of want to talk to you

[52:52]about your record player more.

[52:53]I know I've criticized

[52:54]in the past,

[52:54]but I'm starting to see

[52:55]good things.

[52:56]Now,

[52:57]I hate to even say this,

[52:58]Russell,

[52:59]but you know what band

[52:59]is on the top

[53:00]500 list?

[53:02]Let's hear it.

[53:03]The Slits.

[53:04]I saw that one.

[53:06]They are also naked

[53:08]on their album cover.

[53:09]That album is in the top 500.

[53:11]So, Russell,

[53:11]at some point,

[53:12]you are going to have

[53:12]to go purchase that.

[53:13]I felt like the cover

[53:14]of this one that we looked at

[53:16]was not tastefully done.

[53:17]So I decided to pass by it

[53:19]and not turn it in

[53:21]and purchase.

[53:21]All nude.

[53:22]You're so strong, Russell.

[53:24]You're so strong.

[53:25]Definitely.

[53:25]All nude.

[53:27]You guys hear about Tony?

[53:29]He's got hot nuts.

[53:32]He likes to yell.

[53:33]Oh.

[53:34]I got hot nuts.

[53:36]Let's talk about the album.

[53:37]Oh, yeah.

[53:38]I got to say,

[53:40]if you did sell nuts.

[53:40]That seems like

[53:42]the sort of thing

[53:42]that these guys

[53:43]might have grabbed

[53:43]for a skit

[53:44]in this album.

[53:45]It's a good segue.

[53:46]We've got De La Soul.

[53:48]I noticed

[53:50]you're missing a record

[53:52]back in that section.

[53:53]It was

[53:54]My P Belongs to Daddy.

[53:56]Is that still available?

[53:58]Can I special order it?

[54:00]Do we have any more

[54:03]inventory in the back?

[54:04]There's an album,

[54:05]but the album

[54:06]that I want,

[54:06]but I want to write it down.

[54:07]I don't want to say it out loud.

[54:08]It also feels like,

[54:10]you know,

[54:11]like everybody knows

[54:13]it's some like cult following.

[54:14]So like as a record store,

[54:15]you just have to have a copy

[54:17]of that at all times.

[54:18]Right.

[54:18]And so here's the question.

[54:20]Obviously,

[54:20]people are giving these used

[54:22]like this.

[54:22]If this is in your collection,

[54:24]are you walking in there

[54:25]to the record

[54:26]and be like,

[54:26]what do you give me for it?

[54:28]Like,

[54:29]what are you taking for it?

[54:30]Five cents?

[54:30]25 cents?

[54:32]I'm guessing it's like a bulk sale

[54:33]and yeah,

[54:34]they're buying 50 cents

[54:35]to a buck

[54:35]and what do they say?

[54:35]Are they selling it

[54:36]for five bucks?

[54:37]What was the...

[54:38]I'll see if I've got

[54:39]the price on there, man.

[54:40]That's the kind of thing

[54:42]that where if you found it

[54:43]like at your parents' place,

[54:44]it would kind of bum you out.

[54:45]$39.99.

[54:47]$39.99.

[54:48]$40 for that one.

[54:50]$40 bucks?

[54:51]Oh.

[54:51]Oh, no.

[54:54]Rob,

[54:54]look on eBay quick.

[54:55]See how much...

[54:56]Okay.

[54:56]What's it called again?

[54:57]My P word belongs to Dan.

[55:01]Oh, that's right.

[55:02]Oh,

[55:04]so we know

[55:05]what that is now.

[55:06]It's got to be about a cat,

[55:07]right?

[55:08]Yep.

[55:09]I don't want to listen to it

[55:11]and I got to say.

[55:12]So the original motto

[55:15]is $300.

[55:15]Oh, wow.

[55:17]That's just what

[55:18]people are listing.

[55:18]$64, $35,

[55:19]$20, $76,

[55:20]$30, $43.

[55:22]This is a collector's item, Russell.

[55:23]You got to run back

[55:23]and get...

[55:24]This is an investment opportunity.

[55:25]Russell's like,

[55:26]no dollar what's out there.

[55:28]You're stupid

[55:28]to not buy this album

[55:29]at that price.

[55:30]Rob,

[55:31]if we were to buy it

[55:33]and sell it on eBay,

[55:33]it would be the first profit

[55:35]we've made on this.

[55:35]This podcast.

[55:36]Listen.

[55:40]Well, you know,

[55:41]there was that guy on here

[55:42]that told the future.

[55:43]What's that?

[55:45]Well, that was one of the profits

[55:47]on the podcast.

[55:48]I get it.

[55:52]Well, it didn't seem like it

[55:54]because nobody laughed.

[55:55]De La Soul, of course,

[55:57]is out on their

[55:59]Long Island group of guys.

[56:00]This is their second album

[56:02]after...

[56:05]Yeah, Three Feet Rising.

[56:07]And basically...

[56:08]That first one was so good.

[56:09]Yeah.

[56:09]And basically,

[56:10]that first one,

[56:11]they're young guys.

[56:12]They're fun.

[56:13]They're kind of known as comics.

[56:14]They're kind of known as hippies.

[56:15]They kind of have these fun songs

[56:18]and they absolutely

[56:19]are disgusted by it.

[56:21]They want nothing to do

[56:22]with that image.

[56:23]They now basically say,

[56:25]we're getting a little bit darker

[56:26]on this album,

[56:27]but this is kind of

[56:28]what we're reflecting.

[56:28]Now they're getting...

[56:30]They're so famous

[56:30]that they're getting harassed.

[56:32]I mean, there's just a song

[56:32]on this album

[56:33]that's just about,

[56:33]please don't bring me

[56:35]your demo tape.

[56:35]I don't want to hear it.

[56:36]Don't give it to me.

[56:37]I don't want to listen to it.

[56:38]And basically,

[56:39]we've got...

[56:41]Can you say the names, Aaron?

[56:43]Pose, Nose...

[56:44]Postinus,

[56:44]Maceo,

[56:46]Dave,

[56:47]Trugoy the Dove.

[56:48]And with the same producers

[56:50]of the last album,

[56:51]Prince Paul.

[56:52]Prince Paul, yeah.

[56:52]And Prince Paul said,

[56:54]listen,

[56:54]it wasn't that the album

[56:56]was darker.

[56:56]He said, quote,

[56:57]we were trying to prove

[56:58]that it wasn't just

[56:58]a one-album act.

[56:59]There's a lot of disillusionment

[57:01]with the music industry

[57:02]because remember,

[57:03]this album's coming out

[57:04]in 1991.

[57:05]One.

[57:06]91, 91,

[57:07]90, 90, 91, 91.

[57:09]Yeah, I've been trying

[57:09]to figure out who they're...

[57:10]They're really mad

[57:11]at rap,

[57:12]other rappers

[57:13]and the rap industry.

[57:14]And I don't...

[57:15]At 91,

[57:16]I don't know for sure

[57:16]who they're mad at yet

[57:17]because this is like

[57:18]free mace and puffy.

[57:19]So I don't know

[57:19]what their big beef is.

[57:20]NWA,

[57:21]Lesco stuff?

[57:22]Okay, yeah, probably.

[57:23]But what was happening...

[57:25]We talked about it

[57:26]on the last episode,

[57:27]but what was happening

[57:27]in 91 is the Turtles

[57:29]were suing them

[57:30]for sampling, right?

[57:32]So they're right

[57:33]in the middle of this.

[57:33]I never heard this

[57:35]until,

[57:35]a year ago,

[57:36]two years ago, maybe.

[57:37]Yeah, and now

[57:38]they're actually all out.

[57:39]They must have...

[57:40]You know what?

[57:41]There's something great

[57:41]about huge conglomerates

[57:43]holding all the music

[57:44]where they can just

[57:45]license things to themselves

[57:46]because now all of a sudden

[57:47]we can listen to this album.

[57:48]It's on Amazon Music.

[57:49]When we did the first album,

[57:50]we couldn't listen to it anywhere.

[57:51]And so,

[57:54]basically,

[57:55]let's get into...

[57:58]I don't really have

[57:58]much else to say.

[57:59]I mean, what else

[57:59]is there, Aaron, about this?

[58:00]It's a huge album.

[58:01]It's a big, long, double album.

[58:02]There's lots of skits,

[58:04]which I'm going to kind of

[58:05]go through really

[58:05]fast, but...

[58:06]What do we say about

[58:07]De La Soul is Dead?

[58:08]I mean, they wanted to say

[58:09]we're reinventing ourselves.

[58:10]That's why De La Soul is dead.

[58:12]I'd say it's a pretty bold

[58:13]and introspective shift

[58:14]in the group's sound

[58:15]and thematic direction.

[58:16]Wow.

[58:17]That's impressive.

[58:18]That's a really smart

[58:20]thing to say.

[58:21]De La Soul...

[58:22]Chad GPT can say

[58:23]about three or four

[58:24]more paragraphs

[58:25]of smart stuff

[58:25]if you want, man.

[58:26]I mean, we'll listen to it.

[58:27]I think there's a cynicism

[58:29]here that hasn't aged well,

[58:30]that doesn't suit them

[58:31]all that well.

[58:32]Man has a thought, though.

[58:33]Nope.

[58:35]Just scratched me.

[58:35]Just scratched my ear.

[58:36]All right.

[58:36]Russell, I will say

[58:38]I used to use Chad GPT

[58:39]to do research

[58:40]for the albums

[58:41]and it would give me

[58:42]Grammy wins

[58:43]for Grammys

[58:44]that didn't exist that year.

[58:45]It's crazy.

[58:45]You know what?

[58:46]We've got a list coming up

[58:47]and I did a search

[58:47]for something to see if...

[58:49]Oh, maybe I can find it

[58:50]this way.

[58:50]And it gave me 20 answers.

[58:53]I Googled about 10 of them

[58:55]and they were all incorrect.

[58:56]It's crazy.

[58:57]Yeah.

[58:58]The world we're living in now.

[58:59]But I will say, guys,

[59:00]that my Instagram now,

[59:02]I can't even look at it

[59:04]at school.

[59:04]All the suggestions

[59:05]and videos they give me

[59:06]are AI women

[59:07]kissing each other.

[59:08]It knows what I want to watch

[59:12]so bad.

[59:13]Instagram has got me down.

[59:16]I'm still seeing

[59:18]the busty women

[59:18]in the office area,

[59:19]which I know you just love

[59:20]the concept of.

[59:21]The internet is so great to me.

[59:24]Intro.

[59:25]So the physical releases

[59:31]of this album

[59:32]actually included

[59:33]a storybook

[59:34]with all the skit lyrics.

[59:35]With an actual page

[59:37]that you could turn

[59:37]when they did the beep sounds.

[59:39]That means turn the page.

[59:40]With illustrations, too.

[59:41]That's kind of cool.

[59:42]That's actually like,

[59:43]that feels like

[59:44]the Parliament Funkadelic lineage.

[59:45]This idea that an album

[59:46]is more than just

[59:47]what you're listening to.

[59:48]That all of the packaging

[59:49]and everything that goes with it

[59:51]matters.

[59:51]100%.

[59:52]Hot take?

[59:53]Yes.

[59:54]I wanted to turn it off

[59:56]on the skit number one.

[59:57]I feel that.

[59:58]There's some moments

[59:59]on this album

[60:00]that are not fun to listen to.

[60:01]Why is it, do you think?

[60:03]Well, the skits are good.

[60:05]The skits are too long.

[60:06]And I mean,

[60:07]in some of them,

[60:08]there might be inside jokes

[60:09]or I'm not sure.

[60:10]Like there's,

[60:11]and I think,

[60:11]I think,

[60:12]that's what I think.

[60:12]I think,

[60:12]yeah, go ahead.

[60:14]I think they're testing their audience.

[60:15]I think they're putting stuff on there

[60:17]that's deliberately hard to listen to

[60:18]because they're like,

[60:19]let's see if you're really

[60:20]going to sit through this

[60:21]to hear stuff like

[60:22]Biddies in the BK Lounge

[60:23]or

[60:24]when you put a pistol

[60:26]on Santa Claus.

[60:27]Sorry, Matt.

[60:27]Go ahead.

[60:27]I was just saying,

[60:29]I think the skits get into like

[60:30]either inside jokes

[60:31]or, you know,

[60:33]it's funny to them

[60:34]or people around them

[60:35]and stuff like that.

[60:35]It just doesn't like travel

[60:37]across the country,

[60:38]maybe.

[60:39]But I will say

[60:40]when you hit some of these songs,

[60:41]would they have the real hooks?

[60:42]Yeah, fuck yeah.

[60:43]Oh, there's great songs out here.

[60:44]Are you out of breath?

[60:46]Are you okay?

[60:46]Yeah.

[60:47]My cardiologist said

[60:49]I maybe could do something

[60:49]if I wanted to.

[60:50]And I said,

[60:50]oh, maybe I will.

[60:51]Oodles of O's.

[60:52]Every line of the song

[60:54]ends with the vowel sound O.

[60:55]I think this stuff's

[61:02]pretty fun, right?

[61:04]It's like kind of,

[61:05]I think I've had this concept.

[61:07]It's pretty, pretty cool.

[61:08]And I think basically

[61:09]if you're like,

[61:10]this song could have been on

[61:11]Three Feet Rising or whatever.

[61:13]It's a good song.

[61:15]Like it's a jazzy,

[61:16]you know,

[61:17]this jazzy rap sound

[61:18]is so fun to hear.

[61:19]The drums all the way

[61:23]through this album,

[61:23]on the songs

[61:24]where there is rapping

[61:25]and there are beats,

[61:26]the drums are really,

[61:27]the drum samples are great.

[61:29]All the samples are great.

[61:30]It's a good sound.

[61:32]But you build long stretches

[61:33]where you're like,

[61:33]can we just hear them rap

[61:34]and hear some good beats?

[61:35]If you remember,

[61:37]they were doing,

[61:38]they had a new kind of sampler

[61:39]at the time.

[61:40]And what was it?

[61:42]I can't remember.

[61:42]I talked about it

[61:42]on the last episode.

[61:43]Talking about Hey Love.

[61:45]Yeah, I mean,

[61:47]this is fun, you know?

[61:48]Yeah.

[61:49]Do you think you could take this

[61:52]and delete the skits?

[61:53]Yeah, again,

[61:54]does this need to be

[61:56]a double album?

[61:56]I'm just going to say it again

[61:57]just because you know

[61:58]it's my saw that I saw.

[62:00]What is this sample?

[62:01]This is on something else.

[62:03]That's a really fun game

[62:05]to play.

[62:05]You've got to listen

[62:05]to this whole thing, right?

[62:06]It's like, I've heard that before.

[62:07]Where'd it come from?

[62:08]It's the sampling on this

[62:10]is crazy.

[62:11]Pease Porridge.

[62:12]We've already talked about

[62:13]Pease Porridge.

[62:13]The jazz sound of this

[62:19]is so good.

[62:20]This is like the sound

[62:21]that people go back

[62:22]to DLSL for.

[62:23]Like, this is the sound

[62:25]that people want to hear,

[62:25]I think.

[62:26]Can we go back

[62:32]to number three really quick?

[62:33]I know we're going to.

[62:33]What's the song?

[62:35]Crazy?

[62:35]When I'm Falling in Love.

[62:36]It's a newer one.

[62:37]God.

[62:38]Hold on.

[62:41]This is going to drive me nuts.

[62:42]Skit one.

[62:43]I'm just going to skip.

[62:44]Johnny's Dead,

[62:46]a.k.a. Vincent Mason.

[62:48]Oh, yeah.

[62:49]This is just them

[62:50]dicking around on the piano.

[62:51]Yeah, this is unlistenable.

[62:54]And then you're like,

[62:55]ugh, I don't want to listen

[62:56]to this anymore.

[62:57]And then you get to

[62:57]the second single.

[62:58]And it pulls you back in.

[63:00]A roller skating jam

[63:01]named Saturdays.

[63:02]It's Rust to Rush

[63:03]on Friday.

[63:03]Kick it up.

[63:04]Listen to the WRMS.

[63:05]So I got a little call

[63:06]from the main host, Rob.

[63:07]He wants a podcast.

[63:08]He okay.

[63:08]I say, hold up.

[63:09]Uh-uh.

[63:10]Nice.

[63:12]Russell, that's so good.

[63:13]Do you guys remember

[63:16]where it was?

[63:16]Let's see.

[63:17]In the only

[63:18]in the only

[63:19]fancy football league

[63:21]we had Saturday

[63:21]for a while.

[63:22]I'm sure they were named

[63:23]after

[63:24]this song.

[63:26]Kenny from Bloomington.

[63:27]100%.

[63:29]What was your guys'

[63:31]roller skating

[63:32]growing up?

[63:32]Oh,

[63:33]we had the Saints

[63:35]roller skating.

[63:35]We had a roller rink

[63:35]in Bloomington.

[63:36]Yeah.

[63:36]We'd go there for like

[63:38]school events

[63:40]and stuff like that.

[63:40]So it was fun.

[63:42]We had Skate North

[63:43]in Urbandale.

[63:44]We had Skateville

[63:46]in Burnsville.

[63:47]Yeah.

[63:48]Skateville right off there.

[63:49]Right off 13

[63:50]and 35 W

[63:51]right there.

[63:52]Right down by that

[63:53]high school that burned down

[63:54]and then they renamed

[63:55]their team from the Braves

[63:56]to the Blaze.

[63:58]Rochester, Minnesota.

[64:01]I cannot remember

[64:02]what our skating place

[64:03]was called.

[64:03]I enjoyed the skate rink

[64:04]when I was a kid

[64:05]and then I was like,

[64:05]and then when I worked

[64:06]with kids,

[64:06]taking them to the skate rink

[64:07]was not fun anymore.

[64:09]That's not a place,

[64:10]not a fun place

[64:10]to be chaperoning

[64:11]middle school kids.

[64:12]Here's what we can look at.

[64:14]I have a feeling

[64:15]I know how everyone's

[64:15]going to fall on this.

[64:16]I don't want to go

[64:18]to a skating rink

[64:19]because I,

[64:19]as a kid,

[64:20]I'm worried

[64:20]snow snowball dance.

[64:22]I'm going to be left

[64:23]by myself.

[64:24]I'm thinking,

[64:24]I think Rob's in my boat.

[64:26]He's going to be left

[64:26]by himself.

[64:27]Cold outside,

[64:28]but it's hot in here.

[64:29]I feel like it doesn't

[64:32]even dawn on Aaron and Matt.

[64:34]Oh, I might be by myself.

[64:35]This could be bad.

[64:36]I'm telling you,

[64:37]here's what I did

[64:38]every roller skating

[64:39]school trip we had.

[64:40]Going to the roller skating rink,

[64:42]do not even approach

[64:44]the people selling the skates.

[64:45]Go immediately to the arcade.

[64:46]My mom somehow knew

[64:49]this was going to be

[64:49]a stressful situation for me.

[64:50]Gave me 10 bucks.

[64:51]She took care of you on it.

[64:52]Well, all the girls

[64:54]are out there skating

[64:55]and I'll never forget

[64:56]because they had two giant die

[64:58]for some reason.

[64:58]I can't remember

[64:59]why they rolled the die.

[65:00]But I remember thinking,

[65:01]there's no way I could do that

[65:02]on roller skates.

[65:03]And sure enough,

[65:04]this year I'm chaperoning

[65:05]my skates

[65:05]on my own school's trip.

[65:06]We go to a place

[65:07]that has roller skating.

[65:08]So I have to put on the skates

[65:09]and go out there.

[65:10]And guess what?

[65:10]It's fucking terrifying.

[65:12]It's like you fall on concrete.

[65:14]It's really scary.

[65:15]Well, and some of the coolest

[65:17]old white guys

[65:20]and black guys

[65:21]are doing like those

[65:22]like synchronized

[65:23]roller skating things.

[65:25]They got some rhythm.

[65:27]Yeah, it's fun stuff.

[65:28]Rob, do you think

[65:29]your mom gave you extra money

[65:30]for the roller skating rink too?

[65:32]Because she thought

[65:33]you might not have anyone

[65:34]to skate with

[65:34]after you

[65:35]went to your college lab

[65:37]and you smeared poop

[65:39]all over a stick

[65:40]and then said like,

[65:41]hey, let's be lab partners.

[65:42]Russell, I thought

[65:44]it was going to work.

[65:44]Talk about your all-time backfires.

[65:46]Listen, we got

[65:47]bitties in the BK lounge.

[65:49]I'm going to skip.

[65:50]De La Soul skipped too.

[65:51]Dedication to the bitty.

[65:53]Wait, you're skipping

[65:53]bitties in the BK lounge?

[65:54]Well, no.

[65:56]Is that a song?

[65:56]This is not a song.

[65:57]That is so bizarre.

[65:59]It's back and forth.

[66:00]It's so hilarious.

[66:01]Yeah.

[66:01]The whole thing

[66:03]about the burgers.

[66:03]The lines of this are...

[66:05]If you want to look

[66:06]for funny lines,

[66:07]you've got to genius

[66:08]and do the lyrics on

[66:10]bitties in the BK lounge.

[66:12]It's all about

[66:13]Burger King spot.

[66:13]And it made me

[66:15]start wondering,

[66:15]what are the greatest

[66:17]lyrics ever

[66:18]in hip-hop songs

[66:19]about Burger King?

[66:20]We've got to live.

[66:21]Oh, my God.

[66:23]I cannot get to this

[66:24]fast enough.

[66:24]Oh, my God.

[66:26]Oh, wait.

[66:27]Wrong one.

[66:27]Wait, wait, wait, wait, no.

[66:28]Shit.

[66:29]Bitties in the BK lounge.

[66:32]I mean, we haven't

[66:32]listened to one of them,

[66:33]but Russell's going to get us

[66:34]more.

[66:35]This is a list

[66:37]of the greatest references

[66:38]to BK in hip-hop history.

[66:40]We were going to do

[66:40]best fast food restaurants.

[66:43]You know, you've got

[66:44]Intergalactic.

[66:45]I think there's a reference

[66:46]to, there's a Beastie Boys

[66:47]song in reference

[66:48]to like White Castle.

[66:49]There's a lot of good ones,

[66:50]but there's so many

[66:51]that are just BK.

[66:52]I'm not a Burger King guy.

[66:53]I don't know if you guys are.

[66:54]I used to work

[66:56]at the Menards in Richfield

[66:57]and there was a Burger King

[66:58]right next to it.

[66:59]Yes.

[66:59]All gone.

[67:01]Yeah, it's gone now.

[67:02]And so you used to go

[67:04]over there and get

[67:04]Burger King at lunch,

[67:06]you know, or on your break

[67:07]or whatever.

[67:07]I was a BK lunch guy

[67:09]in high school.

[67:09]I like to get four cheeseburgers

[67:11]instead of two doubles.

[67:11]I like the

[67:12]bread.

[67:14]You're a bread guy.

[67:16]I, Russell, I got to admit,

[67:18]I would get,

[67:19]there was a BK

[67:19]at my high school.

[67:20]I would get it for breakfast

[67:21]all the time.

[67:22]BK breakfast,

[67:23]that is deranged.

[67:24]I think their hash browns

[67:27]are better than

[67:27]McDonald's hash browns.

[67:29]That's fine,

[67:29]but their sandwiches

[67:30]are whack.

[67:30]They're better than McDonald's.

[67:31]I mean, I'm down with that.

[67:33]They were delicious.

[67:33]The sandwiches are

[67:34]what the hell?

[67:35]They would mess,

[67:37]I mean, they used to have,

[67:38]they had like the croissant

[67:39]which is right.

[67:40]They did weird stuff, yeah.

[67:41]And those things just

[67:42]messed with my stomach.

[67:43]They was not good.

[67:45]They tasted great,

[67:46]but they did not.

[67:47]Yeah, it was a,

[67:48]it was a rough couple hours.

[67:49]You're reacting the same way

[67:50]my cardiologist did

[67:51]when I told her about

[67:52]my BK breakfast.

[67:53]Maybe those fatty omega acids

[67:56]from that fish skin will help.

[67:58]Yep.

[67:58]Oh, it's gross.

[68:00]First song on the list.

[68:01]We talked about this

[68:02]on a list once,

[68:03]but we've never spent a lot

[68:04]of time on this song

[68:05]on this podcast.

[68:06]I don't believe

[68:08]it's the Humpty Dance.

[68:09]Oh, yeah,

[68:10]we've never played

[68:10]on this podcast.

[68:11]I'm skinny.

[68:12]It never stopped me

[68:13]from getting busy.

[68:14]I'm a freak.

[68:15]I like the girls

[68:16]with the boom.

[68:16]I once got busy

[68:17]in a Burger King bathroom.

[68:19]I'm clean.

[68:19]What a great song.

[68:21]They say I'm ugly,

[68:22]but I just don't fake it.

[68:23]What fast food bathroom

[68:25]would you want to get busy in?

[68:26]Only McDonald's.

[68:27]Which one would you pick?

[68:28]McDonald's are clean.

[68:29]McDonald's?

[68:29]They're so clean.

[68:30]I would say

[68:32]like Chick-fil-A now.

[68:33]I mean, they've got,

[68:34]I mean, they've got,

[68:34]there's so many people

[68:34]working at Chick-fil-A.

[68:35]Maybe that's,

[68:36]they gotta be clean.

[68:37]I gotta say,

[68:38]having a guy suck your dong

[68:39]at Chick-fil-A,

[68:39]that would send him a message.

[68:41]You know what I mean?

[68:42]Oh, jokes on you.

[68:45]Guy sucked me off

[68:46]in your bathroom.

[68:46]Sorry.

[68:47]Better open up

[68:51]on Sundays now.

[68:52]Oh.

[68:52]Yeah, exactly.

[68:53]Oh,

[68:55]what tastes good

[68:56]after getting sucked off?

[68:57]Some Polynesian sauce

[68:58]would be great

[68:58]on some of these donuts.

[68:59]I'd say it'd be spicy.

[69:02]You know what?

[69:04]I would say anywhere

[69:05]but a Taco John's.

[69:06]I think if you're getting busy

[69:07]in a Taco John's bathroom,

[69:09]things have been a little

[69:10]hard when you're like,

[69:11]I think a Hardee's.

[69:12]Oh, Hardee's.

[69:12]It's Hardee's.

[69:13]Hardee's is bad.

[69:14]The only reason you could

[69:15]maybe say Hardee's bad

[69:16]is there's probably

[69:17]a good chance

[69:18]no one else is even

[69:19]walking into that restaurant

[69:20]for an hour.

[69:21]Like you.

[69:21]I'm trying to think

[69:22]of the people that are,

[69:23]I'm trying to think about

[69:24]the clientele that is walking.

[69:25]I'm thinking like

[69:26]Gary from Burnsville

[69:27]is going to walk in.

[69:28]There's some toe tappers

[69:29]in there, aren't they?

[69:30]You know who it is?

[69:31]The clientele that's like,

[69:32]you know what I want

[69:33]for breakfast?

[69:33]Gravy.

[69:34]I want gravy

[69:36]on my breakfast

[69:37]and there's only one

[69:38]fast food place

[69:38]that puts out gravy

[69:39]and it's fucking hard.

[69:40]Can we not get some

[69:42]goddamn Frisco toast

[69:43]in this restaurant?

[69:44]Can you imagine

[69:47]you're the guy

[69:48]who warms up the gravy

[69:49]at Hardee's for breakfast?

[69:50]What kind of slobs

[69:52]are eating that gravy?

[69:52]You get up at four

[69:53]to go hydrate

[69:55]the powdered gravy

[69:56]and then,

[69:56]oh man.

[69:57]And then there's a guy

[70:00]jerking it in the bathroom.

[70:01]That's the worst.

[70:02]Ugh.

[70:03]Next song on the list.

[70:04]This is the first ever

[70:05]back-to-back song

[70:07]on a list

[70:07]from last week

[70:08]and this week.

[70:09]It's Rob Bass,

[70:10]It Takes Two,

[70:10]It's Back.

[70:11]Wow.

[70:12]Wow.

[70:14]Russell, you saved me time.

[70:15]I only had to download it once.

[70:16]Yeah.

[70:20]Oh.

[70:21]I like the Big Mac.

[70:22]The Big Mac?

[70:23]Wow.

[70:24]Can I tell you guys

[70:26]a secret I have?

[70:27]It's bold.

[70:28]I don't think

[70:29]I've ever eaten a Big Mac.

[70:30]I don't think I've ever.

[70:31]I never have.

[70:31]I don't think I've ever eaten a Big Mac.

[70:32]I've never eaten one.

[70:33]No.

[70:33]I'm not eating one either.

[70:34]I don't want the tomato.

[70:35]I don't want the lettuce.

[70:36]There's no tomato, Rob.

[70:37]The lettuce and the special sauce.

[70:38]There's no tomato.

[70:39]I love it.

[70:39]I don't like it at all.

[70:40]No tomato.

[70:42]I know.

[70:42]But the shredded lettuce?

[70:43]I wouldn't know.

[70:43]Ooh.

[70:44]I'm out.

[70:44]Yeah.

[70:45]I'm with you, man.

[70:46]Yeah.

[70:46]Why would I choose anything

[70:47]but a quarter pounder with cheese?

[70:48]Like, I'm not going to

[70:49]stray from that.

[70:49]You know what they call those?

[70:51]You know what they call those

[70:52]in England, Aaron?

[70:53]What do they call them?

[70:54]Royale with cheese.

[70:55]Aaron, you'll appreciate.

[70:56]You twat.

[70:57]You guys will appreciate this.

[70:58]The messed up with the Big Mac

[70:59]is there's an extra layer

[71:00]of bun in the middle.

[71:01]There becomes too much bun.

[71:03]No.

[71:03]Why is it in there?

[71:03]No.

[71:04]No, no, no.

[71:05]That's why I get

[71:06]the two cheeseburger meal.

[71:07]Okay.

[71:08]Now, by the way,

[71:09]that costs $13

[71:10]or something obscene.

[71:11]Have you heard about that guy

[71:12]that's eating like 48,000

[71:14]Big Mac or Big Macs?

[71:16]His name is Gorman.

[71:17]I know his last name.

[71:18]I mean, it's so sad

[71:19]that I know his last name.

[71:20]He's Rob's cardiologist.

[71:21]Yeah.

[71:23]He's like,

[71:23]he's like,

[71:24]bro, you're fucked.

[71:25]Is he sad?

[71:27]Is he still alive?

[71:27]Hand me that Big Mac.

[71:28]Yeah.

[71:29]Oh, yeah.

[71:29]Gorman.

[71:30]I'm going to type this in.

[71:31]Watch this.

[71:31]Gorman.

[71:31]Oh, yeah.

[71:33]Big Mac.

[71:34]Don Gorski.

[71:37]His name was Don Gorski.

[71:38]Not actually that close.

[71:39]So Don Gorski

[71:41]has now eaten

[71:42]34,000 Big Macs.

[71:44]34,000.

[71:45]Yeah.

[71:45]He eats one every day

[71:47]for lunch

[71:47]or two for lunch

[71:48]and one for dinner,

[71:49]but he says

[71:49]they're getting smaller.

[71:50]That's part of it.

[71:51]Next on the list,

[71:52]we talked about this band.

[71:55]We've covered this album.

[71:56]It's,

[71:57]it's N.W.A.

[71:57]The song is

[71:58]I Ain't The One.

[71:58]Oh, okay.

[72:00]Yes.

[72:12]Yeah.

[72:14]Isn't that a great line?

[72:15]Yeah.

[72:16]That's a great one.

[72:17]I want to do the wild thing.

[72:19]You're thinking lobster.

[72:21]I'm thinking Burger King.

[72:22]Yes.

[72:22]This is

[72:24]fucking,

[72:25]Ice Cube is a giant.

[72:27]She is a fucking genius.

[72:28]I'll tell you what,

[72:28]you know what Burger King

[72:29]doesn't have, Russell?

[72:30]Why I wouldn't want to go there?

[72:31]The fries.

[72:33]The fries are too thin.

[72:36]Don't you think?

[72:37]No, the Burger King fries

[72:37]I think are bigger and thicker

[72:39]than like a McDonald's fries.

[72:40]I do think so.

[72:42]I think they have a thicker

[72:43]breading on them.

[72:44]I will say though,

[72:45]I've probably consumed Burger King

[72:46]under five times in my life.

[72:48]Under,

[72:51]under 10 for sure.

[72:52]Wow.

[72:52]Wow.

[72:53]Not me with those breakfasts, man.

[72:55]I lived on those things.

[72:56]When I started high school,

[72:59]I weighed 85 pounds.

[73:00]Next song on the list

[73:04]is the reason nobody

[73:05]wants to go to Burger King.

[73:06]Is this Eminem,

[73:07]the real Slim Shady?

[73:08]Check it out.

[73:08]Working

[73:09]and every single person

[73:10]is a Slim Shady lurking.

[73:11]He could be working

[73:12]in Burger King

[73:12]spitting on your onion rings.

[73:14]Yeah.

[73:14]Right?

[73:15]Gross.

[73:16]My ultimate fear.

[73:18]Snotting on your,

[73:19]on your onion rings.

[73:21]Snot on your onion rings.

[73:22]I'm begging you

[73:24]because I did,

[73:24]I'll tell you what.

[73:25]I did like

[73:26]those onion rings.

[73:27]Burger King has onion rings?

[73:28]Yes.

[73:29]Burger King,

[73:30]I could order onion rings

[73:31]and guess what would happen

[73:32]in the fries every once in a while?

[73:33]Sometimes there'd be

[73:36]a little ring in there.

[73:37]You know who is really,

[73:39]really going to be pissed off

[73:41]they missed this episode

[73:42]and we invited him

[73:43]is John from Edina.

[73:44]Yeah, he's got some thoughts, right?

[73:46]He's a big,

[73:46]hello,

[73:48]big,

[73:49]big,

[73:51]big fast food guy.

[73:52]Yeah, but that's,

[73:53]he's not even a big guy

[73:55]and yet he loves eating fast food.

[73:56]That's not fucking fair.

[73:58]He says he can't touch his toes.

[74:00]No.

[74:00]Well,

[74:02]he can probably touch one toe

[74:03]but not the other.

[74:03]That guy's doing like a six hour

[74:05]cross country ski race.

[74:06]He's doing fine.

[74:07]Listen,

[74:08]he can't touch his toes

[74:09]because one of his legs

[74:10]is too damn long.

[74:11]He's never been able to touch

[74:12]that leg toes.

[74:12]He's got two different length legs.

[74:14]He calls one minute

[74:15]and the other is mugsy.

[74:16]Last song on the list.

[74:21]One of the coolest things

[74:22]about Burger King

[74:23]has got to be the crown

[74:24]and you know who recognized it?

[74:25]It's Beck,

[74:26]Matt.

[74:27]This is one of our favorite

[74:28]Beck songs.

[74:28]This is great.

[74:29]This might be my favorite.

[74:34]Oh, yes.

[74:37]Let's play this

[74:42]for a little bit.

[74:43]Good song.

[74:45]So when it comes

[74:46]to hip hop songs

[74:47]that shout out BK,

[74:49]have it your way.

[74:50]Who does it better?

[74:51]Beck did it better.

[74:53]Russell,

[74:55]you related Beck

[74:56]to BK.

[74:57]You know,

[74:58]that makes sense though

[74:59]because Beck is only

[75:00]two letters away from BK.

[75:01]It's true.

[75:02]I was going to say that song.

[75:05]It reminded me

[75:06]a lot of

[75:07]a tribe called Quest

[75:09]and like I left my wallet

[75:11]and they'll look

[75:11]like a gun.

[75:12]Oh, yeah.

[75:12]They're just telling a story.

[75:14]Right.

[75:14]You know,

[75:15]exactly.

[75:15]Russell.

[75:16]So I will say this chat GPT.

[75:19]Here's my issue with you.

[75:20]They told me

[75:21]Lauren Hill

[75:22]on doo-wop

[75:23]shouts out Burger King.

[75:25]Some line about

[75:26]you're the whopper

[75:28]but you're not my king

[75:29]and so I'm looking

[75:30]for lyrics.

[75:31]I'm searching,

[75:31]searching nothing.

[75:33]Not true.

[75:33]There's like four songs

[75:34]that they just flat out

[75:36]lied to me about.

[75:36]You notice every single thing

[75:38]of what was true

[75:39]about those songs, Russell?

[75:39]What's that?

[75:40]It was a guy.

[75:41]No woman is going to sing

[75:43]about going to Burger King.

[75:44]There was a Ramones one

[75:46]where he talks about

[75:47]meeting his future wife

[75:48]at the Burger King

[75:49]family drink stand.

[75:51]Oh, yeah.

[75:52]I mean,

[75:54]I got it.

[75:56]If my wife said,

[75:57]hey,

[75:57]you know where I want

[75:58]to go to dinner tonight?

[75:59]Burger King.

[76:01]I'd be like,

[76:01]oh, that's hot.

[76:03]I'm not taking it.

[76:04]I'm taking it for lobster instead.

[76:05]And guess what?

[76:06]I'd be getting her

[76:07]one of those pies.

[76:08]Do you ever get the

[76:08]pies that they had?

[76:10]Hershey pie.

[76:10]Oh, I got the Reese's pie.

[76:12]When you're

[76:14]when you have someone,

[76:16]you know,

[76:16]walk into a Burger King

[76:18]and you're in there

[76:19]eating a piece of pie.

[76:20]It's an all time low.

[76:23]Let me tell you that right now.

[76:25]Oh,

[76:25]all time low.

[76:27]Your physics teacher comes in

[76:28]and you're hammering down a pie

[76:30]with some onion rings

[76:30]at Burger King.

[76:31]It's a very widespread panic song.

[76:32]Goodness gracious.

[76:33]You would have to like

[76:34]throw like a fake seizure

[76:37]or something.

[76:37]You would have to do

[76:38]something extreme.

[76:39]You couldn't just stand there

[76:41]and like look at someone

[76:42]in the eye, right?

[76:42]You'd have to pull out a gun

[76:44]and be like,

[76:44]yeah, I'm robbing this place.

[76:45]Yeah, you would.

[76:46]You'd have to.

[76:47]What would be more embarrassing?

[76:50]Somebody catches you

[76:50]robbing a BK

[76:51]or eating a pie

[76:52]and onion rings at one?

[76:53]I can see you in the pie

[76:54]and robbing it.

[76:55]It's like,

[76:55]my brother's a bass head.

[76:57]This was based on the,

[76:59]one of their brothers

[77:01]actually becoming addicted

[77:02]to crack

[77:03]and it was kind of the,

[77:04]like a lot of people

[77:05]point to this song

[77:05]especially of

[77:06]De La Soul

[77:07]kind of taking a darker turn

[77:08]on this album,

[77:08]but not just darker,

[77:10]kind of more realistic.

[77:12]I think Aaron,

[77:12]the word you used,

[77:13]cynical,

[77:13]was perfect.

[77:14]Oh,

[77:15]but just right there,

[77:16]like using those samples.

[77:17]Yeah.

[77:18]They're so good at it.

[77:19]They're so,

[77:19]let me in,

[77:22]let,

[77:22]let me in.

[77:23]Listen to this,

[77:25]listen to this,

[77:25]listen to these lyrics.

[77:26]I got the semen headlocked,

[77:28]you won't get fat.

[77:29]Huh.

[77:30]Saying he's got a condom on

[77:32]so you won't get pregnant.

[77:32]I mean,

[77:33]that's,

[77:33]they're clever, man.

[77:34]Yeah.

[77:35]I would say,

[77:35]I've got a condom on,

[77:38]I'm wearing a rubber,

[77:39]I won't knock you out.

[77:40]They say,

[77:40]I've got my semen headlocked.

[77:41]I mean,

[77:42]that's,

[77:43]that's brilliant.

[77:44]Yeah,

[77:44]these guys are clever.

[77:45]Just is.

[77:46]You could spend

[77:47]years studying this album,

[77:49]the samples and the wordplay

[77:50]and learn something new

[77:52]all the time

[77:52]and then you'd still be annoyed

[77:54]with the skits,

[77:55]but you,

[77:55]you could do it.

[77:56]Afro Connections

[77:57]at a high five.

[77:58]This is like,

[78:02]this is what you're

[78:04]talking about, Aaron,

[78:04]where they're going

[78:05]after somebody.

[78:05]Yeah,

[78:06]because I feel like

[78:07]they're finding,

[78:08]because the skit before this,

[78:09]they kind of talk,

[78:10]is this where they do

[78:11]the rap and bullshit

[78:11]where they say like,

[78:12]oh,

[78:12]it's the R&B stuff,

[78:13]it's rap and bullshit.

[78:14]Yeah,

[78:15]they're upset about

[78:16]something that's going on

[78:17]with hip hop and,

[78:17]you know,

[78:18]it's probably gangsta rap,

[78:19]but I can't tell for sure.

[78:20]The rap show

[78:23]is just them talking,

[78:24]so I'm going to move on.

[78:25]Millie pulled a pistol

[78:26]on Santa.

[78:27]I would best describe this

[78:28]as like a

[78:29]Jeannie's got a gun

[78:30]type song.

[78:31]And again,

[78:32]very, very serious.

[78:33]Dark as shit,

[78:34]yeah.

[78:34]Yeah,

[78:35]I mean,

[78:35]they're getting into

[78:35]domestic abuse

[78:36]and I mean,

[78:37]weird stuff, man.

[78:39]I mean,

[78:40]they use these samples

[78:41]to set such a

[78:42]soundscape

[78:44]and set such a tone

[78:45]on these songs.

[78:45]Ugh.

[78:47]Aaron,

[78:48]how often are you

[78:48]listening to this album ever?

[78:49]No,

[78:50]I went through

[78:51]all of Dayless Soul

[78:53]when it became available

[78:54]on streaming.

[78:54]I bought three

[78:55]feet high on vinyl.

[78:56]I do listen to that one

[78:58]because it's fun.

[78:58]I like

[78:59]Stakes is High

[79:01]and Balloon Mind State.

[79:02]I listen to both

[79:03]of those sometimes,

[79:04]but this one

[79:04]I don't come back to.

[79:05]Yeah.

[79:06]Who do you worship?

[79:08]Now,

[79:08]in this,

[79:09]I can hear

[79:09]like,

[79:13]you can hear

[79:13]this new metal

[79:15]that's going to come out

[79:16]in the 90s here.

[79:17]You know what I mean?

[79:17]Like the rap rock

[79:18]type thing.

[79:19]Now,

[79:19]of course,

[79:20]what rap rock band

[79:21]do I think of, Aaron?

[79:21]As somebody who went

[79:23]to St. Olaf?

[79:23]As somebody who's

[79:25]went to St. Olaf,

[79:26]who do I think of?

[79:26]Damn,

[79:28]I've got to listen to this.

[79:28]Citizen King,

[79:30]of course.

[79:31]Citizen King.

[79:31]Citizen King.

[79:33]I'm the only person

[79:34]who consistently references

[79:35]the band Citizen King.

[79:37]Okay.

[79:38]What was their big song again?

[79:40]What did they play?

[79:40]I don't remember.

[79:41]I remember because

[79:42]the guy said the line

[79:43]into a phone

[79:44]and it blew my mind.

[79:45]He had a phone up on stage

[79:46]that he would pick up

[79:47]and he would just say

[79:49]the line into it.

[79:50]It's a fun song.

[79:54]Yeah.

[79:55]Let's see if he does

[79:58]the phone here.

[79:58]You got to see.

[79:59]I mean,

[80:00]this is like the

[80:01]like

[80:02]Citizen King

[80:04]to De La Soul

[80:04]is like Nickelback

[80:06]is to Pearl Jam,

[80:07]right?

[80:07]Like they took

[80:08]the sound

[80:09]and like distilled it

[80:10]and made it cleaner

[80:12]and

[80:12]co-headliners.

[80:15]Yeah.

[80:16]There.

[80:17]Now I noticed

[80:18]they did not do the phone

[80:19]in the video,

[80:19]which I think is bad.

[80:20]Kicked out of the house.

[80:21]Oh,

[80:23]I have the sound off.

[80:25]This was kind of a neat.

[80:28]I like this where they're

[80:29]doing their take on

[80:29]house music a little bit.

[80:30]Yeah, that's the thing

[80:32]they keep bringing back

[80:33]from the

[80:34]from Lottie Dottie.

[80:35]I can't be your lover

[80:36]and like I don't know

[80:37]why that's a

[80:38]motif throughout the album.

[80:40]Like they're saying something

[80:41]and I'm not catching it.

[80:43]I'll tell you what,

[80:44]every time I hear Slick Rick,

[80:45]even if I'm too dumb

[80:47]to understand why,

[80:48]I enjoy it.

[80:49]Oh, yeah.

[80:49]Pass the plugs.

[80:54]There's so many fucking songs

[80:56]on this album.

[80:56]Jesus Christ.

[80:58]It's dead.

[80:58]Not over till the fat lady plays

[81:03]something.

[81:06]What the fuck?

[81:09]The demo.

[81:11]That's what it was.

[81:12]Aaron,

[81:13]where were like three of the

[81:14]where's there like two or three

[81:15]like big commercial hits

[81:17]on the first album?

[81:18]Well, the first album

[81:19]has I Know.

[81:20]I'm not gonna be able

[81:23]to think of them

[81:23]while we're listening

[81:24]to other songs.

[81:24]But it has I Know

[81:25]and it has

[81:26]Three is a Magic Number.

[81:28]Yes.

[81:29]Russell,

[81:32]here's their number one

[81:33]single off this album.

[81:34]Ring, Ring, Ring.

[81:35]It got up to number three

[81:37]on the rap chart.

[81:37]Didn't get on the billboard

[81:38]at 100.

[81:39]First one has the song

[81:41]that samples Knee Deep on it,

[81:42]but now I can't remember

[81:43]what that one's called.

[81:45]But yeah,

[81:45]I don't think this was

[81:46]like getting played

[81:47]on the radio.

[81:47]But man.

[81:54]Me, myself, and I.

[81:55]Me, myself, and I.

[81:56]That's it.

[81:56]When you do a music podcast,

[81:58]you realize how often

[82:00]people talk about De La Soul.

[82:01]Like I hear it brought up

[82:03]a different like

[82:05]when we're going out

[82:05]with coworkers or whatever.

[82:06]Like just every once in a while

[82:07]somebody will be like.

[82:08]Yeah, it's like your favorite

[82:08]rapper's favorite rapper

[82:09]kind of thing, right?

[82:10]Swing a latte.

[82:12]Swing a lacate.

[82:14]Swing a lacate.

[82:16]I present to you

[82:20]the preacher man.

[82:21]He's every one.

[82:23]This album swings.

[82:24]Like it's funny.

[82:24]We were talking last week

[82:25]about what you say

[82:27]the heartaches

[82:28]versus the swung aids.

[82:29]Yeah, this album really swings.

[82:30]It's probably the jazz influence,

[82:32]but it's just like

[82:33]I think it's a swinging album.

[82:35]Yeah, 100%.

[82:38]And it's a swinging album

[82:40]because it came around

[82:40]around the same time as

[82:41]Swing!

[82:42]Swing!

[82:43]How many times do you think

[82:45]you've said swing

[82:46]referring to a boner

[82:47]in your life?

[82:47]Oh, not enough.

[82:48]Not enough.

[82:49]And you guys do me a favor.

[82:51]Okay.

[82:52]And you have to do this.

[82:54]Next time you get a boner

[82:55]in front of your special someone,

[82:56]can you just say

[82:57]swing for me?

[82:58]We got a tubing moment.

[83:00]Russell's video is off.

[83:04]We love the bit.

[83:06]We think it's so good.

[83:06]I didn't hear a lot of yeses there.

[83:10]Is this better than

[83:10]my original greatest bit,

[83:12]which was when I would type

[83:13]the keyboard really hard?

[83:14]No, I loved it.

[83:15]I loved it.

[83:15]It was a good one,

[83:17]but you would push buttons

[83:18]and turn off your computer.

[83:19]Yeah, but then you can,

[83:19]you know,

[83:20]at least the audience,

[83:21]the 16 people that are listening

[83:23]could,

[83:23]I don't hear what you're doing.

[83:25]It was a great bit

[83:26]because that's when

[83:27]you were working on my flow.

[83:28]Yeah.

[83:29]Now, Russell,

[83:29]what have you done

[83:30]with your dating profiles?

[83:31]Are they still out there

[83:33]in the world?

[83:34]It's funny you bring this up.

[83:35]So when we went to Charleston

[83:36]a few weeks ago,

[83:37]the Dewberry Hotel, Matt,

[83:39]we've talked about how

[83:40]that they have a great bar there.

[83:43]So we went to this restaurant

[83:44]called Husk.

[83:45]It's like the,

[83:45]it's like kind of the main

[83:47]famous restaurant there.

[83:49]Sean Brock restaurant

[83:50]in Charleston

[83:51]was really good.

[83:52]And we were there.

[83:53]There was another couple

[83:53]that was there.

[83:54]We kind of got there late.

[83:55]So it was kind of emptying out.

[83:56]There was another couple

[83:57]that was there.

[83:57]They were also staying

[83:58]at our hotel.

[83:59]So we got back

[84:00]and we were sitting at the bar

[84:01]and we saw him

[84:01]at the other end of the bar.

[84:02]Normally I wouldn't say anything.

[84:03]It was like,

[84:04]oh, you guys were at the,

[84:05]we started talking to him.

[84:06]We asked him out

[84:07]and we were talking to him

[84:08]for a while.

[84:08]I think this is going.

[84:09]So it gets a little,

[84:11]a little frisky here.

[84:13]No,

[84:13]we're talking to him

[84:17]and they had met online.

[84:22]They had met online

[84:23]and she started,

[84:25]they started talking

[84:26]about dating apps

[84:27]and I was like,

[84:27]oh, what was your

[84:28]like opening line or whatever?

[84:29]And we were kind of joking

[84:31]back and forth

[84:31]and we were talking

[84:32]and then the guy goes,

[84:33]I wonder if I still have

[84:34]these apps on my phone.

[84:35]And then the girlfriend was like,

[84:37]you still have the apps

[84:38]on your phone?

[84:38]And they went through

[84:39]like this thing of where

[84:40]he was looking for the apps,

[84:42]but this guy seemed

[84:43]kind of like a

[84:44]clueless,

[84:46]jovial guy

[84:46]where even if he had them,

[84:47]you would,

[84:48]you would believe

[84:49]that he wasn't looking at him.

[84:50]He just doesn't know

[84:51]how to use his phone.

[84:52]He doesn't know where

[84:53]they're at.

[84:53]Wow.

[84:53]But yeah,

[84:55]so he,

[84:55]I believe he couldn't find it,

[84:57]but he may have still had the apps,

[84:58]but I believe they're

[84:59]uninstalled on my phone.

[85:01]You believe?

[85:03]At least my work phone.

[85:04]There's not still women

[85:05]like clicking on your profile

[85:06]and being like,

[85:07]oh, I hope this guy

[85:08]swipes on me.

[85:08]I don't know enough

[85:09]about how that stuff works

[85:10]because I think you have to

[85:11]like delete and deactivate stuff.

[85:13]But if you just like

[85:14]uninstall the app,

[85:15]like I think your stuff

[85:17]is still out there

[85:17]for a long time.

[85:18]Yeah.

[85:19]Are these apps,

[85:20]pay apps?

[85:22]Some of them were pay.

[85:23]Some of them weren't.

[85:23]It depends on what level

[85:24]of service you want.

[85:25]Yeah, there's a,

[85:26]there's a,

[85:27]you're not still paying

[85:28]for anything.

[85:28]I'm not paying for anything now.

[85:29]Yeah.

[85:30]I found most of them aren't, man.

[85:31]There's a deep fake

[85:35]of you somewhere, Russell,

[85:36]who's seducing ladies

[85:37]in Turkmenistan.

[85:38]I'm sure there is.

[85:39]Rob or Matt,

[85:40]the thing where you would

[85:41]have to pay

[85:42]would sometimes you would,

[85:43]you would pay.

[85:43]And this is where like

[85:44]the suckers like me,

[85:46]they're like doing anything

[85:47]just to get a little peace.

[85:48]Oops, sorry.

[85:51]Could you delete that?

[85:51]Mute that.

[85:52]I don't blame you.

[85:54]I would be reckless

[85:55]if I did.

[85:55]The thing that would get you.

[85:58]What's that?

[85:59]You want to,

[85:59]you want to have sex

[86:00]on the floor of a Taco Bell

[86:01]at 630 p.m.?

[86:02]Sure thing.

[86:03]Oh, you want to be on top?

[86:06]Yeah, you want me on top

[86:07]and I'm on bottom

[86:08]and you want half my body

[86:09]outside the stall

[86:10]and half my body

[86:11]inside the stall?

[86:11]Okay.

[86:12]But the half inside the stall

[86:16]is my head.

[86:17]Oh, yeah, 100%.

[86:19]That's what I was thinking.

[86:22]It's filthy.

[86:23]We're occupado.

[86:25]Thank you.

[86:26]You got to knock

[86:30]before you come in.

[86:31]So some of them

[86:32]you would have to like

[86:32]pay to message people

[86:33]or you'd have to pay to message

[86:35]more than like X people a day

[86:36]or have so many swipes.

[86:37]But the thing that would always get me

[86:39]and this is like embarrassing

[86:41]to even say it,

[86:42]but you could do something

[86:43]called a boost

[86:43]where you'd pay a couple bucks

[86:45]or whatever

[86:46]and then it would supposedly

[86:47]push your profile

[86:49]to like the top of the line.

[86:51]And so you wouldn't get

[86:52]anything for a while

[86:53]and you'd pay for that boost.

[86:54]SEO for dating.

[86:54]And then you get a little,

[86:55]you get a couple connections

[86:56]and it pulls you in

[86:58]and you're like,

[86:58]oh, yeah,

[86:59]I got to keep doing the boost.

[87:00]It didn't lead to jack shit.

[87:03]Nope.

[87:04]Boost equals sign of the line

[87:07]through it, bust.

[87:07]Boost does not equal bust.

[87:09]Boost equals bloke.

[87:11]I think, I mean,

[87:15]this is all,

[87:15]there was an Ashley Madison

[87:17]documentary out there

[87:18]on one of the streaming things.

[87:20]Any of you guys watch that one?

[87:21]Do we talk about that?

[87:22]No, but I,

[87:23]I listened to a lot of Howard Stern

[87:25]when Ashley Madison

[87:26]was constantly advertising with him.

[87:28]And so he would talk about it

[87:29]because he'd be like,

[87:30]well, what is this site?

[87:32]This can't be real

[87:33]because what was the site for, man?

[87:34]Ashley Madison was a site just for.

[87:36]They're like married people

[87:37]that wanted to cheat.

[87:38]Yes.

[87:38]You know,

[87:40]and so then they basically came up.

[87:41]What if,

[87:42]what if you're,

[87:43]what if you're not

[87:44]contractually engaged?

[87:46]Does this still work?

[87:48]Not for you.

[87:48]You can't do it.

[87:49]Do whatever you want.

[87:49]Better, better.

[87:50]Yeah.

[87:50]No, but the whole thing

[87:52]and they basically came out

[87:53]and this is,

[87:54]I think that leads to your thing,

[87:55]Russell.

[87:56]It's so good.

[87:56]You know,

[87:57]like there was like

[87:59]two women

[88:00]for every 900 men

[88:01]on the site,

[88:02]you know,

[88:03]and so they had to just.

[88:04]Okay.

[88:07]It's such a good,

[88:09]it's such a good gag,

[88:10]you know,

[88:11]but they had to,

[88:12]they're just keeping people

[88:14]hooked in kind of a thing.

[88:15]Russell,

[88:15]such a scam.

[88:16]Listen,

[88:17]if we all talked about

[88:18]the embarrassing things we did

[88:19]when we were horny,

[88:20]I mean,

[88:21]there's just a low

[88:22]lowest of the low stuff.

[88:23]You know what I mean?

[88:24]Like literally,

[88:24]like we said,

[88:25]we know a guy who drove

[88:27]like eight and a half hours

[88:28]and all of us were like,

[88:29]yeah,

[88:30]I kind of get it.

[88:31]Like,

[88:31]I don't think that's

[88:32]the craziest thing in the world.

[88:33]Your wife's ex,

[88:35]your wife's ex-boyfriend

[88:36]started dating her roommate.

[88:37]Oh,

[88:38]the roommate switch.

[88:39]Unbelievable.

[88:41]The Layla.

[88:43]That's what you missed out on me.

[88:47]Oh,

[88:48]geez,

[88:48]you got to bleep that.

[88:49]All right.

[88:50]That was for you guys.

[88:52]A little treat for you guys.

[88:53]Fanatic of the B-word.

[88:57]This is where Rob used to snap.

[88:58]He used to snap.

[88:59]Oh, yeah.

[89:00]Hit the break.

[89:01]It's all about

[89:04]how much they love baseball.

[89:05]Yeah.

[89:06]That's fun.

[89:08]Very pure.

[89:08]I love it.

[89:09]ESPN doesn't love it anymore.

[89:12]They drop bitch.

[89:13]Oh,

[89:14]that's true, right?

[89:15]Did they really?

[89:15]Yeah.

[89:16]Something like that.

[89:17]One way or the other.

[89:18]Somebody drops somebody there,

[89:19]yeah.

[89:19]Matt,

[89:20]what's your thought

[89:21]on the robot umpire

[89:22]I mean,

[89:24]probably okay,

[89:26]right?

[89:27]I don't know.

[89:27]Let's cancel some more

[89:28]people's jobs

[89:29]while we're at it.

[89:29]They're all gambling anyway,

[89:31]so you can't trust them.

[89:32]Oh, my God.

[89:33]You guys have so many umpire bits.

[89:35]I talk about a Taco John's bathroom.

[89:38]I get nothing.

[89:39]I bring up umpires.

[89:41]You guys got five minutes

[89:42]worth of materials on it.

[89:43]Bob Newhart talks about it.

[89:44]He wins a goddamn Grammy.

[89:46]Oh, my God.

[89:47]That's the ironical thing.

[89:49]There's four balls?

[89:50]It's the guy that's gambling.

[89:52]The guy that's gambling

[89:52]had like the last perfect game

[89:54]as determined by the robo umpires.

[89:59]He was good at his job,

[90:01]but they weren't paying him enough

[90:02]to not want to gamble.

[90:03]Can you imagine what he was doing,

[90:05]though,

[90:05]how sick it was?

[90:06]He was sharing an app with a friend?

[90:08]Who would do such a thing?

[90:10]Disgusting.

[90:11]He lives in an area

[90:14]where he could bet,

[90:15]so he was getting his friends involved.

[90:16]Wow.

[90:17]Wouldn't it be awesome, Rob,

[90:19]if the first year umpire

[90:20]was like the Chad GPT

[90:22]and they throw a ball

[90:23]right down the middle

[90:23]instead of calling it a strike?

[90:25]The Chad GPT's like,

[90:26]a field goal is good.

[90:28]All of a sudden,

[90:29]you're up three to zero.

[90:30]Speaking of this,

[90:31]Rob,

[90:31]can you cut the music real quick?

[90:33]Cut the music.

[90:34]This is a couple weeks old now

[90:37]that this is out,

[90:38]but USA lost to Canada

[90:41]in the Four Nations Cup.

[90:43]It's Joe from East St. Paul's fault.

[90:48]You guys know it's Joe's fault?

[90:50]We said we weren't going to tell anybody

[90:52]about this on the text.

[90:53]It's been two weeks.

[90:54]It's fine.

[90:54]You f***ing gambled on Canada?

[90:58]No, we wanted to.

[91:00]So we took USA and the over.

[91:05]So it was Canada, the under, of course.

[91:08]So it was our fault.

[91:10]Can I tell you something even worse?

[91:12]When I went to overtime,

[91:13]I bet on the USA.

[91:15]Well, I wanted to bet the opposite.

[91:21]I said, this feels like,

[91:22]this feels like a Canada win.

[91:22]Matt wanted to bet Canada

[91:24]and I felt so dirty.

[91:25]I was like,

[91:25]I don't think I can hit the button for it.

[91:27]It's the smart bet.

[91:28]I know it is.

[91:28]It's the way as Joe.

[91:29]And Joe says,

[91:30]we cannot bet on Canada.

[91:31]We cannot bet on Canada.

[91:32]Joe was Captain America.

[91:33]I'm like, yeah, you're right.

[91:34]You're right.

[91:34]Matt was like the Red Hulk.

[91:35]Now,

[91:36]listen.

[91:38]So it's Joe from East,

[91:41]if anybody has any,

[91:42]if anybody's still pissed about it,

[91:44]call Joe from East St. Paul.

[91:45]That's so terrible, man.

[91:46]We literally said

[91:47]we cannot tell anybody about this.

[91:48]But you know I love it

[91:51]when you cause trouble.

[91:52]I love it.

[91:52]Listen,

[91:53]speaking of causing trouble,

[91:54]we're going to end this show.

[91:55]Whoa.

[91:55]We got to get to the dentist

[91:57]in X hours.

[91:58]We're landing the plane.

[91:59]We're not done yet.

[92:02]Fuck, five hours.

[92:04]I have to be at the dentist

[92:05]in five hours.

[92:06]You know,

[92:08]my dentist name is Dennis.

[92:09]Just don't go.

[92:10]Don't go.

[92:10]Don't go.

[92:12]Don't go.

[92:13]Russell, I got it.

[92:15]I'm bringing two kids with me.

[92:16]Don't they have a bus pass?

[92:18]Don't they get to school

[92:20]by themselves

[92:20]on the subway

[92:21]and everything?

[92:22]They can get to the dentist.

[92:23]You know what?

[92:23]We have a friend

[92:24]who sends their cat

[92:25]to the vet

[92:26]with their kid.

[92:27]I'm like, damn,

[92:28]I didn't even think about that.

[92:29]Wow.

[92:30]It'd be so good.

[92:31]I mean,

[92:32]you're not going to bypass

[92:33]an extra PTO day, right?

[92:35]It is true.

[92:37]Having your dog,

[92:38]taking your dog to the vet

[92:39]is the perfect excuse

[92:40]to give people

[92:41]to get out of work.

[92:42]Oh,

[92:43]one of my best all year.

[92:44]Now,

[92:45]this is

[92:48]Day Less Old is Dead.

[92:49]This is all the way

[92:50]up to 228.

[92:51]It's from

[92:51]1991.

[92:52]What do we think?

[92:53]I don't know, guys.

[92:54]Are we just tired

[92:55]or what's going on here?

[92:56]Is this a rolling

[92:57]well-toned?

[92:58]That's where this is

[92:59]perfect at 228.

[93:01]Is this a rolling

[93:02]grown?

[93:02]It should have been.

[93:03]We should have already heard.

[93:04]We should be later

[93:05]on the list.

[93:06]Okay.

[93:07]It should be way back there.

[93:08]Okay.

[93:09]Or is this a rolling bone?

[93:11]It's too low on the list.

[93:12]We should have heard already,

[93:13]which, of course,

[93:14]now it should be

[93:14]a lower number.

[93:15]It's too low.

[93:16]It should be lower.

[93:17]Think about that.

[93:18]That's like a,

[93:19]what do you call it?

[93:21]Where it's two things

[93:22]at once?

[93:23]Makes you think?

[93:24]Double entendre.

[93:25]Double entendre.

[93:28]And I put him

[93:28]on foot patrol.

[93:29]Now,

[93:30]what do you think?

[93:31]Russell,

[93:32]rolling well-toned,

[93:33]rolling boner,

[93:33]rolling grown,

[93:34]De La Soul.

[93:34]De La Soul is dead.

[93:36]By the way,

[93:36]new title of our podcast,

[93:38]Beck Did It Better is dead.

[93:39]We're changing our ways.

[93:41]Russell,

[93:42]what do you think?

[93:42]While this is respected

[93:44]critically,

[93:44]I don't think it achieved

[93:45]the same level

[93:46]of commercial success

[93:47]as Three Feet High

[93:48]and Rising.

[93:49]This makes it somewhat

[93:51]less iconic

[93:51]in mainstream rap culture

[93:53]than some other 90s classics

[93:55]like Illmatic

[93:56]like we talked about earlier.

[93:57]I think the experimental nature

[93:59]and darker tone

[94:00]might not really appeal

[94:01]to all listeners

[94:02]like myself

[94:02]in the same way.

[94:03]And it does feel a bit

[94:04]avant-garde

[94:05]or inaccessible

[94:06]compared to other albums

[94:07]that reach a wider audience

[94:09]like myself.

[94:10]So people who are

[94:11]less familiar with

[94:12]De La Soul's

[94:13]more eclectic alternative style

[94:14]like me

[94:15]kind of question

[94:16]whether it deserves

[94:17]to be ranked

[94:17]in the top 250

[94:18]of all time.

[94:19]It's a rolling groan.

[94:20]Too high on us.

[94:21]Wow.

[94:22]Matt, what do you think?

[94:23]Rolling well-toned,

[94:24]rolling bone,

[94:24]or rolling groan?

[94:25]Kind of my thought

[94:27]going into this thing

[94:28]and we promised

[94:29]to do almost no research

[94:30]so I did almost no research

[94:32]but, you know,

[94:33]it feels like

[94:35]a low-end

[94:36]tribe album to me.

[94:38]So a tribe called Quest.

[94:40]I would listen to a tribe

[94:41]I listen to a tribe

[94:42]called Quest

[94:43]all the time now.

[94:44]I would listen to them

[94:46]10 out of 10 times

[94:48]over this album.

[94:49]And then, you know,

[94:50]there's another

[94:51]album that's coming up

[94:53]and it's not until

[94:54]482.

[94:55]Bizarre Ride to the Far Side

[94:57]by the Far Side.

[94:58]That's a great album.

[94:59]Which is,

[94:59]which is,

[95:00]again,

[95:00]it sounds like this album.

[95:02]And so then I'm looking

[95:03]and of course

[95:04]a tribe called Quest

[95:05]the Far Side

[95:06]and De La Soul

[95:07]toured in 1993

[95:08]or something like that

[95:09]all the time.

[95:10]Because they sound

[95:11]exactly alike.

[95:11]I mean,

[95:11]they're very much

[95:12]the same genre,

[95:13]if you will.

[95:14]And the Far Side album,

[95:16]I would highly recommend

[95:17]people try

[95:18]Bizarre Ride to the Far Side

[95:21]It is an awesome album.

[95:22]It's almost like

[95:23]the Beastie Boys

[95:24]meeting a tribe called Quest

[95:25]meeting some West Coast stuff.

[95:27]I think it's awesome.

[95:28]I mean,

[95:29]it's one of the

[95:29]one of the finds

[95:31]that, you know,

[95:31]this Quest

[95:33]has brought us on.

[95:33]So,

[95:34]I think this belongs

[95:35]below the Far Side album.

[95:37]The Far Side album

[95:38]is at 482.

[95:39]So,

[95:40]it's probably,

[95:41]I don't know,

[95:41]does it belong in the list

[95:42]to Russell?

[95:44]I mean,

[95:44]Chappie,

[95:45]I mean,

[95:45]Russell's point,

[95:46]they were,

[95:47]you know,

[95:48]they are iconic bands.

[95:50]So,

[95:50]maybe they

[95:51]belong in the list,

[95:52]but it's very much

[95:53]a rolling bone.

[95:54]It should be,

[95:54]a rolling groan.

[95:55]It should be way lower

[95:57]on the list,

[95:57]which means it has

[95:58]a higher number.

[95:58]I had my kids at school

[96:00]say,

[96:00]hey,

[96:01]you know what I did?

[96:01]Is I took the paper

[96:02]you assigned us

[96:03]and then I gave the rubric

[96:05]that you gave us

[96:06]and I had ChatGPT

[96:07]grade the paper

[96:08]using the rubric.

[96:09]And I was like,

[96:11]ChatGPT

[96:12]can grade papers

[96:13]using a rubric?

[96:14]Fuck yeah.

[96:15]I learned it

[96:20]from watching you,

[96:21]man.

[96:21]Yeah,

[96:22]exactly.

[96:23]You're not mad at me,

[96:24]you're mad at your father.

[96:25]Aaron,

[96:27]rolling well-toned,

[96:28]rolling bone,

[96:28]or rolling groan,

[96:29]what do you think

[96:29]De La Soul is dead?

[96:31]I think De La Soul

[96:32]should have two albums

[96:34]in the top

[96:35]250 to 300.

[96:36]I think there might be,

[96:38]like I said,

[96:39]I think Stakes is high

[96:40]and Balloon Mind State

[96:41]might at least be

[96:42]more pleasing

[96:43]to listen to

[96:43]than this one.

[96:44]This one has some

[96:45]tough moments,

[96:46]but there's also

[96:47]some greatness.

[96:48]But just

[96:49]when we get into

[96:50]the two,

[96:51]thirties,

[96:51]there are some

[96:52]absolute monster

[96:54]albums coming up.

[96:55]Giant Steps,

[96:56]Redhead Stranger,

[96:57]Criminal Minded,

[96:58]Live at the Harlem Square,

[96:59]Rihanna Anti,

[97:00]Mama Said Knock You Out,

[97:01]Metallica by Metallica,

[97:02]Whitney Houston,

[97:03]Whitney Houston.

[97:03]So I don't think

[97:05]this could be above

[97:06]some of the stuff

[97:07]that we're going to hear soon.

[97:08]So I'm going to give it

[97:10]a rolling groan.

[97:10]Wow.

[97:12]Unfortunately,

[97:13]you guys are incorrect.

[97:14]Oh,

[97:15]actually,

[97:15]Rob,

[97:17]can I try

[97:17]to take a crack?

[97:18]Yes.

[97:19]Some people

[97:20]would say it's not

[97:21]rolling tone,

[97:22]rolling groan,

[97:23]or rolling bone,

[97:24]just rolling stone.

[97:26]That ranking places

[97:27]the album among

[97:28]the greatest

[97:28]in music history,

[97:29]and it's a testament

[97:30]to its enduring influence

[97:31]in the hip-hop genre.

[97:32]Wow.

[97:34]Hey,

[97:36]hey,

[97:37]Matt and Aaron,

[97:38]I think we can

[97:38]replace him very easily.

[97:40]I think we got it.

[97:40]AI,

[97:41]AI is coming

[97:42]for your job.

[97:43]Can you do me a favor?

[97:43]Ask AI which bathroom

[97:45]I would least like

[97:45]to have sex in.

[97:46]Which fast food bathroom?

[97:47]Hey,

[97:48]Rob,

[97:48]you want to hear

[97:49]another funny joke?

[97:50]Yes,

[97:50]please.

[97:51]Why did this podcast,

[97:52]why did this funny podcast

[97:54]get banned

[97:54]from an allergy convention?

[97:56]Why is that?

[97:57]Because every time

[97:58]they tried to record,

[97:59]it was full of snotty jokes.

[98:00]Oh,

[98:01]God,

[98:01]gross.

[98:02]God,

[98:03]I hate that.

[98:04]You know I hate that.

[98:06]Russell,

[98:06]ask AI your computer system there.

[98:08]What's the

[98:08]least

[98:09]appetizing

[98:11]fast food bathroom

[98:13]to have sex in?

[98:13]Let's see what it says.

[98:15]Appetizing

[98:17]is the word

[98:17]you want me to use?

[98:18]I don't know.

[98:18]You tell me.

[98:20]Keep going, Rob.

[98:21]This gets a rolling

[98:24]reverse name

[98:25]persone

[98:25]because I want to

[98:27]remind you that

[98:28]Trugoy

[98:28]is just yogurt

[98:30]spelled backwards

[98:31]because he loved yogurt

[98:32]so much.

[98:32]His rap name is just

[98:33]yogurt backwards.

[98:34]Great.

[98:35]I bought two different

[98:36]kinds of yogurt today.

[98:37]I get it, man.

[98:39]When I go to the store,

[98:39]I get two different

[98:40]kinds of yogurt.

[98:41]I, okay, Aaron.

[98:42]You're all,

[98:44]are you all Greek yogurt?

[98:45]Yeah.

[98:45]I like the really

[98:46]healthy stuff.

[98:46]What does that mean?

[98:47]Two kinds of yogurt?

[98:48]Well, I like

[98:49]Greek 0%

[98:49]and like the 1%?

[98:50]No, like Wallace

[98:51]likes the Wallaby

[98:52]and I like Siggy's.

[98:53]So I go to Siggy's

[98:55]and I get the Wallaby

[98:56]from Wallace.

[98:56]I'll tell you what we did.

[98:57]We fucked up.

[98:58]Guys, Russell's smiling.

[98:58]Hold on, Russell's smiling.

[98:59]We fucked up

[99:00]our parenting so bad.

[99:01]Aaron, do you know

[99:02]when we fucked up

[99:03]our parenting so bad?

[99:03]When we bought the yogurt

[99:05]that had Oreos on the top.

[99:06]Oh, God.

[99:07]We were fucked

[99:07]because then we had

[99:08]to buy that forever.

[99:09]That was one of our

[99:10]embarrassing parenting

[99:11]moments for sure.

[99:11]Oh, well, that guy

[99:13]loved yogurt so much

[99:14]his name was Trugoy.

[99:14]It's just yogurt backwards.

[99:15]And that's why my new name

[99:17]on the show

[99:17]is Offing Jack.

[99:20]Offing Jack?

[99:20]Wait, no.

[99:21]That's not backwards.

[99:22]That's not really backwards.

[99:23]Listen.

[99:24]The comic's not master.

[99:25]No.

[99:26]Gross.

[99:27]Offing Jack.

[99:29]I think that was

[99:29]that movie about

[99:30]that Australian guy.

[99:31]Now, we have ultimate.

[99:33]Next up,

[99:33]we have the ultimate collection

[99:36]by Patsy Cline.

[99:37]Which is different

[99:40]than the guy

[99:40]I get my insurance

[99:41]whose name is Pat E. Cline.

[99:42]But I do think

[99:43]he's crazy

[99:44]for charging me

[99:44]such high rates.

[99:45]Or the guy

[99:47]who tries to approve him

[99:48]and he's Pat D. Cline.

[99:49]Oh, yeah.

[99:49]You beat me to it.

[99:51]I was going to say

[99:51]the guy who tries

[99:52]to approve Rob.

[99:53]God damn.

[99:54]Insurance.

[99:55]Pat D. Cline

[99:56]works at Express Grips.

[99:57]Rob D. Cline.

[99:59]If you want to hear

[100:03]from guys who chat

[100:04]and then they get off track.

[100:05]All right, Matt.

[100:05]You want the answer.

[100:06]You're right.

[100:07]I want the answer.

[100:09]What is the question?

[100:10]How did you word it?

[100:11]The question is

[100:11]what would be

[100:12]the worst fast food bathroom

[100:13]to have sexual relations in?

[100:15]That's definitely

[100:16]a trick question.

[100:17]But if we're going

[100:18]for the worst

[100:19]fast food bathroom,

[100:19]for that kind of situation,

[100:21]I'd say a Taco Bell bathroom

[100:23]would be the top contender.

[100:24]With a combination

[100:25]of questionable cleanliness,

[100:27]strong smells,

[100:28]and the after effects

[100:30]of a Taco Bell meal,

[100:31]it's just a setting

[100:32]that would leave you

[100:33]too distracted

[100:34]by the potential chaos afterwards.

[100:36]Just keeping it real.

[100:37]No one wants to be

[100:38]that distracted

[100:39]during a romantic moment.

[100:41]AI is coming for your job.

[100:46]Wow.

[100:46]But imagine

[100:48]you bust

[100:49]and then you go out

[100:51]and get a Baja Blast.

[100:52]Oh!

[100:53]The perfect thing.

[100:54]Oh!

[100:55]That's weird, Russell,

[100:56]because I asked

[100:57]the computer here

[100:58]what it thought

[100:58]and let me tell you

[100:59]what it said.

[100:59]I would have sex

[101:00]in a Taco Bell bathroom floor

[101:02]with my head and shoulders

[101:03]under the stall

[101:03]and I am hit first.

[101:04]Wow.

[101:05]That's crazy.

[101:08]It's like they're listening to us.

[101:09]Rob, your podcast is so funny.

[101:11]Even the bathroom is laughing.

[101:12]But it's mostly because

[101:13]of the snotty tissue

[101:14]from the last listener's visit

[101:16]stuck to the wall.

[101:17]What is that?

[101:18]That's not even a joke.

[101:19]That's not even a joke.

[101:19]But I gotta play the bill again.

[101:21]It's just a little bathroom humor,

[101:25]a little podcast shade

[101:26]and hopefully a good laugh.

[101:27]Imagine the Chinese spying on us

[101:29]being like,

[101:29]what the fuck are these guys up to?

[101:49]I don't know.