Jay Z: Reasonable Doubt (1996)

[0:00]Okay, man, let's clap. Let's get going here. One, two, three, four. All right. Here we go. Bumblebee. You cut our warm-ups on tape. Now that's going to have to stay in. Somebody's going to listen to the podcast for the first time and be like, well, time to hear about Rolling Stone's top 500 albums. And they're going to hear Russell going, bumblebee. They're doing their vocalizes. That's a joke we made five minutes ago. Off mic. In 2020, four friends decided to listen to every one of the greatest 500 albums as decided by Rolling Stone magazine. This resulted in a text chain that celebrated the music, excoriated the order, and led us to making this podcast. We are far from experts. We promise to do almost no research. All opinions are our own, unless you disagree. Please sit back and enjoy. Beck did it better. This is from 19, I didn't write down, it says 1964. I think that's a little off. This is from 1996.

[1:00]This is Reasonable Doubt by Jay-Z. Guys, no time to talk. We need to hurry. We're on the Wild Wednesday show. Oh, yeah. Do you guys think Kanye West would have swirmed the stage at the Grammys if Bob Newhart would have won a Grammy over Jay-Z? What are you, stop to be like, stop. Jay-Z's album, or like Bob Newhart's album was the greatest masterpiece ever. Bob, I love you, but I got to tell you right now. I think Jack Benny had a better album than you. I see it. Hey, did you hear my bit about baseball? Guys, we got to hurry up and get to the Wednesday show. Bring your best bars. Yo, what's up, everybody? This is Jay, this is Mad Wednesdays. Mad Wednesdays. Wait a minute. I see my man over there. Rob and the guys from Beck did it better. The Beck did it better, guys. Game dance, let me hear that little tape of yours. And it's fat. Why don't you come up here. Tell people what you're up to, and maybe Aaron can talk about what he's eating today. That would be fun. And maybe Russ can talk about a date, and Matt, well, Matt can just listen.

[2:00]Irish eyes, which is actually a drink involving, I think it's cream, and then there was some green stuff in it, and then I was a diet coke in it. You always come back to the Irish eyes. Guys from the Beck did it better podcast. Actually, let me stop you right there. It's actually coming out on a podcast episode. The name of the podcast. Oh, wait. Where? Where are you going? Well, it is definitely the bomb. But you know, I do want to say something to you. I know you've been having a lot of problems with the law. Especially with Matt violating a number of ordinances in his city for the number of inflatables in his yard. Russell verbally harassing a security guard at the Rolling Stones concert. And Aaron setting up toilet cams. I'm behind you 100%. Except for the Aaron toilet cam thing. Matt Wednesdays, Rudy King, DJ Ace, Dame Dash, Rockefeller Records. We're all behind you. You can come back anytime. Except for Aaron.

[3:00]Because he also got caught taking socks out of the trash and smelling them. Oh, come on. Wait a minute. Music up. It's time to start the show. Oh, yeah. That was a great Wednesday. That's a mad Wednesday. It's a bad Wednesday. I was thinking, too, like, it would be funnier if Aaron was taking socks out and putting them in the hot dog buns and eating them like hot dogs. But I was like, that's too gross. I can't do that. That's too great. Why would I do that? You just walk in. Aaron's putting mustard on a sock. You're like, what? I would never do that. Beck did it better. I'm going to edit out where you said never. Hey, welcome to all my little foot freaks out there. Hey, all the Beck, all the Beckerhead foot freaks out there. Okay. Listening to us right now. Remember, when we see each other, we say, hey, I'm a foot freak. Remember, that's just something we're doing. And we're doing it all the time. I've got three guys here whose hustle is a podcast that makes no money. And it's probably peaked already. I've got Aaron out in California. Aaron, how are you doing? You know, Jay-Z said on this album, there's too much. And I got to be honest, as a person who lives on the West Coast, I'm going to, I'll be the

[4:00]One. I'll be the one to let people know when there's been too much. Okay. Let's not let Jay-Z step in on that one. We just need to shut this shit down. Just play the final credits. This is done. I was wondering why when you were walking to the Zoom camera, you looked like a cowboy. He had a wide stance. I thought it looked like you'd been wearing a wet swimsuit for a while, but now I realize that it's. Oh, no. It's burn. You got a rug burn. I got Matt in Minneapolis. Matt, how are you doing? Great. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Nothing perverted. You want to say, man? I'll refrain. Okay. Yeah. I'm thinking about his mother-in-law. Russell, how are you in Minnesota? Russell, how are you doing? I wanted to take this time to give you all a piece of my mind. At concerts, I sit in the upper rows wearing expensive Rolling Stones themed clothes. For this stupid show, I sip on knockoff cocktails with spitting my vintage flows. Yeah. It's our dumb shit listeners. They can't knock the Russell. Oh, they can't knock the Russell. It's so good. And you know what?

[5:00]Let's listen to those dumb shit listeners right now. So stupid. Oh, Russell for me. Dumb shit listeners. And Russell. You probably want to know because you ask all the time at this point. It is 802-277-BECK. If you text or email. Yeah, I guess email because we're good. It's all. It's all together. Okay. It's all Amazon. You know, you guys know what I'm talking about. Let's listen to our first Bext. Nice. And I just want to say this was pretty similar to a lot of the Bext that we actually got this week. Oh, no. Squeeze these nuts. Please bring Russell's concert date in for an interview. So can we bring your date on the show? What would it take? What do we have to do to get your concert date to come on the podcast? And we interview her. We need to get to 500 downloads an episode. We're not even close to that. So that's not going to happen. Oh, my God. The only thing I will give you guys is I will tell you, I'm going to give you a little bit of insight, a little bit of insight. My date. Did listen to the episode.

[6:00]She wanted to hear the story. Make sure I, I, I did. I did tell the story correctly. So she listened to it and there were two pieces. So I'm back on hinge. The first, there were two pieces of feedback via the text. When she told me that she listened to episode. The first was there was a lot of poop talk. So there was a lot of poop talk according to her. And that was her first takeaway. I don't remember that at all. I don't think there was. I, and then there's secondly, there may or may. Not have been a mention of annoyance that I brought up the price of the t-shirts. I'll just say that don't bring up that your date is not happy that you may have overspent on the t-shirts. That's something that's got to stay. You keep it to yourself or you keep it on the post game show life lesson learned. Don't talk about the cost of the t-shirts. So, yeah. So I have to say that is one. And then we got another voicemail. So guys, 500 downloads. Russell will bring the data. We could do another Beck to the wives of Beck. Did it better? Russell. Huh?

[7:00]You could host that. We could, they could all meet each other. I think that's a thousand downloads right there. An episode that happens. You see me at the Apple store. You see me at the Apple store with all the iPads download. I have a reasonable doubt that's ever going to occur. And then we also got this voicemail from our number one listener right now. Sorry, magic. Magic. Mike has not done shit lately for this podcast. I just want to say, and instead the new best listener award goes to Patty. Patty is back with another email to the Beck's line somehow. Is this Patty from Minneapolis? Last time the stones were in town. Matt actually tried to make it possible for me to go with him. I have a disability, which would have made it difficult, but he was down for it. He said he'd take me to the men's room if need be. What a doll. This year, Sarah told me he was at the stones. And I said, that asshole. My husband said, no text, no call. No email.

[8:00]Well, I love you, Matt. Man, she got one chance. The mother-in-law, you said, listen, I know that you we've got some special needs or whatever. I'm going to bring you to the concert. You know, get this family on my goddamn back. I'm going to carry him to the concert. We're going to have fun. Fast forward. Ghosted. Nothing. What happened, Matt? I think we've all, we all get to this point, right? We're like when you're, when you're dating. Oh no. You have to. Oh man. You just, everything is great. You're buying Christmas presents and all that stuff. Make an extra effort. Well, I think we're like 11 or 12 years in kind of a thing. And you just kind of forget. Am I right, Rosie? I mean, you get to a point and you just kind of forget about your in-laws. Am I right? That's a great question. When do you guys stop caring about like impressing your in-laws? Have you guys reached your, reached that point or not? I mean, we know Aaron has it because a few weeks ago, he refused to tell the story about meeting his father. His father-in-law because something inappropriate had to have happened.

[9:00]I pictured Aaron going out to the freezer, right? And opening the freezer. And so his head is hidden, but his naked lower torso is obviously, and then he closes it. And then there's a father-in-law right there. That's what I'm picturing in my head. And Aaron's like eating like a popsicle or something. I mean, just something like that's, that's what I picture. And I think I'm correct. Aaron, are you still trying to oppress the in-laws or not? Yeah. Once in a while. Yeah. But I can see that like. Sometimes you kind of are like, well, I'm I like, and Matt has given them Grandchildren. So like, that's also now it's like the grandkids job to impress the in-laws. Like, that's not your job anymore. Like, yeah, that's your kid's job. Yeah. And they're supposed to take care of like my kids. I can just go over there and take a nap. Right. Your children are supposed to charm them now. Like you did it for 10, 11 years. And now that's like, you're passing the torch. To be fair. That is true. Like if you're in the stage where you have kids and you just want to get out for a concert, I'm guessing. You better be careful.

[10:00]The last thing you want to do here is take your mother-in-law to the Rolling Stones. Right, Matt? No, I would absolutely. Honestly, I would absolutely. I went to Nora Jones with Patty. We went and saw Nora Jones. So Matt's saying Patty next time. Not this time. It wasn't this time, but the next time the Rolling Stones are in town. So I just, yeah, I needed to go out with some of my friends I just needed a little bit of separation just one night off. But the next time hit him up. Hey what? You know what, Matt? Patty should have said, she should have asked you politely. How would she have done that, Rob? She would have had to say, please. See, I think Patty's smart because she's not asking to go with Russ because she wants to get some good tickets. She's like, please. She's like, Matt, please. I know you're watching the prices all the time. Rob, how's your father-in-law, Rob? Like, is he fun to hang out with? Like, is he a good guy to. I do. I don't make it sound like I say different stuff when we turn off the podcast. Don't laugh like that. You know, I have a good time with him. He texted me a picture of just an alien head the other day. Just the alien head emoji.

[11:00]And I was like, this bill freaking gets it, man. He, we're down. I did take my mother-in-law though, to a two life crew concert. So that, we had a good time there. I need to know more about that. Is that a true story? Okay. No, the idea of taking your mother-in-law to a concert is insane. That is an insane idea. Patty, guess what? You're nuts. If you want your brother-in-law, your son-in-law to take you to, I'm telling you right now, if my daughter marries somebody and the guy was like, Hey, I'm going to take you to a concert. I'd be like, absolutely. Yeah. This is totally inappropriate. We cannot be going to a concert together. What if they wanted to talk about power lifting with you? Then would you go? Oh yeah, of course. I mean, that's anybody in my vicinity. You guys know that. That's I'll talk about that all day. Fast forward a couple of minutes to my role and go on today. That might've made a mistake. I think we should probably issue Matt's mother-in-law an apology because Matt didn't invite her to this. I agree. I think so. Patty, our number one fan right now. This is for you. And now an apology from Beck. Did it better? Apology. I'd like to take this chance. He probably hasn't heard this one.

[12:00]Matt can't believe this is his life. Beck does it better podcast. That's what the eff it wants. Let's get into our rolling going. Is it time? It's time to see what everybody's up to. It's time for rolling going. Oh yeah. Aaron, rolling going. What's going on with you? Oh, it's yeah. Did your kid hit you in the nuts this week? We, how many days has it been since you've been hitting the nuts by your kid? I think it's been about eight. No nut punches today, but we did have a great day today. Today. Yes. His school was closed today for veterans day. So we took a little family trip to Sonoma, to the children's museum of Sonoma County. And I got to drive because my wife had to do some work in the car. And my son immediately told me that he does not trust me to drive. He said, dad, he said, dad, you're driving. And I said, yeah. And he said, I don't want you to drive. I said, why not? He said, I don't trust you.

[13:00]Yeah. First of all, dad, you're sitting next to me in the back seat. I think that's problem. Number one. He said, he knows who the real driver is in the car. I'm not going to talk about anything that I ate today because I didn't eat anything that exciting, but I did. I drank a key lime LaCroix. I get it. I see why people drink these. And it's really tasty. What is LaCroix? A sparkling water. LaCroix. Oh, Jesus, Aaron. You know, you guys know LaCroix is French for, LaCroix. I didn't realize that, but yeah, I did know that. So I drank a LaCroix. It was really tasty. I thought it was English for LaCroix. I get why people like that stuff, but my real rolling going. Can I stop and ask you something about Sonoma though? Yeah. Isn't Sonoma, that's not like wine country, but there is wine made in Sonoma, right? There is wine country. Sonoma County is actually really big in terms of like land. So you go to wine country and instead of going out to drink wine, you go to like the children's festival or something. We went today. We went to the children's museum. Because we had Wallace with us and we were also working.

[14:00]So like if you go to a children's museum, you can take a few phone calls here and there. If you've got to like do some work. That's sick. But we were not tasting any wine. But the actual town we went to. I would fire Aaron's ass so fast. Oh my God. The place we went is actually, is Santa Rosa, which is actually a better beer town than a wine town. That's the home of Russian River Brewing. But, yeah, no, we didn't do any wine tasting today, although we drank. Aaron, this is your boss. This is your boss calling. By the way, I'm doing the phone thing with my hands for people. So you really get the job. Hey Aaron, this is your boss calling. I'm calling you to do your, something that you do. I don't, I'm not even sure what your job is actually. Wait, excuse me. Do I hear children doing STEM activities in the background? Are they? Do I hear them setting up rapids on a river and they're learning something or other? Oh no, we're busted. We're busted. Your kid sounds excited to learn about what lightning is. You son of a bitch. You get. You get back to work right now.

[15:00]I'm just in Sonoma County drinking wine. I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not at a children's museum. Are they putting ping pong balls through a tubular vacuum thing and shooting them all over the place? Are they blowing a beach ball up in the air and it stays magically balanced? You guys understand exactly what we're talking about. Is this a multi-level, slide that your kid's going down and then climbing up the ropes and having so much fun? Is that what I hear in the background? Aaron, you're supposed to be working from your residence, not the hall of dead presidents. Oh, I'm not from presidents. I'm a poet. You don't even know it. Presidents to represent me, but I got so many of those guys were so racist too. I mean, I think about I'm the, I'm the one who's supposed to bring us down on that tip, right? Sorry, Aaron wanted to pull the brakes, wanted to pull the brakes on your story. Go ahead. My real rolling going, because I know I have a reputation out there of saying something boring first and then something slightly less boring or more boring. Is that reputation you have? Yeah. I would actually say, Aaron, nobody actually talks about what you do on the podcast ever. I don't think you have a reputation.

[16:00]Oh, he does. He's the, he's the guy who eats dandelions. Yeah, that's his reputation. That's a good thing to be known as. People think about you, Aaron, on this podcast, the same way we think about like walking through air. Like you don't come home from work and everybody's like, Hey, how was your day? He's like, well, I walked through a bunch of air. Like it's just there. Like it's just something that happens. That's your reputation on the podcast. So this album, you're kind of the vanilla khaki pants of this podcast. This album, Reasonable Doubt is from 1996. I knew that. So in 1996, I was a junior in high school. It is, it has come to light that on YouTube exists a full high school football game with commentary in which I played in my junior year of high school in 1996. What position were you playing? I was playing left guard. Oh, so you, so they called you all probably like every play. Like, look at this guy. I don't think, yeah, I don't actually think my name got called up, but have I stayed up too late multiple nights and watched the entire game?

[17:00]Yes. Oh, glory days. We call that glory days. Have I forced my family to watch the game with me? Yes, absolutely. Yes. It includes such highlights as my team throws a wide receiver pass, like a double pass. Yeah. And for some reason I, as the left guard end up 40 yards downfield celebrating with the wide receiver who looks at me. No, no, no flag. I was no flag, but I had this habit of running downfield to celebrate. Like, as my quarterback is like pancaked in the backfield and like, I get, I like run 35 yards downfield to celebrate and the wide receiver looks at me like, what the hell are you doing here? But also fun fact for our football playing football fan listeners in that game, I was playing against Jamie Burrow, older brother of current NFL quarterback, Joe Burrow. So if you can think about that, if you know how old I am, Jamie was a year older than me. Joe is now a second year player in the NFL. I mean, this is pretty amazing.

[18:00]We need to shut this shit down. That is amazing. Aaron played guard against the older brother of some quarterback. No one's ever heard of him. Well what's, but you know, what's even weirder about that is that Aaron played three man football, right? So those are like, those are the only people on the field in Iowa. Three man football is one of the biggest ones they have where only the guard can cross the 50 yard line. Like the receivers and safeties can't, but the guard can play both ways. If you get big enough, you get beyond the one-on-one football. He's not just a left guard. He was the only guard left on the field for the three man football. That's what left guard meant. Aaron, it's also come to light that at the time you were in high school, your school played, what did they play? Three on three basketball where you could not cross the mid court line. No, that was before the last year before I got to high school, I think was the last year of six on six basketball in the state of Iowa. We six on six. Yeah. Six on six. So you have three people on offense and three people on defense and they, especially two half-court games of exactly male and female.

[19:00]Cause that used to be just like an old female thing. It was just the ladies. Yeah. Iowa and Oklahoma were the last two states to play six on six. If you play, you're saying, if you play offense, you can't go play defense. If you play defense, you can't go play offense. You got to stay in your head. That is correct. It's basically two split three on three games. Yeah. How fucking old are you? Like, I don't get this. Like, do you remember world war two? Like this is crazy to me that we would at the same time have like a computer. And at the same time, somebody would be coming home and being like, Oh dad, I'm so mad. I played defense this week. It's like, what? I mean, can you imagine playing defense on the three on three basketball team? It would be terrible. It'd be like, you just see, you see your teammates like scoring and swishing. Everybody's cheering. And you're like, you're just side to side getting exhausted. Terrible. Terror. It'd be humiliating. I have two things. One, Matt, I'm convinced I would be the greatest Iowa basketball player ever because I would play defense. But instead of when I would get a rebound, I wouldn't pass. And ahead, I would always shoot from half court.

[20:00]So I would leave the league and rebounds and I would always shoot from half court and our offense would just hate me, but I would win like player of the year. I would have been four time Iowa player of the year in Iowa. I would have just gotten like steals, rebounds, blocks, and then a ton of three pointers. I don't know if they have a three point line in Iowa or not. I'm guessing. I'm just guessing that given these rules, they made some rule about you can't shoot from the other side. I don't know. Yeah. I believe they outlawed dunking for a dual Jabbar. Like it would have been the Russ rule where like you cannot shoot half court. Like, cause this guy's one Ford state player of the year words. So what did they do? I mean, literally the defense would rebound it. And then what I picture is like the ref goes and gets the ball and then they slowly walk over to the offensive side and hand them the ball. Like it would be so boring to watch that. I think they still had to get the ball. Like I I got to, I should know this because I watched a lot of games as a kid. And I think my high school won the last, six person, state championship. State title. But, I think they still had to cross the center line, but you could only dribble once

[21:00]Before you passed it. So obviously like every time it was just like, get up and get a big, yeah. Like you needed a big person. So like Rob, if I were playing and I got a rebound and my offense was waiting for the ball, what would they have screamed to me to get the ball from me? I'll tell you what though. Oh no. Hold it down. But I think the most impressive part was the fact that I was able to get the ball. Was that Aaron, the basketball team's coach was, James Naismith. And he was the one who also hung up the peach baskets. But you know what? Like while we're here, before you move on, just shout out to Dara Sharf, shout out to the Voss sisters, shout out to coach Dick Rasmussen, shout out to coach Scott DeYoung, shout out Erica Juno, shout out Tracy Jones, shout out Lindsay Eggly, all of my folks who won state titles, shout outs to all of them. Cause we had a dominant girls basketball team. Matt's going to shout out that broomball coach. He had that ever Kim Niederlucky or whatever her name was. She probably didn't want to say that.

[22:00]Somehow you remember. That's so good. You nailed it. Aaron, what was that coach's name? Coach Dick Rasmussen. That's what I'm going to start calling him a P. You idiot. All right. I actually had two other questions about Aaron's rolling going. The first was Aaron mentioned racquetball. I used to play racquetball with both Rob and Aaron. Matt, I don't remember playing with you, but we may have played back in the day. But one thing I remember is Aaron was the king of hitting the ball into your back as hard as he could. He would do it. At least twice a game. And Aaron, you need to admit now, Were you doing it on purpose just to make people wary of where they played or was it on accident? I don't there's no way it's because Russell and I standing in front of you took up a 50% of the racquetball court. It had to have been a mix. I definitely did it on purpose a few times. I know I did it on purpose to our friend Zach, but I don't know if I did it to you guys. I don't know if I did it to you guys. I don't know if I was good enough to do it on purpose. I can't remember who I was playing, but God,

[23:00]We did play a lot of right. Like we played a, we've told a lot of racquetball stories, way more racquetball than we should have for like who we are like racquetball. We would go. And instead of doing a podcast, we would go play racquetball. You would have think at some point we would have gotten better shape after playing on that racquetball. I think we thought that was going to do it. You played until Russell's shirt got so sweaty. He couldn't stand it anymore. And then that was the end of the game. Both better racquetball players than me. You guys are both more skilled than me. So I did have one more question too, though, about Aaron's role. And the question is like, So when you're playing guard and you're making your family watch this movie, are you telling your Aaron's wife at gmail.com and your son that you're playing running back? Or are you admitting that I'm the guard? Are you acting like you're the star player? No, no. I was pausing the video to say like, no, look, that's me down there. Like that's like little number 52. That's me. No, no, no, that's no, no, for sure. I was giving them the whole rundown. Offensive lineman actually can be star players. Russell. A lot of people don't realize that they can actually kind of be superstars, even if maybe people don't notice. And maybe when your girlfriend comes to see you in college,

[24:00]She says, wow, you just fall over a lot. And I'm like, actually, I was falling over a lot. That can't be true because I put in hundreds of hours of my life into crafting this, what I'm doing. And for you to say, it's just me falling over. It sounds a little bit insulting. My other question, Aaron is, this is a great role to go. My other question is when you were rewatching this, did you, were you like ashamed of how bad you were? Were you like, Oh, in my mind, I was much better of a player than when you were watching now as an adult, watching you back then or not? I don't think so. I'll be honest. I mean, I knew I was too small to be playing that position and I knew I got my ass Kicked on a few plays and I definitely saw myself get my ass kicked. But the couple of plays where I didn't get my ass kicked, I felt pretty proud of myself. I definitely saw my quarterback thrown off the back foot a lot and running for his life a lot. Oh, pointing fingers. Yeah, that was probably my fault, but no, I really, I was, I felt like I acquitted myself. Well, I almost recovered a fumble on a punt. Very close. Didn't quite get it, but it came very close. Clay Newman got it. So congrats to Clay. Hope he's listening. Shout out Clay.

[25:00]Shout out Clay Newman. Shout out Clay. Aaron went and got his screenshot from that part of the movie tattooed on his arm. He was like, Hey son, this is where I almost recovered a fumble on a punt one time. Yeah. So Aaron, was it bad when your kids saw you? So here's what I'm picturing it. This is a story in two parts that your kid sees you got your helmet on long flowing hair over a neck roll in the back. Yeah. And your kid goes, what the hell happened to all your hair? Like that's what he gets out of the story is like, Oh, you used to have a ton of hair. And then the next day, the second part is, has your kid like thought asked you what it's going to be like when he's Bald and has that affected him at all? Like, has he looked at you and realized like, Oh shit, that's going to be me. Does he have that realization yet? No, that has not dawned on him yet. No, that part he hasn't figured out. His big takeaway from the game was that we were playing at night. Like that was it. That was like, what was the most interesting thing? That was the most interesting thing to him. He was like, Oh, you're playing at night. And I was like, yeah, this is me when I was a teenager. And then like two weeks later, he was like, dad, when you were a teenager and playing football at night, you usually won,

[26:00]Right? And like, we lost the game that it was on the videos. I had to tell him like, ah, we lost that one. No, no, you got to tell your kids you were a superstar. There's no, well, I was a state champion. I mean, let's be real about that. That's what I'd say. I'd say football where the guards not allowed to cross the 50 yard line. I knew something was weird. Cause before Rosie got on the podcast, he, he, you turned to his son and said, kiss, this ring. And he made the sun kiss the championship ring like three times. He's like, Oh yes. He doesn't go to bed until he kisses the ring every night. Nightly thing. That's what we do. Yeah. That's how it goes around here. Matt, we're only going, how's it going with you? I realized that we had great weather this fall in Minnesota, right? Russell, you're, you're the only one who can it was warm as the average, but it absolutely cut down on my prime champion reverse. We wearing season. You never needed them. And so I've been trying, I've been trying to catch up, but it's getting now too cold even. So like, I have to put like jackets over the reverse weave.

[27:00]So kind of pissed about that I'm lost out a little bit of season there. That's a, that's a bummer. You know, what's rude about a reverse weave is that's what Aaron used to run in high school with his two man basketball team. Two man basketball. I actually, I have a VHS Rosie and I've been trying to figure out how to do this. And it's, it just sits in my back room of 1997 Richfield versus Edina football. And so somehow I got to get that because my brother was a year younger than Me. He's on there and Joe and some of these other people that you guys know, but, my brother about six months ago sent me a link to a basketball game. So Richfield class of 2000, their senior year was playing against Roosevelt and it was super fun to watch all those guys playing basketball. You know, I had graduated. So there's the people that I played with the year before, things like that. So that is, it, it must be fun. I mean, I can't imagine today's, I can't imagine today's youth, right? Like my kids have so many damn pictures of themselves. Right.

[28:00]Right. And so many videos, I think like my wife's taking like a second today, kind of a thing. So like at the end of the year, I love watching it. I think it's going to be 365. I love that stuff. It's fun. It's cool. But like how many pictures of yours, I don't know if I've seen one video of myself, like under the age of 16 ever. I don't know. It's fun. It's like seeing a ghost. Yeah. I have the video of me being in the bad boys band. Man, if you need me to convert that VHS, I know how to do it. Cause I converted the bad boys. We might have to do that for a holiday special. Take a little detour, do the bad boys album. It's so good. Last thing is Rosie. I got a big trip. I'm leaving on in like eight hours here. Oh God. Heading out with Joe. It could have been nine hours. If someone would have been on time. Well, that's how I usually feel about all our episodes. We're about to start recording. This is why I sit here and wait, twiddling my thumbs, but you know, nevermind. I apologize guys.

[29:00]I, I, I got my centrals and Pacifics and Easterns mixed up today. So yeah. So I'm heading to Iowa driving down. Part of it is a stop at diamond Joe's to. So our friend Joe, who, when we go to Las Vegas, he won't go eat at any fancy places because if he spends like 50 bucks at a buffet, that's $45 that he's not able to spend on betting, Like San Jose state versus Pacific on some like random Saturday, 11, that Joe degenerate Joe. We got that Steve. We got that Joe. I honestly don't know. I've never seen Joe eat in Las Vegas. Like I've eaten, I've eaten burgers with you guys, but I don't think I've ever seen Joe eat at all. No, I think he's just, no, he's a true degenerate. Yeah. He's a, he's a loser. He's a loser. I mean, Hey, I get, I don't think they reimburse you for meals when you're on a work trip. When you work at. Well, the worst part is though, is that when I was,

[30:00]When I was with Joe in Vegas, this is what a degenerate is, is that he literally, we found a quarter that had, it was Idaho on the back. And so we bet the Idaho state basketball game, Boise state and Idaho, which I didn't even know was a college. We bet that as a parlay. And I was like, we should do this. And he was like, that's one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard. And I was like, Oh man, you're a loser. You are a huge loser to agree with me on that. Somebody has got to stand up for us. And it's obviously, it's not you. Well, you're an Iowa man. I highly recommend that they're having the state championship of a hoop and Stick, that they're doing right now. It's hoop and stick season down in Iowa. The state championship is this week. So go check it out. Please. It should be lots of, is that the 75 meter course or is that the a hundred meter course? Well that they still go by yards there. So it is the four 40 yards. Yeah. That's, that's what we're talking about down there. So it better. You really going to stop at diamond Joe's for a little gambling. I got it. I got an itinerary here. It says seven o'clock. Yes. Pick up. We'll be at diamond Joe's by eight 30.

[31:00]Yes. We'll depart diamond Joe's by noon kind of a thing. And then there's a, there's a basketball game. Iowa's playing against like the Kansas city ruse or something. Kangaroos. They just play the gophers up here. So go to the basketball game Friday night and then the football game. But yeah, I get to, but yes, diamond Joe's, you have a two hour and a half hour stop there. That's all. That's all I get. Matt having a written out itinerary for his vacation is one of the least surprising things I've ever heard in my entire life. It's not me. I am. Yeah, this is Joe. He has to make sure that he gets just enough gambling time. How many bets? Cause you guys can picture Joe, right? With all of his bets and he's, and he's fumbling through them. What a loser. You know, Russell has this thing, but he's fumbling through it and looking thinks he missed one things like, meanwhile, when I'm in Vegas, I'm wearing fine clothes. I'm going to museums and getting culture. Okay. Don't have time for sports gambling, not really my thing, not interested in it at all. We do some, one of these times we need to go to a concert for real.

[32:00]I know we talk about it, but we really need to do it. Russell. Oh yeah. We'll see you there. Yeah. I've been to, I've been to diamond Joe's once. I went on a road trip. We were going to Kansas city with a few buddies. A few of them are dedicated listeners of the podcast, but on the way down, we stopped at diamond Joe's. We went in and we were going to play blackjack for a while. None of us want a hand. We lost like a combined thousand dollars in like 20 minutes. We went and got back in our car. And then there was a car wreck in front of us. So we sat in traffic for like two hours. It was the worst casino experience ever. It was horrible about, About a diamond Joe's. What was more horrible that casino trip or going to the Rolling Stones concert? They're about fucking even. Russell, have you not learned your lesson? Have you not learned your lesson about what not to say about that Rolling Stones trip? My God. Oh yeah. Sorry. Rewind that. But no, the Rolling Stones was probably a little bit better until I heard how much fun Matt had. And then it made, it worked. So yeah, it was diamond Joe's. Rolling Stones. Russell could barely hear anything,

[33:00]But he looks out on the floor and he sees Matt going. Yeah. He just gets so mad. He's like, what's going on down there? I hate this. I, the best part of diamond Joe's was getting like a subway sandwich. Cause they have a subway in the casino. Whether the subway was better than the tacos I had at us big stadium. So I'm going to take this. Can you imagine a sadder site? Here's, here's Russell sitting down to a blackjack table. He pulls out from in front of him, a plastic bag, subway opens it up. Meatball sub. He's eating a meatball sub, spilling it all over. Nobody cares. He doesn't say anything. Loses $300. Goes to his car. Guy next to him is ashing into a sandwich. What kind of, what'd you, what kind of sun chips did you get? Oh, I got the blue kind or whatever. You know, it's blue and red. We don't know what the flavors are. Red all day. No way. Cheddar. Oh, red. Oh, so much better. The cheddar fingers. Oh yeah. I'll fucking kill you Aaron. Okay. I will come over there and fucking kill you. Shut the fuck up. Things are really taking a turn once again. I mean,

[34:00]Your son saw championships and now we're fighting about sun chips. So I got invited. My rolling going is I got invited to lift in March at the Arnold in Ohio. Every year. Arnold Schwarzenegger sets up a strength expo where basically it's like the biggest, it's like the biggest strength event in the United States. And so because I was a national champion this year, I just get to go because I, but it's like the, it's going to be like, because you have bodybuilding and power lifting and strong man. And so like the best of the best in the world are there. I can only imagine who's going to attend the 40 year old fat guy power lifting competition. It's going to be like me and Jenny and the judges in a room. And that's going to be the only people watching. And all the foot freaks listening right now, all the foot freaks right now are going to show up. They can come on out. They're going to want to see you in person. I mean, cause you know where I'm going to go. I am going to go straight to the female bodybuilders and I will be there for three weeks. Three straight days. I will not move. Okay. And I'm going to dress up like a chair or my face is the seat.

[35:00]Is this in Vegas or is it in Iowa where you can only use one arm to lift the bar? Like Iowa power lifting meets where you can only use your right arm to lift the bar. You have to lift a big thing that says a hundred pounds on it. Let me ask you, are you still thinking about me disguised as a chair? Is that what you're thinking about? And then leading into the, my chair just said, good luck to me when I stood up, My chair is a good luck. That can't, that can't be right. Oh, my chair has multiple speeds. Who could imagine? Why would the charity, my chair seat has a mustache. It said, let me clear off a space for you to sit. And then he went like this real loud. That can't be good, but see, yeah, I'm going to go see the female bodybuilders and admire their physique and stuff. So I think, but my question is this work, there's a chance I'm going to more like body of twerks,

[36:00]Sit on this. The best thing about these jokes on this particular night is Jay-Z would approve of all of them. Jay-Z would really like I, sometimes I feel bad about like what we're doing to the artists in question and like Jay's all in on this. We don't need to spend too much time on this album. This album is Jay-Z, Jay-Z, of course, famous on female bodybuilders sitting on my face. Part two. Oh no. Huh? Yeah. Okay. Yep. And then meanwhile, right? You're the one in trouble. Cause you're dressing up like a chair at a female bodybuilder meet like, excuse me. That's probably what's going to happen. He's gonna be like, excuse me, sir. You have to leave. You're dressed up like a chair. I would advise not doing an Arnold impression when you meet Arnold. I mean, maybe you've already thought of this, but I was going to say this is much better than the Hulk impression.

[37:00]I think this is a pretty darn good impression. I think if I stand there, I think here's the plan. I think if I stand next to him and he says, Hey, that was unbelievable out there. Great lifting. I'll be like, Hey, this is like the movie twins, right? That's like a good gag. Him and I think that's, I think you should you're growing. It looks like you're growing your hair out. I think you should like get the exact haircut that Danny DeVito had. Yes. You know, just figure out whatever he's dressed. You know how they dressed the, they had the exact same suit when they came to town and stuff like that. Just find out what he's wearing. Yeah. If you had the little gray suit on that would be amazing. With the red tie. Let's talk, get to Aaron's favorite part of the show. You skipped me. I'm only going again. Oh my God. I did. I would love to know. It's the second time in three weeks. Russell rolling, going, how's it going with you? Oh, we can just skip it if we want. Yes. This is how we know it's going to be a good one. No legit. I have to go. Yeah. Yes, of course you get to go, Russell. We don't say, it's Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving. This is coming out right before Thanksgiving.

[38:00]You know, some of us look ahead for times, Aaron, Matt, Robbie refused to look ahead to what's going on in the world, but I'm looking ahead and it's Thanksgiving best Thanksgiving songs of all time. No, I don't have a list. I don't have a list, but what I was wondering, so I've kind of reached the point where I'm a little bit older. That's the family Thanksgiving song. Yep. All right. We got it. So what I was wondering is I've reached the point where I'm a little bit older. I don't have kids like you guys. And so at some point your extended family get togethers start fading away and they just Go away. And so whether you stop hanging out with cousins, like at some point in life, you stopped going to like Thanksgiving with your cousins, right? Right. At some point in life, you stopped maybe going to Thanksgiving with your brothers and sisters at some point, right? It's just your family. And so I think I'm kind of reaching the point where my brother and sister, they're a little bit further away, but they've got their own kids. They've got their own family, their own traditions, which is great. But at what point is it okay for like,

[39:00]At what point did you guys stop doing like the extended family for Thanksgiving? You're like what? I don't need to spend this much time with my extended family. It can go away. I'm just doing my own thing with my own, the people underneath my house. I think logistically, it happens. Why do you have people underneath your house? I think you should ask yourself what's going on. There. I think half of it is just logistically, right? Like your brother gets married and then all of a sudden like his, it's a huge deal for his wife's family to have Thanksgiving. So they just all of a sudden drop off and they're going to spend all the time over there. Or Like my family, we had, my mom's got six siblings. So eventually it just got, there's not a house big enough to hold all the cousins and all of their kids and everything. And so then one family kind of drops off and then it just kind of goes away. And then it just kind of goes away.

[40:00]This year, half that year. And so I don't know, it kind of just becomes a logistical thing where all of a sudden You look around and you're like, Hey, there's nobody here. I can just watch football all by myself and eat this KFC and it'll be just fine. I can tell you it's Thanksgiving number two after you have kids, because Thanksgiving Number one with kids, you're like, let's bring these kids around. We're going to show them to all the family. You go and all of a sudden they're putting raisins in the dress and you're like, I have Never coming back here in my entire life for Thanksgiving. This is bullshit. There should be raisins in the stuffing. I am never doing this again. I mean, there's, what's the point? And then it's terrible. You also think that you're going to go there and your kids and people are going to want To hold your kids, right? And then they do it for like five minutes and then you're sitting there and it's like, Oh, this is normally like a five hour event, right? Right. And I've got my kid here and I have told them for five hours and take care. This sucks. This is no good Thanksgiving at the heart of it is a shitty holiday. It's hanging on by a thread, right? I'm telling you Thanksgiving was on a Saturday. People would be like, Oh, fuck, I don't want to do this. But because it's not a Thursday, it's like we get Wednesday off.

[41:00]We get Friday off Thanksgiving. Good to go. But it is not like there is nothing. Tuesday and Wednesday off. I mean, just like you're kind of working the entire Monday in there. Just throw Monday in for good. And you're doing, you're meeting your objectives you're. Oh my God, I'm going out the door. It's fine. I just had to call because I'm going to ask, are you meeting your Objectives until you get a needs improvement? You're okay, right? Yeah, right. That's it. Like you got to make sure people know you're holding up the fake. Oh, yeah, you're holding up. Excuse me, Aaron. Do I hear a looping video about how geysers work in the background? You're fired. I don't think you are meeting your objectives. Thanksgiving is different for us Because it's the one holiday. Since we moved to California, we haven't traveled for us. So we're always here for Thanksgiving. So we have not, that's when we stopped doing the big family. You guys were like, fuck it. We don't want any more raisins in the stuff. Because we usually go at Christmas in that Thanksgiving.

[42:00]So it's an entire holiday dedicated to one of the worst Meats out there. Like turkey, nobody's ever like, oh boy, yum, A delicious turkey on any other day except for Thanksgiving. Even Christmas, you switch like a goose. The best turkey is two chickens. That's what I've heard, which I think is true. My family, we just buy turkey breasts now. We don't even buy a full turkey because none of us like the dark meat. You don't need the dark meat. I see none of that. I have a problem. We're not going to turn this into a Thanksgiving food podcast, But you got to get some dark meat in your life. Dark meat is made with the poop of the bird. And a lot of people don't realize that, But I am a science teacher. That's not true. There's a lot of poons to talk about this. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't bring this up. Yeah. Oh, yum, a turkey drumstick. You think it's going to be good because you're like nights At the round table and then you bite in and it's like red. And you're like, red. Red. This isn't red. Yeah. That's one thing you can get an Iowa too. At the Drake Relays, you can get a whole turkey leg. You just gnaw on it while you're watching world class athletes. That's so weird that you can get farm related stuff At the Drake Relays in Iowa.

[43:00]Can you get, let me guess, can we get some corn maybe? Yum. No, not usually because it's in April. The corn's not in season. You can get a turkey leg. You can get a pretty good. There's a good Yiro. You can get a whole cable, some great Ethiopian food. And how do the Drake Relays work when people aren't allowed To run past half of the track? Like how do they even pass the baton When they can't run past the turn? Oh, and now you're going to set up one of our listeners. One of our listeners is the world's greatest Drake Relays fan. If this might, if this doesn't get him To call the back line, nothing will. What's the Drake Relays? I've never heard of this. What I love about the Drake Relays Is that everyone there started at the bottom. Now they're here? Yeah. Now they're here. Got me in my feelings with these Drake Relays. Is that like just an Iowa thing? I mean, I've never really heard of the Drake Relays. Yeah, I thought Drake lived in Toronto. I thought it was from Canada. I didn't know he would go to Iowa to run the race. You hear that? They're trying, they're trying to egg you on. Does he have like a concert in the middle of it? You might go there to get trophies. They're trying to egg you on. I love those track races out in Oregon. I think those are the superior track races,

[44:00]Those are the ones I love to go to, To watch people run around a track, Which is a normal thing for adults to do. Okay, not a big deal. Honestly, it's the pen and the Texas Relays That are a problem because of all the Nike money. Those are the ones that are really messed up to Drake. Don't get me starting on this shit, guys. You know, Rob, like what happens. The Drake Relays are right behind the Potato Sack Relays That like the work functions, People have to go to like, Are you put the egg to feed to the Potato Sack? Yeah. The Potato Sack Relays and then the Drake Relays. Yeah, then the egg toss and maybe the water balloon. Yeah. What do we get here? What happened? I don't know. We should talk about the album. Just wait. I have a joke for the end of the podcast. I have to write down real quick. Okay. We started at the bottom of the word here. Okay. This is the first time he's ever had to do that. We're all impressed. Let's get to Aaron's favorite part of the album. It's the album. It's a music podcast. It's time for nobody's favorite part of the show. Don't say that. It's about the album.

[45:00]Oh, yeah. All right. So I listened to my little bit on the three things About the album for John Coltrane And I hated the way it sounded. So I'm not doing it like that anymore. We are going back to my three strict three sentences About the album. Three sentences where we can interrupt. Three strict sentences. Okay. This is not the NPR prepared bit And definitely not because I didn't want to do it This week. I realize that I have set up one bit too many For this podcast. Listen, here's the deal. Jay-Z started out. He was... This is like that. This is the Iowa version of the intro to your album. They don't want to do enough work to run across half far Where they've got to... What the fuck? How did we end up with Iowa jokes? That was not the point of this podcast. That's terrible. You're going to get me fired up. Okay. Only three sentences are a lot about this album In the state of Iowa. You want Aaron. We can go back to the chairs And the women bodybuilders joke. I don't know. That's a good joke. Those are excellent. I got a bit about shade lounges. That kills. So Rob, there's figure. Isn't there like figure champs And there's bodybuilders? Isn't that the women's side? Yeah.

[46:00]And you go for the bodybuilders. Oh, you should see my Instagram, My suggested Instagram. I'll pull it up right now. Look at this. Suggested Instagram, ready? I'm going to push the little magnifying glass And let's see what comes up. Maybe we should have stuck with Rob's essay. This might not be working out well. Look at this. Look at what comes up. Look at the middle one right there. Rob, you got to describe what's going on here. Is that a female bodybuilder? And then the one to the next to it Is a closeup on women and tights doing squats. It's a lot of my Instagram. Rob, read your three sentences. We've got off the rails. Is a female bodybuilder doing a squat and popping a zit? It brings all of this. Oh, God. The trifecta. What the shit? Why? Wait, I got to add to this. I got to add to this joke for later in the podcast. So basically, right? Like Jay-Z has become the biggest business man In R&B history. He's not a businessman. He's a businessman. Man. And that's why when he eats fruit at work, It's a business man. Go. So, but basically he started off with big pun.

[47:00]And then he didn't get noticed. He didn't get signed to a record deal. And so he's dealing drugs on the street. And then Payday Records came along and said, Okay, we'll give you a record deal. He did a record with Payday and then said, basically, Like they're doing a terrible job with this record. I can do a million times better. So he started his own record company Called Rockefeller Record, three words. Sweet name, by the way, right? Yeah, Roxxon here. And it's a great name because it rhymes with that stuff. I would do it at a record company called Orange Records. And then I realized that Orange doesn't rhyme with anything. I'd be like, shit, I am not good at this. And basically his first album in that record was, Was the one we're doing here? This one. Reasonable House. This is his first solo album. Yes. And it's like, this album is so neat Because you know where Jay-Z is gonna end up, But to listen to where he started, Cause he's talking about the streets as a business, right? Which we know he gets good at, But it's really about kind of the pathos And like the problems on the street Rather than a super glamorous. I mean, you have a couple of songs Where he's literally glamorizing it,

[48:00]But this is still his worst selling album of all time. Every album after this totally blew up for Jay-Z. But it's a lot of people, they love this album. They think it's his best one, Including Jay Hova himself. Jay-Z thinks this is still his best album That he's ever produced. So let's listen to a reasonable- It's cause he said, truthfully, I wanna be like Common Sense, But I did five mil and I'm rapping like Common Sense. Like he wanted to be the backpack rapper, But he sold records and couldn't do it anymore. A backpack rapper? Is that like when you go to the airport And you can wrap your bags up? What are you, what's a backpack rapper? Well, he wanted to be lyrical. He wanted to do this. Like he wanted to like just throw out bars Over an hour long album, just like wrap his ass off. And then it turned out like That wasn't what was selling for him. I will say, I looked at the lyrics on Genius And they were, each song is like 10 pages long. It is a lot. They're dense. Like this is like your favorite rapper's favorite rap album. Like people studied this.

[49:00]This is what everyone wanted to go to after Biggie was gone As the blue, pardon the phrase, the blueprint For rap mafioso, rap kingpin bars. This is Can't Knock the Hustle. You can hear Mary J on the track. I mean, yeah, if you open your album with Mary J on it, You're saying something. Well, it's funny because the only reason she did it Is she did as a favor to somebody she knew. And when she got there, They paid her $10,000 cash in a paper bag for the job. Oh, that's that Aretha, that's that Aretha move. That's like, you better pay up or I'm out of here. But the song really sets the tone for the album Because he's saying like, you can't knock the hustle. And when he's raps about it, the streets are his job And the rap game is his hustle. Like that's his side hustle, Which kind of sets the tone for this whole album. It does. And it was, it set a whole template for rappers to follow Where the whole thing was how much did you not leave the streets? Like, I can't remember which song it's gonna come up Where he talks about, I'm still spending money from 88,

[50:00]Which I don't think was true. I think now the internet thinks That he wasn't actually that great at dealing drugs. But the whole template of, I don't need to rap Because I was such a great drug dealer. Many people took from that after this. This song started at the very beginning of the album Started with like a sample of Carlitos way, the movie. Yes. And like this whole album is kind of like About having this high-class lifestyle, right? Like there's all these Scarface, Carlitos way type things. And I read that Scarface is actually The most sampled movie in music history. It's been sampled 185 times in music history. 185 times. There are three other movies That have been sampled a ton in music. Do you guys have a guess? I'm gonna give you the top four. Do you have a guess at which movies Have been sampled the most in music history? How about the Godfather? Is that up there? It's a great guess, but that's not on there. Aaron, you got a guess? Alien. Alien is incorrect. That's a movie with one person in it.

[51:00]What were they even sampled? Just sampled a space song. Scarface. Scarface. Scarface is won 185 times. I'm gonna say, is it Ms. Doubtfire? That is also incorrect. Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber, incorrect. Number four on the list is Pulp Fiction. Oh, okay. Pulp Fiction has been sampled Over 70 times and different. You've got the beginning of like, you've got the- I've got my wallet out there. You've got the path of the righteous, man. He's beset on all sides. You've got all that stuff. You've got the people screaming at the beginning Where they're in the diner. Number three on the list is the movie, The Warriors, where it's come out and play. Sampled 73 times. Number two on the list, You guys would have never guessed this one. Snow White in the Seven Dwarfs Has been sampled 85 times in music When they're talking about mirror on the wall. You've got like Slick Rick and Duggy Fresh. They sampled that. Snow White in the Seven Dwarfs, Second most sampled movie in music history. Yeah, and I think when they- I think, what was that song?

[52:00]The Humpty Dance, which was done by the Eighth Dwarf, Named Humpy. Okay, the Humpy Dance, I think is what it- Yep, sorry, I should have not have brought that up. Oh, Humpy. We've got Doc, who helps treat these STDs Ever hanging out with Humpy. Politics as usual. Do you think Doc, the Seven Dwarf, Either did have to treat an STD? I mean, if there's seven of them, They were probably getting into some interesting stuff, right? Burns on IP, et cetera. I don't mean all the- I mean, this album always gets compared to Illumatic Because they came out in similar time periods And they're similar construction. I don't always love the beats on this album. They're not to me as great as Illumatic, But I do like that when I like the kind of like 70s film guitar stabs in there. I was surprised to hear that, To me, this album is just kind of, Like it's a pretty standard, Like if an alien came down and said,

[53:00]What is a rap album, Like this is the album I'd probably give him of, Like this is kind of encompasses everything You're gonna hear. Yeah, yeah. Including, like here comes Biggie on Brooklyn's Finest. But I mean, yeah, when Biggie shows up. But like, why are they talking about shit in your ears? Hey, you gotta rap about what you know. The chance of Biggie Smalls shitting his drawers is 100%. As a big man, I can tell you it happens sometimes. It is a thing like Biggie would always take it there. Like Biggie would always go to the next level. And so Jay spent two songs talking about his street persona And how tough he is. And Biggie's like, I'll shoot your daughter in the calf muscle. And like no one, like who the fuck talks that way? Like as soon as Big shows up, It's just like this, now it's serious. Yeah, he doesn't seem like the nicest guy When he says he's gonna shoot your daughter In the calf muscle. Like put the pillowcase over your face. You guys actually don't understand Because you don't have daughters. I have daughters, okay? And I understand that would be bad. That would be

[54:00]You know, top five bad day. Where is the song on the best songs on the album? Is this the best song on the album for you guys or not? No. No. I like 22 twos. I think that's my favorite. 22 twos is great. I think Brooklyn's Finest to me is the best Because Biggie's on it. My one, I think it's not necessarily my favorite. I really like feeling it actually Because I like the sort of vibe. But what do you wrestle? What's your best song on the album? This is one of my favorites And part of it I think might be the sample. It's sampling a song called Ecstasy From the Ohio Players. Oh, some fuck. You know what, Aaron, you've been saying, Like we've talked about this, How many times have we heard like the Ohio players Being sampled on the hip hop albums? This has to be when Aaron, you talked about like, I don't know if you call them crate diggers, Like people digging in And finding these old albums and sampling. Like the Ohio players have to be up on the list For most sample groups, don't you think? For sure, because they were the funk, man. Like they, and it was, They were of the perfect generation Where a lot of the people who were making hip hop beats At this time were listening to that when they were kids. So it was like in their years, yeah.

[55:00]It's a good thing these rappers were depending On crate diggers and not grave diggers. Grave diggers. Boom, boom, boom, boom. 20 trucks for 20 bucks. Yo, why's a fuck on truck? You're an idiot. But if they're in Iowa, They're not allowed to go over half of the jumps. They're only allowed to stay on one side of this stadium. In Iowa, they just call monster trucks. Doesn't pleasant, it's too clean. This is what Nas was talking about. And Jay-Z later on. What? See that background reminds me of Nas, Rosie. You know. That is Nas. They're sampling Nas's voice. Because Jay says, Yeah, I sampled your voice. He was using it wrong. I made it a hot line. You made it a hot line. I made it a hot song. So he took Nas's voice and turned it into a song. Oh, it's so good. Can you imagine if I took like something you said

[56:00]And I was like, yeah, but when you said it, It sucked and then when I use it over and over, It is actually really good. Like kind of like you have a whole page of Rosie's laughs And the whole page of Rosie's like, That's what I call my penis and all that stuff. Can you imagine saying something over and over And thinking it's funny just because you did a lot? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know. It was the takeover on the blueprint. I forgot I was trying to remember what track On the blueprint he eventually references. This one is the takeover because then Nas Talked about it in either. If Aaron's dad and brother went to the monster truck Rally, they'd be yelling, please let the monster truck Go over the jump. The jump's on the wrong side of the field. Please, please. This is feeling it. Feeling it. I love this one. Yeah, I do too. I just like the vibe on this one. I like the vocals. It's very jazzy. It's great because it's a song About what you want to hear about, Which is rappers doing awesome things, Drinking champagne with the honeys,

[57:00]Going on vacation, not having to worry about. I was like, oh, where are the kids going to sleep? Are they going to sleep on the pullout bed? Oh no, guess what dad? You're actually going to end up sleeping On the pullout bed while the kids sleep In the king size bed with your wife, Which was not the plan in the first place. Oh, what's that? Your back hurts the next day? Oh, too bad because now you have to take The kids to the beach because the wife said a conference. Hey, Jay-Z's not singing about that Because when he goes on vacation, it rules. It's fun. He doesn't have to put up with shit all day. Get a nanny to put up with that chair. Just going great, by the way. He's getting weird. I'll throw that out there. Sometimes he even hears himself moaning. Yeah. We have to spend all the morning of our vacation Looking for a Starbucks at a resort Because we can't just do the coffee in the room. We got to find a Starbucks. No, this is what we wanted to do. I love walking around with my kids, looking for a coffee. There's no way that happens. Jay-Z's never had that conversation. Jay-Z has never said that, ever. Ever. He's instead dressed up like a chair

[58:00]In the hotel room with Beyonce. Well, you guys know that I like to keep it Realer than most. And I'm feeling it tonight. I agree with that. And my crystal is on ice, So I'd like to make a toast. Oh, yes. But I keep spilling it. So I'm drinking Cristal tonight. You're drinking Cristal? I'm drinking Cristal. Well. Oh, no, wait. Did you actually go buy Cristal? Actually, no, Aaron, Cristal's way too expensive. So instead, I'm drinking St. Ryan, Brute Rose In honor of the champagne bar That I went to with Rob and Jenny. I'm drinking a cheaper champagne instead Because I can't afford the Cristal. Like, can you imagine living the life Where you could afford Cristal like Jay-Z? Like, no. Can you imagine, Rob, if like they were pestering him About going to like, going to the children's art fair And he's like, I'm sorry. I've got to drink my Cristal now. Do you think Jay-Z's wife ever found a bakery That is a 25 minute Uber ride away? So you have to get up in the morning, Call the Uber, wait for it,

[59:00]Ride with the family over to the bakery. Turns out it's in a very dangerous part of town. You do not feel safe at this bakery. You try it, it's fine. Your day is gone. You are living, you were at a place on the beach, You drove inland to get the bakery. Jay-Z has never had to deal with that. He is drinking Cristal. Do you think Jay-Z ever sat in the third deck Of a concert? Like, does he ever go to a concert? He's like, well, I don't know. It's kind of expensive to sit on the floor. We're going to sit in the third deck. No, Jay-Z has never ever sat in the third deck ever. That pisses me off. Jay-Z has never had to quietly f*****g wife Because the kids are sharing a hotel room with him. That's never happened to Jay-Z ever. Oh, no. Shhh, that's always what it said beforehand. All right. Do you think Jay-Z ever had to apologize For not inviting his mother-in-law to a concert Like that did? No, that might have actually happened. Let's not forget, Jay-Z got his ass kicked In an elevator by his own sister-in-law.

[1:00:00]I cannot listen to this album without thinking About the fact that, yes, Rob. What do you mean? I don't know that story. You don't know the salamish kick Jay-Z's ass in an elevator? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I don't know any of this story. It sounds after you cheated with Becky with a good hair, Right? Yes. Yeah. I mean, all this stuff, Jay-Z. This is when I went to music theory class in Iowa And they didn't teach us this part of the section Of music history. We only got up through like the 1800s And they're like, no more music. I can't hear any of this stuff without thinking About the fact that Beyonce, 15, whatever, years later, Maybe 20, used every single thing about this And his entire career against him. And just like, she ethered him. She totally ethered him, unlimited. And like, his entire recorded output Just got turned right back around on him For all the braggadocio, all the bravado. And she was just like, no, like I'm Beyonce, you're Jay-Z. You're not quite on my level. His vacations are so good that he does not care. Do you think he ever gets out of the shower

[1:01:00]On the hotel and there's no dry towels? They're all wet on the floor. And because he was the last one to take a shower, He does not get a dry towel. That does not happen to Jay-Z. Like, you imagine Jay-Z sitting in the Orlando airport With his kids, leaving Disney World and just like, He's in complete hell. He's just sitting there with all the idiots Waiting to fly home with their kids. He probably takes a separate flight from them, right? Like he takes his own private flight And they get their own private flight. His that moment where you get out of the, You drive to the airport, you get out of the car And you walk around to open like your wife's door And like the child's door. That's your vacation, like by yourself. That's the only time, right, that you have by yourself. That's Jay-Z's whole vacation. That's the greatest part of my vacation Is like when I drop my wife off And then drive to park the car And I'm walking by myself. I'm like, this is as good as a vacation gets. When I tell my kids, here, watch my bag. I'm going to go in the bathroom And I just sit in there for five minutes. Don't go to the bathroom. Just sit there by myself. Best part of my trip so far. By a mile. Jay-Z has so much money That if someone opened up hot food on his private jet,

[1:02:00]He could throw him out the jet And nobody would say a fucking thing about it. I can tell you Jay-Z has never had His wife go sit up in first class And he's stuck with the kids in the back. That's never happened. There's never had it for a zero chance. And then when you get off, you're hungry And then your wife is drunk Because she was up in first class. And then she said, oh, I didn't even eat all the food. They gave me so much food, I didn't even eat it. Do you think when Jay-Z goes to a fuckfest, He has to worry about lip socks? No, absolutely not. No, it's casual. No way. He doesn't even wear socks. He probably just wears like super nice slip-ons. He gets to decide what the dress code is. He doesn't abide by the dress code. He sets the code. I guarantee that Jay-Z has never been on a plane, Gotten the Delta Biscuit cookies that he loves so much. It's one of the favorite things he gets. And then his kids decided to get pretzels And then decided they wanted cookies instead So you had to give one each to each kid And now you get zero cookies Because of their bad decisions. That has never happened to Jay-Z. Yeah, he doesn't have to give back his bottle of Kristall Or anything like that to exchange it for cookies Or anything.

[1:03:00]He gets both. I guarantee that Jay-Z has never gone on vacation And then found out two of his kids Didn't pack any pants or whatever. Like that doesn't happen to Jay-Z. Doesn't happen. I guarantee Jay-Z's sister has never called And complained about the content of his podcast. Even though she- Nope. Definitely not. Too much bathroom humor. The evils, RMG, they got a little snoop on this. Yeah, I got the snoop sample from where it was the case. I don't know if it's a good thing When the snoop sample is one of my favorite parts of the pod. Yeah. I think it's certain or the mountain. I don't think it's a good thing. No. Isn't it a little strange that an East Coast rapper Would be sampling just a West Coast? Like can you do that as a rapper? You can just sample other rap songs And just put them in your... He did it in a lot of the songs, didn't he? Yeah, I mean he did it a bunch of times. It's a little, it's a little strange. I don't know. And this is my favorite song, Russell. This is 22 twos. 22 twos. Guys, he does, says the homophone two 22 times

[1:04:00]In this song, if you call him up. Two's 22 twos. It's pretty amazing. He's just counting this in his head. It's amazing. If you wanna be lovers, don't know a romance. Too many sex, you won't listen. Aaron, I heard Wu-Tang here. Does this sound like Wu-Tang to you? Is that back? Yeah, yeah, that sounds pretty Wu-Tang to me. Yeah. He had done a posse cut on for a big pun with ODB Before this album came out. That was part of my NPR thing that got cut. This from 96 and enter the Wu-Tang was 93. So obviously Wu-Tang was everywhere in New York For all the time Jay-Z would have been recording this. So yeah, this one, there's another one later That to me has a Wu-Tang feel, But for sure that kind of like spooky string type sound. Yeah, Wu-Tang for sure. But yeah, that's the one that's like, I do love that as you get later into the album, He kind of just starts doing like, Yeah it's like Coltrane Just going into the woodshed and practicing. But he's letting us hear it on the album.

[1:05:00]Like he's just trying stuff out. Like, oh, I'm gonna see how many times, Like can I count myself saying two, 22 times? And then like later when we get to friend or foe, He just like switches up his flow entirely. So it's pretty impressive. He's just doing like exercises and practice on this album. Yeah. Matt, what do you think of Jay-Z? We listened to Blueprint. Does this one rank up above Blueprint for you Or are you a Jay-Z guy or not? I know you're outcast, But what's your Jay-Z's thoughts? Jay-Z kind of new try. You just have never gotten into him. Obviously he's got great songs, things like that. This album doesn't really do it for me. I don't know if I can pick out a favorite. I'm with you. You know, it's just kind of a throw-in. I think everybody, Rob made the comment. Excuse me. Rob made the comment that- It was smart. Yeah. It kind of was smart. But I think you said that If you were to plop some aliens down, You'd show them the- What a chair was? You're going to show the aliens what a chair was? Blip, blop, blip. Odd sauce on his feet. This is a chair. Okay. Just trust me. And then sushi and Hulk Hogan or something.

[1:06:00]But then you would go towards show what rap is. And this is the album that you would say was rap. But is this is kind of like Nas, Where it's three or four or five years before this style Of rap got really big, right? And so I think this is obviously in this spot In the top 100 for that reason. It's very influential, but Now that we know everything else that he's done, It kind of backs it off from a, In my mind, what is a good album for Jay-Z? Hey, bleep lorp. Are you asking what that stick is over there? Oh yeah, that puts your legs up if you pull on it. Try it. I'm still thinking about the alien sitting on my face. That's my bad. What? This next song, that was the only scene Playing in my mind during Matt was talking. I'm so sorry. This next song is like when I get my can opener out And I open it up and it goes, Lightning crashes and a new mother cries. This is Can I Live? Can I Live?

[1:07:00]Live. What? Are live on this list, Matt? Check if live is on this list somewhere. There, no. Come on. And I don't think that Jay-Z's placenta Ever fell to the floor. I think this is a hint at the style That was to come in life in times of Sean Carter And where he's like, he's moving, Like this kind of gives you the idea, Like I'm moving toward rap anthems Where I got a kind of strong hook. I get like some big horns on the track And I'm gonna like slow down some of my rhymes And not just do a super dense, Multi-celebric stuff. Oh, I had a question on Can I Live? Can I Live? I've read that this was some sort of sample Of Burt Baccarac. Is Burt Baccarac a famous artist Or is he only famous for being in the Austin Powers movies? Like, remember, wasn't he like famous For being a joke in the Austin Powers movies No, he wrote hits, right? He wrote some big hits. What? He wrote some hits. Yeah. He's legit.

[1:08:00]Name one hit that wasn't in the Austin Powers movies. Did he write Walk on By? Yeah, I was gonna say Walk on By. Nobody knows. I think he's out of his way in Austin Powers. He also wrote the ACDC song, Big Balls. Ain't no N-word. This one, I'm telling you, I love the flow on this song. And Matt, I took you to where he's mentioned on this. He mentions Papayas, the hot dog place in the village. Yeah? You mentioned that to me. That's your friend Russ. That's a different friend. I talk about all my guys. I talk with all you guys about hot dog places in New York. I love those blizzies. But here's the thing What is your hot dog style? Like, if you had the perfect hot dog, What would be on that hot dog? Just Buster. Just catch him. Oh my God. Is this the end of the podcast? The errand's like mad. I'm just saying errands. Oh, here's what's the game called? Do we know errand? What's it called? Air in or air out? Air in or air out. Air in or air out? Over under, Matt and Rob.

[1:09:00]Over under, four and a half toppings Errand typically puts on a hot dog. I was gonna say somewhere, I was gonna put it at three and three quarters Was the over under. So I'm gonna go under your four and a half. I would have said two and a half. I'm gonna say under that. But I think it's about two or three. Aaron, what do you like on a hot dog? Air typical hot dog. All right, so typically at home, If I'm making my own hot dog at home, It's gonna have a pickle. It's gonna have hot sauce, mustard mayo. Oh, shit. That's four. Anything else? I think that's it. If I'm at home. Shit, air out. Air out. I will tell you the best hot dog I ever had in my life. And the one and only time I bought a hot dog, The one only time I bought a bacon wrapped hot dog From a cart here in the San Francisco Bay was, There was just this one time guys, The one time I bought a bacon. I know you're gonna think, Oh, I buy a big round hot dog all the time. This is the one time. If you go down, If you go down in the bathroom eating that, That would be, If you go down, like if your end is in the bathroom, Elvis style, How could they tell hot dog?

[1:10:00]They looked in the toilet and they saw a bacon wrapped hot dog. They'd be like, oh, okay. That's a normal thing to find. So I will never forget the 2012 baseball playoffs. Well, Russell, you came out here that summer. You saw that age team with me And they didn't look like anything in July. And then they ended up making the playoffs When they were playing Detroit in the first round. I bought tickets for game five Just in case there was a game five. Guess what? Coco Chris walked it off in game four. There was a game five. Game five. Take my lady to go see it. Justin Verlander's on the mound against the A's. They lose six to nothing. Verlander shoves it straight up their ass for nine innings. Nobody leaves. Everyone's in their seats, 50,000 strong all the way to the very end. Everybody's screaming, let's go Oakland. I was brokenhearted. My first experience of the A's breaking my heart And I leave the stadium And there's a cart selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs Where they grill it on aluminum foil. And so that's the one and only time I get the bacon-wrapped dog. Best dog I had in my life. That one was wrapped in bacon. So I don't know if the bacon counts. It counts.

[1:11:00]Jalapenos, onions, sour cream. And? I think that's it. I think that was it. So that's it. Air out. It was under four and a half. Once again, Aaron's vegetarian wife starved to death. Aaron after was like, hey, what did you eat? What did you end up eating when we went? I didn't notice you. You went to a baseball game, Which I'm sure you love as much as I do. And you got to hear me talk about baseball for four hours. And then you didn't eat anything. I just noticed that. Oh, well, off to the garage to do the podcast With my friends. Still married nine years later. I know how to treat a lady. Friends in quotation marks, by the way. Okay, friend or foe. Makes you think, doesn't it? Cause I got, I'll tell you what, I've got, I don't have full friends, But I've got three friends on here. This is a DJ Premier beat, Which I didn't know until I looked it up, But I like he does the kind of like skipping drums. You guys hear what I said? Is my mic working? Yeah, we got three fans. I have full. You know what I didn't hear earlier?

[1:12:00]There were a lot of songs with piano earlier And I kind of wasn't paying attention to it. But I've got a list about the greatest hip hop songs Ever that feature the piano. I missed them earlier. I wasn't paying attention. Oh, I like it. But isn't there's a ton of songs in this Where you've got piano in the background, right? Sample. I think it's the Mutang influence too. I think Risen was always doing piano loops. Lamar Jamal and such. When we talked about, You got distracted when we started talking about live. We, we're not going to do this one, But you guys remember back when we did Kanye West Months and months ago, Remember where it's just playing the one piano key Over and over where he toasts the douche bags. He toasts the scumbags. He toasts all the jerk offs. That was a great piano one. Kendrick Lamar had a piano one or two. Okay, wait, wait, wait, Speaking of toast, Russell, Matt, what do you think Aaron puts on his toast? I'm going to say, I'm going to say peanut butter. What do you guys want to say? I think he's, he's two year, He's 22 years past avocado toast. Like that was like, he was in Oakland for a year

[1:13:00]And he's already passed. He's putting like green bananas on there or something. I'll just, I'm going to just say dry. Dry toast. You don't know Aaron at all. You are here at all. Yes, terrible. Aaron, you should dump him as a friend. Now I've only got two friends, not full friends. Matt, what do you think? He's got to put like an egg and some butter And then some jam or something, some hot sauce. He does it up. Oh yeah. Rosie, you're having a piece of toast. What goes on there? I will tell you, I've had both peanut butter And avocado toast this week. I had avocado toast for dinner tonight. I had peanut butter toast for a snack yesterday. So I don't know. We got honey too. So I had honey on the peanut butter toast. We're not talking about toast, Talking about peanut butter toast And putting on their, you sicko. Aaron, put your feet down. Taking your wife to a baseball game And then making her put her feet into Hot dog buns and chewing on them? Gross. And that's the picture you use For your Zoom background? Gross. No thanks. All right.

[1:14:00]So this list is the best hip hop. This is the best hip hop songs ever. That feature of the piano at some point in the song. Yeah, let's hear it. All right, so the first song on the list, We got to go back to 1989. This is from the album, The Biz Never Sleeps. This is Biz Markey. It's just a friend. Check out the piano. Yeah. That's what I'm going to sing. Is this like a kid's piano? This is often Freddie Jackson's Save Me, right? Russell, you probably don't realize But there's a lot of different kinds of pianos. Do you know what kind of piano this is that they're playing? No. You know what? I thought I was going to try to do acoustic And then I realized I don't know what any of them are. So, but Aaron, you were right. This is a Freddie Scott. Freddie Scott. Freddie Scott. Freddie Scott sample. But if you guys, you need to at some point Go and check out the video because it's essentially Biz Markey dressed up as like Mozart Or some composer with like the big And he's just slamming up on the piano. It's a great video. It's a great video. A great song too. I love the message of that song too Where like basically like, if your wife has a friend,

[1:15:00]You're so fucked. Your marriage is done for her, okay? And that's something I've really stuck by, I'm always looking at her phone Seeing what's going on. No friends, please. No friends. Yeah. And that pays off dividends when we go on vacation, okay? And she has to take a nap. And so we all have to vacate the hotel room. We all go have to go to the pool for three hours. Well, she takes a nap. Another thing Jay-Z does not have to do. No chance Jay-Z ever has to leave this hotel. Excuse me, can you leave? I'm taking a nap. What? We're on. He gets to leave without his kids And go sit at the club the whole day, right? Oh, I can tell you Jay-Z Never went to the pool and then his wife announces She is not going to the pool all week. So when the kids are in the pool, You, the husband have to be in the pool the entire time. You never get any time out of the pool. You are stuck in the pool with the kids. It's your Sisyphean task for the vacation. Can you just imagine like Jay-Z's out there. He's just exhausted. He's been watching his kids in the pool for a week And Beyonce said not having to part of it.

[1:16:00]Yeah. And then meanwhile she orders shrimp for lunch From pool side service and it's like $35. And you're like, wow, I'll never financially recover from this. All right, what's up here? Next song on the list from 1989, 1998, I should say, This is greatest hits. This was after his death. This is Tupac Changes. Check out the piano. Oh, Bruce Hornsby in the range. You're right. Life was living. I got that vinyl. That's pretty cool piano, isn't it? Yeah, I love it. It's such a song. Such a great song. You know what I was thinking when I heard this though? Like, so they, I don't think this was released on an album. This was released after he died. Like that's kind of bullshit, isn't it? Like if I were to pass away And you guys were to go take a bunch of stuff That got cut out of our podcasts and release it, That is not acceptable. I'm not allowing it. I'm going straight to the bank with that. Why do you care? It's bullshit. I'm saving all the rough cuts, Russell. I've got all those saved away. Everything we've said. Yeah, it's all going to be out there. And I can splice it together. As you'd noticed in the opening song this week, Seamless transitions.

[1:17:00]Next song on the list. This is Eminem Mockingbird. The reason we have to play this is almost every Eminem song Is really offensive. And it's like, I don't really want to play this. I don't want to celebrate this, But this is kind of acknowledged as one of Eminem's only Clean, not super offensive songs. It's like, it's like that rare episode of the podcast Where Rob doesn't offend everyone. So here we go. This is Eminem Mockingbird. Check out the piano here. Haley, I know you miss your mom. And I know you miss your dad when I'm gone. But I'm trying to give you the life that I never had. It's not even a sample, right? They did this like... No, that is not a sample. I think they had a real keyboard displaying that one. Oh, that's touching. That one's kind of sucked. Let's just skip a little bit, let's move it along. Next song. I kind of always wondered about this song Because the song's called Still Not a Player, Which made me wonder, was Big Pun ever a player And he changed it to not being a player or not? Check out the piano on this one.

[1:18:00]We like... That's one of those like, you hear that chord And you know where you're at. Like you're in straight to the dance floor. You hear that chord? Big Pun was always inspirational when I was growing up Because I was like, well, I'm never going to be that big. Like I'm never going to get to that point Where you can just roll me down the street Like you could with Big Pun. He was so big. Do you think Big Pun ever left it That interlude on the Biggie album Where Biggie's having sex on the mattress And like, do you ever think he was like, This is a joke, I would destroy that? Big Pun was the mattress in that skit. He was playing the mattress. He was on the bottom. Tempurpedic, you got a tattoo on him. He was sad. Next song on the list. This is from 2005. We have to do Kanye. I think Kanye's got the best piano hip-hop ever. So this is gone. Check out this song here. I think you'll like this one. So we're just running sample. Yes! Too late.

[1:19:00]And then just keep playing that same thing. Talking about, yes. Aaron, I read this was called an ostinato, Which is repeating the same note over and over. Did you know that? I wouldn't have known that. I wouldn't have thought of that. But Aaron knew this, Rob and Matt, Did you know that sample Is of Otis Redding singing there? I never knew that was Otis Redding in that song. I don't think I've ever heard that song In my entire life. Yeah, I haven't heard that song. It's the last song, is it Late Registration? Yes. Yeah, it says, I love that song. We got camera on there. Consequences. Matt and I are still cool. For our listeners that have heard it, You guys got to go back, check it out, And you're going to hear it's Otis Redding being sampled. I never knew that was Otis Redding. And actually that Otis song is really nice too. All right, we're doing one more. We're going to cut that Eminem bullshit. This is the last song on the list. Now, this is a newer song from 2017. So this is past when any of us have been into music. But this is, the song is called Drowning,

[1:20:00]A Boogie With The Hoodie. Check this song out. Check out the piano. Ooh. Ooh, I like that. Bada Cuban dipped in an affountain. I like it. A Juilliard trained pianist was playing this And that the pianist who played on this song Said they were trying to create This weird bockish piano. I hear that. So they were trying to implement bock, Aaron. Did you hear the bock in that piano? I kind of do, yeah. I mean, it kind of has that same kind of repetitive Sort of thing that Bach would do. That's cool. Play it one more time. I want to hear it. You know what I always say when we mix New York and Bach? What's that? If you get about it. Russell, that was a great list. That's impressive. You can get about it. I like that. Russell, that was easily. That was a fun joke for me. That was so good. You uncultured swine, don't get it. But it was a good one.

[1:21:00]What? Russell, great list. I loved it. Guys, this album is too long. I'm going to be honest. It's too long. Well, we only have 25 more songs. All right. We have a coming of age. This is when he always gets his weak area on this one. This one had the style and profile reference. A lot of wrestling references on this. A lot of basketball references on this. There's a lot of cool references. But styling profile is definitely Showed out to the nature boy, Rick. Cashmere thoughts. This was based on his pimp name, which was Cashmere Jones. I can tell you right now. Remember when the word pimp became very big and very popular? It's so bizarre that happened. I remember I was teaching it when it became big. And I would tell the kids, like, well, you can't say that. And they're like, no, it's like pimp my ride. And I was like, well, yeah, but that's you can't. It's like when they sold shirts with the word porn star on them. Like, can you imagine wearing that now? That is a Spencer gift shirt. Porn star, that should be in a freaking museum now. Because you will never see one of those again ever.

[1:22:00]It's such a weird thing. Aaron, is that the shirt you were when we met your father As long when you had the freezer to open? It's a rock star. He couldn't see the freezer was cutting off the t-shirt. You should have the fridge open. You could have the rest of it covered up, right? I was just holding those Those extra long popsicles? I was just holding one from the waist down. That's all I had. Gee, what the fuck are you talking about? What's an extra long popsicle? And why have I not heard about it until now? What are you talking about? Why can't I get these extra long popsicles? Seriously, what color are you thinking of When you think of an extra long popsicle? Are you thinking of a freeze pop? I was thinking of grape. Comparing it to a freeze pop, that's sick. I make like one joke a month on here. I'm just trying to join in the jokes. I think of anything you think of a penis, It's like that red, white, and blue popsicle, You said it's red, pink, and gray. You know what I mean? That would be an appetizing At a bright red, like a scary category. You're like, whoa, geez, That's been a jogging or something.

[1:23:00]Wow, right. That last song, One thing I wanted to know in the last song Is there was a sample from this guy named Melvin Hagen, Who you guys probably better know him as, Melvin Wawa Watson. Remember when we talked about Wawa Watson? I mean, way up at Semptations. Papa was a rolling stone. Remember the Wawa peddler? Yeah, yeah. It's a sample of that song of Melvin Hagen, Better known as the Wawa Watson. So you would remember him in the song. That was his full name, Wawa Watson. Wawa Watson guy was his full name. Yeah. Bring it on. This is the one with all the NBA references. You got a Kimalajuan, John Stockton, Malice of the Palace. Yeah, that was a big, That was a big bring it on fan. Did you guys like that movie? Is that the cheerleading one? That was the cheerleading movie, right? Never saw it. I don't think I've actually seen the whole thing, But it's a classic, right? People love that one. Yeah, I was more, what was the, What was the other cheerleading? Wasn't there another cheerleading one?

[1:24:00]They came out at the same time. I don't know. It's sometimes guys are just weighing, Or maybe you hung out with people Who are weighing into cheerleading movies. Not really a big deal. You know what? Let's move on. Not a big deal to me. And speaking of which regrets. Rob, I'm curious. You were writing down jokes for the end. Is this going to rain to Iowa basketball Or the Arnold thing? Or what's it going to relate to? I honestly cannot remember Because all I wrote down was Chair plus deadlift equals smiley face. I don't know what that means. I do love the kind of smooth jazz, Like soul jazz kind of like vibe Of the end of this album. Like I like what he's kind of getting into sonically. This end of the album though is like, It's just too much. It's like sitting on the toilet Till your legs fall asleep. You're like, I've been here too long. This is too much. Why are we talking toilets again? What? You don't have to be going to the bathroom To sit on the toilet. You can sometimes be doing it. Just don't flush with the toilet seat up. Sometimes if you're in a hotel room And it's actually the only, It's actually the only other room in the hotel room And you just want to get away from people, Put on your new scans on your head phone

[1:25:00]And sit on the toilet. You can do that too. Okay. Do you think that ever happened to Jay-Z Where he had to get away from his family long enough Where he had his legs fell asleep While he was sitting on a toilet in a hotel bathroom? I can actually tell you what's never happened to Jay-Z Before and that is that they go on a vacation And not once in the history of their marriage, 17 years of marriage, not once As she brought a toothbrush with her, not once. There has never been a trip Where she's brought a toothbrush with her, not once. And so what do we have to do every single time? Oh, do we have to call the front desk And ask them for a hotel toothbrush? Yes, we do. Is it? Now, does she do it? No, she makes me call. Cause she always does this when she goes, I'm getting in the shower. Can you call the front desk and get me a toothbrush? I'm like, are you serious? I bring a toothbrush. I always say. I bring a toothbrush. I would take that after like 10 years of this, Jay-Z would just know to bring his wife's toothbrush along. Yeah, he would just have thought of it. Don't switch. Don't, how dare you? Jay, we're talking about Jay-Z here, right?

[1:26:00]Jay-Z actually sometimes doesn't think about it Until he gets there. And then the move that she does is she goes, Okay, just when it comes, I'll get it. So you're maybe Jay-Z sitting there watching TV On the only TV he's had in the last six months Cause he's not allowed to have a TV in his apartment. And then the doorbell rings. And so Jay-Z has to get up and like, Do you give him a dollar for bringing you a toothbrush? They never, they're always in the shower When the doorbell rings. Every time Beyonce's in the shower every time Can never pick up the toothbrush. Ooh, is this in the airport? Last week on the post show, you illegally streamed UFC fight And you showed it to us illegally. You think Jay-Z's ever had to like illegally stream? Like does he ever go like pull up his laptop And click on some bullshit link to watch like a fight? I would guess that Jay-Z probably has a TV, okay? And doesn't have to listen to Adele On the radio all day cause his wife says, Well, I would take him to play Adele. Adele's got like four songs, The same four songs over and over.

[1:27:00]Hello? Yes, if you're lucky it's hello. My God. Can't knock the hustle. Real man, deep as nice. I thought can't knock the hustle was the first song. We're in a time right Russell. Remix. Yeah. I gotta say I didn't make it through a straight listen On this album the whole time. I tried numerous times. I could only get through like five songs And then I would have to go back and start Like halfway through. Yeah, it did. Oh, same here. It was the end especially. I liked, I enjoyed the beginning And then by the end it's just kind of, But let's not talk about it now. Let's get into the rating system. Everybody's favorite part of the show, The Panda and very popular rating system. Oh yeah. Aaron rates this in E for eating socks With hot dog buns around them as a snack. You sicko. All right. This is the rating system. We are talking about reasonable doubts. Aaron, don't interrupt me ever again. We've discussed my hot dog topping socks Never came out.

[1:28:00]No, it's not. That would be so funny. I also like socks. That's why you didn't want to go over five So you didn't say socks. This, is this album a rolling well toned at 67? Okay, it's just where it should be. 67 is the perfect place. We loved it. This is slightly worse than John Coltrane And I Love Supreme. Is this a rolling boned? Okay. Definitely two albums we can compare. Not a big deal. Is this a rolling boned? This album. At least one of them had some lyrics. Should not have been this low. It should have been way higher. Or is this a rolling groan? Okay. We did not like this album. We did not enjoy it as much as we would The 67th greatest album of all time. Aaron, what do you think? I think that as Rob said, This album is what someone would study If they wanted to know how to rap And what a rap album is Where a rapper is just rapping. But I don't understand like How do we have two Jay-Z albums on this list Before we have two Beyoncé albums, Before we get to our second Aretha album?

[1:29:00]And then within hip hop, We don't have UGK yet. We don't have Snoop. We don't have, yeah. So there's plenty, we don't have Young Thug. Like there are a lot of great albums out there. There's one more. Future. NWA. A lot of great rappers. C. Eliot. Yes, Jay-Z Matt. I don't understand how this album To be above a lot of that other stuff. And I like this album, But I gotta just say Rolling Grown. Well, I could see why they have more than two than Drake. I mean, those relays really suck. Like it is not fast people there. And that's like a division three. Like, yeah, relay race, right? It's that and then it's like masters. It's women over 60 what I mean? It's like, it's like a community fun run. Like, hey, bring your kids down. You guys are in trouble. You're your listeners. You don't want to deal with the kids. Okay, we're going to have all the kids Run a 25 meter race and 3000 kids line up And you like have to watch your kid run. And then your kid doesn't even try that hard. And you're like, I really came out all the way To watch my kid not try that hard in a race. And everybody got a ribbon.

[1:30:00]You know what's worse? It's a couple of years later when they do try hard And they get shellacked by other kids. Cause you got slow ass kids. They do not know how to run. Your kids have no idea. They run like on their heels. It's like they have bone spurs. I have no idea what's going on. My kids got shellacked in races When they started racing. Like two and a bear. I was just like, well, Do they have like shop put here? Like that's, it was wild. Russell, what'd you think of this album? I really loved the rapping. I love the jazz piano on a lot of the tracks. That was my favorite part was here in the piano on. I thought that set this apart from a lot of the different Albums we've listened to from a hip hop perspective. I will say though that I didn't have a ton Of memorable songs on this one. When I would listen to the album, When I would get through the end, It would start, I would, I listened on Spotify. And when it got through the end of the album, It would start playing all these other Jay-Z songs. That's just what Spotify does. It starts playing songs that aren't on the album By the same artist. And I was like, damn, this song is awesome. This song is awesome. This song is awesome. I was like, none of them are on the album. To me, there weren't enough hits for me.

[1:31:00]There wasn't enough memorable songs. So for me, I love the piano. I love the rapping, but it's a rolling groan. It's too high on the list. Matt, what do you think? Rolling well toned, rolling boned or rolling groan? I think it's rolling groaned. I think we've hit on all of the reasons. You know, this is a top 100 album of all time, Just doesn't seem appropriate. Given all the other things we've listened to And what we've got coming up. We've got some Bob Marley and the Wailers and WA. We've got a retail album. We've got the Who, we've got some Elvis Presley, Sex Pistols, Beyonce, Dusty Springfield, John Lennon. We've got a whole bunch of albums that are coming up That are way better than this album. Matt, did you say the guess who? Yes. Who? Oh, them. Oh no. No. Normally you play with it. Yes. I am. Wait, I just said yes. I wanted Russell. That's going to be a dime of Joe's in like four and a half Hours. He's eating Subway. Russell, yes, is a band.

[1:32:00]So that's what I said. Yes. Yeah. Russell, you'll find them round about Spotify. They didn't cover that part of my half of Iowa music Theory. I didn't get to that either. Like I did the classes. Hey, let's not go over the mid-court line. Okay. Now it's the middle of the day. Let's bring all the females in for school And all the men will go learn how to thrash or something. Who knows? So rolling groan, it's too high in the list, Which means the number is too low. So we need to put it lower in the list so it has a higher number. Yeah. Of course. All three of us said rolling groan. You want to know the reason we're right on this. I was thinking about this. Let's say all the albums we've listened to before On this podcast, however, what are we at? Like 65? No. None of them existed. Let's say none of the first 60 existed that we've listened to. Are you going to tell me you want to live in a world Where this is the greatest album ever? No fucking way. No. This is way too high on the list, right? Yep. No, that's a good perspective, Russell. There's just some way better stuff to come, I think. Your logic is so wild, Russell.

[1:33:00]I love it. I love it. I just love it. I think that's so good. We should do everyone like this. This is the only album on Earth. Are you happy? No, you're not happy. No, you're going to go ahead and make some more music. Guys, the correct answer is this is rolling alien. This is like if you brought an alien down And wanted to play hip hop, you would play this outcast. We'd have to have done that one before. Outcast is AT aliens. You're confusing it. I think Rob's confused. Didn't he say his father a lot? Said to him about alien pictures and text and something. I heard he's a really good guy. I heard he's funny. I got aliens on the brain. He also texted me after that. He goes, I got an 81 inch TV. I was like, son of a bitch. You got a TV. Hey, that's a big old Jay-Z. He might not even have an 81 inch TV. I don't even take 81 inch TVs. Like I would take a ton of small TV, any TV. I mean, Rob, TVs aren't that expensive anymore. Oh, I have no idea. I have no idea. Do you think in a, do you think in a bizarro world, Jay-Z is doing a podcast where he's like, He's so jealous of Rob's father and lies.

[1:34:00]Like, do I have to live in a world Where I do not going to have an 81 inch TV? I wonder if he's living in a bizarro world. Next up, we've got what I think is a techno album. I'm excited for this. Because it sounds like this. Hounds, hounds, hounds, hounds, It doesn't sound like that at all. Yeah, it's hounds. Kate Bush, hounds of love. Hounds, hounds, hounds, hounds, Hounds of love. It's the same thing on the radio. Hounds of love. Do you know how long it took me to write that song? Worth it. But you're just too lazy to look at awoe, Trying to die for her son. I was literally standing there and I was like, Hounds of love, hounds of dough, hounds of shove. They get off track. I don't think we have to worry too much about Aaron's family here in all the Iowa jokes Because they're only allowed to listen to the first half of the podcast, so they probably Didn't even hear the final half of what we made out of Iowa the whole time.

[1:35:00]Oh God. Well, no, half of them listened to the first, the other half listened to the second half. They're not having no idea what's going on. I just think like Aaron's dad and brother have lived a completely different podcast. They only know me. They stole the opposite house. Honey, we got to get to the state championships of inventing the wheel. I mean, is that what we're talking about here? They're like cave back. Can I tell you the joke I had written down? Yeah. I have a VHS that Russ can convert for me from my growing up. It's called Sperminator 2. I used to watch it all the time. I'll come on your back. Oh no. Why didn't you say one right away? You got to leave it in now. You can't take it out. I'm not going to have a joke where I say I come on your back to end the podcast. Absolutely not. Yeah. That'll never make it into the final. I can't imagine that. We'll make it pass. No, not Bernie's listening every week. And now Patty is like a super fan.

[1:36:00]Time to exit out.