Red Hot Chili Peppers: Californication (1999) ep. 286

[0:00]In 2020, four friends decided to listen To every one of the greatest 500 albums Decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This results in a text chain that celebrated the music, Excoriated the order, And led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts, So we promise to do almost no research. Here, give me a second here. I got to start my timer. There we go. Are you going to leave that in? No. Okay. Are you sure? Okay, I will. All opinions are our own unless you disagree. People are going to be like, He has a timer? That last episode about one of the worst albums. Nine minutes. This time we're in it. Okay? This time, Matt, It's just like if my birthday And my wedding anniversary fell on the same day. We're 69 and for sure. All opinions are our own unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. We are up to album 286. By the way, that should blow your mind. 286. And from 1999, We have an album made by a band That brought a member back after 60 years. After six years. Fuck. Okay? Did we clap? Did we just clap already?

[1:00]Yes, we did. Let's do it again, though. I missed it. On four. Well, yeah, you were out for like 10 minutes. I needed a snack. I'm on a low-fiber diet. I got a colonoscopy on Monday. Fucking hungry. I am just in... You cannot bring that up right now. I am just doing the intro. You have a colonoscopy, So you have to have a low-fiber diet. Is it a morning one or an afternoon one? Afternoon. Here we go. That's good. That's good. Wow. You don't have to get up and do the final... Yeah. It's good. Aaron, are you doing like the drinks With a colonoscopy? I'm doing it with a cocktail glass Because I recommend you do it that way. Okay. That's what I'll do. Yeah. I don't start the drinks until Sunday afternoon. Now, Aaron, What's the hardest part About being on a low-fiber diet? Because I can tell you right now When I heard about this Explosive diarrhea thing That's going around And they said it's mostly on lettuce, I was like... That's fine. No problem. Russ and I are safe. We're good. Okay. What is going on with Aaron? What's the hardest part About being on a low-fiber diet? Rob, you're going to have to cut Your Taco Bell trips down A couple times a week, right? I mean, I don't think I eat that. Oh, I don't want to lose weight

[2:00]And have mind-bending diarrhea. Oh, I have to be away from my family. Oh, no. Rob what the hardest part Of a low-fiber diet right now? It's fucking stone fruit season. It's peach season. I got beautiful peaches Sitting on my counter. Wow. I had some this morning. Peaches for me. And then I can't eat Any more peaches all weekend. No peaches, no blackberries, No strawberries. It's all wonderful And I'm not eating any of it. That's the hardest part. Beautiful peaches. Wow. Can you... Peaches for me. What was I thinking? And this goes out to Manny. The reason I had this colonoscopy Is to check on my appendicitis. So, Manuel from South St. Paul. No, this doesn't sound right at all. That's what they told me. They were like, You know what? We don't know for sure If you had appendicitis, So we'll just give you a colonoscopy Because then that gives us A view of the whole thing And lets you know what happened. This is what happens When you get a colonoscopy With a Groupon. You know what I mean? You're like, hey, We're going to throw away Your appendix shit. Don't worry about it. That was what it was. My doctor was like, Well, you might as well. It covers your requirement For a colonoscopy too, right? Or did you already get that done? I don't have to. That's the thing is

[3:00]I wouldn't have had to do it Because I do the at-home Poop test otherwise. I don't have to do the colonoscopy. But now I'm good for a while. I mean, by Monday. But I don't know. Yeah. I took one of those At-home poop tests And I got a 50%. You know what I mean? Halfs or no? Yeah, it was only half. Listen, I was going, That box was so small, Russell. I don't know what I was supposed to do. We are up to album 286. I was on a low-fiber diet. And from 1999, Which is every day of my life, We have an album With no granola. Come on, no nuts. No nut weekend for Aaron. Aaron, When are you eating lots of, When am I going to eat Lots of nuts? Dude, all the time. That's what's in the cupboard. Like, oh, I'm hungry. I'll go grab some peanuts. Like, cashews, whatever. Trail mix. Guess what I'm, Aaron, I'm grabbing Captain Crunch. I'm a grown man with a wallet. I'm not grabbing cashews. Please. Oh, let me think. Should I have cashews Or Captain Crunch? Cashews. Just throw some pistachios in there.

[4:00]Those are in the cupboard, too. Do you know Captain Crunches Are supposed to be shaped Like little treasure chests? I never knew that, But now that you said it, It makes sense. Yeah, see? It does make sense. Thank you. I'm actually kind of a genius. Albert Einstein over here And his brother, Frank. We are, I think I've had Under, Under 17 spoonfuls Of Captain Crunch in my life. Under 17? Yeah. Like, I'm probably, I'm probably at like Maybe 2.9 bowls. Like, I've not, I've not eaten a combined Whole box of Captain Crunch In my life. Does that include the varietals? No, all of them combined. Yeah, no way. No way. You haven't had. I'm not a Captain Crunch guy. No way. Have you ever had Peanut butter Captain Crunch? Isn't that what Just regular Captain Crunch is? Oh. Isn't it all peanut butter cereal With like berries and shit in it? That's the thing I die right now. When you want to hear About the greatest albums Of all time.

[5:00]You know, We just restarted the podcast. We did. We're going to head back. We're going to head back. We're going to head back. We're going to head back. We're going to head back fast. Now that's it. Figured out. Rob's limits. So, You've never had like, Have you ever had Crunch Berries? I don't think so. Maybe once. Oh, so Crunch Berries. Under eight spoonfuls for sure. Are you counting Oops All Berries Because it doesn't have The Crunch pieces in there So you're saying that doesn't count? I don't even know What you're talking about now. Okay. Okay. They're real cereal heads out there, Though, by the way. We're up to album 286 And from 1999, We have an album made by a band That brought a member Back after they were gone For six years. And that's why I'm announcing The return of our fifth member Of the podcast. Let's bring him in. It's Emerson. Emerson, welcome back. Rob's right. Rob's right. All right. Good to see him. Emerson's going to chime in Every once in a while During this episode. Let's see what he has to say. Yeah, 100%. Now, I got two guys here Who know that Minnesota fornication Is not a real thing. And Aaron, who's trying, Who says he's constantly

[6:00]Trying to Los Feliz His wife's old figure. Old Fig Garden. Now, Old Fig Garden Is also a California town. I had to look up Dirty California towns today. And I'll just let you know, One of them was named Clam Beach and Bush And I didn't use that. Okay, so I feel like I should get credit For not saying that. Thank you very much. Okay, Los Feliz. Okay, listen, I've got Russell. Russell, how are you doing? Grasshopper, showstopper. Last week, I was up at Cole's Resort Living the life of a wife swapper. Come with me. Wow. Because I'm a wife swapper. I'm the big bopper. Oh, wow. Is that the phone ringing? Is that the phone ringing right now? Wow. No. I think that's the phone ringing. I mean, He's got a call. He's got a call. People wanted it. She just came up to the cabin. Hello? Hey, baby. It's me, the big bopper, baby. How you boys doing? I've been listening And I haven't been hearing anything. You boys been on a break. What do you think of that? Russell, where'd you been?

[7:00]I've been living the life, bopper. I've been trying to stay out of trouble. What are you? What have you been up to? I'm dead, baby. I'm not living the life at all. I was in a horrified plane crash. If you don't remember that, I had one hit song. I was kind of like the original Red hot chili peppers. That wasn't me. That was Blue Moon From the other episode. But that's me, baby. That's the big bopper. Russell, what's your favorite Kind of panties? Because they got all these New panties now. You know what I mean? Like they're big in the back. They're small in the back. What's your favorite kind of panty? If you had to do a top three panties, What would you say? Number one's got to be Granny panties. You know anyone up there That could talk about that? Wow, Russell. You know what my favorite Kind of panty is? What's that? A chandelier lace. Put it in my face. Do the alphabet. All right. I got to go, Russell. I'll see you later. I'm in hell. Okay. Don't get the COVID shot. All right. Listen, that was definitely good And planned out. And I'm glad I did that. Now. Okay. I've got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing?

[8:00]Good, Rob. Space may be the final frontier, But it's made in a Hollywood, Basically. Oh, conspiracy. Wow. That makes me, That's like a lot of podcasts I've been listening to lately. And I've got Aaron. Now, Aaron was recently telling me That he was on a date recently And they said, Oh, the waiter came over and said, Oh, can I push your stool in? And he said, Well, he was sitting at the bar And the waiter said, Oh, can I push your stool in? And he said, Well, let's see how the date goes first. But I do have a colonoscopy later. Aaron in California, How are you doing? I mean, you guys know I dream of California. Let's talk about the red hot chili peppers. By the way, That's related to my rolling going this week. All right. Let's get right into the voicemail, Which I definitely know where it is on here. Oh, yeah. It's a whole different page. Let's get into the voicemail. Freaks. Just like Aaron voting out in California,

[9:00]This week's voicemail comes with props. Hey, guys. It's Emerson. Oh, I'm listening to episode 282, The Frank Sinatra album. And just wanted to get back to you guys On sort of bad American food That the Europeans are probably salivating over. And Rob, I know you're in New York, But Quick Trip just introduced The Mountain Dew Dunker Donuts. That's the fourth person. Apparently, they're Quick Trip's Dunker Donuts, But with Mountain Dew flavor. All natural ingredients. Only 330 calories for one donut. Oh, that's impressive. They call it a bold collision of flavor. And we're going to give it a whirl tomorrow morning. So just wanted to let you in on a little bit of food That's super yummy that I'm sure the Europeans are enjoying. And always remember, guys, Rob is right.

[10:00]Oh, wow. He does listen. He's still along. For the ride. Sicko. You do love to hear it. Okay. And thank you so much. I think we all agree with that. Now, I have went out and I have purchased. Oh, you did it. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. You guys may have talked about this when I was out. There were at least four to five separate people That texted you about the Mountain Dew Donuts at gas stations. Yes. I was one of them. Yes. I got multiple text messages from multiple people regarding. Do not coordinate with one another. No. The Mountain Dew Donut. Now. I'm just going to say this. When I get texts about Cadbury eggs. Delightful. Funny. I think it's great. Erotic. Even when I got multiple texts or Mountain Dew Donuts, I had to look in the mirror for a long time and think about what that says About who I am. When people see this donut. Now, let me hold this up to the screen. Okay. And that is not my camera. It is that green color and yellow.

[11:00]It's like, it's like, it's like margarita green. This looks like, it's like not quite green. You know, it's green, but it's like, I'm not sure. This is like, what is it? What are the mint shakes at, at, Oh, St. Patrick's day. McDonald's. Yeah. It looks like a shamrock shade green. Wow. This would be like, if this is what Aaron's doctor would see for the low fiber, he's Doing a shamrock shake. What the hell is up there now? To be fair, I'm putting my eye through. There it is. Like they're looking through it for, this is what the doctor sees. Rob is now peeking his eye through the donut hole. Wait a minute. Who sees this? No, this is Aaron's large intestine. This is a real intestine. It's possible. That could be Larry's large intestine. Now. No, no, no, no dirty moves with that donut. Don't. Okay. I promise. I just have to write down something in the notes for the end of the episode. Now. So you bought a pack of these. They come in six packs. They come in. They come in six packs.

[12:00]Now. Like it's people. I guess if one wasn't enough at like any other gas station, they got to have a six Pack box of these bad boys. When you buy the Mountain Dew donuts, you can't look that person in the eye when you Check out. I went the other way. Russell, it was like falling into the crevasse. The only way you can get out of the crevasse is you got to go deeper in. So not only did I buy six Mountain Dew donuts. No, I also bought what? I bought the six. I bought six Mountain Dew donuts. I also bought a thing of cheese curds from the gas station. I also bought. Hey, those guys. You should keep cheese curds. These up north are pretty good. I bought some ranch ones from Zupps when I was out there in Baton. Thank you. And guess what? These cheese curds, they did slap Aaron because they didn't even make it out of the parking Lot. They were down the hatch. Okay. I bought some sour cherry candies. Zep bound. Fuck you. Okay. And then I also bought three quick trip button cookies, which are just M&M cookies, but

[13:00]They can't say M&Ms. And then finally I did buy three protein shakes. So I know that person working the counter was like, What the fuck is going on with this guy? I am now going to eat. You haven't had any of the Mountain Dew donuts yet. I have not. There's still six in the package. Okay. Rob, I've never seen you drink a Mountain Dew, but you talk about like Baja blast and Whatever, like the offshoots are all the time. I did have another dirty Mountain Dew the other day with the cream that's added into It. That's good. What is the cream? Yeah. That's the dirty soda. Mountain Dew was very good. Let's try this bottle. What? They sell those in the bottle now? Like you can buy. You can buy a dirty Mountain Dew. Guys, where have you been? Okay. So when you guys go to a grocery store, you don't even look. Let me guess. Get this, Russell. I bet Aaron goes to a grocery store where they don't even sell sodas where you check Out. You know what I mean? Well, they sell Olipop. Shut up. Okay. That's don't even, don't ever, don't, don't ever fucking say that to me again or I'll Kick you off the podcast.

[14:00]I swear to God. And if you talk to me about Zevia soda, can I just say this by the way? Bring it. Whole Foods, which is where my wife likes to shop after I pick her up at the airport. Okay. You pick up your wife from the airport. So good luck finding any normal brand in that store. Yeah. Right. Foods can suck my whole scrotum. It is one of the worst experiences. All we wanted was some fair life milk. The Russell special. They have no fair life milk. Good luck. We wanted to buy guacamole pre-made. No guacamole pre-made. Okay. A loaf of bread for two bucks there was the, it was hard. And then when I went and found one that was soft, guess what? Double the price. Whole Foods and the produce sucks now. Whole Foods is not. No good. Whole Foods is bad, but you know what is going to be good? This green Mountain Dew donut. Let's put it down the hatch. Green Mountain Dew donut, which you're eating for the first. Rob's eating the green donut in front of us. This is it? You hadn't, you had not tried this before? No. How did you resist? I was so full on cheese curds and button cookies. Like your daughter, your daughters aren't with you when you buy these donuts, are they?

[15:00]No, but my wife saw it when she got in the car and she goes, what the fuck? Your wife would lose her shit when you buy those donuts. Yeah. She said, oh, I'm so hungry. I was like, wow, that's crazy. I love you. So these are just sitting in your cabin. Your wife sees them sitting there. No, in the car. They're on this. I had to move them off her seat for her to sit down. Oh my God. What a gentleman. I'll move my donuts just for you. She's like, was the seat heater on? Were you warming up these donuts? I was like, what? No. They've gone to the Mountain Dew donut, Rob. Like what other donuts could you possibly want? I'll tell you what. I'm hungry. I'm hooked on the Mountain Dew donuts, Russell. This shit is officially slaps. This is officially gets the Rob. They get slaps. Rob's field of approval. What makes them good? Does it taste like Mountain Dew? It does. It has kind of that orange taste. Would they go in with bourbon? Wasn't Aaron saying Mountain Dew was created to go with bourbon?

[16:00]Originally it was the mixer, yeah. You know what, Russell? Next episode. I think we're going to find out because I got a feeling not many other people are going To eat these green donuts around the house. I might have them a week from now. You know what, though, would be a good donut? Root beer donut. Let's get root beer. I was thinking of Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper donut might be good. I'll do a Dr. Pepper donut. Matt, what kind of donut? You're inventing a donut. What are you doing? Is that one of those damn square ones from Byerly's? I for whatever reason, like a Fanta donut, like an orange donut, a Fanta donut. Oh, I can't do orange. Yeah. Russell, you're inventing a donut. What do you got? How about like a French silk pie flavored donut? Okay. It's got like chocolate and other flavors in it. Okay. So I think you mean there's chocolate, there's dark chocolate, there's whipped cream, Russell. How about it? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if Russell does know what's in a French silk pie. There's the dark chocolate sprinkles. There's a light mousse at the bottom and the little whipped cream right in the middle. It's like three flavors in one, right? Oh, my God. It's so good. Russell, we've invented the perfect donuts. You know what?

[17:00]There's the best donut, though. It's time to see what everybody's up to. The one in front of me. It's time for- You know what I mean? Let's give it up for donuts. Well, Rob my favorite gas station drink? What's that? Out of the sink in the bathroom with your hands? No, it's the- It's the Gatorade Zero Fruit Punch. That's the one I want for the donut. The Gatorade Zero Fruit- I want the zero carb, zero sugar donut fruit punch. Can you imagine? Yeah. Like, imagine 19-year-old Russell. Oh. Smoke. Okay, and by the way, for those fuckers out there who think I don't do this anymore, smoke. You don't do it the way you used to. You've gotten lazy. Smoke. Yeah. Rivets. Bring it. Okay. A young Russell comes out of the- Oh my God. This is my future. Yeah. What does it hold? Okay. Hold. Yeah. First Of all, there's a lot more weed in this drawer that I thought there would be it Here. But I can assure you a young Russell had a glorious bowl cut parted down

[18:00]The middle. Wow. Man. I got some old pictures. You want to see if this Crazy young Russell had a fantastic haircut. Okay. First of all, old Russell Looks at him usually backwards cap, but when he wasn't hiding it under a Bushel, it's true. And imagine that you see old Russell turn around and He's reached every goal he possibly have. Hey, did you get that job at Seminars? No, that didn't work out, but you know what I mean? But you turn to me Go what? My favorite donut is a, what is it again? Gatorade zero. Gatorade Zero fruit punch. Gator, that's better than the regular one. That's crazy. That's crazy. You're, young Russell would just put his head like halfway In the time machine and close the door and just be like, okay, this is It. Yeah. And then you would turn to young Russell and be like, just spell out The alphabet. You know what I mean? Like you're giving advice. It's like

[19:00]A luber. So many levels. It's time to see what everybody's up to. It's time For rolling gold. And I know Russell has the same leader. Listen, rolling Going Aaron, how's it going with you? It's going great. I did mention That we talked last week that I, I did go to YMCA family camp northern Lights with replacements guy and his family over the week of the fourth. So, And we got the right time. I was, how's your air quality? After we even talked about that, are you able to be outside right now? I'll tell you what at night, doesn't matter because I got that ZPAP Machine, cold moist air into my lungs. And then when I take it off, I'm like, Oh, it's so smoky up here. But actually lately it's been A South wind. So it's been okay, but it was bad in New York. It looked Really bad. So what did you have bad air quality? I mean, it's kind of Crazy. We were good. We got there. We were in and out before all that. It kind of doesn't make you want to smoke cigarettes. What does that smoke you out to just kind of look at what I mean? It was like, it happened to us in 2020 and 2021. And now it hasn't

[20:00]Happened up for us for the last five years, but it's happening. I mean, it's going to come again like it will, but no, we lucked out. So we missed out on the bad air. But yeah the schedule Of family camp is you like, you get the kids up, you go to, you Take a dip. If you want to be a big dipper or a little dipper, You go take a dip in Bear Island Lake. And if you do that five days In a row, you get your big dipper t-shirt and then Well, but it was warm. So it was like 80 degrees. And then you, like the kids do the meetup at the stage at 925 And then the kids go off and do their thing. And so I did. Let's see. One day Anna and I took a walk. One day I just Paddled around Bear Island. Would you pack in Your tin for that walk, Aaron? Oh, that was, yeah. We, no it was a short one. So we didn't even have to pack Anything. That was just a, yeah. Just like drink your coffee And go. Let me ask you this, Aaron. Yeah. How do you have a Conversation with your wife that doesn't turn negative and Where you just complained about stuff? What? I mean, it's like Sometimes you complain about stuff, but it's usually about

[21:00]Like, oh, these bugs and this humidity or that annoying guy At the shop who like jumped in front of me in the Latte line that sort of thing. Okay. So it's All of us. All right, sounds good. Matt, any advice? Do you have any advice for how to not have a Conversation? Cause I feel like just when you're with somebody And you're talking to them, it's so easy to talk about negative Stuff. Like how are we keeping it fresh outside of the bedroom Man? I, I Sarah might have to call in, but I just, I, I just, I Don't talking negative or being negative or complaining About like every little thing just drives me fucking bonkers. Like there's just too many other things to talk about. And why are we picking on people? Why are we talking About this? Like, let's just do everything nice to say. Let's not say it at all. You know what my line is Rob? What's that? Everybody's different. I didn't do Their thing. Everybody's different. I saw something blowing out Russell's candle Doesn't make mine shine any brighter. So why blow it Out?

[22:00]Oh, it might though, Matt. I did see somebody say that it's everybody's first time On earth and that kind of made me feel like, wow, now It seems like some people are being real dicks with that, But, oh, well, but you know, that was negative. Favorite things I did at a family camp were I did some open Water swimming. That was fun with the little swim buoy. So I did like a, I think a mile swim. I remember swimming That far. A mile swim. Wow. Yeah. But it was cool because you like with the buoy You can like stop and float around a little bit and hang On to the buoy. It took me an hour. I think we did. It was like a little group that did it. That was cool. Yeah. Never done that. My kid did a half mile yesterday. Yeah. 13 minutes. Yeah. I mean, with the wind, that's fast, but I was like, oh, This is really fast. Like this is not really, that was crazy. Yeah. I took a lot of breaks. She is a captain of her swim team. No big deal, but someone did bring a projector so we Could watch the USA against the buzz. It was the USA Bosnia, Herzegovina games. That was cool. And yeah, once in a while you could like dip into town

[23:00]Into Bavar there and go to the zups, which had the Most glorious selection of beef sticks I've ever seen In my life. I did a spicy pineapple, a spicy dill pickle. I can't even remember what else. That was fantastic. So yeah, had to go ahead a nice time. I'm out of any beef stick that doesn't have cheese Prominently featured in it. Yeah. I did a jalapeno cheddar. Yep. We did a trip a few weeks ago. We were driving to Madison. So East on 94, I believe round. Wow. Wow. East on 94. We stopped in, what's the big truck stop out in Wisconsin? Matt, you'll know this one. Nina? You stopped with Nina? All the big one. Big steer. No, what's the big call? This is terrible. Either way, we picked up some beef sticks. Line W. One of them, someone bought teriyaki. No. I feel like a teriyaki. And, oh, my airy. Get the fuck. No. Get out of here. We ate these and we're like, you can't have a Beef stick with no cheese in it. Oh, it's out. I almost tossed that shit out on the road.

[24:00]It was terrible. Russell's colonoscopy guy is like, there's a Lot of beef stick material up here. You notice you're mostly beef stick. The only guy I've seen worse was the guy who had Mountain Dew donuts. All right. I'm going to get enough because the last time we Didn't go last summer. So it's been two years since we went to family Camp and I was really looking forward to finishing The book about Russian fish owls that I started While I was there the last time. Of course. It has now disappeared from the shared library, But I did find it at the bookstore. Pirates in Ely. We went to Ely for a day and I found the bookstore. So now I have my very own signed copy Of foul of owls of the eastern ice. I'm looking forward to digging back into that one. Yeah. You know, Aaron, I love going to Babbit, but the town Next door, I'm too shy to go over there. I don't know why I just I don't want to. It's embarrassed. They have it embarrassed. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's a hardcore Minnesota Joker.

[25:00]That's a deep cut. Yeah. Fantastic. Anyway, that's me. How's it really going with Russell? Oh man. I don't even know what to do right now. This album's so good. I was going to share some big news with you guys, But this album's too good. I don't think I could share it with you guys. So I'm going to go a different route. This is such horseshit. I was actually talking with someone today Who has seen Aaron coaching softball or coaching Baseball, his kids son out in Oakland. This guy's name is Kenny. He grew up. Oh, yes. He grew up with one of the pleasure principle. I do run into Kenny's brother to Aaron once In a while. So I was making some small talk with him. And you know what I'm going to say to you guys? Kenny, this guy Kenny is a very cool guy. I knew him better when I was younger, but I haven't Probably seen him in seven, eight years. It is hard to see people you haven't seen in a While because you probably have a conversation For like 10 minutes and then I think you're Both like we're good and that's kind of a sad

[26:00]Point in life. Isn't it where like someone that you not Hung out with all the time, but like took Road trips with would consider a friend. And like when you don't see each other for so Long, you kind of become, Hey, that 10, 10 minutes Was good. You don't know. Is that weird? There's no new memories to talk about, but that's Funny. Russell, it's funny. You mentioned driving to Madison because my, my Best memory of Kenny was driving home from Wisconsin and we're right. Kenny, we're bad boys on that trip here. And we talk about, we're driving back from, we Go to Milwaukee baseball road trip. Milwaukee. Two cars, one cars got me, Rosie, the pleasure Principle and the pleasure principles, buddy. Kenny. Okay. Yeah. We go to a couple of games or whatever and we're Driving back and we've had plenty of drinks In this whole trip. We're driving back on 90 years left pleasure Principles driving. The rest man sitting shotgun Rosie and Kenny Are in the back seat. Yeah. About 20 minutes into the drive, you hear a

[27:00]Beer crack about two minutes later, you hear Another beer crack, two guys in the back seat Start getting drunk in the back seat of the car. And you've got the pleasure principle driving. Who's probably like one of the most responsible Upstream. There is he is pissed. And he's like, I've got two of my best friends In the world and they're literally getting drunk In the back seat. And this is not his style and it shouldn't be Anyone's style. Yeah. Just to fight your behavior. I don't have it. This is North Dakota. It's one of the two types of my life. Right. I was a car. It's what it is. But we didn't talk him into stopping at the Buffalo Wildlings. Now, let me ask you this, Russell, was this This must have been like the first time that This friendship group had made the disagreements Over things, right? Like, it's not like that was a common situation. Now, Russell, let me ask you this. You say it's you say it's sad and I Understand what you're saying, but what's The alternative?

[28:00]Are you going to keep up having the same Conversations that you had when you're 22? I mean, that's just part of life, right? Let's like, different phases and the Thing is you can't keep up with everybody All the time and that's okay. It's okay to have a friends for and have Really good friends for a while. And then just not talk to him Or maybe you find three Sort of podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Or you try to do a podcast or somebody Knew it. It gets a lot of negative reviews and then So you don't do it anymore. But it's a weird it's a weird feeling Because I was looking at the guy we were Chatting and everything. Yeah. And I would say 10 years ago, if we would Have seen each other, it's like, hey, Let's go get a beer and let's go. Let's go watch a baseball game and drink Beers for a couple hours. But I don't think that's where it goes Anymore. I mean, the unique thing though About that one is like, there's maybe Like, maybe he has some experiences 10 years ago that you could Ask him how those went and see. Yeah. See if any of that might apply to You now. But I know that's like, that's like One thing you could do to find some Common ground like maybe somebody Went through a thing, did a thing And maybe you're going to follow

[29:00]And do that same thing. Those are things you can chat about. I don't know what you're talking About, but well, the reason I brought This up with him, Aaron is He had seen Aaron coaching And Aaron has talked about How he's coaching his son. He's been to baseball. He says a lot of texts to our Text message because we got Matt was a baseball player and a Baseball coach. We got a Brian from West Woodbury or whatever you call that Place when he's like wins National titles and all this stuff And Joe from Woodbury coaches. And so we've got, we've got to, I would say a pretty good John from Edina. We've got a pretty good baseball Group in our text message. I would say Matt and so Aaron Wants to enable text. Hey, what should I be doing? Should I be hitting off the tea? Aaron's always talking about this. Yeah. Should I be using the clear? Yeah. I mean, what's better Or the cream? We're like the cream. But I and I think I texted you guys the other day. I went and watched my Nephew's baseball last weekend.

[30:00]It was about a hundred degrees Out, but he was playing in The state tournament. Supposedly there's 40 teams in This tournament. I go, and I got to say He's in the 10 U whatever That means under 10. I'm assuming, but there seemed to All be over 10. I don't really know how it works. Yeah. Yeah. And I got to ask Aaron Because Aaron, how old is Your son? Eight, nine? Nine. No. Yeah. Wow. I would have to say it. I wouldn't watch my 10 year old Nephew. There is a Matt. Matt will know this. What I'm talking about. There is an age where kids go From kind of just out there Fucking around to being very Good at sports. It's 10. And I was watching my nephew's Team and him and I was like, Damn, this is way better Than what I was as a kid. Like there was way more skill. Like the pitchers were throwing Hard. This was like impressive Baseball. I was going to share some of My youth baseball things with you Guys, but I wanted to know from Aaron and Matt, where is the age Where you were over the hump As a spectator and saying this

[31:00]Is a lot of skilled players Out there? I mean, somewhere Between 10, 11 and 12, right? Right in there, right? The better athletes are The nine and 10 year olds Get it better. And then some kids by 12, You know, then they get it, Right? But it's, it's somewhere right In that 10 or 11 probably On average would be my guess. Yeah. I think the beginning of nine Is still a lot of like doesn't Look anything like a sport. And we had like Matt's a year Ahead of me, right? So you're, you're, you're 10 year Right, Matt? And you're a technically 11, But yeah, and you're a champion. So like better than I We had back to back. We had one, right? So why am I even talking? Well, we had one play In the nine you playoffs Where a third baseman fielded A ground ball and threw a runner Out at home plate. There was a tag play and the Catcher caught it and made The tag and that was like Literally everyone on the diamond Stopped like, oh, this is A real baseball play. And that was like all the way The very last game of the Season. So yeah. And nine is still questionable.

[32:00]Now, Russell, how many coaches Were wearing Oakleys? Cause that's how I think You can tell like what level You're at. Like, are we 100% Oakleys At this point? No, actually there were, There were more coaches Wearing like shorts And stuff. Like there was no coach Wearing like the full Uniform. So I don't like Matt Doesn't strike me as The guy who would wear The whole uniform, but you Never know. Yeah, but it does metal cleats. But what Aaron was talking About put outs, the first thing On my notes I wanted to make Was so my nephew and I've seen Him play a few times, but He's definitely gotten better To where like, oh, I'm pretty Sure he's better at baseball Than I am at this point. Oh, and so we're watching And it's like the sixth inning And they put him in at third Base, the hot corner man, The hot corner. He has two put outs in the Same inning, throws a guy Out at first from third And then throws cuts a guy Down at second from third. And I was like, you guys Are, I wouldn't know What it's like to be a parent Because I don't have any kids,

[33:00]But you guys know this stuff. Could you be any more proud Of your kid or someone You're cheering for Than to watch them like throw Someone out from third base? Like that is so cool. Isn't it? That's a huge step. Yeah. The drop the power from Third to first like that's That's a huge step. Now let me ask you a play That this kid who hit The ball and was running toward first. Did he look at all like me? No did he have kind of Maybe a body shape that was like me? Maybe the pants were a little too big. Yeah, they're too tight. Yeah, they're too big at the waist. You know, they're falling down like No, Rob. He cut to Legit kids down on the base Pass from third and I could Have been more proud as an uncle. I was super excited, but There are a few other things I had to share with you guys. Yes, one of them. So this is a tournament And I texted you guys this. It's a tournament Where there's some pool Play. So you play three or Two or three games, the Top team from your pools Advanced to the knockout. It's kind of like the World Cup, Rob, if you've ever heard of it. We were talking about the last Podcast when you're

[34:00]When your Wi-Fi cut out, But we will keep going. But either way, So they get through the first round By nephews team advances. There's a game going on. Second inning of this game, There's kind of people Just sitting around lady. Larger lady runs out Onto the field screaming. Stop the game. Stop the game. She says, I have not officially Written down the brackets. This game needs to be stopped. This game should not have started. What are your thoughts about Tournament directors Throwing their weight around Because people are playing Before they're supposed to mat? I don't know how that happens. Like how do umpires Go to the right field? And how do I mean like, I don't know. I just don't get it. Like poor management. Poor management. Yep. Meal from Lakeville would have been Horrified. Those were my grumpier moments Where like we Ours for this was the first year People were using the game changer app. So that's the whole thing. It's like, oh, I who's who's doing this on game changer?

[35:00]And it would be like You'd be trying to get the game going Or trying to like get your Like these are nine year old. So you're trying to get him to stop Playing grab ass or whatever And you took like you're in the dugout Trying to keep some order to it. And somebody's in the dugout going Is number two starting. I didn't I don't hear your second base Like someone from the other team In my dugout like, hey, Who's the second baseman? I heard Jack's not here. Who is it? I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Like I'm trying to get these kids. Yeah. Settle down like just to get On the fucking app. Yeah. It'd be crazy. The biggest app thing I had One wanted to share with you guys. Rob, I'm curious to see What you think about this. So this is an age where And Matt and Aaron are going to know Exactly what I'm talking about. Pitch counts. So there are some kids out there That are allowed to pitch like 75 In a game and like 150 Over the weekend. Yep. Obviously, there are some home Coaches that are lying About pitch counts. What? So we get it. We get into this game And it's like in the knockout round Round, Rob. Knock out really The World Cup round And yeah, they come up.

[36:00]You've got 50 bucks Right on it. We have an argument On the field with multiple Coaches about whether the kid Has hit a pitch count Over the weekend. Matt, what are your thoughts About the coaches and parents Yelling at each other About a pitch count? It's just dumb. And then Obviously that kid's coach Should not be trying. I mean, like it's just stupid. Like, oh If you get 75 pitches, right? And then if you go to 76 And you got to sit out for And I don't know the pitch rules Like that was with the other coach. Sure. You know, took care of But like if you got to 76 When they had to sit out Three days before You could throw 20 pitches Again and four days Until you throw 50 In the room. I mean, there's all these This math, right? Like how stupid And irresponsible of that Coach of that kid To like try to sneak anything in Or whatever. And this is where game changer Actually does come in Because Because they are keeping track Of the ad bats, right? But then you've got some mom Who didn't keep track of it Or It was a 3-1 count.

[37:00]They maybe had as a 3-2 count Or something like that. So then there was an extra You know, you just never know. And so it's just dumb. I would do what Aaron Said he did at his latest game Which is where he said, Hey, Francisco, Go get your brother Out of that Porta potty over there. He goes in and then Francisco's Brother who looks just the same But has a mustache Comes back out and gets a fresh 75 pitches. I thought that was a great strategy. That's just hard coaching. Yeah. Number six, Turn it went to number 16. Yeah. Number nine, Wearing the jersey upside down. It's about. Yeah. But you guys were talking About this app. I thought it was game score Whenever you're calling Game changer, Whatever. Change your game changer. And so we get to the point And I'm just, I'm just being the uncle Kind of sitting there Watching the game Having fun Hoping my nephew plays well, Hoping the game is fun to watch. Coaches, Parents, Rivets, Smoke, They walk out of the field Yelling. He has hit the limit. Our team's coaches come out. No, He is not. He's got 12 more pitches to go. Someone is obviously lying

[38:00]In the group. Someone knows If they're full of crap, Right? I think it's probably Our coaches, But that's whatever. But we get to a point People are yelling back and forth. There was like a 10 minute Discussion on the mound And I'm like, What are we doing here? Like, It should be playing baseball, Having fun. Eventually it breaks up. They move along. They let the kid keep pitching. One of the parents walks Around the back Of the backstop. Matt, They start hollering At the parents And the coach And the coaches And parents are giving it Right back to him. Rob, Your thoughts. You got to You chuck them. Just chuck everybody. You got to go. Guys. Hey, Guess what? If a kid's a good picture, He should be able to just Able to kick ass All weekend. That should be the You should be able to pitch his arm Till it falls off. Who cares? You know what I mean? What's the big deal? I want to see the best kids Pitch against the best kids. I don't I mean, How do you What? What else would you do? Like have a time? Like If there's no way That you're going to Allow coaches To track their own stuff.

[39:00]They're always going to lie Because they want to win. Right. I mean, That's Not you guys, Of course, But I'm talking about The other coaches. I nobody wants To go Russell. First of all, Sitting out, Watching baseball games. If it's a hundred and something, You don't want it to be longer. You know what I mean? You don't that's not And you don't want to be longer Because adults Are out there arguing. You got to wrap it up worst. There's it. There's a time limit And I know this There's a time limit too And it comes into play. Yeah. I mean, To me, It's the next game going to me. Russell. The only apps That should be involved With baseball is cheese curds. I mean, Hey, That's, You know, Bring them out. Onion rings. Are they apps? Would you think pretzels? Pretzel bites. How about some pretzel bites? That'd be great. Are cheese curds an app? Do you consider that an app? Yes. For sure. They're not an entree. I think of them as a side. Yeah. I don't know you got an entree Of cheese curds, Rob. They would put you In a hospital afterwards. I didn't think they were hungry. First of all, That's so insulting That you would think That I thought they were In an entree. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think they're an entree.

[40:00]I just think bush. Yeah. But I would you order Cheese curds to come? I think they're a side. I think they come out With no instead of fries. They come out before everything. Hmm. Okay. I might have to do some investigative Reporting like this. It's going to be tough Because my problem is The number one place Or the only place I eat Cheese curds is In the Dairy Queen parking lot. That's the number one place. I almost stopped by the way. Russell got a banana split Blizzard. I thought of you. You should. It's great. So this parent comes over. The parents start holler And back and forth. Yeah. At one point, One of the dads On the Dover Yoda team Hollers at the guy. That's why you're a parent. On the game time app And not the umpire And all the parents started Owing an eye. It was like, Wow. Burn. Burn. They're like ripping a parent For being on the game For tracks. Bitch is like game time. He's on fire. That's yeah. Game changer. Sorry. I guess I just don't get it. I don't get being An adult yelling At other adults

[41:00]About youth sports. Am I wrong? Like am I missing something? Like is it the money spent? Is it the time out there? Is it like wanting To feel like you're part of the game? Why are parents? Why are adults yelling? Maybe they're just Standing up for what they think is right. They know something's Not going by the rules And someone's got to say something. I don't know. There's just there's just Ways to handle it though. But it's for sure. So how is it resolved? Russell like eventually They just stood out there And there were Adults arguing for a little bit. Well, I'm just Uncle Russ laughing In the background. Of course. They eventually just Let the kid keep pitching And then he came out Like literally six bitches Later. So I don't even know What they were arguing about. But then the parents Kind of kept chirping back and forth Because I think That's what parents do. And then eventually Just they kept playing And the game ended. You man, there are the moments Where you go like, well, life is long. This doesn't matter. I'm not going to argue about this stuff. And then you and then for me, Like I would air on the side of like Wallace had one where He swung the bat. Bowled it off

[42:00]And then the ball came back And hit his bat On like unintentionally And the opposing team Was like, oh, he's out. He's out. And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to argue. Call him out. It's fine. And then like I go home And read the rules. I was like, I don't know. I might have should have like Pushed that a little further. I don't know if he was out And then like my own kids suffered. And so then the next time It happens, you think, well, I better stand up for my kid. Whatever. It's a small tiny event in the universe. You should just let it go. But you're a coach. Yeah. I mean, that's I'm not talking About the coach. I understand that. I'm talking about like a parent in. Yeah. That's we like the league. Like the North Oakland, South Oakland, the league, The parents don't give a shit. Like they say, wait on the foul lines. They don't care. They're drinking beer. Every parent should just get an edible. When they come in, Just give each parent an edible in the crowd. That's let's just enjoy it. Let's just have a good time. Matt, how you doing rolling going? Good. Well, we'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll stick with my baseball. No, I'll stick with my baseball. It's just because it kind of fits. So we had cliffhanger after the last episode. What? No one knew.

[43:00]Like the listeners don't know what happened In your championship game. Oh, well, so that was the in-house league. One now and super easy. It was like 11 to 10 going into the bottom of the fifth. And it was going to be a time limit thing. So we're going to we had to score. So I'm telling everybody gets everybody's Wearing everyone's, everyone's scoring. Everybody get your helmets on. We're all hitting great. You know, everybody's having kind of a thing. So that was when we came back. So then in the championship game, Yeah, we won like 21 to 10. It was the most anti-climactic thing ever. It was very fun. Did they carry you off on their shoulders? No, but so then we get into this thing. We're little league. So St. Louis park is like an actual still little league. So like the organization little league, Which is kind of going by the wayside organization. So then they do this like in-house regional tournament Where all these in-house teams go and they play the pool thing. So it's good. Long story short, we're playing against this team.

[44:00]I don't even know where they're from, But their coaches are just dinks, right? And like the umpires are horrible. They're all 68 to 73 years old. They've all been doing it forever. You know, like they're just, if they had any sense, One, they wouldn't be umping little league anymore, But two, they'd be umping like Legion, right? Or like something like that. They would not be doing 10 and 11 and 12 year old, Yeah, kids stuff. So they're horrible. That each kid should have like a 14. That kid, that should be a 17 year old kid Who plays baseball umpire. It should. And then you just shouldn't give him any, yeah. Just lay off whatever, right? But like, so then, so I gotta say as a coach, I would feel so much better yelling at some old bag out There what I mean? Just giving that guy the absolute fucking business. Oh yeah. So that's, so these guys are, That's these other guys are doing, right? Like this, the umpire makes a horrible call, A horrible little like out safe, like force out play. Like did he get there in time kind of like he called, He called our guys safe. So of course I'm the third base coach.

[45:00]They're right behind me there. They're just going bonkers. There's no way it was saving but, And it's like, it's guys, it'll, it'll even itself out. So this happens three times in the game And they are just dinks. And so I'm telling the guys like, So then our players are getting all like, well Cause then we had one that went against us, right? And I'm like, guys, we're up three to one right now. Everyone calls versus good calls, right? Like, and this is baseball gods and Brian from Brian, From East St. Paul will like this But this is baseball gods. You got to treat the baseball guys. You don't argue. You just go and baseball gods like when you just move on, Go to the next one, play hard, grab your glove, hustle out, Hustle in all this stuff, right? Baseball gods. They'll come back around. You treat them well. They'll treat you well. Kind of a thing, right? I'm not deciding anything. Yes. I'm not deciding. So we are in, we're playing. This is to go to the championship game of the lower brackets. So we got into the, essentially the consolation, But we called losers break so, and the pool play,

[46:00]We were the lower team, but we're going to the championship of the, Everybody gets a trophy these days, right? So kind of a thing. That's for Barry. So we're going to, and so we're down, we're down six runs. We're down six runs going into the bottom of this is again, This is a bottom of the fifth thing, right? And it's like, we've got about 13 minutes going to this inning. I'm like, well, either we're losing or we're not starting another inning Kind of a thing, right? So it's all along now. So we've got 13 minutes and you guys, it's 732. Yep. All right. And so all of a sudden we start hitting the ball, Three guys walk, another hit, we got to yada. We're going through the long story. Sure. We get to the, where the tying run is at second base. So guys on first and second, but the winning run is on second base. All right. So this guy goes almost past ball. This guy's that's, now we're at second and third. It's 743 games over at 745, right?

[47:00]We can't, we're not going to start anything. All right. So another pass ball goes and all of a sudden we, we tied. I'm trying to remember. I did, we tied, but then ultimately we, we win the game of this guy And first who keeps coming around. So this is, yeah. So we score the winning run at 744 and there's two outs. So we can just keep playing, right? So we're still up. We still have our ups, but the fucking donkey from first base Who's now he keeps running. He's our best player. We take the lead. So we're fine. But he wants to go up too. So he gets tagged out. No lie at like 744 58 seconds kind of a thing. Right. And I'm like, motherfucker, he just had one more pitch. So these guys, donkey, the whole time, donkey, the whole time. I mean, these other coaches, donkey's whole time. So I know I'm looking at the clock. So, okay, things over. So I walked by the home plate up fire. I go, what time you got? And he looks at his clock 745 ago. Does that mean games over? He goes, yep, games over.

[48:00]And so they come out and they're, they're arguing for a Half hour kind of line up guys. Games over. Let's go kind of a thing. So then after the speech after the game was baseball guides, Guys, baseball guys, you treat them well. You treat up fires, right? Good things happen. So that was my baseball story for the week, Russell. But I did feel like I kind of like we could have Started in another inning, right? But fuck those coaches over there. Like there'd be a dinks screw those guys. They're nice guys. I wouldn't have said anything. Eric and Rob, you don't know this. I actually went and supported Matt and watched his kids Team and his kids play and the most proud part of it Was when Matt afterwards, he went down and got done Yelling at the op. And I went and stood on the nail file that his kid threw On the floor. Joe. Yeah, yeah. Bill necrow. No, no, no, I'm probably calling that scuffing. All right, Rob rolling going. How's it going with you? You got some baseball stories, some good coaching Stories for us. Oh, it's time for back.

[49:00]Did it better? I had the worst light of my life the other day. All right. All right. These are the stories that I like. Tell us about the trip you're on. We're going to hear about your fly tonight. Oh, yeah. Flying to Minnesota from New York. I've got the dog. Okay. Oh, we are going out. Your dog flies on the plane. He's just go underneath. He's flying on like first class with you flying out of JF. You buy one of those. Do you buy one of those fake, what do you call Him that rescue dog, emotional support dog? Do you get one of those and put it? No, no, no, I need emotional support. He's not given any. Yeah. I saved that for my emotional support miniature pony That's on the seat. I used to be listen that was so the whole that We're it's bad going to JFK. I mistime it. We're running to the gate. Okay. Everything's in a big rush. We're running to the gate.

[50:00]In fact, it's so bad that I have to stop and buy cheese In the airport. Okay. I have to give the dog his tranquilizer pill to go Into the thing. So I've given him his tranquilizer pill a little late. So it's a big scramble. We get there five minutes before the gates close. I'm sweating. I'm carrying this dog. I get on right. So we're flying the dog. We take off and the dog is in this pack underneath And I've got him zipped in and he starts scratching And he starts scratching and he starts Klon. I'm like, okay, this pill is going to kick in. It's going to be fine. Don't worry about it. It doesn't kick in. Put him up on my lap. Okay. In the case still he's scratching, he's scratching And all of a sudden he stops scratching. I'm like, oh, this is good. Oh, no. And then I smell it and it's one of the worst smells. You can possibly smell kind of plain. Now at this point, of course, the first person I immediately thought it was Matt. And I was like, boy, we left. We laughed so hard of that story.

[51:00]The baseball gods indeed. We laughed so hard. I turned to Amelia who's sitting next to me And I say, it's happened. And I just get up the window. I just get up and I go back to the bathroom. Okay. Now, of course, both bathrooms full at this point. Okay. Now this is a two and a half hour flight. There is two hours and 15 minutes left. This was like right when the seatbelt sign turned on. So I am standing back there with the flight attendants Who are prepping the drink carts. And I look and there's just this door that says open. Pull this lever to open. And I was like, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it right now. All I got to do is pull that lever. The dog and I would be out of this plane And everything would be fixed. Does not happen. Person comes out of the bathroom. I rush in. I open up the dog container and sure enough, The dog has taken a dump all over this carrier, Has stepped in it. So I take the dog over this in an airplane bathroom.

[52:00]So the first thing I do, I take the, And it smells just terrible. And I'm just like, this is really bad. So I take the dog out, right? The dog, the pill I gave the dog has now kicked him. So the dog is totally knocked out. The dog is high as hell on the ground. Okay. He's just like in an airplane bathroom, Standing on the ground, airplane bathroom. So the first thing I do cause I'm smart is I say, I got to take off my shirt because if any of this Gets on my shirt, I can't, you pooped out, You shit yourself. I can't replace it. So I take my shirt off, right? Oh, oh my God. I look, I go to the sink. The sink is taped over. The sink is out of commission. There is no sink working. Instead, now I want to remind you, I have paid about $1,600 for the two tickets For this flight. There are 10 wet wipes taped to the mirror And individual packages.

[53:00]So here I am holding this container of dog poop And I have 10 wet wipes to take care of it. And I was like, This is one of my greatest challenges. And your shirt's off now at this point. My shirt's off. So now I break open the tarps off. We call that these days tarps off. Stay fair. How about your pants? The pants are on. Okay. Cause the pants stay out. I didn't want to go crazy, Russell. So I am now digging into this Kleenex box. I break open the Kleenex box. I am getting out as many Kleenex as I can. I am cleaning. And of course immediately somebody starts pounding On the door. So here I am with a dog who has passed out on the ground. No shirt on. I have no shirt on. And I am just taking Kleenex after Kleenex. And I said, I am busy in here. I was like, what do you think is happening in here? The door is locked. We're in an airplane bathroom. What do you think is happening? I take the liner out. I stuff it down. I actually get this thing clean. Now in the back of my mind, I'm thinking to myself,

[54:00]Oh, my daughter was sitting next to me. At any moment is she going to show up at the bathroom door And say, hey dad, is there anything I can do to help? No chance. There is 0% chance. You know what though? To be fair Rob. Yes. I believe some members of your family said you didn't need A dog last year. You insisted on doing it anyways. So I don't think she needed to help you at all. This is on you. I'm editing all that out. That's disgusting that you would even say that, Russell. That's getting chopped out. I had the same thought. She's like, I don't want the duff. Yeah. Well, I also realized as I'm doing this, I realized that It smelled so bad and I got up and left. I'm sure everybody turned around and looked at her. You know what I mean? Like she was just sitting there next to me like, So I get it all clean. I get the dog mostly clean. I head back to the seat and I go and sit down and my Daughter's like, Oh, I have this giant package of wet wipes. Do you want any time? Like what were you doing the whole time? So guys, I was on a plane.

[55:00]The dog pooped in the carrier. I had to take the whole lining out, throw it down deep In the garbage, cleaned it up. Guess what worked out just fine. Okay. And now that and unfortunate and unfortunately my daughter Also has a friend along. So this story is extra bad because the friend is also Kind of sitting there seeing this scene, probably what Actually is the worst day for me of this whole summer. Like it was bad when you're in that bathroom. Cause what I'm thinking Russell is what if I don't Get this dog clean and I got to go out and sit there For a two hour flight with a dog. You got to pull some sort of emergency lever. You got to take everyone down. I got to go. I got to go. Whatever. Who was that guy who jumped out of the plane With all the money? That would be me with the dog. I was trying to figure that out too. Is it air Bud Cooper? Yeah. DB Cooper. It's either listen. It's either air Bud or DB Cooper. We simply don't have the time to think about it. We got to move on. We got to talk about the album. We're always confusing air Bud and DB Cooper on this show. So anyway, for those of you that think you're having a bad day.

[56:00]I was. It was bad. Don't take your dog on the plane. Yeah. We used to live in a world where people didn't do this. You're like, I could smell that in my nose right now. Just hearing the story. I know like it's bad and actually, and you know what? And what I realized was everybody sitting there is like, This is the worst flight. It smells so bad. Guess what? They're actually not having the worst flight. I'm having the worst flight with the wet wipes in the bathroom. But the real thing is everyone is what they're thinking. There's probably 5% of the people on there that also travel with dogs And everyone else realizes it's a completely antisocial thing to do To take a dog on a plane. And everyone else is looking at you like there's something wrong with you. There's probably one or two people that have like, If you had a baby on the plane Rob, there'd probably be a lot of people That maybe had a baby or are going to have one at some point That are going to have empathy for you. But for a dog, most people realize it's antisocial behavior.

[57:00]They don't, they're pissing you. And I'll tell you what, they should have empathy. If you have a baby, oh my God, that was like 10 years of my life. I used to do all this fun stuff and that all just dried up. I couldn't believe it. Remember changing diapers when the baby and like, how bad? Oh, and just the stuff everywhere. Carrying those diaper bags everywhere and then having to get like The formula and the strollers and like, how do you travel? How do you live your life like that anymore? I mean, it's just, There's been two people in my life who have vomited into my mouth And it's my two kids. Listen, we are talking about californication and listen By the red hot chili peppers. Okay. Big story. Here's John for now, right? John for Shantae is the guitar player for the red hot chili Peppers. He was on blood sugar sex magic. Okay. He then says, Hey, I'm really freaked out by how famous this Is making us. So he starts saying it with me doing heroin and loses all

[58:00]His teeth and lives in a house somewhere. And he, he, he has sold like tons of albums. He, he's out of the band. By the way, this is the band's seventh album. Blood sugar sex magic was their fifth pretty sure. This is the second time he's done something like this too. Who for Shantae? John for Shantae, isn't he? Yeah, right? Well, they had that. Oh, he came in at he came in after the one Dude, the other guitars died. Yeah. Before between this is when red hot chili peppers, which I very strongly remember released one hot minute, Which is where coming off of blood sugar sex magic, They released one hot minute with John for Shantae With a Dave Navarro from Jane's addiction as their Guitar, right? That album, not good. I do not care for that album very much. Hey, Rob, let's talk, let's talk Dave Navarro for real. Why do we know Dave Navarro? Because he had sex with Carmen Electra. Right. Is that what we're thinking? I mean, that's what we're all thinking. All right. Yeah. Was it he married to Carmen Electra? Yes, yes. And so you imagine he also hosted that tattoo reality

[59:00]Show when like, when every reality show was like, Do you think what he got hired for this? He's like, this is the best day of my, wait a minute. No, I had sex with Carmen Electra. That was the best day of my life. So basically, Rick Rubin is producing this album. And I just want to say this about Rick Rubin. Rick Rubin, suck my balls. Did you see that he's doing a crypto ad now? Did you see he's doing advertisements for crypto? Dude, can I just say this? Do celebrities have any shame anymore? Seth Rogen is in like a DoorDash ad. Are celebrities ever going to stop doing these ads? Or is this just our life from now on? What's wrong with DoorDash? They're getting 10 million bucks to do them. You, should Rick Rubin be doing a crypto ad? Let me ask you that. Doesn't that make you feel ill inside? I'm not a crypto guy. So I'm going to say no. But the dude makes good music. And he's got to do a crypto ad? Russell, we should be shaming celebrities for doing These commercials. 100%.

[1:00:00]What? He's, it used to be about selling out. It used to be, you used to be thought of a sell out If you did that stuff. That's terrible. Just so you know, blowing out Rick Rubin's candle Doesn't make your shine any brighter. Just imagine looking at Rick Rubin and being like, This should be the face of our product. You know what I mean? This guy who looks like he's been doing heroin And lost all of his teeth under the bridge. Anyway, so here's the thing. Okay, fine. You guys don't agree with me. They actually who they wanted to produce This album was David Bowie. Can you imagine if they got David Bowie to come in And produce this album? Hold on, hold on. Dave, no, it wouldn't be any better. This album fucking whales. David Bowie doesn't make any difference on this. Well, I'm going to say one thing about this album. I've got one gripe with this album And I think this album, the drummers Chad Smith From St. Paul, I think this album, you see Chad Smith Going nuts on this album. I know you've got Flea. I know you've got for Shentee. I think the drums are what makes this album. I think he's got a lot of really interesting drumming If you really listen, but I am going to say this.

[1:01:00]This album is released in 1999. This is the peak of the loudness war. This album is absolutely compressed to shit. And I want to show you guys something That our viewers at home can't see. This is noises. This was the last album. Do you see all these little spikes here? All the kind of changes. I'm showing us pictures of like. The little spiky thing is where the music goes. Yeah. So there's wave files And they kind of go up and down. Look at Californication. Oh, it's it's great. Oh, all squares. This album is absolutely compressed to shit out of it. And if you go on a lot of like music forums, People will say this album is terribly produced. It's it does not sound very good. Now it is true. I was listening to this for a little bit, Finishing up the back half of it on my Clipsch3 speaker, Bluetooth speaker for a little bit today. And I had to have my phone on the lowest level Because it was blaring. It is a loud album. It's a loud album. This would have been CD time. So I wonder why was that like this?

[1:02:00]This should have been the easiest time To put out high quality audio, right? I think it's because it's made for radio and they didn't care. They wanted it to be louder on the radio. I mean, I think that's your car. Yeah, I think it's louder on TV. Mm hmm. Now, to promote this album, think about this. They went around and if you wrote a really good essay, Red Hot Chili Peppers would come and be the band at your prom. So can you imagine that in 1999, You go to prom and you fucking hear this Around the world? This is a great intro to this out, by the way, You know exactly what you're getting back. I know you're a pro jam guy and I've heard about smoother bands. I don't remember what you thought of the last Red Hot Chili Peppers. What are your thoughts? Because I when I hear this, I'm like, I feel like you would love this. I love it. So like blood sugar sex magic, right? Like kind of the ones before they're very funky and hippy And like I don't almost like punk rock band. You know, but like this one came out

[1:03:00]And this is probably my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers album. You know, even how good blood sugar sex magic is like, But this is an actual like rock album. This whips a lot of sass. There's almost no tracks on this. There's almost no skips on this album. I think this is as close to a perfect album as we've heard In a long time. And part of this is I was talking to Matt before You guys got on. I've listened to this song, this album front to back Tons of time. I got this album actually when I was in Russia in college, I found a place that sold bootleg CDs. So I bought a bunch of computer games and a bunch of albums And this was the only one that worked. Okay. Turns out there's a flaw in the system. Okay. But I then I put this on. I started getting into like iPods. And of course, Aaron, do you think I bought an Apple IPod or did I buy the Arcos? Oh, no, no, no, no. Or did I buy the Arcos media player, which was both More expensive, bigger and didn't work as well? Of course I did. This was on there. This was on like my phone music. I heard this album so many different times. Listen to this bass on parallel universe.

[1:04:00]This album debuted at number five got all the way up to Number three on the billboard 200. It did not hit number one. Can you believe that? What was ahead of this? I can't imagine. What about you, Russell? Do you listen to this album a lot or is this a first time For you or what? I was never an album guy, but I will say this. I kind of want to save it for another few songs to share Some. One thing I wanted to share about Red Hot Chili Peppers. You cannot find their version of Love Roller Coaster On Spotify. Maybe Aaron knows like that the, the Bealus and Butthead Version of that Love Roller Coaster is not available On streaming. Now I was wondering if you maybe knew why That is. I think a lot of soundtracks didn't. Yeah. I feel like some, I think that's common to me. It seems like that happens with soundtracks because It, I mean it happens to Space Jam, but that might Be like a different issue, but half more than half Of Space Jam was not available at fucking anywhere.

[1:05:00]You should be setting up a home network and downloading All your media. You can't find the Monsters album anywhere. I'll say it again. Space Jam on vinyl. You should buy it. You should be owning all your, you should be owning All your media for sure. However, if you want to listen to, I believe I Can fly guilt free. You can check out Yolanda Adams recording and then You can enjoy it. Scar tissue. This one a Grammy in 2000 for best rock song. Man, we talked about Steve Kropper last week and This feels like a direct lineage in the guitar Mix from Steve Kropper. Yeah. I mean, you can hear how talented for Shantae is. And it's the thing is, is that he's not playing like Crazy solos, but his riffs on this album are So listenable and like you think about under The bridge and then songs like songs Like listen to this. Oh, this is it. Other side. So good album. Slays.

[1:06:00]This is legit. I'll say it now. I was going to save it for like after Californication. This isn't even one of my favorite bands, but like When I see like four of the first six songs, if You've got around the world, scar tissue, other side Californication, I'm going to like Metallica Black. I'm going to like the song, the albums where They've got just crushing amazing songs. Like we haven't heard albums like this in months Where there's like, these are hits all over this thing. This is so good. I mean, the idea that people at Red Hat at Roy's Home were like, okay, Nielsen Schmielsen. This is not bad. This doesn't whoop the shit out of the thing we Listened to a week ago. Come on. It's, it's true. I mean, but like Nielsen Schmielsen versus Like this album to me just has All good songs. I mean, even this, get on top. This is a good album. But it doesn't have this list of this. Now imagine Nielsen Schmielsen if it had this. Now, the only criticism I will say for this album is

[1:07:00]That I think it does highlight criticism. How many only criticisms are we counting now? Of course, you might think it will say it for a second time. The only, you might think of Anthony Kitas as of Course the guy from the movie Point Break who almost Gets his face put into the lawnmower or actually He gets shot in the balls, I think, but. His lyrics are not the deepest lyrics. You know what I mean? Like, and they're fun and they're dinky and, but you Know, he does sing like, bang a ding dong. Matt talked about this. It's not all about the lyrics. It's about how the sound makes you feel. I don't think it matters. They are a live band, right? Like they, Anthony Kitas' role in life is to not Come up with a couple of quips here and there, right? It is to, you better be wearing two pairs of socks When you go to their concerts because they're

[1:08:00]Going to get one, at least one pair is going to get Rocked off. He's a front man. He is like the definition of a front man for a rock And roll band. My favorite live band is a Likini's juice. Okay. We haven't talked about it. I'm going to say it's a pectidabetter.com, which What's playing now, Ron? Let's see what's playing. The pectidabetter.com folks go to pectidabetter.com. We've got Rihanna playing right now. The top three songs that are added to the Deluxe Edition. Wow. By the way, there's 30 minutes left in this episode. They do this. That's crazy. Oh, it sounds like it was the second list of the day. Matt's making a joke about Rob doing two lists in an episode. That's crazy. Who would ever do that again? Double up on lists. Californication. Oh, this is so good. Right? Kitas had these lyrics for ages, but he couldn't figure it Out and for Shendee came in and say, how about this riff? Magic. It's magic. If the album ends after this song, this is the top 10 album Of all time. Oh, no way. You can't miss. I like dirt. There's, I'm not saying there's not great stuff to come. I'm just saying this is an epic, great or six.

[1:09:00]By the way, great summer song. Absolutely great summer album. Put it on summer out. Big plan on the pontoon or no. And I don't think I can play. I like dirt on the pontoon. Easily end of side one. That's so good. So good. Then we start side two with porcelain. It's the only quiet song on the album. He wrote this song about a woman he met at the YMCA pool. So Matt, all these like obviously Pearl Jam's your number one. Like where does Red Hot Chili Peppers rank? Like when you put the smashing pumpkins at like, what bands You like more than this band? Like from this era? Yeah. I mean, maybe the smashing pumpkins. There's Weezer in there. You know, Weezer's like a 94, 95 band things like that.

[1:10:00]Like I take Weezer over these today. I take Weezer over these guys. But back when we were in high school, I took Red Hot Chili Peppers would be like top five stone Sample pilots back in the day. Green day versus this band who wins? Oh, that's a tough one. That's a good one Russell back in the day. Green big green day would have beat them. But today Red Hot Chili Peppers beat them. Okay. I think again, I went to that one concert like in five Years ago, but he was doing the call-ups. Yeah, it just I got to go to know because the Killers were that way. I saw a killers concert like 2015 and there was a horrible Concert says I got to fuck the killers. But I mean, now I've seen them three times since and they're I saw two months ago. They were fun. Aaron, are you a chili peppers guy? What do you think of this? I am not. I don't understand. I, I don't know why. I mean, these songs, I know so well, right? I could sing along with all of them and I enjoy them. And I think this album should be higher on the list, But I also never they're not a go-to for me.

[1:11:00]I'm never like, oh, I want to put the chili peppers on and I've never gone to see them in concert. And it's weird because like they're they're Direct descendants of Funkadelic, right? Like they're absolutely Funkadelic Disciples. I did and all of the songs that we know that were on Your wind up Russell, like they all mean something To me and I love them and I never think to put Them on or wouldn't seek them out for a show. Even though I would do it. I mean, but never taught me to like pull up a chili Peppers album on my Spotify and listen to it, But this is bad ass. Right. Russell, this is such a good summer album that this Next song spelled backwards is summer time. It's Emmett Remus. This is a song about a London set romance and they Think it's about when he dated Anthony Keith is Dated one of the spice girls. Hey, now I am not going to comment on the different Spice girls. I'm just going to say that he did date sporty spice. Okay, which is fine.

[1:12:00]If that's what you're If that's what you're into sporty spice is fine. Yeah, this is the song for me where the album just Drip drops a little bit. Yeah, I think to me is noticeably. Okay. Okay. Well, maybe you haven't heard a song called I like dirt. Hey, Rob, when you were talking about the dating The British spice girls. Yes. Have a taste of me nuts. Oh, you say a little bit. Russell, can you say that again in a little bit when I Point to you? Okay, because that's going to lead in great to the list I Have coming up. I got it. All right. Thank you. And you can't say no, no matter what. I love this song. This little scott in this too. I don't know. I know it's fun, but Rob's got the note funk, but I feel like there's a scott vibe or something. There's some fun. I'm telling you there's some fun syncopation and really Chad Smith is doing some fun stuff. Other fun thing about Chad Smith. He's very tall.

[1:13:00]You've ever noticed that extraordinarily. Well, the greatest Chad Smith thing is definitely the Drum off with Will Ferrell on the tonight's show. If I had no one's ever seen it. I because they look exactly the same. I know what you guys are going to say when I say this. I think I've had about enough will Ferrell in my life. Oh, I saw him at the home run Derby. Don't ask why I was watching the home run Derby. It's not important. And he was introing it. And I was like, I muted it. I was like, I don't want to hear his bit. I don't want to hear his stuff. It was the last one I saw him in was the Barbie movie. And it was like, once he showed up, I was like, I really Got to turn this off. I am not with it, but he does. It's crazy how much Chad's Chad Smith looks like That feral. That is fucking nuts. Saviour. This is all about addiction. Now here's the crazy thing for Shentee's coming back. They had a guitarist die from heroin for Shentee's Coming back from heroin addiction. Anthony Ketus during this album is going through his own Addiction to heroin. He had kicked it earlier. He went to the dentist and the dentist prescribed him

[1:14:00]Tramadolpes. And Anthony had said, please don't give me any opioids. I can't have any. He had one pill got hooked back again for five years Kicked it in 1999. No, that is not a true story. That's I mean, listen, I'm as anti-dentist as anyone, But that is me. That's not a thing. We just say it's not to give me something and I had a pill. I got, no, like, but Aaron, that's not true. Getting high at the dentist is like all timer. When I found out that you could just go to a dentist And they would get you high every time. Legally. Can you imagine like it's their job to get you high? What to pay off those school loans somehow. I got to convince you to get those. Guess what? Have any six. I don't care. I'm signing whatever they give me on the way out Because I am blasted at the dentist. All right. And then finally, Russell, can you say what Russell? I'm pointing at you. In the purple rain. No, are you fucking serious?

[1:15:00]I'm pointing at you, Russell. What was our bit? Spice Girls British. Have a taste of me knocks a song about finger banging. Oh, no. Listen to this. Finally. Oh, I gotta see. And it made me think. Russell, this is I think this song drops it a hundred on that list. I think the song would be a hundred higher without the song. What's it's terrible. Yeah, you're right. But it did make me think. You think there's any other songs about digital sex? Oh my God. And the answer is there's quite a few. Let's go find a list of songs. About using your hands to make love to others. Now, I want to be very clear. I am not including she bop. I touch myself dancing with myself. I'm turning Japanese. None of the songs about you jerking it. We call those honorable mentions.

[1:16:00]No, it's not even that because that's doing it to yourself. I only want songs where you're getting handsy with somebody else. Jack you off in there. I did. All right. Excuse me. Aaron, don't look at Aaron. Don't look at my list before I do my list. Hey, and fucking don't say the name of the song for the last one. I'm going to do God damn it first up on the list. We have the classic. We've got meatloaf gay. Probably the last person you use hands you would want anywhere near your body. I've so I've been doing a recent thing where I'm I'm now logging all my Albums into discogs course. I'm categorizing them by top 500. I'm categorizing by not type like it wasn't for my mom's collection. I'm categorizing everything. One of the most maddening things to me is that I own a meatloaf album And it's not the top 500. It is in raging. It is the dumbest thing. There's no way that bad out of these meatloaf albums aren't better than

[1:17:00]Album. We listen to a week. Yeah, I agree. Bullshit. The better the hell should be the most. This is a whole section of the song about going around the bases in the Back of a car. The Phil Rizzuto. Oh, it's good. So good. Now was that too subtle Bob Newhart album on this list? Yeah. He has a big thing about two balls, but it's a different. Yes. It's a different thing. Russell. Now if that was too subtle for you and I recommend Billy squire the stroke The stroke listen to these lyrics right hand out give a firm handshake Now you might think oh he's just subtly talking about you know Getting a handy Russell. He is not listening to this. Never done. I mean, this is a stroke. He's claims he is playing the radio.

[1:18:00]He has claimed forever that it's about the music industry. A song called stroke. I mean, didn't we listen to some call like stroke me Noel or something A week ago? That's stroke it in all. Yeah. That's that was about a violin player in the post. It's like football. Next up. Let's get the ladies involved. We've got the who with squeeze box. Oh, who's got a squeeze box never sleeps in a daddy comes home. He never gets no rest cause she's laying on now. I just want to remind you there's a part of this song where they Just say in and out over and over. Wait, yeah, I thought this was about a vaginal sex. No, Aaron. What now with the squeeze boxes? What no Aaron. Well, yeah, I use like the anatomically correct term. I am not trying to be fun. I don't think this one is about using your hands to play someone. I think you're a little longer. I can't Aaron. I want you to picture an accordion right now how you play it.

[1:19:00]Thank you. Yeah, with your thighs, by the way, I'm just going to say this Like the end of your machine. I'll edit this out. Imagine getting fingered by weird. Whoa. He'd be going crazy on that thing. Here it is. Hey, is it just beer? There's Rob look especially like Freddie Mercury with his wife. He does have the pretty mercury look going on tonight. Yeah, I've lost like 30 pounds. You think my family would say something? All right night moves by Bob Seeger. Probably we're going to say something that got distracted By the dog shitting in the crepe. I love Bob Seeger. I don't know if I could have told you any Bob Seeger songs Like 10 years ago. Yeah, I've got I've got night moves or whatever that album is Silver Bullet Band. I'm all about it. It's so good. He's talking about points way up high. He's talking about working on mysteries. He's talking about being out in his car.

[1:20:00]100% about digital manipulation. Such a good song. This song is so good. And of course, Aaron Seeger. Great list, Rob. This one. Good song. That was too subtle for you. You got Prince Jack you off. In a restaurant? Wow. Guys, I just know this of course goes back to my original Theory. You go to a restaurant now instead of a smoking section In a non smoking section. Okay, do you want to go over here where you could just Eat the burger? Listen, I want some roadlets. I'm over here eating some riblets or I'm over in the Prince section. Get my meat just fucking pounded while I'm eating Riblets. Holy shit or after you just wet wipes. You know what? Wet wipes, more wet wipes, please tape to the mirror. Can you imagine the amount of money I paid for a flight

[1:21:00]And there's wet wipes taped to the mirror. By the way, there were no more after I was done. There's one left and then finally you might think Jack you off is not the number one song about Digital manipulation. Guys, listen to these lyrics. Listen to this. He's just running her knees. Dribble off those Bobby Brooks slacks. There's not a lyric in this song that isn't about getting Jacked off. I don't know what a sturdy lyric is. Russell, have you ever sucked a chili dog in your life? It's never happened. I'm not saying you're wrong. Yeah. And just think about that. John Mellon's camp penis also smells like a chili dog. Makes me feel better. That's all I'm going to say. So let's get out of the list.

[1:22:00]Hey, do you have a chili dog in the backseat? Have you ever had a chili dog? Oh, yeah. I used to there's a there's a coffee shop in Gilbert That I would go to where he would make espressos and Then he had what he called Detroit dogs and it was Just chili dogs. So I'd be there pounding coffee and chili dogs. My toilet was a war zone in Gilbert. You guys ever watched the YouTube channel of home dog LLC Where it's just a what the fuck are you just shut up? What are you talking about? I'm sorry. I said shut up. I feel bad. What are you talking about? It's just like a POV video. The guy had a hot dog cart like inside a hot dog cart And it's just him stirring up hot dogs for people. I love it so much. It's great. It's so good. Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you talking? What is it called? I mean, I got to go to bed, but like we got to look at This. Yeah, we got it. I think it's I think it's just called home dog LLC. Home dog LLC. Now, is this anything like the guys who would hide in the Port of body? No, it's just a guy in his hot dog cart serving up hot dogs.

[1:23:00]Oh, so he's not in. I thought you said he's in the hot dog cart. Well, he's he's the he's the guy. Yeah, it's so satisfying. He's just like prepping up the nice dogs. He'll always like, oh, you want those out to eat now Or do you want to wrap him up? Air, what do you think about like the Rob? I do like he's in New York. I remember I've ever been in New York and I got some like Dog at a stand and they did like the where they split it In half and then sort of put stuff on this guy. What the fuck is this half dog? I'd be down there. They can grow like this guy who's at the dog stand. This guy knows what he's doing when he's ordering a hot dog. I got to see what this guy's that big guy. There's a TikTok channel. I'll send you where it's just alive of the they sell Baked potatoes and people get different toppings on baked Potatoes. It's so Rob showed us a video. There's a large man order. He ain't getting one hot dog. He's not bowl. He's getting a little Chipotle ranch. Aaron, have you got in TikTok yet? Or is Rob still just talking to himself? No, why not? I like that. Yeah. He's got these because I already wasted enough time doing

[1:24:00]Dumb shit. I don't need another spaghetti on there. Dude, I he's got the little sweet onions. He's got the spicy onions. He's sometimes does the chili. He wraps them up all nice while us is taken to eating Hot dog or chicken sausage or lunch sometimes. And I love to like put the ketchup on and wrap up The dog and foil to pretend like I'm this guy. Wow. I'm not sure how about how I feel about my my hot dog Salesman being like a hundred and forty pound thin man. Something's not right. He won't even eat his own product. The guy who ordered the dog before wearing the Oakley's looked like somebody who'd call me Woke on Facebook or something. I love that video from the home dog's own perspective Or better. I like to see the POV or he's got a different view. Sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to keep you up for another three minutes. Let's see right on time. It's disco at Funk Tempo 4 on the floor. But the back half of this album drops this from top

[1:25:00]Under. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. First of all, this riffs. You cannot say that about this song. This was us. The three of them went up to Big Sur. There's no Chad Smith on this song. This is a beautiful song, Russell. You don't think so? I enjoy it. I think the back half does not match The first. Now, it's tough, but it's hard. Like if the back half match the first, it would be In time to 20 album. It's true. Well what? Unfortunately, Russell, we don't care that much About the music. What we really care about is where it is on the List. So let's get into everybody's favorite part of The show. It's handed. It's popular. You don't have like any back comparisons. At this point, I had 15 minutes to take my kid In water skiing before I had to drive six hours To get my wife rush back up here. And I was so excited because I knew I had a list About finger banging.

[1:26:00]I cannot wait to share with you guys. I was thinking about that list all day. All. Yeah. And I was like, Hey what? I got a list on it. My wife is like, are these Mountain Dew donuts? And I was like, never mind. We're good. It'd take a couple of days off. Josh Ritter has a song called summer time that has The lyric about finger banging in it. I knew you were going to bring that up. No, don't do it. Cause you brought this up last time and we spent 10 minutes trying to find that lyric and we never Put it. It's not Josh Ritter. You see, this is the same thing. This podcast is very stupid. We just do the same thing over and to Prove it. Let's see what's on Beck did at better.com right Now. Here we go. What's up everybody? Welcome to K-R-I-V-K-O. See, it's just the same stuff. But what was this parody song saying? What's going on with Aaron? What's going on with the band? And the answer is I don't care because I'm obsessed With Russell's part of it in two lines. Okay. Well, I said speaking of a little teaser, I'll

[1:27:00]Keep this very brief. Our house, other day, upstairs roommate comes Up hollering at me saying the AC is not working. We've got like an AC unit upstairs because They're at the top level. We have a three level doesn't get very cool. So we have a, so I'm like, oh, she's talking About the portable one. No, main AC not working. Wow. It's a hundred fucking degrees in this city. Our house reaches Matt. Check this out. 89. And the inside. Russ man comes through. We're doing, we're doing a, we're doing a hotel The one night. What's the temperature where you guys are doing The hotel and you're not doing, you're not Staying in the house. We, 84, 84. Yeah. We almost did it in Italy, Russell. We showed up to Airbnb, AC. Listen, the only AC in that city was the Soccer team, AC Milan, cause there was no AC in our Milan, Airbnb. I was, I was 92. My first father say it was 92 in our house.

[1:28:00]Oh, I take the upstairs roommate over to The Huey hotel, Matt. Wow. Oh, good for you. And she goes in and I come back to do Some work down in the basement, work on My computer a little bit. Yeah. It's getting very hot. Yes. I'm getting texts from her. Here's what she's watching on TV on BBC channel. Wow. Field of dreams. Major League. What the major league to Two. Oh, okay. And then I finally show up at 11 p.m. And it's major league again. Yeah. That is a night at the hotel. That's a good night. Just when you thought we had not talked About enough baseball. Russ is coming in. Good thing there's only two of you in There too. Good thing there's not three of you In there. Only two. I think there are three. Russell, she's getting into baseball. You should get seasoned tickets. Back to the minors. There's a third one. Russell, if you're getting into Baseball, you should get seasoned Tickets to the twins. You're going to have tons of free Time. I think that's going to be a great Idea. Listen, we would be cool as if, You know, yes, I'm trying to see All the stadiums to be cool.

[1:29:00]If like, I got a thing where I can Mark all the stadiums I go to. And then maybe if I have to do all The stadiums again with someone else, I could get another market a second Time. Another thing to market a second Time. Yeah. You could do that in about 20. Yeah. 37. All right. So let's get into this 60s. Is this album? Listen, the first half of this album, Just like my favorite soda, It crushes. Don't think about that, Russell. That's not what I meant. Okay. That's fine. All right. Listen, we're, yeah. He's next door. Get a colonoscopy. We're just, we're getting it all Done. Same day. We're saving some time. Two beds are just facing each Other. You're in the same room. All right. So like a NASCAR pit stop.

[1:30:00]Here's the deal. Okay. Is this a rolling well toned? Okay. At, listen, this is 286. We're all the way up. We're almost cracking the three Hundos. Okay. Of course this is season two. This is season two episode two. Is this a rolling well toned That is perfect at 286? It's a great album. Okay. Or is it rolling bone? It should be way higher. There's banger after banger. We could listen to that. We all know this album. It's great. Or is this a rolling groan? Okay. Where's my groan sound effect? Oh, here it is. Is it a rolling groan? It should not be this high. It should be a little lower. What do we think rolling well Toned, rolling bone or rolling Groan? Aaron, what do you think? Where should this be on the List? A lower number. Therefore, earlier on the List. Rolling bone. I don't understand why. Where are we? 280, whatever. Like that's wild. This is a, This is very good music. We've heard a lot of stuff That's not as good as this Rolling bone. Russell, what do you think Rolling well toned, rolling Groan? And don't forget about the song I like dirt.

[1:31:00]I like dirt. I like dirt. I like dirt. I like dirt. Man, this, I think is one of the biggest Rolling bones we've had in a Long time. Yeah. But I, I don't love the whole album Admittedly, But I think if you look at The four of the first six Songs. Yeah. I don't remember what they Are. Scar tissue. California. Around the world. Around the world. Another side. And get on top. Those four. Yeah. I think, I think you've got four songs On here. That would be the best song On half the albums we've Listened to. This is rolling bone. It needs to be way higher On the list. If it weren't for the back, I'm not saying the back half Is bad, But I just, I wish this album would be Nine songs with those four. And I think it would be top 75. I'm going to say rolling bone. It needs to be top 150. I do think, And this is better than the Other red hot chili peppers Album we listened to.

[1:32:00]That's exactly close. That's what I was going to say Too. I think this is better than Blood sugar sex magic, For sure. For sure. Not even close. Matt, What do you think? Rolling bone or rolling Groan? Rolling bone. And I was going to bring Up where this fits. Blood sugar sex magic was At 186. This is at 286. That one came out in 1991. Right. So this one came out in 1999. And this is a hell of a Book ends for the 90s. Right. With these two albums. That's rolling bone. Should be way higher. I just, it's, It, Both of them fit perfectly In my opinion. This is my opinion. Right. Perfectly for like a rock Album with just a little bit Of something different. Right. Like the funk and the, You know, The bass and all that stuff That's going on compared To everything else. And when you think about Some of the other bands In that, You know, The 25 years of Time. What's that? What was that? Festival. No. Woodstock 98.

[1:33:00]Woodstock 1990. 1999. Right. You think it's like corn And trying to think the other Limp biscuit. That's what I'm trying to think Of things like that. Right. Like you put, Put this album up against Even some of those. I mean, this is just a Great album. Like I love, And I love listening to the Corn album. Right. But like limp biscuit. And that's just corny now If you ask me, This is a timeless album. It's going to be around For a long time. I will continue to listen to This. I, You kind of asked about My red hot chili. I do, I do listen to more like Go to the red hot chili pepper Station, More than listen to red hot Chili peppers albums Or as like Pearl Jam. I go to the album. Right. Things like that. So, But then, You know, You're hearing these four Songs all the time. They're, They're the top 20 songs For red hot chili peppers Of all time. Matt, The deserted island with A CD player. And I can give you this Californication Or melancholy in the Infinite sadness. What are you taking with You?

[1:34:00]Wow. You know, I just listened through The eyes of Ruby The other day Because they have Jimmy Chamberlain on the drums, Who's a, It's a, It's a, It's a battle between Jimmy Chamberlain And Chad Smith Because Chad Smith does Bring red hot chili peppers Up a notch With his drumming. So that's a tough one. I think, Ooh, It might be melancholy, But it's not, It's a 51 49. Okay. Kind of a thing. That's what I was wondering. Yeah. Unfortunately you guys are Incorrect. Okay. Again, This gets a rolling Coming back from Eddick Shown. Yeah. I mean, This is the, This just shows like Coming back from something As, As a disease, Like addiction and Making such great art. Like you can do Such great things, Which is why My wife is doing so Well at work. She's no longer addicted To what the dick did. You know what I mean? She has gone Cold turkey And she's doing better Than ever. She no longer,

[1:35:00]You know, I'm sitting on here With a half eaten box Of Mountain Dew donuts. She's going to come out Tomorrow morning And this is what she's Going to see. My podcast set up With a handheld mic With the, The, The stand over there Broken And a box Of Mountain Dew donuts And a face print On that glass behind It. Don't fucking say that. My dog moved Earlier. I saw the reflection Of the glass. I will ship myself. It's so scary. And I got to, My seat is in the other Cabin. I think I'm going to go Sleep over there. You should sprinkle Just a teeny smidge Of Mountain Dew donut In the bed tonight Just to see what happens In the morning Or just, Just rub it on her lips While she's sleeping. Just go in there And just rub it on her Lips. Just crumble a little Bit in like her hair. So she wakes up In the morning And say what happened To my donuts? Did you eat my donuts Last night? I'm gaslighting You to ask her If she ate your donuts. It's like momento

[1:36:00]But I'm pretty good At her convinced that she ate A Mountain Dew donut. Wow. Oh man, Can you imagine If you saw her She's just, What would, What would she charge Like to eat Like for a thousand Dollars when she would Or no. You know what, I'm going to, If she eats one tomorrow Russell, I'll take a Picture and send it to You guys. I don't know my wife At all. She's a mystery to me. Next week, Next week, We have an album That Aaron can relate to Because he's also a Boring man. It's Hey, Tambourine man By the birds Or somebody who Cares. Birds? I When you want to I laugh when I wrote That down. Hey, Tambourine man. Hey, Tambourine man. He's just got a Tambourine. He's like, Who cares anymore? If you want to It would be depressing To be in a band And be like, Hey, We're going to move Into the tambourine. That's your job. Imagine you're going From red hot chili peppers To a tambourine man.

[1:37:00]You know what? I just got word that No, I don't have a joke. I'm sorry. I thought I had one. There's something about cheese Curds and apps, But I don't think It's not an entree And it's not a side. Like you don't order A steak with a Set of cheese curds. You get cheese curds At the beginning Of a meal. It's an app. I like how Our argument is When you order cheese Curds, it's not Whether you order cheese Curds. Should we be ordered Cheese curds? This is the appropriate time To order them to be fair. You're mocking me. This is coming from The guy who orders Him at like a gas station, Which is fucked. That's messed up that You get him at a gas Station. It's time to say Listen, When you've got, When you're ordering Mountain Dew Donuts, When you're putting The Mountain Dew Donuts, They don't care about Anything else. That's all, That's all they see. You could, You could order like a Thousand yogurts from there And they're still going to Like look down at you. Just put down one apple. Yes. I've tried.

[1:38:00]I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. I've tried.