Alicia Keys: Diary of Alicia Keys (2003)

[0:00]I used to leave him up for even a couple days just in case Rob called like, hey. All right. Don't do that voice for me, by the way. Hey, you guys, upload your files, please. Anybody want a peanut? I was thinking what would be worse than looking like, because I did look like Andre the Giant kind of. I kind of had that vibe. That made a song that made one of my parody songs once. Yeah. But I was thinking like it would be way worse to look like Hulk Hogan. You know what I mean? Like if you were a teenager and you look like Hulk Hogan. Rob, can you do your bit about his baby doll hair? He does. His hair looks so fine. It looks like baby doll hair. Go look at his hair. It looks like somebody stitched in baby doll hair into a hot dog. You know, actually, I saw this once. He does wear a piece. He wears a hair piece. Oh, does he? Yeah. That's why it looked like that. Like it probably looked like that when he was younger. But as he got older, it was a hair piece. How does it not come off when he's wrestling?

[1:00]Well, I don't think he has a hair piece when he was younger. I think when he got older, he had a hair piece. So like if he wore the bandana, he'd have the long blonde. Yeah. Oh, that's what the bandana was for. That's the funniest fucking thing, by the way, is when you see Hulk Hogan, like at Buffalo Love Sponge's wedding and he's wearing a tuxedo and the bandana, the do-rag, like the formal do-rag. If I showed up to Aaron's wedding and I was like wearing like a bandana, Aaron's wife would have asked me to leave. Russell, a black bandana. This is a formal bandana. This is the dress bandana. Man. Great look. Russell, just so you know, coming soon on Netflix, April 22nd, Hulk Hogan, Real American. Yeah. Oh, wow. What if they're going to cover the magazine? A documentary or a movie or what? Documentary. Who's the producer? Is it like a Hogan estate or is it WWE? I don't think so. We're going to get like real stories. Buffalo Sponge's wife. Brother. Here it is. This is him. This is Hulk Hogan at his wedding. Now. They don't show his dress bandana.

[2:00]So we don't know if the pants are flared way wide out. Like actually a lot of cool people did at their wedding, but he is wearing a totally black tux and then a black do rag, but that's what he wore. He wore it on it to like all formal occasions. Well, this is he, this is when he got married when he was 70 to his wife who was 45. Oh, but like you, I bet if you can find him like testifying in court. Oh yeah. Where the black do rag Rob go back. You can pull that back up. Never a problem to check out some Hulk Hogan photos. Go to the website. The one right to the, go to the top, the one right to the left top, the fourth one in The fourth, this one. Yeah. This he's at his wedding, like doing the NWO, like hand, like the Scott Hall. Yes. That is bad-ass. He only had one bit. Can you imagine marrying a wrestler and then being like, oh, I'm so mad. My, my wedding is so corny. You know what I mean? I can't believe it's just so. All right, here we go. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums decided by Rolling Stone.

[3:00]I remember being at a wedding once and some, I don't know whose it was, but they, I think maybe we talked about this, but when I met, when NP, all the guys did like a wrestling thing. So I came in and I did the Brett, like the hands, palms up, kind of like, what do you think of me? How am I the best or what? And I can't believe nobody did degeneration X, not a single person at the wedding to suck it. What would you have done, Rob? You would. You'd done like the Jake, the snake, the DDT, the finger twirl. I would have had, first of all, I would add a two by four. Okay. But then I also would have been had a beer and held it way. Whoa. That'd be great. Steve Weiser. I would. Yeah, I would do it. I would have done the stone cold beers for sure. Yeah. I'd be licking the bride's head. Yeah. You'd be a bushwhacker. I was going to say, I'd go bushwhackers. Yeah. Find somebody else to bushwhack. Fully dressed as a clown. This resulted in a text chain. This celebrated the music, excoriated the order and led us to make this podcast.

[4:00]We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are all the way up to album 277. And from 2003, we have the diary of Alicia Keys. This was a much better title than her follow-up album, which was about eating too much dairy. Oh, what was that? I don't have the punchline written because I actually don't want to say it. That album was the diary of Alicia Keys. The one after she ate too much dairy. The diarrhea. I get it. Of Alicia Keys. And then I had some sound effects too, but I'm not going to. Okay. It was a whole thing where his songs and the sound effects were over the top. But listen, I don't have a parody song. You used to do that. What was one of your parody songs where you did that the first time? Can I tell you what I was thinking about for a parody song for this one? I was going to do that girl is on fire, but losing the charging wires. I was going to talk about Matt losing his bag, but I felt like that nerve. It was too raw.

[5:00]We got to talk about Matt's lost bag. Matt, what's going on with your lost bag? No, no, no, no, no, no. We got to talk to you about it, Rob. Why have you not gone to the airport to pick up his bag? How? Okay, so Matt's lost bag. Matt has realized. We got to talk to you about it, Rob. Is it the lost and found at the New York airport? Russell, I thought long and hard about texting back to this, but I didn't know what to text because Matt said, hey, listen, I'm missing my bag, but I can see where it is. It's in terminal four between gates like 72 and 73. Okay. How am I going to get into the airport, Russell? Like, I just can't walk in and be like, hey, I need to grab something. It's a baggage claim. It's outside. No, no, no. Yeah. It's between gate 30 and 32 in terminal four. So it could be clearly have some like holding probably on the first, probably below the gates where you walk in. It's probably some lost and found thing down there where they keep everything. But it's got to be outside of the check-in. It's going to be outside of security.

[6:00]Where Russell, where do you think they just have a bunch of stuff outside of security? Yeah, like lost and found stuff gets left. Like there's usually like an office by the baggage check. That's if you've got lost bags that are coming out of Russell, I cannot tell you how much I know about lost bags at the airport. And I will just tell you when you lose a carry on, it is a whole different deal than when you lose a bag that has a ticket on it. Okay, because I have experienced both multiple times. And I've heard about it hours of my life. I've heard about this, Russell, you can't, it's very difficult to get a bag back, but Rob flies out of these airports like Rob flies more than he works. He's probably been on a flight since we've talked about this. No, I have not been on a flight, not true. There is a chance. I just realized my wife flew back in. No, she was on a train. She didn't come. She didn't fly in. Otherwise I would have sent her on a little mission. So Matt, that is so sad. So I could not write a parody song about it. Okay. Cause it made me sad. It made me too sad to sing about your missing bag.

[7:00]Because let's get this straight, Rob, your family has done this before where didn't didn't Jenny leave her phone on a card. You guys drove away. And then what are your family members drove to the airport like two hours away from their home and went and found it based on like the Apple locator. Right. But right on the side of the road that didn't involve getting through security. Okay. I can't just go to security with a ticket and be like, Hey, I was really wanting some Shake Shack. I want. I want to get a salad out of the vending machine. If you were a good friend, you'd book like the cheapest flight possible. Go in and get the damn thing. That would be epic. I mean, we, so we've talked, I've tried to, did we talk about this? What is it probably worth? You know, it's probably worth somewhere between 400 and 500 bucks. So like whatever it is, you can't go yet. Anything for if it was a hundred dollars, I'd pay a hundred dollars to go and get it, Rob. Right. But it's not, it's not worth it to do anything out of the norm to try to go get it. I can go do it. I can go book a ticket, but don't you book a ticket and not get out of the plane.

[8:00]Don't they like send the cops to your house or something? Yeah. And I mean, and how long would it take you to get to JFK and then get to terminal four back there and back probably two and a half hours. Yeah. That's not worth it either. No. If it may, if you happen to be in JFK, you happen to be in terminal four, whatever it is. Is it terminal four? Is that the Delta one? Yeah. You know, and all this stuff, if, or if somebody happens, great, man, I would have been awesome. I would have been flying there. I would have been. I would have been flying there in a few weeks, but someone had to make the States when it Comes to what's it called science. I think Rob's Rob's also about to reveal to us that he has been in terminal four in the last two weeks. Guys, I've been living there. Something went wrong with my tickets. I've been living there the whole time, man. I'm going to say something. I want you to listen very carefully to my tone of voice. If you really want me to go out there and get it, I will. I do not really want you to. All right. What can I do? I offered. I said, no, I appreciate you offering. All right. Thank you for the offer, Rob.

[9:00]Okay. And I should have thought about it earlier. So nice of you. Thank you so much. As Rob says, is there something like in that bag that you don't want to go public? Like, is there a reason you're worried about it? No, really? I really, I'm really pissed that my air, my AirPods are in there or whatever they are. Get newer ones. That's what I'm really mad. I know. Get the translating ones. I just got the twos. I got the twos. I don't know. Maybe a year ago. Yeah. There's such an upgrade from the threes that I just, I love them. Yeah. So, yep. I'm gonna have to go get it. I'll give you this, Matt. You're right. I had thought I, I'm a Bose. They're the ones that kind of clip into the, they're don't hang over the ear. They're this thing here. I'll show you what you, this. I love it when Russ goes tech mode. This is my favorite thing. They don't clip. They use this Bluetooth stuff. Yeah. So, and I thought I lost some of them, but I didn't. So now I've got two, but one, the black one I've had for longer fit perfectly. The gray one's kind of, eh. Wow. So I get it, Matt. You get the ones that you like. I think that's a hard loss.

[10:00]You know what I think would be kind of an epic friend move? I don't know if somebody had extra headphones and they loaned them to Matt. I think that would be actually pretty cool. Did you do the introductions yet? I've got three guys here. Okay. You not do it at a parody song again? No, I, we already went over it. I was going to do a song about his wires. That girl is, he didn't get his recording court or no, he didn't get his charging wires. I was like, I'm going to do a song about his wires. Okay. I've got man, Minneapolis. Man, how are you doing? Good, Rob. Some people play to live the game. Wow. That's, that's pretty much me. No, some people live just to play the game. Wow. Yeah. That's me. If that game is held diverse too, that's me. Aaron, rolling to Aaron, I've got, I've got Russell in Minneapolis. Russell, how are you doing? Okay. Rob, listen, I might be too high. Rob, I was wondering if we could get together outside the podcast someday.

[11:00]You know, cause I look a lot different outside my podcast clothes. Are we going to do an episode naked one time? Did we do one? Let's find an album. By the way, magic might got back to me about what album he wants to come on. So that's the, he wants to do Frank Sinatra with us. So I said, yes, I said maybe in the big time hours, here's the thing. Should we do, should we find an album? Matt, can you try to find an album where we could do a nude recording? I don't, that's going to be the live recording in person. I don't, is there live on this album? I hope it's dolphins lament. Do you think I got one? Well, Frank Sinatra in the wee small hours, that'd be going for a naked. That would be good. And we, we about this magic mic logs on and he sees the three of us Totally naked and we don't even say anything. That's going to be so good. And then I stand up and my penis is in a hot dog bun.

[12:00]You said the three of us, which one would not be on there? Oh, well, I don't know which one of us would be off that episode. I guess the four of us. Yeah. Russell, you're, am I out? You're out the dude. Sorry, Russell. We're doing a new, we're doing a new episode. You're out. Oh, that would be a bummer. And I've got Aaron out in California. Now Aaron, that he's thinking about switching careers to be a sex toy repairman. I mean, can you believe this, Russell? He wants to be a sex toy repairman. Yeah. People don't want to just throw those out. I gotta tell you, by the way, I gotta tell you a story. I gotta tell you guys a story about eBay later. Okay. Totally unrelated, but it's a true story. He wants to be a, he wants to be a sex toy repairman, man. Can you believe that? The problem is a broken vibrator is hard to come by. I've got Aaron in California. Aaron, how are you doing? Okay. Okay. I mean, some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all. If it ain't got you, baby. Let's talk by the way, diary of Alicia Keys.

[13:00]That was a nickname by junior year of college, the broken vibrator. I never figured out, I don't know why. I don't know why they gave me that nickname. Would that be a bad nickname to find out? That every behind your back is going to be the broken. It would be such a weird nickname. Be creative though. It's good. I wonder what BDIB thought of gorillas playing a 25 year old song when they were On SNL last night. Bangers are bangers. I liked it. It's from a while ago. Did they play Clint Eastwood? Gorillas? Have I already, have I talked about gorillas new album yet? No, let's hear it, Aaron. What do you think? I like it. It's, it's a little bit melancholy, but I definitely like it. And I've not listened to any gorillas full length album ever Because I only listened to the two singles that I know. But I do like their brand new album. Is this, yeah, this, is this them? Yeah, this is off the moon camp. This is off the moon camp.

[14:00]Oh, right. So this must have been the other song they did. They did gorillas. I think, right? They did Clint Eastwood. Oh my God. I can tell an old person takes this in. It's a, it's a Facebook video. Let's see. Like the people who watch SNL, it has to be old people like us, right? You got to do the old stuff. This is bad ass. This is awesome. This is win amp. It really whips the llamas ass. Oh, it's a win amp classic for sure. Can I just say this though? There is something about seeing the gorillas as people Where you're kind of let down by it, aren't you? When they're not the cartoons, right? It kind of looks like you eventually, yeah. I mean, they held on to that for a long time, right? Yeah. Russell, what do you think? What's the best Saturday Night Live performance you've ever seen? Cause I can tell you mine off the top of my head is when I saw the Killers were on there and they did a dancer. God, I was such a big fan of the killers.

[15:00]They, it was one of the best performances I'd ever seen on SNL. And then I saw Spoon do a song too. And I love that. Man, you got any good SNL music moments? The BC boys had some really good ones. Yeah, for sure. Probably my favorite. Yeah. They did somewhere they were playing. Didn't they do sabotage on there with like the guitars? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. They did like a real David Letterman. I'm trying to remember now. Well, see the David Letterman one is the one where they came up out of The subway steps and sang all the way down the sidewalk and then Walked into the studio. Yeah. And that was like, check your head or something like that. It was so good. You guys, you either, you guys any SNL music memories? But the BC boys might have gotten banned from SNL, right? Or boycott it. I can't remember. Russell or Rosie, we did do a list on that. OK, I know that. Well the replacements also had a famous SNL run in. Did we do that list on a replacements guys album? I wonder if we know because the replacements album list was the best Songs of the replacement soundtrack. Why hasn't he been back up?

[16:00]I did Google Rolling Stone has a list of the 100 greatest SNL Performances ever. Number 18. Well, Captain Beefheart, Astray Hart. Number 18. No, come on. OK, Captain Beefheart. SNL, he that's crazy to me. Captain Beefheart, another Facebook, it's a Facebook video. OK, so it's going to be super loud. Parents on national television. This is the guy from what's I stand? Parkour, Orange Parkour, Orange. Beefheart and the Magic Band. Well, he pronounces that like Aaron pronounces R.E.I. 1980. Now, this isn't doesn't sound like trout mask replica at all, Russell. I mean, I don't know how this bank got knocked off the list. It is very enjoyable.

[17:00]This is crazy, and it's also the most Listable Captain Beefheart song I've ever heard my entire life. Rob, the other one I would like to highlight If we can we're going to win a mini list here. Number 32, Rob. Yes. The song is Maps by Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Well, Maps on SNL. So where is the SNL record that at? Where's the studio at? What's the street, Rob? Well, it means it's obviously It's 30 Rockefeller, so you just go down. I would take the 30 at the. Yeah, I would take the F down. See, if somebody was coming to visit me in New York, I would simply take the F down. Rob, Rob, can you play the music, please? And I would get off at 48. 4850 Rockefeller stops. You're going to be let off right there. It's going to be perfect. All right, let's see. Let's hear these guys. I want to hear this drum intro. Every single one is too loud. Oh, the guitars are going. Yeah.

[18:00]Wow. Can I just say this? That album that the song is on for the. Yeah, it's so good. It's very unbelievable. There's there's so many good songs on there. Yeah. Rob, next up on the list, best SNL songs ever. We're going to number 46. Wow. A band we have not covered before on this podcast. The song is ain't going out like that by Cypress Hill. Oh, wow. Like that SNL. Was this the one where they were Smoking a huge blunt on the stage? Now, wait a minute, 26. Shannon Doherty. Well, Shannon Doherty. You don't know where she was in. Machine, wild things are cruel intentions. Wow. Thank you for this. See, he is smoking a huge joint on stage. And he's wearing a champion sweatshirt. Wow. Go on up like that. Go on up like that.

[19:00]Yes. This is amazing. Wow. Look at those shorts and the bucket hat. They got a guy putting congas on there. There's a guy in the wheels and steel in the back. This is so good. You know what I got to do? I'm watching this. Second to last one. This is number 48. This goes out to Matt. This is spashing pumpkins. Sheriff Rock. Oh, 1993. What a song. It's this time looking at replacements is number two. Rosie, just saying. Number two. Wow. Did we know how good we had it? This comes on Saturday night. Did you realize like, oh, this might be, It might be all downhill from here. Ready? Here it comes. Let it kick in. Holy shit. Jimmy Chamberlain. They all look healthy.

[20:00]You know what I mean? All right, last one on the list. This is from, was highlighted in my favorite TV show ever. This is number 20 on the list from 1990. It's the Pogues with Body of an American, Which was famous for being in the Irish wake scene of the wire. Wow. Wow. Oh, now we're going to daily motion. Rob Lowe. The host is Rob Lowe. He's wearing an NFL hat. Man, the Pogues are fun, man. This is the song they would sing When the officers would die in the wire, But they would do the Irish wake. This is the song they'd all sing and all drink to. This was on St. Patrick's Day in 1990, Russell. This is fantastic. You guys know this song or not? Yeah. No, I don't. I didn't know that this was on SNL, though. This is awesome. This is going to have back problems. It'll kick in it.

[21:00]Let this roll for a second. This is so good. Yanks, they were within. This is right up Russell's alley. Yeah, this is Russell's stuff right here. When it kicks in and they start going, it is up jammed. Let's see what it looks like. He's smoking while he's singing, right? Yes, Russell. The U.S. Wow, Russell. That's a lot. I just tell you that was I'll tell you what, That was one of the second best lists I've heard tonight. A couple of other honorable mentions. Yes, you might like number 19 from 1989. Host Steve Martin, we have Tom Petty free follow. That's a SNL episode, I would say. Oh, man, also share. Oh, my gosh, this is a Rob and Matt episode 1992.

[22:00]Host Sharon Stone and Pearl Jam. Wow, that's on, that one's on, That one comes on Reddit about once a week. People talk about that one. I didn't want to be that guy, but yeah, it's a very good one. I'll say that I watched SNL last weekend Cause we didn't record goddamn, Or weekends better when we're not recording guys And get to bed at a decent hour. It's just wonderful. But Jack White was on. Jack Black is the host and Jack White. So it was very good. But Jack White is not, From what I could tell is not on this list. So he will be a person that ends up on this list. Not at all. One of his album. The White Stripes are on here. He's got to be on, right? Oh, the White Stripes maybe? Is it the White Stripes? Jack White ball and biscuit number nine. Bill Burr was the host in 2020. No, no, no, no, no, he's talking about the other list. Russell, you're having a list-ception moment. Okay, you've gone too far into the list. The top is spinning. If the White Stripes. He has an exception. The White Stripes are 449. So Jack White, can you imagine?

[23:00]He's an American trick. Guys, when we hit the White Stripes, We're going to be a year out from being done. Okay, by the way, I spent last week looking at colleges for my kid, Aaron. Going to colleges and seeing if they are good enough For my child. That's how it went. Rowling, go and tell us about your college trip. I'll tell you what. Skip right to it. I gotta hear that. I'll tell you what, guys. We are in two things of the college thing. Number one, colleges are fucking expensive. They're expensive as shit. They are quite expensive. Second of all, I got laughed at as a tour group. A bunch of college guys came by, Laughed at me because I was in a tour group. Now, do you think I ever laughed at the fucking nerds Who were in the tour group for St. Olaf? Okay, of course I did. And my kid's like, Hey dad, those guys just laughed at us. I go, yes, they did. And I laughed at them. And guess what? Someday, you'll laugh at the tour groups too. It's the circle of laughing at tour groups. And when you're in a tour group, You just start like, yep, I'm here. I'm a fucking nerd.

[24:00]I'm a parent. I don't belong here. We walk by Russell. We're in Syracuse. We walk by the frat houses. They are outside, sunny day, no shirts on, Custom made beer pong tables. Except they're not playing beer pong anymore. They're playing some game where it's two cups On the corners and they're throwing it As high as they can. Do you know what I'm talking about, man? It's a, guys, it's a drinking game for the young. It's an incredibly strange drinking game. Music is blasting. My wife goes, can you imagine being there? What the bathrooms look like? My daughter's like, oh, disgusting. I never want to go in there. They're like, oh, it's so gross. And I said, I would cut off part of my little finger And spend this afternoon with that group. They are getting fucking hammered. It was like 1130 a.m. On a Friday. I was like, please God, I would love to just ditch my family and live here. You know what I mean? This game is called corners. Corners place in each of the four corners of a table And some versions they place four cups in a diamond shape.

[25:00]Players aim to throw a ping pong ball Into the opposing teams cups. High feature. The game often involves tossing the ball high into the air With a mandatory high arc, Often from a standing position To hit the other corner cups. So you got to throw it high arc. Who was, who adjudicates if they arc is high enough? It was just like ripe for fighting. That's a side razzle up. I bet if you would have made that comment When you were strolling through, They would have made fun of your ass too. Get out of here, Easter egg, look at ass. I'm just thinking about what it would have, Imagine what Joe for me, St. Paul would have taken What links those arguments would have gone to If we were playing that game in college. Just be a headache, just thinking about it. You spend two hours arguing with another Ping pong ball that was thrown high enough. You'd be like, this is one of the greatest days Of my life. I should join the debate team. This is great. And I'll tell you what, and then Russell, And then I had a sobering reminder Because I walked past a room in Middlebury And they were all these kids in a classroom. And guess what?

[26:00]The classrooms are pretty nice. They're like way nicer. Everybody's on a computer. Everybody's like recording what's going on. Like I just, and all these schools were like, Oh, there's tons of help. There's tons of tutors. I was like, I didn't use any of this shit When I went to school. I could be doing way better. But then I walked by. So I was like, party guys outside. I want to be back in college. I walked by a classroom. They are literally looking at a bar graph That says domestic imports of accessories. And then there's just lines. And I was like, and the slide just stood there. And they were all listening to a guy talk. And I go, oh yeah, that's right. College was fucking boring as shit sometimes too. Like some of the most boring fucking shit classes I had to sit through were in college. And I was like, that's right. That was sort of was. It was so boring that when you got out You retained none of it. Oh, absolutely. And you paid him for it, Ralph. Absolutely zero. You know what I mean? As soon as somebody, As soon as I saw one sun dress on campus I didn't learn anything for the rest of the year. My mind was gone. My wife was, and I were talking about

[27:00]How she spent a day once. It was so sunny. She was laying outside in a class that was coming up And she goes, I can't possibly go to class. It's way too sunny. I cannot move. And then I came in to lay next to her And I was like, you're fucking right That I also skip my class because it was too sunny. I mean, guys, do you guys have any class Or college skipping class stories? Like, Oh, Aaron and I have one. Yeah, I'll just, I'll bring this down real quick And say I never skipped a class. Not one class. Not one class. You did skip a little bit for baseball every once in a while, But I never intentionally skipped a class. You fucking nerd. That's amazing. Golly. Aaron and I had a string. We had J term at St. Olaf where we had one class For a month. That's all you did for four weeks. And we had a string where we skipped. We didn't go to class for 13 days in a row. So there was either a snow day a weekend Or we just didn't go for 13 out of like 28 days. Yeah. I was going to say there's only like 20 instructional days

[28:00]During the whole time. Now Russell, what exactly was, Cause the J term classes are much more specific. Like I took a class on the teachings of Martin Luther. And then I remember the name. Aaron will remember the name and the professor. I get it. It was friendship, love and the good life by Coral Swayne. Yes. It was a philosophy class. And you know what's fucked, Aaron? You would pay money to go to a philosophy class right now To have somebody who knows what they're talking about, Talked to you about philosophy. You would sign up for that. I took two philosophy classes And I did not engage my brain at all. And I missed all of it. I'm so dumb. I took one philosophy class in college. You know what it was, Aaron? What? Feel us off these nuts, sir. Oh! Bob Jacobo. Yeah, we did legitimately get snowed out at least once. And then there were other times where we were just like, We're not walking on the way to Old Main. It's cold. Oh, it was an Old Main class? Where was your ass living? Killball. Oh, no way. No way. Old Main, these nuts. Yeah. No way.

[29:00]When I had classes in Old Main, It was such a skippable class. I was just like, oh. Old Main was like, Just a dorm that was a tiny bit farther. It was like a dorm. It was like a building. It was with classes. Yeah, but it was a little bit farther. Original building. All the way at the end. And then it was so old, They had another building. I think it was called the Old Main Annex. Like they had like an older building Than the oldest building. And it was cold in there too. Aaron, Roland, going, how's it going with you? That was my life back on campus. Big man. Rob. Is there, can I just ask, Do these schools, is it six figures In a year or under six? Oh, well, they're mostly under six. It's kind of 98 now is like the high. That's 98. That's kind of Mildlberry. Georgetown she went to, she looked at. Like it's fucking expensive as hell. Yeah, but you know what? It's worth it. If I paid 98,000 and she skipped as many classes I did, I'd be so fucking mad.

[30:00]Oh my God. I once sat outside a class And didn't go in because my friends were in the class And I wanted to go to lunch with them. So I was like, well, I'll just sit out here. What are you doing, Rob? Get in there. Rob, what if you, your daughter has like a repeat Of your world and she's dating two individuals And they both show up to her swim meet And they each have a burrito for her? Wow. What would you think of that? Do you think your parents know what was going on When you had two women bringing you burritos? Can you imagine if you're trying to woo a girl And you brought her a burrito? Just imagine like what, that would only work on me. You're like, I brought you a burrito But we have to make out before you eat it. Yeah. Like you can't eat the burrito And then make out with me. Hey, remember how we broke up? Okay. But you can still have sex with me, Andy, this burrito. And I was like, I brought this over for you to eat after we have sex. This is the hardest decision I've ever made. Oh, how am I gonna deal with this? Aaron, we're only going, how's it going with you?

[31:00]Go good. As I mentioned, I'm enjoying the new Gorillaz album. I'm, I've got a dilemma where I end up in this spot On occasion on the Libby app Where I'm trying to read Lonesome Dove And it turns out I cannot finish a book in 21 days. It's that long. So... Dean McMurtry. Yeah, Larry. Yeah, nailed it. Play Ward Jeans. His nickname was Jeans. He was with his Jeans all the time. So then I get in the spot where I'm either gonna, So the book has been returned But my e-reader hasn't refreshed on the internet. I just leave it in an airplane mode To try to finish the book. Yes, Aaron. But then some people don't read. But then some people don't read. But then some people don't read. I don't like it. I like it. But it's from the library though. So then I feel like I should return the book. Ooh, leave it past your ear. Steal from a library? Oh, that's sick. Nasty life hacks by Aaron. He's reading an airplane mode To keep reading the book. Steal from the library. Mom, the one thing I wanna do Is read a Lonesome Dove book. I'm sorry, son. They're all checked out for the library. They're never coming back.

[32:00]It's pretty smart. Wow, Aaron, that's great. Fuck those libraries. Pretty good book though. There's a lot of cattle driving. There's a lot of whoring. There's a lot of dudes drinking whiskey And driving cows around. It's fun. And then one thing I wanna take you back To Disney for a minute. One thing I gotta complain about. We were at Disney the second day Who had finished everything and... I'm assuming at this point, You're at the very front of the line Because you've paid the big money To go to the front of the line, right? Russell, that's a great question. And I'm embarrassed that we didn't bring it up The first time. Aaron, we get in the lightning pass. What are we doing? Filings. Yeah. Of course. It's embarrassing. Of course we did. Yeah, it's awful. I'm not gonna go if we don't do the lightning lane. But it's like a horrible feeling of class division When you get to the front of the line. It's not good. Did anybody from any of the other lines Try to touch you, Like reach out and see what the silk fabric Or what it felt like? Hey, Aaron. Aaron, I know it doesn't feel good, But it feels kind of good, right? It feels good. How do you do it? Because you don't wanna just, yeah, You do it. Hey, Aaron.

[33:00]It feels good. Aaron, I'm just gonna say this to you, Aaron. I contact. When I go through the clear line, I make eye contact with the guy Who's not getting security Because I am ahead of him. To show my dominance. Yeah, big time. I will say I absolutely mastered the lightning lane Because we had two incidents where We got to the ride that we had booked And the ride was closed for some reason. And they give you like a quick switch And say like, now you got a lightning lane extra That you can use anywhere. So I kept them at seven. We had seven of us together And I kind of kept using them when I could. And then it meant that on the last night, We went to the parade. The very, yeah, right, please. It was funny anymore. The last night we were there Tuesday night, We went to the first Monday night. Yeah, Monday. Monday was our last day there. Look at this guy. I just remember his days at Disney World. But there's so long. We went to the parade And then I thought we were gonna go On Big Thunder Mountain. That was broken down. And then we're gonna do, yeah. This place is a pile of shit. Yeah.

[34:00]So it's 9.45 at night. We've been out all day at Disney. We took one little break And we got done. And then I was like, we can do this. We got these extra lightning lane passes. We can go to Space Mountain. So we got to, And everybody else had gone back to the hotel. So Annan Wallace and me did Space Mountain At like 10, 15 at night. That rips. Last run on Space Mountain. He was so stoked. So that part felt pretty good. But otherwise, yeah, I agree with it. Lightning lane, moral dilemmas for sure. Aaron, how old is your son again? He's eight. He'll be nine in two weeks. So you could potentially do Disneyland Maybe in two years, But you're getting close to where 14 year olds not going to Disneyland with you, right? Like 11 year olds, you can probably do it, right? Yeah. I mean, even, yeah, there's still stuff That was like two, There's already a lot of stuff that's too young for him. And then he likes a lot of the rides at Disneyland. But yeah, some of those are gonna Get too young for him soon too. So yeah, that's it's how we feel. I mean, this is my Disneyland era. When am I gonna get to go again? Matt, Rob, have you guys done Disney? We talked about this.

[35:00]You know what, Aaron? You're gonna hate having all that money. Can you imagine how much money you're gonna have? Just think of all the money. Aaron, I just want you to think of a number In your head that you spent at Disney. You're gonna have that as cash That you can spend on goods and services. Vegas. So I can spend, I can have my yard redone. Great. What if I told you I could double that money? Porch rebuilt. Oh no, not a rebuild. We can't get into it. Matt, what were you gonna say? I cut you off. No, just that we've, we did, It must have been three years ago now. We did the whole Disney thing. And I think you're, as the kids get older, Like universals maybe a little bit better. Right, there's other stuff that's a little more Of a difference, right? So there's still stuff to do. Russell, we made a decision. It might shock you. Some people in our house do not want to go to Disney. They have really strong opinions about that. They will not do it. They absolutely will not. So what we did, Russell, is we did a Disney cruise. Guess what? Nobody in my family gives a shit about rides. All they want to do is see the princesses. Guess what you get on the Disney cruise? Princesses. And what else? A cocktail class every day at three o'clock.

[36:00]They would give you four cocktails. It was the nicest cruise. If you want to go on one cruise in your life, Go on a Disney cruise, okay? It is the best. Everything's the best. It's like the most, and it is expensive as shit. We spent way more than we would at Disney World. But, Russell, I did eat and drink enough That guess what happened when I got back? I had my gallbladder removed. I had such a good time on the Disney cruise. I pulled an errand and had major internal problems. It's even better than an appendicitis. Unlike errand, I got surgery, okay? So that was pretty cool. There's nothing like being finned up But then having an organ taken out, right? It's true. It's true. Oh what activated that was eating fat? I felt so bad. I didn't eat anything for like three days. The trip, because I ate so much fat on the trip That I was like, I'm not eating anything. And then after a while, I was like, I feel better. I'm gonna get a chicken parm sandwich. And I got like a chicken parm sandwich and I ate it. And my gallbladder hurt so bad.

[37:00]I was like, I gotta go into urgent care. I'm in there next to a guy who's like handcuffed in there. The woman ahead of me is like, My roommate broke a glass And I breathed a bunch of the glass And I could feel the glass in my throat. And the guy goes, what medication are you on? And I was like, oh, I'm here on a Friday night In New York City emergency room. This is crazy. Well, speaking of guys who are gonna be in New York On Friday nights, oh, actually they're not. But let's hear from them anyway. How's it going with Russell? Rolling going, things are going good. We were talking a little bit about flights. I had to share a few of the experiences I had on flights recently. Rob, hit the music. It was time for recordin' it better. As a head of you. It was a great old story time. I was thinking of this song today. Nazareth, fuckin' rocks. These are the stories that I like. Tell us about the trip you're on. We're gonna hear about your flight time tonight. Oh yeah. So we've talked before about Matt losing his air pods

[38:00]I usually bring my wireless ones. But I also typically have a pair of cheap Sony headphones To put in when I'm on the plane to use it at work Once in a while. But I've got those. But sometimes those cheap ones, they die. You lose the rubber on the ear parts or whatever. So the last two flights, it's been a new thing for me. And you guys can see, I've been wearing the free Headphones on the plane Where they come out and give you the headphones. Are you guys the free headphone guy ever Where they hand them out or not? No. Absolutely not. Russell. But you have to have You're wearing the free headphones right now To record this episode. This is why I'm saying my life is so sad. Because I, you have to have wired headphones To watch the movie. Though most of them don't have Bluetooth audio, right? You gotta get the little thing that plugs in That's Bluetooth. Wow, that's advanced. That's part of the 450 bucks that's in my thing

[39:00]That's stuck in there. Oh, that hurts even more, man. Oh, thank God I didn't do a parody song. If that number keeps going up, Probably might even go get it. I'll tell you, well, I do kind of want one of those. Airfly Connectors. The United flight I was on down to Costa Rica Had Bluetooth in my headphones. And I was like, this shit is nice. Cause I'm wearing my nice Apple headphones. Most flights don't have the Bluetooth to the headphones. Russell, good wired headphones. What are you doing? Well, normally I just buy some like cheap Sony ones. I probably buy like two pairs of them once every couple, Like every year just to have them because they're easier. I'm not caring, like Rob loves to have his big ones On like the plane. I'm not carrying that shit through the plane, not doing it. So I've had to wear the cheap though giveaways To watch movies the last few times. And they were in my bag and I don't, Rob, The blue ones I have, the ones, they're fucked. The rubber's gone on them. I'm wearing these. This is the low point of my podcast career

[40:00]Where I'm wearing airport airline headphones While recording the pot. What are your thoughts? Imagine if we zoom over to see Russell's bed And it's just a bunch of little pillows And little blankets. It's like, oh my God, he's got airline pillows And blankets too. Russell's whole life is subsidized By taking airplane things, all his liquor bottles Are really small, all those meals he has to heat up. Oh my God, the chicken or the fish. They're really bad audio too. Like I almost had to take them out. They're terrible. Russell, you're not good. Russell, you need to buy $100 wired headphones And you need to do it tomorrow. You have to. I have, but I don't want the big ones like you got. No, no, no. But I've got two pairs of them. Get $100 in ear headphones, just splurge on some headphones. Listen, I did it with sunglasses last year. You got, I think this is the time Of your life to splurge. I've already splurged. I've got four pairs of nice headphones, But they're not coming on a plane with me. Oh my God. Because poor Matt, he loses them. Russell. Matt doesn't lose anything. One time, Russell,

[41:00]I can tell you one time I've lost things And it will never happen again, right? Wow. That's Matt. So sad. I think that the Bluetooth dongle is in there too. You're missing your dongle. So the other thing, I had two other things done When flights recently had to share with you guys. One, I think I maybe texted you guys this. I don't often fly with like other people From like the coworkers. But this last time I flew And one of my coworkers was like, I'm in CD and they're in CC across the aisle. They make eye contact. We know you hate that. I'm like, am I allowed to do my normal behaviors On the airplane? Like putting the thumb down during announcements Or do I have to rate it my behaviors Because you've got a coworker on the plane? Your coworker is going to look over at you, Take a picture of Jessica Rabbit To send to us on the podcast. Russell. So do you explain, like do you do the thumbs down picture? I still did the thumbs down during announcements, But I did not re-watch the end of What's the part of time in Hollywood Because I didn't want to get caught

[42:00]Watching the end of that multiple times. It's just you and what's the deal with the grave. On the way back, I'm flying back. Oh, you matter like this. I fly to Dallas, Matt. Oh, I spent seven hours there on Tuesday. So you guys what I, Matt as a first class flyer, If I had the choice of having a first class seat Or having a aisle seat with no person in the middle, In the back, in the middle, I'm taking the aisle seat in the middle of the plane With no person next to me. Cause I don't care about like the airplane food. I don't care about like the free drinks. I don't care about like the service. The extra 15 minutes of sitting on that damn plane. Man, I get it, that's your thing. You're off, yeah. Russell, aren't the seats wider though Up in first class? Yeah, they're not wider if there's no one in the middle seat And you put the R rest up. You know what my favorite was is Spirit Airlines At a thing where the front row

[43:00]Would set at three seats, it was two seats. And it was the one thing you could upgrade. I mean, of course the one thing you can upgrade everything, But you could pay more to sit in these big seats. You should have seen the fat fucks Who were sitting up there with me on this flight. It was crazy. Like all four of us were like, oh, We're fucking huge guys who were, Did not want to sit in a Spirit airline regular seat. Oof. So the other, and I think I texted you guys this, But I had to bring it up on the pod So everyone could know about it. I had the biggest baller moment of my entire flight life. All right, let's hear it. I'm sitting on a flight and I go to sit down And I'm in, I'm in like, let's say 18 D Matt. So about halfway to back to the plane, Pass, comfort plus, pass all that stuff. I go to sit down, middle seat, a flight attendant Who's obviously flying back home or wherever. So now I have to decide. They interrupt my movie for announcements. Do I go thumbs down with a flight attendant Sitting right next to me or not?

[44:00]For sure. I fucking thumbs down that so hard. I did it twice. I was like, she's going to be so ashamed Of her profession for interrupting our movies To do their announcements. So she's going to see what we think of this. Can I ask you this, Russell? When they did the safety announcements, Did this person, did this flight attendant watch? Did they pay attention or did they do what we're all doing? They're all on their phone. They're not paying any attention. I was trying not to make eye contact Cause I was busy taking a picture Of me putting the thumbs down. Like within, I'd say probably 18 inches of where she was at. Do you ever watch the safety briefing on the plane Out of like guilt? Cause you're like They're doing this whole bit, Like nobody's paying attention to them. Isn't that just a teacher in me? Sometimes I'll just watch to get like a... You feel like you're obligated to listen to them. You know what I mean? They're doing something like it seems like something. I don't know, Aaron, you ignoring them? What? Yeah well, I'm not usually watching the movies. No, cause you're on South West.

[45:00]Yeah. If I'm by myself, I'm reading a book Or staring straight ahead or trying to listen to music. So I sometimes I watch the safety thing. Aaron, I noticed you were a little quiet. A few weeks ago, we talked about Who on the text chain was most likely to lean back the seat. And I think I said, I thought Aaron said he's done it. And you didn't say anything. Did I? Oh, I have not done it in the last 10 years for sure. Okay. It is a war crime. We're not prosecuting those anymore. I would never do it now. But having discussed with you guys, I would never. I don't think I have. No, it would be worse for me. Oh, that's worse. Matt, did we then you roll it going? No. I was just gonna, I did another rolling or flying thing or whatever and saying that. I just got absolutely my last business trip I took. Excuse me. I just got absolutely screwed. Just host. It was just, I got hosed. I got hosed. So I'm flying Minneapolis to Atlanta. Got some stuff in Atlanta, staying overnight in Atlanta.

[46:00]So, Nice. Sarah from God's country and St. Olaf. Some of you guys would remember Sarah. I got with her family for a little bit. Got up the next morning. Got on a flight from Atlanta to Dallas. And then I had to do one thing in Dallas And it was kind of come home in Minneapolis. So on the way to Atlanta, right? It's a hub. No way am I getting upgraded to anything, right? But all of a sudden I'm on the list. I'm on the list. I'm sitting back with the normal people in 21A, And so all of a sudden the list is coming out. Upgrade list. There's seven seats in comfort plus. I'm number eight. Oh, what? So I got to say, I got to hang back With all the normal people. All right. So I got screwed there. I was one way from there. And then you have to get off so later, Much later too, man. You got to sit on there. I know. I know the next day. Do you have a preference? Like if you have a middle comfort plus, Do they move you up or no?

[47:00]I have keeping that. I have no for that, but. I have yes. No. No. Yes, Rob. Yes. I changed it. No, I changed it, Russell. So I do. I do have it. I can get into the middle. Some people are middle seaters Who are forced to be middle seaters. And some people are middle seaters who use force. Okay. I am middle-seater who will not play any fucking games. All right. I will be in there. I did have to sharpen my elbows on the way to Atlanta Because the guy next to me, He really wanted to creep over into my side of the, Armrest and put up that wall. Yeah. Put up that wall and you're not crossing. I'm going to open up this large pizza I brought on with me. If you want to be so close now. So then Dallas to Atlanta to Dallas. Again, a ton of people flying out of Atlanta, right? It's a big hub. So there's all sorts of medallion type people. No list.

[48:00]No list. All of a sudden, nope. Boom. There's five comfort plus. What number do you think I was? No, man. Don't say it. I got six. I got screwed again. I got hammered again. Wow. It was bad. I had, on the way home, I had already been a couple of days before bumped up From the normal people to comfort plus. This is how I know this Russell. So, but I'm in comfort plus in row 10. It's always 10 is always the first one for comfort plus. And that's the one where there's no, There's no screen right in front of you, right? So you have to flip it up. But I, so I hate that. I absolutely, I would move back to have a screen. So I saw that there was a middle seat. Oh wait, no, I wasn't, I wasn't, I was the window. And I saw there was a middle seat a couple rows back. So I took that so that I could have a screen. So I wouldn't be stuck with the flip up screen. Russell, imagine that to you. Okay. You're sitting there doors closed. You have a middle seat next to you empty. A guy ahead of you goes, I eat this fucking screen shit. Can't watch it when I'm landing. Okay.

[49:00]And then comes back to you. How bad are you? Oh, the idea that I've got it in my head That I've got the middle seat open next to me And that gets taken away. Oh no, they might as well just haul me off That plate. It's just like, if you're out on a date And they're like, this is a great date. God, we're going to have so much sex when we get back home. And then they get back home. They're just like, shoot, you're like, oh, that's like, I thought that was like the middle seat Russell, But I realized now that maybe that was a bit too far And unrelatable. So I landed like 1030 in Dallas. Okay. And I don't have a meeting until two, But this guy calls and he says, Hey like, let's talk about Whatever we got to talk about. Like, great. All right. The next guy calls and says, Hey, well you want to just meet up for lunch And maybe come to the office. And then I said, well, I already talked to so and so. So no, fine. I'll just meet you at two o'clock. We'll go from there. So I'm hanging out in the airport. I leave about 130. So I've been there for what is that four hours? Three hours?

[50:00]Yeah. Three hours. Just waiting to get my shit done. Right? Meeting at two. I don't know how long it's going to last. Outside the airport or at the airport? Outside the airport. Airport meeting, baller moves. So then my flight home is at 630. Okay. But I see that there's a 330 flight back to Minneapolis. There's 330 and there's 630. So I'm like, can this work? Two o'clock meeting, get out. I literally have to go see a building, You're so on brand. Okay. Oh my God. We get it done. We're going through. I literally have to walk through this office building. These guys are showing me. Oh yeah, we're like, oh yeah, great. Nope, this is good. This is good. The only thing you're thinking about the whole time Is can I get back in time? Get back to the airport at like 255. Okay. Cause I'm only five minutes away. 255. So then I get and I go to the Comfort Plus TSA. So in Atlanta or in Dallas, it's E and at E18.

[51:00]That's where you go. If you've got Comfort Plus and TSA, Get right in seven minutes and go up. They're already boarding the 330 flight. They're already boarding it, right? But it's right inside there. So I walk up and the lady goes, ooh, There's three seats available. You're number four kind of a thing. You know, but they think there's three seats. Cause two people haven't shown up yet. Kind of, they haven't checked in. They have seats. If they check in, they go. So really there's one right now available. And so this guy, these two guys go up And they're like, Oh, it's one. They're on the, they're on the standby list. And they're like, ah, well, if it's just one, well, we know, We'll, we'll just, I'm gonna stay with my buddy. We'll, we'll just go to this guy club. So this lady is literally crying That all of a sudden she gets on. And so then the flight attendant goes, well, You might as well wait five minutes And just see. So I'm sitting there. But you said, oh, excuse me, ma'am. I'm actually a gold medallion. So I actually get to see, I'll see you later. I didn't do that to this lady. She's crying. Yeah.

[52:00]But I'm sitting there. But so then literally I was the person standing at the gate Who didn't get on the three 30 flights. So then I had to wait for three hours. Six hours of the airport that day. So then I had to go, I just went out of the sky. I mean, I got a bunch of shit done And I was in the sky clubs. It was all fine and stuff like that. But it was just, it was the worst experience. I just got screwed the whole trip. Man. Just I was left. I was the bridesmaid. The entire truck was just how do you not drink too much When you're traveling this much to work? Like I am so tempted to drink in the airport. Like if I was in the sky club and Russell's like, Oh, I don't care about free drinks, To me that's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard in my life. I would, I think I, I don't, I don't think I very rarely drink at the airport. I don't need it. Yeah. Only going to Vegas. Cause well, I told you guys, right? Like either I'm going to a meeting. Yeah. That's where all the stories are. Either we're going to a meeting. I don't want to have a, I don't want to be two sheets At the meeting or I'm coming home. And that's even worse is coming home half in the bag.

[53:00]And so I just, I, yeah, I don't, I had, I think I had one glass of Pino or something In that three hours and that was about it. Man, not drinking any fucking Merlot. I'm drinking Merlot. Yeah. Where do you watch games? Like, how do you, When you watch like part of the interruption How do you, Exactly. You're not watching. If you stuck. Aaron. That's the only place I watched part of the interruption. How about go sit at the gate, Just like stare at the wall and zone out. Aaron's all like, wow. That's normal stuff. Aaron, I got two words for you. Airport beer. Yeah. Let's get the airport beer. Let's do it. Let's talk about the album. So good. I'd like somewhere just to meet you for a beer in the airport. Oh, nice chilies. We're going to chilies. Can I recommend JFK, Maybe the Delta, Who can play Delta? I'm more of a LaGuardia guy. It's kind of what I try to fly out of. Listen, we are talking about the diary of Alicia Keys. Okay. It's a great album name. To, it is good. It is good. It is good. I, I agree. Okay. It's kind of what? It's kind of a second album name that has their name in it,

[54:00]Which is kind of like a list that happened the other day. To understand this, You got to go back and look at Alicia Keys like childhood. Okay. Look at the first album, born in 1981. By 1985, she is one of Rudy's sleepover. She's a millennial. She's James. I'll tell you what? She what? The other day she had to take a day off Because she was too stressed. You know what I mean? It was her, guess what? It was her birthday. She took it off. Is this related to any of you guys? Just me, cause I'm a millennial. Okay. Yeah. I mean, we don't get it. I'm with that. Now listen, she is one of Rudy's, At four years old, She's one of Rudy's sleepover friends On the Cosby show. She's an actor. She starts practicing piano at age seven, Six hours a day. Columbia offers her a record deal at 15. Nice. Aaron, do you know what her birthday is? When's your birthday? You're the, I don't want to give it away.

[55:00]Versus January 25th though. I'm the 18th. Wow. We're close. Aaron, what's your mother's main name too? This is a quick question. Yeah. Okay. What city were you born in? Where was your dad's dad born? I've got one of those, by the way, Where it asked me for my high school mascot And I can never remember If I pluralized the mascot or if I didn't And I always fucking get it wrong Every single time and it pisses me off. What are your other go-to save the, Like, do you ever use like first car? No, best friend, first pet. Who is it? Who is it? Oh, it's Suzanne. And I take a picture of it every time I type it in. I said it to her and I go, oh, best friend. Fun. It's a fun bit. Okay. Who does Suzanne list as her best friend? It's actually a debate we've had Because I told her, she said, Well I have a best friend in California. I said, best friend. This is going to be crunchy. I said, best friend is a, It's not a, it's not one person.

[56:00]It's a level. You can just be on the level of best friend. You can have lots of best friends. You can have multiple best friends. Yeah, you can. I don't think so. 100%, you can have best friends that never, No, the, there's like the highlanders. They can never meet. There's good friends, there's great friends, But there's only one best friend. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Reb, you subscribed to this And you're a science teacher. This is embarrassing. There's a best friend is a level. It's a layer. You can have multiple best friends. No. Sounds like a guy who is the second best friend of somebody. You know what I mean? Like, oh, the layer. No, cause she felt bad about it. And I said, no, don't worry. It's just a level of best friends. You can have multiple best friends. Yes, you can. Now it's like ghostbusters. They can never cross. But Rob, if you had a break, Put all your friends in order, Like in online, as you guys call it in New York, Would she be number one? Oh yeah, 100%. And so you'd be like number three for her. No. You're like a great friend, But you're not the best friend. No, it's a layer. It's a level. I'm a best friend. She just has another best friend who lives out of state.

[57:00]Okay. She's a magazine fashion model. Erin, come on. You're the dance. You know what I'm talking about. Okay, come on. My girlfriend's a model. Yeah, she could come to the dance. She's busy. Now. Okay. She's saying it's my best acquaintance. Actually, a lot of people in Europe, Suzanne's best acquaintance, A lot of people in Europe bring pillows Withdrawn on women to dances too, actually. Erin's telling the principal it's cool. Okay, nevermind. Listen. Okay, now I can unpicture it. That Columbia hires all these songwriters. Alicia Keys absolutely hates it. She can't stand it. And in fact, Goes and records an album independently. So she signed by Columbia. She records an album independently Brings those songs to Columbia and says, What do you think of these? Columbia says, they stink. We don't like them. Clive Davis buys her out of the contract. Okay. She gives her total control. And she comes out with her first album,

[58:00]Songs in A Minor. Okay. That has this song. Now, this is her first album ever. It has this song. How big was this song? Oh, okay. So this was the first album. You get large. That's right. I listened to this album. I'll just say it right now. I adore this album. We're gonna listen to it today. This is fantastic. But when the album gets over on Spotify, of course, It's gonna pull in like whatever the next song is. And this came on and I had to get up And go check the phone and immediately be like, Okay, if this is on this album at the end, This should be like a top five album. Yep. Oh yeah. Yep. You're totally right. Was not. This song was, If you didn't weren't alive in 19, in 2003, You did not realize that this song Was absolutely fucking everywhere. And in fact, this album, her first album still, Not this album we're talking about today, But the first one wins five Grammys. It debuts at number one, Karen. Okay. It wins song of the year, best woman R&B vocal.

[59:00]Okay. She ties Lauren Hill's performance For most wins of Grammys by a single female artist. Kind of listen to this other album now. So then all of a sudden it's like, Okay, what are you gonna do next? And so she basically says, okay, I'm gonna go back to my classical music roots. Okay. I'm gonna have less production, No special guests. Okay. It's just gonna be me. Although that's not totally true. There's actually a couple of special guests on here. And I'm gonna make this diary to myself And go kind of more soul, kind of R&B soul, That little less neo soul, maybe a little bit. And this album comes out And it also debuts at number one. Okay. So that's two albums in a row That have debuted at number one. And you know what it got me thinking about, Russell? What's that? New headphones? How many artists? What's the most album debuts at number one? Now here's the rule. The album has to be number one the week it comes out. That's the rule for having a number one debut

[1:00:00]On the Billboard top 200. Okay. So like the monkeys, for example, have like five, But that was before the rule changed. Okay, Russell. So if you're gonna try to talk to me About the monkeys, don't even try that shit. Hey, you got Davey. How does it debut at number one? If it's not when it comes out? Well, because they eventually, Their first album got to number one. Oh, I guess. But because it didn't happen in the first week. Okay. And you know why? Debuts. They were too busy pushing around that bathtub. Never saw that episode, by the way. In the intro, never saw the episode. No, they're pushing around to bed. That's what it was. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Where they're pushing around to bed At the beginning of the show. Not watching as much Nickelodeon, Nick and Knight as I did. Watching a lot of TV. I watched a lot of TV grow it up. Whoa. Okay. The fact you guys don't know that, I feel like everybody knows that. First of all, with five albums to debut at number one, His first being it's Dark and Hell is Hot in 98, His last being Grand Champ. We have DMX at five albums. I would have never debuted at number one. Number one. Let alone five debuts at number one.

[1:01:00]Guys, Dark and Hell is Hot set DMX off like forever. Like he, I think he would always debut at number one For the rest of his life. You know what I mean? By the way, who saw DMX in concert? This guy. One of the best decisions I ever made. So good. Did not play this song, by the way. By the way, Russell, I picked these songs By just going to YouTube, typing in the band And the first song that came up is the song I picked. Okay. This next band has six debut albums debut at number one. So in the first week, it's number one. Okay. The black album all the way to Hardwired To self-destruct in 2016. It's Metallica. My bitch. Okay. Can I say this? That's why I told you it was the first one of YouTube That I was gonna play in my bitch. You were gonna be like, what the hell? Russell, this was my first favorite Metallica song. And I realized quickly I could not tell people that Because Lode was like a joke to a lot of people,

[1:02:00]But I know the song fucking right. I got no issue with that. There's two by four. There's a few good songs on Lode and Reload. There's some good songs and it just got the thrash ones Like the people listening to the song. But if somebody said you that... Where's Molly's channel? If somebody said you aim my bitch As their favorite Metallica song, You'd kind of look at them as skew, wouldn't you? I'm not hitting on this song. All right. The favorite song? All right. I get it. Now they tied. No, I'm sorry. That was five albums that debuted at number one Or no, six from Metallica. The other person to get six albums to debut at number one, Justin Bieber. It's Justin Bieber on the list. We've never even talked about Justin Bieber. 2010 to 2021. And I gotta tell you guys, I played this song. How old is he? Listen to this. What was that? It's kind of good. You love it, right?

[1:03:00]I kind of like this song. Yeah, of course. This is featuring Ludacris, by the way. Can you imagine? And it's Justin Bieber when he's like eight. He looks so young in the videos. Ludacris on the verse. By the way, all-time coxman, Justin Bieber. Ludacris? Yeah. I mean, just a crazy, living that life for sure. Kind of fun though, six number one debut albums. What do you guys think of Justin Bieber? We've never talked about him before. He's always been just like a joke to me, right? Like it's like a music joke. Cause that whole song was just baby, man. What's your opinion of Justin Bieber? I think it's always been that, But he's got a few good songs, right? And seems to be a decent guy. He came out on the Friends reunion As like the Armadillo or something like that. So I think he's got a little self deprecating. Doesn't take himself too seriously yourself. Yeah, no, yeah. He's the one at the famous Tik Tok where he said, I'm standing on business. I'm at the beach. I'm standing on business. He's talking to these paparazzi About leaving his family alone. I'm at the beach and I'm standing on business.

[1:04:00]Oh, we said that to each other a lot. With seven debut number one albums, okay. We have the K-pop group Stray Kids. From 2022 to 2025, they had seven debut number one. Seven debut ones and peers. Here's the problem, Russell. The Billboard also, by the way, This is my daughter's favorite band. This is the one I saw at Central Park And then we left when Lauren Hill came on. That's all fucking insane my life is. What daughter? You're oldest? No, my youngest. So I watched them like sing these songs And I was like, I feel old as fuck. I felt so fucking old listening to this music, Russell. I was like, God damn, I don't get what's going on. Russell, you wanna see the video to this song? It's fucking insane, okay? If you watch this video for too long, You will get ADHD, okay? Check us out. What is it marching, man? It's like, this is why kids are fucked.

[1:05:00]You watch these K-pop videos And it literally cannot. It's like the Matrix meets all the Ritalin. I mean, this is like, this is crazy. If I was watching this when I was younger and blow my mind, I had to sit through like six minutes of commercials. I'm not getting all this shit. This would, Jesus. This is pretty cool. So, but here's the problem, Russell. The Billboard counts EPs. So in this seven album run, or I'm sorry, In this, yeah, seven album run, They've got EPs that are 22 minutes long, 26. What's an EP for the idiots And the dumb shit that don't know what we're talking about? Russell, I know what it is, But why don't I go to Aaron? Do you know what an EP is? What are those EPs? I do not know the official definition, But I know that it's a short album. Typically what, six songs are less, 30 minutes are less. I don't know how it's defined exactly though. Russell, listen to these album lengths To make this list. 22 minutes, 26 minutes, 14 minutes.

[1:06:00]Yeah, this is kind of controversial. So people will tell you that Stray Cats Have all these number one albums, But really they're EPs. They're not full albums. And with number one, With the most debut number one albums with eight, We got Beyoncé from Dangerously in Love 2003 To Cowboy Carter. And I got a feeling when she releases another album, Guess what? It's gonna be nine debut number ones. Russell, those are the top bands That had debut number one albums. Okay. Which you forgot that this was, Because she got two number one debut albums in a row. Okay? This album comes out. What's Russell doing right now? I don't know. He's putting his number one in front of the camera. Russell, look how long my finger is. It's longer than I, way longer than I expected. That's not your real finger. Yeah, it is. Yeah. How is that one finger so long When your other ones are so short and stubby? Is my middle finger shorter than my... Your pointer finger is unreasonably long, It looks like to be. Yeah, nice. That was my nickname my sophomore year of college.

[1:07:00]Now, pointer finger. This album comes unreasonably long pointer finger. And I was kicked out. You know what? My sisters, they had a group. You know what the group was called there? The pointer sisters. Okay. But I was unreasonably long, So they kicked me out. Oh, I never got to do the neutron dance. Oh, that's good. Okay. Thank you. The neutron dance is good. We all remember it's a classic dance move. So Alicia Keys comes out and makes a second one. Totally intimate. It debuts at number one. It wins three Grammys. Okay. And she wins a fourth Grammy with a duet With somebody named Usher Raymond. Okay? This album is the 31st best-selling album Of the entire 2000s. Of the entire decade, This album is 31st best-selling. This album... Is that good or not good? Yes. Russell, for 10 years, this is the 31st... Not if you're... No.

[1:08:00]That's probably about what it should be If you're in the top 250 on our list, right? No. If you'd have told me this album was a top Underselling album of the 2000s, no way. Why not? Over... Hold on. We got to watch... When this song kicks in, When it's the end of the false ending And then it slams, right here. Wow. Drop it. This is cool. That is a beginning to an album. That's like a top 10 album start we've listened to. It's kind of fun. We're going off for classical album Or classical piano chops And then getting kind of into this hip hop. This is one of the interludes, Kind of the all instrumental songs on here. Do you guys wish you would have taken Piano lessons or did you? I didn't take them and guess what? Oh, I took piano lessons. You did? Yeah, but I was never good and I took them in undergrad. I had to take them all the way through undergrad, But I never got good at it.

[1:09:00]Can you still sit down on a piano and... No. Noodle a little bit? No. What? At least? Mess around. Oh. I tell you about the barbecue, the pit barbecue, Something you do to mess around. No, man, I never could. I never got good at it and it could never improvise. I didn't practice very much, But I just didn't have any talent for it. You wasted a lot of your life with that. That is true. Wow. I gotta be honest. It's kind of frustrating to know Like the best musician I know in my life Can't play the piano. Yeah. Just say it. Don't say that. You really should find some new musician friends. Russell, did you take piano lessons? No, I was in the saxophone, fifth and sixth grade, Remember? Oh, that's right. I dumped a challenge on purpose To sit next to a girl that was out of my league. A classic move. A classic move. Matt, any piano stuff? For like a year and a half, I feel like third grade or something, But that was good. Can I tell you what? At my school, there's a lot of kids Who are really good at piano,

[1:10:00]Like going to Juilliard, drying out type stuff. And I never thought it's worth it. Like no part of me ever was like, God, I wish I would have taken so many piano lessons That I'd be as good as these people. Cause I was like, I bet it's such a pain in the ass. Piano lesson to me is like, Literally the worst time of my life. Like if I could think of something that I wouldn't want to do, It'd be sitting at a piano with some old bitty, Telling me, hit the hard or hit the, You know what I mean? Don't talk to me like that. Okay, I'm doing the best I can. And no, I didn't practice. Oh, you think I practiced? Well, you're gone. Get a life, lady. Rob, I once went out on a, Back in my online dating days, Went out on a date with a lady Who played the organ at Juilliard. Nice. And she didn't know any pop songs. So she said, I don't know any pop, like contemporary music. And so I was like, so you don't know like A Michael Jackson song. You don't know a Beyonce. Nothing. They only knew classical music. Can you imagine, Russell, That like you go on this date.

[1:11:00]Why is there this intro? Hey, this date's going great. I love this date. You went to Juilliard for this. Is that a ham adored? That's really good. Hey what I don't get? Why don't they do this at musicals? Yeah. Huh? Oh, you were thinking that too? What are these entrant songs? What are these songs they're playing When they come up and hit? Why don't they got more old music? Taking me out to the ball game Would be such a good walk up music For baseball, wouldn't it? Can we give it a little more? Dun, dun, dun, dun. When did you guys learn that? Oh, our third year at Juilliard. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Hey, you gotta meet this guy over here. He literally wrote the song for the ice cream truck. Karma. I was just gonna say Your buddy Mike gets up at 4.30 every day. Yes, he does. Practice the piano. But he's good. Right.

[1:12:00]But he's now the best musician you know, Russell. It's definitely like. Wow, it's true. Remember when he said that, how blown away we were? And he was just like, yeah, that's what I do every day. It's Aaron, what year do you think it was Like when you became the not the most impressive Musician in my life? Like was it like 2009 or like, When did you go off the ledge of music no longer Was like a big part of your life? It was probably like 2006. It was whenever I finished graduate school And then realized I was gonna not do anything with that. So yeah, 2006. Yeah. It was the first time he had sex And he was like, this is way better. You know what I mean? All that other stuff, not as good as this. This rocks. I want to do this forever. Guys, this song is called Karma. It's actually produced by Timbaland. And it makes me think, Do you think caramel is better than butterscotch Or is butterscotch better than caramel? I'm saying butterscotch is better. What do you think? You call it caramel and you write it caramel.

[1:13:00]Is that how you write it? Yeah. How are you writing it? Okay. Oh, caramel. No, it's caramel. We've got a little class on this fucking podcast. Russell, okay. I would never call it caramel though. Okay, fine, caramel. Okay, fine. What's better, caramel or butterscotch? Aaron, what are you saying? Oh, caramel for sure. That's not even close. Oh my God. That's crazy. Honestly, what's the difference? Oh my God. You're a fucking idiot. I know what butterscotch tastes like, But I don't know why it tastes like that. I don't know what makes butterscotch. It's a thing. I don't know. What is butterscotch? Man, what do you think? Butterscotch or caramel? I bet it's a form of caramel. I feel like- I'll go with caramel. What is butterscotch? I think butterscotch is a caramel. Why is this like purple on my computer? But not all caramel is butterscotch. Butterscotch is sugar and dairy. Caramel is made from white sugar cooked until caramelized. Wow. So it's caramel is generally deeper And more toasted. Butterscotch is sweeter and more buttery. Butterscotch has brown sugar, butter, cream, vanilla, salt.

[1:14:00]Oh, okay. Those candies. Oh, don't get those candies. Okay, first of all, This is not what I think of with butterscotch Is these fucking candies. It put the fucking yellow candies up there. No. That's what everyone thinks of with butterscotch. You're talking about like the syrup That you put like on a Sunday? Oh, Mrs. Buttersworth. And you were doing a big thing About the bottle earlier, Aaron. Oh, it's bad that they got rid of it. I had to edit those out. Every week I edit those out. Don't even get them started about rice, Russell. Save them. They're not asking them about rice. I appreciate it. We're not doing that. Okay. Listen, these butterscotch candies are not butterscotch. I'm thinking about like butterscotch on ice cream. That's what I said. Nobody gets that though. Like no one's like, Hey, what's up at the top of your head? I don't, nobody has it. It should be everywhere. I agree, Russell, release the butterscotch. There's a bunch of butterscotch out there somewhere. I've told you guys, My favorite dessert ever Is the Nancy Silverton Butterscotch Boudino You did say that. You did say that. Oh, sounds good. Any dessert that has a person's name in it,

[1:15:00]You know what's good. Okay. Meet my dad, Chocolate Sunday. God damn it. This is so good. Rob would be the Rob W cake mix. No, I didn't eat the cake mix. Art Burn, this is another Timbaland produced song. It is, wow. I enjoy this song to suit Jackson Five, right? Yes, it's a great correlation. I mean, she really is kind of showing off here. I'll tell you what, I had some heartburn On this Costa Rica trip. It sucked, Aaron. Like, I woke up and I was like, oh no. You just have that heartburn when you wake up. You're just like, this is awful. Did you have to go on a hike on this one? Okay, we don't have to tell you. Yes, I went on a hike and it was not that long. So I was fine. But I also brought a bunch of electrolytes. Okay. What type of shoes? I, and I what? I gotta tell you guys, I wore those hiking shoes. It is life altering. It almost makes you want to go buy those tennis shoes That you guys were trying to advise me to get to. Okay. Cause it like changed my life. Okay.

[1:16:00]Like when I was on a hike with hiking shoes, I felt like Godzilla. Nothing could stop me. I could step wherever I wanted. Okay. There's one place where it's like all these bird eggs. See, you have that, but now you're, yeah. God forbid you improve your everyday life By getting actual shoes. Yeah, but the shoes I wear now are so funny. You know what I mean? They got Cheetos on the bottom. They do look like Cheetos. They do look like Cheetos. And my feet hurt very badly every night. Okay. This is funny. If I was your woman walk on by, This is a Gladys Knight in the Pips And Diane Warwick mashup. If I was your woman and walk on by, Can you imagine doing a Gladys Knight and Diana Warwick? Written by Bert Backrack. Oh, all right. I mean, this takes nuts, Erin, As a female singer on your second album To sing a song by those two. Yeah, this one, yeah. I mean, yeah, she was going for it. You could do it when you're this talented. Right? A hundred percent. You gotta be able to back it up, right? You don't know my name.

[1:17:00]No, no, no, we gotta play the video. What? We need to do a video. We need to do a video breakdown. Okay, you don't know. Erin, you guys notice Rob's cap. Rob is cap. Yeah, Rob is cap. Oh, Rob, this is crazy. He got angry, Erin. I don't know. Can you guys leave me alone, okay? We jumped on that so fast. You guys were so happy that I fucked up so fast. Fast forward, please. Oh, it's one of these. Your boy just walked in. Oof. Yes. Is that Moss death? The most death? Yes. Moss death? Shut up. He's from Moss, I see. I'm trying. I'm trying to. I knew it was what I said. I was like, okay, there, I can say anything. I could edit it out. I won't sound fucking stupid. I can't wait for Aquamini to fuck you. Thanks. We don't have to watch the whole video, but... Guys, she's gorgeous.

[1:18:00]Hot chocolate. Like, now, here's the thing, okay? You don't know my name. This one's Grammy for Best R&B Song. It's actually, Erin, it's, what do you call it? It's a, it's woven in. It's actually based on Frederick Chopin's piano etude. Winter Wind. Frederick's fucking Chopin. You didn't know that. Erin probably calls him Frederick Chopin. He doesn't even know the artist like I do. Okay. Now, Russell, I know what an etude is. Moss death? Do you know what an etude is, Russell? Rob, you don't want to think about it right now, right? Yes. Looking at etude.com later. Everyone just look at Rob's screen for a little bit. What's on the bottom right? What? This one? Watching on YouTube. Oh, that's a comedy show about politics. Okay. Listen, Russell, we're not, we're definitely not looking At my video's watch list. We're definitely not looking at it. Pride at lunch? Well, sadly for you guys, We got to watch another video on the next one.

[1:19:00]Wow. Can I ask you this? Because it has another fitting guest star. Can I ask you guys this? You don't know my name. How many people do you work with Where you should know your name and you don't? Because I currently have, I bet a dozen people Where I have talked to them a number. They'll sit down and talk with me at lunch. I'll talk to them. I have no idea what their name is. And I should. You know what I mean? I'm just not confident enough to call them by their name. How many people do you have that you work with like that? My company's too small. I can't relate to it. I work remotely. So I, everyone's name is always in the, Whatever they're sending to each other. So I'm not going to lie. I was hoping you guys would say, yeah, that's normal. That's a normal thing. Okay. That's not the sign of an adult Who has some sort of weird things going on. Change your name and see if anyone says any thing. You're right. Yeah. See if anybody remembers what my name was. Wow. That would be so messed up. Okay. Next up, if I ain't got you, This was John legend in the background vocals and, Oh, I didn't think I knew that.

[1:20:00]And Kanye West on background vocals as well. This is produced by Kanye. It's a fire power. But it's probably before their fire power, maybe, but. And meth and red in the video. Wow. These, wow. Any of these. I don't think Kanye was part of this. She's got these other videos too, But anything where she's got like the outdoor piano In New York city play. This is too cool. Isn't it? It's a very New York album. Hold outside. She's moving in with method man. She's fucking made it. Meanwhile, just keep in mind her first album went like, Quintuple platinum. She's so rich. They're not getting some apartment in New York like this. This was the follow-up. Yeah. By the way who she was dating at this time? The producer for the album, but not many people knew it. It was beats. Ah, I think so. You know, we've talked about her songs before And we did the best part two list. Wow. Empire State of Mind part two. Wow. Which was another great New York song, right?

[1:21:00]Yes. This song is a, yeah. This is, this might be criminal That this isn't higher on the list. I'm gonna, I'm laying some groundwork right now. I could see it. I was, I listened to this album. I had a good time. I listened to it at the, with the gym today, Russell. I was lifting weights to this album And I thought it was fun. She was wearing a Reebok there. I don't know how I feel about that. Where are the BK nights? This album, this song was actually recorded During the great blackout in New York. Like literally she was in the middle of recording This song when they had that big one. Remember that? You see it on the news, everybody's walking home. Now that I live in New York, I realize how fucking pissed I would be. I would be so fucking mad, Getting out of a train and having to walk my ass home. Oh, God damn, that makes me mad And thinking about it. Especially in those Cheeto shoes. He didn't have any like good walking shoes. Yeah, today I was wearing those hiking sandals from before. I was wearing those around town. Diary, guess who's playing the instruments On this song, Aaron? Three people, Tony and Tony.

[1:22:00]Tony and Tony. Yes. Also an Oakland connection. This gets all the way up to 16 On the Billboard Hot 100. Kind of a titular track. Next one is a song I just wrote out of place Next to Dragon Days. Kind of like a little shaft. But then it turns into like a kind of a, yeah. It is Isaac Hayes type song. You're 100 percent right, Aaron. Fast forward just a little bit. She can sing, though. Russell, what'd you like so much about this album? I come back to thinking about the talent of the artist, Whether it's playing a music, playing an instrument, Singing, whatever. If you lined up all these artists we've listened to In the top 500 so far, where we're ever at, 280,

[1:23:00]And you lined them up just by talent level, I would bet she's in the top 20 in terms of talent. Yes, 100 percent. And I gotta give up props for that. So this is fantastic. Wake up. Guys, she's asking us, when are we gonna wake up? I gotta ask you, when are we waking up nowadays On the weekdays and the weekends? I'm going six, 20 on the weekdays should be six. Of course, I take a bath if I wake up at six. And on the weekends, now I'm sleeping in until The dog will sleep in the bed with us, So now it's like 9.30. What are we doing, Aaron? What time are we waking up on weekdays and weekends? Weekdays, I'm 6.45, weekends. Usually, while this wakes us up, around 7. Oh. And then sometimes I get up at 7.30, Sometimes I stay in bed till 8. Oh. Oh. Oh, Aaron. Russell, what about you? I'm later. I'm late up. I know Russell, but I want time. This is why I ask, because I know you're a later guy. I want to hear it. Come on, Russell. Give it to me, talk dirty to me. When are you waking up?

[1:24:00]I don't know. Probably 8. What about the weekend, Russell? Come on, Russell. Depends on what I got going on. Well, let's say you had a big night, Russell. What time are we waking up? I was out. We were out the door to go get my text, And I was probably up by 9.30 today. Oh. Can't see it. Now I'm thinking it's like 10.15. I think they're a little over there. Matt, what about you? I'm up by 5.30 if I can be, But then there's things like this That just fucking keep you up all night, So it takes two days to recover. Fantastic. I'll probably be up by 8.30 tomorrow morning, Get breakfast made and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So simple. Featuring Lelo. This album too. Rob, you've talked, you guys have talked before About like walking through, You're walking through your day and you're listening to this. This puts a little, It puts like a positive energy in your step, don't you think? You guys know what I think this album would be good for. What's that?

[1:25:00]Kind of a make and love album. College vibe. Oh, a little bit of that. I think a college vibe and a make and love album, Russell. I think dare I say what I mean? I don't know what I meant. Would you make some sort of comment About what you could do with your fingers, Particularly in the... I did remember going on college visits. My wife and I did tell my daughter the story of when my, I took a class at Augsburg And it was for like a week in the summer. So Jenny and I were apart. Jenny was like eight months pregnant. She was huge. Okay, just gigantic. She comes and visits me at Augsburg. We're supposed to be out of the dorms by noon. She comes and visits me. It's like 3.30, we're napping in our, this single bed. Now, take in mind, this is post-college. I think I am 27. Jenny is very pregnant. We are married. Both nude on this bed, taking a nap. All of a sudden we hear ease in the door.

[1:26:00]Unlocks. A mom and dad are walked in by a college student On a college business. And they are looking into a random empty dorm room That was definitely vacated at noon, Like it was supposed to be the morning of. They come in on a passed out 27 year old guy And an eight month pregnant woman. Totally nude in this hot room. So I'm sure there was just sweat all over. And he's like, you were supposed to be out of here. And we're like, I don't know what to tell you. We're like eight years older than you. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You gonna kick me out of school? You gonna make me go to class? Hey, this is my pregnant wife. Don't yell at us. So that was a good story. Featuring Lelo, by the way, Lelo is her, just her alter ego. So she's like featuring a rap alter ego. It's a Prince thing, yeah. This is Dre and Vidal as producers And they were just working on an album down the hallway, Walked in and offered to work on this one. You know what the album down the hallway was? A little album called Confessions by Usher.

[1:27:00]Can you imagine Usher Raymond? Wait, is that little squeaky voice Lelo? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Oh, that's just, she's doing the Prince Camille thing. 100%. It's an homage, yeah. By the way, should we have had an Usher album On this list by now? I feel like we should have. Confessions. I don't know they definitely... Not above this. Rolling Stone does not like Formulate a Guaranteed for sure. Like they're not into that as a vibe. When you really love someone, so funky, Such a good voice, you're right, Alicia. I do. Feeling you, feeling me. Just kind of a fun little musical interlude With the Oregon Russell. You think what I'm thinking Is this sounds like some good organ play. We're littering guitars.

[1:28:00]Can you imagine to go watch her play? If you used to date that woman, Russell, To watch her play Oregon, You'd have to go sit in a church. You know what I mean? There's not like an organ in a bar somewhere. You'd have to literally go into like church, And then you'd be like, okay, Listen, halfway through the show, I'm gonna play a two minute song, But you gotta watch it, Because I'm pulling the knobs. Because you know, she's pulling the knobs And she's doing the organ thing. Is that like, wait, is that how the organs work? Like, they're all like that? Well, no, there's keys and then there's knobs. Aaron, come on. I don't have time to explain to you about organ's work. Stops. Thank you, Aaron. That's what I meant to say. Slow down. Slow down to stops. If you listen to all the instruments Playing on this song, there's like a hundred of them. Oh, yes, it is lush. It's a rotation. And then finally, Samsonite. No, not finally. Samsonite, man. Guys, I think I might need to get a new suitcase. My suitcase is kind of a heat up. What's what's the key to getting a suitcase these days?

[1:29:00]I'm a soft suitcase guy. I'm a soft. I don't want to hard. Yeah. I don't want to shell. I need a soft suit. Yes. OK, we need four wheels on the bottom. Mine doesn't even have four wheels on the bottom. I've got two. Oh, that's that's sick. Get your wheels in order, man. I'm fucking. I'm what do you call that thing? What's that thing called that you can wheel around? You know what? I'm fucking dollying it out there, Russell. I've got my bag, the dolly. I'm going to go. Yeah. Hey, Matt, what are you getting for a suitcase? Any advice? Oh, I've got. I've got bags for everything. We need like a little quick weekender. You got a little duffel to carry if you need to carry Your pillow, because you're on a couple day trip. Well, then I go with a hard suitcase that doesn't Injure my pillow. Things like that. I pillows injure. You need a long trip. I got the big bag, one with wheels, one without stuff, A bunch of stuff in. Matt, you're such a good dad. I got my work backpack, got my travel backpack. You have a Europe backpack.

[1:30:00]Do you have a little bag for like a bunch of like wires And like Bluetooth dongles and stuff? Nobody sounds really. By the way, the guys did not like that joke audible And no one can follow the jokes anymore or three hours in. We did. You did not like me making fun of trying to try to land. We're, we're, we're, I think this is the last song. Yeah, it is trying to land. That plane, right? I'm to land it. By the way, you guys saying I was last on take a flight. Meanwhile, all of your stories today were about flying. It's something to think about. Listen, guys, listen, I know you want to keep talking About this album. We don't have time. I drove in. Think of what we've covered today though. Like an American. The stuff about the luggage. The stuff about being wet. Was that this album? Were we talking about not liking being wet? I think we did. Yeah. There's a lot going on here. But we only care about the list. This is 277 on the list. Does it belong here? Okay, it's fun. It was funky. Okay, but are there enough hits on this album

[1:31:00]To get it all the way up to 277? I don't know. We were talking about the diary of Alicia Keys By Alicia Keys. Matt, what do you think rolling well toned Would be if it's perfect? Rolling boned is if it should have been higher Up on the list, it got boned or rolling. It is too low on the list. And of course that would be, It should be a higher number, Which would be later in our podcast. Matt, what do you think? I think if I ain't got you As an all-time banger of a song, Like it should be on any top list of a song You could ever think about. I think for me personally, The rest of the album sounds a little dated, Relatively speaking to some of the other albums We've heard of this ilk. You know, like I want to hear Beyonce's albums And I want to hear Lauryn Hill this. And some of these songs just sound a little dated to me, Which sounds weird because I like stuff from the 90s And yada, yada. But so it just doesn't like yet,

[1:32:00]It doesn't like leap over a hurdle for me to say that, You know, it should be a little higher on the list. So I'm going to say it's rolling well toned Right here at 277. Aaron, what do you think? Rolling well toned, rolling boned, Or rolling grown? Alicia Keys, diary of Alicia Keys. Yeah, I'm interested to hear Russell's take on this Because I feel that the first two songs, Maybe the second track was the one I don't love. And so I felt like it gets a little bit overly stuffed. I think she was real. I do enjoy this type of album where someone is saying, I'm going to touch on all of my influences In every genre that I love and spoke to me. But I do wonder if it's a little bit long, But I feel like I need to go back and listen With different ears now that I know How much Russell enjoyed it. So I also am going to give it a rolling well toned But I wouldn't be upset if it were a higher on the list. Russell, what do you think? Rolling well toned, rolling boned, rolling grown? Rolling boned, it's got to be higher on the list. Too much talent, the piano's fun, the hip hop beats are fun. I think it's just a great mix of a lot of fantastic music.

[1:33:00]I think she's got to be higher on the list. I'm going to say rolling boned. I was going to say, it's kind of flipping, Flopping back and forth here. I'm going to get rid of Robin Body Talk at 196 And put this up in the top 200. Yeah, that's a pretty good call. Wow. Well, I'm still, I'll say the slits too. You cannot tell me the eight flows type. You just cannot tell me. You know what, there's a lot you could, I think you could easily put it over, But sometimes we get down on some of these albums, But we've listened to a lot of great artists Over the last 40 or 50 albums. It's like, you're not putting this Above Tom Petty Wildflowers. That's 214. No, no, there's, You're not putting this above Oasis. You're not putting this above Crazy Sexy Cool, right? No, no, no. Not putting this above Rage Against the Machine. No, no. Not putting this ahead of the Benz. Wow. It's way ahead of the Benz. Wow. Now, listen, unfortunately, you guys are incorrect.

[1:34:00]And that's because of one part of the You Don't Know My Name, Which was, of course, one of the Grammy for Best R&B Song. We get this at the end, very controversial. It's Alicia Hawking. It's a part with the fling. It's Alicia. No. Hey what? Not this song. If I ain't got you at the end. That's what it is. No, it's not this. Fuck. What's the song where she's fucking talking On the phone at the end? You don't know my name. It must have been somewhere you could have Extracted that clip before now. How damn it, you're right. I should have. I don't know. Well, anyway, there's a part where she's on the phone And guess what? This gets a rolling talking on the phone. Okay? Those parts suck in songs. Why are people always talking on the phone in songs? Have we ever heard a song where somebody's Talking on the phone and it's good? Remember the Mary J. Blige? We hated that one with everybody calling it on the phone. Okay. You know what? I'm doing this.

[1:35:00]Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Hang on, Robert. What? There is one very important song. The gentleman is talking on the phone. Biggie Smalls. Well, there's that. But there's also Chantilly Lace by Big Bob. Oh, no. You know the phone? Oh, no. You want me to what? Are you serious right now? Is this the popper on the phone? Oh. And that's all. Hello. Hey, baby. It's me, the big bopper, baby. But my kids taking the ACT tomorrow, So I gotta be quiet with the big bopper. I am calling on the phone, baby, Because I heard that Rob was making fun of songs That had to be on the phone. Oh, baby, some of my favorite songs are on the phone. Okay, including me, Russell, Because when I was calling somebody, You know what I was asking about? I wasn't asking shit, Russell. I was telling them what I like, okay? Now that I say it like that, Does this sound kind of threatening? The big bopper getting on the phone saying, Chantilly Lace. Now, do you think I really like Chantilly Lace? Is that something that I liked? Like I would see it doily and be like,

[1:36:00]Oh, baby, I like that doily. Why would you sing about it if you didn't? I don't know, baby. Be true to yourself, Bob. I don't remember a lot from earlier back then, baby. Something happened. I feel like I hit my head or something. Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you guys later. This gets a rolling talking on the phone. Those songs always suck. We need less talking on the phone. You know what we need in songs, Russell? We need to go old school with our entertainment. And I'm going to put a sound effect on this. We need old timey guys with megaphone Standing outside of tents. Hey, step right up, son. Come on in. This is a ticket you can get to the snake woman. The snake woman. She's- This is our big circus episode with- She's stripping, but it's legal Because she's a snake And so she could take her top off in here. I mean, that would be good on an album, don't you think? Oh yeah. Oh. When you want to hear about the great- Sure. Wait, could I just clarify? Was that the big finish? Well, no, because I forgot. What was the next album we're doing? I don't even think I looked it up yet. Let's see, what is it? A joke. What is the next album we're doing? Aren't you guys on Tentor Hooks To see what our next album is?

[1:37:00]That has stopped recording. No. Next up. Okay. Led Zeppelin. Next up, we get Led Zeppelin With Houses of the Holy. I mean- Been a while. That reminds me of the- That reminds me of my old apartment. We bought so much Swiss cheese. I mean, it was like the- When you want to hear about the great- Houses of the Holy. Houses of the Holy. Damn it, Russell. That's what I would have had If I would have thought of this ahead of time. I just forget parts of the podcast, You know what I mean? When you want to hear about the guys who chat And then they get up. Like, how'd it end? I've got the perfect podcast for you, Jack. Back did it better. Oh. Russell, you asked if I'm a diary. I found my diary. Your diary, what are you saying? It does, it's on the front, it says Dear Diary. And then I open it up what it says? Today, I ate grass. Wait a minute. This is an actual Dear Diary.

[1:38:00]It's a diary, Russell. It's time for a- From a fawn. A fawn. Goodbye. Or a buck. A buck. I what? That would be the diary to read. That was probably like my diary. Today, I was trying to bash some stuff. And I got, oh. Today, I ate some corn. Russell, Dear Diary. Dear Diary. Dear Diary. I signed up to be on a podcast. Still going. Dear Diary, I went ice skating with my mom. I hope nothing bad would happens. Mixed up the tenses there. Well, that's a funny joke. Do you like that, Russell? The Bambi? I do. All right, thank you.