Guns N’ Roses: Appetite for Destruction (1987)

[00:00]in 2020 four friends decide to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by

[00:05]rolling stone magazine rob what what fuck man you're supposed to bring the energy on this thing

[00:10]let's go come on a little bit rev it up a little bit let's go a little late it's a little late

[00:14]definitely not because i logged into the wrong meeting to start tonight off to a great start by

[00:18]the way uh so let's see if i can think of a way to pick up the energy let's try this here we go

[00:23]in 2020 four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by

[00:30]rolling stone magazine this resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music

[00:34]excoriated the order and led us to making this podcast we are far from experts and we promise

[00:39]to do almost no research and all opinions are our own unless you disagree please sit back and enjoy

[00:45]beth did it better this is two albums in a row from 1987 this is 62 appetite for destruction

[00:53]by guns and roses look at that i hit the post too i'm so good at this

[00:58]listen guys we have uh i i happen to know as you know i do have uh aaron's wife at gmails.com phone

[01:06]number now okay uh and i haven't been sending a lot of texts not getting a lot of responses but i

[01:11]did recently get a file in my text uh of a song and so let's uh let's see what's going on here

[01:17]because i did forward that to k-rap listen the story started out so simple it's getting pretty

[01:21]complicated pretty quickly so we better just listen to it

[01:23]and i bet there's going to be a song written by aaron's wife as the announcer will explain this

[01:28]is a disaster

[01:29]listen tonight on the request line i requested that somebody write a song about aaron and guess

[01:38]who did it's aaron's wife at gmail

[01:41]i can't believe that i'm married to aaron there's no

[01:53]microwave and the record's always blaring

[01:55]have you ever taken your captain crunch and heated it up in the microwave before you eat it

[02:14]he's bringing it back i don't own a microwave

[02:16]back in the microwave i'm also pretty certain curtis will just had a heart transplant i played

[02:21]the classic i played the classic

[02:23]aaron beat one sentence what's the problem with your burden

[02:26]shrinkage

[02:29]i love websites i love websites that's a new one you do actually hang our um

[02:34]what

[02:35]shrinkage

[02:40]don't get me started about the viewpoint i've really learned a lot about that

[02:44]gotta play the hit shrinkage

[02:47]speaking of russell's dates let down

[02:50]oh

[02:51]oh

[02:51]oh

[02:52]oh

[02:52]oh

[02:53]i thought this one was all for all the nursing mothers out there

[02:57]oh no he's always talking about some musician

[03:00]he's always asking to be driven every week he's cooking chicken he used to go to work so it was

[03:07]fine but now it's all of the time yes what rhymes with fucking furnace

[03:13]trucking dervish i still think that right we did it

[03:20]she's turning

[03:21]you have a tiny house by the way

[03:23]he always calls me his lady

[03:28]favorite part of our marriage

[03:30]what is this

[03:32]we're blocking him in the garage

[03:33]oh yes

[03:34]people ask me what our marriage is like he's always breaking his arm when he's on his butt

[03:39]he wasn't even riding every once in a while

[03:44]i'm at home and aaron's always there and i can't even trust him to cut the kid's hair

[03:49]you think he's really good to go

[03:52]yeah

[03:52]i'm at home and aaron's always there and i can't even trust him to cut the kid's hair

[03:52]Thank you, Rob. Appreciate it.

[03:54]It's true.

[03:57]It's true.

[03:58]I got a fellow more making fun of Aaron Clips.

[04:08]I do not have new bad influence.

[04:10]I got to make a commitment to that in my life.

[04:12]I love that.

[04:14]Rosie, I think you should measure your house.

[04:18]Swing for the fences today.

[04:20]Did it better.

[04:21]Rosie, I think you should measure your house.

[04:23]And then we should have Rob measure his condo.

[04:25]Wow.

[04:26]Yeah.

[04:27]And whose is actually bigger.

[04:28]Let's have a pissing contest.

[04:30]We're counting the common areas.

[04:31]I think I'm good to go.

[04:32]The gym and the roof and stuff like that.

[04:34]Nope.

[04:35]All right.

[04:36]Welcome to Beck Did It Better.

[04:37]We are talking about appetite for destruction by the guns and roses.

[04:41]Listen, I've got three guys here who look just like Axl Rose probably smells when you're trying to kiss him.

[04:47]I've got Russ in Minnesota.

[04:49]Russ, how are you doing?

[04:50]I'm good.

[04:51]I'm good.

[04:51]Tall.

[04:51]The ladies out there swipe right on my bumble.

[04:53]I've got fun and games.

[04:55]Oh, yes.

[04:56]Seriously.

[04:57]I've got trivial pursuit battleship and strip poker, where if you're lucky, you'll get to see my serpentine.

[05:04]Oh, get it wrong.

[05:09]My serpentine.

[05:10]Well, I thought you were going to say, what was the ship that was just two in battleship?

[05:12]You know what I mean?

[05:13]The destroyer.

[05:14]Yeah.

[05:14]The destroyer.

[05:15]It's like, oh, I was hoping for a battleship.

[05:16]This is more of a destroyer.

[05:18]I've got Matt in Minneapolis.

[05:20]Matt, how are you doing?

[05:21]Excellent, Rob.

[05:22]Thanks for having me, as always.

[05:23]And I've got the only guy who's upset that we're not listening to the buckethead Guns and Roses.

[05:28]Aaron, how are you doing out in California?

[05:29]Well, you just can't tell, but I'm excited to be here with Matt, Rob, and my Russ L.

[05:34]Let's talk about Guns and Roses.

[05:35]I feel like you're kind of getting into our territory there.

[05:37]Can I just play this for you guys, by the way?

[05:39]I don't know if we're going to cut this or what, but I just want to tell you, listen to how awesome this part is.

[05:43]Okay.

[05:44]I can't believe that I'm married to Aaron.

[05:47]There's no microwave and the record's always blaring.

[05:50]He left.

[05:51]If your wife wants this for a ringer, she can have it.

[05:55]I can send it to her.

[05:55]Aaron lives his life like a hippie.

[05:57]He's got a lion greens and they taste real shitty.

[06:00]Imagine living in Aaron's tiny home.

[06:03]Is that four tracks?

[06:04]Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[06:05]It's just three.

[06:06]And then when I listened to the actual song, I was like, oh, they're way better at this than I am.

[06:11]I mean, it might surprise you, but Axl Rose is a little bit better than me.

[06:15]It's shocking.

[06:16]But Axl is recording his stuff one line at a time.

[06:19]We're going to talk about that.

[06:20]Shout out to Mike.

[06:21]I think the producer in this one.

[06:22]I do feel one of the themes for this episode is going to be how the Guns N' Roses, again,

[06:28]I don't know why I want to call them the Rolling Stones, how Guns N' Roses wrote the lyrics

[06:32]for their songs.

[06:33]Almost every story is them like, okay, we were in my apartment and we were wasted.

[06:37]And I started playing the guitar and we wrote this song.

[06:39]And then it's like, I was in a van and we were wasted.

[06:41]And I wrote this song.

[06:42]It's like my podcast experience.

[06:44]And I was wasted.

[06:45]Seriously, you guys can't wait to see my cocktail tonight.

[06:50]I might be there again.

[06:51]Oh, my God.

[06:51]Oh, my God.

[06:51]Don't say that to me.

[06:53]Oh, I got blue balls.

[06:55]So bad.

[06:56]Listen, I don't see that cocktail.

[06:58]I could really get hurt.

[06:59]Okay.

[07:00]The medical.

[07:01]Hey, Rob, you see this shaker here?

[07:03]Oh, no.

[07:04]That's the shaker.

[07:05]Putting him over the edge.

[07:06]He's putting him over the edge.

[07:07]The only way I would be happy is if he's heating up a drink.

[07:09]Oh.

[07:10]I put something carbonated in there that I probably should not be shaking at realizing.

[07:15]This is not good.

[07:17]I might have to go on pause.

[07:18]Okay.

[07:19]Don't worry about that.

[07:21]I didn't eat any of this out.

[07:22]It's not good.

[07:24]I think the top's going to fly off.

[07:26]Uh-oh.

[07:27]First time ever.

[07:31]The top's going to fly off my shaker.

[07:32]This destroys his recording equipment.

[07:35]Oh, no.

[07:36]Russell.

[07:36]Russell.

[07:40]They don't show you how to put carbonated beverages in a shaker, do they?

[07:46]Yeah, no.

[07:46]No.

[07:47]Why do you have it in a shaker?

[07:48]You know it's not supposed to be shaken.

[07:50]You just did that to show off.

[07:51]No, this is going to rock your world.

[07:53]Oh, no.

[07:54]You added something carbonated to a drink that's not supposed to have carbonation.

[07:57]Oh, I did.

[07:58]Yes, I did.

[07:59]Oh, I didn't have any lemon, so I added some 7-Up.

[08:01]That's pretty close.

[08:01]Listen, we got to get...

[08:03]We don't have time to make fun of Russell's drink and trying to cocktease me with that.

[08:09]We have to get into everybody's favorite section, making fun of Aaron.

[08:12]Oh, we're making fun of Aaron after the song, too?

[08:16]Yeah.

[08:16]Have I said it?

[08:17]I got to get a lot of that in, right?

[08:19]I don't think so.

[08:19]I think I've been very...

[08:20]I'll tell you what.

[08:21]I felt so guilty the last week I made the quip.

[08:23]Shut up, Rob.

[08:24]Okay, I told myself to shut up there.

[08:26]Wait a minute.

[08:27]I don't own a microwave.

[08:29]I felt so bad about telling Aaron I never think about him, and so now I've decided to devote

[08:34]the whole first part of the show to making fun of him, to show just how much I care.

[08:37]That's how I bond with people.

[08:39]But I do want to...

[08:40]I was listening to last week's episode, and I just want to show you guys what I have to

[08:45]deal with when I'm editing this podcast, okay?

[08:47]So what am I supposed to deal with this?

[08:48]Tell me if you can guess which noise you think...

[08:51]I think it's coming through Aaron's mic here, okay?

[08:53]Just listen.

[08:54]One of the things I was going to ask you is, when I go to these restaurants, I have to

[08:58]try out something I've never had before.

[09:00]So I had goat empanadas, duck confit, octopus, stuff that I don't have.

[09:04]Is it like a rumbling?

[09:05]What is that?

[09:06]Restaurants, do you always go back to your same old thing, or do you always try something

[09:09]new?

[09:10]No idea.

[09:10]It sounds like someone's playing a drum.

[09:12]I go back...

[09:12]Well, I mean, kind of within reason.

[09:13]It's like a timpani in the background.

[09:15]It sounds like Aaron is...

[09:17]Yeah, Aaron is broadcasting from the airport.

[09:19]He is sitting out by the runway.

[09:20]He's like, okay.

[09:21]Time to do the podcast.

[09:22]Better head over to the airport.

[09:25]So Aaron, what is that noise?

[09:26]I don't know.

[09:27]That's a good question.

[09:28]I mean, I was saying, we have seen the Blue Angels here a bunch this week, so it could

[09:31]have been the Blue Angels.

[09:32]I wish I could blame it on them, but I don't know.

[09:33]So you think the Blue Angels are now out flying at night?

[09:36]They're like, well, we're a stunt flying team.

[09:38]Better go out at night where nobody can see us whatsoever.

[09:40]That doesn't make any sense.

[09:42]What's more dangerous than flying during the day?

[09:44]Flying at night, probably, right?

[09:46]I don't know.

[09:46]I mean, it's not really my bag, but...

[09:49]So do you think that was an airplane going by?

[09:51]Is that what that was?

[09:52]I don't know, man.

[09:53]I mean, I'm in my garage.

[09:54]Anything could happen.

[09:55]It could be a feral cat.

[09:56]It could be a delivery truck.

[10:00]You know when I think the height of the Blue Angels was?

[10:03]Remember when we were kids and there were those things called micromachines and the guy

[10:06]talked really fast?

[10:06]Yes.

[10:07]Remember that?

[10:08]And then they did little plane ones, too, and you could buy the planes and the cars.

[10:12]And I remember the Blue Angel micromachine was like, if you got that one, that was the

[10:16]best one you could possibly get.

[10:17]I mean, they're pretty cool.

[10:18]Micromachines were an awesome way.

[10:21]They were an awesome way to get a toy that you were immediately going to lose.

[10:23]Like, within three days, you just had some, and the next thing you know, it's gone forever.

[10:27]No idea where it went.

[10:28]And you're always stuck with the shittiest one left.

[10:31]The one you didn't want is the only one that you could find.

[10:33]Do you guys think the micromachine guy, the really fast talker, ever went on dates and

[10:37]would he talk fast like that on dates or not?

[10:39]Oh, you know that guy.

[10:41]Okay.

[10:41]Now, listen.

[10:42]I don't want to get into this right off the bat.

[10:45]Does he do everything really fast?

[10:46]Can you imagine how good that guy is at oral sex?

[10:48]Just crazy.

[10:51]Right?

[10:51]Do you think he has multiple speeds, though?

[10:55]Do you think he could do it fast or slow?

[10:57]Yeah.

[10:57]No, he is like one of those vibrators.

[10:59]He's doing like the ABCs very, very fast, right?

[11:03]Yeah.

[11:07]He was going, you know, I know you're not supposed to start right at the f***, but I

[11:11]think with him, they're like, I'll allow it.

[11:13]I'll allow it.

[11:14]He's like, come on.

[11:16]Okay.

[11:18]Just turn on your speaker, put it on the ground, and sit down and listen to this.

[11:20]Come on.

[11:21]Did you hear what I said really fast, by the way?

[11:25]Come down to the store and get a micromachine.

[11:27]That's the only thing I could think of.

[11:28]God, I'm dumb.

[11:29]I'm dumb as s***.

[11:30]It's terrible.

[11:31]Okay, Aaron.

[11:33]We talked about oral sex and the micromachine guy.

[11:35]Are you happy?

[11:35]The one thing you wanted to talk about today?

[11:36]It's great.

[11:37]That's what you had in mind when we started this podcast.

[11:39]I'm good.

[11:40]I'm going to retire for the evening.

[11:41]You guys enjoy the rest of this podcast.

[11:42]You hit all the high points.

[11:44]Guys, let's get into at least my favorite segment.

[11:49]It's the dumb s*** listeners.

[11:51]We're listening to voicemails.

[11:52]Dumb s*** listeners.

[11:54]Are we all the way off the rails already?

[11:56]And I'll tell you what.

[11:58]I knew as another dumb s*** listener when I saw the voicemail, and it's like a minute and a half long.

[12:02]I'm like, folks, you listen to these, right?

[12:04]Like, please help me out.

[12:05]Hello, boys.

[12:09]It's Krista.

[12:10]I'm calling to clarify some confusion about Matt and Sarah's first wedding dance.

[12:17]By the way, I was one of those people that was invited.

[12:21]What the hell?

[12:22]Let's just shake his hand.

[12:23]Flex.

[12:24]I have to say that I can blame part of this on Sarah and Matt because they had a food and drink minimum they had to cover at the restaurant they had their reception at.

[12:35]He needs to get the minimum.

[12:36]Of course, I was more than willing to help.

[12:38]He's like at $8,001.

[12:39]By the time we got to their final reception location, which was Glicks in downtown Minneapolis.

[12:44]Oh.

[12:44]Yep, Glicks.

[12:46]You heard that right.

[12:47]I did.

[12:47]I was having a grand old time by that point.

[12:51]And they walked in and it dawned on me that they needed a first wedding dance.

[12:55]So it was me that requested the Johnny Cash song, Ring of Fire, because I always associate Johnny Cash with Vance.

[13:06]Matt didn't want to pay the royalties to use any songs.

[13:09]And in case you were wondering, my first dance was to Yellow by Coldplay.

[13:13]Oh.

[13:14]Have a good day.

[13:15]Sung by that guy, Russell, famously.

[13:17]So Matt, you didn't have a first dance at all.

[13:19]You just showed up at a bar.

[13:20]You're like, no music.

[13:21]No fun.

[13:21]And people started playing music.

[13:22]And you danced or what?

[13:23]Well, no.

[13:24]We showed up at Glicks because they were going to have a DJ there kind of a thing.

[13:28]And yeah, we had, I think we had like invited like 60 people, but we were under the minimum.

[13:34]So we invited a couple more just to get to the minimum, something like that.

[13:37]And so let me go through my email here.

[13:39]Let me check it.

[13:40]It's a man wedding.

[13:41]No results.

[13:42]No, I got nothing.

[13:43]So weird.

[13:43]So weird.

[13:45]Nothing for me.

[13:45]It's like, fuck those guys that are going to drink more than one drink.

[13:48]I need people are going to have one drink and be out of here.

[13:51]No alcohol.

[13:52]Trying to get this done in three hours.

[13:54]Tops.

[13:54]I do have to give it up though.

[13:56]I do have to give it up for somebody who is blasted before the first dance.

[14:00]Like she's like, I've been having some drinks, having some fun time for the first dance.

[14:03]Woo.

[14:03]That happened to me once.

[14:05]I was, I was a groomsman in a wedding, right?

[14:07]And they had a bartender on the bus.

[14:09]So after the wedding, I go and get on the bus.

[14:12]And I'll just say this, this person whose wedding this was, was a okay softball player.

[14:17]Okay.

[14:17]Not the most athletic on the team.

[14:19]Let's just put it that way.

[14:21]And so I get on the bus, right?

[14:23]And everyone else is off the bus talking.

[14:25]So it's just me and the bartender.

[14:27]Well, you, you, you can't just ignore somebody, right?

[14:29]You can't be rude.

[14:30]So I get a vodka lemonade, right?

[14:31]Two minutes later, nobody gets on.

[14:34]So I get another vodka lemonade, right?

[14:36]A margarita.

[14:37]No, it was just a vodka lemonade.

[14:40]This was me at like 22.

[14:41]Isn't that a margarita?

[14:42]No, Russell, it's not a margarita.

[14:44]I'm saying that, please.

[14:46]Wait a minute.

[14:46]Whatever drink you got.

[14:51]Okay.

[14:51]Cut with a knife.

[14:52]It's like you can have a brownie batter drink or whatever you do tonight.

[14:55]A margarita is not lemonade and vodka.

[14:57]Where do you think the vodka comes from in the margarita?

[15:00]Where are you getting that from?

[15:01]Sorry.

[15:02]I interrupted your wedding bus story.

[15:03]Oh my God.

[15:04]The vodka margarita.

[15:06]Can you even imagine?

[15:07]Should we just shut this down?

[15:09]This might be the episode already.

[15:10]We should just stop.

[15:11]Guys, Guns N' Roses.

[15:12]It's a good album.

[15:12]See you later.

[15:13]We're 18 minutes in.

[15:14]All right.

[15:14]Rolling.

[15:14]So well-toned.

[15:16]You can probably see where I'm going with this.

[15:18]I was absolutely blasted by the time everybody.

[15:21]Got onto the bus.

[15:21]Vodka lemonade.

[15:22]That'll do it to you real quick.

[15:23]Yeah.

[15:23]Yeah.

[15:24]I showed.

[15:24]Well, I called him a margarita.

[15:26]I think that was part of my problem.

[15:27]But I did show up at the wedding and like Jenny saw me because she was not on the bus.

[15:32]She drove herself and she saw me and she goes, oh no.

[15:35]Like the minute I walked through the door, like for the introducing, you know, and she

[15:38]goes, oh, oh no.

[15:39]And sure enough, I did take off my clothes and run through a cornfield.

[15:41]Okay.

[15:42]Or as Aaron calls it, you know, Thursday night or whatever.

[15:45]But at some point on the bus, I did say, oh yeah.

[15:51]And I'm standing.

[15:51]And so the whole family's on there.

[15:52]The whole wedding party.

[15:54]I'm standing like up on the seat and I see the bus is slowing down and I look to my side.

[15:58]It's just a cornfield.

[15:59]And I go, yeah, it's time to party in the cornfield.

[16:03]Right.

[16:04]Everybody's kind of quiet.

[16:06]I look the other way.

[16:06]Cemetery.

[16:07]We were visiting the wife's deceased father's grave site.

[16:10]So I was like, oh, so immediately be nervous.

[16:15]I was, uh, went back to the bartender at the back of the bus.

[16:17]I was like, oh, I'm going to need one of those margaritas.

[16:20]First place is not where you want to be at, at a wedding, at a work event.

[16:25]No.

[16:26]Um, at a funeral first place.

[16:28]And it sounds like you were in first place that night.

[16:30]It was cocktailer.

[16:31]It was a disaster.

[16:32]And it 100% was not my fault.

[16:35]I will not take the blame for that.

[16:36]It was the bartender who set me up.

[16:37]He should have known that I was going to be on there for a while and should not have over

[16:41]served me.

[16:41]So shame on that bartender.

[16:43]Big time.

[16:43]Rob, when you make an entrance at weddings, do you always, if you were in the wedding,

[16:46]did you do the thing where like you carry the bridesmaid in on your shoulders or like, do

[16:50]it?

[16:50]Like, are you doing something?

[16:50]Do you do a funny dance when you walk in, when they introduce you or what was your style

[16:54]when you got introduced?

[16:55]When you were in the wedding?

[16:56]I have only been a groomsman in two weddings.

[16:58]One was a girl I was dating.

[17:01]I thought he would have, but it's, it's sad.

[17:03]One is a, oh no.

[17:04]Oh, my sisters.

[17:05]Oops.

[17:06]I forgot about my sister.

[17:06]Listen, not going to do that at my sister's and my sister's wedding.

[17:09]Right before I walked down the aisle, my mom goes, oh my God, you look terrible.

[17:13]And then I like, and then I had to walk down.

[17:16]So I was like, okay, that's great.

[17:17]Thank you.

[17:18]Uh, and then, uh, or she's.

[17:20]No, she said, no, she said something to the effect of like, okay, everybody stop fooling

[17:25]around or something.

[17:26]Like we were telling jokes.

[17:27]That's what it was.

[17:28]And she goes, everybody stop fooling around back here.

[17:30]This is terrible.

[17:30]She's all stressed out.

[17:31]They were like walking down.

[17:32]Uh, but anyway, the, uh, oh no.

[17:35]And then, and then I got drunk at that one and that was the only wedding I've ever been

[17:38]a part of.

[17:38]Nobody's ever asked me again.

[17:39]So Russell, I went to a, I went to a wedding last night.

[17:43]Uh, oh, you did a loyal Beck did a better listener.

[17:46]Uh, I got invited to his daughter's wedding last night.

[17:50]So, uh, I went to a, I went to a wedding last night.

[17:50]It was a great time, but awesome.

[17:52]The, the, I think the new thing, the best couple of the introduction last night, just

[17:57]walked in.

[17:58]Everybody's expecting some dumb twirl, some like, you know, they did the mat, you know,

[18:03]lift up thing.

[18:04]The best couple was the one that just walked in and kind of waved and went to their seat.

[18:08]So it gave everyone like a little salute.

[18:09]Yeah.

[18:10]Just a little salute.

[18:11]I thought it was the best one.

[18:14]So Matt's just sitting there slow clapping for this group that comes out.

[18:18]Good for you.

[18:18]Yeah.

[18:18]Good for you.

[18:19]Holy cow.

[18:20]This wedding might.

[18:20]Get done by eight 30 after all.

[18:22]All right.

[18:22]This is great.

[18:22]We can get home and get a little rest in, wake up early.

[18:25]This is going to be awesome.

[18:26]I'm almost setting out my inflatables.

[18:27]Those weddings are the real youngsters.

[18:29]Those can, those can be the saddest.

[18:30]The two saddest wedding weddings I've been to in my life for kids who get married real

[18:34]young.

[18:34]One was, uh, yeah.

[18:36]Saddest weddings?

[18:38]Yeah.

[18:39]And I don't know if we have time to talk about the saddest weddings you've been to.

[18:41]Yeah.

[18:41]Just kidding.

[18:42]We do.

[18:42]Let's go.

[18:44]First was a couple that I went to high school with.

[18:48]She graduated early so they could get married.

[18:50]But she was not 18 yet.

[18:52]So she had to have her parents permission to get married to the guy who was 20.

[18:56]They asked me to sing in there.

[18:58]What was your first wife's name?

[18:59]And then, Oh, what?

[19:01]So she was 17.

[19:03]He was, I don't know, 19.

[19:04]They asked me to sing in their wedding in Des Moines.

[19:06]They, I did, uh, welcome to the jungle.

[19:09]Brian Adams.

[19:10]Everything I do, I do it for you with a tape recorder.

[19:12]It was, we've discussed how bad I was.

[19:16]Talk about a song to pick if you got married in high school.

[19:19]Everything I do.

[19:20]It was rough.

[19:22]We've decided to wear the Robin hood, Prince of thieves or not bombed Manny's wedding.

[19:27]But yeah, this one, I totally bombed.

[19:30]It was like 105 degrees.

[19:32]There was of course no reception.

[19:33]I got a flat tire on the way home on the freeway between Des Moines and Ankeny had to like pull

[19:38]over and change the flat tire in my like Brown shirt and you know, Paisley tie.

[19:43]That was awful.

[19:44]Were you friends with them or did they just hire you?

[19:47]Cause you were like world famous Ankeny musician.

[19:49]No, I, I mean, what?

[19:50]Yes.

[19:51]It was because I was world famous Ankeny musician.

[19:53]Yeah.

[19:53]That was, they hired the basketball player there and talk about that one time to shoot

[19:56]a three.

[19:56]I heard the grandma to do some trash talking.

[19:58]Like everybody was the best in the town.

[20:00]That's who they hired.

[20:00]It was just, it was, it was just top of the town.

[20:02]Everybody.

[20:03]That was a rough one.

[20:03]That was no good.

[20:04]Listen, got to give it up for a wedding just because you want to fuck somebody.

[20:07]Like got to give it up for that.

[20:09]Like I want to have sex with this person so bad.

[20:11]We're going to get married.

[20:12]Right.

[20:13]That's the only reason.

[20:13]I think they might have six or seven kids now.

[20:16]Actually.

[20:16]Now that you mentioned it, Rob.

[20:17]Hey, why is that the saddest wedding you've been to?

[20:20]Just no reception?

[20:20]That sounds like a happy family.

[20:21]I got a flat tire on the way home and I bombed it.

[20:24]That's so selfish.

[20:26]It's all about you.

[20:27]It turns out Aaron was right when he said everything I do, I don't do for you.

[20:31]I do for me and I'm mad about this tire.

[20:33]I thought the lyric, those are the lyrics to the song.

[20:36]I was sorely mistaken.

[20:38]What was the other sad wedding, Aaron?

[20:39]We don't have time for three.

[20:40]Just two.

[20:41]Yeah.

[20:41]The other one was a friend of mine from high school who got married immediately after we

[20:45]graduated undergrad in Oklahoma city.

[20:47]And the, I drove down to Oklahoma city with the other groomsmen and the reception was,

[20:54]there was no booze at the reception.

[20:56]So we, we did the wedding and then the reception that we left the reception at like 6 PM.

[21:02]And there we were in Oklahoma city knowing no one.

[21:04]So like we just went and bought a six pack of Michelob Amber and drank it in our hotel

[21:09]room.

[21:10]Just by Aaron, you were one of the most selfish wedding guests I've ever heard in my life.

[21:14]You say like, these are the two saddest weddings.

[21:17]One turned out.

[21:17]It turned out to be this happy couple with seven kids.

[21:19]And the other one was this beautiful reception in Oklahoma city, but you just didn't have

[21:23]fun.

[21:23]So you call it the saddest wedding ever called it a night.

[21:26]It's true.

[21:26]Actually, that couple is still together.

[21:27]Also, they, they have, uh, four or five beautiful children.

[21:30]So who am I to say?

[21:31]It is some sad shit.

[21:32]I wouldn't want to be with someone for that long either.

[21:34]That is some sad shit.

[21:35]I got to admit though, like the idea now of me just hanging out with my friends in a hotel

[21:40]room, drinking sounds awesome.

[21:42]That would be one of the best way that would be like one of my best weekends in a long

[21:46]time.

[21:46]That sounds really fun.

[21:47]Actually, that's true.

[21:47]Uh, I went to a wedding once where they had a seating, you know, and they picked like

[21:52]a seating chart.

[21:52]They picked where you were going to sit.

[21:54]And I was outside on the porch and the door was closed.

[21:58]So at no point could you hear any of the speeches?

[22:00]You couldn't hear any of the music, nothing.

[22:01]We were eating like literally outside of the whole thing.

[22:04]So it was like, yeah, we're the tier Z friends.

[22:07]It's no good.

[22:08]But sometimes it's fun to be the tier Z and be outside.

[22:11]Cause you can do whatever you can get rockers.

[22:12]You can get as many, like you're the, you're the bar with everyone's got multiple drinks

[22:16]in front of them.

[22:17]You've got an empty seat.

[22:18]You're like, no, no, there'll be here.

[22:20]Fill that glass of wine.

[22:21]You're getting wine all around.

[22:22]Sometimes it's nice being on the outer, outer edge.

[22:24]You can do whatever you want.

[22:25]It's great.

[22:25]I mean, the people only remember like you're even at their wedding.

[22:28]I mean, like if you could be that far underneath the radar, when people don't even remember

[22:32]you, they even invited you to the wedding and you're at the wedding.

[22:34]That's kind of the, that's kind of nice.

[22:36]Yeah.

[22:37]I don't think the worst part is that I had no recollection of you being at the wedding.

[22:40]It's that Jenny and I both were shocked and we looked at each other and we were so shocked

[22:44]that we looked at you and said, you were at our wedding.

[22:46]Unbelievable.

[22:47]Like, yeah, it's true.

[22:49]It's a true friendship.

[22:50]Okay.

[22:50]Yeah.

[22:51]With that in mind, let's get into rolling going.

[22:53]Oh, all right.

[22:55]You haven't done rolling going yet?

[22:56]No.

[22:56]It's time to see what everybody's up to.

[22:59]No, this is a disaster already.

[23:01]Rolling going.

[23:02]Oh, yeah.

[23:05]Rosie, rolling going.

[23:07]How's it going with you?

[23:07]Oh, it's going great.

[23:09]It's autumn.

[23:10]So I've been enjoying that.

[23:12]You call it autumn?

[23:13]I'm a fall guy.

[23:14]I don't call it autumn.

[23:15]Autumn.

[23:15]Look at Mr. Fancy Pants autumn.

[23:16]Oh, I don't know.

[23:17]I guess I usually call it fall, but I was trying to just...

[23:21]No, don't act like you're going to talk down to us.

[23:24]Rosie literally...

[23:25]He literally...

[23:25]You guys have been jumping on Rosie all episode.

[23:27]He can't get three words in edgewise.

[23:29]He literally says, it's autumn and you guys are just jumping his shit.

[23:34]How about you just let him talk for five seconds?

[23:36]Yeah, Russell.

[23:37]I appreciate you.

[23:37]Yeah, that's nice.

[23:38]Yeah, Russell.

[23:38]So I've been enjoying one of my favorite pastimes, which is playoff baseball, where my team is

[23:43]not playing because I really enjoy playoff baseball.

[23:44]The autumn classic.

[23:45]I don't want to...

[23:47]I don't want to...

[23:47]I don't want to have to endure the stress, so that's good.

[23:50]Oh, and that ball's going to autumn into right field.

[23:51]He's going to make a double on this.

[23:52]But I will say the most enjoyable thing I did since we talked, since we last spoke is

[23:59]that I don't know.

[24:00]I don't know how to break it to you guys.

[24:02]You all know that my wife, Aaron's wife at gmail.com is a big fan of this podcast, but

[24:07]this is not the only podcast that she listens to.

[24:10]So she was listening to Fresh Air this week and there were a bunch of...

[24:17]She was listening to a bunch of Stanley Tucci interviews because I think he recently went

[24:20]through a bout with cancer.

[24:21]So shout out to Stanley Tucci for surviving that.

[24:23]And that's a pretty cool thing.

[24:25]And Fresh Air talked about this movie of his called Big Night that he did in 1996 with

[24:33]Tony Shalhoub and Minnie Driver and Isabella Rossellini and this wonderful cast.

[24:40]We watched it last night, actually, and it was such a delightful film.

[24:45]You guys know I'm a sucker for food.

[24:47]I love Italian movies.

[24:48]So it's these two brothers who are trying to open an Italian restaurant.

[24:51]It's not working out.

[24:52]Anyway, see the film, really loved it.

[24:55]But the main thing that I can't stop thinking about is that at the very end, the very final

[24:59]scene of the film, Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci play brothers.

[25:03]They've had a big dust up the night before, cut to the next morning.

[25:08]They own this restaurant together.

[25:09]Stanley Tucci walks in and it's Mark Anthony, former love interest of J-Lo, plays their

[25:17]brother.

[25:17]Mark Anthony is there in the kitchen.

[25:19]He cleaned up.

[25:20]Stanley Tucci walks in.

[25:21]He says, are you hungry?

[25:21]He starts making this beautiful frittata, but he makes it with three eggs, even though his

[25:27]brother's not even there because they had this big fight.

[25:29]He makes this perfect frittata.

[25:31]One take.

[25:31]One take makes a perfect frittata, cuts it into three pieces, even though there's only

[25:37]two guys still in the room.

[25:38]And then eventually his brother comes back and they kind of like have a pseudo forgiveness

[25:44]kind of thing over this omelet.

[25:46]And he was he was leaving.

[25:47]The third egg for his brother the whole time.

[25:49]It was beautiful.

[25:50]So I just want to let you guys know that if we ever get together in one place, I'm making

[25:55]a frittata with four omelets.

[25:56]I'm four eggs, making a frittata with four eggs.

[25:58]I'm saving one for each of you.

[26:00]I was so moved by this film.

[26:01]Everybody go see it.

[26:02]That's my recommendation.

[26:03]My role in going.

[26:04]I thought for sure you're quitting this podcast at the end of the story.

[26:06]I thought that was an allegory where you were done.

[26:09]One of these times I'm going to do it.

[26:11]I'm going to walk away.

[26:12]But no, that was it.

[26:13]I just really was like a choose your own adventure book.

[26:15]That story was like a choose your own adventure book.

[26:17]Where it doesn't just end like you just go down kind of a path that maybe isn't as exciting

[26:22]as some of the other paths you could take.

[26:23]Because it started with like baseball.

[26:24]And I was like, OK, we're going to talk some baseball.

[26:26]I could do this.

[26:27]And then it was like a podcast.

[26:28]I was like, OK, we can talk about a podcast.

[26:30]And then it was fresh air to Stanley Tucci to frittata, which was Aaron's real thing.

[26:34]He didn't want to just talk about cancer.

[26:36]Yeah, exactly.

[26:37]You had to dip it to bring it back up.

[26:39]But he didn't want to talk about it.

[26:41]All he wanted to talk about was a frittata.

[26:42]That's all he wanted.

[26:43]He could have said, I watched a movie with a frittata in it.

[26:45]It was a gorgeous scene.

[26:47]I loved it.

[26:47]But he knew that we were going to make fun of him for just talking about a frittata in

[26:50]a movie.

[26:50]So not even real food now.

[26:52]He's talking about food that he sees on a screen.

[26:54]He's like, yeah, that's some food.

[26:55]Now, don't get it twisted.

[26:56]Did I try to recreate that frittata in my own kitchen this morning?

[26:59]100%.

[27:00]I tried to do every movement the same where he pulls the plate off the shelf.

[27:05]And then he uses the fork to mix the eggs.

[27:08]And he puts the fork aside.

[27:09]Then he puts some salt in the eggs.

[27:10]Then he mixes a little bit more and then puts the fork aside again.

[27:12]I tried.

[27:13]I don't know if I did very well.

[27:15]But I gave him my best shot.

[27:16]It was a beautiful.

[27:16]I just I just want to remind everybody at home.

[27:19]Think about what it's like to be married, Darren.

[27:20]Just think about it for a second.

[27:22]I like frittatas.

[27:24]All right, Matt, you and I again.

[27:29]We're back at it.

[27:31]Matt, aren't you glad we didn't interrupt him anymore?

[27:35]I was very glad we got through that.

[27:37]Now we can move on.

[27:39]I was thinking that when I was making that song, though, I bet Aaron would be the best

[27:44]person on the podcast to have sex with.

[27:46]Oh, no, this is not a good conversation.

[27:48]No, just like in general.

[27:49]Like, if somebody had to have sex with one of us, I would probably pick Aaron.

[27:52]Because of, like, day after breakfast or what?

[27:55]This is not a good conversation.

[27:55]I just know with me, it's not going to.

[27:58]It's just just pass.

[27:59]Just take a hard pass on that.

[28:01]I wish.

[28:02]Okay.

[28:02]Hard pass.

[28:03]No big deal.

[28:03]Okay.

[28:04]And no offense to you guys, but Aaron just seems like he'd be the most sensitive.

[28:07]He seems like he'd really be great to.

[28:08]It seems like we'd be making love.

[28:10]Okay.

[28:10]Yeah.

[28:11]Okay.

[28:12]Not just getting sweat on us and falling asleep.

[28:14]Matt, interrupt Rob.

[28:15]Russ.

[28:16]Rob, how's it going with you?

[28:17]Someday I'll reveal my sources that have told me that Matt is not so bad to make love with.

[28:21]What?

[28:22]What is going on?

[28:24]Aaron, I told you that.

[28:26]I had insider information.

[28:26]I had insider information on that one.

[28:28]You're going to have to edit that out.

[28:29]I told you not to tell anybody that about that.

[28:31]Okay.

[28:32]Let's see.

[28:34]Let's see how Matt's responding.

[28:35]Yeah.

[28:36]Let's see if Matt.

[28:37]Let's see if Matt has to.

[28:38]Matt, we're only going.

[28:39]How's it going with you?

[28:40]After that, I don't know.

[28:43]Yeah, Matt's like, this is the greatest day of my life.

[28:46]Well, let's talk about some more food.

[28:48]Rosie, you talked about making, you know, I figured out the best way to scramble an egg.

[28:54]Oh, I want to hear it.

[28:55]I can't believe I hadn't come up with this before, but you know, those little like little containers, those Tupperware containers, and you screw the top on.

[29:03]Yeah.

[29:04]You know, have you ever, you just, you break two or three eggs into there.

[29:07]You throw all the stuff you want in there and you just shake that son of a gun up and it's the best way to scramble an egg I've ever come up with.

[29:14]Russell, don't do it.

[29:15]No, Russell.

[29:16]Don't do it.

[29:16]Oh, no.

[29:17]But like, cause I mean, like if you do it with a fork, I didn't watch this movie.

[29:21]You hear it, guys?

[29:22]You hear it?

[29:22]You just put an egg in there.

[29:23]This is a disaster.

[29:24]You know, cause if you've got a, if you've got a fork, I can never get the yolk completely broken up, you know, and I get bored or something like that.

[29:34]Yeah.

[29:34]You know, so I've taken to that and I've started doing that and I shake that thing up and it works out great.

[29:39]Am I doing too much stuff in my life?

[29:41]Like, is that my problem?

[29:42]Am I doing like, I'm too busy?

[29:43]Yes, you are.

[29:44]And will your, will your kids eat it too?

[29:46]Matt?

[29:46]Like, or are they, will they eat your eggs?

[29:48]Yeah.

[29:49]Oh yeah.

[29:49]It's great then.

[29:50]They'll eat my eggs.

[29:51]Oh yeah.

[29:52]It really, I, Tupperware containers, Rosie was like, oh, you mean those things we cut tomatoes with?

[29:58]That was my joke I saved.

[29:59]I brought that back.

[30:00]Yeah.

[30:01]No, but we, you know, we've, we've started, we've started, we've started doing a lot of kind of, you know, traditional, not traditional, but like, what do you call it when you do it?

[30:12]You know, every week we've got Chipotle night.

[30:14]Every Sunday now we've got.

[30:16]We've got a pancake and bacon in the morning, you know, so we get up and we're making pancakes and stuff like that.

[30:21]And I think that's one of the best things that's come out of COVID for our family anyways, is that we've kind of gotten into this rhythm of actually eating dinners together where we maybe didn't before we were doing different things, but I don't know.

[30:34]So, you know, we put out, we put away all of our screens.

[30:37]We don't look, no, sometimes we do that.

[30:40]Yeah, but I don't know.

[30:41]So, I mean, it's, it's been kind of fun and, you know, you start to learn how to cook new things.

[30:44]So, you know, Rob.

[30:46]What have you done for eating with your family lately?

[30:48]I honestly think I had some sort of scarring about eating family dinners.

[30:52]I detest family dinners.

[30:54]I detest sitting down with my family eating a dinner.

[30:56]I refuse to do it.

[30:57]I have screens.

[30:58]The girls will tell you.

[30:59]I have screen required dinner sometimes where I tell them if it's just the girls and I say, you must bring a screen to this table.

[31:04]I'm not sitting here and chatting with you.

[31:06]I don't know.

[31:06]I just, I hate eating with the family because Jenny doesn't eat the food we eat.

[31:10]So we're never eating as a family together.

[31:11]We, you know, the only time we eat as a family is that my youngest has gotten into cooking food.

[31:16]When she cooks food, we'll sit down and eat it and talk about it.

[31:18]That's, that's fun-ish.

[31:20]Bullshit.

[31:22]You know, it's fun.

[31:23]That's bullshit.

[31:24]I mean, I will admit there, I mean, dinner with a four-year-old, not always exciting.

[31:28]No, but it gets better, Rosie.

[31:31]And that's maybe, you know, I aspire to it, right?

[31:33]Yeah.

[31:34]We try it.

[31:34]You know, start trying new things, but yeah.

[31:36]Matt, I like that your story was direct and to the point and didn't take us down a winding snake with the eggs at the very end of it.

[31:42]Like it wasn't like this 10-year story where it kind of looped around.

[31:45]It was right to the end.

[31:45]It was all right.

[31:46]It was almost about eggs.

[31:46]Right to it.

[31:47]Yeah, I like that.

[31:48]That was my favorite part.

[31:49]I got a lot of things I'd like to talk to you guys about.

[31:51]I got to cram them in before you start making jokes.

[31:53]I know.

[31:53]Interrupting.

[31:54]I wouldn't, I wouldn't have it any other way, but yeah, don't ever interrupt me again like that.

[31:57]Russ, rolling going.

[31:59]How's it going with you?

[32:00]Rolling going.

[32:01]It's going well.

[32:02]Last week we talked about my trip to Chicago, but I forgot to bring up one of my favorite or least favorite things about the trip.

[32:07]Something I thought we had to talk about on this.

[32:10]I needed to get your guys' opinion on something.

[32:12]All right.

[32:13]Maybe I do need advice.

[32:14]Why don't we go to the corner?

[32:14]It's not dating advice.

[32:16]Get, get, get, get.

[32:17]The corner is just for all advice, Russell.

[32:19]It's not just dating advice.

[32:20]For Russell's advice corner.

[32:21]I don't want your advice on anything else.

[32:23]Oh, yeah.

[32:23]All right.

[32:26]Maybe I ought to make a good fried egg.

[32:27]I don't know.

[32:28]Here's, here's the advice I need.

[32:29]Overheart.

[32:30]So when I was in Chicago and there's some bars in Minneapolis or restaurants that will have this, but I noticed almost every bar or restaurant in Chicago had this.

[32:38]It was the bathroom attendant.

[32:40]You go into the bathroom and there's the guy sitting in there who's got the candy.

[32:44]He's got the.

[32:46]So he's taken all the paper towels.

[32:48]So he has to give you the paper towel when you wash your hands.

[32:51]What do you guys think of bars or restaurants that have the bathroom attendant where there's someone in there watching you use the facilities, making you take the paper towels and then guilt tripping you into having to tip them or pay to use the bathroom?

[33:04]What are your thoughts on the bathroom attendant?

[33:06]That seems like a loaded question.

[33:08]Well, the thought, I mean, the whole problem I always run into is like, how much cash do you carry anymore?

[33:14]Right.

[33:14]I mean, and like, do you have any?

[33:16]Like dollar dollar bills?

[33:17]I mean, they're probably carrying like 20s or, you know, something like that where, you know, if I had two bucks, great.

[33:23]Here you go.

[33:23]Whatever.

[33:24]If you don't have any cash on you, you feel horrible.

[33:26]You're like an asshole, right?

[33:27]Yeah.

[33:28]You know, so what do you do?

[33:29]I don't know.

[33:29]So, yeah, that's the only thing I don't like.

[33:31]But you're right, Matt.

[33:32]It sort of like the the rate of inflation doesn't match with the denominations of bills we have.

[33:38]I had this happen.

[33:39]There's a paper called a newspaper called Street Scene in Oakland that used to be a dollar and people would sell them outside of coffee shops.

[33:46]And so if you had a dollar, you'd, you know, buy a street scene.

[33:49]And I tried to buy one a year or two ago.

[33:52]And the guy was like, no, no, no.

[33:52]They're two dollars now.

[33:53]Well, I only had a dollar bill and a ten dollar bill.

[33:56]So then it's like, OK, well, here's a ten.

[33:58]Here's ten dollars for my paper, which I don't mind.

[34:00]But yeah, I'm always happy to tip those guys.

[34:03]But yeah, if you're not carrying multiple ones now, clearly a dollar is not enough to tip someone for anything.

[34:09]So you need to tip more than that.

[34:11]But if you're not carrying a bunch of ones, it makes for an awkward situation.

[34:14]But beyond what is appropriate.

[34:16]For tipping, like, why should you have to tip to use a bathroom at a restaurant you're at?

[34:20]Well, you don't have to.

[34:21]Right.

[34:22]I mean, that's the thing.

[34:22]You don't have to.

[34:23]But I love it.

[34:25]There's one place in New York City that has a bathroom attendant.

[34:27]I love going in there.

[34:28]I feel like a goddamn king.

[34:30]I am not turning on that sink.

[34:31]I'm getting a paper towel handed to me.

[34:33]And guess what?

[34:34]They got little candies in that bathroom and they hand me a candy and I eat it.

[34:37]I don't care that it's candy that's been sitting in the bathroom.

[34:39]Well, hundreds of people have been taking the worst of the New York City's dumps in that bathroom.

[34:44]I am.

[34:46]I am blessed to be king like.

[34:48]And yes, I will drop him a five every once in a while and just be like, hey, hey, this is the way I roll.

[34:52]You know, no big deal.

[34:53]Not because I once in a while or every time you're in there.

[34:57]Oh, every once in a while.

[34:58]Like I said, if I don't have any cash, I yell no when he tries to wash my hands and I run out and make a big scene.

[35:04]I would be like, hey, I got to use the ATM.

[35:06]I'll get you next time.

[35:07]And then I would be out of that bar and go to the next spot where there's no bathroom attendant.

[35:10]I think the move would be if you know you're going to be there for the night.

[35:14]You leave.

[35:16]9 or 20 at the beginning of the night.

[35:17]And how much are you going to the bathroom in a night, Aaron?

[35:20]Just in case, man.

[35:21]And maybe and then maybe you get friends are going to go in there and not going to leave a tip.

[35:24]You're trying to, you know, do this for the good of the group.

[35:27]Wow.

[35:29]So you're so you're like, oh, this is twenty dollars.

[35:31]But my friend, I think he has an upset tummy.

[35:34]He's going to be coming in later.

[35:35]He's got a green shirt, so he's not going to tip you later.

[35:38]But don't he drink a big old pumpkin spice latte.

[35:40]You don't know what's about to happen in there.

[35:42]So he's the guy.

[35:43]Keep an eye out for you.

[35:45]Have to leave a different.

[35:46]Tip, depending on what you use the bathroom for.

[35:48]Like, if you're just using the urinal, is it a lesser tip than if you had something that wasn't sitting well and have to use some, you know, the stall?

[35:54]I mean, I hope they're not actually cleaning the toilet.

[35:56]I don't think you need to come out of the stall and explain what happened to talk about the tip.

[36:01]Like, that doesn't seem like that's part of it.

[36:03]You know what I mean?

[36:04]But it does make you like not.

[36:06]I think, though, when you have somebody in there and that you're going to tip them, you do feel like, OK, I don't need to hide this.

[36:11]Right.

[36:11]He's in here.

[36:12]He's probably heard the nastiest stuff you could possibly imagine over the course of a weekend.

[36:16]I don't need to go poop and flush at the same time to try to act like nothing's going on here.

[36:20]I can give it the full dumb and dumber, all out facial eyes crossed, you know, making noises while I'm doing whatever noise.

[36:31]But then when you're leaving, Rob, do you make eye contact with him when he hands you the paper towel or no eye contact?

[36:36]Absolutely.

[36:36]You make eye contact.

[36:37]Yeah, of course.

[36:38]I swear to God, this is what I was going to talk about anyway, because I know we're running up against time here.

[36:42]I saw a tick tock and I'm wondering if you guys I just want to tick tock.

[36:45]I want you to.

[36:46]Try it once.

[36:46]Oh, tick.

[36:47]I'm addicted to it.

[36:48]OK, I want you to try this once.

[36:50]Will you guys just promise without listening to it?

[36:52]First of all, I got to ask you guys.

[36:53]You're my good friends.

[36:54]Have any of you watched the guy who gets turned on trying to get into a balloon video?

[36:58]That was probably the worst video you've ever said.

[37:01]I said it to you and I said, please reply when you watch that.

[37:03]No reply.

[37:04]I've done that with three groups of friends.

[37:05]You didn't want a response for it.

[37:07]It was really bad.

[37:08]I was on vacation.

[37:08]Yeah, it's a perfect time to watch it.

[37:12]Aaron, this is like when I go on dates and don't respond.

[37:15]Or when I.

[37:16]When I'm out of town, I don't respond to women I'm dating via text message.

[37:19]This is like when Aaron's on vacation, he's not responding to your bullshit text, Rob.

[37:23]I respond to all of your texts.

[37:24]When I send you a video of a guy who pretends like he doesn't want to get stuck in a balloon,

[37:29]but it turns out he really wants to.

[37:30]It's what turns him on.

[37:31]Then he gets in there and he goes, oh, drat.

[37:32]I can't believe I'm stuck in this balloon.

[37:34]That video is gold.

[37:35]You need to watch it and reply to me.

[37:37]And instead, you guys are not good friends.

[37:39]But I want to say, OK, but I'm not saying that we need to get into a balloon.

[37:42]You got more stories about frittatas because we're ready for them.

[37:44]This is what Rob's doing.

[37:46]I was going to say to answer your to answer your question that you asked earlier.

[37:52]Yes, you've got too much going on in your life.

[37:54]I think you need to simplify your life a little bit.

[37:56]If this is what's now you're you're sending off to us.

[38:00]Yes, but no, that listen that I have that ready to go.

[38:04]You know, we get like we get like cool, like bat flips from some people.

[38:08]We get like awesome, you know, end zone dances, things like that.

[38:12]And you're sending us a guy who's going into a balloon.

[38:15]And getting.

[38:16]Well, he pretends, though, he doesn't want to be in it, which is part of that.

[38:19]I think you see you haven't seen the video, obviously, because it's actually really good.

[38:22]Now, when I send you a video and you just see that link, do you just are you like, I need to wait till I'm in a certain place to watch this video?

[38:29]Or are you excited to watch a video that I send you a link to like.

[38:31]I absolutely go to a better make sure that everybody's asleep and I'm in a locked room so nobody can walk.

[38:40]Yeah, absolutely.

[38:41]You don't want more hot sauce on feet.

[38:43]Tick tock.

[38:44]Somebody is putting.

[38:46]Toilet paper into their fridge and then using it from there.

[38:49]Would you guys.

[38:50]Doesn't that sound fun?

[38:52]Huh?

[38:52]Does that sound fun?

[38:53]Why would you.

[38:54]I think it's OK.

[38:57]I don't understand.

[38:57]I'm not saying the freezer.

[38:59]I'm saying the fridge.

[39:00]Toilet paper in the fridge.

[39:01]This is a cat crunch in the microwave situation.

[39:03]It sounds wonderful.

[39:03]The whole fridge is covered in poop.

[39:05]This is not a good idea.

[39:06]Yeah, I didn't think about putting it back.

[39:08]I guess I was visually like a new role and then just living life to the fullest the first time.

[39:13]Would you do that with me, Aaron?

[39:14]If it was like.

[39:16]Fridge and roll.

[39:16]Would you do it that way?

[39:17]Why would I be doing this with you?

[39:18]I didn't know.

[39:18]We could talk about it.

[39:20]It would be fun to talk about it.

[39:22]We could start our own text chain.

[39:23]OK, fine.

[39:25]Is tick tock.

[39:26]That's like one of those things where they've got algorithms, right?

[39:29]So they like point different things towards what you want to see, right?

[39:34]Is that the deal with tick tock?

[39:36]You know, who knows how it works?

[39:37]It's probably made a mistake.

[39:39]No way.

[39:40]That's the kind of stuff I'm into.

[39:41]You know what?

[39:42]Don't I have time?

[39:43]No more time.

[39:43]Talk about the album.

[39:44]Here we go.

[39:46]For nobody's favorite part of the show.

[39:47]Let's not talk about tick tock anymore or ever again.

[39:49]Thank you.

[39:50]And don't look at the history of the back.

[39:53]They had a better tick tock or people.

[39:55]But Aaron, if you want to send me, show me a text.

[39:59]It's just cold.

[40:01]I think it'd be fun.

[40:02]Freezer to maybe.

[40:03]Let's talk about.

[40:05]Let's talk about appetite for destruction.

[40:08]This is Guns N' Roses debut album.

[40:11]Guys, what was the first single off this album?

[40:14]If you had to guess.

[40:16]Paradise City.

[40:17]Paradise City.

[40:18]Absolutely not.

[40:19]It was.

[40:19]It's so easy with Mr.

[40:21]Brownstone on the B side.

[40:22]Can you imagine a band whiffing so hard that that's their first single on the album?

[40:26]Like just a disastrous idea.

[40:29]It's so easy.

[40:30]The thing is, is that this is the debut album of Guns N' Roses.

[40:33]It's the best selling debut album.

[40:36]Like Dubuque, Iowa.

[40:37]Dubuque album.

[40:38]Is there a track there?

[40:40]Guys, it's your debut.

[40:41]It's my debut.

[40:42]No, W.

[40:43]It's W.

[40:44]The debut.

[40:45]One minute.

[40:45]Dubuque one time in my whole life.

[40:47]I have family there.

[40:47]I only went once.

[40:48]Maybe twice.

[40:49]For a wedding, I think.

[40:50]Hey, do you want to talk about Toilet Paper in the Fridge now, Russell?

[40:53]I'm back.

[40:54]So listen, this is the absolutely.

[40:57]They released this album in 87, but it didn't get.

[41:02]They didn't get big for two years because it wasn't until they started touring and David

[41:08]Geffen begged MTV to put Paradise City onto MTV at like two o'clock in the morning to just

[41:14]play it.

[41:15]They said, play it.

[41:15]Play it.

[41:15]Three nights, two in the morning.

[41:17]After that, we don't care anymore.

[41:18]And the first time they played, it became their most requested video of the week.

[41:22]So they just blew up literally from their music video.

[41:25]This is the best selling debut album of all time.

[41:29]They also wanted to put November Rain.

[41:32]Stop that.

[41:32]They wanted to put November Rain on this album, but they figured because they already had

[41:36]Sweet Child of Mine that they already had a ballad on here and they didn't want to slow

[41:39]down again.

[41:40]But I just want you to picture this album with November Rain on it.

[41:43]Probably it would be the greatest.

[41:44]It would be like number one.

[41:45]A, like there would be no list.

[41:47]It would be all 500 albums.

[41:48]And in 1999, I just want to remind you, Axl Rose re-recorded this whole album with brand

[41:55]new members.

[41:56]And that album has never, ever been released.

[41:59]Because why would you?

[42:00]A little look behind the curtain.

[42:02]We did record an episode for Appetite for Destruction as our very first test episode later.

[42:07]You will never hear that.

[42:09]It sounds absolutely terrible.

[42:10]There are almost no jokes whatsoever.

[42:12]Like we did not reach the sophistication.

[42:15]That we have for this episode.

[42:17]We didn't talk about refrigerated toilet paper or anything.

[42:20]So let's stop talking about this and let's get into this awesome, awesome album.

[42:25]I'm going to say it right now.

[42:26]Guns N' Roses.

[42:27]The number one thing I think about when I think about county fairs for some reason.

[42:30]Okay.

[42:31]Listen to this.

[42:32]You get on the Gravitron.

[42:33]So good.

[42:34]Welcome to the jungle.

[42:36]Axl Rose wrote this when he got off a bus in New York City and an unhoused person said

[42:44]to him,

[42:45]do you know where you are?

[42:46]You're in the jungle, baby.

[42:48]You're going to die.

[42:48]Is this a whistle or is that him screaming?

[42:51]What is going on at the beginning of the song?

[42:53]That's his howl.

[42:53]That's him.

[42:54]That is Axl Rose.

[42:55]There's no way it's a howl.

[42:56]It's got to be a whistle or something.

[42:58]No.

[42:58]A siren.

[42:59]It's a pharyngeal grit.

[43:02]Pharyngeal wrath.

[43:03]Yes.

[43:04]Pharyngeal distortion.

[43:05]I mean, if it was a siren, it would.

[43:07]Wait.

[43:09]I do hear it back there.

[43:10]I do hear it in the song.

[43:12]Oh my God.

[43:14]This is, we've talked about this before.

[43:15]You put the record on, you hear the first song.

[43:17]You have to call someone during this one.

[43:19]Yes.

[43:19]This song, this song has to be in our top five opening tracks ever.

[43:23]I know.

[43:24]Absolutely.

[43:24]I know there's what's going on.

[43:26]We've done a lot of great opening tracks.

[43:27]This one has to be on the list, doesn't it?

[43:29]Yes.

[43:29]It's respect.

[43:30]What's going on?

[43:32]This one.

[43:33]Tax man.

[43:34]It's no.

[43:35]Huh?

[43:36]No.

[43:37]I just said no.

[43:39]All right.

[43:42]Go back and listen to it.

[43:43]It's a great opening song.

[43:43]You guys are wrong about that.

[43:45]Uh, yeah.

[43:47]So like I said, this was the song that made guns and roses blow up.

[43:50]Like they literally played this video early morning on MTV.

[43:53]People heard it.

[43:54]They went nuts.

[43:55]Uh, and you can understand why, like this band, we were talking last week about what

[43:59]is, how do you, how do you, how do you classify this band?

[44:02]Right.

[44:02]They're not heavy metal, but they're not a rock and roll band.

[44:05]Like they're much harder than a band like Aerosmith or what you think of as those seventies

[44:08]rock bands.

[44:09]And what was the term that, that the Wikipedia used that we decided was a pretty good term.

[44:12]Hard rock maybe.

[44:15]Yeah.

[44:15]American hard rock.

[44:16]Like it's the perfect description because it's, it's, it's, I mean, you can't listen,

[44:20]listen to this.

[44:20]It's so easy, right?

[44:22]Not only their first single, they would use this to open most of their shows.

[44:26]This is that poetry that we talked about when we did this as a, um, no, we can't keep referencing

[44:35]things we did on episode that nobody ever heard.

[44:37]I'm trying to, I'm trying to goad Matt into comparing this to Dylan.

[44:42]No, I think that's a later song actually.

[44:45]He's talking about nasty stuff.

[44:46]No, isn't this where he says, turn around, I got something for you.

[44:48]Isn't this it?

[44:49]Isn't this the one?

[44:50]Oh yeah.

[44:50]He's, well, you know, the song is about, it is about when they were, when they were trying

[44:55]to make it big as a band, they had absolutely no money.

[44:57]And so they were famous for taking money out of purses.

[45:01]When somebody else in the band was sleeping with that woman, they would go through rifles

[45:05]of the purse and take money.

[45:06]So a classy, it might surprise you that Axl Rose and Slash, not, maybe not the classiest

[45:12]of guys in their early twenties.

[45:13]They're the guys.

[45:14]They're the guys who take the money out of the tip jar in the bathroom from the bathroom

[45:18]attendant when he's handing the towel to someone else, right?

[45:20]Oh yeah.

[45:20]No doubt.

[45:21]Absolutely.

[45:22]They're, they're, they're in the bathroom.

[45:24]They take a handful of Jolly Ranchers, not just one.

[45:26]They take a handful of those.

[45:27]The whole thing.

[45:28]Yeah.

[45:28]Oh, and they're saying it's so easy.

[45:32]Listen, uh, this song night train got all the way up to 93 on the chart.

[45:38]Here we go.

[45:38]So we think of guns and roses as being Axl, uh, Rose, hence the name, the titular.

[45:44]Singer slash Izzy on rhythm guitar.

[45:48]Although this one, Izzy is on the intro that you're hearing right now.

[45:52]Slash has said that night train, which is a song, believe it or not about the drink night

[45:58]train that they love to drink is his favorite song to play.

[46:01]I read, they said that if you're looking for Thunderbird wine, you'll find night train

[46:07]and that'll fuck you up twice as bad as Thunderbird.

[46:09]And it's a lot cheaper.

[46:10]So I also had a drink tonight, but I did not get Thunderbird.

[46:14]But I'm going to share my drink with you guys.

[46:16]Oh, so stoked for this.

[46:18]Wait, wait, wait.

[46:19]If this is your drink segment, Russell, as bad as I want to hear it, we got to.

[46:21]Just hold up your drink and let us all take a look.

[46:25]I was going to make this thing.

[46:27]And I was like, we already have a song.

[46:28]Yes.

[46:32]Quick stop.

[46:33]Quick stop on that.

[46:34]So for this one, I went back to booze and vinyl.

[46:37]It's been a while since we've gone to our book, but we were going to booze and vinyl

[46:40]here.

[46:40]And on side a actually for this album, there's not.

[46:44]It's not a side A and side B.

[46:45]It's actually a side G and a side R.

[46:47]Did you guys know that?

[46:48]No, I did not.

[46:49]That kicks ass.

[46:49]Love it.

[46:50]So for the side G, they recommend a kamikaze, which was a popular shot during the 80s.

[46:56]You can also serve this up in a cocktail glass.

[46:59]No.

[46:59]But why would you?

[47:00]No.

[47:01]Interesting fact.

[47:01]This drink is the drink that spawned the Cosmo.

[47:04]You just need to add cranberry juice.

[47:06]So here's what's in their recommending for a kamikaze.

[47:11]And then I'll let you know what my substitutions were.

[47:14]Russell has gone to straight shots for his drink.

[47:16]This is my favorite.

[47:17]This is great for Guns N' Roses, though.

[47:18]I got to admit.

[47:19]So they recommend one ounce of vodka, three quarters ounce triple sec, and three quarters

[47:24]of ounce fresh lime juice.

[47:26]Shake it, pour it into a shot glass, right?

[47:28]Seems pretty straightforward.

[47:29]Okay.

[47:30]But we already know that you don't have any triple sec.

[47:32]I know that.

[47:32]I know that already.

[47:33]So I've just decided.

[47:34]Guys, I actually did a little research, and it turns out that orange curacao and triple

[47:39]sec is really the same thing.

[47:41]One just has a little bit different color, and they're from different places.

[47:44]But everything I've read is you can substitute them evenly so that your orange curacao in

[47:48]triple sec is out.

[47:49]But the big switch I had to make on this one.

[47:52]You guys are going to love this.

[47:54]Oh, no.

[47:54]I didn't have any lime juice in my house tonight.

[47:57]I didn't have any limes.

[47:57]I didn't have any lime juice, and I didn't have time to go to the store.

[48:00]So I was thinking, well, what can I substitute for this?

[48:02]And I was like, you know what?

[48:03]I've got a raspberry lime white claw.

[48:06]And if I just drop a little bit of white claw in there, it's going to be like a raspberry

[48:10]kamikaze.

[48:11]And it is so good.

[48:12]Look at this drink.

[48:13]It's so good.

[48:14]It's a little orange in the kamikaze, and it's a little more carbonated, but it is

[48:17]badass.

[48:18]Oh, my God.

[48:20]That makes the vodka margarita look like child's play.

[48:23]Perfection.

[48:24]It's going to fuck me twice as bad as Thunderbird, and it's a lot cheaper.

[48:29]That is incredible that you were drinking a kamikaze made from a white claw.

[48:35]I can't believe it.

[48:36]All right.

[48:38]So talking more about Guns and Roses out together.

[48:44]Forget me.

[48:44]I can't tell if I love this song or I hate this song.

[48:50]It's somewhere in the middle.

[48:51]There are times where I love it, and there's times where I can't stand it.

[48:54]What do you guys think of it?

[48:55]Feels like a filler to me.

[48:58]So, I mean, you know, just put some loud guitars in the background and see how fast you can

[49:04]go.

[49:04]But don't you think that the problem is with this album, right, is that the highs are so

[49:08]high that even something that's not even really a low is just going to seem like a low.

[49:13]It's going to seem terrible because it's not Sweet Child of Mine.

[49:15]It's not Paradise City.

[49:17]It's not Welcome to the Jungle.

[49:18]But Matt mentioned the guitars.

[49:20]The guitars in that song are still awesome, right?

[49:22]That's like 80s hard rock.

[49:23]The guitars are fantastic.

[49:25]What is it about Guns and Roses that other bands have just not been able to capture?

[49:29]Right?

[49:30]Is it just the fact that these guys legitimately are sleazy rock stars?

[49:33]Or is it Slash's sound or Axl's voice?

[49:37]Or what is it?

[49:37]I think it's Axl's voice, right?

[49:39]I mean, you put that guitar on any hair metal band.

[49:43]You know, and you've got some high voice singing.

[49:46]It's not Axl's voice.

[49:47]This is I think it's absolutely Axl's voice.

[49:49]It's that on top of the music.

[49:51]Yeah, it's that.

[49:52]And I do think I don't know how this happened, but I did some reading on who produced this

[49:58]album.

[49:58]It was a guy named Mike Clink, who then went on to work with Megadeth and some other bands.

[50:01]I don't know how this worked out, but I listened to Rose Tattoo, who was a Australian band

[50:08]who Axl has shouted out a few times, as well as another Australian pub band called Angels.

[50:13]And it's the same style of music.

[50:15]But yeah, Matt, you're totally right.

[50:17]Number one, it's Axl's voice.

[50:18]But Axl got to go to the studio and do things line by line and do it over and over again

[50:23]until he felt it was perfect.

[50:24]But the whole thing, and Rob, I'm sure you noticed this, is mixed perfectly.

[50:29]It sounds perfect.

[50:31]Everything, every note is right.

[50:32]Everything is loud.

[50:33]The guitar sound is fat and chunky.

[50:36]I mean, so I think it is two, between Axl and Slash, it's two extremely talented guys.

[50:41]They hooked up with the right producer.

[50:43]Who was willing to be patient with them and let them get their sound right.

[50:47]And that's what, that was the difference.

[50:49]Because other bands were playing similar stuff, but the sound just wasn't quite the same.

[50:53]It's just that, like, it's like watching Olympic sprinters, right?

[50:57]Like, the eighth place guy in the Olympic final still ran 10.1.

[51:01]But the difference between 10.1 and 9.8 is just that extra thing.

[51:05]And that's what Guns N' Roses had.

[51:08]I'll tell you, when I have that fat, chunky sound, I make sure to tip the guy a five.

[51:13]And that's it, man.

[51:14]And I would do it.

[51:15]I would, yeah.

[51:16]You put the lid down first, though?

[51:17]You got to put the lid down.

[51:19]There's so much poop flying in your ear.

[51:21]There's not lids in a public bathroom, so.

[51:22]Matt, Matt, why are you pulling that string?

[51:24]Only because all this bodily fluid stuff and popping pimples and earwax and anything we can think of just gets Russell going.

[51:34]And don't check out the Beck to Get Better TikTok, what it's watching.

[51:37]It's just not important.

[51:39]So, Mr. Brownstone, they wrote this song.

[51:43]Slash and Izzy Stradlin, when they were sitting in Izzy's apartment, talking about how much it sucked that they were addicted to heroin.

[51:50]So, this used to be my favorite track on this album.

[51:54]It's not anymore.

[51:54]I've got some other favorites.

[51:55]But I do think this is the one that has the most, to me, the most Zeppelin influence, where the guitars, the rhythm guitar and the drums are really in sync.

[52:05]It sounds like Bonham and Page to me.

[52:07]I don't know any, obviously, I don't know any words from that song.

[52:09]And I still sing just the song.

[52:12]It's great.

[52:13]But I'll tell you a couple.

[52:14]I'll tell you a couple.

[52:15]I used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do it.

[52:18]So, a little got more and more.

[52:19]And that's basically the whole thing.

[52:21]Sounds like Aaron making that frittata.

[52:22]He's making it with three eggs.

[52:24]It's not enough.

[52:25]No, because if it's going to be for us, I've got to make four.

[52:27]At what age in your life did you know that Mr. Brownstone was about drugs?

[52:32]Did you know this, like, when you heard this as a teenager or not?

[52:35]When was our test episode?

[52:37]September of 2020 or whatever.

[52:41]That's what I figured.

[52:42]I thought it was about a guy who just lived in a brownstone.

[52:47]And I was like, boy, they're hating that with some rich people.

[52:49]I don't know.

[52:51]It's kind of hidden message about drugs.

[52:53]But it turns out there's other artists that have much more direct messages about drugs

[52:57]in their songs.

[52:57]And one of them is Beck.

[52:59]And he's got this song called MTV makes me want to smoke crack.

[53:03]And so we got to check out that song.

[53:05]Why we like that.

[53:12]This is so terrible.

[53:15]This was on the flip side of one of his singles with Loser.

[53:19]And so when it comes to making a song that has a very direct message about drugs, who did it better?

[53:25]Beck did it better.

[53:27]I feel like MTV is way better for alcohol or pot.

[53:30]I don't understand the crack part, but I've never done cracks.

[53:32]I don't know.

[53:33]What he said, Aaron, was that everything on MTV is perfect and it's bright.

[53:37]And the image greatly contrasts with the dull lives of those who watch MTV and buy into what they produce.

[53:42]A counterpoint, Beavis and Butthead made me laugh my ass off when I watched it.

[53:46]And I think it really did form a big part of what I thought was funny.

[53:49]And Mr.

[53:50]Brownstone, he talks about he goes to bed around seven.

[53:53]He wakes up.

[53:54]He wakes up around seven.

[53:56]He gets out of bed around nine.

[53:57]I am doing the same exact thing when I'm waking up in the morning.

[54:00]I got an alarm set for six.

[54:02]I am checking social media until 615.

[54:06]It is a waste of 15 minutes.

[54:07]I don't get anything from it.

[54:08]I cannot stop doing it.

[54:10]You guys, like, how do you get up in the morning?

[54:12]Just pop.

[54:12]Pop right out of bed or what?

[54:13]I'm a snoozer.

[54:14]I hit the snooze for about 40 minutes.

[54:16]I snooze.

[54:17]I've got multiple alarms.

[54:18]I'm snoozing every two minutes.

[54:19]Have you ever thought of just not doing that, Russell?

[54:22]Like just setting the alarm for later?

[54:24]Nope.

[54:25]Have you ever just thought about not opening your phone and just putting it out on the counter?

[54:32]Yeah.

[54:34]Every night.

[54:35]I'm like, okay, tomorrow morning, I'm going to just, I'm going to get up and go.

[54:38]Never happens.

[54:39]It's just like Guns N' Roses said, you know?

[54:42]I tried to do a little and a little didn't cut it.

[54:44]So now I'm doing more and more.

[54:45]More and more.

[54:46]Okay.

[54:46]It's like Russell and snoozing.

[54:48]Snoozing is his night train.

[54:49]You guys know, I live in a tiny house.

[54:51]My son's bedroom is next door to ours.

[54:53]I haven't set an alarm for four and a half years.

[54:54]He gets up between five and seven every morning and that's, that's the alarm.

[54:58]They're just like when he bursts into the room, that's when the day starts.

[55:01]I don't have to worry about any of that shit.

[55:02]Again, Aaron, like if I asked you right now, you're working tomorrow, right?

[55:06]Yeah.

[55:07]What time, what time do you have to be at work?

[55:09]What would you tell me?

[55:09]What do you mean be at work?

[55:11]I'm working at home.

[55:12]Okay.

[55:12]So what time do you need to start working from home?

[55:14]Um, well, tomorrow, my first meeting is at one.

[55:19]So, oh God, oh God, you don't need an alarm.

[55:21]And that's one California time.

[55:23]So God only knows what time it is.

[55:24]It comes like, yeah, I'm going to get a bunch of emails tomorrow that are annoying as shit

[55:28]from people who are nothing but headaches, but it's all internal stuff.

[55:30]Like they can wait until Tuesday or Wednesday while I'm off on Tuesday.

[55:33]They can wait until Wednesday or Thursday, whatever.

[55:34]Like they can, they can, they're not going to go anywhere else.

[55:37]The idea of me waiting a couple of days to email back a parent.

[55:41]Oh, that'd be so sweet.

[55:42]I can't.

[55:42]I need to live your life, Aaron.

[55:43]I'm so jealous.

[55:44]Maybe that's why I make fun of you is I hate it.

[55:46]Matt, what's your morning routine?

[55:47]I'm imagining Matt immediately gets out of bed, goes and takes a shower.

[55:51]And like, it's all like his clothes there.

[55:53]He jumps in, he goes down a slide with all of his clothes on it.

[55:56]He gets into the clothes, walks away.

[55:58]Usually it's somewhat, somewhat close to that.

[56:01]But usually I get up with the coffee on, make the boys lunches.

[56:06]And then, you know, so that's all ready to go.

[56:08]And he's going to take a nice easy shower.

[56:11]We'll listen to a little K fan in the morning.

[56:12]And then, yeah, clothes are ready to go.

[56:14]And I hop up and go.

[56:15]So I don't set an alarm.

[56:17]I haven't set an alarm for a long time.

[56:18]This is making me.

[56:19]Your passion wakes you up, Matt.

[56:20]Yeah.

[56:21]But, you know, I don't know.

[56:22]It's a, I don't know if it's a skill or if it's a sickness that I just, you know,

[56:26]if I say I got to get up around seven, I can wake up around seven.

[56:30]Get out of bed around nine.

[56:32]That old man is a real motherfucker.

[56:34]I was waiting for it.

[56:35]Yeah.

[56:36]So now I kind of want to marry Matt.

[56:38]Well, you guys are making it real hard on me because I would like somebody who makes the lunches for my kids.

[56:41]Yeah.

[56:42]Uh, which should be clear.

[56:43]My wife actually does.

[56:44]I'd never would do that.

[56:45]All right.

[56:46]Paradise city.

[56:47]Only song on the album.

[56:51]Played by Axl Rose.

[56:53]Yeah.

[56:55]The synths to me.

[56:56]Sounds like they were listening to Prince.

[56:57]Prince.

[57:00]These drums sound so good.

[57:03]And I did read the drums were recorded in like six days.

[57:06]Like Stephen Adler had to just like lay all of his drums down and then slash and Axl to draw the rest of the studio time.

[57:12]But the drums sound amazing.

[57:14]Yep.

[57:15]Those, those voices.

[57:16]I'm telling you that the, the, the, it is the recording on those voices is so good.

[57:20]It makes a song like paradise city.

[57:22]When you really read the lyrics and say them out loud, they're not, you're not like blown away by it, but that I've heard these songs easily hundreds of times in my life.

[57:30]And I still, every time I sat down to listen to this album, I was excited to hear paradise city.

[57:34]It got me fired up still.

[57:36]Like it's crazy.

[57:37]That's stoked.

[57:38]A song, by the way, wrote written while drinking in the back of a van.

[57:42]Honestly, I don't know.

[57:42]I don't know.

[57:42]I don't know.

[57:42]So they were like, Hey, we're in this van.

[57:45]We're on tour.

[57:45]We're driving around.

[57:46]What should we do?

[57:46]Let's drink and write songs.

[57:47]We're guns and roses.

[57:48]We'll do whatever we want.

[57:49]Uh, my Michelle.

[57:51]So this song is, uh, Axl Rose.

[58:06]There's a, he wanted to write a song about a woman or I want somebody to write a song.

[58:10]No, I want somebody to write a song.

[58:12]Just about me.

[58:13]So he wrote the song, my Michelle, and he kept it like for real.

[58:16]Cause the dad is in pornography.

[58:17]The mom did have a drug addiction.

[58:19]He's just like, yeah, I'm going to write a fucking song about it.

[58:21]This rules.

[58:21]Rob, how much different would your life be if your dad had worked in pornography?

[58:25]Okay.

[58:29]Well, I, now I thought about some stuff that I, I really tried to think about.

[58:34]I was like, Oh, maybe he's a cameraman or like a script writer.

[58:39]Like that was my first thing.

[58:40]It was like writing scripts.

[58:41]Well, didn't you?

[58:42]Didn't you say he used to have those, those, uh, balls on the ceiling, the mirror balls?

[58:45]Okay.

[58:46]Oh, he loves, loves a disco ball.

[58:49]As we know, it would be, I mean, it would be different.

[58:54]Like you would, what would you talk about a family dinners?

[58:56]I don't know.

[58:58]Like, Hey dad, how was your work today?

[58:59]It'd be like those people in love.

[59:00]Actually.

[59:00]He's like, Oh, it was another hard day.

[59:02]I liked it.

[59:03]All of these songs.

[59:04]I get it.

[59:05]I get it.

[59:06]I liked it.

[59:08]So many of these songs is similar to, I mean, rocket queen to, to a greater degree, but

[59:13]paradise city, they like, they love to do this thing of like, let's do the slow hard chords

[59:18]and then let's speed it up.

[59:19]And like, it's to me, it's all like building to November rain somehow, but that's cause

[59:23]that's how my brain works because like November rain was the pinnacle of, you know, rock and

[59:28]roll to me as a kid.

[59:28]But I love that they like doing this thing of like, we're doing one rhythm and then we're

[59:33]going to speed it up.

[59:33]And that's our thing.

[59:34]And I like that it just keeps coming back.

[59:36]Did, did you guys read that?

[59:38]That November rain was considered for this album.

[59:40]They decided not to put on this album.

[59:41]Can you imagine this album?

[59:42]If it had November rain on it, it would be number one, right?

[59:45]It would be like the number one, like nothing else ahead of it.

[59:47]It would be like 500 albums of this one.

[59:49]I think that's what you guys can do to hurt me more than anything else is act like you're

[59:54]not listening to the words I'm saying is actually the most hurtful thing you can do.

[59:57]Like you can make fun of me.

[59:59]You can say all these things and I can just brush it off.

[60:01]You can talk about my dad.

[60:02]I'm like, whatever.

[60:02]But when you're like, Oh, cause I was really upset when you saw me, I was like, what the

[60:06]fuck?

[60:06]I already mentioned that.

[60:08]I'm still upset about it.

[60:09]I know it's a joke now and I'm still upset.

[60:11]Yeah.

[60:12]Well, I think even if, and then even like the sports you played, right?

[60:15]Like, like a football locker room, how many times are like a weight room or something

[60:19]like this?

[60:19]How many times did you hear three or four of these songs?

[60:22]And then like Metallica, you know, the, the black album, um, playing in the background

[60:26]was like, this is what you grew up on.

[60:30]I guess when we were like every, every Vikings kickoff is welcome to the jungle.

[60:33]Isn't that what's playing before the kickoff?

[60:35]I think it's a lot of these songs are embedded in sports and it is.

[60:38]Our timeframe.

[60:39]It's right in the wheelhouse of when we would have started being into music, right?

[60:41]And that's one of the things I love about this album is that for me, and it sounds like

[60:46]others on this podcast, it's completely tied with masculinity.

[60:51]It's about being fast and tough and being in the weight room and the Vikings are going

[60:55]to kick off and they're going to fucking destroy somebody.

[60:57]And these dudes were wearing eyeliner and their hair was feathered.

[61:01]I just love this whole, like they were playing on that, that whole thing.

[61:05]Like welcome to the jungle.

[61:06]Sounds like the baddest, toughest thing of all time.

[61:08]And then.

[61:08]And then these guys weighed 140 pounds and they were wearing makeup.

[61:13]I just love the play between what we all were thinking about.

[61:17]And we've talked about this.

[61:18]If you play sports, you're probably not a musician, right?

[61:22]I mean, like there's obviously crossovers, right?

[61:25]But like the baddest thing you can do as an, as an athlete is be like the number one football,

[61:30]you know, but like all that, all that guy wants to do is be up on stage, be an Axl Rose,

[61:35]like singing in front of a big crowd.

[61:36]And it's like vice versa.

[61:37]So I don't know.

[61:38]It's like, it's Russell.

[61:40]You, yeah.

[61:41]You could pick famous musician or famous athlete.

[61:43]Would you, would you pick what sport do I get to play or whatever you want?

[61:47]I'll let you pick and I'll let you pick all that.

[61:50]It's a dealer's choice or what?

[61:52]You're the dealer.

[61:52]I don't know.

[61:53]If I, if I go the musician route and live it up to the edge, do I get to live longer?

[61:58]Do I die early?

[61:58]Okay.

[62:00]Jesus Christ.

[62:01]You live the same amount in both scenarios.

[62:04]Okay.

[62:04]And you make the same amount of money in both scenarios.

[62:06]Ripe old age of 43.

[62:08]Okay.

[62:08]Which one are you going to pick?

[62:10]I think I might be the lead guitarist or the lead singer for the band.

[62:15]I think every time you perform, people are cheering you.

[62:17]They're into you.

[62:18]You are, you are making someone's night amazing in sports.

[62:21]Like you get out.

[62:22]If you're a baseball player, you get out seven times out of three.

[62:25]You're, you're getting booed half the time.

[62:27]You're losing half the time.

[62:28]Almost every season, unless you win the world series or the Superbowl, you end on a losing

[62:33]note.

[62:33]If you're in a band, every night could be a rush for you and you could be bringing all

[62:37]these people and joining.

[62:38]Every night.

[62:39]I think I'm going to, I think I'm going to take the band.

[62:40]Yeah.

[62:41]Plus getting out seven out of three times.

[62:43]I mean, that's improper.

[62:44]I was going to leave that alone, but yeah, that's a math joke.

[62:48]Uh, yeah, I, I think I would be the problem though.

[62:52]Russell, right?

[62:52]If you're a musician, yes, everybody's going to love you, but I can tell you right now,

[62:56]Axl Rose is still singing paradise city every night of his life.

[63:00]Like he's doing the same thing over and over and over.

[63:04]But at this point, isn't that Axl's choice?

[63:06]Like, does he really have to do that?

[63:08]Or does he have to do that?

[63:08]Did he make some bad tax choices?

[63:10]Like he doesn't, I mean, there's no way he needs the money unless he made some mistakes.

[63:13]I, I think this, he's a, he's a certified CPA.

[63:17]I think I'm pretty sure.

[63:18]What would you guys pick?

[63:19]If you could be the lead singer of a band and be the biggest band in the world or be

[63:23]the star athlete on the team that wins the championship, what are you picking?

[63:26]I, you know, years ago I probably would have picked athlete, but now I got to admit like

[63:30]making, even just making the parody songs.

[63:32]I like it.

[63:33]Like, I think it's fun to sit down and be like, I'm going to create something.

[63:36]People are going to listen to it.

[63:38]And you know, they're going to like it.

[63:39]Maybe like, oh, that's a big baby.

[63:41]But I think, yeah, being a musician now, Aaron, you're both, but what would you say?

[63:46]You were both in high school, but what would, what would your pick be?

[63:48]I would go musician unless I could go back in time and be under Iguodala and not go up

[63:59]for that layup, which he was going to miss anyway and figure out another way to get the

[64:03]ball in the hoop in the 2016 game.

[64:05]Okay.

[64:06]So now new question.

[64:07]Okay.

[64:08]Russell, you can either be a musician or you can replace a famous athlete, which is I guess

[64:11]how Aaron took this question.

[64:12]Okay.

[64:13]So let's do another round.

[64:14]I would, I would replace myself as Basante Shanko in that video with the reporter.

[64:18]Aaron, you know what?

[64:25]You get it, Aaron?

[64:26]It would be my serpentine.

[64:27]That would be what I'd be famous for.

[64:29]I do think about you, Aaron.

[64:31]I appreciate you guys.

[64:33]I mean, I had to pull those clips of you saying dumb things.

[64:37]I think about you all the time.

[64:39]This is Izzy, by the way, on lead.

[64:41]It would suck to be Izzy and be like, okay, Slash, I got this one.

[64:46]And everybody's like, oh, everyone hates that song on the album.

[64:49]It's kind of like when I offered to do the parody song.

[64:52]Everyone's like, oh no, we don't really want this.

[64:54]But Slash is talented as Slash is.

[64:56]He got to overdub his stuff later.

[64:57]Like he got to go in, take his own time, do his own thing.

[65:00]I think it's not fair to the other guys in the band, which is probably why it turned

[65:04]out to be a roving cast of characters.

[65:06]You mentioned overdub.

[65:07]I don't know.

[65:07]Rob talked about this in the opening when I wasn't listening to, but did you guys read

[65:11]that Axl essentially saying every lyric on its own?

[65:14]He wouldn't sing the whole song.

[65:15]He would sing every lyric like 50 times until he got it right.

[65:19]Yeah, that's why they couldn't stay with him after 1991.

[65:23]He was just a pain in the ass.

[65:25]Okay, let's take that again, Aaron.

[65:29]But at this time, I want you to say, oh, he's such a pain in the ass like that.

[65:32]I'll be sure to edit this out just like we do.

[65:36]That's how we get all these big.

[65:37]Listen, this time, guys, let's do this whole episode.

[65:40]More energy.

[65:41]That cold toilet paper would be a pain in the ass.

[65:43]In the ass.

[65:44]See, you're kind of thinking about it, though, aren't you, Russell?

[65:49]Russell, I thought you were going into a list.

[65:51]I'm totally confused.

[65:52]I was clicking.

[65:53]My bad.

[65:55]Next up, their only number one single ever in the history of Guns N' Roses.

[66:00]Sweet Child of Mine.

[66:01]This is my top five, probably top three songs.

[66:05]Guitar World.

[66:07]Like I said, this was the 37th greatest solo ever on this.

[66:10]That's fucking crazy.

[66:11]That's got to be way higher.

[66:12]That's insane.

[66:13]Well, this isn't the solo, though.

[66:16]I know, but you know the solo in the middle.

[66:18]But when it hits in.

[66:19]It's so good.

[66:20]This whole song.

[66:21]And what I think, what Aaron was talking about, like, this song, you forget about it every time I listen to it.

[66:28]I'm like, oh, yes, Sweet Child of Mine.

[66:29]It's a great song.

[66:30]And then they get to the breakdown at the end.

[66:33]I mean, listen to how this sounds like a totally different song.

[66:36]And it also.

[66:37]It is one of the best songs of all time.

[66:39]Listen to this.

[66:39]First of all, here's a solo for you.

[66:42]Yeah.

[66:43]Yeah, they love doing that thing of like, you can hear where he was going with his Michael Jackson collection.

[66:49]Absolutely.

[66:50]What's your guys' favorite Guns N' Roses song ever?

[66:56]Is this it?

[66:57]Yeah.

[66:58]Oh, Matt.

[67:00]November Rain.

[67:01]November Rain?

[67:02]Rob, what do you like?

[67:03]Followed by Patience.

[67:04]If I had to listen to one, it would probably be Patience.

[67:07]I love Patience.

[67:08]I think it's so good.

[67:09]A little whistling.

[67:10]One thing I noticed, we were talking about the guitar solo, but we also heard that guitar riff at the beginning.

[67:14]And it made me start thinking, like, what are the best opening guitar riffs for any song?

[67:19]But I figured there's too many songs out there to do a list.

[67:21]So we're going to narrow it down.

[67:22]We're going to do the best opening guitar riffs for any song in the 80s.

[67:26]We're doing a list.

[67:28]Oh, nice.

[67:29]This is going to rock my face off.

[67:31]I honestly can't.

[67:33]I can't think of a better opening guitar riff than this one, but I'm happy to hear it.

[67:36]I don't know if there are any good opening guitar riffs.

[67:37]I don't think there are any going to be better than that one, but here's some good ones.

[67:39]I'm happy to hear it.

[67:40]So first up is 1980.

[67:43]This is the title track for Back in Black by AC.

[67:45]Oh, man.

[67:47]Aaron, this is a titular track.

[67:49]I was reading that this was the first song that Kurt Cobain learned on his guitar.

[67:59]It made me start wondering, Rob, what was the first song you ever learned on guitar?

[68:02]I learned Bob Dylan's.

[68:07]Not harmonica.

[68:07]No.

[68:08]It was, what was it?

[68:11]Bob Dylan's.

[68:12]You ain't going nowhere.

[68:14]I'm terrible.

[68:15]Is ACDC coming up on this list at all, Matt?

[68:17]They got to be coming up soon, don't they?

[68:19]I think they are.

[68:19]I think they're in the 60s or 70s.

[68:20]Back in Black is coming up soon, right?

[68:21]If you, Russell, if you had an electric guitar and a big amplifier, wouldn't you just learn

[68:27]how to play that song and then just say, like, I'm done.

[68:28]I'm done.

[68:29]I can play this intro.

[68:29]Anytime somebody comes over and they go, oh, you have a guitar.

[68:31]You go.

[68:32]I would show up at parties.

[68:35]I would show up at parties.

[68:36]Instead of playing Nintendo and Mike Tyson's Punch Out through the whole party, I'd sit

[68:39]there and just play that guitar riff over and over.

[68:42]Just that riff, right?

[68:43]If you sat in a corner and played that riff the whole night.

[68:45]84.

[68:45]They're coming up at number 84.

[68:47]Oh, I like it.

[68:47]Next up on the list is 1981.

[68:51]This is a song by the Rolling Stones, Start Me Up off Tattoo You.

[68:55]This is a good one.

[68:59]I read that they actually tried recording this in, like, the 70s, and it was supposed

[69:05]to be a reggae song.

[69:06]Yes.

[69:07]And it was supposed to be a reggae song, and then it never made the album they were going

[69:10]to put it on, and they kind of put it away, and they stashed it away, and they came back

[69:13]to it, and they recorded it, and then some of the band members actually didn't like this

[69:18]version because they always wanted it to be a reggae song.

[69:20]I thought that was super interesting.

[69:21]Waiting on a Friend.

[69:21]That was recorded in the 70s.

[69:23]It didn't come out until the 80s.

[69:24]There's a bunch of that stuff that they recorded, didn't bring out until the 80s.

[69:27]Well, you know what that song's about, Russell.

[69:28]Start Me Up.

[69:29]What's it about?

[69:31]Oh, it's about vibrators again.

[69:32]It's another vibrator song.

[69:33]Oh, yeah.

[69:34]Absolutely.

[69:34]Rob, do you think vibrators work?

[69:36]Do vibrators need to be going at like one speed, or do they have to be, do they have

[69:39]variable speeds?

[69:40]Well, the thing I don't get about vibrators is why do they have so many speeds?

[69:45]Who gets one that goes?

[69:46]Yeah, I think that was better this week.

[69:49]You're right.

[69:49]I complained my joke wasn't good this week, so I was like, I'll set you up.

[69:53]Russell?

[69:53]Perfect.

[69:54]Okay.

[69:55]With this edit, and again, let's try that again.

[69:57]Okay.

[69:57]Axl Rose style.

[69:58]Okay, but there's a select people, group of people who know exactly what I'm talking about.

[70:04]You're pushing that button, just trying to get it back to like.

[70:06]You're like, get back, get back.

[70:09]And then the other side is like speed is like, get, well, just get max speed.

[70:12]Is it the G side or the R side?

[70:14]We're more of an R side family for sure.

[70:20]Next song on the list.

[70:21]Earlier, Rob, you were mentioning Beavis and Butthead.

[70:24]This was a song that I became famous for me from the Beavis and Butthead show.

[70:28]Absolutely.

[70:28]Back when we were younger.

[70:29]This is Judas Priest, Breaking the Law from 1980.

[70:32]That's a guitar riff, is it not?

[70:36]This is so good.

[70:39]And this video, you could not match a harder sound with a corner video for your entire life.

[70:46]This video is wild.

[70:47]They are literally going into a bank with their guitars, pointing the guitars at the safe and the safe disappears and they grab the money.

[70:56]So they're literally breaking the law with their guitars through magic somehow.

[71:00]Perfection.

[71:01]Awesome.

[71:01]One of my favorite things about this, I immediately thought of Matt on YouTube.

[71:05]The first.

[71:06]The first comment on the YouTube on that video said, I always thought they were saying raking the lawn.

[71:11]So if we ever do get to a Judas Priest album on the list, you can do a parody about Matt raking the lawn, raking the lawn.

[71:18]So good.

[71:19]I'm going to.

[71:19]I don't rake, Russell.

[71:21]You mulch that shit.

[71:22]No, you mulch it.

[71:25]You get to get it back into the end of the earth.

[71:28]Right?

[71:28]Yeah.

[71:28]You don't like that.

[71:29]Nobody rakes leaves.

[71:31]Savages.

[71:32]I just go over that shit.

[71:34]Yeah.

[71:34]I certainly don't.

[71:36]Too many leaves in my apartment.

[71:37]Next song on the list is from 1981.

[71:40]This is actually a cover.

[71:41]One of the most successful covers ever.

[71:42]It's Joan Jett and the Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

[71:45]I love rock and roll.

[71:46]Wait, who wrote this song?

[71:48]I believe it was called.

[71:50]This Prince.

[71:54]Are those hand claps too?

[71:59]Is that a iTunes snare?

[72:01]No, that's totally.

[72:03]Those are totally hand claps.

[72:04]Oh, I love it.

[72:05]I did read.

[72:06]I did read.

[72:07]So this was a cover from a song from 1976.

[72:09]I don't know the band off band air and you'll have to probably have to drop it in, but she

[72:14]heard this song and wanted to cover it and she was going to cover the band to arrows.

[72:18]There you go.

[72:18]She was going to cover with the band she was touring with and the band didn't like the song.

[72:22]So she went and recorded with another band.

[72:24]What a terrible decision by that other band.

[72:26]Boss move, right?

[72:27]I guess that's what happens.

[72:29]Sometimes when somebody in the group has a really good idea to talk about, I don't know,

[72:33]like toilet paper in their fridge or whatever.

[72:35]Maybe you should.

[72:35]Maybe you should listen and not just dismiss it out of hand.

[72:37]A toilet paper in the fridge could be our I love rock and roll.

[72:41]I really thought it was talking about like putting the toilet paper in the fridge between uses.

[72:45]I really thought it was like about keeping the toilet paper fresh and I thought that was a bad idea.

[72:49]Listen, I got to level with you Aaron.

[72:51]That is kind of what I was thinking about until you mentioned that I have to put it back in.

[72:54]Okay.

[72:56]Maybe I need a separate fridge just for toilet paper.

[72:58]That would work.

[73:00]That would work.

[73:00]Oh, and an ice cube maker.

[73:02]One other thing about that song that the group, the arrows that recorded it.

[73:05]It's from Britain and actually they don't have dimes in Britain.

[73:08]So you would have to put a six penny in the jukebox.

[73:10]But they thought it sounded cooler to say, put a dime in the jukebox.

[73:14]Isn't that crazy?

[73:15]Cause it'd be hard to say, put another six penny in the jukebox.

[73:20]But yeah, that's, you can't do it.

[73:21]You can't put a six penny in the jukebox.

[73:23]If they, when they hear the jukebox and they're like, dad, how are we supposed to put like,

[73:27]do they, your kids even know what change is?

[73:29]Does change even exist for kids anymore?

[73:31]Cause it's what I give them for a claw game.

[73:34]Like change in a claw game goes.

[73:35]They're so close in my kid's mind together.

[73:37]Otherwise, yeah, it's totally useless to them.

[73:39]Like I think money in general, those useless to my kids.

[73:42]So they just asked me to buy something and I say, okay, it's pathetic.

[73:46]Last song on the list.

[73:48]We know Rob has always talked about hot for teacher.

[73:50]We're going to do a different song off the album that hot for teacher was on.

[73:54]I don't like you saying like that, but I don't like you saying like, Oh, Rob is always talking

[73:58]about hot for teacher.

[73:59]Like that's the song.

[74:01]I'm talking about the song for teacher.

[74:02]You know, Rob, the teacher on this podcast.

[74:04]No.

[74:05]The teacher is always talking about teacher, you know, our resident teacher loves talking

[74:12]about people being hot for teacher.

[74:13]It's his favorite thing to talk about.

[74:15]Well, if Aaron's going to make fun of Rob, I'm going to make fun of Aaron.

[74:19]We all know Aaron's a big fan of Sue's canal.

[74:21]He's probably also a big fan of the Panama.

[74:23]So this is Van Halen, Panama.

[74:26]Pretty good opening guitar for a song, huh?

[74:31]This one blows my mind a little bit.

[74:33]It's hard to think about how they got this one.

[74:35]Started.

[74:35]This is pretty complex, but see, this is a great example of like guitar sound.

[74:40]We're listening to today, right?

[74:41]Like Eddie Van Halen.

[74:43]It almost sounds like he's playing in like a big stadium and it's just you listening

[74:46]to it.

[74:47]Whereas slash, it sounds like he's like in your bedroom and you're trying to go to sleep

[74:51]and he's like cranking it all the way up.

[74:53]Like in the black or white video where George went, it's like, turn it down.

[74:56]Exactly.

[74:57]And then he gets blasted off to the savannas of Africa.

[75:00]Yeah.

[75:01]True story.

[75:02]So that was the list.

[75:04]That was the greatest.

[75:05]That was the greatest guitar riff opening song.

[75:07]Great list, Russell.

[75:08]Russell, that was a top five list.

[75:09]That was another.

[75:10]That did a better list by Russell.

[75:12]That was easily a top five list.

[75:13]Put another sixpence in the jukebox, baby.

[75:15]You can literally, you can play like three notes from all of those songs and you know

[75:19]exactly what song they are.

[75:20]Exactly.

[75:21]Yeah.

[75:21]So those are the top five songs.

[75:23]He said sixpence.

[75:24]I would, the only time I think about like British money, like sixpence is when I'm off to buy

[75:33]some hot cross buns.

[75:34]You know what I mean?

[75:35]You know what I mean?

[75:35]Sometimes I just want to buy those hot cross buns.

[75:38]I'm like, how much are these?

[75:39]One a penny, two a penny.

[75:41]Well, decide.

[75:41]Cause I've only got a half penny.

[75:43]What do they call them in Britain?

[75:44]A half penny?

[75:45]A half.

[75:46]Guys, why do you do this to me?

[75:49]Why do you make me edit this stuff out?

[75:51]Terrible.

[75:52]All right.

[75:53]You don't ever edit it out, Rob.

[75:54]It always gets through.

[75:55]Trust me.

[75:56]As, as Russell pointed out, talking about the olden times, your great, sorry, but your

[76:02]like Y-O-R-E.

[76:03]Oh no.

[76:05]That's the one that pushes Russell over.

[76:09]Listen to this guitar.

[76:11]I picked almost every song clip at the beginning of songs, not because I'm lazy, but because

[76:18]they rock.

[76:19]It does rock pretty hard.

[76:22]Any other album, we'd be talking about this song for like a long time.

[76:28]And this time we're like, man, never really heard it before.

[76:30]Don't know about it.

[76:35]Next song.

[76:36]Oh God.

[76:36]You're not doing a list.

[76:37]I thought you were doing a list still.

[76:38]I was like, oh, when's Russell going to say the next thing on the list?

[76:40]All right.

[76:41]Might be getting a little late here.

[76:42]Anything goes.

[76:44]Back.

[76:45]Is this the ass in the debris lyric?

[76:50]What is the ass in debris?

[76:52]Is this is like Aaron's rhyming again, right?

[76:54]Yes.

[76:54]Yeah.

[76:54]Absolutely.

[76:55]Rhyme.com.

[76:57]Matt, could you get, could you give us a little poetic reading of the lyrics from anything

[77:02]goes?

[77:02]I'd have to pull it up.

[77:05]Oh, well, not right now.

[77:06]Let's, why don't you wait till we're done with the zoom?

[77:08]It's an appetite for destruction.

[77:10]Guns and roses.

[77:11]Okay.

[77:12]But not the cold quarter.

[77:13]Anything goes.

[77:14]Close the tab that says toilet paper cold question mark.

[77:17]Actually sounds like a good idea.

[77:19]Exclamation point.

[77:20]He shared on the Wikipedia page and this one doesn't have like a link to the songs.

[77:25]That's what.

[77:26]Cool.

[77:28]Yeah.

[77:30]Matt's Matt's the only guy.

[77:35]You give up.

[77:35]That's the only guy in the podcast who has no idea how to research a single thing about

[77:39]a song or band.

[77:40]Russell and I have like 10 tabs that we have saved at our computer to do it at all times.

[77:44]And Matt's like music research.

[77:48]It's like, it's like you guys remember that video when A-Rod was like, he was supposedly

[77:53]this investor guy and he had this picture of him on a plane talking about the stock

[77:57]market and you could see in the back of the window of the plane, it was just him Googling

[78:01]the word stock market.

[78:05]And now he owns an NBA basketball team.

[78:08]No, he owns a team.

[78:09]Yeah.

[78:09]Maybe I do want to become a professional athlete.

[78:12]You're making me think maybe I do want to be a professional athlete.

[78:14]Axl Rose is still like using public bathrooms somewhere and A-Rod owns his own team.

[78:20]That's a fun thought.

[78:21]Like when do you think the last time is that Axl Rose used a public bathroom?

[78:25]Got to be before the release of Appetite, right?

[78:29]I guarantee he's got a fridge in his bathroom.

[78:32]Guaranteed he does.

[78:33]Yeah.

[78:34]Axl Rose.

[78:34]Axl Rose.

[78:34]But I think.

[78:35]Once Appetite came out, like he probably just pisses in the street if he wants.

[78:37]He's Axl Rose.

[78:38]In fact, I'm sure he's been arrested for pissing in the street.

[78:40]Rob, do you think he has a groupie whose job it is to like move him out of the bathroom

[78:45]if he were to perish doing eating something out of his fridge in the bathroom or not?

[78:49]What a great way to go, though, for Axl Rose.

[78:52]That's the ultimate rock and roll way to die, right?

[78:54]Sitting on your toilet like Elvis.

[78:56]Matt, did you find the lyrics yet?

[78:59]Yeah, I'm not reading them.

[79:00]You're not reading them.

[79:02]Oh, no.

[79:02]Rocket Queen.

[79:05]So, of course, the most famous thing about Rocket Queen is that there is a video of sound

[79:14]clip in it of actually having sex with a woman in the sound booth.

[79:17]So let's listen to that real quick.

[79:18]Wait, this is a real sound clip?

[79:23]Oh, yeah.

[79:24]See, Russell, how does it feel when he doesn't listen to you the first time you did this

[79:28]on our first episode where you talked about this very thing at length?

[79:31]What?

[79:32]Oh, you talked about this on the first episode.

[79:34]We ever did at length about that.

[79:36]You did a lot of research for it.

[79:37]Actually, kind of too much research.

[79:38]Like, you did a lot.

[79:39]I remember.

[79:39]I know I did.

[79:40]You had, like, drawings.

[79:41]Wasn't it the other guy's girlfriend?

[79:42]Steven Adler's girlfriend.

[79:44]It was the drummer's girlfriend.

[79:45]But then I also read something where they said that Axl wasn't happy with how it sounded,

[79:49]so he tried it with multiple women.

[79:50]And I was like, see, that's why he's playing 3D chess.

[79:53]Yeah, I think I'm going to be the rock star.

[79:55]I'm not playing NBA basketball.

[79:57]I'm going to be a rock star.

[79:58]Because he's like, oh, that wasn't quite what I wanted.

[80:02]We got to take another take on that.

[80:04]Genius stuff.

[80:05]All right.

[80:06]That was Appetite for Destruction.

[80:08]So let's get into everybody's popular and very patented, and I definitely didn't screw

[80:12]that up.

[80:12]It's the rating system.

[80:14]Oh, yeah.

[80:15]How are we so far ahead on time and then so far behind and then so far?

[80:21]It doesn't make any sense.

[80:22]Very popular.

[80:23]Beck did it better.

[80:25]Tangents.

[80:26]Tangents, Rob.

[80:27]That doesn't sound like us.

[80:29]All right.

[80:31]Let's get into the rating system, okay?

[80:33]We are running short.

[80:34]We're in time, so I'm going to speed this up a little bit.

[80:35]If you think this album is perfect at number 62, okay?

[80:40]It's just if slots in there perfect.

[80:42]It's like a piece of something that's in a frittata.

[80:45]Is there something in a frittata or is it just eggs?

[80:47]Depends on what you mean.

[80:49]Sometimes cheese or maybe some green onion.

[80:51]It's really a red pepper.

[80:53]You can make some perfect frittata is for one more person that's there.

[80:56]So you can share that love like Aaron wants to with us.

[80:59]Then you think this is perfect at 62 or you've eaten Aaron's frittata.

[81:03]Guess what?

[81:04]It sucks.

[81:04]He made it after watching a movie.

[81:05]What a terrible idea.

[81:06]This would be a rolling groan.

[81:08]You did not like this album.

[81:09]It should be not at 62 or is this a rolling bone?

[81:12]It should have been way higher than 62.

[81:14]Why have we waited so long to listen to this album?

[81:17]Guys, we could have been talking about this weeks ago if it got rolling bones.

[81:21]So what do you think Aaron rolling?

[81:23]Well-toned rolling bone or rolling groan?

[81:25]I think this is one of those that's really hard to fit into this rating system because I we all love it so much from our from our memories from our

[81:34]youth so initially I thought how could this album possibly be this low I look forward to listening to it every time I love every song on it but I think that it's in the right place behind the first Zeppelin album that we heard because I think there's so much Zeppelin influence on this album and I think there might be some skippable tracks so my my initial thought was like this should be a top 10 album of all time but I actually think it's rolling well toned and I'll still go back to it any day of the week.

[82:04]Because I love it and it's a great album.

[82:06]Okay, so I'm going to put somebody in the sound booth here with me and you know, doesn't that sound good to like it's like somebody's thinking about Matt.

[82:15]What do you think rolling?

[82:15]Well-toned rolling bone or rolling?

[82:17]There's your paper towel, sir.

[82:18]I think it's rolling.

[82:20]Well-toned it feels like a you know, like a top 100 album.

[82:23]I mean and there's probably some influence from just being growing up and having this be on MTV and all the sports and all that stuff we talked about earlier, but you know, there's just too many great

[82:34]songs on this album to not be up here considered one of the top 100 albums of all time.

[82:41]So 62 feels great feels like a nice spot for it.

[82:45]You know, if somebody told me it was 50, I would agree if somebody told me it was like 80 or 90, I'd be fine too.

[82:50]So I'll just say it's rolling well-toned at 62.

[82:52]Russell, what do you think rolling?

[82:54]Well-toned rolling bone or rolling grown man?

[82:57]I'm kind of surprised.

[83:00]I thought this was in our wheelhouse for when we were kids and starting getting into music.

[83:03]I thought you guys.

[83:04]Would say it needs to be higher.

[83:05]I'm going to go a little bit against the grain with you guys and say it needs to be way higher on the list.

[83:09]I really enjoyed it.

[83:10]You got night train Paradise City, Mr.

[83:13]Brownstone, sweet child of mine and the best opener for any album ever with welcome to the jungle.

[83:18]So for me, this is rolling bone.

[83:20]It needs to be way higher on the list to me.

[83:22]It's getting up in my top 10 and I was trying to rate whether this or Zeppelin was going to be my hard rock album in my top five, but I'm going to stick with Led Zeppelin.

[83:30]But this needs to be way higher rolling bone.

[83:32]The correct answer is this.

[83:34]This is a rolling Mr.

[83:35]Brownstone.

[83:36]No, listen, any other band wrote a song called Mr.

[83:41]Brownstone.

[83:41]Okay.

[83:42]We would not say, wow, this song fucking rocks.

[83:44]That name is lame as hell.

[83:46]That is a terrible name for a song.

[83:47]Yet.

[83:48]This was a song they wrote about heroin.

[83:50]They wrote and not even about heroin.

[83:51]They're like, it's a real bummer.

[83:52]We're addicted to it.

[83:53]That sums up guns and roses more than any other song next week.

[83:57]That's more than I know.

[84:01]I forgot about the dancing part next week.

[84:04]We have an album.

[84:05]My serpentine.

[84:06]Next week, we have an album that's sure to give us good vibrations.

[84:11]I want you to turn this band up to full power and come and join in the fun.

[84:15]If you want to make bread with some weird spices in it, bring your basil dough, bring your tarragon dough, and bring your dildo.

[84:23]It's Aja by Steely Dan next week on Best.

[84:26]Steely Dan.

[84:27]We're doing it.

[84:28]Steely Dan.

[84:29]Steely Dan.

[84:30]Yeah, the band.

[84:31]This parody song is going to be fantastic.

[84:34]Because we will find out once and for all, is Steely Dan a band or simply a man?

[84:43]We never quite figured out what the band was.

[84:46]We weren't sure.

[84:46]Matt, get on that research.

[84:49]Beck did it better.

[84:50]You guys, I was thinking about this.

[84:52]If I were a bathroom attendant, I would have a go-to move or a go-to saying after everyone came out of the stall.

[84:57]So if Rob came in and he had too many servings of a perfectly prepared frittata, I would hand him a paper towel and then a Joe Buck.

[85:04]I would say, that was a disgusting act.

[85:07]Just have like the button, like the no button that they've got in the cell.

[85:14]The easy button.

[85:15]That was a disgusting act.

[85:18]You guys are going to be fired up when you visit me in New York.

[85:21]Here's the Jolly Rancher.

[85:22]Here is your moist towelette.

[85:25]You guys are going to be fired up when you visit me in New York and I've got a fridge in my bathroom.

[85:28]Just which one you prefer.

[85:29]Oh no.

[85:31]You've got that third bathroom that you could easily do it.

[85:33]I could easily do it.

[85:34]You put a fridge in there.

[85:34]Easy.